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pitchsidestories · 1 month

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To Rome with Love II Valentina Giacinti x Engen!Reader

masterlist I word count: 2083

a/n: based off this lovely request. Valentina is really underrated in our opinion . <3

The afternoon sun made the Italian pitch and the players which were on it appear golden.

It only seemed fitting because your team, the AS Roma was celebrating a big win with the home crowd when you heard a Norwegian voice you were all too familiar with: “Great game, big sister!”

“Ingrid!”, you shouted surprised, turning around, before jumping into the arms of your little sister.

“Hi.”, she beamed at you, while pulling you into a tight hug.

For a moment you closed your eyes letting the scent which smelt of home wash over you. “It’s so great to see you., you mumbled, behind her you spotted her girlfriend, so you added with a wide grin on your face, you too, Mapi.”

The defender laughed warmly: “Good to see you too.”

“Will you stay overnight? And do you want to join our team party later?”, with a hopeful tone you asked them.

Happily, Ingrid nodded:” Of course we do.”

“We never say no to a party.”, the tattooed Spanish woman continued mischievously smiling.

“Great, so I can finally introduce you to all my teammates.”, you hummed delighted.

Excited the midfielder clapped into her hands: ”Please.”

At night when the heat of the day was slowly cooling down, was the time when Rome, the ancient city really came alive. Buzzing from that glorious win the Roma team was meeting in a popular club and your teammates were eager to get to know your sister and her girlfriend.

The first who came up to the three of you was Manuela who talked not only through her mouth but vividly with her hands as well: “ So this is the more famous little Engen sister, nice to meet you!”

“That big mouth is Manuela.”, you introduced the Italian midfielder to your family, rolling playfully your eyes at her.

Politely Ingrid replied:” Nice to meet you, Manuela.”

“And you already know Emilie from our national team. Next to her is Laura, we both joined Roma last summer.”, you explained.

Mapi winked at the Austrian: ”Oh, we do know Laura already.”

“Why didn’t you take Keira with you, Mapi?”, Laura responded, throwing an eyebrow up.

The defender waved it off: “You know your girlfriend. She prefers to visit you alone.”

“Yes, okay, you’re right about that.”, Keira Walsh’s partner admitted, her smile growing bigger as she thought about the English Barcelona midfielder.

Meanwhile, Valentina who you didn’t saw coming until she wrapped her muscular arms around you, whispered a bit impatiently into your ear: “Don’t you want to introduce me to your sister too?”

You could feel your cheeks redden as you gestured towards Valentina; “Girls, this is Vale… Valentina.“

You noticed Ingrids curious glance in your direction but she only smiled politely at your teammate; “Nice to finally get to know you, Valentina. My sister said you really helped her settle in when she moved here.“

“To be fair, it wasn’t as hard as expected. She’s almost a full Italian now.“, Valentina replied with a laugh.

Offended, you raised your eyebrows at the real Italian; “Almost?!“

“Almost.“, she confirmed, smirking unimpressed about your remark.

Your sister interrupted the two of you, tilting her head with curiosity; “What is still Norwegian about her?“

Without missing a beat, Valentina answered; “The way she drinks her coffee.“

“I love to do kokekaffe while she just uses her beloved espresso machine.“, you rolled your eyes.

Nodding, your sister agreed; “Good coffee just takes time. I’m on your side on that.“

“I’m not.“, Mapi interjected with a shrug and an apologetic smile towards her girlfriend.

Valentinas interest was piqued; “Bet you love espresso too, Mapi.“

“I do. I love my moka pot for that. I even got it tattooed.“, the Spanish defender told her excitedly. She shrugged out of her cardigan and showed the tattoo on her bare arm to Valentina.

Her eyes glinted as she examined it; “Oh my god! I love it!“

Satisfied with the reaction, Mapi smiled; “It’s pretty cool, right?“

“Yes, it is.“

While they continued their conversation about coffee-themed tattoos, you felt Camelia impatiently drag on your arm; “Come on, time to dance!“

She took your hand in hers and led you to the dance floor. On the way, you waved over to your sister; “You too, Mapi and Ingrid!“

“We’re coming too!“, your sister yelled back.

You gave her thumbs-up; “Perfect!“

Mapi only grimaced at her girlfriend; “Dancing?“

“It’s fun, love.“, Ingrid replied and dragged Mapi along with her. You quickly lost them in the dancing crowd but you were distracted anyway by Valentinas hands on your hips and her mouth close to your ear; “You’ve danced with half of the team already. Now it’s my turn.“

“Do you still have energy for that, Vale?“, you smirked, turning towards her.

Valentinas eyes searched for yours in the dim light; “You’d be surprised by how much energy I still have.“

The rasp in her voice made you shiver for a second but you concealed it by smirking at her; “You can show it to me now and later.“

“Oh I will.“

Biting your lip, you changed the topic; “Let’s dance.“

“Sure.“, she shrugged, pulling you closer as you two started moving to the rhythm of the music.

A few meters away from you Ingrid asked her girlfriend interested:” Who do you think my sister is dating in her team. She hasn’t told me yet.”

“Oh, it’s pretty obvious.”, Mapi said with a mischievous smile lightening up her face.

Glancing at you dancing with her, your sister observed: “Definitely Valentina.”

“See.”, the defender agreed.

Twirling around the dance floor, Ingrid thought out loud:” Bet the whole team already knows about them.”

“Probably. I mean look at them.”, the Spanish woman pointed at your direction, where Valentina got suspiciously touchy for a teammate.

Your sister smiled as she confessed: “Valentina is taller than I thought.”

“I think she’s the perfect height for your sister.”, Mapi replied.

“Agreed.”

“It’s cute. But not as cute as we are.”, with these cheeky words out the older woman kissed the younger Norwegian.

“Of course not.”, Ingrid laughed.

Gingerly the defender apologized:” Sorry.”

You two have seen the girlfriends looking at you from across the dance floor, that’s why Valentina stated amused:” Your sister and her girlfriend are gossiping about us.”

“You’re right.”

The Italian looked at you in confusion:” I thought you didn’t tell your sister about us?”

“I didn’t.”, you quickly reassured her.

She exhaled deeply before offering:” Do you want to leave?”

“Yes.”, swiftly you went up to Ingrid and Mapi.

Clearing your throat, you wanted to know from them:” Will I see you two for breakfast tomorrow?”

“At your place?”, your sister asked.

“Yes.”

The Barcelona midfielder promised: “We’ll be there.”

“Can’t wait.”, you told them beaming.

Knowing how exhausting an important match day could be, Ingrid hugged you: “Good night, y/n.”

On the following day, the sunlight already graced your bed, you enjoyed the warmth on your skin and from your girlfriend who was laying next to you. She could already sense that you were awake too.

Besides being already more awake than you Valentina’s voice was still full of sleep:” Morning, beautiful.”

“Good morning.”, you mumbled, slowly opening your eyes, catching the sight of the sheepishly smiling Italian, like every morning since you two became a couple you softly kissed her lips.

After she replied to your kiss, the forward padded your thigh: “Time to get up.”

“Five more minutes in bed, please.”, you sighed dramatically.

Amused by your theatrics which was usually her job on and off the football pitch, Valentina gave in: ”Okay, fine.”

“Those mornings with you are my favourite part of the day.”, you confessed your head placed onto her chest.

You watched your girlfriends mouth turn into a slight smirk while she replied; “They are my least favourite part because soon I’ll have to share you again with the team.“

“Sorry. So you prefer the evenings?“, you chuckled.

Valentina tilted her head like she had to think about the answer; “I do. Although you look really cute after you woke up so you might convince me to like the mornings more.“

Lazily, you grinned up to her; “You look cuter with your curls all messed up.“

“Five minutes are over. Time to get going. I have to fix my hair.“, Valentina ended the conversation, carefully shoving you off her upper body and sitting up.

You were about to pout and convince her to stay in bed but your sisters voice echoing through your apartment startled you.

“Hi, we got the goods.“

Her voice was clearly coming from your kitchen and you could basically see them putting down a bag with delicious pastries on the table.

You exchanged a panicked look with Valentina; “Shit!“

Cursing under her breath, your girlfriend jumped out of your bed and sprinted to the adjacent bathroom; “You deal with them. I’ll be fixing my hair.“

“Okay, no problem.“, you replied while you slipped into your clothes and opened the bedroom door to greet Ingrid and Mapi; “Hi, lovelies!“

Your sister however seemed to look right through you. She raised her eyebrow; “Are we too early?“

You shook your head innocently; “No, you’re right on time. Do you want a cup of coffee?“

“Sure.“, Ingrid replied and sat down while you got to work.

You set four cups of coffee on the kitchen table; “Here you go.“

“Thank you.“, your sister smile while she wrapped her hands around the warm mug and breathed in the smell of the freshly brewed coffee.

You sat down next to her, taking a sip from your own mug; “You’re welcome.“

You barely even noticed Mapis disappearance from the kitchen until two simultaneous screams interrupted your peaceful morning. You and your sister immediately got up to see what had happened and found both of you girlfriends standing in the open bathroom door.

“Don’t scare me like that ever again!“, Mapi scolded but even she had to laugh about the situation.

Valentina grimaced; “Why would you even come into the bathroom?“

The Spanish defender shook her head; “Because I needed to use the toilet. Oh my poor heart.“ She theatrically put a hand to her chest.

“Have you ever heard of knocking?“, the Italian asked, rolling her eyes.

“I didn’t know you’d be here but I should have guessed you’re. You Italians are not subtle at all.“, Mapi grinned.

Valentina grimaced, more offended than confused; “Excuse me?!“

“We knew it straight away actually.“, Ingrid joined to discussion with a nonchalant shrug.

The Italian seemed surprised by your sisters observation skills:”How?”

“The way you talked about and danced with eachother.”, the defender answered promptly.

Slowly Valentina shook her head:” No one else in our team knows.”

“Oh, trust me they do, we asked Laura.”, Ingrid disagreed amused.

Thrown off by that your girlfriend asked: “Excuse me?”

“Laura told you that?”, you added equally confused.

Self-assured Ingrid nodded: “She did.”

“Oh wow.”, you mumbled.

To sum up the situation your sister concluded: “So they know. Everyone knows.”

“Why did you two kept it a secret anyway?”, Mapi lifted one eyebrow curiously while looking at both of you intensely waiting for a reply.

Turning red Valentina stated honestly:” We didn’t.”

“But you didn’t say anything either.”, Ingrid countered immediately, her face showing a little bit of disappointment that you didn’t share this important information about your life with her while she was willing to tell you everything straight away after it happened.

Trying to cheer her up you changed the topic to something more light-hearted in nature:” But now that all know, don’t you think it’s time for breakfast? Hopefully the coffee didn’t get too cold.”

“About time!”, Mapi grinned.

Smiling, you promised them:” No more waiting.”

And you meant it, it was no more waiting for the closest to show them who you fell in love with in Rome. When you joined the club in the summer it was Valentina who played the best tourist guide with you, showing you the beautiful sights of the capitol of Italy and the best restaurants in town. Life never tasted as good as in Rome.

Over a glass of wine, on a late summer’s evening, she asked you if you wanted to be her girlfriend, there was only one obvious answer to it.

Now, Valentina hugged you from behind, whispering hopeful into your ear:” That was quite an eventful start into the day I hope for a calmer evening.”

#valentina giacinti #valentina giacinti x reader #woso x reader #woso fanfics #woso imagine #woso #woso one shot #woso community #italy wnt #as roma women #ingrid engen #ingrid engen x reader #ingrid engen imagine #mapi leon #mapi leon x reader #mapi leon imagine #laura feiersinger #manuela giugliano #fcb femeni

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venusloverblue · 3 months

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Now I understand

Billy Hargrove x Reader

words count: 766

summary: You and Billy are dating, but you have doubts as to why he was interested in you.

warnings: fluff, fluff and fluff

a/n: Hii everyone, I bring you another one shot of Billy. I must say I'm not a fan, in fact I don't think I like what I wrote, but I upload it anyway because I like to be embarrassed. If you see any grammatical errors, don't be afraid to tell me, it helps me with my English. With that I say byeee.

The wind blowing in through the open window of the Camaro hits you in the face, and in the background you hear a rock song from a band that your boyfriend listens to. You don’t talk to each other, but that doesn’t make the atmosphere uncomfortable, in fact, the silences between you usually feel comfortable.

“Babe, there’s a party tonight at Tina’s house, I’m going with the guys, do you want me to pick you up and we can go together?”

Dating Billy, one of the most popular boys, brings that on. There’s always a party at night at one of the popular guys’ house. Ever since he came to Hawkins he became a high school sensation, all the boys wanted his friendship and all the girls wanted to have him in their beds, that part you always tried to ignore for their sake.

You still didn’t know how you had gotten someone like Billy interested in someone like you, a girl who tried to go as unnoticed as possible. You were not interested in being popular, the only thing you wanted was to have good grades so you could go to a good college with a full scholarship, that way you would not generate more expenses to your parents than they already had.

That’s why you never expected the bad boy to look for you all over school looking for a date because he was curious about you, at first you thought it was some kind of joke that was going to leave you in a bad light, with that in mind you decided to deny him that date causing Billy to look for every possible way to get your attention so he could get a date with you. To the surprise of many, he succeeded and took you on a date where he impressed you with how gentlemanly he was and made you rethink your opinion of him.

After several dates, he proposed if you wanted to be his girlfriend in his blue Camaro under a starry night getting you to say yes to his question.

“Love, are you there?” Billy’s voice pulls you out of your thoughts and brings you back to reality, where he asked you if you wanted to go to a party.

“Sorry, I was lost in my mind” You say to then answer the question he asked you at first. “I really don’t know Billy, next week I have a math test and you know I’m not very good at it.”

“I know, but this time you have to go to see me dethrone Harrigton from his throne.”

“Billy, you know how I feel about those things, they’re bullshit. Besides, I’ve already seen you dethrone Steve and the truth is that dragging you back to your car is not in my plans” With that the conversation ended because he had already parked at your house. You give him a kiss on the cheek and get out of the car, from his side there is no answer to your statement.

It is night time and you are in your room studying for your exam, you are listening to the music of David Bowie, one of your favorite artists. While you are about to turn pages in your study book you hear something knocking on your window, at first you think it’s some bird that crashed into your window, but after listening to it three more times you decide to see what it really was.

When you open the window you can’t believe what greets you, it’s Billy with his big smile, in his hand you could see some stones, with them he was trying to get your attention. You instantly went downstairs to open the back door of the kitchen, he comes in with a flirtatious smile that always left your legs shaking.

“What are you doing here? I thought you were going to Tina’s party to dethrone Steve” In your voice can be heard the surprise of finding him there at that moment.

“I planned to go, but with you. So here I am to have a fun night of study with my girl” He grabs your waist and brings his mouth to yours planting a kiss that causes the butterflies in your stomach to awaken.

At that moment you understood why Billy was interested in you, maybe others don’t understand it and it’s because they don’t feel it. When you kiss him the world around you disappears and you feel that Billy completes what you are missing. You assume he feels the same, so you keep kissing him.

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twig-tea · 3 months

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Lately I’ve been feeling like Thai bl is truly all over the place with so many shows airing at once and some of the best ones flying under the radar while discourse is focused on a couple of the big messy ones. I think you’re the only person I know who is actually watching ALL of them and has been here for the whole evolution of the genre, so I’m curious what stands out to you about this current moment. Do the shows feel different to you? Is the way fandom is interacting with them changing? And what are your current favs?

I ended up writing a thesis, sorry friend lol To be fair to me there are 3 questions in there, all of them meaty! I've done my best to give a sense of where I'm at with Thai BL and how it feels like it's changed over time.

Caveating all of this: I am just one fan who I'm sure has had specific experiences that will colour my opinion, also a lot of this is just vibes so I'm open to being told I've forgotten something major or misremembered what it was like! If you are reading this and your opinion or experience is different please share, with stuff like this I'm always interested in hearing about differing opinions because the fandom experience will depend at least partly on where you hang out. For years, my main fandom space for BL was the YouTube comments section (RIP me).

Overall feel

Honestly, things overall don't feel all that different to me in Thai BL in particular, even though I'm about to talk about a lot of changes and ways it actuallyd does feel very different below lol And after reflecting about it, I think it's because these things still feel very much in flux, in a way that they've felt in flux this entire time. Producers are still figuring out the best funding and distribution models and merch models to make money; creators are still calibrating how queer these shows can be and still be popular; actors are still figuring out how to do BGP (business gay performances) without having fans interfere in their private lives off the clock. Writers are still trying to figure out how to write 12-episode arcs that don't drag in the middle or fumble the ending (which is also not new). The tension between established ships, fan expectations, and genre requirements has honestly been there almost the whole time, though the reverberations of missteps is louder now because of the larger fanbase that is (comparatively) more plugged in to live viewing. The core question in BL has always been 'how do we make this marketable', and that unsurprisingly hasn't changed, though the answer to that question has over time, if that makes sense?

Shows

Do the shows feel different? As a whole, I'd say yes. The biggest differences are of course total quantity and overall quality, but the actual distribution of % of shows that have high(er) production values (i.e. quality) feels close to the same--it was close to 50/50 in the late 2010s and now is maybe more like 40/60 with a higher percentage coming from more smaller production companies. But the numbers we're talking about are something like 15 shows in e.g. 2018 and something more like 50 shows in 2023 (being vague because there are shows that people could argue over whether they should count). The quality overall has increased, even the pulps look better, sound better, and tend to feel a little bit more put together than the pulps of even 2020 (please note that these are all relative qualifiers, most of these shows are still not objectively good). 2020 in particular was a watershed moment for high production value BLs; we get colorists and special effects artists, and sometimes decent sound production now!

There has also been an improvement in terms of what is depicted and how certain subject matter is treated very generally, though I think that's still in flux. Things like evil ex girlfriends are less common than they were and the women in BL are more likely (in general, still not always) to be treated as realized characters. We've gotten more and better femme representation in ensemble shows, and the "gay for you" trope is much less common. Consent is now considered sexy and is much more common than it was; non-consent as "sexy" has eroded and is much less common. Things that used to happen in almost every BL now happen in a much lower percentage. I also feel a little bit less worried about some of the actors on pulp sets because there is more general scrutiny about things like minor actors, intimacy coordination, BGP (business gay performance) expectations, and sexual exploitation. Overall, show recommendations these days come with fewer caveats.

The assumption that if you worked with someone on a BL once you would stay with them as an established pairing was surprisingly early in BL; I don't know if it's just because there were a few shows that had side pairings then get main shows, so the actors did work together on a few shows in a row, which made them feel established, or whether it's because the BGP started early to build hype both before and after shows aired, or whether audiences just made homophobic assumptions about how if two actors had chemistry they had to be gay for each other, and otherwise nobody would want to "play gay" more than once, or would want to have to kiss too many other men....in any case, there were huge scandals and blow-ups around this in BL on even the earliest shows, and some early shows were snubbed because of the pairing alone. Similarly, it was established very early in BL (i.e. 2016-17) that an unhappy ending for a pair would result in your show being panned; cheating was also a guaranteed flop in BL circles (though some ensemble shows that had gay relationships in them such as Friend Zone did fine with cheating plots and unhappy endings). Overall it feels like some things were only depicted in early Thai BL and creators have avoided them since due to the audience reception at the time. I will say, generally, that there have now been enough examples of people in a "branded pair" moving on to a new pair or multiple shows, that it feels less like a death knell to a BL career if one of the actors says they no longer wanted to make BLs, or if they switched companies.

I pay a lot of attention to queerness in BL, and that has changed a little bit too, though not in the way I expected. I had been expecting a more clear and steady trajectory in BL, but we've instead had real swings, and I've realized there will just always be shows that feel more or less actually gay or queer than others, and that's ok. Early Thai shows really spoiled us for good queer content, GayOK Bangkok and Diary of Tootsies are still shows by which i measure what we get now, and both of those are from 2016. I would say that more "mainstream" BL (i.e. by one of the major production companies) hit what turned out to be queer saturation around 2020 and that's where I was most surprised not see a more clear trajectory; rather than things getting more queer from there, I'd say a greater percentage of shows overall feel more queer, but we haven't (and I now suspect won't) reach the queerness we had in Thai tv in 2016. That being said, my secret running list of things I want to see in BL gets shorter every year as entries get crossed off, so I would say the range of queer experience is slowly getting captured as more content continues to be made by a wider range of production houses (PrEP being mentioned in a mainstream show is my white whale).

I know some people assume that shows are higher heat now overall, but I don't think that's true. I do think Thai television producers and directors have overalll gotten better at capturing sensuality, and acting workshops have improved chemistry-building overall too. But from what I can tell the ratio of high head and low heat content is still pretty similar to what it's always been, maybe slightly higher (e.g. at a quick glance I'd guesstimate 30% of shows had a sex scene in 2018 vs 40% in 2023).

Fandom

The main differences in fandom from the really early days and now are the ways we, as international fans, are able to engage with each other, with thai audiences at the same time, and with content creators, and the entitlement that comes with that. In the 2010s we were almost always watching after Thai airing, with either fansubs or, later, official subs, trailing online releases by days or weeks, which themselves may have trailed the Thailand airing date by days or weeks or sometimes even months. That became less true around 2019ish, and especially in 2020 when I think Thai producers were desperate to reach audiences during the start of the pandemic (and when audiences were desperate for something to distract us from what was happening in real life).

As a fan in the mid-late 2010s, watching something was either unofficial via a fansubber, or you were wading through hundreds of Thai comments to find anyone else writing about the shows in English. Now, it's actually rare we don't have immediate international distribution, though it may be paid. If the subs are not up at the same time as the official upload, even on free sites, fans get furious. It's a bit surreal to see people complain about waiting a few hours for subtitles, especially on YouTube, when we sometimes waited months for a series to finish being subbed (not to say people didn't complain back then too, because they sure did! But there were fewer international fans overall, and it wasn't an expectation that there would be subs, so fewer people complained when it happened). This meant that a lot of people only watched shows when they were complete, and people were not watching with any kind of synchronicity.

With international fans moving into simultaneous watching with Thai audiences, we suddenly had the chance to talk about shows as they were airing and affect the conversations about them and even, sometimes, the decisions. Folks seem to have differing opinions about what makes a BL, and what makes a BL good, and they are vocal about when a show doesn't meet their standard. This has always been true, but the strong opinions have more of an effect on the discourse when they're expressed in real-time to the show being aired. Also, when we have literally 3x the number of Thai shows being aired (nevermind other countries which have also increased), it seems so much more egregious to me to complain if a single show doesn't meet your particular taste. Just go watch something else! That was less possible in 2016, but now nobody has any excuse lol Please note here that I'm not saying shows should not be criticized. But when you have one loud faction saying shows should have nothing but innocent kisses if any skinship at all and showing more is distasteful and possibly homophobic, and another faction saying a show should be panned if they don't have at least one sex scene and if there is no good kiss it's homophobic, I don't know where that leaves content creators but I see the tension and how it sometimes results in my least favourite tropes like "blushing maiden" even after a couple has canonically had sex. These factions have always existed in BL fandom, this is not new, they just both seem particularly silly now with so much content to choose from.

The shows that get attention and the shows that get snubbed feel the same too, in all honesty. You can ask yourself the following questions:

Is the show a little slower paced?

Are the story beats less melodramatic?

Do its characters feel more human?

Do they feel more queer?

Is it a comedy?

Is there any risk of an unhappy ending?

Do people not think one of the lead actors is hot?

Do people ship one of the lead actors with someone who isn't his costar?

Do people have to do anything other than go to YouTube to watch it?

If the answer is yes to any of those questions, and especially to the last one, fewer people will be watching, even if the show is good. That's always been true. [Shows I'm thinking about when I say that: Make it Right, He's Coming to Me, My Ride, You're My Sky, Oxygen (though the sides in this one are also at fault), YYY, Something in my Room, Ghost Host Ghost House, Dear Doctor I'm Coming for Soul, Cooking Crush.] All this is to say, there have always been shows that have been ignored, though I agree with you OP that with more shows airing, more are being ignored at any given time.

The other thing is that when a show is good, it doesn't necessarily invite discourse. The messes are often what encourage people to dig in, fill in gaps, linger in the adrenaline. The part that does feel different is also related to the increase in genre BLs; genre stuff in general tends to get more attention in fandom spaces, and the way people are functioning as fans feels different in that they're bringing the way they interact with genre content to BL as BL has started having larger and better funded genre content. I'm thinking about those early genre BLs like He She It, My Dream, Love Poison, Golden Blood, So Much In Love, Why R U....we started getting genre shows in BL in I think 2017 and basically had 1-2 a year until 2020ish and then it increased from there; and the ones that had funding and decent distribution got engagement until they started going off the rails, and then they had even more engagement and then fell off. I don't think it's a coincidence that the shows last year that got people to write meta were La Pluie, Be My Favorite, and I Feel You Linger in the Air. When a show is building a world, there's more to say and interrogate about it, and when a genre show fails, it can fail more spectacularly than a regular romance story. The most popular BL shows used to all be straight-up BL bubble romances, but I think genre shows really started to take over a greater percentage of the popular spots in 2022 and 2023. Again, the main difference here is that there used to be 1-2 stand-out shows per year, and now there are closer to 6+ per year, and as we got more stand-out shows the variety of what type of show stood out as popular has expanded. I do think the overall percentage of shows that are more standard romance plots has reduced, partly because Thai production companies are running out of popular y-novels to adapt. So I'm anticipating we'll continue to get more genre content going forward, and maybe a higher percentage of original works too.

Shows I'm Enjoying Right Now

Right now, the Thai shows airing that I'm watching are:

Cooking Crush

Dead Friend Forever

Cherry Magic Thailand

City of Stars

The Sign

Playboyy

PitBabe

7 Days before Valentine

For Him

Of those, I'd currently most recommend Cooking Crush as a generic BL recommendation. Dead Friend Forever is very good, but is not a romance and is difficult for some to watch (there are a lot of dark themes in addition to the gore and scary bits).

Cooking Crush is doing so many things I love. I've written about the way it's set up its major conflict to be amongst the friend group here, and way the show is depicting communication between the two main characters and how they improve their communication with one another as they get closer here. Two of my biggest BL pet peeves are a conflict for the sake of a dramatic penultimate episode that ignores or retcons a character's growth or the building of trust that a couple has already gone through in the series, so the fact that this show is working so hard to establish strong communication between its leads and then setting up the significant drama to actually about friendship rather than romance is something I cannot overstate my excitement about. To tie this back into what I wrote above, this reminds me of Diary of Tootsies and I mean that in the best possible way.

Dead Friend Foreever is, like I mentioned above, not a romance; it's a slasher horror melodrama with a very well established mystery, an ensemble cast of mostly hateable characters (which I admit isn't usually my thing, but since they're likely all going to die as a result of the genre they're in I'm finding that more tolerable than usual, and there is at least one character I like). DFF did a great job of structuring the story for the ultimate payoff of information reveals. There are a lot of shows that have been messing with non-linear storytelling recently, Cooking Crush being one of the ones that actually does this poorly in my opinion, but Dead Friend Forever effectively uses non-linear storytelling so that we find out important pieces of information about particular characters at a time when that information will have the most emotional impact on what is happening in the "present" of the storyline. Every time there is a reveal, it informs what we've already seen, recontextualizes it, and means we understand some of the character motivations and actions differently from when we saw them the first time. I mentioned above that there are dark themes in this show; one of the things that I really like about this show is that the impact of class is not glossed over, and that the consequences of these events feel very real for the characters; people do terrible things in this show, but these actions are not treated lightly by the show itself.

You'd think these two shows would have nothing in common, but there are things that they share that put them both in my top category. Generally, in both of these shows, the character arcs are clear and logical; when a character does something, even if I don't like the action itself, I can understand exactly why they that and can see how it matches where they are in their arc at the time. The shows show change in characters as a result of what they experience, and the relationships in this show really matter. When characters start acting in ways that feel out of character or against their own arc because they have to in order to drive the plot forward, I struggle to remain invested; that's not happening with either of these shows. Both of these shows also treat serious topics with seriousness, and consequences for actions are real and felt by the characters in the show (and if someone gets away with something, the show is clear that this is not just). Nothing has happened that hasn't been signalled or implied earlier. Both shows also have clear class consciousness and represent the disparity caused by classism in a critical/harsh light.

Whew! I think I got to everything you asked. Thanks again for the extremely interesting question!

#ask game #bl meta #long post #typed so that I can stop thinking it #fandom meta #multi bl #thank you for the ask!

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bulkhummus · 18 days

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Hey!! I’m curious, in what ways do you think wtnv sucks? I’m not necessarily disagreeing but I can’t think of anything tbh and your tag made me start wondering

Hi!

No piece of media is perfect, and expecting it to be is unfair to the creator, and unrealistic of the consumer. Being able to consciously understand the ways in which something you love also has flaws is a healthy way of engaging with the things you enjoy without succumbing to the all-or-nothing mentality of being able to enjoy, well, anything!

I love wtnv, obviously, it's about 90% of my blog, and I have listened to it for a very long time. I respect the creators (including the actors) for what they have accomplished.

However, there are a few things about wtnv that I as a listener and long-time fan have recognized as, lets call them, potential critiques. Sucks is too strong a word because I’m not focusing on specific instances where they have messed up (and they have, people make mistakes). This isn’t a list where I tell you specific things— but rather I just explain to you some thoughts I have about the show. This is, by no means, a complete or solitary list, or even an ‘accurate’ one. This is just my own opinion and you're welcome to disagree.

Consistency

I do not have the expectation of wtnv having continuity. I never once have, due to the nature of what it is, what it's about, and how it's written. I don't care if facts change. Cecil is an unreliable narrator. Timelines shatter and splinter off regularly in the show. Time doesn't work right for most of the podcast. The Cecil we listen to currently is not the same Cecil we were introduced to. Writers make mistakes when shows have been on for over a decade. etc etc etc. Instead, I use the word consistency.

The show lacks consistency in story telling. This is its strength! WTNV was a podcast made by a small group of people that skyrocketed in popularity very quickly. It was a passion project. It was a bunch of think pieces where the writers got to explore different styles of writing, different characters, and their thoughts and feelings on current events in real life. That’s what it was built on. It was recorded in a coat closet on a shitty mic and then suddenly it became a livelihood with a massive following. So, the show lacks consistency in story telling, which to me has always been the joy of it, because of its freedom to do as it pleases. A lot of ‘plot’ would happen and we’d leave on a cliffhanger, and in classic Night Vale fashion, it’d be like 4 months before you heard about it again. However.

WTNV was introduced as a serial podcast where the only consistency was that they'd upload twice a month. With the introduction of mini-arcs, and later longer arcs (such as STREX, the DOW, or UOWII) the writers introduced the expectation of continuity. The story would build over the course of several episodes and resolve in some type of way. This requires more planning and greater attention to detail than episodes that are one-off or ongoing by the nature of what the show initially was. My issue here is that they have given themselves the problem of continuity given how they write longer arcs now — but they just don’t seem to fact check or communicate with one another when it comes to these arcs that span several episodes or rely upon info from older episodes. Now, the show often feels like its fighting between what it wants to focus on, and how it focuses on it and I am left sensing this inconsistency that I once used to enjoy. Which brings me to my next point.

Understanding A World

WTNV is a show about a fictional town, told by an unreliable narrator in the form of a radio show. When the show started, I felt it understood that very well. New characters were introduced as callers, or interviews on local news, ad reads, and even Cecil playing his voicemail on air. It operates under a VAUGE set of rules (but rules nonetheless) that this was a radio show.

There have been several instances, more recently, where I feel as if the show forgets that Cecil is a radio host and the story is told through his perspective about 90% of the time. It is that exciting 10% where we gain insight to the same stories from different characters giving us new information.

For example, having Carlos and Janet go back and forth at one another in the finale of the UOWII arc completely casts aside Cecil's perspective as the narrator, and as having control over the story. Cecil hated Janet. it would have been more amusing and in character for him to have ad libbed whatever Janet said and only play Carlos' parts -- only for her to burst into his live studio outraged that he wasn't fairly reporting and THEN tell her side of the story after wrestling the mic away from him.

My issue here is that, more recently, it feels as if they forget that operating under rules, or constraints, in story telling, actually helps them be more creative in how information gets delivered to the listener.

I think how they use their patreon needs a massive overhaul too but thats a different post. Which brings me to my next point.

Hand Holding

They are good writers. They are capable of balancing humor and horror in a way that enhances both. I have felt gutted, I have felt hopeful, and I have felt absolutely feral after certain episodes because they have good ideas and can write well!

So it becomes really frustrating when they just tell me a bunch of stuff without it being reflected in the show, or they don’t trust themselves as writers. I get it. Not every episode can be their best, but there have been several instances recently, in moments where it really counts, where I am just being told what's going on instead of it going on. I’m being told why things are happening instead of listening to them happen, and often I feel they forget they are writing something to be performed. They don’t need to explain all of their metaphors or explain what the point of a characters actions are. The audience is not stupid and things don’t always need to be spelled out. Which brings me to my next point.

Writing for an Audience

All creators have to work off of in terms of how well something is doing is fan engagement, especially in a smaller project like this. However, they have an audience that varies in ages of 11-45 given how long this show has been running for. Go to a live show you will see what I mean. How do you write for an audience who is that diverse in age? Should you have to? Is it bad engagement to not think about your audience? Sometimes something a 30 year old understands, a 11 year old may not. Not for any other reason but time and lived experience. Theres things 30 year olds forget about being 11! That’s how it works.

And while this is less of a problem they may have, it’s something I noticed about the reception of different episodes by fans. The second to last live show I went to I had the enjoyment of listening to two 13/14 year olds sitting behind me offering their vastly different perspectives on some recent episodes, especially given the fact that I heard one of them say they had only just started listening after listening to the first 100 episodes summary. Which brings me to my next point.

Duration

Everything I have said previously comes back to the duration of the show. I think its impressive that its been running for over a decade with consistency. And they should! In a perfect world, WTNV would run forever because of how much I love it. I love this show and I don’t want it to end. HOWEVER. If the quality of something begins to degrade because there is not enough time dedicated to it and the creators no longer find it engaging and exciting then I’d want it to come to an end. They’re people. They want to work on new things. I respect that! And I’d be heartbroken if the show faded out or ended in a rushed manner in an unsatisfying way because they decided on a whim they don’t want to make it anymore.

I think it is a disservice to the work, effort and history of the show for them to create a 100 episode summary and tell people to start there. Idc. “But Bulk people might not want to listen to 10 years worth of podcasting—“ Babes the show is 245 episodes long. They’re like 25 min a pop not including ads. It’s a bimonthly show. Buckle up and settle down. The creators should take pride in their work, and how long the shows been on for, and be encouraging people to start from the beginning. Let people experience for the first time what many people fell in love with. Why on EARTH would you tell people to NOT start at the beginning? To me, as a long time fan, it feels like the creators don’t have faith or pride in their work.

I’m not saying they don’t dedicate time to their show of 10 years, because how could I know that, but, when they don’t fact check (because now there is the precedent of continuity, especially with newer fans, because they chose to write more serially) and they tell fans its ok to not start at episode 1, and they are advertising other projects on WTNV episodes where fans call them out for not fact checking and and and— where does that lead me as a fan? It sometimes makes me feel like they don’t care about what they’re making anymore.

I also think that this show has become a means of income for them. And it has. They have a patreon now, they do shows, they sell merch. What was once a passion project for them is now a product. People who pay for something demand a better quality— thats like almost universally true. And people who are newer fans, and don’t understand what podcasting was like a decade ago, who don’t know what WTNV was like a decade ago, don’t have that background knowledge of what the show was built up on and created as (ie. A bunch of experimentations, think pieces, and whacky one-offs as previously mentioned).

Because they’re telling fans not to listen to the first 100 episodes and focusing on more serial story telling. Am I making sense? It’s all connected and I feel like I’m making sense.

Conclusion

I love WTNV but, in my opinion, it was never meant to be what fans often demand it to be, and the creators sometimes have to respond to. What I fell in love with it for is often the things I see people criticize it for. It’s this story that sort of does what it wants, when it wants, because that’s how it started. It’s grown into something else now, which all things do over time, and I just hope they don’t grow it into something it is not if they aren’t careful. The show was is deeply unserious but also really interesting and exciting and chilling and worth the time spent, despite the ways it may be imperfect. Perfectly imperfect, if you will (wink wink).

You don’t have to agree with what I’ve said here, and maybe none of it reads true for you, because I really am just speculating and offering thoughts, and thats fine! I’d never tell someone their viewing of the show is wrong, but I do think it’s good to stop and think about your favorite pieces of media like this. Anyways thats why it sucks or whatever

#wtnv #ask tag #anon

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allthingswhumpyandangsty · 29 days

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I read your post about not letting kudos and hits upset us. I try to think this way but I'm curious about something else. I've written many fanfics for my fandom and they're all "flop". I don't mind that honestly. But then some writers have written only one fic about the ship I do and and it gets hundreds of kudos. How do some writers achieve that when I'm doing the same and it doesn't get the same response. What else can I do?

I’m afraid I can’t give you a definite answer about what you should do or why this person’s work is more popular, but what I can give you are some advice and, from my experience, some reasons that might explain why other’s works receive more hits and kudos.

start with why other writers’ works are more popular when it’s the same characters, same ship, same fandom. there are various factors at play that might be it;

maybe the person already has large audience base prior to their posting about the fandom you’re in, I know a few authors who already have these sorts of loyal readers that would read any work the authors posted even if they (the readers) were not in that fandom.

maybe someone, anyone, decided share the link to this person’s work on Tumblr or Twitter (X) or any social media platform, and it kind of became viral, thus it drew in lots and lots of readers. it could take just one person, didn’t necessarily have to be the author themself, to share the link among the fandom as a recommendation, or maybe a screenshot of one sentence from the fic that they liked, what happened next is that the replies were filled with people asking for the link.

tags and summary are important factors when people are looking for a fic to read. so maybe this person’s work is tagged with the content people were looking for? maybe their summary grabbed people’s attention or curiosity?

these are just what I can think of over the top of my head.

as for what you can do to gain more readers, I’ve never seen your work so the advice I can give will be a general one; I believe the trick lies in summary, tags as well as the format of one’s work.

when it comes to AO3 (I assume it’s your platform?), tags and summary are the main things people use to determine whether or not they want to click on the fic.

tag your content properly, what characters or pairings it’s about, as well as what the readers will find upon reading your work (you don’t have to spoil it, only the general tags that will give your readers an idea of what they’re in for).

summaries are just as important. there are no “rules” obviously, and I’m not telling you or any writers what to do. though a little advice that I personally take is that you use this little summary section AO3 gives you to do anything to make sure it stands out and that people will see it and want to click on it. that means leave “author’s note” out of the summary section. folks, AO3 summary is the first glimpse into the fic itself that people will see prior to clicking on it, most of the time, people look at the summary to see the author’s writing style and if what’s written, plotwise, grabs their interest. personally, when I see an author use “summary” as a place to write “author’s note”, chances are, I will scroll past that fic as I am interested in what the fic is about, not what the author has to say about their opinion on said fic or their personal life or anything (there’s an author’s note section for that) and if I can’t get a glimpse of what the plot is about or what the author’s writing style is from the summary section, then I won’t click on it, and will look for other fic that can get me interested instead.

moving on to fic format, again, I am not telling anyone what to do here. this is only a suggestion, an advice I’ve learned and want to share: when you write your fic, make sure to use line and paragraph spacing. if your 10k word long fic is one long block of text with no paragraph break, chances are, people will back away from it entirely. also, if it’s two different characters talking with dialogues, don’t put all of their dialogues in one paragraph. for instance, a paragraph for character A’s dialogue, then another separate paragraph for character B’s dialogue and so on.

and I think that’s it for my advice? however, I’ll say this again that the secret to truly enjoying your role as a fanfic writer is that you only focus on yourself. write whatever you want for yourself. it doesn’t matter if this person’s work is more popular, because fanfics and fandoms aren’t a competition. you are your main audience. just have fun creating the stories you want to create for you.

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phantomsalamander · 7 days

Text

The age-old question:

I’m personally team flower husbands, but I’m just genuinely curious as to what the popular opinion is

Reblogs are appreciated so I can reach a larger amount of people <3

#trafficblr #traffic shipping #polls #third life smp #third life #double life #flower husbands #ranchers #flower ranchers #empires smp #scott smajor #jimmy solidarity #tangotek #sorry about the shit ton of tags #Moth’s posts

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discopaddock · 11 months

Text

BIEVRE RIVER - PIERRE GASLY

PAIRING: pierre gasly x fem!reader

GENRE: angst, fluff

NOTE: english isn't my first language so im sorry for any mistakes

WARINGS: sad and heartbroken pierre :(, mentions of crying, google translated french

PART TWO

Pierre never ever had felt in his whole life that ridiculed and betrayed. The love of his life ran away from their wedding, plus with his own cousin. He looked pathetic in front of his friends and family.

It was supposed to be his day, his great day and what? And a dick.

During his great day, he was sitting with tears in his eyes and on face, with McDonald’s and a bottle of Absolut in his hands on the beach by the river Bievre.

He dropped his phone on the floor in the church, probably pulling it down, while he was running away by sacristy with face all in tears.

He had with himself a wallet, bottle of vodka, food, car and Alexander McQueen on himself.

He was feeling woefully, but still he was wealthy and handsome. She didn’t take these from him.

And when he was sitting the next hour, virtually alone on that beach, he heard a voice behind him; small, brokenly and crying a little bit.

“Sorry, mind if I sit here?” Gasly turned around and saw a girl in white shirt and long black skirt with heels and a bottle of wine in one hand and a box from one of the best bakers in Paris in the other. She had red eyes, just like him, which didn’t make him feel better.

“No, no problem” he answered, and she nodded her head in thanks and dropped the shoes on the sand.

“I’m Y/N, by the way” she said, when she finally sat down. Pierre shouldn’t have been ready at that moment for any conversation, but something attracted him to that girl, who just like him had to cry for some reason on that day. So because of that he told her his name. “Sounds nice. What brings you here, Pierre?”

“Ah, putain” he slipped out, when he was thinking for a while in silence. “Ma fiancée s'est enfuie de notre mariage” he said eventually, hoping that she didn’t speak french. Ah, fuck. My fiancée ran away from our wedding.

“Je suis vraiment désolé. Désolé de demander” the girl said quickly, which made Pierre want to hit himself on his forehead. She wasn't stupid. I mean, in his opinion, she didn't look stupid. I’m so sorry. Sorry for asking.

“D'accord. Je suppose que je devais en parler à quelqu'un” he laughed and then took a sip of vodka. “Et qu'est-ce qui vous amène ici?” It’s okay. I guess I had to tell someone. And you, what brings you here?

He was curious. Maybe it was her boyfriend? Or girlfriend. Or completely something else.

“Dure journée de travail” Y/N answered him, looking for something in her bag. A hard day at work.

“Dure journée de travail?” Where do you work?

“A l'Ambassade,” the girl said. In the embassy.

“Alors tu es intelligent” Pierre told, making her laugh. So you are clever.

“J'ai à peine réussi mes examens finaux! Je suis terriblement stupide” she announced and then took a corkscrew out of her purse. I barely graduated! I’m terribly stupid.

Pierre thought that Y/N was cute. Pretty also. Her H/C hair cascaded down her back, and her E/C eyes, freckles on her straight nose, and dimples on both cheeks gave her charm. She definitely wasn’t ugly, that was something he could tell after watching her wrestle with the wine stopper for a while.

“T'aider?” Do you need help?

The girl nodded, then handed him the bottle, taking his vodka from him so that it wouldn't spill.

“Sur quelle chanson étiez-vous censé danser la première danse?” she asked completely out of nowhere, and when she heard the title of Ed Sheeran's most popular song from him, she twisted her mouth in a grimace of disgust. “Oh God! C'est la pire première chanson de danse! Sérieusement? Il n'y en avait pas d'autre?” What song were you supposed to dance your first dance to? This is the worst song for a first dance! Seriously? There was no other?

"Je voulais quelque chose en français, mais elle a choisi Ed," he confessed, pouring wine into the glass she was holding. He had no idea where she got it from, but he liked it. I wanted something in French, but she chose Ed.

“C'est peut-être encore mieux que tu ne l'aies pas épousée. Totalement insipide de sa part," she said, sticking the bottle and glass into the wet sand before opening the box. "Aide-toi." She pushed them under his nose and he took out two yellow macaroons. Maybe it's even better that you didn't marry her. She is literally so tasteless. Help yourself.

“Merci”

Pierre thought that Y/N might have been right, that it was better that he had not married Dulcinea. Yes, she was pretty and he really felt something for her, but he wasn't bad at writing stories either.

"Je suppose que je devrais rentrer à la maison," he said, when the sun had long since sunk below the horizon and both bottles had run out of alcohol. "Mais j'ai perdu mon téléphone quelque part et je n'ai aucun moyen d'appeler Charles," he laughed at his stupidity. Drunk him told her the whole story of his life, but he regretted nothing. I should probably go home. But I lost my phone somewhere and I have no way to call Charles.

Y/N put her phone in front of his face. Already unlocked with a view of the Dune Paul Atreides wallpaper. Or Timothee Chalamet, because he played him in the last film adaptation, after all.

"Entrez l'indicatif régional devant ce long numéro” she announced as he took the smartphone from her. Enter the area code before this long number.

“Quel est l'indicatif de pays de Monaco?” What is the area code for Monaco?

“+377.”

"Comment sais-tu cela?" he asked, typing in his best friend's number. How do you know this?

"Je travaille à l'ambassade, ça doit être clair," she replied as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. I work at the Embassy, that's obvious.

About five or seven minutes after Charles answered the phone, he appeared on the beach looking very worried.

“Salut Charles! Tu me manques." Pierre greeted the Monegasque, whose expression changed to a concerned one when he saw Gasly's condition. The Frenchman got up from the sand and hugged Leclerc, who also wrapped his arms around him. He had never felt so sorry for him. And he knew him most of his life and was there when they kicked him out of Red Bull and moved to Toro Rosso. Hey Charles! I miss you.

"Je te suis aussi, Pierre. Je m'inquiétais pour toi" he replied after a moment as they pulled apart. I follow you too, Pierre. I was worried about you.

"Ah j'ai oublié! C'est Y/N. Mon nouvel ami. Y/N, voici Charles, mon meilleur ami” the blue-eyed man rushed towards the girl, dragging Charles with him. The brown haired woman hastily got up and almost spilled her wine from the glass, but she extended her hand towards the newly met man, shifting. Ah, I would forget! This is Y/N. My new friend. Y/N, this is Charles, my best friend.

Leclerc thought that Y/L/N was a really pretty girl. In Pierre's type.

"Comment rentres-tu à la maison, ma douce?" Gasly turned to her as she stowed her things into her rag bag. How are you getting home, sweets?

A red light bulb went off in Charles' head at that moment. His friend never asked his possible mates for one or two nights about transportation home.

“Métro," she replied shortly, and the brunette immediately shook his head. Subway.

“Non non Non! Nous vous conduirons avec Charles. D'accord, Charles?” The green-eyed man only nodded, because that was all he had left. The girl at first did not want to agree, but under Leclerc's pleading eyes she did, because she knew that drunk Pierre would not let her go so easily. No no no! We'll drive you with Charles. Right, Charles?

And so Y/N ended up sitting between Gasly's legs in a black Ferrari 488 Pista Spider. Brunette got his phone in his hands and after seeing it, he said that the next day he would go to the salon to replace the glass.

After a while, he also took a photo of Y/L/N looking out the window and showing her left profile in the frame. Pierre then thought that he had never seen a more beautiful woman in his entire life.

He encouraged the girl to give him her phone number, which she didn't want to do at first because he wouldn't remember her the next day anyway, and Charles was looking at them strangely. I mean, he was looking pityingly at Gasly, not at her. He was the one who felt completely sorry for her being stuck with his friend in this situation.

“C'est mon domaine. Merci beaucoup pour le trajet, Charles," she said finally, and the brunette sighed in dissatisfaction. This is my estate. Thank you very much for the ride, Charles.

"Je te reverrai, n'est-ce pas?" asked the sad Frenchman, not wanting to let go of the brunette from his arms. Leclerc gave Y/N an apologetic look, and she had no option but to agree. We'll see each other again, right?

Y/L/N quickly said goodbye to the men and then got out of the car.

"Je pense que je suis amoureux, Charles," Pierre squealed as he watched the girl enter her cage. The Monegasque slapped him on the back of the head, muttering that he was an idiot. I think I'm in love, Charles.

In the meantime, the girl entered her apartment and leaned against the front door, then sat on the floor, and finally began to sob.

Her roommate, Eszter, heard her crying and immediately went to her best friend. The girl was perfectly aware of her entire afternoon and evening. She may have drunk all the wine herself, but it was almost alcohol-free, so she wasn't drunk at all (unlike Pierre).

"What's wrong, sweets?" Balog asked, crouching beside the younger girl.

“I met a guy whose wife ran away from the wedding and he was drunk as fuck and wanted my number, so I gave it to him, but it was a mistake, because he won't remember me tomorrow anyway. And at work this cunt had a problem with me and I cried and all, I'm fed up, I want to sleep." Esz barely understood anything of her friend's gibberish as she helped her up off the cold floor. She led her into the living room, then sat her down on the couch and gave her tissues.

"He was old and rich, wasn't he?" The brunette knew her platonic soulmate type very well, so she knew what to expect.

“He was maybe ten years older. And definitely rich. He showed me his Ferrari... And his friend who was driving us also had a Ferrari” Y/L/N dreamed, leaning against the back of the sofa. “But his fiancée ran away from the altar. Guess it's not that great. Or she was cheating on him. I don't know, I want to forget about it. Just like he does about me.

But Pierre did not forget. Same as Y/N about him.

#pierre gasly fluff #pierre gasly angst #pierre gasly x reader #pierre gasly x y/n #pierre gasly x you #pierre gasly fanfic #pierre gasly #formula 1 #pg10 #formula 1 x reader #formula 1 x you #formula 1 x y/n

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vibratingskull · 6 months

Note

Ok, I have absolutely no idea if this is how I send requests or not (I’m new to this and technically, you’re my first person I’ve ever sent a submission to. So I apologize in advance if this isn’t where I’m supposed to ask-) anyways, I was wondering if you’re still taking requests and if you are, do you mind writing for thrawn? 🥺

I am obsessed and I can’t get this man out of my head 😵‍💫

Anyways here’s what I’m thinking-

Reader is an agent/captain (preferably female) and she works on the Chimaera and is known as the joking type. Very expressive (both in her facial expressions and in her voice) if someone says smt stupid she’s gonna make a face. Doesn’t really care about anyone’s opinion, but is very nice towards people.

She made friends with kallus and pryce. When we catch thrawns attention (being that we have a humorous personality), but are also very eager to learn from him. Whenever he starts talking about his plans or the benefits of art she’s always asking questions. (Not in a disagreement or disrespectful manner, but in a curious one)

So the admiral likes us, but then someone takes an unnecessary liking towards us (cough cough- constantin-) and no matter how blunt we make it that we aren’t interested, he just can’t seem to take the hint. Us being who we are, we don’t want anyone else to interfere in the matter cause we can handle it ourselves (aka kallus or pryce ask if we need help or if they can do something but the readers got it all under the bag and reassuring them) but one day it’s gotten kinda out of hand and thrawn sees how pushy constantin is being and he does interfere, shutting him down immediately. After that, he’s kinda more protective around us. Makes it so that are duties circulated more around his. And we start to form a bond with him.

Maybe something where kallus and pryce are teasing us about it (and maybe a confession from the reader ��) when all of the sudden we realize that thrawn was listening in and he takes the reader aside and makes it clear that he fancies us as well?

I don’t care if you wanna end it with fluff, but is certainly wouldn’t mind if you go hardcore and make it a spicy ending 🥵 I just really want something like this and haven’t really found anything that scratches the itch! 🤣

Sorry if this is kinda long (and detailed) like I said you are my first ever submission..😅

P.s. Love your work so far, you’re doing amazing!❤️

Thank you so much dear ❤️ You did well, don't worry

I compressed the timeline a bit, but it is close enough of what you asked. I hope you like it!

Thrawn x f!reader

Tags: Konstantin being a creep, fluff, humor, p in v, creampie, alien anatomy, knot...

“So?” Arhinda asks with gleaming in the eyes “You and Thrawn? You seem quite close lately, he took you under his wing?”

“Oh no, it’s rather me who harasses him.” you laugh..

You appreciate this quiet moment with your friend, she rarely comes on the Chimaera lately. Next to her Alexsandr walks with you in silence, focused on his datapad.

“I’m constantly glued to him for him to teach me.”

Arhinda raises an eyebrow, she doesn’t seem convinced.

“Whatever you say, I just noticed he seems to ask your opinion quite a lot lately. And me who thought he was a frozen ice cube, he might have more games than I first anticipated.”

You tuts.

“No, he’s simply patient with people who want to learn.”

“Yeah, I doubt it too,” Alexsandrs raises his gaze from his pad, “he asks you to his office quite a lot. He may have an ulterior motive with you.” he teases you with a smirk.

“Well! I wouldn’t mind, he’s exactly my taste, he looks like a whole meal to me!” you joke along.

Like you got a chance with the Grand Admiral, yeah! He’s untouchable and above all that. But it is true you would not mind, you would gladly bite into that treat of a man.

They exchange a gaze.

“Oh Maker, she’s blind.” Arhinda sighs.

You wince at her.

“I’m simply a realist.”

“It’s a shame, the cold stern one and the jokester are a popular trope in movies, no?” Alexsandr ponders.

“Only in duds, Alexs! But you seem the type to be familiar with that genre.” you tease back.

“Ah! Captain (f/n)!” you hear an unpleasant, well too known voice.

Away from you you see Admiral Konstantin walk towards you with long strides and a large smile. Not him again…

“You want us to stay?” Alexs asks.

“No,” you sigh “You can go, I’ll handle it.”

“You’re sure?” Arhinda insists.

“Yes, I’m a big girl! Do not worry about me.” You say with a reassuring smile, walking away from them, closing the distance with Konstantine.

It’s been like what? 3 times you told this guy to fuck off? But he’s dunce like a rock, never taking the hint.

“Captain (f/n)! I am very happy to see you.” He exclaims, rubbing his gloved hands. “I just heard a marvelous news.”

“Oh really, Admiral? Please don’t make me wait.” you try to smile joyfully, but he gots the talent to suck up your energy.

“We’ve been announced on the same mission together, isn’t it wonderful?”

You bite your cheek

“It’s… Incredible news. Does that mean you’re gonna let me take the lead on the mission?” you ask, knowing full well a captain never leads when an admiral is present.

“Letting you lead? No.” he laughs “But that would give us plenty of time to… discuss.”

Yurk.

“Discuss about what? The weather in space?”

“You know the weather is always the same in space.”

“Yes I…” He’s he really that dunce? “I was making a bit of humour…”

“Oh!” he explodes laughing “I like you Captain (f/n)! You are funny!”

You smile, completely on edge, how this man became an admiral again? Not by being smart, that’s for sure. He passes his arm around your shoulder, pressing you against him and you tense up immediately, you’re maybe a jokester but you’re not familiar for all that.

“Please don’t do that.”

He sniffs the air, ignoring your comment.

“You smile divine, do you know that?”

Yes you know, you bought your perfume a real fortune, but if it elicits this kind of behavior you won’t hesitate to throw it across space.

“Yes I know. You don’t need to come this close to scent it.” you bite back.

Then to your utmost horror, he buries his nose in your neck to scent it.

You’re about to send him flying against the consoles when a voice raises behind your backs.

“Admiral Konstantine! What have I said about fraternization of my ships?”

You turn your head to your impromptu savior to meet a red gaze and beautiful blue skin.

Thrawn approaches with his hands behind his back and a hard gaze.

“Oh, Grand Amiral. I’m, huh…” Konstantin really looks caught off guard “I thought you were still in your office.”

“Release my captain at once.”

“Yes, Grand Admiral.” He smiles, truly not sorry to have overstepped your boundaries. He looks at Thrawn to find masculine complicity but he only finds ice, to your pleasure. “I was just… She’s cool with it, I was just trying to install a more friendly ambiance.”

Thrawn raises his brow, unconvinced. Konstantin releases you and you immediately step on the side, letting him alone in the blast zone. Thrawn takes one step towards him, towering him with all his height, forcing Konstantine to look up to him. He shoots him with his gaze.

“I do not want to hear you pathetic excuses and you should learn to treat your female counterparts with respect. I want none of that on my ships, am I clear?”

“I… Yes, sir.” Konstantine lowers his head submissively.

“Present your excuses to the Captain and return to your post immediately.”

Konstantine wince turning to you, clearly displeased to let his eye candy escapes him.

“I am sorry Captain. My behavior was inappropriate?”

“Indeed it was very much, Admiral.” You say with a big unapologetic smile.

You wave him goodbye as he walks away rapidly.

“Are you okay?” Thrawn asks lowly.

“Yes! Thank you Grand Admiral, I almost sent him flying but you intervened just in time.”

“Glad to hear it. Those behaviors are simply unacceptable, do not hesitate to come to me directly if it happens again.” He looks at you softly.

You nudge him.

“With you at my side I am sure he would not dare!”

He looks at you with a frown and you wonder if you crossed the line with him.

But he instantly relaxes.

“This is the effect I am counting on. Come to me if you meet any difficulties.”

“Sir, yes sir!” You salute him with your signature smile and he nods.

“I am counting on you to bring me the datacards tonight again.” And he walks away

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“And then?!” Arhinda asks on the edge of her seat.

“And then nothing, he walked away.” you explain, munching on your dish.

She looks disappointed, her shoulders lowered.

“She omits to say he keeps her at his side at all times now.” Alexs interjects.

“No, not really.” you temper. “He’s just protecting me from Konstantin.”

“So he keeps her at his side all the time.” He concludes.

“You’re exaggerating.”

“And you are completely blind, as always. From an exterior point of view it is evident.”

Wait.” Arindha intervenes “What do you mean he keeps her at his side now?”

“She has been upgraded to his personal secretary.”

“I am merely helping him sort some files.”

“Yes, we got droids and algorithms to do that.”

“He likes to do it manually.”

“And he needs a tier party help for that? I don’t think so.”

“Wait, you’re telling me that they spent all their evening for the last four months together alone?” Arhinda asks him

“Yes.”

“It is less saucy than that.” You explain. What if they ascribe him intentions? Thrawn has been nothing but respectful and helpful to you. “Maybe he is just preparing me for my next promotion?”

“Your promotion to his bed?”

You slap Alexs’s hands with a grimace, he’s so silly sometimes.

“I don’t remember him doing that much to prepare Faro for commandment.” Arhinda recalls

“Because he didn’t.” Alexs shakes his head.

“But what about you? How does that make you feel?” Arhinda turns back to you.

“It’s nice.” you remain succinct.

“What I love about you it’s the abundance of details.” she snarls.

You pull out your tongue to her.

“Well, it's… Great? I like being with him, he’s respectful.”

They both look at you, awaiting for the juicy details.

“There is nothing to say guys, really.” you defend yourself.

“So you didn’t try anything? You remained a pretty doll in his office, never tempting your chance?” Arhinda chokes.

Alexs sighs.

“I told you she was blind, but I didn’t know she was also impotent.”

“Oh come one guys! Place yourself in my shoes, I am intimidated, okay?” You bite into your meat. “He’s really… something else. I am always on edge in his presence. It’s hard being all alone with him in a room.”

“And you didn’t crack some jokes to ease the atmosphere as you do so well?”

“Of course I did. But that doesn’t do all. He’s hard to discern.”

“Really? Because on our end the signs are pretty clear.” Alexs comments “He’s consistently devouring you with his gaze, always commenting on how good you did on the last mission, keeping you next to him…”

You let your bite roll inside your mouth, thinking. It would be wonderful if that were true, he always was to your taste and if he asked you would jump in his arms no question asked. But that is simply a dream.

Arhinda leans forward to lower her voice.

“But in your heart? Did something change? Did it not comfort you in your sentiments? You always had a crush on him.”

“Well…” you lower your voice too, they both lean further pricking up their ears “I… I think…” You gasp for air, not believing your about to reveal your sentiment, but it will help you face them. “I think… I am truly in love with him now…”

You immediately hide your face as you flush, feeling your cheek burning hot.

You hear no response.

You look at them between your fingers, to see them cowering back on their seat, looking behind you. You turn and jump out of your skin.

Thrawn is right behind you.

“Captain (f/n), would you please meet me after your dinner?” he simply asks with his haughty voice.

“Yes, sir.” you simply respond, decomposing yourself.

He walks away without another word, navigating between all the tables of the cantina of the Chimaera.

You slowly turns back to you friends, mortified.

“You think he heard me?”

“I have no idea.” Alexs answer with pursed lips. “What are you gonna do?”

“I don’t know.” you shout lowly, feeling panic rising in your blood

“Well don’t keep him waiting, you should go.” Arhinda presses you.

“What?” you choke on your own words. “I can’t face him right now!”

“Go!” she orders.

You obey with reluctance, you turn one last time to your friends that try to cheer you up with thumbs up and smiles, but your stomach is turning acidic.

For the first time in your life, you have no joke.

You knock at his office door and wait for permission to enter.

“Come.” He simply orders.

You brace yourself for what might be your biggest humiliation you have yet to face. You enter to discover him focused on his datapad, his “best Grand Admiral” mug in the other hand.

The mug was your idea three years ago, you thought it would be funny but right now it can’t even give you a smile.

“You wished to speak to me, Grand Admiral?” you say with the most assured voice you can muster.

“Indeed.” He lays down his mug and datapad, looking at you up and down with a light smile.

You remain still, waiting in complete silence as he gauges you with his amused expression.

“Is… Is there a problem, sir? Am I in trouble?” you finally ask.

“No. Absolutely not.” He says standing up.

You release your breath.

“Please sit down.” He orders, retrieving something in a closet of his desk.

You sit down, taking as little space as possible. He takes out a bottle and two glasses of the cabinet and starts pouring the alcohol.

“You hide a bottle in your office?” you open your eyes surprised. You never picked up on that during the four months you stayed with him.

“Shhhh. It is a secret.” He grins lightly, handing you a glass. “If I am not mistaken this Bourbon is one of your favorites.” He observes the amber bottle.

You take a sip to taste it.

It’s delicious

“Why do we drink today, sir?” you ask.

“To thank you for your help for the last four months.” He clinks his glass with yours, leaning against the desk and towering you from his height.

“Oh… Well you are welcome, it was natural.”

“Absolutely not, those tasks were not in your job description. You had every right to refuse.”

“I thought it was to keep Konstantine at bay?”

“It was…” he takes a sip, not leaving you with his gaze “And it served a more selfish purpose.”

“Dumping some files gestion on someone else?” you joke with a grin.

“No. Something more down to earth. Simply keeping you close to me at every given moment.”

You choke on your sip.

What did he just said?

He observes you coughing out the liquid, handing you a handkerchief to wipe your mouth.

“Sorry sir.” you press the fabric on your lips “I think I misheard.”

“On the contrary, I think you heard perfectly right. Just as I heard you ten minutes ago.”

You froze.

He heard you?

“Sir, whatever you thought you heard I meant no disrespect and-”

“Why would I take offense in a love confession?”

You wince, it was technically not a confession.

“Sir, again I am truly sorry.” You can’t push yourself to meet his gaze, you’re way too embarrassed.

It was supposed to be a secret between your heart and your friends, and now the object of your desires is aware of everything. Talk about discretion…

“You are absolutely adorable when you are embarrassed and confused like that.” he sings softly.

“Sir, please do not mock me. I am already embarrassed enough like that.” you try to defend yourself.

“Who says I am mocking you? I am serious.” he bites back.

You look up to him in surprise. You don’t see any ill intent or mockery in his gaze, but instead a clear and unwavering résolution. And something… heavy, dark and dangerous.

You gulp, your mouth dry despite your drink.

He leans forward slowly, his long fingers coming to graze your lips. It is such a simple touch, barely there, but it makes you gasp.

“How many of those visages do you have?” he murmurs “What visage do you have behind the doors of your bedroom?” he brushes your lip with his thumb “Will you allow me to see it?”

To say all words escaped you is an understatement. Your brain completely froze and you can’t move or say anything to save your life.

His thumbs part your lips lightly, entering your mouth. By instinct you gently bite down the tip of his finger and see his grin growing larger.

“Is that a yes?”

“You… You suggest we…sleep together?”

“Was I not clear enough?” He raises an eyebrow, amused

“You were not scant in details.” You say with a small voice.

“Let me be more explicit then.” He flashes you his fangs “I want you in my bed, I want to feel your pussy clench around my cock and see you struggle to take it. I want you to ride me to exhaustion, I want you to beg for me to stop because you cannot take so much…”

You just listen to him explaining his fantasies to you, mouth agape.

“Obviously, we will not do anything without your consent.” He raises back his bust to look down on you with all his height. “Is my offer acceptable to you?”

Your brain is fried, the man you dream about for years proposing to you to spend the night with him?

Oh hell yeah!

“Captain (f/n)?”

You blink and shake yourself realizing you didn’t answer him.

“Yes, sir. This is a very… tempting offer.”

He leans back to kiss your cheek and whisper in your ear.

“Then join me at my suite in two hours. I will wait… patiently for you.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You knock on his door with a flustered heart, feeling light with butterflies in the stomach. You took a thorough shower, combed your hair with a drop of perfume and passed on a fresh uniform.

“Enter.” you hear a welcoming voice.

The room is large, decorated with taste. A melody floats in the air with the scent of petits fours, and the distinct sound of a glass bottle. In the middle of the room is a large sofa with Thrawn slouching on it like a tired king. He stands up as he sees you approaching.

“Captain (F/n). Welcome.”

You wince at the title. You hoped you could be on a first name basis now.

“Thank you Grand Admiral.”

“Please, call me Thrawn. May I address you by your first name?”

“Of course.”

“Wonderful, please take a seat.” He gestures to the sofa and you sit, pressing your legs together. He sits close next to you, brushing his leg to yours. “I took the liberty to prepare a bottle of champagne for us.”

“Alcohol again? Are you trying to get me drunk, Grand Ad-Thrawn?” you ask with a smirk.

His hand holding a glass stops mid movement.

“I am sorry, it was never my intention. Please refrain if you think it is necessary.”

“No, it's good.” You take the glass from his hand. “I need something to relax.”

“Am I that terrible?” he asks, tilting his head.

“No, it’s just…” you click your tongue, thinking about your next words. “I loved you for so long, I am a bit nervous.” you confess, turning to meet his gaze.

His hand comes caressing your cheek, pushing away a strand of hair.

“(Y/n), you have nothing to worry about. I hoped for this night to happen for long on my part too.”

Your heart flutters at those words and you press your cheek against his palm.

“Really?”

“Yes. You have enchanted me with your spirit and you plagued my dreams from our first encounter. I cannot believe that you are here tonight.”

You take his hand and kiss his palm.

“I am truly here, Thrawn.”

“To my utmost joy.” He leans forward, approaching his lips but letting you the choice to close the gap.

You don’t have to be asked twice! You close your eyes and brush your lips with his before pressing them firmly. The touch is soft and inviting. His tongue comes part your lips apart to enter your mouth and hug your tongue. You let him enter without hesitation. His hand cups your head, combing through your hair, you moan in the kiss and you feel the vibrations of a chuckle.

You part reluctantly. He presses his forehead against yours, both taking back your breath.

“Before we proceed further.” He warns “I want you to know what you are engaging yourself with.” he says breathily.

You nod silently, all ears.

“I am not merely proposing to you a one night stand. I do not have time for trials and errors and stories without any futures.” He whispers. “I hope… We could build something together. A long lasting story à deux.”

You blink. He’s suggesting you become a couple?

“Are you willing to try?”

You nod enthusiastically.

“Yes. Yes!”

“My love is demanding and sometimes selfish. Are you sure you want that?” He warns you.

You take his head in your two hands and kiss him feverishly.

“Yes! That is all I ever wanted. Thrawn… I am so happy!”

He caresses your cheek and kisses you back.

“I love you, (y/n).”

“I love you Thrawn. I love you so much!” You throw yourself at him, to his surprise.

You push him on the sofa and straddle him, pressing your body on his, kissing him fiercely. He combs his fingers in your head, squeezing you tight with a deep rumble coming from his chest.

“I did not know chiss could growl like that.”

He grins snarky.

“You have no idea what I can do, cha’cah.” he bites your lower lips.

He rises back and stands up, holding your hands.

“Follow me, my darling.”

You smile broadly at the surname.

“Can I give you a nickname too?”

He guides you to his bedroom, another large room with a double bed that looks real comfy and… inviting.

“Of course.”

“My love?”

“I would be honored.”

“Sweetheart?”

“As you wish, cha’cah.” He pushes you against the wall, pressing your warm bodies together

“Honey booboo?” You stick your tongues out.

“Alright, you are pushing it.” He bites and nibbles the crook of your neck.

“Isn’t that why you love me?” you gasp.

“Oh, I do love you very much. Especially with your little humor, but I am not going to allow everything.”

“Oh.” You falsely pout “You’re no fun.”

“That is your role, cha’cah.” He kisses back your lips, his tongue pushing to enter your mouth and hug yours. You let him pass, meeting his tongue with delight. His lips are soft and warm, getting swollen as the kiss gets languorous. “You are my little jokester.”

“Your favorite jester?”

“You are more than that.” He grumbles in the kiss.

You giggle and jump into his mighty arms, circling his hips with your legs. He carries you no problem and falls with you on the bed, you yelp in surprise. His body weight cuts your breath, but you hold him even tighter. You seize his face and start pecking him all over with a growl.

Muah! Muah! Muah! You sparkle a surname between each kiss, showering him with love.

“My love! My Grand Admiral! My Prince! My heart!...”

You press his cheeks to make him look like a fish and explode laughing.

“You are having fun?” he asks patiently.

“Sorry…” you cry “I couldn’t resist!” you release his face to hold your ribs laughing.

He pinches your cheek.

“Look at you. I will make you wear a buffoon costume.”

“Promise?”

He sighs, his shoulders lowering.

“You are not supposed to want it.”

“But it is such a good idea!”

“You are impossible.” He smiles, lowering himself on you and kisses you softly.

It isn’t like the earlier hasty kiss, this one is soft and slow, gentle. His lips travel on your mouth, your cheeks, your jaw, your neck… You hear him purr loudly, like a satisfied tiger.

“I love you.” He whispers again.

“I love you too…” You comb your fingers through his hair.

“I cannot get enough of you.” He peppers kisses everywhere on your face, waving his body against yours. You can feel his bulge rubbing against your core.

You try to purr in unison with him, but only manage a gurgling. He grins at your effort.

“You do not have the vocal cord for that.”

You pout.

“Not fair.”

He takes your hand and places them on his chest.

“Listen.”

You both remain still in the arms of the other, listening to him purr and feeling it through your palms, all the little vibrations and waves. His head is buried in your neck while he caresses your back, lazily kissing the crook.

“It’s amazing.” you let out, absolutely fascinated. “What else can you do?”

“Many things.” He grazes his lips against your forehead “We Chiss are capable of numerous things human males cannot.”

“Like what?” you murmur, deadly curious.

“You will see in a given time.” he purrs.

You bite your lips, you don’t wanna wait, you want to know! You start unbuttoning his jacket to gain access to his chest, hurriedly pulling on his shirt to uncover his abs and pecs. You let your hands travel and roam around his warm skin and wiggle your way under him to kiss his chest.

“Let me get rid of that.” He sighs satisfied.

He rises on his knees and starts undressing, you follow the movement and sit down, ending up at eye-level with his bulge, you press your palm on it, feeling warmth emanated from under the fabric. You knead him through his pants, playing with his hidden cock.

The bulge is massive! It makes you drool in anticipation. You can’t wait to play with it. You gesture towards it but Thrawn slaps your hand.

“Do not touch.”

“Ouch!” You protest “Why?”

“I will take care of that.”

You pout. He took a delectable candy from you.

He chuckles.

“Do not fret, cha’cah. I will give it to you.”

You snarl.

“But I want to play with it, to taste it…”

“Another time, I promise you.” He says falling down on you.

You are crushed under his weight, but it feels comforting and safe. His hands roam your body and one find its way in your pants, gently stroking your clit and trailing your slit. You mewl and wave your body under his touch. He nibbles your neck, leaving hickeys everywhere.

“Mmmmmmmmh.” He sighs “I wanted to claim you like a beast, but I will rather make love to you all night long.”

“Why did you changed your mind?”

“You being adorable. I want to take care of you.”

“I protest, sir. A good fuck is of upmost importance to take care of me.”

“Tomorrow then. Tonight I will hold you and love you gently.” He purrs.

You bury your nose in his neck, inhaling his musk and cologne. He smell so good! You lick his shoulder, the alcohol of the perfume stinging your tongue.

He enters you with one finger, teasing your entrance, curling his knuckles. You press your thighs shut, locking up his hand in its place. He locates your gummy spot and grazes it gently, circling it with the pad of his finger. You moan in his ear and bite it.

You press his body on top of yours, circling his waist with your legs and his shoulders with your arms. You comb your fingers in his hair, disheveling him. He pushes another finger into your leaking sex and scissors you thoroughly. You feel your pussy contracting around his fingers as he stretches you so deliciously.

“Thrawn….” You whimper.

“Mmh? Vocalize your bliss cha’cah. I like to know I am giving you pleasure.”

“I think I am ready for you.” you press him.

“I am the one to decide that.” He gently chides, “Let me check.”

He takes out his fingers and inspect them.

“No you are not. See my fingers? They should be dripping.”

You frown.

“I… I have never done that before.” You inform.

“You are capable of it. I trust you.” He approaches his fingers to your mouth “Give yourself a bit of help.”

You open your mouth and taste yourself on his fingers. It’s rather salty. You lick them clean, lapping them conscientiously. He purrs approvingly and takes them out. You lick you lips clean with an exaggerated satiated expression. He kisses your cheek.

“Never change, cha’cah.”

He re-enters you and fingers you aggressively, draining moans and sobs from you. You dig your nails in his shoulders to hold on. His lips travel down your nipple that he licks and glides over. He takes it in his mouth, sucking on it and gently bites into it. You can’t help but yelp in pain and excitement.

He keeps scratching your g-spot until your pussy convulses on his fingers and you suddenly squirt in his hand.

“See?” He chuckles, “You could do it.” He shows you his dripping fingers.

You nod, still a bit shocked that it happened. It was unprompted but apparently it was part of Thrawn’s plan all along. He surely is confident in his abilities to give you pleasure, you’ll give him that.

He finishes pulling down your pants and spreads your legs wide apart, placing himself between them. He opens his trouser and finally free his cock. It is blue like the rest of his skin safe for the tip that is purplish, it has ridges all along the length almost like scales but of soft flesh.

Well, soft, if it wasn’t painfully erected that is.

The girth and length are consequent, but it is okay. You like a challenge!

You lick your lips and open your pussylips with two fingers, titillating him, daring him to enter you.

He slightly grins and aligns himself with you, pushing his swollen member inside you delicately. You open your mouth round, he’s maybe larger than you first anticipated…

He kisses your lips gently once he’s fully inside your leaking sex.

Maker, he is so large! He stretches your poor pussy so, so much. You are stuffed to the brim, like you were made for him.

“Mmmmmmmmh.” He hums appreciatively “You are perfect for my cock, you are strangling it just like you should.”

“Move, please, please, please.” you demand, on the verge of explosion.

“Of course cha’cah, anything for you.”

He starts to rock his hips in a deep and languorous manners, hitting deep into you, waving his hot body against yours. You observe his cock disappearing into your sex, utterly fascinated. His ridged dick feels so good inside you, the ridges graze deliciously the wall of your puffy pussy, your swollen walls embracing his girth with ease like a fluffy pillow.

It feels so good.

He alternates between thrust and circling motions of the hips, always loving and profound, reaching the depths of your being.

He is slow and languid, delicate and loving, never stopping kissing you languorously, robbing you of your breath. He hits your cervix with ease, a creamy O at the base of his cock.

“Can I come inside?” He asks after rolling his hips against yours to oblivion.

Your pussy is spasming and contracting around him like it’s trying to keep it inside, but your slick makes it slippery.

You nod, out of breath, face hot and body sweating. You hold onto for dear life. The pace is slow but it feels like too much for you, he puts so much love in each thrust you’ve never felt adored like that before, so much you feel tears rolling on your cheeks.

He looks at you confounded.

“Why are you crying? Did I do something wrong, did I hurt you?” He immediately worries.

“No, no.” you sniff. “It’s nothing. I’m good. Continue.”

“You are sure?”

“Yes.” You kiss his cheek and hold him tighter. “Continue, don’t stop.”

He resumes his thrusts with a quicker pace, making you bob up and down.

You feel something weird.

Something is growing inside you…

His movement became erratics and with a final push he cums deep inside you, hot ribbons of seed that your pussy milks for all its worth. You came with a gasp of his name, clenching all around his shaft and the weird mass you feel inside.

He lays on you, out of breath, kissing the side of your neck. As you try to move you realize you're stuck. You lower your gaze, wondering why you can’t move.

“Do not worry, it is perfectly normal.” He reassures you.

“But what is…”

You open your eyes round when you see the bulge of your tummy, is it…?

“You have a knot?” you ask, dumbfounded.

“Indeed.” He nods “I told you Chiss could do impossible things to humans.It will ensure you have been properly bred and you will become pregnant.”

“I’m…” you’re completely out of words “I’m on pill.”

“A pity.” He brushes his nose with yours “We will have the occasion to speak about it.”

You nods, eyes fixated on the bulge.

“You do not like it.” you hear a hint of sadness in his voice “It repulses you?”

“What? No! No, no ,no no! It doesn’t repulse me.” You hold his face in your hands lovingly. “It just surprised me, that’s all. I swear it’s good.”

“It does not weird you out?” he inquires, a tad worried.

“No. I quite like it actually. It’s exotic and…”

“Alien?” He has a lopsided grin.

“Yes.” you chuckle “A bit alien can’t hurt. I like everything about you, that included.”

“I am glad.” He pecks your lips.

“Plus it might come in use at some point.” you cheerfully joke.

“I very much hope so.”

“But not now!” you temper. You are not ready to become a mother yet!

“We will have a long discussion about it” he promises.

“And how long does it stay swollen?”

“It depends, between minutes to one hour.”

You choke.

“One hour?!”

He hums, nodding.

“We can stay like that while it lasts.” He calms you down “In each other's arms. I cannot think of anything better.”

“No, you are right.”

@bluechiss @thrawnalani @justanothersadperson93 @al-astakbar

@thrawnspetgoose @readinglistfics @elise2174 @debonaire-princess

☆Tag list

#thrawn x reader #thrawn x you #thrawn x f!reader #thrawn #grand admiral thrawn #mitth’raw’nuruodo #fanfic #vibratingskull #thrawn smut

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aquaquadrant · 23 days

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Hello! I've been told to ask you this =D

What do you think about Jimmy as a minecraft player, what is he?

It's for a project =3

ooh a project, how fun :0

i should preface this by saying i’m not the BEST person to give this opinion, cuz despite how much i write jimmy, i uh… don’t actually watch his pov? i haven’t seen any of empires (except the hermit’s crossover in s2), i don’t watch his streams, and i don’t watch the one-off vids he posts on his channel. most of my knowledge of jimmy comes from his appearances in other pov’s life series episodes and how ppl portray him in fandom.

howEVER, that said, i’m curious how my interpretation would line up with other ppl’s. i view minecraft players as generally fitting into a few broad categories- tho there can def be overlap between them or a jack-of-all-trades situation. and this prob applies more to people who actually play minecraft professionally (ie. ‘play video games for a living’) than the casual player (such as myself hagshdha).

builders: have a creative eye and practiced skill in building to the point where they can, generally speaking, throw down a decent build on the fly (things that require a lot of planning/detail work often drafted in creative mode first). have good understanding of achieving a certain shape and color with their block placements. may or may not include terraforming ability. generally drawn to the game’s building aspect and spend a lot of time/care making things look good.

redstoners: have an adequate amount of base knowledge for how most redstone components work and interact with each other, tho they may occasionally still use tutorials or take inspiration from others (can only reinvent the wheel so many times). usually capable of making simple redstone machines/contraptions on the fly. generally drawn to the game by the possibility of farms and automation. some take it to extreme game-breaking lengths (doc).

competitors: have highly-trained skill in areas such as PVP, parkour, and/or any other multiplayer server type minigame. think hypixel and MCC. this isn’t to say they don’t have their own solo worlds for building or other projects, or don’t participate in smps, but their main draw to the game initially was competitive multiplayer and it features heavily on their channels. to me, speed-runners/challenge-seekers are a subcategory of this.

explorer: this type doesn’t actually show up often in popular mcyt bc it’s a largely solitary- and in some ppl’s opinion, boring- experience. but these are the players that spend hours in their solo worlds just traveling around, mining out massive caves, or doing any other kind of repetitive grindy work as a manner of relaxation. some ppl really enjoy this aspect of minecraft and it’s a major draw for them. special mention for kurtjmac, a mcyter who’s spent 13 years and counting just walking to the farlands in an old version of the game (tho he does other things on his channel as well).

and now for what category i think jimmy fits best in (which again, doesn’t mean he can’t build or do other things). i don’t have a good name for it rn so i’m just gonna call it ‘the sillies’ (affectionate).

sillies: above all else, they’re here to have fun. most, if not all, of their content is on multiplayer worlds (both public servers and private smps), and on these worlds they are extremely social, making a concentrated effort to interact with others even if not legitimately roleplaying. high amounts of pranks and hijinks abound, as well as ‘committing to the bit.’ lots of videos feature them doing some kind of funny little challenge, game, or mod with their friends. again, that doesn’t mean they can’t engage w the other aspects of the game or be skilled in those categories, but generally, it’s not their main objective and not how they spend most of their time.

that’s what i’ve got! obviously u could split all of these into many subcategories, and your average player is gonna be fairly well-balanced. but for our pro cubitos, i think this is a nice way to categorizing things (and it at least makes sense in my mind).

#hermitcraft #empires smp #solidaritygaming #back in my day minecraft only had two genders: miner and crafter #(LMAOOOOOO)#ty for the ask it was neat to get my thoughts down on this

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divinekangaroo · 6 months

Text

Thanks @palmviolet for tagging me!

How many works do you have on AO3? 154

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 900k

3. What fandoms do you write for? Peaky Blinders, Final Fantasy XII, Final Fantasy VII, Dragon Age II, The Professionals.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? Interesting and not straightforward question: I've been writing since 2007 and only rebooted my fics to AO3 in 2023. I backdated them to time of writing rather than posting live into the current update stream. I was vaguely curious to see what *actually* attracts readers through the AO3 search engine. So, my current top five are all Peaky Blinders Tommy/Lizzie fics, and given my small followers list, everyone following me will probably already have read them!

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I do, and it’s my vain (both senses of the term) struggle with how to do it appropriately. I am conscious of how comments, particularly on an AO3 "archival" fic, can weight a reader's further interpretation/engagement of or with fic by that author, and that I'll never put so much time into comments as I do into fic.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? 7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? The fics I thought of picking for these two pretty much overlapped. Perhaps this shows just how I approach happiness – it’s moments, it’s never an ending.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Only old Dragon Age fics. Interesting period of time where any fic author that didn't unequivocally support the moral rightness of one particular character's opinions was targeted. Like: ok to write torture/rape fics of this character, but only if it was clear the author thought this character was morally right. Such a destructive troll.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I'll write sex, mostly as part of a larger arc rather than standalone smut; often it is a partial scenario rather than linear start-to-end event written in a rhythm to support a coherent wanking rise-to-climax read. I'm pleased if people find it pushes their buttons, but I'm also not bothered if it doesn't. I do approach smut as one of many possible lenses or frames for a character, however, so smut that detaches from character confuses me.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? Sometimes but they have to feel really right. I think I tend more to fusion or pastiche (I think those are the terms?) rather than crossover: I take a particular character concept/theme and port them into a particular environmental context which is not possible in the canon to see what happens. The only one I still have up is a FFXII/Dragonriders of Pern fic (incomplete) which was going to be all about the horrible knowledge of socially accepted and endorsed ritualised rape and forced feminisation of a character.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? I'm not that popular to notice.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? I have a memory of one in FFXII but can't recall.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes! Taught me a lot, including the kind of writer I am - difficult to collaborate as my push to complete within a motivational urge period will always be greater than a long-haul effort, and I struggle to be available for other people. I’m either good at the front end ideas-generation, or a micro detail ‘write this particular thing/scene and fill it with goodness’, and not very good at the middle bit – the long slot of planning and plotting and aiming for consistency etc. I am so grateful fandom exists to support non-traditional prose formats which let me play with writing and thinking and engagement without needing to produce to book-style production standards.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship? I usually fixate on a character, and pairings allow means to explore that character rather than being an end game.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Oh they all carry this potential. *cries* The issue for me is loss of motivational drive/thinking; because I rarely have good structural notes etc if I lose my immediate thread of 'thinking of everything all at once' I find it hard to pick up again later. I also stop some fics because I realise how ambitious the scope really is, and I feel like I can’t do them justice.

16. What are your writing strengths? Speed-sketcher? Completionist? Tests multiple ideas rapidly and freely and never worries about something 'being wrong' because there's always another fic to try? Intuitive gut level hits on characterisation here and there?

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Editing, pacing, I can't sustain long fic, I frequently move characters around like paper dolls for the sake of the cool and forget they need their own internal motivation.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I prefer the kind of cant-based/dialect-based approach which splices non-English terms fluidly into English dialogue, mostly because as a child of many migrants this has been my world experience. I do suck at writing this, hence my frequent use of cop-outs to say 'language shift here, meanwhile still writing in English'. But when it’s done well it hits so many of my sweet spots.

19. First fandom you wrote for? FFVII.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? Anything in my Personal Favourites list: https://archiveofourown.org/series/3728710. (I'm still too close to Peaky Blinders to pick a fav, it'll take about five years of distance!)

#my writing

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puppy-pie · 2 months

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Hello! :3

I'm unsure if I should really even be asking this, but I am personally curious about petplay? I have been leaning towards getting into it, and I feel ashamed of myself about it, and I was looking to see if someone could possibly just give a little intel on it and stumbled across your blog!

-⚰️🪷 anon (if anyone hasn't claimed it already)

Omg hiiii! First of all I just wanna tell you love, you’re my first claimed anon! So congrats!!

Second off, I wanna say that pet play is such a BROAD kink there’s no “correct” way to answer your question! I highly advise you to do more research than what I answer :] if you’d like more specifics just let me know! I’ll post something more in depth!!

So, to break it down more simply, pet play is just another form of dominant/submissive kink (doesn’t always have to be, but commonly is! It’s totally alright to have dom on dom or sub on sub stuff as well!) It’s a type of relationship where one (or more) partners will take on a more animalistic role/trait abt themselves! Most relationships will take on an owner/pet relationship, where the owner has a more dominant role over their submissive pet. Like I said, there are variants of pet play relationships though, so research up!

Pet play comes in varying degrees of…hm I guess intensity? Some people are more strict in their versions, whereas other people prefer a relaxed style. Since pet play is a ROLE there isn’t really a limit to what is and isn’t allowed in it. Popular pet roles include puppies, kittens, bunnies, ponies, and even cows! To some, simplistic dominant/submissive roleplay with pet like terms is good, to others dressing as full leather/latex adorned puppies is their schtick. It’s all up to personal opinion! There’s plenty of costumes, gear, and accessories to help aspiring pet players find what they wish to engage in. Me personally, I consider myself about a mid-level pet player. I like tails and ears, I like leashes and muzzles, and I absolutely adore being called and treated as a puppy. Many pet players will also use real pet items, such as food dishes or crates/kennels, to enhance their experience.

Another thing abt it is that pet play can be paired with other kinks! I myself have quite a few tacked on there, they’re listed in my pinned post if you’d like to see! Behavior and reward/punishment are common in pet play, so is praise, lots of stuff really! Once again it’s just a matter of preference!!

Now, let’s get to what pet play is NOT:

- Pet Play is not beastiality

- Pet Play is not inherently furry centered (though you can be both!!)

- Pet Play is not gross

All scenes and relationships within pet play should be consensual, of age, and made with firm expression of boundaries and limits. Please remember that you have the right to change your mind when experimenting with pet play AT ANY TIME. Your consent is YOURS. It is important. And don’t feel ashamed honey! It’s perfectly natural to explore kink and to explore a more…how you say….carnal side of yourself! The community is wide and accepting, I’m sure you’ll find something to fit you!

Please let me know if you’d like a further in depth explanation from my end on any of the above topics, or if you need any help! Love you hun! Happy exploring 💖

#queer nsft #t4t nsft #trans nsft #ftm nsft #ftm puppy #puppy sub #puppyposting #sub posting #petpl4y #petpl@y #bdsmkink #bd/sm puppy #explanation #anon ask #send anons #thanks anon!

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luckycharms1701 · 3 months

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Hewoo Friendo!

I’m so excited to hear that you’re getting more asks! People are finally noticing your fabulousness! Look at you being so popular *nudge nudge* 😏

That being said, thank you for the update with the asks!! Please take care and I’m glad to hear you’re pacing your yourself! That beautiful mind of yours needs to be taken care of! Please drink the water too!

Just had quick ask specifically for the Rise boys when and if you’re feeling up to it, but I would be very curious to see how a hugging competition would go amongst the boys.

I was thinking that the boys just found out that you’re extremely touch starved and need a little bit more of some physical loving, specifically hugs. I was thinking about how do each of the boys hugs and how would they try to prove themself in a “silent” rivalry as the “champ of hugs” and who in your opinion would give the best hugs and why?

You’re a bootiful hooman and the worlds a better place because you’re in it! 🧡✨🌎

howdy anon-chan!! 😉 you’re so sweet, thank you! 🧡✨

🙈🙈🙈 oh hush! you’re going to give away my secret that i’m just a puddle of feelings. i do love answering the asks though, everyone has such amazing ideas! like this one! the boys would make such a competition of this!

time for some hugs!! 🫂

Raph: This boy starts out slow and careful when hugging you, making sure that none of his spikes get you or that he’s not hugging you too hard. But once he’s confident that you’re safe, be ready to be engulfed. Raph makes a point of covering as much of you as he can, which is a significant amount. You will be picked up, there is no choice in the matter. His favorite part is when you hug him back, wrapping your arms around his neck.

Raph is definitely paying attention to the “competition” but he doesn’t participate the way his brothers do. He feels that his hugs speak for themselves, so he doesn’t need to prove himself. He is honestly correct.

Leo: Leo grabs you and twirls you into his arms, very casually showing off how coordinated he is. He gives a big squeeze at first that takes your breath away, then it softens a bit as he nuzzles into you. There is definitely some quip involved, unless he’s been worried about you, in which case he gets a little genuine on you and tells you exactly what you need to hear. He will pout if you don’t quip back, so be prepared for that.

We all know how Leo is about competitions. He’s always bragging about how he definitely has the best hugs, and just bulldozes right over anyone who says differently. In Leo’s world, there is no question who’s winning the competition. He is, of course, only sometimes correct.

Donnie: Donnie is always willing to give a hug when it’s needed. It might start out a little awkward, because he’s not sure what you’re looking for. Once he’s got the right formula for your preferred hugs though, you’ll melt into his arms. His hugs are always firm and last longer than you would expect them to. He would never in a million years admit it, but he needs the hugs as much as you do. You’re doing him as much of a favor as he’s doing you.

Donnie likes to smugly talk about how you seek him out for hugs. Clearly his hugs are the most superior. He ignores any attempts to point out that you have to seek him out for hugs, he doesn’t normally initiate them with you.

Mikey: Every hug is a little different. Squishing your faces together. Picking you up and twirling you around. A tight squeeze from behind. No matter how he hugs you though, it’s exactly what you need. He uses his emotional intelligence ruthlessly to his advantage, making sure he knows exactly what you need. And it always ends with him heaving a happy sigh before he lets you go.

Any talk of who gives the best hugs is just going to make Mikey demonstrate how superior his hugging skills are. You will get accosted at all kinds of weird times while Mikey yells about how obviously his hugs are the best, look at how you’re snuggling in his arms right now??

As for who I think gives the best hugs? That’s hard to say. Each one is an excellent hugger and I could see myself going to a different boy depending on the day I was having. I suppose it would be a tossup between Mikey and Raph. Mikey because I like variety and you never quite know what you’re going to get. Raph because the idea of just being completely smothered in a hug sounds heavenly when you’re feeling touch starved and overwhelmed.

I think perhaps the best hugs are when it’s all four of them. Being in the center of a turtle pile sounds amazing. The best of all worlds.

~~~~~~~

head bonks: @yorshie @avery73 @justalotoffanfiction @thejudiciousneurotic @writinandcrying @xnorthstar3x @morenovix218

#tmnt #rise raph #rise leo #rise donnie #rise mikey #theory tag #aughhh i want a hug now #sorry morenovix i can't figure out why your tag isn't working 😭#maybe it'll work on the next one

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polyamorouspunk · 7 months

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So when I was in class the other day the guy I’ve been talking to said “I don’t care if Banda have allegations against them, if I like the music I’m listening to them” which was honestly kind of startling! I know overall tumblr is a bit more “woke”, but it made me curious with what other people think, along with learning that a singer a band I listen to kicked out got accepted back in after the “allegations”. For the purposes of this poll, I want people to look beyond bands if they don’t listen to a lot of bands that have “allegations” against them. That, and I don’t want to limit it to sexual allegations. This can be anything from bigotry to just being a dick, etc. obviously some stuff has different weight to it, but I don’t want to pigeonhole just sexual allegations. There will be a variety of opinions on the poll. I encourage people to just pick whatever they feel fits them the best. This is really just another one of those things where the psych major in me is curious what popular sentiment is. I’m capping it at a day because while I like being curious I also don’t like to drag things out that I know will cause drama. Answers are anonymous unless you comment/reblog/send an ask with your opinion so don’t feel bad about voting for something you feel is “morally wrong” if you feel like it’s true.

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avelera · 1 year

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Genuinely curious, in GS what are some of the reasons Dream starts falling for Hob? In the beginning he’s more open to talking about his grief and relating to another human being, why is that? I do absolutely get the answers of this from the fic I’m just interested in hearing your thoughts 💖

Ooh, thank you, Anon, this is such an exciting question! Consider this an official "Giving Sanctuary" Behind the Scenes look!

Let me just quickly get the Doylist reason for Dream being so in love with Hob from the beginning in GS out of the way first:

I had, at that point, seen a lot of fics where Hob has the uphill battle of wooing Dream and/or Dream spent most of the fic coming around to the fact he was in love with Hob. Which makes a lot of sense! Dream is very closed off with his emotions and in denial about so many things about himself. There is a lot of evidence for a read that any relationship between Hob and Dream is going to require Hob to continue to be the emotionally open one and slowly chip away at Dream's reticence and denial of any and all emotion.

But it's been done. It's been done by really heckin' good writers so around ch. 2 of writing GS I had a discussion with my incredible beta reader @thornfield13713 (without whom this fic would simply not exist) and the outcome of the conversation was, "Hey, what if Dream did know that he's in love in this fic? And what if Dream fell head over heels with Hob in 1689 right there at the White Horse and acted upon it?"

I was so excited and amused by the idea I couldn't resist going with it! Further discussions with amazing people like @fishfingersandscarves made me even more convinced of the hilarity of a fic that extrapolated on Dream's heart eyes in 1689 when Hob says he has, "so much to live for," to full on teenage crush territory, doing the Dream equivalent of giggling and twirling his hair. Why? Because Dream is sadness-sexual and Hob is suddenly (after a bath) hot to him! He has this long romance novel cover hair, an open shirt revealing his manly chest hair, and an air of tragedy about him which was catnip for Depression of the Endless here. (Fishy did some HILARIOUS doodles while we were brainstorming this!).

And the thing is, there is evidence for this version of Dream! Dream goes from zero to a million with Nada, the whole relationship lasts about a day I think?? So there's actually plenty of evidence that once Dream knows he's in love, he's not actually that repressed! He goes for it! Even with Alianora they basically get introduced and he says more or less "if we're to be lovers, I'll give you my heart, my constancy, and my love forever". They just met!

When it comes to love, Dream in the comics is actually quite a romantic! To the point where the popular fanon that he doesn't know love feels like might be a disservice. If anything (and this appears in GS) the reason he's hesitant to be demonstrative at first with Hob is because of traumatic events in his life like Nada?

So I asked myself, what if Dream does actually have a modicum of a sense of responsibility to not repeat that mistake that he made with Nada, and so he knows he's in love with Hob but hesitant to give in until he can be 100% sure he's not going to hurt the person he loves again, and then he's hesitant because, like a self-aware adult, he realizes that Hob feels beholden to him for getting him off the street and so Dream resolves to let Hob make the first move? (Made all the more hilariously tragic because Hob decides to let Dream make the first move because of his fears of losing the friendship.)

So anyway, that was the reason I wanted to write a Dream that knows he's in love from the outset BUT, let's dive into the Watsonian, in-universe answers to your question because I adore talking about it so much!

So in the fic, Dream's original, "Oh," moment where he fell in love was the one we see, in my opinion, canonically on screen in the show when Dream gives Hob that ridiculously soft and wondering look when he says, "Death is a mug's game, I've got so much to live for."

However, the actual divergence point from canon, the reason Dream doesn't just feel the first soft stirring of An Emotion towards Hob but then still just fucks off for another hundred years, is the decision to prolong the night by going to another pub but more importantly, it's when Hob offers his sympathies about Orpheus.

But even then, when Hob offers his sympathies? Dream doesn't offer almost anything back! In fact, if you read the dialogue closely, Dream is pretty much entirely focused on himself and only himself during that entire conversation, up until the very end when he offers Hob a place to sleep for the night.

Thing is, Dream in GS is the softest I ever write him, but he's still not a great person in Ch. 1, he's actually incredibly selfish and self-centered, and there's a very deliberate reason for that! This ties into your question of exactly how and why Dream falls in love so hard and fast with Hob there. Let me explain:

It's my belief that one of the most insidious aspects of grief and depression (clinical or otherwise) is how it isolates us. But more important, how it makes us turn inward, which exacerbates the isolation. Dream has been mourning the death of his son at this point for give-or-take 2,500 years. He's marinated in that grief. He has turned inward, and selfish, and cold, and cruel because of it. The pain is real but it's a pain so intense to him that it makes him completely blind to the pain of others. It has arrested his development, his maturity, and his empathy for others entirely, so he is effectively operating at a teenage or early 20-something emotional level ever since. He sees slights everywhere, he thinks subjectively if not objectively that no one has suffered as profoundly as he has. He feels abandoned by his family and he feels like no one in his life understands his grief.

Some of this is based in fact! He is, in fact, the only Endless to have a child they care about (that I know of so that is canon to the fic) so none of his other siblings could really empathize with him or offer him more than platitudes.

Even worse, Destiny, Destruction, and Death, his three favorite siblings arguably, all directly or indirectly led to Orpheus's death, with Destruction encouraging him to go to the Underworld after Eurydice, Destiny warning Death not to offer the boon of Super Immortality, and Death abiding by Destiny's recommendation since he gives those so rarely. But not only did they not stop Orpheus they didn't warn Dream so he could take this moment more seriously and possibly intervene.

Now, would Dream have listened? Probably not! But with 20/20 hindsight, his bitterness was compounded by the (likely incorrect) belief that if he had just known everything that Destiny, Death, and Destruction knew, he could or would have prevented Orpheus's death. Or at the very least if he had known that he was about to lose his son, and there was no stopping it, he could have at least enjoyed their final days together. Of course that would have altered events significantly but it's also very unlikely Dream would have altered his own actions even with the knowledge that Orpheus was going after Eurydice. Dream's conclusions that he would have taken action if he'd known everything (except that Orpheus was doomed) are illogical thoughts based on grief, not objective reality or self-awareness, but they've compounded Dream's bitterness and isolation towards his own family before the fic begins, unlike in canon, where Orpheus still being a severed head means Dream's grief and blame is much more complicated and thus intractable.

Likewise, Calliope also officially broke ties with Dream as a result of his coldness towards Orpheus after he met Eurydice and his failure to prevent Orpheus's death (viewing Dream much the same way Dream views his siblings' lack of intervention) so Dream was truly alone and stewing with his grief for millennia.

Enter Hob Gadling, who recently lost his son. Who, counter to everything Dream expected after seeing that Hob had a son and a wife he loved in 1589, has not given up on life the way Dream has. Dream is actively wishing to die in GS as a result of Orpheus's death and only held back by the weight of his responsibilities, which I think is pretty much canonical to the comic series.

Now, I've ranged far from my point, but to swing back to it: Dream is still in a very selfish and inward-facing place in Ch. 1, even as he helps Hob. To be clear, he doesn't fall in love for Hob's sake in that moment, he falls in love very narcissistically with the projection of his own grief in another person. When Dream says, "[I'm not weeping for you] I'm weeping for myself," he's telling the truth. He sees in Hob's misery and rags and suffering the outward projection of how Dream feels every single day since Orpheus died. He sees in Hob's isolation how Dream feels after being (he feels) abandoned by Calliope and his siblings. Dream feels like he's looking in a mirror at himself right after Orpheus's death (absurd as that might from a material angle given all the power he has vs. Hob's destitution). He's not quite taking Hob out for another drink at that moment, he's taking "Dream the Day Orpheus Died" out for a drink and only slooowly over the course of the conversation begins to see Hob for his own sake, not just a reflection of himself.

Arguably he didn't invite Hob out to the Penny Whistle to help Hob but because he's having feelings for this reflection of his own pain. He's still too depressed and inward-facing to really be cognizant of Hob's grief, he only sees his own, so being with Hob is still a form of sort of wallowing at this point.

But the thesis of the story, and indeed, my own emotional thesis around grief and depression and healing, is that helping someone else begins to break down those walls. Not entirely, but it's a start. Hob's moment of selflessness, when he takes a break from his own grief to care for Dream, is the first crack in the ice that's encased Dream for millennia. Taking care of Hob over the course of the story helps Dream widen that gap and, in the course of their conversation at the Penny Whistle, just enough light breaks through the grief that has buried Dream that he begins to see that he has been buried by it.

Up until this point, Dream has just sort of... accepted that his pain and grief are just the world itself. It's just the way of things. The fact that other people like Hob (when he's enjoying life, unlike 1689) can't see that the natural state of the world is pain and darkness make Dream think those people are stupid. It makes him hate them and himself and life. This little crack of light that Hob allows in by showing Dream empathy illuminates for Dream that there is something out there besides his pain. That maybe he is wrong that there's nothing to life but misery. Maybe he is, in fact, trapped by his grief. Maybe, in fact, his grief isn't the truth, but has actually blinded him to the true state of the world around him.

That is really the moment Dream goes from fond of Hob and nominally invested in his survival to head-over-heels, Nada levels of love-at-first-sight obsessed with Hob in an instant. And it's still selfish! I'd argue his love for Nada was selfish in a similar way, falling for someone who made him feel things.

But Dream realizes he's in love! He realizes it the moment that Hob takes his hand and won't let him go and tells him he cares if Dream is there in 100 years and he cares not in any sort of transactional way other than it makes him happy to know that Dream is out there, hopefully happy as well, and that it's an entirely selfless love of Hob's or that it's selfish insofar as Dream's simple continuing existence gives Hob hope of a familiar face every century. He tells Dream, whose parents treated love as transactional at best and unwanted at worst, that Dream doesn't have to do anything for Hob to continue to wish the best for him. Nothing is expected! In fact, Dream didn't have to do anything in the first place, even be kind to Hob, to win this love. In fact he's been pretty awful to Hob, but it doesn't matter, because Hob cares about him anyway just for being himself and being alive and being there in accordance with their agreement to meet once a century.

This is incredibly revelatory for Dream, to simply be cared about and wanted by someone who isn't dependent on him (like a subject) where he can argue that they don't really care about him, they care about his function as Dream Lord. Even Jessamy and Lucienne Dream can dismiss as caring about him because of how he fulfills his function. Which, when one is in a deep depression, can overcome the obvious facts that Jessamy and Lucienne love Dream for who he is, not just for being the Dream Lord! But with Hob, even depression can't make the argument that Hob cares about the Dream Lord and not for Dream, since Hob knows nothing about Dream's function as of yet.

It's impossible to understate how revelatory this moment at the Penny Whistle is for Dream. To have someone who understands his grief about his son, who reaches out in sympathy, who basically says he will fight God for allowing Orpheus to die and says it with complete sincerity. To have someone care and be invested in Dream without any possibility that he does so for his role. To have, for the first time, someone ask Dream if he's ok now about Orpheus's death, even though it was 2,500 years ago! Unlike everyone else, even Calliope, Hob is the first one not to assume that Dream is over it yet, or that he never felt anything at all. Hob is the first fellow grieving father to see Dream and ask him, as a father, if he is still grieving his son, and if he's going to be ok, and if he's actively suicidal about it!

This beat was based on real anecdotes I've read from parents who lose a child, how the mother is often flooded with sympathy and support, but fathers are often ignored as far as their need for support after (just one more way toxic masculinity fails men). My partner said it rang true that, as a man, no one had ever really asked Dream if he was ok after Orpheus died, beyond the initial condolences, and he's not ok. In fact, he's been actively buried in the darkest despair about it ever since!

So Dream falls in love with Hob here. Yes, it's for selfish reasons at first, that Hob finally gives Dream the sympathy he's always craved. But that selfish love of Hob for comforting him is the thread that helps lead Dream out of the dark. Then, over the course of their time together in the Manor House, that hole in the walls of his despair begins to break open even wider. Dream begins to see Hob for who he is and his good qualities. He begins to see Hob's grief over Robyn and sympathize with it for Hob's sake, not just his own. He begins to want to help Hob for his own sake, not just so Hob can say more nice things to Dream, but because he realizes he wants Hob to be happy, and that Dream wants to be happy, and that together they don't need to suffer like this. He begins to look around, finally, and see how Lucienne is afraid of his anger, though she's done nothing wrong, and that Jessamy cares deeply for him and suffers discomfort on his behalf because of her motherly love for him.

The selfish love leads him to selfless love and really, that's why it's all over for Dream with regards to Hob. He has been drowning for millennia and Hob is the first breath of air he's had. He's basically high on the first positive emotions he's felt since Orpheus died, and it's thanks to Hob.

Dream's emotions are immature as a result of that arrested development, because Dream hasn't felt anything consistently good since Orpheus died. He is, in fact, effectively a teenager! He gets a crush! He's doing the Endless equivalent of giggling and twirling his hair and complimenting Hob for pointing out blindingly obvious things. Dream's body, that he's been basically ignoring except for possibly the occasional physical release of a one-night stand, suddenly springs back to life in embarrassing ways because he's not buried in misery anymore. Dream begins to feel things, physically and emotionally, because finally someone cares about him in the way he needed to be cared about. And so he falls in love, Big Love, Forever Love, with Hob for being there, being the person he needs, for loving him the way he needs. And very fortunately, Hob is over the moon ecstatic to get the chance to shower Dream with that love, because he feels the same way in return!

This is already insanely long. Obviously I have a lot of feelings about this. But it was amazing even to me how much Dream in 1689 specifically clicked with Hob the minute Hob began to share his grief and offer his sympathy to Dream in return. After that, it was amazing I could keep their hands off each other for as long as the story did! Which was, minus Destiny's intervention, one whole entire week lol.

#giving sanctuary #giving sanctuary bts #1689 fic #sandman meta #dreamling

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