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subterfugespecialist · 2 years

Text

==> Begin.

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2

8 trolls with poor interpersonal skills, relationship troubles, and trauma all play Sburb together. What could go wrong?

AO3 Link

Pairings in this chapter: platonic LAM, platonic royality, and caliginous prinxiety

Word count: 2635

A/N: It’s 2022 and I’m making a Homestuck AU. I'm doing this man. I'm making this happen. While I am posting on Tumblr, I do recommend reading on AO3! I think the Homestuck skin makes it much easier to read the pesterlogs there. The pesterlogs on AO3 are color coded and in the correct format.

==> Begin.

A young man stands in his respiteblock. It just so happens that this young man is nearing his SEVENTH WRIGGLING DAY, meaning he will soon be sent OFF PLANET to serve her IMPERIAL CONDESCENSION. But due eto this young man's unfortunate happenstance, he will more likely be CULLED than sent into space.

But it seems he has more immediate troubles to deal with.

What will you do?

==> Hide

You make your way as fast as you can into the bunker your lusus dug for you. He's already waiting to usher you in.

==> Message friends

With trembling hands, you pull out your palmhusk, praying to whatever god may be out there that you weren't spotted through the window.

goeticCalamity [GC] began trolling affableAegis [AA] and acerbicTelegnosis [AT]

GC: fuck fuck fuck shit fuck

AT: What's wr∆ng?

AA: ♥ deep breaths! y*ure *kay! well help y*u thr*ugh th!s ♥

GC: nø its nøt øka)Y( and nø )Y(øu cant help me with this

GC: theres a drøne øutside

GC: i live in an abandøned hivebatch wh)Y( wøuld a drøne be here???

GC: im fucked im fucked im sø fucked im gøing tø die

AA: ♥ why w*uld !t k!ll y*u? y*u arent d*!ng anyth!ng wr*ng ♥

GC: )Y(øu dønt need a reasøn tø kill a rust bløø∂

GC: we get culled før fun

GC: shit i think i heard it im gøing tø die im gøing tø die

AA: ♥ st*p say!ng that!! cull!ng dr*nes d*nt k!ll f*r "fun." y*u are g*!ng t* be f!ne! ♥

AT: D∆ y∆u have a place y∆u can hide?

GC: )Y(eah m)Y( lusus dug a hidden bunker

GC: im in it right nøw

AT: Turn ∆ff y∆ur palmhusk in case it can track it.

AT: Message us again when y∆u are safe.

GC: shit )Y(eah økay

GC: løøk if things gø bad and this is the last time i get tø talk tø )Y(øu guys...

AA: ♥ !t w*nt be! well talk aga!n !n a few m!nutes ♥

GC: i just want )Y(øu tø knøw that...

GC: nvm

goeticCalamity [GC] ceased trolling affableAegis [AA] and acerbicTelegnosis [AT]

==>

You cover your mouth with your hands to try to control your breathing as you hear the hum of the drone get closer. You wish your lusus would stop fucking moving. The scuttering of all his legs are making it harder to hear.

After a few more agonizing minutes you eventually hear the drone's humming get softer and softer until it stops completely, but you still stay hidden for a good ten more minutes before you can get yourself to stand up.

You don't make it very far back up top before you collapse to your knees, shaking out labored breaths as you realize your crying. Your claws dig into your arms as you squeeze your eyes shut, trying to control your breathing but to no avail. Your nails continue to dig into your skin, nearly drawing blood until you feel your lusus next to you. He pushes you into a sitting position and places his head in your lap. The weight helps ground you and the repetitive motions of petting his head eventually calm you down enough to stop crying.

Good giant spider. Best friend.

You shoot your friends a message that you lived before collapsing in your recupricoon. You need a fucking nap.

==> Stop being GC. Be AA

You are now AA, a little bit in the past.

As a jade, you have a lot of responsibilities in the brooding caverns to watch over all the little grubs that hatched or the little trolls that just pupated. Okay, well, technically you're supposed to leave them alone to let the weak die off, but you've given yourself those extra responsibilities.

Nevertheless, you are a very busy troll, but you do manage to get some time alone back in your hive. You are very worried about your dear friend and you haven't been able to stop staring at your palmhusk since he stopped messaging you.

==>

affableAegis [AA] began trolling acerbicTelegnosis [AT]

AA: ♥ d* y*u th!nk hell be *kay? ♥

AT: As l∆ng as he stays hidden, I think he will be fine.

AT: Like he said, he lives in a hivebatch that had been previ∆usly destr∆yed. I'm sure this is just a r∆utine inspection and the dr∆ne will have n∆ reas∆n t∆ c∆nduct a deep search.

AA: ♥ g*sh ! h*pe y*ure r!ght ♥

AA: ♥ !m just s* w*rr!ed ab*ut h!m ♥

AT: I kn∆w.

AA: ♥ y*u d*nt th!nk the dr*ne w*uld actually cull h!m, r!ght? !t w*uld have n* reas*n t* ♥

AT: He is a part of the l∆west bl∆∆d caste. Many view them as the m∆st expendable. ∆ne d∆es n∆t need a str∆ng reas∆n t∆ excuse their culling ∆f a rust bl∆∆d.

AA: ♥ but they aren't "expendable!!" y*u d*nt th!nk that d* y*u? ♥

AT: As they are ∆ne ∆f the m∆st p∆pulated castes and have the l∆west lifespan, I can see why s∆me∆ne wh∆ places value ∆n the hem∆spectrum w∆uld view the death ∆f a rust bl∆∆d as unimp∆rtant and inc∆nsequential.

AA: ♥ >:( ♥

AT: But t∆ answer y∆ur questi∆n, n∆. I d∆ n∆t think that.

AA: ♥ :) ♥

AT: While I kn∆w this is an in∆pp∆rtune time f∆r y∆u, I must take my leave t∆ g∆ t∆ the b∆∆khive. If I'm n∆t diligent I'll fall behind in my studies. And I'm sure y∆u jades have a l∆t ∆f w∆rk t∆ d∆ as well, s∆ I will talk t∆ y∆u again later.

AA: ♥ we all kn*w y*u are far ahead *f all the *ther teals mr smartypants ♥

AA: ♥ !t !snt g**d f*r y*u t* use w*rk t* distract y*urself fr*m y*ur feel!ngs ♥

AA: ♥ ! kn*w y*ure w*rr!ed t**. y*u can talk t* me !f y*u need t*. !ts *kay ♥

AT: ...

AT: While the sentiment is appreciated, y∆u d∆ n∆t need t∆ w∆rry ab∆ut me.

AT: I am simply trying t∆ stay ahead.

AT: ... W∆uld /y∆u/ like t∆ talk ab∆ut anything...?

AA: ♥ *h! uhh n*pe !m all g**d here ♥

AA: ♥ n*th!ng t* talk ab*ut n*th!ng at all ♥

AT: ...

AT: I d∆n't believe y∆u. But since I am pr∆bably the last person ∆ne w∆uld want to c∆nfide in ab∆ut em∆ti∆ns, I will leave it be f∆r n∆w.

AA: ♥ :I ♥

AT: D∆ take care ∆f y∆urself.

acerbicTelegnosis [AT] ceased trolling affableAegis [AA]

==>

gallantAesthete [GA] started trolling affableAegis [AA]

GA: ^^^ Hello, dear friend! ^^^

GA: ^^^ 1 savv a sma11 vio1et today. She vvas strvgg1ing to vse a trident. ^^^

GA: ^^^ Vpon c1oser inspection 1 savv in her hair a green c1ip 1 knovv once be1onged to my favorite jade. ^^^

GA: ^^^ She to1d me her name vvas Preiza - said she knevv yov. ^^^

GA: ^^^ So 1 tavght her hovv to proper1y vse that trident. She shov1d be vvell eqvipped to protect herself novv. ^^^

GA: ^^^ 1 thovght yov'd 1ike to know she's a1ive. ^^^

AA: ♥ yes thank y*u ♥

GA: ^^^ So vvhy had she been vvith yov? ^^^

AA: ♥ she came *ut *f pupati*n s* small. ! knew she w*uldnt make !t thr*ugh the tr!als ♥

AA: ♥ ! h!d her !n my h!ve unt!l she was b!gger and str*nger ♥

GA: ^^^ Then 1 knovv yov'11 1ove to knovv she seemed to be doing very vve11 for herse1f. ^^^

GA: ^^^ She to1d me yov p1cked her 1usus yourse1f? ^^^

AA: ♥ !m s*rry !d l*ve t* tell y*u ab*ut her later but n*ws n*t a great t!me ♥

GA: ^^^ VVhat's vvrong? ^^^

GA: ^^^ Te11 me vvhatever ai1s yov and 1'11 cv11 the sovrce immediate1y. ^^^

AA: ♥ n* !d rather y*u d!dnt ♥

AA: ♥ !m w*rried a*ut GC ♥

GA: ^^^ Ah. ^^^

GA: ^^^ VVhat did that petvlant pessimist get himse1f into this time? ^^^

AA: ♥ he was w*rr!ed ab*ut gett!ng culled by a dr*ne ♥

GA: ^^^ That drama qveen gets himse1f vvorked vp over nothing. ^^^

GA: ^^^ Even thovgh he's a rvst b1ood, he is a hea1thy yovng tro11 vvho is perfect1y capab1e of serving Her 1mperial Condescension. ^^^

GA: ^^^ So no drone is going to cu11 him. P1ease don't vvorry yovrse1lf about that. ^^^

GA: ^^^ 1 hate to see yov vpset. ^^^

AA: ♥ ! kn*w !ts just... he seemed s* sure *f !t...♥

AA: ♥ but y*ure pr*bably r!ght ♥

GA: ^^^ Of covrse 1 am! ^^^

GA: ^^^ Yov have nothing to vvorry abovt. ^^^

GA: ^^^ Can vve ta1k instead abovt the next time yov can leave that damn cavern? ^^^

GA: ^^^ 1t fee1s 1ike 1 haven't seen yov in svveeps. ^^^

AA: ♥ ! kn*w !ve just been s* busy! ♥

AA: ♥ theres always s* much f*r a jade t* d*. ♥

GA: ^^^ Maybe 1 shov1d just kidnap yov and keep yov here vvith me. ^^^

GA: ^^^ 1'm high enovgh b1ood they'd 1et me do it. ^^^

AA: ♥ but y*u w*nt ♥

GA: ^^^ No. ^^^

GA: ^^^ Yov knovv 1'd never do anything that makes yov vnhappy. ^^^

GA: ^^^ But 1 do miss yov. ^^^

AA: ♥ ! m!ss y*u t** :( ♥

AA: ♥ whenever ! get free t!me y*ull be the f!rst t* kn*w ♥

AA: ♥ !ve been away fr*m w*rk long enough n*w. ! need t* get back ♥

AA: ♥ !ll message y*u later th*ugh! ♥

affableAegis [AA] ceased trolling gallantAesthete [GA]

GA: ^^^ :( ^^^

==> Go back to being GC

You go back to being GC, back in the present.

Now that you are feeling significantly better after your brief nap, it's time for a proper introduction.

Your name is VIRGIL DURANT. As mentioned earlier, you are nearing your SEVENTH WRIGGLING DAY. But you don't like to think about that as it causes you EPISODES OF GREAT ANXIOUSNESS. It is something you've been meaning to discuss with your friends, but have yet to bring it up.

You have a variety of interests including UNDERGROUND MUSICIANS, mostly of the lowblood assortment, PROVING THE EXISTENCE OF THE SUPERNATURAL, as well as BOOKS AND MOVIES OF THE HORROR VARIETY.

Your sign is ARITTARIUS, sign of the ASTRONAUT.

Your trolltag is goeticCalamity and )Y(øu speak in a sørt of quiet, grumbled manner.

After dealing with the ordeal of leaving your recupricoon and getting the sopor slime off your body, you check your palmhusk and see you have some messages from your friends.

It should be noted that in troll language, the word for friend is exactly the same as the word for enemy.

==>

affableAegis [AA] started trolling goeticCalamity [GC]

AA: ♥ !m s* glad t* hear y*ure *kay! ♥

AA: ♥ y*u really had me w*rr!ed ♥

AA: ♥ h*w are y*u feel!ng? ♥

AA: ♥ ! kn*w that was really scary ♥

AA: ♥ d* y*u want t* talk ab*ut anything? ♥

GC: i think im just gønna take it eas)Y( the rest øf the night

GC: ill talk tø )Y(øu tømorrow

AA: ♥ well, !f y*ure sure! ♥

AA: ♥ but ! th!nk !ts better to talk ab*ut th!ngs that are worry!ng y*u ♥

goeticCalamity [GC] ceased trolling affableAegis [AA]

==>

acerbicTelegnosis [AT] started trolling goeticCalamity [GC]

AT: If y∆u w∆uld like security cameras t∆ place ar∆und y∆ur hivebatch, y∆u need ∆nly ask and I will have them sent t∆ y∆u immediately.

GC: that... wøuld actuall)Y( be reall)Y( nice

GC: but )Y(øu knøw i cant afførd tø pa)Y( )Y(øu back right nøw

GC: )Y(øu remember my stipend is basicall)Y( nøthing, right?

AT: And y∆u remember that I hardly use much ∆f my ∆wn stipend, right?

AT: I d∆n't understand y∆ur insistence that y∆u pay me back.

AT: The m∆ney isn't imp∆rtant to me.

AT: I've already placed the ∆rder. Expect a package fr∆m me in a few days.

GC: gød dammit )Y(øu asshøle

GC: ...thanks

AT: Y∆u are welc∆me.

AT: Get s∆me rest. I have w∆rk I have t∆ d∆.

AT: C∆ntact me if s∆mething c∆mes up.

AT: But if n∆t, I'll speak t∆ y∆u t∆m∆rr∆w.

acerbicTelegnosis [AT] ceased pestering goeticCalamity [GC]

==>

gallantAesthete [GA] started pestering goeticCalamity [GC]

GA: ^^^ So are yov dead? ^^^

GA: ^^^ Or vvas 1 correct in my assvmption that everything vvas fine and yov vvere jvst overreacting again? ^^^

GC: øh fuck øff )Y(øu asshøle

GC: )Y(øu have nø idea what happened nør is it /an)Y( øf )Y(øur fucking business/

GA: ^^^ 1t becomes my bvsiness vvhen yov vpset my best friend. ^^^

GA: ^^^ 1 wov1d rea11y appreciate it if yov didn't distress him over every 1itt1e inconvenience. ^^^

GC: fuck thats høw )Y(øu føund øut? aa tøld )Y(øu?

GC: remind me tø have a cønversatiøn with him tømørrøw abøut nøt sharing øther peøples persønal business

GA: ^^^ 1 wi11 do no svch thing. ^^^

GA: ^^^ Bvt yes, he confided vvith me becavse he vvas vvorried abovt yov. ^^^

GA: ^^^ For some reason. ^^^

GA: ^^^ And 1 can't stand to ever see AA vpset. ^^^

GC: gød damn what are )Y(øu his matesprit ør sømething

GC: because newsflash dickwad løts øf shit øn this planet upsets him

GC: and ønly an insane fanatic wøuld attempt to quell literall)Y( ever)Y(thing that upsets him

GC: hes the møst sensitive fucker on this planet

GC: sø yøu are giving øff major creepil)Y( øbsessed red quadrant vibes right nøw

GA: ^^^ Not that my red qvadrants are any of yov're bvsiness bvt no. 1 do not have any red fee1ings for him. ^^^

GA: ^^^ 1 jvst think he's the on1y tro11 on this p1anet worth giving a fvck abovt. ^^^

GC: well shit theres the first thing we can actually agree øn

GC: but nøw )Y(øu can leave me aløne cause im fine and aa is fine and ever)Y(thing is just fucking fantastic

GC: sø b)Y(e

GA: ^^^ Ho1d on. ^^^

GC: uuuugggghhhh

GA: ^^^ Novv that 1 actua11y have yovr attention for once... ^^^

GA: ^^^ 1 vvant to fina11y get an ansvver from yov abovt that second hate date. ^^^

GC: ha

GC: like id ever want tø see )Y(øur ugly mug in persøn again

goeticCalamity [GC] ceased trolling gallantAesthete [GA]

==>

You groan into your hands after you close Trollian.

In truth, you haven't been able to stop thinking of that first hate date. You really, really want to go on another and hate flirt that stupid, sexy smirk off his face.

But he can't see you in person anymore. Not like this.

The sun doesn't rise for another few hours, so it would be a bad idea for you to go back to your recupricoon unless you want to thoroughly fuck over your sleep schedule, and both AA and AT have given you enough shit about that.

You try watching GrubTube but nothing can stop that consistent anxious nagging in your mind reminding you of all the shit you've got to do before your seventh wriggling day.

Fuck, why have you put it all off? You are such a piece of shit.

Eventually you give in and slip into your recupricoon just to get the thoughts to stop - sleep schedule be damned.

As you slip into unconsciousness, you get the feeling it's going to be a long week.

Thanks for reading! I am taking ==> requests if you'd like the characters to do something :)

#sanders sides #homestuck #virgil sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #roman sanders #prinxiety

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mallowstep · 2 years

Note

sorry im not in the wc fandom but i just wanted to tell u that my friend found out he had a daddy kink thru ur fic and hes crying and screaming xd by the way my friend gushes abt u sound like a fantastic author!

i am SCREECHING dslkjalsdkj;fdas;kjlaf

god what is with everyone and talking about me with my friends. there r NOT that many of you so one of y'all is really chatty or smthn in which case 🥰

okay to person who discovered you have a daddy kink: my ex discovered he had a daddy kink when he was jokingly like "call me daddy," i was like "okay sure daddy," and he was like "wait no i want to call you daddy." true story. i don't have a daddy kink n i emotionally connect w people by telling relevant anecdotes so uh. yeah. hope u find a daddy/get to be someone's daddy, hats off to u.

and ASDLFKJADSL;JFK i cannot believe ur talking about me to your friends like. scream.

i need you to understand: let matthew set the scene for you. the year is 20[redacted you don't get to know how old i am]. baby matthew is like...13? 14? all of his friends r homestucks reading fics etc etc etc.

okay whoops so below the cut will be the full version, which, like. just gets into some of my experiences with sexuality. there's nothing bad/that needs a warning, but (a) it's getting long and (b) ehhhhh i don't really feel comfortable being the adult talking about discovering one's sexuality to youngsters, so. that's a 16+ below the cut.

the tldr is: me and my friends did something very similar and it is WILD to me that i am the person WRITING that now. absolutely wild. cannot believe it (and yet it's true).

again everyone i'm looking for 16+ only down here. now. where i left of:

all sorts of nonsense happens as things do when ur teens. i would LOVE to make jokes but they'd require explaining fandom context so the tl/dr is if you think i'm problematic NOW, you should've seen me back then. so okay so we're trading fics, y'know the usual "i can't believe i read this trust me you have to read this." nyway.

the fic of the hour, the one that i am telling you this story to get to, is by the one and only 2x2verse (agent_florida). now, what you have to know about them is that they've written 138 fics over about ten years, and 87 of them are explicit. i will not be linking what i am about to talk about because, well, i have a thing about not directly linking to certain things, and y'all just have to deal with that. i am giving you all the information you need.

now, 2x2verse is not the only foundational author from this period. thermodynamicActivity was and remains my poison of choice (and poison is the wrong word to use, as "i will read all their dreams to the stars" may have saved my life), NoBrandHero is another favourite, but come now, we all know where i am going with this story.

back to the point.

2x2verse has a good deal of content, a lot of it set in college aus. my mind is telling me it is because they were in college at the time, but that isn't necessarily true. i was a young teen. young teens are incredibly unaware. so.

baby kk, the one and only, sends me "> command line", which is, well...i do always struggle with how to explain things for people, but all you need to know is it's about a crack ship that would make you go, "i'm sorry, who and how?"

and it's a daddy kink fic.

well, it's a lot of things.

now, this is NOT the story of how matthew discovered he had a daddy kink. as established, i do not. matthew knew what he was into from a young age because he was born a kinky fucker and will die a kinky fucker. [note: by this i mean, much in the same way many a young gay know this long before they experience sexual/romantic attraction, so it was with me.]

however.

i cannot QUITE explain the experience of one's friend sending something to you with the tone of, "oh, i liked this. i liked this please read it." and you look at it and go, "god i can't believe i'm about to read this." (of note: i did not even have the grace of command line being a serious fic about trauma.)

this is a core memory.

while i don't know if this is a core memory for the two of you, i cannot properly express the oddity of this. here i am, the struggling college student of my dreams. i am up too late, experiencing Life, etc., wondering if i need to add a scene or two to the...ehh it's too hard to explain you'll see wednesday fic, and i get this ask, and i just.

fucking hell, man.

you ever realize like. my life aspirations as a child were fucking SHIT. not that this isn't good but like my life aspirations as a child knew i was going to b fucking. sdflaj;. anyway.

this means a lot to me to hear, i am going to bed bc it is v late n i JUST told my therapist very proudly that i fixed my sleep schedule, so i have to make that be true.

#mine #ask #anon #ask hall of fame

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albapuella · 4 years

Text

believe in me who believes in you

AO3 Link! Fandom: Homestuck Pairing: Davekat Summary: Meat!Karkat meets Candy!Dave... he is not impressed. Tags: The Homestuck Epilogues, Homestuck 2: Beyond Canon, Earth C (Homestuck), Canonical Character Death, Dialogue Heavy, this is not a bashing fic, Character Study, Ableist Language, one instance of the r slur Author’s Note: More Davekat Thirst Federation indulgence. I'm pretty happy, over all, with how this one came out (and the fine folks at DTF really enjoyed it!), so I've decided to share it with the rest of you. Enjoy!

The figure on the floor is familiar. Too familiar. "Dave?"

No answer.

He creeps closer, as though making any noise at all will cause something terrible to happen. As though anything more terrible could happen. Karkat has seen enough death in his life to recognize it. Dave is too still. Much too still.

It's not until he's close enough to reach out an touch him that Karkat realizes how old Dave looks. Karkat has seen older humans, but it's different when it's Dave. Deep, unhappy lines are deeply etched into his face. Lines he'd never thought he'd ever see there. It looks... it looks wrong.

"What the fuck happened to you?"

No answer. But of course there wouldn't be.

Except there is.

"I got an upgrade."

Karkat's eyes jerk upwards, and he's looking into a metallic face. A horrible, silvery mimicry of Dave's face. He supposes, with an edge of giddy hysteria, that it only makes sense that a robot would have such a blank look, but it makes his insides twist painfully. It's been a long time since he's seen Dave make this particular non-expression. "What?"

"I got an upgrade," Dave? repeats blandly as though he were talking about nothing more interesting than the fact it would rain tomorrow. "Looks like you got an upgrade, too, Karkat. Nice work with the eye. I'd never know you'd lost it."

Karkat has no idea what Dave's talking about, but he sure feels like he's lost it. It being his sanity. "What the fuck?"

Dave only regards him coolly. "Look, I only came back because Aradia wanted to pick up Sollux, and I figured I'd see how corpse me was doing." He makes a bare movement of his fingers in the direction of said corpse. "Ugh. I forgot how uggo I was."

There is so much wrong with these statements, Karkat can't decide which thing to focus on. "Why... I don't understand. Sollux?" He shakes his head. Of course, his pan would latch onto the least important thing. "Why are you so fucking nonchalant about being a god damn corpse, Dave?"

"Because corpse me was a fucking sad sack?" For the first time in this exchange of words which could only laughably be called a conversation, Dave's tone changes to contain an ever so faint hint of disgust. "Obama came through for me one more time and showed me the light. The light being accepting the destiny of being the most me me to ever exist."

Karkat wonders if this Dave is physically capable of smiling. The part about Obama is bizarre considering that Obama died long before Earth C was created, but that isn't the most confusing thing Dave's said. "The most you you? What the fuck does that even mean, Dave?"

Somehow, the expressionless face appears smug. "Going Ultimate, my dude. Being all the me I can be. I am fucking Legion, Karkat. We're all in here. All the dead ones. All the ones who never existed. If you ever wondered to yourself, what makes Dave so Davey, I am it."

Going Ultimate? It sounds important, as though it'd be capitalized and everything; it also sounds like the biggest pile of hoof-beast shit that Karkat's ever heard. "Bullshit."

Robot Dave tilts his head. "That's all you've got to say? Man, Karkat, I've got to say, I'm disappointed. Here I am, anointed by fate, spitting truth, and you come across all uncouth in the face of the facts. There are no take backs. So what if I break hearts? You got the head start there. I've got the universe on a silver platter, so what does it matter what you think? I wasted so much time pinning and whining about what I couldn't have, and now I've got it all. So get on the fucking ball and roll, my troll, 'cause it's me for whom the bell fucking tolls." He makes a sweeping bow.

Karkat sifts through the prettied up bullshit to find the fart nugget of truth. "I broke your heart?"

"Fuck no," Robot Dave denies in the way Dave does when he doesn't want to admit that something hurts. "I was just being retarded." He steps closer to Karkat. "You're not that important."

It's been a long time since Karkat's heard that word from Dave—especially since Dave was the one who finally got Karkat to break that particular habit. The combination of reminding Karkat that he should be pretty sympathetic to people being looked down on just because of how they were born as well as reminding Karkat that, as much as he liked to hide it, he had a soft center that didn't actually like hurting people who didn't deserve it had been enough to get him to stop saying it.

The shock is enough to protect Karkat from the full effects of hearing he's ‘not that important’ coming from his boyfriend's mouth. "You sound like an asshole, and not the fun kind."

"Oh, that's rich coming from you," Robot Dave shoots back, scathing. He uncrosses his arms so he can gesture at Karkat. "You're the loudest fucking asshole there ever was. At least I can chill—you couldn't know chill if it locked you in a refrigerator."

Although Karkat is glad to hear more signs that Robot Dave is not a completely emotionless shell like Robot Aradia had been, it's hard to hear this anger and frustration directed at him. Also, the thing about the refrigerator is a low fucking blow. "Pretending you don't have feelings isn't the same as being chill, Dave," he grits out, trying extremely hard not to prove the robot right and completely lose his fucking shit. "You're not half as good an actor as you think you are. I don't know what the fuck happened here or why you're acting like this, but—"

Robot Dave's hands clench into fists at his sides. "You don't know why?"

Karkat doesn't back up even as his instincts scream at him to. Whatever has happened to make Dave like this, he knows that Dave would never physically hurt him. Honestly, he kind of wishes he would: it might be less painful than this. "How am I supposed to know? Last I knew, you were still human and safely on the—"

"You want to know what you did?" Before he can react, Robot Dave has grabbed his upper arms in a crushing grip, dragging him closer to Robot Dave's face. "YOU LEFT ME! YOU LEFT ME BEHIND! DID YOU EVER FUCKING CARE ABOUT ME?" By this point, Robot Dave is shaking Karkat with a surprising amount of violence. "OR DID YOU HONESTLY THINK I'D BE HAPPIER WITH JADE? BECAUSE I WASN'T! AT ALL! I FUCKING LOVED YOU AND YOU LEFT ME ALONE!"

"Wh-what are-are you talk-ing about?" Karkat knows his eyes are wide and frightened, but he doesn't care about facades right now. This is... This doesn't make any sense at all. And it'd probably be easier to think if his pan wasn't getting banged around the inside of his nugbone. "STOP SHAKING ME, DAMN IT!"

Robot Dave obliges so quickly Karkat almost stumbles as he's released. He steps back, narrowly avoiding Dave's corpse, dizzy. "Fuck me, Dave! What the fuck!" He rubs his arms, surprised they don’t hurt after the rough treatment he’s just received.

"I didn't mean any of that for serious," Robot Dave claims, his voice soft and even again. The tenseness of his shoulders as he recrosses his arms gives him away. "That was ironic anger. I'm not mad about any of that. Jade and me were perfectly happy. You'd know that if you'd come to the wedding."

"Wedding?" Karkat is completely lost now. He's been lost this whole time, but at least then he had some idea of what the major landmarks were. Now, he has no idea at all. His eyes are drawn down to the corpse, down to something shiny on his finger. He's seen enough human movies and attended enough weddings to understand what he's seeing. At least, he understands it's a wedding ring—he doesn't understand anything else.

Until he does. "You're not my Dave." He feels pretty stupid for not realizing this sooner. "This is an alternate timeline, isn't it?"

Robot Dave is silent for several long seconds. "Fuck yeah. Your timeline's all kinds of messed up. Don't know why I didn't notice before. Guess I was kind of distracted." This last is said with a sadness so subtle Karkat wouldn't have heard it if he hadn't been listening for it.

"I noticed," Karkat returns, his temper mollified by the knowledge that this asshole who's been lashing out at him for shit that isn't his fault isn't the same asshole he loves. Except, that isn't quite true, is it? According to Dave, all Daves are Daves. So, Karkat can't help but love this one a little, too.

And, he supposes, if all Daves are Daves, all Karkats are Karkats. Which means he has some responsibility for whatever happened to this robotic mess of a man as well. He walks past Robot Dave, away from the corpse, and sits. He pats the floor beside him. "Sit down. Please."

For a moment, it looks like Robot Dave is going to ignore him. Then a soft sigh as he plunks himself down. "I don't have time for this," he says.

"That's a fucking lie, and we both know it." Karkat does his best to prepare himself—he knows better than anyone just how stupid his other selves can be. "Tell me what happened with your Karkat."

"Nothing."

Karkat waits for more. "Nothing?"

Robot Dave—Dave crosses his arms and turns his head away. "Exactly. Nothing happened. He fucked off when the fucking was good, and I get it: Jane was getting real fucking fascist all of a sudden, and the kismesissitude with Jade wasn't on at all, but he didn't..." he trails off.

Some of this sounds familiar. Things had been... uncomfortable with Jade before she got possessed (uncomfortable in a similar, yet different, way afterwards), and he'd run against Jane for a reason. As much as all that ended up mattering in the end. Still, there had to be more to it than that, right? "He didn't what?"

"He didn't let me come with," Dave says quickly, nearly interrupting Karkat a third time. "We were supposed to be in this shit together, and he fucking bailed on me." He takes a deep breath he definitely doesn't need. "Then it was just me and Jade, and I... I owed it to her, Karkat." A tiny sound that could be a laugh. "At least someone needed me."

Karkat wants to tell Dave he's being ridiculous, that of course he hadn't owed Jade anything except his friendship—never mind a fucking wedding—but he knows better. He honestly does. Jade is his friend, too, and there was a reason he never gave her a solid, unambiguous no to her advances... it's always been easier for Karkat to stand up for others than it ever has for him to stand up for himself. He'd never wanted to get physical with Jade (minus a brief infatuation when she'd let him have it over Trollian during the game), but he'd liked her enough to hate the idea of just turning her away cold.

And he knows that Dave is very much the same. Except he's got baggage, baggage Karkat has tried very hard to understand but still doesn't quite grasp, that would make the prospect even harder. Especially if... especially if Karkat left him to his own stupidly self-destructive devices.

As evidenced by the fact that this version of his best fucking friend in the universe is currently a god damn robot.

"Your me is a moron," he declares.

Dave is already shaking his head, the light catching on his burnished metal skin. "No way, man. Karkat's a fucking mastermind—the whole rebellion would have been totally quashed ages ago if not for him. Fuck, he started it!" As he speaks about his own Karkat, a literal light glows in his eyes, shining through the lenses of his glasses.

"He's practically a legend now," he continues, apparently heedless of the fondness in his voice. "He always talked a big game about how good a leader he'd be if he'd been given half a chance, and now he's out living the dream." When he speaks again, his tone is softer, bitter, and the light dims. "It's one of the things I low key, high key hate him for, you know? Somehow, he has it all together without me, but I'm a sad sack without him. A sad sack tying his star to the yifftrain because I don't know how to say 'on second thought no thank you' to one of my oldest friends." He straightens up slightly. "I mean, that's how it used to be. I could give less than a shit now that I've gone Ultimate."

The back tracking is so awkward and forced, Karkat wonders if Dave actually expects him to believe it. "Right." While Karkat's curious about this rebellion Dave's talking about, he finds it difficult to believe that this Dave's version of him is doing as well as Dave says. Of course, as much as Karkat loves Dave, one thing which cannot be said for him is that he's terribly observant when it comes to the feelings of the people around him.

Also, nothing Dave's said so far has convinced him that he was wrong about his original assessment of this version of himself. Any version of himself idiotic enough to still believe in his leadership prowess after the absolute clusterfuck that was the Game is a complete moron regardless of other factors. "And you never talked to him about this?"

"What was there to talk about?" Dave says stiffly. "He had his life, and I had mine. I mean, I didn't see him much after he left. Even after Jade and I joined the rebellion, we didn't see each other much. Certainly no one on one time in a room together." There's no mistaking the faint echo of regret in the words. "No point in even thinking about it. Which I was doing a great job of doing before I saw you here, making cry baby eyes at my corpse. Just so you know."

"And yet you're still here," Karkat presses.

"I guess I am," Dave agrees. "Fuck, I missed just getting to chill with you. I feel like, maybe, everything wouldn't have gone to absolute dog shit if you'd been around. I mean, you're not m—the Karkat from around here, but all Karkats are basically Karkat, so..." his words grind to a halt, leaving an embarrassed pause.

Despite himself, despite knowing this Dave is talking about a different Karkat, Karkat feels his face heat up. His own Dave has a tendency to put him up on an elevated statue support base; it shouldn't be surprising this Dave does, too. "I think you are wildly over-estimating both of our abilities."

"You think so?" Dave sounds unconvinced. It's amazing how much more, for lack of a better word, lively he's gotten just during the span of this conversation. A far cry from the douche bag Karkat started out talking to.

"I know so," Karkat returns more sharply than he means. "If your Karkat were here, he'd agree with me. We're nobody special without someone who believes in us, Dave." He crosses his arms, suddenly uncomfortable with the expressionless scrutiny. "Fuck, maybe he is a great leader now, I don't fucking know. But if he is, it's only because he has people who believe in him." He looks away. "Dave is the person who believes in me."

"Is that what I did wrong?" Dave asks after a moment. "I didn't believe in him enough?" He sounds incredulous. "I didn't realize this was Peter Fucking Pan, troll edition."

"Pupa Pan."

"What?"

"Peter Pan, troll edition," Karkat explains as he tries to organize his thoughts, "is called Pupa Pan."

"Of course it is." When Karkat turns to look, Dave is shaking his head. "You trolls have got troll versions of nearly fucking everything, don't you?" Not waiting for an answer, he continues, plaintively, "I used to ask myself all the time what I could have done differently, what I should have done. What should I have done that would have made him decide to stay with me. And I came up empty every fucking time."

Karkat wishes this was his Dave, a Dave he could comfort with a touch. Instead, he has to find the right words. He's been told he's fucking good with those. Mostly by Dave. "I don't have an answer for you, either. I don't know why he left like he did. Things must have felt pretty fucking bad for him to think that's what he had to do."

Dave made a hand gesture Karkat chose to interpret as "go on"

"I don't know what you could have done differently—I wasn't there. What I do know is this: however successful he is, he's miserable without you."

Dave tilts his head. "Really?" he asks, his tone full of disbelief and something like hope.

"Yes, really." Karkat sits up. "Just talk to him, Dave. He'll tell you." He reconsiders. "You'll have to drag it out of him by this point if he's gone this long without saying anything himself, but the point is he misses you. I know he does."

Silence stretches between them.

"It's too late." There's a cold finality to the words that sends an unpleasant shiver down Karkat's support column.

"Is he dead, too?" It hadn't occurred to him to consider this possibility, but considering he's currently sitting not too far away from Dave's corpse—

"Nah, he's alive. At least, last I knew, he was."

It's all Karkat can do not to face palm. "Then it's not too fucking late then, is it?"

"Yeah, it really is. I've already cut my ties to this place, to this whole planet, to this whole fucking universe. Divorced Jade common law style and let Karkat go like Elsa. Stick a fork in it and throw it away because it's so done, it's god damn charcoal." He stands in one smooth, mechanically precise motion. "Thanks for the sit and chit, but I'm gonna go see if Aradia's found her stupid boyfriend yet."

Shit. "Wait!" Karkat grabs for and catches Dave's hand. It's cool and there's no give beneath his fingers. "Don't leave like this."

"Like what?" Dave's voice is back to its original blandness, and Karkat feels his heart break a little. "Sometimes, Karkat, you just have to fly away into the sun like a feathery asshole."

"He loves you, fuckface!"

This stops Dave short. "What?"

"He loves you," Karkat repeats. "If he's anything like me, and he is because he literally is me, he's never stopped loving you." He tugs on Dave's hand, doing his best to ignore how wrong it feels in his grip. "Obviously, bad shit went down, and believe me, if I ever see your fucking Karkat, I'm going to punch him right in his stupid face for leaving you in a fucking lurch and letting do this to yourself, but he loves you."

"You see, that's where you're wrong," Dave says, his hand suddenly gripping Karkat's own (and Karkat has a vague idea this should hurt, but he's too focused on what Dave's saying to pay it any mind). "You're smart, Karkat, so I won't waste your time and mine bitching about how, if he really loved me, he wouldn't have fucking bailed on me like he did." His shoulders slump, and the hold on Karkat's hand loosens. "He doesn't need me anymore, if he ever fucking needed me. He's got Meenah to take care of all the 'believing in him' shiz."

"Meenah? You mean Feferi's dancester?" Karkat shakes his head. "Never mind, I don't want to know what convoluted bullshit happened to make that possible." It's time to focus on the matter at hand! "You were with Jade, right?"

Dave lets go of Karkat's hand so he can cross his arms. "Yeah. What about it?"

Why are Daves so stupid? To be fair, Karkats are pretty stupid, too, but at least Karkat's aware of it, which is more than he can say for any iteration of Dave. "Think, idiot. Were you in love with Jade?"

"No." There's no hesitation. "I loved her but I wasn't in love with her."

"Did you ever think that maybe, just maybe, your Karkat was in a similar situation? Or maybe he thought you actually did love Jade and didn't want to make you choose? Did that ever occur to you?"

Dave's silence speaks volumes.

"That's what I thought." Karkat blows out a harsh breath. "Does he know you're a robot now?"

"Nah." Dave's head is tilted ground-ward. "I didn't stick around after going Ultimate. Kind of just... left without leaving a calling card or anything. Maybe a dick move now that I'm thinking about it."

"Maybe?" It's Karkat's turn to be incredulous. "Fuck, Dave, how could you do that? Even if you don't give a shit about your Karkat or your Jade, I refuse to believe you'd do that to your Rose."

A rough shrug. "I did though. Rose is better off without me." Another tiny laugh. "Maybe this is what Dirk felt before he did what he did."

Dirk? "And what did he do in this timeline?"

"He killed himself," Dave says flatly.

Karkat feels a surge of pity. He wonders if Dave would be happy to know that Dirk's lived long enough to become a wife-napper in his timeline. Probably not, but it's hard to know: he sometimes thinks his Dave would be happier if Dirk had died instead—at least then he could properly mourn. He doesn't say any of this, naturally. He's not a complete idiot. "I'm sorry," he lies.

"Hung himself in my hour of fucking need," Dave continues as though Karkat hadn't spoken. He runs a hand over his metal hair. "Story of my life in this universe: everyone leaves me when I need them. I'm not a good enough reason for anyone to stick around."

It's not difficult to read between the lines and figure out who else comprises 'everyone' and 'anyone'. Again, Karkat wonders what the fuck this version of him had been thinking. "And you figure it's your turn to not stick around when they need you? Is that it? Revenge?"

"No," Dave says, clearly caught off guard by the questions. "Fuck no. Besides, wouldn't work anyway because no one needs me: not Rose, not Karkat, and not John. Maybe Jade thinks she needs me, but she doesn't need me either."

There's a lot to unpack here, and Karkat doesn't know how much longer Dave is going to listen to him. He doesn't know why he's so bothered by the idea of this idiot leaving without first touching base with the other idiots, but he is. His being here feels... serendipitous.

A stray thought of why is he here floats through his consciousness before being discarded: he's focused on what's happening in front of him. "What if you're wrong, Dave? What if they do need you, like you needed Dirk? Are you really going to abandon them like yesterday's grubloaf?"

"Did it to me first," Dave mutters, petulant. Then he sighs and leans against the wall. "Okay, so I know things aren't going great with everyone... except Rose and Kanaya, I guess. They've always had their shit together. Way better than I ever have. I also absolutely know that Karkat doesn't need me. I might have been in the rebellion, too—better late than fucking never, I guess—but it's not like Karkat actually lets me do anything important. Probably afraid I'd fuck it up, and I can't blame him for that. I fuck up everything I touch—I used to, I mean. I'm Ultimate Dave now, and I'm awesome." The bravado is too little too late, and Dave seems to realize it, too. He kicks awkwardly at the stone floor.

Before Karkat can comment, Dave keeps going, his voice becoming tight with frustration. "But to get back to sad sack me, what was I supposed to do about John and Roxy's failed marriage? What was I supposed to do about the clusterfuck which is Jane's fucking family situation? It's not my fault she shacked up with Jake and Gamzee and inflicts that clown on her kid." His voice carries a note of hysteria now. "Should I have helped John kidnap Tavros that one time? And then there's Jade... You don't think I've given her enough of me by this point, or was I supposed to just stay by her side forever out of a sense of obligation? I mean, fuck, Karkat. That's way too much to lay on me!"

"Don't be an idiot," Karkat says even as his mind reels. So many things are different. They would be, of course, this is an alternate timeline, but it's almost overwhelming to hear them listed out like this all at once. While he wants to ask about Tavros and Gamzee, he doesn't want to break the momentum of the conversation with little, probably unimportant, details. "I'm not here to tell you what you should have done. I don't know what you should have done: believe it or not, Dave, I'm not a fucking seer!" He takes a deep breath to calm himself down. It's hard not to shout, but he's learned over the years that, sometimes, people listen to you more when you're not shouting. "It's not about what you should have done; it's about what you should do."

"And what do you think I should do?" Dave asks, as though Karkat hasn't already made it blisteringly obvious what he thinks Dave ought to do.

Then again, Daves are pretty dumb, and this one is extremely so. "Talk to them, Dave. Tell them how you feel."

"Sounds gay."

For an instant, Karkat is back on the meteor. "You're gay, you asshole."

"Oh, yeah." Dave shifts from one foot to the other. "They're not going to be super stoked to see me like this."

"You think?" Karkat pinches the bridge of his nose. "Of course they're not going to be fucking 'stoked' to see you've done this to yourself, but they love you, Dave. They might be angry with you for leaving like you did, but they'll forgive you. And maybe... maybe you'll be able to forgive them, too. But nothing is going to change unless you actually talk to them."

Dave hmms to himself before shaking his head. "You don't get it, Karkat. Literally? None of that shit even matters. I'm not sad sack me anymore; I'm not tied to this universe. I'm Ult. Dave, and I don't need anyone." He steps away from the wall so he can gesture with over the top grandness, clearly making certain his cape moves with him. "I'm finally free. For the first time in my life, I'm actually who and what I always wanted to be: a chill motherfucker with nothing more important to worry about than whether or not I'm cool. And I don't even have to worry about that, because I'm cool as shit."

He lowers his arms. When he speaks again, his voice is quieter, almost pleading. "For the first time in my life, I actually fucking like myself." 'So don't take that away from me' goes unsaid, but Karkat hears it anyway.

This is just... this is just so sad. This Dave might be saying he likes himself, but nothing is more obvious to Karkat than that he doesn't. Karkat still doesn't really understand what being 'Ultimate' means (and now doesn't feel like the right time to ask), but he understands Dave. Since all Daves are Daves, that means he understands this one, too. And what he understands is this Dave is absolutely fucking miserable and trying to hide it underneath a cool layer of ironic assholery.

Newsflash, Ultimate Dave, Karkat has gotten really good at seeing through that shit!

"Cut the crap, Dave," Karkat says sharply. "I didn't pupate yesterday. Do you honestly expect me to believe that being that," he gestures to Dave's shiny robot body, "and pretending you don't give a shit about anyone or anything actually makes you happy?" Not waiting for the lie Dave's no doubt going to supply him with, he adds, "Didn't you learn anything on the meteor, Dave? You are not and have never been cool."

Karkat starts approaching Dave, who backs away from him. It hurts to see him like this, but it confirms what Karkat already knew. "You were a scared kid like the rest of us, and now you're a scared adult, running away from your problems because you don't know how to fix them. And guess what, Dave: your idiot friends are scared adults, too."

Dave is against the wall again, shaking his head. "No. No, you don't get it at all."

It's a risk, but despite what happened with Dave crushing his hand earlier (which really should have hurt, shouldn't it?), Karkat still refuses to feel intimidated by any Dave. He knows him too well. He reaches out his hand and places it onto a cool, metal shoulder. It's practically vibrating. "I believe in you, Dave. I believe in you, and I know you can do this."

For the longest time, Dave says nothing. The cool shoulder under Karkat's hand gradually stills and warms. Then Dave explodes. Not literally, like the Aradia bot, but in a more figurative way. It feels like an important distinction. He pushes away from the wall, pushing Karkat away, too, leaving Karkat to stumble backwards.

"Oh, fuck off!" There's no expression on Dave's rigid face, which makes the vitriol coming out of his mouth that much more disturbing. "Maybe you're the fucking fairy from Peter Pupa or whatever, but I'm not." He steps closer to Karkat. "I am cool, and I don't need anyone else, and more fucking importantly, no one needs me!"

Karkat licks his lips. A part of him wants to throw Dave's anger back in his face. A part of him wants to shoosh the man child until he calms. Either one seems like a bad idea. "Sounds lonely," he says instead, keeping his voice soft.

Dave jerks back like he's been struck. "It's not," he denies just a hair too quickly. He goes into the familiar nonchalant slouch that Dave goes into when he's feeling cornered. "I told you, Karkat, I'm a whole bunch of Daves—I've got all the friends I could ever want." As if sensing this isn't terribly convincing, he says, "Besides, I'm chillin' with Aradia and not quite dead possessed Jade these days. They're a barrel of fucking laughs."

Of course both timelines have a possessed Jade! Is she possessed by some alternate version of Callie, too? And now Karkat's a little confused, because didn't Dave say he left Jade behind? Is this another Jade from yet another timeline? And why the fuck are Jades so god damn unlucky—she seems to have a fucking talent for being possessed! He shakes his head; he's never been good at timeline bullshit, and he's getting off track.

As for Aradia... It's been a long time since he's thought of her. She'd never been one of his closest friends, for certain, and he remembers that she got disturbing chipper about death after she blew up and came back God Tier. Honestly, he can't imagine traveling around with her like Sollux chose to, or like Dave apparently does.

"So, you don't miss anyone here?" He already knows the answer to this question and wonders if Dave will lie. He decides not to give him the opportunity. "You already admitted you miss your Karkat, so I'm sure there must be other people you miss."

Dave crosses his arms. "I miss aj, too, but I'm not gonna act all broken up about it when I've got this hot new bod, these baller new threads, and, oh yeah, fucking Ultimate Dave powers. I guess the real question is what are you trying to prove with all this mushy shit. What the fuck difference does it make to you whether I miss anyone or not—you don't even belong here."

It has been ages since Karkat's had to deal with a Dave this infuriatingly dense. "You're right: I don't belong here. You know who does belong here, you deliberately obtuse prick? You! You fucking belong here. And I'm gratified to know you at least miss some of the people here as much as you miss fucking apple juice."

"What the fuck ever," Dave says tightly. "I didn't ask for a lecture. I didn't ask for your opinion. In fact, I asked for exactly none of this bullshit, and I'm done. I'm outie." He doesn't move. "I still don't understand why you care so much."

Karkat slowly counts to ten. Then he does it again for good measure. "Dave, I care because, for some ineffable reason, I love you and I want you to be happy."

"What?" Dave sounds startled. "You don't even fucking know me, dude."

"Didn't you tell me you're the most Dave Dave? And aren't all Dave's Dave?" Karkat rolls his eyes. "I love my Dave, and that means I love you, too, moron."

"Oh." Dave looks away. "I guess that makes sense." Then he straightens up and turns his head sharply back in Karkat's direction. "So, what you said before, about, about other Karkat...?"

"What? That he loves you?" Karkat doesn't roll his eyes again, but it's a close thing. "Yes, he loves you. I don't understand why he thought it was a good idea to leave your ass, but any Karkat who's had the misfortune of meeting you gets caught in your fucking thrall. You're so fucking pitiful. And infuriating. And attractive."

"Careful, Karkat, you might give a guy the wrong idea." It sounds so much like Dave's normal banter that it hurts. "I don't know," he says, his voice pensive. "You make it sound like it's gonna be so easy to just step back into everyone's life like nothing happened."

"Of course it isn't going to be easy," Karkat snaps. "But you need to do it: if not for the sake of the people here, for your own." He risks putting a hand on Dave's arm. "Let them love you, Dave."

Dave shakes his head. "Don't bother with the mojo again, man. That shit doesn't work on me: I'm immune thanks to being a bad-ass Ultimate robo Dave and all." Before Karkat can question what the fuck he means by that, Dave puts a cold hand over his own. "But you know what? Fuck it. Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yeah," Dave sighs. It only sounds a little dramatic. "I'll fucking talk to them. Let them love me or whatever. I guess if it goes bad, I can just fuck off again like I was planning to. I'll have to let Aradia know though; it's only fair."

Karkat feels relief wash over him. He'd been starting to think he'd never get through to this idiot. He pulls his hand away and backs up. "Good." He feels light. "I'm glad you've decided to stop being stubborn asshole about this."

"Being a stubborn asshole is one of the things I do best," Dave said, a smile in his voice if not on his face. "What about you though?" His question is startling for its unexpectedness. "How are you going to..."

The scene seems further away.

"Ah," Dave says. "I get it. Say hi to Dave for me."

Karkat has no time to voice his confusion before everything is gone.

Karkat wakes with a start. The dream is already fading even as his conscious mind tries to gather the remnants together. He remembers... he remembers Dave. But he was a... he was a robot? And dead? He remembers Dave being absolutely infuriating. He remembers he was trying to... trying to get Dave to do something?

He shakes his head and looks at the Dave still sleeping beside him. An urge to wrap Dave up in his arms overcomes him, and he does so as best he can. He's momentarily surprised by the warmth and softness he feels as he presses Dave against his chest. But that's silly: Dave feels like he always does. He's safe and loved and warm and alive.

Dave blinks blearily up at him. "Bad dream?"

Karkat nods, even though he's not entirely certain if the dream he had was bad or not. "I love you."

"Thanks," Dave says, sounding baffled but fond. "Love you, too." He yawns, already snuggling into Karkat's embrace, already going back to sleep.

For a long time, Karkat watches Dave breathe. Then he falls back into a doze, content.

Ultimate Dave looks at the spot where that strange Karkat was for a long while before shrugging to himself. Weirder things have happened in his various lives than alternate timeline ghosts or whatever the fuck just happened here. He picks up his corpse (it doesn't look like he's decayed at all—must be cold as shit in this place) and starts the journey topside. It's time to go home and, maybe, make amends.

#Homestuck #fan fic #davekat #mine

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latulasbian-1 · 3 years

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A Kankriversation Had On Discord

Long post beneath the cut bc its just. straight up like a half hour’s worth of back-and-fourth

Friend: OH GOD OH GOD REV GOT TO MEENAHQUEST Friend: OH GOD HES MET KANKRI I GOTTA Friend: I GOTTA SEE Friend: "why the fuck is he written like this?" Friend: "i feel like this entire section is a jab at tumblr" Friend: rev does not seem to enjoy this Friend: "what i was expecting was just a raging asshole, like karkat 2 yaknow?" Friend: REV DOES NOT HATE KANKRI *confetti ball emojis*

Friend: people are taking away from kankri's character "kankri acts like a good person but is an asshole, and karkat acts like an asshole but is a good person" and they are wrong. Friend: I Friend: REV JUST COMPARED HIM TO ZEBRUH Friend: I AM Friend: -dies- Friend: HOW Friend: I UNDERSTAND COMPLETELY BUT ALSO HOLY SHIT Friend: ok i cant watch longer i am dying Friend: it doesnt help that hes reading this section with a homestuch fan who seemingly hates kankri

Friend: i just need to give up and accept the fact that everyone hates kankri Friend: and i am the only smart person in the whole world :cry emoji (zan’s note: to indicated both light emotional melancholy but primarily as a tone indicator of semi-sarcasm): Friend: erugvwilarghvaleb Friend: no wonder i like zebruh (ZAN’S NOTE: MY BUDDY HERE LIKES ZEBRUH AS A FUNNY ASSHOLE DOUCHEBAG WHO SUCKS NOT LIKE. IN A WAY THAT CONDONES HIS BULLSHIT JUST FELT LIKE I SHOULD MENTION THAT. UNLIKE FOR INSTANCE LANQUE, WHO DOESN’T NECESSARILY FEEL LIKE HES MEANT TO BE THE WORST LIVING BEING IN EXISTANCE AND IS ALSO TRANSMASC WHILE BEING A FUCKING SEX FREAK. ZEBRUH’S MEANT TO BE HATED SO ITS AT LEAST FUCKING FUNNY.)

Friend 2 (hasn't actually read homestuck): I like Kankri

Friend: me :handshake: you & the 3 other people who read this channel smart as fuck and our meat is huge wrfralrv,juaBVRE DGS

Me (Zan): hhhhhhhhhhh Me: WHY DO PEOPLE CONSTANTLY INTERPRET KANKRI LIKE THIS Me: ITS. FUCKING. NONSENSE

Friend: I think people assume hes supposed to be like?? lying??? or using big words to try and make people like him more/?? Friend: but thats. never actually in the text? Friend: like yeah he constantly says "in this essay-i mean conversation" or "during this lecture-i mean discussion" but???? Friend: that does not a liar make??????????????

Me: its literally just. gahhhh Me: noone fucking r Me: theres no REASON to think hes lying

Me: except. that sjws are all just bigots who lie to make themselves look better (Zan’s note: this is sarcasm meant as a dig at people falling for the stonetoss-tier anti-social justice strawmanning that kankri gets. I do not think sjws are all just bigots who lie to make themselves look better.)

Friend: people just really dont wanna be confronted with the fact that if u think racism bad andrew hussie thinks youre a pussy ass bitch everyone hates

Me: YEAH Me: WHICH??? Me: THESE PEOPLE, LIKE EVERYONE, KNOWS THAT HUSSIE SUCKS AND HATES HIM

Friend: so they pretend kankri is actually some really genuinely good criticism guys i swear he-hes not just a mean caricture of a tumblr user who writes essays on why racism is bad i swear he-hes like, a criticism of men who co-opt actual arguments to get people to wanna fuck him ignore the part where kankri is celibate guys i swear hes a horny racist douche please believe me guys andrew hussie wouldnt hate me in real life hed love me i swear

Me: BUT THEY JUST FUCKING. REFUSE TO REALIZE THAT TINY PIECE OF LOGIC THAT “OH ALMOST EVERYRHING THAT KANKRI SAYS IS RIGHT AND HUSSIE IS A DOUCHECANOE”

Me: YEAH ITS SO FUCKING WIERD

Friend: i feel like another part of it is kankri criticcizing mituna

Me: WHICH

Friend: like "oh haha kankri is abelist u see thats PROOF thats PROOF hes a racist abelist douch just lying for attention you SEE" a

Me: IN UNIVERSE Me: IS BAD

Friend: and mituna is like

Me: BUT Me: ITS MADE FUVKING MOOT

Friend: mituna.

Me: BC MITUNA LITERALLY IS AN ABLEIST STEREOTYPE Me: HUSSIE LITERALLY WROTE AN ABLEIST STEREOTYPE AND EVERYONE TRIES TO SAY THE ONE CHARACTER WHO RECOGNIZES THAT TO BE THE REAL ABLEIST I

Friend: mituna "autistic/brain damaged/tourettes stereotype who's main joke is he falls down a lot and is mentally ill ahaha"

Me: *just an ocean of angry emojis*

Friend: is it because hes nice to cronus??? like?????? Friend: in that case everyone should HATE meenah Friend: for.... ALSO BEING NICE TO CRONUS??????????/ Friend: LIKE????????????

Me: oho but you see Me: meenah is un-pc murderous genocidal and a childfucker, so she only gets a little bit of the hate kankri “said ableism is ableist and never stops trying to get his friends to be better people despite everything” vantas gets

Friend: GRAAAAAA Friend: WHY ARE HOMESTUCK FANS SO FUCKING STUPID

Me: in this instance i have 0 fucking clue Me: like. its fucking OBVIOUS

Friend 3 (hasn’t read homestuck): It's the ableism

Me: except.... most of these people dont even like mituna........ Me: like as “rep”.... Me: these are people who’d call out ableism literally everywhere else.... its. gahh Me: i stg i’m going to become a video essayist just to try to EXPLAIN this shit

Friend: IM SORRY TO SAY THIS HOMESTUCK FANDOM, BUT MOST OF THE PEOPLE ON TUMBLR WHO WERE WRITTING ESSAYS ON WHY ABELISM AND RACISM IN MEDIA WAS BAD Friend: WERE RIGHT Friend: AND IF YOU DIDNT LIKE THEM FOR THEIR BIG WORDS Friend: YOU SUCKED Friend: zebruh is like a fucked up and evil version of kankri where instead of caring about politics and people's mental health he just acts like he cares about lower caste trolls to try and get laid, and in actually his is a racist mean and clingy rich bastard who cant stand being held accountable for his fake beliefs Friend: OH WAIT Friend: THATS JUST FUCKING CRONUS Friend: this is all your fault u bastard. i dont know how the fuck you got away with this shit i hate you so much

Me: fdg;hljk Me: ben i'm wondering if i can transcribe our duotribe to tumblr

#homestuck #kankri #ableism #its just???? fucking???? wh???#people who literally have the same complaints about mituna criticize kankri for having those same exact things #its. like yeah in-universe it sucks shit to say stuff like 'yer being so stereotypical' to a neurodivergent person but like its also incoher #incoherent enough that like. if you take it at face value its just utter nonsense

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bladekindeyewear · 5 years

Text

Boots reads Homestuck Epilogue(s) Part 8 - Meat Page 41

==>

Okay, Dirk’s gonna monologue about, like... acknowledging his villainy without realizing it I guess?

And if I didn’t bother pursuing those goals, and thereby tacitly accepting the untold suffering that resulted from my inaction, wouldn’t that make me a bad person? If I try and succeed, I’m a hero, right? And if I try and fail, at least I made things interesting on my way to the grave. There would be a tragic nobility in that. And the way I see it, settling for anything less from my arc would be, frankly, pathetic.

So yeah, of course I know I “have to be stopped.” It’s part of the contract. What you sign up for when you assume the burdens of this sort of power. Where there is that which must be subdued and suborned for the greater good, there is that which will instinctively resist. That which intuits that whatever’s going on here is “wrong.” Otherwise, intervention wouldn’t even be necessary, would it?

Yeah, the Heroic and Just death parameters I outlined in the Ultimate Riddle post pretty clearly line up here that he’s fucking shit over in a way he refuses to truly believe is going to end up in his Just demise even if he knows it on some level. Fucking over everyone’s wills like that? Fuck you.

Only worthless people permit themselves the great luxury of a valorous sacrifice.

JUST. FUCKING. DEATH.

Mhmm, he knows he’s going to get fucking owned. Just a little sooner than he thought, I’d reckon.

...geez, I’m going to forget to fucking EAT again today if this epilogue goes on much longer. Maybe I’ll have to blog the Candy part, like, tomorrow or something. If I can convince myself to SLEEP instead of reading more, that is.

==>

Thank God all the manipulation is reversing itself. Keep playing into it and letting it happen you pompous ass, Dirk, it was inevitable.

Couldn’t pay me to be in that room right now. Not for all the agency in the world.

Yeah, agency is the word. Dirk is aiming for infinite agency at the expense of everyone else’s. His God-Tier powers crush others’ individuality and let him puppeteer them instead, and it’s what he’s been using all along to manipulate the situation in this story.

they will know what to do, when they are ready.

On the one hand, thanks alt!Callie. On the other, seriously fuck you alt!Callie for taking Jade out of the story AAAAGAAAAAIN. D:<

neither she nor her friends will have to worry about him anymore, so long as they remain on this planet and under my protection.

Um, that was phrased ominously potentially.

huddled on the floor, she repeats this pledge to herself. theoretically, he could be stopped before he leaves, if they hurried. they would need to know what to do, where to go, and to have the motivation to do it, but time is short. i could push them to, with a certain degree of intervention, but i will not. my unwillingness to do so is what separates me from him. and what corporeal life needs now is someone presiding over them who is nothing like him at all.

FUCK YES, PRESERVE THE WILL OF THE CHARACTERS INSTEAD OF TURNING IT ALL INTO YOUR OWN FANFIC YOU BEAUTIFUL CHERUB

Also, thought that occurred to me at the end of this page... did Dirk potentially arrange John’s death here to keep his retcon powers from being able to stop him?

==>

Epilogue Eight

Okay I’m churning through this all pretty quickly now that there isn’t a bunch of hyperdense prose in the way. Excellent conversation between characters, furthering the plot along while engaging in very understandable hilarity.

KARKAT: TELL HER TO REGISTER MY HEAVING BULGE AS A PRIORITY!!!!!

Wonk

I don’t THINK I’m reading this any faster than usual, but it FEELS like I am? Maybe because of the format, or maybe I really AM reading it faster to get to Dirk’s fucking comeuppance as fast as goddamn possible.

Pfff, cosplaying as Dave.

KARKAT: WOW! THE WOKEMASTER IS ON FUCKING FIRE FOLKS! HE’LL BE HERE ALL NIGHT!!!

I love this whole conversation

ROXY: awwwwwww ROXY: u boys cute :)

Alright, Jane doesn’t kno-- wait, you’re not looping her in on this? I thought she’d join in and get, like, a redemptive character arc. Oh well, lesstimespentonthatthebetterhurryupandkickDirk’sass

Wait, so Roxy didn’t know John wasn’t coming back? Calliope did though???

Is the only reason Dirk took Terezi along to keep her from giving them info, or... no, he said MORE of them would eventually come, what the fuck is he even planning?

they will believe they are on a quest to retrieve a wife and rescue a friend. but they will discover their true mission is of much greater cosmic significance than they imagined. the seer is firmly in the thrall of the prince and will not easily be pried away. and as regards the heir, though resuscitation remains a theoretical possibility for those still striving for it, the truth of his role is it has reached a greater sense of narrative finality than any of his allies will bring themselves to admit. his influence over canon has come to an end, as has this particular story. his ultimate sacrifice was made to put the missing keystone in place and avert the supreme dissipation of all that shall be considered to hold truth, relevance, and essentiality.

...Huh.

Okay, so they MIGHT have to accidentally create Paradox Space, and regardless by stopping Dirk they’ll be guaranteeing agency as a right to those who live both within and without the confines of... whatever existence even is anymore.

......This ship chase through Paradox Space of cosmic significance sounds disturbingly familiar to old pictures I used to verbally paint about the endgame, and I refuse to think about that idea further.

And we’re returning to black text, from the sound of what alt!Callie is saying. Let’s do that.

==>

POSTSCRIPT?!?????

POSTSCRIPT? P O S T S C R I P T?!??!?!??!?!??

IS THIS FUCKING OVER OR SOMETHING? IS THIS NOT GETTING RESOLVED WHAT THE FLYING FUCK AAA OKAY CALM DOWN CALM DOWN BOOTS AND READ

fuck my stomach’s clenching up again oh god

artillery what the fuck

aradia okay

WWWWHAT THE FUCK SIXTEEN YEAR OLD JADE WHAT

JADE FROM THE BLACK HOLE GOT SPIT OUT HERE OR

OKAY WHAT THE FUCK IS EVEN GOING ON HERE BLACK EYES AND SHE’S A MURDER MACHINE OKAY WHAT

WHAT IS ALL THIS BULLSHIT WHY IS AN ANGSTY DARKJADE WHO MAY OR MAY NOT BE ALTCALLIE CONTROLLED DOING FLASHY BULLSHIT

“no being has ever commanded before” WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEA-- OH SHIT IS IT LIKE BLACK HOLE ABILITIES

LIKE, FUCKING, BLACK HOLE INSTEAD OF THE GREEN SUN ABILITIES NOW TIED TO HER AND SHES BEEN CONTROLLED BY ALT!CALLIE LONG ENOUGH TO GET HERE OR WHAT THE FUUUUUUCK WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO JADE YOU FUCKING STORY GET OUT OF HERE

davebot. why a davebot? davebot.

I’m feeling fucking sick. Okay what’s about to happen.

Okay so this Dave is like from some other timeline split and got botsaved or something sure whatever

okay some of the others are going off into this... “OTHER UNIVERSE???” too???? or other paradox space or some fucking bullshit???

also scrolling up i missed “Jade was sixteen years old when she showed up, and she doesn’t look a day older now, though many hundreds of days have passed” o kay are these ghosts???

Oh FUCK I CAN BREATHE

i can breathe again

fuck, these are like

im guessing these are... other ghosts or former-ghosts or basically everyone that huddled into the black hole, and aradias there because of course or something, this isnt dirk having won and reached his place or whatever

this is the jade alt who fell into the black hole and must have died hence her perpetually-young look, and now that shes in the black hole she has access to black hole powers

REAL JADE is FUCKING FINE

breathe boots breathe god damnit

okay reading, uh

a-all the action that matters f fuck i dsee the end of the page what thej fuck s how oculd it enduhyere kanaya has an enddless chase for her ff-fucking wife or while she’s being mind-raped by dirk orasdf jklfdk adn dshes gonan be in a stupdi metal body or

im really

really gonna need that candy after this

reading that last few paragraphs SHIT

yeah aradias going to go where all the exciting shit is happening in this new... black... hole... adox space or whatever, or wherever this is or

Where the hole gaped just moments ago, there now exists an imaginary line.

Above this line resides all that matters. Below exists all else. Never again the twain shall meet.

And... that’s the final line between Canon and Non-Canon. Or whatever terms.

Andrew’s done. The story’s done. Everything else about their journey is for the imagination alone. Did they save Rose from Dirk taking her through a portal or whatever to whichever Dirkverse he was conjuring up or whatever theory bullshit i REALLY DONT WANT TO THINK OF OR THEORIZE ABOUT EVEN EVER about what the fuck dirk was trying to pull with all this SHHHHITT!!!!!!!??//?

I... christ. I need that Candy section. And I need a drink. Fuck this I was gonna break for dinner but I’m continuing once I get a beer. I’m sweating and unhappy. Like I should be after eating this many pages of raw meat, shouldn’t I?

Next post will be Candy 1 once I confirm that there’s nothing else I’m missing, no other part of this portion to save me from wanting to vomit in an entirely anxious and non-beer-related way.

Fuck.

#Homestuck #Homestuck Epilogue #Upd8 #Homestuck Liveblog #bladekindeyewear #BlastYoBoots

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caledfwlchthat · 5 years

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epilogue reactions forthcoming

I’ve finally finished both halves now. For the record, I read Candy first.

Also for the record, like many others, this epilogue stomped on all my feelings and ran them over with a steamroller before chucking their tattered remains into a burning pit filled with starving robotic badgers. I have a separate word doc that is just the phrase “FUCK YOU DIRK” cut and pasted 1,377,459 times in coruscating rainbow shades. @bladekindeyewear, whom I’ve followed for yonks, has some fantastic live blogs of both routes where he also varies the number of U’s in each separate utterance of FUCK YOU DIRK just to keep things interesting. (See also his notes in the last post about his interpretation of the Meat postscript re: insulating fandom works from future canon threats.)

(Seriously, my condolences to anyone who loves Dirk ca. end of ACT 6 because now there are so many theories about What Went Wrong as regards Ultimate Selves and maybe we just want the Striders to get over their issues together.)

And the thing is I doubt I would have been nearly so invested in the outcome if both routes had not been impeccably executed. I was drawn into the world immediately, not just textually but metatextually in classic Homestuck sense -- my attention was often sent going up and down the levels of meaning but never jarred out of the fictional dream. Dirk in Meat, and Gamzee in Candy, each compelled me to take multiple showers through the course of my reading, because EW. And to yell at the screen almost continually for about the middle third of each route. And most of the loose ends that I wanted to see tied up, were. Hats off to @cephiedvariable and the other writers for being awesome. I dunno. Maybe I just like having my feelings stomped on and my brain put in a blender on "frappe”?

I have multiple rounds of thoughts on different themes which I may or may not dump: Dirk and transhumanist tech-bro hubris; Gamzee and OOCness; this Ultimate Self business; the Epilogues as parodies or critiques of various fanfic tropes. Might take a while to collect, especially if I actually want to keep updating R^4, which I may now have to tag as Epilogue Non-Compliant unless I can figure out a new ending. But it wouldn’t be the worst thing. I now have all kinds of great ideas for Epilogue-Compliant things.

#homestuck #homestuck epilogue #metablogulation

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lacertae-dreamscape · 5 years

Text

I’ve been thinking about something that happened while I was still neck-deep into homestuck (so like. years ago)...

There was this huge BNF i followed then who liked my OTP. i’d never really interacted w them much, but then they reblogged one of my friends’ art

(e n t i r e l y unrelated to HS actually)

and someone went to the BNF’s ask on anon to shit on my friend with absolutely no receipts. I dont remember what the ask was about but it was a slandering piece of shit like ‘hey op, [my friend] u reblogged from is actually a disgusting yyy’ and the BNF, rather than, u know, have a look around or anything

just straight out accused my friend on their blog like a call-out, shrugged it off, deleted the reblog and fuelled the thing further with their own comments.

And my friend hadn’t done. ANYTHING.

SO due to the BNF there was backlash. I went directly to tell the BNF that they were hella wrong -and their answer is basically why I’m still thinking about it years down the lane

[paraphrased because its been years]

‘I dont check the call-outs i receive i just post them’

the BNF just. Posted without care what any anon without proof popped around to tell them, without doing any research, without checking, just. Blindly posting.

They didn’t even apologize for the shit they pulled, for the judgement, the lack of politeness, they didn’t even feel responsible. They just shrugged and moved on,

and i see this shit happening now too, people just accusing others without proof or just inventing bullshit or faking shit or mis-using words as a gotcha

and nobody fucking cares, they take shit at face value for the sake of the thrill of the hunting campaign.

Feels like people are villagers rioting after they’ve found a witch to burn, not caring if its a witch or not, not caring to look, they just want to vilify people and shit on them

and I think. Well fuck. We’re back in EU middle ages and for one I’m over that.

#fran talks #i've been thinking about this for the past few days #idk how to word things well #(also i've been trying to phrase things so they're easier to read)#(idk if it just feels stupid)#long post #i stopped following that BNF eons ago #im also not quite talking w that friend anymore for unrelated reasons #but if u parade urself as someone who's got a following in fandom #u cant just accept everything ur told at face value #i get not wanting to check everything but also don't just #shrug and post whatever?#or endorse things that might cause shit to happen to others willingly #like please

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galaxyacerodoesart · 5 years

Photo

OOOOH BOY. GET READY ‘CUZ HERE COMES ONE LONG ASS POST, FOLKS C’:

OH MY GOD, I can’t believe i’m FINALLY done with this cursed thing. Well… after the first Sanderstuck thing I did, I decided to might as well commit to it fully adlakshdlkahdjah SO. HERE WE HAVE IT.

FULL SPRITE SHEETS OF EVERYONE IN THIS CURSED SANDERS SIDES AU. THAT IS SANDERSTUCK.

Ok, to be completely honest, Those are all just my ideas and all djsakdjaskdl If you have like, a different God-tier for anyone here,

THAT’S GREAT!

:DD It has actually been a few years since I did some good God-tier Analysis and all, so some of my choices might be weird and stuff, but hey, if it makes at least A LITTLE bit of sense, it’s good for me :v

I don’t think I need to say this AU WOULD have them all as Humans/different beings…right? :’v it should be pretty obvious but still. Being a Human AU AND a Homestuck AU, That’s why they each look different from one another, have more “casual” clothes And the reason to why I changed some stuff, Like, YES. I know, Thomas eyes aren’t anywhere near the mint color I gave him, BUT i a Homestuck AU context it makes sense since Eye color = Text color in HS. I could have given him brown eyes buuuut…Brown text wouldn’t be as fun :’) So, he gets a nice mint-green color! Oh, and if anyone is curious, Remy eyes are a Silver-grey color! c: Everyone always thought he was blind whenever they looked at him (he isn’t, his eyesight is a bit sensitive to light, but he can see without any problem) so to stop the staring and questions, he decided to just wear glasses all the time. :o

So, In order, We have the sprite sheets of:

Thomas - Patton - Logan - Roman - Virgil - Deceit(Dolian) - Remy - Emile

Now, Under Read more i’ll put some extra info about each sprite, so if you are truly curious go ahead and read it! c: I must say, this definitely was fun pff, Since I was going more deep into this whole thing, I figured I might as well give their trollsonas signs from the canon extended zodiac Even though, someone like Deceit might still keep the original idea I had for him and not show his sign at all, I made him showing in the sprite just for shows c: And I did change Troll!Virgil horns so they would resemble something more like a lightning bolt, due to the thunderstorm cloud that is his symbol! It was DEFINITELY fun to come up with Emile and Thomas troll desings, since I never did one for them in the past, Thomas being a Bronze blood is simply because…well..he’s a Taurus :’v I was going to make Emile the Bronze Blood first (Not even sure why anymore, Just thought it would fit at first??) but then decided to let Thomas have it and Emile as Mustardblood with psiionics in blue and pink, giving a little nod to both his ties in both cartoon therapy videos c:

Again, this was really fun, pfff If anyone ever want to talk to me about this AU or anything, feel free to! I am mainly doing it for fun, after all c: no matter how cursed I feel it is

Thomas Sprite sheet:

Standard Black and White Homestuck Style (AKA. Not that stylized sprite)

“Could be Gayer” Shirt

Steven universe Shirt

RETRIEVE ARMS. (Arms sprite)

Trollsona, Bronze Blood (Canon extended zodiac - Sign of the Entrepreneur- Taurnius)

Dreamself, Prospit

God-Tier, Heir of Hope (Hood down)

God-Tier, Heir of Hope (Hood up)

Grimdark

Trickster Form (”Gay Bacon” Theme) The idea came to me out of nowhere and it was TOO GOOD to not use PFFT

Patton Sprite Sheet:

Standard Black and White Homestuck Style

Standard/Normal Sprite

Happy boio! (Arms sprite 1)

CAT JACKET ON! (Arms sprite 2)

Trollsona, Jade Blood ( Jade Blood, Canon extended zodiac - Sign of the Foundation - Virlo)

Dreamself, Prospit

God-Tier, Maid of Heart Because screw gender-roled GTs (Hood down)

God-Tier, Maid of Heart (Hood up)

Grimdark (welp someone is heartbroken.)

Trickster Form (Sweethearts candy Themed, Would probably be the first one to actually go on Trickster mode.)

Logan Sprite Sheet:

Standard Black and White Homestuck Style

Standard/Normal Sprite

“Allow me to pull out the fact to say how wrong you are.” (Arms Sprite)

Trollsona, Teal Blood (True Libra sign - Sign of the Watcher - Libra)

Trollsona, Just for funs, Troll!Logan with canon Terezi Pyrope horns.

Dreamself, Prospit

God-Tier, Seer of Mind i can’t believe I literally made Logan Terezi, holy fuck(Hood down)

God-Tier, Seer of Mind (Hood up)

Grimdark (a n g e r y a n d f r u s t r a t i o n . )

Trickster Form (Crumpets with crofters jelly Themed, Well… looks like it isn’t everyone that can get super hyped on a weird sugar overdose-indulced happiness. Huh. AKA: Logan is Basically Dirk and doesn’t get all hyped like every other trickster.)

Roman Sprite Sheet:

Standard Black and White Homestuck Style

Standard/Casual clothes Sprite

Casual Clothes + Arms (Arms Sprite)

Princey outfit

Trollsona, Violet Blood (Canon extended zodiac - Sign of the Campaigner- Aquaga)

Dreamself, Derse

God-Tier, Knight of Space (Hood down)

God-Tier, Knight of Space (Hood up)

Grimdark

Trickster Form (Raspberry pie Themed)

Virgil Sprite Sheet:

Standard Black and White Homestuck Style (Though it is still rather complex because I didn’t want to get rid of the plaid…pff)

Standard/Normal Sprite

Ow the angst. (Hood Up, Arms sprite 1)

“I’m not ignoring you, it isn’t my fault that my phone is way more interesting than you right now.” (Arms sprite 2)

Trollsona, Purple Blood (Canon extended zodiac - Sign of the Bold - Capries) If you think of making a dick joke because of the sign form, just know you are too late as it already has been done by half the homestuck/hiveswap fandom lmao.

Dreamself, Derse

God-Tier, Page of Time (Hood down, Changed outfit because he sure as HECK wasn’t gonna go around wearing no pants.)

God-Tier, Page of Time (Hood up)

Grimdark (Oh look, i’m more dead inside than I already was. Wow.)

Trickster Form (Cotton Candy Themed. Too much positive emotions and completely lack of care surely seem to be rather overwhelming and awful when you deal with stuff like anxiety and paranoia on a daily bases, huh?!)

Deceit (True name in this AU is “Dolian”) Sprite Sheet:

Standard Black and White Homestuck Style

Standard/Casual Clothes Sprite

“Why, I certainly have NO IDEA what you mean by that.” (Arms sprite)

Normal Deceit Look

Trollsona, Cerulean Blood (Canon extended zodiac - Sign of the Doubtful- Scorittarius)

Dreamself, Derse

God-Tier, Bard of Void (Hood down, and no fucking Cod-piece because I refuse to draw anyone that isn’t the canon HS characters with one, and because Deceit sure as heck wouldn’t wear it if you ask me)

God-Tier, Bard of Void (Hood up)

Grimdark (Someone seems…way too happy with this…)

Trickster Form (Lemons Themed. If you were around the internet before the word “sm u t/ ns f w” was being used, i know what you are thinking… D O N T .) The famous Twisted happy person.

Remy (Sleep) Sprite Sheet: funfact- Remy is the only one who eyebrows deceive logic and appear on top of his hair, mainly because i didn’t want to lose the chance to present more emotions and expressions to him.

Standard Black and White Homestuck Style

Standard/Normal Sprite

“GUUURL, YOU WOULDN’T GUESS WHERE I AM. But please try to because I personally have no idea how I got here, lol” (Arms Sprite)

Trollsona, (Mutant) Lime Blood (Canon extended zodiac - Sign of the Vociferous - Canun)

Trollsona, Would disguise himself as an Olive blood (but never change his sign because he figured no one would be bothered to fucking look that stupid thing up, right?! Oh no, there goes my hive and my lusus is now dead, woops.)

Dreamself, Derse

God-Tier, Thief of Breath (Hood Down)

God-Tier, Thief of Breath (Hood up)

Grimdark

Trickster Form (Frappuccino themed. How does the cup stays in his hair and doesn’t spill or anything?! Trickster Magic.)

Emile Sprite Sheet:

Standard Black and White Homestuck Style

Normal/Pink Tie Sprite

Blue Tie/Glasses Sprite

THE THERAPIST IS IN AND READY TO GO! (Arms Sprite)

Trollsona, Mustard Blood (Canon extended zodiac - Sign of the Intimate, Gemcer)

Dreamself, Prospit

God-Tier, Sylph of Blood (Hood Down, again, fuck them gendered GTs, slightly modified so it isn’t much of a dress and more like pants, mainly for easier walking/practicality)

God-Tier, Sylph of Blood (Hood up)

Grimdark

Trickster Form (Fizzy bubblegum bottles candy Themed)

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tgvelvet · 5 years

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So I'm years late and I just finished Homestuck for the first time and I wanna write out some thoughts about it. I doubt anything I say will be anything someone else hasn't already but even so. I'll limit my talking about specific events and focus more on the broad strokes but here we go.

So from [S] Collide to the credits, I cried. And I can't overstate how rare it is for that to happen when I'm consuming a story. I can probably count the amount of times it's happened on two hands. I'm easy to please but hard to invest and even when i'm invested, for something to make me cry, it's rare? I can just about find something to like and enjoy about basically any story even ones that are objectively bad. But it takes something truly special to make me choke up, cry, get angry, and leave the story wanting more. (It's worth noting I haven't read the epilogue yet and I won't until I process things more but I've heard some very polarizing things? I digress)

And Homestuck was just that for me. Over its 8,000 pages and 800,000 words, I found myself getting absorbed in the world and falling for nearly all of the characters. The characters made me laugh, sometimes they annoyed me (lookin' at you Jake), I got excited about the growth they underwent, and sometimes they were just fuckin' BADASS. Their dialogue wildly alternates between silly and tackling hard issues - Dave's dialogue especially comes to mind - but to me, it all feels very real. And I love them all for it.

Similarly, I find myself wondering about Sburb itself. Like what would a ~typical~ session of Sburb play like. What would happen if I myself were a player. What would my classpect be (most recently I've decided on Hope being my aspect but that changes often, and anything but page being my class - because I want pants and Pages have uncomfortable booty shorts - Knight would be my preference), would I be a Prospit or Derse dreamer (inconclusive. I don't feel strongly attached to either side and my opinion changes all the time. So I like to think I'd end up like Sollux and have one on each), what my world would be. It's so neat to think about.

Even the ending, while understandably being unsatisfying to many, sets up discussion and lets readers form their own theories as to how things unfold after the story. Do these characters end up together? Does x plotline end in happiness or tragedy? We're given the building blocks but ultimately up to you it's in your hands and (minus the now new epilogue from which my understanding is ambiguously canon anyway. And if you disagree with the epilogue which many seem to then just disregard it) however you interpret things isn't wrong! And because of the nature of the story you can take any part of it and change it up to your liking and nobody can say that it didn't happen in one timeline or another. And I appreciate that.

While I wasn't into Homestuck while it was BIG and came later, I also can't help but think that the fandom especially at its peak - for better or for worse - is just a testament to just how special of a story it is for many people and it's undeniable the impact it's had. The amount of fan-content and fan-theories is staggering and that's an awesome thing.

Now if you've read all of what was essentially me just word vomiting at the void it's probably a special thing to you too. But it's not for many people, and that is also OK! The series itself and many people involved with it, especially early on but even now, have had a... shall we say, Questionable attitude and outlook on what is OK. For example for the first half the r-slur was not uncommon and at one point Hussie has the opportunity to make an f-slur joke and doesn't hesitate. Hussie has said and done and still does some at best insensitive things.

And these things are not okay and not defendable even if there have been apologies for some of them (Let me be very clear that ones mistakes of the past should not stay with them forever if they make genuine apologies and grow, but those mistakes still exist and hurt people and those hurt aren't obligated to forgive, and if you continue to make similar mistakes then people are very much allowed to be suspicious. And Hussie. Still Fucks Shit Up™). And while HS has done and said just as many great things, the bad is still VERY BAD and is gonna kill the story for a lot of people.

Some, myself included, elect to acknowledge the bad but look at the good things and take that for our own, but for some that's just too much bad to dissociate from the good and they're not wrong to think that way. Basically what I'm trying to say here is, yeah Homestuck is a truly special work, but also makes a sizable chunk of people uncomfortable and that's something that needs to be respected.

Anyway I think I've lost my point. So I'll end this with a. Homestuck Good. Has Problems but is Good. Peace out.

#homestuck #mikleo screams #mikleo reads homestuck

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missfinefeather · 5 years

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Solidad

alright

just need to drop a quick content warning for the next few episodes

MissFinefeather

Oh 0.0; am I going to have to censor out some nipples?

Solidad

No, we have some homophobic slurs coming, I don't know how they're translated in english but I just wanted to warn you in advance

MissFinefeather

Oh...

Solidad

one in episode 9 and one in episode 11

kyle53

On rutube at least it is translated like a slur

will check on youtube

Ok so none of the two are translated on youtube , on rutube episode 9 is a slur and i'm not certain about 11

how do we feel about the word pansy ?

MissFinefeather

I mean, I could though it, but I don't like the history behind it

But yeah, I've put up Homestuck using

the R word, I can get through this...

kyle53

For episode 9 it's translated as fairy.

MissFinefeather

I just hope it's meant to make fun of bigots instead of empower them.

Nora (fae/faer)

Jegus. Just... why.

Solidad

They're not used to make fun of bigots but I honestly think it's more a lack of thinking than actual hate

Astier wrote some dumb shitit sadly happened

but he is pro-LGBT as far as I know

Solidad

Alright I found a statement he made regarding the use of the slurs, I'll translate that and post it here

MissFinefeather

Alright

Solidad

Interviewer : What’s important for you is the sound of words , and phrases before their meaning. However there are many words you used like "slur", "slur", "slur", "slur" That go over pretty badly nowadays even when used in a mocking manner.

Alexandre Astier : They are two very different things. Firstly, I can’t forbid myself from writing homophobic characters. I even think that mocking homophobic characters is a way to confirm that they are in the wrong. They are some in Kaamelott, they are warrior, guys who want to appear old-school. It’s homophobic, sexist and very insulting, but it’s those guys that I show. Obviously the words have to be there. I wouldn’t tell them in public because it could hurt people that I didn’t realize I might have hurt. But for me, a « slur » is not someone who’s homosexual. A « slur » is a dude who annoys me because he’s to weak/slow : you want to shake him up a bit. It’s one of my kids who showed me someone who explained that a scene from book 1 was homophobic. It don’t think it’s true. At the time when I wrote it with a good actor who has since passed away Marcel Philippot, who played « future character », I was happy that Arthur, the hero, said that he didn’t understand why some people wanted to ban homosexuality. It made me very sad that it was twisted to say something else. I didn’t want to hurt some people over that subject.

tenaciousDecapitator

I can see what he's saying about portraying homophobia as a trait for evil characters but that's still a very risky move

Solidad

Yeah I really don't agree with him

especially since one of the slurs that will appear in today's session is just randomly thrown

tenaciousDecapitator

Yeah

Solidad

like a regular insult and nothing more

tenaciousDecapitator

When was this filmed, btw? Like the 90s?

kyle53

2005

Solidad

early 2000's

tenaciousDecapitator

MissFinefeather

I mean, yeah, you could portray homophobic people, but you kind of have to be tactical about it? At the same time, you don't want to give people like that a platform for their beliefs.

tenaciousDecapitator

Exactly

Solidad

I'm honestly really disappointed in Astier, it's not Notch level of disappointment but still

tenaciousDecapitator

It's a very thin tightrope to navigate, and most of the time folks tip too much to one side, intentionally or no

MissFinefeather

I mean, I can tell he's just being ignorant instead of outright hateful.

that doesn't make it great

But still...

tenaciousDecapitator

yeah

Solidad

From the other comments I read from him he really seems like he doesn't really know much about the subject

For example, he is pro gay marriage because he believe he doesn't know enough about homosexuality, so he's gonna let gay people decide for themselves

good dude

but ignorant

tenaciousDecapitator

[He's a little confused but he got the spirit.gif]

#Kaamelott4 #Kaamelott #Missfinefeather Liveblogs #Missfinefeather watches Kaamelott #liveblog #french television #blacklist Missfinefeather

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landofsomethingsomething · 7 years

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Yo someone's trying to tell me Hussie is a racist and hates disabled people but has absolutely no evidence. What do I do?

You gotta decide for yourselves whether people in the year of our lord 2017 should be judged entirely by the words and thoughts and ideas they put out into the world years ago in different life stages. Like. This isn’t a problem that’s going to go away. Increasingly now the history of people’s entire life journey is accessible via some social media snap shot in the wayback machine or some ancient chat log sitting on someone’s hard drive out there. We don’t all start from the same place. A lot of us start from positions of privilege, from systems learned from parents or other family or institutions with power over us that influence our way of thinking when our brains are first developing the capacity for empathy and understanding.

And we grow. And we create. And we experience things. And we talk with people. We make friends. We read feedback. We listen to some and we disregard others, and years later, some (but by no means all) of what we disregarded we might think about again and realize was good feedback and helpful advice.

Our opinions change. Our understanding of our own privilege changes. Our understanding of media and propaganda and narrative and power structures and justice change. Our biases shift. Our politics change. Our worldviews are shaped by our conversations and our experiences and the things we take to heart and the things we lock outside.

Hussie used to interact heavily with the fandom. There is so much text from him out there saved in archives that has been pored over again and again and again by people with axes to grind, people with their own agendas, people who feel wronged and hurt and ignored by someone they maybe once respected and looked up to.

Anyone with that much text over that long a period of time has something fucking problematic out there waiting to hang them, I guarantee it. Back in 2012 the r-slur and the a-slur were common slang used by elementary school kids, let alone ppl frequenting the various rancid asscracks of the internet. Then awareness campaigns took root and opinions and language shifted for the better and suddenly a lot of text written without that mindfulness started looking really nasty, didn’t it?

We as a society are going to have to make some hard decisions in the very near future about how much rope we need when we’re eyeing those gallows for people we feel wronged by. How much someone’s opinion now means when their opinion five years ago might have been the exact opposite. How much good faith to extend to people who grow and change and understand their younger selves had some Bad Opinions about the world, but can’t erase the words they said, and have to live with them for the rest of their lives because people looking for ammunition can find it in ample supply. How much someone’s actions now count for weighed against their words in another fucking life.

There are quotes out there where Hussie said some stupid shit. There are a million words of Hussie quotes out there. I don’t know how old you are, but if you’re an adult, I can almost guarantee you that you can go back some number of years and remember a version of you that you’d be terrified of the internet finding today.

The dude gave us one of the most queer-positive, transformative and engaging pieces of media of all time. It wasn’t perfect and he wasn’t perfect because nothing and no one is. The queer community is always so goddamn hypercritical of its prolific creators, in part because we’re desperate for the things we want and never get and it’s so frustrating to find people who *almost* give you what you want – and god knows the mainstream media isn’t listening, so where else do we have to turn but inward? We’re a stymied, frustrated group desperate for representation on all sorts of underrepresented axes of oppression and no one story is ever going to satisfy everyone. But Homestuck was so big, so expansive and meant so much to so many - of course there’s a lot of bitter disappointment out there.

How much rope do we need to hang someone? How much history do we need to build a gallows out of plank by fucking plank to feel morally justified?

It’s up to you.

#text #asks #on fandom #skelo-saurus

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hotelconcierge · 6 years

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YOUNG ADULT FICTIONS

Slate Star Codex, “Some groups of people who may not 100% deserve our eternal scorn,” defending Harry Potter political analogies:

Comparing politics to your favorite legends is as old as politics and legends. Herodotus used an extended metaphor between the Persian invasions of his own time and the Trojan War. When King Edward IV took the English throne in 1461, all anybody could talk about was how it reminded them of King Arthur. John Dryden’s famous poem Absalom and Achitophel is a bizarrely complicated analogy of 17th-century English politics to an obscure Biblical story. Throughout American history people have compared King George to Pharaoh, Benedict Arnold to Judas, Abraham Lincoln to Moses, et cetera.

Well, how many people know who Achitophel is these days? Even Achilles is kind of pushing it. So we stick to what we know – and more important, what we expect everyone else will know too. And so we get Harry Potter.

“But a children’s book?” Look, guys, fantasy is what the masses actually like. They liked it in Classical Greece, where they had stories like Bellerophon riding a flying horse and fighting the Chimera. They liked it in medieval Britain, where they would talk about the Knights of the Round Table slaying dragons as they searched for the Holy Grail. The cultural norm where only kids are allowed to read fantasy guilt-free and everybody else has to read James Joyce is a weird blip in the literary record which is already being corrected. Besides, James Joyce makes for a much less interesting source of political metaphors (“The 2016 election was a lot like Finnegan’s Wake: I have no idea what just happened”)

Hoo boy did he walk into that one.

Plebeians have been plebeian forever, granted, although the age of SSC’s examples (Medieval Britain?) is telling: contra the above, the distinction between highbrow and lowbrow literature exists whenever the majority of the population is literate.

But regardless, SSC (for the record, mostly Good) is being fooled by branding. No one compares the “fantasy” elements of Harry Potter to the U.S. political system. The fantasy elements are irrelevant, which is why Hamilton works just as well. Wannabe pundits compare the characters. And it is the characters, their psyches, the ambiguity that persists after two millennia of debate, that has made The Iliad stand the test of time. As clever as Artemis Fowl may be, it’s naive to pretend there’s no difference.

What makes it obvious that Deadpool (rating: R) is a kid’s movie while 2001: A Space Odyssey (rating: G) is not? Turn on the TV and flip through a few kids shows—nothing educational, I’m talking epilepsy triggers. After a couple, you’ll notice a unifying theme: everything is turned up to the max. All the characters are live/laugh/loving, fighting, crying; the soundtrack goes major or minor for every ephemeral mood. The characters have saucer eyes and exaggerated movements, The Emoji Movie being the logical conclusion of the genre, every motivation gets a musical number, these shows are MAXIMALLY EXPRESSIVE, leaving no doubt as to what emotion you are supposed to feel by the microsecond.

Please hear that I mean no disrespect when I say that this is why people with autism like Disney.

Q: Why did it feel good to watch [Disney movies] over and over again, that you kept wanting to? Watch them over and over again? How did that feel to you?

A: It felt comforting.

Q: Comforting.

A: It felt comforting.

Q: Why?

A: Because it would help me with...reducing my autism. (Radiolab)

Nothing wrong with that. Partisan bullshit aside, Harry Potter is great. But it’s important to recognize the limitations. Young adult fiction can have complex characters, worldbuilding, and rules of magic/ethics/rationality as long as the complexity is spelled out for you. “Snape was mean to Harry...but [flashback] that’s because, deep down, he was still in love with Lily...” What such stories will never ask you to do is intuit that Snape had tribulations, they assume that you have no instinct for cognitive empathy, which you don’t, which is why your politics are vapid.

(When fiction deprives you of access to any character’s mind or explanation of events, you feel the opposite of comfort: horror. Saw is not a scary film because it is nothing but explanations; a Kafka story feels “off” even before shit goes down because the world and the characters refuse to show their work.)

Young adult fiction is a stepping stone, good if it helps you get better at understanding people without a Wes Anderson narrator whispering in your ear. Unfortunately, the ability to parrot accepted opinions is often taken for the ability to derive judgments of one’s own. I’m thinking of a homestuck 13 year old who is constantly told that he/she is “so mature” for getting straight A’s and being well-spoken with the dinner guests and not ditching class to smoke brick weed with Devin. Whether or not those behaviors are good, the kid isn’t mature, he or she is well-trained, and if you keep claiming maturity then you are going to stunt development. Sorry: not having an adolescent rebellion means you didn’t complete adolescence. The result is neotenous adults who are not overly sensitive—as conservative media would claim—but rather overly dependent on external rules. Cards Against Humanity is so funny, right? You get to say bad words, but it’s only a game.

“Help, I was a gifted kid and now I’m a normal adult!” Different adjective, same problem. Once Hal Incandenza is typecast as “gifted,” everyone will find it convenient to grade him (praise/no praise) on whether he is living up to his label. How do you look gifted? You can solve P vs. NP......or you can read the dictionary. I’ll bet that every ex-gifted kid who now uses “adulting” as a verb is a fan of those faux-pretentious memes, “mfw she confuses epistemics and ontology,” fitting Wikipedia philosophy into preformed joke structures, lowbrow expressions of highbrow concepts, a few college words to suggest immeasurable depths. You do what you know: exert the minimum necessary effort to convince other people of your intelligence. But you can’t convince yourself.

The consequences are predictable. Imposter syndrome. Scrupulosity. Sexual fetishes suffixed with -play. Gushing compassion ruined by the inability to picture how one appears to the outside world. Neediness. Ill-fitting jeans. Trouble with romance, and not because they don’t know how—deep down they do—but because they cling to a rulebook (“milady”) instead of trusting instinct. They were never allowed to have instincts. For that matter they’ve never really wanted, never felt a desire that wasn’t assigned, which is why: open relationships, switched majors, medicated anxiety, and ambivalence, ambivalence, ambivalence.

I know how heavy lies the burden of wasted potential. So please take this in the gentlest possible way: you were never that great. Greatness is a meaningless thing to apply to a kid, or a college student, or any idea that hasn’t forced it’s way onto paper. The only path is forward. “It’s our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” I think that’s Dumbledore, take it or leave it—there’s a time and a place for young adult fiction.

Coming soon:

THE FALSE POSITIVES

THE FALSE NEGATIVES

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