#this is a pretty rare interaction tbh so YAY
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They are like pasta buddies that's so cute
(c) Rejet
#diahell#diabolik lovers#dialovers#diabolik lovers translations#kou mukami#runatl#sakamaki reiji#reiji sakamaki#mukami kou#that is so cute#LMAO#reiji doesnt gatekeep his pasta sources#this is a pretty rare interaction tbh so YAY#thanks rejet
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Could you please do headcanons Slashers (like Michael, Brahms, Billy, The Sinclair brothers) as caregivers for their S/O who is an age regressor
Or headcanons for those Slashers when they find out their s/o is an age regressor?
Okay I acually went and educated myself on this topic for you my dear anon🥰🌼
if your uncomfortable with topic of age regression pls dont read that😭
So basically as far as I understand age regression means that somone acts like child due to some traumatic event??? And like they act childlike and participate in child typical activies (such as drawing with crayons, speaking like a toddler, drinking from bottles ect) if i make headcanon that don't make any sense im sorry! I have no experience with this topic! ALSO this is pure platonic! Age regression isn't a kink or a fetish!!
Slashers with age regressor y/n
Brahms Heelshire
Tbh y/n acting childish kinda woke up his inner child, CUZ HE LITTERALY GOT LOCKED IN WALLS IN AGE OF LIKE 10 so he kinda missed out on some fun stuff
100% plays hide and seek! Or tag! My man loves some good round of hide and seek, this place is huge! *insert british accent* "oh you little scallop... if I find you I will tickle you so hard..."
Question: age regression is like temporary or like forever thing? Like regressor acts like that when they are in bad metal state or just always? Bcs if always then it might be hard with Brahms, see he kinda.... has mommy's issues has huge need to be taken care of, probably similar to y/n's, he kinda wants a person who will just pamper him and make him feel like he's the single child yknow? All the attention on him? Yknow what i mean??
If y/n draws him something nice, dude will put it on a fridge with a magnet and be proud
If thats like temporary thing, he acaully will ask a lot of questions: how should he act? Do you remember anything? How does it work? Can he get some cuddles? Do you still love him while regressing? (Ofc you do, but he doest understand)
Billy Lenz
You guys vibe
Dude won't see any difrence😭
Yay one more reason to watch cartoons together! (His favorite ponny is rarity and fluttershy)
If y/n babytalks and uses toddler-like vocabulary... dude will mimic it😭 he just thinks that will help with communication😭 its not like you guys struggle with it or anything, Billy is just build like that
Yall draw together, his artstyle already looks like toddler drew it (not in cute way)
Plays dolls with y/n (but he acually makes it interesting! Like he makes it all dramatic and the tea is just jawdropping)
Also don't bother explaining what is age regression, just say "sometimes I act like kid to cope"😭
Micheal Myers
Judges
But kinda likes it, not in weird way! He enjoys taking care of y/n, but he has his own ways of doing so
He won't play with them or let them cuddle him too much
But he accepts little drawings and stickers that y/n gives him
He is still stalking them, making sure noone tries to bully them or anything
He is very protective, for example if y/n cuts their finger while making food, dude is all over them: Oh no no dont cry! Uhhh.... uhhh oh! See a pretty bandage? With puppies! Pls dont cry...
On rare days he is acually around (phicially i mean, cuz hes always around just not interacting with y/n) and it happens for him to be in good mood too, he will let y/n nap on him or put some stickers on his outfit- he never takes them of btw, the only reason that stickers wash of is the field he 'works' in? Yknow a lot of mud blood and water. He also holds y/n hand if they are spooked
And he fucking loves fluttershy and applejack
Steals some cute shirts and socks for them!
Sinclair Bros
Bo is the least understanding, tbh he will lisen to y/n only if they have very good relationship
Vince is just 👍
And Lester is acually very open to the idea
Drawing and playing dolls with Vincent
Going on cool drives with Lester
And napping with Bo
Whole fridge is covered in drawings and cute magnets
All Vincent's notebooks and Lester truck covered in stickers
Even Bo gun didnt escape the sticker apocalypse
Vince made special wax figurines for y/n
Lester calls them "kiddo" 😭😭
Bo puts his hand on their head and rubs it till their hair goes all puffy
They all act like older brothers who have to take care of younger siblings while perents are away😭😭
Vince acually vents to regressing y/n and they are just like: "man I just wanna pet the dog"
Bonus round! Added few more!!
Bubba Sawyer
Bestie vibes
Yall just spend time playing with dolls and drawing together
Absolutely lets y/n nap on him
He totally combs their hair and puts them in nice bun (or if y/n has short hair he will just brush it)
He kinda sees age regression as lil break from reality? Like you two can just vibe and act they way you want to😊 he enjoys, cuz tbh he do be acting like child(not in bad way!) And his happy that you both can do all those child-like activities without being judged by other person
Bit y/n once
Asa Emory
Ew a child
I mean
Idk he gives me "the dad that never has time for u cuz he has too much work"
Like yep he will read y/n a bed time story and he will tell them all about bugs and nature. But hes busy most of time
OMG ABOUT BED TIME STORIES Asa will read you one but he is so exhausted that he acually falls asleep first
He trusts them and knows that even whilr regressing they wont do anything dumb, but he still bans them from his 'workroom' theres... well some photos and drawings of victims and i doubt y/n wants to see it
Lets them sit on his lap while he reads newspaper like middle-aged man he is
Gives lil head kisses before sleep
Bug themed plushies and figures
Makes y/n watch animal planet and bbc nature with him
When he's out for longer periods of time he will buy them McDonald's as an apology
Welp
Done. I hope it makes sense! I never witnessed anyone age regress so idk how relatable it is!! I used x reader tags only to reach bigger audience
#slasher x reader#slasher headcanons#billy lenz#billy lenz x reader#brahms heelsire#brahms x reader#micheal myers#micheal myers x reader#asa emory x reader#the collector x reader#bubba saywer x reader#bubba sawyer#age regression#sfw agere#request open#asa x reader
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since we're about to hit the end of the year soon, and since i've been too busy with dev work to draw much recently, i've been putting some of my thoughts together on my relationship with art, social media, and all that.
like a lot of kids, i did some drawing and painting during my middle and highschool years. unlike a lot of kids, i was homeschooled. not having a social circle to pick up interests from meant two things: i rarely had to deal with people on a day-to-day basis unless they were my family (yay), and my life felt very boring (not yay). the art subjects, and being forced into a dichotomy of acrylic and watercolor as my main options, did not help.
it took me until the middle of college to start drawing for real. that year was the start of a lot of things for me, and tbh a big part of it was simply having other people that i didn't mind being around, even if i never truly connected with them. anyway, i made some assets for a tabletop game, and at that point i was following enough artists to know at least vaguely the kinds of things that i wanted to draw.
if i look at my files, i've been drawing for a bit over 2 years now. and there's undoubtedly a lot of improvement from when i started (i can only stand to look at like 2-3 drawings from back then, aside from the studies).
i do still want to go back to painting things like this eventually, but for the life of me i cannot figure out how to render a character or a full scene like this.
anyway, that's year 1. i started posting some stuff to twitter, and did mostly fanart or studies where i could find the time. i definitely noticed that i had a bit of an unhealthy relationship forming already with social media (i may not be diagnosed with ADHD, but the way notification indicators make me behave is a big reason i suspect i have it). i also started to fall off of drawing fanart of large, popular vtubers because, well... i'm not sure actually. the artificial interaction inflation from a vtuber fanart is definitely one part of it, but i also started to make friends within an indie vtuber's fanbase/friend circle which made me realize i was being a bit parasocial about one or two larger vtubers and hit the brakes there.
also, this was from an event from an art server where we did blind/telephone style chara design iteration off a picture of jewelry, and that opened my eyes to how much fun having an OC can be compared to being constrained by an existing design. (i do still have issues with fanart because i don't entirely understand how to adapt an existing design to my style the first few times i draw it.)
now, to take a slight detour, all this was happening on twitter or discord. i had used tumblr back in the day, but i barely posted anything and never really kept up with the popular stuff happening. until recently it was also still sort of weird memories because i never the friend group i had from back then... not going into detail, but there are some interesting types out there, and we all kind of grew apart until the group fractured and just sort of fell apart.
coming back here to start posting, even if all i have at the moment is reposting older art, is super comfortable and a bit nostalgic. that return also fell at a time where i had time and a proper idea for updating my personal site, and i do think that i'll be implementing a bit of a blog there as well. i don't mind getting personal on social media, but it's impossible to do easily on twitter and even here i'd prefer to never get notified that people i don't know interact with my more personal posts.
so that sort of brings the story to the current year. having a job makes it pretty hard to keep up with the friends i've made the way i want to, but i don't see myself ever going fully freelance because of how easily i burn out from outside pressure to create. i have a few OCs that i want to continue to flesh out, and i think my main goal for the near future is to evolve my art more with their designs until i can really say i like my ability to render a character and a scene at the same time (i have some ideas, but i need the time to tackle them, and to do a lot of studies).
next year, i want to focus on streaming at least a couple times a month after i get some graphics finished (or even before, and just work on those on stream). i want to just get a lot better at art. illustration is a lot of fun once i can get out of the sketch phase, and i also have dabbled a bit in animation, but 3D is also on the table for game dev purposes and also just character modeling (it's really cool i want models of my OCs and i'm a very DIY kind of person). oh and VR too.
basically, i guess next year is my year to push for being a little more "self-sufficient" and also self-indulgent, i suppose. also been picking up the guitar again recently, and might be buying a bass soon. the more time i spend having fun/working on things and the less time i spend looking at socmed notifications, the better it is for me.
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༶•┈┈୨02/22/23୧┈┈•༶
making some progress :)
heh it’s kinda late. 10:37pm. i was busy today running errands so I didn’t get to play on my switch until later. but then I sat down, got on animal crossing, and was grinding for like an hour and half. so here’s what I got done:
the starting 5000 nook miles fee is all paid off. so tomorrow i’m gonna have a house instead of this ugly tent. yay!
in the process of getting those nook miles I made even more progress: got a bunch of tools, collected a bunch of fish & bugs and got blathers’s tent set up, cleaned up a bunch of weeds, etc.
i got cherries from the postcard ur “mom” sends you so… that’s a start to getting all the fruits back. im sure I can get some fruit from friends tho so that’s not a big deal.
also…. just out of curiosity I did the group stretching thing… lollz… ive never done it I didn’t even know it existed since I rarely even played acnh. was kinda cute.
i don’t really know what else to say. i still have to pick up my stuff from my friend’s island but idk when she will be available for that. tomorrow I have to work but hopefully I’ll have a bit of time to get even more stuff done!
just ur daily reminder that if you are an animal crossing blog (or just want to support) pls interact with me <33 I will follow back all animal crossing blogs, or tbh if you just want to follow for follow and you aren’t an animal crossing blog just ask and as long as your blog isn’t nsfw or something I really don’t like I’ll probably follow you back!
but imma turn my switch off for the night. i’m pretty happy with what I got done today. see you all tomorrow, hopefully ❤️
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Wrapping Up
Gift Card Commentary
This week was a joy to look through. I don’t even know what I can say about most of these cards because I can tell they come from the heart. There was a surprising mix of “this card will only work in a deck dedicated to it” and “this card is generically good, but in the same way that the recipient is.” I was expecting that, and I was happy about that result. I always like a good variety of entries. There was also no card that really missed the mark, all of them seemed very well targetted to their targets, with a few entries perhaps going a little overboard. Still, very happy with all of them, so let’s get to the commentary!
@antmations - Serra’s Locket
So the obvious answer is that this is for Serra, but that doesn’t really make sense, but then I remembered seeing this in the Discord and you saying it was for Teshar. In that case, pretty solid! It lets you loop things fairly easily, netting you some mana if you’ve got some workshop assistants or junk divers. I’m a little worried about the effect outside of Teshar, though. If you play this on trun two, you can play a six-drop on turn three in any color. At uncommon. I think there’s a problem with that. I can’t really think how to change the ability without changing the whole card, though. From a flavor standpoint I’m sure he would like a locket!
@askkrenko - Woodland Swarm
What a fun and narrow card. I could see Kamahl, either of the green ones, really liking this card. I appreciate the set symbol, since lands attacking is a very Zendikar thing. I’m trying to judge the power level, and while part of my thinks that making a token every time you attack is really strong, Mardu Ascendency did it plus another thing for one mana more without the land restriction. I don’t think dropping a mana off the cost would be the answer, but maybe just putting something else on the enchantment. I really wish this provided some way to protect either the forests, the bugs, or both. A free 1/1 tapped and attacking often leads to no 1/1. Of course, the best way to do that is to give them all +3/+3, but that’s also tough to do if you’re attacking with your lands. I think this is a good concept and a good effect, I just wish there were a little more going on.
@dabudder - Horizon Managem
I have no idea why this is an artifact and enchantment, but I totally understand why it’s a gift to OG Omnath. The two effects are both very green, and the mana cost definitely shows that. I like how, while Omnath is the best thing to do with this card, it’s also very fun in decks focused around mono-green activated abilities. I kind of wish it specified lands, if only because giving all creatures psuedo-vigilance makes for some very stagnant boards. Even if you have a massive Omnath, one typhoid rats stops that dead. Still, something about this card makes me smile. I really like the mix of symmetrical upside and symmetrical downside. I think this card would see plays in a lot of decks for a lot of different reasons, and that alone makes it really cool and interesting.
@deafeningsandwichpeach - Certra, Kiora’s Visionary
Okay, this card’s something. This is intended as a gift to Kiora, though which Kiora exactly is unclear. The first ability doesn’t really have any major synergy with any Kiora, since she doesn’t have any thing that costs mana or needs untapped lands, and I don’t know a particularly good reason to bounce a Kiora except to save her. Making a giant Kraken is always fun, though. The card itself has a lot going on, and the synergy with Kiora and with itself is a little lacking. I like how the first ability generates mana and the last one lets you use it, but I don’t know if that’s enough to make this card interesting. It feels like an expensive wilderness reclamation with a pretty okay way to use the mana.
@dimestoretajic - Cloak of the Knight-Errant
Right in the feels. So this seems to be a literal gift to Ajani, and I can see it working really well with him, but not too annoyingly narrow. The first ability is a little awkward, since it doesn’t affect actual +X abilities, since the ability isn’t putting the token on, the activation of the ability is. But it works great with Ajani Steadfast! I think the second ability also is templated strangely, since the first part says “a creature token” but the last part talks about multiple. And the last ability has the same issue. But I see what you were going for, and I think you did alright. Almost every white planeswalker does one, two, or all of these, so I could see this getting played in a LOT of superfriends decks, especially since white is the color that seems to have the most support for planeswalker based on Call the Gatewatch and the like. I think this card is good, I think it’s fine, but the templating holds it back from the standings.
@driftingthruthecosmos - Returning Omen
Another fan of fling, I see! I love that middle ability, and I sincerely hope it works, but there’s some really weird stuff that happens when you refer to paying costs. For example, if you sacrificed this card to ashnod’s altar, then used that mana to cast a spell with kicker, it would probably copy the spell, but the game has no way of determining which colorless mana was used for kicker and which was used for the spell. I’d probably just take out the “additional cost” and just say when it’s sacrificed to pay for a spell. I think that works. Also, coppied spells don’t have to pay additional costs anyway, so no need to put that text on there. I will also warn that the first ability interacts poorly with unearth, since an unearthed creature cannot die, only go straight to exile when it would. I also don’t know how I feel about black drawing a card without losing life, even upon death. Only blue and green cards have had that effect so far. Sorry, don’t know why I’m being so mean about this card, I really like it! I like how it is perfectly built to be flung, even ignoring the ability referencing fling. Unearth and fling go great together. That middle ability is also really cool and just needs some tweaking.
@evscfa1 - Radiance of the Dawnwaker
A gift for a fox. So, you get to turn any creature into a better crackdown construct. TBH my favorite part about this card is the vigilance and haste, since those are both abilities you want on creatures with activated abilities including zirda itself. I also really liked that you gave it an activated ability itself so that it can be played in a deck that uses Zirda as a companion. The activated ability has just enough generic cost to maximize Zirda’s cost reduction, the ability grants redundant abilities but acts as a proxy for firebreathing, it being an aura helps offset the power level. There’s a lot to like here! I do kind of wish there was some sort of limiter on the pump ability, just because it’s a whole lot to track in a normal game, but I guess in a lot of games it’ll either be infinite, just get chumped, or only be like one or two because your engine got killed. While I love this card for all it does, I think all it does may be too much. I’m still very impressed at all the thought that got put into this.
@demimonde-semigoddess - Exhumed Shambler
When I first saw this card in the inbox, I thought I remembered it from Discord, but I am very happy to see you replaced the triggered effect with a replacement effect! That means there isn’t the awkwardness of being in a hidden zone! Yay! I’m also impressed that you got a reanimation effect that is fairly costed, a rarity any week. A common with a narrow but fun ability that I could see getting value off of every so often, even in draft, especially a masters format. Part of me really wishes it was less specific, and let you use stuff like gravepurge to get multiple out at once, but I definitely think the templating and power on that would be tough to get right. As is, this is a perfectly fine card, a great companion card to gravedigger and friends, and there’s just not really anything I can complain about. Though I do suddenly wish there were a way to give this dredge...
@gollumni - Flames of War
This cards got layers (no, not those). First off, it is a defensive red card. That’s rare! But it does it in a nice, red way. It also works very neatly with cards that force players to attack, such as Trove of Temptation, the card you mentioned (in discord) as being the target of this gift. Another cool interaction is that Trove of Temptation normally lets that player send their weakest creature to attack, but this card makes that creature die unless it’s at least an X/3. It forces your opponent into even more difficult decisions. And if they DO send a big guy, this makes it easier to take down with smaller blockers. I wonder how strong this card is against creature light decks, and how, it being an enchantment, some decks may be unable to deal with it, and might scoop hard to it. But that’s not much different than burn scooping to leyline of sanctity, so I don’t think it’s that big of a deal. This would make an impact in standard, probably, and might require specific answers, but isn’t going to warp the format. All around a solid card. I wish it had a little bit more synergy specifically with Trove, but for what it is, it’s good.
@grornt - Burning Insurrection
This is a fun card to think on. When a creature comes into play, it immediately looks at the guy who summoned it, punches them in the face, then continues to do as they say. I really like this card as a gift to Rite of the Raging Storm, because while this has applications in a lot of decks, with Rite it is at it’s most powerful outside of infinite combos. I also like it in prison/control decks, using it to slowly have your opponent kill themselves as they try to play more creatures than you have answers. I remember seeing you in the Discord asking about the right mana cost for this card, and I have to say, I don’t know the right answer either. If this is meant for commander, I think you could safely drop it to five. In draft this would be game over at that cost, though, and in standard it would be pretty killer, too. But it’s also sort of a control card? And control cards have this awkward thing where the price doesn’t matter that much because you should have control of the game by the time it resolves. Regardless, it’s a fun ability and has a cool impact on the game, and it works great with it’s recipient.
@i-am-the-one-who-wololoes - Ritual of Life and Death
I have never heard of Holistic Wisdom, but I have now! So, the first part of the card doesn’t do much with holistic wisdom (I think you could have maybe safely targeted enchantments since it’s a white card), but that’s fine because the second part does, and when you have abilities that trigger in other zones, you can sort of just ignore the rest of the card (did you know golgari grave troll has text? Who knew!). Still, that first ability is a nice rare removal/reanimation effect. I don’t know if it is intended that it MUST have two legal targets, but I think that’s fine since casting it is sort of a fail state. The card is meant to be exile fodder, and has other random synergy besides Wisdom. I’m sure there are tons of ways to abuse it, though a lot of them are probably inefficient. I don’t know if this card is stronger or weaker than Squee. I think it has great combo potential with Wisdom and other cards, and only gets problematic (I think) in multiples. Personally I’m not a fan of stuff that deals with cards in exile unless they are awful (misthollow griffin is a vanilla flyer, pull from eternity is card disadvantage, etc.) but I think at least part of that is personal. I do wish this card had a more complete concept, like some way to exile itself (very expensive flashback?) or a clear thematic connection to Eldrazi or something. This card is taking a lot of risks, and while I think it pulls them off, I don’t think it did so outstandingly.
@ignorantturtlegaming - Chandra’s Inferno Golem
While it’s clear who this is for, it’s unclear which Chandra this is for. My guess would be this big one, since they both can’t be countered and both have inferno in the name. The more I look at it, the more I see that. This coming down the turn before means you’ll get to curve into big Chandra and immediately get double triggers. Being uncounterable also means if you’re playing one in the matchup you’ll probably play both. The lifegain at first felt odd, since chandra doesn’t care that much about lifegain usually, but Awakened Inferno specifically is very burn-centric, and lifegain is the only thing that can be done to slow down her emblems. All that being said, I had to do some digging to find that. This is a very straightforward card in that it just says “play me in decks with chandras.” This guy is amazing if you have a chandra out and boring to bad if you don’t. As much as I like this card, it just doesn’t feel that special.
@justincase-1012 - Two-Headed Helm of Foriys
How do you make a helmet that fits two heads? Wouldn’t you just wear two helmets? Anyway, a card for a two-headed giant! So this is meant to be put on cards with menace or, like the two-headed giant of Foriys, cards that can block multiple creatures. I have a couple of issues with this card. First, it’s super situational. You would want to make sure every card in your deck would get a benefit from this before you’d use it. Second, the ability is not red at all, even if it was meant for a red creature. Third, I think this card could have just said “prevent the damage of one of those creatures” to save on a lot of rules headaches. Lastly, it’s really weak for what it does. Most equipment that prevents damage costs about 2, like Shield of the Realm, and is far less conditional. And nobody plays those anyway. While I think it’s really cool that you made a card for such an old and oft-forgotten card, I think this card has too many issues to win this week.
@kavinika - Dreadmaw Nesting Grounds
I know who this is for! Collosal Dreadmaw gets a friend! You can never have too many dreadmaws, so says WotC. It also warms my heart that you said this is just as much for any big green 6 drop common that appears in every set. They really don’t get the respect they deserve. So here we have an incredibly narrow card with massive upside. As a fan of MTGGoldfish’s Commander Clash I also know that 6 CMC tribal is a theoretically real archetype. I think this is exactly the type of card that a lot of people ( AKA Timmies and Tammies) would fall in love with. I even think it’s costed pretty well. I might say I’d put it at rare, since it’s a build-around in draft so you’d want it to show up more often, and it’s also not quite splashy enough for mythic.
@koth-of-the-hammerpants - Grizzled Salvager
No submission notes, but I can see this is a gift to grizzly salvage. A nice card, and one I could see be worthy of a gift. This card has been very delicately phrased to work for both milling and grizzly salvage itself (after the keywording of mill, WotC would probably have just said “milled), but it is mixing terminology from triggered effects and replacement effects. I can understand why, because if it were a triggered effect it might trigger itself wen the remaining cards are put back, but a replacement effect is unnecessary. I’d suggest removing about the half the words until you’re left with “Whenever two or more cards are put into your graveyard from your library, put one into your hand.” I think that gets the effect you’re looking for. As for the effect itself, I think I like it. It’s incredibly powerful in the right deck, and I like how it specifically wants effects that put multiple cards into your graveyard at once, as opposed to the likes of Sidisi who prefers milling one at a time. I’m having a really hard time judging this, since it’s such powerful card advantage, but does need to be in play to do it, and needs to be built around. This is probably a busted and broken card, but for whatever reason I can’t figure out for sure. I’ll assume not, in which case this is a pretty cool card!
@mardu-lesbian - Trumpeteer Angel
Wow, someone else has heard of Angel’s Trumpet! My buddy plays it in his chaos deck, but it always seemed like it would have use elsewhere. I like how simple and small this card is. A lot of entries this week were either incredibly narrow or just combo good stuff. This card definitely feels like it has a place, and that place might also be the place for angel’s trumpet, but not exclusively. At a minimum, a 2/1 flying first strike for 2 is a great body, so much so that I could easily see not activating the ability. But that’s where the trumpet comes in! I love how the two abilities, blanket vigilance and what my friend refers to as “anti-vigilance,” where you tap if you don’t attack, are both used to power up this card. Flying and first trike means that this card can attack super safely (thus not triggering trumpet herself) and then activate her ability on the next turn to get the printed effect and also end up tapping it by your next turn! It’s a full bowl of synergy! My only real complaint is the lifegain. While I understand using it as a power tradeoff and the lifegain is offset by the trumpet, it feels weird to offset that. The damage is a big reason to play trumpet, it feels odd to have an ability that negates it while triggering it. I don’t think that’s a major complaint in any way, just feels a little odd to me, but the rest of the card is golden. I really like it, and that flavor text is some of the best I’ve seen.
@misterstingyjack - Infinite Index
A gift for Mishra, which seems obvious once you tell me. I’ll be honest: I do not like this card. I think Spy Kit was a mistake, I think it causes more problems than it solves, and I think it never should have been printed. This card is causing far, far more trouble with only slightly more problems solved. This card will make players confused, angry, and probably sad if they don’t know what they’re doing. But! This isn’t about me. This was you trying to find a way to get Mishra to be a better card. And it does do that! But even so, it does it in a very boring way. If you have this and Mishra in play, you just get to turn your next artifact into the best artifact in your deck (or creature if it’s an artifact creature). That doesn’t seem fun for players, though I guess it would make Mishra happy. A nice gift to Mishra, but not the best gift to players.
@naban-dean-of-irritation - Panglacial Thaw
Panglacial wurm is such a weird, weird card, but when it sees play it’s always a super fun card. I like how, at first glance, this card seems incredibly narrow, because it feels like PW is the only creature in the game you cast from your library. However, cards like vizier of the menagerie and the new changeling guy make this card really powerful. Even so, it’s still pretty narrow, and I think you could pretty safely drop a mana off the CMC. I like this card, I like how much of a build-around it is, but I wish there were just a little bit more to it to make it not so much of a dead draw most of the game.
@nine-effing-hells - Ion Faestus, the First Lich
You’ve got guts to put the word “calculation” in a black-border card, I’ll give you that. I don’t really mind it though, I’m sure the rules hates it but I’m fine with it. I also appreciate that this card is just blatantly trying to break things while also trying to fix them. Intended as a gift to Endless Ranks of the Dead, I kind of like how this card fills a lot of roles. I like how prventing exile is very zombie-friendly, and the fact that he is a zombie himself means he automatically turns on endless ranks of the dead. I also just quickly looked for what cards that first ability would affect, and was surprised at how little it does. I just sort of assumed it would break something. That last ability (with support from the middle ability) definitely enables a lot of scary shenanagins, though the simplest of which is just letting players almost infinitely flashback, which sounds fun, and the colors support that. In general, I think this card does an okay job at being a gift to Endless Ranks of the Dead, but I think the fact that it just exists to let players break the games is just as much fun as it is anguish.
@partlycloudy-patlyfuckoff - Affliction Accolyte
I’m very happy you resubmitted, because I like this card much more. This serves as a great gift to Pharika, giving her fuel to keep making snakes, and being a creature itself means it can fuel her itself. I like the cost and the body at uncommon, but I have one nitpick and one big issue. First, the mill effect should say “mill a card” not “mill 1.” The big issue is that this is a little a little too quadratic. I think this card would have been perfect if it just had the constellation ability itself, sort of like the TBD constellation cards, but instead it grants it to every enchantment. That means that, assuming you just have pharika out, if you activate her twice, you get to mill 5 and make your opponent lose 5 life. Each enchantment effectively makes your opponent lose life equal to the number of enchantments you control. That’s really, really strong, and gets out of hand really fast. A little too fast if you ask me. But! The effect is nice, the text is nice, I like how you made it a centaur like Pharika’s chosen instead of the more obvious snake or gorgon, and it’s really cool. Just a bit too unwieldy.
@reaperfromtheabyss - Behemoth Territory
AAAH Land that taps for two mana! RUN!... Sorry, just had to get that out of the way. So it’s a striclty better jungle shrine, which is a good but not amazing card, but the upside on this is it taps for a lot if you control a behemoth. I think the clearest comparison is to Eldrazi Temple or Shrine of the Forsaken Gods; lands that tap for two mana but only for big spells that really need it. Five power is definitely a huge ask, and when you compare Bonder’s Enclave to Arch of Orazca, Wizards seems to think a big creature is harder to have then 10 permanents, so maybe this being easier to get to than Shrine is... fine? And, most importantly, this lets you use your really big creature to get MORE really big creatures! This makes perfect sense as a gift to Mayael, and I’m sure she would appreciate it. It is a shame she can’t use it on her own, though.
@scavenger98 - Dara, Muse of Spontaneity
A gift to Bell Borca, a card I sort of forgot existed. So the idea behind this card is that it’s supposed to sort of “hold on” to cards exiled temporarily by red impulse draw effects. I don’t really feel that is red, since the whole point of impulse draw is that it is temporary, but I guess it still is because you can only do it while she’s alive. I dunno, this card seems like a really harsh bend in what red should do, and it doesn’t really do anything else. And the payoff isn’t even that great. I think Bell Borca might like this card, but I’m just not a fan.
@snugz - Biased Redistribution
HOLY MOLY. So far as do-nothing enchantments go, this one is pretty ridiculous! You said this was a card for Kambal, and while I do get that, I think it is much, much stronger with cards like Zulaport Cutthroat. Normally, if you have the cutthroat and three other creatures and they all die at once, you gain 4 and deal 4 to each opponent. With this out, instead you deal 10 and gain 10. That’s crazy! And though triggers aren’t triggered by combat damage or lifelink, they do affect the count. So f you hit a player with a 1/1 double striker, then the situation above happened, they’d lose 18 additional life. Now, perhaps I’m blowing this out of proportion, and this is all magical Christmas land. I still think this is close to a damage doubler (or at least a Torbran effect) and therefore too cheap, but I also think it’s maybe build-aroundy enough to be fine. What makes it hard to declare a winner, though is just how messy the card is. The fact that you can up the count without triggering it, the fuzziness on how damage would interact with it (damage causes loss of life, but at that point is it still the ability causing it?), the memory and tracking issues, the fact that you can have multiple... it just makes the card very hard to use.
@stormtide-leviathan - Chained Firecat
When I saw this I assumed it was another fling card, but then you said it was for, of all things, Winds of Qal Sisma. Fate Reforged is possibly my favorite set, and I definitely remember that card, and always wished it put in more work than it did. At first I thought defender was just put on it to drop the cost, sort of like frost walker, and to make ferocious easier to obtain. But then I realized that, because wids is a fog, it is really only useful when blocking anyway! I also really appreciate that you put it at uncommon because of the ability of high-power defenders to stall the game. It shows a real care for the craft. While I think there are other cards that were a little cooler or a little better designed, this might be my personal favorite of the week.
@thing1of2c - Jodah’s Mirror
So, the name gave away who this is for, but the submission said this is a gift from a lore perspective, and is something Jodah used to help wash the sadness of immortality from his memories. Harsh. As for the card, at first I thought it looked really weird, and it still does, but I eventually realized how this works. Looking at the top is free, and always nice. The second ability should only really be used if your hand sucks or is empty, but that happens all the time, so that’s fine. At first I assumed it only let you cast the one card on top, but this actually gives you a temporary future sight. With that in mind, I think the card is pretty neat. It has very narrow usage, and requires a decent amount of mana to really take advantage of, but it’s a unique and possibly powerful effect. My two nitpicks are that I wish the hand came back at the next turns upkeep (since there will be a window where you’ll have your hand and the effect during the end step), and I don’t think this would be a mythic in this day and age. A couple years ago maybe, but we get this as static effects for four mana nowadays.
@whuh-oh - Tomb of the Primordial
So this one was just a text entry but I made a mockup, and I think I can hazard a guess at which Primordial this was made for: the sepulchral one! This is another one of those incredibly narrow cards, but I think it just nearly gets there. Milling 6 is a great way to get more fuel for reanimating, and making them lose three life (it should be “lose 3 life” btw) is a nice way to maybe eventually close out the game. The cheap and generic cost helps make this as easy to cast as possible to make up for its very narrow usage. I just think that this card isn’t quite enough of a payoff. It hink if it drew a card each time, or maybe had a tap ability, it would get just enough of a push to be worth the card slot. I think this needs to be the type of card that either wins the game in a turn or two, or makes up for all the turns of setup it took to get your primordial into play.
@wolkemesser - Hekara, the Encore
Funnily enough, in the lore, Hekara was at one point a literal gift to Rakdos. In this case, though, you said this card is a gift to One with Nothing, and it shows! Getting this into the graveyard is way more powerful than just playing her, though honestly just playing her is pretty good too. If I’m being honest, you could remove any line of text from this card and it would still be good, and you could remove a second and it would still be playable. Zero mana reanimation, even conditionally, is really, really good, which is why in most cases you either get a lousy bloodghast or a vanilla 3/3 prized amalgam. It’s pretty easy to get empty handed in a normal game of magic, ad even more so in a dredge-deck. I think you could have maybe focused this more into a gift for One with nothing to drop the power a bit, perhaps if the ability cost 5 but had “this costs 1 less to activate for each card you’ve discarded this turn.” Still strong, but not busted.
~
And that’s everyone! Goodnight everybody!
-Mod Mr. ShinyObject
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Day 313
Well, first of all: Holy Shit. It's almost been a year since everything collapsed.
Actually, no. Fuck that. I had a couple months of peace but August, September, December and January were all fucked bc you couldn't keep your mouth shut. I'm so conviced that if you had never told me you loved me, I would be fine by now. I would have accepted that you were never hiding anything, you just didn't love me, and moved on with my life. But knowing that you did want me only made things worse. It's what I thought I wanted to hear but it just messed everything up so much more.
It's been an interesting time, and I suppose before I go into any of my recent revelations, I should detail the more recent events:
You couldn't help but play nice during Christmas. I kind of knew it was coming, I won't lie. I knew you weren't blocked on my Whatsapp, and I just knew in my gut something was gonna happen. And it did. You apologized. And in that moment I just wanted to die. I cried infront of my newly made friends (it wasn't pretty). For just a moment I thought you realized what you'd done and I almost let you off the hook. But I didn't say anything for two weeks. And then in a drunken ramble I replied exaclty what I felt. I really deeply regret that conversation. I meant every word I said, but I was just so caught up in my own sadness and anger that I just exploded. But I guess it's always the case- you're always gonna regret something in those kinds of situations. We haven't talked since then, and I've come really really close to reaching out.
Then, you found me on tiktok. At that point I knew you were on the app, didn't block you. I always leave a thread to follow just in case. You followed me, liked a few videos. One of them was about you giving me and eating disorder which tbh I cannot justify. But that's when I saw that there's another girl. Also foreign, also artsy. surprise surprise. Playlists on spotify, trips to Brighton, Van Gogh exhibitions. Everything I ever wanted and fantasized about, you were giving to another girl. I don't think I've cried liked that in a while. Its just so insane how I can know so deeply in my heart that you were never good for me and that I did the right thing for a few weeks and then almost reach out the next. Every time I think I'm over it, it comes back and hits me like a train.
But I didn't reach out, and instead I started going to therapy so...yay me I guess. But anyways, onto the revelations:
I am so immensely lonely. I knew coming back home for break was gonna be hard, and it has, but therapy has actually helped me out. I know what to look out for, I know how to look at things in a different way now. And one of them is you. Or, me missing you. It really isn't a coincidence that I only really miss you when I'm bored, with too much time to waste, and especially at night. It makes since that right now, at a time where I don't really have any other sources for that, my mind turns to you. I don't want to be this way. I don't want to want attention or validation from men. But it makes sense. Daddy Issues should be a real psychological diagnosis, because I'd be the poster child (lol that was kind of a pun).
I try to think of what I want from you, what I miss, and it's literally just attention. validation. cute comments that felt extra special because of how rare they were (god I was trained like a dog). I do miss getting to know you, but it's definitely not the focus of my thoughts. They are far more selfish. I kind of hate that I'm realizing that though, because it makes me think that any realtionship I might end up in or any romantic interaction I'll ever have will be purely for my own benefit, and that just feels wrong.
Thing is, I feel like for now, I'd rather try and find another guy that can give me that, than to stay single and keep looking over my shoulder at you while pretending I'm getting better at it and working on myself. I do have a target in mind, but we'll see how it goes. But yeah, it's just kind of cliché at this point: girl who thinks she's never going to be loved keeps looking back at the only example she has had to prove otherwise.
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((yes hello welcome back to me rambling about the Fell Dragon Grima, on our last episode we talked about how Grima is just a large angry child who looks big but only because they ended up in a few blood pacts against their will and it gave them more power than they could reasonably handle. in dragon years, if you count all their alive years, they are still pretty much really young.
and like most of their relationships have been sort of bad. their dad was a crazy scientist trying to create perfect life and well look at how they turned out dad thanks Forneus. he pretty much drove them crazy giving them his blood and then they probably killed him. then they just had a bunch of zombies as friends, and then some other humans came and killed them, so that didn’t exactly leave a good impression on them for the rest of humanity.
then they were sort of in a spirit-y form since they weren’t exactly dead. but they didn’t have the power to return to a physical form and humans sort of kept invoking them on accident and asking for things and they’d oblige, but get nothing in return and then they were tossed aside. this also did not leave a very good impression on them. finally a human came around that made another blood pact with them, which revived them but in the process made them kind of angrier because that pact was to destroy Ylisse. it also made them bigger so now they’re an even bigger big baby.
AND THEN THEY MEET NAGA))
they’re pretty desperate for an out when they meet Naga. not in a wanting-to-die sort of way but in a please-help-me-humans-suck sort of way. but Naga sees the good in humans and helps them deal with Grima! yay for the humans! except now Grima is really hateful towards even their own kind and they just feel really alone in the world and they decide they just want to destroy humanity. but first they have to destroy Ylisse! but Naga sort of fucks that up for them too and they die again
then they’re back to that not-perma-dead-but-not-really-alive state, the Grimleal and Plegia begin to exist. and the Grimleal worship them as a god of annihilation which honestly disgusts them because the humans just wish destruction on each other and everything they deserve what they ask for.
when they come back to life it’s in the form of Robin and all their anger and hatred just overwhelms the poor tactician. Robin leaks out sometimes, but isn’t very present overall... until Morgan is born. now, Grima wasn’t considering keeping Morgan, because they hated humans, why would they want a small one of their own? as a pet or something? but then they see him and they’re
overwhelmed
partially by Robin’s feelings, but also... he’s so small and innocent. it would be a mercy to kill him because by the time he’s born the world is on its way to sucking really bad. but... they can protect him, can’t they? they have this army of humans - who they’re keeping alive in part because they’re loyal to them and useful for now but plan on disposing of once any threats to their wellbeing are out of the way - so they can manage to juggle raising him and ending the world. they will protect him like nobody protected them. like nobody could.
they love him, so much, and still do.
of course, they’re heartbroken when he’s ripped away. they know he won’t remember them, and by the time they find him in the past he’s happy with the Shepherds. they will always love him, but... they also know that it is unlikely he will side with them after having been with Robin. they accept the loss. they are unwilling to toss aside their plans for their love of one being who will never love them again.
they loathe Lucina, though in the event they interact with her Robin slips out sometimes. she tries really hard to help her daughter by fighting from the inside but is rarely successful. as she’s the last one who would willingly wield Falchion against them and manages to slip away from them so often, they love to torment her using her brother and by killing Shepherds and innocent people alike.
as for their RP supports
they adopt Sara because she’s got nobody, and aims to protect her, too. but they also know how she’ll react once finding out they’re sort of the Fell Dragon and brace themself for the inevitable. it’s very much a similar situation as with Morgan, and in the event Sara does stay with them they will do whatever it takes to keep her safe.
they really like other Grimas bc they feel like other Grimas are relatable and despite them not all being completely alike they just! really enjoy the company of other Grimas! also they have a soft spot for Morgans and certain other dragons, like a certain Kamui
and then there’s MOTHERFUCKING AKIRA
they don’t know how to feel about him. at first he was just obnoxious. but then they felt like he was relatable. but HE’S A HUMAN HOW CAN HE BE RELATABLE? but the way he acts and some of the things he says make them feel like they understand him. and maybe he could understand them. so they kind of make attempts here and there to reach out to him which he avoids and they’d probably do the same if he made similar efforts tbh because both of them are so. the way they are. they’re fond of him at this point but they don’t really understand it and it makes them confused and annoyed.
...also they probably considered stabbing him or something after murdering those guys, but resisted, just. just throwing that out there. they get very carried away and because of how conflicted he makes them feel they definitely thought about it for a second.
okay that’s all i’m gonna go see if i can stomach some food or something bye
#ooc ;; mun#ooc ;; headcanons#((this got long but I will tag people whose characters are mentioned#fatefelled#silxntwildfirx#princessoffell
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Annual Writing Self-Evaluation
*All answers should be about works published in 2017.
I’ve been tagged by @inrainbowz! Thanks for giving me an occasion to blab about my writing to the world :D
1. List of works published this year:
So, according to AO3 I wrote 224132 words in 2017. But tbh I’ve not been very productive, I only wrote a few chapters for two WIP (still unfinished) and a single one-shot. The rest is the exact same stuff, but translated into english. Take a look:
One Video Man (One Vidéo Man in french): This is a Youtube!AU fic for the One Punch Man fandom. I had this stupid idea about a AU where everyone is human, in our world, and every character runs a Youtube channel. That’s all. I just describe videos so the reader feels like they’re watching this on Youtube. I have no plan, no scenario, no nothing. But the thing is, I encourage my readers to post fake Youtube comments for the characters to answer, and to give me some ideas about what should happen next and what kind of video I should write. So yeah, it’s kind of a fun experience, and I like trying new stuff and interact with my readers (I did something a bit like this for a spn fic a few years ago). But I’m so slow at updating, my readers are dying with frustration lol.
Albion’s last bulwark (Le dernier rempart d’Albion in french): This is a BBC Merlin fic, and actually it is a sequel for my fic Le dernier souffle de Kilgharrah I have yet to translate into english. It can be read separately, though. It is a resurrection fic in Arthur’s point of view. He comes back to life in our world today and realize he’s lost his kingdom, his wife, everything, and Merlin looks like an old man and is obviously not so happy about his return. I wanted them to struggle to get their relation back. I wanted Arthur to feel lost and alone. This fic is filled with angst and is merthur. I still have about 5 chapters to write & translate to complete it.
A cheap spell (Un sort au rabais in french): I wrote this short Merthur OS just for funsies and I also made a drawing here. Basically Arthur went missing and everyone is worried sick (especially Merlin) and looking for him everywhere... but Arthur is right there under their noses, only turned into a toad and frustrated because no one recognizes him. Well it’s not much, but it was fun to write.
2. Work you are most proud of (and why):
Definitely Albion’s last bulwark (Le dernier rempart d’Albion in french). You have no idea. This fic is my precious, my everything. I’m pouring my whole soul in it. I could talk about it all day. This is the fic that made me want to get better in english just so I could translate it at some point.
Why? Because CloudFactory and I have been thinking about it for years before I even started writing it. I do all the writing, but we made out the story together, we thought every little detail through, and she’s my betareader both in french and in english. Because we worked hard to get the characterization right. Because I had been dying to read a resurrection fic in which Merlin has been deeply changed by centuries of living in a changing world, so I decided to write it myself. I wanted a Merlin who went through some rough stuff that had nothing to do with Arthur at all. I wanted a Merlin living like an hermit, but not because he’s waiting for Arthur to return, but for a totally different reason. Because I wanted Arthur to grieve for Camelot, for Gwen, for his past life. Because I wanted Arthur to return for a very serious reason, because Albion truly is in danger. Also, because dragons. In this fic, Merlin has a bunch of dragons, including a baby one, I love writing them.
So yeah, I’m so fucking proud of this fic and I will cry tears of pure joy once I complete it.
3. Work you are least proud of (and why):
Well I’m kinda proud of everything I wrote in 2017, but if I really have to pick one, I’d say A cheap spell (Un sort au rabais in french) because, well, I wrote it quickly and I felt the merthur was bit rushed and OOC. But that’s because I’m the kind of author who usually needs at least 10 chapters to bring some romance, so... Also, writing crack is fun, but I’m way better at writing angst.
4. A favorite excerpt of your writing: Okay so I’ll follow @inrainbowz‘s example and show one in french first, then one in english. But only for my fic Albion’s last bulwark (Le dernier rempart d’Albion in french), because yup, I’m really really proud of it.
Voilà un petit extrait en français, du dernier chapitre en date pour Le dernier rempart d’Albion :
- Et nous nous sommes rencontrés ?
Freya esquissa un pâle sourire qu’Arthur n’aurait su qualifier d’amusé ou triste.
- Oui. Tu es celui qui m’as tuée.
Arthur eut une inspiration de surprise et ses yeux s’écarquillèrent.
- Quoi ?
- Laisse-moi te rafraîchir la mémoire…
Lorsqu’une main creva la surface du lac, suivie d’un poignet gracile et d’un bras nu, Arthur se recula vivement et tomba assis, le souffle coupé. Le reflet de Freya soulevait la nappe d’eau et sa tête émergea à son tour, ses cheveux ruisselant sur son visage, ses épaules et sa poitrine à peine couvertes d’une robe en lambeaux. Le cœur battant à tout rompre, Arthur déglutit et s’efforça de rester calme et de ne pas dégainer Excalibur face à ce spectacle aussi terrifiant qu’époustouflant. Car ce corps qui avait surgi jusqu’à la taille et se penchait à présent sur lui la main tendue, il était translucide, uniquement composé d’eau.
And now another one, in english this time:
Merlin steadied his stance and turned a dark and hateful glare at Arthur. His cheeks seemed hollower and his cheekbones sharper now that he had turned back to his young self. The look on his face was frightening, full of rage.
"Merlin, pull yourself back together!" Arthur ordered, striding right to him. "Don't make me knock you out!"
There was a heavy aura surrounding Merlin when he raised an open hand toward Arthur.
Everything happened very fast. The shock wave that hit him threw him back with a staggering blow, tearing his feet away from the ground. He crashed into the glass doors, smashing them to pieces, and pain flared in his back. He might have lost consciousness for a few seconds. When he opened his eyes again, he was lying on the concrete strewn with sharp glass fragments and the wounds on his back had reopened, soaking his t-shirt with blood.
He cut his palms on the shards trying to get up, but he clenched his teeth and ignored the pain. There would be plenty of time to worry later about how dizzy he felt and his vision starting to blur. For now, the urgency was Merlin.
5. Share or describe a favorite comment you received:
Okay so I had never once received a comment on AO3 for my fic Le dernier rempart d’Albion because well, french readers are pretty rare on this website and most of them prefer to read in english anyway. And when I started translating it into english, I got a very enthusiastic comment of someone who loved it. And she wanted to know what happened next so bad, she couldn’t wait for me to translate, so she went and read the next chapters in french, even though her french was rusty and she couldn’t understand everything. I had never been so happy reading a comment. That someone enjoyed the story so much they made the effort to read it in french... Yeah, this made my whole year :D And she still reads both the french version and english translation, waiting for each new chapter. Best reader ever. I love her. <3
6. A time when writing was really, really hard:
From august to december, biggest writing block ever. I had no motivation, no inspiration, no energy and I think it had to do with work and real life being crazy, but also because CloudFactory was very busy, so I had no cheerleader to force me to write lol.
7. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:
Probably ever character in One Video Man? I control nothing in this fic, I just get carried away by my readers’ ideas and the inspiration of the moment.
8. How did you grow as a writer this year:
I think I started to understand that I should not be so hard on myself. I’m a perfectionist, so sometimes it blocks my writing when I’m putting a lot of pressure on myself to get it perfect on the first draft. I think I made a lot of progress in descriptions too.
9. How do you hope to grow next year:
I hope I’ll be able to write faster and to stop procrastinating. I need to use less adjectives too.
10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):
CloudFactory ( @less-life-and-more-dream ) and Jackallh ( @geek-trough-time-and-space ) are the best. I just have to chat with them about my fics, and yay! Ideas! Inspiration! Motivation! Also tumblr and the Merlin fandom inspire me every day new ideas :p
11. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:
When Merlin brings Arthur in London, I used some real life experience, since I’ve been in London for my 30 years birthday with @less-life-and-more-dream, @geek-trough-time-and-space and @dupond-and-dupont. The fish n’ chips I described in the fic, also Hyde’s park and its geese, all came from my happy memories :D
12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:
Don’t thrive for perfection. Just do your best, and even if you hate it, you can still edit later. You WILL get better by writing, it’s a slow process, but for this to happen you have to write.
13. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:
First, I have to complete Albion’s last bulwark and One Video Man, both in french and english. Also in a few months I’ll post my translation in english for Albion’s last bulwark’s prequel: Le dernier souffle de Kilgharrah. Then, I plan to write a prequel to Le dernier souffle de Kilgharrah, about the days, months and years just after Arthur died. The whole story will be a trilogy in the end! :D
I consider taking back one of my old abandoned WIP too (I have a Supernatural fic and a Whitechapel ITV fic uncompleted), but I’m not sure I’ll have the time for it. I have AT LEAST three other Merlin fanfics I really reaaaaaally want to write.
14. Tag five writers/artists whose answers you’d like to read.
@creepywonderland-pony @dupond-and-dupont @andersandrew @istadris @always-keep-writing and whoever wants to do this!
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Words of Validation
So, since day one of fic writers week is words of validation, I get a chance to rant about all the nice comments I’ve received this year!
First of all, I need to talk a bit about More of an Aminta, because I received more positive feedback on that fic than I’ve ever received on any other fic. And let’s be honest, More of an Aminta is kind of an odd fic. I threw a lot of weird stuff at my readers: rare pair OT3! Piangi is a mentor! Raoul learning opera! People being cuffed to organs and hand-fed bread and cheese! METATEXTUAL ANALYSIS OF AN OPERA THAT DOESN’T EXIST! And everything that I threw, y’all just fucking caught and you picked it apart with even more analysis, not to mention so much kindness and praise that I’d get an adrenalin rush of excitement every time I got a comment notification email: What will it say this time? I got so much in-depth feedback on pretty much every chapter. I mean, before this fic I only ever wrote one fic of this length, and it only ever received 21 comments--you guys gave me seventy-fucking-seven threads. It was amazingly motivational. Even months later I’m still riding that high.
Special mention here to @general-sleepy @chris--daae @christine-is-a-cinnamon-roll @meadowlarkx @alyndra9 @drabblesanddaydreams and those guests who called themselves Mary and Jess. There were some other regulars but I can’t find them all (much less tag them on tumblr) so yeah, there you go.
In general I would say the Phantom of the Opera fandom has given me really nice feedback on my oneshots as well. @macgyvertape is basically the reason I write Carlotta/Christine, for example. @tatselk ‘s comment on Let Me in or Strike Me Down is, tbh, the only reason said Pharoga fic has a sequel. @general-sleepy regularly validates my decision to make Erik creepy as often and as much as possible. And all the rest of y’all-you’re all awesome. I’m not quoting specific comments here because there are too many of them.
Moving on. (But I’m going to put the rest under a cut because this post is gonna get kind of long.)
I’ve only written a few fics for the Dollhouse fandom but there my muse is @imaginationallcompact (or Solovey on AO3). Here I think I can spare the space to quote her review of Find Out What You Want.
“I also really like this it sort of captures the whole tone of Adelle post-disillusionment. She's just sort of apathetic and disconnected but it's paired with a sort of loss. She's stuck on her hair drying funny but it's paired with washing away another human connection. I also think the contrast of the beginning with Adelle being sort of the aggressor to the end where she's literally naked and trapped and Caroline is using physical intimacy to hurt her works really well for this fic (and as a character study). Also I think you've done an interesting job here with Caroline. On the one hand she's Caroline at her most irritating but at the same time she's assuming this role in a way that I would generally associate with Echo. I'm also curious what you think brought Caroline to this place? Because Caroline before Echo is sort of horribly self-righteous in that black and white absolutely no grey in the world sort of way. What do you think brought her to the point that she could sleep with Adelle to get info and seemingly without any qualms given the way she deliberately humiliates her at the end?”
GODDAMN SON THAT IS SOME CHARACTER ANALYSIS SHIT RIGHT THERE. (ok sorry I got carried away but I love when people analyze my fics.)
What else? When I wrote Predestination fic earlier this year I got exactly two commenters, but one of them was @lnich (the recipient of the fics) who said on one of them:
“Yay, Predestination fic! (I'm thrilled to hear you watched it for this, and I'm glad you liked it!) He’d once filled far too many pages writing about the circumstances under which some future John had dropped in for a quick handjob.
This is . . . perfect. First of all, I could so see this happening, and secondly, I love how this fic fills in the timeline with a whole bunch of affectionate meetings between the Fizzle Bomber and John. Somehow it makes their relationship better to have interacted more often, but also more messed up at the same time, you know? And that's obviously what I'm here for :-DThe particular meeting you've written here is such a lovely h/c scene, very sweet and satisfying even on its own, but a detail I especially liked was when you switched to John's perspective the next morning and his first thought is "At least I didn't throw up." AND THEN you switched to the Unmarried Mother being so cynical and disillusioned that an anonymous kind gesture gets thrown in the trash :-P It's such a perfect piece of characterization!”
Which was. Really nice. (not to mention the prompts for that fic were kind of great, but I won’t go into it.)
@fucktheg0ds and @haljathefangirlcat are my Marco Polo femslash commenters. Such a niche, I’m surprised two such nice people found their way into it!
And last, but not least, this week I’ve received some lovely comments on my Gattaca fics from a guest named Avocado, which are really inspiring to me and make me want to write for Gattaca again.
THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR COMMENTS! YOU MAKE WRITING BETTER FOR ME! And by making me love writing more, you make me love life more as well. I’m so happy to have found you within the fannish community (or that you found me as the case may be) and grateful for all that you do.
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081217 & 091217
Dear Diary,
TGIF because I had no school yay. 🙃🙃
Twas quite a boring day for me. I was mentally prepared to interact and surround myself with humans, but the last-minute lesson cancellations threw me off guard -- I didn’t know how to adjust.
I woke up too early. I felt deprived of companionship and distractions the entire afternoon. I found myself waiting for text backs. Being in such a chill environment led me to feel unmotivated to do any work. 😕
Eventually, in the late afternoon, my secondary school friend came online and we Skyped. Upon seeing my smile, the first thing she blurted out was, “Hey _____, wassup, so cute.” 🤗 Tbh I feel ugly & hideous every day, so it makes me wonder what my friends see in me that they think is “cute”... I suppose everyone has varying perceptions of “cute”.
I cooked my own dinner, then had a short, impromptu meet-up with her (and her sister) at a pasar malam (night market). I treated myself to some savoury, pan-fried pandan tapioca cakes -- they’re sinfully oily, crispy & marginally charred on the surface, and possessed a sweet undertone.
Afterwards, I spent the entire night Skyping my two close friends from school (I didn’t update yesterday because I got too carried away in conversation), and it suddenly hit me that I wasn’t feeling lonely & restless anymore. This is how my day should’ve gone -- spending time with my favourite people; they know how to keep my mind off of things when I couldn’t. It’s unhealthy how much I depend my happiness on them.
Today’s a chilly day. As usual, my Saturday is pretty mundane (and unproductive) so far, but I’ve made plans with my friend (which I rarely do on weekends) for the evening. We will be having dinner together before going to Esplanade to watch a bunch of (free) choir performances. I’m pretty hyped for that, especially since one of the performances is my school’s Voice Ensemble. Since I’ve been considering to join them, this performance will certainly be the deciding factor. 🙂
Here’s another (somewhat) interesting thing happening in my life right now: Not long ago, I signed myself up for this Secret Santa pokémon drawing thingy. Basically, I was tasked to do a pokémon drawing request for an anonymous person. Said anon will also draw the pokémon of my choice. On X’mas eve, the drawings will be “exchanged” (we were to submit the drawing into the folder specifically for this event) and our identities would be revealed.
Now, you may ask, “Why did you sign yourself up for death this?” I kinda wanted to go back to doing art, and this is a brilliant opportunity for me since it’s encouraging/motivating and rewarding. Thus, I will be spending the first week of my school holidays diligently drawing. Hohoho, I can keep myself occupied when I feel lonely. :”) I pray that everything goes smoothly.
~Flameaura
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all the things for the get to know the mun meme !
¯\_(ツ)_/¯: do you have any tumblr friends? if so, who are they?: A few? I guess it’s a loaded topic cause I’m not sure what qualifies/who is like ‘oh yeah that idiot over there’s my friend’. Naming names seems extreme. But I bet the guilty parties know who they are. 2 of which have literally put up with me for years now.
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): relationship status?: Single, an fool with no dating savvy. Consider testing my luck on apps for lols occasionally though.
ಠ_ಠ: what is your biggest pet peeve?: There’s a few but I’m generally pretty too chill. Like if somebody’s doing something I find annoying generally I’m like ‘-’
(ಥ_ಥ): finish this: i hate it when…: I hate it when people think they’re opted out of being gross, or hateful just because they’re lgbt+. That popular posters in fandoms tend to be all ‘wow I’m Woke’ but fill the tags with gross content. And I should get paid for it because wow then I’d be able to live a great life, donate to good causes,etc.
Like the sheer amount of times I literally have seen ‘I’m a wlw so its fine if I really sexualize mlms, trans men’ is- scary. Not to mention the ones who are all ‘I mean but like is the f slur really that bad?’. Like basically can people respect each other??? Or could I at least make money for their gross behavior- to at least like fund people’s transitions,etc.
ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ: what is your favorite animal?: I have to pick.. Beta fish; emotionally speaking fish mean a lot to me. Otherwise I like cats, dogs, eucalyptus parrots.
(☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ ☜(ﾟヮﾟ☜): who is someone you can tell everything to?: Nobody, I’m not good at human interaction/feel very limited in confiding because a fair amount of everything around me’s so messed up and I’ve hurt people even vaguely mentioning it cause it’s like ‘oh shit that’s messed up’.
(づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ: are you a hugger?: Depends. Like I’d totally love hugs if I was initiating them/certain people and same with just like sprawling across a lap like ‘look I’m cuuute fight me’. Because I’m touch starved; somebody give me basic affection. I’d like to be but also I’ve had hugs, touch used as manipulation tactics. Not in the way people would think either.
Like then other factors but I take comfort in one armed hugs where possible. But goal ideally at some point I’m certainly going to be like ‘I offer and receive affection fight me- platonically especially screw ‘traditional’ nonsense’
(╯°□°)╯︵ ʞooqǝɔɐɟ: besides tumblr, do you have any other social media?: Depends what classifies. I’ve got a newish fb for my future. Meaning to start i.nsta up for real (I like taking dumb pics even if I don’t have a fancy camera available/phone camera that’s decent). Then just like various this or that. Meaning to start up a yt. Got d.iscord though I rarely use it.
﴾͡๏̯͡๏﴿?: how old are you?: Almost 19 which like honestly given I’ve had to be the adult in rooms, most my life and things- feels more like going on late twenties. Plus nobody ever interacts with me like ‘oh wow you’re not that old’ because of it. Though I certainly look 19 most likely cause I got hormonally screwed for now.
(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻: what are your thoughts on school?: Education, learning and growing is important. However there is plenty flaws in the system at times. But most of all I hate the attitude society can have about it, about ‘drop outs’ . There’s this assumption I’m never going to live any sort of life, that I must have stopped attending for stupid reasons. Cause high school is easy, online school too right? There’s that option.
That I can’t learn things, cause if you’re not in school/with some stupid piece of paper saying ‘you tested well congrats’ you’re adverse to learning. Not educated. Like I had lost my ability to even pass, or do anything. Mentally I was in a whole sort of other hell that nobody should ever know. I’ve got literal amnesia from how depressed I was. That while being told to absorb new information, trying but I couldn’t was hell.
The terrifying thought of the crowded graduation ceremony, hearing the name that made my skin crawl and yet another dumb piece of paper with that printed on it? Didn’t help. I think it can be lovely, that people certainly need to learn things and have that. That I admire people who pull through it/willingly go through intensive college,etc. Personally I’ll do my ged when I’m in a better place, or something but I chose life/hope to get better then and I still am putting getting better first.
| (• ◡•)| (❍ᴥ❍ʋ): favorite tv show?: I have too many tbh. S.hadowhunters, T.ua, Tales Of The C.ity *the new n.etflix show*, n.bc’s Constantine, Faking I.t, F.ringe, s.yfy’s Almost H.uman, B.elieve *whatever network did it*, just to name a few.
(ง'̀-‘́)ง: are you okay?: Not really- working on it though so like it’s whatever
(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ✧: sexual orientation?: I’d jokingly say complicated but.. Gay, asexual. I really really like guys and well details aren’t necessary in the latter department but the sexy isn’t appealing to me. It’s just like ‘meh’ literally.
┬┴┬┴┤(･_├┬┴┬┴: are you a people person or a loner?: Loner, though I’m also a people person want to be/tend to be by accident? Supposedly I have an attractive personality. I’ve always had people, kids just chat at me even if I didn’t know them,etc. I can be sitting grumpily in a corner and an old lady is like ‘do you perhaps know the time’ instead of to anybody else. Etc. Honestly it’s a ? type of situation/answer. But I do best with myself/prefer my mediocre company to like challenging my anxiety,etc for sure.
ლ(ಠ益ಠლ): do you have any siblings?: Two brothers, one sister. And I’m the second oldest but truthfully basically the eldest. Really complicated relationships. The eldest, I actually literally refuse to interact with most the time. Because of all the abuse and stuff that happened. Like even after apologizing, supposedly feeling bad- still screws me over at times.
ಠ╭╮ಠ: have you ever self harmed?: Big time, I’m clean now for the most part because I mean technically anything harmful to you done purposely,etc counts as it… But like yeah for years it was terrible and sometimes I still get the urges,etc. Like I’m recovered generally to a point it’s like ‘oh wow I don’t know how long its been since I was doing that, when I last did it’.
(づ￣ ³￣)づ: have you ever been in love?: Well that version of thinking you are when you’re young. Or trying to convince yourself that you are. So I guess. But on the other hand not really.
(☞ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞: would you rather be hugged by a bunny or kissed by a doe?: Hugged by a bunny, I mean both sound adorable but I’ve had a bunny rest its head on my knee before so like that speaks for itself.
(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻: how do you let your anger out?: I usually don’t? Like whats a coping mechanism for 100? I’ve seen too much anger issues so generally, also being soft spoken I really don’t act. Venting into the void be it a mental health app, or some blog usually does the trick. Or listening to music, writing it into poems,etc.
ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ: are you active?: Not really, I want to be/for the right reasons at some point for sure. For now it’s usually sporadic like ‘eh I guess I can do a few things health! yay!’
ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪: what are your favorite band(s)/artist(s)?: Sooo many… C.OIN, Mother M.other, W.eareskydive, Seth C.orbin, M.allrat, L D.evine, The L.umineers, L.IGHTS, A.nna Clendening, B.astille, The R.egrettes, A.JR, F.LETCHER, W.rabel, G.erard Way/M.CR. Cavetown. Ryan A.rmdor. T.ransviolet. E.DEN. Classic rock artists… the list goes on for ages.
（╯°□°）╯︵(\ .o.)\: who is your least favorite person?: Real life? Online? Celebrities? Can’t pick, don’t feel can single just 1 person out regardless/bit cruel to have somebody top that list alone.
♥‿♥: tell us about your crush!: uwu I don’t have one currently
◔̯◔: what time is it?: 8:54 PM
◕‿◕: what is your guilty pleasure?: Frosting with pretzels? Lots of salt. Junk food. Dancing around like an idiot to music.
◔ ⌣ ◔: are you a virgin?: Okay so I don’t quite believe in all the ‘virgin’ ‘first this or that’ nonsense cause like? Not going to go there but what is the clarification honestly… But yeah I’ve not done anything with anybody. Or kissed somebody just yet and that’s okay. Hell with the sexual crap it’s like bliss for me because also people can be so uneducated,etc like phew no worries for me in that department.
#thesunisalonetoo#long post cw#general cw#♥ i can’t breathe. 》 mun post#(Whelp this is- informative about me I guess- I'm only semi anxious about that...)#(I'm a human person clearly)
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Finding Kurt Hummel: Wonder-Ful
Masterpost
4x21: Wonder-Ful
Oh, hey, it’s the Steve Wonder tribute episode. And now that I think of it - it’s been a while since we’ve had any kind of tribute episode. Anyway - after what feels like forever, the really nice thing about this episode is that Kurt’s story really starts to get moving again. And it really doesn’t get put on pause again through the rest of the series. And that’s kind of nice.
Also interestingly - we’re at the end of season 4. And I’ve seen a lot of commentary on how a lot of season 4 and 5 seem to be one big season. I can see that - and yet, at the same time I think there are some definite tonal shifts between the two seasons. And I actually think that starts here.
There’s a lot about season 4 that’s dark, especially in the first half of the season. But for some reason, there’s a drabness to the season, especially on the New York side. And then starting here - because Ryan Murphy is an odd duckling and becomes obsessed with things like the color orange -- the show gets a new light, and becomes bright and colorful and cracky again. And I find that interesting that it comes after an episode called Lights Out. Like we turned out the lights and turned them back on to this much happier and brighter place.
Maybe the whole Shooting Star-Sweet Dreams-Lights Out stuff was meant to do that? Maybe not. I don’t really know. But what I do know is that tonally, this episode and the next feel more like they belong with season 5 even if they are wrapping up this season and even if the beginning of season 5 feels like an ending to this season. There are no clear cut lines anymore.
Coming Home
First of all -- let’s talk about the fact that Kurt has a Men of McKinley calendar. How do you think he got that? My thought is Tina, tbh.
So, Kurt’s packing to go back home -- my guess is that it’s spring break. (Based on the fact that Rachel is taking a midterm, this sounds about right.) And Burt’s going in for a check-up on the cancer. Kurt is - understandably - very anxious about the whole thing. He’s a kid who has already lost one parent, and the thought of losing the other one is unfathomable. But on top of that - Kurt and Burt have grown pretty close in the past few years, which would make the whole thing even more devastating.
I don’t think the development of OCD characteristics is completely out of nowhere. Kurt is a guy who, even like he says in this voice over, likes to be in control. And his dad having cancer is not something he can control. So the OCD manifests out of the anxiety. And, Kurt’s always been a particular person - it does make sense that he’d be even more so when under stress.
I feel like this opening sequence is important to understand Kurt’s state of mind. It’s clear how anxious and nervous and scared Kurt is about his dad’s health. And in the privacy of his own home, while alone, he shows it openly. But when he gets back to Lima, he’s much more collected and confident - the Kurt that the outside world is used to seeing.
Coming back to Lima means he gets to see everyone else, too. Which means Blaine. Cause - c’mon. Is he really there to see Artie or Tina or the Newbies? I mean really?
Kurt says it feels weird to see Blaine again - and he isn’t quite sure what he’s feeling. Well, I’m gonna quote @flamingmuse from her post here - cause I think she articulates what’s going on far better than I can, I think it’s exactly what’s going on:
“See, I don’t think Kurt does know how he feels about Blaine. His anger and pain have subsided, but he doesn’t feel the same way he used to. He doesn’t have that fluttery, giddy, young love, first love kind of feeling in his stomach. His heart doesn’t leap, his palms don’t sweat, his breath doesn’t catch just to see him. It’s not hard to look at Blaine anymore, but it’s not the same bubbly joy-filled experience, either.
Yet he looks at Blaine and is at peace. He is comfortable again, more trusting, more willing to let his guard down. He lets Blaine hold his hand, he links arms with him, he looks right into his eyes, he talks to him openly, he can even have sex with him without becoming the lovestruck, overwhelmed boy he used to be. He doesn’t know what that is. He doesn’t know what that means. All he knows is that it doesn’t hurt and it isn’t the same. It doesn’t feel like what it was like to be in love before.
He’s only experienced that first flush of love before, and he doesn’t know that all of this is love, too. He doesn’t know that if he lets Blaine in again he’ll remember how to catch fire and flirt and all of that but that it’ll be different now, more mature, a bit more weathered.
Kurt isn’t sure what he feels, because he doesn’t know that what he feels is a much more adult love.”
And I think this speaks to everything that goes on around this episode - and this time period. It’s a transitioning period - away from the pain of the break up, but also away from that young love feeling. Kurt (and Blaine) are growing up. And they still have a lot of learning to do, but we’re entering new territory here.
Kurt also is grateful he won’t be alone that week. He doesn’t just have Blaine -- but Mercedes and Mike are back, too. And Kurtcedes is definitely not dead as Kurt lights up when he hugs her. After all these years - Kurt has a firm support system, and it’s really nice to see.
I’m bypassing a lot of what’s going on in the choir room scene -- because Will’s back to teaching, and he’s already annoying me. Kurt takes on an old role as he spouts some of the exposition - explaining that Mercedes is back in town because she’s shooting a video for a possible record deal, and he also shuts Kitty down, which I don’t fully know how I feel about because I don’t think Kitty needs to be taken down. But - you know, last time Kurt and Kitty interacted, Kitty was whining about her ice latte being too cold, so I can see where it came from.
Meanwhile, Tina’s upset that Mercedes and Mike have been called in to help the Glee club. And she asks if Kurt’s back to help them with their fashion choices, to which Kurt deadpans that his dad has cancer. The best part is Blaine’s reaction - which is basically a ‘shut up Tina’ moment.
Dirty Cute
So - they’re back in the Lima Bean, which now has considerably better lighting, lol. And Blaine’s all excited about gay marriage. Hm. Wonder why? It’s nearing the end of the year, and Blaine’s finally getting to think about his future - going off to college, going to New York, the possibility of getting married. Yay - exciting times. But Kurt - Kurt’s settled on the present, on the reality that he has to face over his dad’s health. It’s funny - it’s like a reversal of the previous year - where Kurt was in the clouds about the future, and Blaine was more concerned about the present.
Anyway - the dirty cute line. Oh, Blaine, you are so awkward some times, and it’s adorable. Kurt says in his opening monologue that he’s not hooking up with Blaine this time. And I took that to mean that they’re not doing the whole ‘let’s be friends casual hook up’ thing anymore. But also, Kurt’s not in the right headspace at the moment. Yeah, he rolls his eyes a little at Blaine’s flirtatious comment. It’s not unwelcome, but it’s not just the right time, because Kurt’s got heavier things on his mind.
So - there’s a lot going on in this scene. While Mercedes joyfully bubbling about her album, Kurt is rearranging the sugar packets into little piles. And it’s something Blaine picks up on, because he knows Kurt - and this is not normal Kurt. (And Kurt is excited for Mercedes and her future prospects, even if he is distracted a bit himself.)
And then Mercedes asks what’s going on between Kurt and Blaine - cause she was at the wedding, and knew what was going down. We don’t actually get a Kurt reaction shot, but Blaine chimes in stating that they’re friends and that’s cool. Which is what Kurt’s standard line was from back in I Do. They might be talking again, but they haven’t had /that/ conversation yet - and Blaine knows not to push it - especially right now.
But Blaine also knows the ‘just friends’ thing is also not exactly correct. And in this scene, and in this episode, Kurt is acting differently around Blaine. He’s relaxed around Blaine - more so than he was, even, in I Do. That strange, awkward tension that’s been with them in the past isn’t there so much anymore. They’re in sync again - I mean, just look at how they react to Mike when he suggests changing Mercedes’s lyrics. The dynamic’s changing - not so much back to what it was, but moving forward together again.
Mike brings up the whole Tina thing with Blaine, and that’s when Kurt kind of loses it. Cause that’s trivial compared to what he’s going through. Mercedes reassures him - she holds his hand and tells him it’s going to be okay. And Blaine holds his hand as well -- and silently reassures him, in that secret language they have going. It’s a sweet little moment of (re)connection between the two of them.
Superstition
Okay - so there are really only two things I’d like to point out about this scene/performance -
1. This song is from Mercedes to Kurt - basically showering him with optimism and is her way of letting him know everything’s going to be fine.
2. Kurt and Blaine are dancing together again, and it’s cute. Kurt looks like he’s having a good time pretty much throughout the whole song.
Also - something I noticed doing this but this scene must take place in the morning - he goes to his dad’s appointment - and then sings to his dad later that afternoon. Because Kurt’s wearing the same outfit in all three of those scenes. Well then...
In Remission
Well - Carole’s probably the strongest person in that office. Kurt’s pacing and freaking out about Burt’s wardrobe choices - cause dark blue is close to black and black means death and no. And Burt’s having a hard enough time without Kurt freaking out on him. It’s probably a very rare thing for Burt to yell - but it’s a release of the stress more than it is actual anger.
So the doctor comes in and basically recounts what’s been going on. Interesting to note that Kurt says his dad has completely changed his diet. I’m guessing that even from New York - Kurt played a role in getting his dad to be healthy again. I mean, we’ve seen first hand how Kurt has taken care of his dad, I wouldn’t be surprised if Kurt was on the phone nearly every day making sure things were going smoothly.
So - the doctor says that the cancer is in remission, and we all sigh a breath of relief as Glee doesn’t take everyone’s favorite adult character from us.
Meanwhile, it’s loving hugs all around as they all celebrate. And Burt exclaims that he wasn’t done living yet - as there’s so much to do. He’d like to see Kurt get married and have kids. (Foreshadowing? Yes - that’s foreshadowing. I’m of mind the writers knew exactly where they were going with the story.) And have old people sex with Carole - to which Kurt is like ‘oh god’ amidst his happy tears. But Burt learns again - that it’s all about living in the moment.
And for Kurt - this is a huge, huge weight off his shoulders. His dad isn’t going anywhere. He’s so happy and relieved. His foundation is pretty solid. And because of that - he can turn his attention to other things...
But first -- Kurt would like to celebrate by singing a song to his dad, one that his dad used to sing to him when he was a kid.
He also mentions that he’d like to celebrate one of life’s greatest gifts - a second chance. And the camera pans to Blaine. I feel like they’re trying to tell us something ;)
While not a favorite Kurt solo - it’s adorable and sweet and Kurt does sound good on it. The choreography is a little ridiculous - but I can almost imagine a little Kurt coming up with all the dance movies a long time ago. And the whole point is that it’s a lot of fun - and that Burt just loves it.
(Man - I wish I had more to say about the number, but I just don’t. The lyrics are pretty straight forward - as it’s a song about how much Kurt loves his dad. And...that’s about it. Ah well.)
It’s a good day for Kurt :)
Mercedes
Man - it’s almost like season 3 Kurt is back with that hat. Maybe that’s the point? Maybe Kurt’s feeling like his old self again?
Anyway - he’s bopping along and having fun while Mike and Jake do their thing. And he seems happy. Man - when was the last time Kurt seemed happy (other than when watching old sitcoms with Santana).
We get into Mercedes’s subplot here - about how the record producers want her to look a certain way that she’s not comfortable with. And the fact that image means more than content in show business -- which is a good conversation to have, really. And Kurt (and Mike) are supportive and indignant on her behalf. And it’s nice to see Kurt get to help out someone who isn’t Rachel.
But importantly - while they’re friendship is rare and pretty much background these days - Kurt and Mercedes are still very good friends, and every interaction they have points to that in this episode. They’re supportive of each other, and they have each other’s backs - and it’s really nice to see.
Ah man the hoopla over this moment at the time. No, Kurt’s not blowing anyone kisses. But he is saying ‘what’s up’ to Blaine. Yay!
Anyway - Mercedes is gonna do her own record instead of comply to the producer’s demands. And she has Mike and Kurt passing out Mercedes’s CD (which, wow, did they burn those all last night or something?) - and Mercedes is gonna try to make it out on her own. Which is crazy hard but admirable.
And then Mercedes sings Higher Ground - and Kurt’s adorable again bopping along to her song. I kinda love by the end he’s wearing her jacket. They’re both so adorable.
Marriage
Alright - so this scene doesn’t have Kurt in it - but I feel like it’s important to cover. Basically - Blaine asks Burt for permission to ask Kurt to marry him. And Burt thinks he’s crazy.
A couple quick things first -- Burt thinks of Blaine a family. Burt pretty much already sees Blaine as a son-in-law. And we get a little mention of Burt in congress -- and that his main campaign is gay rights. Whoo!
So - here’s my thing about this marriage stuff. Out in the real world - no, I don’t think teenagers should be getting married. I think being that young - there are still a lot of things that you need to learn and go through. However, I do know people from my own high school who got married and are still married. I don’t think it’s impossible either.
Do I think Blaine’s being impulsive? Yes -- I think after the school shooting stuff, and wanting to prove his commitment to Kurt, he’s trying to secure his future in the only way he knows how. And I get that. Do I think it’s the worst choice in the world? No - because this isn’t the real world - and Klaine’s story, even as it changes into a more adult love story, is still (and always) a fairy tale. And marriage and happily ever after is a part of that.
Burt, meanwhile, has some interesting advice to give out, too. For one - he points out that you should get married because you love the person, not because you love an idea. And right now, yeah, Blaine might be a little preoccupied with the idea. (Though I don’t doubt that they both love each other for who they are.) He also points out that being married is hard - and it’s a sentiment that will be echoed in season 5. Big time. It’s something, interestingly, that Klaine gets to deal with a lot in the last third of season 5.
And then Burt tells Blaine that he should trust that their love will carry them through what ever hard times. That they’ll be able to work things through without the need of giant crazy proposals. I’m not sure if this is good advice or not. I’m not sure if this is what Blaine needed to hear (it’s definitely not what he wanted to hear). But this whole scene I don’t think was for Blaine. I think it was for the audience, to reassure us that the writers are going to give us endgame Klaine. And we should trust in the narrative.
But also - I’d like to point out that Burt knows his kid. And he knows that Kurt still loves Blaine. And even though this whole thing is happening pretty fast - he knows how the story ends. Just like we do.
What a Wonderful Life
Kurt doesn’t really do anything here but sit on that stool and listen, and that was going to be that...
But then Artie gives an impassioned speech about passion - and I thought it was super interesting.
Artie: And passion can be a scary thing but we shouldn’t run or hide from it because passion is wonderful, yo.
Idk - it just felt relevant ;)
(Omg - the Cassie/Rachel scene after this still feels like the opening of a porno or something. What even? Rachel: Ms. July, I’ve never been so nervous in my life. <------ actual thing Rachel says.)
Ah man - this is one of my favorite little moments from season 4. Blaine’s wants to ask Kurt something, and yeah, he gets pretty cute when he’s nervous. Also - note that Blaine says it’s gonna take some courage to ask Kurt something. Probably a deliberate use of the word courage ;)
I’m not sure what Blaine wanted to originally ask - but it probably wasn’t about regionals. But, yeah, he wants Kurt to stick around longer - cause, you know, it’s Kurt. And Kurt, after all the stuff with his dad is behind him, after he’s finally in a good place about /them/ - is pretty open to whatever Blaine is asking. And he’s rather surprised when it isn’t something more than just sticking around for regionals. He’s probably waiting for Blaine to ask him out on a date - or maybe something more.
And here’s the thing - Kurt’s ready. He’s in a place where getting back together with Blaine is back on the table. He loves Blaine, he does know that. And they’ve seemed to have worked out some of their shit - even if we really haven’t seen it on screen. And he’s back to a being in a good place in life, so why not take a chance and let Blaine in again?
Well - Kurt says yes to sticking around for regionals - even though he had already planned to. And he does seem surprised, and maybe ever so slightly disappointed that Blaine doesn’t ask him more. He tells Blaine that he should know that Kurt would have said yes. And I feel like the subtext is a bit more - like if you ask me out Blaine - I’m going to say yes.
And then they walk out together arms looped together - and Kurt’s grinning. They have one of my favorite exchanges.
Kurt: What a wonderful, wonderful week.
Blaine: With you in it, a wonderful life.
And then they change clothes for this performance (Artie did say to meet back at the auditorium at 4) because Ryan Murphy has become obsessed with the color orange (and yellow apparently).
Omg - how happy Kurt is during this song. And he and Blaine exchange this giddy look while the lyrics sing out: “I’m not alone anymore”
What do you guys think - they had a quick-y before coming to join the rest of the group? I would not rule that out as a possibility.
I think Klaine’s back on, ya’ll. ;)
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4, 9, 13
sophie wow these are the three i was most hoping to be asked ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
4. tell me about the classical ladies you love the most
CLEOPATRA is my HOMEGIRL!!! what more do i even have to say about her everyone knows cleopatra. she was one of the most powerful women in all of history. even as powerful as rome was by the 1st century bc, egypt managed to pose a serious threat to it under cleopatra’s leadership. she knew a ton of different languages and supposedly rarely needed a translator when interacting with foreign dignitaries. in all 200ish years of the ptolemaic dynasty’s rule of egypt (they were greek), she was the first ruler to bother learning the native egyptian language so that she could actually communicate with her people. i love her so much!!!
i talked about fulvia here i’m love her too
artemisia (yay a greek finally) was the queen of halicarnassus during the greco-persian war and she PERSONALLY led her fleet in the naval battles at artemisium and salamis. we don’t know a whoooole lot more about her but she is one of the only prominent women in ancient greece (at least that i’ve come across so far) so she’s amazing
livia was also a badass. first of all she was (more or less) the first empress of rome so jot that down. also people would petition her to ask augustus to do things so like she actually had genuine political power and influence which is pretty sick. also i love her name livia is one of the prettiest roman names imo
finally, an underrated lady whom i also love: octavia, sister of octavian and third wife of mark antony (i guess i just love all his wives wowee). why do i love octavia? she wasn’t particularly Badass. she didn’t lead countries or armies or rebellions. by all accounts she was The Perfect Roman Woman because she just stayed home and was a dutiful wife and mother. but if you really think about the circumstances she was in during the war between antony and octavian, she must’ve had such strength of character to get through that without breaking down. i mean, her brother was at war with her husband, who was cheating on her with a literal queen (i love antony but he really did treat octavia like shit tbh). and then one day her brother comes back from alexandria and is like yo ur husband and his mistress both killed themselves here’s their kids i was hoping you could raise them. and you know what? she fucking did!! octavia took in the kids her husband had with another woman and took care of them alongside her own kids AND antony’s kids from his previous marriages. so yeah, she didn’t really do anything especially badass or noteworthy, but she seems like she must have been so loyal and compassionate and loving and i just love that so much. i love underrated soft and kind ladies!!!
9. what are your top five otps?
ANTONY AND CLEOPATRA!!!!! i don’t have any others on that level but i will give a shoutout to antony/fulvia, augustus/livia, hector/andromache, and achilles/patroclus
13. if you could time-travel to the classical world for a day, where would you go and why?
i would time-travel to august 1 30 BC and stop antony from killing himself. i would then take him back to the present with me and wrap him in a warm blanket and give him some hot chocolate
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