#submission: athena5

[incorrectbatfam]

Bruce: Let's do a post-mortem on our failed mission to see what we did wrong.

Damian: We allowed idiots to make decisions.

Bruce: You say that every time.

Damian: I haven't been wrong yet.

#submitted by athena5 #source: dilbert #bruce wayne #batman #damian wayne #robin #batfamily #incorrect batfamily quotes #batfam #batboys #batbros #batkids #batsiblings #batman family #incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #dc comics #submission

[totallycorrectteentitansquotes]

Robin: [eating Frosted Flakes at breakfast]

Robin [thinking]: Alright, it’s a new day. All that stuff about Starfire, you don’t feel that now. It was crazy! You’re fine. You’re better than fine! You are, as your friend Tony would say, Grrrreat!

Robin: Everything’s normal! She’s just your friend, Starfire! Your friend, Starfire. Your friend. Starfire.

Starfire: Hello, Robin.

Robin [thinking]: Hey, it’s your girlfriend, Starfire!

Robin:

Robin: [facepalms]

~the next day~

Robin: [eating Cocoa Puffs at breakfast]

Robin [thinking about Starfire]: Alright, it’s a new day. And it’s just a crush, that’s all! Just a little crush! All that worrying I was doing, that was crazy. Crazy! Like my friend here the bird would say, it was “Cuckoo!“

Robin: Everything’s going to be fine. It’s just a crush...

Starfire: Hello, Robin.

Robin [thinking]: I love you.

Robin:

#f in the chat rob #submission: athena5 #robin #starfire #robstar #teen titans incorrect quotes #source: friends

[batfamquotes]

22 year-old damian wayne: When Jon made out with Mar'i, I was mad at him for 10 years.

19 year-old jon kent: That was like 5 years ago.

22 year-old damian wayne: Yeah, you got 5 years left.

19 year-old jon kent: Damian…

22 year-old damian wayne: You wanna make it 6?!

#damian wayne #jon kent #mar'i grayson #jon x mar'i #batfam #my post #thanks to athena5 for the submission

[totallycorrectteentitansquotes]

[Titans East Tower is a mess]

Bumblebee: Mar’i is coming over tonight, and she can’t see this.

Red X: Oh, come on. By age seven, kids have already seen bar fights.

Everyone:

Red X: Was it just me?

#red x chilling with titans east i love that energy #submission: athena5 #bumblebee #red x #teen titans incorrect quotes #source: friends

[totallycorrectteentitansquotes]

Jinx: There are so many things that Beast Boy disapproves of! I can’t eat veal, I can’t wear fur, I can’t go hunting...

Wally: Do you wanna go hunting?

Jinx: Well, I would like to have the option!

#love u jinx #submission: athena5 #jinx #wally west #kid flash #teen titans incorrect quotes #source: friends

[totallycorrectteentitansquotes]

Raven: Just when you think Beast boy’s jokes are terrible, something wonderful happens.

Starfire: What?

Raven: They end.

#queen #submission: athena5 #raven #starfire #beast boy #teen titans incorrect quotes #source: the muppet show

[incorrectbatfam]

Clark, noticing Jon’s change in behavior: Why is he acting like this?

Bruce: Well, he’s undergoing major myelination and synaptic pruning in the orbital frontal cortex and excitatory neurotransmitters, all of which have massive implications on risk-taking and vulnerability to boredom.

Clark: What?

Bruce: He’s a teenager.

#submitted by athena5 #source: spark a space trail #clark kent #superman #bruce wayne #batman #jon kent #superboy #superfamily #justice league #batfamily #incorrect batfamily quotes #batfam #batclan #batman family #incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #dc comics #submission

[incorrectbatfam]

Damian: I’m adopting a blue whale and keeping it in my bathtub.

Arthur: Damian, blue whales can grow over one hundred feet.

Damian: Clearly you haven’t seen my bathtub.

#submitted by athena5 #source: suite life on deck #damian wayne #robin #arthur curry #aquaman #aquafamily #batfamily #incorrect batfamily quotes #batfam #batboys #batbros #batkids #batsiblings #batclan #batman family #incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #dc comics #submission

[incorrectbatfam]

Damian: *shows up to a costume party in regular clothes*

Guest: Where’s your costume?

Damian: This is my costume. I’m a homicidal maniac. They look just like everybody else.

#submitted by athena5 #source: addams family #damian wayne #robin #batfamily #incorrect batfamily quotes #batfam #batboys #batbros #batkids #batsiblings #batclan #batman family #incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #dc comics #tw violence mention #tw halloween #submission

[incorrectbatfam]

Barbara, barging into the room: Bruce!

Bruce: Excuse me, this is a private meeting.

Barbara: Oh, my foot’s about to have a meeting with your privates!

Bruce: Meeting requests go through Alfred.

Alfred: What time is your foot available?

#submitted by athena5 #source: moonbeam city #bruce wayne #batman #barbara gordon #oracle #alfred pennyworth #justice league #birds of prey #batfamily #incorrect batfamily quotes #batfam #batboys #batkids #batsiblings #incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #dc comics #submission #tw violence mention

[incorrectbatfam]

Conner, pointing at his dessert: Now this all better be here when I come back.

Cassandra: Yeah, of course. I can control myself.

~ later ~

Conner: *returns to see his dessert gone and Cass with chocolate all over her face*

Cassandra, licking her fingers: I’m not even sorry.

#submitted by athena5 #source: friends #conner kent #superboy #cassandra cain #black bat #superfamily #young justice #birds of prey #batfamily #incorrect batfamily quotes #batfam #batkids #batsiblings #incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #dc comics #tw food mention #submission

[incorrectbatfam]

Leslie: Okay, let’s switch gears. Do a little word association. What do you think of when I say the word “bottle”?

Jason: Liquor store. Hold up. Gun. Die.

Leslie: How about “grass”?

Jason: Marijuana. Drugs. Gun. Die.

Leslie: Cat.

Jason: Kitten. Cute. Calm. False sense of security. Gun. Die!

#submitted by athena5 #source: brooklyn nine nine #leslie thompkins #jason todd #red hood #red hood and the outlaws #batfamily #incorrect batfamily quotes #batfam #batbros #batboys #batkids #batsiblings #incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #dc comics #submission #tw alchohol mention #tw drug mention #tw gun mention #tw death mention #tw mental health

[batfamquotes]

bruce wayne: So what? You think I’m just gonna sleep with her and never call her again and things are gonna get uncomfortable?

*thinks about it*

bruce wayne: Yeah, sounds about right.

#thanks to athena5 for the submission #bruce wayne #batman #batdad #batfam #my post