#then told to do my own take

[ireonic]

Me: how do I study as a neurodivergent person?

Google: how to help your autistic child study

Me: how to study as an autistic adult/teen

Google: teachers guide to how to deal with autistic children

Me: how do I study as an autistic teen/adult

Google: study tips for autistic people(-written by this allistic man that will talk about autistic people like they're zoo animals)

Me: how to study as a neurodivergent adult, tips from neurodivergent person to neurodivergent students, on how to study independently as an autistic person, no reliant support needed

Google: high functioning autism and school

Me: fuck just. How do I focus during this test that I'm in rn as an AuDHD person

Google: ok, so, to focus on this thing that you currently are doing and need to get done TODAY; weeks before the test you'll need to eat healthy and exercise, meditate, study, set timers, take breaks, drink water, sleep, find the secrets to a happy life, adopt five children, sacrifice a goat, take short showers, brush your teeth

Executive dysfunction:

My fucking deadline:

#adhd #actually autistic #im so fucking sick #of the tips for people taking care of people with autism when im sesrching SPECIFICALLY on how to manage my own autism #im so sick of getting infantalized #im so sick of getting alienated from the fact that im human #im so fucking sick of autistic adults getting forgotten #im tired of searching for how to help myself and getting tips for people who dont struggle with what i do #im sick of getting callef high functioning #im sick of getting told when i look for study tips to rely on other people to help me #rant post

[thottybrucewayne]

I think what I want to get into with the "Anyone can do harm." thing that I keep beating yall over the head with is that literally anyone, anyone at all can do harm it's not "in your DNA" to be an abuser or written in the stars that you'll be a predator. Whatever image you have of an abuser in your head, drop it and replace it with your favorite person in the world and you'll probably be closer to the truth than you realize. It's easy to address harm when it's coming from someone you already hate. I see it happen all the time. Someone you couldn't stand for no real reason does something heinous then all of a sudden here comes the avalanche of "I always knew they were a fucked up individual." No, you didn't. There is no possible way you could have known, you just already didn't fuck with them before they started doing something you could use to justify your hatred of them. I'm guilty of it too! I'm petty, mean, vindictive, and yes! I'm way quicker to believe something bad about someone I hate versus someone I love because I'm human. Still, y all gotta learn to move past that initial "Well, they were always nice to me!" gut feeling and understand that nobody truly knows anyone and anyone can be capable of anything. Even victims. Even you.

#thotty speaks #thotty rants #I was thinking about that Christine chan post and its like yeah yall really don't know how bad it got for her before she did what she did #It reminded me of that thing on tiktok where people take 'cringy' cosplayers videos (most of whom are literal children) and put racist or #bigoted text over it then reupload it to call them out then the og creator gets a flood of harassment mostly from people who hated them for #the crime of being weird on the internet but now they can use 'oh but they're a bigot!' as an excuse to tear them down until they come out #and say 'hey i didn't say this someone stole my shit' and nobody takes their vids down nor apologizes because they didn't fuck with them #anyway so wash rinse repeat #idk I just wish that people had the same smoke for people they actually like #mostly cause I'm tired of being accused of 'switching up' every time I cut people off or stop fuckin with an artist #like this is what we should be doing!!!! ACG ANYBODY CAN GET IT! #It should be smoke for ANYONE who does harm every your fave people! #otherwise you create this world where taking people to task for the harm they've done is less about the harm #and more about justifying our own actions #anyway keep that same energy across the board that's all I'm saying #cause if it comes out tomorrow that somebody close to me did some fucked up shit I'm out of there period #aint no talkin bout shit and that's on me growing up as a child told that certain grown folks can't be alone with me #but they allowed in my house... #Idk about yall but i'm ending that generational curse with me

[welcometogrouchland]

(ID in alt) I literally said I was gonna post this month's ago and then never had the wherewithal to describe it and so I didn't Lmao (said with pain). But since I'm thinking of opening my commissions I figured I should remind ppl that I. Yknow. Can draw.

Lots of Steph here (I had major art block making all of these and my brain worms for her kept me going) + some sprinkles of stephcass for Cass nation to enjoy!

#dc comics #dc #stephanie brown #cassandra cain #jason todd #(yes for the teddy bear. it counts) #batgirl #batgirls #mine #< keep forgetting to tag my art as that I'm terrible 😭 #ANYHOW I'm slowly getting back into drawing again after my last ipad got nuked (cant think abt that or ill cry) and i finished uni #oh yeah j finished my first year of uni btw. i went to an Olivia Rodrigo concert like a week or 2 ago. I've been busy lol #but yeah it's looking like I've got a fun summer of bottom feeding ahead of me now that I've officially been told i got passed over for that #-comic job i applied for. lol. lmao even #it's fine honestly it was a pretty daunting prospect i just have to find a way to fill the time by myself now #I've plenty of comics to read so that's nice. got wayyy into mark waids DD run recently (mostly for Chris Samnee's art) #so that's been fun! i have my empowered omnibus (embarrassing and kept under my bed <3) i have TT year 1 i have huntress and WW #uhhh i got flash 1 minute war. lots of good stuff! #so hopefully i don't go. completely feral from lack of stimulation #also hopefully commissions will be a thing i can do #godddd there's many mkre things i want to draw. i got too enamoured w my own bad theory and now I've drawn tim!bats #but unfortunately now i only want to draw tim!bats being laughed at my the batfamily bc seriously tim?? really?? #< it's literally probably not going to happen but I've invested myself in this terrible future for some reason #imagine damian trying to robin for tim!bats for 1 (one) night and the next morning he doesn't say anything he just moves to bludhaven #he can't take this shit #oh so many ideas... #ANYWAY. ues. finally art. now if you like it. consider commissioning me (in 2 to 3 business weeks <3) #(no pressure)

[autisticandroids]

FAMINE: That's one deep, dark nothing you've got there, Dean.

[youtube with closed captions]

dean and his father. dean and his family. dean and how bad it is.

(via @closetoyou1970)

#spn #vid #mind the warnings on this one for real #woe! fruit of my rewatch be upon ye. #pallas calls this my 'deangirl coming out vid' which honestly. true. but those who paid attention know i've always been a deangirl. #also. after this no more deanwinchester rilo kiley amvs I Pwomise #anyway. i'm not gonna give a full commentary here but a big reason why i chose this song is that the narrator #is essentially dismissing her own problems and instead watching the problems of someone else #and i kind of wanted to play with that theme. this is the parallels show so let's do some parallels. lots of things happen to characters #that are Like Dean somehow. either in personality or circumstance. that we know or can infer happen to him. but we don't see it bc it's #not sayable. not speakable. so like for an easy one. we see meg being tortured in caged heat. she also talks about apprenticing under #alastair just like dean. so i show her being tortured [in a way that is sexualized and demon-specific] and reacting how she does #because i invite the audience to imagine or interpret that this has also happened to dean at some point. we just don't see it #so there are many dean parallels in this video. some obvious. some subtle but textual. some products of my twisted mind. but that's the way #i am using them to make my argument. #oh also: dean voice sam's eyes going black is JUST like when he used to fight with dad and wouldn't listen to me when i told him not to. #i guess also the point is that because it's unsayable. dean can't say it. dean can't even acknowledge it. and so it bleeds through #into everything in his life #that's why it's important that the song narrator doesn't take her own problems seriously. dean doesn't either.

[rubenesque-as-fuck]

Strange Things Are Atentacle

Acrylic on canvas, December 2023

#strange things are atentacle #i do take commissions btw #faye's most excellent art projects #acrylic painting #painting commission #bill and Ted and their octo-pal #art commissions #bill and ted #octopus #i realized i never made my own post of this finished commission piece from last December #i was immensely proud of it #then a friend basically told me they thought it looked bad and it really bummed me out #but was looking at it again and ypu know what i fuckin' love it #and i was super honored to have someone request it as a gift for a partner #ps look at the quality rendering of slutty 80's midriff

[hella1975]

it's been pointed out on here before that a lot of terf arguments are actually rooted in sexist idealology that feminists fought and died to unnormalise decades ago and that's its own kettle of fish but one thing i also find very frustrating about this so called 'radical' feminism is that it's so... defeatist? like the moment you categorically label an entire section of society as Bad and Inherently Evil then there's also the implication that nothing can be done about it, and it completely takes all accountability away. saying all men are evil is just another way of saying boys will be boys. he raped her because he's a man. he hit her because he's a man. he didn't listen because he's a man - it's almost offensively oversimplified. there's no point trying to fix this issue in society because men are just Like That, okay! so now what? it's not like they're going anywhere, so you just accept that 50% of the population are evil and will forever treat you terribly and there's nothing to be done about it bc they're biologically predisposed to it? like is that fr the argument here? you're soooo radical for that

#this is coming from someone who used to very genuinely be a misandrist #ironically it was only when i started actually analysing my own feminism that i got MORE confrontational with men #and started respecting my boundaries a lot better BECAUSE i started holding them accountable again #like when men treat me like shit nowadays i dont just write it off as 'what did you expect? he's a man' i get MAD about it #because i EXPECT BETTER FROM THEM even if it's just tiny shit women have to deal with daily #i hold them to just as high a standard as im held to and i make them take accountability when they dont meet that #and whether you realise it or not even on a subconscious level the MOMENT you black-and-white blanket statement all men as bad #you stop holding them accountable. #like it is literally just boys will be boys. do terfs seriously not realise they're sending feminism BACKWARDS #like if a girl came to me with her trauma and people - other girls no less - tried to comfort her with 'yeah all men are evil' #id be fucking furious. like no he did that because he was a piece of shit that had it normalised to him that women arent to be respected #dont you dare let him off the hook with something as simple and uncritical as 'he's a man' #i promise you men like that will MUCH prefer a blanket statement such as 'all men are as bad as each other' #than actually being point blank told they're an abuser or a rapist. because being lumped together is comfortable and even empowering #wheras isolating their behaviour with words that are Bad and Ugly (LIKE 'rapist') is not comfortable at all and has heavy connotations #idk i dont think radical feminism is always bad on its own it can be v liberating. just terfs and misandrists that i have a problem with #dropping this post in a piranha tank and closing tumblr knowing im gonna have some thirty year old karen yelling at me within 5 mins #i probably wont respond to any terf comments bc they literally mentally exhaust me with their stupidity #but that also depends on my mood and ability to keep my mouth shut LMFAO we shall see

[antianakin]

There is exactly one criticism that I agree with my, very anti-Jedi, cousin on and that's the Jedi were TERRIBLE Generals. Generals may TRY to make sure their men mostly come back. But useless sacrifices are not only acceptable, but expected, the men are mostly expandable in war. The Jedi did not consider sacrifices like that acceptable or expected. Sure it did happen. It was WAR. But they tried their best to make sure it DIDN'T. The Jedi were terrible Generals. But they were the teachers and Leaders the CLONES NEEDED.

I'm not sure I'd ENTIRELY agree with that. I think I'd be willing to agree that the Jedi were perhaps less CONVENTIONAL Generals, and they definitely do seem to at least TRY to place the lives of their men above just tossing them away for an easy victory, but you can just as easily claim that keeping the men alive to keep fighting is a good strategy in and of itself.

The biggest piece of evidence I'd point to that the Jedi were actually perfectly good Generals is the Citadel arc and Tarkin's criticisms. The one real criticism he makes of the Jedi as military leaders is that they're occasionally too soft and will abandon a mission if it looks impossible to win without near total casualties (on either side). But he's generally fairly positive about the Jedi and if they were truly awful at their jobs, I don't think TARKIN of all people would hold back on saying so, even to the Jedi's faces.

And we DO see the Jedi willing to make sacrifices and accepting that this is a necessary part of war. The Citadel arc is, again, a perfectly good example of this. Obi-Wan and Anakin go in with like 3-4 men each I think and they come back with a grand total of 3 (Rex, Cody, and Fives). A LOT of clones die on this mission that they all KNEW was basically a suicide mission because the Jedi themselves decided that getting the information about the hyperspace lanes was vital enough to the war that it was worth losing multiple lives over (including their own).

So it's not that the Jedi don't understand that sacrifices are necessary in war or even that they avoid it entirely, they just avoid what they see as UNNECESSARY sacrifice for what might amount to a fairly minor victory. Keeping more of their men alive might, in the long run, be a better strategic choice than losing all of them on one campaign, especially if it's over like one uninhabited moon or something like that. There's nothing to say that the losses the Jedi deem acceptable are things that would've changed the entire tide of the war had they chosen to push forward instead.

The other good evidence that the Jedi acting this way would've been the WORSE choice is the Umbara arc. We are told and then see that Krell IS the kind of General who is willing to lose a lot of clones in order to gain victories in battle, and the clones do recognize that he has a lot of victories under his belt. But never once do they discuss whether those victories really MEANT anything or had a large impact on the war effort. It certainly never seems that the Republic is majorly pushing back the Separatists because of Krell's victories, nobody ever mentions that Krell gained them a major advantage with those victories or took out anyone of any consequence on the Separatist side with his strategies. And by the time he gets to Umbara, he's explicitly using this strategy to WEAKEN the Republic side and cause a loss. Several of his strategies WOULD'VE meant the Republic lost on Umbara and it's only the clones utilizing different strategies that put fewer of them at risk that they actually end up continuing to HAVE victories at all.

I'll also point out that the Jedi continuously getting their men killed en masse would've bankrupted the Republic a LOT earlier because they'd have to be paying for more clones a LOT more often than they did in canon and I can't imagine anyone would've considered that a particularly sound strategy and at some point I'm sure the Senate would've felt obligated to put a stop to it anyway and insisted on strategies that kept more clones alive for longer. So I'm not sure it's fair to claim the Jedi were utilizing BAD strategy by not just exclusively using tactics that meant most of their men were killed for every single victory.

So the ONLY criticism we EVER see of the Jedi's ability as military leaders is Tarkin claiming they're "too soft" and Tarkin is the kind of person who would likely say that until the Jedi started carpet bombing entire Separatist planets. Would it give them a victory? Yeah, sure, maybe, but that's the exact same strategy the Separatists are using and look how well that works out for THEM. Everything else we ever see seems to showcase that the Jedi are in fact perfectly good Generals, not just in that they're kind to the clones and are unwilling to carpet bomb Separatist planets, but also because they're just... good at this. They CAN be strategic, they CAN run wars if they want to. And I think that's the whole point of the Jedi in some ways is that yes, they CAN make war when they need to, they just actively choose NOT TO every time they can. THIS is why Qui-Gon tells Padme that he and Obi-Wan are there to protect her but that they can't win this war for her and they end up going off to fight off a Sith while Padme has to actually win the war with her own people and the Gungans instead. The Jedi don't WANT to be in the position of doing nothing but fighting, but they're absolutely capable of this kind of work.

That's the tragedy of the war in some ways, the Jedi ARE good at this no matter how much they wish they weren't sometimes. But being good at it means they can actually protect the Republic, their own men, and even the Separatist civilians better, so they're not going to just sit there and do things that will screw over a bunch of people. Yes, they're going to fight the war in such a way that they reduce casualties as much as possible, but reducing casualties also requires doing enough to not LOSE the damn war, too. It's a delicate balance they're trying to hold on to and I'd argue they manage it better than anybody else would've ever done in their position.

#star wars #jedi #pro jedi #clones #clone troopers #the clone wars #listen i am not a strategist #i CERTAINLY am not a military strategist #but just looking at what we're shown and told by tcw and the films i think it's fairly the clear the jedi were GOOD at being generals #regardless of whether they LIKED that or not #yes they wanted to protect the clones but they weren't idiots and they clearly weren't causing the republic to lose all the time either #there's a difference between strategically retreating from battles that can only be won by massive casualties with little to no reward #and prioritizing saving the clones OVER necessary victories in the war #the jedi are doing the former to my perspective #if they weren't i think the republic would've been a lot worse off just in general #unless we're about to start claiming that the clones and/or civilian officers were doing all of the real work instead of the jedi #which i personally would not #esp since we see the jedi sitting there going over battle plans and coming up with their own strategies quite often #tarkin's opinion on the matter is suspect - don't take his word for it when he says the jedi are too soft

[hollowfairybabybat]

lemme tattoo u with some dumb lil cute design then u n then tell everyone its ur kids drawing

#u could say let my kid practice but that may raise more concern idk tbh i dont know if ur supposed 2 let a kid tattoo or not? #told them they should do this with one i rly fucked up pretty bad once ngl lmaoo n they didnt respond which 😡 im serious #look me tattooing u is a 50/50 #ive done some rly good ones on me n others n ive done some questionable ones but look if u let me tattoo u i think u know ur taking that #risk ngl lol bc every time im not confident im like uhhh i can try lol n if someone says that whos about 2 tattoo u thats on u okay #bc god did i fuck up one on angel lol but another friend i gave a gr8 one n my brother got a gr8 one too n one person was my test canvas 4 #a bit so uh half n half tbh n one person fucked up their own bc i said dont get in the ocean till its healed thats not on me then ngl n i #think thats everyone ive tattooed but lol the alarming part is i actually have no idea which uhhhhh i have lots of gaps in my memory due 2 #drug abuse n just not bein real 4 months at a time lol #batbaby rambles

[rebellum]

I feel like... Perhaps... Arguing that transphobia is defined by murder and that anything other than murder doesn't even matter... May NOT be conducive to fighting for trans rights.

Like... people want the right to exist as they are. They want to have access to hrt and surgeries and prosthetics. People want access to clothes that fit them and reflect how they want to be seen. People want access to medical care (eg. Getting screened and treated for sex-based forms of cancer can be impossible if you have the "wrong" sex listed to receive those tests). People want to be respected and treated well. People want to not be sexually assaulted and beaten and abused. People want to have access to housing and jobs, and the protection to not lose those things for being trans. People want access to shelters for homeless people or survivors of domestic abuse. People want name changes.

Acting like all of those things don't matter because at least they weren't murderered by an individual (and instead die of suicide or state violence, or survive and suffer) isn't okay.

#'hey people are forcibly detransitioning you and raping and beating you and you lost your job and are going to be homeless and #probably die of infection from being stabbed for trying to go to the bathroom. but at least you arent part of a demographic that has a #higher murder victim rate! shhh just ignore that we dont actually have data on the murder rate of your group.' #do ppl like. forget state based violence exists. and that thats most violence minorities face. #idk man im just. mad about people on here acting like youre only oppressed if youre a perisex trans woman who was AMAB. #cause i exist at the intersection of multiple minorities and being told hey u experience violence but at least you wont be murdered by an #individual feels like a slap in the face. #like it doesnt matter if i have to mask my neurodivergent behaviour bc if people see they could assume im on drugs and call the police and #i could potentially be really hurt but not die but hey at least i wont die just be horrifically traumatized by police brutality! #there are millions of people with mental illnesses similar to my own around the world who are institutionalized and forcibly medicated or #living on the streets or dependant on horrifically abusive caregivers #but hey at least they arent being murdered! #like. the way the transphobia discussion on tumblr rn discusses (and doesnt discuss) race and ability and class and health makes me #feel very invisible. #like if people had to choose who to believe about my experiences between listening to me a black/mixed mentally ill maybe disabled (used to #be disabled) hella nd trans nonbinary person #or listen to a white middle class trans woman's take on my experiences that theyd choose her. its such a weird weird microcosm. #its like a monkeys paw like people are finally listening to trans fems and finally recognising the violence they experience and finally #actually caring about them but for some reason decide that in order to do that its necessary to throw every other minority under the bus #like fuck man have you seen how 'anti transandrophobia truthers' discuss race? its NOT okay #we all matter we all are so similar and are part of the same groups and same communities we need to stick together #stop using trans fems as a battering ram to hurt other minorities challenge #cause like. yes its some trans fems. but its mostly NOT? #like its non trans fems telling other non trans fems that they arent oppressed #and even when many trans fems are like what the fuck dude of course other trans ppl matter whats wrong with you #the group of like 80% non trans fems 20% trans fems are like 'hmm if you are defending other trans people you must not really be trans fem' #like. denying trans fems their identity bc they disagree with them?? dude someone doesnt stop being a trans fem cause they recognise #people other than trans fems matter and exist #its just all so WEIRD its a weird little tumblr microcosm #i wanna stress. for those of you who dont have access to other lgbtq+ communities. how much it seems to be primarily a tumblr thing. to

[girlgerard]

mommm white people on tumblr are misconstruing my posts again despite the post being entirely about how important wording is + how i don’t feel comfortable posting large statements when i haven’t fully processed them yet.

#if you want to put me on a blocklist for loving netanyahu you can! i don’t! and no matter how many times i get told i do #i still don’t! #i literally said i hope his balls get cut off IN THAT POST #i don’t know how that read as unclear. #perhaps there are no hidden genocidal messages behind the wording of my tumblr posts - who knows! #when i said i cared about every single civilian living in that land i meant it. if you decide that i actually don’t that’s not my problem #if you somehow took my words and decided that what i really meant is that i’m a government bootlicker who loves murder #you can do that all you want. it won’t make it true and it won’t help save any lives #i was in ramallah and jerusalem six months ago. have you gone? #if the answer is no maybe think about that for a second #moreover if you’re viewing this from a purely racial or religious framework you have no idea how to navigate this subject #i don’t view israel and palestine through which government i want to back. why the fuck would i do that #palestinians and jews and everyone else in that land is who i care about. i care about gazans #if that’s not enough of ‘a side’ for you i don’t really think there’s much of a conversation to be had. #do you think i wake up every day NOT thinking about gaza? do you think i wouldn’t feel nauseous every second of every day because of gaza? #do you think that within everything i’m saying that the most logical conclusion would be to post all of my thoughts on tumblr? #because if you think any of that we’re not going to have a productive conversation. i don’t take kindly to being told my own emotions

[pixelatedraindrops]

Yuma Month: Day 18: Future

“Thank you for coming... Makoto.”

“Oh come now... Discard your emotions.

You are my homunculus are you not?”

"...You are cruel for this...shouldering me with yet another burden…

Kurumi...is still looking for you..."

“I know…I’m sorry.

Tell her…my journey has been extended.”

#Yuma Month 2024 #rain code #master detective archives: rain code #whumpcode #yuma kokohead #makoto kagutsuchi #makoyuma #rain code spoilers #pixeldoodles #my art #im sorry #I didn’t have any other ideas #everyone's likely drawing happy futures #I wanted to do something different #so I went the angsty/tragic path #for the record yes I did cry drawing this #makoto is the only one he told #and he used kurumi as a means to cover up his own sadness #makoto wanted yuma dead before #but now...he doesn't want to lose him #he doesn't want a future without him in it #its even more tragic when you consider makoto's immortality #he will lose yuma eventually... forever. #be it of natural causes or outside circumstances. #and there's also his time with shinigami to take into account #as well as her possibly reducing his lifespan...by a lot #or something like that idk #its some food for thought I guess #yuma’s age is completely unknown here #long haired yuma is still not something im used to drawing

[zmediaoutlet]

Three hundred miles under the big sky, Red Lodge to Miles City and then out of Montana to Bowman. Gas at a dingy co-op, half garage and half store. Sam sits on the trunk waiting for the nozzle to click and watches Dean go to the payphone by the dusty propane display, watches him dial. Give whatever performance he feels like. His shoulders hunched up under his coat. Not that cold today but he's still wearing it.

Sam stretches his sneakers out in the gravel. Another car pulls in by the store. Older lady, hair a flash of silver when the afternoon sun gleams over it, giving Dean a weird look that he returns with a broad screw you smile when he comes back from the phone. No wonder. His face is all over bruises, like someone used him as a punching bag. Not far off.

"They going to get him?" Sam says. He takes the Coke when Dean hands it over. Glass bottles, what a time warp.

Dean finishes swigging down half of his own bottle, burps contentedly. "Cops'll find Gordon sitting in his own stank," he says, ignoring Sam's wrinkled nose. He lifts a shoulder. "Or he got out, and they'll find whatever's left in that creepy house. Blood and all. We should've left him to stew longer."

Sam drags his thumb over the glass rim before he takes a sip. Sharp caramel, freezing cold. He can't imagine Gordon getting caught. Too competent, too—vicious, effective. Sam resented the comparison to Dad but it wasn't—all that far off. Except where it really mattered.

"Just glad we don't have to deal with it," Sam says. Dean half-nods. Looking off into nothing, rubbing the edge of his cut lip. Somewhere else. "What?"

The nozzle clicks. Dean blinks. Hands his bottle to Sam and deals with the pump while Sam spins the gas cap back into place. He expects Dean to come back around to the driver side but he sits on the trunk next to Sam, instead, stretches his boots out to match Sam, his face pointed vaguely at the store but his eyes—three hundred miles in the rearview? Or further?

"Wasn't—a replacement," Dean says. Sam has no idea what he means, until he does. He bites the inside of his cheek. Dean glances at him to make sure he follows and then dips his chin, looks at the tips of his boots instead. "That wasn't it. Don't wanna get in a fight. But you—?"

"I get it," Sam says. Which is true, kinda. He half-wishes he hadn't said anything except that at least that fight had gotten Dean to crack, at least a little, from this awful manic fakery he's been dealing with, ever since they left the hospital with a body they had to burn and the weight of the world no lighter.

Dean nods, still staring at his boots. He shoves his hands into his coat pockets. Sam isn't sure Dean got it, particularly. How something could be a substitute not for the physical fact but for the feeling. There was no replacing Dad, not at all, but what Dad meant, that fog of expectations and received wisdom and a way of looking at the world, black and white, right and wrong—but then, Gordon wasn't that, quite, either. No matter how much Sam had strained against and fought with and sometimes hated their dad, he never, ever suspected him of—

"I don't know how he could do that," Dean says. Like it's pushing past some thickness, shoved out of his throat. "His sister. How could he."

"I mean, I messed up your Stones tape back in Milwaukee and you said you were going to kill me," Sam tries, but Dean just closes his eyes, a muscle in his jaw flexing. He licks his lips, drags his heels in. "I don't know. Drove him crazy, I guess. Couldn't see past the monster stuff to what mattered, you know?"

Dean shakes his head, drags a hand over his face. Flinches because he caught his bruises, the idiot. Sam transfers both Coke bottles to one hand and catches Dean's wrist, pulls it down, and Dean huffs and then looks at him sideways. God, he's tired. Sam looks at the store, through the grimed glass windows—the old lady's with the clerk at the counter, and no one else is around—and he takes the opportunity he wishes he'd had earlier and pulls Dean closer and kisses him. Very careful, closed-lipped against the hurt mouth. Dean's lips part anyway and there's the smell of Coke and the smell of blood and Sam breathes deep and then pulls back. Dean's eyes wide like that was the last thing he expected. Where has he been, Sam thinks, but he thinks it very fondly, and then he thinks that, god, he needs sleep, too. Ten straight hours preferably, in a motel room with blackout shades, his body plastered against Dean's and the two of them waking together. Knowing what matters.

Dean licks his lower lip. Looking like maybe he wants the same thing, or at least something close enough they can compromise. "Give me my Coke back," he says. Pink-eared. Sam smiles at him and carries both over to the passenger seat, with Dean bitching about, hey, who bought what for who, squatters rights ain't it. And so on. The day's bright, and brighter. The sky huge. Dean reaches over and steals Sam's bottle while they're pulling back out onto the highway and almost crashes the car, sets Sam laughing enough that he snorts Coke out his nose. "Can't take you anywhere," Dean says, affecting dignity. No, Sam thinks. He's nothing at all like Gordon.

#happy wincest wednesday #my writing #ww lottery #a random ficlet for episode 25 #when you think about what john told dean in 2.01 #it's honestly a surprise dean didn't behead gordon right then #happily sam takes his own revenge #also coke out your nose HURTS do not recommend

[pgranateseeds]

I know a lot of people want it, but I don't think we'll ever get a conversation between Sandra Lynn and any of the bad kids about what Bobby Dawn did to her.

A. It's just unnecessary. We already know the gist, we can already see the ramifications of that action, and a conversation would just be retreading already discovered ground

B. Sandra's relationship with Fig is nearly always in turmoil. Ever since seeing her offer a shoulder to Adaine when she drank heavily when it was her, Fig has been avoiding Sandra when she could. She said in the fight when Baxter arrived, "I'm not trying to see my mom right now," and they didn't talk At All when she took them to the temple ruins. If Sandra Lynn was going to talk to anyone about Bobby, it would be to Fig just bc of closeness, and that's just not happening, at least not for a while. Also i see people define Bobby's short and disastrous relationship with Sandra as sexual grooming, and i find it hard to believe that if she was groomed, she'd tell her daughter, especially not to then say "Fig You Were Groomed Too" or "Fig, Don't Trust Random Men." I think people put way too much emphasis on Fig's bits where she kissed adults in earlier seasons and said "would i know if i had sex? What if I've accidentally had sex?", like those were just jokes, the latter being a joke abt how Fig didnt understand what sex was as a 14 year old, and i don't believe it would be fun for the table if those jokes were treated with the solumn seriousness of fig then being a grooming victim. Also Fig already distrusts men, she was right about Porter and she was stalking Ruben and literally every man outside of her family that she's come in contact with, she's either bullied or investigated, she doesn't need to be told a tale about how men ain't shit

C. Bobby is just much less of an antagonistic player in this conflict than previously expected. Yeah he was involved with The Big Bad, but after the reveal, a majority of the focus shifted onto Porter, Jace, and the Rat Grinders. I don't see the next two episodes having a moment where they sit down and talk about Bobby in depth, beyond "he was/is an asshole"

#d20 fhjy #fantasy high spoilers #fantasy high junior year #sandra lynn faeth #bobby dawn #dimension 20 #fhjy #fig faeth #Twitter is...odd #bc a lot of people seem upset that a convo isn't gonna happen? #but put yourself in sandras shoes #your daughter years ago told you you were allowed to be your own person #but you know youve been fucking up #she reminds you too much of yourself and you can't take it when she comes to you with problems you also had at her age #she's avoiding you now #why would you say “hey daughter wanna hear about the time my hopes and dreams were crushed?” #“i know you already know but do you wanna go over the gory details now you have a face to the name?” #like #no #she wouldn't #maybe theyd exchange some words #but a full convo???

[kaeyapilled]

i am still not over the fact arlecchino is referred to as "father" by the house of the hearth kids btw. the gender of it all

#i cant articulate this ugh #its just. the idea that she plays not the role of mother #where nurture and compassion would typically be expected of her #but the role of father. where a more stern and i guess distant sort of love might be typically expected. Yeah #i also dont hate the fact she doesnt seem to be abusive to the kids. i know i said i wanted her to be irredeemably evil but i really dig th #s #i actually really like the direction they seem to be taking? where its like. #shes still The Fatui. shes still using orphaned kids for military missions #but she doesnt go out of her way to harm the children. id say she sort of goes out of her way to *not* do so #AGH IT MAKES ME INSANE!!!! #the fontaine siblings' voicelines about her made me utterly insane. particularly freminet's #leaks skip if u dont wanna know but when he says she doesnt like crying so he avoids shedding tears in front of her at all costs (augh) #but still will say that things got better after the house director changed and she took charge #and that she literally told him that he has to value his own life instead of prioritizing self-sacrifice for loved ones' sakes. or somethin #which i take to be good advice for freminet in particular who has some concerning suicidal tendencies going on in there #anyway yeah arlecchino i am obsessed with you #my posts

[uncanny-tranny]

In discussions about mental health, I am so tired of the only voices mattering being other people or other people who do not deal with a condition/disorder or a specific situation.

"Here's how I deal with loved ones with [x] condition!"

"If you do [y] because of [x mental health reason], you're selfish and everybody who loves you is having their lives made harder by you!"

"If your symptoms are [z], you're gross, and you deserve no sympathy for struggling"

I understand to an extent why people do this, but holy hell, as somebody who struggles and struggles often, the last thing any of us need to be told is that we're a burden that others have to carry. And it's terrible how everybody else's feelings but ours matter - even if we are the ones most affected by our condition or situation.

If you are dealing with issues surrounding your mental health and well-being, know that everything above isn't true; you are worthy of patience, understanding, kindness, and love. You are worthy of being listened to without judgment. You don't have to apologize or "make up" for who you are or what you struggle with.

#mental health #mental health advocacy #sanism #sanism tw #ableism #ableism tw #since when do we just go 'you're sick? well I'M more affected by YOUR illness than YOU are so my voice matters MORE' #i'm actually genuinely angry that people think saying stuff like that is appropriate #and when i say 'deal with' i mean when people treat those they say they love like a burden #simultaneously discussions about mental health have gotten better and have stay horrific and lack compassion or nuance #like people have more words to describe mental health but they cling to their disgust for us ~insanes~ like it's a lifeline #TW FOR MENTIONS OF SUIDIDE AFTER THIS TAG #when i actively wanted to take my life being told that i was selfish did NOT help. it made the desires STRONGER #because i had something ELSE to use to justify why my death was imperative. if i was selfish then why do i deserve others? #do you see why these discussions are harmful at *best* and can be the final factor in a decision like that? #sure. maybe those discussions alone won't be what pushes somebody to pass like that. #but it will have contributed to the demonization of mentally ill people #those discussions aren't going to save us from suicidality or something equally seen as drastic #videos like abigail thorn's cosmonaut video were actually way *more* helpful because she was compassionate #she provided compassion and empathy and was vulnerable enough to share her *own* experiences #i think i'm going to re-watch it for the....... 500th time #i'm so glad she kept her old videos up. this one is one of my favourites #heavy watch but i forever will be grateful to her and the others who helped me out of that pit

[carlyraejepsans]

I’ve started watching Utena because of you. What. Is going on

HI. WELCOME TO THE CLUB, watch the trigger warnings. but yeah, revolutionary girl utena veers more and more towards surrealism the further you get into the series. it often and voluntarily forfeits narrative/logical consistency in favor of visual storytelling, metaphors and symbolism. i was just talking about it with nic the other day, and if the story weren't so harrowing, i would recommend it to everyone who wants to get into literary analysis, because it is SO packed with symbolism EVERYWHERE that it actually encourages you to try to decode it.

whatever you think utena is about, it is NOT. you can't go in and treat it like your 49293th classical shoujo. utena is a firework show of visual symbolism and it very rarely, if ever, explains itself to the viewer. it refuses to handhold you, but it never berates you for trying and getting it wrong either. there is SO much handholding in modern day media, but utena trusts its viewer to take away something meaningful from itself and to piece its message together on their own. it's one of my favourite pieces of media of all time just for that

#it's almost closer to a poem and to poetry than to a story in the sense that we think think about today #you see why ye standard transformative fandom was never able to take hold with utena? #my suggestion is try to actively analyze what's going on and the symbols presented to you as you go along #find recurring motifs. utena deals a LOT with cycles and repetition (they were playing into their budget limitations and did it brilliantly #what objects keep returning. what characters are they associated with. how do they relate to the irl systems of power the story criticizes #what does the white rose mean #^ had a lot of fun trying to figure that one out. i landed on something other people in the fandom also got but then nic told me his take #and yeah they basically pried my third eye open with a crowbar. #this anime made me want to try out symbolism and allegories in my own works #it's so fucking good #but hey if you finish it and still feel like you didn't get 90% of that you can go to nic metanarrates' blog and check out his rgu tag #basically 50% of the fandom posts are visual and narrative analysis. the other 10% is breathtaking art. the remaining 40% is memes #BUT! wait until you're finished..watch for spoilers #rgu #answered asks