#so i’m obviously faking it today. like yeah yesterday i laid in bed for hours then came to your house and sat in a chair. saw me for 30min

[arthur-r]

(vent cw sorry i ran out of room in the tags to say that. it’s illness-related anger as usual. content warning for medical everything)

im so fucking sick though. just in general

#and i am so tired of people acting like they know my experiences better than i do #stayed home from school today falling behind in everything couldn’t fcuking get out of bed and my dad said that yesterday my energy was up #so i’m obviously faking it today. like yeah yesterday i laid in bed for hours then came to your house and sat in a chair. saw me for 30min #you don’t get to tell me that yesterday i was feeling well because i fucking wasn’t and you have never noticed or cared #when i fucking passed out got a black eye from hitting my head on the way down. he didn’t fucking bat an eye #now i’m stuck awake because i have stomach pain and my heart has been pounding so loud for hours #and i’m trying to sleep and i need to make it to school tomorrow but i can’t #and i’ve been trying and i’ve been lying awake. and at this point i don’t know how to deal with this anymore #i get sick three times a month you’re supposed to be sick three times a year. this isn’t even counting days where i can’t stand #when i say i’m sick i mean i have sore throat congestion and sometimes fever. and it’s almost always a direct result of trying to live life #like i went to the mall thursday prom shopping. walked a few hours. woke up next morning sore throat runny nose couldnt focus on school from #all the pain in so many places and all of my regular symptoms just being escalated so badly. cant think can’t see cant stand #and that is messed up!!!! that is messed up!!!! and my mother tells me she finally agrees i need anxiety medicine #like hey thanks!! that’s helpful!! however!! why do you only endorse mental when it’s the only alternative to physical #why has my mom always denied viewing my anxiety as anything i shouldn’t just push aside. until it becomes a way to tell me that my physical #problems should also just be pushed aside. why is it so hard to get an audience with a doctor #ANYWAYS i have my stupid follow up appointment. this friday. i dont know how it’s gonna go down #i’m just going to tell the doctor how much it fucking sucks. i guess i’m going to ask for a referral to a neurology specialist in the cities #which will drive my family insane they don’t want to enter the cities to help me. but our clinic doesn’t have what i need #i might get the doctor to do a stress test on friday though if they can do that. but i want specific autonomic testing #and like yeah. i get that anxiety is in the autonomic system. part of fight flight freeze and what EVER i’m not trying to say it’s not!!!! #but does it occur to anyone that my heightened anxiety is one of several symptoms. rather than somehow being the cause #heart rate in panic attack sitting down is 120bpm. heart rate in normal brain walking down the hallway is 140bpm. it’s not my fucking brain #anyway i just need a doctor to actually fucking look at me. actually do the tests actually monitor. because it’s there if you look #but nobody cares enough to look and i just have to sit here falling behind in all my classes and not able to do my job that i love #and just wait for it to somehow get better when i’ve been like this as long as i can remember and maybe it’s worse now but it’s always been #there and everybody writes it off as me being lazy or not putting in enough work and maybe i would have been in sports as a kid if i could!! #people act like my fitness now is because of choices i made as a child but i have ALWAYS had worse reaction to exercise than my friends #and anyway i just. idk. sore throat and stuff is gone now but overall discomfort and disability is not. but i’m going to school cause i cant #keep missing it for health reasons just have to watch my heart go insane and do nothing. out of tags i’m sorry. i’m just so tired.

[3pirouette]

Fic: Hello, Darling (1/1)

Title: Hello, Darling By: TriplePirouette/3Pirouette Disclaimer: They're not mine. Distribution: AO3  Anyone else please ask first :)

Story Summary:  Instead, he reached for his phone. He hit the only button that seemed to matter at the moment.

Her voice was warm. “Hello, darling.”

“Peg,” he sighed, closing his eyes. “Oh, your voice is just what I needed.”

Angst. Satisfies the Fake Dating a square for the Steggy Bingo Bash. AU, obviously.

A/N: Timeline is as close to sort-of right as I can make it for an AU. 2017 is post Civil War, 2016 is during Civil War, 2014 is during AOU, other time stamps should be self-explanatory. I hope this makes as much sense for everyone else as it does to me- this concept was a little hard to get on paper. I wrote this in about... 2 hours? Couldn’t sleep until I got this out of my brain. Also, I’m sorry. Please get some tissues. More AN at the end.

~*~ 2017

Steve flopped on the bed, wiping his forehead. They’d been training, hard, and he was drained. He and Natasha were spending their days whipping the new iteration of the team into shape and spent their nights sweet talking whatever government officials would listen to them while still trying to stay off the grid.

Their position in multiple areas was shaky, to say the least.

When he couldn’t sleep, which was most of the time, he wrote letters to Bucky, who was still in stasis in Wakanda. The letter writing was a calming ritual, and made him feel closer to his friend when he was doing it, but when he saved the letter instead of sending it, it left him feeling a little more alone than when he started.

He didn’t want to move tonight. He felt empty and exhausted and so very, very much like the small man he used to be on the rickety old bed.

He looked at the second-hand laptop, closed and charging on his desk, and turned away. He couldn’t take that feeling tonight.

Instead, he reached for his phone. He hit the only button that seemed to matter at the moment.

Her voice was warm. “Hello, darling.”

“Peg,” he sighed, closing his eyes. “Oh, your voice is just what I needed.”

Her voice was warm, and there was a smile in it. “Well, I’m just a phone call away, as always.”

“Yeah,” he replied, just a hint of sadness seeping through. He took a deep breath and shifted up on the pillows, closing his eyes and holding the phone tighter to his ear. “We were training again today.”

“How are they pulling together?” She asked, bright and interested. “Has Wanda gained more control?”

“Every day,” he replied quickly, a smile quirking at his face. “She’s more powerful than I think any of us were prepared for, even her. She’s still doubting herself, though.”

Peggy chuckled through the phone. “After what she went through, I’d doubt myself if I were her, too.”

Steve rolled to the side, pulling a pillow tight into his arms. “True.”

“Give her time,” Peggy soothed him. “Think about how long it took you to get the hang of your new body.”

He laughed out loud at that. “What, all thirty seconds or so?”

“I seem to recall you crashing through a store’s front window display fairly immediately.” Her laugh was like bells, light and happy. “Though that was followed by months of tests, followed by months of kick lines.”

Steve groaned at the memories. “The tights… and those boots.”

“I rather liked the tights,” Peggy flirted. “Though, the point of my mentioning, is that it took you rather a few months in the field to figure out you could lift a tank, and that became one of your favorite tricks. Give the poor girl some slack.”

“Actually, fitting my entire body behind my shield was one of my favorites.”

“I still don’t know how you do that.” She sighed. “But it is quite a trick.”

“She is getting the hang of it,” Steve relented. “It’s just been… hard.”

“I can hear the weariness in your voice.” She was soft and gentle. Steve closed his eyes and pretended he was wrapping himself around her. “Have you been taking care of yourself?” She sighed when he didn’t answer. “Steve…”

“I don’t know how…” he drifted off, changing course mid-sentence. “I’m tired, Peg. I’m tired of fighting and running but that’s… that’s all that’s left.” He rolled to his back, throwing his free arm over his head, some of the plaster of the wall of the old boarding house falling on his forehead. He wiped it away with a heavy groan of frustration. “Back then, I had so many plans. After the war…”

“We shan’t be going there, darling.” Her voice left no room for argument.

He was quiet for a moment, the emotion boiling up in him. When he finally spoke, his words were soft. “I miss you. I miss you so, so much.”

The pause was almost too long, and it broke him just a little bit more. “I’m here, Steve. Only a phone call away.”

He sat up, frustrated. “For a little while I had it- I had everything. I had you, I had Buck, I had new friends, and I could… I was…”

“You were almost happy,” she whispered. “We’ve said these words too many times.”

“I don’t…” He took a deep breath and let his head fall to his hand. “I don’t know how to move past it. I can pretend I’m ok, but… but I’m not.” He laughed to himself. “I wouldn’t be calling you if I were ok.”

“I’m here for you, Steve,” she replied sharply. “You call me when you need to call me, when you want to call me. Good or bad. I just wish… I wish there was more good.”

“Me, too.” He cleared his throat, sitting up. “Tell me something good, Peg.”

He thought he could hear a smile in her voice. “Pulling yourself up by your bootstraps, eh, Rogers? Well, then, I can tell you that yesterday I came across a very silly video of a sneezing baby Panda and no matter what your mood, I promise you’ll feel better if you watch it.”

He pulled the phone away from his cheek when it vibrated in his hand, the video popping up on his screen. He laughed, despite himself.

“You always know exactly what I need,” he mumbled out loud.

Her chuckle was soft, just like he remembered. “Lucky, I guess.”

“I love you so, so much, Peg.” He turned serious. “I wish… I wish I could see you.”

“I love you, too, my darling.” She replied softly. “And I’m only ever just a phone call away.”

He could feel the familiar pangs of depression swirling, and knew talking longer would do him no good. Not tonight. “I should… I should go.”

“Good night then, my love.” Peggy’s words were so full of love he could scarcely believe it. “Don’t wait too long to call again.”

He didn’t answer her, just nodded to himself. “Good night, Peg.”

He pulled the phone away from his ear, looked at it, and tossed it across the bed. Like his letters to Bucky, sometimes he felt worse after talking with her. He laid back on the bed, the springs creaking under him.

He wasn’t going to sleep tonight, not with the way his gut was roiling and the loss so close to the surface. Her voice was always a double-edged sword. Some nights, it was enough to bring him back to life, to remind him of whatever little purpose he felt he had left.

Sometimes, it was only filled with loss and the could-have-beens and should-have-beens.

Sometimes, he wished Tony had never given her back to him.

~*~ 1988

“Anthony, get this blasted thing out of my face.”

“Come on, Aunt Peg, no one is better at telling me what to do than you are.”

Peggy looked up from where she sat at the table in what was supposed to be a dining room, but was often used as an extended work space when Peggy and Howard had to pull long nights. “Under no circumstances.”

Tony pulled a chair up next to her and held out the tape recorder towards her. “Under all circumstances.” He started ticking it off on his fingers. “When I almost blew up the garage when I was eight. First time I got caught with a girl in my room. First time I got caught with booze in my room. First time I tried to create a jet pack. Who yelled at me? You did.”

Peggy pursed her lips at him and turned in her chair. “Concerned correction.”

He smiled, shrugging. “See? Concern, correction… all things I’m going to need in the future.”

Peggy swiveled back and picked up a file, eyes firmly set on the writing though she wasn’t reading anything. “Things you need now.” She didn’t look up. “Can’t you go badger Jarvis? Edwin has far more practice at humoring you.”

He laughed and smiled sweetly, moving the tape recorder in front of her. “Indulge your Godson in an experiment?”

“I seem to indulge you Starks far more than I’d like.” She leaned back in the chair and tossed the file back on the table. “Tell me about it.”

“Well, you see, I actually need you to tell me…”

~*~ 2014

Tony hadn’t looked at these cartridges in years. He pulled FRIDAY up and loaded her, knowing the program would make do for now. He could make some upgrades, and mourn Jarvis, later.

He ran his fingers over the last few cartridges as FRIDAY was integrated into his systems and found one that he hadn’t thought about in decades. It had been so long that the ink was almost faded completely away.

He didn’t need the label to remind him what was on there. He remembered each story, each lesson, each crisp English word with a sharpness that he liked to pretend didn’t exist. It was the only AI that was as old as Jarvis.

Tony laughed out loud. There was no way Ultron would have come to be if this was the AI he’d chosen to run his life with instead of Jarvis. She never would have allowed it.

She never would have allowed half of his shenanigans. She had been right all those years ago: Jarvis had always indulged him more. Aunt Peggy had no qualms about telling him, and often stopping him, when he was about to do something stupid, whereas Jarvis would give him an exasperated sir and follow behind, helping to clean up the mess.

He could have used some of her guidance so, so many times since he built that armor. Before, too, to be honest. He should have revisited her AI years ago.

He should visit her in the nursing home.

He knew exactly why he didn’t.  

He flipped the cartridge onto his work desk and slid the rest back into their box to be stored. Save the world first, tongue lashing from his Godmother second.

~*~ 2015

The icon showed up on his phone one day without explanation. Two hours later the text from Tony was nearly as mysterious.

Click the icon and you’ll be routed to an update on an old project, kind of like a phone call. Totally sanctioned, of course. I think she’ll get a kick out of it.

When he told her one day in the nursing home, she laughed.

“That boy had me record hours and hours of tape,” Peggy smiled. “I wondered if he ever got around to making it. I would have rather liked to have another one of myself around while I was still running SHIELD.”

“So, you did know,” Steve asked, “that Tony made an AI of you?”

Peggy looked at him, her eyes sharp and disapproving. “Of course, I knew. And while I didn’t ever say it, I was quite insulted that he eventually chose Jarvis over me.” She sat up in her hospital bed, gray hair falling in waves around her face. “Dial it up, let’s see what he got right, shall we?”

~*~ 2016

He was still in his suit and tie, his cheeks puffy with the tears he only let himself shed in the privacy of his hotel room. The church had been hard, but letting the coffin settle into the cold dirt had been harder.

She was gone.

And he was alone.

He picked up his phone, intent on checking his flight for the morning when an icon he scrolled past daily caught his eye.

He rubbed his thumb over the edge of the screen, temped.

He checked his flight, but it was perfunctory and he couldn’t recall, by the time his thumb hit the other icon, if it was still on time or not.

Slowly he lifted the phone to his ear. He knew from the few times he’d called at the nursing home with her that there wouldn’t be a ring tone, and that he had to be the first one to talk. “Hello?”

“Steve?”

Her voice through the line was young and vibrant, the way her remembered it from all those years back: red rimmed lips and bright eyes in just the vibration of sound.

He lost his breath.

“I’m so glad you called,” her voice was happy, bright.

He’d just left her in the ground, and yet…

Yet…

“Peggy.” He barely got the word out, the emotion choking him.

“Are you alright, Steve?”

“No, I…” he couldn’t speak. He didn’t want to continue, but couldn’t tear himself away.

“I’m right here, Steve.” Her voice was warm and welcoming, like honey and home and everything he was missing. “Tell me when you’re ready.”

He was quiet for a moment. He contemplated hanging up and deleting the icon.

Instead, he spoke, his words broken and full of loss. “I miss you.”

Her voice wrapped around him through the phone, “And I miss you, darling. But I’m right here. I’m just a phone call away, any time you like.”

He nearly laughed the way her words warmed him. She was so real- had always been every time he talked to the AI.

But she wasn’t real- just an amalgamation of information Tony had stored for decades.

He held the phone away for a second, contemplating his choices. He wanted to walk away, but the loss was still so raw. He pulled the phone back to his ear.

Just for today.

He told himself he’d pretend just for today.

Over the phone, he could pretend she wasn’t dead. Could pretend she hadn’t aged and lived on without him.

Just for today, just until he could get past this pain, he could pretend.

“I guess,” he cleared his throat, trying to banish the thickness in it from the tears, “I guess I should call more often, then.”

“Absolutely. I will accept nothing less, Captain.”

He smiled and sat on the bed, tears falling from his eyes as he listened to her voice.

It was just for today.  

~*~ End Notes: Saved this to the end to avoid giving this away. Deeply inspired by Hayley Atwell’s episode of Black Mirror, “Be Right Back.” If you haven’t seen it, you should.

#Steggy Fic #Angst #Steggy Bingo Bash #3P's Fic #Steggy #Cannon character death #fulfills the fake dating prompt only if you squint #but I couldn't get the idea out of my head

[larryfanficwriter98]

Chapter Twelve

Fake It Until You Make It Real

**Side note- 1. It’s a long one. 2.Daniel is Hannah’s boyfriend (not sure if I’ve explained that yet). 3. Fizzy (or Félicité) is not in this story, she was a teenager, not an adult so I do not feel comfortable writing her in like I do with the adults. Also because the adults play essential roles in this story while the sisters/siblings do not. I have not decided if mentioning her at all is in my comfort zone and respectful in my personal opinion with my writing so if you would like her to be mentioned briefly let me know, however she will not be a living or recurring character. If she is mentioned it'll be as respectful as possible with Louis obviously mentioning her or something along those lines. I do not want to come across as rude or disrespectful when it comes to her or any other character who is longer with us, but like I said it did not feel right to write her in just for it to not play a key role in the story and be a brief sentence. I try not to make them (siblings and all) key roles in my stories out of respect since theses stories are about Harry and Louis only, but obviously they'll be mentioned every now and again. Again I'm trying to write this as carefully worded as possible so sorry if it doesn't make sense or comes off badly.****

Harry was up early the next morning as he prepared to make enough donut holes for over a dozen people, most of them being kids. He was excited to finally have the house filled with kids and family and glad today would be warmer than yesterday according to every weather app and website he looked at yesterday before falling asleep with the kids in the bed after they had all cuddled up for a movie in his room. Harry was pulled from his thoughts by arms sliding around his waist and a face pressed against his back making him jerk not having heard Louis.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I just didn't hear you I was a lost in my thoughts." Louis hummed snuggling into his back, Harry didn't need to look at Louis to know his eyes were still closed and that he was wearing one of Harry's sweaters that fell to his thighs, his briefs probably was just peeking out at the ends, "what are you doing up of you're tired?" Harry asked amused.

"You took your body heat with you." Louis mumbled; it was barely audible, but Harry heard him well enough making him grin.

"Sorry." Harry said, "I had to start breakfast."

"What are you making?" Louis asked resting his chin on Harry's shoulders looking over into the fryer, "ooh something deep fried I like it already."

"Powdered sugar donut holes with little plastic spiders on the piles so they look like spider eggs." Harry said excitedly as he showed Harry the picture that was with the recipe in his homemade seasonal recipe book. Louis was silent for a few seconds before he laughed shaking his head.

"You're lucky you're cute Harold." Louis said pressing a kiss to Harry's cheek before he laid his cheek against Harry's back again.

"You're cuddly this morning."

"I'm tired this morning and you're warm."

"Just admit you're cuddly."

"Never." Louis said kissing his shoulder, "Alright what do you need me to do before everyone arrives?" Louis asked stepping away from Harry and grabbing a mug for his morning tea.

"I think we're all ready for visitors but you - oh baby proofing! I bought baby proofing things this week they're in the basement."

"You bought baby proofing stuff?" Louis asked.

"Well, I've never had babies here so yeah I'm about to have two one year old roaming the house. I figured you were the best one to do that stuff since we never really did Hannah and I, I mean."

"You never baby proofed?" Louis asked looking at Harry who shook his head.

"I bought a large pen and we kept Maddie in there during the day except for naps and such but we did tummy time in there and she crawled in there. When she started walking and wanting to roam, we completely sealed off the living room and kept her there. We didn't have a need to baby proof. I mean obviously we made the room was safe and her crib was where it should be and all of that stuff, but we didn't really have a lot of furniture or outlets so." Harry explained shrugging at the end, "obviously if you and I have a baby one day this house will need to be thoroughly baby proofed and we'll probably spend more money on gates than we will on anything else, but our apartment was probably the size of the living rooms combined. It wasn't that big."

"Not even married yet and you're already thinking about trapping me with a little baby. The audacity." Harry grinned looking over at Louis.

"I'd be more worried if I didn't know you have a Winnie the pooh outfit in the basement storage for a baby girl. Still on the store hanger that is at least a year old."

"It was on sale." Louis said sipping his tea as he walked towards the basement door, "at least you have a warning of what the theme of the nursery is going to be. You can pretend you had a say in it now and suggest Winnie the pooh before I have to go behind your back and do it myself."

"You're lucky I approve otherwise we'd argue."

"No, we wouldn't." Harry chuckled as he heard the basement door click behind Louis before it opened again, "oh by the way its seven months old thank you very much. Not a year. I bought it in March. It was last one of its size and it spoke to me Harry. It said buy me and so I bought it."

"Remind me to never let you know where the credit card is." Louis laughed closing the door behind him.

****

Three hours later both of their families were there, and everything was going smoothly. Anne had looked so shocked and heartbroken but excited when she saw Maddison that Louis had almost cried. He knew his mother had to look away to keep from crying as well. After that however everything went smoothly, and Louis could tell his mother was absolutely in love with Harry.

"So is a baby in the near future for you two?" Anne asked as they stood in the kitchen moving the pudding cups onto the decorative trays. Harry was outside with his mother talking about recipes or something that Louis didn't pay much attention to.

"Not so near that I'll be showing at the wedding but yes it's been discussed. We both wanted to wait until he had custody though so we're not dealing with too much. With my mom an hour and a half away and you guys in London, Liam and Niall working most of the days Harry has off, and Zayn being the only real available last-minute option we don't want to deal with a pregnancy during the craziness that is sure to come." Louis explained looking at her briefly.

"Right, I understand that. So sometime in the next or two."

"Yeah, I think so. I hope so at least. I loved being pregnant with Freddie, it wasn't the greatest experience with my partner, but take him away it was great. Harry is such an amazing dad to Maddie, and he is stepping into the role with Freddie so easily. He missed a lot of Maddie with his school and Hannah doing what she did I know he feels more guilty than he lets on about that."

"He loves her to death and Freddie. You can see it when he looks at them. And you, of course. I thought Harry was in love with Hannah but him looking at you doesn't even come close to him looking at her."

Louis blushed, there was that four-letter word again so soon in the real timeline yet so casually being mentioned today. Harry and he have been carefully avoiding that word, they knew it was too soon, or maybe that was their excuse, so they didn't have to say it so soon. He didn't know. What he did know was that he and Harry both had a conversation about that word and that they wouldn't say it until they meant it. If anyone asked, they would say it wasn't something they just casually said or whatever felt right in the moment. So far no one seemed to notice or think anything of it if they had noticed.

"He's great. I'm really lucky to have found someone like him." Louis freely admitted, "even now he just...I don't have words to tell you everything that I want to list." Anne chuckled nodding

"I'm so proud of him I just wish he would relax a little with saving so much. He was such a careful spender always terrified of spending too much and ending up barely making ends meet."

"Really? I've always thought him a little, not careless, but definitely not cautious. He definitely doesn't come off as a rich boy just someone who has enough money to not blink yknow."

"Yeah, he's very humble, I think. Doesn't show off his wealth any more than he does unconsciously. Though a lot of that is from his childhood, I'm sure he's already told you about that, so I won't go too much into it, but it was hard. Especially since I can see how much they remember it now as adults, I always wished they were too young to remember or maybe it'd be pushed as they got happier memories. I overcompensated a lot when they were teenagers."

Louis nodded even though Harry hadn't actually told him anything of his childhood except a brief mentioning that his mom had been a single mother with two kids. Nothing in depth that would explain what his mother was talking about. And looking back that was Louis' fault, Harry always asked about him and Freddie and their lives. Louis was always too happy to tell anyone about Freddie and his baby years, Louis has never asked Harry about anything. By the way Anne was talking it was obviously not something Harry would just casually mention and had to be asked about it to talk about it. The door slid open before either of them could continue talking and Harry walked in with his mom, the kids, and dogs running into the house.

"What are you two talking about?" Harry asked wrapping his arms around Louis' waist from behind resting his chin on Louis' shoulder.

"Just this and that." Anne said with a shrug, "I asked him about grandbabies."

"I asked Harry about grandbabies too." Jay said.

"Our mothers are conspiring against us." Harry whispered just loud enough for the mothers to hear him; Louis chuckled nodding.

"I think so too. Though my mother should be ready for a break from kids. She has twin toddlers at the moment."

"I can send yours back to you after cuddling them." His mother said.

"Yeah, I've already tried that." Harry told him, "she's prepared."

"Of course, she is. We're going to have to rearrange weekends around, so every grandparent and honorary uncle has quality time."

"Just imagine the weekends without kids though. I'm sure we can think of something to pass the time away."

"HAROLD!"

"What? Practice makes perfect." Louis slapped Harry with the closest item which happened to be a spatula. Harry quickly dodged the swats as he ran out of the kitchen.

***

Trick or Treat was a long three hours filled with adorable kids coming up to them with large grins and most of them greeting Harry by name. Afterwards they spent a few hours laughing and talking in the living room before Harry, Anne, and Jay went into the kitchen to start the pot pies and other food.

"DADDY! I NEED HELP!" Maddie shouted as she came running down the stairs out of her costume, but her hair piece was tangled in her hair which was a whole mess.

"Sweetie, I can't right now, and I told you not to touch your hair without help, didn't I?" Harry said gently.

"But daddy please. Mom said if it gets stuck again, she'll cut my hair." Maddie said crying, "I didn't want it to get stuck and have it cut."

"Maddie sweetie as much as I want to help you I really can't. I told you not to touch your hair now out of my kitchen with your hair please and thank you."

"But daddy you have to help. It hurts and it's a knot and mom says she'll cut it." Maddie pleaded crying more.

"Your mother isn't here to cut it Mads. You'll be fine for an hour as soon as I'm finished, I'll handle your hair, okay?" Maddie stomped her feet and folded her arms pouting.

"But daddy-"

"Maddison. Not right now. In one hour, I can help but I can't right now and that is something you'll have to accept."

"Grandma-"

"Maddison Rayne." Maddison made a closed mouth scream towards Harry as she stomped her foot again before she ran upstairs slamming a door closed. Louis only lasted a minute before he snuck upstairs and poked his head into Maddison's room seeing her sitting on her bed crying.

"Hey, can I come in?" Louis asked getting a nod, so he entered the room closing the door behind him, "you know Maddison I have a ton of sisters and each other has had at least ten knots I've helped get out of their hair all without scissors." Louis told her.

"Really?"

"Of course. I know we haven't had me and you time to talk about your dad and I, but I am marrying him. I'm marrying you too essentially. I know I said I become your stepparent when I say I Do with your dad, but even right now you are my stepdaughter. That means if your dad is busy doing whatever he us doing and you need help you can always come to me and if I can, I will help you as much as you need me to."

"I didn't want to bother you...Daniel doesn't like it when I ask him for help. He tells me I'm not his responsibility just because he's with my mom."

"I'm not Daniel. You are my responsibility this week as much as you are your dads. You're my daughter too, you never have to call me anything you don't want to either it be Papa or Mr. Tomlinson. The title doesn't make the parent, the love and support does, and I love you and will always support you and I will always have your back. In one hour, we can trick your dad into going outside and we can throw water balloons at him as payback for making you cry." Maddison giggled as she wiped her eyes and face with her sleeves and looked at him.

"Really?"

"Yes really. Now how about I help you with this tiara and we paint each other’s nails in a fall color? Sound good?"

Maddison smiled and nodded climbing onto her knees and hugging him tightly. Louis kissed her head rubbing her back before he got up and went to grab the hair things for Maddie's hair in the kids shared bathroom. Maddie had a light pink basket full of curly hair care products and decanters as well as combs and hair accessories. He grabbed it and headed into her room sitting them upfront of her floor length mirror on her closet door and got to work. He never had to deal with curly hair like Maddie’s, but he soon got the hang of it and they never noticed when Harry came up only to stand in the doorway watching as they sang Disney songs and Louis carefully detangled her hair. Maddie had dressed up as Rosie the riveter and Harry had done her up in an updo with her bandana looped through her hair, so it hadn't fallen off and thus when Maddie tried to undo it all she had ended up with a mess. A mess that took over an hour to undo but once it was finished and Louis was able to come through it no problem he went and got the nail polish form her kit.

"Thank you LouLou." Maddie said as she hugged Louis around his neck once their nails had been dried. Louis grinned as he hugged again rubbing her back.

"You are most welcome. You can ask me for help anytime." Maddie nodded, "now how about we go downstairs, and you say sorry. Just a tiny one."

"Okay." Maddison held Louis' hand as they head out of the room and down the stairs. Harry was in the living room with Freddie lying beside him as they laid on the loveseat and watched Wall-E together. Maddie skipped over and carefully crawled on top of Harry situating herself comfortable as she cuddled up to him.

"I'm sorry daddy."

"Thank you, sweetie. I love you you know that right?"

"I love you too Daddy. I was scared but I didn't have to act like that."

"It's okay. Your emotions still get the best of you at times. Your nails are very pretty."

"Thank you LouLou and I paint each other's nails and looky he got my hair untangled without scissors." She said sitting up and pulling her hair over her shoulder to show him.

"I see that. He might be better than me with all the practice he has with his sisters." Harry said as he looked up at Louis.

"Not with curly hair mind you, but enough practice it didn't take us that long to get the worst of it." Louis said folding his arms on the air of the sofa and leaning down to press a chaste kiss to Harry's puckered lips, "besides I'm a big softie when it comes to tears, I only last a minute after she ran upstairs."

"That’s because you're a great Papa who doesn't let a baby cry for more than a minute."

"You mean I'm weak."

"You went through a c-section and want to do it again. I'd call you incredibly strong before I ever call you weak. As much as I wish I could carry sometimes I do not want to go through that and if I had I'd never do it again."

"The only reason I'm so willingly to do it again is because I know this time will be different. I'll have a cute doctor fussing over me as much as I fuss over the baby. I may even be able to have him do the heavy lifting for the first few weeks."

"The lifting, the carrying, the picking up, the bending, you name it, and I shall do it for as long as you need." Harry said pulling Louis back down for an awkward but sweet kiss, "also I'm more than cute I'm drop dead sexy when I'm awake at three on the morning making sure your stitches aren't infected and you're not in pain."

"Oh, right my bad." Louis said rolling his eyes as he straightened up and moved off to where he heard Zayn, Liam, and Niall were at in the other living room drinking and playing FIFA.

"Hey, grab a beer and join us. You have enough designated sober for you and Harry to drink a little." Niall said.

"Let me guess Harry said not unless I did it." Louis guessed folding his arms watching as Liam and Niall blushed guiltily, "I don't care if he drinks you know."

"We know that, but he respects you too much and he probably doesn't want you to think badly of him with y'know his past drinking problem after Hannah kept Maddie from him." Louis also didn't know about that but didn't let it show as he left and grabbed two beers from the fridge then headed to Harry and put one on his chest.

"Will you drink before your friends decide I'm a bad influence on you and controlling you through telepathic connections or something." Louis said.

"What if I don't want to drink."

"All your friends are doing it." Louis teased waving the can upfront of his face making him laugh.

"Peer pressure. Really."

"Yes, now chug it and shut it." Louis said kissing his cheek before heading back to the other room and grabbing the spare controller as he flopped on to the large beanbag chair that the lads had dragged upstairs from the basement living/gaming room.

****

After dinner Louis took his family to the basement where the guest rooms were located for them there were a total of four guest rooms down there, one with a queen size mattress, and two rooms had two twin size bunkbeds with the stairs in the middle and the last one had two full size bunkbeds with the stairs in the middle. Louis helps his mom set up the travel crib then held get the twins ready since Dan was still with Harry getting the bags. The evening turned late and one by one everyone was in guest rooms or bedrooms and Harry and Louis were finally alone and relaxing on the couch with Louis’ back pressed against Harry's front.

"We should get to bed." Harry said.

"I know but I can't get up. I'm tired. Besides, I've got questions for you that I know I will forget if I sleep on them."

"Oh? And what are those questions?" Harry asked amused.

"Niall mentioned you had a drinking problem? When Hannah left?"

"Oh that? Yeah, I guess. I was pissed and my lawyer said there was nothing that could be done until we proved paternity, so I drank and went out to the clubs a lot. It got a bit...obsessive I guess but I never really considered it a problem. Like I could stop I just didn't want to. I was stupid the first six months but then the DNA test came back, and my lawyer said I had to get my life together and so I did. Instantly. One weekend I was at the pubs and the next I was home or working. Guess it didn't really occur to me to tell you that." Louis nodded understanding where Harry was coming from.

"Is that why you won't casually drink?"

"No, I just don't want to be unavailable for Maddie or Freddie if they need something. Liam and Niall don't understand that, I get it y'know they don't mean any harm by it and a few beers never hurt anyone, but I've always been scared of drinking one night and not being able to drive Maddie to the hospital because the ambulances were out of order or something. I don't know. It's a weird parenting nightmare I get every once in a while."

"I will never let you get so drunk you wouldn't be able to function as a father around the kids. That's where I draw the line but drinking with your mates with a dozen people here sober is completely fine. No one will think twice of that."

"I know I just feel wrong...like I'm being judged or something. Choosing beer over my kids. I never want to do that."

"And you never will." Louis promised, "your mother mentioned something today as well. Well, a few things."

"Oh God. Whatever it was I swear there's an explanation."

"No but now I know I've gotta ask her for the good stuff. No, she mentioned your childhood very very very briefly. Like she completely skipped over it thinking I already knew. Which if you don't want to tell me that's fine." Harry tense for a second before he sighed and scooted Louis closer against his front, "you don't have to-"

"My mom was young when she fell pregnant with my sister. She got kicked out of her rich family’s home with nothing but a bag of clothes and a fee bundles of cash. She was able to get a job as a waitress after dropping out of school and she got a studio. My dad, my biological dad that is, he didn't want to lose the money from his money and my mom was young and naive, so she stayed with him. When I came my dad left after taking the money my mom glad hidden away for emergencies. Fast forward two years and my mom was poor, like poor poor. I was potty trained because my mom couldn't afford diapers and because of this the carpet in the living room smell horrible. We had a beat-up couch with a pull-out bed that smelled. When I got older, I remember being so embarrassed by it, obviously I couldn't control it and mom and Gem always said it wasn't my fault, but I hated it. Obviously, it wasn't only me, Gem had accidents too, but it was mostly me. Anyway, my mom spent everything on the electric and water, the two most important things. Then she spent it on her phone so she could be called into work y'know. Then the little she had left was just enough for bread, peanut butter, and sometimes a fruit of our choice to share. So, for most of my childhood we ate peanut butter toast for breakfast and peanut butter bread folded up for lunch and dinner. I can’t eat peanut butter to this day, like plain peanut butter. I can eat it with something but not ever in large amounts.” Louis shifted around so he was able to look at Harry, he played with a bracelet Maddie had given Louis to give to Harry a few weeks ago during art. He was clearly thinking about it from the faraway look he had on his face, “My mom suddenly stopped wanting us to go to the stores with her and she’d bring home groceries. Real groceries. She’d cook and we ate vegetables and fruits and had food we were allowed to snack on. Gemma and I thought she was stealing and so we started telling mom to stop and that we were fine. We met Robin a few days later, mom done everything to get rid of the smell that lingered in the studio apartment.” Harry’s lips twitched in a small smile that only now looking back on it all was he able to release in light humor,

“She bought a mattress from a goodwill and got rid of the couch and had the mattress on the floor for all three of us. I remember mom had us all showed that morning because the water was being shut off the next day and so we all helped do laundry in the bath and then hung them to dry. Robin walked into the door in a lab coat and Gemma started freaking out, crying. She thought mom was giving us away, up for adoption, Gemma was begging mom not letting her get a word in to explain. She told her she would go without food so I could eat and that she would help out as much as she could and went on this rant. It was like she was prepared to plead our case and I don’t doubt she was. I started crying when Gemma went on and on because I was scared, and mom just looked so helpless and guilty. After mom was able to calm us down and explain Robin was a friend of hers and was a doctor, we slowly opened up to him. I was practically his son within a month. He and I just grew close because I asked him about his work, I knew doctors made a lot of money so in my mind I would become a doctor and help my mom out with money. It made perfect sense. Mom and Robin moved fast, I don’t know if mom was just desperate at first or if they had known each other longer than they let on, Gemma and I never asked because Robin was our dad and mom married him. I know mom loves him now, I know mom has loved him for a long time, not sure how long, but long enough that it doesn’t matter anymore to me to know the truth. They met when mom was at work, he’s been a regular for years, but mom never had him as a customer, barely even saw him before then. One day she had him as a customer and I guess they just hit it off. He saw her at the store a few weeks later after a few more times meeting at the restaurant and he told me something just told him to give her his groceries. So, he did. Mom said she was having a bad week that week and that home life was stressful, and her boss had almost fired her so when he gave her his groceries she just cried and told him everything. Just ranted. Poor guy was just trying to do something nice and got ranted at. He drove her home and started tipping her bigger and then asked to buy her and us dinner without us knowing of course. They never really did give us a complete timeline, but they made it sound like it was going on for a few months at least before mom introduced us.” Louis was smiling, chuckling when Harry empathized with Robin being ranted towards, “When I was old enough to realize what happened, like why things changed so dramatically for us, I wrote him this long letter for Father’s Day because it was coming up and I have it to him as soon as he woke up and I left for school. I was pulled out of school not an hour later by Robin and we had a father son week, he literally kidnapped me and took me to Greece only telling my mother when she called him frantic that I wasn’t home after school and Gem hadn’t seen me all day. When we got back Mom was there waiting for us and ripped us a new one right in the middle of the airport. Not giving a damn about who was watching us. That lecture lasted an entire month.”

“Your mom says you’re too cautious with your spending because of it. Is that true?”

“I guess in a way. I mean I have a lot of money from all different kinds of things and this house is completely paid off, I don’t have any debt or loans. I know how much I have in my savings accounts and all of that stuff. I know how much I have inside this house and how much I carry with me. I guess that is something we should talk about whether you want to join our bank accounts or keep them separate or what.”

“Yeah, that is something we should talk about but after I’ve had sleep.” Louis said resting his head in his hand as he stared at Harry, “I couldn’t even imagine it. What you went through. My mom wasn’t the richest, but always made the end meet in the end and we were always full. She may not have been, but we were. She’s a nurse which was good money for one two even three kids, but then more and more babies came. I don’t even know when she found the time or energy. Nor do I want to, but still. She worked so much and did so much in so little hours that sometimes when I look back, I feel like she had magic to make the time slow down. I have no idea how she did everything and still had time for every child that needed her. I guess that’s why I stepped in so early, I saw my mom needed help and so I was there. Changing diapers, feeding babies, changing clothes, burping. Whatever it was. I don’t why I ever thought I wouldn’t be a carrier; I was bloody natural at seven years old.” Harry laughed shaking his head.

“You are a natural. Thank you by the way for earlier with Maddie.”

“Of course. You don’t need to thank me for that. She is my soon to be stepdaughter after all. I don’t think Daniel has left a good idea of what a stepparent is supposed to do and its easier spending time with her when we’re in familiar school territory. It’s different here, I guess. More…personal, I keep forgetting she’s still a child, only six. She had to grow up so much around her mother…she’s completely different here than she is there or with her. It’s like she isn’t afraid to express normal attitude and emotion. Like earlier Maddie has never even remotely given attitude to anyone that I’ve seen.”

“The first time she came over she had this huge tantrum, she had behavioral problems so bad, and she just broke everything she could possibly reach and then she cried. At first, I was mad yknow, she broke a tv, she broke mugs, plates, literally everything. But then I thought about it. I remembered what my mom used to tell me that the child acts up the most around a parent they trust. So, I sat down on the couch and I waited. I waited over two hours I think when finally, Maddie came over and started crying. She was three at the time I think, maybe four, I’m not quite sure so at that age she didn’t have all the proper vocabulary to tell me what she was feeling, and she was behind on her development anyway. I just remember holding her as she sniffled herself to sleep and then I got up and I felt like such a failure. My baby was hurting, and I couldn’t do anything to help her because I got a job that took so many hours of my life away and there was no routine or schedule. So, I promised myself that even if Maddie came over and broke everything in the house each and every visit, I would do everything I could to get her over here as often as possible. I started looking for someone to settle down with, it wouldn’t be casual it wouldn’t be testing the road, it would be the long haul. I started with women; I knew my best bet was getting a housewife. A normal life and family. One a judge couldn’t look at and disagree with. Never went past a first date because obviously by then I had explored through drinking and pubs and everything else I much preferred the male body. So, I started dating men and as you know men didn’t want babies in their twenties. They want casual sex and relationships and that was it. I stopped about a year ago, gave up and resigned myself into not getting my daughter at all and quitting my job and finding something else to do. I started looking at jobs and things to do with my degree with better hours. I was very desperate to just find something to help me so I could help my daughter. Then the hospital announced they were opening a bigger pediatric ward with scheduled days and routine weeks. But it wouldn’t be ready for two years. Then Hannah told me about Daniel’s potential promotion, and I knew I didn’t have two years.” Louis knew where it led to, where the desperation of a father wanting to do right by his daughter led. He grinned and leaned over pressing a not at all chaste kiss to Harry’s lips.

“Lucky for you, you found me then huh?” Harry laughed but nodded pulling Louis in for deeper kiss, “I am not having sex with you with our families here.”

“Buzzkill. Come on let’s get to bed. Any later and none of our families is getting cooked breakfast in the morning.” Louis followed Harry upstairs after they turned off the lights and set the alarm, Gizmo and Bear following close behind them only for Bear to enter Maddie’s room and Gizmo to enter Freddie’s. When they entered the bedroom they crawled into bed and cuddled up together falling asleep almost instantly.

#Larry Stylinson #larries #larry shippers #larry fanfiction #larry stylinson fanfiction #fake marriage #nonfamous au #larry fake marraige au #Wattpad #archive of our own #parents au #teacher louis #doctor harry styles

[dlwritings]

My Princess | Peter Parker (pt 3)

masterlist found here

pairing - Peter x reader word count - 2,843 warnings - oral (f receiving), clumsy first time sex A/N - for the anons who requested a part 3! | Peter and reader are both 18 in this

summary - You and Peter finally have your moment.

(part 1) (part 2)

Your morning hadn’t gone to plan. You had stupidly forgotten that it was Saturday and you were scheduled to work. You worked at a small coffee shop that your aunt owned only on the weekends, so you couldn’t call in and fake sick. Peter was devastated. “(Y/N),” he whined as you rushed around your room to get ready.

“I’m sorry, Pete,” you said, pulling your t-shirt off and putting on your bra. You tugged off your underwear and put on a clean pair before standing in front of your closet, pushing through your clothes trying to find something to wear. You weren’t even aware of Peter watching you, so you jumped out of your skin when you felt his hand on your waist. He reached into the closet and grabbed a hanger, pulling out a brown corduroy skirt with buttons that you knew he liked. You nodded and paired it with some black tights and a skin-tight black long sleeve turtleneck, tossing the outfit on quickly.

“Can’t you call her?” he asked as you sat in front of the mirror to do your makeup.

“No, I really can’t,” you said, applying your mascara. ���She needs me on the clock. I’m the only one there at this time of day.”

“What am I supposed to do all day?” Peter asked.

“Homework?” you teased, glancing at him in the mirror reflection. “Superhero duties?” Peter groaned dramatically and fell back on your bed. You giggled and finished up your hair and makeup before walking over to the bed. You crawled over to him, straddling his waist and putting your hands on either side of his head. He let out a sigh and put his hands on your waist.

“Don’t do this to me,” he said.

“Do what?” you said, gently grinding your hips against his. You had a playful smirk on your face as he gently guided your hips against his.

A second alarm went off on your phone, signalling that it was time for you to leave. Peter tried to get you to stay, but you pushed yourself away from him and got off the bed, straightening your outfit and giving him a smile. “Be here when I get back?” you said. His eyebrows raised as you smiled knowingly at him. He nodded back, so you grabbed your purse and headed out the door.

Peter left your house soon after you did just so he could go home, shower, and change. On the way, he was buzzing with plans for the evening. Tonight was the night. He knew. The night before and that morning were just the opening acts. This was the main event. How could he make it as perfect as possible?

When he got to his apartment, May was home. “Have a good night at the compound?” she asked as soon as he walked in. That’s where he had told her he was. Not with you.

“Mhm,” he hummed casually. “I’m gonna go take a shower.”

When he got out and was changed and ready, he packed a new bag for the night -clothes for the morning, clean boxers, toothbrush and toothpaste, and everything else he’d need. “May!” he called as he started to leave. “I’m gonna be out all day. Spending the night at the compound again! Don’t wait up!”

“Use protection!” May called back. This made Peter freeze in his tracks. He turned to see her standing in the kitchen, her arms folded across her chest.

“W-What, uh, what are you-” He mirrored her position and laughed awkwardly. “What are you talking about?”

“Please, Peter,” she laughed with a roll of her eyes. “I wasn’t born yesterday.” Peter rubbed the back of his neck, feeling his cheeks heat up, as he turned back to the door to leave. “I love (Y/N),” May continued, “but I don’t want any grandkids yet.”

“Okay, bye, May!” he yelled.

“Make sure she pees after, or she’ll get a UTI!”

Before she could say anything else, Peter left the apartment, slamming the door behind him.

Yikes.

Peter had a lot of plans for the night. Dinner was involved as was… the main event. So, he made a run to the store to pick up the necessities before heading back to your place. Your shift at the coffee shop didn’t end until 5:00, and it was only 12:00. Peter decided to hang out around your house, not at all wanting to spend another minute with May. The five hours went by agonizingly slowly.

When Peter heard the front door open, he was in the middle of an episode of The Simpsons. He jumped up from the couch, pressing pause on the TV, and greeted you in the kitchen. You looked tired as you tugged off your heeled booties. You blew some hair out of your face as you looked up at him. “Hey, babe,” you said, letting out a heavy breath. Peter frowned slightly.

“Tired?” he asked, walking over to you and putting his hands on your waist. You wrapped your arms around his waist and hugged him, just wanting to feel him hug you.

“Mhm,” you hummed, pressing a soft kiss to his shoulder. “It was weirdly busy today.”

“I’m sorry,” he said, pulling away from you. You gave him a smile.

“No worries,” you said. “Anyway, I’m hungry. What should we do for dinner?”

“I’ve got that covered,” he said, his smile lighting up. You quirked an eyebrow and followed Peter. You expected him to go to the dining room, but he ended up heading to your room. This only confused you further. When he opened your door, your own smile widened. On the floor, Peter had laid out a blanket. A few candles were lit around it, and he had ordered Chinese takeout.

“You’re amazing,” you said to him, placing a soft kiss to his lips. He smiled and tucked some of your hair behind your ear. “I’m gonna change first, okay?” Peter nodded, so you grabbed some clothes out of your drawers and went into the bathroom. You changed into some spandex and a Stark Industries hoodie you had once stolen from Peter. It was your go-to after work outfit, and it just so happened to be one of Peter’s favorite outfits on you.

He tried not to stare too obviously at your ass when you bent over to put your dirty clothes in your hamper. You joined him on the floor and started to dig into the food. While you did that, Peter turned on your TV. “Should I put on a movie?” he asked.

“Sure,” you said, sitting criss-cross-applesauce and shoving some chicken in your mouth. “How about that new one with Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston?”

“Murder Mystery?” Peter said. You nodded, so he clicked the title and immediately started eating the food as well.

By the time the movie was done, you and Peter had been finished with your food for a while and had migrated to the bed for some cuddles. You had your head on his chest and your hand on his stomach, and his arm was around you with his hand on your ass. You both sat and watched the credits, each too comfortable to move.

Peter finally grabbed the remote and shut off the TV, then looked down at you with a dorky smile. “Hi,” he said, leaning close to brush his nose against yours.

You giggled, “Hi.” Peter closed the distance between the two of you with a soft kiss that quickly turned more intense. You were desperate to get close to him, moving so you were sitting on his lap. His hands traveled under your sweatshirt. He was desperate to feel your skin against his in any capacity.

“Peter,” you whispered, willing yourself to pull your lips away from his.

“Hm?” he hummed, his eyes still closed.

“I want to do this.”

Peter opened his eyes at this and stroked your cheek with his thumb. “Yeah?” he said. You nodded. “Yeah,” Peter agreed. “I want to, too.”

Peter laid you down on the bed, slowly pulling your sweatshirt over your head. While the mere idea of having sex with you was enough to get Peter hard, he knew girls needed more foreplay. And that was fine by him. All he could think about was the pretty noises you were making yesterday and how sweet you tasted. He kissed across your chest, taking time to make both of your nipples hard. You were breathing heavily, squeezing your eyes closed at the feeling. You felt Peter leave a few hickies across your chest and neck, and you knew you’d be limited to turtlenecks and scarves until they were gone.

When Peter’s lips got to the waistband of your spandex, he pulled them down and found his mouth watering when he realized you weren’t wearing panties under them. “Mm, you were ready,” Peter teased, letting his breath fan across your lower lips.

“Shut up, Pete,” you breathed out. He laughed and kissed your clit before pulling back and rubbing your outer lips with his thumbs.

Peter loved the power he felt he had over you. He was fully clothed, yet there you were, naked and vulnerable and desperate for his touch. And you were only going to get what he was going to give you.

The thought made his dick twitch in his pants.

Peter pressed his mouth against your pussy, savoring your taste as you moaned above him. The noises his actions were making were borderline pornographic, and you were a moaning mess above him. While Peter continued eating you out, he slid a single finger inside you, pumping it slowly as you lifted your hips, desperate for more.

Your moan turned into a whimper of Peter’s name, and he couldn’t wait any longer.

Peter pulled away from you and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. You sighed and rested your hands above your head, staring up at him in anticipation. Peter reached into the pocket of his joggers and pulled out a condom. You took it from him so he could pull off his sweatshirt and kick off his sweats and boxers. You ripped the condom open, and he helped you put it on him.

“I- I, uh,” Peter stuttered. “I brought some lube too. It might, it might make it feel a little better.”

“Okay,” you said with a nod. Peter -slightly clumsily- got out of bed and grabbed the lube he had brought. He almost put some on his hand, but you reached your own out. “Can I do it?” you asked. Peter almost moaned at the pure, innocent look in your eyes as he nodded and handed you the lube. You took the lube, put some on your hand, and rubbed it up and down Peter’s shaft. He bit his lip and tossed his head back as you gently squeezed his cock and moved your other hand to play with his balls.

“(Y/N),” he said, reaching down to stop your movements. You looked up at him. “I, I’m not gonna last long if you keep doing that, okay?” You giggled slightly and nodded, placing a soft kiss to his lips.

The two of you got under the covers, and Peter hovered above you, brushing some hair away from your face. “You gotta let me know if, if something doesn’t feel good,” Peter said. “Or if you want to stop or anything like that.”

“Okay,” you said, nodding your head.

“And tell me what you want,” he said. “Like-”

“Peter,” you said, cutting him off and putting your hand on his cheek.

“Yeah?”

“I want you inside me right now.”

Peter let out a shaky breath and nodded. You cocked your head to the side and stroked his cheek with your thumb. “Pete?” you said.

“Mm?”

“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

“No, no, I do!” Peter said. “I just-” He sighed. “I just don’t want to fuck this up.”

“You won’t,” you assured him. He didn’t seem convinced, so you threaded your fingers in his hair and pushed his head down to yours, pressing your lips together. He seemed to relax into the kiss, and you smiled. “I love you,” you told him.

“I love you, too.”

Peter lined himself up with you and slowly thrust into you. You lost your breath, your mouth hanging open and your eyes shut. Peter took your hand and laced your fingers together, holding your hand to the mattress. Your other hand grabbed his bicep, squeezing it so tightly, you were probably leaving nail marks on his skin. “Are you okay?” Peter asked, letting out another shaky breath.

“Yeah,” you breathed out. “Just, just hang on a second.”

“Yeah, yeah, of course,” Peter said. He leaned down to nuzzle his face in your neck, leaving soft kisses against your skin. You moved your hand that was on his bicep to his hair, letting your nails drag across his scalp. He let out a whimper and pressed another kiss to your neck.

“Okay,” you said softly. “You can move.”

“Okay,” Peter repeated. He slowly pulled out of you and pushed back in, trying to maintain a steady pace. He struggled to find his rhythm, and it was all a bit sloppy and awkward. But not in a bad way. In a way that reminded you that this was your first time, and Peter’s first time, and you got to experience that together. If anything, knowing that made everything feel even better. Peter groaned as your walls squeezed around him. “Are you okay?” he asked.

“Mhm,” you hummed out, trying to focus more on the pleasure than the discomfort.

“What can I do?” he asked. You unlaced your hand from his and took two of his fingers into your mouth. He moaned as you sucked them softly, getting them wet before bringing them down to where your bodies connected. Peter got the not-so-subtle hint and started rubbing circles on your clit. He tried to focus on keeping up steady thrusts while also making sure his fingers were doing their job. When you let out a soft moan of pleasure, he figured he must’ve been doing a decent job.

“Oh, Pete,” you whimpered.

Maybe more than decent.

“How’re you doing, princess?” he asked.

“G-Good,” you stuttered. “Can you-” You let out a shaky breath. “Can you go faster?”

“My, my fingers or-”

“Both,” you said. “Please.”

Peter moaned at the desperation in your voice and started to quicken his movements, thrusting into you a bit faster and letting his fingers rub quicker circles. You moaned, digging your head back into the mattress. He wasn’t sure how much longer he was going to last, and truthfully, with the stimulation on your clit and the fact that Peter’s cock kept hitting so deep inside you-

“I think I’m close, Pete,” you whimpered. He moaned and pressed his lips to your neck again, trailing a few kisses down your chest.

“Me too,” he moaned. “Oh, fuck, (Y/N), I’m so close. Cum for me, princess. Wanna feel you, feel you squeeze my cock.”

“Shit, shit,” you whined. You grabbed Peter’s head and forced his lips against yours again. He pried your lips open, his tongue massaging yours. After a couple thrusts, you felt Peter twitch and cum inside you. That combined with a few more quick rubs of your clit triggered your own release. Peter held himself up, not wanting to fall on you, but you gently pulled his body down so he was laying on top of you. He nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck, pressing delicate kisses to your skin as he softened inside you.

“Are you okay?” Peter asked, kissing directly below your ear.

“Mhm,” you hummed, brushing your fingers through his hair. “Made me feel so good, Pete.” Peter smiled against your skin, then leaned back so he could place a proper kiss to your lips.

Peter pulled out of you, tied off the condom, and got up to throw it away in the bathroom. When he got back to the bedroom, you were snuggled under the covers, and Peter’s heart warmed at the sight. “Princess?” he said, kneeling beside you and stroking your cheek.

“Hm?” you hummed back, not opening your eyes.

“Why don’t you get up and go to the bathroom?” he said. “May said-” He cut himself off just as your eyes popped open.

“May said?” you repeated, sitting up slightly. You tucked your hair behind your ears and tried to fight back a grin.

“I didn’t say that,” Peter said, standing up and grabbing his boxers off the floor.

“Yes you did!” you giggled. “Oh my god, did you tell May about this?”

“No!” he said. “She, she guessed?”

“Oh my god,” you repeated, pushing yourself out of bed. You grabbed Peter’s sweatshirt and pulled it over your head, then placed a quick kiss to his cheek. “You’re so lucky you’re cute, because you’re an absolute dork.”

----- ----- ----- -----

TAGLIST

@bangtan-serendipity | @planetdemon | @the-singing-clown406 | @tomshufflepuff | @bluelalal | @grandloser | @jackiehollanderr | @mindset-jupiter | @bisexual-sk8r | @feel-like-gold | @runaway-apple | @miraclesoflove | @marvelismylifffe| @wonderbyers | @coraz0ndcristal| @lizmarvel​ |  @hannihannelora

#peter parker #peter parker imagine #peter parker x reader #peter parker fluff #peter parker smut #smut #spiderman #spiderman imagine #spider-man #spider-man imagine #marvel #avengers #request

[maylovexhs]

everytime - I KNOW PLACES (Chp. 24)

Author’s Note: Just a warning, I mention sensitive stuff in this chapter(stalkers) but that’s it. It’s brief mention. Hope you enjoy this one. -May

Catch up on everytime here

Aug 16, 2019. 2 PM. 

*Y/N’S POV*

Knock. Knock. Knock.

I stood outside the door, waiting for it to open. After a second, Harry opened the door for me.

“Surprise!” I said in a cheery voice. “Well, not actually since you saw me from the cameras”

Harry stepped to the side, allowing me inside.

“So, how has your morning been?” I asked, passing him. “Went for a run?”

“Actually, I went to the shop” Harry said, closing the door.

“How was yours?” Harry asked. “Slept in?”

“Uh-huh” I said, kicking my shoes off, leaving them on the shoe rack. “The old routine. End concert late, sleep in late”

Harry nodded, understanding.

“Please tell me you actually have something good for breakfast” I asked Harry. “And not any leftover smoothies”

Harry looked down, a little offended.

“You know, you don’t need to have one if you don’t want” Harry said.

“I know” I told him. “I just don’t see why there’s a need to have one”

I walked away from Harry and to his kitchen. I started rummaging through shelves looking for anything edible.

“Yes!” I said, finding some crackers.

“Crackers?” Harry asked. “For breakfast?”

“Well, you don’t have anything else” I told him. “Wait, do you have eggs?”

“Wait there” Harry said, walking away.

He returned a few seconds later with his phone in his hand.

“Avocado Toast or egg muffin?” Harry asked me.

“What?” I asked.

“Postmates” Harry said.

“Oh” I said. “Neither”

Harry raised his eyebrows at me.

“Neither?” He asked.

“Neither” I said. “Pancakes”

I walked out of the kitchen, Harry following me behind.

“Pancakes it is”

Two hours later.

“I need to add how to make biscuits to my list” I said, setting my plate on the table.

"I thought you already knew how" Harry said. "Didn't you bake some the first few times I was at your apartment?"

I shook my head, blushing as I remembered what he was talking about. I sat back on the couch.

"Store brought" I said. "Twenty-three year old me was a horrible baker"

"Well, I could teach you or try to do it with you" Harry offered. "As someone who worked in a bakery before"

I smiled at him.

"Next time" I said. "Had enough biscuits for today"

"What about tomorrow?" Harry asked.

"Tomorrow I have a flight at three" I answered him.

"So, you can't make the Ariana's show tomorrow night either?" Harry asked me.

"You're going to Ariana's show tomorrow?" I asked him, surprised. "With who?"

"You know who" He said. "Mitch, Adam, Sara-"

"Sarah" I filled in for him.

He nodded.

"Well, sorry" I said. "As much as I would love to get drunk and dance my ass off, I can't"

"Next time" Harry said.

We looked to each other, smirking. Next time. When was there a next time for us?

I looked down to my lap, staying quiet for a moment.

"Do you miss him?" Harry asked me.

I looked up to Harry.

"What?" I asked him.

"Ashton" Harry said. "Do you miss him?"

I bit my lip.

"A little" I admitted. "Not talking to him though"

"Aw, why?" Harry asked.

"Don't want to get into it but . . . it doesn't feel like the right time" I said. "I talked enough about it to Ali and Aaron yesterday"

Harry looked down, smirking to himself.

"Stop making fun of my misery" I told him.

"Oh, I'm not" Harry said. "I just find it ironic"

I raised my eyebrow at him.

"You're just usually the more hopeless romantic one of the both of us" Harry said.

"I am" I said. "I've always been one"

"Really?" Harry asked me. "You don't sound like one now"

I gently kicked his leg.

"Hey, hey, hey! All I'm saying is that you changed" Harry said. "Nothing bad about it but I remember you being different. You used to have a 'glow' in your eyes whenever you talked about someone"

"And I don't now?" I asked him.

"You do" Harry said. "It's just less noticeable"

I looked down, thinking. I mean, he wasn't wrong. . .

"I'm just trying to be realistic" I said to Harry. "I want to be with Ashton more than anything but . . . starting a relationship on tour? You know how hard it could be. It's just not the right time"

Harry nodded, keeping silent for a few seconds. He smiled to himself.

"What about being his friend then?" Harry asked me.

"You mean, talking to him but not dating him?" I asked.

"Yeah" Harry said. "Well, until tour finishes but it has to be better than not being with him at all"

"Right..." I said in sarcasm. "I should just call him up like 'Hey, Ash. Wanna be pretend to be friends even though we both kissed and obviously like each other?'"

"Well, don't say it like that" Harry said.

I laughed at Harry. Not even a second after I felt myself leak. Leak down- down there.

I stopped laughing, realizing I was late for my period. Shit.

“What’s that look for?” Harry asked me.

“Umm, nothing.” I told him. "I think I just got my period

Harry looked to the side, having no idea how to respond to that. He looked back to me a quick second after.

"Surprisingly, I think I have some of Camille's leftover pads in the bathroom" Harry said.

"Won't need" I said, getting up from the couch. "Always have one on me"

My phone vibrated on the table. Harry grabbed it for me, looking at who was calling.

“It’s Lisa” Harry said.

“Answer for me” I told him. “Gotta check”

I turned away and walked out of the living room and to the bathroom. I locked the bathroom door and pulled my pants and underwear down. I looked at my underwear.

No blood. Thank god.

I pulled my pants back up, sighing in relief. I unlocked the bathroom door and walked back to Harry, who was setting my phone on the table again.

“False alarm” I said in relief, sitting back on the couch. “What did she want?”

Harry blinked at me, a little surprised.

“Vogue?” Harry asked me.

“Italy’s Vogue” I said.

"Still, Vogue" Harry said.

"And?" I asked him. "I've done Vogue before. Nothing new"

"News to me" Harry said to me. 'Didn't tell me about it"

"Because only my team is supposed to know about it" I said.

"So did mine when I did Rolling Stone" Harry said, pointing out the difference.

"Well, I'm sorry I didn't bring it up sooner" I faked-apologized to him. "Speaking of Rolling Stone, when is it coming out?"

"September" Harry said. "They sent me an early copy of it"

“Really?” I asked him. “Can I see?”

Harry looked at me, a bit hesitant.

“Oh, come on” I said. “It’s me”

"Hmm, you didn't tell me-"

"Just show me" I said to Harry, almost as an order.

"Fine" Harry said, getting up from the couch. "They're in my room"

I got up too, following him into his bedroom.

Of course, Harry's room was clean for the most part. I mean, it's Harry. He's cleaner than me and most people I know. His bed was made, there was no tossed clothes on the floor, his jewelry was in order. I was pretty sure Harry had a sprayed lavender before I came over too.

Harry walked over to his bedside table, shuffling through the several sheets of paper that was laid on the table. I sat on his bed, waiting for him to hand me the photos -which he did, after a moment.

"Here" Harry said, handing me the photos with a paper clip on them.

I looked through the photos, one by one.

The first two photos was of Harry, shirtless. The two photos were taken in different angles but it didn't matter. All of his chest and arm's tattoos were clearly bared in both photos.

"This one is going to be the cover" Harry said, pointing at photo in my hands.

"As it should" I said. "It's a tease of a cover"

Harry smiled at my comment. I flipped through to the next photo. This one was Harry wearing a blue hat with some feathers on it along with him wearing blue trousers and a blue jacket. I flipped to the next photo, which was a close up of Harry in the same attire.

"I'm guessing Harry L. picked this for you" I said to Harry.

"You don't like it?" Harry asked me.

"Oh, no. I do" I said. "Just know feather hats aren't your style"

"They are now" Harry said.

I shook my head, smirking. The next photo I looked at took my breath away for a second. It was Harry photographed in a field of flowers wearing a blue jumpsuit. I've seen countless photos of Harry before but this one - something felt special about this one.

"I kept the jumpsuit" Harry said. "I'm hoping to wear it on stage"

"You look god in it" I said. "You look beautiful here"

"Thanks" Harry said. "It's my favorite one we took"

I smiled to myself, an idea popping in my head. I looked to Harry.

"Can I take a picture of this?" I asked Harry. "Just to use as your profile pic for my phone"

"Why? What photo of me do you have now?" Harry asked me.

"You know which one" I told him. "The one of us backstage at your concert. I was with Felix and my hair was blonde"

"When I was with Camille?" Harry asked, remembering it.

I nodded.

"So, can I use it?" I asked Harry. "I swear I won't share it"

"Alright" Harry said. "But if I find one-"

"I got it, H" I told him, cutting him off from his joke.

I placed the photos on the side of the bed. I got up from the bed, walking towards the door. I tried to leave the room but the door wouldn’t budge. I looked down to see the door was locked. A pin needed to be entered to leave the room.

"Why'd you lock the door?" I asked, looking to Harry.

“Oh” Harry said in a weird tone. “Don't remember locking it"

Harry got up from his bed, walking towards me. He entered the pin, opening the door for me.

"Here" Harry said, holding the door open for me.

I held the door open, allowing Harry to return to his bed. He straightened the photos into a pile.

I squinted my eyes at him. He didn't remember locking the door. Neither did I.

"Does your door lock automatically?" I asked him.

Harry looked to me, pretending he didn't hear me.

"Your lock" I said. "Is it automatic?"

"Uh, yeah" Harry said, looking down. "Aren't you getting your phone?"

"I am but . . ." I said. "Why do you have a lock if you have the rest of your house to yourself? Isn't that annoying?"

"The lock's broken" Harry said, changing his story. "I'm getting a guy to fix it"

I stood there, staring at Harry. Something didn't sit right with me about this.

I took my hand off the door, letting it close.

"Are you lying?" I asked him.

"Lying?" Harry asked me, sounding defensive. "Why would I be lying?"

"H" I said, sitting down on the bed, next to him. "How long have we been friends?"

Harry bit his lip, looking down. I placed my hand on his.

"H, what's wrong?" I asked him. "You can tell me anything"

Harry didn't say anything for a moment before sighing, giving in.

“I have . . . a stalker” Harry said in a low voice, almost like he didn’t want me to hear. "Had a stalker"

“What?” I asked him. “When did you have a stalker? Why am I just hearing about this?”

“A few months ago. We sued him” Harry said, looking up to me. “It’s all okay now"

“Is it?” I asked him. “Because you’re still using a lock. Is that why there are so many papers on your table? Are those the lawsuit papers?"

“It’s all under control, Y/N” Harry said. “I really don't want to talk about it. I just want to leave it all behind me. I promise I am okay.”

I stared at him, not knowing if I should trust him. Was he really okay? He didn't seem okay. He was sleeping with a panic lock every night. You don't sleep with a panic lock unless you don't feel safe. Was he sleeping with a panic lock for months? Was he that traumatized he needed to sleep with a lock every night?  

“Y/N” Harry said, squeezing my hand.

I blinked at him, snapping out of my thoughts.

"I'm okay" Harry said. "You don't have to worry about me. My team is taking care of it. My stalker is away in his own country and I have a bodyguard that stays with me at night"

"A bodyguard too?" I asked him. "How is that okay?"

"Y/N, I wouldn't be here if I didn't feel safe" Harry said. "I swear I'm alright. You don't need to worry"

I bit my lip, frustrated. I sighed, deciding to let it go.

“Okay” I said. “But if you ever feel like it, or if he ever comes back . . . you can always stay by me"

"I know, I know" Harry said. "But London's home. Can't just leave it because of one person"

I leaned my head on Harry's arm. I sighed.

"Nothing better happen to you" I said to him. "The last thing I want is you to get hurt or feel unsafe"

"I am safe" Harry said. "I feel safe with you”

I looked up to Harry who was looking down at me. We slowly smiled at each other.

I felt safe with him too.

"You're not getting your phone, aren't you?" Harry asked me.

"No" I said, still smiling at him. "No, I'm not"

#harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines #hs imagines #harry styles fanfiction #hs fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #everytime chapters

[imagine-that-100]

Falling For You

Description: Shawn Mendes x Reader (Female) | You are the lifelong best friend of Shawn Mendes. You have both loved The 1975 for years and when you attend the Brit Awards with Shawn, Matty Healy reveals some new information to you. When you and Shawn attend their concert later on in the year your wildest dreams come true.

Thank you so much for requesting this @lololovestaylor! I adored writing this! x

Word Count: 16.2k

Warnings: Catcalling 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Being away from someone is hard. It’s hard when you haven’t seen them for a few days or even a week. But you suffered from that particular type of pain more than most people. And you had been for suffering for years.

Since the age of 15 you had been separated from your best friend and despite wishing him all the luck in the world, it broke you every time he left. The moments together were spent messing around and you never leaving his side.

Shawn has been your best friend since you could remember. You were born on the same day and you’d grown up together. Going to the same schools and you were by his side almost every step of the way of him becoming the famous Shawn Mendes.

You had been there through it all. You were the one who told Shawn to put his covers on YouTube and were there to help him edit the videos when he needed it.

You were there when he got signed and you were there when everything became a little too much for him and he needed a reminder of home. You were his home. And he was yours.

You missed your best friend like crazy and you wished you spoke more whilst he was away. You were always hesitant to message him though.

You knew he was either busy, on stage or tired and you didn’t want to interrupt his schedule. So, whilst he was away you took a back seat and let Shawn control things.

You’d let him call you and you’d stay up till the silly hours of the morning chatting to him when he needed to get his emotions out. You even got excited when it was just a quick 2-minute call to check in.

Anytime his name flashed up on your screen you loved it because it was a piece of your best friend coming back to you. You called or texted him on occasion but only when you desperately needed him.

One of those times was when one of your favourite band released tickets in Toronto and you couldn’t stop yourself from getting the both of you tickets. It was 9am and you knew Shawn had got back to his apartment really early that morning, but you didn’t care.

You’d just got the both of you tickets to see The 1975 on June 3rd and you were so excited. You hadn’t been to a concert in ages.

The last time you saw Shawn live was when he brought you to the shows that he did in Toronto for the Illuminate tour. You had only been to one other concert after that and it wasn’t as good as Shawn’s.

However, you had been obsessed with The 1975 ever since Shawn made you listen to their first album, just after Shawn had gotten big. You remembered the day like it was yesterday.

You had been listening to Stitches on the radio sat in Shawn’s bedroom and you’d been grinning at him the whole time whilst singing along. You’d re-enacted the music video by faking a punch to the face and you fell on his bed whilst screaming along to the lyrics.

By the end you and Shawn were both in fits of giggles and your head was lay in his lap. You were out of breath and were focused on getting your breathing back under control, staring at his ceiling.

You felt Shawn rest his hand on your hair and twirl it around his fingers and you zoned out for a moment. A few seconds later though Shawn interrupted your peace and said “Y/N, please tell me you have listened to this song?”

You tuned back into reality and heard an upbeat song playing on the radio. You listened for a moment as the lyrics bounced around the room.

“And she said use your hands and my spare time. We’ve got one thing in common, it’s this tongue of mine. She said oh. She’s got a boyfriend anyway”

You sat up, getting off Shawn and your hair fell out of his fingers as you turned towards him and said “Never heard it in my life Mendes”

“Oh my god, listen to it please” Shawn said putting a finger over his lips instructing you to be quiet.

You smiled at him and did as you were asked and carried on listening. You heard the lyric “she’s got a boyfriend anyway” a few times and smirked at Shawn.

You said “I think she’s got a boyfriend” with a cheeky grin on your face.

“Shut the fuck upppp” Shawn groaned and poked you in your side causing you to giggle.

You lent your head on his shoulder and carried on listening to the song. Or to be more specific you listened to Shawn sing along to the song. “And now we’re on the bed in my room...”

You happily listened to him sing along to the song and the more you listened the more you found yourself enjoying it. You started tapping along to the beat and found yourself getting into the song.

You wanted to know the lyrics, you wanted to sing along. Shawn sang the lyric “If we’re gunna do anything we might as well just fuck”

Your eyes widened and your head snapped towards him. His eyes met yours and you gasped “That was too vulgar to come out of your mouth Shawnie”

You pushed his shoulder and let out a laugh at the face he was pulling at you. “I’ve had sex you idiot” He said pushing you back.

“Tell me about it, you’ve brought it up once or twice” You rolled your eyes. When it happened, he told you everything. Literally everything. And you were happy for him, but you didn’t really want to know.

The last few months you started to imagine a life with Shawn, like every teenage girl did with a crush. A life with his as more than your best friend, but you would never, ever compromise what you had with him.

And that’s what Shawn stayed as. Your best friend who you told absolutely everything to. After that day you both found yourself listening to The 1975’s first album a lot.

His Mom would always complain that we needed to mix it up a bit because it was the same songs on repeat. That and she didn’t like the language the song used.

It was definitely no surprise to you that there was little to no swearing on Shawn’s first album. But you loved each and every song anyway.

As a teen you quickly fell in love with all of the boys in the 1975 and because you were a basic bitch, Matty was obviously your favourite. Before Shawn went on tour for the first time, he would hear about how you would let any member of the band do whatever they wanted to you.

Yes, you were a horny teen and no, you didn’t care. And neither did Shawn really. He found it quite funny at times. He would joke about how you needed to get laid and you would play it off as if you didn’t want Shawn to ‘satisfy your needs’ as he put it.

There was a horrendous about of banter between the two of you and it was really no wonder that your crush developed. The cutest, most talented brunette boy in Canada was your age and your best friend.

Needless to say, when you secured your tickets to The 1975’s show at the Budweiser Stage you called Shawn immediately. You didn’t for a second think he was going to answer which is why you got dressed and started to make your way over to his apartment.

The late nights and early mornings really didn’t agree with your best friend and you knew that very well. There were mornings when you both had to be up for ice hockey and you’d accidentally fell asleep at his or the other way round, and you had to drag him there half dead.

Clearly, with Shawn touring he was even more tired. Usually you felt bad for him, so you let him rest but today was not one of those days.

You didn’t even get annoyed when people bumped into you on the hectic sidewalk, you just kept your destination in mind. You were about to see your best friend in person for the first time in 4 months and give him the best news.

The chilly November breeze didn’t even phase you. You were too excited to let anything get you down.

You made your way up to his apartment, remembering how you had to heave his boxes up the stairs because the lift was broken when he moved in. It was a funny day but by the end you were both knackered and fell asleep with a half-eaten pizza in front of you.

You banged loudly on his door and hoped he would get up and let you in. After a minute of constant banging on his door you heard your phone go off.

Use your key you psycho  

You rolled your eyes and quickly unlocked his door. You loved how he knew it was you. Nothing has changed at all.

You push the door open and slam it shut behind you, in hopes to wake him up a bit more. You also kicked your shoes off as you know you’ll end up sat on his bed.

“Shawn” You shouted bursting through his bedroom door.

“Y/N” He groaned rolling over to face you. You can see in the dark room that Shawn’s lay on his bed with nothing but his black Calvin’s on.

He opened his arms out to you and you fell into them. You felt his arms wrap around you and you hugged him tightly. “I’ve missed you Mendes” You murmur into his ear.

“I’ve missed you too” Shawn said hugging you the tiniest bit tighter. After a second, he rolled you over, so you were lay down next to him. You let out a squeal as you did so which caused Shawn to laugh.

Once he let you go you both lay there for a second just enjoying each other’s physical company again.

“Didn’t know you were still doing your photo shoot Mendes” You said pulling on the waist band of his underwear and letting it slap back onto his skin.

“That. Hurt.” Shawn said almost pushing you off the bed.

“Oh shut up you model” You poked his side. He’d sent you the pictures that they had taken from him last month and you couldn’t stop laughing. After the initial shock obviously.

“I’m not a model Y/N” Shawn said with a moody look on his face.

“Oh yeah because you haven’t just modelled for the biggest underwear brand in the world” You joked. Shawn have you a look and you just could get the smile off your face.

“You’re going to break the fucking internet when they release them Shawn” You tell him, and he waves you off. It was nice to see that he was still down to earth despite nearly every household in the world knowing who he was.

Shawn let out a breath and closed his eyes again. You watched as he pretty much fell back to sleep before you slapped his chest.

“Y/N please just let me sleep” Shawn groaned, pleading with his eyes.

“Nooooo” You whined. “I have news” You smiled.

“No. No news until I’ve had another few hours of sleep” Shawn said throwing the duvet over you.

“But Shaw...” You started but he shut you up. He put a hand over your mouth and looked into your eyes.

“No Y/N. Let’s just sleep. Like we used to” He said, and you didn’t argue. You knew he must be really tired because he was never usually like this.

You fell asleep with the memory of all the times in the past when you’d fallen asleep with your best friend beside you. You really did miss having him with you and you were glad he was back.

You woke up 3 hours later. You were on the verge of sweating. You were dressed in your Youth hoodie that Shawn gave you ages ago and skinny jeans. The duvet was also over you and so was Shawn’s tattooed arm.

You lay there for a moment getting your brain back into gear. You hadn’t realised how tired you were. Getting the tickets must have really woken you up.

You shuffled out of bed quickly and threw the curtains open. The light that entered the room was blinding and by the hiss that Shawn let out, you would have guessed that he was a vampire and the light was burning him.

You laughed as you walked towards the bathroom and watched him writhe in pain. He let out obscene profanities and threw a pillow at you when you shouted “Get up, I have news”

You just dodged the pillow as you slipped into the bathroom and let out a laugh. You found your toothbrush in the pot where you left it last and got the rotten taste out of your mouth.

Shawn came in a minute later in and moved you out of the way so he could do the same. His hair was a complete mess. It reminded you of the time that he hadn’t brushed it in a week, but now it was longer, so it was worse.

You finished up quickly and watched as sleepy Shawn slowly came back to life because you said “Right, I have news. Meet me in the lounge”

“Are you okay?” Shawn asked with a mouthful of toothpaste. He was looking at you with worry through the mirror.

Your eyes connected with his brown ones and you smiled “I’m wonderful”. After you slipped out of the room you shout “Get dressed”

You rested yourself on Shawn’s comfy corner sofa and ordered the both of you some food. You really didn’t want to go outside again. It was also getting cold out now and you regretted not bringing a coat with you. Then again you weren’t planning to leave for at least a few days.

It always happened when Shawn got back. You would come round and he usually wouldn’t let you leave unless it was to join him at his parents’ house. You obviously didn’t complain, you wanted to spend as much time with him as you could whilst he was back.

Shawn came out a few minutes later and joined you on the sofa. “I’ve ordered us food” You smiled down at him as he lay his head in your lap.

You ruffled your hand through his hair and saw his face brighten up. You laughed hearing his stomach rumble and he asked, “What we havin’?”

“McDonalds because its quick and easy” You said before slapping his forehead.

“Ugh I hate you” Shawn said keeping his eyes closed, in hopes that you wouldn’t continue your assault.

“You love me, and you know it” You laughed. “Now wake up. I have news” You said watching as he sat up properly next to you.

“What is it?” Shawn asked, an uncomfortable feeling settling in his stomach.

You grinned at him knowing just how excited he was going to be. You seemed to leave it too long though because Shawn said “Tell me, you’re scaring me Y/N”

You started laughing and said “okay, okay… I got us standing tickets to The 1975” You tried not to freak out but you failed and started squealing seeing Shawn’s face beam.

“Really?” Shawn asked, running a hand through his curls

“Yeah, I got them this morning, I’m sooooo excited!” You practically yelled; You were that excited.

“Oh my god, Y/N I’m so excited! When is it?” Shawn asked you, hugging you tightly.

“June 3rd, please please please tell me you aren’t touring Shawn” You said, and Shawn’s eyes widened. You felt him go still and you knew what that meant.

You pulled back from him and said, “You are, aren’t you?” Shawn watched your face fall and his chest hurt. He hated that he was never around to do the stuff that you both used to do.

“I’m sorry Y/N” Shawn said running a hand through his hair. He felt so bad and watched as you tried to hide your disappointment with one of your bright smiles. He knew you too well though.

“It fine, don’t worry. I can just sell them on closer to the time and become just as rich as you” You laughed.

You were disappointed but in no way would you make Shawn feel guilty for doing what he loved. You would never ever come in between him and his career.

“I’m really sorry Y/N/N” Shawn said again, and he looked upset.

“Hey Shawn” You said resting a hand on his leg. He looked up at you and said “It’s honestly fine, you can just watch a chick flick with me to make up for it”

You stuck your tongue out at him and cheered him up until a knock on the door interrupted you. You said “I’ll grab it, you get blankets ready for the film”

Shawn nodded giving you a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. Shawn got his phone out and sent Andrew a quick text that said Please call me

You came back over with the food and Shawn got up to get the blankets. He wonders off into the other room when you hear his phone start to call next to you.

You pick it up off the sofa and see Andrews name flash up on the screen. You walk into his bedroom and saw Shawn grabbing a few blankets from inside his wardrobe.

“It’s Andrew” You say holding his phone out to him.

“Trade?” Shawn asked handing you the blankets in exchange for his phone.

“Give me five minutes and I’ll be all yours” Shawn says, and you smile back.

“Better had be” You joke as he answers the phone and you hear him giggle as you leave the room.

Shawn did indeed join you 5 minutes later and you both quickly devoured your food. You ended up putting To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before on and fell in love with Noah Centineo.

“Didn’t you do the Calvin shoot with him” You questioned, and Shawn nodded.

You chatted about that for a while and once the film finished you Shawn chose the next one. He elected to put on The Conjuring which you weren’t impressed about.

You hated ghosts and Shawn knew you did. You spent the whole of the film hiding into Shawn’s side because you just didn’t want to watch.

“You’re so lame” Shawn said as you jumped again.

“You’re a fucking idiot because you won’t be sleeping when I take up half your bed because I’m too scared to sleep in my own room” You said slapping his solid arm.

Shawn shook his head at you until his phone went off again. “You’re too popular for your own good” You said, and you watched Shawn smile at his phone and type a reply back to whoever it was.

“What?” Shawn asked, obviously not paying attention to you.

“Nothing” You laughed and diverted you attention to the film again.

A minute later Shawn said “I have some good news”

You looked round at him and asked “Ooo what is it?”

“We are going to The 1975 after all” Shawn told you and you looked at him confused.

“Erm no we’re not, you have a tour to do” You told him eating another biscuit and trying not to be scared of the TV.

“I changed the tour dates; Andrew approves so we’re going” He tells you and you looked back at him with your mouth ajar.

You jump on your best friend and give him the tightest hug in the world. “I can’t believe you! Why would you do that!” You shouted down his ear but still have your arms wrapped around his neck.

“Because. I wanna go to a concert with you again and I need a break in-between Europe and the rest of the world anyway” Shawn told you gripping onto you tightly. He’d missed you so much.

“But what about the fans?” You ask once his grip on you loosened. You looked into his eyes and saw the joy in them, and he saw your Y/E/C eyes beam with excitement.

“Tickets aren’t on sale yet, just changed the dates” He said trying to hold back a grin.

“Ahhhh Shawnnn” You squealed. “I’m sooooo excited” You said hugging him again. Shawn wrapped an arm around you again and he could feel you buzzing with energy.  

The rest of the day passed in a blur. Shawn had told his Mom the wrong date he was home, so you had the whole day together with no interruptions. You were just about to go into Shawn’s spare room (which was practically your room) when he said “You know earlier on when you told me you had news, I genuinely thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant”

Your eyes widened in shock, but you decided to joke around with it. “Oh my god Shawn how did you know?” You said, clearly joking.

Shawn grinned at you from the door that led into his room “Very funny”

“No Shawn, I’m serious it’s your baby” You said rubbing a hand over your stomach. You couldn’t help yourself from starting to laugh and neither could Shawn.

After a while your laughter died down and Shawn said “Honestly though, I thought you were going to tell me that you and Jake were expecting”

You smiled at the ground and shook your head “Nah, me and Jake went our separate ways about two months ago”

“What?” You heard Shawn say softly. You just nodded at the ground not finding the heart to look at him.

Shawn was on his festival tour when it happened and the last thing you wanted to do was interrupt any of it. He never asked, so you never told him. You just called him now and again when you needed reminding that you were worth something more than what Jake had ended up making you feel like.

“Yeah” You said quietly as you heard Shawn walk over to you.

“Y/N, why didn’t you tell me?” Shawn asked bringing you into a tight hug.

You hugged him back feeling guilty about not telling him in the first place. “I didn’t want to bother you whist you were away” You tell him honestly. He was your best friend; he knew when you were lying so there was no point in doing so.

“Y/N, you’re my best friend it’s what I’m here for. You call me whenever you need me” Shawn told you comfortingly but soothingly at the same time.

“You were there for me. I listened to Treat You Better on repeat for like a week and cried my feelings away” You joked but there was truth to your statement. You did cry listening to it a few times.

“Y/N, your making me feel so bad right now” Shawn said hugging you tighter. Your grip on his top tightened probably leaving a wrinkle in it but at this moment you doubted he cared.

“I’m sorry, I hate to bother you when you’re away, you’re always really stressed and busy and the last thing I wanna do is add to that by you having to talk to me” You said into his shoulder.

Shawn’s head was spinning. He couldn’t believe he hadn’t been there for you when you needed him the most. You both stayed silent for a few minutes just in each other comforting embrace.

When Shawn let you go you saw that he was having one of his inner conflicts and you were about to say something, but he got there first. “You ever need me Y/N and I mean ever, no matter the time, you call me, and I will be there” He said in a stern voice.

You knew he wasn’t joking and so you nodded your head. “Promise me Y/N?” Shawn more told you than asked.

You nodded again “I promise” and gave him another hug. After another minute you both said goodnight to each other. It had been a long day of you both doing nothing but you both knew that you needed your rest for tomorrow.

A day when Shawn came home was hectic for everyone involved. Karen loved to spoil Shawn when he came home and because you were rarely apart it ended up in you being spoiled as well.

On the odd occasion you would go around to see Aaliyah and Karen would even spoil you then. You felt she was your Mom at times in the past because you were there that often. When you went round though you also felt like when you were somehow closer to Shawn when his family were around you.

You remember the last time you were there, which was just after you split up with Jake, you walked past Shawn room on the way into Aaliyah’s and the wave of loneliness hit you. It was like you had lost a piece of yourself and someone just reminded you that it was gone.

Once Aaliyah had shown you the stuff that she had bought and got you to help her, you gave yourself a few minutes break. You slowly opened Shawn’s bedroom door and took a step in.

It was exactly like he left it, but tidy. His guitars scattered around the room and his bed freshly made. The last time you were in this room you’d both fallen asleep watching music videos and woken up the next morning to the smell of freshly cooked pancakes. Needless to say, you had both raced downstairs and ate as much as you could.

You’d been sat on Shawn’s bed for a minute and you hugged his shitty guitar pillow that you’d bought him years ago to your chest. You really missed him, and you’d only just realised how much.

The next thing you knew Karen knocked lightly on the door and snapped you out of your memories. You smiled up at her and you remembered that she came in the room and joined you.

You remember both letting a few tears fall at the memories you were telling each other about. You ended up hugging her when she told you that she thought of you like part of the family and she let it slip that it when Shawn was away, she felt like she’d lost two kids instead of one.  

When you got home that night you remember having a good cry and letting your emotions loose. That was one of the days where you called Shawn first and he immediately made you feel better.

When you climbed into Shawn’s spare bed you found that sleep definitely wasn’t going to come easily. You felt so bad for not telling Shawn and everything to do with Jake was spiralling around your head.

Before you knew it, an hour had passed, and you were staring at the ceiling hoping boredom would send you to sleep. That didn’t happen though.

What did happen was you jumping out of your skin when the door handle rattled. You stared at the door as it began to open, and your heart started thudding.

You really needed to stop watching those horror movies because you feared the absolute worst when it was just Shawn. You released the breath that you were holding and said “You just scared the shit out of me”

You heard him laugh as he closed the door behind him and got under the covers with you. “You scared me so much” You said beginning to calm down.

“Really?” Shawn asked and you nodded. You took ahold of his wrist and placed his  hand over your chest so he could feel your beating heart.

“Jesus, you are a wimp” Shawn laughed, and you did too.

“What you doing here anyway Mendes? Scared of the dark?” You asked playfully before returning your gaze to the ceiling.

“No, I just couldn’t sleep” Shawn told you whilst shuffling about, you assumed to get himself comfortable.

“Same” You whispered. After that you lay there in silence for a few more minutes until Shawn cautiously asked, “What happened Y/N?”

You let out a breath and started to divulge in the story. As you did so you just stared at the ceiling and let the words escape from your lips.

You told him about how Jake slowly started becoming more distant and more abrupt with you. He was always joking around but he’d started doing that with everyone but you.

You told him how it got worse and you were always arguing and then it turned out that he’d been cheating. You don’t know when the tear fell down your face, but you assumed Shawn saw it because he took ahold of your hand and intertwined your fingers.

You clung onto the small comfort it gave you as you finished off the story. It wasn’t nice to relive because you were with Jake for almost a year but saying it out loud gave you more closure somehow.

Shawn listened silently and tried to keep his anger at bay for your sake. He was so protective over you that it took a lot for him to accept Jake in the first place.

Now he didn’t think he would trust anyone again with your feelings. You didn’t deserve to be crying in bed over an asshole. You deserved the world.

When your voice cracked when you’d just finished speaking was when Shawn’s heart really broke. He knew it would be easier for you to open up in the dark as if no one was there because you hated talking about yourself. But being with you and hearing your heartbreak broke him.

Shawn let go of your hand and pulled you into him. You buried your face into his chest and let the tears fall. You hated that you were crying over an asshole who didn’t care.

After a few minutes of Shawn holding your shaking body he started to try and make you feel better. Just by him being there and hugging you was doing the trick, but his voice soothed you immensely.

After a few minutes you were calming down and Shawn’s pyjama top was drying up your tears. Shawn has gone onto being funny now and was saying “What is it that Matty Healy says? Get someone you love, get someone you need...”

You started to laugh at Shawn’s lame excuse of a joke. Shawn smiled upon hearing your laughter and he joined in.

“Come on, carry it on” Shawn said.

“Fuck that get money” You croaked out and you cringed because it definitely sounded awful.

“That’s it” Shawn laughed and before you knew it, you’d fallen asleep in his arms.

~*~*~*~*~*~

The beginning of February was cold to say the least. You were back to missing Shawn, but you felt a lot better within yourself.

Despite Shawn having to leave again at the beginning of December, he got you back to a good place. You were at the stage where you no longer cried over Jake.

It had been put to rest; you were at peace with the situation. Whilst Shawn was away you had talked pretty much every day which was nice and something you had to grow used to again.

When he came home for Christmas it was great. Your family went over to the Mendes household on Boxing Day for a big meal and it was awesome.

You were so lucky that your Mom and Karen were best friends. They had given you the greatest best friend in the world and you were beyond thankful that they stayed in touch after August 8th, 1998.

You and Shawn were born on the same day and that’s how they met. You’d literally known Shawn since the day you were born and consequently you were best friends because of it.

As you were walking the busy streets of Toronto you got a call from Shawn and you didn’t hesitate to answer. “Hey, what’s up?” You asked.

“Y/N, you’re coming to England” Shawn said abruptly.

“Erm, I don’t think I am” You laughed beyond confused.

“No, you are, I’ve just put your name down as my plus one for the Brit Awards” Shawn told you and panic started to rise in you.

“Shawn I can’t go to one of those with you, you know what people would say” You didn’t care about actually going, uou weren’t scared about that. You were scared about what people would do.

You didn’t want the media to start trying to ruin anything to do with Shawn’s career.  He had a hectic enough life as it was, and he didn’t need people speculating about the both of you.

There was enough speculation when you allowed Shawn to post the annual picture of the both of you on your birthdays. You had loads of the two of you on your own private Instagram which assholes from high school that you had on there would leak to the rest of the public.

“You’re coming and I’m not taking no for an answer. It’s basically just a big concert but we get food” Shawn, told you and you could hear excitement in his voice.

“Shawn...” You trail off.

“Y/N the 1975 are up for two awards, I’m up for one and I think the 1975 are performing... You are coming” Shawn said, and you could practically see his grin.

“Are you sure you want me there?” You asked cautiously.

“Don’t be stupid, of course I do” Shawn tells you. “I’ve been trying to get you to come to one of these with me for years”

“Okay” You say trying not to grin like a mad man whilst walking down the street.

“Awesome, I’m so excited” Shawn said, and you couldn’t wait.

Before you knew it, you were flying to England to meet Shawn. You’d been picked up at the airport by a security guard because Shawn was busy getting his suit adjusted or something.

Not that you minded you couldn’t wait to get to your hotel and sleep. You only got in an hour sleep before Shawn came and bothered you though. He insisted that he take you out and get you a dress considering he was forcing you to go to the Awards with him.

You understood that in his life you had to dress a certain way. If you were completely honest with yourself, you were actually excited to dress up like you were a celebrity. Be a part of Shawn’s life in a slightly different way to what you were used to.

You ended up picking out a black dress that was skin tight, apart from the skirt that flowed down to your mid-thigh. It also had long sleeves that came down to your wrists and you felt like a princess.

You had definitely never dressed in something so expensive, but Shawn insisted that you had to have it. He said you looked beautiful and you let yourself believe him this once.

It did look good on you and you could only imagine that it would look better when you’d had your hair and make-up done. This you were right about because when the stylists came to Shawn’s hotel room on the night, you felt like a completely different person than when they first entered.

They had given you a dark smoky eyeshadow which made your eyes stand out and curled your hair, so it looked beautiful. In the hotel you got a few pictures with Shawn on your phone and you loved them with the whole of your heart.

Shawn seemed to as well because he set the picture to be his home screen on his phone and subsequently you did too. You’d had a really great night with him and nothing had even happened yet.

At the start you felt a bit uncomfortable not really wanting to be in a foreign country on your own, but you also didn’t want to go on the red carpet with Shawn. You didn’t need the speculations to start and you really valued your privacy.

So, you went inside with Andrew and took a seat as you waited at your table for Shawn to return. You were sat a few tables away from the centre stage and Andrew was catching up with you when Shawn arrived. He informed Andrew that the interviews went well and then proceeded to chat to you for the rest of the night.

Shawn watched as you silently freaked out when you spotted The 1975 boys sit down a couple of tables away from you. You were grabbing onto Shawn’s arm and practically shaking him trying to point them out to him.

Shawn was silently freaking out; you could see it in his face. He was your best friend; he couldn’t hide his excitement from you. You, however, didn’t have a reputation to uphold and you could freak out next to your best friend as much as you wanted to whilst they weren’t around.

You did the same thing with practically every famous face that you saw though. As the night went on and you’d eaten your food you had been introduced to a few people that came up to Shawn and you were fairly certain the camera had caught you a few times when it panned around to Shawn.

You tried not to let it get to you though. You enjoyed the night for what it was. The songs were amazing to listen to and you found that the host Jack Whitehall was extremely funny.

Your favourite part of the night was when he came over and took your seat for a few minutes and chatted to Shawn about how he did indeed break the internet with his Calvin Klein shoot. It was the lock screen on his phone and you almost cried with laughter, because of that and you could clearly see the embarrassment on Shawn’s face.

Shawn looked directly at you when you started laughing even more when Jack Whitehall said about “suspicious packages” You could see that Shawn wanted out of the situation very quickly and Jack seemed to pick up on it as well and after that he left him alone.

You did tell him when he signed up to do the shoot though. You genuinely couldn’t believe that your shy as fuck best friend was now a Calvin Klein model.

You and Shawn both later jumped up and applauded when The 1975 won both of their awards. The final one that they won distracted you from your rant about Shawn not winning his award.

Every time you watched an award show you truly believed that if they couldn’t be bothered turning up to claim the award, they didn’t deserve to have it.

And you thought Shawn was the best in the category. Your music taste didn’t have much range. You tended to listen to the same songs on repeat and only occasionally caught the new ones on the radio.

Shawn pleaded with you to shut up about it and that Drake deserved it over him but that was utter bullshit. You were about to tell him that when The 1975 got called again which thankfully distracted you.

Shawn hugged Matty twice on their way past and you really had to restrict your reaction. When they’d walked by though you sent Shawn a shocked face and he just grinned at you and hugged you after they had gone past.

You listened to their speeches and you wanted to cry for them seeing how happy they were. Then before you knew it, they were being announced to perform not 5 minutes later.

Shawn took you by the hand and pulled you up from your seats. He told Andrew that you would both be back, and he manoeuvred you both through the tables.

He took you to a section of the stage where no fans could really see him, but you had a great view. You managed to get there just as they started to sing Sincerity is Scary and you and Shawn both sang along.

You ended up in your ‘concert position’ as you called it. You had always been smaller than Shawn so when you went to concerts with him before he was famous you would stand in front of him.

It was an amazing performance and you were so sad it was just the one song. It made you so beyond excited for June. When it was finished you gave Shawn a hug and thanked him again for bringing you.

The next thing you knew Shawn had led you through some doorways and you were backstage. Your heeled ankle boots echoed through the hallway and when you saw famous faces in front of you, you went shy and quiet.

Matty had embraced Shawn in the third hug of the evening and Shawn congratulated him and then the others. Whilst Shawn was hugging the others Matty’s eyes met yours and you sent a smile his way.

“Shawn, I didn’t know you had a girlfriend” Matty said taking your hand in his. He flashed you a friendly smile before he kissed your hand. “What’s your name love?”

“Y/N” You tell him with a bright smile. “And I’m not, I’m just his best friend” You continue, either you or Shawn had to correct near enough everyone that came over to him about that tonight. Not that you really minded you were fairly certain whoever he invited would have been mistaken for the same thing.

“Congratulations by the way” You say half in panic “And you guys were amazing out there” You said, looking between the boys.

“Not amazing as you look in here” Matty said in his adorable accent. He then proceeded to twirl you around as his hand still had a hold of yours.

You laughed as he did it and said a shy “Thanks”

“Honestly man, you guys were great. We can’t wait to come see you” Shawn said joining you back at your side.

“You’re coming to see us?” Ross asked you nodded.

“Yeah I got us tickets to your Toronto show. I’m pretty excited” You told him and you were taken aback at how dashing he looked. You think your Matty obsession just transferred to Ross.

“Yeah she only came here with me tonight to see you guys” Shawn said smiling down at you. You nodded in agreement and said “Literally”

“Well get in here for a picture then” George said, waving you over to them.

“Nah, it’s alright. You guys have things to do, you don’t want to be taking pictures with me” You said standing slightly closer to Shawn.

Your best friend had other ideas for you though. “Y/N shut up and have your picture taken” He said pushing you towards Matty. “She’s been obsessed with you all since we were like 16” She tells them

You looked back at Shawn and threw a death glare at him and watched as he took his phone out of his pocket. “Fucking hate you Mendes, outing me like this in front of my favourite people on the planet” You seethed you wrapped your arms around Matty and Ross’ backs.

To your right stood Matty, who had just wrapped an arm around your neck, and George by his side. To your left stood Ross, who you could feel just placed his hand on the small of your back, and Adam stood next to him.

“Think you’ve been shot down there mate, you’re not your best friends favourite” Matty chucked and you nodded “True”.

“Shut up Y/N” Shawn said but you reiterated “Take the fucking picture then”

“Don’t act like you’re not loving life right now” Shawn said sending you a knowing look.

You bit your tongue and said a low “Imma fucking kill him”

You heard the band around you laugh and you all stood still as Shawn took your picture. “There you go, a picture you can obsess over till June now Y/N/N” Shawn said putting his phone down.

You broke apart from the boys and said, “Fucking hilarious Shawn, don’t act like we both didn’t jump around your house singing the all of their first album” You nudged him with your elbow and he gave you a dirty look.

Matty still seemed to be interested in your conversation and he said, “So you are pretty big fans then?”

You and Shawn nodded in sync. “Oh yeah, big time” You told him honestly and patted Shawn’s chest “This guy has wanted to get a picture with you for years”

“Mate” Matty said, putting a hand on Shawn’s shoulder “Come here, we all love your music. Why haven’t we had a photo yet?”

Matty takes out his phone and gives it you. “Will you please take our picture please Y/N?” Matty asks politely.

“Sure” You smile and poke your tongue out at Shawn before spinning around to get some distance between yourself and them. You wanted a full body shot of them. You needed this content in your life and you were sure the fans did as well.

You took one of Matty and Shawn together and then took one of the all of them and Shawn once Matty had shouted them over. They were great pictures and you would most definitely drool at them later.

Ross was fucking beautiful in person and Matty was just as flirty as you imagined. Adam and George were just as adorable as you dreamt as well. “Can you please airdrop me these?” You asked Matty as you handed him his phone back.

He did as you asked and airdropped you the photos and just after that you parted ways. You went and got all of your stuff from the tables and headed to the after party so you and Shawn could drink the night away.

You both decided that you would only be having a few glasses of wine at the actual awards and you would save the partying for later. Which you definitely did.

The after party was grand and Shawn make a big effort not to leave your side. The only time you left him was when you needed to get some air and he’d started chatting to Calvin Harris.

You insisted that you were okay to go alone, and Shawn put his jacket around your shoulders. “To keep you warm” Shawn smiles and then turned back to Calvin after again double checking you were okay.

You quickly went and grabbed another drink and then went outside. You didn’t particularly want to stand in the smoking area but that seemed like the fastest option for you to get outside.

You walked out the doors and went over to the far corner and lent against the wall. You welcomed the cold bricks the you could feel through Shawn’s jacket; they instantly brought your temperature back down.

It was just too warm with all the people in the room. Shawn standing with his arm around you all night also gave you the extra body heat you really didn’t want.

Thankfully the people outside seemed to be intrigued by the people around them or their cigarettes. You got your moment alone and you quietly nursed your large white wine.

After a few minutes of you people watching you spotted a few familiar faces. Ross and Matty has just come outside and you smiled at them.

They returned your smile and made their way over to join you. “Shawn finally left you on your own?” Matty asked lighting his cigarette.

You let out a little laugh and shook your head. “It’s just too warm in there, needed a minute outside”

Ross lit his cigarette and then opened the pack towards you to offer you one. “No thanks”

“Are you both as pure as each other?” Matty asked with a chuckle.

You laughed as well and nodded “Pretty much”

You stood chatting to them for a few minutes and Gabriella Brooks, Matty’s girlfriend came and joined you. Matty introduced you and she was lovely.

Even prettier than she was in the pictures that she posted. You all chatted for what seemed for a long time and then Matty blurred out.

“So how long have you been in love with Shawn” Matty asked and you nearly spat your drink out.

“Erm... I not” You nervously laughed. You honestly didn’t. Your crush had been and gone. It died out when you were nearly 17.

You’d had 2 long term boyfriends since then and hadn’t thought about Shawn that way since.

“Well how longs he loved you then? Because he clearly does” Matty stayed taking another drag of his cigarette.

“He definitely doesn’t, not like that anyway. We’re just friends” You say before taking a big gulp of your wine.

“Righttt... So that’s why he hasn’t put you down all night?” Matty chuckles. “And why you have that on?” He reiterated, pointing with his cigarette towards Shawn’s grey blazer.

You shook your head laughing “Definitely not like that”

Matty held his hands up in defence “Hey don’t shoot the messenger. I’m just putting things together”

You heard Gabriella say his name sternly, but you were actually intrigued to hear his bizarre theory. Matty told you that he’d seen how you both interacted.

When you move, he moves and the same goes for you. The way you messed around with each other and Matty had seen Shawn’s face when people had started flirting with you.

“Seems like you’re keeping a close eye on us” You pointed out and Matty let out a laugh.

“You’re a big fan, right?” He asked and you nodded. “So, you’ve heard one hundred and two?”

“Of course,” you said, nodding again.

“Then you know that I liked a friend when I was your age. And don’t get me wrong, I’m happy about how my life turned out now” He said wrapping an arm around Gabby’s waist.

“But at the time I hated myself about not saying anything. If I didn’t have Gabby now, I’d regret it till this day for not telling the girl” Matty told you honestly.

“So just pay a little close attention and you’ll see it” Matty’s said and you nodded.

“Anyway... slighter subject” Ross interrupted and took your attention.

“What’s your favourite song of ours then?” Ross smiled down at you.

“Antichrist” You said without any hesitation.

Ross started laughing and Matty blatantly told you to fuck off. You and Gabby laughed at that and she said a quick goodbye to you as she was going to find someone.

“No if I’m being honest my favourite to dance to is The Sound, my favourite to scream to is Ballard but my favourite to sit down and listen to is Falling For You” You told them both honestly.

Ross nodded seeming to appreciate your opinion. Matty started to chuckle and you looked at him expectantly, waiting for another joke to be thrown your way. The look said, ‘What now?’

“What?” Matty asked. “It’s just poetic, your favourite song is Falling For You and you’re in the exact same situation”

Your drunken mind wanted to hide yourself away and because Ross resided next to you, you thought it would be good to hide into him. You groaned at Matty’s stubbornness and lent into Ross’ chest.

You felt him laugh against you and enclose you in a hug which at this point you really needed. You snaked your arms around Ross’ body and returned the hug.

The last thing you needed was to start rereading into Shawn’s interactions with you. You rarely got to spend enough time with him as it was, the last thing you needed was to overanalyse your actions.

After a few seconds you looked up at Ross and asked, “Can you make him stop please?”

“I could try but I doubt he’d listen” Ross said loosening his grip on you but when you turned back to Matty you both still had an arm around each other.

“Maybe we should just leave him on his own” You suggested. Ross grinned down at you and nodded his head “That sounds very good to me”

“Oh, get a room” Matty scoffed, which caused you and Ross to turn and look at him.

You couldn’t stop smiling when you said “Maybe we will…” You shrugged your shoulders and looked up at Ross who raised his eyebrows suggestively at you. You saw a blush creep up his face as well, probably to match yours.

“As long as you don’t follow us” You continued looking back towards Matty.

After Matty stuck his tongue out at you, you heard your name being called from behind you. You turned your head and saw Shawn walking towards you.

In your drunken state you didn’t see Shawn’s face go from being extremely excited to see you to the smile falling off his face. But Matty did. Matty wasn’t drinking.

He noticed that Shawn had seen you, then noticed that Ross’ arm that was around you. “What you doing out here?” Shawn asked you cheerfully.

“Just redeeming myself from you embarrassing me earlier” You said pushing his shoulder.

“Yeah, I’m just trying to set her up with Ross and it’s going well” Matty laughed.

You rolled your eyes but went along with it. You looked up at Ross and both exchanged a knowing look understanding what Matty was up to.

“They look great together right Shawn?” Matty asked, pointing his cigarette towards you.

You noticed the smile saver on Shawn’s face. “I mean...” Shawn said running a hand threw his hair. “Y-Yeah” Shawn said with a half-smile.

You did notice that Shawn looked uncomfortable with the situation and you saw Matty send you a wide eyed look that screamed ‘Told you so’.

A slightly awkward silence came across your little group which made you down the rest of your wine. “Well I need another drink” You announced.

“Thank you both for keeping me company” You said smiling towards Matty and then Ross.

“Not a problem” Ross said before embracing you in a hug and kissed your cheek before letting you go. You then looked towards Matty who now raised his arms at you.

You grinned at him and gave him a hug. He whispered in your ear “Just think about it” before kissing your cheek then releasing you. You shook your head smiling at him and moved back next to Shawn.

You felt his hand immediately find your hip and he kept his hand resting there. Your blurry mind like the way he held you. It was strong and you felt protected. You needed to stop though you couldn’t let your mind go there again.

Matty had really pulled a number on you. “See you guys in June” You smiled and raised your empty glass at them as a wave goodbye.

“We’ll be sure to do your favourite song for you Y/N” Matty smirked at you taking another drag of his cigarette. You shook your head and tried not to laugh.

“I expect Antichrist as well then” You joked and Matty and Ross started laughing. Matty laughed loud and said “Fuck off”

You and Shawn laughed at that and then Shawn said with a smile “Thanks for keeping her company guys” The other boys waved him off and said it wasn’t a problem

You felt his hand grasp your hip slightly tighter and he looked down at you and said “Lets get you another drink”

Shawn turned the both of you around and you turned your head back to say the final goodbye to the boys. As you waved you noticed that Matty was sarcastically waving but also blowing teasing kisses at both you and Shawn.

Thankfully your best friend hadn’t turned back around like you had so your quickly turned your wave into a middle finger. You saw Ross start laughing as you and Shawn turned the corner and drank the night away.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

After that night everything returned to normal fairly quickly. You went back to your quiet student life in Toronto and got your final year finished up.

Your anxiety went through the roof whilst you were getting everything sorted but you had Shawn to thank for getting you through it. Shawn was on his European tour and you had no idea how he had the time for you, but he made sure he did.

He called you every 24 hours and you seemed to be getting each other through the stressful times in your lives. You and Shawn sort of helped each other out with your anxieties growing up.

You distracted each other and that was best for both of you. You really don’t know how you actually got through the past few years not calling or texting him when you were almost having a panic attack.

Whilst at College the panic attacks happened more frequently and most of the time you felt alone in the world. Sure, you had your friends in your classes, but Shawn was the one that helped with your anxieties. And you helped him though his.

You remembered his first tour. You were calming him down all the time during that. Whether it was sitting on the phone in silence to each other or talking him through it. You were there for each other.

After the after party at the Brits you desperately tried to erase Matty’s words from your mind, but on more than one occasion, you let yourself think about it. You over analysed everything down to the finest detail about the way Shawn said something or whether it had a deeper meaning.

You found that doing that led you to start panicking because you desperately didn’t want to lose your best friend over misreading his behaviour. So, you tried let it go.

If letting it go meant that you thought about it more and more as each day passed, then you’d let it go. It was only on occasion that you panicked over it.

Before you knew it, you were spending your College free days in bed watching Netflix. That was until April 21st when Shawn returned back home. However, the only thing that changed there was that Shawn joined you and you binged watched a few shows with him for the month he was back home.

You both obviously got on like a house on fire. The jokes were endless and so was the fun. Sometimes you caught yourself thinking about if Shawn liked you as more than a friend or not, and you let yourself day dream about it.

Before you knew it though, you found yourself in the same predicament that you were in when you were 16. Your crush on your best friend came back and you hated yourself for it.

You found yourself not wanted to let go of his hand when he held it, or not want to go back to your own apartment when you really had to. At one point you thought he was going to kiss you and you found that you were disappointed when he didn’t.

Thankfully as the days turned into weeks, you found that you were able to distract yourself more by your concert getting closer and closer. You saw online what the concerts looked like and you were so beyond excited.

It looked amazing. The visuals looked outstanding and obviously the live music was awesome. You found that on occasion you forgot that you’d actually met them. Despite your picture together being your home screen.

Before you knew it was the morning of June 3rd and you ran into Shawn’s bedroom and jumped on him. “Get up, get up, get up!”

“It’s Matty fucking Healy day and I’m ready to get fucked up” You said practically shaking Shawn to get up.

Shawn groaned and grabbed a hold of you, rolling you underneath him. You let out a yelp as he did so and you both started laughing.

Shawn hovered over the top of you with a big smile on his face. You couldn’t take the smile off of your face and Shawn seemed to notice.

“I think you’re a little too excited to see them again… They’re not actually going to fuck you, you know?” Shawn said.

“Never say never, Ross seemed keen the last time” You joked, sticking your tongue out at him.

You also raised your eyebrows suggestively trying to get on his nerves. You let out a small laugh when you saw Shawn’s face fall and pull a disgusted face at you. “You know I’m sorta joking” You said with a grin, even though in reality you really wouldn’t say no because you were single and horny as fuck.

“But they are fucking beautiful and I can’t wait for my favourite songs” You said with your grin getting surprisingly bigger.

Shawn furrowed his eyebrows at you and said “You do know I’m a singer too right? I can sing you them songs”

“Oh yeah” You said sarcastically. “You don’t even know my favourite song though”

He pulled a face down at you that essentially said, ‘of course I do you idiot’. You looked at him expectantly and you sat yourself up crossing your arms as you waited for him to start.

The pyjama boy sat to the side of you and you only just now noted how cute he looked. He was wearing red pyjama pants that had a tartan pattern and had a plain white top on. His hair was also everywhere and that somehow made him look even better.

“Well I know when you’re around cause I know the sound, I know the sound of your heart” Shawn sang and filled his room with his amazing voice.

He looked towards you triumphantly, but you shook your head at him and his face fell. “What do you mean that’s not you favourite! We always danced and sang to that one?”

“I mean my favourite deep in my soul” You said resting a hand over your chest and Shawn sat there for a few seconds looking at you in disbelief.

“I can’t believe my best friend doesn’t know my favourite The 1975 song” You said shaking your head and getting up off his bed. You needed to get ready for the day ahead. You needed to look your best.

You knew it was their last stop on their North America tour so if there was any night where you could get Ross’ attention and keep it for the night it would be this one. You needed to look amazing, not that you really thought you had a shot, but it was definitely worth a try.

“Wait, I can get this” Shawn said running a hand through his wavy hair.

“No, you’re a fucking let down, I’m getting ready” You said leaving his room.

A few hours later you were ready and waiting to go. You were freshly showered and shaved, and you had your concert outfit on. It was a warm day, so you decided to go for something slightly extra than what you were used to.

You wore black ripped skinny jeans with black fishnets underneath and you made sure they came above the waistband of your jeans to show off you were wearing them. You wore a sexy black and red bralette and a black mesh top over the top of that, so people knew you weren’t playing. To finish off your look for the day, you wore your black Vans and your camouflage jacket over the top.

Your makeup was fairly simple. You went for a winged eyeliner that made your Y/E/C eyes stand out and applied your favourite matte red lipstick. You decided to straighten your hair in hopes that the heat wouldn’t make you look like a complete mess by the time the concert was finished.

When you’d finished completely you felt pretty for the first time since the Brits and you couldn’t wait to do your pre-concert traditions with Shawn. When you came out of your room you found him on his sofa with his feet resting on his coffee table.

“Y/N I do know what your favourite song is” He said without looking up from his phone.

“Oh yeah?” You said, picking up an apple from the kitchen island and taking a bite. Shawn started singing the chorus to fallingforyou and you smiled at him whilst he sang.

He was so utterly enticed by whatever he was doing on his phone and you were enticed by his amazing voice. He finished the final “I’m fallin’ for you” and looked up at you.

You smiled at him before taking another bite of your apple, but you noticed Shawn’s jaw drop slightly and take in your appearance. Something about Shawn changed quickly when you said “Very good”

It was like he was jolted awake and he stood up in front of you. You’d only just now noticed what he was wearing.

He was wearing his white top that had Heaven written on the front, with his black jeans and his black boots. If you weren’t his best friend, you would have seriously believed that he slept in those boots because he never went out in anything else.

“You look amazing Y/N/N” Shawn smiled at you, you noticed that he looked nervous for some unknown reason, but you dismissed yourself. You really needed to stop reading into things.

He looked stunning to say the least and you noticed the sunglasses that were hooked around the collar of his top. “Thanks, not so bad yourself Mendes” You joked.

“What are those for?” You questioned, walking closer to him and tugging slightly on his shades.

“Ah” Shawn said, and he reached over to the side of the sofa and picked up his black zip up hoodie. You ate your apple as you watched him struggle to put his jacket on and almost poked his eyes out with his glasses.

He threw his hood up and said “What do you think? Think anyone will recognise me?”

“I’d see you coming from a mile away” You laughed. “But that’s because I know you so well, you’ll be fine… If anyone starts just jump over the barrier at the front and someone will save you”

Shawn laughed at that and within the next hour you and Shawn were doing your pre-concert tradition. You found yourself sat in the nearest Five Guys which is just something you both did the last few times you’d been to concerts.

You usually just chilled out in there for hours before the concert started. Not for any reason other than boredom but this time after an hour Shawn cut your visit short.

“Ready to go” Shawn said wiping his face with a napkin then scrunching it up and throwing it at you. He laughed when it hit your unsuspecting face.

“I hate you” You giggled, shaking your head at him. You threw it back at him and laughed more when it bounced off his nose.

“Nah you don’t” Shawn said standing up and putting his hoodie back on.

You stood up as well and started to slip your jacket on. As you did though you heard someone cat call from the table near yours. You’d noticed the guy looking your way a few times whilst he was eating.

He looked about your age, but you found the staring quite creepy. He looked quite cute. Dark curly hair, blue eyes and a very nice jawline, it was almost as good as Shawn’s. He would have been cute if he hadn’t been staring at you.

You rolled your eyes and just pretended that you didn’t hear it and pulled your hair out from underneath your jacket. Thankfully it seemed like Shawn didn’t hear it and he was too focused on making sure he had everything.

“You ready?” Shawn asked from across the table and you smiled nodding at him.

Shawn smiled at your before he turned around and started walking to the door. He knew you were a few paces behind him, and he couldn’t wait to show you your surprise.

As you started walking to follow Shawn, you heard a louder catcall this time and when you just carried on walking until you felt a hand hit your ass.

You practically jumped a foot forward before turning back around to face the fucker who just slapped you. “The fuck do you think you’re doing?” You shouted at the brunette sat down. You saw red and you weren’t going to put up with it.

“Aw come on babe lighten up” The guy said looking up at you as if he was innocent.

You felt heard Shawn walk up behind you and you heard him asked what’s going on. “Oh fuck off” You said to the guy before you turned around and pushed on Shawns chest trying to get some distance between him and the guy.

“He slapped my ass” You murmured to him continuing to move him towards the door. As soon as Shawn heard that though he started pushing against you and said a very loud “What” You desperately tried to calm him down, but he ended up moving the both of you half way back to the guy.

You didn’t want the idiot to ruin your day, you could tell that Shawn was steaming underneath those sunglasses. “Shawn please can we just go” You pleaded to him and he looked down at you and after letting out a deep breath he agreed.

“Awh no the nice view is leaving. Come back honey” The guy yelled at you. You don’t know why he carried on because now there were more people telling him to stop from all around you. Before you even knew what was happening, Shawn had side-stepped you and was shouting at the guy.

“Don’t you fucking dare talk about my girl like that you fucking asshole. You don’t have the right to speak to anyone like that so why don’t you just fuck off back to whatever hole you crawled out of” Shawn shouted at the guy towering over him.

You were pulling on Shawn’s hand begging him to come away from the guy. “Shawn” You said over and over again during his rant. You were grateful he was sticking up for you, but you just wanted to escape with him.

Shawn seemed to realise your hand clasped his because as soon as he was finished with his speech, he marched out of the place with you following along behind him. You both walked towards the side of the building where Shawn continued his rant, but your brain wasn’t processing it properly.

You had never seen him so angry in your entire life. He was practically pulling his hair out in anger and he wouldn’t stop pacing from side to side. Shawn wouldn’t stop ranting at you and you didn’t know how to make him stop.

All you did was repeat “Hey” a few times softly trying to make him calm down and listen to you. That didn’t seem to be working very well and he was still pacing.

You walked up to him and said “Hey” a bit louder. He was still shouting to no one in particular and not paying attention to you, so you ended up grabbing the back of his neck to try and make him look down at you.

“Shawn look at me” You said softly trying to gently pull his head round to look at you. Shawn seemed to calm down after a few seconds and you could slightly see through his shades that you now had his attention.

“Are you okay?” Shawn said sincerely. You could hear the anger in his voice, but you knew it wasn’t directed at you.

“Shawn I’m fine, I promise” You said releasing a breath that you didn’t know you’d been holding.

“I’m sorry that I let that fucker touch you” Shawn said hugging you. You hugged yourself into him and wrapped your arms around his neck considering they were already there.

“It’s not your fault” You murmured against him and you felt him squeeze you tighter. The hug lasted a solid minute and when you slowly released each other you felt the pull between the both of you.

You didn’t know what it was, but it felt like a weird connection and you wanted to kiss him. You looked up to him and cursed his sunglasses.

Usually you could tell what Shawn was thinking when you looked into his eyes. But because of the sunglasses you were stumped.

If he was looking at your lips, then you’d know that he felt it too. Of course, you moved away from him, you didn’t need to read into things today of all days.

Shawn cleared his throat and stuffed his hands in his pockets. Thankfully he looked as if he’d calmed down a lot and ready to get on the move.

“Ready for ice cream Mendes” You said starting to walk down the street.

Shawn walked next to you and nudged your shoulder “Always”. He smiled down at you and continued “We’ll have to take it and go though, I have a surprise”

You turned and gave Shawn a suspicious look. “What?” Shawn said innocently raising his hands.

“It’s all good I promise” Shawn said throwing an arm around your shoulder and you walked to the closest ice cream parlour.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

You’d treated yourself to two ice creams because of the trauma that you and Shawn had just been through. By the time you got to your surprise you were onto your second ice cream.

At this point you were both walking into the arena through a private entrance, so you were pretty certain you knew what your surprise was. You couldn’t stop grinning and Shawn couldn’t stop talking the piss out of you for it.

He knew that since the last time you met them your little crush on Ross had turned into a bigger one. You hadn’t stopped telling Shawn about your flirting with Ross when you got back to the hotel that night in England.

You were so excited to see them all again. You just hoped Matty didn’t bring anything up.

As you were both escorted by a security guard through the building you were trying to remain calm. “Do I look okay?” You asked Shawn, running your free hand through your hair.

“They’re just through there” The guard told you pointing to a doorway that was just down the hall. You hear music being played and you could hear that it was There’s a Honey by Pale Waves. You assumed that they were doing their sound check.

As you both carried on walking Shawn told you “You look perfect” You smiled up at him and before you knew it you were bombarded with cheers as you walked through the doorway.

You and Shawn walked into the arena and the band who were sat on the ground immediately got up to greet you. Matty went to Shawn first and they did that bro hug that always made you want to laugh.

You could just about hear Matty thanking him for the ‘iconic underpants’ he sent him with the promotional gift for the release of ‘If I Can’t Have You’. You loved yours when it arrived and played it on repeat for days.

“Hey” Ross said, distracting you.You repeated it back to him, almost like you were surprised to see him. You gave him a one-armed hug because you didn’t want to get ice cream all over him.

“Lovely to see you” You grinned at him. You hugged Adam who now stood next to Ross but as you did so Ross took your ice cream out of your hand.

“You can have it if you want” You told him, and his face lit up before he started eating it.

“You don’t look very vanilla” Ross said looking up and down at your attire.

“Never vanilla for you Ross” You grinned and moved on to quickly hug George.

You eventually got around to Matty and he looked at you for a moment before hugging you. “You look amazing again, trying to impress someone?” Matty said over the music.

You couldn’t help but let out a giggle and say “Yeah… but not who you’re thinking of” You let your eyes wonder over Matty’s shoulder until your eyes met Ross’.

You smiled brightly at him and then looked back towards Matty who’s eyes were now wide with amusement. You grinned and brushed past him and went over to talk to Ross again.

After a moment you were all grouped together again and were chatting away. “I can’t believe you all let us both come this early” You said to them.

“Well I thought we could get drinks with them first” Shawn told you hugging you from behind wrapping his arms around your neck.

You craned your head up to try and look at him and said “Well aren’t you a cutie”

Shawn laughed down at you and released you. “What do you wanna drink, I’ll go grab it?”

“Surprise me” You smiled at him and watched as he walked off towards the bar.

When you looked back towards the group you noticed that Matty was looking at you with amusement on his face. You shook your head and walked towards him.

“I actually hate you for what you said that day” You told him trying not to smile.

You were failing miserably though because Matty’s grin was getting bigger and bigger. “You like him, don’t you?” Matty asked excitedly.

“Shut the fuck up” You hushed him. “Oh my god you do!” Matty practically yelled and you were so thankful the music had just started up again.

“Yeah now I need to get over that, thanks to you” You said shaking your head, but almost laughing.

“Oh my, that’s why trying to get onto Ross” Matty said running a hand through his curly hair. “Mate, how can you not see that your man right there is in love with you”

“You’re deluded” You laughed. Shawn came back over with your favourite drink a few minutes later and you smiled up at him “You know me so well”

Before you knew it, it was almost time for them to leave you as the gates were being opened for the public shortly. You’d just said bye to Matty, and you noticed that he had pulled Shawn away to the side.

You tried to hear what he was saying to him, but he was too far away, and the other boys now had most of your attention. All you saw was Shawn looking round at you from time to time and you sent a big smile his way. He returned it but you couldn’t make out what he was saying. Your lip-reading skills were poor.

You said goodbye to them all and you walked over to Shawn and said, “Everything okay?”

“Yeah” Shawn said and you both started walking back over to the bar. You ordered you and Shawn another drink and then made your way over to the very front of the stage.

After taking a sip of your drink you realised that without any prompt you and Shawn were stood in your usual concert position with him behind you, despite no one else yet being around. You turned around and lent against the barrier so you could chat to Shawn.

He looked down at you and smiled and you grinned up at him, very excited for the concert. You had waited so long for it that you couldn’t wait, you were so thankful that Shawn had rearranged his tour dates so you could both be here right now.

“Are you prepared to be bombarded with people running to get to the front?” You asked smiling.

Shawn shook his head looking around the arena area, “Nah, but it should be fun”

“Of course it will, just protect me” You joke “And don’t let me get crushed against this barrier please” You smile before taking another drink.

Shawn lent forward and clasped the barrier either side of you “I’ll keep you boxed in like this then” Shawn laughed which caused you to join in.

A second later you both heard commotion coming from the entrance and you and Shawn shared a look that said ‘Here we go’.

“Better get these back on” You said taking his sunglasses off the collar of his shirt. He smiled as you put them on for him and you both laughed when you almost poked his eye out.

You turned back around, and you patiently waited for your favourite band to come back into view.

You and Shawn had a good time listening to No Rome and Pale Waves when they came on and Shawn kept on pointing things out that impressed him.

Once Pale Waves went off through you knew it wouldn’t be long until the concert started. Daylight was fading fast and there was a faint breeze that swirled among the tightly packed people around you.

You’d taken your jacket off and tied it round your waist because you knew that soon enough, you’d be jumping around. Shawn could feel you buzzing with energy, he’d didn’t remember the last time he saw you this excited and he liked that this evening the smile had never left your face.

“Shawn if they do my favourite you can’t laugh at me if I cry” You tell him. Shawn laughs and wraps his arms around your shoulders again trapping you in a hug.

“No promises” Shawn said, and you couldn’t help but laugh.

Within the next hour The 1975 had come on and you were having the time of your life. You hadn’t stopped screaming along to their songs and you were dancing along to the bops that they were playing.

Soon enough the boys seemed like they needed a bit of a break so Matty was keeping the crowd entertained with his witty humour. Matty was pacing from one side of the stage to the other and the crowd was screaming up at him around him. He was chatting about what the tour had been like and you happily listened along.

It was quite interesting to get another artists view of their tour because you only ever heard Shawn’s stories. As much as you loved those stories, you were in need of some diversity.

After a minute or two music started playing out of the speakers again but low enough for Matty to keep chatting away. “Right now everyone” Matty announced before clearing his throat.

“This next one is for a friend of ours… I’ve been assured that this is her favourite” Matty told everyone still travelling from one side of the stage to another.

The crowd cheered along, and Shawn lent down and said into your ear “Don’t cry on me now”

You turned your head to look up at him and smiled “No promises” He smiled down at you and you turned back around as Matty continued on to say “See she can relate to this song very personally and she’ll hate me for telling you all that but ohh wellllll”

The crowd around you screamed along but you were frozen still. Partly from what Matty just said but also due to the fact that you were finally going to see it live after listening to it for years.

The song started playing properly and Matty quickly said “Enjoy Y/N” and the crowd around you erupted.

Matty walked towards the middle of the stage in front of you and winked down at you. You smiled back up and softly sang the opening lyric “What time you comin’ out”

As the song continued to play you found yourself leaning back against Shawn as you did with most slow songs that had been played tonight. Your heart was beating rapidly from the adrenaline in the system and you were softly singing along with your favourite song.

You could hear Shawn’s voice behind you singing the lyrics beautifully like always. You loved listening to him sing, whether it was his songs or someone else. You were beyond grateful you were his friend and could listen to him sing anything you wanted. All you had to do was ask.

You were preparing yourself for your favourite part of the song and couldn’t wait to finally hear it live. You had already told yourself you wouldn’t sing it as you wanted the full experience to live in the moment of the song and just enjoy it.

As you swayed along to the music you felt Shawn’s hands rest on your hips which you didn’t mind about. You let yourself enjoy the feeling of him being pressed against you and you lent on him more.

As your favourite lyric was about to come out of Matty’s mouth, you felt a different mouth lightly kiss your neck. At first you felt yourself panic slightly not knowing if Shawn had done that purposefully or not. But with you felt another kiss you let yourself go.

“I don’t wanna be your friend. I wanna kiss your neck” Matty sang loudly. 

You tilted your head to the side and closed your eyes as Shawn kissed your neck again but this time it was with more pressure like he wasn’t afraid to do it anymore. The first were testers but this was the real deal.

He started sucking on your neck and you couldn’t help but tilt your head back and rest it against his shoulder. You were in heaven. You brought your hand up and interlaced your fingers in the back of Shawn’s hair and pulled him closer so he couldn’t go anywhere.

Shawn started trailing kisses further up your neck up until his lips left your skin and you were both looking at each other. Shawn’s glasses had fallen down his nose and you could see his eyes. You could see the vulnerability in them but also a hint of hope.

He was searching yours and all he could think of was how beautiful they looked. You looked down towards his lip that had just graced your neck and you were hungry for them to be attached to yours.

After looking at his plump lips for a second to long you looked back up to his eyes and just thought ‘fuck it’. You lent towards them and attached your lips to his as Matty sang out the final “I think I’m falling, I’m falling for you”

Shawn reacted immediately and kissed you back with just a bit more force than you were giving, and you loved it. You turned around whilst still kissing him and wrapped your arms around his neck.

Shawn wrapped his arms around your back, so you were pressed against him completely. You could hear the crowd cheering around you as the song ended but your attention was on Shawn’s movements.

You’re surprised that it didn’t feel weird, you were sharing the best kiss of your life with your best friend. It was exhilarating and the best experience of your life. You’d dreamed of this moment when you were a teenager and over the past month and it was better than you could have ever imagined.

Shawn must have felt you smiling into the kiss because a second later his tongue ran over your bottom lip. You let out a little laugh before opening you mouth wider and the next thing you knew Shawn’s tongue was in your mouth.

You heard the crowd quiet down slightly but that didn’t stop you. The next thing you heard though was Matty’s voice over the speakers and it boomed “Oh wow, ohh wow”

“Y/N, love, you better thank me later” Matty yelled and the crowd burst into cheers again despite having no idea that he was speaking about you. You and Shawn parted and started laughing obviously hearing what Matty had said.

You pecked his lips once more before you attempted to turn around, but Shawn pecked your lips a few more times before he let you. When you did though you found that Matty was on the stage directly in front of you.

He looked down at you and you laughed up at him. He cockily asked down at you “Did you enjoy that?”

The crowd screamed around you thinking the question was directed at everyone, but you knew it was just for you two. You eagerly nodded up at him and he winked down at you, he turned towards the back of the stage and said “George you owe me twenty quid… Thanks Y/N”

You couldn’t help but let out a laugh and Shawn did the same. His laugh rang down your ear up and you turned your head to look at him again and he wrapped his arm around your waist so he was hugging you from behind. You rested your hands on top of his and smiled as he lent down to peck your lips again.

“Let’s give the love birds out there another song to get off to” Matty said as Medicine started to play.

You and Shawn started swaying to the music gently and you couldn’t take the smile off your face. You felt Shawn lean down and say in your ear “If you haven’t guessed I like you”

You laughed and looked round at him. You put your hand to the back of his neck to try and bring him closer to you so he’ll hear you say “I like you too, a lot”

When you moved away Shawn had a massive smile on his face, and you couldn’t help but laugh at it. “Yeah?” He questioned you and you nodded up at him, biting your lip.

Shawn let out a chuckled and leaned down and kiss your lips a few more times. Each time you responded more eagerly and before you knew it you were making out with him again as if an hour ago you were just best friends and you weren’t currently surrounded by thousands of people.

Shawn chuckled pulling away and said “I think I like you a bit more than I let on. Y/N I wanna date you and I know that we’re meant to be best friends but I can’t stop thinking about you and I ca...”

You cut him off. You knew when he was over thinking and at this moment in time you didn’t want to over think what you were. Your lips on his distracted you both and you were only distracted by the screams intensifying around you.

You pulled away when you couldn’t hear music playing anymore and when you turned around Matty was at the barrier directly in front of you with everyone else trying to grab at him but you.

You and Shawn started laughing seeing Matty in front of you like that. He looked bored as if he was waiting for you to stop which made you laugh more.

“Are you two done now?” Matty asked and the crowd around you laughed. You bit your lip and nodded.

“You two dating now?” Matty asked and you looked up towards Shawn for the briefest moment and smiled before nodding back at Matty.

He had a big smile on his face when you said “Yeah”, and the crowds screamed when he said a little “Yay” into the microphone.

“Okay love birds, the concerts going back in full swing now so put each other down and enjoy” Matty said before ruffling your hair and then running back on stage.

Love Me started to blare out of the speakers and you went wild again. You and Shawn sang and danced the rest of the night away.

After that day you found yourself the happiest you had ever been. You and Shawn were extremely happy. After the concert you’d both gone home to Shawn’s house and you told Karen as she was still awake.

She caught you both as you walked in kissing, than you both telling her. She was shocked to see it at first, but the smile quickly grew on her face and she was overjoyed for you both.

By the time The 1975 next toured in Toronto it was 3 years later and you and Shawn were still happily together. You’d moved into his apartment and made it cosy whilst he was away.

You travelled around the world with him and supported him when he needed it. You’d never tire of cheering your boyfriend on and singing his songs. You loved him with the whole of your heart, and he loved you just the same.

You’d met up with the band again before their concert and you all had a quick meal together. You’d gone easy on the drinks this time and enjoyed your time with them. You’d met a lot of people from being friends with Shawn, but these guys were by far your favourite.

They were just too nice and seemed like they didn’t have a care in the world apart from their music. You loved that and you knew Shawn did too. Matty promised you that he would sing your favourite song again and he didn’t disappoint.

You were at the front of the crowd again in the perfect spot. You’d lent yourself back against Shawn and happily let Matty sing you the song.

You watched as Matty walked in front of you and he smiled down at the both of you. He nodded his head in recognition down at you and you just smiled back up.

A second later Shawn has twisted you around in his arms and kissed you quickly. He tasted of the mint ice-cream that you’d eaten earlier, and you were in your own personalised heaven.

You smiled into the kiss and you don’t think that you could ever be happier than you were right now. But you were mistaken.

A moment later Shawn was on one knee looking up at you and you were shell shocked. You stared at him with a hand over your mouth looking down at the diamond ring he was holding.

You heard people around you gasping and lights from their phones shining on your faces but in that moment,  you couldn’t bring yourself to care. Shawn mouthed ‘Marry me’ up at you and you nodded closing your eyes and letting stray tears fall.

You looked up at him through blurry eyes and kissed him once he’d slid the ring on your finger. You noticed as he took his sunglasses off his face and quickly lent down to kiss you that his eyes were also watery.

When his lips touched yours again, you were in pure bliss. You didn’t hear the screams around you or Matty finishing the song behind you. When you pulled away you were both pulled through the barrier that separated the crowd from the stage before the crowd could pounce on Shawn.

When you got through the barrier through you jumped up on Shawn and kissed him again. His hands under your thighs to keep you up and your arms and legs wrapped around his body to keep yourself up.

After you kissed him like that for a good few seconds you pulled away and shouted “I love you so much” so he could hear you.

Shawn laughed and put you back on the ground. He wiped the stray tear that fell and said, “I love you too darling” and pecked your lips again before looking up at the stage.

You turned your attention to the stage as well and saw Matty standing just above you. He had a huge smile on his face, and he got down on his knees and said “Congratulations you guys” into the microphone.

The crowd went mental and you could hear people screaming for Shawn and Matty. You laughed at the bizarreness of it, but you loved it non the less. This was literally your teenage dream come true.

You hugged Shawn and lent into his chest as you looked up to Matty and shouted a “Thank you” up at him. Matty revved up the crowd to cheer for the both of you and you just hugged Shawn closer to you, not being used to having this sort of attention.

Shawn lent down and pecked your lips once more and you were so thankful that you could now spend the rest of your life with your best friend. After the crowd settled down to something Matty could again work with, he got up after giving both you and Shawn a high five.

As he went back business and the beginning of the next song started playing you looked to Shawn again and repeated how much you loved him. Shawn did the same back to you and you lent on his chest hugging him to you as you took in the music.

You were content and now you had never been happier in your entire life. There was only happiness to come in the both of your lives from that moment on and you couldn’t wait to see how the rest of your lives played out together.

Before Matty started singing, he quickly shouted back over to the both of you “I better be invited to the fucking wedding Mendes!”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Taglist: @lololovestaylor @the-girl-before @cynicallystiles @lady-grinningsoul 

Let me know if you have any requests x

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes x reader #matty healy #matty healy x reader #shawn #mendes #shawn mendes one shot #Shawn Mendes Imagine #shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes x you #shawn mendes x y/n #matty the 1975 #matty healy fanfic #matty healy imagine #the 1975 #the 1975 imagine #Ross Macdonald #george daniel #Adam Hann #the 1975 blurb

[pineapplebonez]

Last Night

This is part of the VIXX PARALLEL Collaboration Project hosted by @uwugalore I chose the song Dynamite to base this story off of.  Genre: Romance, Angst, Friends to Lovers, supernatural, non idol AU. Warnings: Alcohol use. Summary: After drinking a strange substance from a mysterious bartender, Jaehwan gets the chance to go back in time to erase his regrets and tell her how he really feels.  Word Count:~4K

~~

She was bored. Playing cupid in a bar where people had no intention of being serious about love was excruciating. All they ever wanted to do was get drunk and forget. They used alcohol to forget their heart break or fulfill sexual needs with a casual hook up. It was all very exhausting to her. However, that was the point of the test, she had to make love happen in one of the most impossible places. Once she did that she would become a full blown cupid and would be able to aid humans finding love and hopefully finding their soul mates. She pulled out three titanium flasks she kept under the counter, each one had a symbol imbedded in it.  One with a clock, one with a heart, and one with an arrow. She only had three chances to prove herself. Her eyes darted to the dark figure that entered the bar. He was tall, had black wavy hair with pouty lips, and a light pink aura. Perfect, she thought, he was in love and ready to be loved back. So now all she needed to figure out - which elixir to give him so could get his relationship off the ground. 

~

Sitting in the dimly lit bar and gazing down at his empty whiskey glass, Jaehwan furrowed his brow and sighed. “Bartender I need more,” he sheepishly smiled hoping she would not notice his slurred speech. The bartender glanced in his direction with a knowing smile. 

“I think you have had enough.” 

Jaehwan pouted and held up a single finger “One more”  he begged. Unable to resist his pleading, she let out a heavy sigh and set down another shot. 

“Here you go.” She stared at him for a moment and examined the empty room; it was a slow night, an easy night to just talk with someone. “So, what brought you here-alone-drinking, and obviously in deep contemplation?” 

Jaehwan quickly downed the amber liquid, “Life isn’t fair, she was supposed to be with me!” He was squeezing his eyes shut as if he was replaying a memory that he did not want to see.“I mean, I am better for her.” He began to rub his temples. “Maybe I am jealous.” 

Removing the shot glasses from in front of Jaehwan, the bartender replied “Probably- especially if this is someone you have feelings for. I take it she dates someone else?”

 Jaehwan let out a long groan “Don’t remind me.”

“Does she know how you feel?”

Slowly shaking his head and groaning,“No, I was going to tell her,  but I just didn’t”, he looked up at her, and muttered,”no matter how hard I try to spin the clock backwards it just doesn’t work.” He looked at her with sadness in his eyes.

“Oh I believe you.  What if I told you I could?”

“You could what?”

“Turn back time.”

He stared at her not comprehending, as the gears in his head began turning slowly. He was trying to fight the haze effect of the alcohol. “You can’t be serious!”

“Oh but I am!”

Jaehwan narrowed his eyes, “Okay so you know what - I believe you. What are you going to do for me? Cast a spell like some kind of witch?”

The bartender set down a flask that had the clock etched into the metal.”Something like that,” she smiled as Jaehwan stared at the flask, intrigued.  

“You get one night, to make your dream a reality, but after that night everything will go back to normal. In a sense it will kind of be like a dream,” She tapped her chin. “What I would like for you to do is just to tell her how you feel and see what happens.” She tapped the top of the flask. “All you have to do is drink this, and you will get a small do over that will in a sense help you out in present day.”

“One Night.”

“Yes that is right one night.” 

“You’re going to turn back the clock?”

“Yup.”

Jaehwan snorted, even in his drunken haze, he knew that this had to be a joke. The alcohol must be playing tricks on his thought process. He just didn’t care at this point at night. He pointed to the flask. “I just need to drink this? For reals? Not for fakes?”

She nodded and motioned to the flask. 

 “Okay.” He picked it up and unscrewed the cap and drank the liquid that was inside. It tasted a lot like flat orange soda. “The task is completed but I am still here.” 

She smiled at him “It does not work right away. You must go home and sleep. When you wake up you will be in a time that will be a week… a few months... or even a year in the past. This will be the point in your life that you could change the outcome of your relationship, but only for that night.” She smiled, “If you have any questions in this journey come to this bar and ask for the witch.”

“Whatever, how about another shot?”

The bartender smiled and complied.

~

Sighing the bartender picked up the empty flask as Jaehwan left the bar in an uber. She hoped that she had made the right decision by giving him the clock flask, after all no one had ever used that elixir before.

~

As soon as Jaehwan made it home he laid down on the bed but quickly sat up when his head began to buzz. Checking his phone he discovered there were six missed messages from you:

‘Yooooooooooo. Wanna go to a movie?

Remember you will always be my best friend no boyfriend can change that

Jaehwan? You okay? Are you mad at me?

That’s it you don’t reply I am feeding you RAISINS and TOFU

…. Okay, I take it back. I would never do that.

Just message me back okay?

He smiled amused at your text messages. He didn’t really want to reply rather he wanted to see you. It was a little past two in the morning, he knew that he shouldn’t call you, but the alcohol was hiding his better judgement. He picked up the phone and dialed your number. 

“Jaehwan?” your voice was groggy as you answered yet it was still enough to quicken his heartbeat.

“Y/N.” he stated. 

“Are you okay, why are you calling me at this hour?”

He hesitated and thought, because I knew you would answer, because I want to see you because I know you will come. “Can you come over?”

“Yeah sure I’ll be there in a bit.” you hung up. That’s one of the things he loved about you. Your undying loyalty to your friends. It didn’t matter if it was two o’clock in the morning. If he asked you to come over you did because your friendship was that strong. He would do the same for you, and you knew that’s why you would never hesitate to come over when he asked.  Jaehwan rested his head back against the wall and waited.

~

Jaehwan had given you a spare key to his apartment, so you walked in like you owned the place. He rarely asks you to come over like this, so you were a bit concerned. You walked into his room to find him sitting on his bed head resting on the wall. “A little too much to drink?” you questioned. 

“Yes, the bartender was nice, I kept saying one more, she would say, ‘I think that you have had enough’ and then I would give her my best sad puppy face-” he reenacted a classic Jaehwan begging face for you. His speech was slurred but you couldn’t tell if it was from him being drunk or tired. Maybe it was both. 

“No one can resist that.” you said. It was true anyone melted when Jaehwan did that, even you. 

He smiled at you and winked. “You got that right, it is one of my many charms.”

“Jaehwan are you okay, though?” He seemed a bit off, ever since you told him you were in a relationship he seemed a bit dejected.

“I’m GRAND.”

You climbed into bed with him and sat next to him. “What else happened at the bar?”

“Nothing happened, the bartender was fun.”

“How so?” you raised your eyebrows at him- a fun bar on a Wednesday seemed out of the ordinary. 

“It is a secret,” He drew out the word long and playfully. 

“No secrets between us,” you couldn’t help but laugh.

 He pouted, “Awe come on just this once.”

“Nope!” there was no way you were going to let him get away with this. 

“Fine, she gave me,” he paused looking at you and smiled, “A magic drink that goes back in time to one night so I can do whatever I want.”

You raised your eyebrows as he rested his head on your shoulder. “Y/N,” his voice was soft and sad. “Do you think that it will work?” 

“Will what work?”

“Going back in time.”

Laughing you replied, “I don’t know, maybe, why would you want to go back in time?”

He narrowed his eyes at you “I have my reasons. Maybe I need to claim a victory from you for a change. Maybe I feel cheated.”

“I have never cheated in any game we play!” You were slightly offended. You had been nothing but honest every time you won, you would never cheat in a game. 

He shifted so he could cup your face with his palms. Staring deep into his eyes you felt your heart skip a beat. His brows were furrowed, and his eyes looked almost sad, “You know what I lost,” You didn’t know what he was talking about. “Jaehwan, I am not sure that I follow.” Shaking his head, he dropped his hands and shrugged. “Guess you will never know then.” He winked playfully at you. You grabbed his pillow and smacked him with it. 

“Are you going to stay here tonight?”

“No, I am going to go home, okay?”

“Alright.” 

~

Jaehwan thought he would wake up with the nastiest hang over he had ever encountered but he was free from headaches and nausea. He looked at his phone for the time, it was five in the evening. He rubbed his temples, no that couldn’t be right he thought, that means that he slept for over 12 hours. He was trying to recall how much he had to drink and the conversations he had. He laughed suddenly. ‘Drink this, and you will get a small do over’ Those words rang in his head. He could not believe that he would believe something like that even in his drunken state. Curious though he looked at the calendar. He blinked and scrubbed his eyes. This couldn’t be right, yesterday was March 31st  and today was October 31st? That’s a five month difference. He couldn't believe it; his heart was pounding as he exited his room and turned on the TV. He went to the weather channel, and the dates matched his calendar. This couldn't be happening. Maybe it was a dream. He pinched himself surprisingly it hurt which meant it wasn’t a dream. His phone startling him, rang. It was “Y/N” he stared down at it. “H-hello” he stammered.

 “Yo Jaehwan are we still going tonight?????” 

He had to think back to the day and what you and he had done on Halloween five months ago; for some reason he was drawing a blank. 

“Ah-yes! I mean what are we doing?”

 “We are going out to bar hop silly then probably going home and watching a movie, it is not like you to forget, are you okay?” Your voice was filled with worry. 

Jaehwan closed his eyes. “No I am just perfect. I will pick you up at 8.”

 “Sounds good!” He could hear the smile in your voice. He stood there flabbergasted but then he could not help but to jump up and down. Another chance. He was determined this time to tell you just how he felt and see what happened. 

Jaehwan rummaged through his closet to find something to wear. This is when his memory hit him like a truck. This was the night that he lost you. He had gone to go get you some drinks and when he came back you were unapologetically flirting with some guy. You had told him that you felt a spark with him and wanted to see where it went, so he left you there while he sulked at the bar and wait for you to tell him you were ready to go. Once you were ready for him to drive you home you gushed about the guy, told him how you had kissed and about your plans to go on a date with him. He remember he encouraged you like any best friend would. 

He clutched onto his costume that you had bought for him. This felt wrong, remembering how happy it made you, he really didn’t want to ruin that, but he also didn’t think that he could live through his own pain again. Shaking his head he recalled the bartenders words “but only for that night.” If he was not drunk, he would have inquired more just to make sure that his changes would not be permanent. It was a good thing that the Halloween bar hopping you two were attending started at the very same bar this bartender worked at. 

~

You were waiting impatiently for Jaehwan pacing back and forth by your front door. You took a quick glance at yourself in the mirror and adjusted your cat ear headband. Jaehwan was going to go as Dracula, and you were a cat. You wrinkled your nose in the mirror; you looked good and you were going to flaunt everything you had. You heard the horn beep and you ran outside to meet Jaehwan in your driveway. You stopped mid way, staring at him, because he looked incredible. Your heart was pounding in your chest. “Get yourself together,” you pleaded. “You are using tonight to get over him this is a one sided love, he will only be your best friend.” That was because you could not face the fact that you might lose him. You would rather keep him as a friend than risk losing him if you dated and broke up.Taking a deep breath you climbed into the car and gave him your biggest smile. “You look very good, best Dracula costume have ever seen,” he smiled and it looked like he blushed as he put his hand on your knee, “you are a very cute kitty, Meow,” you blushed.

Halloween has always been a tradition in a small town next to yours. It has old buildings and a long street that housed a lot of bars. They would decorate the street, and adults would bar hop and have fun while the kids trick-or-treated. Jaehwan kept a protective hand on your waist as you made your way to your favorite bar. Once inside he leaned down to your ear. “I will be right back, I have something to take care of,” he nodded to one of your mutual friends and you smiled. “Get me my favorite drink, and hurry back.” You said as you made your way over to Sarah.

~

Jaehwan made his way to the bar and was shocked when he saw a man serving out drinks. He stood there trying to get his attention. He didn’t want to waste much time here because if he got the answer that he needed he had to make sure that you didn’t meet Mr. Perfect. Finally, the bartender turned his attention to him.

“What can I get you?”

“An amaretto sour and a whisky sour, oh and can I talk to the...” he paused because the next words out of his mouth were going to be embarrassing “...the witch” the bartender looked annoyed and motioned around the room. “Sure take your pick there are at least a dozen,” Jaehwan’s eyes widened he didn't expect to run into this problem. The bartender retreated to his ingredients and began concocting the drinks. Jaehwan’s mind was racing he needed an answer before he made his next move. The bartender set the drinks down in front of him, “Tab or are you going to pay cash?” Jaehwan handed him his credit card. “Open a tab we will be here awhile.” The bartender nodded, “Wait,-” Jaehwan stammered. “There is a girl bartender she gives people weird drinks in flasks.” he sheepishly smiled. “Can I talk to her?” The bartender gave him a hard look and then he nodded while pulling out his phone and sending a text. “She will be here soon, so take a seat.” 

This made him anxious, he had been here longer than he wanted to. He glanced around the bar looking for you, but it had gotten crowded with people in costumes and he could not pinpoint where you were. Five minutes went by, and he felt a hand on his shoulder. Hopeful, he turned to see the bartender that was so important tonight.

“Hey,” she said, “What’s wrong?” she gave a mischievous grin “The clock is ticking and it seems history is repeating itself.” She pointed to the back of the bar. He followed her finger and his eyes landed on you, talking to an extremely handsome man and to his horror you were flirting. He looked back at the bartender. “I just have one question.” 

She tilted her head, “Go on I am listening.” 

“Her happiness is my everything, and if this is going to ruin the future or change her in anyway, I don’t want any part of it.”

She looked at him and bit her lip. “It might make you miserable, but she won’t remember.”

“So after tonight everything will be fine in her world.”

The bartender nodded. 

With that he grabbed his drinks and took off toward you. 

~

“Sorry it took so long, the bar was really busy.” Jaehwan was basically pressed against your back as he reached around to hand you your amaretto sour. “Oh thank you,” you mumbled as you elbowed Jaehwan in the stomach and made a small motion to the man you had previously been flirting with. Jaehwan blatantly ignored you which actually annoyed you. You looked at the man “Sorry this is my best friend, Jaehwan, Jaehwan this is Zion,” You smiled apologetically at Zion, “Thanks for the drink. You can now go mingle with other people.” Normally you would love to escape with Jaehwan but today was different, you were not going to ignore other guys because you were giving up on Jaehwan because his friendship is more important than your feelings. Jaehwan shrugged at you, “Na, I came here with you.” Zion was getting a little uncomfortable and you said, “Give us just a moment,” you grabbed Jaehwan’s wrist and dragged him a safe distance away. “What is your problem?” You demanded giving him your scariest glare. Jaehwan looked confused and a little hurt.

“Nothing? There is just no one that interests me here and I would rather spend time with you.” Your heart fluttered a bit, but you squashed your emotions for him. “Jaehwan,” you sighed. “I am single and ready to mingle, and I don’t need you hanging around cock blocking me.” Jaehwan looked as if he had been slapped as you continued,  “I need you to be my best friend and take a step back and to stop hovering.” You started to walk away and you sensed he had begun to follow you so you spun around. “Stop acting like a jealous puppy and don’t follow me. I need space.”  You spat as you walked back toward Zion. 

~

Jaehwan stood there  stunned, you rarely lose your temper like that and he couldn’t believe it. This was supposed to be his do over, to have fun with you but instead you were mad. He watched you retreat to Zion and fawn all over him. He turned on his heel and sat down at the bar. He knew better than to bother you when you needed space, that and he didn't want to cause a scene. A whiskey sour was placed in front of him. He looked up and met the eyes of the bartender that put him in this mess. 

“Not going as well as you expected?”

He glared at her, “I hate when she is mad at me.” He took a big drink of his whiskey sour. “This is your fault.”

She slammed her hand down on the table. “Excuse me, don’t pin this on me. I tried to help you out; it is not my fault you can’t get the girl.” 

Jaehwan slammed the rest of the whisky sour back but then looked dejected. He couldn’t help but to admit she was right. He looked over at you.  Naturally, you were smiling and Zion and he had his face close to your ear and you were blushing. He looked back at the bartender, “I guess this is how it is going to be. I don’t want to upset her anymore.” 

The bartender crossed her arms over her chest but signed “You’re a good friend. Want another on me?“ He smiled at her. “Just water, I am going to have to drive us home.”

He sat there for awhile occasionally checking on you to make sure that you were having a good time and didn’t need him to step in to help. At this point he was just waiting for you to come and tell him you were ready to go. You guys had a pact. You come together, you leave together. He pulled his phone from his pocket and sent you a text. “Sorry about earlier just let me know when you are ready to go.” 

~

You felt your phone vibrate in your pocket you pulled it out and saw a text from Jaehwan. It was a little past midnight and you had no idea you were talking to Zion for so long. It was different, a good different you liked it. You glanced over at Jaehwan and a wave a guilt fell over you. You ditched him and you felt bad but you just wanted to forget him at that time. Turning your attention back to Zion you smiled. “That’s my best friend, I kind of ditched him tonight, so I better get going.” Zion smiled at you and handed you his phone.  “Can I get your number? So we can set up a date?” 

“Yes of course!” you chirped and put your number in his phone “I'll see you later,” you lightly kissed his cheek and made your way to Jaehwan. You placed your hand on his shoulder, “I am ready to leave,” he nodded and lead you out to the car. The walk was silent. More silent then you would have liked. 

“Y/N.” 

You looked at him. “What’s on your mind?” You could tell there was something bothering him. 

“I am sorry about the way I acted, but I need you to hear me out. Just listen don’t say anything until I am done. Okay?” You nodded.

“Here is the thing, I was jealous, and not the way you think. Yes, I came here with you and wanted to spend time with you but...” He trailed off and stared at the ground. He looked like he was thinking hard about what to say. “Y/N, I don’t love you as my best friend. I am in love with you and that is a big difference.” He reached out and put his hand on your cheek. You stared at him unable to comprehend what was going on. Your heart was pounding and you felt sick. How long had he been in love with you. You wanted no more than just this because you too were in love with him but you had squashed your feelings in fear. You loved everything about him, his smile, his pouting, puppy dog eyes, undying loyalty, everything, but he came out of nowhere with this. You and this confession had just locked up your emotions for him and was all over another man. His hand that was on your cheek had made its way to your hip. You looked up at him and met his gaze. He wanted to kiss you, but he was afraid. He didn’t want to invade your space and do something without consent. So you did the only logical thing and threw your arms around his neck and kissed him. His lips were soft at first but became urgent has he deepened his kiss with you. You were kissing him with all the passion you had pent up. You didn’t want to, but you had to pull away because you were running out of oxygen. “Jaehwan,” you said breathless, “Please, tell me you are not drunk and this is actually happening,” you could feel tears stinging your eyes. He laughed and rested his forehead against yours “No, and I was going to say the same thing.” You gave him a little push, “Well let’s head back,” you paused trying to gather the courage to ask if you were a couple.“B-boyfriend? Together?” Jaehwan laughed at your incoherent sentence.

“Yes, Y/N, I am your boyfriend.”

~

Jaehwan woke up the next morning expecting to see you in his bed sleeping soundly. You two had talked all night about your feelings and why it took so long to tell eachother how you felt. Eventually you two had fallen asleep his arms tightly around you like he was afraid that you would disappear. 

 However, you were not there. He rolled to his back and groaned. No, No, NO. He thought. This wasn’t fair. His heart felt like it was breaking. He really only did get one night. Tears stung his eyes. Reality was back and it was bitter. Not even the world's most evil villain would play this kind of sick joke on him and he did it to himself. All he knew was that you did love him, but now he had an obstacle, and his name was Zion. A five month long relationship that you were totally happy in. He knew he could not ruin that. He swiped at his tears and thought, “Now what?”

~

She sat there holding the flask with a clock etched into its surface. She knew now why no other cupid used this elixir. It was a waste of time. It sent that guy far enough back to a point he couldn’t undo anything even after knowing the truth. All because he was a real friend and truly loved you.  As she watched your story unfold that night she became invested. She had never seen such a beautiful loving aura combine as you two kissed. She had never seen a red string of fate manifest as you to talked about your feelings. She was going to get you two together because that type of love was something she had never witnessed in her life. She reached down and pulled out a flask with a heart etched on it. Time to make a mess out of love.

#VPCollab #vixx #kpop #ken #lee jaehwan #ken x reader #ken fic #kpop x reader #vixx x reader #dynamite #kpop imagines #vixx imagines #kpop scenarios

[alicepink-me]

The New Guardian

Story Summary: Marinette Dupain-Cheng is an adult in the real world, guarding the Miracle Box in Master Fu's place. She's in love with Chat Noir, but refuses to tell him her feelings. New holders appear to fight the duo and shake up their lives. Marinette makes a tough decision about her future as Ladybug.

Chapter 9: History

Marinette's alarm went off, waking her. She rolled over and hit her clock, looking over at April. April laid in her bed with a book and reading light. She was wearing round purple glasses and more comfy clothes like yesterday. Marinette rubbed her eyes.

"You know, it's not polite to stare." April said, turning a page.

"Why are you awake?" Marinette blinked, breathing in. "It's five in the morning."

"I'm reading." She answered. "What's your excuse?"

Marinette threw her covers over and hopped off her bed. "I have a 6 a.m. class."

"Oh, say hi to the munchkins for me." April laughed.

Marinette rummaged through her dresser. "What does that mean?"

"Nothing." April turned a page.

Marinette rolled her eyes before grabbing her clothes and a small bag. She opened the door but stopped to see a blonde standing right there, smiling.

"Good morning, Marinette." The woman greeted, holding her hand out. "My name is Rebekah and I will be your tour guide for your first week."

"Uh . . . nice to meet you." Marinette shook her hand, awkwardly. "But my first class isn't until six."

"I know. I'm just waiting for you." Rebekah cheered. "I'll give you a tour at anytime and I'll be ready to take you to your class in . . . " She checked her watch. "Exactly fifty-eight minutes."

"Okay . . . sounds great, but I'm gonna get ready first." Marinette carried her stuff past her.

April rolled off her bed and moved to the door.

"Hi April!" Rebekah squealed

April gave a fake smile. "Hey Rebekah."

"I haven't seen you since last year. How are your classes?"

"Great." April slammed the door in her face.

. . .

"Alright, Marinette, first things first . . . I need all of your completed paperwork." Rebekah turned around in her tracks.

Marinette handed over the giant stack of papers before grabbing her bag. "Anything else?"

Rebekah flipped through them. "No . . . I think you're all set. I'll drop these off by Master Mantis later, but I'll show you to your first class now." She started walking.

Marinette followed. "Yeah what exactly is the first one and . . . basically all of my other classes?" Marinette asked. "My schedule was two pages, labeled day 1 and day 2, and they just included times and locations. There wasn't any other information."

"That's because we have one day of school/studying classes and one day of action/fighting classes. Neither are easy to begin with, but if we had both in the same day, students would only focus or excel in one." She admitted. "The study days are mostly history based while action days focus entirely on sparring and the miraculous." Rebekah explained, rounding a corner of the building. "You have four history classes today, all two hours each plus one one hour math class at the end of the day. Tomorrow you will have two two hour fighting and action sessions with your assigned group. I will look into your files tomorrow to give you more information on that." She turned left.

"Why would I need eight hours of history today?" Marinette asked, trying to keep up with her tour guide.

"Because you're here for a shorter time than the rest of us. You will only receive a crash course, yet a sample of each." Rebekah stopped by a door that a bunch of kids were going through. "And we're here."

"We are?" Marinette panted. They were walking really fast. Marinette watched the crowds of kids walk by. They couldn't be any older than thirteen. "These are my classmates?" She raised her eyebrows. "Why aren't they . . . more . . . my age?"

"Most people start training at the academy when they are eleven or twelve years old. You obviously have been here for like ten hours, so you don't even have the beginners level of information." She said. "Which is why you have four. You have one class for each age group."

"I didn't think I drew enough attention to myself already." Marinette said sarcastically. "This should be fun."

"I'll leave it to you then." Rebekah grinned before prancing away on her high horse.

Marinette inhaled. She walked inside and looked around the classroom. It might be best for her to sit in the back, away from everyone, and luckily there were still some empty seats. Marinette slid into a desk, waiting for class to start. There was probably one hundred twelve year olds in the room with her. Either they'll think she's the same age because of her height or Marinette's gonna get made fun of by a bunch of prepubescents. Luckily they hadn't noticed her yet.

"Alright class." The professor walked in and set his briefcase on the counter. The class immediately silenced. "Today's lesson is about the most important event to ever occur at this temple. A temporarily fatal day that permanently changed our lives and futures." The class stared at their teacher with curiosity. "Does anyone know what this time was?" No one answered. "It may be mid-semester, but I think now is the right time to introduce this unit." His eyes locked with Marinette before picking up a piece of chalk. He wrote on the board. "This event was known as The Great Massacre by Wang Fu or The Temple Buried in Time." He turned back to the class. "And since all of you are our newest pupils, none of you were born yet. It's recent yet decades old." He breathed in, pondering. "This Massacre lasted 166 long years . . . and was only cured six years ago."

The class began to murmur. One kid raised his hand "Why haven't we heard about it before?" He asked. "166 years is a long time, but it wasn't even mentioned back in my hometown."

"I'll answer that only because you all are beginners." The professor sighed. "No one, unless they have attended this academy, knows about the existence of us, so our history is hidden as well. News stations will report on heroes, but no information about their origins or identities will be released. If we allowed our secrets to be known, our safety as well as this temple would be in peril. There would be no order and all power could be stolen."

"Actually." Another girl started. "I heard about a story whenever I was seven. The news mentioned a mysterious temple reappearing."

"Yes, that is correct." The professor continued. "But once the story was released, we used some of our miraculous holders to convince every news station that discovered the incident, that nothing unusual or interesting was here. After all, they already had two heroes in their city to focus on. We made the reporters believe that there was no need to ever come back. After that, there weren't anymore stories reported and the general public completely forgot as if it never happened."

Marinette adjusted in her seat, recrossing her legs. Every ambitious child in the room whipped out their notebooks and aggressively took notes on the astonishing information. Marinette didn't really need to since Master Fu had already taught her about his past years ago and she was present for the temple's reappearance. This class seemed more like a refresher course than a complicated history class.

"So this is where the problem started." The professor began, turning back to the chalkboard. "A young guardian in training named Wang Fu made a horrible mistake that cost us dearly. He was assigned the regular training assignment that required guarding the Miracle Box for a measly 24 hours, but . . . the man's hunger got the better of him and he misused this task by stealing the peacock miraculous. Fu then used the miraculous to conjure up a creature that would bring him food, but because of his lack of training with that power the monster turned on his creator. That monster devoured every other miraculous and later the people here as well, including me." The class gasped. "The temple burned and all was lost, but Wang Fu never looked back. He grabbed the Miracle Box that he misused and ran, leaving his mess behind and that monster raging. It wasn't until 166 years later that two of his own uneducated students defeated the monstrosity." The professor turned around. "That man left everything to ruins and never bothered to finish his mess. It required two unqualified tweenagers to do it instead, bringing such shame to our group." The professor sighed. "And to top off his crimes, he lost two miraculouses after that fateful day, the peacock and butterfly. Both were found and used for evil purposes, which we will discuss in tomorrows lesson about Paris."

These kids shouldn't be brainwashed like this. Master Fu wasn't a criminal. Marinette raised her hand, even if it meant outing herself.

The professor glared at her. "Yes, Ms. Dupain-Cheng?"

Oh, he knew her name. "I'm sorry, but . . . some of your facts are wrong." Marinette said.

He squinted. "How so?"

"Well . . . one of the council members actually told Master Fu to run. He didn't leave without looking back. He tried to fix it, but before he could, everything was desiccated in destruction." Marinette continued. "And Master Fu did not leave the monster. He had believed it was destroyed in the fire, but it was later discovered in a rock formation by Mayura. Mayura was a villain, which I'm sure you already know, and she brought the creature back to life. Master Fu's pupils took down the monster that was believed to be indestructible and the temple was restored." Marinette paused, smiling. "You'd never know how happy Master Fu was when he found out that everything had returned. He wasn't some sort of villain who prayed for death and destruction."

"Hmm." The professor's eye twitched. "I suppose your view is slightly distorted since you were taught by him rather than at the temple. Maybe it's only opinion rather than factual."

"I guess the same goes for you." Marinette suggested. "The lesson would be a little biased if it's taught by a survivor of the incident."  

"Seems fair." The professor nodded, turning back to the board. "Now, class, your assignment for the week is to think of your argument." He wrote as he spoke. "How guilty or innocent is the man? What are your thoughts and if Wang Fu was still alive . . . how should the matter be dealt with?" He turned back to the class and looked at Marinette. "I'll be interested to hear your thoughts."

The rest of class was boring and frustrating for Marinette. She had heard everything before and lived part of it, yet every detail was distorted. That professor taught from his point of view, which clearly despised Master Fu. And she can almost guarantee that all the other professors are sharing from their point of views as well. Now, every child that trains at the temple will grow up believing them. They have no reason not to.

. . .

Lunch:

The temple's café was set up like a buffet with several different lines leading to different types of cuisine. Ninety percent of the food was healthy and the only weird thing here was the entire corner for protein bars and drinks. There was a huge crowd around that section. It was probably included since there's so much training at the temple. Marinette did overhear something about a wellness class, so everyone else is apparently trained for that specifically. They're specifically in tune with their diets and understand exactly what they need for their own bodies to maintain their powers at a maximum.

Marinette entered a smoothie line. She figured it might be best to start out with something simple for her first day. She didn't want to spend too much time looking at all the options, seeming like a lost puppy. Marinette might be new, but she didn't want to look like a sad freshman. It was hard to see around the hoards of students anyway.

She stepped up in the smoothie line. There was a tablet to design your smoothie and order it off of. Marinette reached for the tablet after the next girl, typing in her name and picking out ingredients. She put the tablet down as the girl behind her squinted.

"Marinette Dupain-Cheng?" She questioned. Something about her tone was off.

"That's me." Marinette turned to her.

The girl picked up the tablet to punch in her order. "I heard about you. You're that girl." Her tude was ripe. " The one who just walked right in, demanding special treating."

Marinette's eyebrows furrowed. "I didn't-"

"I heard enough." She interrupted. "I know what you are, I know all about your past, and I won't let you believe you're better. You don't deserve to be here in the first place."

"I know." Marinette nodded, taking a step down in the line.

The girl's eye twitched as she set the tablet down. "I'm Priya, last name not assigned yet, and I have been here for eight years. You have been here for eight seconds, yet you have an enormous amount of power over me. And did you train for it? No. Did you earn that right? No. And why are you here? To make up for the fact that you cheated the entire system that has been in place for centuries and don't want the guilt to eat away at your soul anymore. Please, don't plead innocence."

Marinette's mouth hung open. "I'm just trying these classes out. I can leave anytime with my miraculous, but I've chosen to stay here for now to understand the history better and to receive partial training. I'm sorry that I wasn't raised with the same lifestyle as you."

"And that's the problem." Priya moved down the line. "You can leave." She glared at Marinette. "I have worked day and night for eight years . . . and I don't have a miraculous. So I don't want to hear your self-centered sob story about how you've changed your path and you want to fit in with the world that never picked you just because you feel destined to be a part of all the magic. It's kind of sad really. If you really felt bad, you would've given up that power and left it behind because you shouldn't have it and there is no way you can start over from the beginning to earn it."

Marinette scooted down the line, standing in front of the barista. "I guess we're just going to live with it. I can't change my past, but I can alter my future here."

"Oh I'll live with it." Priya smiled. "We're in the same class tomorrow after all. There's no way you'll win against us. Once you step into that classroom, you're just prey to the wolves."

Marinette smiled. "We'll see."

"Marinette?" The barista asked.

Marinette took her large smoothie and sipped it. "Class should be fun and you can crush my experience all you want, but even if I get my butt beat . . . I can't feel anything worse than I already have this week."

Priya watched her strut away, Marinette slurping her smoothie with a grin.

. . .

Later that Night:

Marinette reached her dorm room and unlocked the door. She walked in and saw April sitting on her bed, reading. Marinette stopped and stared at the book, her eyes widened.

"My diary . . . " She mumbled. "You're reading my diary?!"

April sprung off the bed and held it behind her back. "To be fair, you are pretty sketchy." She admitted.

"I'm sketchy?!" Marinette threw her bag on her bed.

"You are a cheater, whether you accept it or not." April shrugged. "What am I supposed to believe?"

Marinette took a deep breath. "Just give it back." She held out her hand.

"I won't be so harsh anymore." April handed it over. "I think I understand you a little better now."

"Really? I wouldn't have guessed. I only publicized my entire life inside that journal." Marinette said sarcastically. "But I can forgive a fraction of it if you aren't so bitter all the time."

"Oh please, everyone here is bitter." April snorted. "It's survival of the fittest. Any kindness can be taken advantage of. It's how we are." She leaned against the bed. "And people don't lie in their diaries because they don't plan to show people, so I've learned the real you by reading your secrets."

"Well that's great." Marinette hopped on her bed. "I'm glad my life story and miserable love life brings you reassurance."

"It's not that bad." April walked to her closet. "At least I don't have to kill you in your sleep because of my debilitating trust issues."

"Would you actually do that?" Marinette shoved her diary under her pillow.

April smiled. "Why do you think I didn't already have a roommate when you got here?"

#miraculous ladybug #MIRACULOUS: TALES OF LADYBUG AND CHAT NOIR #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #emotions #conflict #romance #chat noir #ladybug #ladynoir #alice pink #alicepink-me #the new guardian #fanfiction #feelings

[nexttrickanvils]

Day 5 of @shuharuweek: AU/Song & Dance

Yup it’s time for more roleswap AU. So enjoy Haru starting up the Empress Confidant. ;)

Title: Foolish Empress: Empress Confidant Rank 1

Characters: Fool!Haru, Empress!Akira, Morgana, others are there briefly

---------

It was official… the Phantom Thieves were low on money.

Then again Haru shouldn’t be too surprised. After all between buying new weapons for everyone and buying a cell phone for Yusuke so he could actually communicate with the rest of the team it was no wonder that their funds were low.

Haru pulls up the group chat to let everyone know what was going on.

HARU:  Some bad news. I just looked at our funds and we’re running low. We may have to make do with our current equipment and supplies.

ANN: Can’t we just hold up some Shadows in Mementos?

RYUJI: Yeah but we just finished up Madarame’s palace. I wanna take a break before we get back to work.

HARU: I agree with Ryuji-kun, I don’t want you all to overwork yourselves.

YUSUKE: I apologize. I know you three had to use that money for this phone and equipment for me.

ANN: Yusuke, don’t. You needed a phone and like hell was Madarame gonna give you one.

RYUJI: Yeah and we couldn’t let you face shadows without good stuff. Plus we all bought new junk so it ain’t all on you.

YUSUKE: I appreciate your words but that still leaves us with our current situation.

HARU: I guess the best option would be take a job. I saw some job postings at the subway, maybe I can take a look at those.

ANN: You sure Haru? You just said you didn’t want us to overwork ourselves.

HARU: I’ll be fine Ann-chan, thank you.

With that Haru closed the app and put her phone away. From his spot next to her on the bed, Morgana gives her a concerned look.

“I think Lady Ann has a point. You can’t lead Les Fantômes if you exhaust yourself.” said Morgana

Haru smiles in response and starts petting her (not) feline companion

“I appreciate that you’re all looking out for me but we can’t solely rely on the Metaverse for our money. I promise that I’ll be looking for something that’s simple and won’t take too much time.”

“...Well I should come with you and help, just in case.”

Haru briefly thinks of saying to Morgana that he’s always with her outside but instead she just thanks him.

---------

“How about this one? It’s that beef bowl place in Shibuya.” Morgana said as he looked at the flyer from over Haru’s shoulder

“I don’t know. I’ve been there with Ryuji once. It was so crowded and there weren’t a lot of people working that night.”

“Maybe it won’t be so bad if they hired more people.”

“I suppose, let’s consider it a “maybe.””

So far the job search turned out to be more difficult than Haru thought. There certainly wasn’t a lack of openings but for one reason or another they simply didn’t fit what Haru was looking for. One didn’t work because she was too young to apply, another was too strict with its scheduling, and so on.

“This one won’t do at all.”

But she refused to give up.

“Hm… not this one.”

There had to be something…

“No...”

...Just right…

“Oh! Mona-chan look at this one!”

Rafflesia Flower Shop Now Hiring!

Located in Underground Mall at Shibuya Station

Looking for charming employees to build and give our customers their dream bouquets.

Willing to provide flexible hours

Starting salary is 3200 yen.

Haru smiles as she pulls out her phone and calls the number on the flyer.

---------

“Thank you for taking this position, Kurusu-chan. I can tell that you’ll be a very good fit for Rafflesia.”

Haru gave her thanks to Hanasaki-san as she tied the apron around her waist.

“Now Kurusu-chan since this is your first day, I’m going to ask you to shadow me and Amamiya-kun. We’ll do the work and you observe us and try to learn the ropes.”

“Amamiya-kun?”

“Another employee, he’ll be here soon. Just keep your eye out for a young man about your age with dark hair and glasses. Now let’s get to work shall we?”

Haru did as she was told for the shift, learning as much as she can about the job from Hanasaki-san, and all the while keeping her eyes out for someone matching her co-worker’s description.

She was in the middle of watching her boss put together a bouquet of scarlet roses, care-nation, and justice jasmines when Amamiya-san arrived.

He was just as Hansaki-san described though Haru couldn’t help but giggle a little over how his headband was just barely containing his mess of hair. Thankfully he didn’t seem to hear (or mind) Haru’s laughing and instead went straight to their boss.

“I apologize for taking so long Hanasaki-san.”

“It’s no problem. Kurusu-chan, this is Ren Amamiya. Amamiya-kun, this is our new hire, Haru Kurusu. She’ll be shadowing you for the rest of the shift. So give her a good example to follow, alright?”

“Heh, heh, don’t worry I will.”

Amamiya then turned to Haru and smiled. For a brief moment she felt her breath caught in her throat.

“It’s nice to meet you Kurusu-chan. It’s good for have an extra set of hands here.”

“Oh! I-I I’m glad to be here.”

For the rest of the shift, Haru watched and followed Amamiya-kun. His passion for the job was something to be admired. He happily explained the different meanings of each flower, connecting those meanings to the type of bouquets people wanted, and really laid on the charm for the customers.

Honestly Haru found herself blushing more than once.

She was so focused on him, that she almost didn’t notice when Hanasaki-san approached her with an envelope of money.

“Here’s your pay for today. It’s just standard wages. Good work, Kurusu-chan. Come back again when you have the time.”

“Thank you, I will.”

She waved good-bye to her co-workers and made her way to the train back to Yongen-Jaya

---------

As soon as the bell rung, Haru made her way upstairs to meet with Ann and Ryuji to discuss going into Mementos today.

Just as she reached the second-year’s floor, Haru found herself nearly crashing into another student.

“Oh, my apologies...!”

“It’s fine Kurusu-chan I wasn’t looking where I was going and...”

Wait “Kurusu-chan?”

Haru looked up to face the student and found herself at a loss for words.

The boy in front of her wore a black sweater over his school turtleneck but what caught her attention was his messy dark hair and grey eyes. If he pulled his bangs back and wore a pair of glasses he’d look just like...

“...Amamiya-kun?”

“I-I’m sorry! Y-you must have me mistaken for-for s-some... ” and with that the boy rushed downstairs.

---------

The next day, Amamiya-kun didn’t arrive at work. Hanasaki-san had said that he called in sick but after what happened yesterday, Haru couldn’t help but worry. Why did he run away when she recognized him? Not to mention how different he was from the charming confident young man at the flower shop. Was he hiding something?

Whatever was wrong, she wanted to help him. She wasn’t going to let someone struggle in silence.

For the next few days at school, Haru kept her eyes open for Amamiya. She tried to ask around about him but anyone who was actually willing to talk to her only seemed to vaguely know who she was talking about.

She finally found him one day, exiting the library with a small stack of books.

“There you are!”

The dark-haired boy froze and looked at Haru with a nervous expression.

“Please don’t run away. I just wanted to talk, I’ve been worried about you.”

“Wait… Worried? About me?”

“You haven’t been to work since we bumped into each other the other day. Is there something the matter Amamiya-kun? Please whatever it is, I want to help...”

With some hesitance, Amamiya walked toward Haru.

“I’ll explain, just follow me.”

The two make their way outside the building and eventually sat down in one of the alcoves by the vending machines.

Amamiya looks around to see if anyone was near, takes a deep breath, and faces Haru.

“The truth is… my name isn’t Ren Amamiya. It’s Akira. The glasses and the headband are part of the… mask I wear for lack of a better word.”

“Why use a fake name? Why disguise yourself… are you in trouble Ama… I mean Akira-kun?”

Akira sighs, “No but I would be. Certain people in my life… wouldn’t approve of my choice of hobby. They want me to be more of a proper gentleman and well “proper gentlemen ” don’t plant and tend flowers. So I came up with the disguise so I could just get away from my regular life and do something I love. When you recognized me here, I was afraid that word would spread and everyone would find out.”

Haru sadly stares at him. She can’t imagine what it must be like to hide your passion in such a way. Without even thinking, Haru places her hand on top of Akira’s.

“Kurusu-chan?”

“Please, just call me Haru. And I promise Akira-kun, your secret is safe with me. You obviously care about working at the shop and it makes you happy. I never want to take that away from you. And if you ever need someone to confide in, I’ll be there.”

A tinge of pink covers Akira’s cheeks before he smiles.

“I… thank you Haru-chan.”

Haru squeezes Akira’s hand as she can feel a new power within her and time seeming to stop.

---------

She felt dizzy, her mouth was dry, and everything hurt.

Haru faced Niijima-san who seemed to pondering something.

“One of your later jobs involved probing into a certain conglomerate. There’s a possibility you even infiltrated their company building. Perhaps you had some sort of connection… Tell me about this person.”

Just as before with Niijima-san’s previous questions about her confidants, Haru stayed silent.

---------

I am thou, thou art I…

Thou hast acquired a new vow.

It shall become the wings of rebellion

That breaketh thy chains of captivity.

With the birth of the Empress Persona,

I have obtained the winds of blessing that

Shall lead to freedom and new power…

Akira cleared his throat and Haru immediately pulled her hand away.

“I’m sorry, I just kind of...”

“N-no it’s fine. I just… I know I already said it but thank you. I’ll be back at Rafflesia in a couple days. Then… then maybe I’ll take you up on your offer. I should head home now, my father’s… well I don’t want to worry him. I’ll see you later, Haru-chan.”

“See you later, Akira-kun.”

She waved goodbye as Akira walked away. However she soon heard a familiar laugh from her bag. Haru quickly opened it up and found Morgana grinning like… well like the cat that caught the canary.

“Mona-chan, I thought you were napping! How much of that did you hear?”

“Enough. Don’t worry I won’t tell anyone about your boyfriend.”

With that Haru zipped her bag back up, stood up, and made her way to the station. All the while ignoring Morgana’s protests.

#Persona 5 #Shuharuweek #Day 5 #Haru Okumura #Akira Kurusu #Anvil Doodles #Anvil Writings #OTP: Partners in Crime #Roleswap AU

[fallleaves4life-blog]

First Hammer

<part 1> <part 2> <part 3> <part 4> <part 5> <part 6> <part 7> <part 8> <part 9> <part 10> The next day, Yoongi got to the company an hour early again. He'd been good about arriving on time this past week, to the point he started panicking when he was only twenty minutes early. It was good conditioning, but it didn't sound very pleasant in those words.

Minki was doing his makeup as per usual, but he seemed distracted. "Minki, is something wrong?"

The artist sighed, blending the contour out. "Just a visit from an old client."

Yoongi frowned. "Is he messing with you? If he is, I'll kill him for you." The other smiled, and Yoongi smiled back. "I'm serious though, send Jonghyun on him."

Minki shook his head and styled the escort's hair, keeping in mind the casual event. "On another note, guess what I found out. You and Jun are having the same brunch meeting today."

Yoongi raised an eyebrow, the name ringing a bell but not registering a face. "Come again?"

"Junhui, the guy who's registered under Chinese fetish? He has a brunch meeting today with the exact same qualifications. You should walk to the meeting place together."

The name clicked, and he gasped. "Wait, the one who was, like, best friends with Luhan before he left?" A nod from Minki left him with wide eyes. "Wow. That's weird... I know like nothing about him." He laughed a little and the artist finished his makeup.

"Anywhore, walk with him to the cafe. You could get to know him and shit; you may have lots in common!"

Yoongi snickered at the other. "You sound like a mother, y'know. Practicing?"

Minki practically threw him out of the styling department with a tomato face.

-

Junhui lived in the residential apartments at the top of the building. He had to because of some landlord who apparently evicted him after his girlfriend found out he'd scheduled an appointment. It may not have been his fault, but with the eviction, he couldn't find an apartment. Yoongi asked around and was told Junhui lived in room 307, so that's where he knocked a few minutes later.

Junhui opened the door and raised an eyebrow at the other. "Who are you, exactly?"

"Someone you obviously don't know is your senior." Yoongi snorted at the flush rising on the man's face. "Ignoring that, Minki said our appointments were for the same meeting and we should walk together." The other nodded and held the door open, inviting Yoongi inside and shutting it once he was.

Yoongi had been in some of the apartments before, but they'd always felt small. This one was actually kind of decent. Open floor plan, nice furniture, and the kitchen looked updated. Maybe they got better as you got to the higher levels. But the other looked uncomfortable.

"Do you want me to leave, Junhui? We should get going soon either way.." He said as he looked at the clock on the wall.

The other shook his head, smiling slightly. "That clock is a few minutes fast, don't worry. And just call me, Jun. Don't feel bad you mispronounced my name; almost everyone I know here can't pronounce my name right." He started moving around the living room and picking up different pieces of clothing.

Yoongi smiled and eyed the place again, noticing the beautiful street view. "How is your room so much better than the others? Got a trick up your sleeve?"

"Just a rich boyfriend and a.. special relationship with the boss." He winked dramatically and deposited the clothes in a dirty clothes bin. "He favors me. To be honest, I think he's got some kind of Chinese fetish."

Yoongi fake shuddered and smiled. "Yeah, no, he's pretty messed up, I wouldn't be surprised."

The left the building giggling over the dumbest things. Minki was right, they did have a lot in common. Apparently, Jun was from a company division in China before he transferred here to be in a more closed off, special category of escort. It's kind of weird that there was a Chinese fetish at a Korean based company. According to the other, there was a Korean division at the one in China.

It was a fairly long walk to the cafe, and Yoongi felt thankful to Bam for styling them in their loose button-ups. Even though it was windy, the sun was out and glaring at everyone. Combined with the walking, the wind was the only thing keeping them from sweating.

By the time they arrived at the cafe, the two escorts were play-fighting over their answers in Fuck, Marry, Kill (Jun chose to kill Justin Timberlake, and Yoongi was not having it). They were on time, but their clients were already waiting. Jin ran ahead and practically tackled the man next to Hoseok, while Yoongi just walked up next to him.

Jun smiled at Yoongi. "This is the man I told you about, Gi: Xu Minghao." Yoongi smiled and nodded at the man, receiving a small smile in return. Jun was just a tad taller, but much skinnier and leaner. Not to say the man was buff, just buffer than Jun.

"You were right, he is cute. He obviously makes you happy considering the way you're clinging to him like a spider monkey." Yoongi cackled softly at the flush rising on Jun's face. He leaned in a little and whispered in his ear something the other two couldn't hear, but the way Jun hit him afterward with a red face, they could only assume it was dirty.

Hoseok and Minghao discussed business, and Jun and Yoongi spent more time talking and getting to know each other. They were on opposite sides of the table, sitting next to their clients and obviously acting how they're supposed to, but Yoongi could see the look in Jun's eye whenever Minghao touched him. They lit up, and the smile on his face was always warm. Minghao's was too. His hand never rested on the other one's thigh like Hoseok's did. It only stayed on his shoulder, holding the other one close.

It wasn't fake.

But he supposed his relationship with Hoseok wasn't entirely fake either.

After the meal, Yoongi called Jun aside to talk to him about it. "Jun, you like him don't you?"

"What do you mean, Gi?" His confused tone of voice meant Jun clearly didn't have any idea what was going on.

"You like Minghao. Like, like like him."

Jun's face paled a little and he cleared his throat, hands clasping behind his back. "I don't know what you're talking about, Yoongi." Ooh, a drop of the nickname. I'm right.

Yoongi smiled softly. "C'mon, Jun, I see the way you look at him.. and the way he looks at you." Jun looked away, another flush rising on his cheeks. "I can see things like that. But I won't tell anyone as long as you keep careful."

"What do you mean?" His eyes looked scared and his voice shook, but his posture didn't change. Practice.

Yoongi nodded towards Hoseok, Jun's eyes following the movement. "On my first meeting with him, I slept afterward and I left late. I got in big trouble with the boss. I don't want you to, too. So be careful and don't let anyone else know. Does anyone else know?" Jun paused then slowly nodded, and Yoongi's heart fell. "Who did you tell?"

Jun was silent for a while. Minghao looked in their direction with a worried expression, probably wondering why Jun looked so distraught, but when he gave him a small smile, he returned to the conversation with Hoseok. It seemed to give him the last push as he faced Yoongi again. "Boo Seungkwan." The elder raised an eyebrow, not recognizing the name again, although it sounded familiar just as Jun's had just a few hours ago. "He's at our company too, just a room over from me. He's always with that CEO Hansol; he's his favorite client. But.. Boo caught Minghao leaving my room, and I couldn't really deny it..."

Yoongi was in so much shock he almost slapped the other. "You sleep with him, in your company apartment? Right under the boss's office?!" Hoseok and Minghao turned around again, but Yoongi only quieted his voice slightly. "Jun, that's about as risky as you can get! You cannot do that anymore!"

"I'm sorry, but could you please stop yelling at him?"

Yoongi turned and glared at Minghao, feeling anger bubbling in his stomach. "You- You cannot sneak into his room anymore unless you want him hurt!"

Minghao looked mad enough to kill. "Is that a threat?" He pulled Jun close to him, protectively, oh but if only he knew..

Hoseok's hand was on his should, and most of his anger evaporated. Most. "Not a threat from me. You won't do it again unless you want him raped like me." He only caught a glimpse of Minghao's shocked face and Jun's tears as he turned and walked away, Hoseok following him at a few paces behind.

-

It felt like they always ended up having sex. Always on Hoseok's bed too. That was Yoongi's favorite place to have sex, he decided. The silk sheets felt so cool on his burning skin, and the comforter was fluffy and light. He loved the sex with Hoseok either way, but his bedroom made it all the more magical.

Sex? Magical? He laughed at himself. When did I get so corny?

They had finished not too long ago, but Yoongi hadn't gotten up. He loved Hoseok's bed. He curled up into the sheets and exhaled happily. Hoseok went to make food for him, even though they just ate. He was really concerned with Yoongi's health for some weird reason, and since he hadn't eaten much the past week, he was adamant about making Yoongi eat.

Kind of cute, but Yoongi was a tad concerned he'd get fat.

He'd also kind of hoped that Hoseok would have laid with him like last time.

Yoongi giggled into the pillow and slapped himself playfully. What was going on inside his mind? It was filled with thoughts of Hoseok's hands and arms and hair and smile and-

He stopped before he could get carried away. At times like this, he felt guilty he was so happy to be with Hoseok if for only an hour or so. But right now, his happiness was so far above his guilt, he couldn't feel it. Maybe it was because of their conversation yesterday, but he felt so much happier to be with Him.

Okay, that morning he'd been distracted. Actually, he felt like shit for doing that to Jun. he should've kept his nose out. His phone was on the nightstand (because for once, they weren't in a huge rush to get each other's clothes off), so he reached over and clicked on the new contact added an hour ago: Junhui~

Yoongi dialed the number, and it rang a few times. For a long time actually, he was worried he wouldn't pick up. But it stopped just before the last ring ended, and when Jun spoke, he sounded out of breath. "Yoongi! I'm so sorry for this morning! And for how Minghao acted, and he feels like shit! Like, huge shit and he's really sorry, but he's too proud to tell you, so I'm apologizing for him, but he does mean it, I promise-"

"Jun, please calm down!" He laughed into the phone, and he heard soft giggles coming from the other side. "I didn't want to have to say it, but I got really scared for you when you told me about what you were doing. You're not back at your apartment, are you? Don't be shocked, because I can totally tell Minghao is with you and you're fucking."

There was a sound of protest on the other end, but then a laugh that definitely wasn't Jun's. "Creepy! Anyway, no, we're at Ming's house. He won't be coming back to my apartment. I promise, Hyung!"

The sudden honorific made Yoongi laugh. He heard Hoseok walking into the bedroom, but he wasn't finished talking. "You don't have to call me Hyung, no one does."

"But you're, like, way older than me!"

Yoongi laughed again, noticing out of the corner of his eye that Hoseok smiled. He felt a hand in his hair and smiled at the other. "Hey, only by five years. It's not that bad. I'm older than your boyfriend, too, y'know." A gasp from the other was expected but not that kind of gasp. He laughed. "Oh, okay Minghao, I see how it is. Want your bottom back? Take him." He hung up with a laugh, head falling into Hoseok's chest, which was easy since he was sitting on the bed and the other was standing.

He looked up at Hoseok through his bangs, smiling at the fingers moving through his hair. "Something you wanna ask, Jung?"

A nod, and a smile. "Food is done. Ready to eat, Yoongi?"

There was a flutter in his chest as he nodded, and he felt almost nauseated when he turned his head to kiss Hoseok's pectoral. It was so scary, yet exhilarating. It made Yoongi want to spend the rest of his life in that moment. If you asked him, he'd say you were crazy. But he'd know you were right.

#bts suga #bts fanfction #bts jhope #bts fic #bts #jung hoseok #jhope #nu’est #choi minki #ren #suga #min yoongi

[canaryatlaw]

Ugh I'm really bad at going to bed when I want to lol. Today was pretty good. I dragged my ass out of bed at 8:30 and got ready to go to the beach. I don't really have a bathing suit (I have one but idk if it fits and I didn't bring it with me anyway) so I just wore a bra and underwear with a tank top and shorts and faked it because whatever. We left for the beach around 9 and made fairly good time, getting there around 9:50. Parking was already swamped, and we had to drive around for a few minutes but soon found a spot on the street and discovered that you can pay for the meter by phone if you don't have enough quarters (interesting). So from there we walked over to the public access point, not very far. We were right over by where we used to always stay when we would come down here to visit my cousins. Where they actually live is kind of out in the middle of nowhere, and the only thing nearby is a motel, and my parents don't really do motels if at all avoidable (spoiled rich people that they are) so we always opted for one of the touristy hotels on the beach, because hey, beach! I was just happy to be back at the ocean. I dutifully put sunscreen on, then laid back for a little while before deciding to go in the water. At first I was being hesitant and not wanting to go all the way in but then I saw the waves and thought about how some of my happiest memories from my childhood are at the beach jumping waves with my (other) cousin and my brother because nobody was making fun of me and I was simply accepted as part of the group, and I just said fuck it and ended up jumping through waves and dunking my head under for a good while with my cousin, and it was very much fun. I got to talk to my cousin a bit while we were out there about college and such and how to prepare and just practical advice and shit, so that was good. Eventually we went back, and I guess my mortal mistake was not reapplying sunscreen at this point, because I ended up with stupid ridiculous sunburn on my arms and legs and I'm very irritated about it. But anyway. We sat with my mom and aunts for a while, then the adults (or adult adults) went for a walk and I just sat with my cousin, and looked at the ocean and just ended up thinking. And I sat there and I thought about how much I missed the ocean, the real ocean, and how much I've enjoyed these days with my extended family, feeling that sense of love and community that seems so lacking in so many of my lonely days in Chicago. I thought about my grandparents and how I didn't get enough time with them, and how I never got to know my grandpa on my mom's side very well because he lived in Arizona and we only ever saw him for a few days a year. I thought about how my dad is already in his 70's, and while he's in good health he's still getting older and it's obviously going to still be a few years before I have any kids. I thought about how I want my kids to know their grandparents, to spend time with them while they can and build those relationships while they have the chance to, before they're taken from them too soon. I thought about how my cousins all lived in different states, and how I'd like my kids to be very close with their cousins, that they'd grow up alongside them, that my kids would know their uncles and aunt and feel so loved by all the family around them. And I just sat looking at the ocean and I decided I don't want to stay in Chicago after I finish law school. I don't really know where this decision came from. Sure, there's all the above, but up until now all of that was true and staying in Chi was still a rational decision to make. But now....I just don't want to anymore. Maybe it has to do with the job in New York City that I want so badly, that while I love the work I do now that is what I really want to do, what I want to do long term. How I'd be close enough to my family but not so close that I'd feel the need to get away that sent me packing in the first place. I need breathing room. I'm not moving back home. But I wouldn't be opposed to being closer, a lot closer than Chicago. I don't know if this job in NYC is what God does have in store for me, but I know I really want it. I guess we'll have to see what happens. I will really really miss my church in Chicago though. I love it there oh so much and I can only hope to find a community that resonates with my soul so much again in a new place. I love the people there and their beautiful hearts, and I will miss them dearly. But, anyways. We stayed at the beach until about 2 when we wanted to head back since we didn't want to spend the whole day there. We stopped at one of the little beach stores because my aunt (the one from Michigan) wanted to look at stuff. I wound up getting two pairs of shorts, like soffee style, because the shorts I was wearing yesterday were way too big for me as are the majority of my shorts now haha so I'll be needing to do something about that. I'm not really crazy about this aunt. She's technically my step-aunt I suppose, as she's not the mother of my cousins, though my uncle divorced her before I have any memories of them. I remember vaguely before they got married, and I remember it happening and gaining two new cousins (or step-cousins technically, but we've dropped that mostly). Growing up I thought I didn't like her because my cousins didn't like her and I liked them, but as I got older and those cousins haven't really been around, I've realized that she's really just a rude person and is always very demeaning towards younger people and it definitely just pissed me off as a kid (and sometimes still pisses me off). But anyway, not the point. We got back in the car and briefly stopped for coffee, then drove back to the house. I showered to get the sand off me and get the salt water out of my hair, then tried to aloe up the best I could. Everyone was kind of chilling at this point so I pulled out my laptop, only to find the mouse pad being erratic and not responding correctly, so I cursed and shut it off, hoping it being off for a few hours will fix the issue and it'll work for me to live tweet the Tonys tonight. Shortly after this we started playing badminton out front, and the neighbors came over, so I sat and talked with the mom for a bit. This is the mom of the girl I was talking to last night, and I very much enjoyed talking to her as well. We eventually moved to the back for some reason, then started playing bs, and today apparently was not my day for it because I didn't win either of our games lol. The second was interrupted by dinner, which we had steak for, then we finished and it was like 7:40 at this point so I checked my computer which was thankfully cooperating at this point and waited for the Tonys to start. I knew this year would be a bit odd because I admittedly have not been paying attention to the theatre season at all, and I've only seen one show that was barely nominated, so I wasn't really familiar with any of the front runners. I knew the concept of DEH and had seen Ben Platt perform on one of the tonight shows, but that was about it. I had mixed feelings overall about the night. Kevin Spacey was funny enough. I really enjoyed the Falsettos performance, so I'm very glad that was apparently recorded and I can see it in movie theatres since it closed way back in November (I don't know why, it looks hilarious). I wasn't impressed at all by hello dolly or Groundhog Day, I thought they were both very boring and I didn't quite know how they got nominated. War Paint I felt like should've been more impressive for the star power it had, but the music just wasn't very good. The DEH performance was of course great, it was a strong choice of course to pick a song that really only features your main actor and not an ensemble piece like most shows do, but Ben Platt did a fantastic job of carrying it and I was totally obsessed with the set design, holy crap it was awesome. I have tentative plans at least to see that show before the summer is over, assuming we can get tickets. I was sad Anastasia didn't win for featured actress or costumes, I can't speak for the costumes for other shows but Anastasia's were BEAUTIFUL, some of the best I've ever seen, and undoubtedly deserved a Tony for it. And Mary Beth Peil was did an amazing job in her role and I wish she got recognized for it. It also pissed me off it didn't get nominated for best musical when fucking Groundhog Day did which looked fucking terrible???? Like why??? Why is that a thing and why did it get nominated for best musical???? I have so many frustrations. Ugh. And Christy Altomare belonged in the leading actress race and Ramin Karimloo belonged in the featured actor race, but I digress. Great Comet had a fun performance, I enjoyed their costumes as well (mostly how it went from 1800s to punk rock in about two seconds) although I'm still not entirely sure what the show is actually about, or how it was conceived (something about war and peace)??? I liked what they did with having the playwrights talk about their plays, it was super effective in getting invested in them and better than how they used to do it. I also appreciated how they introduced them with the writers name first for the revivals. DEH winning of course surprised nobody, though it'll probably make ticket prices go up (sigh, as if they weren't high enough already). But yeah, it was decent, a good watch at least. And that pretty much summed up my night, just followed by an inability to get off my phone, though my phone has picked up the annoying habit of dying on me when the battery isn't dead but won't turn back on unless plugged in??? Ugh, not happy about it, but have a Genius Bar appointment for it Tuesday. Flying home tomorrow, but more on that then. Sleep for now. Goodnight peeps. Stay lovely.

#daily journal #June 2017

[anavoliselenu]

Hiched chapter 1

Prologue

Justin

“Another beer?” my best friend Sterling asks.

“I better not.”

He smirks. “So you’re really going to go through with it, huh, mate?”

“What’s the big deal? You took a fake date to prom.”

I chuckle to myself, remembering the year Sterling took his cousin to the dance. He thought it was genius at the time—no corsage to buy, no need to impress her with a fancy restaurant or limo ride. Until the end of the night, when all the rest of us were enjoying some skin-to-skin contact with our dates, and he realized what a horrible decision he’d made. The only skin-to-skin action he got was with his hand.

“A fake wife is a hell of a lot different. It’s a big fucking deal.” Sterling glares at me over the rim of his beer.

Looking out over the ocean from our spot on the porch of the beach cottage, I loosen my tie, which has grown too tight around my neck, and level him with a dark stare.

“Actually, it’s legally binding, so she’ll be my real wife. Until we got divorced, or got the marriage annulled or whatever.”

“Do you even hear yourself? This is insane. You can’t marry some chick you don’t even like.”

“Who says I don’t like her?”

His eyes widen. “I’m not talking about the unrequited lust-fueled crush you’ve had on her since you were a horny teenager.”

I rub the back of my neck, feeling the stirrings of a headache. “What do you expect me to do? It’s part of my father’s will. This is my—no, our condition for taking over the company. No marriage means no inheritance, period. For either of us.”

Some people may say that being thrust into such luxury from the start makes you immune to it all, but that’s not true. I’ve never taken a single day of it for granted, and there’s no way in hell I’m going to give it up without a fight.

Sterling releases a loud sigh, and his gaze follows mine out to the water beyond. “I just think you should really think this through, man. Marriage is a big deal. It’s not something to be entered into lightly.”

Between the two of us, Sterling’s always been the voice of reason. For every brazen and rash idea I’ve had, every time I’ve jumped into the deep end without thinking, he’s helped steer me back onto the straight-and-narrow path. He’s been my best friend since we were fourteen. As the two new kids at a prestigious boarding school in Connecticut, we became inseparable.

“Trust me when I tell you I understand the gravity of the situation.”

My father’s death last year was a huge wake-up call. The fate of his $100 billion company suddenly dropped straight into my hands. I had to be ready to take over. And I am—I’ll do whatever it takes. Of course, it doesn’t hurt that my bride-to-be is the woman I’ve always wanted.

“There has to be another way,” Sterling says after taking a sip of his beer. “Besides, with your wandering eye and perpetually hard dick, you’d make a terrible husband.”

Ouch. I’m not that bad, am I?

He’s lecturing me about something, but all I can focus on is the tumultuous waves and the uneasy feelings stirring inside me.

“Oh, one more thing,” I say, turning toward him. “I need to knock her up.”

Sterling spits out his drink.

Chapter One

Justin

One Month Earlier

I clench my teeth and check my Rolex for the third time. This entire thing is a huge waste of time.

“Where is she?” I cast a glance at Selena’s father, Fred Cane, who’s seated at the head of the long conference room table.

“She’ll be here,” he assures me. Then, under his breath, he adds, “She’s got to.”

My sentiments exactly.

This meeting is a last-ditch effort to try to convince Selena to sign the contract. But I’m worried today will just be a repeat of last week. She flat-out refused to sign anything that put the two of us together in the same sentence—and said hell no.

Actually, it might have been said with more gusto. I think there was even an f-bomb involved.

But we need to get hitched before ownership of Tate & Cane Enterprises can transfer to us. And with the board of directors’ deadline looming, we need to do it yesterday. I’m not losing the $100 billion company that my father built because the ice queen won’t play nice.

I make a fat six-figure income, enjoy the finest indulgences money can buy, and I know damn well I live the good life. Just because I don’t take it for granted doesn’t mean I don’t take advantage.

Free upgrades at all the best hotels? Absolutely. The finest champagne delivered to my table, courtesy of the sommelier? Why not? The lifeguard at our country club letting me bend her over in the locker room all summer? Sure. The pretty blond hostess at La Chample who wants to blow me in the bathroom before my business dinner? Hell yeah. Being wealthy and attractive has its perks.

But if Selena doesn’t show up today, and if we can’t agree on the terms of this contract, my wealth stands to suffer immensely. As do the jobs and lives of the six thousand employees of Tate & Cane, including one of my favorite people on the planet, Rosita Hernandez. She’s a single mom to six kids. And if this deal goes south, I can only imagine what would happen to someone like Rosita. Christ, I’d probably end up moving her and the kids into my penthouse. Which would obviously put a huge cramp in the aforementioned blow jobs and champagne I regularly enjoy.

I shudder at the thought.

“I know it’s unconventional, that the contract is . . .” Fred pauses and frowns. He drums his fingers on the table, looking sheepish.

Unconventional? To say the fucking least. If the situation weren’t so grim, I might laugh.

He and my father drew up their wills years ago, outlining what would happen to their multibillion-dollar baby should they kick the bucket. The daunting stack of papers in front of me spells out in full legal jargon that Selena and I are to inherit the company with joint fifty-fifty ownership . . . but only if we’re legally wed.

With Fred’s failing health and the company itself suffering six consecutive quarters in the red, an emergency meeting was called last week. Selena and I were presented with our options.

In my view, there were no options. There was just the right thing to do. We had to marry to save not only our own jobs, but our fathers’ legacies and the jobs of six thousand people in offices in Manhattan, Chicago, San Diego, and Brussels.

Selena felt differently. She didn’t relish the idea of being tied to me, and insisted there had to be another way.

Even if we do manage to persuade her to tie the knot, there’s no way Selena would be getting anywhere near my bed. Damn shame.

We came close once . . . just once. Back when she was a drunk college co-ed on spring break.

Her family was staying with mine in a beach house on Puget Sound. We’d escaped the East Coast for the West that summer. Whale watching and hiking trips in the salty sea air and evenings spent eating lobster and drinking chardonnay like we were real adults and not nineteen-year-olds with stars in our eyes.

She snuck out of the bunk bed in the room she was sharing with her sister, Rachel, and into my bedroom that night. And when she crawled in beside me and laid her warm palm against my bare chest, I was a goner. I’ve always wanted Selena. Always desired her, from before I even knew what those strange feelings were in my gut, my chest. We kissed in the darkness, our tongues exploring, hands groping, hearts beating wildly.

But then reality slammed into me. There were a lot of reasons I told her no that night. Her mom had recently been diagnosed with cancer, and I knew Selena would regret using me to cope. Plus, I knew from a recent game of Truth or Dare that she was still a virgin.

So I kissed her a final time and then sent her away. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

And now she treats me as if I were a piece of gum stuck to the bottom of those Louboutin heels she favors.

“I really think this is for the best,” Fred adds, pulling me back to the present.

“It’s what your father wanted, Justin,” Prescott says. Before my father’s death, Prescott was his most trusted advisor. He’s also a total fucking douche bag.

Just then, the conference room door flies open, and I know it’s her before I even look up from the contract.

A fresh floral scent with crisp notes of honeysuckle greets me. I have no idea where Selena gets that shit, but it makes my mouth water. It always has. I once spent an entire Saturday at the fragrance counter of a department store trying to figure it out, trying to prove that it was just some manufactured, bottled version of attraction, that it wasn’t something special to her. I never found it.

“I’m here,” Selena says, slightly breathless.

I look up just in time to be treated to the sight of her smoothing her dress shirt over her curves. Lush breasts and a flat stomach leading to full hips. Her jacket is slung over her arm, as is her tan leather briefcase, monogrammed with her initials in black cursive stitching.

“Miss Cane,” I say cheerfully. “You look exceptionally refreshed this morning.”

She likes to exercise in the morning before work, says it gives her the mental agility to stay focused on business for the sixteen-hour days she’s known to plow through. I like that it gives her cheeks a rosy glow . . . much like I’d guess sex would. Just the thought makes my cock twitch in my dress slacks.

“Save it, Justin. This is purely business,” she says, blinking at me with those lush, dark lashes.

No smile. No laughter. The opposite of the usual reaction I evoke from the fairer sex. And that annoys the shit out of me.

It’s as if Selena Cane alone possesses an antidote to my charm. And that only makes me want to watch her surrender to me that much more. The idea of her on her knees, pink lips parted, taking my cock deep down her throat, begging for more even as she gags on my impressive length, is more than just a sexual turn-on. It’s practically a life goal. To me, sex is a competitive sport. I know the rules, I play hard, and I always win.

Realizing they’re all still watching me, I take a deep breath, trying to force my cock to behave himself, and hold up my hands. She’s never taken one ounce of my shit, and I respect the hell out of her for that.

“I’m just trying to do what’s best here.”

She lets out a soft sigh of exasperation and sets her bag on the table. “Let’s get on with this.”

Her father pats the back of her hand. “Sit down, honey.”

She obeys, poised even in defeat, lowering herself into the seat with the confidence that was bred into her from birth. Preston slides a copy of the contract over to her, and she leafs through it with disinterest.

“I just don’t see why there has to be a marriage clause in the will.”

The woman has a point. My guess? Because our fathers have always wanted to play matchmaker when it came to us. They’ve paired us together since we were in diapers. Hell, we even have an old photo of us in full wedding apparel at a fake wedding from some twenty years ago.

“I’ve explained this, darling. It’s the only way we keep the company in the family. I thought that’s what you wanted . . . a chance to run this place someday.”

“I do, Dad,” she says softly. Then her eyes lift to mine. “I just didn’t think I’d be forced into something like this.”

“No one’s forcing you,” I say, keeping my tone light as I lace my fingers behind my head. “The choice is yours, Selena. I already told you, I’m game.”

She chews on her red lacquered thumbnail for just a second before folding her hands in her lap and shooting me an icy glare. “I’m quite aware of your position.”

Hell, at least she’s willing to hear us all out again. I know that deep down, she understands our fathers’ rationale. We’re stronger together. Our families built this company together. Neither of us can afford to buy the other out, so it needs to stay jointly fifty-fifty within the family. For now.

But for me, it’s about more than just money. Selena and I grew up together; our parents always envisioned us ending up together. I always knew she’d be somewhere in my future, even if it was just working side by side, with her busting my balls every chance she got. It was something I looked forward to.

Fred continued. “Trust and loyalty are the most important things in business. We can’t go getting into bed with someone we don’t know. We have to keep all of this in this room. Just between family.”

Selena sighs, giving him a skeptical look. “I’ll think about it.”

At least it wasn’t a flat no this time, even if her tone is still sour.

Prescott lets out an annoyed huff. “We’ll meet again on Thursday.”

She stuffs the contract in her bag and rises from the table, seemingly in a hurry to escape. “Until then.”

“Thank you for keeping an open mind,” her father says. “These things have a way of working themselves out in ways you can’t anticipate.”

I accept Fred and Prescott’s good-bye handshakes. When Selena’s turn comes, she thrusts her hand at me, clearly wanting to just get this over with . . . and I have a flash of wicked inspiration. Maybe I should shake things up. Test how thick her icy shell really is.

Holding her gaze, I raise her hand to my mouth and kiss it. “A pleasure doing business with you . . . Mrs. Tate,” I tease in a husky voice, letting my lips graze her knuckles.

Her eyes widen and she sucks in her breath. Is it my imagination, or do her cheeks look a little pinker than before? But before I can be sure, her expression hardens into a death glare.

Snatching back her hand, she snaps, “Don’t get ahead of yourself. I haven’t agreed to marry you yet, and even if I do, I’m never taking your last name.”

And then she’s gone, leaving me standing there with a stupid grin on my face.

“I’ve seen that look before,” Fred says with a small smile. “You’re in trouble, son.”

I laugh off his warning. There’s no way Selena Cane will ever have me wrapped around her finger.

Yet her unique sweetness lingers in my nostrils. She must have dabbed that intoxicating scent on her wrist, so close to my nose when I kissed her hand. I can still feel her soft, smooth skin on my lips. Such a small intimacy—just brushing her as I spoke—shouldn’t have spread this tingle over me. But there’s no denying that this room has become a few degrees too warm.

This is going to be interesting. Hell, it may even be fun.

Chapter Two

Selena

Camryn almost spills her pear mojito and gasps. “You have to do what? With who?”

Nodding grimly, I take a fortifying gulp of sangria. Just explaining this whole harrowing situation makes me feel like I’m going crazy.

We’re eating lunch at a table for two at Banderilla, our favorite tapas bar in all of Manhattan. This restaurant has been our go-to hangout spot since we were college roommates.

We’ve talked over countless decisions here. Whether I should break up with my shitty first boyfriend (I did), whether Camryn should give her anal virginity to her wannabe musician boyfriend (she did), if we should get matching friendship tattoos (I chickened out), whether she should accept Tate & Cane’s job offer after the internship I hooked her up with (she did).

But this decision is probably the biggest of my life. I need my best friend’s coolheaded advice now more than ever.

Camryn heaves a sympathetic sigh. “Jesus. I knew the company wasn’t doing so hot, but I had no idea just how much trouble we were in.”

“Yeah, turns out we should have invested more in social media.”

Like all the other big marketing firms. Dad had stuck to his guns with old strategies, and now clients thought we were a dinosaur.

“So, what do you think I should do about this contract?” I ask her again. I try not to sound impatient, but my head has been spinning ever since Dad announced his retirement—and I learned exactly what I’d need to do to take his place.

“Let me make sure I understand. You need to inherit and unfuck T&C, or else the board will pawn it off. Before the next financial quarter.”

“Yep.”

“But Bill Tate’s will says you can’t inherit until you marry his son.”

“Uh-huh.”

She sucks her teeth. “So . . . down the aisle in a matter of days, huh? Sounds like the board is the rock and Tate’s will is the hard place.”

“Exactly.” Although it’s Justin’s hard place that I really need to worry about right now. “And between the two, my personal life’s about to get smashed into dust.”

“I didn’t know you had a personal life.” She holds up one hand at my exasperated glare. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding. Sorry.”

“No, you’re right. I don’t really.” I sigh heavily. “But damn it, why should I give up what little I have? It’s not fair. At the end of a long workday, I want to come home to my own space for some peace and quiet.”

Not to mention wine. And ice cream. And drowning out the silence with crappy TV so I can’t start thinking about how lonely I am.

“I couldn’t stand having that jerk in my face 24–7. I’d put up with him all day at work, and then I’d have to see his dirty socks everywhere.” Fuck no.

“Who says you have to share your space?”

I snort as I lift a forkful of papas bravas to my mouth. “A husband and wife who don’t live together? Yeah, that’d look just great for publicity.” One of many reasons why Dad would never let me hear the end of it.

Camryn shrugs, her palms turned up. “My point is, you don’t necessarily have to lose your whole life.”

“Just the parts with independence and privacy.”

“Come on, try to think about the situation like any other business move. This marriage is just a piece of paper. After you and Justin deal with the big picture, you can negotiate the details like adults and find something you can both live with. You two are on the same page here—making a huge personal sacrifice to save your company.”

“I’m not so sure about that. Justin seems way more into the idea than me. He was on board from the very beginning.”

I rub my hand where he kissed it, thinking about the husky way he murmured Mrs. Tate. His idea of matrimony clearly isn’t very holy.

Camryn raises one perfectly waxed eyebrow. “Oh? You think he likes the idea of sharing a bed with you?”

“I think he likes sharing a bed with anything that has a pulse.”

Although his playboy ways make it seem even odder that he’s so eager to tie himself down. Uh, that was a poor choice of words. But who’s to say he won’t just keep sleeping around?

Like Camryn said, this marriage is strictly business. A mere legal formality. And Justin would probably explode if he went more than a week without pussy.

I may be the boss’s daughter, but I still overhear my fair share of office gossip. Justin nailed all six interns last summer. He’s also slept with various secretaries over the years, and everyone just turned a blind eye. Boys will be boys . . .

Well, playtime is over. If he expects to turn this company around, we’ve got our work cut out for us.

“But how do you feel about all this? Justin Tate is pretty fucking hot.”

“Camryn . . .” I groan.

“What? I have working eyeballs. His hotness is an objective fact. Just like the pope being Catholic and carbs making you fat. He just is. Would it really be so bad to see him naked?” Her sly smile says she’s suggesting a lot more than just looking. “As long as we’re weighing the pros and cons here . . .”

I pause to consider the image, then grudgingly admit, “No.”

In fact, it would probably be pretty damn fantastic. I’ve already gotten a preview of his toned body, firm chest, and six-pack abs. Whenever our families summered together in the Hamptons, he took every opportunity to strut around shirtless. Hell, when I was nineteen, I came close to fucking him. But I was young and stupid and horny back then. Now I’m older, wiser . . . and still incredibly horny. Damn it.

It’s ridiculous how easily Justin grabs my attention. The smallest thing he does can leave me flustered. Like at the close of our business meeting yesterday. Just as a bare-bones courtesy, the most brusque good-bye possible, I stuck out my hand at him—only for Justin to bow slightly and raise it to his mouth for a lingering kiss.

“A pleasure doing business with you . . . Mrs. Tate,” he teased in a husky voice.

My mouth went dry and my stomach fluttered. Or maybe that flutter was somewhere a bit south of my stomach. I suddenly remembered exactly how many years, months, days, and hours it had been since I’d last gotten laid.

I tried to recover. Who the hell did he think he was? We were standing in a Madison Avenue skyscraper, not a sixteenth-century castle. This was wildly inappropriate workplace behavior. I could slap his tight ass with a harassment suit if I wanted. Instead, I just gave the cocky bastard a death glare and the iciest retort I could think of.

But it was too late. There was no denying my body’s reaction. The red-hot shiver that had run down my spine when his soft, full lips touched my knuckles, brushing my skin as he spoke.

Even now, I find myself replaying the image of Justin Tate gazing up at me with a sinful smirk, his dark eyes alight . . .

I shake away the steamy memory. So what if Justin knows how to flirt like the shameless manwhore he is? Schmoozing is all he’s good for. And handsome men are a dime a dozen, especially in New York. Hell, a fifty-dollar vibrator could do his job, and I wouldn’t have to listen to its bullshit. I didn’t bust my ass in business school just to become Justin’s little woman.

Then again, I also didn’t bust my ass in business school to watch my father’s company go down the drain, either.

My thoughts sober me, cooling my anger into melancholy. I spent my childhood in my father’s office, playing at his feet while he steered a financial ship of thousands. All children think of their parents as gods, and I was no exception. Even since I took my place at his right hand, with my own voice in the family business, I still respect him more than any other man.

[maylovexhs]

Guilty(H.S) - Chapter 7

Author’s Note: None at all. Enjoy the long chapter loves! May xxx

Previous chapters can be found here

Buzz. Buzz.

“Mhm” I mumbled under my breath.

Buzzz.

I rolled over in bed. I stretched my hand out, trying to reach the vibrating phone set on the right white nightstand next to my bed. I managed to grab the phone, becoming almost blind when the bright screen flashed in my face. I quickly tapped on my phone, silencing the alarm. I threw my phone on the blanket. Why did I set an alarm again?

I looked under the bed sheets. Someone changed me. I was in Dex’s t-shirt. Not the white shirt and jeans from yesterday. The last thing I remember was Harry carrying me in. Oh God, I hope he didn’t chan-

‘There’s a loving in your eyes all the way’ 

Dex. Singing. I didn’t hear him sing in months. 

‘If I listen to your lies, would you say I’m a man without conviction’

I stood up from bed, walking out of the bedroom to the kitchen where Dex’s voice originated from. He continued to sing the next lines of the song. I peeked through the kitchen’s door, trying to hide from Dex and the dogs.

‘I’m a man who doesn’t know how to all a contradiction?’

I stepped closer behind Dex, faintly whispering the next line with him. Whispering low enough for him not to notice. 

‘You come and go, you come and go’

I sang louder as the chorus hit. 

‘Karma, karma, karma, karma, karma chameleon’

Dex screamed, jumping. I laughed at his girly scream. The dogs ran up to me. 

“MEL!” Dex yelled at me. “I could have burned my hand”

From my sight, his body blocked the image of the sizzling frying pan. Scrambled eggs. Loved them. Hate them now. I blame the pregnancy. 

“Sorry. I just couldn’t resist” I said petting the dogs.

I remember now why I set that stupid alarm in the first place. I wanted to catch Dex before he went for work. Anne gave me the idea last night.

“Please don’t tell me you have work today” I said hugging Dex from behind. 

“Is that the reason why you’re clinging onto me? You know, that will only make me want to go more” Dex joked as he flipped the eggs.

“I’m not being clingy. I just miss you. You’re never here” 

I nuzzled my head into his warm arm.

“I am here. You not here when I am”

Dex shut off the fire and transferred his eggs to a plate.

“Yeah, Yeah. You get my point” I said moving to the edge of the marble counter. 

“Do you really have to go?” I asked with puppy eyes and a pout. 

Dex looked up and down at me, chuckling at my attempt to get him to stay.

“Well . . How can I refuse?”

I smiled before running up to kiss him. My arms were around his neck as his hands traveled down to my ass. He pinched it, signaling that he wanted to pick me up. I jumped up, with him picking me up and setting me on the counter next to the eggs. 

“We’re gonna spill the eggs” I said in the middle of our kisses.

“Oh, fuck the eggs” Dex said.

I chuckled, being a bit turned on by Dex’s cursing. We continued to make out. I wrapped my legs around Dex’s lower half as my hands ran through his bleach blond hair. Dex was slowly pulling his shirt up my thigh.

“Dex . .Wait”

I heard footsteps. The sound of boots hitting against the hard cold tiles of the floor. Strange, I thought. I hadn’t even heard the elevator ding. 

“‘Melia!”

Oh, shit. It’s Harry. Dex and I separated instantly. I hopped off the counter and ran to the bedroom. Dex looked at me, confused to why I was running away.I grabbed my breasts, pointing out that I wasn’t wearing a bra.I got to the bedroom in time for Harry not to see me. I left the door open a little bit just enough to hear the conversation between Harry and Dex occur. 

“Dexter! How are yeh?” I heard Harry say in his Cheshire accent.

“Flustered” I heard Dex answer back. 

Harry better not ask why. I don’t need him to be involved in my sex life either.  I quietly started to rummage for clothes in my drawers. 

“What’s wrong?” Harry asked.

“Trust me, you don’t want to know. Is that for-?”

“Yeah! I got it for yeh and ‘Melia” Harry said.

Got what? It better not be tickets for some hockey game. I pulled out a bra and a matching blue shirt and leggings. 

“Non-caffeine one for her and black for yeh”

Coffee? Non-caffeine? God, I may be pregnant but I still can have a little caffeine every once in a while.

“Well, she’s not here” Dex said, obviously lying. 

“Just left”

“Oh, I swear I heard her a minute ago”

“FaceTime” Dex said quickly. “Asked if I wanted a bagel”

Nice coverup, I thought as I pulled off Dex shirt and put on my bra. Maybe his lying is good for something.

“Do yeh’ know when she’ll be back? It’s like a tradition for us to do something touristy each time we meet up”

That was true. Occasionally I would take him to bars and museums.

“I doubt it man. We’re busy today” Dex said as I pulled up my leggings.

“Oh, with what?”

Give it a rest, H.

“Pick up my sister from the airport” 

We are? 

“Also we have a checkup at the doctor in an hour”

Now that part he’s lying. 

“Can yeh tell her to call me when she’s free then?”

I didn’t hear anything when I put my blue shirt. 

“Sure” I finally heard Dex say. “Thanks for the coffee again”

I waited a minute before exiting the bedroom, tip toeing to the kitchen. Dex was sitting at the kitchen table.

“He’s gone?” I asked, peeking around the kitchen.

“Yup. Took forever too” Dex commented as he ate his eggs. 

I took a seat across from him.

“I heard” I pulled my hair behind my ear. I started laughing thinking about the awkward their conversation was.

“What?” Dex asked me.“We don’t have the doctor today” I said. 

“I know that” Dex said before taking another bite. 

“Dahila is not coming right?” I asked.“Nope” Dex said with annoyance in his voice. 

“So, you lied. You know Harry will find out. That’s his speciality.”

Dex rolled his eyes.

“No, he won’t” 

“Why? Are you going to spin another one of your lies?”

“Why do you care? You wanted to get rid of him” Dex said in a harsh tone. 

“Hey! I care because every time he’s here you become different. You act different”

Dex stopped eating, putting down his fork.“I act different?” He asked, mocking me. 

“What about you?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked in confusion. 

“You know what it means. Whenever he’s here you act like nothing happened between you two”

He looked down at his plate. I crossed my arms. 

“Because nothing did happen. It’s not important” 

Dex looked up at me. 

“Well how do I know that’s it not? You never told me anything about it”

“Yes, I did!” I threw my hands in the air. “I told you everything you needed to know. Don’t you trust me?”

“No. How can I when the only thing you told me was that you two dated and that you hated him after your breakup?”

“I did hate him. That changed when I talked to him. If you don’t like him that much, why did you start hanging out with him?”

“Because at least I get some of the truth”

“Oh don’t you dare turn the table on me. You’re not so innocent too with all your lies and jealousy” I ran my hands through my hair out of frustration. “I swear anything else you do will make me happier than this” 

“Like what, honey?” Dex asked crossing his arms.

“I don’t know . . . But leaving sounds like a good idea” I muttered under my breath.

He must had heard me. He stood up from the table, looking disappointed.

“Well then . . . Send Harry my best. Enjoy your fake relationship with him” Dex started walking away. 

I got up from the table.

“Where are you going?” I asked.

Dex walked faster. He grabbed his shoes and the keys to the car. He quickly pressed the elevator button.

“Leaving. Anything where else is better than being here” He answered.

 “Dex!” I called him walking to him. 

It was too late. By the time I got to the elevator, the doors closed in front of me with Dex in it. 

“Fuck” I said. “Fuck!”

What have I done?

“He was right. They were right. All of them were. Dex. Victoria. My parents. Even Taylor Swift was right. All you do is dig a hole when you hide the truth and when the hole gets too big . . . People get hurt. Dex, being the first. To be honest, the Harry situation wasn’t completely my fault. Yeah, I may had started and might had drove Dex to be friends with Harry out of curiosity, but Dex did that. And it’s not like he’s honest with me. He practically hid the news of Harry being our neighbor. Wait . . . Where am I going with this? Oh yeah, it’s not my fault”

I sighed before speaking again.

“I have to admit, as ashamed as I am, I wasn’t really over Harry when I first dated Dex. I’m horrible, right? Getting into a relationship when you’re not fully committed? I swear I’m over him now and it’s not like I’m ever going back. This baby blocks that whole idea-“

I stopped. I exhaled loud.

“I guess I was in denial of not being over Harry. I guess I was too scared to say it to Dex in our relationship and what would happen. It would just eat him up. That’s why I stayed away from Harry or anything related to him. I couldn’t bring myself to tell Dex. Would you forgive me?” I asked, turning to Max who laid on the couch next to me. 

He raised his fluffy head to me.

“I sound stupid talking to you, don’t I?” 

In fact, I was for the past hour. What else was I supposed to do? Clean the apartment? Done that earlier. Organize my closet? Done that too.

“I wouldn’t forgive me either. I have to tell him. I need to. If not for him, for her” I said circling my bump.

“The question is how? It’s not like he’s going to believe me after our fight. He would think it’s bullshit lies”

Who can help me?; I thought to myself. Certainly not Dex’s family. They would take his side. I hadn’t talked to my family in weeks after my ‘little’ fight with my parents. Don’t ask about it. It’s a whole another thing I don’t have time to explain. I needed someone. Someone neutral. Like Victoria. She’s neutral, I think?

I picked up my phone off the living room table and dialed Victoria. No answer. Dammit. Why when I need her she never picks up? Hmm. . I have an idea. I looked at the twitter app on my screen. This is a way to get Victoria’s attention. After all, she has notifications on my tweets. I opened the app, immediately noticing the over 20 sign on my notification bell. I pressed on the tweet button instead. 

‘I have something to tell you’  I typed, tweeting it. 

I scrolled up my homepage as blue notifications appeared on the bottom. I stopped when I saw a tweet with a picture of Harry attached. I tapped on the tweet, taking a closer look.‘Harry tonight in NYC’ The tweet said.Harry. He can help me. He was the reason Dex and I started fighting. Maybe he can also end it. Besides, Dex would believe me more if Harry explained our past to him. Is he even home?I exited out of the twitter app and called Harry. At least, he answers me.

“‘Melia! I wondered if Dex told yeh to call me’h” Harry said with a somewhat excitable tone.

“Oh he did” I lied. “Are you here?”

“Yeah, yeh broke our tradition!” Harry exclaimed through the phone.

“I had other things to worry about H. I can’t be running around the city with you always” I explained.

“Figured. So . . . Where should we watch netflix tonight? Down or up?” He asked.

“Up” I said. “And it’s not Netflix”

“If you were in Dex’s place, would you really be mad?” I asked him.

I told Harry. Everything. What happened when I met Dex. Why I stayed away from him. Why I grown to hate him over the past two years.

“I can’t really speak for him“

I laid my head down on the kitchen table, my arms being a pillow for my head.This is the end, I thought. Harry, the most forgiving person I know, is struggling to forgive me. How can I expect Dex to either? I’m going to end up as a single mother. I know I said to Dex I could leave him and be one but I never imagined it would happen. I felt tears coming on. I sniffled, burying myself in my arms to hide the tears. I felt Harry’s hands caress my arms from across the table.

“Hey” Harry said calling me. “Don’t cry”

“Its no use, H” I managed to say. “Its over”

I heard the sound of a chair move and Harry’s boots tapping against the floor. I felt Harry’s hands caress down my back.

“Look at me” He said, whispering next to my ear.

“I can’t” I said, sobbing.

Suddenly, I felt my arms being pulled away from me and towards Harry. Harry tried to make me look at him. I looked down at my feet, attempting not to look at him.

“‘Melia, please” Harry begged.

“It’s . . all my . .fault” I choked out. “All”

“No, no,no” Harry said while bringing me into a hug.

 “It is” I said.

“Don’t talk like that” Harry whispered into my ear. “It’s not yeh fault”

“How can you say that? You don’t what you’re talking about”

“Its no one’s fault. Yeh can’t change what happened love”

“I could have done something” I said. “He’ll never forgive me”

“He will. I forgive yeh. Everything will be a’lright”

I sniffled, trying to hold back more tears. My breathing slowed down. Harry continued to caress my back.

“Thank you Harry” I said with sincerity.

“Yeh don’t have to apologize” Harry said.

We sat in silence, engraved in each other arms. We separated when we heard Dex enter the room. He seemed confused as to why we were hugging. 

“Mel . . Harry” Dex said, trying to process what was going on.

I stood up from the chair and ran up to hug him. Dex wrapped his arms around me, holding me in a tight hold. When we let go, Harry spoke.

“We been waiting for yeh’” Harry said.

I wiped the tears off my face with my hands.“I see. Why?” Dex looked back at me. “Were you crying?”

“Yes and over you. We need to talk”

“About what?” Dex asked looking at us both. 

I held Dex’s hands in mine.

“This morning you said you couldn’t trust me because you didn’t know the entire truth so . . .” 

My eyes looked to Harry.

“She wanted yeh to hear what happened between us” Harry said, finishing my sentence.

Dex looked hesitant. Probably wondering if he could trust the both of us. He looked at Harry before speaking up. 

“Harry you don’t have-“

“He’s not going anywhere” I cut Dex off. “I dragged him here for a reason”

“She almost handcuffed me” Harry said, of course joking.

I blushed. I knew he was trying to make me feel better after I cried. 

“For the sake of all of us, listen”

Dex was hesitant, finally accepting our offer.

“Fine” Dex said in defeat. 

I took Dex’s hand and pulled him to the table. We all sat down at the table. 

“You wanna start? Or should I?” I asked Harry.

“Ladies first” Harry answered, lightly smirking.

I turned to Dex as I started to explain.

“We met at the Brit awards. 2013. I had a performance”

“So did I” Harry added. 

“And we became friends but not close friends. Our schedules made that impossible until the year after. We hung out whenever he was in town. I was with Klaus for the most part of the year”

“Oh yeah I forgot yeh dated him”

“I didn’t date him. It was more like a fling” I corrected Harry.

 “A fling isn’t that long” Harry pointed out.

Dex crossed his arms, obviously showing annoyance over our conversation. 

“This is about us, H. Not him.” I said, clearly irritated.  

“It’s important to the timeline” Harry said. 

I turned to Dex before speaking up again. 

“Fine I ‘dated’ him. He’s out of my life, unlike this one” I said, referring to Harry.

“Aye! I’m still here” 

“I know that, captain obvious” I said, joking.

“What happened next?” Dex asked.

“We finished our tours and became really close. Not dating yet. He dated a model called Nadine and I was in a secret relationship with Tom”

“Both ended quickly” Harry indicated. 

“Just in time for your 21 birthday” I smiled. “We knew about each other’s relationship”

“It was obvious” Harry included.

“Not to everyone” I said.

“My mother knew” Harry specified.

“Close people knew. Can you stop interrupting with me?” I asked him, crossing my arms. 

“Fine then” Harry mocked me, crossing his arms as well.

“Anyways . . .we leaned on each other during the breakup and some feelings got involved. Well I started feeling something for him”

Harry looked at me. He was intrigued. Never hearing this before - because, well, I never did tell him.

“So I kept away from him. Trying to avoid the truth. I couldn’t. So I reached out back to him in the middle of his tour and . .” 

“We dated” Harry stated.

 “Wasn’t as bad I thought it was going to be”

“Hey” I said, nudging him.

We both laughed, remembering that what I said at the end of our relationship.

“I’m just kidding. It was great. I enjoyed it” Harry said, making me blush. 

“Aww, same to you. You were quite romantic in the beginning” I complimented him. 

“But you broke up?” Dex asked, interrupted our moment. “Why?”

“Let us finish first. I promise I’ll answer that after” I said.

“Go on” Dex said. 

“Then we broke up. I still wanted to be friends. He didn’t. I tried calling but of course-“

“I avoided her” Harry finished my sentence.

“I kept calling until the pictures of him and Kendall came out. Thank god, though. Finally put me out of my misery of waiting”

“This was 2016. Right?” Dex asked, concerned.

I knew what he was thinking. He was coming into the picture.

“Yeah” Harry answered. “I tried calling her after”

“It was no use” I cut him off. “I didn’t answer him. I hated him and I began to move on”

I held Dex’s hands in mine, looking into his eyes.

“That’s when I got back in touch with you. Well - the movie we worked on together made me get in touch with you” I explained.

“So that’s it?” Dex asked, unsure.

 “Yeah” Harry and I said at the same  time.

“Then Harry moved in and now we’re here” I mentioned.

“Okay . . . Why did you two break up?” Dex asked.

Harry and I looked at each other.

“Well we both had different reasons” I said.

“What was it?” Dex questioned.

I was about to speak up until Harry took that chance.

 “I put to much pressure on her” He said.

He admitted it. He never admits anything he does wrong.

 “I was being intensive with her” Harry elongated.

 “What about you?” Dex asked, turning to me.

“What he said” I agreed.

He didn’t say why he broke up with me. Doesn’t matter. Dex only needs to know my reason.

“One more question” Dex indicated.

“What?” I asked.

“Did you - did you two ever have sex?” 

 We burst out in laughter. Sex? Between us? It’s impossible. Was before and was now.

“No, no, no. We didn’t get to that serious part of the relationship” I said. 

“We almost didn’t we?” Harry asked me.

“Well we got interrupted by Victoria but thank god it didn’t happen. That would haunt me” I exaggerated. 

“So that’s it? Everything?” Dex spoke.

“Everything to me” I said. “I did have a few suspicions about Harry though”

“What? About what?” Harry asked, turning to me. He looked a bit offended. 

“About all the stunts you had over the years” I answered.

“What stunts?” Harry asked, oblivious to his past rumored relationships.

 “Paige. Then Kendall. Nadine was a bit weird” I admitted.

 “Excuse me?” Harry said, completely offended.

 “Just saying. It would explain all the Larry theories if they were” I said, shrugging while buying my bottom lip.

Harry was surprised, he even couldn’t form a sentence.

“How- how did we?”

“I’m just saying. If you were in a relationship with him, I would be completely fine. I love gay and bisexual peo-“

“Isn’t this About Dex?” Harry asked, trying to shut me up. 

“Nope, I’m done now. This has been uncomfortable” Dex said.

“You wanted to hear it before” I reminded him. 

“I wasn’t!” Harry joked.

“Oh shut up” I said, in a joking manner. 

“Ouch” Harry pretended to be hurt.

“Come on” I stood up from table. “I’ll walk you out”

Harry stood up. We walked to the elevator. He pressed the button.

“You forget to explain why you broke up with me” I pointed out as I watched the elevator floors changed on the screen on top. 

“Yeh didn’t tell Dex what yeh told me before”

“Step by step H. I’m gonna let him process today first”

The elevator dinged, signaling the elevator was here. The doors opened.

 “Yeh didn’t tell me’h how yeh felt for me’h before we-“ He stepped in the elevator.

“Dated?” I cut him off. “Not that important now. Enjoy your boyfriend Jeffery” I joked with him.

 “Oh shut up” Harry smirked at me, with the elevator door closing a second later.

Progress. . . Progress.

#harry styles fic #harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines #hs fanfiction #hs imagine #hs writing #hs imagines #guilty by m #guilty chapter 7