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coffee-n-bagels-comic-universe · 2 years

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Superheroes with Secrets: Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus (Fic Part 187. Set in 2002)

Around 2000 Words. 18+ in places. Please inform me if you wish to be tagged/untagged from posts.

Tags: @tantamount-treason @piratewithvigor @thedollmaker16

Reference Posts: ‘Giantess’/‘Blacklight Bandit’ Kirby Roussimoff x Shane ’Hurricane’ Helms (Circa 2001)

"That does sound nice. Very nice."

"You cut yourself a slice of cake, I'll get comfy on the couch."

"Yes ma'am." He smiles, pushing up from his seat and turning to cut a slice, showing off his back, covered in long lines of welts and some broken skin marks. Evidence of Kirby's lust painted across his body.

"Wow, Shane, starting to think Kirby's a hurricane of love." Dee chuckles softly.

"I wouldn't argue that. She likes claiming me."

"Yeah, likes claiming you a lot, looks like a werewolf attacked you." Jeff adds

"Kinda feels like it, but it also feels damn good."

"Like when Dee bites my collarbone a little too hard and leaves marks, feels like a vampire attack, but it's really fucking good." Jeff nods in agreement with Helms.

"Oh man, yeah. Love losing a little blood."

"Men are so confusing, I swear we're a different species." Kirby whispers, making Delilah laugh.

"Don't kink-shame." Helms laughs.

"I'm not kink-shaming, I'm making a joke because I'm the one who marks you up and gets off because you get off."

"We both like marking me up."

"Do you reckon Catwoman marks up Batman when they have sex?"

"Absolutely she does. He has a pain kink and she has claws."

"What about Superman and Lois Lane?"

"I don't think Supes even knows what sex is."

"Imagine explaining sex to Superman." Kirby murmurs, earning a couple giggles from Delilah.

"He's a Kansas farm boy. Sex doesn't exist there." Helms chuckles.

"Is this a veiled way of saying that because I'm a North Carolina ranch kid, I didn't know much about sex until you came alone, because that's pretty accurate."

"It's more like in Kansas, they're farm people and they're religious. Hardly any sex ed anywhere."

"So… the Godwin family, or Hillbilly Jim?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

"Who, what, wait a minute."

"Country boys, Dee, wrestling gimmick stuff."

"Yeah. The hillbillies who wrestled Trips in a pig truck."

"Trips?" Delilah asks, totally confused.

"Hunter Hearst Helmsley, Triple H, Trips." Kirby explains softly.

"Sorry, I spend so much time around only wrestlers I forget I may as well be speaking Greek." Helms chuckles sheepishly.

"Glad I can translate, sexy husband." Kirby murmurs, pulling Helms into a gentle kiss and messing with his hair.

"You speak enough other languages that I translate for, so I guess this is fair." He smiles.

"It's why we go so well together, we can translate each other."

"Cause we're so damn good at communicating."

"Communication is key to a happy marriage, and I couldn't be happier." Kirby grins.

"Neither could I."

Kirby pulls Helms into another kiss, placing her forehead against his.

"To the couch?" He murmurs.

"Yeah, to the couch… snuggling time."

"Bitchin'." He grins.

Kirby leads Helms to the tv room, laying on the couch and letting him lay on top of her.

He's on his side, nuzzled up to her bump and sighing happily, "Your Mama's a cougar," he murmurs to Lilith, "she scratched Daddy good and hard."

"More like a tiger than a cougar, or a lioness."

"Well, a cougar is also a sexy older woman."

"Yeah, but I don't have good connotations of that word, I have Mae Young and Fabulous Moolah connotations of the word cougar, I don't like it."

"Panther, then?"

"I like that, similar to a cougar but darker and in my opinion, sexier."

"Way sexier."

"You're very sexy yourself, my hero."

"Not as sexy as you."

"Thank you baby daddy, I love you."

"I love you too."

"You make my heart sing, mon amour."

"Do I really?"

"Yeah, a melody I cannot describe or sing to you."

"I think I understand the melody."

Kirby strokes his hair gently, smiling at him and sighing softly.

"You feeling okay?"

"Yeah, I'm okay, super tired though, but that's about it." Kirby whispers.

"You've been really tired today…"

"Reading paperwork all day will do that to ya, haven't managed to catch a break from it since last Saturday."

"Glad it's nothing illness-related."

"If I were ill, we wouldn't be snuggling, don't want you getting sick when I'm sick, Shaney baby."

"That's sweet, but I'd catch anything to help you feel better."

"I love you, mon mari, you're so nice to me… can I make one request for tonight, my love?"

"Of course."

"Can we just sleep, I know that you're probably gonna want to make love and make me feel like a princess, but I just want to sleep tonight, mon mari."

"I don't mind, honey. If you need to sleep, so be it."

"Thank you, mon ange, you are so sweet to me."

"Well, you are the birthday girl."

"Thank you for reminding me, I'm so old, Shane, I'm super old." Kirby murmurs, fake pouting.

"Honey, you're not old."

"I'm older than you, and most of our friends."

"And I'm the second oldest."

"True, so it's not so bad being older than everyone, means I have more experience with the world."

"Exactly."

"But it also makes us the ones who have to be more responsible… more adult."

"Anyone is more adult than the Hardys."

"Yeah, but currently neither Lita or Delilah is pregnant, however I am, so out of everyone, we have to be the adults, because you succeeded in getting me pregnant, ya giant slayer." Kirby chuckles softly.

"We're everyone's parents."

"Yeah we are, but more importantly, we're Lilith's parents, I'm more protective of her than anyone else."

"Same here. I refuse to let anything happen to her."

"I might have a nap, baby daddy, you alright if I get some more rest?"

"Fine by me."

Kirby settles down to sleep, softly stroking Helms' hair before falling asleep. As she sleeps, he rubs her belly gently, occasionally kissing where he feels Lilith moving. It's such a quiet moment that the only thing that makes any noise is Jeff and Delilah awwing at the sight from the doorway.

"You two gonna stay the night?" He whispers.

"No, we were gonna head out, but we noticed you two in here and couldn't resist peeking in." Delilah explains, looking quite ashamed of herself.

"She's sleeping a lot since Lilith started moving around more."

"Lilith's definitely your kid, Shane, especially if she's moving around a lot even before she's born." Jeff chuckles.

"I'll have to up my workout to keep up with her."

"Both you and the kid are made of strong stuff, but I guess that you made yourself that strong and Lilith is just genetically badass because of you and Kirby."

"She's already half perfect to start with if she's her Mama's kid."

"Guess we'd better be going, so I can get started on making a cousin for your daughter." Jeff smirks.

"Working on that already?"

"Not exactly, but it's not like I'm constantly wearing protection." Jeff shrugs, earning a sigh from Delilah.

"You ol' daredevil."

"You know me so well you green devil, anyway, we'll see ourselves out and I think we'll be back tomorrow with Matt and Lita."

"Good call."

Jeff and Delilah leave the house, the door closing waking Kirby up for a moment before she settles back and goes to sleep. Helms stays on her lap for a while, only moving when he's positive she's fully asleep. Kirby shifts slightly but stays asleep. He sneaks into the kitchen to start working on her actual birthday cake. The one he's making to truly impress her with both cake and decorations.

The house is quiet, unusually quiet except for the kitchen. Everyone's sleeping and Helms is doing his best to be quiet and efficient to let them both rest. Kirby's paperwork and sketchbook is still where she left it in the kitchen, she's been working on her pile of papers for almost two weeks straight and probably will be for another week. It seemingly keeps rising no matter how much she keeps working on it. It's mostly contracts and freelance agreements, but on top of the pile is her financial statements from her accountant and a note from the accountant asking if she wants to make a joint account with Helms.

It's something they've been needing to discuss, but the conversation never feels properly timed. Kirby wouldn't mind if Helms looked through the paperwork and she's made it clear that she doesn't mind him looking through her work. While he waits for the cake to bake, he looks over them a little. Halfway through the pile is a few pages with months written in the top right corner, the see-through folder the pages are in has a sticky note on it which reads 'WWF cruiserweight risqué calendar- do not show Shane'. Helms needs a moment or two to consider what he's seeing.

He decides after a second to open it up. It's full of sketches of the cruiserweight members of the roster, most of which are almost nude and accompanied by the pictures the drawing is based on, along with notes on ideas related to making a calendar from the drawing as an answer to Vince's idea of making a Divas calendar. As soon as he figures out what they are, he closes it quickly, his cheeks bright red. The moment he closes the folder, the egg timer goes off. He rushes over to the oven to take out the cake, trying to take out the cake, trying to get the images out of his mind.

For every three sketches of the others on the roster there was one sketch of Helms, some marked with 'v-2' or 'version-two' implying that Kirby has drawn the pictures of him twice, possibly one nude and one almost nude. Seeing him drawn by Kirby always makes him a little embarrassed. She sees him in a much better light than he sees himself. It doesn't help his embarrassment that in one drawing the only thing covering his crotch was his cape draped over him. He just prays he'll stop blushing by the time either her or Shannon wakes up. There's a small noise from the tv room, Kirby moving a little or possibly waking up.

Helms closes all the documents and stacks them exactly how they were. The house once again falls silent. He exhales in quiet relief and resumes decorating the cake. It took Helms a couple attempts but he's finally found the perfect way to decorate the cake. He's got it a soft peach with little piped roses along the edge.

It looks like one of those cakes you would see on a bakers Instagram page or Pinterest. When he pipes on the last little leaf, only then does he exhale in relief. It slowly dawns on Helms that he's got to find somewhere to put the cake. Using one of their biggest bowls as a cover, he gets it into the fridge and pretty well-hidden at the back.

"Shane, my love," Kirby calls from the tv room, "what's the time, sexy husband?"

"Just after four, hon."

"What would you like for dinner, mon amour?" She asks, slowly walking into the kitchen.

"Is it cheesy to say you?"

"Yes, but I'll allow it."

"You."

"Come feast on me, you sexy beast." Kirby teases as she gets undressed in front of Helms.

"My favourite snack." He smirks.

Kirby giggles, "Oh my love."

"Lie down for me?"

"How about we change things up a little, and you lay down for me?"

"Mm, that's different." He grins, following her instructions.

Kirby kneels over his face, her knees either side of his head, "you okay with this, mon ange?"

"Perfectly fine with this. Best view in the house."

"Don't just look at me, sexy husband, make a meal out of my love."

"With pleasure." He smirks, grasping her thighs and plunging his tongue into her.

Kirby moans in ecstasy, "oh fuck me."

"Could do that too." He chuckles.

"You could, but wouldn't you rather make me cum like this and then fuck me?"

"Absolutely I would."

"So, after you make me cum, then you can fuck my brains out, my hero."

#superheroes with secrets #shane hurricane helms #kirby roussimoff #blacklight bandit #orange and green - the perfect team #shannon brian moore #sws #kirby andrea roussimoff #delilah keshet rosenbaum #gregory shane helms #jeffrey nero hardy #matthew moore hardy #lita hardy

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books-and-catears · 3 years

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Just to be funny, let’s have the Brothers react to an MC who makes valid points or says really out of pocket things when they annoy or demean them. Literally the minute they comprehend what happened in the student council, they would go:

“So you randomly picked my basic ass for a program in the Devildom to mend the three realms without my knowledge or consent, while I’m around demons that could kill and eat me; yet your resolve is to have me stay with stronger demons that could still kill and eat me? 😐”

When Belphie’s on his whole “I hate humans, bleh bleh” bullshit. MC would say with a blank face:

“Bitch, I hate humans too. I know we suck but humans didn’t make Lilith fall for her dying lover and break the celestial rules to try and heal him. That’s on her and you need to sit down. 😑”

Everyone’s like: “MC can fix the brothers”

MC: Do I look like Bob the Builder? I can barely fix myself 🗿

Literally there’s so many things that need to be said unfiltered 😭

First of all I freaking love this so much. Like just reading your request has me wheezing. Thank you so much for this hope I can do this justice cause this is hilarious 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Ah might contain spoilers from chapters 12 to 20.

Lucifer: *crushing their fingers* I swear MC if you do anything to hurt my family, I will not spare you.

MC: Lucifer with all due respect, I cannot even stop you from breaking my fragile human fingers. Do I look like someone who has the power or productivity to make some elaborate plan and go after seven most powerful demons of hell?

Lucifer: ...well I suppose that's fair.

_____________________________________

Mammon: Oi stupid human! Be more careful cause I can't be around to take care of you always!

MC: That's rich coming from a guy who has made so many bad decisions that he seems to be either in debt or be hung from the ceiling all the damn time. *Walks away*

Mammon: ....

Mammon: Oi, you didn't need to call me out like that!

__________________________________

Levi: MC I won't allow this! How dare you know more about TSL than me?!

MC: How can you possibly complain about being a LONELY otaku when you're clearly trying to kill the only person who understands your love for anime in this house?

Levi: ....uh oh.

___________________________________

Satan: How dare you refuse to make a pact with me? What are you even good for?

MC: Well certainly good enough for a powerful demon desperate enough to threaten me into making a pact with him?

Satan: ....listen here you sassy little shit-

___________________________________

Asmo: MC, your hair looks hideous! Did you not brush it at all?!

MC: Asmo I'm too busy trying to live in LITERAL hell crawling with ACTUAL DEMONS. Unless you have magic brush that gives me automatic defences, I doubt my visual appeal can be enough to save me.

Asmo: I disagree with what you said but I think your backtalk is sexy.

___________________________________

Beel: How could you eat my cream puff MC?! That was mine! Now I'll eat you up!

MC: First of all, I will most definitely taste DISGUSTING cause I have too many health issues my insurance didn't cover. Second of all, this isn't the bloody apocalypse - you can just buy another one from the bakery. *Tosses him another pastry*

Beel: ....Sorry MC.

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Belphie: Humans are the most disgusting and selfish creatures. They all should die. If they never existed Lilith would still be here.

MC: Weren't you the one who got her interested in the human world in the first place? And things only went bad cause the human was dying. And while I do agree with the general distaste against humans - they didn't create themselves to be mortal, God did. So don't go pinning your daddy issues and misplaced anger issues on me. I was not even close to exisisting when all that happened.

Belphie: ..... I'm going back to sleep.

____________________________________

Diavolo: MC I've never met a human as capable as you. Only you can fix this chaotic household.

MC: Diavolo, you've been nothing but sweet to me, but do you seriously think I'm a bloody demon therapist?! Bro, I have years worth of trauma and issues of mine I'm yet to deal with and you think I'm capable of solving the domestic squabbles of seven immortal demons who have been around for literal millennias?

Diavolo: Uh...yes?

MC: Barbatos take me to your room I want to go back to the previous timeline.

#obey me ask #obey me funny #obey me dark humor #obey me dry humor #obey me angst #obey me Lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me Levi #obey me asmo #obey me Satan #obey me beel #obey me Belphie #obey me Diavolo #obey me imagine

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adorasgayass · 3 years

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No Strangers To Love: Never Gonna Give You Up

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4

Summary:

THIS IS A JOKE

After an unbearable time apart, bitter exes, Lilith and Hooty, are forced to spend time together as they plan their rebellion against Emperor Belos. Will they get back together? Or will they be strangers to love once more? Will they run around and desert each other? Or will they never give each other up?

Read on AO3 | Co-written with @lumiity

Notes: Exclusive art on AO3

Hooty watches the beautiful witch holding him in her arms as she begins to cry. Hooty itches to do something as she turns away from him, covering her eyes with her arm as her sobs begin to shake her whole body.

“Hoot hoot,” Hooty moves closer to her, “Why are you crying? Is something wrong, beautiful emo witch?”

“You really-” her voice hitches as she wipes away her tears, “You really don’t remember me, Hootcifer?”

“I-” Hooty scans her face, something tugging at his memories at the back of his head. But before he can think about it too long, a sharp knock comes at the door.

The rest of the people in the room scatter in all different directions, save for the beautiful woman, a human child, a small dog-like thing, and a grey-haired witch in a bright red dress. The grey-haired witch opens the door and Hooty can just barely see two people in guard uniforms.

“Are you,” one of them looks at a paper, then backs up, “Eda the owl lady? We were told that you were behind the attack on Emperor Belos’ castle.”

“I’m not Eda,” the witch says, crossing her arms. “Now if you’ll excuse me-”

“Hey, wait,” the other guard squints at Hooty, then at the beautiful witch holding him. “I know you two. You guys are the happy couple who got engaged today! What a coincidence!”

“What?” Hooty struggles to remember. “I don’t hoot-”

The beautiful witch covers his beak with her hand and says, “We sure are! This is our engagement party.”

Hooty moves his face from her hand then licks his beak, “Yum, yum, yum.”

The grey-haired witch glares at him, “What the actual fuck, Hooty?”

“You taste,” Hooty moves his tongue around his mouth, “familiar somehow.”

“For Titan’s sake!” the grey-haired witch yells. “There are children here!”

Hooty glances at the human and dog thing, who both look moderately horrified. But the beautiful witch touches a hand to Hooty’s face and all thoughts of emotionally scarring children leaves Hooty’s mind. He turns to face her and is captivated by her wide teal and grey eyes.

“Please try, Hootcifer,” her voice is soft and pleading, “Try to remember me. I love you, Hootficer. You are the Romeo to my Juliet.”

“I know that story, hoot,” Hooty perks up, “I even remember a quote! ‘See how she eats that rat. Oh, that I were a rat that I might be in her mouth, hoot hoot.’”

"That's not the line," the grey-haired witch grumbles.

"Do you know what's happening, Michelle?" He hears one of the guards whisper from behind him.

"I think it's foreplay?" The other answers. "Maybe we shouldn't be here, El."

But Hooty is not paying attention to any of them as the beautiful witch leans closer, "You are the hottest owl tube that was spawned in hell by a long furby and a tapeworm that I have ever met."

The words are familiar and suddenly, everything clicks into place. Hooty's eyes begin to tear up as he looks at Lilith, "Lulu?"

"Do you remember me?" Lilith flings her arms around his tube body, "Oh, Hootcifer!"

"Oh, come on," Eda groans as Lilith brings her mouth to Hooty's beak, "No one wants to see that."

"Well-"

"I swear if that horse says another word, I will cut his tongue out of his fucking mouth and shove it down his throat."

But Hooty is too busy paying attention to a different tongue being shoved down his throat to pay anyone else any mind.

When they finally pull apart, Lilith places a cool hand on Hooty’s cheek, which he leans into.

“I really thought I lost you, Hootcifer,” tears are streaming down Lilith’s pale face, “I do not know what I would do without you. I do not know if I would be able to live.”

“Oh, my dearest Lulu,” Hooty licks away a tear from her face, savouring the saltiness. “You are my everything, hoot hoot. I am so sorry that we argued. It’s just-”

Hooty lets himself trail off, too embarrassed to continue.

“Just what, sweetheart?” she asks him, “Please, tell me, honey bear.”

“I just-” Hooty takes a breath, “Hoot, I just never felt good enough for you. Especially compared to your exes.”

“My exes?” Lilith’s delicate blue eyebrows scrunch together, “How come?”

“You’ve dated such intimidating people, hoot hoot,” he turns away from her, “Emperor Belos, Count Olaf, Madame Carp, Mother Gothel, Levana Blackburn, Evander Wade. They are all so fucking hot and I’m just another owl tube that was made by a tapeworm and a long furby procreating in the deep, fiery pits of hell.”

“But you dated Evander Wade too,” Lilith points out.

“Yeah, hoot hoot,” Hooty shrugs, even though he does not have shoulders, “but I know that Evandy always liked you better.”

“Oh, Hootcifer,” Lilith gives a small smile, “It doesn’t matter who he liked more. Don’t you get it? I love you . I always have. So please, just this once, stay.”

“Why does that sound so familiar,” Hooty hears Swift Wind say from a few feet away but he is not listening.

“Oh, Lulu,” Hooty breathes, “Of course I will stay, hoot hoot. I will never leave you again, my beautiful emo witch.”

Lilith wipes a tear from the corner of her eye between leaning closer to Hooty, “I’m never gonna give you up, my dearest Hootcifer.”

“And I’m never gonna let you down, my sexy Lulu, hoot hoot.”

#final chapter so sad :(((#hoolilith #hooty #lilith x hooty #lilith clawthorne #hooty x lilith #crack ship #fandom crack #toh #the owl house #****this is a joke yall #okay now suffer yall <333

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hallospaceboyy · 4 years

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I loved the Marith x reader fic you did, could I request the reader making Lilith and Mary breakfast in bed? (cause they both deserve it)

Breakfast in Bed

AN: This turned into smut and I'm v sorry if that's not what you wanted lmao. It's also cute tho!!

Warning for smut

You're not exactly the best of cooks, but you want to do something nice for your ladies, so you sneak out of bed with the intention of making them breakfast. You can just about manage chocolate chip pancakes, pile them onto two plates and place them on a tray. Then you fill a bowl with strawberries, make coffees for the three of you, tentatively carry the laden tray to the bedroom.

You knock into the door with the edge of the tray as you enter the room, mutter a curse under your breath as Lilith groans and Mary opens her eyes to look at you sleepily.

“What are you doing up, love?” She murmurs, stretching herself out, and your eyes flit to her bare breasts with a smirk when the covers slip down her body.

“I wanted to treat my girls. I made breakfast.” You set the tray down on the bed and Mary's eyes light up as she gasps in delight, a grin on her face.

“Lilith! Y/N made us breakfast!” She swats Lilith's ass over the top of the duvet, and Lilith rolls over from her position splayed out on her front. You grin at her mess of wild brunette hair, and Lilith instantly cups your cheek and kisses you softly, humming against you.

“I'm glad you find my bedhead amusing.” She pecks your nose, and you giggle, picking up her coffee and passing it to her.

“Thank you darling. What’s the occasion?”

Mary grabs her own coffee, eyes fluttering closed as she takes a sip, and you rest a hand on her thigh.

“No occasion. I just love you both, and you're always taking care of me. I thought I'd return the favour.”

You watch with pride as they both begin to dig in to their pancakes, slurping at your own coffee and delighting in the warmth that immediately spreads through you.

“This is delicious, baby.” Mary grins, and you crawl to sandwich yourself between them, settling against the pillows. This is your favourite place, being between the two of them, the place you feel most content.

Lilith has already cleared her plate, wolfed down the contents before sliding the plate back onto the tray, and then she turns to the side and leans into you, peppering kisses to your cheek and wrapping an arm around your waist.

“You know that we love taking care of you. We don't expect anything in return, kitten. Do we Mary?”

“Of course not!” Mary exclaims with her mouth full, and you laugh. “I love taking care of our girl, spoiling you rotten.”

“Well, you two just make me so happy, and I want you to know that, feel as happy as you make me.”

“We do know, and you make us just as happy.” Lilith mumbles against your cheek, and you smile, grabbing a strawberry from the bowl and holding it out to her. She pulls away from you to take a bite, and you watch her lips, entirely distracted by them.

Mary has finished now, and nuzzles into your other side, and she grips your wrist and takes the rest of the strawberry into her mouth, licking at your fingers.

“This was supposed to be a cute, kind gesture, and it's very quickly turning sexy.” You mumble, laughing and pulling your hand away from Mary's mouth.

“Well, then maybe you should have foregone the strawberries, darling.” Lilith grins, turning her eyes to Mary's naked form as she stands to remove the tray from the bed, leaving the bowl of strawberries behind, and Lilith winks at her.

Mary crawls into your lap, and you smirk, stroking your hands up her thighs, watching intently as she takes a strawberry with slender fingers and brushes it against your lips. You take a bite, and the juice drips down your chin, and Mary is quick to pull the strawberry away and lick it from your chin.

Lilith moves to straddle your legs behind Mary, pressing herself to Mary's back, and she takes a strawberry and bites into it, and then reaches around Mary's slender body and glides the fruit over her chest, around the swell of her breasts, over her nipples, and Mary arches her back as Lilith leaves the sticky trail.

You watch with darkening eyes, and you look to Lilith over her shoulder, devilish smirk on her lips, a single brow arched.

“Lick it up, kitten.”

You don’t need to be told twice, immediately lick from Mary's sternum to throat, moaning against her, then follow the sticky trail along the underside of each breast before circling her nipples, taking each into your mouth and sucking in turn. Mary releases a soft whine, hands tangling into your hair and leaning back against Lilith.

The demoness makes the most of Mary's parted legs, snakes a hand there to toy with her clit and she bucks her hips and arches further as you bite at her pebbled nipple.

“O-Oh...” Mary moans, and Lilith chuckles against her shoulder, presses a kiss there. “We should have strawberries for breakfast more often.”

“I agree.” You breathe against her, biting into a strawberry and leaving a trail of juice down the side of her throat, and then licking it away, sucking a delicate purple mark onto her pale skin.

Lilith is rubbing firmly at Mary's clit now, and she’s writhing and whining as you continue to glide strawberries over her skin, continue to lick it away hungrily and then she’s coming apart at Lilith's ministrations, reaches a hand up to tangle in Lilith's hair, tugging on it as she comes, and you flick your tongue over her nipple, groaning against her as she wriggles in your lap.

Mary slumps against Lilith, and the demoness chuckles and wraps her arms around her, peppering soft kisses to her neck, her jaw, her cheek. You watch the two of the fondly, so very in love with the two of them, and how very in love with each other they are. It warms your heart that you've all found happiness, so comfortable with each other, content with the way the three of you live in perfect harmony. It just works, and you wouldn't have it any other way.

“I love you both so much.”

Mary wriggles herself from Lilith's grip to cup your cheeks, and kisses you softly, tongue flicking at your bottom lip.

“I love you too, precious girl.”

“Mm, me too.” Lilith hums, crawling from her place behind Mary to collapse at your side, and when you look down at her she has a strawberry between her teeth, and you grin, leaning down to bite the tip of it that sticks from her mouth.

“I think it must be her turn to get all sticky now.” Mary smirks, gesturing to her own sticky chest and neck from being covered in fruit juice.

“I won't complain.” Lilith bites her lip and spreads her legs, and you're already making your way to lay between them, hot breath ghosting her core, as Mary shifts off of you and grabs a strawberry, ready to taint the brunette's flawless skin with it's sweet juice.

#marith x reader #marith #madam satan x reader #madam satan #original mary wardwell #mary wardwell x reader #mary wardwell

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themoonandotherslikeit · 5 years

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The Look in Her Eyes- Chapter 33

***While on a case, Dean and Sam meet a beautiful woman, Ava. She makes a large impression on the brothers, and ends up convincing them to take her on the road with them. It isn’t long before the shared experience, car rides, motel rooms, and risky cases pushes Ava and Dean together in an unlikely story of love, family, fate, and friendship.***

Chapter Thirty-Three, Her Hair Tie

Dean

Thirty Weeks Along

"Morning beautiful." I said with a yawn, draping my arm around Ava's large mid section. She turned to look at me. Her mouth was a gaping black hole, stretching and turning, the gray sunken skin on her cheeks morphed, her empty eyes looked towards me, but nowhere at all. I flinched and closed my eyes.

"Mmm. I'm so sleepy."

When I opened my eyes again she looked normal, beautiful, and sleepy. We were out of time. I could feel the hell hounds licking my ankles already.

Our plan wasn't ideal. Ruby found out that Lilith was on vacation.

"What does a demon do on vacation?" Ava asked, folding her arms across her chest.

"Trust me, you don't want to know." Ruby said flatly. "But her guard will be down. It's our best chance."

"Do you know where she will be?"

"I'm working on that."

Any day now I was toast. It had been 24 weeks. We were using any precaution to keep the dogs away from me, but there were only so many herbs. There were only so many ways to push this off. It was happening. Maybe it was time to say goodbye.

"Dean?"

"I'm sorry, did you say something?"

She closed her eyes. "I said, I think I need glasses. My pregnancy vision is getting really bad."

"You'd look cute in glasses." I held her cheek, rubbing circles with my thumb. "Like a sexy librarian."

"You wish."

"I do." I said kissing her lips. She was warm and familiar. She tasted like sleep. Like home.

"God, put your dick away." Ruby groaned. "We found Lilith."

Ava and I sat up and looked at each other. Shit. Here goes nothing.

"We are leaving in 10." Ruby said before stomping out.

"I guess I'm out of here." I said, kissing her temple. I swung my legs over the side of the bed.

"You're? I'm going."

"No, you're not. We don't have time to argue."

"You're right, we don't." She said in frustration.

"I can't risk you getting hurt." I said, glancing at her.

I slid into my jeans, and clipped the button.

"And I'm not ready to say goodbye. I can help."

I frowned. They didn't tell you about this part when you get married. It's all flowers and kisses on your wedding day. They don't tell you that your wife will want to walk into the fire next to you. Stubborn woman. She was obviously made for me. I turned to her, grabbing her face in my hands. "You will not die for me. Do you hear me? You can come, but the moment it gets hairy you get out of there." I stared into her crystal blue eyes. "You have to keep Peanut safe, because I can't."

She softened at this, and she nodded. "Kiss me."

"Always." I pressed my mouth to hers urgently. I wanted more time. Even though it was a long shot, I needed this to work.

Ava

Liliths vacation spot was only a few hours away. Dean seemed distant, fiddling with his wedding ring, and looking out the window. He was in the back seat with me, claiming sarcastically that we could fool around while Sam drove. The reality, though, is that there was something going on inside his head. I saw the way he looked at me when I woke up that morning. He was afraid.

"Hey, feel." I said, pressing his hand to the space above my belly button where our baby was kicking away.

This seemed to relax him, the wrinkles in his face relaxed and his head dropped to look at my belly.

I pinched the bridge of my nose. I'd been fighting a hell of a headache in the last week, and I hadn't mentioned it because, fuck we had other problems.

"So what's the plan?" I asked Sam and Ruby.

"We will have to take her off guard." Ruby said, pulling into the neighborhood, it was twilight.

"So let's just go in. She won't expect it." Dean said flippantly.

"Oh, please." Ruby said. "See the mail man? How frequently do they deliver this late in the evening?"

I turned to look at who she was referencing. "He is a demon?"

"And the man who has been watering the bushes over there? He's been watering them constantly since we pulled up. And the woman in the window with the dog?"

"They're all demons?" Sam asked in awe. "Shit."

"Maybe we should back out." Dean said quietly. "Go in smart, or not go in at all."

"No. We are going to try. If we go down, at least we will go down swinging."

"Why, Sam?"

Sam turned from the drivers seat and met Deans eyes. "Because you're my brother, and you'd do it for me."

Sam pulled the car away, so we could regroup. "So what does a demon do for fun?" Dean asked casually, trying to break the ice.

"You don't wanna know." Ruby said, picking at her nails.

Bobby and John we're headed up the rear. We needed to regroup. We needed a plan. We needed a little hope.

Dean

Sam and I leaned against the car. "Hey I just wanted to say if this goes sideways... thanks."

I raised an eyebrow. "For what?"

"For taking care of me."

"Oh, come on, Sammy. If this is my last day on earth let's not spend it doing this."

"You know, she wants me to finish this. Maybe you should let me."

I shook my head. "Sam there's not a lot I know in this world, but I do know that getting in bed with demons is never a good idea. No matter what they offer you."

"You regret your deal?"

"I don't want to go to Hell, Sammy. I won't let any of you be as bone headed as me, because, look me over, I'm not pregnant. I'm not special."

"You're wrong. You are special."

"Are you two done?" Bobby asked, sauntering over to us. "We have a plan."

"Let's hear it." I said shortly.

"We will bait one demon at a time, getting them with the knife. We will poison the water supply with holy water and click on the sprinklers so nothing can enter or exit the house. You should get an element of surprise."

"I'll guard the perimeter." Dad said, meeting my eyes. There'd always been so much contempt there, but now there was something else. "I'll keep the demons away from you."

I turned my face to Ruby when my stomach dropped. I could see her, past her human face. I could see the dark thing beneath. Her black, Smokey skin, her black hollow eyes, and her sharp sinister smile.

"What?" She asked, pursing her lips.

"I just... I didn't know before, but damn you're an ugly broad."

"Dean?" Ava asked me, alarmed.

"I can see her face. Well her face under that face."

"It makes sense." Bobby said slowly. "You're piercing the veil. You can see Hells bitches."

"I am not Hell's bitch." Ruby said with an eye roll.

"That could be useful." Sam said. "Now they won't be able to get the jump on us as easily."

I frowned. "Well I'm glad my damned soul is good for something."

"Dean." Ava said, touching my arm gently.

I looked to her and matched her sad expression. "Sorry." I said, taking her hand.

"We need to hurry." Bobby said, meeting my eyes. "We are running out of time."

I squeezed Avas hand, bringing her knuckles up to my mouth. I pressed a kiss on them, and then on her ring finger. "Let's go."

—————————

We crouched outside of the house. "That's her." I said, with a wince. "The little girl."

Ava peeked into the house, my arm was around her waist.

"Please stay with Bobby." I asked her quietly, holding her hands. Bobby was stationed in an abandoned house across the street, watching, to warn us of what was to come. "I don't think I can focus if you're there."

"I am your partner, Dean. I won't leave your side".

I ran my hands down her back and looked into her blue eyes. "You're so stubborn."

"You love that about me."

"Please don't die." I said, desperately, pressing my forehead to hers.

"You too." She whispered, her breath hot on my lips.

We made a promise to each other that I didn't think I could keep. I just hoped she could keep hers.

"Her?" Ava asked, pointing to the little blonde, no older than 7 years old who was seated in front of a large birthday cake, surrounded by her parents and grandfather. There were tight smiles across their faces.

"Definitely." I said as we crouched back out of view.

"Ready?" She asked me.

"As ready as I'll ever be." I said with a nod.

We got in position. Sam along the side of the house, and Ava crouched over the main water supply.

I purposefully caught the eye of a demon and ran around the home to Sam. The demon followed me, running into the demon blade.

"One down." Sam whispered with a grin.

I drug it's body behind the house so it wouldn't be spotted.

By the third kill I was feeling positive. Maybe I would survive this after all.

"Going out swinging, huh?" I asked Sam with a grin.

"You're not going anywhere."

I shrugged and looked up from behind Sam. "That's yet to be seen." I whispered as I saw the habitants of the houses in the neighborhood out on their porches. Staring at us with black eyes.

"Run." Sam said, as we took off to the front porch of the house, the demons breaking into a run as well. Sam clicked his lock pick in place and began turning it.

The demons were quickly coming to the house. "Come on Sammy!"

"I'm trying!"

Where's Ava?

The sprinklers exploded into action, making the demons scream in pain, but someone was breaking through the holy water.

She dropped her hood and wiggled out of her jacket. I finally let my breath go. "You're a genius."

"Tell me something I don't know." My wife said with a smile.

Sam clicked the lock into place and we were in.

The house was dark. Sam stepped over an older woman's corpse in the doorway. She had obviously been there for days. There were flies on her cheek. Ava covered her nose, and we walked around her.

I unwillingly let go of Ava's hand so we could raise our guns. At best we could get a hit in to slow the demons down if they got through the line of holy water.

There was a creak next to me and I turned to find the husband from the house. I grabbed him, covering his mouth with my hand. "Shh. We are here to help you, but you need to be quiet. Ok?"

The man nodded. "Where is she?"

"Upstairs." He whispered.

"Go downstairs and make a salt line at the door. Don't come out no matter what."

"I can't go without my wife." He hissed.

"You can." I said sharply. "We will get her. Just go." I shoved him away.

He looked alarmed, grabbed the salt shaker off the table and ran toward the stairs.

I met Ava's eyes, and then Sams with a nod. We all slowly went up the stairs. Ruby went in one door, Sam in one, Ava and I in another.

We went into what was obviously the parents room. It was empty. The bed was unmade. It was obvious that the family hadn't slept much since the invasion.

The room was eerily quiet. Ava opened up the closet and shook her head. Empty. As expected. If she wasn't pregnant I may lock her in there to keep her safe. To keep her stubbornness from getting her and our child killed. "Stay here." I told her quietly. "Until it's over."

"No." Her voice was stern and clear. "Don't ask me again." She moved past me, and opened the door again.

I didn't get the chance to ask her again. I was afraid I never would.

I pushed in the door Sam went in. He was hovered over a child's bed. The wife was lying down with her daughter at her side. The child, Lilith, was asleep in a canopy bed. I went around to where Sam stood, with his blade raised.

"Do it!" The woman whispered in desperation. "Do it!"

Sam raised the knife. I glanced at the girl, and she was all I saw. No demonic face under her sleeping one. She was just a child. "Sam! No!"

He looked to me as the child sat up with a scream.

"She isn't Lilith. Not anymore." I told him quietly. I looked to Ava and she nodded.

"Go down to the basement. Your husband is there. You'll be safe."

"You should go to." Sam said, but Ava brushed him off.

"Where's Ruby?" She asked.

"She went into a different room." Sam said slowly.

"We've lost the element of surprise." I said, moving out into the hallway. Ruby burst out of the room she had been in.

"Can Lilith get past the holy water?" Sam asked her.

"With her pay grade she isn't sweating some holy water."

We went down the stairs as a group. The hairs on the back of my neck were standing straight up. My time was out. It was over. Lilith was gone, and I was going to Hell.

We stood in the dining room. The house was empty except for us and the family. It was fucking over.

"Okay, Ruby, I'm in." Sam said, turning to the blonde.

"What do you mean?" Ruby asked.

"What do I have to do to save Dean? You told me you have a solution, I'm on board."

"You has your chance. It's too late. I told you I had a solution but that was before. We needed time. This isn't just a switch. Dean is dead, and we need to get out of here before we are all dead too."

"There has to be a way. Whatever it is I will do it." He said intensely. I grabbed at Sam. I had to stop him. He wouldn't die for me. I wouldn't let him. "Dean no! Stop! I'm not going to let you go to Hell."

"Yes you are. Yes you are. I'm sorry. I did this, but whatever you're trying to do isn't going to save me. It's just going to kill you." I told him, holding him close to me.

"So what am I supposed to do?" He asked, defeated.

"Take care of my wheels. Take care of Ava and my daughter. Keep fighting the good fight, Sammy. Always remember what I taught you."

The clock in the living room chimed. Midnight.

"I'm sorry, Dean." Ruby said. "I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy."

Ava reached for me, but I put out a hand to stop her. I could hear the snarls echo through the room, and there it was. "Hell Hound." I said softly before seeing the creature in front of me. It was a large dog that almost seemed to be made of black demon smoke, but it was more grounded. It's large white teeth dripped with blood and thick saliva, it's black eyes caught sight of me and it charged.

We ran, pushing as hard as we could into a room adjacent. Ruby and Sam held the door shut as Ava and I sprinkled dust along the entrances to the room.

"That won't hold it for long." Ruby said. "Give me the knife, Sam and I'll try to hold it off."

I turned as Sam began to hand the blade to Ruby. Her sharp teeth turned into a smile as her milky white eyes locked onto the knife.

"Sam no! It isn't Ruby."

I could still see her black eyes echoing in my memory.

"Oh boys, you got me." Lilith flashed her white eyes to us a won't a sinister smile. She flicked her fingers sending me flat on my back against the floor, and Ava and Sam pinned against the wall.

"Ava!" I shouted, turning my head to make sure she was okay.

"Where's Ruby?" Sam asked between gritted teeth.

"Gone." Lilith said with a song-song tone. "She was a naughty girl. So I sent her away."

I struggled against her restraint, but I couldn't move. I could still hear the hound scratching at the door.

"Let them go!" I shouted, struggling. This is what I was afraid of. This is why I didn't want her to come.

"We will always be together." Ava said, her fingers laced in mine. It was hard to not believe her when she was still in her wedding gown. "Fate be damned."

She turned to me, her hair blowing in the breeze from the sea. Her lips exposed a row of perfect teeth. I remembered what it felt like the first time I saw her on that shore. She looked so free. She was beautiful.

"I guess in a way we will."

She put her arms around my neck. "In every way."

She kissed me like it was the first time, like it may be the last time. In the life we live we never know what time will be our last.

What time was our last?

"I don't speak to puppy chow." Lilith said with a sweet smile. "Sam." She breathed, walking to him. "I am so pleased to meet you. I've heard all about you." She leaned in and pressed her mouth to my unwilling brother.

"Let my brother out of his deal." He said, his voice surprisingly strong. "I'll give you whatever you want."

Lilith laughed sharply. "Oh silly Sam. You're trying to barter with me when you have nothing I want."

She backed up and took the door in her hand. "Sick 'em boy!" She said, swinging the door open.

Ava

"No!" I cried out. My scream echoing through the silence of the night, through the demons laughter, through Sams one cries.

When you lose everything, time slows, it crawls. I couldn't see the hound, but I could see it's claw marks scratching at the floor as it ran for Dean. He was still held down by Lilith's invisible hand. The creature grabbed at him, pulling him off the table. He screamed out in pain, causing my vision to blur from tears. It was static along the edge, as his flesh ripped from long, hellish claws. Blood poured from his mouth as he cried out, his green eyes searching for me.

I struggled against my own invisible restraints. I felt helpless. I couldn't help him. I was useless. "I'm here, Dean! I'm here!"

He opened his mouth to respond and cried out again. Large gashes appeared on his chest. This was my fault. He did all of this for me.

The hounds claws ran down his right arm, leaving long, deep cuts. Time slowed even more as the claw caught the hair tie around his wrist. It popped open, flying away from his body. I hadn't noticed that he still wore it. It had just become apart of him. Just like I had.

"Is that my hair tie?" I pointed to his wrist.

"Oh, uh yeah. It was on the floor. I figured you'd want it. To put your hair up." He reached for his wrist to take it off, hooking his index finger into it.

I put up a hand to stop him. "No, um. You keep it."

I watched the life drain from his eyes as he stopped struggling against the claws. My heart broke. Pain rolling through my chest. I felt like I couldn't breathe. I wanted to look away, but I couldn't tear my eyes away. His eyes were still wide open.

"Dean! No!" Sam shouted out in pain. Lilith laughed out loud, giggling like a child. The sound of the cruelty in her laughter brought me out of my trance. I turned my eyes to her and Sam as she approached him.

"I will end all the Winchester's left in one fell swoop. Your brother, you, and his little wife and future spawn. All of you will burn. Then I'll go outside and end your Daddy. Finally the thorn in our side will be gone."

Sam struggled against her grip.

Dean was right. I should've never come here. Now his sacrifice would be in vain. We were all going to die here.

Lilith brought her hand up, her eyes glowing yellow. Light radiated from her palm outward. It was so bright I had to look away, like staring into the sun.

The light swallowed Sam whole. I closed my eyes tightly. Tears fell down my cheeks and my head was pounding. I couldn't lose him too. This was wrong. This was all wrong.

"What?" Lilith asked, shocked, as the light dissipated.

I opened my eyes. Sam was okay. His hands were in front of his face to block her attack, but he wasn't harmed. He was on the floor, and he slowly stood. As he did I realized I was no longer held either.

He slowly reached for the knife and stood. His eyes met Lilith's. She looked afraid. He lunged for her, and her mouth opened, smoke rolled out of her, into the vents, and out of the house. Her body crumbled as the last bit of smoke left her body. She fell next to Dean.

We had a moment of silence before we both scrambled to him. I fell to my knees and took his head in my lap. "Dean." I whispered. I pulled him up to my chest and pressed my forehead to his like we had done a hundred times before.

This was how it was always fated to be, but I never believed in fate. We had been preparing for this for 6 months but here I was, not believing it. I ran my fingers along his eyelids, closing his eyes. His apple green eyes disappeared from my view for the last time. I would never see the sarcasm in them, and the way they would sparkle after he kissed me.

With his eyes closed he could almost be sleeping. Almost. Except there was no rise of fall of his chest. Just the warm, wetness of blood. I wept over him, holding his body close.

Sam came up behind me, touching my shoulder. I turned to him to see a tear roll down his own face. He lowered himself next to me, wrapping his arms around me. He needed me as much as I needed him. I looked from him to Dean, and I felt sick to my stomach. There was an intense cramping within my belly, and the corners of my vision came to static. "Ah." I cried out, holding my stomach with my free hand. My head pounded, and rolled into a searing, stabbing pain behind my eyes. I closed my eyes.

"Ava? Are you okay? Ava?"

He sounded far away and then I couldn't hear him at all.

My vision was completely gone. I was overcome by the pain in my head, and the cramping in my belly. I could feel myself drowning as I succumbed to the darkness.

—————

Authors Note:

Y’all this has been a serious labor of love for me. As I’m sure many of you know, I’m an author outside of fanfiction. The last year has been really rough for me, and I found myself and my inspiration again in this show. I wrote 80K+ in a total of two months writing this piece, and by the end of it all I will have over 250K in total. So thank you so much for reading and for keeping up with this story! Now that part 1 is complete I’ll begin uploading part 2 to tumblr. Y’all are seriously so wonderful, your messages and comments mean the world to me. I swear when I get a notification I start foaming at the mouth (maybe I should see a doctor for that IDK)

Thanks again <3 and remember, always keep fighting.

Read Part 2, The Daughter of a Righteous Man

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7 notes · View notes

mycasandstarrs · 6 years

Text

SPN 4x14: “Sex and Violence”

What a tiny foreshadowing moment there. with the meat tenderizer.

It makes me incredibly nervous to hear a person talk in that aggressive tone.

Jesus, dude. Just go to the birthday party.

I would leave the house after that.

RIP Vicki.

Sleeping Dean! It‘s nice to see that he’s under the sheets, sometimes he just sleeps on top of them.

Sam having secret phone calls with Ruby. Boy is he dumb, he could’ve easily taken that outside.

But also,, why not work with Dean to find Lilith??? (I know, I know: psychic powers, demon blood drinking, but also...wouldn’t it matter to Dean to find her? Wouldn’t he at least try to find a way to kill her? Would that be too repetitive of S3? Idek.)

He didn’t even close the door. Sam....

“Want me to paint you a picture?” Does the picture include lies and deceit?

Posing as general attorneys.

Huh, so he was aware that their relationship was a good one and that he loved his wife...(Jumping forward to the end of the episode, does that mean that had either Sam or Dean killed the other, they would have snapped out of it and realized what they had done?)

“Her name was Jasmine.”

“She was a stripper?”

“Dude, her name was Jasmine.” This was another instance of me and Dean saying the exact thing at the same time on my first viewing.

I really like the focus on the eyes.

Uh, it’s “muerto” Dean, but good effort.

Dr. Cara Roberts.

Agent Stiles.

(Cara is really pretty, and she’s got a pleasant voice.)

...did she get an ex-boyfriend’s name tattooed on her? Girl, why?

Agent Murdock, but “Agent” is too formal. Call him Dean.

r e j e c t e d.

OOOoooohhh look at that flirting.

(x)

Huh, so John used their college funds on ammo; one of the perps used their kids’ college fund for the strip bar.

How they described their sirens: “Perfect, and everything they wanted.”

Oh my god, Dean. Don’t get too excited.

“Jasmine, Aurora, and Ariel.” The Disney princess shout out. My childhood just took a bit of a blow.

Huh, Dean is doing his job.

“I stay out of their hair, they stay out of what little I have left.”

MOTE: siren

Special shout out to Dean who knows/has read “The Odyssey.”

(x)

“Let me guess, ‘Welcome to the Jungle.’ No, no. Warrant’s ‘Cherry Pie’”. I’m personally a “Pour Some Sugar On Me” kind of gal.

“Their song is more of a metaphor.”

“If you were a siren in ‘09 looking to ruin a bunch of morons, where would you set up shop?” A strip bar. Very clever.

“So whatever floats the guy’s boat, that’s what they look like?”

“Yeah, you see, sirens can read minds. They see what you want most and then they can kinda, like, cloak themselves.” Oohh, you don’t freaking say.

The Siren was right freaking there.

“Hey, Belle.”

So for Lenny, he wanted someone who admired his love and dedication to his mother?

OH GOD THEIR TRUE FACES ARE HORRIBLE.

(x)

Well, she’s direct about her wanting to kill his mom.

RIP Lenny’s mom. That is truly terrible.

Dean just angrily staring at Sam’s phone, then decides to confirm his worst thought: Sam’s been talking to Ruby behind his back.

Dean shows a lot of restraint; he doesn’t even sound the tiniest bit angry when talking to Sam. I’m impressed.

Bobby, my man!

“A bronze dagger covered in the blood of a sailor under the spell of the song.”

That’s kinda obvious guys...

“Supernatural STD.”

Cara only addressed Sam, but not Dean. That’s rude.

Dean gets a taste of the “third wheel” game.

Convenient freaking timing, bud.

Nick Munroe.

Our first look into how Bobby handles phones. I love it, and I love how Dean has kept up this method.

(x)

The “lone wolves” excuse, shut up Dean.

I can’t believe Dean is reluctant to go to the strip bar.

Nick knows and compliments the Impala...

Welp, the blood’s gone.

Dean’s not even looking at the strippers.

So sirens don’t have specific “songs”, but Nick and Dean are bonding over Led Zeppelin.

Huh, the convenient flower...

Same ones in Cara’s office.

“Haven’t you ever been in a relationship where you really loved somebody and still kinda wanted to bash their head in?” Can’t tell if this alludes to Dean or Ruby.

Also, y i k e s. I’m pretty sure a good relationship isn’t supposed to be like that??? Am I wrong or what??

Drinking on the job!

Huh, so they got divorced and then he died?

“So you two split up?”

“I suppose that’s a word for it.” “He died” is the better ‘word’ tho.

S A M. Your ONLY plan has a huge dent in it, and you can’t even bother telling Dean about it, goddamnit.

Ohhh, sexy fun times coming up.

(Aren’t there security cameras in that office? Cara probably, at least, got in trouble for this.)

It was really plausible that Cara was the siren.

Sam’s hunch was right.

That was the most unconvincing “no” I’ve heard.

“What’s it with you and banging monsters?” That’s a fair question (except Cara ain’t no monster.)

Ouch.

Control that anger, Sam.

Dean calls Bobby, leaves a message, then immediately calls Nick.

How can someone look so shady going into a bar?

Nick making his own pop culture references...then follows Dean’s lead with little hesitation. He also loved Led Zeppelin and admired the Impala. Perfect, and everything Dean wants.

OOHH THAT TINY FATAL MISTAKE.

(x)

O H THAT METAPHORICAL BASS DROP THOOO

(Plot twist. I meant to say “plot twist”, couldn’t find the words for it, and called it a “metaphorical bass drop” instead. Fuck it, I’m keeping it in.)

Surprise, Sam! Your brother wants to kill you!

(x)

“You’re one butt ugly stripper.”

Ok, but why go after Dean first? If Nick had gone after Sam, would he have still been a man? Or did he sense Sam’s attraction to Cara and decided to leave him alone?

“You poisoned him.”

“No, I gave him what he needed. And it wasn’t some bitch in a G-string. It was you. A little brother that looked up to him, that he could trust. And now he loves me.”

“I mean, watching someone kill for you? it’s the best feeling in the world.” Yikes.

Reading is fundamental; the library is open folks!

“You’re hiding things from me. What else aren’t you telling me?”

“We used to be in this together. We used to have each other’s backs.”

“You know why I didn’t tell you about Ruby, and how we’re hunting down Lilith? Because you’re too weak to go after her, Dean. You’re holding me back. I’m a better hunter than you are. Stronger, smarter.”

“You’re too busy sitting around feeling sorry for yourself. Whining about all the souls you tortured in Hell. Boo hoo.”

Sam’s being a complete asshole, at least Dean’s complaints were legitimate.

They’re gonna have to pay for that door.

Couldn’t he just open the little door to get the ax?

BOBBY!