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thelostandforgottenangel · 18 days

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Happy Birthday Ashley

TUMBLR IS FINALLY WORKING FOR ME!!!

Took updating the damn thing but it's finally letting me access stuff...

Anywho, Happy Birthday to the best sister this world could have ever given me, I know I've said it already but I'm so sorry this is so late sis but so much love and care went into making sure you had a birthday worthy of the sweet and kind hearted person I have had the pleasure of knowing all these years even if it feels like yesterday we met

I love you so much @fyreball66 and hope you had the most incredible birthday this world can offer

💜❤💜🎂🎁💜❤💜

💘 **Click to enjoy** 🥰

His morning had started before it had really ended

Even though he had gone to bed on time with his wife after getting their children down for bed and her helping him decompress his built up stress when he rolled over to make love to her needing that simple yet passionate contact until they passed out together he had been up half the night watching over their sick family member who had woken up half of the house with her usual fashion of nightmares only to not remember where she was or who was with her

Him and Ashley had rushed to her room finding Raphael sitting with her in his arms realizing she wasn’t with them in that moment and after his wife got her to breathe he had sent her to go get more rest promising he’d come get her if they needed her

His brother’s had came to check on her seeing her breaking down begging for somebody not there to help her but had to return to their rooms just after he had gotten her calmed down before Master Splinter had come in to take over just as she had fell back to sleep sending him back to bed knowing tomorrow was important

There had been hesitation but the pull to have his wife in his arms was stronger once he knew the family was going to come get him if it got worse

After last year he wasn’t taking any chances no matter how crazy their lives had gotten since running from New York a few years back he wasn’t going to forget this year

He had no excuse last year no matter how everything had piled up on them and his wife had said so he should have never forgotten Ashley’s special day but he had worked like hell to try and make it up to her with an unforgettable date and every day he could after to show how sorry he was

This year he had several alarms, a calendar with a count down written on it, and his work board with several sticky notes

Between the several attacks on their home from the people hunting Angel resulting in a shit show of events; like a few of his brother’s and family members memories being wiped, to where in the last when they lost the child his little sister had been carrying when she saved his daughter Lily from one of heaven’s executioners, the heartbreaking moments of not only betraying Red’s trust in hiding the files that held the fate of his first mate and what had really happened to her from Baxter’s computer but also having the consequences of his actions slam him into a wall in a rage of pure anger before his brother had disappeared completely into the lake

He had still not forgiven himself for that after the couple of months of trying not to think his newest brother was dead or when he had returned alive but hurt badly

Topping all that off with the moment he realized the health of their angelic family member was only worsening by the day he had also installed a count down timer to his computer that alerted him five times every day so he could continue his research into stopping the cancer taking over her body but also keep her from succumbing to the disease

Was it necessary? Probably not, given Angel was staying on his ass to just focus on the more important people in his life even through her own decline with her worsening illness made it harder to do so when her mind seemed to be going she had really pushed for him to just focus on his wife and kids instead of stopping what she knew he couldn’t

Was it worth it? Abso-fucking-lutly if it meant he didn’t have to see his wife that upset ever again over thinking he didn’t value her as his world or that her birthday wasn’t important enough to be celebrated

So that morning he had gotten up extra early and made sure his wife’s clothes were laid out on the end of the bed, gone to the bathroom and set up everything she would need for her morning shower or bath along with her special towels so she was comfortable if she chose to just lay back in bed for a while, then made him a pot of coffee just taking the full thing with him instead of getting a mug and got started on his finishing touches to her surprise

He wouldn’t be shocked if she slept in today knowing Red’s twin boys were taking it out of her in this trimester he was going to let her sleep in as long as they would let her and there was no doubt his brother would wind up in his bed to cuddle with the redhead so he could love on the woman who was giving him his dream

He had already gotten Raven and Faith on baby duty to be sure his girl rested and they had already offered to help him with dinner that night, Leo and Raph were to keep his sister in law down to rest so she had enough energy to be with them during her party even if they all knew she was going to get up anyways and sneak past them then be staying on the couch for a good portion of it if today was a bad day

With Ashley’s birthday surprise finished, in perfect condition, and wrapped up he started up the stairs with something a bit more fun in mind

Going to check on her just to be sure she was resting he chuckled under his breath when he realized she had rolled into his spot and like he had predicted the massive form of his brother Red was nestled up with her under the blankets growling lowly in his warning that she was his for now before he was cuddled up to the pregnant beauty as Donnie just grabbed his boots and waved to him

Knowing he wasn’t getting close to her yet he headed back down the hall peeking in to see the kids were not awake yet and the babies were sleeping soundly meaning he still had time before the house got crazy

Taking the chance he got on his shoes and headed up to Angel’s old cottage he had renovated into the honeymoon cabin having decided they could take a day or two away from the madness to let her relax

Given they all frequently used the smaller place for time to themselves with their mates he was pretty sure Leo and the twins had gone up to get in some much needed couple time where the girl’s had no doubt worshipped the leader into relaxing, then Mikey had gone with Jo trying to romance her on a date but for the youngest turtle having used it he was shocked it was clean and nothing was broke so the sweet girl he had brought there had to of cleaned up before they left

Doing his checks and getting a list of supplies that would have to be brought up to restock the food he started to wonder if maybe he should talk to Angel about expanding on her old place to give them more room but could hold off until she felt like going up there with him to see what he wanted to do since the bathroom and kitchen had been added in three years back before he had known it was hers

After he was finished he locked up and headed back through the forest chuckling as Teddy had bolted out of the brush to sneak attack him with the other wolf puppies halfway back to the main cabin petting his wife’s familiar when he would jump up on him

Gathering up a handful of wildflowers his queen loved in one of the open valleys on his way back for her favorite vase just figuring it would be a nice touch to his already planned out morning he made sure they looked perfect before starting on making her breakfast

Knowing her dietary restrictions and that her two little ones had a picky eating habit the first thing he made sure they had was plenty of meats for her to pick from not sure if they would want sausage or ham he had made both after making the bacon which was a necessity to her morning cravings

He decided last minute to just make enough everyone could eat given he already knew Red was going to be stealing off her plate if he didn’t and once the kids were up they would likely do the same, noticing the back door was unlocked meant Leo and Raph must have gone for their morning run meaning Angel would be up and moving if she woke up before they returned if they hadn’t just got Mikey to take over their spots

He had just finished up the eggs and got the tray with her breakfast on it finished when he heard movement from outside before the two alpha’s came in lightly bickering

“I smoked you all the way here”

“Ah bullshit! I had yer ass on dat last turn an ya know it Fearless”

Donatello sighed rolling his eyes as they argued over who had actually won getting back first, he tossed them each a water to silence them before they woke anyone up but he could tell the house was already getting lively

He could hear Faith’s clutch getting cranky wanting fed which was bound to start a chain reaction that would likely wake up Angel’s infants, then was going to rouse Raven’s two and his youngest daughter

That would lead to the older kids being woken up and then they were going to go find their parents to get their siblings

Knowing the babies were waking up had him already pulling out their prepared bottles from the pot he had sat them in to warm so the clutch not able to nurse could be fed until everyone was up and Daisy could be held over until Ashley was on her feet

Leo’s laugh as heavy steps landed on the stairs had him smirking knowing his brother was finally out of his bed before he had even lumbered into the room growling at his twin who immediately started messing with him for sleeping in while he was looking for the coffee pot grumbling making the genius chuckle as he just leaned on the counter trying to wake up

“Where’s the coffee pot Nerd…?”

Not wanting today to start up with a fight he bit down his snide comments and hurried down to the lab finishing off the cold coffee before placing it next to the male not even giving Leo the chance to get onto him for already having over his limit of coffee consumption in one sitting before he was grabbing the tray had heading up to his room

Coming through the door the heavenly scent of his wife’s body wash filled his senses chuckling seeing her laying out on the bed in a towel telling him she had gotten up before he had got back but had went right back to sleep setting her food on the side table before climbing in beside her “Good Morning beautiful” nuzzling at the redhead lightly until she rolled over grumbling not ready to move again had him kissing her softly just glad he could have her alone “Happy Birthday my love”

Her trying to nestle back into his chest for a few more minutes rest had him laughing before just catching her voice as she whispered he had remembered making him shower her in more kisses until she giggled pushing him away before her lips met his in her thanks

“Did you truly think I would forget again my queen… I’m hurt” he frayed injury making her shove him still tired but her lips on his cheek had him laughing with her

Her stomach moving under the hand resting over her belly told him all he needed to know and had him bringing her breakfast to her once she was sitting up knowing there was a time limit – the infants she was carrying were awake and demanding food and if he didn’t want them kicking her too hard so early he needed to get her fed

Once she was eating and he had loved on her a bit more he went to get the kids hearing Lily and Rose calling for Ashley meaning his sister had to be stretched to her limit on getting to all of them since Faith was probably dealing with her clutch of needy babies in the attic, and he was right; she had Shadow and Fayre ready handing them off to Leo struggling to get Kilian out of bed with Zara and Yoshi in her arms as Evangeline and Lea followed the leader down stairs

Taking the two babies from her he handed them to Raph who must have heard the younger woman trying to multitask as Red stood there in the doorway smiling with Sawyer and Junior holding onto his legs wanting a ride instead of walking

His brother’s mumbling the village was getting out of hand had the female giggling but everyone knew they loved having the big family none of them ever expected to actually exist

Seeing his brother’s were there to help with the kids and Mikey immediately scooping up his daughter Belle he turned getting his twin daughter’s out of bed and letting them get dressed on their own trying to stir his son who like him was never a morning person leaving the twin’s to dress him as he got Daisy who was holding the rail bouncing and giggling already wanting him to get her

Always the daddy’s girl she barely let him put her down to change and dress before she was clinging to him again nuzzling into his chest before seeing somebody she wanted a bit more

He turned grinning as Ashley came in the room cooing at her baby who immediately went to her chirping happily as she nuzzled into Mommy

Knowing the day was now started he hooked an arm around his wife kissing her softly before leading her down the stairs so she wouldn’t fall seeing the pride that matched his at how big she had gotten knowing she still had two months to go with the twins but they were making sure everyone knew they were there

Her gushing over the flowers made him smirk before they got the kids to eating him pulling his wife away to start her show wanting some quiet time while the others ate kissing her head as he watched TV with her as she gave Daisy her bottle letting the baby play on the floor in front of them both laughing as slowly the rest of the kids filtered into the room

They stayed on the couch until the kids started getting fussy wanting to watch their movies sighing but pulling his mate up deciding this was a good time to bring up that the girl’s didn’t need to make lunch but didn’t say a word more as he headed to the hall pulling out bags he had packed and ready looking over with a smile as everyone recognized their swim stuff

The kids getting so excited they immediately ran to get their swimsuits without him having to tell them

He figured a day on the lake after everything was just what they needed and since most of them hadn’t been there since the incident with them being attacked by what ever it had been in the water and it was once again safe this was the perfect day for a trip out

He had an alternative motive but it went hand in hand in their family fun to celebrate the redhead turning a year older

Derrick and Jo were coming up to celebrate with them as well and they had been invited to join the picnic he had planned to pack before the man would be bringing Momma up for the party later when he went to pick up the cake so they might as well get started

He sent his wife to check their stuff before getting right to making sandwiches and packing snacks already having the drinks in the ice chest cold looking over just as Raph carried down the sick woman who had likely been trying to come down on her own

Hating he hadn’t gone to check on her earlier the genius was shifting gears to go check on her after getting everything in the second ice chest as she slowly convinced her massive mate to let her down while coming to the kitchen

Begrudgingly Raph finally gave but stayed close to her

Angel wasn’t looking any better from the night before; but she offered the same soft smile acting like nothing was wrong as he led her to sit at the counter getting her a plate and her medicinal tea for the pain before Donnie would be pushing her to take her medicine

He was still prepping their lunch for the day with Raven and Faith’s help even though he had told them he had it to note them watching their older sister

He had been hopeful with the smaller portions but like lately he noticed she pushed it away without trying for a bite leaving his work to make her a shake in hope he could get her to try for some kind of nutrients before the others noticed adding in an extra scoop of the protein powder he had ordered online to try to keep her from deteriorating further

She at least could sip at those for a while when nobody could convince her to eat

Once that was done he was loading up everything getting it by the door grinning as his wife finally reappeared in the living room already dressed in an oversized shirt and her leggings over her swimsuit seeing he wasn’t the only one who had noticed

Slowly everyone filtered back into the living room ready to go sending the two biggest of his brother’s on ahead with the ice chests while his other two got the kids in the wagon being followed by their mates Leo carrying Angel even as she grumbled she could walk on her own

The walk down just proved how peaceful today was going to be; it was the perfect in every way from the temperature to the overall feel of the lake side

The kids were anxious to get in the water matching Mikey’s own excitement and he was the first to get in the water plunging in before Raven and Faith ran in behind him squealing happily

Before long almost all of them were in the water, Red deciding it best to just stay on shore for a bit with the sick woman who was relaxing in the shade near the babies that were too young to get in the shallows near shore with their older siblings who were excitedly playing on Leatherhead as he basked in the sunlight

He still didn’t want to try to go in after the last two incidents he had been near the water

Knowing Raph was staying closer to his mate and twin brother Donatello pulled Ashley out away from the others grinning as he kept her body close to they could just enjoy the water together not feeling secure in going out to the deeper water just yet they drifted where they were

Once the kids were hungry it gave them a chance to spread out Leo taking the twins to swim out further while him and the redhead went to get lunch with the rest of their family chuckling as the kids tried to hurry to eat what was laid out for their picnic

The children being out of the water to eat finally gave Red the chance to take Angel out to be in the water all of them watching her closely as she got a bit of sun him careful in his movements until they were waist deep her holding him being protective while he let the water wash over her so she could also enjoy the water even if she didn’t have the strength to swim

Donnie had still been sitting on the blankets they had brought down enjoying the homemade pop-tarts his wife made him when she got the chance when almost all of their family returned to swimming

Looking over at the woman at his side as she cradled their little Daisy who had passed out in her arms just smiling as he took her in; the sun filtering through the trees danced over her soft skin making her hair shimmer when it would catch the light, her sitting in that swimsuit that showed off her round belly had him reminiscing over the time they had known each other

He was still smiling like a love sick school boy when she looked over feeling his gaze asking what he was smiling about before he leaned in kissing her softly caressing her cheek so lovingly

“Would you like to go on a little walk with me my queen?” all it took was her little nod before he was placing the sleeping infant in the basket next to Faith before pulling her up with him holding her close as they headed off on one of the trails and for him memory lane

It had been six wonderful years since she had come into his life but for him it felt like it was yesterday when they had first met face to face

What had started out as him trying to comfort the redhead over her worries for somebody she hadn’t heard from in a while had quickly turned into him gaining the best friend he never knew he needed in a matter of hours; somebody who loved to just be around him

The morning she had stayed with him at the lair for the first time after they lost track of time and passed out while hanging out in his room ended in them holding onto one another all night long trying to sneak her out at dawn had was when his brother’s first met her

That should have been all he would ever need to see how their lives were going to change

All the days she had just come to the lair to sit in his lab listening to him ramble over one of his new experiments, his rants of who broke what that day and him having to repair it, or something he had found interesting turned into him just having to be around her whenever she was there pulling him from his work almost too easily

That had transformed into something even more after only knowing her for a month when he experienced the magic she held in that first shy kiss that turned into more in passing’s when nobody was looking

Their relationship started fast and got serious quicker then anticipated but as he had discovered she didn’t seem to mind all that much and he looking back now he wouldn’t change it for the world

They had discovered she was expecting only six months into their relationship and although there had been some hesitation and worry they had been overjoyed to realize they were having a baby… that was amplified when the realization of them having twins was revealed

He couldn’t think of anything that would have made him happier but there was one thing he knew for sure, he didn’t want to live the rest of his life without her always at his side

After managing to get through his anxiety of thinking she hadn’t wanted all of this in her life and making a ring worthy of the woman that held his heart he had proposed on their trip to the cabin on one of the perfect fall evenings under the stars, a ball of nerves when he hit his knee but that smile had just made it all worth it

To his joy she had said yes without any hesitation

Through her pregnancy he was attentive to all her needs and cravings, watching her progress happy to see the two infants thriving better then expected and watch as her belly grew, he could always be found laying near her loving on it when he wasn’t busy, always there whenever she would call even getting overly possessive and protective as she neared the end

The two welcomed their daughters months later far too early when the Purple Dragon’s had attacked in an attempt to capture Angel off the streets one night not realizing until they had trapped them down in the sewers that the woman with her was another of the mutant turtles girls until they saw how protective the other woman was in keeping Ashley from being taken with her and that she was pregnant, the stress alone sent his mate into labor

As they walked down a path just taking in the beauty not only at his side but around him it reminded him their time together hadn’t always been easy bringing more danger then he ever wanted to put her in to their doorstep and it was something he couldn’t control

A month later the clones crashed into their lives turning everything they knew upside down in what became one of the many stressful days they would come to know; all of them narrowly escaping with their lives but the threat just out in the tunnels surrounding their home was always a constant in their minds and for that they monitored everything and followed the females everywhere to be sure they were safe

She had stayed with him through it all

In those weeks she had quit her job and moved in with them fully to protect themselves and he had been so happy when she did but knew she had given up more then he would have ever asked

A while later they had met one of the clones but this one hadn’t been a part of the original plan; she was cloned in the thought to trick them but in the attacks had saved a few of them from the others. A prisoner herself in those labs they had took her in after she escaped to protect her clutch from the Foots plots to build their mutant army thanks to his wife’s heart of gold and slowly she became family to them

He squeezed her hand that took his as if she could sense where is mind was unwillingly going

The clones had crossed their paths many times after that and still she had stayed with him even when he became hard to deal with between his sudden outburst of anger or pulling away and getting lost in his work to keep the family safe she pulled him back each time to keep him grounded

She could have almost made him forget the danger that waited for them every time they left the lair

His clone Dominic’s attack when Donnie lost track of time and hadn’t gone to meet Ashley after work months later to surprise her with a date night at her place with the exciting news of what he had found out of her test results from her being sick for over a month had almost took everything he had away on the night she had been stabbed he thought she would die of her wounds but to his relief she was as strong as he had ever known since meeting the redhead she had pulled through and that morning he had told her why he hadn’t been there

They were expecting another little miracle; a son this time and for a while everything had almost seemed to calm down

Almost

During her pregnancy with their son Shredder’s copies of them continued to grow closer, two of them had somehow managed to get into the lair the day Dom captured Ashley while she was looking for clues on Faith and how she had came to be in those tunnels so close to their home without his security system spotting her getting introduced to their nightmares come true in a clone of her best friend

Seraphine, who took torture to a whole new level for all of them

After killing the woman who had been left to protect their children awakened something even she hadn’t know of giving way to something they had thought could turn the battle in their favor against their enemies

Then unexpectantly came the attack that changed their lives and made them decide to run from the city when he and Raven were returning from Leatherhead’s place

They had ambushed him and to protect his sister and Leo’s unborn baby he had made her run while he held them off before they overtook him in those tunnels nearly killing him in the process but it had been the key turning point that made them flee in order to keep the family safe and let all of them heal before they would have to return and confront their demons

A smile slowly formed on his lips as his mind drifted to a more pleasant and beautiful memory of his wife

They had been there for a while dealing with the mental scars left from their run in with their doppelgangers before he had finally made the move to keep his promise they had put off and on the morning of January 12 four years ago he had set up the whole thing and finally met her at the alter surrounded by their family and friends to say their vows

She had looked so breathtaking in her dress still able to see her coming down the aisle with that bright smile like it just happened

That was when life just seemed to finally find a peaceful middle ground for a while until a threat of the clones finding them had caused Leo to call for them to return to the city sending Ashley into labor in her fears of them not coming back home alive, welcoming their third child that night and causing the leader to start planning out a more productive way to deal with the problems at hand

What should have been the happiest time of their lives never seemed to last

He could still recall her face the day Dom made contact having tracked them down after they thought they were untraceable and off the grid never realizing Seraphine’s invasion of the lair had alternative motives until it was too late

He regretted all of that day

Everything from them leaving not realizing it had been a trick to get them out of the way had almost cost all of them what was important

The girl’s being kidnapped and tormented, them hearing it all happen over the radio as they raced the three hours back to save their family left Raven delivering Leonardo’s son in a cave under their imprisonment before they could manage to escape, Raph still hadn’t recovered from seeing a knife through Angel’s chest once they were home, the trauma it would leave on all of them in the end after the battle had been won and they had ended the clones for good, finally breathing a breath of relief when it settled in they were finally free

The end of that chapter welcomed not only Raven’s new son but the reality of him welcoming another less then expected but much wanted child despite their fears but like always they faced it together

Since then new issues arose in the form of new enemies between hunters and heaven’s army looking to terminate their happy life in order to end the Fallen they called family, a terrifying attack that had taken Angel’s sight and sent her health spiraling in a downward path, Red returning suddenly somehow being brought back from the dead looking as he had that faithful day only to watch him become a brother they cared for as if he had always been there, the death and revival of three family members in three separate ambushes by those who sought to end the angel who put everything on the line, and watching almost all his brother’s forgetting a important part of their lives, his denial to face his true feelings over what Dom left behind, later their struggles to hang on to what they protected while accepting what they couldn’t change

At that point he had expected Ashley to leave him; but like always she stood by him

As they neared a tree across the trail they had yet to move in the last few months he lifted her into his arms leaping over grinning as she giggled snuggling in his arms when he refused to sit her down for a while

Her sweet plea finally got him to do so chuckling as she nuzzled into his side holding her as they got where he was taking her presenting the blanket set up under a tree that looked over the water able to see their family from the hill pulling her into his arms just swaying with her

Her smile as they danced in the peaceful quiet melted his heart humming their song knowing she loved to hear it until he could see she was getting tired bringing her to sit in his lap once he was seated so they could be alone but was still lost in his mind realizing just how much they had been through

The transitioning period of getting used to the new turtle that stumbled into their lives by accident quickly becoming a favorite between the women willing to give him the chance to prove he had changed, watching the kids become attached, all the way to them welcoming their new brother into the clan and all the fun nights and days they had as a family while recovering and renewing bonds to one another seemed to just melt into one single moment

Donnie himself learning the hard way not to piss off his sister in law when he finally cracked under the weight and voiced his feeling’s over everything that had happened after he had started taking too many pain meds to numb his knee almost causing his wife to leave him

The birth of Mikey’s nephilim daughter Belle three month’s too early

The sudden t-boning of Lucifer just popping into their lives to be reunited with his long lost sister bringing dire news of the new threat centered on her new daughter that Angel started a war over to protect her baby

Two months later his daughter Daisy came into the world who he instantly love the second he saw her

Michael and Gabriel’s joint efforts in trapping Angel when she had gone to stop him from taking Ashley to the in between ending her up in purgatory for three days only to discover for her it had been years of fighting to survive until somebody could help her

Gabriel coming back with his need for revenge had nearly cost them Raph who perished in Angel’s arms but had been saved at the last second – and in the same night watching Raven and Leo lose their unborn daughter Harmony who was born too early when the young woman had taken a blow to her middle while protecting his little Lily

Gaining new friends in Derrick, the town’s vet, and his sweet sister Joanna who had fallen hard for his youngest brother almost the second their eyes met loving he had gotten most of Mikey’s nervous fumbles in gaining her attention on video but loved his baby brother found somebody like he had in Ashley

Meeting Batya, Angel’s first daughter from her first life who had been hiding in their home under their noses so Lucifer had eyes on the blind woman who was starting to worsen even though she had survived the darts meant to kill her

Few months of talking about it and coming up with plans Ashley had lovingly convinced him (without having to really) to help her give Red a family of his own only to discover his brother had accomplished that on his own and would be welcoming twins with his wonderful wife who was willing to give more then she ever asked for

His discovery of Angel hiding just how bad her illness was when her body quit on her putting their family member in a coma they were sure she wouldn’t come back from

Red learning the truth of what had really happened in those labs losing his temper, attacking Donnie in a fit of rage and bolting in fear he would harm his family… the two months of thinking he had tragically drown and was lost to them ripped a hole right in the family but barely having time to mourn with dealing the best they could when whatever had taken him started hunting them…

The joyous day Red limped back into the yard hurt worse then when they found him in the woods the first time but he was alive and he couldn’t recall how long he had hugged him just knowing he was back and okay

Her hand on his cheek snapped him out of his thoughts seeing her concern behind that bright smile had him chuckling nuzzling into her palm taking her hand under his as he leaned his shell on the tree once she shifted to straddle his legs brushing back a stray curl

His honey brown eyes looking over her beautiful face as she silently tried to get him to talk to her about what had him so unfocused “Sorry my love… I was just – thinking about everything” he kissed her hand meeting her eyes easily taken by just how amazing she looked after everything still seeing the same woman he had fell for but he could see the subtle changes and he could only fall further

She had laughed at his love struck expression going to say something before he lifted her chin silencing her too easily; leaning down and kissing her gently as she rested on his chest

It didn’t take her long to pull him in deeper once her arms went around his neck nipping at her as it started to become needy his arms slipping around her waist before his affections were trailing down her neck nuzzling into her gaining the beautiful laughter that to him would always rival the sweetest melody this universe could produce

Her petting of his cheek had his head resting on her shoulder listening to everything around him as she talked about what she wanted to do when they got back to the others already knowing he had planned the day trying to get him to tell her something about to night but he smiled shaking his head

It was all going to be a surprise and even with her begging to just get a clue he pecked her lips shaking his head not going to give away anything so he could see that shock in her eyes when she got to see it

They just sat there holding each other sharing kisses and loving affections until she wanted to go back to the kids grumbling lightly wanting his wife to get some time to just enjoy the quiet but knew the guys were bound to come up to jump off into the water below sooner or later

Finally with a few more kisses he gave taking her back to the family loving the walk back more as she moved to get a few flowers to make a flower crown for their daughters picking a purple wild flower to put in her hair before coming to the waters edge

April and Casey had looked to have made it finally before noticing Derrick must have arrived shortly after him and his wife had wondered off having a splash battle with the twin women

Having kicked off his boots on shore his jeans were soaked and Jo was out in the water with Mikey holding onto his shell as he swam to attack the leader who was floating on his back looking to have dosed off chuckling as their children came running to get their mother having escape their Aunt

He all out laughed harder then he had in weeks at the sight of Angel wearing Raphael’s sunglasses to cover her blind eyes laying out on the blanket by the infants she was watching her wings stretched wide with each baby cuddled into her soft feathers not seeming to be sleeping but was still probably keeping track of everyone there in her minds eye

Momma had made it to spend the day with her favorite adopted daughter, her sitting off to the side grinning as the two women attacked Derrick tackling him into the shallow water when he dropped his guard them giggling wildly as he sputtered but sighed ripping off the shirt he was wearing going to just swim even if he hadn’t planned to actually get in

Raph looked to have finally convinced Red to try to get in the water keeping a good eye on him to be sure he didn’t accidently go under waving to them when he realized they were back

Leatherhead per usual had the older kids and was letting them ride on his back Killian holding onto Rose so she didn’t fall in since she wasn’t the strongest swimmer just yet but once they were closer to shore they took turns jumping in and swimming around until he stopped to let them get back up

Seeing as everyone was having a blast he grabbed up Ashley taking her in for a bit more fun hearing her squeal at the cool water he dunked her in until she was holding onto him as he swam her out to his massive brothers

Red was grinning when he saw the redhead and Donnie happily let her go to him for a bit as he went to help Mikey prank his older brother who was ignoring him completely both jumping the older turtle dunking in fully under the surface

Leo had been fully asleep and given his trauma from the whole lake attack a week after Red had gone missing he panicked thrashing around and yelling once he was back up, it would have seemed he hadn’t appreciated the sudden wake up call but got the expected outcome of him chasing them diving under to escape the leader before he pounced on Mikey

He waited a few minutes before resurfacing a good ways away from his brothers seeing Raph had joined in on the fun once he was out of the way and Ashley was keeping an eye on their brother going out a bit further to explore but staying where his feet could touch the bottom

Another hour in and he sighed in relief seeing Angel finally getting up to get in the water once each of the babies had been moved and the older woman was watching over them with his father slowly swimming out to be with Raph who hadn’t seen her coming until she was on his arm nuzzling at him

He had really thought she would stay on the shore all day but was glad to see she felt good enough to actually swim out even if she had no energy after it still gave him hope she was going to get better

Eventually the kids joined them where they were out in the deeper water wanting to swim with their parents not only cause it looked like fun, of course they all knew the massive croc needed to do yet another quick sweep of the area to be sure it was safe given he kept doing it every thirty minutes but also to get a break as well so seeing the kids had the males chuckling

Each slid off as the crocodile passed them getting to their daddy’s

None of them let the kids go no matter how great their swimming skills could be each of their fathers kept a hand on them, Raph having the hardest time given his three spent more time in the water with their mother then all the other children they had wonderful experience and loved going under to look for treasures but it didn’t make it any less scary

His daughters being out in the deep water made him move closer to the others so he could stand to watch them holding Rose’s hand the whole time she was there chuckling as she floated on her shell just like her aunt had taught her smiling happily at him as he pulled her around

Once Leo had his daughter with Angel he was racing Mikey to the drop off cliff knowing the two would likely get all of them up there by the end of the day hearing the cheers minutes later as Leo bolted over the side of the forty foot drop off having to tell his wife no when she gave him that look wanting to go like he had let her the last two years

After a while Killian somehow slipped away from his dad to get Rose so they could play, it was noticeable the smile on both his and Raphael’s faces as the boy took extra care to hold onto the smaller girl so she could swim the short distance to his father who laughed seeing how calm the girl was when his boy was there

Donnie glancing over to see the warm smile on Ashley’s face that had to match his told him both knew she was in good hands letting Lily swim beside him even if his eyes didn’t leave her for too long – that was until Leo grabbed him to get his revenge for pranking him turning it into an all out water wrestling with all their brother’s as their mates laughed clearing the children from the area knowing it would get out of hand

Seeing the bigger males acting like they did had the kids giggling and cheering on their dad’s to win

He at one point got the best of Leo but Raph jumping in right after had been his undoing cause the second the massive turtle had him caught the other’s ganged up on him

It started out as just sparring but quickly became all of them trying to dunk the others under the water

The birthday girl stepping in was the only reason Mikey hadn’t gotten the chance to drown him but it didn’t stop Raph from throwing the genius once the redhead’s back was turned

They stayed out there until the sun was just above the horizon before calling for everyone to get out to dry off glad their friends had brought down more towels for the others given somehow a few had been turned into floaties by the children who had thought it was hilarious when they actually wouldn’t float

Most of them drip dried while the girls dried off the children sending a look to his friend when he silently asked if the stuff for tonight was there before his eyes caught the women all ogling the man Angel smiling even if she couldn’t see it was clear Ashley was telling her everything in great detail

Of course his queen would be enjoying this shooting her a playful glare as she stuck her tongue out at him but what did he expect the wife stealer was her boss at the vet clinic and as he had accepted a while back – her work husband

She did it on purpose to make him jealous

His brother’s growling when they noticed had everyone laughing knowing the girls were just trying to get some affection and what worked better then making them more then just a little green

Red with the help of Leo loaded the kids in the wagon after all their stuff was in the other while Raph took Master Splinter and Mary back to the cabin Angel and the twins following them with the older children who were making sure the angel didn’t trip by tapping a stick so she knew it was clear

Mikey being overly affectionate with Jo as they all headed home had him tapping his baby brother to focus given if they needed help getting ‘anyone’ back to the cabin he had to carry her but they had agreed to let her go as far as she could before they had to step in

And after seeing she was okay he was right back to flirting with his mate as if she wasn’t already his

Shockingly Angel got a good ways before having to rest Raph stopping worried she had over done it making Ashley go to her side offering to help but when she tried to say she was fine he rolled his eyes handing off his son to Joanna and scooping up the woman even with her arguing for a good minute and a half on how she didn’t need carried around

He tuned it out letting her get it out until she soon fell silent making him realize she had passed out too easily against him cooing snidely in a teasing tone

“Awww… look at the sweet baby- threw her little tantrum now she’s sleeping like a good girl”

His brother’s laughing when they saw it too had him grinning but before he could even say another word Ashley gave him that look knowing she was overly protective of her sister meant he had to behave unless he wanted her to get him

He would bide his time well, the redhead was in the best mood today so he just had to wait to get in those little jabs later but given his friend was the oldest out of all of them and acted like a child while sick making his job of caring for her harder he had been treating her like a child lately

For Ashley’s birthday he had tried to hold off but this was set up so beautifully an just seemed too easy

Walking into the house they all left their stuff on the porch to dry while he headed for the stairs cradling the sleeping woman figuring a nap couldn’t hurt her while they got the night going before Ashley’s birthday dinner when they would get her up again seeing his wife drop on the couch happily curling up on the cushions as the kids started their favorite movie to watch with her

They had about an hour and he still had to go get the wood for tonight from the side of the house knowing the massive brother’s were going to start moving the tables and chairs to their favorite spot just outback so they weren’t too far from the kids after they had to go to bed

He thought he was a safe distance looking around the room when Raphael hadn’t came to take her from him knowing for that moment he was safe

Leo seeing his playful gleam started shaking his head silently mouthing in order to tell him no and motioning for him not to do it given this was going to go two ways one not ideal the other - worth it

Rule number one when it came to a pregnant Ash… don’t push your luck

Rule number two … make her laugh and rule one was out the window faster then Mikey when he heard the word ‘cleaning’

Oh, he loved to push cause she was feisty and it was cute when she got her revenge and meant later when they were alone she would make him pay dearly

That bedroom was going to be locked once the night ended and he knew one of them wouldn’t be walking tomorrow

He hoped it was him cause Leo had already been talking about his new training regiment for the team earlier and he was trying to skip that at all cost to reduce his risk of dying on another too freaking far run before they even got started

“My love, why don’t you rest then go change into something more comfortable while I put the baby to bed… she’s so cute when she-” he ducked as she said his name in shock trying not to laugh throwing one of the smaller pillows at him trying to get onto him as Mikey and Red lost it only finding it funnier that the movement only made the woman hold onto his tighter but she didn’t even flinch baby talking his friend who was knocked out cold “But she looks like an angel when she’s sleeping like this… just look at her, so innocent and sweet - even though she’s a nightmare the devil is scared shitless of”

Raph and Leo’s laughter followed him up those steps as his wife started to her feet already laughing harder then he had thought she would saying his full name making him go faster snorting out his laughter as he retreated

Getting her in the bed had been too easy once he got her to release him; he covered her up with the blanket Raph had knitted her making a pillow bumper to surround the curled up body and giving her a stuffed toy placing one of the kids bottles and pacifier close by taking a picture that was now going to forever be his caller ID photo for the woman sending a group message to his family

Hey look, Angel does have a baby picture

Seconds later hearing the several chimes and Mikey’s cell playing some stupid meme he had programmed to tell him when he got a notification going off had him closing the door before the other’s were howling and cussing between their laughter

He came down those stairs beaming proudly seeing his wife leaning on the back of the couch unable to tell him what an ass he was and two of his brother’s on the floor, Leo unable to breathe had several very confused children just staring at their parents not understanding what was so funny giving him time to hide in the kitchen to start his wife’s favorite dinner

Ten minutes later the other’s could finally breathe and Ashley appeared at his side popping him on the arm with the wooden spoon telling him he better delete that photo but he had neither agreed or disagreed while also planning to make sure it ended up in the slide show for her wedding that was quickly coming up

“It’s a great picture of her to commemorate just how adorable she is when not awake … maybe I should print it off and make a collage with all the pictures I have of all you girls sleeping like babies at the most random times… it would look amazing on your desk at work” another disciplinary pop met his arm gaining his laugh before he was nuzzling up to her in an attempt to butter her up saying he was sorry

He wasn’t in the least given he had his wife smiling so much

With the promise he would delete it later he sent her to rest making sure she was out of earshot then sending the others to get the rest of the stuff for tonight handing off her gifts he had snuck up from the lab to be hidden in the back of his friend’s truck

Raven and Faith still red from laughing had come to help him get dinner done one getting the salad and veggies done while the other was in charge of making the sides getting it done in no time and having everyone not currently watching the children or growing a child set the table placing the flowers in the center

Dinner for the most part was peaceful him keeping the straightest face as Angel made it down stairs just after they had called them to come eat her glare obvious as she stepped into the room asking who had baby proofed her bed which set off a whole new fit of laughter from the family

So far the day was going to plan but he never held his hopes it would stay that way anymore given something was bound to happen he stayed blissfully optimistic but as dinner ended and the other’s started to get antsy to head outside without his wife noticing he realized for once today was going to go off without a cinch

He kept Ashley distracted by pulling her down into the lab to help him with something when his phone alarmed acting like his system was getting an update as Derrick and Red carried out the cake shooing the family behind her back just as he made it to the door down to the basement to hurry

He waited until everything upstairs had fallen quiet before nonchalantly suggesting they go out to enjoy the beautiful night together chuckling when she looked around not seeing anyone after making it upstairs him keeping a straight face looking around as if he was confused but took her hand mumbling they must have gone to get the kids cleaned up for bed

Her look told him she was onto him but she followed him out the door anyways smiling when they saw the area alit with the outdoor fairy lights and a fire going making her smile

He definitely wouldn’t be able to keep surprising her like this given she would start to figuring him out but for now he could hope she didn’t so he could keep seeing that smile just the same as her first birthday they spent together

Mikey and Red were already indulging in s’mores with the kids keeping them from getting too close to the flames when Ashley made it to their side taking her seat on the bench he had made just after they had come here seeing her having fun with his family as he stood back

They did presents once everyone was seated around the fire with the kids playing on the ground with their toys after the women had put the babies down for the night just grinning as everyone watched her open each with a smile

Derrick thankfully hadn’t brought any new pets like he did a bit too often from his office but had gotten her a new tote bag purse to carry her stuff in to work

The kids had all made her handmade items for her to decorate her area at the office so she could always see them while she was at work

Momma was beaming when the woman opened the envelope she had handed her with a certificate to her friend’s solon so she could get her hair and nails done again whenever she wanted to

Her showing off the new clothes and shoes the twins got her from their favorite store in town made the genius whistle unable to wait until he could see her wear them in person

Leo having got her some new books she had been looking forward to reading was talking about them possibly going to the bookstore in the coming weeks to see if there was anything new coming out they could enjoy together

Raph had carved her a wooden turtle and knitted her a new blanket given her daughters had stolen hers once they got their new room to keep mommy close

Angel, to her own credit given she was completely blind, had made Ashley a leather bound book for her to write in with a sigil in gold paint where it had been burned into the cover to honor her as a gifted so she could keep up with her training

Mikey being himself had made the redhead a necklace that was in the same bag as a beautiful wind chime his girlfriend had hand made with crystals secured around the top

Red having found his favorite new hobby of baking with the girls had managed to convince their human friends to take him to town getting her what she had been looking at for a while; a new set of baking dishes to replace the ones they had used for years these having purple accents and flowers around the outside and already the woman was planning so many things she could make using the thoughtful gift

His gift had been left for last seeing her eyeing him as she ripped into the paper opening the box wondering what he had done for her this year

His smile was unmistakable at hearing her gasp when she found a new laptop he had made with his wife in mind; hers had been on its last leg for a while with her refusing to let him fix it because ‘it was still running and did what she needed’ even though it was nearly ancient in his opinion but unfortunately had bit the dust a month ago when the girls had accidentally somehow gotten their hands on it and dropped it down the stairs – twice after trying to go hide in back in her bag the first time

This one was a bit more durable with lots of storage space, after working tirelessly he had finally managed to get all her stuff off the last one including all her pictures she had been so upset about thinking she had lost them saving them to a flash drive he had put up to make sure she had a copy just in case anything happened to it

She had been in shock for the longest time before he was getting practically jumped and kissed laughing as she gushed he had done too much but for him it was far from it

He could work too much and everyone knew he had a bad tendency to get lost in projects which often left his wife on her own but she wasn’t one to hold that against him

If she needed him, just wanted his time or some affection she always was able to pull him from his work almost too easily and if he was too deep in his stuff she sent the kids to get him cause they had their ways as well

Once all the gifts had been given and she was done adoring every single one the family gathered to spend time together Leatherhead bringing the cake over as they all sang to her and let her blow out her candles sheering as she made her wish

The kids were all too eager for their cake Killian finishing his slice before sneaking over and getting it down rest while the grown ups were talking, the kids giggling as they got caught eating it with their hands making a few of them gather up the young ones to get them cleaned up and ready for bed

A much easier task then expected given the long day meant the kids were exhausted no matter how much sugar they had just had, Donnie tucked in both his girls kissing them good night as they curled up with no resistance before he made sure their nightlight was on

He stepped out the door first to find Ashley was sitting on a bench where she had been watching the fire and in his spot her sister leaned on her shoulder just listening as the others talked and chatting softly over their plans for when Raph and the woman finally decided to tie the knot for real

Even though they were seen as husband and wife they had been putting the wedding off for so long for more important matters in their lives neither wanted to push the matter, they had even talked about having the wedding a few weeks after his but like always something had come up and it was hard not to feel as if time was running out for them

But despite it all he had a feeling it wouldn’t be long now given the way Raph had been talking and planning

As they sat there not seeing he was back he smiled just happy his wife had found a sisterly bond that was so strong even their enemies wouldn’t be able to break it; they were the others rock and listening ear when dealing with their own issues they turned to one another before any one else

Sometimes she went to her sister before even coming to him and that was perfectly fine, he knew when it was time she would come to him eventually and could even laugh now at the memories of how much trouble they got into in the past while silently dealing with something him and his brother’s could have helped with

The incident where Ashley had been captured – yeah, it spoke volumes and proved how deep their bond could be

Sure, Ash had a wonderful relationship with both Raven and Faith but her bond with Angel was so different, the two were so close anyone who met them would have never believed for a second they weren’t really related hoping she got to have that bond for years to come despite everything that was going on

He didn’t want to ever see their friendship end

He moved closer patting Angel’s back as she shifted to get up after feeling him coming close rather then anyone announcing he was back, silently telling her to stay before he took his place on the other chair beside the redhead holding her hand in his not having the heart to make the angel move seeing her curl back up against her sister

Mikey at some point had brought out the radio once the kids were asleep and instantly the adult part of her party began

Master Splinter seeing they were about to get rowdy offered Derrick’s mom to accompany him inside for tea before they turned in for the evening

They kept that fire going through the night having a blast playing games, jamming out to songs they liked, and listening to the remember when stories they told that for some of them were completely embarrassing to hear but it got a good laugh

Raph and Casey finally getting Derrick to drink with them turned into them doing shots of whatever their human friend had brought with him to see who would be standing at the end of the night and like always to no surprise Casey caved first passing out in a chair and becoming the victim to Mikey and a permanent marker none of them would admit Angel had tossed to him

Each of them took turns drawing on the man’s face and although the redhead had gotten onto them while laughing at the massive dick Raph had put on his friends forehead Donnie grinned with pride when she added her own drawing on his cheek and Angel drew on a curled mustache with a monocle with help of course

The twins after getting Leo to relax took turns loving on him even teasing until the leader had no choice but to get his hands on both

Raph being in a good mood and obviously carrying a good buzz after drinking with his buddies had pulled Angel to her feet holding her against him as a song came on the radio that had her smiling; holding her in his arms just lost in the moment

Knowing his brother didn’t do it often for his bride to be even when she asked for it only meant she was getting one of those oh so rare memories she was going to treasure forever

Ashley given him that look had him following suit chucking as he spun and dipped her gently hearing the catcalls but he loved dancing with his wife so he could see her beaming brightly just like at their wedding

As they shared an intimate moment April and the other women packed up the food and took what the kids hadn’t eaten of the cake inside getting Mikey and Red to take down the tables so they didn’t get up tomorrow to find the wild canines had found a new perch

It was close to four in the morning when he noticed the energy of the party had depleted and they were out of firewood, Mikey had stolen Joanna away to go back to his room when she started yawning and at some point Leo and the twin women had slipped away to who knew where but it was no doubt they were having their own bit of fun

Seeing his wife starting to nod off against her sleeping sister he grinned watching Raph pick up his mate taking her inside to get her ready for bed as he got to his feet stretching out his limbs and putting out the fire, he had turned to tell his wife they needed to go inside but just melted at the sight before him

Ashley pouted and held out her arms wanting carried and how could he say no when she looked so cute

With no effort on his part he lifted her into his arms cradling her body as both arms surrounded his neck kissing her head then headed inside and up to their room helping her get comfortable and under the covers starting to go finish cleaning up but she caught his wrist

“My love, I need to go make sure everything is cleaned up and the food isn’t on the counters… probably check on the kids-”

He had seen that sleepy half gaze pleading him with just her beautiful eyes more then once in their relationship and knew he wasn’t leaving unless he wanted her getting up and following him

“Or – I could just message one of the others … tell them that somebody is holding me hostage in our room” he joked pulling out his phone to message Leo who he knew was still up while kicking off his shoes and getting into his sleep pants, grumbling playfully at her victorious smirk before he was in bed pulling the covers over the both of them with her nestling up into his arms hearing the notification probably answering his request

She lifted her head only enough to kiss him before her head was tucked into his neck sighing happily as he played with her hair absentmindedly to help her relax

“Did my queen have a good birthday?” she hummed softly in response but not a second later her deep breathing caught his hearing chuckling as he nuzzled her head petting her hair down “I will take that as a conformation… Happy Birthday baby and sweet dreams” he whispered softly closing his eyes starting to drift off not getting up until he had too knowing come morning life would continue and be as hectic as always; he might have to work on something in the lab to stay caught up or fix whatever Mikey had broke at some point today

That meant pulling his wife into spending some time alone down in his area before taking her up to the cabin for the next few days to relax… and he was really looking forward to that

But then again – that’s what he loved about this life knowing he'd get to do it with his Ashy

#Happy Birthday #tmnt 2014/2016 #Donatello x Ashley #tmnt bayverse #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt donatello

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votestaynight · 1 year

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Hello tumblr! My name is Aria, and I will soon be embarking on perhaps the most adventurous tumblr-poll-blog-gimmick yet:

The entirety of Fate/Stay Night.

Every day I will post the entire script of a scene (in order from the first, ofc) up to the first choice. That choice will then be listed as a poll, which all of you will then vote on, determining what happens next. Pretty simple concept, but I'm sure you all have questions, so here's answers to at least a few I've imagined

What route are we doing?

That's up to all of you! This will be treated as a save file that has completed all routes, so Fate, Unlimited Blade Works, and Heaven's Feel will all be accessible depending on your choices.

Will there be visuals to this simulation of a visual novel?

Sadly no. If I had more free time on my hands, I'd probably try to put in at least a handful of screencaps for *some* visual reference, but as it stands currently, I doubt I'd be able to do that and put posts out consistently, which is a must if we ever want to get to any sort of ending.

Speaking of endings, how are we handling the bad ones?

I'm willing to take suggestions under advisement, but the current plan is this: whenever we reach a bad end, afterwards a special poll will drop, with the options to "load a save" or "start over". "Load a save" will take us however far back we need to go to fix whatever went wrong to get the bad end. "Start over" will drag us all the way back to start, allowing new choices to be made, new routes to be seen, and most importantly, hanging out with Taiga some more.

And what about the good ones?

That's gonna be a long time coming, but it genuinely depends on how popular this gets. If we get to an actual ending and this blog still has like, 15 followers and polls regularly get 5-10 votes max, I'll probably just call it there. However, if people really, genuinely like this and want it to keep going, I'll consider starting another "playthrough". Maybe we'll get through all three routes together, or maybe just one.

I'm not reading all that

Not really a question, but fair nonetheless! These posts will be of DAUNTING size, and if you don't have the time or focus necessary to read huge chunks of the script of Fate Stay/Night, feel free to just scroll to the bottom and vote on the poll, following your heart, instincts, or whatever the hell else you got. It'll spice things up a bit!

When will this start?

Tentatively, gonna say this Friday, February 24th, 2023. Sadly this concept came to me too late to start on the same date *as* Fate, but given we're stuck at 1 choice/day, we would've rapidly gotten unsynced anyways.

So, that should be a wrap? Ask box is open if you have any other questions, and I hope at least some people engage with this!

(Also, shoutout to Definitely Not BL Wiki for having the scripts to make this functional up.)

#votestaynight #fate #fate stay/night #fsn #unlimited blade works #ubw #heaven's feel #hf #polls #voting #visual novel

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jedi-bird · 4 months

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You know what? Since I'm procrastinating going to sleep and this memory popped into my head, it's story time.

A long time ago, I made a joke that reading fanfic saved my life. Only it really wasn't a joke. I meant it to be, just so no one would worry about me. But in reality, it was very much the truth.

After my mom died, I didn't know how to cope. I wasn't allowed to openly mourn ("think of your grandfather," family would say, scolding me, "he lost his daughter, which is much worse than you losing your mom.") I wasn't allowed to talk to anyone about it, except for my partner (later spouse who is still just as awesome and wonderful as they were then). I wasn't given any time to come to terms with anything. I was a full time caretaker for my grandfather. I just kind of existed in a state of numbness and bad thoughts.

Add to that having to deal with my stepfather again for the first time in years. Between him blaming me for her dying and him trying to convince me to move in with him and be his new wife, I didn't want to be here anymore.

At the time, I had very few friends with similar interests to me. But I had seen a few pics of characters I liked pop up on social media and I decided one night while unable to sleep to go looking online. It was the first time I had actual access to the internet too, so it felt like a sign. I wasn't on tumblr yet, but I did find it and lurked for a while back before you needed an account.

Then I found ao3. I can't describe the feeling that first click brought forth.

At the time, it was summer and our air conditioner was broken. We had no money, so I would sleep with my window partway open. Because of the cost cutting measures my grandpa took when having them installed when I was a kid, they only opened about three inches. Now, unless you walked right up to my window, you wouldn't know it was open; the seam was low enough that the opening wasn't visible. And my room was in the front of the house so I would know immediately if anyone came up; I could hear everything out there and was a light sleeper at the time because of being a caretaker.

My stepfather, who turned into a stalker for a few years, would drive down to our house in the middle of time night. How do I know? He let it slip once while berating me for my mom yet again. But also, I knew what his car sounded like. I lived in fear of it, because next he would walk around the corner where my room was and try to peek in the windows (I had blackout curtains nailed to the frame so that was impossible). And once he realized my window was partly open, he'd sometimes whisper my name. So here I'd be, laying a dark room, trying to ignore him, trying to pretend I was asleep. I knew he couldn't get in. And yes, I should have called the police. But years of abuse and mental and emotional beatdowns made me think I wasn't allowed to.

The third time this happened, while I was quietly having a panic attack, I remembered ao3. And since my phone didn't produce enough light to be seen through the curtain, I would pop in some earplugs and just read until the sun came to. Because once it got close to morning he'd leave so the neighbors wouldn't become suspicious.

I didn't sleep much that year. But I read a ton. Most of those fics I can't find anymore and sometimes I'm sad about that. But they also did their job and kept me going. They sparked an obsession and reminded me just how much I used to love writing. I started pulling out notebooks again and writing in spare moments. I read voraciously anything with my favorite characters in it. I learned what I did and didn't like in fiction. I joined tumblr and ao3 within the same week and never looked back.

Fandom, though I don't interact with much of it, kept me alive. Fanfic saved my life with distractions and entertainment. It still keeps me going, though I don't read as much as I used to (time makes it hard some weeks, since I'm always busy lately). I'm no longer in the same place and my stalker no longer tries to contact me; and even if they did, they wouldn't be able to get to our house. I still love the same characters that got me through that darkness. I still feel a sense of comfort reading fics about them. Life is better. Not perfect and definitely a struggle sometimes, but I'm here and I will keep being here.

And that's all that matters.

#birdy's story time #mentions of death and thoughts of suicide and stalking #read with caution if these are upsetting

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caramelcal · 3 years

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Trained for Sin

Ship: Luke Patterson x Reader {fwb}

Word Count: 3.58k (i did not mean for this to be so long)

a/n: yes well...here’s this...(READ THE WARNINGS) enjoy lovelies x

WARNINGS: friends with benefits theme, heavily implied sexual activities (not any proper smut though), swearing DO NOT READ THIS IS YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THESE THINGS!!!

disclaimer: i do not condone plagiarism on my work at all, this has not been posted on any other platforms, or on tumblr anywhere else but my account (rosemoonmist) if you see anyone plagiarizing mine (or anyone else’s work) please inform the rightful author ! thank you lovelies x

Masterlist Part Two (optional)

The spontaneous meetings that you had with Luke were exhilarating, whether it be in a bed, on the kitchen counter, or in a public bathroom, it didn’t matter. There was a deal that you guys had made after your first hook-up, and mostly it was for Luke to just blow off steam but you certainly got its benefits too. Sure, it was very well-known that Luke was a bit of a fuck boy, but he didn’t like it going around school every time he had sex with a girl. That’s why he only did it with you, a way for him to have a release, but without the rumors or real commitment.

For the first two months, you were fine with that. You were more than fine with that. Yet, as the months went on, the adrenaline that you had experienced at the start of the deal was not as strong, what was stronger was your longing for more. Currently, that was all you felt as you looked at him.

He had his back turned towards you, you still wrapped up in the sheets of his bed, watching his back muscles flex as he grabbed and put his muscle tee back on. During your time with Luke, every single piece of attention he had was on you, and you liked that, but after he was finished, it was like you never even existed. You would normally get a few words, telling you that he would text you next time he needed you, and the occasional goodbye, but you wanted more.

Even though you and Luke never actually talked, you were always quite good at reading people. Luke was more difficult but the more you paid attention to his mannerisms, the way he walked, and the way he interacted with his friends you knew quite a few quirks that he did when he was feeling certain ways. That’s how you knew what to expect from him when you met up with him.

You weren’t entirely sure of the reason that Luke didn’t want a relationship but you often found yourself pondering it. Maybe he wasn’t ready for it, maybe he found himself too busy with the band but the most believable thing you had thought up was that Luke wasn’t the relationship type. He just wanted to fuck, no connections or attachments whatsoever and he got that with you, maybe that’s why he kept you around.

“I’ll text you later. Maybe we can meet up after band practice if you’re free,” Luke commented, not even turning to face you whilst he continued to pick up things, getting ready. He situated his beanie on his head, grabbing his flannel and a few other things before heading towards his bedroom door, “my mom and dad aren’t home, you can let yourself out. You have your key, right?”

Ah yes, your key. The key to Luke’s front door that he gave you after a month of you guys ‘seeing’ each other. He needed for you to be easy access, so if that meant giving you a key then so be it.

“Yeah,” You replied to the boy, who left without another word, much less saying goodbye. You were used to it unfortunately, Luke was often like this and only gave a goodbye if he was in an extra good mood, which wasn’t as often as you would have liked it to be. After hearing the front door shut, you sighed heavily, taking your time to get out of Luke’s bed, still very much nude, and making your way over to his dresser.

Opening it up, you reached for the back part, which was carefully hidden away from sight which contained extra clothes for you to wear if need be and after Luke had ripped your shirt off of your body, you felt that you probably should change into something new. Your hand lightly graced over the top of a sweatshirt that was Luke’s, one he had given you after ripping your shirt off the first time and you didn’t have anything to wear. You remembered the feeling of comfort you felt when you had it wrapped around your figure.

Just imagine if you could have that all the time. Like those girls from school that wear their boyfriend’s stuff.

But you knew that couldn’t happen, not with Luke. You guys had a deal, there were no feelings or attachments so you couldn’t afford to be fantasizing about a romantic life with him. You guys were friends with benefits, but you were barely even friends.

. . .

“Listen, I’m telling you y/n, this new teacher is evil,” Your friend complained, grunting at the end of her sentence. Laughing a little, you looked over at her as you arrived at your lockers, “he gave us a pop quiz on his first day. THE FIRST DAY!”

You winced slightly for her. If the teacher was willing to give her a pop quiz on the first day, you can imagine thorough tests in her future, and a lot of them. Putting your last lesson’s books in your locker, you turn towards your friend again, “That sounds rough.”

“It is,” She agreed, shaking her head wildly as she closes her locker over before checking her watch, “I’m late for class though, and you’re going to be too. I’ll see you later.”

With that, she walked away, leaving you to pull out the textbooks you needed for your next subject before closing your locker over, “Hey.”

Your eyes shot up towards the voice as you jumped back away from them in fright before realizing who it was. Luke. He wasn’t wearing his usual beanie, and instead was keeping his hair plain and messy, just like it was after sex, sweat making the strands stick to his forehead.

Eyes trailing down to your books, you muttered quietly, “I thought it was part of the deal that we don’t talk in school.”

“It is but you weren’t replying to my texts and I really needed you last night,” Luke sighed, making you raise an eyebrow at him, not that he noticed. It had been three days since the day you had let yourself out of his house and since the last time you guys had interacted in any sexual activities.

You had been waiting for the text that he would send that night, getting you to get over to his house after band practice but the more you waited, the more you thought about it. It had gotten to the stage you were checking your phone for any new notifications every few minutes, and finding yourself more and more relieved when the notification never came. Sure, you had found the whole friends with benefits great at the beginning but you started to long for a more...romantic relationship. And you certainly wouldn’t class fucking Luke in a public bathroom romantic.

“Sorry,” You sighed unapologetically, eyes never moving up to meet Luke’s eyes which stayed firmly on you, watching as you fumbled with your textbooks, “I didn’t see your messages.”

That was a blatant lie but Luke didn’t need to know that. You had seen his message pop up on your phone screen last night, but you never bothered to tap into it or to reply. You found yourself pushing you away from your phone, keeping it further than arms distance s your hands didn’t work against you, and message him back, so that you didn’t end up over there, tangled up in his sheets whilst he walked out on you again.

“Well I have a band performance tonight, I can text you the address and you can meet me there, we can head back to mine?” Luke suggested, leaning coolly against the lockers as he spoke, seeing a hesitant and faint nod coming from your ducked head. A smirk arose onto his face as he spoke quieter, leaning closer to you, “Or we can go into the janitor’s closet right now.”

Head whipping up to look at him, his hazel eyes meet your widened ones, his smirk growing even bigger. He pushed himself off of the lockers, hands in the pockets of his jeans but you took one step backward and further away from him, shaking your head, “I’m late for class.”

“Oh come on y/n,” Luke tried to coerce, giving you a small groan with a pout. He reached out for your arm, grabbing it softly and giving you a small tug closer to him but you stayed firmly planted on the ground you stood on.

Luke was good at a lot of things, and normally you would cave but not today. Sure, you wouldn’t be completely objected to meeting up with him later, even if you didn’t completely want to but you would not do it with him right now. He had gotten good at getting what he wanted from you, but he would not be getting this, no matter how many pouts and puppy eyes he gave you.

“No.”

Luke pouted again, giving you a mocking pout but you averted your gaze making him whine a little, “Oh y/n/n, you’re no fun.”

Turning on your heels you started to walk away from him, noticing how deserted the hallways were, and suddenly realizing just how late for class you were. However, you didn’t speed up, walking calmly as you shouted over your shoulder, “Send me the address for your gig, Patterson.”

. . .

Logically, you knew that walking to the venue that Luke was playing at was the best option considering he would be driving you to his place. You knew that your car would most likely be abandoned at the venue if you did take it, and Luke probably wouldn’t give you a ride to get it afterward so you decided to walk instead. That’s probably why you arrived a little too early, Luke still performing when you got there.

You couldn’t dispute that Luke was a very talented musician but you guys never spoke about his band or the work he did for it. You knew that music would forever come first to Luke, over everything and anything as that was what he was truly passionate about, and seeing him in his element finally was nice.

Somehow, he managed to find you in the crowds, subtly smirking at you but only so you could tell. His eyes didn’t stay on you too long, and you weren’t too sure if that was because he didn’t want anyone to catch on or if he simply didn’t care but you were thinking the latter. You were just technically a ‘booty call’ after all, even if the term made you feel sick.

Thankfully, it wasn’t long before they all finished up and people filed out of the venue. You, of course, waited behind, knowing that Luke would not want to be seen getting into a car with a girl so you awkwardly waited about. It wasn’t long before the venue was practically empty, and you felt a ping of a notification causing your phone to vibrate.

go to the bar and ask for my keys, they know to give them to you

You texted back an okay before going to the bar and retrieving the keys, thanking the barman, and walking out to Luke’s car. There was only a handful of times that you had been in Luke’s car, actually, you could only count two. One was him driving you from where he met with you to a cafe because he left something there the previous day and one was from meeting up with you somewhere to go to his house.

You found yourself slouching down in the passenger seat of Luke’s car, head just peeking over the dashboard. The parking lot was pretty much abandoned, but you didn’t want to be caught by anyone in Luke’s car anyway, you couldn’t imagine Luke would be too pleased if you were.

Luke arrived out not long after, his hair slightly damp and you could only imagine that he had taken a shower out before meeting with you. How considerate. He took the car keys off of you, giving you a small thank you before he started up the car and started to drive without another word. You, personally, didn’t plan on breaking the silence, knowing that Luke did not like small talk so you weren’t about to start it.

Eyes trained on the road, you drummed your fingers on your thigh to the rhythm of the music that played quietly through the radio. That was until Luke pulled up at the side of the road. Confused, you furrowed your eyebrows and turned towards him, “What? Why did you stop?”

He turned towards you, giving you a small smile before caressing your cheek slightly and going into the backseat. From his position there, he leaned over and kissed you on the lips with a lot of force, grabbing at your shirt and tugging you softly towards him.

Breaking away from the kiss, you looked towards him knowing exactly what he was indicating. Opening your mouth in shock, you started to shake your head, “Luke we can’t do this in your car-”

“C’mon y/n, live a little.”

It wasn’t long until you clambered into the back of the car with Luke, him attaching your lips again but you felt him smirk into the kiss. He helped you out of your trousers and smirked at you, making direct eye contact as he did so. Then he ripped your top off and threw it to the side.

He was on top of you soon enough, one of your hands in his hair and one trailing down his back. You were both in minimal clothing, both with simply your underwear on. His hand left your waist side as he fumbled to get something from the pouch in his car, pulling out a condom.

Pulling away, you turn to look at the foil in his hands, your lips parting slightly. Luke put the foil down, but your eyes stayed on it as a hand hooked under your face. Your face was shifted up to make your eyes meet Luke’s hazel ones. He silently asked if you were okay, making you nod your head and send him a weak smile before he kissed you again. And there, another night with Luke begun.

However, today it was different. Sure, you felt the pleasure of having sex with Luke, but the adrenaline, the addictiveness wasn’t the same. It wasn’t as good as you remembered it. You thought that maybe you were just having an off day and you just weren’t really feeling it today but the more you thought about it the more unappealing it became. Luke was attractive for sure and you knew girls that would pay good money, betray their best friends and drop everything for the chance to fuck the hottest guy in school but the want wasn’t there for you anymore.

Breathing heavily, you felt Luke get up from his position on top of you, grabbing his jeans that had been disregarded under one of the seats, putting his shirt back on as he climbed back to the front. You looked at where he was, clearly waiting for you to get dressed and that’s what you did, hesitantly. However, you felt a blush rise to your cheeks in embarrassment as you thought about it. Shit.

“Everything okay, y/n?” You heard Luke ask, eyes catching onto his through the rear-view mirror. Despite the dark lighting in the car hiding your deep crimson blush, he could still tell you were embarrassed.

“Luke I forgot to pack another shirt.”

His eyes went wide as you bit your lip, looking down at your lap, your arms crossing over your chest, trying your best to cover your naked torso. He quickly clambered out of the car, going into the trunk and getting something without another word before reaching into the car and passing you something. His sweatshirt.

E/c eyes meeting his hazel ones, you looked at him hesitantly, to which he moved the sweatshirt closer to you, encouraging you to take it. So you did. Once you were fully clothed, you moved back into the front of the vehicle, and Luke slid back into the driver's seat and started the car up without another word.

It wasn’t long before he took an unfamiliar turn, causing you to furrow your eyebrows, “Hey Luke, this isn’t the way back to yours. I think you took the wrong turn.”

“I’m not driving to mine, I’m taking you back home,” He commented, noticing but not commenting on the wide eyes and parted lips that you sent him way. He knew that he wasn’t the nicest guy, or the most affectionate, but did you really expect he would abandon you to find your own way home in the deep hours of the night?

But unknown to him, you did. You expected him to drive back to his, maybe have sex again, and leave you to find your own way home. Or if you were lucky, would drop you off on the main road, and walk half of the way home. However, you wouldn’t say that to him. You knew that Luke wasn’t a bad guy and you certainly didn’t want to hurt his feelings by saying something like that.

Once again, you both found your way into a silence that was neither comfortable nor uncomfortable, simply listening to the quiet playing of the music on the radio. It was some punk rock channel because you knew how much Luke despised mainstream stuff. The only other sound you could hear was the occasional passing car.

“Hey, Luke?” You piped up, breaking the silence that the car held, despite the radio playing softly in the background. He kept his eyes on the road as he took another turn simply humming at you to let you know that he was listening, “Thanks. For the sweatshirt, I mean.”

“Don’t worry about it. Just give me it back when you come over to mine next time,” Luke said nonchalantly, keeping his eyes on the road. Head ducking down, you simply nodded as you felt your stomach fall slightly, suddenly everything clicking into place.

You knew why you didn’t want to continue with Luke. You knew why you no longer enjoyed the sex anymore. And you knew exactly what you had to do.

. . .

It was the next day that you were sat outside of Luke’s house, apprehensive as to if you wanted to truly go through with this. Yet, you knew that you had to. With a parcel in hand, along with a small envelope containing a letter and your house key to Luke’s house, you walked up to the front of the house, going to place the parcel down. The overhang would protect it if it was to rain, or maybe you could just ring the doorbell and run away. Yet, in your moments of hesitation, the door was opened and you were faced with an older brunette woman.

“Oh hello, darling. Can I help you?” She asked, smiling sweetly at you. You knew exactly who this was, it was Emily, Luke’s mom.

“Yeah actually, you can,” You smiled sweetly at her despite your nerves, shifting front foot to foot. Despite knowing Luke for a while and being...involved with him for a few months, you had never actually met Emily before but just from the way she acted, you knew she was a great person. She was a real sweetheart to you anyway, “can you give this to Luke for me, please?”

“Luke is upstairs, you can give it to him yourself if you want,” She smiled back, stepping back almost silently inviting you to go into her house and deliver the parcel to Luke yourself.

However, that was the last thing you wanted to do. Having to awkwardly in person explain that you needed love and wanted romance, so you chickened out and wrote him a letter instead. But you knew that the letter would explain everything, and it would let Luke know that he didn’t do anything wrong, you couldn’t promise yourself that you would be able to do that in the heat of the moment.

Profusely shaking your head, you held the parcel containing his sweatshirt out to her, “Oh no, no, no, I think it’s best I get on my way. I have stuff to do anyway. Thank you, Mrs. Patterson.”

“You’re welcome darling,” With that, she gave one last smile and you started to walk away, leaving her to close the door behind her. You made your way to the car, going in and sitting down but you just sat there for a few moments, looking over what just happened. Quickly, you pulled out your phone, going down to Luke’s contact and hovering over his name, thumb shaking wildly.

Biting your lip you quickly tap into it and block his contact. This was the way it had to be, you knew that. You knew that if he asked you to come over or if he texted you that you would cave because you were a sucker for his puppy eyes and always would be. It wasn’t a secret to you that you have feelings for him, it was always something you had considered even though it was firmly put that feelings were off the table. You just wished for him to hold you in his arms, to hug you, to kiss you with the same passion but also kiss you with tender love, to tell you that he loved you.

Yet, at the end of the day, you knew you couldn’t have him. He would never give you what you wanted, he wasn’t the hugging type; the date type. After all, he was trained for sin, and that was all he was willing to give.

#luke julie and the phantoms #charlie gillespie #julie and the phantoms #jatp #luke patterson x reader #luke patterson x y/n #julie and the phantoms luke #charlie gillespie x y/n #charlie gillespie x reader #julie and the phantoms x reader #luke patterson #luke jatp

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hopeymchope · 3 years

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Wonder Egg Priority finale thoughts

My Tumblr has a lot of anti-bully content, so it was probably no surprise when I began to watch and enjoy Wonder Egg Project this past spring. The series famously hit production delays that forced them to put out a mid-series recap episode, and that decision in turn forced them to push the final episode until late June. But now that the series (or at least season 1) is out there and complete, I thought I’d talk about how it all shook out in the end as well as the questions it left me sitting with.

For the uninitiated, here’s a bit of the context: Wonder Egg Project deals with four middle-school teen girls who’ve undergone hardships either at home or at school or both. They all lose someone they care about to tragic suicides, and then they discover the titular wonder eggs. They get these eggs from a vending machine and then, when they fall asleep, they enter a dreamworld where these eggs hatch to reveal a young person who recently committed suicide. For that night, it is the duty of the girl who got that egg to fight and defend that suicide victim from monstrous enemies that represent their abusers and oppressors. The girls are told that if they protect enough of these victims over many nights, they will be able to resurrect the specific person they lost to suicide. But of course, if you get injured or killed in the dreamworld, it affects your body in reality as well.

The squad: Ai, Neiru, Rika, and Momoe.

Obviously, bullying is among the topics most frequently explored here, but we also deal with so many other terrible things that people might experience during childhood and adolescence. Physical, verbal, and sexual abuse are all on the table. Coming to terms with one’s gender identity is raised. It’s a show that manages to tackle a lot of heavy subjects through the lens of what’s essentially magical girl combat. I mean, there are no outfit transformations or any of that stuff, but still.

With THAT out of the way, let me talk about how the series wrapped up.

It’s clear to the viewers that there’s a lot that doesn’t make sense during the show — it’s intentionally very trippy and ethereal at times — and there’s also a lot that raises obvious questions even if you grasp it. Where do the eggs and their connection to the recently deceased come from? How do the psychological traumas of the various egg-children manifest as monsters that can literally kill you? What’s the deal with Acca and Ura-Acca and their freaky dummy bodies? What are they getting out of this whole deal with the eggs and the girls? What do the repeated references to the “temptation of death” mean? How does access to the Egg Garden even work? Is it really possible to resurrect their dead friends? Is Mr. Sawaki a predator or a chill guy or what? Why did Neiru’s sister stab her? And so on.

The writers could’ve opted to keep things mysterious and hazy and metaphysical for the entire run or they could’ve provided lots of explanations and tried to ground this weird story in some sort of strange logic, but I’m actually pleased that they opted to go down the middle. There are answers for many things, but not for all. And when those answers come, they typically just raise more questions as well as doubts to their validity.

SPOILERS for the finale/”special episode” below the cut.

So, obviously the answers for Acca and Ura-Acca are centered around Frill. Frill is this interesting fusion between the artificial and the organic; her body can be injured like any regular physical body, but she’s actually an A.I. on the inside. Acca and Ura-Acca are the exact reverse of this — they’re human minds inside of completely artificial bodies. Exactly how Frill started invading girls’ minds to lure them towards suicide is kept incredibly vague, but she serves as the embodiment of the “temptation of death” that was so-often referenced in the show. Frill doesn’t really appreciate life or care about the finality of death, making her a pretty natural foe for the heroes who have spent the entire series learning to appreciate their lives and bemoaning painful losses.

Can you even believe this bitch?

Acca and Ura-Acca also have documents talking about how warriors of Eros need to battle against Thanatos, the embodiment of death, but what’s that all about? We don’t really get into it. Is Frill somehow Thanatos herself? I mean... I guess maybe you could go that route, but I sincerely don’t think that’s meant to be the case. I assume she’s just another player in the game, and she happens to have taken Thanatos’ side in things. Her artificial existence and resentment of her fathers leads her to treat death flippantly. She was programmed to be selfish sometimes, and that selfishness has ultimately manifested itself in the worst possible ways. Intriguingly, we see Acca and Ura-Acca act similarly selfish in how they drive our four heroes to risk their lives just to battle Frill. Acca in particular shows that he’ll risk anyone’s life to get to Frill, who killed both his wife and daughter. But Acca never has to risk his own life. He’s just risking other people. Both sides of the equation are treating human lives like disposable pawns in some kind of war game.

Y’all are SUPER-SKETCH.

It’s never really clear how these eggs work. We’re told that the Accas created the eggs, and honestly, I could’ve figured as much on my own. But they don’t try to explain how the eggs can contain the souls of suicide victims or how they manifest those people into dreams, and frankly, it’s probably better not to try.

I was really shocked that the girls actually manage to resurrect their dead friends. I was 100% certain that was going to be a scam and the point was going to be about learning to move on and live for the moment and appreciate those bonds while you had them, etc. And there is some of that. Alas, the price of resurrecting those people they care about is that the people in question no longer know them or remember them. That was pretty brutal... having our heroes nearly die over and over in service of people who ultimately will no longer care about them at all. Although they did the impossible and brought someone back to life, they had to lose those people all over again. I suppose this, like much fo the finale, emphasizes that we should appreciate our relationships while they last, because you can lose them for so many reasons. Regardless, I’m not surprised that Momoe just wanted to quit and avoid getting hurt after that. It’s understandable.

There’s a lot of discussion around parallels in the last two episodes. Parallel worlds with alternate versions of the self are raised multiple times, Ai gets an awesome encounter with a parallel version of herself that really brought her emotional journey to a head, and we even have to deal with a doppleganger of Neiru at the end. This leads to the revelation that Neiru looks exactly like her formerly deceased sister... a fact that presumably was part of what drove the sister to attack Neiru in the first place. Given that we’ve already been told that they were both genetically engineered, their identical appearances don’ seem that strange. But then the finale tells us that Neiru’s one dream is “to be human,” and suddenly the characters assume Neiru was an A.I. just like Frill. That... seems like a leap to me. I mean, she was genetically engineered to lead her company and never had a family of her own; no wonder she feels inhuman! So I’m not sure if I should take this at face value.

Neiru real or fake challenge

Another thing that I don’t think we can take at face value is Mr. Sawaki’s explanation of Koito’s death. In episode 12, we meet a parallel version of Ai who actually killed herself. The big boss monster for Ai to fight while protecting Alt-Ai? It’s a dark, abusive version of Sawaki. And our Ai inexplicably assumes this monster was made from her own fears. A very bizarre conclusion to jump to when you remember that every single boss monster has been the abuser of the victim that the girls were defending in that episode. By all available evidence, the Sawaki monster should be a parallel-world Sawaki who is very much exactly the scumbag he appears to be! Notice how Alt-Ai never says a damn word about the Sawaki Monster - never asks who he is or why he’s like this, etc? She’s not even surprised. That just lends further credence to my belief. FOLLOW THE EVIDENCE.

So in the finale, when our version of Mr. Sawaki claims (via a VERY awkwardly inserted voiceover) that Koito’s death was an accident after she tried to ruin his reputation because she fell in love with him, why should I believe any of it?! The previous episode introduced me to Abusive Sawaki! Sure, we don’t have any reason to assume our Sawaki is That Dick, but we JUST learned that he’s certainly capable. Furthermore, how could Koito suddenly be the ONLY accidental death among all of the available suicide victims in the dreamworld? She shouldn’t have even appeared there if it was just an accident! Although I’d like to believe that Sawaki was someone who Ai and the girls were jumping to conclusions about based on nothing... but it sure doesn’t look that way from here. And given how the show ends things, I fear we may have a hard time learning anything else about Sawaki. Ai changes schools and runs away, there is zero comment on what happened to Sawaki’s relationship with her mom... he’s just gone now.

As the final episode winds down, we see Rika and Ai fall back into bad habits, as they all treat Neiru just like they treated the girls they tried so hard to save. Rika acts disgusted by a friend and abandons her, treating Neiru the same way she treated Cheimi. When Neiru finally reaches out to Ai and calls her, Ai ignores the call and throws her phone away, thereby ignoring her friend’s needs in the same way she ignored Koito’s when she failed to record the bullying Koito was experiencing. You might even be able to connect Momoe’s choice to walk away for the sake of self-preservation to her decision to reject Haruka and walk away, honestly. And to compound the bad news that the show gives us near the end, we skip forward months to learn that Ai, Rika and Momoe have all drifted apart. Ai is in a new school, but we don’t see her with any new friends. She’s back where she started the show.

The difference, however, is that she doesn’t seem hopeless and lonely. She seems wistful, sure, but she never seems beaten down. She still treasures the friendships she built even if they wind up fading away. So there’s still a message in here about moving on, because even if you lose a person or a connection, it will forever matter.

*insert engine rev-up noises*

In the final moments, we see Ai preparing to run in the exact same pose she used back in episode 1 when she first stood up to the abusers within the dreamworld. This time, she runs to grab her chance to reunite with a dear friend. She takes charge of her own future and her own self-worth, somehow gets back into the Egg Garden (even though Rika wasn’t even allowed to enter after she rescued her specified victim, so uh... how did Ai get back in exactly... ?), and insists she’s going to use the eggs to see Neiru... even though the eggs only let you see the dead up to this point, so uh, that doesn’t really make any sense either. Consistency, motherfucker — DO YOU USE IT?

Amidst all the uncertainty that the finale left us with, at least we can see Ai find herself in a more confident place. She spends much of the series learning to stop running from her problems in the real world. Even after she gains confidence in the battles of her dreams, she struggles to face reality. It’s a huge step when she returns to school. Yet even in the very last episode, she opts to run away to a new school rather than cope with seeing Koito each day. But at last, she decides to take charge of her reality and try to reunite with her new best friend, Neiru. She’s wavered on her path, but ultimately, she’s grown. Although you could simultaneously argue that she’s failing to learn the lesson that rescuing Koito should’ve taught her...

“Ai Ohto is BACK!”

I don’t think any of us expected this finale to be a cliffhanger coming into it. And unfortunately, we don’t know if there will ever be another season or a movie or anything. Given how people reacted to this finale with such overt hate, I really don’t expect anything more. And I think that would be a goddamn shame. Even with a finale that doesn’t quite stick the landing, I still found it fascinating and engaging. The series is more than worth the trip for the characters, for the themes and topics it explores, and even for the fluid action scenes and music. And this is a series that was made by first-time writers and a first-time director! Yet I’d easily call it one of the best animes from the past couple of years. For total newcomers, that’s a goddamn TRIUMPH.

So I hope we reunite with these girls again. I hope Ai manages to get the band back together, find out exactly what’s going on with Neiru, and face down Frill. Even if they never wind up in some ultimate battle with Thanatos, I don’t know that that’s the point. All of us are in a battle with Thanatos every single day, after all. They just need to show how they’ve all gotten stronger together and truly overcome the “Temptation of Death” by beating back Frill (and her ridiculously powerful dreamworld bug-people) as a unit.

But maybe that’s too obvious and simplistic of a message for a show like this one. Maybe this complex ending centered on the main protagonist’s self-actualization and the value of fleeing relationships is more in keeping with the melancholy nature of the series.

... I still really want to see the more obvious happy ending, though. I think they deserve it.

#wonder egg priority #ai ohto #wep #anime #anime reviews #wonder egg special episode #wonder egg priority special episode #wonder egg priority finale #wonder egg finale #wonder egg

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buddydollysims2 · 2 years

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📌 pinned post! pinned post! 📌

this should be everything you might need to know about me / this blog.

HIATUS NOTICE: I haven’t been super active on tumblr lately, and I have forgotten most of the minimal coding I learned to make my blog pretty. I can’t seem to find the time to fix my blog theme (buttons are broken), so I do apologize for that. If you’re on desktop you’ll just have to manually navigate through the pages using the url bar. ): sorry! also, I barely check my activity tab anymore so if you happen to tag me in a post, please send it to my DMs here too so when I do hop on I see it! thanks and sorry again for the mess! xoxo — okay that’s all ♥

quick rundown:

♦ buddy / dolly ♦ she / they ♦ 26 ♦ aquarius ♦ creativity or pleasure × knowledge ♦

💚 my non-sims sideblog is @buddydolly; I don’t typically follow non-sims blogs, as this is my main blog, and I like to try to stay on topic here. you may occasionally see non-sims posts here though, especially if they’re about aliens. 💚

⚠️ I cuss a lot. 🔞 this blog is not intended for minors.

♦ I reblog a lot of cc, and I'm considering making a separate cc blog, but until then, here’s my incomplete directory page. you're probably better off just scrolling through and seeing if you like anything though, because I’m very disorganized at the moment and haven’t been keeping up with my tags.

disclaimer:

This blog is not endorsed by or affiliated with Electronic Arts, or its licensors. Trademarks are the property of their respective owners. Game content and materials © Electronic Arts Inc. All rights reserved.

projects:

I have a lot of sims-related projects going on at any given time, but I'm also very lazy, so here's a list of what I'm up to/intend to do eventually:

♦ screenshots / rename all my screenshots and download some content to make my game a little more photogenic. (bucket blue night skies anyone?)

♦ blog / fix my tags and pages, which are basically useless at the moment. possibly make a sideblog to reblog cc.

♦ exchange / cull through and upload my old TS2 exchange downloads so others may enjoy them. (I haven't forgotten about you, @caramelsmiles12!)

♦ archive / maintain an archive of TS2 custom content from creators who are no longer active, so that if someone is looking for that content, I can give them a link to it, complete with descriptions and preview images.

♦ mediafryer project / last year I helped archive some content that was in danger of being deleted by mediafire. some of it is available through this spreadsheet, which is a good resource if you know what you're looking for. (related to the above bullet point, I plan to re-upload this content again later in a more accessible way. I just don't have the time or the spoons to go through it right now.)

♦ downloads / empty my downloads folder and start from scratch, pick new defaults, and be a lot more selective about the cc I keep in my game.

♦ gameplay / start sharing my screenshots again after I make my game a little more photogenic.

♦ my own cc / make and upload my own wall and floor recolors + hair color actions and recolors. (this project is still in its literal infancy; do not ask me for actions, I'm still experimenting with colors and haven't made them yet.) also face templates??? eventually???

#pinned post #buddydollysims2 #about me

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nightfrostshadow · 3 years

Text

A Cage Of Moonlight And Magic

Ahhh guess what?! I collaborated with the wonderful @amethystpath-writes ! :D <3 It was so much fun to write this together ahaha it was a wonderful experience and especially the fact that the first collab I did was with you is amazing ! My first friend on Tumblr :’) :D <3

This has a continuation - Part 2

***

“Listen to me carefully,” Supervillain held Villain’s chin, slid his hand so casually near his circus pet’s neck- his throat. “Those water and ice crystals are not yours at all. They are mine, you hear me? They are the audience’s. You exist only to provide entertainment, to provide glory. But you are neither of these things without your powers.” He stepped back, peering at his subject with a glimmer in his eyes.

“I’ll kill you,” Villain promised. “Someday when you least expect it, I will do it.” He’d said this before, many times- with many bouts of frustration, confidence, and determination.

Supervillain laughed. “With water?”

“Haven’t you ever heard of being swept away by a current?” For once, Villain allowed a smile to curve upon his lips. Something wicked enraptured his thoughts- more than just murder; it was torture. “When the water is so fast, so strong, that your head never breaks surface ever again. You drown.”

The hand near Villain’s throat faltered, but ultimately tightened. “Don’t forget who you are speaking to.” And that was the end of that.

***

“I think it’s fun,” Hero said, “when the little kids’ faces curve into shining smiles. And the adults, too. I wonder how many grandparents have made our show their last one. What an honour, isn’t it, Villain? That we may be the last magic someone sees?”

Villain who had been gloomily forming a little water tornado in his palm looked up at Hero. “Absolutely not,” he scoffed, and the swirling water fell to the ground.

“Does it not bother you that we are nothing but tools to Supervillain?” Villain asked. “Meant to forever use our powers in such a pathetic way, to entertain people? Would you not rather be the one in power of your own life? To live free…free to do whatever we want with our powers instead of what Supervillain wants!” What a magnificent fantasy Villain let reel in his mind.

He shifted his body, knees dragging in the dirt- in his bed. “I’m reduced to having to put up waterwork shows. Waterworks can you believe it? Out of all the things I can do?”

A spritz of water in Hero’s direction. “And you.” He waited for Hero to meet his eyes. “With your stars and fireworks…you could do so much more. We could do so much more, Hero. Yet here we are, the famous opening act for Supervillain.”

Hero pondered over this as she thoughtfully looked down at her own hands, making little stars and sparkles erupt from her fingers, thus illuminating the surroundings. Such a great contrast to the darkening sky, she thought before answering Villain. “We bring light to the people watching, you know?” Literally, in Hero’s case.

“You could bring heat to them as well.” Villain was watching the little sparks in his co-worker’s hands as she’d spoken. Darkly, he thought, She could set the world ablaze if she wished. “Don’t you understand that we are animals to them? They think we are tamed.” He expected a response- anything besides Hero’s plain face. “That fact doesn’t bother you at all?” Villain’s voice pitched, incredulous.

Hero smiled slightly as she sent out a shower of sparkles raining down on them with a flick of her fingers and met Villain’s eyes as she spoke “I try not to think about it, you know? I just think of the good in every situation. It helps me be happy and peaceful. Besides, we’ve been here long enough; it’s not like we can leave so I just find the wonder in everything we do…it warms my heart to see the joy in people’s eyes as they watch us perform. You should try it, too, Villain.” She looked at him earnestly.

Villain stared at her in disbelief as he smiled bitterly,” There is nothing that can warm my heart here. Looking at the joy in peoples’ eyes as they don’t even care about us? Looking at them angers me even more. All they care about is watching the magic show in front of them. What has there been for us to celebrate in these past years?” Villain took a deep breath. “Nothing. I haven’t felt happiness in ages, Hero…and my heart?” He formed ice at the tips of his fingers as if to demonstrate- “It’s frozen.”

He sighed as he laid down on his bed- if you could even call it that. Once again he longed for the blanket he desperately needed, yet was never given on the cold winter nights.

***

“Up and at them, monsters.” Supervillain casted his light throughout the tent room, illuminating every square inch, every shadow hiding in every nook and cranny. He seemed to ignore his own monstrous ability.

Perhaps moonlight wasn’t such a devious subject to some, but to the magis, it was the cruellest of all magics- a searing light close to a large pane of lasers. The light hurt. And Supervillain was fond of using it every day, using it to wake his subjects up, to force them into the confines of a life hardly worth living. A circus like what they performed was better than the pain, but the pain was inescapable.

“We have a big show tonight. Some very esteemed guests will be making an appearance. You will all be expected to put on your best performance.”

As eyes creeped open, and quiet gasps and shouts of pain sounded around the dirt room, Supervillain’s lips curved into a bow. He did love the sounds and movements they made under his power- something incapable of being shown to an audience, per say, but something most definitely to be used behind closed curtains. He was thankful there was no expected sizzle to come from the burning skin of his subjects. The audience might hear that, and then what would his show be?

Villain rolled over onto his stomach, pushing himself up onto his knees and collapsing in on himself to form a ball. The moonlight burned, as usual, but it was worse on this late night. He felt the light in all places, even those not accessible- hence the tight position he held himself in, a form of self-defence. Moonlight poured between his lips, filling his mouth in a pain that could only be expressed through blood-curdling screams.

Knowing Supervillain and his antics, Villain had the sense to guard the sounds he made in a self-made bubble. Should anyone outside this room hear his screams, they would become concerned; they might try to break into the performers’ room. Supervillain would do worse than let the moonlight flow inside Villain’s body, then.

“It feels like drowning, doesn’t it?” Supervillain asked, so suddenly knelt on the ground beside Villain’s bubble of muteness. “Do you regret your words from yesterday yet? Will you behave today?”

As experimental as Villain was with his powers, he never once tried to purposefully experience the feeling of drowning. Right now, though, he could imagine this burning inside his body must be what it felt like to breathe in water. He didn’t have gills despite many people’s beliefs. He knew the feeling of water shooting up one’s nose, of coughing and gagging on it with the ever-present idea of never breathing again. Water was scary, even he would admit.

It was in this moment that his bubble fell. Villain swallowed his screams, clenching every muscle in his body to prevent the sounds of continued pain. “I’m sorry,” he managed to say, if only to stop Supervillain’s act of revenge. “Won’t- won’t threaten you again.” But, of course, he would. The fight, the defiance, was in his blood.

Esteemed guests, he said? Villain focused on his thoughts as the moonlight slowly escaped his body. I’ll be sure to give them a show, then.

***

It hadn’t taken long for Hero’s eyes to widen with surprise as she’d watched Supervillain slowly stride on over to Villain with a look of admiration in his eyes. Meanwhile, Villain had been writhing in what was undoubtedly pain. She could just barely hear his agonized screams through the water he trapped himself in. It was as if she had been listening to him beneath the water surface of a pool- goodness she missed those. Her jaw, which had apparently been opened, snapped shut in a desperate moment to withhold an empathetic cry.

Hero thought back on the conversation she shared with Villain earlier that morning- about how horrible this life was.

Yes. Yes, she could agree that certain aspects of it weren’t preferable, but…well, Villain did this to himself, didn’t he? He pushed and prodded- he poked the bear if you would. Albeit horrible, Villain’s treatment was somewhat deserved.

This didn’t mean that Hero didn’t find the treatment absolutely gut-wrenching. Sometimes she had nightmares about the same pain coursing throughout her own body. Fortunately, they were dreams and she only knew the pain existed within them because of her unconscious hollers.

Either way, Hero knew she could never exist in that amount of pain. She might very well pass out, and then what use would she be to the show? What use would she be to herself? Those bright, smiling faces in the audiences warmed her in a way her powers never could. They kept her going. They kept her alive.

So, she would withstand those slight waves of pain every day. She would endure because any alternative was too frightening, too dooming.

“Five minutes!” Supervillain announced, and with that, he stepped out, flaps of the tent room snapping shut behind him.

Not wasting a moment, Hero crawled over to Villain, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. “You’re okay?”

His response was a glare. He shrugged her off. “Get ready,” he said simply. “We have a great show tonight and little time to prepare.”

What Hero didn’t see was the vengeance pooling in Villain’s stomach, much like the moonlight Supervillain had placed there just a minute ago.

***

Villain smirked as he stood in position with Hero, ready to open the show, waiting for the curtains to rise. In three, two…

The curtain rose and as the audience stared, no doubt waiting, excited to see what the show had in store for them, the cue was given and Hero prepared to do her part, hands twirling with both anticipation and preparation.

Watching Villain, she faltered, one hand clumsily colliding with the other…all because she noticed something unordinary. Villain was not performing with her, and he had a look in his eyes, a- a gleam which Hero had never seen before. This can’t be good. Not only did Villain have such a mischievous glimmer, but he had not moved from his initial position.

With eyes now closed, Villain summoned all the water he could. Opening them once again, he sent his arms forward- a fast motion which released wave upon wave, crashing into the audience.

He laughed darkly as he sprinkled a whirlpool here, a current there, and a water tornado- which served as an escape, a path of destruction that cleared the way of all the chairs, as well as the audience members themselves.

Just as Hero had faltered before, Villain did in that very moment- a familiar pain blossoming in his body. He gritted his teeth.

Supervillain had begun fighting him more quickly than expected. Clearly, the waves that had engulfed him, therefore knocking him over, and the shards of ice Villain had aimed towards his chest, hadn’t been enough.

But he couldn’t stop clearing the path- the only path that could ensure him life- ensure him freedom. His motivation to succeed tonight enraptured his every move…because if he failed…well…he didn’t want to think of the consequences.

The adrenaline which Villain possessed now helped him more easily bear the once excruciating pain. Now, it was only a dull throb, a throb that allowed Villain to continue concentrating on clearing the path of obstacles, for anyone in his way would regret it.

Villain’s body ached, having never spent so much energy on his powers. Especially not at the same time as Supervillain using his own powers so strongly against him.

Struggling to hold on as he started to feel the pain sharper than ever, Villain focused on the path- his salvation- ahead. Supervillain was no match for the determination manifesting in Villain’s veins.

***

Hero was lost in the literal sea of madness. A part of her was grateful to only feel the sprinkle of swirling water around her, yet another quaked at the sight before her- of the people she so graciously served being tossed like ragdolls.

What was worse: the sight of Villain captured in his cage of moonlight, or seeing the audience so helplessly being…being drowned? For once, she decided on the latter. Hero never imagined a day would pass that Supervillain’s power wasn’t the most terrifying thing in existence. Seeing what Villain did now, though? It was horrible- excruciating.

On another hand…Hero understood. Villain endured so much pain, so often, who else wouldn’t lose their mind- wouldn’t wreak havoc if it meant being free of the torture? Clearly, this life wasn’t meant for him. And he was stubborn enough that fighting for such freedom was all he’d ever know.

Seeing as Supervillain was just as strong-willed, he’d never stop torturing- never stop trying to break Villain. Making an escape was Villain’s greatest hope.

Who was Hero to try and stop him?

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luminous-studiess · 3 years

Note

Ummm so I'm new to tumblr so don't judge if I did something wrong.Ummm how can I be like you? Like you know? Productive and smart.I always push myself but ended up being distracted by things (I have adhd and depression).I can't even remember anything after.I suffer,and continue suffering, from my mental illnesses.I just can't keep myself on track.My family makes fun of me for trying.I'm actually trying to find a part time job here but nothing hires minors.Idk please help meee.

hi, friend! answer under the cut because this will be long.

please know you’re doing nothing wrong, and that the fact you keep trying to become better and to push yourself to always get things done despite difficult circumstances already shows that you ARE already productive and smart.

second, it also helped me when i was struggling very heavily last year to learn two things: 1) there will always be particularly bad days when you live with mental illness, but all the little efforts you take, it slowly does get less difficult. getting better does not mean completely getting rid of all the symptoms you experience, but mostly just learning the best ways and small, gentle things you can do for yourself to manage your condition. this really requires a gentle but firm balance between pushing yourself to do the things you absolutely need to do, but also knowing when what level of work/school/self-care or hobbies is the limit, so that you don’t get too overwhelmed. this means most of the time, you don’t have to worry about being productive for its own sake. it helps me when i feel like i’m drowning to know how little i can do/the most non-negotiable bare minimum, that still helps me not to fall behind.

^ this is a small, cheap pad of sticky notes i carry with me throughout my entire day. it’s only big enough so that i can only write a few school tasks/personal things i need to do/chores, which helps me evaluate what exactly i can only get done, especially on days where i don’t feel well. checking off absolutely everything on my tiny list makes me feel like i’ve accomplished a lot, because i i have-- they aren’t necessarily a lot of tasks, but they’re the ones that i know really do need to get done. it also helps me focus when i have a lot of nervous energy, and have a panicked sense of “so many things need to get done!!!?” because i can give myself a bit of time to sit down, maybe turn on an episode of a show i like or make some coffee, and write down my tasks. it really helps me with the faint, tiny guilt and dread i used to feel day by day that i was being unproductive or lazy, because now i know i’ve fulfilled all my obligations to myself (everything from doing laundry, to making dinner) and to other people (schoolwork and other tasks). it’s okay to move at the pace that’s only possible for you right now. it’s better to feel comfortable with the smallest things you can do, and build on that as the days come. 2) getting distracted is normal, given Everything Happening Right Now, plus with a mental health condition that makes it hard to focus. it can also be hard to remember things when i study, because of my own health conditions, but i’ve found that the following things have helped: regarding distraction - use a small system that keeps you from accessing any distractions when you need to get something done. i try to leave my non-essential device in another room, and set up a timer-based blocker, to limit the websites i access. - i try to acknowledge the distractions as they come, and try to figure out why: am i hungry? am i tired? have i gotten enough sleep? do i need a break? if it isn’t anything serious, i just acknowledge that i’ve gone briefly off-track-- without guilt, without judgment. then i try to turn my mind back to the task at hand. - a good ambient playlist can make me feel more focused during hard tasks in the sense that i have some form of stimulation to keep the “itchiness” at bay. video game soundtracks and film soundtracks are also wonderful for long, tricky tasks. - sometimes i just have to start to feel motivated-- the focus actually comes in in the middle of the task. the fact of starting something may actually make you feel motivated.

- procrastinate productively: sometimes when i really don’t want to study i turn on a movie or a show and use the time to clean my room or fold laundry. my life still feels put-together, and i enjoyed myself! win-win.

- and sometimes i realize that focus may be impossible at the moment: take a break, go for a run, do something you like, take a nap. regarding learning and remembering things i used to have the worst time recalling things for school, until i prioritized two things: SLEEP, and not cramming. i used to get extremely poor grades in my first year of law school because i would put off studying at the last and latest moment-- a few days before exams, pulling all-nighters right up until the hour the exam started. i would also just use my free time to scroll on social media, instead of taking a nap or going to bed early. this was absolutely wrong. during the exam, i couldn’t recall anything because i was too tired, too frazzled, probably didn’t have breakfast, and because i had started and finished half a semester of reading in one night. my grades have gotten much better lately-- i’d like to think it’s because i’ve centered it around two things: (a) getting enough sleep every single night (helpful ESPECIALLY if you have health problems-- mental or physical), and (b) making exam day the least stressful it can be. how do i do this? - this means not only learning things for the exam, but also for classes on a daily period. you don’t have to study particularly hard, but you just have to study enough that you can understand what the professor is saying in class. set definite study hours every day, stop at a very specific and reasonable hour, and go to bed. try to get at least 6 hours of sleep. sleep helps me absorb everything better (idk science but this is from experience and also some very smart people i know ALSO prioritize getting sleep). wake up at a reasonable hour. - how to study: read the syllabus, and try to get a decent overview of all the topics you need to cover before you start testing/making flashcards/doing active recall (which is IMPORTANT bc this helps you actually train your brain to retrieve information). imho as someone low-energy i find that rewriting notes/making reviewers/making flashcards makes me very tired and leaves very little time for actual studying, so it just helps to test myself by looking at the syllabus and trying to explain the concept to myself, then peeking at the textbook or materials to see what i’m missing. mind-maps are also energy-efficient ways of figuring out how concepts fit together. - how to study for exams: the very latest you should start is a week ahead. two weeks ahead is ideal. map out how much information you need to re-learn from the syllabus. move slowly with the aim of finishing the coverage by the first week. the second is for reviewing and RESTING. - THE NIGHT BEFORE THE EXAM: do a final, gentle survey over the topics you may not understand. stop at 10 pm. go to sleep. - EXAM DAY: you’ve done the work. take the time to eat breakfast, test yourself SLOWLY AND GENTLY (avoid reading huge chunks of textbook at this point-- youll only confuse yourself), and set up your workspace to take the exam. crush said exam. as a final note: it can be hard to get things done when the people closest to you aren’t supportive. try to reach out on studyblr and find discord study with me servers, or study communities on reddit (they’re actually really nice), or with students in your class. if you need to talk, just dm me. you can do this friend, okay? take care always. gentler days will come.

#mental health support #mental health tips #student mental health #uni tips #college tips #study tips #how to study with a mental illness 2.0 i think???#studyblr #asks

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jumbojamba47 · 4 years

Audio

I Love You

Pt. 2 of Guest Room

A/N: Thank you for loving my little ball of garbage enough to warrant a second part. I’m feeling warm and fuzzy. Also... I kinda.. sorta.. really got carried away with this. I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry. Shout out to my irl friends who had to deal with my gleefully rubbing my grubby little paws together all day.

A/N PT. 2: TUMBLR QUIT BEING A BITCH AND JUST LET ME UPLOAD MY STORY IN PEACE PLEASE I’M BEGGING YOU. The last try uploaded to my main and my stomach dropped out of my ass lmao. Fifth and hopefully final time. (I’m so sorry for the notifications spam for everyone I tagged)

PAIRINGS: Natasha Romanoff x Reader, Stucky

Warnings: 18+, Angst (like so much I’m sorry), Smut, Swearing, Mentions of Alcohol Consumption

Word Count: 5702

Hollow. It’s the only way she can describe the feeling of deep-seated emptiness that settles in her as she watches the quinjet disappear in the distance. What’s that noise? She casts her eyes around her surroundings when she suddenly feels a dampness on her collarbone. Reaching up a hand, she feels moisture on her face.

Oh.

The sounds were coming from her. At the realization of her sobs, pain wracked her frame with nowhere to go.

What was she thinking?

She wasn’t.

When she left Clint in a hurry, she hadn’t even paused to consider what she would say to you if she caught you. What did she feel for you? What could she have told you? Her life conditioned her to believe love was for children. She wasn’t one.

And yet…

She couldn’t deny that there was something about you that always drew her in to you. Every hidden interaction with you pulled onto all five of her senses demanding her full attention until there was only you in front of her; drawn straight into your orbit like a moon of Saturn. Each and every private encounter made it more difficult for the hardened assassin to pull herself away from you only to act unaffected by your presence in public.

Was that love?

It doesn’t matter.

You were sunlight. You were the warm embrace of home calling out to every damaged member of this family seeking acceptance for their past sins and a place to belong.

And she?

Well, she was damaged beyond repair.

She refused to be the one to tarnish your light. And she knew, if she gave in to her weaknesses, you could never really shine. You meant too much to the team. To her. A part of her could also admit to fear. Fear of what would happen if she hurt you.

If you hurt her.

She could live with never knowing what it felt like to call you hers. To hear you whisper her name in the early morning light your sweet features the first things she lays eyes on in your shared haven.

But she knew. She’d never recover if she could have you and lose you. If she were to tear her walls down, only for you to look inside and decide it wasn’t worth it.

That she wasn’t worth it.

With a steely resolve in her eyes, Natasha turned on her heels and began to make her way back towards the gym. She had a few weeks to get her head screwed on straight. She’ll lock away and bury anything she might have felt for you if given the chance. When you’re back, she’ll apologize for the hurt she’s caused you and maybe, just maybe, you’ll let her stay a part of your life.

If, along the way, she refuses to let her mind wander to thoughts of you with someone else, well, that’s her prerogative.

xxxx

You sit in heavy silence on the quinjet. Thoughts of last night’s interactions with the red-headed assassin plaguing your mind. You still feel a pang of pain when you remember her rejection. With a mental shake of your head, you resolve to table your emotions for now to focus on the mission at hand.

You’ve been tasked with leading a team to infiltrate an underground drug trafficking ring disguised as a bi-monthly art auction. Once you arrive at your destination, you’ll be allotted two months of integration and data retrieval before another team of S.H.I.E.L.D. agents will be sent in to assist in the take down. You’re leading the team with Scarlet Witch and Falcon following your lead. Agent Hill was chosen to tag along strictly for backup and onsite supervision should the worst come to pass.

Sam and Maria sit up front; you can hear the sounds of quiet banter trickling back towards you while they try to respect your privacy, believing you to be mentally preparing yourself for the road up ahead. Wanda sits opposite you. Your emotions scream at her from across the jet, but she has the decency not to read your actual thoughts.

Still, she can’t help the concerned glances she sends your way.

Noticing her attention on you, you shift your body to turn towards her.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

“I could ask you the same. Where did you disappear to last night? I tried to find you after you were pulled away by Natasha, but I couldn’t find you.”

You let out a soft sigh.

“I’m sorry. My heads been a mess lately. I didn’t mean to leave you on the dance floor like that. It was a rough night.”

A hand rises to nervously play with the hair on the back of your neck. You look to the floor.

“I also owe you a bit of an apology for how carried away I got last night. You’re amazing Wan, and I don’t want to lead you on in any way.”

She lets out a light laugh.

“Don’t worry about it, draga mea. We were just two friends who had a little too much to drink, having a little fun. No hard feelings whatsoever.”

You wince and she instantly knows that was the wrong thing to say.

“You know, I’ve been told I’m a pretty good listener. Pietro used to say it’s because I had big ears when we were children.”

She reaches out a hand across the aisle to let it rest on your knee. After an internal debate, you decide to divulge everything to her. From your first interactions with the assassin and your instant connection to the fallout from last night.

Listening patiently, Wanda’s eyes widen slightly when you mention what the events that occurred in the ex-soviet’s room.

By the end, Wanda is livid with righteous indignation on your behalf.

“Well, she’s a fool for letting you go.” She squeezes your leg.

“I can’t claim to understand what’s going through her head, but you have to know her feelings aren’t a reflection on your worth. You are the glue that holds this team together and we all love you. Natasha, she…” she pauses, “she’s been through much. More than any of us will ever know. Her experiences have closed her off. But you’re both strong. Maybe you’re not meant to be, but I know you can bounce back from this. We have a few weeks before we’re due back and, in that time, I guarantee you we can get your spirit back up and bouncing like usual.”

“Damn right, we can!” You hear Sam interrupt from the front of the plane.

You release a breath you didn’t realize you were holding and let out a light laugh.

Yeah, things weren’t okay.

But maybe they will be.

xxxx

The mission goes off without a hitch and it does wonders for your confidence. As soon as you landed at the safehouse, you and your team had set to work securing the perimeter and preparing for your upcoming roles in the undercover mission. Sam moved first, infiltrating the ranks of the dealers as he uncovered the hierarchy of the operation and fed maria intel to pass on to headquarters. You and Wanda were posed as a wealthy young couple from new money, tasked with getting close to the heads of the drug ring in order to gain access to the final auction where you ultimately took down the entire operation with the aid of several agents.

Despite the smooth execution, you all still found yourselves with extra downtime between stakeouts and it led to the four of you growing closer. One of your favorite pastimes became group binge-watches of The Fairly Odd Parents and Wanda had taken to calling you Cosmo, the husband of her cartoon namesake.

“ETA: 5 minutes,” called out Hill.

From your seat, you could see the compound looming over the horizon. You take in a nervous breath and release.

Next to you, Wanda can feel your apprehensive tension and takes a moment to give your hand a firm squeeze.

“You’re okay, Cosmo. Remember our talks. You have strength. You know your worth. You’ll be fine.”

You send her a grateful smile and a nod. Your fingers squeeze her back briefly before you move to stand by the doors of the ramp as you hear the jet begin to touch down.

She’s right. During your time away, you came to terms with the fact that it’s not Natasha’s fault that she doesn’t feel the same way as you do. You know you have no control over other people’s feelings, and you owed it to the both of you to face this head on, maturely.

As soon as the jet’s ramp meets the floor of the hangar, you’re met with a wall of pure muscle that really should come with a warning label. Your feet are lifted off the ground and suddenly you’re swinging in circles. You laugh as Bucky’s long hair tickles your nose.

Wait a second.

Is that?

“James Buchanan Barnes. Put me down this instant.”

He stiffens. That’s his name. That’s who he is. He is James Buchanan Barnes. Former sergeant and integral member of the Howling Commandos. The Winter Soldier. Melted down and reforged by Hydra. He was a legend. He was a nightmare. He was feared. He was… terrified.

Christ. Hearing his full name falling out of your mouth in that tone never failed to instill the fear of God into him. Not even his ma, bless her soul, could quite measure up to the intimidating aura you exuded when he knew you were ready to tan his hide.

You stood before him, hands on your hips, feet shoulder width apart, stance strong, eyebrow peaked… and deadly.

“Did you break into my room and steal my hair mask… again?”

The others stand back, watching in amusement while he starts to sweat.

“D-doll, of course not! You explicitly told m-me your room was off limits while you were go-”

You cut him off as you step closer.

“Don’t you lie to me, Barnes,” your eyes narrow and he gulps when you push your face closer to his.

“I can smell the macadamia oil, you heathen.”

Just as you’re about to launch into a lecture about respecting other people’s belongings, you’re interrupted by the sound of Steve’s voice.

“You gotta admit, at least it’s better than smelling the greasy mop he always ends up with after training.”

Your entire demeanor lightens up as you whip around to take a running leap at your favorite Man with a Plan.

“STEVIE!”

He catches you in his arms. “Good to have you back, sugar. We missed you around here.”

You hear a soft exhale of relief come from behind you.

Tilting your head back from where you’re perched in Steve’s arms, you narrow your eyes at Bucky and make a silent gesture to indicate you’re watching him. This is far from over.

He gulps.

“Well, c’mon then, we’re all dying to hear how the mission went. The others are waiting for you in the lounge.”

You stay wrapped around your friend’s dorito shaped torso but make the effort to wriggle your way around him so you’re clinging to his back like an infant koala. He rolls his eyes but does nothing to deter you, choosing to move his arms in support of your legs instead.

“Onward, my trusty steed!” you giggle.

As one, you all make your way towards the main common area, taking the time to drop off your luggage in your respective rooms as you go. Eventually, you make your way to the lounge and as you’re carried in, F.R.I.D.A.Y. blasts the loud trumpets of a herald through her speakers.

Huh, Tony must’ve upgraded her sense of humor.

Greeting the others, you use your hands in Steve’s hair like an oversized rat with a penchant for cooking to guide him towards your favorite lounge chair. Sam and Wanda move towards the kitchen to look for the good snacks they couldn’t have undercover while everyone else gathers around the remaining lounges.

From the corner of your eye, you can see Natasha hovering off to the side near Clint but you can’t quite get yourself to make eye contact yet. You wait for everyone to settle in. Wanda approaches you with two mugs of tea in her hands offering you one with a “just the way you like it, Cosmo”. It’s punctuated with a wink and she perches herself on the arm of your seat, bringing her own around to rest across the back. Her hand finds its way to your hair playing with a few strands to keep you grounded while you purposefully train your eyes away from a certain side of the room.

Wanda really did become your rock in the weeks away. While you never repeated anything from the night of your party, you fell into an easy companionship with the young mutant that led to you each being comfortable around the other. She knew how hard your return would be for you and made it her next mission to make sure you knew you had a solid support system in place.

Seeing the close interaction between the two of you, Bucky and Steve both shoot you cheeky grins and eyebrow wiggles that have you holding up a throw pillow just under Wanda’s current line of sight. She glances down, smirks and hurls the pillow at the two men using her powers, ensuring she adds a boomerang effect to ricochet off the face of one in order to hit the other stunning both of them.

“Nice!” You give her an enthusiastic high five as she wiggles her fingers at the recovering men.

“I just learned that one on the job. I have to keep practicing for muscle memory.” She states in a faux haughty tone while you snicker at the indignation on your Brooklyn Boys’ faces.

Across the room, Natasha watches you. She knew she missed you while you were away, but nothing could have prepared her for the onslaught of emotions that crashed into her when she finally laid eyes on you after weeks apart. You still had the same mischievous spark in your eyes. Your nose still crinkled just the slightest bit when you laughed. Your smile could still light up an entire room like the Fourth of July.

God, she missed you.

She watches your raucous banter with the resident super-soldiers with a fond smile teasing the corners of her lips. She takes note of the casual arm slung across your shoulders, the hand tangled in your hair, and something inside of her burns. Her jaw clenches.

She’s not yours to have.

Clint nudges her shoulder with a pointed look. She realizes she’s been emitting a soft growl. Focus Romanoff! Where is your training? She strains but ultimately fixes her posture until she’s the posterchild for casual aloofness. Her best friend snickers but chooses not to comment on the slight rigidity he can see in her shoulders.

Tony claps his hands to gain everyone’s attention.

“Alright alright, Hermione’s new parlor tricks aside, we all know why we’re really here.”

In his best imitation of Fury’s gruff voice, he growls out, “Hill. Debrief report. Judgement on (y/hero/n)’s execution?”

Rolling her eyes but playing along, “All objectives executed to perfection. Leadership skills exemplary, sir!” she tosses in a mock salute.

It’s quiet before everyone breaks into cheers and congratulate you and your team on a successful job well done. You’re beaming when you hear Sam chime in with, “You better watch out Cap. (Y/l/n) could give you a run for your money as team captain. We might be shipping you to a retirement home sooner than we thought.

Your best friend grins at you with pride and mirth shining in his eyes and you feel warm inside.

“I think we could come to a truce and work together. Co-captain sound good to you doll?”

“I don’t think so Steve. I’ll leave the captaincy to you. I don’t think I could handle dragging the metal chicken wing over there back in line every day,” you respond with a laugh, sticking your tongue out at Sam. You draw out a squawk of offense and everyone bursts into laughter.

You turn your head slightly and find yourself making direct eye contact with the very same pair of vivid green eyes that still visit you in your dreams. You swallow down the rising emotions and offer her a small smile. She looks startled at first but relaxes slightly and gives you one of her own in return.

Maybe you could do this.

You spend a few more minutes catching up with the rest of the team, learning about what everyone has been up to while you were away. Checking the time, you slowly pull away from Wanda, who still has her weight resting on you, and announce that you’re going to head to your room to wash off and settle in before you have to fill out your mission reports.

Everyone bids you goodnight and you exit the room, walking the familiar pathway towards your own residence. Your ears pick up quiet footsteps behind you causing you to turn your head slightly.

A small sharp inhale escapes your lips. Your eyes betray you with a quick scan of her nervous form standing in front of you. Her hair is a little longer and the circles under her eyes are just the slightest shade darker. She still looks just as breathtaking as the day you walked out of her room. Her presence instantly brings you peace and you curse yourself under your breath.

Mentally slapping yourself, you plaster on a casual smile.

“Hey Nat. Been a while.”

You cringe.

Really? Been a while? Really?

She steps towards you, “Hi (y/n/n),” she responds softly.

“Listen I-”

“Can we-”

You both let out a nervous chuckle.

“Sorry. Go ahead, you first,” she says.

“Listen, Nat. I owe you an apology.”

She stills. What could you possibly have to apologize for? You’re not the one who broke the heart of the love of your life just because you had commitment issues.

Stop that. She’s not your love of anything.

She opens her mouth to interrupt but you press on.

“It wasn’t fair of me to try to push you into something you clearly weren’t comfortable with. You made it clear that you didn’t love me the way I loved you. I never wanted to make you feel like I would demand anything of you. You’re more than entitled to your own feelings and it wasn’t okay for me to project what I felt onto you.”

Frozen in place, her mind could only focus on two words.

Loved? Felt?

And didn’t that sting?

She can feel her throat start to constrict but she goes along with it.

Maybe it’s for the best.

“It’s okay (y/n/n). I understand where you came from and I’m partially to blame for letting things go on for as long as they did without taking your feelings into consideration.

“Friends?”

A small, okay large, part of her brain screamed in agony that this was wrong.

Instead, she smiles and nods opening her arms.

You gingerly step into her embrace, one arm comes up holding her shoulder while the other gently cups the back of her head in a familiar hold.

Her arms come up to wrap themselves around your middle, squeezing slightly.

If either of you noticed the other inhale just a little deeper, neither of you chose to comment.

xxxx

Several weeks go by and you’ve settled back into a familiar routine. Wanda has officially been adopted into you and your boys’ infamous trio and the brunette witch could often be seen joining in on your foolish antics around the compound. At first, the three made a pact to ensure you would never be exposed to prolonged periods of alone time with the woman who damaged your tender heart. Often times, you’d catch yourself alone with the assassin only for one of the others to immediately swoop in to whisk you away and drag you into some activity before you could draw each other into a prolonged conversation

It took you a few days to catch on to what your friends were doing. While the sentiment was greatly appreciated, you couldn’t miss the slight look of hurt that crossed Natasha’s face whenever you were pulled away from her. Eventually, you had to put your foot down, taking them aside one day. You told them that you loved them and appreciated their concern. But you’re an adult and you can handle your affairs well enough on your own.

They backed off but still continued to keep a wary lookout. They couldn’t help it. You were their favorite.

Your interactions with the devastatingly gorgeous avenger were still a little stunted and you both miss the longing stares you direct towards each other on occasion. Still, you’re getting better.

It still hurts sometimes but you’re okay as long as you still have her in your life. In any capacity.

You think you’re getting better. It stills hurts but you’re okay as long as you still have her in your life.

xxxx

You’re in the gym talking to Sam one afternoon as he spots you in the weights section while Natasha and Clint are sparring on the mats.

“The team’s decided to make an appearance at a new nightclub Aluminum Alloy Man bought out on a dare tonight. You in, sugar?”

You laugh at the latest nickname he’s given Stark but shake your head no.

“Sorry Sam but I’ve got a date.”

You hear a particularly loud grunt come from Clint and turn your head slightly to see Natasha apologizing while he’s doubled over catching his breath.

“Oh? Anyone we know?” He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively.

You roll your eyes.

“With myself, you dork. I’ve been dying to watch Monty Python and the Holy Grail and I finally have the downtime to sit through it. There’s a bottle of wine and a couch calling my name and I intend to capitalize.”

He laughs but nods understandingly.

“That’s fair. You good here? I better head out to get ready.”

“Yeah, yeah, you go ahead. Have fun tonight!” You wave him off wiping the sweat off the back of your neck with a damp towel.

“(Y/L/N)!” You hear your name called out from across the gym.

“Care to spar? Clint’s tapping out. He’s a wuss.”

You start to hesitate but choose to nod instead, stepping into the ring, setting your towel on the rope to dry.

You begin to circle one another assessing each other’s weaknesses. She makes the first move lashing out with a swift kick to your ankle, aiming to leave you off balance. You dodge out of the way and retaliate with a series of jabs towards her torso. This goes on for several minutes each of you landing several hits when Natasha launches herself off your bent knee, intending to use her signature thigh grip of death to bring you down.

Not today, Satan.

You bring your arms up, wedging them between your neck and her legs before she can get a grip. You latch onto her legs tightly before you swing her around your body, tackling her to the floor. You move your hand to cradle the back of her head to ensure it doesn’t smack into the ground, bringing yourself much closer to her body in the process.

You’re both panting heavily, stuck, mesmerized by the intense look in each other’s eyes. You have one leg between her thighs, knee pressed to her core, puffs of air intermingling between you.

Is she? Leaning towards you?

Oh, you definitely felt that wiggle of her hips against your knee.

You wet towel drops to the floor with a wet smack and just like that, the spell is broken.

You both scramble apart and you move to pick up the offending object.

Behind you, Natasha clears her throat sheepishly.

“So, I couldn’t help but overhear your big plans for tonight while you were talking to Wilson. Is there room for one more? I was actually planning to do the same, but I hear Monty Python is much funnier with good company.”

Everything inside of you screams that this is a terrible idea. But here’s the thing, you thrived off of terrible ideas.

“Sure, why not? We can start when everyone else heads out?”

Sure you would have declined, she brightens considerably and throws you a grin.

She starts walking backwards towards the door.

“Great! It’s a date! I mean- not a date-”

She smacks herself right into the door.

You let out a small laugh.

“I know what you meant.”

“Right. Yes. I’ll see you tonight!” She scurries out the door.

You stay standing there in the ring watching the space she just occupied.

On the other side of the door, Natasha leans heavily against the metal.

What have I gotten myself into?

xxxx

You bid goodbye to your friends and make sure to tell them to call you should they need anything. Once everyone is out the door, you turn around, inhale deeply, and set to work.

Despite everything, and your unfailing determination to not fall down the same rabbit hole, you can’t help but want to take care of Natasha in any capacity you can.

So, you take extra care to grab her favorite snacks, her go-to brand of wine, a couple glasses, and an oversized hoodie you always kept in the back of the closet, on hand just for her. She had a tendency to relax in thinner loungewear, but you knew once she settled in, she stubbornly refused to get up for anything no matter how cold she got.

As you set everything down on the coffee table in front of the oversized, plush couch in the center of the movie room, the beauty in question makes her way towards you in, surprise surprise, a thin tank top and shorts.

You roll your eyes but toss her your sweatshirt and she grins at you before hastily throwing it on, snuggling into the warmth. You both settle onto opposite sides of the couch, the wine and snacks split between you. The movie plays and you find yourselves relaxing. Like magnets, you eventually gravitate towards each other, sharing jokes and snacks, yelling at the large screen in front of you as the Black Knight stubbornly refuses to die.

Without realizing each other’s movements, she winds up leaning against you while your arm is wrapped around alternating between playing with her hair and rubbing soothing patterns across her shoulder and biceps.

You feel a shudder come from the deadly ball of fluff in your arms and only then do you realize your positions. You can’t bring yourself to move.

“Cold?”

“Yeah,” she nods. Attempting to burrow herself further into your clothes.

You pull her closer to you until her legs are resting over yours, head tucked under your chin, puffs of air tickling your sensitive neck.

Bad move (y/l/n).

You forget how to breathe. Natasha turns to look at you when she feels you still beneath her.

Oh. Oh god.

She didn’t realize how close she was to you and from this distance, she can see every detail of your ethereal beauty in the dim light of the movie lighting.

You turn your head to take a quick peak at her but suddenly you’re drowning in a sea of green. Your breath hitches when green is replaced by red and suddenly plump lips are crushing your own.

You moan and your hands scramble for purchase as the angel in your lap twists to straddle you. Fists tighten in your hair while she nips at your lower lip, close to drawing blood. She tugs at your shirt and you get the message. You desperately rip away your top while she follows suit before she pushes you onto your back spreading out on top of you.

A loud groan escapes your lips as the vixen in your arms finds the sensitive space right below your ear. Unwilling to be out done, you wrap your legs around her hips and gracefully flip yourselves over, trailing kisses down the crevice of her breasts, mapping your way down her body. Like Copernicus charting the stars. Reaching your destination, you pull apart the draw strings of her shorts with nothing but your teeth, earning a moan of approval from the writhing redhead. You smoothly slide back up her body, meeting her desperate lips in a searing kiss while your hand finds her center, already feeling the slick wetness ready for you. Natasha’s limbs fly to wrap around you as you set a steady pace pushing her closer and closer to the edge. Knowing she needs the extra push, your other hand moves to pull aside her bra before you deliver a harsh nip and a firm curl of your fingers.

She sees stars.

No.

She sees galaxies.

You continue to move, determined to prolong her pleasure for as long as possible.

You’re rewarded with the crack of her voice as she hurdles into the abyss.

“God, I fucking love you.”

It slips out of your mouth completely unbidden.

But it’s too late.

The damage can’t be undone.

Just like that, she snaps back to reality.

She hastily sits up. Your hand falls back into your lap as she quickly stands picking up her shirt.

“We can’t do this.”

“Natasha, I-”

“No.”

“Natasha, would you jus-”

“I said no!”

You feel like you’ve been here before.

She turns to make a hasty retreat, but you catch her hand in a tight grip before she can get too far.

“Why do you keep running from me? Am I so repulsive that the thought of being with me has you running for the hills?”

“Not everything is about you, (y/l/n),” she bites out.

Neither of you hear the team returning but all of them can hear the yelling coming from your direction and they run towards you.

“No. You always do this! Every time I think we’ve gotten to a good place; you freeze me out.”

“That’s the thing! We were in a good place! We were having fun. We had each other when we needed it and nothing more! We were so good like that. We can still be like that!”

Tears fill your eyes.

“It’s not enough.”

“Why can’t this be enough?!” she cries.

“This has to be enough,” she whispers looking at anything but you.

A hand moves to grip hers gently. The other rises to cup her chin to guide her eyes to yours.

“This could be so much more. Let me love you the way you deserve.”

Staring into your eyes, she can see you dying a little more inside the longer she stays silent.

She pulls away from you.

Okay.

You thought you could be fine with just floating in her orbit. Maybe you underestimated how long it would take for you to heal enough to allow it. Or maybe you couldn’t do this at all.

Your head tilts towards the floor. Your lips break into the softest, most heart-breaking smile she’s ever seen.

“I’m always going to love you Natasha Romanoff. But I owe it to the both of us to know this won’t be enough for me. This can’t be enough for me.”

A whimper is caught in her throat but she can’t bring herself to move when you step back away from her.

“I love you. I don’t want to,” you breathe out.

Natasha swears she hears something inside her shatter.

“I’m sorry I don’t give you the strength you need to pursue your own happiness. I really hope you find someone who does. All I’ve ever wanted was for you to be happy.”

You make me happy.

Just say it!

Her body screams in protest with every fiber of her being.

“Bye Tasha.”

You turn and only then do you realize that the two of you aren’t alone.

Wanda steps forward. She wraps her arms around your shoulders as she leads you away throwing a glare at the assassin.

Natasha takes a step in your direction.

“(Y/n) wait-”

She stopped by a metal arm blocking her way.

“Haven’t you done enough?” Bucky growls.

“And what do you know about what I’ve done?” She shoves him away.

“I know you hurt them! AGAIN!” he snarls, “You need to get your shit together before I’ll even THINK about letting you come anywhere NEAR (y/n) again, Romanoff.”

Her blood boils. She scoffs, “Big surprise, their guard dog immediately snaps to attention at the first sign of trouble. Tell me Barnes, does your master feed you well?”

She regrets her outburst immediately, but she’s too angry, too frustrated, too exhauseted to take it back.

“Don’t forget who trained you, Natalia,” comes out in a menacing hiss.

Frantically, Clint’s eyes snap from her to the ex-soldier advancing on her. He immediately steps between the two, placing a hand on her arm and turning towards the larger assassin.

“Whoa now, you know she didn’t mean that. Emotions are just running high right now. Let’s all take a step back. I could use a hand, Cap.”

Despite his own roiling emotions, he needs to maintain his professionalism as team captain, releasing a heavy puff of air, he moves to place a firm hand on Bucky’s shoulder, pulling him to his side.

“Clint’s right. We can’t do anything to fix this right now. Everyone, disperse. We’ll regroup in the morning.” He sends a piercing glare at the redhead.

Hearing another growl, Clint whips his head back around, “As entertaining as it would be to make a compound wide betting pool with Tony on a wwe rumble between you and two tag-teaming super soldiers, maybe we should take a second to cool off outside, yeah” he hisses at her.

Gritting her teeth, she nods, allowing Clint to pull her down the hall and out the door.

As she catches a glimpse of the hall leading to your room, all she can think is one thing.

She let you slip through her fingers… again.

Tagging some incredible people who expressed an interest in pt. 2:

guys im so fucking sorry this keeps showing up in your mentions.

@natasha-danvers , @thelastavenger-3000 , @ohfuckno , @imnotasuperhero

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha x reader #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff #black widow x reader #black widow imagine #black widow #guest room pt.2

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colourfullsims · 4 years

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LOVE ISLAND CHALLENGE: CASTING CALL

That’s right, you heard it here first - from the people who brought you Big Brother, we present yet another summer obsession: the Love Island Challenge! Has it only been about a month since I finished BB? Yep. Should I be taking on yet another huge project that will take a lot of planning and late nights of building storylines? Probably not. Am I still doing it? Hell yeah.

This will be quite the large casting call for what I have planned: I’ll be accepting 28 sims in total for this challenge! The game will begin with 10 initial sims entering the villa, with the remaining cast being released into the house in waves: as sims are eliminated, new players will enter the house in their place. About halfway through the game, the islanders will be met with their biggest test of the summer when we open Casa Amor, placing 12 sims from our cast pool into the game for a chance at love.

As always, I’m looking to have a diverse cast with lots of varying backgrounds and personalities. And while the original Love Island focuses primarily on straight couplings, I’m looking to break that here by accepting all sexualities! As long as your sim is a young single, looking to mingle, they’ve got a chance at love!

Great info to include in your submission is:

Basic Bio: Introduce your sim (name, age, traits, gender, sexuality, race, hometown, occupation, etc.)

Personality Type: Give me a general feel for your sim’s character (outgoing, shy, serious, goofy, friendly, mean, etc.)

Relationships Back at Home: Who are the most important people in your sims life? (parents, siblings, children, etc). All potential islanders should technically be single (so no secret marriage scenarios please lol), but if your sim has any ex-relationships or situationships they’d like to talk about, feel free to share!

Their Intentions: Though this is “Love Island” not everyone may be here for love; some islanders will be looking for “the one,” while others may just be looking for some fun, and there may even be some looking specifically to get that cash prize. What led your sim to apply to the show and how will your sim play the game?

Backstory and Random Facts: Anyone who’s familiar with my last challenge knows I’m a sucker for a good backstory! You can be as simple or detailed with this as you please: any extra info given about your sim will aid me in writing dialogue and creating storylines for the posts.

Please keep any CC used on your sim (besides skin details) limited to their everyday wear, and Maxis Match. I’ll be applying my preferred defaults (eyes, detailed feet, etc.) to the sims and dressing them with my CC catalogue to blend to my posting style. Dress all remaining categories with DLC (I have all packs except for MFPS so go crazy), that way I have a sense of their style!

Submissions will stay open until Saturday, June 27, 2020, 11:59PM EDT, or until I have enough submissions to begin. Make sure to tag me in your submission posts, and if I haven’t reblogged your post within a day, feel free to message me - sometimes Tumblr likes to eat my tag notifications. I’ll be placing the rules I’ll be following below the cut for anyone interested in seeing how I’ll be playing this challenge!

Thanks for reading and I hope to see some of your sims soon on Love Island!

RULES:

For the challenge I will be using a version of the rules that I’ve tweaked from Scarlet-V’s original Love Island Challenge rules as well as @everfallsims Love Island Challenge rules. I’m aiming at playing my challenge as close to how the show is done, so check out the rules below to get a feel for how this will go:

Coupling Up:

For my version of the challenge, coupling ceremonies will take place under a predetermined schedule (which I will release once the challenge begins), and will alternate by gender for who will be choosing each time - so if the girls are choosing during the first coupling, the boys will be choosing the next time.

Sims will choose who to couple up with one by one at the coupling ceremony, and order of choice will either be determined by random draw or by viewer vote, depending upon the stage of the game.

Sims will couple up based upon who they have the highest romance level with. In the case an islander is choosing between sims they have no romance level with yet, they must choose the sim with the highest friendship level.

The first two coupling ceremonies will be heterosexual pairings only (for logistical reasons) but after that point, all genders will be able to couple up with whoever they like.

Once a sim is chosen to couple up with, they are no longer an option to be chosen. Couplings remain until eliminations and recouplings.

Recouplings:

Recouplings will happen on a predetermined schedule (again, to be released when the challenge begins) and will be an opportunity for pre-existing couples to continue getting to know each other, or for islanders to pursue new relationships.

Any new islanders will get the first choice at the recouplings.

If an islander’s first choice has already been chosen by someone else, they’ll have to choose an islander they have the next highest relationship with. Consequently, if a sim’s first choice is stolen away by another sim, they will lose some relationship with each other. This could lead to some sims having negative relationships with each other (who doesn’t love a little drama lol).

Eliminations:

Eliminations will take place under a predetermined schedule (again, to be released when the challenge begins). There will be three different types of eliminations: single eliminations, couple eliminations, and bottom two eliminations.

Single eliminations will take place when there is an odd number of islanders inside the villa. On a recoupling night when this is the case, one of the villagers who is not picking for the night will be at risk for going home.

Couple eliminations will get rid of a full couple from the game, in order to start whittling down the numbers for our potential winners. These eliminations can happen at any recoupling ceremony, and the decision will rest on either the relationships of the islanders, or on a viewer vote.

Bottom two eliminations will get rid of the two least popular islanders, from the two couples that have the lowest relationship levels with one another. This can take place at any recoupling ceremony and the decision will rest on a viewer vote.

Challenges:

Challenges will be an opportunity for islanders to win dates with other islanders, which will be key to advancing their romance outside of the villa.

Between each coupling ceremony, the sims will participate in skill based challenges. In gameplay, the challenge winners will be based upon one in-game day’s worth of skill building, with the sim(s) with the highest skill level winning the prize for the day.

Because of this, all sims skills will be set to 0 at the beginning of this challenge to give everyone a fair shot, but you can still influence what challenges your sim will be good at through their traits!

Dates:

There will be several different kinds of dates that the islanders will have a chance to go on: speed dates, solo dates, and the hideaway.

Speed dates will take place the day that new islanders are introduced into the villa, allowing the new sims a chance to get a feel for who they might want to couple up with. Speed dates can (but might not always) lead to an opportunity for the new islanders to ask their favorite islanders on a solo date, to get to know them even better.

Solo dates are just what they sound like - one on one outings for two sims to get to know each other. Solo dates will be earned by winning challenges, winning a viewer vote, or catching the eye of a new islander. Also, solo dates are not limited to sims who are already partnered up - so this is the prime chance for sims to drive a wedge between a relationship and shoot their shot!

The Hideaway is the ultimate date to win in this game. This is a fancy, romantic suite located in the villa, which will only open several times throughout the game, and will only be accessible to one couple at a time for one night. In the Hideaway, everything goes, and it’s the prime chance for a couple to take their relationship to the next level. Islanders will have the opportunity to win a night inside the Hideaway either through winning a challenge or winning a viewer vote. Unlike speed dates and solo dates, this is only open for sims who are currently coupled up.

Casa Amor:

Halfway through the challenge, Casa Amor will open, giving the islanders even more opportunities to find love with someone new:

The remaining islanders will be split between the original villa and Casa Amor, and will meet 6 new islanders each, who they could potentially recouple with.

The islanders will participate in challenges, speed dates, and solo dates as usual as they get to know their new roommates.

After several days away from their current partners, the original islanders must decide whether they want to stay coupled up with their current partners, or if they want to be recoupled with one of the new islanders.

Any of the new islanders who are not chosen to be coupled with will be immediately eliminated. Any of the old islanders left single will be at risk of being eliminated.

Viewer Votes:

Throughout the challenge, viewers will get the opportunity to influence the game through a series of polls. Advantages that viewers will be able to deal out will include:

First pick at recouplings

Solo dates

Hideaway access

Viewer votes will also come into play when it comes time to start determining which players should stay in the game.

How to Win:

The challenge will continue until there are four couples remaining. Of those four, it will be down to a viewer vote which of the final pairings should win the $100,000 grand prize. As consolation prizes, the second and third place winners will win $50,000 and $25,000 dollars respectively (sorry fourth place lol).

After the winners are determined, the final test of whether this was true love will come in the form of the money envelopes. Both sims will receive an envelope each - one will have the cash prize inside, and the other will be empty. Whoever receives the envelope with the money will have to decide to either share the money with their partner or take the cash and run. This final decision will come down to a combination of storytelling and whether the sim ended up with a partner they loved more than anyone else in the villa.

And that’s it! I may tweak these rules slightly as I begin playing, especially once WW interactions come into play, but this should cover most of our bases for the time being. Let me know if you have any further questions, and I hope you’ll consider submitting a sim!

#ts4 #sims 4 #ts4 love island challenge #sims 4 love island challenge #love island challenge #sims 4 challenge #love island challenge casting call #casting call #sims of color #colourfullsims

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kumoriyami-xiuzhen · 3 years

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Hakuoki Yuugiroku 3 Fall Saito Story

managed to recover my first post of the year which seemed to have disappeared from tumblr via exporting it…

hope everyone had a safe and happy new year… recently hit 500 followers over the holidays so I’d like to say thanks for appreciating the stuff I’ve uploaded and my translations (I kinda feel the need to say this but: I am an adult who occasionally uses crude language so please be aware of that. Also, i don’t run an image-focused blog. i only wanted to post everything that I thought wasn’t available as clean images online so that people would be able to find and access more Hakuoki content… and i do believe i have done that for the most part).

Threw together a list of things that I hope translate this year into in one of my other posts today… here’s hoping that it will be less volatile than 2020… tho im not expecting much given the news yesterday though i can’t say that i didn’t expect it.

Anyway. translation. Story from the 3rd Yuugiroku game.

The CN of the title I have for this translates to the effect of “The fate/return/destination of (a) migratory bird(s),” which I think looks weird and I’m not sure how accurate that tl is, so I’m just going to categorize these stories by season and char lol. not that it’ll be any time soon before I go and translate another one of these since this did feel quite long…. and it’s not like anyone else is translating these (please someone translate these xD there are 2 side stories per route and i am not looking forward to torturing myself with them!).

also, a significant portion of the punctuation and stuff wasn’t used in the tl i found for this, so that will be reflected in this… will fix it later.

Hakuoki Yuugiroku 3 - Fall Saito Story

Translation by KumoriYami

That day I was delivering Hijikata-san’s message and came to Saito-san’s room.

Yukimura Chizuru: Saito-san, are you there?

[I] Called him from outside his door but he didn’t seem to hear me.

Did he go out?

But the other warriors clearly stated that he was in the room.

Using a slightly louder voice, I called again.

Yukimura Chizuru: Ah, Saito-san are you there?

Saito: Yukimura, is there something [you need]?

Yukimura Chizuru: Hijikata-san said that he had something to say to Saito-san so I was asked to get you.

Saito: Vice-commander? I see.

I got it/I understand I will go at once, you’ve worked hard, Yukimura. [I’ll check the game for punctuation later….probably?]

Yukimura: It’s rare, for Saito-san didn’t hear me calling you.

Saito: I was concentrating, [and] I didn’t hear your voice.

Yukimura: Concentrating? Was it on sword maintenance?

Saito: nn, more or less.

Yukimura: ．．．．．．？

It was rare for Saito-san to answer questions in such vague terms.

Saito: Isn’t (the) vice-commander calling me? I’ll hurry up.

Saito: You can go back.

Yukimura: I understand, then I’ll be going now.

I gently lowered my head and prepared to leave Saito-san’s side.

Yukimura:．．．．．．

His unusual mood made me feel a little worried.

Afterwards at dinner, there was a strange/unusual incident.

Saito-san who finished eating earlier than everyone else set down his chopsticks.

Heisuke: What’s wrong are you already full Hajime-kun?/Hajime-kun you’re already full?

Saito ……Nn.

Yukimura: There’s more of Saito-san’s favourite tofu.

Saito: I’ve had enough for now, I’ll be leaving first.

Leaving behind those words, Saito-san bought his plate into the kitchen.

Nagakura: What’s wrong with Saito? It’s simply unfathomable for him to only eat a small portion of tofu.

Harada: It doesn’t look like he’s feeling unwell, so maybe he secretly ate earlier?

Yukimura: What, Saito-san isn’t a person who would do something like that.

Toudou: Hajime-kun’s been acting weird lately. In the morning today, he went back to his room right after practice.

Nagakura: did he have a headache? Sano, did you ask him?

Harada: If he doesn’t want to say anything, then I can’t ask.

Nagakura: If this continues, perhaps something permanent might happen [gave up rewording for now lol].

Yukimura:．．．．．．

What was wrong with Saito-san?

Was something bothering him?

A few days later.

For the sake of mending the warriors’ uniforms, I went to the common room [tl is large main hall].

Chizuru: Ah, you’re here, Saito-san.

Saito: ! Yukimura——

Saito-san hid what he was holding behind him in a panic.

What was it?

It looked like a book.

Saito:……Will you be mending clothes here?

Yukimura: Yes, will this bother you?

Saito: No, it’s no bother.

Yukimura: Then I’ll be mending/sewing here.

I took out my needlework box and began mending the clothes.

Saito-san seemed to be hesitating about if he should stay or leave/ leaving or staying.

Yukimura: Um.

Saito: What?

Saito: Was Saito-san reading something just now?

Saito: Ah, um, nn, more or less.

Yukimura: Don’t mind me and continue reading.

Saito: But.

Yukimura: Am I bothering you?

Saito: No, but……

Saito-san looked very confused, after…

Saito: Yukimura.

Yukimura: What is it?

Saito: I hope you don’t tell anyone else that I was reading this book.

Yukimura: Don’t tell the others?

What was going on?

To actually not want any of the other warriors to know about this book.

Could it be that this book was on something, like assassination techniques, that shouldn’t be passed onto others?

I felt a bit uneasy.

Yukimura: I understand. I will never tell anyone else.

Saito: I believe you.

With a sharp glance at me, Saito-san began to read again.

The cover of the book looked badly worn.

Yukimura: Is that a manual on kenjutsu?

Saito: Yes, I happened to find it a few days ago, and took it to read. As a result, I’ve started reading this without stopping. If I have time, I’ll read. [reword later]

Yukimura: So it was like that.

That’s why Saito-san has been behaving strangely lately.

Yukimura: But why don’t you want to let the other warriors know?

There was no need to hide a swordsmanship manual.

Saito: That, because. The author of this book and I are not from the same school. Reading manuals from other styles is considered unethical.

Yukimura: I see.

I couldn’t help but laugh at such serious reasoning.

But, that truly was Saito-san’s style.

I started sewing again as Saito-san to read again.

We focused on our own things, and while we were in the same room, it however was natural for there to be no dialogue.

Retreating to the tranquility of the autumn night with only the sound of cicadas, [reword later] and the occasional sound of Saito-san turning a page.

Suddenly I was very interested in that sound and was looking in/looked in Saito-san’s direction.

Focused on reading, his entire posture was completely serious.

My heart felt happy just by looking at him, and I unconsciously smiled.

As a result, he noticed my staring, and while his gaze didn’t leave the book, he asked me a question.

Saito: What’s wrong? Is there something on my face?

Yukimura: No, Saito-san’s expression is very earnest/serious.

As a result, Saito-san tilted his head slightly, murmuring quietly.

Saito: So there’s nothing strange. I don’t understand what you’re thinking.

Yukimura: If I’ve upset you, I’m sorry.

Saito: I’m not upset.

Saito-san lightly sighed, adjusting the way he sat slightly.

Yukimura: Saito-san really loves kenjutsu.

Saito: I don’t have any other skills, but I do have some knowledge about kenjutsu/experience.

Yukimura: Ah, a talent/Oh my.

The conversation ended like this, and Saito-san once again began focusing on the manual.

From time to time, there was the sound of pages being turned.

The silence was soothing. I continued sewing the clothes.

A few days later.

I finished washing the clothes, and was about to head back into my room.

Nomura: Spare me, Saito-san. There’s no way we can defeat Saito-san./How could we beat Saito-san!

I saw Saito-san, Souma-kun and Nomura-kun practising with the blunt side of their swords [check jp mtl].

It looked like he was trying to put what he had read in that book a few days ago into practice.

Saito: A little bit more, just a bit more and I’ll have grasped it. One more time.

Souma: But we’re going on patrol next. Regardless of what is said, we can’t neglect our duties as members.

Saito: I’ll finish this as as [you?] obtain a point. There won’t be any problem.

Nomura: To quickly get a single point, what the hell is that! This is terrible.

Souma: But it’s pointless to continue like this…

As of the three of them talked, Nomura noticed me an started speaking with me.

Nomura: Ah, Yukimura-senpai, you’re just in time.

Yukimura: Ah, just in time for what?

Nomura: Why don’t you ask Yukimura-senpai to practise with you, Saito-san?

Saito: Ask Yukimura?

Yukimura: This, that’s not something I can do, there’s no way I can fight Saito-san.

Nomura: That doesn’t matter, we’re about the same [skill] level.

Yukimura: But…

Nomura: We have to go on patrol later, so please help us.

Souma: Nomura, don’t force Yukimura-senpai like this. Yukimura-senpai is also very busy.

Yukimura: ．．．．．．

Fighting against Saito-san will be incredibly difficult.

Yukimura: Saito-san, am I okay [acceptable?]?

Saito: Is that okay? Have you been instructed to do anything?

Yukimura: I’ve already finished with those things. However I don’t know if I’ll be of any use.

Saito: That is more than enough, thank you, Yukimura.

Yukimura: Not at all.

Nomura: The we’ll be going to work, so we’ll leave this to you, Yukimura-senpai!

Souma: Is this really okay, Senpai?

Yukimura: There aren’t a lot of opportunities to learn/This is a good opportunity to learn.

Souma: Then, we’ll be leaving/take our leave.

Yukimura: Okay. See you.

The two of them went directly back into headquarters to prepare for patrol.

Saito: Then, let us begin, Yukimura. Are you ready?

I took a stance a distance away from Saito-san, and held up my kodachi.

Yukimura: Please advise me. [well not sure what the JP equivalent of this is….]

Following the silence, my entire body was filled with a sense of tension [reword later].

After.

At the sound of my foot stepping forward, in a split second, Saito-san was facing me.

Chizuru: !

I hurriedly prepared myself, but he was faster than I was.

Yukimura: Ah!

My kodachi flew in an arc and landed on the ground.

Saito: Ippon.

Yukimura:……

Saito-san’s killing intent left me speechless.

Saito: As expected, knowledge acquired from reading needs to be tested in real combat.

As Saito-san spoke, he picked up my kodachi, which had fallen onto the ground, and handed it back to me.

I received it with trembling hands.

Yukimura: Thank you very much.

Saito-san became stronger again.

Saito: The fact remains that you have also improved, Yukimura.

Yukimura: Is that so……

Saito: Let’s return now. It’s about time to prepare dinner.

Yukimura: Yes!

Afterwards, Saito-san and I helped prepare dinner together.

—-end—

next week’s post is Saito’s 7th Ginsei no Shou chapter!

#hakuoki #hakuouki #hakuoki yuugiroku 3 #hakuoki game translation #Saito Hajime #Yukimura Chizuru #souma kazue #harada sanosuke #Toudou Heisuke #nagakura shinpachi #Nomura Risaburo

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oneblueumbrella · 4 years

Text

Thirty-minute Thursday

Howdy folks, in the interest of making sure I write on a regular basis, I’m starting Thirty-minute Thursday. The idea literally pulled me out of bed last night so I could scribble it down.

Basically: I grabbed a plot bunny, set my timer, and wrote for thirty minutes. I did one single pass edit, mostly for typos, and now I’m sending it out to you.

I hope to continue this each week, both to stretch my writing muscles and ease back into the tumblr-verse.

FORTUNE

PROMPT: "A beautiful, smart, and loving person will be coming into your life," the fortune cookie says to Greg. Greg laughs in the Chinese restaurant. He doesn't believe in those things... Two minutes later, Greg bumps into Mycroft Holmes…

Greg rolled his eyes, re-reading the words. Outwardly, he was pretty sure he looked as sceptical as anyone would, reading such a fortune. Nobody would know how much those words had hit home. If he was a believer in karma, or fate or whatever, it might spark hope. Instead, Greg knew both karma and fate were human constructs, designed to make some people feel better about themselves, or less responsible for their lives or something.

If karma was real, he had no idea what he’d done to deserve Karen. Clearly he’d pissed off someone, because even now she affected his life. He wouldn’t be standing in this dodgy Chinese, the last place still open near work on a Thursday night, closer to midnight than he’d care to admit. Overtime wouldn’t matter this much; he’d be able to afford some decent food, and without all the hours at work, he could cook it for himself.

But she took so much when she left – literally and figuratively – so he was the guy who took on plenty of overtime when it was available. Greg was pretty sure people thought he was a workaholic, or maybe just a boring lonely old guy. That was closer to the truth than he cared for. A broke, lonely old guy was more like it. He was only boring because there was no time for anything interesting anymore. A quiet pint sometimes, and the football if he was lucky, but otherwise, life had not ended up where he thought it would.

If only karma was real. Greg reckoned he’d done some good in his life, tried to help people, let little old ladies go ahead of him at the checkout. Sure, there were some stupid decisions when he was younger, but nobody was hurt by a teenage boy scribbling on a wall somewhere, or wearing truly terrible clothing, or listening to awful music. He’d be due something good by now, by his reckoning.

Smoothing the paper out, Greg read it again.

A beautiful, smart, and loving person will be coming into your life.

He’d thought all those things applied to Karen, when they met; now he knew better. Knew to look past the superficial to find beauty, past loud statements to find quiet intelligence. Had seen it in people he was too afraid to approach.

Right now, when he thought of beautiful and smart and loving, one figure rose in his mind, and nobody in the world would be able to guess who it was. He’d learned to read the quiet mannerisms, to see the subdued reactions to the world surrounding that astonishing man. More than Sherlock, Greg appreciated the understated gestures of love Mycroft Holmes showed his brother. The two of them were the most undemonstrative people Greg had ever met, and he often wondered what their childhood had been like, to produce adults so different and yet so similar. He’d never had the courage to ask either man.

“Here you go!” the cheery man behind the counter said, passing Greg his order.

“Thanks,” he said, cradling the thin bag. It was hot, but he made it out the door before he had to shuffle it to the other hand.

As he did, the fortune cookie paper slid from his grasp, and Greg automatically ducked to grab it. Something crashed into his head, or he crashed into it, and with disconcerting suddenness he was sitting on the ground, blinking, his head pounding and stars dancing across his vision.

“Shit,” he said finally, more out of shock than anything else. What the hell did he hit his head on? There was nothing in the middle of the footpath, surely?

“Are you hurt?”

The voice was familiar, and Greg froze. Surely not. Not here, at such a late hour. Not after the fortune cookie.

“I’m fine,” Greg said, scrambling up. “Hi, Mycroft.”

“Gregory,” came the response, along with a suppressed smile. “I apologise, I was reaching down to pick up your…”

“Fortune,” Greg said with a self-conscious smile.

“Ah,” Mycroft replied. “An important prediction, if you are so intent on keeping it?”

“Maybe,” Greg said with a smile. He closed his fist around the paper. “Right now I’m more interested in this, though.” He raised the bag containing his dinner.

“You have not yet eaten?” Mycroft asked, his eyebrows raised.

“It was a late one,” Greg agreed.

Mycroft hesitated. “Might I offer you a lift home?” he asked.

“Sure,” Greg said. He ignored the irrational beating of his heart at this. Mycroft had given him a lift before, and it was hardly the start of anything significant.

“I have often wondered,” Mycroft said when they were settled in his car, “why it is you take on quite so much overtime.”

The direct question made Greg blink. “I beg your pardon?” he asked blankly.

“I apologise,” Mycroft said. “Last time we spoke, you encouraged me to ask a question when I hesitated. I understood it was acceptable to do so.”

“Yeah,” Greg agreed. “I did. Sorry. Just tired.”

“Yes,” Mycroft replied. “Hence my question. I apologise if it is too personal.”

“Not at all,” Greg replied. He sighed. This was the point he could laugh it off, change the subject; Mycroft would certainly take his lead. But he was tired, and it was a legitimate question, and if he was being honest with himself, it would be nice to talk to someone that wasn’t taking his order – either at work or in the dodgy Chinese.

“I have to,” he said finally. At Mycroft’s raised eyebrow, he added, “My ex-wife cleaned me out. Pension’s only a few years off but it’s not enough to stay in London, so I’m trying to save as much as I can until then.”

Mycroft stared at him. “I see,” he replied finally.

Greg shrugged. “It’s alright,” he said. “My clearance rate’s pretty high with all the extra hours. Might even get a promotion before I retire. That’d make the pension a bit better.”

“Gregory,” Mycroft said, “Please allow me to offer you an assurance.” He drew a deep breath. “Should you ever lack for a place to live in London, I will gladly accommodate you. I have access to a number-”

“No, Mycroft,” Greg interrupted, feeling himself flush. “I mean, thanks, but it’s fine.”

“It is not,” Mycroft replied with a heat that surprised Greg. “To be left in such a situation is far from fine, and if I am in a position to rectify it, I would wish to do so.”

Greg stared for long enough that Mycroft eventually looked away. It was fairly dark, but Greg would bet money Mycroft was flushing.

“Why?” he asked. “Why would you offer that to someone?”

“Not to someone,” Mycroft corrected him. “To you.”

“Me?” Greg asked.

“Yes,” Mycroft replied simply, and to Greg’s astonishment his usually reserved face showed a range of emotion Greg was not even sure Mycroft even felt.

Holy shit.

“Oh,” Greg replied. He glanced out the window, blinking. “We’re at my place.”

Mycroft nodded. Greg’s heart pounded as he said, “Can I offer you a drink?”

“A drink?” Mycroft repeated.

“Or not,” Greg said. “A fortune, maybe.” He handed over the paper. “I think I’ve already got mine.”

Mycroft read the tiny words, his mouth dropping open at the implied meaning. When he looked back up at Greg, it was with a question clear in his eyes.

Greg nodded, heart in his mouth.

Mycroft returned the nod, swallowing hard as he followed Greg from the car.

+++

Five months later, the fortune sat framed in the entrance to a small, comfortable flat in central London, close to Westminster and Scotland Yard.

Five years after that, it adorned the bedside table of a cottage in a very tiny village an hour from central London, in which two very happy men had agreed to retire.

#mystrade #thirtyminutethursday #iamwriting

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jackalopesao3 · 4 years

Note

is it okay if i request a headcanon for the brothers with an MC that feels perpetually alone even if they’re constantly surrounded by some form of company? definitely projecting a lot here, but it’s how i’ve been feeling for the past month or two and i don’t know what to do with myself. i hope you’re having a nice day though

Hiya, anon! :3 Of course it's okay! 😊I think we're all feeling lonely lately given the current pandemic. I mean, I've been lonely way before that so if you ever need a friend, my askbox is always open! ❤️

I included the undateables in this too. Uhh so yeah, this got a little long! I'm so sorry I can't do a read more break! I'm on mobile and I've tried everything in my power to put one in but tumblr is a prick.

Headcanons for an MC who Feels Alone 💙

Lucifer

💙 Lucifer can understand how you feel. He keeps a lot of things to himself and deals with them alone. Even being with others, that burden weighs him down.

💙 Once he picks up on how you're feeling, he instantly understands.

💙 Lucifer takes his mind off of the loneliness by burying himself with work but he doesn't want that for you. Instead, he'll have you work on something fun with him such as learning a new musical instrument together or building something for your room or his study.

💙 Lucifer will also want to help you get to the bottom of why you're feeling this way. When you're comfortable, the two of you can talk about it. Just having someone to share those feelings with will help both of you. When you're starting to feel lonely again, he encourages you to seek him out and he'll do the same.

💙 If more help is needed, Lucifer will support you if you need to go to therapy. If you ask, he will accompany you to your sessions.

💙 He will check in on you to see how you're feeling.

💙 When you're with him, he'll put his hand over yours or his arm around your waist, giving your hand or waist a small squeeze to snap you out of your thoughts and remind you that he is here, right beside you.

Mammon

💛 Boy is a little dense so he may not pick up on it right away. One of his brothers may have to point it out to him.

💛 Once he realizes, he will be confused. Why would you feel lonely when you have the Great Mammon beside you?

💛 Nevertheless, boy will try his best to make you feel less alone.

💛 Mammon is already pretty clingy, being a tsundere. While it may make him blush, he will start holding your hand more when you're together. He'll give it a squeeze and tell you the Great Mammon is here for you.

💛 Mammon has a playful side and knows what good distractions are. Water gun battle outside? Drop a water balloon on Lucifer's head when he's coming home? He'll risk his older brother's anger if it makes you laugh.

💛 Mammon also loves games of tag. Being a demon, he's very fast so he will slow himself down for it to be fair. Just expect him to wrap you up in his arms for a sweet little kiss when he catches you though. He will also teach you how to gamble if you don't already know how. Want to hit up the casinos? He's your man!

💛 Mammon will also steal buy things he thinks will cheer you up.

💛 There have been a few times where Mammon has felt alone too. Like when his brothers continuously insult him and he has to get away from them. He'll listen to you as you talk to him about your feelings. He likes to lay in bed with you, holding you close while rubbing your back and presses he's lips to your forehead. He also encourages you to get help if you continue feeling this way.

Leviathan

🧡 He's a shut in so he will not notice right away. One of his brothers will have to let him know his Henry is feeling lonely.

🧡 Levi can understand. Those close to him don't share his interest in gaming and anime. This makes him feel alone, even when he's surrounded by others because he has no one to talk to about the latest anime or the new dlc for Mononoke Land.

🧡 He is so to know his Henry feels that way. It reminds him of the anime, "I Died and Went to the Celestial Realm but I have Nothing Incommon with the Angels and Now I Missed my Chance at Reincarnation." Leviathan will use what knowledge he has of that anime to help you by doing things that helped the protagonist feel less alone.

🧡 Video games are a great distraction when you're feeling lonely and it's even better when you have a player too. Levi will find the most immersive simulation for the two of you to play together. It will be its own little world for just the two of you.

🧡 Leviathan also has a swimming pool that only he has access to. He will let you use it if you'd like. Swimming helps distract him from negative thoughts and emotions. He's more than happy to swim with you. If you don't know how to swim, he will teach you.

🧡 He will talk to you about how you're feeling and try to help you feel less lonely. If you're still feeling that way, he will softly encourage you to get more help. He wants you to be happy.

🧡 Although he is pretty shy when it comes to physical touch, he lets you rest your head on his shoulder/chest/lap when you watch anime together. He may even stroke your hair. He'll even let you in his bathtub bed with him. Levi will definitely be a blushing mess at first so you'll need to be patient with this precious bean.

Satan

💚 Being how social he is, you would think that loneliness is not a feeling the avatar of wrath feels too often, however, due to the circumstances surrounding how he came to being, he is one to feel alone. Now this is something he normally buries. Satan has not once met another who was born in the way he was. There are things he wishes he could ask others that were born like him and it does frustrate and sadden him that he has no one to ask.

💚 Satan is one of the most observant of the brothers. Due to his immense knowledge, he can see that something is bothering you. Once he finds out how you feel, he frowns, going over his psychology books to see what he can do to help you.

💚 Satan likes to be mentally stimulated as it distracts from his own feelings. He will take you on dates where you put your thinking skills to use such as escape rooms, mystery murder parties, and interactive museums.

💚 If you have an artistic side, he'll take you to an art class or work on an art project with you. Satan knows that creating things helps to make you feel fulfilled and thus distracting from perpetual loneliness.

💚 He will also read to you and let you pick out the book. Please don't make the poor boy read Twilight though! Do you have a comfort drink? He'll make it for you. He will also take you to his favorite bookstore and buy you any book that you want.

💚 If he can't help you get to the root of your problem, he will support you in getting additional help.

💚 When with you, he'll likely put his arm around you or a hand on your thigh, giving you a soft squeeze or a pat to let you know he's here for you. When he pulls you in for a hug, he always kisses the top of your head. Satan will also let you rest your head on his lap or his shoulder while he reads. His hands always seem to end up in your hair, threading it gently.

Asmodeus

💗 Asmo is another one that despite being a social butterfly, he has moments of loneliness.

💗 "Oh sweetheart, I never knew you felt that way," he'd pull you into a hug, reassuring you that you'll never be alone as long as he's with you. Despite how much he likes to talk, he's also a good listener.

💗 If you like clubbing, he will take you to the best clubs and dance the night away with you.

💗 Asmodeus' way of dealing with unpleasant feelings is self care. He'll gladly paint your nails, do your hair, and try different face masks with you. Do you want a massage? He has plenty of relaxing massage oils that have nice scents like lavender and bergamot.

💗 Asmo will also treat you to something he normally only reserves for himself, his private bathroom. He'll let you pick out your choice of bath bombs, salts, and gels from his personal collection. If you're uncomfortable with him bathing with you, he will wait outside and give you all the time you need. If you don't mind him joining you, he'll respect your boundaries. If you're comfortable with him, he'll pull you onto his lap, washing you off lovingly and just enjoying the hot bath with you. He'll probably throw some flower petals in the bath tub and light some candles for some ambiance.

💗 Do you have a favorite flower? Asmo will put one on your nightstand every morning so you know you're the first thing on his mind when you wake up.

💗 He'll always encourage you to get the help you need should you need professional help to address your feelings. Getting help is a form of self-care.

💗 Asmodeus is not shy when it comes to affection. He's constantly lacing your fingers together or wrapping an arm around you. He likes to run circles on your skin with his thumbs while whispering praises and comforting words in your ear.

Beelzebub

❤️ Beel knows all too well what it's like to feel alone. After Lilith died he was devastated. When Lucifer locked Belphegor in the attic, Beelzebub couldn't take it. He began eating more and looking a lot less happy. He thought his twin was in the human world. He felt so alone without Belphie because Belphie knows Beel best.

❤️ When you came along, he was initially wary and just didn't want to connect with a human but as soon as he started hanging out with you, he noticed he didn't feel as sad and lonely. Being with you made him feel happy.

❤️ When he finds out how you feel, this boy will absolutely do everything in his power to help you. You helped him in so many ways and he will return the favor.

❤️ Beel is a good listener. He will listen to whatever's on your mind and try to find ways to help you based on what you tell him.

❤️ What's your favorite comfort food? Expect Beelzebub to surprise you with your favorites every day. You can expect to wake up to your favorite breakfast snack on your nightstand before you start your day. Your favorite meal? Beel will cook it for you as often as you'd like.

❤️ If you need to get out, Beel will take you to his favorite restaurants and help you to find your own favorite restaurant in the Devildom. Eventually, the staff will notice how often the two of you come in and will reserve a special booth for the two of you every time you stop by.

❤️ Beelzebub also likes to hit the gym. If you like to exercise, he'll bring you with him. He's the perfect exercise buddy. If you're too tired to exercise, he'll still invite you. He may even incorporate you into his weight training if you don't mind. Plus, you get to watch Beel workout! What better way to take your mind off things than looking at this eye-candy!

❤️ Beel knows when to encourage you to seek help. This sweet boy will help you take baby steps at first if that's what you need. He will gladly wait outside at your appointment so he can walk you home and take you out for dinner afterwards.

❤️ Whenever you need a hug, Beelzebub is more than happy to oblige. He gives the best hugs out of all his brothers. He'll pick you up and spin around if it makes you happy. If you're shorter than him, he'll pick you up for all the smooches you ask for. Even if you're taller than him, he still likes carrying you. You can sit on his lap when you're hanging out, he may blush if others are around but he likes how perfectly you fit there. Beel is the type to hold your hand and give you a quick peck on the cheek just to remind you that he's here for you.

Belphegor

💜 Belphegor suffers from survivor's guilt. He never told his brothers about how he felt so he knows what those feelings of perpetual loneliness, even when in a crowded room, feel like. He was also very lonely being locked up in that attic too.

💜 As soon as he realizes you're feeling this way, Belphegor will do everything in his power to help you. He doesn't want anyone else to feel that way, especially you.

💜 Belphie will talk to you about how you're feeling. He'll help you figure out why you're feeling that way. He has some coping mechanisms of his own which he will share with you. He makes sure you know to come to him as soon as you start feeling like that.

💜 Belphegor likes to stargaze. It helps take his mind off of his loneliness. He will bring you with him. If you two are apart, he will call you and ask you to look at the stars while he does the same so that you feel more connected.

💜 The boy has a sense of humor. If he sees you starting to frown he'll tickle you. Belphie uses his playfulness as a distraction and will pull you into pranks that he's plotting. He loves to hear your laugh.

💜 Despite being an introvert, when Belphegor does go out, he always invites you to come with him. He also plans dates for the two of you based on your interests.

💜 Cuddles, lots of cuddles. Belphie will wrap you up in his arm and legs, clinging to you. "I won't let you feel alone, MC." He likes to press his lips to your cheek press soft kisses against your skin. Sometimes he'll whisper compliments and reassuring words between each kiss.

💜 He may also call his twin over to join the cuddle pile if you're not opposed to it. He hopes that with you between him and Beel, that you start to feel less lonely. They both give amazing hugs.

💜 Belphie will check on you every day. He is very attentive to your needs. He likes to hold your hand, lacing your fingers together so you know he's there. He'll give your hand a gentle squeeze and when you look over at him, he'll have the warmest smile on his face. As soon as one of his brothers looks over though, expect him to drop the smile. That smile is just for you.

Bonus!

Diavolo

🔥 Diavolo may have others around him constantly with being a prince, but that doesn't stop him from feeling lonely from time to time. He wishes he could have the bonds that Lucifer and his brothers do with MC and with each other. Loneliness comes in many forms.

🔥 When he finds out how you're feeling, he'll ask you why you feel this way. If you don't know why, he'll try his best to help you figure it out.

🔥 He'll also be one of the first to encourage to get professional help. He has connections all throughout the Devildom so I'm sure he has connections to professionals.

🔥 He may not be able to counsel you himself but boy will take you out wherever you want to go for a distraction. Diavolo knows the best places in the Devildom and he'd be happy to show you around to all of them.

🔥 Speaking of distractions, Diavolo will invite you to take part in all of his shenanigans. He wants to make you laugh.

🔥 He will always make time in his schedule for you, no matter how busy he is. He will set aside time for you every day, even if it's only for a few minutes to just catch up and see how your day is going.

🔥 Diavolo is definitely the type to show affection in public. He will put his arm around you and hold your hand when you're together. His hugs are strong and warm. He will encourage to stay the night as he doesn't want to leave your side. Diavolo likes to be the big spoon when you cuddle.

Barbatos

⏳ Barbatos has most likely been around longer than most of the inhabitants of the Devildom. There were times in his life where he felt alone too.

⏳ Upon learning you're feeling perpetual loneliness he will offer advice he has used himself over the years. He'll teach you different coping mechanisms and figure out what would work best for you.

⏳ Despite being a very busy demon, Barbatos would invite you over to the castle, usually under the excuse of keeping him company while he works. He likes having you with him too and this is a way that he gets to spend more time with you.

⏳ Barbatos will also surprise you throughout the week with your favorite tea/hot beverage. How he manages to sneak into the House of Lamentation to leave it on your nightstand, no one really knows. He'll often place a freshly picked flower beside the tea cup too. This is how he lets you know he's thinking of you.

⏳ Being your s/o, Barb would naturally know everything about you through your conversations. When he loves someone, he learns all the little details. He would take you out to your favorite places in the Devildom and show you some new spots he knows you'll like. Distraction helps.

⏳ No matter how busy Barbatos may be, he will find time for you. You are also a priority in his life and he would bring you the moon if it were to make you happy and feel less lonely.

⏳ Barbatos likes to take you on walks through Diavolo's gardens. The two of you stroll arm and arm as he tells you all about the different types of plants. There are some very romantic spots where he'll have a picnic setup and waiting for you.

⏳ Barbatos will let you hold onto his arm whenever you're walking some place together. He'll compliment you and tuck strands of hair behind your ears or stroke your cheek. When no one else is around, he'll steal a few kisses. His lips are surprisingly soft. He'll whisper, "I am always here for you, YN. You have my heart."

⏳ Like the others, Barbatos knows when it's time to encourage you to get professional help. He'll take you to your appointments if you'd like. He's a super supportive boyfriend.

Solomon

✨ It's pretty safe to assume that Solomon is King Solomon. He's been around for quite some time himself. He mentions in later lessons that at one point he felt lost. He's bound to have felt alone at times in his life.

✨ Solomon is perceptive. He's quick to pick up on you not feeling like yourself. He'll likely take you out for a drink at a more quiet bar and ask you what's going on. Once he learns your feelings, he'll give you advice on what's helped him.

✨ Laughter is one of the best medicines. I fully support the HC that Solomon knows what memes are and is current on millennial/gen z humor. He will send you different memes and tiktoks throughout the day. He knows all your favorites. Expect him to quote a lot of vines. As soon as the brothers start fighting, as per usual, he will break out with, "Can I get a waffle?" You giggling. "Can I please get a waffle?" You burst out in laughter.

✨ Distraction. Would you like to go on a trip to the human world? Solomon will take you to places you've always wanted to see but never had the chance to visit. If you'd like to learn magic, Solomon will teach you what he knows. Sometimes learning new things can take your mind off of the negative emotions.

✨ Solomon will tell you that he'll always be there for you. He goes out of his way to check up on you between classes and in the evening. He'll stop by the House of Lamentation regularly to visit, avoiding Asmo as best he can.

✨ He will sleep over. Just make sure you lock your door as the brothers can get nosy and jelly. If you want to sleep over at Purgatory Hall, he's happy to let you spend the night with him there.

✨ Solomon isn't too shy about affection. He likes to snake an arm around you or hold your hand when you're in public. Sometimes he'll put his hand on your back and let it travel further down. He strikes me as a butt-slapper. Physical attention, is also his way of reminding you he's here. He'll also pull you away into abandon corridors for kisses and other activities.

✨ Solomon will also suggest you seek professional help if you're not feeling better. He's probably had to rely on some himself at one point or another.

Simeon

💫 Simeon has been alive for a long time and has probably felt this way himself at one point or another.

💫 He is quick to pick up on how you're feeling being empathetic. Angel boy will bring you back to his room to talk with you about it. He's patient and will listen to everything you tell him.

💫 Unlike the others, he's going to first tell you that it's okay to feel this way sometimes before teaching you coping mechanisms.

💫 Simeon will take you out on cute dates to help distract you from those negative feelings. He wants to make beautiful memories with you to remember whenever you are starting to feel the loneliness creep up.

💫 He's very reassuring and will make sure you know he is also there for you. Simeon likes to stroke your hair and the back of your neck when your by his side, telling you how angelic you look. He will hold your hand and pull you in for gentle hugs. This boy loves to give forehead kisses. You can also feel his lips smile against your skin after kissing you. He likes to cup your cheek and and look into your eyes when you're cuddling together, reassuring you that he will always be there.

💫 Simeon will also help you find professional help if you need it and will support you every step of the way.

Luke (platonic friendo)

🧁 Smol bean has probably felt like this before. He's pretty young compared to the other angels so probably doesn't relate to them as much as he'd like to.

🧁 Being an angel, Luke can pick up on the feelings of others. He's going to be shy about asking you about it though. Once he does, he'll comfort you as best he can.

🧁 Luke will definitely bake your favorite pastries for you. He'll probably have you come over to Purgatory Hall though, wouldn't want Beel to inhale them all before you get a chance to eat them.

🧁 Smol bean will encourage you to get professional help and come with you for moral support.

🧁 He may not visit much at the House of Lamentation because he doesn't want to be around the brothers, but he'll always check in on you via text and invite you to hang out with him and Simeon.

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