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sneaky-eel · 6 months
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Desmond let this man murder for you!
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clayykaczmarek · 8 months
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STAND FOR THE FLAG‼️‼️‼️
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sombertide-0 · 1 day
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SPIXES AHOY thank you so much @sparrow-in-boots for letting me draw your little guy!!! this was way too fun. I have a few other ideas planned, so you'll probably be seeing more of Sphinxteen (i am so sorry i'll see myself out)
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Day twenty four
Abestrgo Industries was well known as a pharmacual company to the public, however those embroiled in the ancient shadow war knew better. It was the modern face of the Templars. Experimentation, kidnapping, brainwashing, illegal surgeries, etc was their rap sheet. To make matters worse they currently had four great wins under their belts.
First off, Daniel Cross. Their modern day Shay Cormac. Sure the man was fifteen layers of fucked up but that didn't matter. He was like that locked up prized pitbull, the one that won his fights. Six foot tall, and roughly two hundred pounds. He was efficient and effective.
Secondly, the great assassin purge. Vedic knew they didn't get them all but most of the modern assassins fell. It was a bit of a headache to learn that the old school assassins along with their templar counterparts were back but that didn't matter. The modern assassins were weak.
Third, Lucy Stillman has been way too easy to flip. Probably helped that William Miles had abandoned her to his mercy years ago for some minor offense. She had expressed a differing opinion to William and he hated it. But she had been too useful to kill. Vedic even knew that.
Lastly, Clay Kazmarek Subject 16. Though it was a surprise that despite the overexposure to the Animus, he was hanging on but barely. He had hope. Something was fishy about it and Vedic wanted to know why.
Then Daniel Cross brought home the greatest prize. Mentor Miles' son Desmond. He did not pay attention to the fact that the now Twenty five year old wore the Templar Cross in the open. While Desmond was under from the drug Daniel had slipped him, a full medical work up had been done.
Old scars ran along Desmond's body, which Vedic had attributed to his assassin training. Not knowing the truth of the matter.
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rawwkingrimmie64 · 7 months
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Broken
"Your mind, Desmond. It's...broken."
"Broken? I feel fine."
Clay projects himself to be closer to Desmond, only inches away from his face, startling his successor onto the sand.
"So did I!" he laughed, as he faintly recalled what his life was like at the start of it all. In time, it wasn't long, but in the mind? Well, there's a reason he wasn't the same person anymore.
"But who are we kidding, Desmond?" he coldly asked. "No one else is here except for you and me. Nobody that can hear us, anyway. I've been watching you over the past few weeks from right here on this cold little island."
Desmond stood up, trying to comprehend everything that's been thrown at him. It felt every day led to some new crap coming about before he could even make sense of the last
"So you've been here," he asked, looking around "the entire time?"
"Yes, I have. And it feels nice to at least have some company in the flesh now. Metaphorically, anyway. I've been able to see everything you've seen from inside the Animus. Only, instead of a first-person horror, it's been more like a third-person thriller."
"More importantly than that, though, I've been able to feel your emotions and hear your thoughts. From your dreams of Altair to seeing ghosts of Monteriggioni, I could experience it all when you weren't just Ezio inside the Animus, but something...in between. I know you, Desmond. Your fears, your anger, your doubts. Not only have I gone through my own personal Hell ten times worse than yours, but I've experienced you as you see yourself.
"So, no, Desmond, you don't feel fine. You haven't felt fine in years, but that's all a cakewalk compared to the last forty days, isn't it? Burning hot flames, cannon fire, the hollow echo of a gunshot, and sickeningly warm splatter of blood. That's what it meant to be an Assassin during a time of war back then, and you've experienced it all."
"But now? These days? Being an Assassin just means you get thrown into a box for hours on end until your brain breaks apart and you end up losing everything. Your humanity, your sanity, your life, and your very own existence, in that order. It happened to the fifteen Subjects before, then it happened to me, and, if you're stupid enough to stick around long enough, it will happen to you. So do yourself a favor, Desmond. If you ever see an opportunity to get the hell out, take it. Go out knowing that it was your own choice, before someone inside that microscopic Hell helix makes the choice for you."
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You know, if the mural on the altar sliding puzzle in Chrysalis Manor is indeed a child Erin...
I wonder if Hauyne gets deja vu when she saw the portrait? And probably an inexplicable pang of sorrow, strong enough to make her tear up, since she and Erin were rather close friends in their childhood (second childhood, in Hauyne's case) despite only knowing each other for a few months before they were separated.
But she doesn't know why she feels sad when seeing the picture. She's forgotten her friendship with Erin, but her heart still remembers. And it remembers very fondly, which made it hurt even more when she realised that she had lost her first friend to Vitus.
Perhaps that is the incident that caused her to take the generational, aeons-long feud her kind has with Vitus more personally.
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akisata-moved · 1 year
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i want to know more about ryo's mom so bad
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thetreetopinn · 6 months
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Sources for Somerton's Plagiarism from Hbomberguy's Video (as much as I could get)
I went back through Harry's video, focused entirely on the sources James Somerton pulled from in the hopes of creating as much of a comprehensive list as I could--though my Google-Fu is not very strong. I did however find something I thought was forever lost and that made me very happy--specifically the magazine Midlands Zone containing the column by Steven Spinks that Harry poignantly used as an illustration of gay erasure... while Somerton uses it to sound like HE is waxing remorseful about the very subject.
This is not a complete list, I'm sure. For one thing, I was only able to attempt to pull sources that Harry himself mentioned in the video. Surely there's so very much more out there. I expect there to be a great deal more internet archeology to unearth just how much writing and culture Somerton has stolen like he's the British Museum of Natural History but for gay people.
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Harry's list of mentioned youtubers:
Alexander Avila - https://www.youtube.com/@alexander_avila Matt Baume - https://www.youtube.com/@MattBaume Khadija Mbowe - https://www.youtube.com/@KhadijaMbowe Lady Emily - https://www.youtube.com/@LadyEmilyPresents Shanspeare - https://www.youtube.com/@Shanspeare RickiHirsch - https://www.youtube.com/@RickiHirsch VerilyBitchie - https://www.youtube.com/@verilybitchie
Harry created a convenient playlist of videos by these and other people he wants to bring to everyone's attention.
Please give them your support.
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Midlands Zone Magazine - Column by Steven Spinks
After a great deal of searching, I found an archive of the "Midlands Zone" magazine, where you can read through past issues dating all the way back to February 2014. I have also found the issue from which Somerton took Spinks' poignant discussion of gay erasure: Overall archive Specific Issue - Pages 16-17
It will not allow you to download it, but you can read it exactly as it appeared in print form.
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My best effort to find the exact book or article Somerton lifted from to be able to get attention to the original writers
Tinker Bells and Evil Queens By Sean Griffin
The Celluloid Closet By Vito Russo Wikipedia article about the book Wikipedia article about the documentary My weak google-fu could not find where you can access the book or documentary. Check your local municipal or university library for book or documentary, or if you know a good source for one or both, please reblog with it added
Camp and the Gay Sensibility By Jack Babuscio
The Groundbreaking Queerness of Disney's Mulan By Jes Tom Personal site with links to social media accounts
Why Rebel Without a Cause was a milestone for gay rights By Peter Howell
Why "The Craft" is still the best Halloween coming out movie By Andrew Park
Opinion: From facehuggers to phallic tails, is 'Alien' one of the queerest films ever? By Dani Leever
Women and Queerness in Horror: Jennifer's Body By Zoe Fortier
[Pride 2019] We Have Such Sights to Show You: Hellraiser and the Spectrum of Queerness By Alejandra Gonzalez
Revealing the Hellbound Heart of Clive Barker's 'Hellraiser' By Colin Arason
Queering James Cameron's Aliens (1986) By Bart Bishop
Demeter and Persephone in space: transformation, femininity, and myth in the 'Alien' films By David Greven
Fears of a millennial masculinity: Scream's queer killers By David Greven (Scholarly site, unable to access original work, offers a way to request a full copy of the text in PDF)
Queer Subtext in Stephen King's It - Part 1: 'Reddie' Character Analysis By Rachel Brands Rachel is the very unfortunate lady who found out she was being stolen from because she supported Somerton through Patreon and saw one of his videos early with her writing--lacking any form of citation or credit
How 'It: Chapter Two' Leaves Richie Tozier Behind By Joelle Monique
When Horror Becomes Strength: Queer Armor in Stephen King's 'IT' By Alex London
Why Queer People Love Witchcraft By Amanda Kohr
'The Favourite' Queers The Past And The Present By Giorgi Plys-Garzotto
(Wuko) Crush (Mako x Wu) By MoonFlower on YouTube
5 Terrible Movies With Awesome Hidden Meanings By J.F. Sargent
The Radicalization of Sexuality: The Queer Casae of Jeffrey Dahmer By Ian Barnard
Netflix's 'Dahmer' backlash highlights ethical issues in the platform's obsession with true crime By Shivani Dubey
The Possible Disturbing Dissonance Between Hajime Isayama's Beliefs and Attack on Titan's Themes Original Article by "Seldom Musings" (Author has made all posts not related to Attack On Titan private and has retired from the blog)
Everyone Loves Attack on Titan. So Why Does Everyone Hate Attack on Titan? By Gita Jackson
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The following people are otherwise named in the video. There are no direct citations of articles or books by them in said video. I am unable to guarantee that I have identified the correct individual.
Darren Elliott-Smith Michaela Barton David Church Claire Sisco King Amanda Howell Jessica Roy
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Telos announced and cancelled a film likely based on this book: The Final Girl Support Group - By Grady Hendrix
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I refrained from including certain sources.
First off only focusing on Somerton's work.
Secondly not including anything that might be visible enough to not require amplifying their voice (I cannot speak for all of those I have found links to, but journalism is frequently a thankless job).
Thirdly any source that is of a nature that is antithetical to the very existence of the queer community, such as the right-leaning source that didn't make it into Somerton's video, but Harry was able to identify as a source he had considered using.
If you feel I have missed a mentioned source--or you know of a source from material that was not covered in Harry's video--please do not hesitate to reblog with added details.
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Please share this information far and wide, and please add to it if you find more material that can be positively identified and linked to the creator/writer.
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moonhoures · 9 months
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warning: every post will include smut! minors do not interact! (18+)
these will be posted at midnight (CST) from Oct. 1st to Oct. 31st. the links will be added accordingly after each one is posted!
* titles are subject to change up until posting date!
go to the bottom of this post to join the taglist! ↓
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1. Video Games | Enhypen Jay
— angry sex + makeup sex
2. One Night Stand | Seventeen Hoshi
— anonymous sex + roleplay
3. Relax | Ateez Yeosang
— bath sex
4. Insatiable | Enhypen Sunghoon
— biting kink + blood play [vampire!au]
5. Merciless | Stray Kids Hyunjin
— bondage
6. Countdown | TXT Taehyun
— brat taming
7. All Of Me | Monsta X Jooheon
— breeding kink / creampie
8. Stargazing | Monsta X Changkyun
— choking
9. Sunday Morning | P1Harmony Jiung
— cockwarming
10. Cowgirl | Ateez Wooyoung
— costumes
11. Pretty When You Cry | NCT Jeno
— dacryphilia
12. “It Just . . . Slipped” | Stray Kids Chan
— daddy kink
13. Play Thing | Twice Mina
— degradation
14. Open Wide | BTS Taehyung
— dom!idol
15. Score | Stray Kids Minho
— dry humping / thigh riding
16. Wicked Games | NCT Haechan
— edging / orgasm denial
17. Watch Yourself | Seventeen Jeonghan
— mirror sex
18. That’s My Girl | Twice Jihyo
— mommy kink
19. Thin Walls | ZB1 Matthew
— masturbation
20. I Can See You | The Boyz Sangyeon
— office sex [coworkers!au]
21. Sit | Blackpink Rosé
— oral
22. Good To Me | Seventeen Wonwoo
— overstimulation
23. Kiss Me Thru The Phone | Stray Kids Felix
— phone sex
24. Beautiful | NCT Jaehyun
— praise kink
25. Focus | Ateez San
— sex tape / filming
26. Knew Better | Seventeen S.Coups
— spanking
27. First Time For Everything | (G)-Idle Soyeon
— squirting
28. Bad Day | Wonho
— stripping
29. Hotel Room Service | TXT Huening Kai
— sub!idol
30. Three’s Company | P1Harmony Keeho & Theo
— threesome
31. Weapon | ITZY Chaeryoung
— toys
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🕸️ Taglist 🕷️
to join the taglist for this event only, please comment on this post! asks or comments on any other posts will not be valid.
edit: if your age isn’t visible on your blog you will not be added! you must be 18+ to be eligible for this taglist. thank you!
if you’d like to join my other taglists, you can do so here.
if you have any questions, i suggest sending those through my inbox!
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i-like-eyes · 2 years
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Weirdly Specific Artist Ask Game
Didn't see a lot of artist ask games, wanted to make a silly one.
(I wrote this while sick out of my mind last year and it's been collecting dust in my drafts, I might as well let it run free) 1. Art programs you have but don't use
2. Is it easier to draw someone facing left or right (or forward even)
3. What ideas come from when you were little
4. Fav character/subject that's a bitch to draw
5. Estimate of how much of your art you post online vs. the art you keep for yourself
6. Anything that might inspire you subconsciously (i.e. this horse wasn't supposed to look like the Last Unicorn but I see it)
7. A medium of art you don't work in but appreciate
8. What's an old project idea that you've lost interest in
9. What are your file name conventions
10. Favorite piece of clothing to draw
11. Do you listen to anything while drawing? If so, what
12. Easiest part of body to draw
13. A creator who you admire but whose work isn't your thing
14. Any favorite motifs
15. *Where* do you draw (don't drop your ip address this just means do you doodle at a park or smth)
16. Something you are good at but don't really have fun doing
17. Do you eat/drink when drawing? if so, what
18. An estimate of how much art supplies you've broken
19. Favorite inanimate objects to draw (food, nature, etc.)
20. Something everyone else finds hard to draw but you enjoy
21. Art styles nothing like your own but you like anyways
22. What physical exercises do you do before drawing, if any
23. Do you use different layer modes
24. Do your references include stock images
25. Something your art has been compared to that you were NOT inspired by
26. What's a piece that got a wildly different interpretation from what you intended
27. Do you warm up before getting to the good stuff? If so, what is it you draw to warm up with
28. Any art events you have participated in the past (like zines)
29. Media you love, but doesn't inspire you artistically
30. What piece of yours do you think is underrated
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devildomwriter · 8 months
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Mammon Birthday Special 100 Fun Facts
1. Mammon states that he sleeps in the nude
2. Mammon despises witches and was nearly chopped into pieces by them once but Lucifer rescued him (although Lucifer was also the one to recommend they cut him into pieces)
3. When Levi tried attacking Mammon in his sleep, before he could even bring his foot down on Mammon, Mammon had him in a headlock
4. Mammon has a habit of stripping while drunk
5. Mammon does not like it when bath’s smell like flowers
6. Mammon’s dream for the future is having a carefree and playful life
7. Mammon starts his baths by washing his head
8. Mammon’s fear of ghosts and monsters originates a little after a year of living in the Devildom when he is possessed by a ghost
9. Mammon hates a Devildom song called “Corpse Rock”
10. Karasu refers to Mammon as noodle-boy
11. In earlier chats and Devilgrams Mammon is said to be a cat person, in later stories he is said to be a dog person, but his birthday information card again states he is more of a cat person
12. Mammon’s motto is “Money will makes the Devil turn millstones.”
13. Mammon’s daily activity is procrastinating in MC’s room
14. Mammon is obsessed with his shades and when he accidentally breaks them he’s devastated
15. According to Beelzebub, Mammon is bad at cooking and doesn’t make good peanut butter sandwiches
16. When Belphie and Beel helped Mammon pick out his human world outfit, he was so touched he bought them their human world clothes
17. Mammon states if the Devildom disappeared tomorrow he’d borrow as much money as he wanted to spend and not have to pay any of it back
18. Mammon’s favorite food in hell is Soy Sauce flavored cup ramen
19. In a love survey in B’s log, Mammin is said to be the active one pursuing love
20. Mammon is said to attract the “sassy and outgoing” types
21. The first thing Mammon does in the morning is check his stocks
22. In the love survey in B’s log when asked if he’d want to be bound by or bind his lover his response was “what do you want me to do? What did you say? Idiot!”
23. Mammon’s car is a Demonio 666 Lexura. The specific type was very rare and (unbeknownst to him originally) only with Lucifer and Diavolo’s help was he able to get it
24. Mammon easily forgets anniversaries and special dates of remembrance
25. Mammon is unable to express himself frankly
26. Mammon likes R&B music
27. Mammon is not a morning demon
28. One of the first things in the game said about Mammon by his brothers is that he’s a masochist
29. The results of a demon brain scanning app showed that Mammon’s thoughts are 90% money
30. Mammon’s worst RAD subject is Hexes and Curses
31. Mammon became Lucifer’s attendant in the Celestial Realm before Leviathan had even been born
32. Mammon was once almost roasted alive by hellfire
33. Mammon is a very bad liar and often admits exactly what he did when explaining that’s not what he did
34. Mammon was almost the one to tame Cerberus but Lucifer rushed in as he was about to confront the dog
35. Mammon is extremely protective of his little brothers
36. When forced to be honest, Mammon admits how much he admires and respects Lucifer
37. When Lucifer has a bad day, Mammon will bring him a drink and sandwich without being asked
38. Mammon was almost kicked out of the celestial realm thousands of years before the fall until Lucifer got through to him
39. Besides the people who were told what Simeon was going through in season 4, Mammon was the first one to notice something was wrong with him
40. Once Mammon was punished by Lucifer by being tickled until he laughed so hard he was humiliated
41. Mammon was given a serum with unknown results that caused him to tell MC he wanted to do many explicit things with them
42. Even Michael was unable to handle Mammon as an angel
43. Mammon is so fast that not even Diavolo and Lucifer can catch up to him
44. It’s been mentioned multiple times that Mammon uses crows as familiars
45. When Lucifer cannot trust Diavolo, he turns to Mammon
46. Mammon once called up Simeon to ask about significant lines in the TSL series so he could successfully hack into Leviathan’s akuzon account
47. Levi and Mammon sometimes perform standup comedy
48. When Mammon tried making a cake for Lucifer on his birthday in the Celestial Realm, he accidentally destroyed the kitchen, infuriating Michael
49. Mammon works as a model occasionally
50. In lesson 11 of the game Mammon claims he is well over 5,000 years old
51. In the celestial realm Mammon would often watch over the younger angels
52. Mammon once tried selling bird feathers to the lesser angels, claiming they were seraph feathers
53. In the celestial realm, Mammon once used the lesser angels to play a game of life-size chess
54. Mammon is said to have been the one who rallied and encouraged the angels in the Celestial war
55. Unlike his brothers, Mammon doesn’t often lose control of his powers
56. Whenever Mammon comes up with solutions to a crisis, they usually make things worse
57. Mammon struggles with math unless he thinks about it as calculating money
58. Mammon loves pandas because they’re profitable
59. Mammon always lets his brothers know about sales and deals going on
60. Mammon is the one who told Lucifer to always have pride and not regret his decision about the war
61. Mammon was cursed to speak like a cat during season 4 and Satan was unable to leave his side even getting Mammon to play with cat toys.
62. The first time Mammon lost control of his powers and transformed into a demon in the game is when he misunderstood a conversation between Levi and MC and assumed they had “relations”
63. Mammon is one of the only people who will indulge Asmodeus and watch his one-man fashion shows
64. When Mammon put too many meals on Satan’s tab, Satan called up Solomon and told him Mammon wanted to try his new recipe
65. Mammon has kidnapped MC multiple times
66. Mammon sometimes goes clubbing with Asmo after part time jobs
67. After Mammon sold all of their silverware he was fired from Ristorante Six
68. Mammon is sometimes referred to as MC’s pet
69. Mammon continues to insist he’s MC’s master not the other way around
70. Mammon sees Luke as his little brother
71. Student council members used to oversee detention until Mammon kept getting detention himself
72. Mammon once accidentally cast a spell on himself that made him burst into song
73. Mammon once accidentally turned himself into a dog
74. Mammon accidentally cursed himself and became extremely small. He was scared of how Beel was looking at him
75. When Mammon made the Miss’em dolls he became extremely wealthy but later blew it all on gambling
76. Mammon is too scared to watch horror movies alone and asks Lucifer to watch them with him
77. Mammon once attacked Lucifer with a three-prong pitch fork when he embarrassed him
78. Mammon has cried from fear of Simeon multiple times
79. Mammon was unable to even pretend to break up with MC
80. Mammon is one of the reasons you need a permit to get to the human world rather than do so freely
81. Mammon got a Mohawk once but his brothers teased him so much he immediately got rid of it
82. Mammon loves the Devildom version of Harry Potter
83. Mammon often threatens lesser/younger demons to hand over all their money
84. Mammon once stopped a bank robbery and demanded the money as compensation
85. Mammon accidentally cut down a Christmas tree gifted to Lucifer from Diavolo
86. Mammon was tricked by Lucifer to gamble against everyone he’d ever screwed over all at once
87. Mammon calls going to the horse races “seeing the horsies” to try and convince MC to tag along
88. When he was Lucifer’s attendant, Mammon sought for a rare Crystal Lily flower to gift him but got lost and Lucifer had to come find him
89. Mammon used Serenity Manor as collateral in gambling as soon as he got to the human world, almost forcing everyone to go right back to the Devildom
90. When coming up with proposal’s Mammon forced Simeon, Solomon, and Luke to participate in a flash mob
91. Mammon has a blood oath with MC and Leviathan
92. Mammon accidentally won Henry 1.0 while trying his first Devildom ice cream. He was nearly eaten.
93. Mammon owns an AK-47 after winning it over in a game against Leviathan
94. Mammon fees guilty that he didn’t have a grand reason to follow Lucifer to hell rather than just feeling like it
95. Mammon once lost a bet to a bunch of rabbits
96. Mammon prefers spicy foods to sweets
97. Mammon extorted Satan for 50,000 Grimm in exchange for throwing him a baseball
98. Mammon’s highest known rank in the celestial realm within the game is a Throne
99. When Mammon was turned into a Test Name box he got used to it immediately, disappointing Beelzebub
100. Mammon died in season 4 for a few minutes but was brought back by Barbatos
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lqfiles · 9 months
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SCORE THAT GOAL! — smau
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after your college had announced that all the students were required to join a club and attend it twice a week, you were planning on either a) dropping out, or b) join the art club and pretend to be sick most of the times. that was before you discovered that park jisung is a long time member of the football team. change in plans: you LOVE football.
or in which you mindlessly join the football club in hopes of catching your crush’s attention (and to maybe secretly check him out too) who cares if you can’t even kick a ball up in the air?
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football-player!jisung x fem!reader
genre ; rlly just humour, football / sports au, fluff, some angst, pining and eventually mutual pining, probably slow-burn, college au, strangers to lovers.
extras ; teasing and profanity | sexual and death jokes | reader is down bad | jisung kinda dislikes reader and closed off at the start | my knowledge on football isn’t the BEST but i know above basics and enough for this fic | idrc if some of these subject clubs don’t exist this is for entertainment 😸
notes ; 😭 mostly posting this for myself cos i’ve wanted to try a smau for a while now but i hope anyone else enjoys too.
PLAYLIST ; Rising , TripleS — Hype Boy , newjeans — Awkward , SZA — Gasoline , ROSY (FT. LILMONEY) — Attracted To You , Pinkpantheress — Cognac Queen , Megan Thee Stallion — Goodie Bag , Still Woozy — Eyedress , Something About You .
STATUS ; completed! (24.02.24)
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profiles (1) | profiles (2)
1 ) donghyuck’s fault
2 ) 20% more insane
3 ) it’s the voices again
4 ) yes captain!
5 ) invest in a priv account
6 ) peach lipton ice tea
7 ) no suicide EVER
8 ) always believe women
9 ) grape & lemon drink
10 ) favourite teammate
11 ) wingman
12 ) jeno’s food provider
13 ) no lunch
14 ) awkward tension
15 ) a simple conversation
16 ) an even more normal conversation
17 ) under my umbrella
18 ) a canon event (ft. Renjun's Black Friday offer)
19 ) feeling submissive and fragile
20 ) woman hobbies & failed courseworks
21 ) man up and break it
22 ) make-up brush vs subway sandwich
23 ) OFFICIAL FRIENDSHIP!!!
24 ) a nice gesture
25 ) NOT my boyfriend
26 ) business exchange
27 ) what about mark?
28 ) winter wonders with you
29 ) JISUNG vs MARK
30 ) my princess (very lame)
31 ) riddle me this
32 ) do you like her? (probably)
33 ) wtf does QUORA know?
34 ) JISUNGxY/N: plan A
35 ) evil out the way, GOOD RIDDANCE
36 ) basketball incidents.
37 ) JISUNGxY/N: plan B (the jisung quiz)
38 ) E-DATING 🔛🔝🔥
39 ) wise words from renjun
40 ) that one sign
41 ) guess it’s a date
42 ) (unofficial) couple goals
43 ) the y/nle argument
44 ) professional over-thinker
45 ) executing major girlboss energy
46 ) the confession prep
47 ) knock some sense into them
48 ) war is over
49 ) knock some sense into JISUNG
50 ) an overdue confession
51 ) be your boyfriend?
52 ) scored that goal!
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BONUS:
jisung the blonde
JISUNG vs MARK pt.2
jaemin’s hit tweets
the jeno quiz
one huge polyamory relationship
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thank you for reading!
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tadpolesonalgae · 7 days
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Can’t Bring Myself To Hate You — Part 17
Azriel x Third-Oldest-Archeron-Sibling!Reader
a/n: does anyone mind the slightly longer chapters? I feel like I keep accidentally adding scenes in and I’m not sure if it’s too much? Anyway, regardless of length, I hope you enjoy! 🧡💛
word count: 8,024
-Part 16-
——————————————————————————————————————————————
“Was that necessary, Mor?” 
Neatly groomed brows narrow over hard amber eyes, stood at the edge of the room, still cast in shadow before walking to be stood closer to the bed that’s been pushed so it’s beside the open window. 
“Stay out of it, Az,” Mor murmurs, arms folded over her chest, eyes cast downwards. “You should be focusing on getting better.” 
Azriel is quiet for a bit, his gaze weighing on her but she makes no move to look at him, a hint of anguish in her normally bright expression. He sighs, shifting against the pillows as he glances out the window, inclining his head a little as a light breeze washes over him, sending silky strands of hair fluttering up from his brow. 
“You know she didn’t do it to hurt you,” he says, watching as the clouds shift in composition in the sky, small dots flying in the distance as they arc and dip with the winds. Hazel eyes flick back across the room, but Mor’s head is still lowered, her expression resentful. “You know you were being cruel.” 
“And you’re in a position to criticise me?” Mor replies quietly, hard amber piercing into him. “You’re the reason this became such a mess. You should have said something. There’s no way you couldn’t have noticed.” 
“I made a mistake,” he concedes reluctantly, holding her gaze. 
“You made more than a mistake, Az. Now we’re all hurting because you—”
“Mor,” Azriel interrupts. She stiffens but doesn’t yield, that look of reproach returning to her expression. “You can’t lash out at us whenever you hurt,” he says thickly, still watching her. Silence stretches between them, centuries worth of history pulled taut in the quiet. 
“What does Rhys think?” Mor diverts, successfully switching subjects. Azriel sighs, leaning back into the pillow, “about which part?” Mor’s brows narrow a little, “all of it, I suppose.” Azriel’s jaw works, glancing briefly out the window again to peer up into the sky, the winds calling to him and his wings move subtly at his back, repositioning themselves against the large stack of cushions placed to prop him up. 
“He’s furious that it got this far,” he replies, features carefully neutral as he answers the question. Amber eyes observe, offered insight through those years of friendship that others might struggle to pick out—the guilt he feels for failing. Not just her, or Mor, but Rhys and Feyre. For inadvertently allowing a situation to unfold where his brother would be forced to remember those months…years of grief after his family was slaughtered. After his sister was murdered. The whole situation is dredging up unwelcome memories, for all of them. They can’t let another one be lost. 
“He wants to know how Eris even got to her in the first place,” Azriel admits, glancing warily at Mor to gauge her reaction. “You don’t know?” She asks, pushing past the tightness in her throat at the mere mention. But the Shadowsinger shakes his head. “There wasn’t really time to ask,” he supplies quietly. She wasn’t really even in the right mindset to be asked. 
“What about Cassian?” Mor queries, but Azriel shakes his head. 
“You know I won’t tell you.” Because to know Cassian’s thoughts on the matter would likely be to know Nesta’s, and that isn’t the kind of emotional intimacy any of them would be comfortable with. It’s strange how emotions intermingle like that, how swiftly things can complicate themselves when new figures are added to the equation. 
A beat passes, then Mor’s shifting on her feet. “You know, there was a time when we shared everything between us. Wasn’t that easier?” She asks neutrally. 
“Mor,” Azriel warns lowly, causing Mor’s upper lit to curl slightly. 
“Don’t take that tone with me, Az,” she mutters, resting her full attention on the injured male. “Don’t act like you’re completely blameless.” 
“Assigning blame won’t fix anything,” he replies shortly, hazel eyes losing a little of their softness. “I’m sure that narrative suits you well,” Mor counters sharply. “I think you’re glad that I said those things to her so that you have a chance to redeem yourself by condemning me. You’re the one who started this whole mess, so—”
“Mor.”
“Shut up, Az,” Mor hisses, warmth vanishing from her face, eyes hardening as shields rise. “Don’t you dare try and twist what happened. You made mistake after mistake because you were too busy chasing Elain, and too busy ignoring what you didn’t want to acknowledge by hiding behind your work instead. At least I had a damn reason. What was yours?” 
Azriel gives nothing away, his expression cold and blank. 
“I tried to help her, I reached out my hand and offered her a chance. And she repaid that by going to Eris,” Mor hisses, unable to help the stark pain that bleeds into her fury. “She could have come to any of us. It’s more than we ever had, and yet she ignored it. Then tries to pretend it away? I’m not immune to that. If she can’t even be bothered to care about my pain why should I give a damn about hers?” Mor breathes, eyes feeling hot as the words gush out. “It is nothing compared to what we endured.” 
————
You manage a small smile as Madja enters your room, Elain closing the door behind her as she takes a seat at your bedside. 
“How are you feeling this morning?” Madja asks as she settles in the chair provided for these visits, a kind look on her face that you know you should be grateful for, but it’s difficult to summon anything when you know she can’t do anything. All this is, is documentation. An observation to see what happens to you. Because it’s undeniable something is happening. 
You swallow thickly, but nod your head. “Good, for the most part,” you answer, truthfully. “I’m still feeling generally fatigued, but I wouldn’t say it’s particularly interfering with my day? I’ve had some pains in my stomach and back though, but I think they’re just…you know…” Madja raises her brows in question, silently asking you to continue. Heat rises beneath your skin and you avert your gaze, hands wringing together beneath the duvet. 
“Would it be more helpful if it were just the two of you?” Elain suggests carefully, and teeth push into your lower lip. Then you give a small dip of your head, too embarrassed to look her in the eye. But she doesn’t seem to mind, telling you’ll she be a few rooms over, and will return once the examination is done. Madja looks patiently at you, a kind expression on her features that soothes you slightly. She’s a healer, surely she’ll have seen and heard worse… 
You clear your throat, peering into your lap to avoid looking at her. “I think they might just be…” you trail off, glancing at her then gesturing vaguely to your stomach, hand hovering over your abdomen. There’s nothing impatient in her smile as she speaks, “your cycle?” You snap your eyes away, a flush of mortification rising to your skin, shoulders tightening as you stare into your lap but force yourself to nod. 
“It’s perfectly fine to speak about that with me,” Madja says gently, “it’s a normal occurrence with females, there’s no need to be embarrassed about your own body. There’s nothing wrong with it.” You nod again, just to try and appease her, but in truth you’re desperate to escape the subject. “I’m sorry, I just— I find it hard to believe you aren’t…uncomfortable, discussing such topics.” 
“Well, I’ve been a healer for most of my centuries in this realm,” she says calmly, and you can imagine that kind expression on her features, peaceful and infinitely patient. “I’ve worked during both wars, not to mention helping with your sister’s pregnancy. There’s very little that could ever cause me discomfort in regards to how the body works, so you don’t have to concern yourself.” 
You shift again in the bed, but manage to nod your head. Madja seems to be satisfied with the response, smile broadening, and a slight bit of tension is relieved from your shoulders, breath easing into your lungs. “So you’ve been experiencing some abdominal and back pain?” She questions, and you nod again, feeling a little useless. “Can you describe it to me?” She asks, and you swallow thickly. “I…it’s like a dull ache in my back, near the base of my spine but a bit to the right. Then it’s quite sharp in my…abdomen. It doesn’t happen often, but I thought I should mention it…” 
“I don’t think you should be experiencing any pain at all,” Madja replies. “And may I ask when you’re next due for your cycle?” You look away briefly before again meeting her gaze—nothing to be embarrassed about, she’d assured. “In about three months,” you answer quietly. 
Madja nods in approval, and you begin to relax back into the pillows. “And have you noticed any bleeding at all?” She asks gently, and you freeze in the bed. 
“No,” you answer hurriedly, without thinking, “no. Not from— No.” 
“Alright,” she smiles calmingly, “anywhere else? You have some scabs on your hands, isn’t that right?” Your throat rolls but you nod, releasing your tight grip on your nightgown, bringing yourself to raise them from beneath the duvet so she can examine them. “And these bumps,” she inquires, “can you tell me how long those have been there for?” You blink, trying to remember—they’ve been there for months it feels like, but it can’t have been that long, can it? How long has it been since you first told Azriel?
“I think…” you hesitate, unsure of yourself, “maybe a month? Two? They don’t hurt, but they do sometimes…bleed.” 
“Okay, would you mind if I had a look at them?” She requests, and you silently offer her your hands for her to take. That tingling warmth feathers beneath your skin, as if the flesh has fallen asleep, and you watch curiously as she probes along your knuckles, examining your palms, grazing your wrists. “And may I look at the area you experienced the pain in?” She asks, and you stiffen but nod. It’ll be the same thing as last time, you hope, and that wasn’t too bad since she had managed to work through the fabric of your night gown. The duvet is rolled back and you sit straighter in the cushions so she’ll have better access. 
“Can you point out where exactly you were feeling the pain?” She requests, and you gesture to a horizontal strip of skin below your middle. “It was the sharpest here,” you answer, “but I sometimes get a small ache further to the left or right.” Madja doesn’t reply, her expression showing concentration as she moves her hands across your stomach, gently pushing at the parts you’d mentioned as that warmth settles pleasantly into you. You can’t help as your attention drifts to your own hands, how flaky and lumpy they are in comparison to her tender set. It’s so dry, small scabs where blood had leaked from…you wish at least the bleeding didn’t happen. So many pairs of gloves you have to wash repeatedly to make sure there aren’t any stains. 
It’s become such a normal part of your life it had slipped your mind that pain shouldn’t be a normal part of it, nor the bleeding. 
The bleeding… 
A cold feeling washes over you, like you’ve had ice tipped down your spine as you remember the scare you’d experienced in the Autumn Court. 
If Madja notices how you’ve frozen, she doesn’t mention it, but a slow feeling of slippery dread unspools in your stomach as you recall the blood you’d noticed when visiting the washroom one morning. You’d thought it was your cycle—the slight pains had added up and the night sweats had made sense—but then nothing had happened and you’d forgotten about that blood. 
Nausea churns in your stomach, a district feeling over lightheadedness overcoming you and you force the calm breaths into your lungs…deep, and steady. You choke on saliva and your palm flies over your mouth as you twist your head to the side, coughing. 
Madja glances up at you, brows slightly pulled together from concentration. “Have some water—are you remembering to keep yourself hydrated throughout the day?” She asks, handing you the glass that rests by your bedside table. “For the most part,” you answer after taking a few sips. Madja pauses briefly, a look of consideration passing behind her eyes before speaking, “would you mind if I checked your lungs? It’s likely nothing, but might as well be sure since I’m here, don’t you agree?” 
You blink at her, looking slightly perplexed but you suppose there’s no harm in it, so you nod your confirmation, handing her back the glass before settling into the cushion. That familiar warmth tingles in your skin as she tentatively lays her fingers just below your collar bones before pressing down a little firmer and making her way from one side to the other. Her features remain set in an expression of concentration and she returns to the tops of your sternum before going a little lower. You tense, but understand she’s performing a medical examination. 
“Can you sit upright a little more? I’d like to search a little lower, just by your ribs,” she adds, seeing your startled expression. You nod, understanding, sitting more upright independent of the cushions. “Now if you can raise your arm?” She requests gently and again you follow, raising your left arm so she has access to the side of your ribs. The tingling sensation returns and you think you can feel as it searches through your body, though it doesn’t feel invasive like you had expected. 
Madja’s fingers pause, before she’s pressing noticeably firmer and you have to steady yourself so she does upset your balance. The sensation becomes more acute, able to feel as the tingling feeling concentrates near the middle left of your lower ribcage. When she retracts her hands she looks a little confused. 
“Is everything okay?” You ask nervously, uneasy by her expression. 
“There’s what feels like a small lump connected to the tissue of your left lung,” Madja explains calmly, and you nod your head. “If you’ll let me, I’d like to try and purge it. I haven’t seen it in any other patients, and there’s no reason for it to be there—it isn’t a natural part of your body. Would that be okay?” 
You nod your head—if she’s found something wrong with you, that sounds promising…? And if she thinks she can…purge it, that seems even better. 
“Alright, if you lean back into the bed to keep your upper body relaxed that would be perfect,” she guides and you settle down. “Okay, I’m going to apply my magic to the growth. You might feel a sudden heat or a ticklish sensation but if you can avoid coughing that would be helpful,” she explains, and tension rises in your chest as she again puts her hands against the side of your ribcage.  
Sure enough, a sharp heat fills a spot on your lung, and you press your lips together to prevent from coughing or inhaling suddenly despite the abrupt tickle that’s manifested in your throat, an intense itchiness in your lungs���an itchiness growing in the tips of your fingers…growing hotter…and hotter…beginning to burn, and… 
Madja pulls away, a gentle smile on her face, “all done. You did well not to start coughing in the middle there, it helped make the process much easier for me.” 
“So, it’s gone?” You ask perplexedly, hand gingerly rising to press into your ribs, testing as you inhale. Sure enough, the tickling feeling has gone, and so has the tightness in your throat, suddenly feeling much clearer. Like when you’d had a cold as a human, feeling the distinct relief once you were able to breathe freely again, having to become reliant on inhaling via your mouth rather than nose. One never appreciates how seamlessly their body works until it’s compromised.
Madja smiles, “it’s gone.” 
A hesitant smile makes its way across your mouth, peering down to where you hand is settled. 
Maybe it isn’t as bad as you’d been telling yourself. 
————
Golden eyes gleam from within the home, the scent of rosemary so familiar emotion swells in your chest. 
“Hey, Bas.” 
He pauses briefly, and you hesitate, waiting to see what he’ll do. Then he’s shifting in the doorway, opening it wider cautiously as he take you in, taking up most of the entryway. “You’re back…” he greets, but the note of caution in his voice has you hesitating again. But you push a small smile to your mouth, remembering yourself. “I’m back,” you agree, nodding your head slightly, “how… How have you been? Everything okay?” 
Bas is silent, simply watching you with an indistinguishable look and you resist the urge to move beneath his attention, instead waiting it out, wondering what he’s thinking. 
“Where were you?” He asks, catching you a little off-guard with the question. You hadn’t really considered he might question where you went. “I was… I visited another Court. Temporarily. Just to see more of the world, I guess…” You peer up at him—he isn’t moving from the doorway, remaining blocking it instead of inviting you in like you’d anticipated. Things feel strange, to how you remember them. “Is everything…okay?” You hedge. 
“Is everything okay?” He repeats softly, as if to himself. His golden eyes regain awareness, pupils tightening as they look at you. “Why don’t you tell me?” 
It’s enough to have you faltering, temporary confidence stumbling as you peer up at him questioningly. “I…what do you mean?” You ask, unsure what he’s asking after. 
“I mean, why did you disappear like that, huh? You just— went. Without telling me where, without telling anyone where, apparently. Do you know how dangerous Prythian can be? Especially for someone like you, and you just decided to leave? What were you thinking?” Bas asks, his patience steadily slipping as he speaks, thoughts pouring from his lips. “Someone like me?” You repeat faintly, pinning him with a look, “what’s that supposed to mean?” 
“You’re smart. Not strong,” he answers succinctly, but bluntly, “you should know what sort of creatures are out there.” 
“That didn’t seem to bother you the night I left,” you counter, a note of disbelief in your voice. 
“Because you’re smart,” he repeats as if it’s obvious. “You’re smart, so I assumed you’d make a smart choice. Not just go out into Prythian on a whim. You don’t even know how to fight. Do you understand what could have happened to you?” 
“Bas, I’m fine,” you reassure, trying to understand his temper is coming from a place of concern. “I…I went to meet someone. I didn’t just go out into the wilderness, you don’t need to worry,” you explain, knowing it’s best to keep the details vague. 
“You know your family came to visit, right?” He asks, again catching you off guard as you stare at him. “No,” you answer, quietly, “I didn’t. Who—… What happened…?” Bas shifts in the doorway, settling to lean against the threshold of the entrance, and a small grain of relief passes through you at the distinctly familiar gesture. “Azriel visited first, and I told him he wouldn’t get anything out of me because I had decided to trust that you knew what you were doing. And you know what he told me?” Bas asks harshly, shaking his head and not waiting for reply. “He told me I was interfering with Court affairs, that withholding information might result in the High Lord personally questioning me. And I still didn’t tell him anything.” 
“I…I’m sorry, Bas,” you manage, guilt at last beginning to rise in your chest, head lowering slightly. “I’m…thank you. For trusting me.” 
“I’m not done,” Bas says quietly, but firmly, causing you to glance up at him questioningly. “He came back, that time with Mor.” There’s no way for you to conceal the pain and conflict that passes through your expression. Even if you could, even if you knew how to hide your emotions like that, you have the distinct impression he knows you well enough he’d be able to see through it, and the thought is surprisingly uncomfortable for you. Knowing someone so well they could see through your lies…that kind of vulnerability… 
“She was the one who convinced me to admit I had no idea where you’d gone. She was clearly worried, and I had to look at her and tell her how you hadn’t trusted me enough to say where you’d be going, but that I had decided to trust you enough that I’d been fine not knowing.” His voice has lowered, becoming rougher, and your shoulder slope with shame. “Can you understand that? To realise you’ve been deceived by someone you cared for like that? To admit that to people who had been smart enough to know better?” 
“I’m sorry,” you murmur, raising your eyes to meet his, gloved hands wringing together. “I didn’t mean for it to seem like I didn’t trust you. I do.” 
“Then where were you?” 
You raise your head to look at him, then. Heart sinking because—you can’t tell him. You’re in enough trouble as it is, with Rhys, with Mor, with Azriel. Probably with your sisters too, they just haven’t shown it yet. You can’t cause more problems. More problems for them is more consequences for you, and you have a long list of things to make up for. Dauntingly long. Almost unbearably… “Bas…I…” 
“Can’t tell me?” He finishes, his tone telling you it’s exactly what he anticipated. 
“It’s not that I don’t trust you,” you say softly, holding his gaze imploringly. “You know I trust you. That I’ve told you things I could never—… That I could never tell anyone else…” 
“Then why can’t you tell me, huh?” He asks, a touch more gentle, sounding as helpless as you feel. 
“Just…I need you to…”
“Trust you?” He scoffs, shoulders jerking in an unnaturally sharp movement. 
“You’d made it sound like they didn’t care about you,” he says quietly, and you look at him wearily. “I thought you were on your own, you know.” Like me, is what he leaves out, but you can hear it clear enough. “I have my ma, and you have your sister, but beyond that I thought you had no one but me.” And I had no one but you—again, you can hear those words he’s not saying. “That we were going to be there for each other because we understood what it was like. But they care for you.” A strange sense of shame settles heavily on your shoulders, and your head lowers, but you don’t look away. 
“It was obvious,” he murmurs, his brows curving almost imperceptibly, a kernel of pain passing behind sharp golden eyes. He sighs, shaking his head, pushing up from the doorframe and you watch silently as he begins to draw the conversation to a close. “I won’t begrudge you of that. I’m glad you have people. Family. But I…” You lied. 
“I don’t—” You say abruptly, rushing into speech, hurting without thought, just needing to explain yourself, even if it opens up something you aren’t ready for. “They don’t,” you breathe. “I—… It might look like they do, you might know they do. Maybe they really, actually do.” You stare up at him, feeling that emptiness lethargically blink itself awake, mouth yawning open in preparation to begin swallowing you down again. Pulling you into that inescapable state of overwhelming darkness. “But I can’t believe it,” you whisper, feeling as your eyes fill with wetness, and something hot spills down your cheek, another following when you blink to clear it away. “I can’t…” you breathe, trailing off. “It doesn’t matter what happens, Bas. I just—…I can’t believe it.” 
“And I should believe you?” He asks quietly. 
You stare at him helplessly. There’s nothing else you can say. You’ve tried to convince him, you’ve been as honest as you can physically tolerate, and it…it just isn’t enough. You aren’t enough. 
Your heart doesn’t plummet like you’ve learned to anticipate. Instead a vague feeling of disappointment calmly soothes your skin, glum pessimism setting in as the high emotions fade into watery greys. Desaturated, and bearable. 
“I don’t know what else to say,” you tell him quietly. 
“Just tell me the truth,” Bas asks, golden eyes showing his hurt. Another case of betrayal you’ve brought upon yourself. 
Would it be unfair to ask his forgiveness? 
“I’m sorry,” you give as your answer. There’s nothing else you can say. 
Bas’ eyes dull slightly, and you understand how you’ve let him down. 
His jaw works, looking away briefly before returning his attention to you. “I’ll see you later.” 
————
The wind breezes through you as you walk along the cobbles, the sun long since dipped down beneath the horizon, leaving a chill in the air that manages to sink through the silky orange material of your scarf. 
You can’t bring yourself to try and tackle the emotional conflict with Bas yet. You’re drained, and tired from the past months—maybe longer—and you don’t want to put yourself through more self-inflicted sadness. If you really need to release some bottled up emotion, you know you’ll have no choice in escaping it. If you have the option to keep yourself from hurt, you’ll take it. At least for the moment. 
Bas had said he’d see you later—you have to trust him. As a friend, as someone who’s been there for you, and you for him—you have to believe you’ll be able to fix this. There’s good in the world, Feyre had told you, you just have to trust that you’ll find it. Even if it’s seemingly alluded you until now, in the moments you’ve needed it most. 
A silhouette seems familiar in your peripherals, a distinctly fae sense recognising the shape, or…something, of the figure, and you glance over. 
Cassian raises his hand in greeting, his expression clear and untroubled as he walks over to where you’ve paused, wings kept neatly tucked at his back to keep them from bumping into things. “You know, I’ve been told you’re supposed to be staying in bed,” he greets in his deep voice, tone similar to one someone would use when catching another doing something they aren’t supposed to, but considering joining in anyway. It’s very him, in a way. 
“I…” you begin, about to mention Bas, but then decide otherwise. “I’m feeling okay today. I thought a walk might be nice. Fresh air’s supposed to be good for you, right?” You ask lightly, volume low. Cassian’s quiet for a beat, unnervingly sharp hazel eyes weighing into you calmly. Then he sighs, shrugging his shoulders a little before shifting on his feet, making to turn around, to lead you somewhere. “I suppose I can’t fault you for keeping things to yourself.”
You watch as he turns, obviously expecting you to go with him, but the moment caught you off guard. “…keeping things to myself…?” You hedge, managing to get your feet moving to walk a little behind him, not particularly wanting to go with him but knowing it would be unreasonable to turn away. Especially after all the trouble you’ve caused—like having such poor control of your—
You halt abruptly, staring up to the cliff-face that contains the House of Wind. Sure enough, even from so far below, you can spot the large break in the rock-face, able to pick out what had been your bedroom, and the sides of the rooms either side of it. You feel as the blood drains from your face, shock icing your body as you’re unable to look away—you caused that. “Something wrong?” Cassian asks, calling back to you a few steps away. 
Words have left you, unable to figure out what to say, mind struggling to wrap around all of it. Another thing to make up for, and that one’s pretty big, too…your shoulders slope as you stare at the hole blown out of the rock. The damage you’ve probably caused the interior too… How much will it take to repair that? Isn’t the building itself old? Even to fae standards? 
How can you ever make up for something like that? 
Cassian walks back over to you when you don’t reply, pausing at your side, hands on his hips as he follows the direction of your gaze. “Pretty impressive,” he says conversationally, “you’ve got a way to go before you can manage an entire building, though.” Then he pats you lightly on the shoulder, wing curving round your body to get your legs moving as you’re pulled away, view with the House broken. 
“I—…” you choke out, “did…did I do that?” You manage hoarsely, looking up at him as your feet start moving one in front of the other, subconsciously wary of bumping into his wing. “Sure did. Blew right through that noise cancelling ward Feyre put up,” Cassian answers, keeping his attention ahead as he leads you through the city streets, people automatically making way for the familiar face. “I told her she’d been slacking off in practising her magic,” he murmurs under his breath, but you aren’t paying much attention, too overwhelmed with debt to really engage. 
“I’m sorry,” you breathe, feet hesitating as they move over the cobbles before stopping firmly, shoulders bunched as you glance up at him. “I’m so— I didn’t mean to make such a mess— I just— I just didn’t— I didn’t know what to do. And I thought he was going to—”
“It’s okay,” Cassian says firmly, standing in front of you so there are less places to look away to. “It’s Rhys’ anyway. You don’t need to apologise to me.” 
“But…it was given to you,” you hedge, staring up at him—and if it’s still Rhys’, that’s so much worse. So, so much damage. 
“Would you feel better if someone was angry with you?” He asks seriously after a moment of pause. You freeze, startled by the question. “…what?” 
“Would it make it easier?” He repeats, watching you solemnly, “if we acted how you’re waiting for us to?” 
You stare at him, struggling to pull together a reply, startled from the strange clarity of his questions. Seconds pass and all you can do is look at him, too afraid to answer—not of him, but…something. 
Cassian breaks the connection, glancing away, half turning his body to face the direction you’d been walking. “Maybe that question was too much,” he says, almost to himself. He sighs, eyes closing briefly, before he’s glancing at you, wing opening as if to guide you along again. “Come on,” he says, voice having lost that solemnity, back to the familiar timbre, “we’ll be late.” 
“Late?” You manage as you somehow get your body to fall into step beside him. “What…where are we going?” 
He looks at you strangely, as if the answer’s obvious. “Dinner, of course,” he replies, returning his attention to the streets ahead, sure enough taking the path that will lead directly back to the River House. “They’ll start without us if we aren’t there on time.” 
“Dinner?” You ask, feeling lightheaded. Too many new components being dropped on you for you to entirely keep yourself together. You swallow thickly, fumbling for excuses because you can’t do a dinner as you are—not after yesterday. “I’m not feeling too great, actually,” you say hoarsely, “besides, if I eat this late I don’t know if I’ll be able to keep it…” you trail off, realising he probably doesn’t want to hear about you throwing up meals every now and again. 
“Madja’s told us you need to keep your strength up,” Cassian replies, and you’re unsure if he’s intentionally chosen a counter-argument you’d have trouble escaping or whether it was  inadvertent. “Eat what you can—it’s important during recovery, even if it might feel insignificant, or pointless.” You glance at him again, that strange feeling creeping into your chest at his wording—is it some kind of intuition that’s leading him to say these things? 
“…Will everyone be there?” You ask quietly, trying to calm yourself as the River House comes into view, not far away now. “Az will probably want to eat in his room,” Cassian answers neutrally after a temporary pause, “but everyone else will. You’ll be sitting besides Elain.” There was no reason to add that on. 
You can’t manage it, but you can’t figure a way to escape. There’s no out you can find—saying you aren’t hungry, or you’re tired won’t get you out of it, he’s already said to just eat what you can meaning you have to have at least a bite or two. But the idea of sitting with all of them, when everything is still so unclear…You can’t. 
The River House looms before you, and you can swear you feel a cold sweat appear on your back, hands turning unnaturally clammy, so accustomed to the skin being dry and flaky that to feel the dampness on your palms has slippery discomfort roiling in your stomach. 
Cassian walks up the steps, hand settling on the door, and you watch in motion slower than usual as he begins to turn the handle.  
A slight breeze blows, pulling strands of your hair forward, as if trying to push you into the House, and Cassian pauses, door opened only a few inches. Beats pass, but you keep utterly still, both wanting the moment to end but also desiring nothing more than to run from the oncoming meal. 
Strangely observant hazel eyes flick over a broad shoulder, meeting your own set and you tense, hairs rising at the nape of your neck, getting that same feeling you’d had when speaking with Rhys, that he can somehow see through you too clearly, like you’re too easy to read. Fearing what he’ll be able to find before you’ve had the chance to discover it. Watching you fumble in the dark for something that was so easy to locate. Struggling with a problem embarrassingly simple to decipher. 
“You don’t need to be scared,” he says, holding your gaze. Are you really that easy to see through? But then he continues, and the surrounding world warps a little. 
“You have a right to be at that table as much as any of us,” he says, those keen hazel eyes remaining steady. “Keep that in mind, when you go in.” 
Then the door’s opening wider, and the smell of a hot meal wafts out into the night. You trail behind him, latch clicking at your back, following as he makes his way to the dining room. He had believed the words he’d told you, that you were deserving of a seat at their table. You can’t really bring yourself to believe it, but his sincerity has shaken your ground a little. 
His expression shifts when he rounds a corner, brows rising as his lips part in a broad smile, voices rising in greeting and you can see why Feyre treasures his company. He’s surprisingly gentle, oddly perceptive. 
They probably all already knew that, though. It’s your fault for casting roles on them before really even getting to know them, assigning characters after only a handful of proper conversations. If only you’d made the effort to step out of your own little circle, maybe the circumference wouldn’t be as strangling as it’s become. 
If you’d stepped out sooner, could you have been first choice? 
But, glancing again at Cassian, his profile captured in a look between irritation and affection, turning the corner into the dining room and seeing the scrunch of Feyre’s brow as she replies to whatever he’d said…no. It wouldn’t have mattered. 
But it’s not the end of the world that you weren’t made that way. 
————
It’s good to see her smiling again, he thinks. 
With the past months having been so draining, the symptoms of her restlessness only exacerbated in the last few days given the turmoil they’ve all been thrown into, it’s good to see the light in her eyes gleaming again. More than just good, but there isn’t quite a word right enough to express the soul-deep relief he feels at seeing her smile. A strange conviction that everything will be okay now that she’s on the way better. 
Her ears twitch once before she’s shooting him a half-glare, having felt his gaze roaming over her. “Family dinner, Rhys,” she snaps under her breath, but he can see the heat in her eyes, the silent agreement that’s exchanged in the brief moments their gaze locks, and Rhys’ mouth curves suggestively, his brows rising in feigned ignorance. “I’m sure I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he murmurs, looking down at his mate with an intensity he knows she adores. And yet she lightly smacks his thigh anyway. 
“I’m serious,” Feyre warns, that heat dissipating as Cassian picks a seat at the table, dragging the feet across the floorboards with a grating noise that’s thankfully drowned out by chatter while a smaller figure quietly follows after him, taking one of the two remaining open seats. Unlike Cassian, she lifts her chosen seat from the floor, trying to keep as silent as possible and blend into the background as she sits beside Elain. “Don’t scare her off,” Feyre murmurs under her breath. Rhys hums compliantly, eyes twinkling as he spends a few extra moments looking at his mate. Moments he thinks he might at long last be beginning to lean into.
“Where’s Mor?” Cassian interrupts, and Rhys reluctantly shifts his attention to his brother, who has taken the seat opposite Feyre. He sometimes wonders if Cassian choses moves like this intentionally, whether they’re conscious decisions or whether these actions result from a wish to have his family united. Cassian isn’t like himself or Az, wasn’t taught to conceal his emotions as they were—well, in his own case it was taught. For Az it was a matter of survival. 
“Taking supper up to Az,” Nesta’s voice cuts through the previously enjoyable atmosphere, the noise similar to recognising the hiss of steel being drawn within a temple. A few centuries ago, his ears might have twitched at the distinctly unpleasant intrusion, but Cassian’s eyes have already left his own to seek out the icy silver of his mate’s, softened at their edges. 
“More than just supper,” Amren comments, one space over to Rhys’ right, sat at a corner seat. “She took an entire bottle of wine with her.” Laughter rises, and Rhys allows his attention to briefly sweep over across the table where the two sisters are involved in conversation, as if there’s no one else to speak with. He supposes one of them might very well believe that, and with a fraction of a thought swiftly removes the precautionary enchantment of the silverware so they won’t vanish if she reaches for them. 
At least she’s there, though he’s fairly confident Cassian has something to do with it. Rhys can picture how the light in Feyre’s eyes might flicker learning she had found a way to shut herself away in a house where avoiding others was almost impossible without intent. No amount of luck or coincidence would keep her entirely hidden. Especially over meals. 
Violet eyes return to his left, feeling the familiar ease that settles through him at the reminder of Feyre’s presence. A deeply-treasured reprieve from the strain and stress that’s been thriving amongst them as of late. 
————
“How was the check-up with Madja, by the way?” Elain asks, using one of the large wooden spoons to shift a few roast potatoes onto her plate. 
You nod slightly, lips pressing together in a small smile that you hope is reassuring. “Good, for the most part,” you reply. “I think she still wants to observe what happens for now, but she did…do something, which might have helped?” It reminds you of the lightness in your lungs, the strange openness of your throat and you instinctively take in a deeper breath, basking in that odd clearness. Elain hums in question, silently offering you the spoon for potatoes, but you shake your head politely. “I’m not sure…I don’t think dinner is the best place to discuss those check-ups,” you say quietly, a half-smile on your mouth. Elain’s lips curve, eyes gleaming as she nods in agreement, “you’re probably right.” Then she glances across the table before returning her gaze to yours, a new, preempted question already rising to her mouth. “What are you going to eat?” 
The smile on your lips becomes strained, gloved hands shifting in your lap as you keep the orange, silk scarf pulled over your arms to conceal the wretched skin. You wish you’d at least had the chance to change before coming here—your mind will mostly be preoccupied with making sure none of them are forced to see the state beneath the silk. “If I’m honest, I’m not really that hungry…” you hedge, but Elain gives you a look that tells you she won’t stand for it. Although it comes from a place of care and love, you can’t help feeling a little suffocated. 
“Just have a couple of bites, okay?” Elain reasons gently, “Madja’s told us it’s good for you to eat, it’ll help you recover.” 
“Apparently Madja’s been saying that a lot,” you mutter under your breath. 
“Madja’s a highly respected healer,” Amren cuts in from across the table, her eyes sharp as they pierce into you. “If she’s said you should eat, you should eat.” 
You aren’t sure if you imagine the way the noise level seems to drop at that, but the familiarly dull pain of humiliation flickers across your chest, ashamed to have sounded so ungrateful. Your head lowers a little, unable to think of a reply as your hands wring together beneath the table, tucked away in your lap. 
“Unless you really feel sick,” Elain interjects a little defensively, her hand subconsciously placing itself on your upper arm in what you’re certain she intends to be a comforting gesture—in truth it causes your flesh to ache, but you keep your mouth shut. “I’m sure I can manage a bite or two,” you get out with a small smile and you hate that you know it won’t reach your eyes, so keep your head slightly ducked as you put a few potatoes on your plate. You can come down later, once everyone’s gone to bed if you’re still hungry. 
A beat passes, and Elain shifts at your side, a fresh smile on her face, trying to brighten your mood—you dip a little lower at that, that she feels responsible, but if you don’t pull yourself together she’ll keep doing it. “How did you and Cassian bump into one another?” She asks, reaching for something else on the table that you don’t look at. Cassian doesn’t make to answer, so you have to, feeling the distinct weight of the table’s attention. “Just coincidence, I suppose,” you reply, managing a faint smile, keeping your eyes on your plate as you slice one of the roast potatoes in two, steam wafting up from the hot centre. 
“Went out for a walk?” Elain asks. There’s an almost unnoticeable tone of relief in the question—you probably wouldn’t have noticed if you weren’t as close to her as you are. Is that how easily she can pick out your own thoughts? “Fresh air’s probably good for you, right?” She says smiling, causing your own lips to curve at their edges fondly. “I think so,” you murmur in reply. 
“Have you had a chance to read any more books recently? I haven’t seen any in your room…I could get some if you want?” Feyre speaks from across the table, and you bite down on the way you want to shrink into yourself as the conversation is drawn over to you. “I haven’t, and it’s fine, thank you. Have you been painting recently?” You ask, swiftly shutting it down and shifting the conversation back to her, hoping you’ll be left out of it now. 
Rhys’s attention flits over her a split second before something passes behind Feyre’s eyes, but she swallows and nods. “There hasn’t been as much time as I’d like, but I’m finding moments,” she answers, but goes no further. You’re glad she’s still getting time to herself in spite of being High Lady and more importantly, a mother. You can’t imagine how difficult it must be if it’s taking up that much of her time…and you probably hadn’t helped…she’s been visiting each day… You should have succeeded. 
The passiveness of the thought catches you a little off guard. Since when had thoughts like that become so habitual? So flippant? You spear a piece of potato with your fork, bringing it to your mouth. It was just a fleeting thought, it’s fine. Weird things happen in the mind anyway, as long as you don’t mean it, you’re okay. 
“Would you…” Feyre’s asking, “be interested in joining me? We could have an easel set up in your room?” 
A part of the potato goes down the wrong way as you hear the question, hand grabbing the napkin as you cover your mouth, coughing. You clear your throat when you’re done, making sure to wipe your lips subtly as you pull the napkin away, sipping on the glass of water to help clear your throat. Once you’ve recovered, you remember her question. 
It would be nice. Really nice, actually, but… “it’s fine, please don’t worry. Painting’s your thing, and I think…personal, to you. Besides, I have my books,” you excuse, heart sinking a little, but it’s for the better. She’s already short on time anyway, she needs to keep that for herself, even if you can’t help but want it. 
The same look passes behind her eyes, and you now wonder if you can’t figure it out because…because you might no longer know her well enough. 
“It’s probably for the better,” Rhys announces, bringing the moment to a swift end, “Feyre’s nude models would probably upset your delicate sensibilities, anyway.” 
Your eyes widen and you nearly choke on air as wild, ferocious heat swarms your features, staring ahead, bewildered. 
Rhys grins as a fuming Feyre smacks him on the shoulder, indignant rage lighting her eyes. “Lies! All lies,” she snaps, before sparing you a somewhat apologetic glance. “He’s joking, obviously,” she reassures, shooting a glare Rhys’ way at that last part. “His humour’s apparently a few centuries out of date.”
“Speaking of things on the old side,” a golden voice calls from the hallway, parading into the dining room in heels tall and thin enough to potentially run someone through. “Rhys, is there another case of this stuff? Az wants some more.” 
The High Lord rolls his eyes, amusement clear, Feyre settling at his side, feigned anger dissipating as if it were never there, her eyes twinkling again. 
“We all know you finished off the bottle before you even reached Az’s room,” Amren snipes, thickly-jewelled fingers sparkling as she nurses her own glass, laughter rising from the table. 
“Oh, like you’re any better Amren. You could polish off bottles of blood in the time it took me to eat an appetiser,” Mor replies, heels clicking across the floor as she sweeps through the room in a flurry of vibrant red and stunning gold, taking her seat opposite Elain—between Amren and Rhys. 
One seat and across from your own position. 
The meal fully commencing now all able players are assembled at the table. 
——————————————————————————————————————————————
general taglist: @myheartfollower @tcris2020 @mali22 @slut4acotar @sfhsgrad-blog @needylilgal022 @hannzoaks @hnyclover @skyesayshi @nyotamalfoy @decomposing-writer @soph1644 @lilah-asteria @nighttimemoonlover
az taglist: @azrielshadows1nger @jurdanpotter @positivewitch @nightcourt-daydreaming @assassinsblade @marvelouslovely-barnes @v3lv3tf0x @kalulakunundrum @vellichor01 @throneofsmut @vickykazuya @starlitlakes
cbmthy taglist: @impossibelle @naturakaashi @fae-glamour-petrichorus @ficienjoyedrbspot @azriels-shadowsinger @marina468 @misstea12 @going-through-shit @fussel9913 @minakay
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nasa · 6 months
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A Geminid meteor streaks across the sky as the Soyuz TMA-19M spacecraft is rolled out by train to the launch pad at the Baikonur Cosmodrome on Sunday, Dec. 13, 2015, in Kazakhstan. Credit: NASA/Joel Kowsky
Make a Wish! How to See the Geminid Meteor Shower
Every December, we have a chance to see one of our favorite meteor showers – the Geminids. To help you prepare, we’ve answered some of your most commonly asked questions. Happy viewing, stargazers!
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These radar images of near-Earth object 3200 Phaethon were generated by astronomers at the National Science Foundation's Arecibo Observatory on Dec. 17, 2017. Observations of Phaethon were conducted at Arecibo from Dec. 15 through 19, 2017. At time of closest approach on Dec. 16 at 3 p.m. PST (6 p.m. EST, 2300 UTC), the asteroid was about 6.4 million miles (10.3 million kilometers) away, or about 27 times the distance from Earth to the Moon. Credit: Arecibo Observatory/NASA/NSF
What are the Geminids?
The Geminids are caused by debris from a celestial object known as 3200 Phaethon striking Earth’s atmosphere. Phaethon’s origin is the subject of some debate. Some astronomers consider it to be an extinct comet, based on observations showing some small amount of material leaving its surface. Others argue that it has to be an asteroid because of its orbit and its similarity to the main-belt asteroid Pallas.
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All meteors appear to come from the same place in the sky, which is called the radiant. The Geminids appear to radiate from a point in the constellation Gemini, hence the name “Geminids.” The graphic shows the radiants of 388 meteors with speeds of 35 km/s observed by the NASA Fireball Network in December 2020. All the radiants are in Gemini, which means they belong to the Geminid shower. Credit: NASA
Why are they called the Geminids?
All meteors associated with a shower have similar orbits, and they all appear to come from the same place in the sky, which is called the radiant. The Geminids appear to radiate from a point in the constellation Gemini, hence the name “Geminids.”
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A Geminid streaks across the sky in this photo from December 2019. Credit: NASA
When is the best time to view them?
The Geminid meteor shower is active for much of December, but the peak will occur during the night of Dec. 13 into the morning of Dec. 14, 2023. Meteor rates in rural areas can be upwards of one per minute this year with minimal moonlight to interfere.
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What do I need to see them?
As with all meteor showers, all you need is a clear sky, darkness, a bit of patience, and perhaps warm outerwear and blankets for this one. You don’t need to look in any particular direction, as meteors can generally be seen all over the sky. If you want to take photographs, check out these helpful tips.
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An infographic based on 2019’s meteor camera data for the Geminids. Credit: NASA
Do you have any advice to help me see the Geminids better?
Find the darkest place you can and give your eyes about 30 minutes to adapt to the dark. Avoid looking at your cell phone, as it will disrupt your night vision. Lie flat on your back and look straight up, taking in as much sky as possible.
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A Geminid streaks across the sky in this photo from December 2011. Credit: NASA
What will the meteors look like?
According to Bill Cooke, lead for the Meteoroid Environment Office at NASA’s Marshall Space Flight Center in Huntsville, Alabama, “Most meteors appear to be colorless or white, however the Geminids appear with a greenish hue. They’re pretty meteors!” Depending on the meteor’s chemical composition, the meteor will emit different colors when burned in the Earth’s atmosphere. Oxygen, magnesium, and nickel usually produce green.
Make sure to follow us on Tumblr for your regular dose of space!
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brokenfoxproductions · 10 months
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Anyone: so, are you like... A man or a woman?
Me: *rolls D20*
1: my pronouns are he or they, usually
2: neither
3: it's complicated
4: I'm a man
5: I'm non-binary
6: I'm queer
7: I'm demi-masculine
8: I'm a trans guy
9: *shrugs*
10: I'm like a guy, but to the left
11: your guess is as good as mine
12: not a girl, not a woman, and not even a Janet anymore
13: *laughs awkwardly*
14: *completely changes subject*
15: .... What?
16: I'm just trying to get by, fam
17: I'm an experience ✨
18: if boys are blue and girls are pink, I'm green.
19: chaos
20: I am vengeance. I am the night. I am BATMAN.
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markster666 · 4 months
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INTRODUCTION / MASTERLIST - MARKSTER666 (18+) ♡
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⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。
Hello everyone! I'm a 20 year old psychology student with a love for writing. Welcome to my one and only writing (and shitposting) account. I have a hard time sticking with one fandom, but I mostly write reader inserts being paired with canon characters. I do take requests as well! Please check my bio to confirm that requests are open.
A lot of my content involves mature subjects and I strongly advise anyone under the age of 18 to steer clear from my profile.
MASTERLIST:
Last Updated: 2/29/24
Total Works: 22
Hazbin Hotel:
SFW:
Alastor:
Every Thought, You. (Alastor x Fem!Reader)
Alastor Reacting To Stereotypical Activist Gen Zer
NSFW:
Alastor:
Breeding B*tch (Alastor x Fem!Reader)
Tentacles (Alastor x Fem!Reader)
Cleanliness Is Next To - Oh Wait. (Alastor x Fem!OC RP Thread)
Good To Be Back On The Air! (Alastor x Fem!Reader)
Kinktober Day #1: Dry Humping (Alastor x Fem!Reader)
Kinktober Day #2: Face F*cking (Alastor x Fem!Reader)
Kinktober Day #3: Begging (Alastor x Fem!Reader)
Kinktober Day #4: Masturbation (Alastor x Fem!Reader)
Kinktober Day #5: Daddy Kink (Alastor x Fem!Reader)
Kinktober Day #6: Overstimulation (Alastor x Fem!Reader)
Kinktober Day #7: Praising (Alastor x Fem!Reader)
Kinktober Day #8: Sound Kink (Alastor x Fem!Reader)
Kinktober Day #9: Mirror Sex (Alastor x Fem!Reader)
Kinktober Day #10: Orgasm Control (Alastor x Fem!Reader)
Kinktober Day #11: Face Sitting (Alastor x Fem!Reader)
Kinktober Day #12: Lingerie Kink (Alastor x Fem!Reader)
Kinktober Day #13: Deep Throating (Alastor x Fem!Reader)
Kinktober Day #14: Roleplay (Alastor x Fem!Reader)
Kinktober Day #15: Food Play (Alastor x Fem!Reader)
Kinktober Day #16: Car Sex (Alastor x Fem!Reader)
Kinktober Day #17: Toys (Alastor x Fem!Reader) Kinktober Day #18: Uniform Kink (Alastor x Fem!Reader)
Kinktober Day #19: Morning Sex (Alastor x Fem!Reader)
Kinktober Day #21: Unprotected Sex (Alastor x Fem!Reader) -I skipped #20-
Anybody (over the age of 18) is welcome to show up in my dms and chat with me or put in a request! I don't bite.
It is NOT guaranteed that I will do your request nor is it guaranteed that I will do it quickly. I get writing blocks sometimes or I just genuinely can’t think of a good plot for your scenario yet but I’ll try my best.
SMUT / NSFW REQUESTS ARE ONLY CONSIDERED / ACCEPTED IF YOU HAVE CONFIRMATION THAT YOU'RE AN ADULT ON YOUR PROFILE. THANK YOU.
I have a pretty screwed up mind and will write about a lot so really, throw a prompt at me lol. I will also NOT do oc x oc, character x character, and character x oc.
FANDOMS
Helluva Boss
Hazbin Hotel
Five Night's At Freddy's
Harry Potter
South Park
SAW
WILL NOT WRITE (LIMITS):
P*dophilia
Scat / Pee / Vomit play
Female on Male Domination
N*crophilia
(If you have a taboo topic you want me to write about but I don't have it listed, feel free to ask!)
Vore
Thank you so much for visiting my blog and I hope I can hear from some of you soon!
⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆
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