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sketchfanda · 6 months

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A Little Moxxie Love:Now THAT’S Comedy!!

Somedays was just another day in hell, especially in Imp City. Violence on the streets, the odd riot here or there as its denizens of imps, hellhounds, sinners and all the manner of hellborn walked to and fro going about their business. For Moxxie, his business would've been enjoying a rare bit of peace and quiet at the I.M.P office, basking in the downtime before and inbetween jobs or gigs.

But noooo, could't have that now could? Maybe even just some quality time with his lovely wife, Christ on a stick, he'd take some personal time with Loona or one of his, what was the word he was looking for? Oh right, Booty Calls. But insead of any of that, here he was in the living world, sneaking his way around a local park somewhere in Burbank, California looking for a tree house.

No not like some little cabin club house for some neighbourhood tykes, as like an actual, literal treehouse!! A very infamous one at that for you see this treehouse belonged to quite the celebrity. One our favourite little Imp Hitman had the distinct pleasure of being designated to deliver the client's revenge by proxy. As the sharply dressed, put own upon killer for hire mumbled to himself like a certain dastardly mutt, hauling a package securely in his arms, he couldn't help but reflect on how he wound up here. Thinking back to how it all started with that goddamn wolf....

~Imp City, The Pride Ring in Hell as overseen by King Lucifer Morningstar. To be precise, The Office of I.M.P (Immediate Murder Professionals, duh!!),a few moments ago~

??:"And that's why I want that damn-blasted squirrel dead!! DEAD!! YA' HEAR ME!! D,E,A,D DEAD as a doornail!! As dead as she made me!!"* Moxxie along with his ever lovely wife Millie and Blitzo's surly teen hellhound secretary and dispatcher Loona simply sat at their usual meeting room table, varying degrees of deadpan expressions on their faces as their latest potential client seemed to finally finishing his rambling tangent of ranting and raving, nonplussed as he seemed be coughing up a storm. The sinner before them was particular as he looked similar to but sure as fuck wasn't a hellhound like Loona. No this wolf was a sinner of the recently deceased variety and depending how well you knew your toon celebrities, he was a famous one.*

Loona:*shares a glance to her imp co-workers,slash friends with benefits (Don't tell Blitzo,none of his business what a grown hellhound does with her sex and love life.) before she rolls her eyes as she types at her phone.)"Right so yeah no shit Sherlock,we get that. You want this lady offed, kind of what we do here Pops..."

??:”That’s Walter Wolf to you, you punk ass whatever! Kids these days not even a mister, no it’s just pops, you’re about as worse than that squirrel!!”*The hellhound effortlessly ducked the old sinner’s cane as he once again went on another rambling tangent. Loona and the imp couple rolling their eyes as they waited for Yiddish accented codger to refocus. Yes sir, the one and only Walter Wolf, archenemy regular punch bag of Slappy Squirrel. Still holding a grudge and no doubt having wound up here because he finally bit the big one and it really came to bite him in his senile furry behind.*

Moxxie:*deciding it was time at least to try and get this conversation back on track. Particularly before the old lupine sinner caused himself to die...again. Was it possible to die twice in Hell for a sinner?* "Sir yes we get it. As Loona told you, we make it our business to go to the living world and get the likes of you their payback. So details would be nice, especially if there's any specific way you want her to die?"

Walter:*paused mid rant as he adjusted his glasses, squinting at Moxxie.* "Alright you little red skinned horned opossum, that's how you want it, you got it. I want you to take this little bundle right here and plant it somewhere in that uppity Slappy's tree in Burbank. Put it somewhere she's never gonna find it and KABOOM!! Ol' Walter Wolf finally wins one!! In your face ya uppity squirrel bitch!!"

Millie and Loona could only narrow their eyes with deadpan intent at the coughing, wheezing old wolf sinner, given the state of him implied exactly how he'd died in the first place. But hey leave it to old Walter Wolf to never learn a lesson, right? As Moxxie nervously eyed the package he now held in his hand, hearing the ticking of a clock as beneath its simple light brown wrapping paper was a bomb. Realising with little to no doubt he was going to have to go to the living world and actually try to kill Slappy Squirrel of all people!!

Moxxie:"....Oh crumbs...."*Now really given the circumstances and the magnitude of the situation he was about to find himself in? Who could blame him for being only able to respond like that? if Blitzo were here, there was no doubt he'd tell moxxie man up, stop being a little bitch and go kill the old squirrel!! It was their job!!*

~And now back to our regular feature present~

That moment of reflection made Moxxie grit his teeth and spit, if not outright hiss as he reminded himself if and when he saw that old wolf again? He'd slap the absolute shit out of him, like it wasn't bad enough he was going to try kill Slappy Squirrel? One of the few fondest moments in his otherwise abysmal childhood had been watching old Slappy cartoons from the living world with his gone far too soon saint of a mom. But of course sweet precious Millie took a moment to convince him to take up this job alone as 1. Blitzo was too busy with his usual shenanigans and 2. She felt going solo would do his confidence a world of good.

So of course he continued on, mustering up the fortitude to carry out his mission. Besides which he knew he had to make it fast enough since that stupid fucking wolf didn't tell him how long he had exactly left on the timer for this bomb!! Any further hesitation or delays and KABOOM!! but finally the sweet relief as he found himself at what had to be the tree that the squirrel called home.

It was fortunate especially for our fave little imp boi that it was dark out, made for a little stealth. Millie was onto something, doing this solo was doing wonders for his self esteem especially when he didn't have to be overly elaborate like at that summer camp trying to be in charge. Unlike that mission this would be direct and to the point, get in and plant the bomb then hightail out of there like bat out well, hell. Determined more than ever, the imp managed to pry open a window soon as he got close to the house, entering the living room so far so good, still unseen and unheard.

Now all he needed was a good place to plant the explosive package and he could haul his crimson behind out of here. But he had to be still smart enough about this, Slappy was a crafty one in her cartoons and there was no doubt age only increased that. Spying around the room as he stopped his sights upon a large pile in the corner. Bags and mountains of fan-mail and packages, no doubt too much for the squirrel to bother reading and sorting thorugh, it was perfect!!

Pleased with himself as he hummed a merry tune quietly, the red possum got to work as he dove his hands into the pile, burying the packaged TNT deep within fan-mail pile. A silent sigh of relief at a job about to be very well done, that ought to get Walter to shut up. Before he could start on making his exit, he felt his phone buzz in his pocket, fishing it out to see a text notification from Loona. It had to be legitimately serious for her to message him during a job, she'd been getting somewhat better with the dispatch details and she sure as hell wasn't sending him a sexy pic now of all times as he opened and read it.

Loona:"The stupid old fart just mentioned he set the bomb for 3 hours when he handed it to ya. If you're good to go then haul ass!!"

Moxxie checked his watch and saw the time, doing the mental math between when Walter handed him the package and the time he left for the living world and tried to find Slappy's house. He had about 2 hours, just enough time to make his escape and hopefully plenty of time before Slappy woke up or got home, assuming she was out late. Just as he was about to put his phone away, he froze like a deer in the headlights as he heard the flip and click of a switch, the living room lights snapped on. Turning to the source of the sound and knew all too well at once, he was screwed as he turned and saw Slappy Squirrel herself standing over him......in nothing but a towel as she grabbed him by the shoulders and pinned him against the wall, damn she was a strong old broad.

Moxxie:"Ooh crumbs...."*Now of course Moxxie wasn't just saying that due to being caught in the act but also well, just look at her!! Slappy had more than aged well, hell she was a figurative silver fox!! She had more curves than a freeway and a set of tits and ass that would make Minerva Mink green with envy. Her deadpan blue eyes twinkling no doubt with twinkling with thoughts of how much she was going to make him suffer.*

Slappy:*eyeing the imp as she began to speak up in that grizzled ol' new yorker like accent of hers.* "Ya know, I'll give ya points on the breaking and entering there slick, ain't often I had stalkers sneak into my place and almost not get caught. Would've maybe gotten away with it if I hadn't seen you outside my bedroom window right when I was I was finished hitting the showers. Real ballsy I'll give ya that...."*Moxxie gulped nervously as he awaited whatever toon type mayhem was about to befall him. Slappy was a mistress in the art of comedy-fu after all. It didn't help he was feeling rather turned on seeing her up close like this.*

Moxxie:"Now Ms.Squirrel, or uhm..sorry you've never married, have you? Not to be rude but I explain..."*The Imp paused as he noticed Slappy's eyes narrowed into a seductive gaze. A grin to match forming that sexy furry face of hers, causing him to see she was looking down at his crotch. Oh just terrific, Slappy Squirrel now no doubt thought he was some creepy looney pervert stalker. There was no doubt going to be a mallet in his future for sure when she suddenly spoke up, getting his attention.*

Slappy:"Well now far as sneaky fans go, you're definitely a looker...and really packing it. So I'll give you a pass, hot stuff if you do Lil' Ol' me a favour. It's been way too damn long since I got any and looks to me like you know how to help a lady scratch her itch."*Moxxie had a feeling he knew exactly what Slappy was going on about but there was no way this was happening, right?" Blinking as Slappy unpinned him and let him down, cluthching her towel as she walked with the sort of sway to her backside. Her hips giving off a hypnotic vibe that practically yelled for his attention before the silver fox or rather squirrel turned around. Looing at him with sensual mischief as she made a little come over gesture, finger wagging as she made it clear she wanted him to follow. The imp naturally obliging her of course as they made their way upstairs.*

Moxxie of course was interally freaking out and who could blame him? Okay on the one hand Slappy Squirrel wanted to get laid with him BUT on the other hand he had less than 2 hours and counting before the bomb went off!! If he wanted to get out still alive and breathing then this would take all his prowess and experience he could muster. Bring the A game as they would say because someone of Slappy's age and all clearly got around and anything less would not bode well for our Imp boi.

So there Moxxie now sat on the mattress of Slappy's bed, shirtless and his pants remaining on for now as the fine wine aged squirrel stood before him. That mischievous erotic minx grin on her face as she proceeded to flash him, dropping her towel as she stood before him in all her naked glory. Oh yeah this silver fox of a squirrel hadn't merely aged gracefully, if anything she'd gotten better with age. As she walked up to him, leaning in a way that made those luscious furry boobs of hers jiggle as she took his hands and made him touch them.

Moxxie:"Ooh crumbs..."*Now really could you blame the little guy? Less than 2 hours passing by every second yet here he was with a naked Slappy Squirrel. Her body language just screaming she was down to fuck, her odor a scent of acorns and the indication of her recent aforementioned shower. There was no doubt this toon hit her peak at puberty and never left since and only gotten truly better with age. Unable to look away as she struck a few seductive pin-up poses, showing off and displaying her stunning assets.*

Slappy:"What do you think Little Man? All natural unlike some bimbos I can think to name? No need for all that gentle love making crud, go on ad give them a nice squeeze."*The sensual cougar of a squirrel playfully goaded, shuddering as she sensually bit her lip in response to Moxxie obliging her.* "Mmm damn good hands there...guessing I ain't the first set of tits you played with...then again, what gal wouldn't want that, right?"*She teased coyly as she reached down to caress his crotch, the material of his pants stiff and swollen with his length and girth. Licking her lips as she decided to get a more direct look at the goods she was going to be playing with. Unzipping his fly and pulling down the waistband, boxers and all when her prize sprung out like a jack in the box.*"........Jesus, Mary and goddamn Joseph, where you been all my life, Little Man?"

Moxxie:*blushed as he smiled cutely and modestly, unable to help himself from massaging and playing with Slappy's furry boobs.* "Uhm something like the south...the very deep south."*It wasn't quite a lie, after all Hell was a deep south as you could get. Before he shuddered as Slappy grasped and began to stroke his cock, firmly and steady as she pressed her lips to his. Feeling her tongue shove its way with a thirst on par with honeymoon night with Millie.*

Slappy:*broke the sloppy kiss for air, stray strands of saliva connecting as she panted with desire, hugging Moxxie's face as she pressed it deep against the valley of her grey furred titties. Still beating his meat as she felt Moxxie purr against how warm she felt, her blue eyes gazing at him with a skyrocketing lust.*"Well Little Man from deep down south, I want you to take this damn cock and fuck me into a sexual coma. Fuck me 'til it feels like your dick falls off or I literally die of orgasm. Can you do that for me, Little Man? You want to fuck me so bad I might look like I'd be carrying your kids?"* The sly erotic squirrel grinned with delight as Moxxie gave her his answer in the best possible way. Squeezing and suckling on her boobs, showing he wasn't just experienced with women but not stranger to handling a furry woman either.*

Naturally Slappy was only more than fine to let out deepthroated gasps and moans as she began making out with the imp with a thirst and passion that put horny, hormone addled teenagers to shame. Their lips and tongues dancing together with sloppy desire as they fell on the bed together rolling a tangle of limbs. Silvery grey fur pressed and rubbing against crimson red skin before Slappy found found herself laying atop the imp in a 69 position. Planting her furred booty his face as her bushy tail wagged sensually in satisfaction as grasped and stroked his cock once more.

The silver fox of a squirrel breathed in deep the raw masculine scent radiating off of that dick as she began to plant kisses and licks upon it, spine tingling from the tip of her tail right along her nerves to her brain. Her arousal skyrocketing as she felt Moxxie’s hands grabbing her ass with firm squeezes as she found him eating her out, a very skilled and long tongue probing aw at her slit. This served to further fuel Slappy’s desire as she proceeded to return the favour, taking the length and girth of the imp’s dick and displayed her wealth of sexual experience with stunning fellatio. Deepthroating him in ways that would put even the most skilled porn star to shame before she levelled up the pleasure by sandwiching his shaft between her tits.

Slappy:*grinning sensually as she shot a look over her shoulder at the imp, as she rode on his face. Squeezing his head between her thighs as she stroked and jerked him off with a furry titfuck on his drool soaked dick.* “Mmhm, you’re not making too bad a first impression little man, I’ve made horses and bulls blow their load just from a handjob. Now I’m really looking forward to the min event. Remember, don’t do gentle, I want to fucking rut…” *She further emphasised her point as she locked her mouth back onto that dick. Licking and sucking what wasn’t covered by her big furry melons.*

Moxxie was well aware how intense and rough Slappy wanted it, unknown to most but a few select fans was that Slappy had a very active sex life. Some rumours went about that she’d done some porn here and there, even still today she held a high rank as the most searched GMILF/GILF around. Plus the fact he still had a bomb to worry about only reminded him this wasn’t just sex for surviving the wrath of Slappy, it was to fuck for his life!! As he smacked Slappy’s ass like a bingo drum, making the cougar of a squirrel moan as he continued to display his own oral skills, getting her nice and wet.

As soon as the moment to proceed past foreplay presented itself of course, our fave possum wasted no time in seizing the moment to rock Slappy’s world. And oooh was she finding it rocked Damn good as Slappy rode him cowgirl style, moaning deeply and lewdly with little to no shame. Her furry tits bouncing hypnotically as the Imp’s hands were squeezing her furry booths and sensually rubbing her swaying tail. That absolute unit of a dick of his hammering away as the squirrel saw a rising and falling bump indicating how deep his length and girth was hitting her.

It was enough to make Slappy wish she was a few decades younger just so this stud really could put a baby in her but all the same, he really knew how to make a woman feel horny. The silver squirrel relishing any and every moment he would cum inside her as they went through a variety of positions. A minute man he was not, no wham bam thank you ma’am here as even took it anal and oral, especially loving when he’d fuck her face as if her mouth and throat were an onahole. It was like he was fucking her as if his life depended on it which unknown to her, it literally was!!

Eventually after what felt an eternity, Moxxie checked his watch to see he had between 5 to minutes remaining on the bomb. Hips blurring as he was taking Slappy doggy style, the intensity and pace so bliss numbing that Slappy couldn’t help but fall into a prone bone position. Ass jiggling as her eyes glowed with pink hearts showing how pleasure overboard her brain was, her face a very rare expressions of fucked silly no fan had likely ever seen on her eben in her porn career. Before she felt the sweet embrace of unconsciousness take her as she came together with the imp one final time, sleep taking her as she basked in the afterglow.

Slappy:*mumbled into her pillow as Moxxie scrambled to make his escape, cock withdrawn from her slit as he rushed to grab and gather up his clothes.* “Daaaamn little man, if I was to die right now? I’d have no regrets…Fucking, A…”*So out of it that she hadn’t realised anything amiss or notice Moxxie jump right through her window. The imp running far away fast as he could, calling Millie or Loona to open up a portal back to Imp City. Just in time as the timer hit Zero, Slappy’s treehouse going up in a flaming mushroom cloud implosion.*

Over the next few days, The living world headlines were running amuck with the news of the sudden and shocking passing of Slappy Squirrel, most chalking it up to a possible gas leak at the least or a hit from one of her enemies. Down in hell, to be precise IMP’s office in Imp city, Moxxie, Millie and Loona were enjoying a rare bit of peace and quiet. The former Especially needed it given he was coping with having survived getting caught in the crossfire or the fact he up and actually offed Slappy Squirrel thatnis after he boned her. When suddenly the phone rang as the hellhound picked it up to answer.

Loona:”I.M.P, who do you want dead and why? Make it quick while I actually try to give a fuck…”*Speaking in her usual aloof blunt manner, humming as whoever was on the other end seemed to do something rare. Actually holding her attention and curiosity as she seemed intrigued.*”Ah-huh…mhmm…you don’t say…hang on…” *Moxxie and Millie seemed puzzled as Loona was grinning, giving the latter a knowing look as she set the phone to speaker. A familiar New Yorker accented husky voice speaking up.*

Slappy:”Hey there little man…..”*Moxxie widened his eyes in shock and panic. Why oh crumbs of course the squirrel wound up and no doubt wanted one thing…revenge!!*” Eeh now don’t worry I ain’t mad at you, You were doing a job besides which, I found ol’ Walter and tore him a new one. That’s what he gets for thinking he got the last laugh. Now how’s about you being that cute little Red Devil booty of yours over here and make my afterlife erotic? See you soon handsome…”*Moxxie had the most adorable dumbstruck expression on his face as the sinner squirrel hung up. Before he felt his phone vibrate, fishing it out to find she’d sent him her address…in the lust circle along with a picture of her naked and posing seductively. Millie and Loona looking over his shoulder, quite impressed.*

Millie:0w0”Hey Moxxie can I come along? I want to have a taste of that silver squirrel myself….”

Moxxie:”ooooh crumbs…”

#sketchfan #sketchfanda #sketchfan85 #helluva boss #moxxie #moxxie smut #moxxie helluva boss #millie helluva boss #helluva loona #loona helluva boss #helluva millie #helluva moxxie #slappy squirrel #animaniacs #walter wolf #joelasko

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pinkhorsepro123 · 5 months

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So, I just recently watched the 4 episodes of Hazbin Hotel, and MAN IVE GOT SO MUCH TO SAY

Spoilers underneath the read more!

I will be critical of some things, as a writer it's kind of in my blood to be lol.

But I want to first say, it was WELL WORTH THE WAIT. I usually don't like these type of adult shows, yet I still loved watching it, and am having trouble not rewatching it already lol.

I'm going to go over my few criticisms first before I go over the, many positives. (Not all of them, I'll be here writing this all night lol

My main problem is the fact that those who watch it without knowledge of the Pilot will be quite confused. I feel like, they should've either remade it or even put it on there as the first episode.

Also, at first I found the musical bits to be embarrassing, but at the same time they're perfect. If it didn't have them, I don't think it would be Hazbin Hotel.

Katie Killjoy, her voice is not, right- I understand though if that's the only time we'll hear from her. If not though, definitely needs a new one. The only other voice I despise is Val's, it might be because I love how ParanoidDJ does him. It just, doesn't scream the pimp to me. The rest, even if at first I found it meh, as time went on I grew to love them. (Nothing against the voice actors of course! Just doesn't fit the characters)

For EP 4, my only complaint is that there should've been a content warning before it. Even just saying that there's triggering topics ahead would've sufficed. Although those who know Hazbin Hotel knew what Angel was going through, there will be a few that join without knowing that, only to stumble upon a real fucked up situation they weren't prepared for.

On the situation, I didn't know of the leak I've seen people mention, but istg if I see one more saying it was abuse being sexualized-

It was the purest form of abuse, rape, addiction and sex trafficking, uncensored forcefulness. Angel Dust is a bdsm porn actress who is owned by his pimp. Obviously he's going to have shit done to him, and a lot of it is stuff he's high as a kite while doing.

How the fuck is that sexy? It's one, a song about being fed "poison", shows just enough that you know what's happening but doesn't show more, and in the end he's having a meltdown wishing for help. If it had full sex scenes I could understand that line of thinking, but it doesn't. So yeah, I don't understand it.

Ok tangent is done-

That's pretty much all of my complaints, now for the positives!

The 1st episode finally fixed the major plot point in the pilot, being the angels themselves. It wasn't explained why the angels themselves kill sinners, and the whole just why it's considered overcrowded despite not seeming bursting at the seams (especially considering all the dead bodies around-). The story makes a lot more sense too, the background of why Lucifer and Lilith are the way they are.

Adam, is fucking hilarious. Like seriously, if you can make that kind of character funny you're doing something right. Charlie is perfect, they did a really good job at making her not too innocent. Vaggie and Charlie's relationship is amazing, the fact that they're equals and all.

Angel Dust, they did a pretty good job on showing how good his mask is, yet showing the small cracks every episode. Husker's voice, I was unsure about it at first but by the 2nd episode I loved it. Alastor, perfect. The fact he's so powerful yet still wants recognition is great in showing he is human.

The three V's time!

Vox, well disregarding personal hc's for him, he is GREAT. His personality is funny, and makes so much sense, his voice actor is great, his design mwah, what else can I say?

Velvette, I fucking LOVE HER. Her accent, new design, personality, amazing! There was so little content for her I always wondered what was going to happen. Now, I can say with confidence they did her well.

Other than his voice, Val is done really well. His act in front of Charlie is perfect, and the fact that he seems to love pushing others buttons for entertainment (as shown by Vox) makes so much sense. His narcissism and abusive nature is on point.

The Overlord meeting was really cool. The characters, the way they interact, their designs and voices, love them. Alastor just being on the side is hilarious too.

As a multi shipper, I love both RadioDust and HuskerDust(and many more, basically if the ship is healthy and cute I'll probably like it) ... So I can safely say THAT DUET WAS FUCKING AMAZING-

It's so them too, the fact Husker is horrible at comforting others but still manages to, Angel at first being suspicious, only to slowly let down his walls and join in.

Charlie at Angel's place, I never expected honestly. I didn't know how I expected it to happen, but not in the studio-

Their relationship is really pure considering everything, and it's nice to see.

I think that's, about all I have for my critiques and compliments, well as much as I can give before I explode-

There's only a few things I'm gonna be disappointed if they don't talk about in the series, the main thing is how Charlie is trying to "redeem" Angel Dust by getting him off drugs, completely incorrectly-

I hope it'll be talked about- and finally, I hope Vark is going to be a thing still, the little guy was so coot.

Even if he looks completely different I'm just fine with that. He's a shark pet! What more could you want lol

Ok My head hurts I've stared at this screen for much too long.

Thanks for coming to my Ted talk

#not dsaf’s #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel spoilers #ramble #critique #omg I'm so happy I watched it #there's flaws but that's what makes me love it all the more

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quidfree · 1 year

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who do you think is mischaracterized the most in the bnha fandom?

the bigger the franchise the bigger the fandom the bigger the range of interpretations, so everyone gets a good deal. probably i’d say golden trio are the worst offenders bc theyre the biggest characters so the most people care about them.

as to who is the ultimate winner… hmm. there’s a lot of nice/mean/deadpan going on with the trio.

izuku i think can get woobified/edgified to the nth degree, when in fact he should be a nice mix of genuinely shonen good guy empathy bleeder and unhinged self-sacrificial relentless weirdo. like izuku is so fucking strange really. when you think about it. but in the most 😀 im just a little guy 😀 way. no he should be bawling while beating someone into pulp and destroying his bones in the process. he still called his middle school tormentor kacchan 😃 like he is… very fun. deeply sincere despite it all (even in his grimdark era).

shouto gets made sooo boring sometimes, and not just when people reduce him to being this type of anime guy -> 😐. shouto is also deeply charmingly weird. hes deeply Noble and kind and good and all the sort of disney prince traits but hes also an angry antiestablishment teenager but hes also an awkward kid but hes also bluntly funny. i think of all of them hes maybe the hardest to get right tho so i have some sympathy for the way he often gets boiled down to only some of the traits, esp bc they get played for comedy. what does grate me is when people start taking the comedic bits as his entire real personality. and ignore how seriously fucked his upbringing has been in favour of other peoples angst.

maybe katsuki takes the win tho. like obviously. people love to either dumb him down to the extreme FUCK OFF IM ANGRY AND AN ASSHOLE or go in the other direction so he's actually a sensitive, kind soul who loves to a) blush b) talk about feelings c) raise children or something idk. and then theres the sadboi version. and the edgelord. there are bakugou haters and bakugou ride or dies. all of these takes are boring and wrong, and actually in a rare twist canon is 100% (...ish) good and true when it comes to him. he contains multitudes and they're all, like, on page. im not even going to go through them horikoshi does this very plainly for us.

actually scratch that you know who gets mischaracterised the most? endeavor. yeah that's right it's been too long since i went on one of these tangents. idc that canon has directly caused this with enji’s storyline i legitimately think that choice was a mistake and i dislike that every popular media has to have its villains explained or redeemed now. canon can do as it wills but there are some things that i just don’t want to move past. hes not a grouchy dilf who's earned forgiveness he was a grown ass man married with kids treating every member of his family like dirt for years. i do not care that he started wising up in canon his youngest child is like 16 by then it took him what TWENTY YEARS to get a grip? this man was so caught up in his ego about being number 2 he married a woman to breed a rightful heir, fully neglected the two kids he considered unworthy of that role, isolated the other two to push training on them from infancy, coped terribly with the mental strain this was putting on them, and didn’t think to reconsider his choices when a) one of them lost it and vanished into the void b) his wife snapped and disfigured the youngest, etc etc etc. i will not stand for the ret-conning this man is a loser.

#qui parle #qui repond #anon #bnha #mha #katsuki bakugou #shouto todoroki #izuku midoriya #todoroki family melodrama #only the hottest of takes here at quidfree.tumblr.com #such as: maybe abusive parents.. are not good people

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dream-a-little-bigger-x · 8 months

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Begin Again: Chapter Four | Spencer Reid

Add yourself to my taglist! | Here’s my masterlist!

Chapter Four: Swimming Pool Kisses

<< Chapter Three

Pairing: Spencer Reid x OC!Charlotte Morris

Warnings: talk about murder, kissing, making out

Author's note: I don't know if I like it, but hey, it's here. Based off things that have actually happened to me.

Words: 2.6K

“I-It… I dated him, right after high school,” Charlotte started, her eyes nervously flitting towards Spencer. “I-It was just a couple of months and I didn’t see him after that. I-I–” she stuttered and stumbled, barely making proper sentences.

“Charlotte–” Morgan cut her off, which was when she realized every single one of them was staring at her.

“What?” she asked, chuckling nervously.

Hotch’s brows raised. “Name, please, Charlotte.”

Charlotte’s eyes flitted towards Spencer and back to the big boss, nervous to tell them. Nervous to tell him. “Uhm, Bradley Logan…” she mumbled, fidgeting with her Las Vegas bracelet, her eyes focused on the charms.

“You dated Bradley Logan?!” Spencer asked in disbelief as her eyes slowly moved up to his face. “You actually dated the guy that used to bully me in High School?”

She felt tears prick in her eyes. “Yeah, it was dumb. I-I was dumb. We had just graduated and it was summer and it was hot and I was experimenting and one night, at a party, Brad was there and one thing led to another and we hooked up. We kept hooking up and nights together turned into days together, right up until the summer was over and I moved to New York to study but then my scholarship fell through and I had to fend for myself, having me end up in Hartford, Connecticut, working as a maid in a hotel and–” She stopped herself when everyone was staring at her with that look in their eyes that told her she had lost them. “Thing is, when I broke up with him – I-I didn’t really? I just packed up and left, and I suppose he’s still a bit… bitter about that?”

“A bit bitter?” Emily scoffed.

During her rambling, Penelope had been typing away on her computer. It took a few seconds before Hotch turned to the blonde and with one simple, “Garcia?”, it got the technical analyst started on her tangent.

“Bradley Logan, born and raised in Las Vegas. Has some DUI’s on his name as well as one count of domestic violence. According to his socials, he has been dating around and let me tell you, if you put these lovely ladies in front of you, Charlotte, you’d think you’re looking in a mirror,” Penelope looked over at the hotel’s manager. “His last girlfriend – excuse me, fiancée – broke it off just a few weeks ago. They were set to marry but then she cheated on him and that whole thing went bust.”

“That could be the stressor,” Rossi pointed out.

Hotch nodded his head. “His fiancée, she was a blonde with green eyes, too, I guess?”

“Ding! Ding! Ding!” Penelope imitated a bell. “All of his girlfriends were perfect copy-pastes of our lovely Charlotte. Guess someone has a type.”

JJ chuckled. “Or a weird obsession.”

“How long were they together?” Derek asked his coworker.

“Three years,” she replied.

The young man nodded his head. “So, he gets cheated on, gets reminded of his sordid breakup with Charlotte and wants to take revenge for being the first woman breaking his heart by killing people in her place of work,” he theorized before nudging Spencer. “What are you thinking, Genius?”

“Yeah, yeah. Sounds good,” Spencer replied absentmindedly. When he looked up at the blonde next to him. “I can’t believe you dated Bradley Logan…” he mumbled, shaking his head.

“Yeah,” Charlotte sighed. “I wasn’t – I wasn’t right in the head back then.”

“He does fit the profile,” Emily muttered, breaking up the conversation between the old pals.

Looking back up at the technical analyst, Hotch nodded. “Where is he now, Garcia?”

Before she could answer, the curly-headed Latina burst into the meeting room, completely out of breath and her face white as a ghost. The scene caused Charlotte to perk up, worry seeping within her.

“Val? What’s wrong?” she asked.

“It’s Room 304… There’s someone in there…” The words came out into a whisper, but it was loud enough for everyone to hear and exchange worried glances.

The team quickly slid their chairs back and got themselves ready, donning their bulletproof vests. Charlotte was frozen, staring at them in pure horror. She didn’t know what to do. Everyone was moving, all of them in a rush. For once, she actually felt the way her parents took her for; useless.

Everything went by in a flash. One second, they were in the meeting room, and the next the team burst into Room 304 and apprehending Bradley Logan. The look he gave her when Spencer pushed him through the lobby with his hands cuffed behind his back sent shivers down her spine. She hadn’t seen Brad in fifteen years and suddenly he was murdering guys to get her attention.

Her eyes didn’t stay on her ex too long as they drifted to the man walking behind him. If she thought he was attractive before, his attractiveness had doubled by the way he moved and held Bradley in place to escort him out.

“Fuck, that’s hot,” she muttered under her breath.

“I know,” Val sighed. “And I’m not even attracted to men.”

Charlotte chuckled before heading out the door and meeting the BAU team outside. They had just put Bradley into the cop car, ready to jet off to jail. Smiling half-heartedly, Charlotte joined by Emily’s side.

“I wanted to say thank you for dealing with this so swiftly,” she started with a sigh. “Why don’t you stay another night and allow me to make you guys a good meal… To thank you…”

A smile landed on Hotch’s lips, a rarity for him, she had noticed, before he nodded his head. “Yeah, that sounds nice, actually,” he said. “Thank you, Charlotte.”

“Cool. I’ll see you guys tonight in the ballroom at seven.” She snapped her fingers, almost doing finger guns, but stopping herself just in time so as to not embarrass herself.

The team nodded their heads, all of them smiling thankfully as they watched her walk back inside. Charlotte felt a little weird after everything had gone down. On one hand, she felt as though she needed to stay strong so she could open the hotel again as soon as possible while on the other hand, she wanted to curl up into a ball and cry.

“Hey,” the familiar voice of Spencer Reid caught her attention. Charlotte turned around to face him. “You all right?”

She offered him a tearful smile. “I-I’m fine, Spencer. Thanks.”

Before she could turn away from him, he grabbed her shaking hands and held them. Simple as that. He just held her hands to stop them from shaking and it almost felt as though he was holding her together.

“It’s perfectly normal — and even healthy — to start shaking or trembling immediately following a traumatic event,” he muttered. “It’s how the body releases or discharges the extra defensive energy that gets “stuck” in the body during a traumatic event.”

Furrowing her brows, Charlotte looked up at Spencer. “Why are you citing facts to me?” she chuckled.

Spencer opened his mouth, but closed it again when he didn’t find the right words. It resulted in a few weird sounds coming out before actual words tumbled out. “I-It’s something that I do. People-Some people find it incredibly annoying, so I’m sorry to–”

“No, it’s fine. I like that.”

A smile befell his lips as he looked into her green eyes. His thumb grazed the little Las Vegas charms on her bracelet. He gazed down to the piece of jewelry and turned her wrist upwards and played around with the little charm of the Las Vegas skyline.

“What’s this?” he asked.

“Just something to remind me of where I’m from,” she replied with a shrug and shook her hands out of his grip. “I have to go and clean up the meeting room, so I-I’ll see you tonight at dinner, yeah?”

As Charlotte stepped away from him, Spencer simultaneously took a step, too. “I’ll come and help.”

There wasn’t much Charlotte could do but let him help her. At first, they moved around the meeting room in silence. They slinked around each other, apologies flying through the air as they nearly bumped into each other. It wasn’t until a few minutes in that Charlotte broke the silence.

“I read your dissertation, you know,” she told him, which caught his attention. A chuckle rolled off her lips when she noticed his surprised expression. “I read everything you wrote or were mentioned in. Reading about what you had been up to kept me a little connected to Las Vegas while I wasn’t doing too good.”

Spencer tried to bite back his smile. “Oh,” he said, a weird sense of pride bubbling up inside of him.

He didn’t quite know what to say to that. His brilliant brain short-circuited. All this time, while he was obsessing about her and remembering her almost daily, she was thinking about him all the same.

“Yeah,” she whispered, almost cursing at herself for getting so open and vulnerable with him. There was so much more she wanted to tell him, but she didn’t know how or if it was even the right thing to say. All she knew was that she felt at ease with him. She felt stronger, more confident, just like she did that day when she stood up for him. “Well, anyway. I’m gonna go chain Thomas to the kitchen tiles so he can make us the best dinner of all time,” she then said and walked out of the meeting room, leaving Spencer alone.

For a while, he just stood there and watched the doorway she had disappeared from. His heart was full and happy, even after what had transpired with his high school bully and his high school crush. She was being honest and open with him, something he never thought could even happen.

“Welcome to your very own, super-mega-deluxe Hartford Hotel dinner,” Charlotte announced ceremonially as she opened the double doors to the ballroom. Together with Thomas, Yanisha and Valencia, she had decked out the space with one big round table in the middle, set with their finest dishes and lit by every single candle the hotel owned.

“Courtesy of Tommy, Nisha, Val and Lottie,” Val added with a smirk.

All of them had dressed up, too. They had turned their thank-you-supper into a fancy dress meal, which Charlotte absolutely loved. She loved how they had put in the effort, no matter how little sleep they had gotten over the past few days.

“This is amazing, Lottie,” Penelope gasped, too occupied by the sight in front of her, she didn’t even notice the nickname had slipped out. Charlotte had noticed and she felt a little flutter in her stomach.

“Let’s start with a toast,” she then said as they took a seat and reached for the glass of champagne Yanisha had filled up for all of them. “To the best BAU team to ever exist and to catching yet another bad guy.”

“And to Charlotte and her team,” Hotch quickly added, raising his glass, too. “For hosting us during the case and for hosting us tonight.”

A chorus of “cheers” echoed through the ballroom, the starting signal for their delicious meal, prepared by the best chef in all of Hartford. He had made two different dishes, one vegetarian, one with meat. Just to be sure and so people could choose which one they wanted.

It turned out to be the best way to finish up a case. With conversation flowing as smoothly as the wine. By the time they’d had their dessert, everyone was already pretty drunk and the volume of the music had been turned all the way up.

At one point, Penelope, Val and Charlotte had gotten up on the small stage at the back of the room with Before He Cheats by Carrie Underwood blaring through the speakers, the girls singing along loudly and rather off-key.

It made for great entertainment, though.

“D’you know what would be great right now?” Val sighed and Charlotte knew immediately what she was going to say. “A dip in the pool.”

Charlotte pressed her lips together to keep herself from smiling. This had happened before. More than once. She almost said no to her best friend until JJ and Emily agreed to the Latina’s sentiment.

“Oh my God,” JJ all but groaned. “That would be so good!”

Rolling her eyes, Charlotte moved to the bar and reached for the key she had left behind. “Fine – follow me!” she said overly excited and guided the overly excited and confused agents down to the basement where the hotel’s spa was located.

“Holy shit,” Emily chuckled as she took in the sight before her.

The blue light of the swimming pool reflected on the ceiling in rippling waves. There were a couple of saunas, a jacuzzi and some deckchairs around for the ultimate relaxation of the guests. Charlotte was pretty proud of the spa. It was something you didn’t find very often in the hotels in Hartford.

“I didn’t bring my bathing suit, though,” JJ told them.

Chuckling, Charlotte untied the knot in her wrap-dress and let the fabric fall off her shoulders, leaving her in her underwear. Valencia, Yanisha and Thomas were stripping too, something they had done many a time before. “Neither do we. Come on, it’s fine! We’ve done this so many times before.”

As Charlotte went to get the towels and bathrobes for everyone in her underwear, she didn’t catch Spencer’s baffled expression. It was only when she returned and found everyone in their underwear jumping in the swimming pool but him that she let out a chuckle.

“Close your mouth, genius. You’ll catch a fly.” She patted his cheek with her free hand before dropping the towels on one of the lounging chairs. Once she had both hands free, she turned towards him and loosened his tie. “Come on,” she whispered. “Join in on the fun.”

It didn’t take a lot of convincing for Spencer to join all of them in the pool. At first, the group participated in their usual pool games, like taking turns in Morgan’s or Thomas’ neck to push one another off or a competition to see who could hold a handstand the longest. A heap of teenagers in adult bodies.

But then the group started to divide. Some of them went into the jacuzzi, others decided to try the saunas. Only Spencer and Charlotte stuck to a corner of the pool, wrapped up in pleasant conversation about Las Vegas and their life.

“I used to have the biggest crush on you after you saved me,” Spencer admitted sheepishly.

Charlotte let out a charmed laugh at the confession. “You did?” She ran her fingers through his wet hair, pushing it out of his face. The movement and the closeness of the woman caused Spencer to falter.

His hazel eyes flicked from her green orbs to her pink lips and back. “Yeah. I think I still do, actually.” It came out in a mumble as though his lips couldn’t handle anything more.

“Good,” Charlotte whispered, her eyes falling back to his lips whilst hers curled up into a smirk.

“Yeah?”

“Very good, even.”

And without any warning, Charlotte diminished the distance between them and kissed him. Startled, Spencer quickly recomposed himself and placed his hands on the sides of her face, holding her in place or needing something to hold onto for his own sanity. He was quick to deepen the kiss, slipping his tongue across her lips.

All of it felt so right.

This was where they were supposed to be.

Everything taglist: @calamitykaty @n0wornever @wanniiieeee @unnowhatthisistbh

Criminal Minds Taglist:

@boimlers-gonna-boim @samsbirks @tinaasthings @dysphoricsanity @love4lando @elenamoncada-ibarra @r-3dlips @magstheslayer @astess @sylvcaplath @tillypettitt @mordechaisworld @ssameadows @spikedhe4rt @spencers-bookworm @littlemissaddict @kirbybean

#spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x oc!charlotte morris #spencer reid x fem!oc

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lollytea · 7 months

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20 Questions for Fic Writers

Mar tagged me in this. Thank you Mar <333

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

358,837

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Owls....for now and the foreseeable future. Other things in the past but....owls. Owls and nothing else.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

There's Sunshine in Your Smile

Atlas and the Avid Reader

A Little Change

An Exercise in Understanding

Girl Talk

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I don't, I'm sorry!! When I first started posting on ao3, I answered every comment I got, but as more came in, I realized I was running out of ways to respond and it felt like I was just copy and pasting "thank you so much omg!!!" again and again and it felt awkward and disingenuous. (I meant it tho!! I did!!)

Also I never have any idea how to respond to long essay type comments that were picking the fic apart and highlighting everything they like about it. I ADORE those comments!!! They make me happier than anything else on earth but HOW can I respond to them?? A one liner thanks feels cheap and meaningless, but a long ramble about my own stuff feels arrogant.

So I just stopped replying to comments altogether. But listen please listen!!! I do read them!!! I read every single one of them and I love and appreciate them with all my heart!!! Thank you so so SO much to anybody who's ever left a comment on anything I've written!!!

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't really write angsty endings. I guess atlas and pages both ended on a bit of a bittersweet note? Maybe.

That one ducktales fic Fearless left off on a kinda angsty cliffhanger, only because I never finished it. So it's technically an ending

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Man I dunno most of them are kinda open ended (or unfinished) I suppose A Little Change ended on a sickeningly sweet note. Like disgustingly sweet (because I was 19 and stupid and had no concept of subtlety) Penniless Promises ended with a marriage proposal.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No the only hate comment I've ever gotten is this one

It kinda annoys me. I consider your first hate comment to be a special milestone in your fanfic writing history. I've been waiting years for this. And then I FINALLY get it but I have no fucking idea what it means.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I've written bits and pieces over the years but I don't post any of it. I think the last "smut" I posted was weird werewolf knotting shit in like 2017

What kind? Fuckin uhhhhh. It's always very fluffy. Usually there's nothing weird going on. Sometimes there's monsters involved but the monsters are usually massive sweethearts who just want love.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yes. A few times. And it's always fucking wattpad. At one point, somebody put my fic through Google translate and reposted it in Spanish. I would have been completely unaware if somebody hadn't messaged me about it.

The process of getting them to take it down was a fucking circus. Their ability to use Google translate suddenly vanished the moment I contacted them.

I reported it and had to go back and forth with Wattpad support because the fic was IN SPANISH, so they just kinda glanced at it and were like "This is not the same thing that you wrote. These are different words. Spanish words." I was losing my MIND!!!!!!

They took it down eventually. Anyway...sorry I went on a tangent, I just think this is a funny story. Moral of the story is there are probably several stolen fics on wattpad and run through translators, and we have no idea. There might be more of mine on there but honestly I do not have the energy to be monitoring the stupid site. I hate wattpad so much its unreal.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

As we have just learned from the above story, yes :D!!

But also yeah, some people asked permission to translate my stuff and post it with credit. Sunshine has been translated into Spanish and Ukrainian!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No I can barely manage to write them myself

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Undocumented Events of March 23rd. I might update it at some point in the next five years. But I had so many chapters planned that it will probably never reach the ending at the pace I'm going with it. But I love the jungle book husbands. I get back to them at some point in time

16. What are your writing strengths?

Word disease is the worst fucking thing ever but it CAN be a good thing in some circumstances. A huge meaty chunk of a fic. Something to dig into. Having a lot to say can lead to a lot to write. And the more you write, the more likely you'll get some quality stuff in there.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I repeat. Word disease is the worst fucking thing ever. And when it's coupled with a complexity addiction, UGGH!!! It's a blight on my life. I can't just write a simple straightforward fic, without getting carried away and the ideas just get bigger and bigger. Suddenly I'm implementing more elaborate concepts, scenes that need to be handled delicately. Everything takes absolutely all of my brainpower because I'm a neurotic overthinker who can never just RELAX and write something fun. And I WANT all of it. I want to execute all the plans that exist in my head but then I get overwhelmed by how big and complicated everything has gotten and I get burned out. Which is why things so rarely get done.

I'm a perfectionist. A horrible terrible one. I struggle to write ANYTHING without carefully constructing every individual line of it. Which makes progress so slow and tedious. I get scared to even START fics because I'm afraid I'll make myself feel awful again if they don't turn out good.

My grammar is very imperfect but I'm working on that.

I can be very unnecessarily wordy and take forever to get to the point. I've reread my own stuff and even I have difficulty following it because the sentences just have so many bells and whistles for no good reason. I completely forget a huge chunk of vocab and don't realize they are simpler way to phrase things.

My attempts at executing believable emotional scenes often fall kinda flat. Writing drama is hard but I'm amazed by some people's capability to master it so I'm chipping away at it, hoping to get better.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I don't really have any thoughts at all about them. Literally none.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I'd like to say it was Trolls but it was actually Hetalia when I was like 14. But I do everything within my power to distance myself from Hetalia, so I like to say it doesn't count. But....need to be honest.

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

Currently, at this point that I am at, the ones I used to be the most proud of now feel like they were a waste of time. I'm sure that will change again in a few months. How I feel about my own stuff is never consistent. The way that this question is phrased implies a forever favourite. Something I loved then, I love now and will love in future, and that is just never the case.

But also I don't wanna be an Eeyore about it, so I'll say a trance, a dance, a romance perchance?

I really do love my fairy Willow. She's so special to me :D!!

Tagging: after writing this whole post, I now feel very weird tagging people specifically and being like "HEY YOU! Look at this post I made <33" This is like a don't look at me post. BUT I do have lots of writer mutuals. And writer followers. If you're one of them and you see this....you!!!! Tag youre it!!!!

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adultswim2021 · 19 days

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Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job #42: “Puberty” | March 8, 2010 - 12:30AM | S05E02

Tim and Eric explore the saltier side of growing up in “Puberty”, an episode that is roughly thematic. The wraparounds for this episode involve Eric going through puberty, resulting in a deeper voice (augmented with the high-tech computers found at Abso Lutely studios), and a fresh new mound of pubic hair bulging out of his khaki shorts. The set is a treehouse, Tim & Eric's hangout and what would turn out to be the last vestige of their respective boyhoods. Thanks to Eric’s raging hormones, these halcyon days are in severe jeopardy, with Eric feeling very ready to replace his childish playtime with sexual encounters with cheap, disgusting women. Will their partnership survive?

The cold open of the show is for a nightmarish children’s “toy” called the Cinco I-Jammer, which children can engage with by e-bumping. E-bumping seems like it’s just a direct dopamine-spiker by way of a high-pitched frequency that creepily causes the children’s eyes to roll back into their heads. It’s also equipped with “Oh-Hungee”, which is a tube that deposits a bland-looking gruel into children’s bare hands. Kids are encouraged by the ad to replace their parents’ meals with “oh-hungee”. The ad is effective in mimicking hyper-active commercials aimed at children as well as giving off a trademark Tim & Eric style sinister vibe.

I like this one quite a bit. The little girl in the ad who has most of the lines is a very funny actor. She gives a spirited delivery that is hard to be pissed off with. I went down a brief rabbit hole to see if she pursued comedy after this. I found three potential matches and one of them is doing art in Denver, CO. One of them is sadly dead. A third one stopped posting on instagram around the time the other one died, so they might be the same person. I hope she’s the alive one. RIP to a proper legend if not.

OF NOTE: The DVD contains an alternate version of the I-Jammer sketch. It's about 70% the same, with some alternate jokes and Bob Odenkirk doing the voice-over. I think the as-aired version is stronger.

Next up: DLH sings a song about Puberty. I think the overall subject of puberty for comedy’s sake is pretty worn out, but Tim & Eric have a way with words that elevate the material. But this song resembles a low-effort comedic take on the subject by somebody with less talent. But, that’s sorta DLH’s whole deal, isn’t it?

I feel like you can categorize DLH’s various songs into a few different styles: bat-shit crazy alien stuff, earnest-seeming educational offerings, and then this: a song you where you get the sense that he’s trying to be actually funny. Overall, I’m just glad that this is brief, and there are small moments that are actually reasonably funny, like him mildly botching his lines and correcting himself during the preamble. This one seems like they included it more out of duty to keep the DLH quotient up, as well as help prop up the theme of the show.

Forting with Will features Will Forte (hey, that’s sort of a pun!) playing Will Grello (NOT a pun), teaching a small group of children how to make pillow forts while he goes off the rails with tangents about his dark childhood, particularly his relationship with his father. This one is lightly thematic; forting is a childish pastime (Tim & Eric’s wraparounds are from a tree house, an equally classic type of fort), and we’re witnessing a man whose own puberty was pretty traumatic. This one does little to shine above previous Will Grello installments, but it’s still funny. The most significant running gag in this one is Grello becoming so distraught reliving his trauma that he pees his pants. His enraged sarcasm when he asks for a towel, waits a beat, and hollers “yeah, NOW!” has been in my head for a while.

Finally, the other bit of substance is a Morning Meditation sketch, which I've crowed about being a less-than-favorite of mine. This one has a truly unsettling reveal, that the man we're watching trot around on camera is actually on stilts. This is enough to make me declare that this could be the best Morning Meditation sketch of all time. Only took them two seasons to get it right.

Tim & Eric’s wraparounds are pretty significant in this one, and have a lotta memorable bits and funny lines. Eric’s low-pitched voice aids the deadpan delivery of certain lines. Lotta great disgusting phrasing about his “mushroom tip”, and exploring “wet holes”. They really make sexual intercourse sound unappetizing. Tim affably lamenting “unfortunately I’m still boy” got me laughin'. Eric calling Tim a “fag” (bleeped out) also got me. I also need to highlight the part where Tim says “I guess I’ll go play with myself”, which is followed up by a light touch of tepid studio audience laughter.

Tim’s problems are solved by seeing a commercial for the Cinco Man Shake, which is fronted by a pitchman with a slightly grotesque muscle man physique. I feel like Tim & Eric are very good at casting people whose attractiveness fall into that uncanny valley; hyper masculine or feminine people whose bodies mostly reflect a conventional ideal but are slightly strange-looking. The guy they got for this fits that bill, while also delivering a spirited and genuinely compelling performance.

The shake in question requires adding a "fistful" of your friend’s pubic hair to the concoction, which Tim harvests from Eric’s thicket. Eric jocularly pretending it hurts and then giving a sheepish “just kidding” to the camera is great. Eric’s strengths are especially played to in this episode.

Tim attempts to hork down the shake, which contains a glob of Eric’s wet hair. Even though I’m intelligent enough to understand that little Timmy is sucking on sterile wig hair, it’s still one of the grossest things the show has ever shown me. Tim, with a mouth full of hairy goo, looking to the camera and saying “just a little more left to go and I’ll be a man” is another one of those moments that has never left my brain. The result is Tim essentially becoming a werewolf. “I’m a man now no more playtime for me” Tim drones in a borderline incomprehensible guttural tone.

Overall I really like this one. It’s imperfect, but most of these episodes are. I can see this one coming off as an unimpressive exercise playing with low-hanging fruit, but it’s low-brow and juvenile humor paired with really funny/weird line deliveries really sells this one for me. Good ep!

EPHEMERA CORNER:

Aqua Teen Hunger Force #93: “A PE Christmas” (series version)

I already covered this episode, because it originally aired around Christmastime, 2009, but it was a slightly different version from this one. This is the version that included additional scenes at the end, with Meatwad at Chuck D’s mansion. I am pretty sure the original version ends with Shake’s gastro-intestinal eel infestation causing him to die in a jail cell. The stronger ending, in my opinion. Also if anyone has a HQ copy of the 2009 version of A PE Christmas, please let me know!

#adult swim #adultswim2021 #tim and eric awesome show great job

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warmaidensrevenge · 1 year

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Loss

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem!plus size reader

If you want to read my other work you can find it HERE

A/N: Today I feel like I need to cry really bad. But I don't like to. It's just a big mess and I look ugly. So I wanted to write something a bit sad. So here goes nothing. I was inspired by Slipknots song Snuff and Jimmy Eat World song Hear You Me. Thanks for reading. As always feedback is greatly appreciated. Kay love ya bye.

Warnings: +18 Mentions of death, arguing, drug dealing/use, alcohol use, language, slight body insecurities, oral, smut, hurt, angst, and not proof read and no word count.

One shot

Summary: Tragedy makes you do shit you shouldn't. But your best friend doesn't give up on you. Eddie Munson will do whatever it takes to get you through it.

😔💔

When you first met Eddie he was 14 years old. He had just moved in with his uncle after his mom passed. At first you didn't like him. He was so loud and jittery. Constantly talking. But what made you actually not like him is when he kissed you on a dare. His buddies in the 8th grade dared him to kiss the 7th grade chubby nerdy girl. You were outside your next class reading Where the Red Fern Grows. You had started to cry when the little boy died.

Out of nowhere this kid with a shaved head came and sat next to you.

" Hey what's the matter?" He asked, sounding a little sad.

" Oh. Umm. It's just the book." You mumbled, wiping away your tears.

He plucked the book from your hands and looked over the cover.

" This is about dogs right?"

" Yeah. Kinda."

He looked at you and handed back the book. " You know a pretty girl like you shouldn't be crying. People will think you're a crybaby."

You looked at him to say something but he quickly kissed you.

When he pulled away you were so pissed. You balled up your fist and decked him.

He immediately grabbed his jaw and his eyes filled with tears.

" I-I.. I'm sorry." His voice broke.

You could tell he really was trying not to cry. You felt just a little bad. Maybe he didn't deserve to be nearly knocked out. But then again. This weirdo just kissed you.

You stood up and pointed your finger in his face.

" DON'T YOU EVER DO ANYTHING LIKE THAT EVER AGAIN! YOU CANT JUST GO AROUND KISSING PEOPLE!"

" I-I know s-sorry." He stuttered.

" Next time you do something that stupid. Ask permission!"

You stormed off to the girls bathroom and cried.

Ever since then you could not get rid of Eddie Munson. To him you were his best friend. To you he was merely an acquaintance. The rest of the 7th grade Eddie Munson was around. When he went to highschool he would get dropped off in front of your house just to walk you to and from school.

After school he would stay at yours until his uncle could pick him up. Which annoyed you like crazy. Sure Eddie was funny. But you could not stand him worth a damn.

But your parents did. You didn't know of they actually liked the dork. Or if they felt sorry for him being underprivileged. Either way they always liked having him around. Especially your dad.

You loved your dad more than anything in the world. It was because of him you gave Eddie a chance to be an actual friend. Your dad always gave you so much shit for being rude to Eddie. He would even make fun of you two. Saying one day you guys would get married and have tons of babies. Which you absolutely hated the thought of.

Once you got to highschool you and Eddie bonded more than you cared for. With the same types of problems you guys grew close. When he got older he calmed down. Not by much, but enough for you to actually be able to be in his presence longer than five minutes.

He put all that energy into his campaigns, and he started playing the guitar. Which was nice sometimes. He would go on tangents about how epic his storyline was for every campaign. He would get so theatrical that it was quite funny.

By the time you were a junior, Eddie was a senior. The bullying brought you guys even closer than before. He was bullied for being a "Freak". Long hair and rock music was not your peers norm. But for Eddie and you. It was. He was cool, and very nice. But others refused to see that.

They also refused to see you that way too. They saw nothing more than an ugly fat geek. Yes you were larger than your classmates and you didn't put on pounds of makeup. You liked to read and got straight A's. But you were not ugly. At least that's what Eddie would say.

Did you believe him? Well no.

But he did a lot to keep your mind from putting you down. He really did become a great friend. He was always there. Flirting away. Calling you beautiful all the time. Always play fighting with you, or teased you for being so darn cute. He did things that, from the outside looking in were suspicious. But to you and him you were just really good friends.

You never saw him like that. And to be honest you didn't want to. Sure he was devilishly handsome, and one of the nicest guys. But you just didn't see him that way.

He really was just a friend. Well until he wanted more.

...

He had been a forest firefighter for a majority of his life. And you could not have been prouder. He was the best dad in the whole world.

You were 18 when the unthinkable happened. You were a senior now and Eddie was doing his senior year over again. One afternoon your dad had gotten an emergency call and had to go.

See you knew your dad's job was dangerous. He literally fought fires with fire. He was well liked and a hero to everyone in Hawkins. But to you he was better than Superman.

Every time he went to work you made his crew promise to bring him back. And they did. Every time. Well until they didn't.

The fire was burning through the forest way too fast and with the winds blowing at 50 mph, it just got worse.

Your mom and you were escorted to the highschool gymnasium. All the thirteenth families of your dad's crew were there. People were freaking out and you weren't stupid. You knew something awful happened.

The captain of the fire department came and gave you the worst news you've ever heard.

Your father and his entire crew's bodies were found. They had gotten trapped and couldn't make it out. Your mother fell to the ground and wept.

You didn't believe it. It wasn't true. The guys promised to bring him back. You stood there staring at the door. Waiting for your dad to run in and say it was just a terrible joke. But he never came.

You were angry, and hurt. That you didn't know what to do. You knew your mom needed you then. But you needed something else or someone else. You needed your best friend. This shit you had planned on the drive to his trailer was stupid to say the least. But you need just a moment to get out of your current reality.

...

Eddie had been in love with you from the moment his lips touched yours. Sure it ended with a sock in the jaw. But he was yours then, and still yours now. Did you know that? Hell no. Did Eddie want to tell you? Absolutely not. You were his most trusted and bestest friend. He swore he would never do anything to jeopardize the friendship he tried so hard to build. He worked hard to get your parents to love him and he helped you even when you didn't ask for it. Which was hardly ever. You were very stubborn. But incredibly sweet. Though at first you resist Eddie's friendship. He eventually got you to see him for who he really was. That he wasn't a freak or scary or any of those awful things anyone said about him. However, he liked you and he had to keep you in his life. Even if it was just as a friend.

So he shoved his fondness for you into the deepest part of his heart. But then when you got to highschool you really proportioned out. Yes you were still thicker than most and he would have loved you either way. But you were growing up to be the most beautiful girl he had the pleasure of viewing.

Eddie's affection for you only grew. He always had to compliment you and touch you. Of course only if you would let him. He flirted a lot. He couldn't help it. The girl of his dreams was right in front of him all the time. But as a man of his word. He wouldn't ruin this beautiful friendship with you.

That was until all hell broke loose.

He was home that night. His uncle was at the plant as usual pulling a double. Eddie had just finished writing a new campaign when you came.

Eddie let you in, surprised that you came without calling. Normal when you came over you would call before. Giving him a warning to be decent. But he took it as 'Shit the love of my life is coming and I need to clean'.

When you came in you were off. He could always tell. But this time was different. This time you said stuff he wasn't expecting.

" Eddie. I need you to do me a favor."

" Uhhh okay?" He said taking a seat on the couch.

His eyes followed you back and forth as you paced his living room.

" ok but look. This is going to be...a lot...but I need you."

" What's going on princess?"

You stopped and looked at him letting out a long sigh. " Umm maybe I should just show you."

"Y/n?"

Eddie watched as you went towards his room. He was so confused. Normally you could talk to him. But you were being super cryptic and he was kinda scared.

He got up after a few seconds and followed you. He saw your shoes and socks in the hallway. As he got closer he kept finding more of what you were wearing. Picking them up along the way. When he turned the corner to his room he saw you in his bed.

The way you held his blanket up to your chest he just knew you were completely naked. Seeing your underwear and bra thrown on his dress also confirmed it.

He didn't know what to say. He would be lying if he said this wasn't a dream come true. But seriously what the hell?

" ummm princess. Are you naked?"

" Okay yes...I know this is a lot to ask but I really need you to have sex with me."

He was at a loss for words. Did you really just say that? Were you really in his bed? Naked?!

"I-I"

" Eddie. Please."

" Y/n? What's going on? We...we can't."

" Why?"

"I..."

" You're gonna tell me with all the flirting and all times you said that if I were your girl that you would take care of me. You're gonna say that and not want to take me when I offer?"

" Princess this is...this-"

" A lot to ask. I know. But I need you right now. I need you this way."

He always promised to be there for you. Whatever you need he would always be ready to help. Though he knew something was wrong, he had wanted this for so long.

Eddie closed his door and started to undress. He slid in next to you. Questions eating at him.

" Are you sure?"

"Yes Munson. I want this."

" But it's your first time."

You pulled at his shoulders to face you.

" yeah and I want it to be with you. I trust you. I know you won't hurt me."

You looked at him with such adoration. You were right. He would never hurt you. You were his everything.

His best friend part of him kept telling him not to. To talk about what was going on in your head. But his teenage hormones were yelling at him otherwise. See he was a virgin too. He had never seen a boob in real life. Sure he had naughty well used magazines under his bed, along with a couple of porn films he swiped a long time ago. So he knew where things went and how to be safe about it. But he wasn't about to admit it was his first time too.

He hesitated for a second before leaning in and kissing your cheek.

" Is this okay?" He asked

" You can do more. I want you to do more."

Your words made his body shiver. He kissed down your neck as you laid down. His hands were firmly pressed against either side of you. Your hands were clutching the blanket.

As he kissed across your chest a small whimper rang in his ears. He looked up at you worried.

" Touch me Eddie. I want you to touch me."

His eyes nearly popped out of his head when you pushed the blanket down. Revealing your ample breast. They looked so soft and were so big his mouth watered at the sight. One of his hands started to massage your breast.

He just kept looking at you in utter amazement. Your chest covered in stretch marks. Your breasts were spilling out of his hands. God you were more beautiful than he originally thought.

" Can I ... suck on them?"

"umm... y-yeah...s-sure."

He licked his lips before kissing one of your nipples gently. He then opened his mouth and swirled his tongue around it. Suckling with such tenderness. He lightly tugged at the raised nub with his teeth before sucking again. You moaned ever so softly that it gave him goosebumps.

Eddie knew even with his lack of experience, that it takes girls a little bit to get ready. So he was gonna make sure that your body was ready for him. Because his most definitely was. He had waited a long time for this. It's not like he didn't get offers. Because even though people saw him as a freak. Something about him being in a band had girls waiting for him after sets. But he never did anything with anyone. That was because he was saving himself for you. And though he knew you weren't in that state for him, he still wanted you to be his first and last everything.

He was still massaging and kissing and sucking on you when you lifted his head.

" Eddie. Now. I'm ready now."

Shit this was really going to happen. He was so nervous his hands started to shake when he was putting on the condom.

Finally it was on and he was now between your legs. He had to ask one more time.

" Y/n. Are you-"

" Eddie if you ask me again I swear I will leave."

Not wanting that he nodded.

" It might hurt."

After all this time you pulled him down for a deep kiss. He honestly hadn't believed that he didn't even kiss you. But God how badly he needed it. How badly he needed you.

Then it happened. You helped guide him to where you wanted and he went slow. He shut his eyes at this feeling he really couldn't describe. You were so warm and wet. And fuck so damn tight. He could feel himself already there. But he wasn't even in all the way. So he had to stop just to regain control.

Your body shook as his tip went in. It did hurt. But not in a bad way. His stretch was incredible. And when he stopped you wanted more.

" Eddie. God. More...please."

Eddie said a soft fuck as he continued to pushing through. There was a spot where he had to push a little hard making you gasp.

He was scared as hell. He looked up to see you covering your mouth. He stopped again to let you give him the okay.

Once he felt your body relax you nodded. He kept going until he felt a soft spot that made you moan so loud he knew he was hitting that spot.

The beautiful pain that caused made tears fall from the corners of your eyes. This wasn't at all what you expected. Eddie was huge. You hadn't seen or felt a penis before. But you knew that he was big. You weren't sure how it was gonna work but he was doing an excellent job keeping your thoughts at bay.

You need this. This comfort. Sure it was a dumb idea to sleep with your best friend. But at this moment, nothing mattered. It was just you and Eddie.

This felt like it was supposed to happen.

You felt this fire grow deep within you. With every slow thrust of his hips made something happen. And when you kissed him it felt... different.

You were clenching him so tight he couldn't hold back anymore. He felt your body tense again and he knew you were cumming. Your back arched and his hunched as he finally let go.

He slowly pulled out and watched you. He laid down trying to catch his breath. You pulled the blanket back over you to hide yourself and he felt bad.

After what you guys did you were still hiding from him. It was awkward for a few minutes. He got up to grab a towel for you. He took off the condom and discarded it.

When he went back to the room you were getting dressed. He pulled on a pair of grey sweatpants and sat next to you.

You sat there thinking about everything. You just had sex with your best friend. You could swear you would feel different. You thought you would feel bad for basically forcing him to do it. But you didn't. It didn't feel wrong. It actually felt right. It felt...good.

Then your thoughts went dark.

" Princess? Are you okay?"

You could feel Eddie watching you. You wanted to look at him, but now you were ashamed. Not about what just happened, but why it happened.

" N-no."

Now Eddie could think clearly. Did he do something wrong? It sure felt right to him. Should he have just said no? Was this a mistake? No. It felt too good to be.

He looked at you and tears were rolling down your face. He wrapped an arm around your waist and you just turned and buried your face in his chest.

You cried so hard that all he could do was hold you. You had never cried like this before. Your whole body trembled. Your crying made him cry too.

"W-what happened y/n?"

...

Eddie stood next to you two weeks later holding your hand while they buried your father. You were gone. You weren't you anymore. The smile Eddie had loved so much was gone. You were quiet and you cried all the time.

You had stayed with him every night since. He held you as you cried yourself to sleep. You moved like a ghost. He tried to distract you with whatever he could. But nothing was working.

You were a shell of who you used to be. Burying your father was the worst day of your life. You should have been with your mom those two weeks. But for some reason you blamed her for it.

Instead you stayed with Eddie and his uncle. You finally went back to school after the funeral. You roamed the halls like a zombie. Constantly running off to the bathroom to cry. Eddie would have to be the one to find you and calm you down enough to get back to class. He really was your saving grace.

Three months after the funeral you and Eddie started hooking up on the reg. You constantly found yourself either in the back of his van riding him or out in the woods where he sold drugs.

This day in particular you were laying down with your ass on the edge of the table. Eddie was on his knees between your legs going to town.

He'd been at this for the better part of the hour. You guys totally missed lunch and part of class. But it didn't matter. He was a god with his tongue. His touch made you forget about everything. He was working on your fourth orgasm when you sat up on your elbows.

" Munson we're gonna get detention if we don't go back."

He hummed into you, licking and sucking on your clit.

" Haven't even put my fingers in yet." He mumbled

You laid back down and moaned when he slid his long thick fingers into you.

Eddie couldn't get enough of your pussy. The damn thing was intoxicating. To be fair everything about you was. He just loved when you came on his tongue. He could live off your sweet nectar.

When you came for the final time he licked and swallowed every last drop. You sat up and pulled his hand to suck off your juice. Making his cock ache. He wanted to feel your walls hugged him. He wanted to bury his throbbing cock deep into your perfect pussy but you were right. You guys had to go back.

Once you put on your panties you hopped off the table and pulled down your dress. Both of you smirk and walk back.

" Coming tonight?" Eddie asked, shoulder bumping you.

" uh huh."

" Cool."

Eddie didn't know what was going on with you two. But he loved you so he was happy with whatever you gave him. He wanted you to be his girl. But this secret hooking up was making it clear that it was what you wanted for now. He wasn't complaining. He liked being with you like this and other ways too.

All he wished was that he knew what was going on in your head. You didn't talk about your father. Shit you barely talked at all. Which he missed like crazy. He missed the conversations and the laughs. He was determined to get you back by giving you whatever you needed.

It was almost unbelievable when you asked him to get high that night. You had never once wanted to smoke with him. Or drink for that matter. But when you came over you had asked.

When he came back you were naked. He has seen you naked countless times by now. But holy fuck were you so beautiful. Every curve, every stretch mark, all your perfect imperfections. He loved them all.

Of course he wasn't going to say no. He'd been wanting to see what you were like inebriated.

You sat on his couch while he went to his room to get his metal lunch box. He pulled out a perfectly rolled joint and smirked.

You were laying down with a small throw just covering your mid section.

" God princess."

You lifted your arms for him to come to you. He stripped down to his boxers and laid on top of you. His hands were on either side of your face with the joint and lighter in one hand.

" I thought you wanted to smoke."

" I do....But I want you inside me while we do."

" hmm never done this before." He grinned.

You pushed his hair back behind his ears and lifted a bit to kiss his neck. He threw his head back and groaned. You nipped at his neck and lifted your hips to his.

"Fuu.." he moaned when you sucked a small bruise on his shoulder.

He got to his knees and lit the joint taking a long puff. You went for his boxers freeing his cock. He leaned back down and blew the smoke into your mouth.

" Hold it." He whispered

He kissed your cheek down to your neck. You slowly let out the smoke and coughed slightly. He removed his mouth from your chest and took another hit. His lips met yours and he kissed you while blowing the smoke.

He guided himself into you. Sucking a large dark hickey on your chest. Doing this without protection was the new normal for him. The day after you got on birth control you threw away all his condoms.

He moved the blanket barrier because he wasn't close enough.

He did so. Taking one last puff of the joint before putting it out. He blew into your mouth then started to hit that sweet spot just how you liked it. He had you cumming in just a few minutes. He came too. Filling you up with his love. Cumming in you was the best thing in the world to him he secretly wished you would get pregnant so you would always be with him.

" Harder." You moaned.

Once he was done he sat back trying to catch his breath. The weed finally kicked in and you started to giggle. His heart was full at hearing that. It had been so long since you laughed.

" Fuck Munson." You said breathlessly.

" Y-yeah."

He got up and went to get a wash cloth and cleaned you up. You pulled on your panties and shirt. After you laid him his arms enjoying the high. You guys talked and laughed. Reliving all the fond memories you two had together.

"Do you remember when you and your uncle came over for Christmas for the first time?"

Eddie smiled. " Yeah."

He remembered everything about that day. He was almost 16 and it was his very first white Christmas. You and him were in your room. He was showing you his new Megadeth album while you finished knitting his beanie.

He was so happy that day. You had finally started warming up to him and hung out with him. You guys listened to the music and just talked about what to expect for your freshman year.

You had got up to open a window because all the cooking was making the house super hot. When you did you squealed.

" It's snowing."

Eddie jumped up and went to look too. He had honestly never seen snow. He grabbed your hand and you guys ran to the front door and put on your jackets.

It was really cold that night but Eddie didn't care. He wanted to build a snowman man. Out of nowhere you started throwing snow balls at him. He didn't want to hurt you so he just dodged them. His hands were freezing and you noticed. You went inside and grabbed his presents and two mugs of hot cocoa.

He put on his beanie and mittens and sat with you on the porch watching the snow fall. You leaned your head on his shoulder and he smiled. He had considered this to be your guy's first date.

" Remember we got so sick the next day."

Eddie laughed. " God yeah. That was so bad. I remember your dad made us his firehouse chili. It was so spicy I swear my mouth was on fire. But it did make me feel better. The snot just flowed out of me."

" Y-Yeah." Your voice broke.

Shit he didn't mean to bring up your dad.

" I'm sorry princess. I-"

" It's okay. Don't worry about it. It...it was a really great day."

He held you tighter. He wanted so badly to ask you to be his girl. But he didn't know if you were ready yet. All this time he was falling deeper in love with you. Sex was so damn good, he couldn't imagine it getting any better. You were an absolute goddess to him. He worshipped your body every chance he got. He thought that maybe you loved him too. You had to right? You wouldn't be doing this just to get your rocks off. But then again you were distant when it wasn't just you two.

Many weeks went by and you were changing even more. You had started drinking and skipping school like crazy. You stop staying with him, finally going back home. But you would eventually show up every other day. Wanting him to fuck you. Of course he did. He always wanted to give you what you needed. But you didn't seem to realize what you were doing to him. You were hurting him.

It was like you only wanted him when you were sad. And though Eddie hated you being sad he just wanted to help.

...

You were growing distant from everyone. It's not like you wanted to. But you did. Being with Eddie made you feel ok for a little while. But you wanted to stop sleeping with him. Because you were getting way too attached. It felt like every time you had sex you were getting used to the idea of him always being around.

You knew that wasn't the case. Everyone dies. Your dad made that clear to you. Sure you knew it was going to eventually happen but the reality of it was too much. You didn't want to lose Eddie too. He became too important too fast. And your feelings for him grew to the point where you loved him. Sure you "loved" him before. But not like this. He was quickly taking over your heart. And that was something you did not want.

Eddie has been an important person in your life. He was your best friend. But things went too far and you noticed that Eddie was getting attached too. And you needed it to stop.

So one night you confessed how you felt. You were always honest with him. And though you didn't want to hurt him. You actually wanted to be with him. But the thought of losing him was too much to bear.

Eddie was sitting on his bed listening to you say that you couldn't do this anymore. He was right. You weren't ready for a serious thing. It broke his heart but he could understand that. Not wanting to lose you too he agreed to stop with the sexual stuff.

However, he hadn't expected for you to pull away from him entirely. The only time he had seen you was at school. You withdrew from Hellfire and all the extra curricular activities. For weeks you were just not around.

He missed you like crazy. He tried to talk to you but you constantly scurried away when he got close. Why were you doing this to him? Weren't you guys still friends?

All his thoughts went back to sleeping with you. He knew it shouldn't have happened. Well it should have but not like that. He knew something was there. You had feelings for him too. How could you not? One night when you had fallen asleep in his arms you moaned an I love you.

He loved you so very much. And that's all he wanted to do. But you kept up the distance and it hurt.

One Saturday Eddie went to a party to deal some drugs. He had planned on going to your house after to try and talk but you were at this party. You had clearly been drinking. You didn't see him but he saw you. Some guy was kissing on your neck while you were drinking a beer.

Words couldn't describe the pain Eddie felt in his heart. Is this what you were doing these past few weeks? Had you moved on? He thought you said you weren't ready. Why the fuck would you be letting some guy be on you like that, when you wanted him?

He was so angry that he was ready to beat the shit out of the guy. But that's when he saw who it was. Billy Hargrove. His dad was one of the crew members with your dad.

Eddie put two and two together. You attached yourself to the only person who knew how you felt. He took off cursing the world for not being the one you needed.

He went home balling his eyes out for you. For all the pain you felt that he couldn't help you with. He cried for himself. How much it hurt him to see you with someone else.

...

It was stupid. Letting Billy touch you. You were already four beers, three shots of tequila in when he started to hit on you.

You really weren't paying too much attention to him, until he started getting closer. Soon you were leaning up against a wall with him kissing on your neck. Then he started touching you everywhere.

" Let's go find a room" he mumbled into your neck.

" Umm y-yeah. Why don't...don't you find an empty one. And-and I'll get us more drinks."

He nodded and left. You stumbled to the kitchen looking for the phone. The numbers were blurry and the room started to spin a little. It took you two times to punch in the right number.

"Hello?"

" M-munson"

" Y/n?"

" H-hey. I'm at erm... a party. And I don't...feel good."

" I'll be right there."

You didn't even bother to hang up the receiver. You made it outside and sat down. The spinning got worse causing you to throw up. After you just laid on the ground and fell asleep.

Eddie sped over to find you passed out on the grass.

" Fuck!"

He ran to you holding you in his lap. You reeked of booze and vomit.

" Princess? C'mon. Wake up."

You groaned slightly. " Ed-Eddie?"

" Yeah baby. I'm here. C'mon. Let's go home."

Once he got to his trailer, he helped you into the showered. He got in too washing you up. He had pulled out a pair of pajamas you left there and helped you get dressed. He brushed your hair and braided it before you guys laid down.

He watched you all night. Making sure you were okay. You had started talking in your sleep. Which normally you just moaned a little.

" Eddie please don't go."

He hugged you tighter. " I'm not going anywhere."

"I...love you."

He knew it was just sleep talking but he waited so long to hear those words come from you again. He kissed your forehead.

" I love you y/n."

...

Sometime in the very early morning he fell asleep. But when he woke up you were gone. He tried calling you. He even went to your house. But no one was there.

It wasn't until Monday when he saw you at school. He tried to talk to you all morning but for some reason you kept avoiding him. Even in the classes you had together you didn't even look at him. You were breaking his heart.

During lunch he couldn't take it anymore. He needed this conversation to happen.

He looked everywhere for you to no avail. That was until he found you in the parking lot. You were in Billy's car doing something. As he got closer he saw exactly what you were doing.

You had a rolled up dollar bill to your nose and were sniffing some white powder. Eddie freaked the fuck out. He pulled open the door.

"Y/N WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?!"

"Mun-"

He pulled you out by your arm, dragging you towards his van.

" YOU'RE HURTING ME!" You cried out.

Out of the blue he felt a pair of hands on him.

Billy pulled you away and got in his face.

" What the hell's your problem man?! Don't you see she doesn't want to go with you?!"

"FUCK YOU HARGROVE! WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING GIVING HER THAT SHIT?!" Eddie shoved him and went back to grab your hand.

Before he could Billy tackled him. They were rolling around throwing blow after blow.

You were yelling for them to stop. A few kids came and surrounded you guys. You tried to grab Billy off but he pushed you away.

When Eddie saw you fall he got the upper hand and was now on top of Billy. Punch after punch. Eddie was going off.

Finally teachers came and ripped the two apart.

Everyone was suspended. Billy was a bloody mess and Eddie had a busted lip and a bloody nose. When you were all sent home you had a choice to make. Go with Eddie or go with Billy.

You made the stupidest choice. You could see the hurt in Eddie's eyes when you got into Billy's car.

...

Eddie was beyond pissed. How could you choose Billy over him? You said you loved him. What the fuck was wrong with you?!

When he got home his uncle was getting ready to leave. They had gotten into an argument about his suspension.

Eddie didn't say why he got into a fight. Just that Billy threw the first punch. When his uncle left Eddie went to the restroom to see the damage.

His knuckles were all bruised and sore. His nose had some dried blood. But other than that he was fine. Physically that is. Emotionally he was a wreck.

He cleaned himself up and changed his clothes. He lit a cigarette and went outside.

A familiar car approached. But he couldn't look at you. When you got off you stood a few feet in front of him.

" Eddie? Are you okay?" Your soft voice only served to hurt him more.

" What the hell are you doing here?" He said taking a drag of his cigarette.

" I came to see if you were okay."

"Why?"

" What do you mean why?"

" Y/n don't act like you care about me."

" What?! I do care about you."

"No you don't! You only care about yourself."

"Eddie-"

" No y/n. You have to stop this. Whatever you're doing."

" I'm not doing anything-"

" YES YOU ARE! Don't you see how you're acting and what you're doing is affecting me?'

Of course you did. That's why you were keeping your distance. The last thing you wanted to do was hurt your best friend.

" Eddie I'm sorry. I-"

" Don't be. Just fucking go."

You didn't know what to say. You loved him. But all you kept doing was hurting him.

"Do you really want me to go? Because I don't want to...We need to talk about this."

He took another puff. Now he had a choice to make. Hurt more or let you go. Letting go though wasn't an option for him.

He sighed. "Y/n look. Maybe the way things happened for us was not okay. But I'm glad it did. I know that what we were doing wasn't wrong...I've wanted you for so long that everything we did felt like it was supposed to happen. Looking back when we first met it's crazy to think about. I never thought that every day since we would be building a bond that was so strong. A bond that makes me want you forever. Y/n you are my best friend. And - and I know you're going through a lot right now. But I can be here for you. You don't need to get wasted or do drugs to get past this. What you need is to talk to me. Be with me. Be my best friend again. I can help you. You know I lost my mom too. You don't need Billy or anyone else. I love you y/n. And I need you to see that I'm not going anywhere."

This was exactly what you didn't want to happen. This is the reason you wanted to stay away from him. You needed him. But you didn't want to need anyone. You wanted to just disappear.

There was shit going on that no one knew. And with Billy knowing how it felt to lose a parent that way, he got it. Eddie lost his mom too. But that was years ago and she died from an illness. You thought he wouldn't understand.

But he did. He knew what it was like to hurt that way. He knew what it was like trying to drown out your sorrows with alcohol and drugs. Shit you were the one to get him to stop doing it so much. But things were changing now.

" Eddie as much as I would like to say that I love you too. I can't. Everything is so messed up that we can't go back. We can't just start over."

" I don't want to start over. I want to fix whatever is wrong."

" Eddie... we're moving."

The cigarette butt burned his fingers and he tossed it. He looked at you and was confused.

" W-what?"

You wiped away a tear. " My mom can't afford the house now. So we are moving to Arizona with my grandparents."

"W-what?!"

His world started falling apart. No this can't be happening.

" That's why I tried to stay away. That's why I needed too. That and I don't want to hurt you anymore...we can't do this... I'm still grieving for my dad. I keep making the wrong choices. And I need to get myself back. I can't love you. I don't want to."

Eddie's eyes started to swell with tears. He stood up getting closer to you.

" You love me though... You love me? That's why you keep pushing me away?"

" Eddie. I can't. I'm leaving."

He got closer. " No. Just admit it. You love me. That's why you chose to be with me. Have me be your first? Did you know that you were mine too?"

" Eddie I-"

" No princess. Don't deny it now." He was so close now. His body was pressed up against yours.

" You love me. You want to be with-"

You took a step back. "I don't want to lose you too."

" What?" He said taking a step back as well.

He could hear your shuddered breathing. " Eddie everyone leaves or dies. It's just best if I leave. And you move on."

" Nope."

Eddie pulled you into his arms. " I'm not leaving. I'm not dying anytime soon. And you are not leaving me without telling me the truth."

You hung your head shaking it.

He cupped your face with one hand making you look at him.

" Tell me you don't love me." He kissed your cheek. "Tell me the thought of being without me doesn't keep you up at night...Tell me that you don't always want to be in my bed. That you don't dream about me like how I dream about you... Tell me that when you look at me you don't see a future with us having kids and married. Because I do. I see all that with you...Tell me you don't love it when I make love to you...tell me you don't and I'll let you go."

Fuck why did he have to say that. Of course you felt all that and more. But you couldn't. You shouldn't.

" Kiss me...Kiss m-"

Eddie pulled you closer and kissed you with everything he had. Another stupid decision. But God it felt so good when you're with him. He was your everything. Your love. Your best friend.

You guys ended up in his room. You were on top of him slowly rocking your hips back and forth. Your mouths attached to one another's. Eddie was right about everything. You loved him with every fiber of your being.

After you laid in his arms. You wanted to confess your feelings. But this was the end. It had to be.

...

You spent every night with Eddie until you were about to leave Hawkins. Eddie tried to get you to stay. He even had his uncle agree to have you live with them. But you refused.

Eddie was standing outside of your house. You guys had just finished packing up the moving van. You said your goodbyes last night. But he couldn't let you leave without hearing you say it.

" Y/n. Please. Just tell me."

" What good would it do if I said it?"

" Then I'll know that you do. And I can go on and think none of this was a mistake."

You sighed. " No words can describe all the feelings I have for you. You have shown me what love really is. That it goes beyond sex. It's the way you talk to me, the way you hold me, the way you touch me. It's how you always show up when I need you... I didn't fall in love with you because I wanted to. I fell in love with you because everything felt right. And for the first time in my life I didn't feel alone. I fell in love with you for all the reasons you showed me every single day... Eddie...until the stars stop twinkling, until the sun no longer burns, until the world stops turning. I will always love you. I swear I will... forever."

Eddie's heart broke all over again. He knew it. And now you were leaving him.

He gave you one last kiss before he watched you leave.

Maybe in another life or at another time. You guys could have been together. He stood there with eyes full of tears knowing you took a piece of him with you.

He knew you would never come back. And though he told himself that one day he would be okay. You would always have his heart.

...

@salenorona23

#fanfic #eddie munson #eddie munson x female original character #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x plus size reader #eddie x reader #stranger things #eddie my beloved #eddie x fem!reader #eddie x y/n #eddie x plus size reader #plus size reader #eddie stranger things

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prowerprojects · 1 year

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(Modern Tails anon) {Don't worry, I totally get the need to vent. We all have our feelings on things, I'll try to my best to follow up with my own word vomit.} Heh, as long as he's doing something other than typing on a pad, that's seems to be enough for some people. /s (Archie didn't exactly do him better either; with everything else that was going on in it, but at least he had a few personal shining moments in it. IDW, Modern really hasn't had a definitive story yet. One that covers all his aspects and show his future potential, not just smarts and gadgets.)

Probably doesn't help that characters with superpowers tend to have a bias, compared to more "normal" ones. (I mean, Tails isn't normal either, but I think you get what I mean. Kid genius trope struggles.)

Hmmm, probably have to chalk that up to SoA localization changes; which omit the whole bullying thing and downplayed his inventor aspects pre-Adventure/Sonic X. Early cartoons playing hard into the 'kid' side didn't help either. (Underground completely removing him for real siblings certainly was a choice after AOSTH and SatAM went on about him and Sonic being surrogate brothers. At least the OVA balanced everything.)

Yeah, some are missing the point why Nine is the way he is and his current arc. As curious as I am about potentially seeing a "main antagonist" Tails, I can't help but feel it might hinder Modern Tails' outlook more or give even further wrong impressions of his character, especially in tangent to Sonic. (Frontiers is just words until we see what happens passed this game onward. I did sneak a look at the DLC leaks, and well, let's just say a certain trend of his we keep joking about continues and leave it at that. xD)

This is what I also mean about him interacting with other characters. How would he be as THEIR partner for a while? What if he took leadership and inspire others, just like Sonic has. What does he learn from those experiences? Considering he doesn't have personal contempt for most characters, him being mostly neutral allows him to talk virtually with everyone rather civilly. Including Eggman's robots. (Ah, someone else with the Tails and Sage vision. xD I'm hoping with their similarities, it leads to a cool dymanic between them, I don't quite see them fighting each other as much as Sonic and Eggman do.)

Heh, we don't talk about Sonic's admiration of Tails very much, or how they keep each other centered and it often leads to that lopsided view. Yeah, Sonic 'raised' Tails; more as guidance than the traditional parental sense, but Tails is one of the main reasons why Sonic is still alive. Sonic values Tails' opinion, even if it doesn't always align with his. His support and planning is why Sonic can succeed in his heroism. (Sonic isn't dumb by any means and can handle himself well, BUT can you say his adventures would have gone smoothly or quickly without Tails' help? Do you not think he enjoys Tails' company regardless and supports him with all his heart? Do you think why the dude who generally prefers solitude considers this fox close enough to be described as his family? Their bond has multiple layers, years of trust and is still evolving. Focusing and giving all the credit to one side of the team is disingenuous to both.)

Thanks, anon!

I wonder if idw would do something with Tails at all... maybe in a couple of years we'll see. I have other thoughts on idw, but I should stop myself because thinking about it too long is a bit upsetting. (I wrote an entire paragraph about him in the Metal Virus but. I should really stop thinking about it)

I'm really hoping we get a Tails-centric story in that 900 issues special, and if not, at least have him be a supporting character for someone he doesn't usually interact with much (so basically anybody who isn't Sonic). I looked at the list of the writers and I honestly have no idea who I'd want to write for him, since a lot of them only did a couple of sonic stories at most.

Technically Tails does have superpowers, he can fly and he's fast... but a good chunk of the cast also has those, so it isn't something that seems so special anymore. So he only has him being a kid genius to set him apart and yeah, I guess it isn't as awe-inspiring as being able to throw cars with your mind or set things on fire.

Yep. What I was trying to say in the last post, is Tails's backstory being kind of hard to figure out just from playing the game is the reason why the western adaptations were able to change him so much in the first place. (At least that's what I meant by "that's how we ended up with Tailses who thought math was hard"). Though maybe if those adaptations did have his game backstory elements being more prominent somehow, it would have created a different image of Tails for a lot of people in the west...

Interesting that the bullying thing was included in Stay Sonic, which is what the Fleetway comics is (partially) based on, and it is a part of his backstory in the comic as well. His bullies were other foxes, just like in Origins/Prime. (Kid genius thing was not included though, hence "Pixel Brain")

(Also it's interesting that aosth started to bring in some of the aspects of his game characterization by the second half of the show. The whole episode dedicated to him being a genius, and then his technological abilities do occasionally come up later on, him fanboying over a pilot and flying a plane in another episode, people occasionally commenting on how freaky it is that he has two tails, stuff like that)

Honestly I don't know what else I could add on the Nine thing, I genuinely don't believe he would be the final antagonist. If he does end up as one, I have no idea what it says about the actual Prime Tails, how are we meant to read it? (Also I just generally have a bit of a distaste for how fandoms would see a traumatized and hurting kid, who is maybe kind of angsty and isn't the best at managing their feelings, and immediately go "Oh evil! They're soooo gonna be a villain!" I understand it could be really cathartic to see a character who's been wronged and hurt to turn the tables and be unhinged and calling the shots, but 1) often in the end it ends up being self-destructive behavior, 2) while it could be cathartic for some viewers, and technically it's a plot that has a right to exist, the fact that it's a trend that I've noticed makes me feel like people associate mentally ill teenagers with being evil, which is not great (though maybe I'm reading too much into this), 3) I just genuinely think this isn't where Prime is going)) Tails could make for a terrifying antagonist, I'm just really struggling to imagine what could actually drive him to villainy.

Tails and Sage... my first thought was "Oh they're definitely gonna make them rivals. Considering that Tails used to battle Eggman, isn't that a bit of a downgrade?" But then I actually started thinking about it, and now I want it. I have some ideas, but the actual dynamic would really depend on where they take both of those characters after Frontiers. But it could be really interesting, and more importantly, different from the rivalries that we already have!

Yes, Sonic and Tails! As much as I would love for Tails to interact with other characters, he and Sonic do have a great dynamic together. Honestly I don't think I have anything to add. It reminded me of the recent Sonic Channel story, at the end Sonic says something along the lines of Eggman being the unluckiest person in the world because of all the people not to lose their memory, it was the two of them, which means he's definitely going down!

#sonic doesn't look before he leaps not because he's reckless he just knows tails would catch him #tails #hmmm I wouldn't call this one a rant #I've chilled out #project.txt #miles tails prower #tails the fox #sonic #how much sonic trusts tails is amazing to me #it really balances out tails's own admiration of sonic #i feel like being friends for so long had influenced sonic as well. the not looking before leaping thing from before was a joke but #I do think that knowing that he always has tails in his corner does influence some of his decision-making

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