#somehow not gay

[t3chkn1ght-blog]

How am I not LGBT+?

I'm a cishet male, and yet:

I'm on tumblr

I'm a Computer Science student.

I watch JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, Hazbin Hotel, Helluva Boss, etc.

I'm subscribed to Overly Sarcastic Productions, Jaiden Animations, and PM Seymour.

I play DnD, Stardew Valley, and Baldur's Gate III.

I love me a good musical number.

I've enjoyed Monster Prom and its sequels.

I love Thomas Sanders, One Topic at a Time, The Click, etc.

I think LGBT+ memes are funny (as in, the ones made by actual LGBT+ folk, not conservatives making memes at their expense).

While I don't actively seek out media with LGBT+ characters, when they do show up, I tend to enjoy them.

Actively hate culture war/"woke cult"/redpill bullshit

I'm sex positive, even though I've never had it.

I Think that a lot of gendered stuff (Gendered Bathrooms, "Blue is for boys, pink is for girls") is just stupid.

I grew up on Gravity Falls

I didn't mind playing with "girls toys" growing up (Dollhouses, Princesses, etc.)

I've spent some time on Deviantart

I've read Percy Jackson (don't remember a lot of it, but I did).

Don't mind wearing feminine clothing for a bit (ex: that time I went as a Karen for Halloween)

Have a strong desire to punch homophobes/transphobes in the face.

I mean, if you were to look at all this stuff, you would probably think I'm LGBT+ in some way, but NOPE! I'm a dude. I'm cool with being a dude. I'm not androgynous enough to be nonbinary. I have lewd thoughts about girls and not boys. I'm not gay, I'm not ace, I'm not bi, not pan, not nb, nothing.

Like that one John Mulaney bit, I feel like I was supposed to be LGBT+, and yet I'm not. How did this even happen?

Just a weird thing about me that, when I thought about it, only got weirder.

#cisgender #cis ally #straight ally #lgbtq community #lgbtq #like wtf #cishet ally #funny weird #funny #hmm #odd #about myself #how did this happen #john mulaney #somehow not gay #weird thoughts #weird things #how is this possible #how did this even happen

[lotrmusical]

never let anyone tell you that trawling through mediocre victorian poetry isn't worth it. we just happened upon an absolute BANGER of a worm poem. go read it or else 🪱🪱🪱

#was calling beckett and scouring the works of eliza cook looking for lesbianism #good amounts of lesbianism in evidence but unfortunately very little in the way of good poetry #APART from this worm one which DOES NOT MISS #eliza cook #is there a thriving eliza cook tag on tumblr. somehow i doubt it #the hand of the giant and the heart of the brave / must turn weak and submit to the worm and the grave! #not an original theme ofc but GOD the treatment is delightful. so fresh so gleeful some rlly nice use of sound. rlly solidly constructed #words #gay belligerence

[moss-balll]

they really brought david tenant’s son in and said hey do you want to play a gay little boy in good omens 2. just a little camp mf. nepotism done right.

#bro was in it for 3 minutes and was somehow the gayest character in the show #in the very gay show #good omens #aziraphale #crowley #good omens season two #good omens 2 #good omens spoilers #mosstxt

[gaylittleguys]

unstoppable force vs immovable object

#based on that one text screenshot you know the one #astarion/durge #astarion x dark urge #astarion #bg3 #Mal #doodles #astarion finding the one guy in faerun who doesnt give a shit about his seduction skills #and needing him so bad #Mal best in class at the Will Graham school of misinterpreting gay feelings #(fast forward to act 3 and they’re irritatingly in love) #somehow

[isaacthedruid]

this fucking show has been over for almost 4 years, yes that one the homophobic gay monster hunter show. it’s getting gayer with times, congrats to ty and dj on their future marriage. the gays are winning

#if it can’t be gay on the show they can be gay irl somehow and I love it #spn #supernatural #ty olsson #dj qualls #gay #the gays are winning

[bi-booklover]

repeat after me.

QUEER CHARACTERS ARE NOT PLOT DEVICES FOR STRAIGHT CHARACTERS.

#yes this is about wills gay painting somehow being about m*leven #and also about robin and vickie being the exact same person #queer people deserve rich complex relationships we are not looking for mirrors!!! #ronance was right there #byler was handed to them on a glass plate and they smashed it #was the plot everything i wanted? absolutely #but dear god what happened to my comfort characters #(oh also extremely gay coded steddie but lets not touch that for now it hurts) #stranger things #stranger things 4 #st4 #st4 spoilers #stranger things 4 spoilers #volume two spoilers #ronance #steddie #byler #robin buckley #nancy wheeler #mike wheeler #will byers #steve harrington #eddie munson

[the-witchhunter]

DP x DC: Wait... this isn’t a gay bar??

I was just thinking about Danny as a bartender at a rogues bar and then it struck me...

Danny thinks he works at a gay bar

Why? Well, have you looked at the clients? Bisexual queen Harley Quinn, lesbian icon Poison Ivy, Two Face is clearly bi(two)sexual and has a thing with Bruce Wayne, Scarecrow is probably ace or maybe aro, Riddler is at the very least homo romantic, hell, even if Red hood comes by he’s bi/pan AND poly

What I’m saying is, based off the clientele, Danny would think he works at a gay bar 

and based on the evidence they have a hard time disagreeing with him

#dpxdc #dp x dc crossover #dp x dc prompt #dp x dc #dp x dc crack #bartender danny #danny thinks he works in a gay bar #BECAUSE LET'S FACE IT #half the regular batman rogues are pretty fruity #and so are the Bats frankly #haha 'Fruit Bats' #Dick is probably bi but I like to imagine him as somehow the only straight person in the Batfamily because I find it hilarious

[naofaun]

gay people will see 2 men (or women) who hate each other and would rather tear each other apart than be nice and proceed to ship them more than anything

#{ ♡ } nao : misc . . . #its me im gay people #staticradio #um #radioapple #granted i dont really ship these a whole lot but whatever LOL #hazbin hotel #adamsapple #inspired by me reblogging a post with those tags #now to remember my other fandoms somehow #arlefuri #dottolone #cytham #some of these are prob inaccurate but whatever #fyozai #fyolai #chiluc #chiscara #lawlight #meronia #destinyshipping #cattrouble #catra x double trouble #my godddd

[uncanny-tranny]

Periodic reminder that unless a person specifically and clearly tells you it is okay to tell others they are trans or queer, you should err on the side of caution and assume they do not want you to tell people (especially random people!) about their transness or queerness.

You have no idea, generally, why somebody doesn't talk openly about their trans or queer status, and you have no idea, truly, how somebody might react to that information. The most progressive person out there is still capable of harbouring incredibly negative thoughts about somebody's queer status.

#lesbian #gay #bi #bisexual #trans #transgender #queer #lgbt #lgbtq #ally advice #inspired after somebody at work outed me (again ×3) #i don't care how 'safe' you assume they will be! you cannot TRULY guarantee their safety! #you are effectively gambling with somebody's safety by assuming you can out them #also even if their safety was somehow 100% guaranteed it is still not your place to dictate what others know about THEM #like it isn't your own information you are giving out. the other person is a real human being with real thoughts... #...and there are real ramifications to your actions! this is like... real life and like... real people #anyway. i'm still fucking horrified at how cool people are (at least wrt me) with outing others 🙃🫠 #and it just... further reminds me that others see me as like... a thing to be talked about/over and i'm not seen as an autonomous human #maybe that's not their intentions 9/10 times but that still doesn't justify it nor does it change how i interpret that behaviour 👍 #it's just dehumanizing imo to be reminded 'your comfort DOESN'T MATTER. i think you should be talked ABOUT not TO.' #clarification for the first tag: this is the THIRD time somebody has outed me. i NEVER talk about being trans to... pretty much ANYBODY irl #it's shit like this that i have to resist taking the 'doompill' over #because it's scary and dehumanizing every. single. time. i feel so fucking scared each time #because - AGAIN - i know my safety will NEVER be guaranteed because i am trans and queer

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

it is. so weird to me that I'm having to say this again after a real-life cartoon supervillian already once ran for president on a platform of hatred & fascism and won, but.

it's November, please fucking vote

#not a shitpost #serious post #this election cycle will DETERMINE what legislation gets passed #it will DETERMINE THE FUTURE OF ABORTION RIGHTS AND GAY MARRIAGE AND OTHER LGBTQ+ PROTECTIONS #the supreme court plans to destroy as much progress as possible and that means we have to rely on congress to protect those rights #which they can only do if the Dems control the senate and the house #we are in FULL BLOWN DAMAGE CONTROL MODE here #especially because it is still somehow perfectly possible and actually probable #that the festering pile of garbage in human form who recently tried to overthrow the government will end up back on the ballot in 2024 #we still haven't recovered from 4 years of trump and if we don't show up at the polls it is perfectly possible we will get another 4 years #vote this november to protect basic human rights #and vote in november 2024 so we don't have to survive another 4 years under trump #because many of us--the most vulnerable of us--won't survive. and many many more will suffer #vote to protect yourself and your neighbors. vote to protect those who most need protection. #vote because it is the right thing to do #vote out of kindness #and vote out of spite--because billionaires are spending insane amounts of money to prevent you from voting #so tell them to get fucked and vote anyway #do it out of spite and do it out of heart and do it out of rage and do it out of love #show up #us politics

[neinofthem]

every episode with essek in it before the Reveal is so funny because he’s there for maybe 45 minutes max and he spends a third of this time staring deeply into caleb’s eyes, another third giving away state secrets, and the other third saying the most out of pocket batshit things like he expected his swag to carry him through any trials and/or tribulations. he called beau’s cocktail racist and then dipped. they invite him in to dinner and he’s like ‘yeah i made my dad so angry he died. normal. anyways what are your innermost driving motivations, wishes, and fears? is this how conversation works?’ and the nein collectively were just like it’s ok he’s hot. and you KNOW he’s all up in his mind with the whole tortured genius melancholy resignation sadness angst thing and it’s like baby no you’re just bizarre and unusual. god.

#i’m lesbian and he’s gay and i think we could make it work somehow #critical role #essek thelyss #cr #the mighty nein #tm9 #mighty nein #cr2 #shadowgast #cr shitpost #critical role essek #essek #caleb widogast #essek cr #beauregard lionett

[murderandcoffee]

ok i’m back on my bullshit. trans archives agenda time

martin has trouble with health insurance at some point and has to go off t for a while, so his period comes back and he is Suffering. he asks if anyone has any painkillers (specifically vague) and tim’s like “yeah bro i gotchu” and hands him a midol. and martin just looks at him in panic like …does he know?? and tim is just like 😬 don’t mind me i’m just a normal cis guy with normal cis guy painkillers and neither of them ever mentions it again

tim wears a binder underneath his usual buttoned shirts, and likes to keep the top couple buttons undone. people just tend to assume it’s a tanktop, but sasha knows. she’s traded clothes with him a dozen times already

sasha gets bottom surgery and while she’s in recovery tim brings her food every day, and sits with her and tells her what she missed at work. he makes up funny stories that get more and more ridiculous until she’s finally like “okay tim i KNOW you’re lying this time” and he shrugs and replies “all trans men know is make friend laugh, eat doughnut, and lie”

jon gets top surgery but doesn’t tell any of his coworkers what procedure he’s having done, just that he’s having surgery. he’s out of work for weeks, and when he comes back martin notices that he’s no longer wearing what he’d assumed was an undershirt. martin doesn’t think anything of it. tim, however, notices that jon is veeeeery cautious about lifting his arms over his head and is just like ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) i see u, boss (and goes out if his way to retrieve everything that’s on high shelves for jon, who continues to act like nothing is up)

elias sneaks into the archives on the first day of pride month to set a little jar of trans flags in the break room. he does not admit to doing this. he watches from his office as the archives descends into chaos

#yes elias somehow manages to be a trans transphobe #he’s also a gay homophobe. he contains multitudes #tma #the magnus archives #magpod #martin blackwood #tim stoker #sasha james #timothy stoker #jon sims #jonathan sims #elias bouchard #trans archives #bs.txt

[sincerelystesichorus]

helluva meme dump 1

helluva meme dumps | pt. 1 | pt. 2 || fizzy editions! | pt. 1 | pt. 2

#fizzmodeus has joined my otp train ugh i love them #stolas is so me i never thought id see somehow rival my gay nightmare vibes but he's outdone me #helluva boss #helluva boss memes #fizzmodeus #fizzarolli #fizzarozzie #helluva boss asmodeus #stolas goetia #stolas #blitzø #helluva boss blitz #loona helluva boss #pt 2 exists...in my queue kdjkdfs #qb #qb shitposts #helluva meme dump

[thresholdbb]

what's the threshold theory

There was a post about how Tom is the only crew member who isn't really affected by the Borg, and there's a theory that he has so much luck because he saw the past and the future when he crossed the transwarp threshold. He saw the past and the future, all of time and space. There's some subconscious part of him that remembers that experience. In fact, Tom refused to play a part in Chakotay indulging Annorax's temporal incursions, probably because a part of him knew nothing good could come of it.

If we extend that same theory to Janeway, some of her wild luck with time travel and other crack plans starts to make sense. She doesn't verbally hate time travel until after the events of Threshold, since it happens in Time and Again without complaint. Janeway has an uncanny knack for time travel, as evidenced every time she deals with it. She hates time travel, but it might be because part of her knows exactly how to manipulate the timeline. She manages to avoid the "inevitable" temporal explosion in Future's End, saving both Voyager and Braxton. She resets the entire timeline in Year of Hell, and no one else followed her reasoning. She pulled it off flawlessly. In Relativity, she senses the incidents are all related, despite it being just one reading that connects them. By the time she's involved, she has a temporal incursion factor of .0036 and a time travel protocol named after her, even if that may just be Braxton's personal grudge. Then there's Endgame, where she intentionally changes the timeline. Up until this point, she has been dragged into time travel, but for the first time, she jumps in on purpose. How does Admiral Janeway know how to get them home sooner in a way that completely avoids the Temporal Integrity Commission? It's because she has seen all of time, and part of her knows exactly what needs to happen so she can get Voyager home and do it in a way that becomes baked into the prime timeline. Maybe she doesn't consciously remember what happened during her transformation, but the experience lives in her mind somewhere, guiding her decisions.

#every day is threshold day #tldr threshold cemented the time travel shenanigans #we're not counting her disparagement of time travel in relativity i know it's technically before threshold #but they've messed with the timeline so much that her past timeline is also changed. #Time travel is funny because the past is the future the future is the past #so while relativity comes before threshold in the prime timeline her timeline has also been changed in a way that it wasn't before threshol #we could chalk it up to a writing oversight but this is more interesting #not to mention her uncanny luck with the Borg which I think ties in as well #it's part of why her instinct is so strong #also the bio neural gel packs but that's a different theory #listen she's amazing with or without having seen all of time and space but she has seen all of time and that must have affected her somehow #those little salamander babies also have all of the cosmos in their mind #tried to explain as concisely as possible but it is part of my overarching theory #she doesn't second guess herself nearly as much following their jaunt into transwarp #I have more but I'm trying to be brief cause it's written up partially in my drafts somewhere and i have some things i need to do today lol #meta #Star Trek voyager #Kathryn janeway #threshold day #did you expect me thresholdbb to not have a serious threshold theory? #listen I can make anything nonsense and turn anything into a serious theory I was known for this kinda bs in grad school #I wrote a 25 page paper on NOTHING once #I wrote a paper about how corn fields were super gay and it made my professor cry I can spin the bullshit it is one of my skills

[topchomp]

been reading the locked tomb novels and i'm on the verge of death

#gideon the ninth #harrow the ninth #nona the ninth #ianthe #somehow didnt expect it to be THIS gay

[shootingst4rpress]

the reason so many modern ‘feminist’/’gay’ retellings of classic stories or mythology are shit is because no-one wants to actually engage with a work on its own terms anymore. nobody wants to actually analyse and dig into the themes of a work they just want to plaster over it with what they consider self serving and ‘trendy.’ so instead of actually ANALYSING what a myth could say about women, or gay people, or society at the time in general, it just gets rewritten again and again to say what the author wants it to say. braindead fucking culture

#this is why i despise a/g/l #the people who present it as 'LOOK there WERE gays in medieval lit' are like. okay there were gays in medieval lit #and they (drawing from galehaut and lancelot here since that's what i know about) have incredibly important and interesting things to say #about gay love in their time #and about wider trends in society such as courtly love #but nobody wants to actually ENGAGE with those themes and dig into the texts to see what they do actually say #people just want to read something that caters to them perfectly #to elaborate this isn't about people who genuinely enjoy modern interpretations of a/g/l this is about people who claim it is somehow True