#this has quickly become my new way of wasting my time at 3am instead of sleeping

[strawhatyami]

[1] [2]

#i made more #not even sorry at this point #this has quickly become my new way of wasting my time at 3am instead of sleeping #emporio ivankov #black leg sanji #sanji #not tagging him as a vinsmoke nope #trafalgar law #monkey d. luffy #luffy #doflamingo #donquixote doflamingo #usopp #one piece #zoro #roronoa zoro #trafalgar d water law #textpost meme

[kimthwariru]

Another Day

Jungkook x Reader

Mafia au

📍This chapter includes mature content

Page 16. A quick talk

“Just so you know, I think this is a terrible idea” Jungkook took a big sip out of his beer.

It was now around 3am and most people had already left the party. After the secret meeting between you Jin and Namjoon the members reached the decision of taking you up for the job. It was not such a big deal, they just needed you to translate some voice recordings. They said the less you knew the better it was for you.

You still can’t bare the thought that these guys were in the underworld. but the scariest thing was… you still liked them. The fact that they were literally criminals did not phase you anymore. The last thing you remember was you and May dancing before Jungkook pulled you to the side, telling you he wanted to explain more about this whole thing, and now here you are, on the small balcony in front of jungkook’s room, with a man who you learned was in an organized mafia clan just a few hours ago.

“Jungkook, if you brought me all the way up here in hopes to get me to back down from this, you’re wasting your time” It was true, no matter what Jungkook was willing to tell you, you had no intentions of not getting May that 10k.

Jungkook shook his head “We’re way passed that. There in no backing down from this now anyway…” he looked at you “Y/n, you do realize what we are, right?How big this whole thing is?”

“I’m still… processing it” you sight “ gotta admit, a bit cooler than ordinary delivery men” you chuckle

Jungkook laughed “I can’t believe you’re making jokes right now”

“Better than freaking out and calling the police, right?”

“God, much much better!” he paused “You know, I was so afraid that if you ever found out what we do you’d…” Jungkook suddenly had a bleak expression on his face

“You were afraid I’d leave?”

“Yeah…” he simply said

“Don’t worry Jeon, you ain’t getting rid of me that easy” you both chuckled. It was after a minute that you realized Jungkook was literally starting at you, like it was the first time he had seen you in a while. “Everything alright?” You question his sudden silence. You don’t want to misunderstand anything, especially when it came to Jungkook. But the way he was looking at you right now made you feel something in the pit of your stomach.

“I’m sorry-I just-“ he shook his head “You’re… stunning.”

You freeze. You don’t know if you can trust your ears or not. Where was Jungkook going with all of this? “I don’t get it” you shake your head “One minute you’re making fun of me and question everything I like, and the other you’re saying things like this…”

You thought he was like this to every girl he’d met. You’ve heard how flirty he is when it comes to women he wants to get. You always thought that whenever he was getting too flirty with you, he didn’t think much of it himself. But now, this whole thing felt a bit too personal.

“Both situations is me being honest” he suddenly grabbed your waist “And the truth is, I wanna kiss you so bad right now” he leaned in, his face centimeters away from yours. You could smell the alcohol in his breath. You hated the fact that you felt your knees go week.

Was all this because he was drunk? Was he playing a game like he has done with others a million times before?

“Jungkook, you reek of alcohol…” you turn your head to the side to break eye contact.

“No no no don’t give me that” his voice low, he turned your face towards him again and you thought you’d faint if you had to look at his Greek god-like features so up close for another minute.

Especially his fucking lips.

You wanted to taste them so badly. God, you finally admit it to yourself, as much as it terrifies you, you have something for him. You’re not sure what it is yet, but there is something… and the way he was looking down at your lips made you want to bite them down so hard.

“You have no idea how hard it was sometimes”he said suddenly, his gaze shifting from your lips to your eyes again.“Doing things-things that made me feel like a fucking monster. I used to look in the mirror and not be able to recognize my reflection.” He sighted and closed his eyes for a second.

You genuinely felt bad, It’s the first time you’re seeing him so venerable. You couldn’t possibly imagine the things he had to go through at such a young age.

“I thought I could just put a mask on and be ok, but I wasn’t. Even though the mask was damn heavy, I put it on anyways. I didn’t have a choice” He opened his eyes again and looked at you. “I threw away the mask when I met you…When I was with you I felt like I was myself again. Seeing you heals me.”

You swear your heart wasn’t even beating right now. You never imagined that the simple things mattered so much to him. Sure, sometimes he was an annoying know-it-all asshole but in reality, Jungkook was the most interesting person you had ever met and you were never going to tell him, but you sort of admired him. “You deserve good things Jungkook, and I want to be one of them”

Jungkook’s lips curled up into a smile before moving one hand from your waist to the back of your head, pulling you in for a soft kiss. He didn’t use tongue at first, but he was being passionate. You felt his palm caressing your back. God, this felt right. For a moment you forget even your name, the only thing you knew were his lips and his scent.

Judging from his skills, it’s clear to you that Jungkook had a ton of experience in this field. As the kiss started becoming more heated Jungkook suddenly stopped and jerked his head back. His prominent Adam’s apple and his neck muscles were your view. “I don’t think I’ll be able to control myself.”

He leaned back down and rested his forehead on yours. You knew Jungkook was more than turned on, you had be feeling the growing bulge in his pants for a while now. “Control is overrated” you smile

He quickly grabs the back of your neck and pulls you in for a completely different kiss. This time, you felt his tongue caressing yours. It was when he squeezed your inner thigh that you realized you wanted more, a lot more. “Should we go inside?” You hint and by the way he smirked at you it was clear that he understood immediately what you meant by that.

Jungkook closed the curtains behind him and threw you on the bed carefully. When he leaned on top of you, you see him grin “God, you look like you were made to be on top of my bed…”

Hearing those words made your head spin like no amount of alcohol could. He started kissing you, his erect member rubbing against your slit. Each stroke making you more light headed “Fuck” you moan in between rough kisses “I wanna suck you so bad” you surprise even yourself by saying that, but it was true, you were too aroused, and you wanted to taste him.

“On your knees then” he panted

You did as he said and watched him as his pale, long fingers worked at his jeans. You scooted down until you were face to face with his thick erection. You wrap one hand around him and started stroking him slowly “Fuck, it’s so big” you moan before licking it from ball to tip.

Jungkook couldn’t articulate anything other than loud groans. You sucked him enthusiastically, matching him noise for noise. You paid special attention not only to his arousal, but to all that lay below as well.

“You like sucking my dick?” He basically growled the words. You could feel your panties getting wetter by the minute.

“I love it.” You try to suck it all in but it was so big it made you gag. “See? I take it all like a little slut” Dirty talking wasn’t really something you did normally, but Jungkook made your insides stir up. All you could think was his dick and how good it would feel inside of you.

“You dirty little thing” he moaned and grabbed your hair into a ponytail, making you go deeper each time. You were surprised at his self control; most guys would have already come and you would have had to start all over again to get what you really wanted. “Show me how wet you are”

You put to fingers inside of you and softly pull them out again, bringing them up to show Jungkook your juices.

He shook his head “Naughty girl, what am I going to do with you?” He leaned down “I can’t have you dripping all over my new carpet” he bit your bottom lip while you were still giving his member subtle strokes. “How about you sit on my face instead?”

His words caught you by surprise. To be honest, no one has ever offered to pleasure you this way before. You were trembling even at the idea of Jungkook’s tongue touching you down there…

“Yes..” you tried your best to keep your voice steady, but you did a poor job. Jungkook noticed

“What’s up y/n? Am I making you too excited?” A cocky expression painted all over his face. Jungkook liked having you like this. He liked having control over you. You knew it.

“Maybe…” You get up as he lays down. “I’ve never tried this before…” you admit. To be honest, your experience with sex was limited. You could count the times you had sex with one hand. Sure, you had a little more experience with foreplay, but that’s it. You were sure Jungkook was much more experienced than you, but he was making you feel comfortable. That’s what mattered.

“Just sit on my face, let me do the rest”

You do as he says, and the moment his tongue touched your clit you knew you’d have to try not to come. “Fuck” you moan unintentionally. This felt too good. As he was massaging your slit with his tongue, he started squeezing your ass cheeks hard.

At this point, you felt yourself dripping on top of him. You’ve never felt so turned on in your life before. It almost scared you how needy you were for him.

You slowly get up and lay down next to him. Jungkook stretched himself over so he could climb back on top of you. His hips hovered above yours now as he held himself out. You could feel his balls slightly touching your tummy "Damn y/n, you’re driving me crazy” He whispered, the room suddenly feeling cold as his voice sent shivers down your back.

He leaned in, giving you a soft kiss as he played with your hair. His tone quickly becoming more aggressive by the minute, when he had you pinned down completely, he took a deep breath and slowly guided himself into you…pausing for a moment, and then he pushed in, groaning against your chest.

Your breath caught in your throat as you felt his thick member fill you up entirely. His dick was so hard and it felt so freaking good. You respond by digging your fingers into his back, shrieking in enjoyment. For a moment you wandered if your nails would leave marks. You pondered if those marks would be seen by other girls as well…

“Fuck y/n, you’re so tight” he exhaled. His strokes long and steady as you were still adjusting to his size.

“Can you feel how wet I am for you?” You sputtered, wincing as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders.

Jungkook met your lips with another kiss. "I could have you like this all day” He moaned loudly as he shallowly rocked his hips against your own. You gripped one-another with every fiber willingness, panting as Jungkook pushed in deeper, skin scraping on skin. He began to move, at first only in short, shallow thrusts, gasping against your lips as he did so. Jungkook was enjoying this as much as you did, you could tell because he could not contain his loud and impassionate moans that surfaced each time he met your hips with his in a steady rhythm.

He broke away from your lips again, this time hitching one leg up over his shoulders to push himself deeper into you and the ensuing pleasure that followed was almost enough for you to completely loose all of your other senses. You swear that if somebody had asked for your name, you wouldn’t remember it. You kept moaning as Jungkook continued to drive into you. You could feel every inch of his cock inside of you and it felt great.

You forcefully bit down on the inside of your cheek to keep from crying out when Jungkook entered you all the way...”I think I’m going to come”

Jungkook leaned down again, a smirk painted all over his face “of course you are..”

God, you hate the fact that you couldn’t even argue with him. This dude was good, if he deserved to be cocky about one thing, that was definitely sex.

As he shoved his dick deeper and deeper every time, you felt the tension inside your tummy build up. You couldn’t help it anymore. You can feel your toes curl as your walls started clenching around his dick. Fuck, that felt a hundred times better than you had excepted.

You could see it on his face that he felt you coming all over for him. “What a good girl…” he gradually stopped moving and gave you another quick kiss. “My turn… where do you want me to cum?”

Fuck this dude was hot. “My mouth, please?” you quickly place your face in front of his hard dick.

Jungkook took a good look at you before stroking his cock proudly. “Are you going to swallow it like a good little slut?” He tried to say without moaning but he failed miserably.

“Every single drop of it…” you tease, still not braking eye contact. You couldn’t possibly describe how hot Jungkook looked right now. His handsome face looking down at you as he stroked his dick with his tattooed veiny hand.

“Open your mouth then” he orders and you quickly follow, sticking your tongue out. “God you look so fucking hot like this” he barely manages to say as he jerked his head back and made a loud moan, followed by his cum flying to your mouth.

You give yourself a minute before you lay back down on his bed and he does the same, laying down next to you. A silence in the room. It felt…weird. Both you and Jungkook were just laying there, naked and sweaty after having felt each other like that.

You remembered what he had told you. ‘I don’t do relationships, I just fuck’. You kind of resented yourself for allowing you to be just another one of his ‘fucks’.

Jungkook seemed to notice your enigmatic expression “What are you thinking about?” He scooted even closer to you, wrapping his arm around your shoulders

“Nothing…” you simply say without looking at him.

“Y/n” he suddenly says “I know I’m a different person to different people. Annoying to one. Talented to another. Interesting to a few. Unknown to a lot…” he paused and you took a second to look at him, his hair messy and his lips slightly stained by your lipstick. “But who am I, to you?”

His question caught you by surprise. “To me?” You repeat. “I don’t think you’re just one thing. I don’t think anyone is just one thing.”

You see him smile “Adjectives are a joke anyways…”

“Adjectives are not so bad. Without them you wouldn’t be able to describe anything.”

“You do have a point…” his chuckle slowly fading “Hey y/n, I have a question” he said all of a sudden

“What is it?”

“Have you and Tae ever… you know?”

You shake your head as a response to how ridiculous that question seemed to you “God. No. Not even close. We’re just… friends”

Jungkook closed his eyes “Thank god.” he exhaled

“Why?”

“I don’t like people touching what’s mine” he simply said leaving you speechless.

#jungkook smut #jungkook fanfic #bts smut #bts fan fiction #bts mafia imagine #bts mafia au #Jungkook #jungkook mafia au #jungkook masterlist #jeon jungkook fanfiction

[daily-commission-fear]

My genshin impact oc just putting this hear so I don’t forget anything also no tags because I’m ✨embarrassed as these are bad✨also I was super tired while doing this will do second oc in the morning also for my first one trigger warning for alcoholism smoking death and sucide

Pic crew used here

Oc name = Heiko Schleiermacher

Pronouns = he/him

Vision = cryo

Weapon = catalyst but can use a bow if forced he won’t like it though

Age = 25

Sexuality = gay

Height = 5’8

Date of birth = 23/06

Where he lives = in mondstadt and while he works in the city he lives in springevale because he enjoys the smaller crowds and the fish by the pond are calming and it’s a lot cheaper

What he does = mixer/bouncer at angles share but will work at dawn winery manor when certain people come into the city to hide

Backstory = Heiko parents moved to liyue from Fontaine when Heiko was only a child in an attempt to escape there shady past and it almost worked! For then years up until heiko was aged 15 they all lived a peaceful life then in Qingce Village then the attack happened the fatui attacked they killed both of heiko parents and his best friend who they mistook for him. It turns out heiko mum was doing some work with the fatui but when she released she was helping making a weapon that would kill thounds she ran even tho she new the fatui would kill her and her whole family for the betrayal. Heiko was walking into his house after helping his elderly nabhour paint his walls and that’s when he found the body’s burlity murder on the floor and note written by his mother in her dying moments explaining everything and that he must run away from liyue so they can’t ever work out he wasn’t killed and they got to the wrong boy and that they will always love and watch over him. That was the moment he got his vison sobbing over the body’s of the only people in the world he loved yet he had to run like they said he hung his vison around his neck using his neckless he was given for his birthday the last thing he was given from his family and ran with what little mora they had and a single photo of the 4 of them. He didn’t have to worry about his friends family as his family was all he had as he was an orphan he was pretty much heiko brother.

Heiko ran to mondstadt as quickly as he could and also changed his name to Heiko there at this point he doesn’t even remember his real name. When he got to mondstadt he was put into the orphanage and also join the knights of favonius he was desperate for revenge it being his only obsession it all he was at that point he feared getting closer to the other knights because of what happened to his friends and was extremely closed off though he did have to talk to them a lot especially Jean who was around the same age at the time because he would constantly push himself to hard and she would have to take him to the nuns to get help. But overall the rest of Heiko teen age years where just training to be a better fighter and rising in the ranks of knights while completely isolating himself from others and falling deeper and deeper into a pit of self hatred, wrath and regret he blamed himself for what happened even made himself believe it was his own fault “maybe mother could have saved herself father and him if she had got help instead of writing to me… if only I was never born”(friendship rank 10 line) and even sducidal but he promised himself he would not die until he got revenge then he could see his family again. This time was also when he discovered his love of alcohol and smoking. the edge that was taken off when he smoked and the only time he’s ever happy is when he drinks, this meant he quickly became an addict as soon as he hit 18 you would often see him at the bars drinking away the pain when the training yard kicked him out as apparently 3am is bad time for training?!

As an adult a lot changed with the fatui actually inside mondstadt Heiko was finding life harder and harder to hold back eventually aged 23 he couldn’t anymore. A fatui man was wearing his father watch he knew it was his fathers because of the graving on the side Heiko launched himself at the man using the ice in his vison to pin him to the wall and integrated him and soon found out this was the man that killed his family and ruined his life. Seething with rage Heiko killed the man just as brutally as he did to his family luckily it was in a conner of mondstadt nobody ever goes to except jean who has to work that area also his boss…Jean heard it all and is conflicted while she does think he deserve to die because of what he did (just not as painfully as that) she can’t let someone as violent and vengeful stay as a knight especially one that could cause major problems for mondstadt so while she agrees to keep It quiet because of that and because she has a soft spot for her old friend but he would have to leave the knights. Heiko accepts the deal he was having his own problems with the knights anyway not bealving there aggressive enough and way to passive letting to many foes walk all over them. But dispute this he felt so empty the knights are all he ever knew and he just got revenge yet he doesn’t feel happy he doesn’t feel like he’s done anything he still feels as empty as before so what does he do goes down to the angles share and get wasted. While walking out the door he makes the mistake (or miracle) of telling diluc that they shouldn’t look for his body. That’s right in his drunken haze he admitted that he’s going to try and commit sucide to diluc who quickly followed him to the tree in springevale where he was going to hang himself but diluc stoped him. Heiko had a panic attack and once again confessed his life story to a man he had only really known from the battle they fought together while both knights and when it was over he simply sobed into diluc chest. Diluc took pity on Heiko and offered him a job and if it came to much at the angles share that the winery is open to him as well. At the time Heiko never really questioned it to emotionally to do so tho as time goes on he never really understood why but as the next two years goes on he becomes closer to diluc something he hasn’t done for years and is curtly trying to find a reason to live and to stop his addiction before they end his life

But that’s his story and that’s where we are know with Heiko now a addict that’s trying to quite and a lost soul trying to find a reason. He finding a little bit a love in the world and as time goes on mabey he will move on from that day

[xxx-cat-xxx]

Peter Parker and Bruce Banner’s Guide on How To Make Iron Man Sleep

For @sallyidss. Happy Birthday, Sally! This is about 1% hurt and 99% comfort, or in other words, pure fluff and chicken soup. I hope you enjoy it and I hope you have a wonderful day!

Thanks to @whumphoarder for beta reading and to @maikkuax for the video game reference.

____________________

Peter wakes up to a dazzling amount of texts on Saturday morning. 

One is from Tony, sent at 3am, telling him that Bruce is sick and might not be able to help Peter with his biology project today as they had planned, but he is still welcome to drop by the tower.

Then there’s another one from Tony three hours later asking him whether he could pick up some soup while on the way; one from Bruce at 8am, telling him that Tony is sick too, but ‘he won’t admit it so just try to somehow get him to rest once you come over’; and then one more from Tony telling him to ignore whatever Bruce just told him.

Peter grins to himself while reading the texts - he can almost hear his favourite superhero couple bantering and fussing over each other. Then he gets up for breakfast with May and a shower before heading down to the corner grocery store. He gets soup (chicken for Tony and vegetable for Bruce), as well as some of the Fairtrade chocolate bars that Bruce buys for ideological reasons and Tony eats en masse because he’s got a secret sweet tooth. Peter stuffs the groceries into his school bag along with his laptop and makes his way to the tower. 

*

Tony definitely looks under the weather when he opens the door; pale and with a very clown-like red nose that is dripping constantly. 

“Hey kid, thanks for the delivery,” he jokes with a raspy voice. He takes the bag and mimics shutting the door in Peter’s face before smirking and opening it fully to let his unamused mentee in. 

“Very funny, Mr. Stark.” Peter removes his shoes and jacket and then stops, frowning. Through the hallway, he can see that the bed in the master bedroom has been demolished into what looks like a heap of firewood. “Uhm, what happened to your bed?”

“Well…” Tony interrupts himself to cough harshly into his elbow. “So, uh, we had a bit of an exciting night. Not in the fun way, unfortunately…” he trails off. “Anyway, Bruce went back to sleep after breakfast, but I thought we could head to the lab and start working on the chameleon fabric you suggested for your suit.” 

Peter is sure that working in the lab is the opposite of what Tony should be doing just now - his mentor looks even more tired than usual and the slightly glassy quality to his eyes suggests that he is running a fever - but Peter also knows that saying this out loud will only be counterproductive. 

“What if we watch a movie instead?” he suggests.

“I’m not watching a movie at eleven in the morning,” Tony protests. “We have the whole day in front of us - time to build, invent, change the world..." He flaps his hand. "All that jazz."

“Okay, okay…” Peter thinks for a second before an idea hits him. “But before we start with the suit, I do need your help with something else.”

“Now what?”

“So, Ned and I have this gaming commentary channel on YouTube where we livestream playing “The Witcher 3”? And it’s going pretty well, but Ned says he needs help developing his stage persona, you know, talking in a way that is interesting and keeps your audience engaged? So, he thought that you might give us some advice because you’ve got a ton of experience with speaking in public and all that?”

(It’s not entirely a lie - Ned and Peter have joked about getting Tony involved in order to increase their viewership, but he is pretty sure that Ned would be mortified upon hearing that Peter actually suggested it to the billionaire.)

“Wait, you and Ned are making videos of you killing virtual trolls while talking about it? And people actually watch that?”

“That’s...another way of putting it.”

“Sounds like a gigantic waste of time.” Tony scrunches up his nose. “Either I play the game myself, or I spend my downtime watching something interesting.” 

“Hey! Our last one has more than 3000 hits!” Peter defends.

“People have too much free time. Including you.” Tony points his finger at Peter before quickly covering his mouth to contain a sneeze. “But I suppose I can take a look if you really want me to…”

Peter grins. Stage one: complete.

They settle on the couch in the living room. Tony can’t suppress a small sigh when he leans against the cushions. He massages the bridge of his nose in a way that makes it clear to Peter he must be nursing a headache. 

“Hit me, kid,” he orders.

“Okay, but before we start, you need to know a few things...” Peter launches into a long-winded explanation of the game’s storyline with more than a few unnecessary details of the characters’ backgrounds. He pretends to concentrate on the screen where he walks Tony through different tutorials, but out of the corner of his eye he sees his mentor slowly sinking deeper and deeper into couch.

“...and then they bring Uma to the witcher school of Kaer Morhen,” Peter goes on as Tony tiredly attempts to follow along, his blinks growing longer and longer each time, “where Yennefer removes his curse and transforms him into Avallac'h...” 

When Peter can’t think of anything else to babble about, he starts playing their most recent video. Tony sits up a little straighter and rubs a hand over his face to concentrate. But at about the two minute mark, he stops the screen with a wave of his hand.

“So, not to be rude, but that was kind of painful, Tony declares. “You guys literally started with a 45 second explanation of why you prefer the old controller design to the new one. No wonder you’re putting people to sleep.”

Peter frowns a bit. “I mean, we weren’t that bad…” he defends. “And the new ones do kind of suck.”

“Sure, kid,” Tony huffs. He shifts position on the sofa with a sigh. “Alright, listen. It’s obvious that you two are knowledgeable about this game, but if you want to engage your audience, you’ve gotta try to establish your credentials in a way that’s still interesting and relatable. For instance, I once started a TED Talk by describing how I hacked NASA during an MIT frat party so that I could send a rocket to draw a dick over San Francisco. ”

Peter snorts at that admission. 

“See? Exactly,” Tony points out. “That’s the kind of reaction you want your audience to have - that’s called a hook, kid.” 

The longer they watch, the more Tony seems to be melting into the couch. His comments become less and less frequent, and at some point he leans his head back against the pillow, barely looking at the screen anymore. By the third video, Peter can see his mentor’s eyelids fluttering shut. 

He waits for a few minutes and then pauses the screen, just to see Tony’s eyes fly open again. “I’m listening!” he assures. 

“Yeah, I know.” Peter hides a smirk. “Just, uhm, relax a bit.”

“I see what you’re trying to do here, kid. I’m not stupid,” Tony protests nasally, stifling another sneeze, but he doesn’t make any move to get up from the couch. 

Peter starts the video again, knowing that the battle has been won. Five minutes later, Tony is asleep. 

Peter watches a few more videos on his own (now that he pays attention, he realises that most of Tony’s suggestions, despite being sarcastic, are actually in line with what the popular streamers do) before FRIDAY informs him that Bruce has woken up. 

He finds the scientist in the kitchen, making tea. 

“Hey Dr. Banner,” Peter greets. “How are you?”

“Hey Peter.” Bruce gives him a warm and slightly sleepy smile. His voice is a bit hoarse. “I’m fine. Is Tony asleep?”

“Yep,” Peter declares proudly. “Used my hypnotically soothing voice. And obscure video game lore."

Bruce heaves out a sigh. “Finally, thank god. I had, uhm… kind of an incident last night and I don’t think he slept at all after that.” 

Peter thinks back to the broken bed frame and chooses not to comment.

“Do you want some tea?” Bruce asks.

“No, thanks. I’m okay.”

Bruce takes out a box of cookies instead and hands a few to Peter. “So, what was this thing you wanted me to look at with you?”

“Oh, it’s just a bio project,” Peter says with a shrug. “But we can do it some other time, when you’re feeling better.”

“I’m okay...” Peter gives him a suspicious look and Bruce’s smile deepens. “No need for that - I’m not Tony, I would tell you if I wasn’t up for it. But I am actually feeling much better after sleeping and I wouldn’t mind some distraction.”

“Okay, well then...”

Peter likes Bruce a lot. It took him a while to get close to him because Bruce is not a person who easily lets people in, but now whenever Peter visits the tower, he looks forward to seeing the scientist almost as much as he does to seeing Tony. 

Tony is brilliant, energetic, and funny, and he constantly encourages Peter to think deeper, work harder, do better - to improve himself. Which is a fun challenge, but it can also be quite exhausting at times. Working with Bruce is the exact opposite. He makes Peter feel calm, slows him down when he overthinks, and makes it clear that mistakes are something that happen to everyone and nothing Peter should be too concerned about. While spending time with Tony is the equivalent of a rollercoaster ride, being with Bruce feels more like a calm day at the beach, and Peter has realised that he needs both from time to time. 

They move to Bruce’s study (since Bruce doesn’t allow food in his lab and they don’t actually need to do any experiments for Peter’s project) with Peter’s laptop, biscuits, and several bars of Fairtrade chocolate. 

*

Tony wakes up with the blurry images of a nightmare still on the rims of his consciousness. He feels cold, achy, and slightly out of breath. It takes him a few disoriented moments to realise that his face is mostly buried into a couch pillow, blocking his mouth and nose. He frees himself and sits up stiffly, wiping at his slightly damp cheeks. His nose is dripping annoyingly and he isn’t sure whether that’s only because of the cold. 

“FRIDAY?” he prompts nasally. 

“It is 1:17pm on Saturday afternoon. Dr. Banner and Mr. Parker are working in the study room. Everyone is safe and well, boss.” 

“Okay. Thanks, FRI.” Tony takes another few moments to ground himself before getting up from the sofa, rather unsteadily. His body seems to have tripled in weight and his head feels like an overfilled balloon that’s ready to burst. He kind of wants to fall back onto the couch and go to sleep again, but at the same time he definitely doesn’t want to revisit the dreams he just had. 

Instead, he ventures into the study where he finds his partner, who is sporting an adorable bedhead, together with his mentee enthusiastically modelling a DNA strand on a laptop screen.

“Coffee?” Tony asks hoarsely.

“Good afternoon to you too, Tony,” Bruce smirks and nods towards a pot sitting on the table. Tony pours himself a mug and downs it in one go, marvelling at how much better it makes his throat feel immediately. 

Feeling slightly more human and ready to deal with the actual world, he leans over Bruce’s shoulder and nuzzles his head against his partner’s ear. “How you feeling, green bean?”

“I’m much better. Sleeping helped a lot, actually.” Tony gives him a critical once-over and seems to accept that. “Peter is doing an impressive job with his project, by the way,” Bruce adds.

Peter blushes at the compliment. “It’s not me - Dr. Banner is helping me a lot!” 

“I’m really just sitting here and watching you work,” Bruce dismisses before addressing Tony again. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m”—Tony’s voice breaks in the middle of the sentence and he has to clear his throat before continuing—“I’m good.”

“Mm-hmm.” Bruce raises an eyebrow. “FRIDAY, what’s his temperature at?”

“100.2 degrees, Dr. Banner.”

“Thanks.” He turns to Tony, who is coughing again. There seems to be a brick stuck inside his chest and it feels like he can’t take a full breath at all. Bruce gives him a concerned look. “This sounds painful.”

“‘S okay,” Tony dismisses.

“Maybe you should try using the inhaler -”

“Stop mother-henning, Bruce,” he grumbles with a glance at Peter, who is very clearly trying to act as if he isn’t listening to every word, but the pain in Tony’s chest is suddenly replaced by a surge of warmth upon realising Bruce’s worry about him. The scientist seems to understand and just squeezes Tony’s hand before turning back to the screen.

Tony pours himself another cup of coffee and grabs a slice of toast as well as two of the chocolate bars before settling into the chair across from the two of them, munching away and watching them work. Seeing them together leaves him with an annoyingly sappy feeling. Bruce, usually rather shy, is much more self-confident around the kid and visibly happy about Peter’s genuine interest in everything scientific. He is also a much more patient teacher than Tony ever manages to be, which seems to be putting Peter at ease. 

After finishing his food, Tony debates moving to his own lab to get some actual work done, but he is so, so tired, and everything kind of hurts. Standing up seems like a lot of effort. So instead, he crosses his arms on the table and rests his head on top of them, closing his eyes for just a moment.

He listens to Peter and Bruce when their conversation shifts from Peter’s project, to May’s new vegan disaster recipe, to the idea of using Peter’s webs in order to create a hammock that can hold the Hulk. Tony smiles into his sleeves, imagining Hulk chilling at the beach between two palm trees, swinging to and fro, to and fro, to and...

“Hey.” Bruce rests his palms lightly on Tony’s shoulder.

He jerks upright. “Wasn’t asleep.”

“What, I would never think that,” Bruce says with a smirk. 

Tony rubs his tired eyes and then his aching forehead. “Where’s Peter?”

“He went to heat up the soup for all of us.”

“Hmm.” Tony grabs Bruce’s hands and presses them against his overly warm cheeks, enjoying the cooling feeling they provide.

“Did you have a nightmare earlier?” Bruce asks, his hand now moving up to cup Tony’s forehead. “You seemed kind of out of it.”

“Yeah,” Tony admits, leaning into the touch. “I don’t remember what it was about, though.”

Bruce hums and presses a light kiss to the top of Tony’s head. “Fever dreams are awful. But at least you didn’t break any furniture upon waking up.”

Tony, sensing the guilt below the light tone, only huffs. “I’d been wanting to get a new bed anyway for a while now. Did you know there are self-making ones now? And levitating mattresses? Or we could go for one of those free-swinging beds, to match Hulk’s upcoming hammock.” 

Bruce smiles and shakes his head. “A normal one would do, Tony. Or we could try something different. Did you know that sleeping on the ground is actually quite good for your back?”

Tony snorts. “Yeah, no. I’m a billionaire, Brucie, we’re not sleeping on the ground because our bed is broken. Levitating one it is.”

Peter comes back with the steaming soup, which does wonders for Tony’s raw throat. At Bruce’s advice, he takes some Advil that muffles his headache a little and remembers the times a few years ago when he would be sick with only JARVIS as his company, feeling a little chilled and very lucky. 

*

In the end, Tony does agree to watching TV, but mostly because Bruce admits to still not feeling up for anything more demanding (which Peter suspects is not entirely true, but he definitely won’t call him out). They let Peter pick, who of course goes for the newest Orville episode, and settle on the huge living room couch with a steaming mug of tea (Bruce), a packet of chocolate (Tony) and another helping of soup (Peter). 

Peter notices after a while that Bruce is gently massaging Tony’s head, playing with his hair. Tony seems to be sort of melting into the touch, his head leaning against Bruce’s shoulder, eyes almost closed. He looks old, but not frighteningly so - more in a serene way that makes Peter want to capture the moment on film. 

In the years he’s known him, Peter has rarely seen Tony anything but buzzing with energy, jumping to and fro between ideas and lab tables. The only person who is able to slow him down and occasionally get him to take a break without having to outright trick him into it seems to be Bruce. And as sorry as Peter is to see both of them sick, it’s also heartwarming to observe how they are taking care of each other. 

Peter knows that most people his age find the idea of spending a lazy movie Saturday with their family kind of boring, but something in him loves the idea of settling down like this. Maybe it’s the fact that it reminds him of how it used to be with Ben and May, or that the time he spends as Spider-Man is already adventurous enough, or the sheer thrill of seeing Iron Man and the Hulk’s alter ego in their pyjamas on the couch, nuzzled up against each other. 

But whatever it is, there’s nowhere else Peter would rather be.

____________________

If you liked this, make sure to check out @twentyghosts‘ beautiful fic Cold, Comfort with a similar setting that inspired me to write this one.

All my fics

Taglist: @toomuchtoread33  @yepokokfine

@badthingshappenbingo This is my fill for the ‘Common Cold’ square.

#sick tony stark #science bros #science boyfriends #irondad #sickfic #tony stark #bruce banner #peter parker #chocolate #common cold #fanfic #it was so hard to find a title for this

[odaatlover]

I know you're not shy about your weight loss so I was wondering if you can give any advice or tips on starting a weight loss journey. I work odd hours and going to a gym isn't feasible money wise. I know part of losing weight is eating right but idk how to, especially on nights I work late and grabbing a burger at McDonald's at 3am and passing out is easier than cooking.

OKAY, so this is a subject that I’m very passionate about so I’m about to info dump all over the place. Just a head’s up! 😂 

I just want to start by saying that your mindset about weight loss and getting healthy is very important. There’s this guy who is a fitness coach named Jordan Syatt, and he has this motto called “you can’t fuck up” (YCFU). Meaning, the only way you can fail is if you quit. It doesn’t matter if you get off track for a day, a month, a year, whatever…as long as you get back on, you didn’t fuck up. That’s such an important mentality to have about it because often people will go on vacation, have a good time eating whatever they want, get back home and weigh themselves, and then when they see that they’ve gained weight they feel like they failed and then say “well, I’ve already messed up this much, might as well just screw it and continue eating whatever I want” and then they make it worse, when in reality all they had to do was get back on track as soon as they got home. I just went on vacation for a week, and I ate things like pizza, donuts, chips, you name it! Of course I also had healthy foods because that’s what I was craving, but during the times when we wanted to eat out, we weren’t as restrictive with ourselves. And we had a good time. And now that I’m home, I’m back to eating my regular foods. In fact, I was even craving my grilled salmon and broccoli that I love having for dinner lol. Did I gain weight? Heck yeah! But I didn’t fuck up, because I got back on track. And that’s what matters. In the past, I would’ve freaked out seeing that number on the scale go up (which honestly most of it was water weight anyways from all the sodium) and I would’ve just said “Ah well screw it, what’s the point.” and gained more weight. But this time around with this mentality of YCFU, I felt more at ease and it actually made it easier to get back on track. And I’m still craving the healthy foods over the ones that’ll make me feel sluggish and bloated!

My advice on how to start: As Nike says, Just do it. I know that sounds so simple, but honestly, it is. Often people will wait for this burst of inspiration or motivation, but if you wait around for that to come along then you’ll just be wasting time you could’ve spent bettering your health. Start now. It’s going to suck at first, you’re not going to want to do it, but you know what? Life is full of doing things that we don’t want to do. But you’ll begin to see results, and then those results will give you the motivation you seek. So, action. results. and then motivation to reach your goals. It’s not going to suck forever; only in the beginning. Then you’ll get to a point where it just becomes habit and you start to do it because you want to, not because you feel like you have to. And that mindset of “wanting to” as opposed to “being forced to” is so incredibly important for success.

As for where to start: 100% start with your eating habits. You don’t have to change everything right away. In fact, you shouldn’t. Some people start by going from eating fast food every day to completely changing to a raw vegan diet and running at the gym for 5 hours every day. Going to the extreme right at the start like this will only set you up for failure, because you’ll get burnt out and want to give up. Instead, change little things at a time and give yourself room to progress. Do you drink a lot of calories? (i.e. sodas, juices, Starbucks fraps, etc.) If so, start with changing that. Try cutting that stuff out and drink water instead. Or at least switch to zero calorie drinks. They’re not the healthiest, but they’re better than regular sodas, and you’ll be cutting out so many calories you probably didn’t even realize you were consuming. Most people lose at least 5 lbs just from that! So maybe do that the first week, then maybe the next week you can start switching other parts of your diet. Maybe that even means getting McDonald’s twice a week instead of every day, and making your own meals the rest of the time. Or maybe it’s cutting out fast food completely, but making homemade burgers. Just don’t feel like you have to change everything right away, because weight loss is a marathon, not a sprint. Those who lose weight quickly are more likely to gain it back. Ever seen The Biggest Loser? Prime example of this. It’s a lifetime commitment, not “oh I’ll eat healthy now and then when I reach my goal weight I can go back to eating McDonald’s all the time”.

I don’t like “fad diets” like Atkins, Weight Watchers, keto, etc., simply because they’re not sustainable. They’re meant to jump start weight loss, not to be something you do for the rest of your life. Most people who do these kinds of diets get bored or tired of it and they stop, but they don’t have any knowledge about the foods they’re eating and revert back to old habits. I’m not saying these diets aren’t good, because they can actually be really good tools for starting. But they’re beneficial ONLY if you understand why these diets are helping you lose weight. Knowledge is the most important tool here. Everyone knows that cake isn’t that good for you, but do you know why it’s not that good for you? Read food labels, learn about your body and how many calories you burn throughout the day, find which foods make you feel better versus ones that make you feel sluggish, and understand why. Do you know how much a serving size is of the food you’re eating? Do you know which foods have high protein? Do you know which fruits have a higher water content (apples, oranges, etc.) and will make you feel fuller longer than starchy fruits (bananas)? You can learn this without these diets quite easily. Which by the way, I’ve never done any kind of diet like that. In the end, you want something that’s sustainable. If you’re eating foods that you hate, that’s not sustainable. If you’re eating low carb or no carb, that’s not sustainable. Fitness and health doesn’t end when you get to your goal weight, it’s a lifetime kind of deal. So you have to find foods that you truly enjoy eating in order to make it sustainable. But knowledge, and applying that knowledge, is extremely important.

MEAL PREP IS YOUR BEST FRIEND. Nobody wants to cook dinner after a long day of work. I sure as hell don’t. So take some time on the weekends or days off to prepare your foods for the week. Put them in to-go containers so that all you have to do is pop them in the microwave when you get home. Things like casseroles and stews you don’t have to put in containers, but are still pre-made and can be popped in the microwave. There are also foods that don’t need much cooking, like tuna sandwiches or frozen veggies. Snacks that are easily accessible like berries or greek yogurt are good too. But if you know you’re going to go for the bag of chips over fruits, then don’t have them in the house. My wife and I are both the type who will eat an entire bag of chips or box of cookies in one sitting. So we don’t buy them. And if we do want chips or cookies, like really craving it, then we’ll get one of those individual ones from the gas station. But we won’t buy full bags or boxes. If they’re not in the house, they’re not an option. If you live with a partner, then having them on board with this is very important. I would not be able to do this if my wife bought cookies and chips all the time. We’re both on the same page, and that’s necessary. When I moved back home with my parents after college they had all kinds of bad stuff, and I couldn’t stay away from it. So I bought my own foods and used the mini fridge we had and had my own shelf on the rack by the wall so that I never opened the fridge or the pantry to even see what they had bought because it was too tempting. This can help if you have a partner who is not on the same page as you.

McDonald’s sounds appealing not only because it’s fast and easy, but because it tastes so damn good. And anybody who says it doesn’t is a liar lol. Because if it didn’t taste good, then they wouldn’t be making millions of dollars. Foods like that (Oreos, cereals, crackers, anything processed) are made to taste so good that nothing from the ground can replicate that taste or be as good. And that’s a dangerous thing, because that’s how they hook you. If you eat an Oreo and then eat a strawberry, you better believe that the strawberry is not going to taste as sweet! But the good news is, you can change your tastebuds to crave healthy foods. I don’t eat oreos, and strawberries taste pretty amazing to me and I crave them often. When grocery shopping, stay away from the middle aisles! That’s where all of the tempting processed stuff will be. Stay on the outsides. Again, it’s going to suck at first, but I promise you’ll begin to crave those healthy foods over fast food. But you just have to start!

As far as fitness goes, you don’t need a gym membership to lose weight. If you want one, I highly recommend Planet Fitness because it’s only $10/month (with a $29 startup fee and $39 annual fee), but you don’t need a gym membership. I go to the gym, not to help me lose weight, but so that I’m active. I do it to get stronger and to help me from getting winded going up one flight of stairs. Or so that if something attacks me I can run away. Or to help my back problems. But I don’t factor my fitness into my losing weight, because most of your calories burned come from everything else. I don’t even count how many calories I burn at the gym, because I just really don’t care. Eating healthy helps you lose weight, and going to the gym only speeds up that process a little. If you want to be more active, you can start by walking. I walk 30 minutes around the neighborhood everyday, and I absolutely love it. It helps clear my head. Whatever fitness thing you do, make sure it’s something you enjoy. If you hate running, don’t run. If you hate cycling, don’t go cycling. If you hate weight lifting, then don’t do it. But if you like yoga, then do that. Life isn’t meant to be grueling, so find something you enjoy that will benefit your health, because there’s something out there for you!

And the last thing I want to say is, don’t let the scale be your only tool to measure your weight loss. In fact, I don’t even like to call it “weight loss” but rather “fat loss” or “getting healthy”. Sure, use the scale every once in a while to see overall progress, but your weight fluctuates all the time. And muscle weighs more than fat. I’ve had times where I actually gained a pound or two, but I looked slimmer. Use other ways to measure your progress, such as how your clothes fit or by taking pictures of yourself and comparing those. But if you only use the scale, you’ll be disappointed because it won’t be a consistent drop in numbers, no matter how clean you eat and how much you exercise. That’s just how the human body works; it fluctuates because of things like water retention, not getting enough sleep, being stressed, etc.. If the scale hasn’t moved but you’re feeling better and clothes are starting to fit better, then you’re on the right track!

Whew. I know that was an excessive amount of information, but I wanted to share the most important things with you because feeling good about yourself is so important. This is all based on what I believe, and the most important thing is finding what works best for you! If you have any other questions, feel free to send me a DM or another ask, and I’ll gladly answer them! You can do this! 💪

#health advice #asks

[minstrivia]

So, every jealous!bts scenarios are always with men, but how would they react when a girl is trying to get in their s/o pants?

hope you like it. xx

⋆

「 K I M  S E O K J I N」

Jin can see it while he’s walking towards them, he can see all the tell-tale signs, the way the girl’s torso leans slightly forwards giving Y/N her undivided attention. He can see it when the girls speaks, she’s touching Y/N almost excessively so, hands coming down to smooth over Y/N’s thighs, arm and shoulder. And he can see it rooted in the girls’ eyes, they way they look completely entranced when Y/N’s lips tug into a beautiful laugh or smile and the way they travel over her figure constantly as if they were trying to commit Y/N to their memory.

Jin can see it all and he can see exactly what’s happening. He knows the natural effect Y/N has on other people, her ability to have someone interested in everything she says and does is almost too good to be true— he knows this all too well.

And he feels like he’s going to have to warn the poor girl before she becomes too enraptured. He clears his throat to make his presence known, placing the two wine glasses on the table, one for him and one for Y/N before sliding into his previous chair.

“Sorry I took so long,” he says under his breath, curling his arm around Y/N’s waist and kissing her cheek lightly. He flits his eyes to the girl who’s brows are bumping together in a frown momentarily before fixing his gaze back to Y/N. “Who’s this?”

“Oh, while you took so long. I made a new friend. Her names Ellie,” Y/N rambles excitedly. “She tells me she’s a dancer.”

“Oh really?” Jin gives Ellie a lacklustre smile, leaning back onto his chair casually and boxing his ankle over his thigh. “Well Ellie, I’m Jin. Y/N’s boyfriend.”

「 M I N  Y O O N G I」

It’s as if he’s not there, as if somehow Y/N’s forgotten Yoongi’s entire existence because of the girl she met not too long ago. Sure he’d told her that he was busy and tired and that he would rather her not speak to him— which he admits was a tad bit too far. But he hadn’t actually meant it like that, she had to know that.

And instead of concentrating on whatever Namjoon’s saying, he observes suspiciously as Y/N laughs loudly for the fifth time in the past two minutes at something the girls said. Her eyes disappear into thin slits and her head tips back slightly. It’s exaggerated and it’s frustrating.

He knows she’s doing this to spite him, but really, out of everyone she picks one of their makeup artists, the one he knows talks about her excessively, and even worse Yoongi’s favourite one— Well was, not anymore, not after this.

But it’s not until Y/N’s sinking her teeth into her bottom lip, brushing a strand of hair from the girls face and tucking it behind her ear that he’s really had enough. His fingers dig into the palms of his hands, knuckles becoming pale at the feat. “Excuse me for a sec,” he rushes out, not waiting for another beat before he finds himself stomping determinedly towards Y/N.

She knows he’s coming as well, and she knows she’s succeeded in pissing him off, the barely-there smirk dangles of the side of her lip and if it wasn’t for the fact that he knows her too well he would have missed it. He clamps his fingers down on her arms roughly, hard enough to break bruises of his fingerprints on the surface before dragging her off to the side.

“What do you think you’re doing?” He seethes between gritted teeth, jerking her forcefully closer to him so her chest pressed against his. “Tryna get yourself in trouble are you?”

Y/N lifts her shoulders in a nonchalant shrug, attempting to step away from him but his grip on her is vice-like and she can barely move an inch. “Thought you told me to stay out your way.”

“I did,” he says. “I didn’t say flirt with my makeup artist.”

“She came up to me first.”

「 K I M  N A M J O O N」

Namjoon’s not even mad, Y/N’s so pretty he already expects things like this to happen. So no, he’s not mad at all— actually it’s the furthest thing he'd use to describe his mood. In fact, he’s having to shift his trousers around every so often, altering his weight on the balls of his feet to not make it obvious exactly what kinds of things he’s imagining right now. The girl Y/N’s talking to is pretty— not as pretty as Y/N of course but she’s more than alright. Alright enough that he’s creating scenarios with the both of them in his bed and he wouldn’t mind just watching it happen.

And it’s like Y/N already knows as if somehow she’s reading his mind because she stares him right in the eye, whispering something in the girls’ ears and pointing right at him. He quickly looks away to make it seem like he wasn’t watching at all and when he returns his gaze, Y/N’s sauntering towards him, the girl following in tow.

“Noticed you looking at me,” Y/N says, an impish smirk playing at her lips as she bats her eyelashes, hands conjoined behind her back. “What can—” She glances behind her momentarily. “Anne and I do for you?”

Namjoon lets out a deep chuckle. She’s playing one of her games again, the ones she normally does to tide herself over at the evening galas. And she’s getting him involved in it too. “I don’t know,” He answers arching a sly brow. “You tell me.”

Y/N takes a step closer to him, fingers encircling his bicep and mouth brushing across his lobe. “I’ll do anything you want baby.”

Namjoon stills. He knows she’s not at all lying but he also knows she’s testing him. “You’re crazy.”

She scoffs, smacking his arm playfully. “And you’re a pervert.”

Namjoon shrugs nonchalantly, flitting his eyes from Y/N to the girl then back again. “Don’t lie though, it’d be hot.”

「 J U N G  H O S E O K 」

Not even ten minutes. Hoseok hasn’t left Y/N for up to ten minutes and already she seems to have gotten herself into a situation. He knows this because as he’s talking with Yoongi, she keeps boring her eyes into him determinedly, a pleading look tugging at her forehead and lips as some girl he’s vaguely seen before talks to her.

He’s deliberately ignoring Y/N though, a small smirk on his lips as he notices her feet tapping impatiently on the ground as she gets more and more desperate. He’s not really sure as to what they could possibly be speaking about but he’s sure Y/N can deal with it herself.

“Congratulations,” Yoongi cajoles, lofting his glass in the air. “The hixtape is still doing incredibly well.”

Hoseok’s brows pull into a frown as he looks at Yoongi. “I still don’t understand why people are calling it that.”

“Well it’s actually quite simple, the—” Yoongi pauses suddenly and Hoseok watches as his face screws up into utter confusion. “What’s Y/N doing?”

“What?” Hoseok turns his attention to Y/N once again and this time the girls face is impossibly close to Y/N’s as she tries to inch away slightly.

And he doesn’t waste any time in taking quick long-legged strides over. “What’s going on here?” He asks and Y/N stands to her feet quickly, positioning herself right next to him.

The girl glances up with a huff, leaning back into her seat as if she’d been disturbed. “And who are you?”

“Her boyfriend, so back off.”

「 P A R K  J I M I N 」

Y/N and Jimin had decided to go out to the beach today, learn how to surf and hopefully actually succeed. Because they’ve both been going on for the longest time that they’ll learn how to do it but they never get round to it. So there literally isn’t a better time to do it than today where the suns out and it’s nice and warm, plus it’s the perfect type of windy for surfers.

And Jimin was enjoying the guide— was. He was enjoying it until the surfing instructor started to get full on handsy with Y/N. There’s not a time where Jimin can properly say the girls definitely got her hands off of Y/N and it’s even worse because she’s whispering in her ear as if she were only trying to teach Y/N and Jimin wasn’t standing as clueless as ever.

But it’s not until she’s jogging away to get something quickly that Jimin uses the time to express his mind. “Should I be worried?” He asks.

Y/N frowns, practising her stance as she looks at Jimin. “Worried about what?”

“The way the instructor is all over you like she can’t wait to get you alone.”

“I think it’s actually quite nice,” Y/N replies matter-of-factly.

“What?”

“Yeah, whenever we leave the house people are normally all over you.” She shrugs. “I don’t know, it feels nice that it’s the other way around.”

「 K I M  T A E H Y U N G 」

It’s not uncommon for Taehyung and Y/N to find themselves at this particular 24/7 coffee shop just around the corner from their apartment at unspeakable times. And they come here so often that even the staff know them well. So with that said, it’s not out of the ordinary that they’ve found themselves here again at 3am in the morning because Y/N had a sudden craving for a chai cream frappuccino.

“Hello, how can I help you?” The girl says a bright smile stretched onto her face besides the hour.

“Erm, can I get a frappuccino please,” Y/N says, a little yawn leaving her lips as she tugs onto her— well Taehyung’s hoodie. “A chai cream one. Grande.”

“Anything else?”

“Erm…sorry can I also get a butter croissant,” Y/N adds before glancing back. “Tae?”

Taehyung watches the girl cautiously, her eyes are mostly fixed on Y/N as if he weren’t even there and even when she speaks she just avoids eye contact. He’s never seen her before so he decides she must be new. “Yeah,” He drags. “Just a classic tall hot chocolate for me.”

“Alright.” The girls’ bright smile is back as she looks directly at Y/N again. “And erm…can I just say that I think you’re really pretty.”

“Me?” Y/N frowns. Her hair is tied messily on her head into a bun, she’s sure she’s got dark circles under her eyes after too many of these kinds of nights and she’s just dressed in Taehyung’s jumper which practically swallows her. So pretty is probably the furthest thing she’d use to describe herself.

The girl nods and flits her eyes to Taehyung quickly. “Yeah, your eyes are really nice.”

“Oh well, thanks.”

A picture of the faintest smiles lingers on the girl’s lips as if she’s happy she’s said that as she taps against the luminous screen. “That’ll be 14.99.”

Taehyung watches the girl as cautiously as ever, wrapping his arms around Y/N’s shoulders to tuck her into his side as he pays. And there’s something about the way she scribbles on the receipt before forcing it into Y/N’s hands, rushing out for them to be seated, that makes Taehyung that bit more suspicious.

“Lemme see that,” he murmurs as they walk to the nearest booth, plucking the receipt out of her fingers. And just as he’d thought, scribbled in the back is a neat call me with her digits under. “Christ Y/N, I think you’re going to have to wear trash bags everywhere you go.”

She smiles lazily. “Why?”

“Because you’re too god damn beautiful.”

「 J E O N  J U N G K O O K 」

Jungkook’s close enough to hear Y/N’s conversation pretty well. Not that he’d admit he’s eavesdropping— but he is. Ever since he’d found Y/N cooped up in the kitchen instead of hosting— like he’s doing all night— for their home warming party.

Jungkook recognises the girl Y/N’s with as one of her friends, he’s definitely seen her in more than a few photos and if his memory serves him correctly she’s definitely called Fiona. And right now he’s questioning how much he likes Fiona as well.

“You know I’ve always liked you Y/N…as more than just a friend. And you know I’ll never lie to you.”

Y/N laughs nervously, fidgeting with their fingers. “Yeah I know, but I’m happy with Kook.”

“Well, I just think you’re rushing this,” Fiona says almost sympathetically. “You’re still young and most importantly so is he. I wouldn’t be surprised if he doesn’t stay faithful to you.”

“Okay conversation over,” Jungkook interrupts finally making his presence known. “I need to talk to my fiancée.” He signals Fiona to leave with a tilt of his head. “Privately.”

And it’s not until she’s properly out the room that Jungkook slumps down on one of the stools, dragging Y/N between his legs with his arms crossing over at the top of her ass.

He sighs with a sullen shake of his head. “Why does everyone still doubts my ability to make you happy?”

“Maybe because they don’t know how well you fuck me and how much I love your cock.”

“Fuck Y/N, I’m trying to be serious here,” He presses, everting his lips out in a pout. “I thought that when I finally put a ring on your finger this would stop.”

Y/N shrugs, raking her fingers through his hair. “Don’t blame me. I told her at least twenty times that I’m incredibly happy. She didn’t want to hear it.”

“No no I’m definitely blaming myself—” His palms smooth over the rounds of her ass as he places a quick kiss on her collarbone. “—should have locked you in our room like I wanted to. Keep you all to myself.”

#bts reactions #kpop reactions #reaction #bts jungkook #jungkook #jungkook x reader #bts jin #jin #jin x reader #yoongi #bts yoongi #yoongi x reader #bts suga #suga #suga x reader #suga x you #bts namjoon #namjoon #namjoon x reader #namjoon x you #kim namjoon #rm #rm x reader #bts rm #hoseok #bts hoseok #hoseok x reader #bts jhope #jhope x reader #bts jimin

[siobhanwolff-blog]

Through The Dark

The biggest of thank you’s to @superpupdanvers for being an angel and beta reading this. I love her so much!

TW: graphic violence, mentions of sexual assault and abuse. Proceed with caution. 

May 9th, 3am —  Las Vegas, Nevada.

Being a superhero is nothing like how they depict in the movies. But sometimes, it is like in the movies— having to fight off super villains in order to protect the city you love so much.

Phoenix was quite possibly the most dangerous supervillain Shade had ever encountered. She also happened to be one of the first he’d fought. She got her jollies on creating chaos and making Shade feel helpless.

An apartment building was on fire and Shade’s intangibility was next to useless against the heat of the flames. He can walk through solid objects with ease but he isn’t immune to temperature and the flames licking at his intangible skin still hurt like hell. He had gone in and out countless times, his head dizzy and lungs burning from inhaling so much smoke. In the building for what could be the eight or twentieth time, Shade grabbed up a small boy in his arms whose pulse was dangerously slow.

And that’s when the backdraft hit, sending Shade flying through the explosion and debris. So many people died when the apartment complex went down, so many people he should have been able to save.

But usually, on ordinary days, it’s nothing like that.

Most nights being a superhero just means rescuing a guy from a potentially deadly mugging, or walking a crying girl who was just beaten by her boyfriend to a women’s shelter. Most nights it is just sitting in a garbage-scented alleyway and comforting someone before walking them home. Shade spent most of his nights just walking people home and being a shoulder to cry on. Because wasn’t a guy in a mask who offered his time a patience better than no one at all?

She looked barely eighteen, stumbling down the alley, being backed up by a large brute of a man. The girl was clearly a prostitute, wearing a tight dark grey dress that left little to the imagination and more makeup than was healthy for her skin.

“I told you to leave me alone,” she had said, on the verge of hysterics as he pushed her against a wall. The guy was massive, tall and easily twice Shade’s weight in muscle alone. He would had have to take him down quickly and quietly.

Shade skimmed down the side on the building he’d been sitting on the roof of. Keeping himself cloaked in the shadows, he silently approached. The guys hand was sliding up under the hem of girls dress now, muttering filth into her ear as she shook. Shade had to lean up on his tiptoes to be able to press his hands over the brutes eyes, whispering a soft “go to sleep”. The man screamed and crumpled as the darkness, cold and unforgiving, pulled him into unconsciousness.

Her name was Isabelle and Shade sat with her in the disgusting alley for an hour, rubbing her back and handing her tissues that he kept in one of his utility belt pockets. When she’d finally calmed down, he offered to walk her home.

And then there were nights that are purely sickening. Nights that left Shade drained and crying himself to sleep. Those were the nights he would much rather be risking his neck fighting other supers. Because those are the nights he’s cleaning a dead man’s blood from his spandex suit, or finding the body of a child tossed to the side like nothing, holding the hand of a dying rape victim he was to late to save, or watching someone commit suicide by jumping from several floors up. He saves lives, but those are the nights he feels like he has failed his city.

Shade didn’t know how a drug bust had turned into this. He had already called the cops, which was definitely his mistake. He was young, hadn’t figured out that he needed to call after he’d knocked out the thugs. But as soon as the cops showed up, all hell broke lose. Two of the cronies took off, but the guy that appeared to be in charge started shooting. Instinct kicked in and Shade let the bullets buzz through him harmlessly. And turn a cop into swiss cheese instead. He was close enough for Shade to grab before he hit the ground. He held the officer in his lap, pressing uselessly at the wounds to slow the gush of bright red blood. He died within seconds. His labored breath stopping and body going slack in Shades arms.

Those are the nights he wishes he could erase from his memory. But the spackle of a hostages brains isn’t something easily forgotten. The world is so, so fucking cruel. And Shade is just trying to help— trying to protect innocent people from what he sees every goddamn night. And that would be a hell of a lot easier if the police weren’t always trying to put him behind bars.

Which is exactly why Shade was running down unfamiliar streets. His breath huffing out of his lungs in harsh pants, heart beating like it was trying to break its way out through his ribs, and boot-clad feet pounding against the pavement. Even on awful nights, this was the worst part of what he did. Running from the cops for hours when he could instead be helping people. When they could be helping people. Instead they were just wasting time, time that could mean the difference if someone lives or dies. But the police weren’t saving anyone— they are chasing Shade. Even if they ever got close enough to him to actually cuff him, he would simply slip away. He was a shadow, and that’s what shadows did. Just disappeared in the buzzing nightlife of Las Vegas.

Bullets whizzed harmlessly through him— into his back and out of his chest, straight through his head to lodge uselessly into brick walls. It was as if he really was made of shadows, completely untouchable.

He rounded a corner that was more tall buildings than flashing excitement. He faded into the dark. Melted back against a wall, becoming apart of the shadowy darkness. He couldn’t do this in the center of the city buzz. Everything moved so quickly in Vegas, and people would notice if a shadow against a wall stopped moving. Shade had made this mistake when he was younger, first figuring out how to be a vigilante of such a busy city. He had taken a bullet to the shoulder for his ignorance. Shade was smarter know.

He watched silently as five police officers and a German Shepard rounded the corner in search of him. He held his breath fearing the smallest puff of air would give him away.

But they went right past Shade, couldn’t see him cloaked in the shadows. Two people stumbled out of the bar directly across the street from him. A man and a woman who were drunk, and leaning into each other, and laughing. They looked so happy and that wasn’t something Shade saw often. Usually when he saw people stumbling out of bars it was accompanied with angry yelling.

The cheap watch around Shade’s left wrist vibrated, it was three in the morning— it was time to go home.

An hour later, Shade costume hidden underneath the broken floorboard in his bedroom, Ronan Kingsley laid in bed unable to sleep despite his exhaustion. Always being tired was something that simply came with being a Las Vegas superhero— it was in the job description. And he knew when seven rolled around and he had to get up and actually function, Ronan would hate himself for not falling asleep until four-thirty. And one of his roommates, it was always Sara, would make a snarky comment about him sleeping around and his other roommate, it was always Kira, would silently hand him the coffee he needed oh-so-badly. And neither of them knew.

They couldn’t know. That was just another one of those things that was in the job description. If they wanted to assume he was sleeping around or involved with a sketchy gang, that was fine. He didn’t care what they thought he was doing when they found him gone in the middle of the night, as long as they didn’t think he was running around Las Vegas in a superhero costume. It was safer for them to not know.

And then Ronan would shower, get dressed, and go to work. Because that’s what twenty-six year-olds did in Vegas on Mondays.

~

“Kingsley!” Kathy shouted at him when he walked into The Beat, looking irritated. He knew he was five minutes late but traffic was a bitch, due to an awful car accident, but she had never gotten irritable with him before. In fact, ever since she hired him after her son moved to New York to go to law school she had treated him like a son. Most of the time she was more of a mother than his own ever had been.

“I’m so sorry I was late, there was an accident and—”

“I don’t care about that,” his fiery redheaded boss said, simply waving him off. “Did you not get my texts last night?”

“Uh,” no, Ronan thought, because I turn off my regular cell and leave it at home to fight crime on the streets of Vegas and only carry disposable crappy cells incase of an absolute emergency. But he couldn’t say that, because Ronan was not a crime-fighting hero in tights. He was just a guy that worked at a coffee house and he was clumsy, and nothing interesting ever happens in his life. Just boring ol’ Ronan.

“Never mind, doesn’t matter. This is Oliver,” Kathy put her hands on the shoulders of the curly haired guy with her, who was smiling all too brightly. Ronan had not even noticed the guy, with observation skills like that it was truly a miracle he hadn’t gotten himself killed yet. But when Ronan met Oliver’s shining green eyes he swore that his breath got stuck in his throat for a moment. There was no way to deny that he was beautiful. His red hair was messy and his eyes were bright even though they were hidden behind wide, round glasses. He was younger than Ronan, shorter, and his shoulders weren’t as broad. But When Ronan shook his hand he could tell that Oliver was strong.

And Ronan swore that he would not allow this boy to be his downfall. He stayed aloof and kept even the people he loved the most at arm's length. He was not about to forget what he was— who he was— just because some pretty boy made his chest feel like a thunderstorm.

“He is the new weekend barista but since Angie is on maternity leave I will need you to come in for the next couple weekends and train him. I can’t just put a newbie behind the counter without supervision, my customers expect nothing but perfection from us and—“

“Wait,” Ronan cut her off, icily. “Sundays are my only days off, I have things to do.” He had yoga class in the morning and always got a couple extra hours of patrolling in at night. He didn’t want to give that up to work a seven day week. Kathy and The Beat were important to him, but so was his Sunday routine.

His fiery boss rolled her eyes. “Fine, take Monday off,” she waved it off before launching into the story how she built the place from the ground up. Literally and metaphorically. While it captivated Oliver, Ronan had heard it a million times and tuned her out to help the other barista prepare to open shop. Emilia was technically the pastry chef but since they were short-handed she had been helping out.

She said his name softly to get his attention and Ronan arched an eyebrow at her. “I can train him today if you’d like.” She offered with a gentle smile. It was a tempting offer, Ronan wanted very little to do with the beautiful man, but he shook his head.

“It’s my responsibility, besides you do more than enough as it is.” She looked like she wanted to argue, but before she could Ronan walked to the front to unlock the doors and flip on the neon Open sign. Regulars quickly filled up the shop and they were both too busy to make any conversation.

~

By noon Ronan wanted to strangle him. He was a hard worker, charming, and the customers adored him. Logically, Ronan knew he was a great guy and there was absolutely nothing wrong with him. He was a great addition to the team and would fit right in with the ‘family’ Kathy insisted that they were. But he was touchy and Ronan’s muscles ached from being continuously tensed. Oliver was flirty and Ronan tried not to take it personally when he winked at him but he was so unaccustomed to being hit on that he didn’t know how to handle it and stared at Oliver until they were both uncomfortable.

After the lunch rush dwindled down, Ronan leaned against the counter next to Emilia. “Can you hold up the fort if Oliver and I take a lunch break?”

She smiled sweetly and nodded. “‘Course I can. Are you going to D’Latte?”

“Always do,” Ronan answered. He was already untying his apron and hanging it on one of the hooks behind the wall. “Want me to bring you back turrón?”

“Please.” She said and he nodded. Ronan may scoff at his bosses claims that they were a family, but he did have a soft spot for his co-workers. Kathy, Angie, and Emilia were good people and The Beat was his second home. He would never admit it, and he would always keep his kindnesses to a minimum, but he did care for them.

Ronan showed Oliver to the break room and asked Kathy if she wanted anything from D’latte before heading out. The small coffee place across the street was more than just a coffee shop. They offered a revolving variety of Spanish baked goods and sandwiches and had the comfiest chairs. And Ronan, no matter what mask he wore, always received free coffee. Which was more than a little disconcerting, but he chose not to think on it too long.

“Ah, Ronan my friend!” Mr. Soto greeted in his gruff Hispanic accent when Ronan entered. But he could not even muster out a hello in reply, his eyes glued to the television mounted high on the wall behind the coffee shop counter. The sound was off, but turned to a news channel.

Bank Robbery Leaves Seven Dead the text at the bottom read. “Can you turn the sound on please, Mr. Soto?” Ronan asked as he walked closer, eyes not leaving the screen. He heard the coffee shop owner sigh but did as requested and turned on the sound on the TV.

It happened at eight that morning, when Ronan was complaining to Kathy about not having a day off.

The robbers started shooting when police showed up, used a child as a hostage to get away. Ten men or women in masks taking a child. They were interviewing the missing child’s father, a man in his early thirties, eyes red and wet with held back tears, and begging to have his daughter back. Begging for Shade, Vegas’ vigilante to bring his unharmed daughter back to him. And Ronan felt sick.

Mr. Soto clicked off the television completely.

“I think that’s enough of that,” he grumbled, pressing a large paper coffee cup into Ronan’s shaking hand.  He felt like he was going to be sick.

A child hostage. It had been hours. Unless they wanted to use her for something else, she was probably already dead and Ronan could have stopped it.

Ronan was wrong, being chased by incompetent police wasn’t the worst part of what he did. It was this. Feeling so much not like a superhero, because he could have saved her but he didn’t.

#writing #writeblr #amwriting #fiction #superhero fiction #writers on tumblr #story #creative writing #prose #original writing #lgbt+ characters #story: ttd #my writing

[jodiecommuntitymultiverse]

ESSAY ON FAST FASHION

1. In your opinion, what is currently wrong with the fashion industry and what would you like to see change?

1. Garment quality is declining every year. As a result, our clothes immediately look faded, shapeless, or worn out.

2. Trends are changing so quickly that we cannot keep up. We continue to purchase just to stay up to date.

3. Clothing needs to be made with more sustainable products

4. Sustainable Garments have become extremely expensive therefore harder for people with less money to shop sustainably, these types of people are most likely to shop with fast fashion.

I would like to see more fashion brands looking at making their garments more sustainable by using greener products and looking at using recycled clothing.

In addition to this I would like to see more affordable products in the fashion industry.

2. What is fast fashion? What would brands need to do to steer away from implementing a fast fashion business plan?

Fast fashion can be defined as cheap, trendy clothing, that samples ideas from the catwalk or celebrity culture and turns them into garments in high street stores at breakneck speed to meet consumer demand. The idea is to get the newest styles on the market as fast as possible, so shoppers can snap them up while they are still at the height of their popularity, and then, sadly, discard them after a few wears. It plays into the idea that outfit repeating is a fashion faux pas, and that if you want to stay relevant, you have to sport the latest looks as they happen. It forms a key part of the toxic system of overproduction and consumption that has made fashion one of the largest polluters in the world.

Many of the retailers that we know today as fast fashion big players, like Zara or H&M, primark, SHEIN and AliExpress

3. What impact does the fashion industry have on the environment? What would brands need to do to improve their impact on the environment?

The fashion industry has a disastrous impact on the environment. In fact, it is the second largest polluter in the world, just after the oil industry. And the environmental damage is increasing as the industry grows.

However, there are solutions and alternatives to mitigate these problems. The first step lies in building awareness and willingness to change

In most of the countries in which garments are produced,untreated waste waters from textiles factories are dumped directly into the rivers.

Every time we wash a synthetic garment (polyester,nylon, etc), about 1,900 individual microfibers are released into the water, making their way into our oceans. Scientists have discovered that small aquatic organisms ingest those microfibers. These are then eaten by small fish which are later eaten by bigger fish, this introduces plastic to our food chain.

WHAT CAN WE DO ABOUT IT?

* Choose clothes made in countries with stricter environmental regulations for factories (EU, Canada, US...).

* Choose organic fibres and natural fibres that do not require chemicals to be produced.

* Choose sustainable brands

* Always wash new clothes before using them for the first time.

* Look for garments with certification label controlling chemical content such as OEKO-TEX®, GOTS, or BLUESIGN®

4. Discuss some examples of poor working conditions you find in the fashion industry. What would brands need to do to improve working conditions for their employees? Can you find any examples of brands with poor working conditions?

Many fashion brands assure their customers that the workers who made their clothing are paid "at least the minimum legal wage". But what exactly does that mean? 

First of all, it means that many other brands do not even pay the minimum legal salary! 

Furthermore, in most of the manufacturing countries (China, Bangladesh, India...), the minimum wage represents between half to a fifth of the living wage.

Garment workers are often forced to work 14 to 16 hours a day, 7 days a week. During peak season, they may work until 2-3am to meet the fashion brand's deadline. Their basic wages are so low that they cannot refuse overtime - aside from the fact that many would be fired if they refused to work overtime. In some cases, overtime is not even paid at all. 

168 million children in the world are forced to work.Because the fashion industry requires low-skilled labour, child labour is particularly common in this industry.

In South India, for example, 250,000 girls work under the Sumangali scheme, a practice which involves sending young girls from poor families to work in a textile factory for three or five years in exchange for a basic wage and an lump sum payment at the end to pay for their dowry

In South India, for example, 250,000 girls work under the Sumangali scheme, a practice which involves sending young girls from poor families to work in a textile factory for three or five years in exchange for a basic wage and an lump sum payment at the end to pay for their dowry

1. Aeropostale is one of the largest American retailers of casual apparel and accessories. The company is known to use sweatshops for the fabrication of its clothing items. It has been involved in child labor scandals as well.

2. Adidas creates shoes, clothing, and accessories. Adidas is the second-largest sportswear manufacturer in the world after Nike.

3. ASOS is a British online fashion and cosmetic retailer, selling over 850 brands on its website as well as its clothing range and accessories. ASOS uses child-labor in Turkish factories and implements sweatshop-like production lines in their warehouses

4. Forever 21 is a fast fashion retailer headquartered in Los Angeles. Many consumers already boycott Forever 21 because of their use of sweatshops. Forever 21 makes a third of its clothing in the United States. But they are currently being accused of using sweatshop-like factories, underpaying their workers, having no compensation for overtime.

5. Lastly, what can you, as a fashion consumer, do to reduce your fashion environmental impact?

How to stop fast fashion

1. Shop second hand (Depop, charity shops)

2. Up cycle your own clothing

3. Shop green ( find sustainable brands)

4. Shop ethically online

5. Instead of throwing clothes away sell them second hand to contribute to helping stop fast fashion

6. Donate to charity shops

Personally I shop in all second hand shops like Depop and charity shops all my old clothing goes to my brothers children or gets donated to charity shops.

[blueyesandleatherjacket]

Loving an angel instead, 2/2

► Loving an angel instead - Jimmy Stone/Rose Tyler, Ninth Doctor/Donna Noble. ► Written from a @badwolfxoncomingstorm prompt for @doctorrosepromts, @infiniteTARDISprompts (Unconventional) and @timepetalscollective. ► AU Verse, Mature. ► 3,468 words. ► AO3 || Download || FF || TS || Tumblr - PART I || Wattpad. ► WARNINGS: Explicit violence, rape.

“And through it all she offers me protection, a lot of love and affection, whether I'm right or wrong.” - Robbie Williams.

When Rose opened her eyes again, she was facing surroundings she didn’t know. She had come here once a very long time ago but had never had the need to come back since she was healing herself very well. Until she met Jimmy. The smell of antiseptics attacked her nose and gave her a retch. She immediately rolled on her side to get sick but she had nothing to puke since she hadn’t eaten in days. She rolled on her back again and sighed. There was a needle in her arm that had moved when she had rolled on her side. She was connected to a drip and was wearing a hospital gown on her thin body covered in bruises. “Sleeping beauty has awoken.” Rose started at the voice. She turned her head to find the man in black sat in the chair by the side of her bed. He had his legs crossed. He looked at ease but a bit bored. Just the sight of him reminded her of everything that had happened. Jimmy had died after the police found out about his illegal activities. She had been saved, but she was alone. Alone in this world. The thought was making her suffocate as if a weight was on her chest. She was drowning. In the middle of her panic, a cold hand cupped her cheek and blue eyes met hers. He never said a word. He just looked at her with his hand on her cheek. “You can’t stay in here,” he said when she was calm. But where would she go? And why was he here? He had no reason to be here for her. Her head hurt and she closed her eyes again. She was too tired to think about anything. The man sighed. They needed to move before someone decided to come around. He had made sure everything about her disappeared from this hospital. No one could know about her gift. Humans weren’t ready for people like them. He freed her frail body from the needles and wires it was connected to and gathered her into his arms. Footsteps were coming their way but he was already gone with Rose.

x

Everything was new to her. She was in a room she didn’t know but it wasn’t a hospital room this time. She felt much better than earlier. Had she healed during her sleep? That was the only option she had in mind. She couldn’t think of anything else. She kept her eyes closed. There was a soothing atmosphere in here and it felt good to her. But she was curious about the voices she could hear. One with a very Northern accent and one more like hers. A woman, a Londoner, but from a different district. “Why are you so interested in her?” “I’m not.” “Don’t lie to me. I know you too well.” “Don’t use that tone with me, D.” “So what? You think I can’t kick your ass?” “No, the matter is you’re appearing out of the blue at 3am with that blonde girl in your arms and you’re asking to heal her and keep her here so I can teach her the code of the givers of life.” “So what? Our grandfather taught you. Time to hand down.” “That’s it, that’s a family thing.” “She doesn’t have family. She was living with some waste beating her and using her gift for his own benefit.” “You like her.” Whatever the answer was, Rose didn’t hear it. She sat up in bed and slowly got up. She wrapped a blanket around her shoulders and walked out of the room. She was in some sort of flat. A nice flat. It was night outside. What time was it? She followed the voices and got into a small living-room. The man in black was sat in an armchair perfectly comfortable like he had been in that hospital chair. “Oh, you’re finally awake.” Not even a smile on his face. She wondered how it was like to always look so dull. He could smile at least. It wouldn’t kill him. He took his time to get up and straighten his clothes. “Rose Tyler, this is Donna Noble. Donna, this is Rose. You’re both givers of life. She’ll teach you all the rules.” And he disappeared. No goodbye, no further explanation. He just left, vanished into thin air. Rose was left alone with the tall ginger woman who kept calling him names until she decided it was enough. She turned to face Rose. She sighed. Rose didn’t know what to say, what to do. Should she leave? Where would she go? “That man was my stupid little brother. Maxence. He’s a bit weird but he’s not a bad guy.” “He’s scary.” Donna laughed. He sure was now but she remembered when they were kids. He was such a happy child, always smiling and running around, dreaming about the biggest things. He was five when he was told about his strange gift. A curse as he called it. There had to be a perfect balance in every family: for one giver of life, there had to be a giver of death, a soul reaper, and it was his curse. He was a shadow everyone was scared of. He hadn’t wanted to let this win. He had fought it until he couldn’t anymore. When he was fifteen, he had to reap his first soul. He had never been the same after that. He had never told his sister how it had gone. He had just withdrawn and become the dull guy he was now. Donna didn’t kick Rose out of her flat. She kept her with her for years. Rose quickly learnt all the rules and she was excellent in practise. She should have gone earlier but Donna had offered her to stay. They were less lonely when someone was sharing the secret. They sometimes were visited by Maxence who was inventing excuses for his presence. He was often visiting his sister before but now, he also came for Rose. He could lie all he wanted, Donna knew him very well. She knew he was feeling something for the little blonde who had grown into a beautiful woman. Donna had told Rose a few things about him. Rose was always fascinated by him. She was since she had met him. But she never dared talking to him about anything else but her progress. And he never spoke much. They hadn’t seen him in weeks when he reappeared again. It was the middle of the night. Rose was sleeping deeply when the sudden sound of a body collapsing on the ground and a death rattle forced her to jerk awake. She lighted the room and gasped when she saw Maxence, laid on the floor, his hand pressed on his stomach. His face was paler than usual and he was having troubles breathing. He was looking for the person by his side as if he was blind. Which he probably was. He was so hurt it was hard to tell what was the most painful. “Maxence? It’s me, it’s Rose. You’re home. What has happened to you?” “I made… I made a mistake…” he stammered. He was actually trying to reach Donna’s room. He hadn’t wanted Rose to see him like this, even if he had seen her in a similar situation a few years ago. He had even been a witness of her sad fate and had taken her out of there. Now, parts were reversed. Except she couldn’t save him. It was against their rules. Givers of life and soul reapers weren’t even supposed to stay in contact after their full education was done but Maxence hadn’t been able to stay away from his sister. Even less when Rose had come around. But though his boss knew about it, he never said anything. Maybe he was afraid of Donna. Everyone was. “Donna!” called Rose. “Donna! I need help!” Maxence was coughing blood now. He was trying to explain Rose that she couldn’t heal him, that she would get in troubles if she did so and he didn’t want her to. Not for him. But Donna was already there. She pressed her hands on his stomach, telling him to hold on. “No one can hurt a soul reaper,” explained Donna to Rose. Her hands were already healing him. She was experienced enough to be able to focus her power in some parts of her body. She was guiding Rose’s hands for her to help. “No one but another soul reaper. Who did this to you, Max? Is this that Van Statten guy again?” Maxence protested weakly. He didn’t want to tell them, didn’t want them to heal him and pay the price of it. But Donna insisted and he let her know. Van Statten had set a trap and he had fallen right into it. The renegades Mitchell and Blaine had been waiting for him and they made him pay for the fact he had gotten them into troubles by denouncing their souls trade. The first time had been a warning but Maxence had been tasked with keeping an eye on their activities and tonight, they had found out about him spying on them. They had wanted to kill him but he had escaped and gone to Donna’s. He was fully healed now but he felt weak. His eyes closed themselves. “Can you get me stuff to clean him?” Rose nodded but reluctantly left the room. She filled a bowl with water and grabbed a cloth. She brought it all back to Donna. She had put Maxence to bed and tucked him in. He was sleeping it seemed like. Donna thanked Rose and cleaned her brother’s hands and face. “I’m gonna meet his boss and report this. It can take some time. Stay with him please.” Rose did. She never left his side all the time Donna was gone. Maxence didn’t wake up. Rose had her heart broken when she thought of the condition he was in when he had arrived. He was better but it was gonna haunt her mind forever. She stroked his face sometimes. His skin was cool. Was it because he was working for Death? Or was he a naturally cold skin guy? She was tempted to lay beside him, to hold him in her arms to warm him up. But she didn’t dare. What would Donna and Maxence think if she did? Maxence wouldn’t have minded. She was asleep, her head on the bed. Her back wouldn’t like her when she would wake up. He slipped his hand through the curtain of her blonde hair, his fingers delicately finding their way to the warm skin of her cheek. She let out a sigh and leant into his touch. “She loves you, you know?” Maxence raised his head to meet Donna’s look on him. She was standing in the doorway, leaning on the doorway and observing him. He didn’t need to ask her where she had been, he already knew. “I’ve done nothing for this.” “That ‘I’m a big bad guy’ attitude got her.” “The latest bad guy she dated almost killed her.” “And you saved her.” “She was intriguing me.” “You went against the rules by calling the cops and changing their fates.” “And you’re in trouble again. You’ve taken her with you.” “What was I supposed to do? Leaving you to die? You’re my little brother, I can’t let you die because some assholes want you dead for doing the right thing.” “Maybe was I on their list.” “Don’t be fucking stupid, Maxence! Grow a pair and do what is right! Don’t let this ruin you, damn it!” Maxence looked down. Donna had always gone against the rules but everyone feared her. He had done the same a few times too but he had paid the price of it every time. He was not a rebel in his soul like his sister. He was a gentle man with a too heavy responsibility on his shoulders. He shouldn’t have been chosen for such a gift. He should have been given the gift of life. He would have handled it much better. “How do you feel?” “Tired still. My body’s regenerating, I guess.” “You were hurt badly. Without Rose, there would have been more consequences.” “Wait for it.” “Don’t be pessimistic.” “It’s not gonna be that easy, Donna.” “Get some sleep, I’ll take care of the rest.” However, Maxence was right and the consequences weren’t long to come. They had crossed the line for the one time too many and there had to be something done. The high authorities of the souls reapers gathered and Maxence was convoked. He gave his version of the events: how he had found out about Van Statten’s illegal trade of souls, how he had denounced him and how it had caused him to be beaten by his friends, how he had been given the mission of spying on Van Statten’s activities and how he had been drawn into a trap that had almost killed him. The authorities didn’t care about the danger he had been in to stop someone like they had ordered him to. They were too focused on the fact he had changed Jimmy Stone’s fate to save Rose Tyler and how his sister had saved his life once again. So, the two women were convoked too to give their own version of the story. They weren’t allowed to see Maxence while they were deliberating. He was locked into a room, alone. He was only brought back in the courtroom when the sentence was about to be pronounced. “After a close analysis of the facts, we’ve come to a unanimous decision. Maxence Spitz, you are sentenced to the ultimate death.” “No!” exclaimed Donna and Rose. “Silence! Mrs Spitz, you were supposed to break off all the tides with your family after the end of your education. We’ve not intervened before since you were both doing your duty properly.” “And that’s still true.” “But you’ve gone through the rules once again. As we’re not responsible of you, we can only sentence him.” “That’s not fair! He’s done everything you’ve asked him and that’s how you’re thanking him?” She wasn’t given the chance to go to the end of her argument. They were already tying Maxence with solid chains. He would be killed off later that day but they had to make sure he wouldn’t be able to run away. Rose, who had been silent since her statement, suddenly stood up. “My life for his.” Everyone stopped in their tracks and looked at Rose. Both Maxence and Donna wanted to protest but he was hit before he could say a thing and Rose stopped Donna by talking again. “You said families are a brake to the duty but Maxence and Donna have always worked together and they’ve got the best records and scores ever seen. They’ve broken the rules only to stay together and keep up the good work. I’m an orphan. I didn’t even know the rules before Donna taught them to me. I’ll never have as good records as they do. I’m only Donna’s apprentice. You can take my life and spare his.” “That is not up to us.” “I’ll do it myself.” “What?” “My fate was to die in Jimmy’s hands but he saved me. If I killed myself, everything would be back to normal.” “That’s unconventional.” Maxence protested. He refused this option to be accepted. He refused to have his life saved if Rose had to die. He couldn’t allow that. They hit him again and dragged him out of the room. The option had to be studied. Rose was taken to another room and Donna was sent back home. She was left without news, not knowing what they were gonna do with her brother and best friend.

x

That situation lasted for days. Since Rose was a part of the givers of life, she was the responsibly of another authority. An authority that had had to gather and debate about the situation. It appeared after a long discussion that Rose wasn’t in anyone’s record because she wasn’t supposed to be given the gift of life. She was part of those people born in such exceptional circumstances that they developed the gift with the strength of their personality. Rose was a natural and couldn’t be judged because she was superior to all of them that were chosen according to precise details. All her decisions belonged to herself and they couldn’t interfere. She was an Alpha and they were all Betas. That was very annoying for the high authorities of the souls reapers because messing with an Alpha was always troublesome. They couldn’t refuse her offer but they couldn’t let Maxence go unpunished. So, it was decided that Rose would do as she wanted and Maxence was compelled to take her soul and bring her to her last home. That decision taken, Maxence and Rose were led into a room. It was a small one, very white with nothing but a table with a silver tray. On this tray, there was one single dagger. Maxence was dull, his face was shut and pale. He didn’t want to play that game. He didn’t want Rose to die for him and he didn’t want to be the one taking her soul. The feeling got stronger when Rose ran to him and cupped his cheeks with her warm hands as the doors were closed and locked. “I was afraid they might have killed you already.” “They compelled me to live with the weight of your death thinking that this punishment is worse than death itself.” “You gotta live for Donna.” “Don’t do this, please.” “You’ve saved my life. Let me pay you back.” He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tight. He had never been so close to her through the years, which had been quite frustrating for her since she had fallen in love with him. She grabbed the dagger silently. “I’m sorry, Maxence. I wish we had more time together.” “I beg you, don’t do this.” “I have to.” “I love you.” “I know. I do too.” The dagger was very close to her stomach now and she was about to pierce her flesh when his hand caught hers on the handle and stopped her move. She was struggling against him but he was stronger than her. Tears were running down her cheeks. His eyes were full of the same sadness but there was also a cold determination, and she didn’t understand it until she felt the warm fluid slip between her fingers. It wasn’t hers, she wasn’t hurt. He gave her a sorry smile. “I’m sorry. This is how it should end.” “No,” sobbed Rose. The dagger fell to the ground. He had taken her hand only to turn the weapon against himself. She couldn’t hurt him but he could do it himself. And he had done it. Her expression of despair broke his heart. His blood was on her hand and it was driving her crazy. She could have picked the dagger and killed herself but she chose the other option. She kissed him, desperately, and as she did, he could taste the salt of her tears and feel the power of life running into his veins and healing him. She was saving him once more but there was something else. The power of life mixed to the strength of her love for him was changing him. She was taking something away from him. He would find out later that she had actually softened his curse by taking a part of it in her and giving him a part of her gift in return. By doing so, she had abolished all the rules that would apply to givers of life and souls reapers. They both were half giver of life and half soul reaper which meant they were a new race no one had authority on. That new status was what saved them both from a certain death after they defied the laws again. The souls reapers found them together in that room, their hands covered in blood and the bloody dagger on the ground but no dead body. They stopped in the doorframe, sensing that something was wrong about them. They made them go through some tests and when the results fell, no one knew what to do anymore. They had no power over this new race they were a part of. Maxence and Rose were allowed to come home. They could work together as life and death and they could love each other without the laws bothering them, and Maxence could protect his sister like she had always protected him…

#doctor who #doctorroseprompts #InfiniteTARDIS #timepetalscollective #ninth doctor #rose tyler #donna noble #doctor x rose #prompt fulfilment #warning: violence #warning: rape

[aspire-to-the-light]

Executive momentum 1: Feedback loops and reset points

(Previous)

I tend to fail with abandon. I wake up in the morning feeling unfocused, so I read the news for hours before remembering that I forgot to take my meds. The news links to other news and before I know it I’m reading about politics/war/disasters and feeling distressed about it. When I try to go back and focus on my essay, I’m distracted by curiosity and wanting to google some details of the stuff I read on the news. I feel guilty, and that makes it yet harder to focus, which makes me feel more and more frustrated.

Eventually I realise that in the war between “I want to do distracting time-wasting shit” and “I really ought to do work”, self care got completely forgotten, so I take a shower and eat something and feel somewhat more grounded. This makes my system one certain that the problem is insufficient self-care, and therefore I should play video games for hours to make myself feel better. Even if I do succeed at stopping playing video games after the time I decided to play them for, the video games are now way more salient to my brain, so I’m more tempted to go back to playing them.

After a while I start panicking about how I’m throwing the entire day away, and decide that I really ought to do something, so I stare at my to-do list having decision paralysis about which aversive task to do first. I realise I’m really behind and I haven’t done the tasks I was supposed to do yesterday, so I spend a few hours rescheduling everything so I’ll get things done by their deadlines. While rescheduling, I miss the social event that I was supposed to be going to, so I don’t get the extravert points I need.

People ask if they can help. I ignore them because admitting to being this unproductive would be shameful.

It gets really late, but I’m not tired enough to sleep because I’ve done nothing but lie in bed all day, and besides I feel like I really ought to get at least one task done before I sleep so that I can say I didn’t throw the entire day away. I stay up til 3am reading articles about how to defeat akrasia, too tired to get productive work done, but not tired enough to force me to sleep, and too feeling-like-I-should-be-working to voluntarily go to sleep.

I sleep in the next day and miss a morning appointment...

> “OK, so just don’t fail with abandon. Tell your system one that even if you were supposed to go to sleep at 12:00, and it’s 12:05, that doesn’t mean you need to stay up til 3am. It means you get to sleep at 12:05. Reframe it so that everything’s a scalar of doing more/less well, rather than a binary of everything being good or everything being bad.”

This works a bit, but not completely. This solution fixes the aspect of it which is just in my models - the bit where I’ve failed once, so I believe I’ll fail again, so I’m not motivated to try to succeed. But the problem is not just in the map, it’s also in the territory. Failing once does make it more likely that I’ll fail again.

Spending time on a distracting thing makes it more salient, so I’m more tempted to spend time on it again. If my lack of focus means I forget to take my meds, or my disorganization means I miss an appointment, or my lack of preparation means I don’t make it to an event, that has real consequences. If I don’t get a task done when I was supposed to get it done, I have to reschedule the task for the next day, and sometimes I then have to stare at my schedule for a bit figuring out when I’m going to fit all the tasks in and whether I should cancel some commitments.

If I need to leave at 12:00 to get to an event on time, and it’s 12:05, sometimes that means I should give up on going to the event because being late is worse than skipping (eg. if I’m late to a sports class, I’ll miss the warm-up, and be more likely to be injured).

If your brain works like mine, it’s really important to figure out how resets work.

A reset breaks you out of the feedback loop you’re in. So, you’re in a feedback loop where you don’t do any work, so you feel unproductive and guilty and unfocused and demotivated, so you don’t do any work. Then you go to sleep and wake up again. Much of the time, this resets the feedback loop. Your emotions from yesterday are less salient, you alieve that it’s a new day and a fresh chance, and you start the day with some easy tasks (showering, dressing, breakfast) which lead into some less-easy tasks (checking email, prioritising your to-do list) which lead into harder tasks (writing an essay) and behold, a positive feedback loop!

Very specific resets are easy to figure out. You’re in a negative loop where you don’t keep up with emails, so they build up in your inbox, so there’s an overwhelming amount of emails, so you get avoidant about the emails. So you do a quick sweep through the inbox to check for anything really vital, and then hit “delete all” and start afresh.

More general resets can be harder. You’re in a negative loop where you're having a bad day so you keep having a bad day, and it affects everything - you haven’t kept up with emails, you’ve not done work, you’ve missed appointments, you’ve forgotten your self care, you’ve let distracting-things become salient and available to you - and it’s much harder to figure out how to stop having a bad day.

There are smaller scale resets; sometimes you’re having a bad few hours, so you go to the gym and work off your emotions, and come back feeling refreshed and like you’ve done a worthwhile thing, and get on with work. Showers, gym, naps, coffee breaks, all kinds of thing work on this scale. At small enough scales sometimes it’s just a matter of snapping your fingers in front of your face, saying “snap out of it” in a firm voice, and clearing your mind for a bit.

But sometimes there are much larger scale feedback loops where you’re not having a bad day, you’re having a bad year, and it’s starting to look less like “you got distracted by video games so missed a deadline and now you have even less time because your teachers are insisting on scheduling remedial sessions”, and more like “you didn’t do anything all month so you slipped into depression and didn’t do anything next month so you lost your job so you couldn’t pay for therapy so you had a freakout on all your friends and now you have no social life".

(For clarity, that’s not a feedback loop happening to me. I’m being deliberately exaggerated/extreme to gesture at the worst end of things.)

I don’t know how to make good resets at the larger-scale end of things. In fact, I keep watching people (self very much included) repeatedly fail hard at larger-scale resets, even resets they seem sure will work. “Things will get better after X!” and then things don’t get better but “Things will get better after Y!” but then things don’t get better but “Things will get better after Z!” but then things don’t get better.

Sometimes this is because the reset is mis-targeted. Taking some time off to meditate will fix your “feel guilty so don’t work so feel guilty” problem, but will not fix your “behind on fixing-problems work, so no time for preventing-problems work, so even more fixing-problems work is needed” problem. Planning to catch up on your uni work over the summer break might fix your “I never go to lectures, so it takes ages to find information on my own and write essays, so I don’t have time to go to lectures” problem but will not fix your “I’m not motivated by school, so I underperform, so I feel bad about school” problem. Moving to the Bay might fix your “I don’t feel like I fit in with people here, so I don’t socialise ever, so I don’t know how to fit in” problem but will not fix your “I have social anxiety, so I never go to social things unless I’m specifically invited and encouraged to attend, so nobody knows me well enough to specifically invite me to things” problem.

Sometimes there’s a durable underlying problem that will just start the feedback loop going again after your reset, unless you head it off. Maybe you quit Facebook to kill the “I post on Facebook a lot, so I get notifications about responses a lot, so then I’m always on Facebook and end up posting a lot” loop. But you don’t fix the underlying problem with your executive function and your unmet social needs, so you just end up addicted to Tumblr instead.

Sometimes people just seem to have more of a tendency for negative feedback than positive feedback. When they fail at things they fail hard, but when they succeed they can’t build on it, so negative feedback loops last and become stronger whereas positive feedback loops falter quickly. (Many different small things probably contribute. Feeling more guilty about failures than happy about successes. Or letting tasks overrun and delaying new tasks when you’re slow, but not using the extra-time-created to start new tasks earlier when you finish faster. Or having resets like distractions kill your positive loops, but not interrupt your negative loops.)

The most important thing I’ve found is to have a clear idea of what sustains your negative feedback loops. It’ll be lots of things, but there’s usually a major one - for me I think it’s that the more I procrastinate the more I want to procrastinate. (I game for a while, so I end up caring about my ranking in the game, so I want to game more. I spend time on tumblr, so the Discourse becomes salient, and my brain comes up with more Discoursey thoughts it wants to talk about. I get into stupid arguments, so I’m emotional about stupid arguments and want to spend all my time shouting at people. I do some conlanging, so conlanging is super available and I end up thinking about it rather than thinking about my work.)

The other important thing I’ve found is to have regular, automatic resets that you really alieve will work. So, you don’t fall deep into a negative feedback loop, realise everything’s going wrong, and struggle to figure out a good reset from within your not-particularly-great-mind-state; resets happen regularly anyway. Sleep is like this; every morning gets you a new day, which most people alieve at least slightly is a little bit of a fresh start. Though sleep has the drawback that it breaks positive loops just as easily as it breaks negative ones. I find regular exercise sessions are great, because they feel productive enough and leave me alive-feeling enough that they don’t break positive loops, but they absolutely smash negative loops.

Bigger resets are somewhat harder to find. New Year works like this for me, and I have a bunch of rituals that help make sure it’s a really good reset (resolutions I alieve I’ll keep! a blank new calendar! letter to myself in a year!), and whether my New Year is good and my rituals go well actually ends up being a fairly good predictor of how much stuff I’ll get done in January and February. Getting more things that work like New Year works seems like a fairly important project that I don’t quite know how to start on.

(Next)