#this isn’t theoretical it is right now for real being used in a specific way

[obstinaterixatrix]

Well in the end it comes down to recognizing when you can’t have a good faith conversation. I can understand the arguments being made and where it comes from but I fundamentally disagree with some of the foundations of these beliefs and will not budge. Nuance necessitates some alignment, I think.

#my ramblings #at this moment I don’t think you can separate the conversation of ai as a tool from the CURRENT ONGOING ethical issues #this isn’t theoretical it is right now for real being used in a specific way #if you’re curating your own datasets (??) for training (???) obviously there are ways to address it #but the major tools being used #are largely unethical full stop #and go beyond ‘unethical but you kind of can accept it and it’s necessary for day-to-day life’ #in my opinion at least #there are ai tools that can be used without exploiting artists #like yknow filters or some of those color tools or van gogh generator #van gogh’s dead so it’s not really exploitation of his art unless it’s like. I dunno. sold as if it were a commission #instead of an ai generated product #plus I feel like some of the arguments I’ve read frame things in kinda weird way #like artists are gatekeeping art rather than developing their skills #and there are unproductive ways to frame arguments that raise concerns about ai #but making it about the argument rather than the tool is missing the forest for the trees #well yknow how it is #I simply won’t see those takes anymore

[paladinbaby]

1-12 for the dnd character asks for nettle :) !!

1 - why did they choose their class(es)? their subclass(es)?

nettle is 6 levels of alchemist artificer and one of wild magic sorcerer. she did not choose wild magic and it stresses her out so so bad in fact. i think she loves being an alchemist but it’s something she came into mostly by accident while trying out different things she read about in the library.

2 - before they met their party, what was their main goal?

she had just finished her masters so her main goal was like,,, paying rent and keeping her coffee shop job that she hated

3 - what is their goal right now?

survival <33 not even necessarily her own. i don’t think she would be able to cope if she walked away from a situation another member of the party didn’t so she needs to know she’s done every possible thing she can for them

4 - if they could learn one spell that isn’t available to them at present, which spell would it be?

hmmm hollis has v kindly said when she eventually gets 3rd level spells he will let me take life transference which is not an artificer spell. of a level she can currently cast bless or warding bond maybe. if bo ends up casting inflict wounds i think she will be jealous of it

5 - do they follow a higher power? what are their thoughts on divinity?

i don’t think nettle has ever really thought about god until lensa arrived in her dreams and she got more magic and stress from it. i think before she was v much like oh well even if the divine is real i have no indication it’s affecting my life except now it very much is and she finds that so much worse. she is developing a soft spot for lensa specifically tho

6 - which party member do they relate to the most?

probably kai

7 - which party member do they understand the least?

nox is simply so much more well adjusted than she is

8 - what are three songs that suit them?

the waves bastille, growing sideways noah kahan, last hope paramore

(note the waves is one of the original songs on her playlist bc of the line oh what would your mother say and in light of last session has really been getting to me)

9 - do they care about their appearance? how much effort do they put into presentation?

she cares about her appearance in an autistic way. like she wants to look and be dressed in a very specific manner and that’s less to do with how people perceive her and more to do with what she can stand to have on her body. she wears almost exclusively dresses with short or no sleeves made from natural fibres/ woven fabrics. she has worn trousers maybe three times in the past five years of her life

10 -how often do they lie? what situations cause them to be dishonest?

nettle i think avoids out and out lying as much as she can not for any ethical reason but because she is bad at it. that being said her month in the library she has got really used to talking around things she doesn’t want people to know/ ask her about

11 - what skills are they proficient in? why?

from worst to best deception, insight, arcana , history, investigation, nature. she has +8 in her int based skills bc she is a funky little nerd who never should have been let out from writing papers and not talking to people. she has high insight but i think every insight roll I have made has been bad so i think it’s this balance of she doesn’t have good people skills but she’s spent a lot of time people watching. deception is +2 because proficiency cancels out her negative charisma modifier. she is fey and a sorcerer so theoretically should be far trickier/ more deceptive than i think she is capable of being

12 - have they ever been in love?

no <33

#personal #ask #ty!!! #love to talk about her #nettle :)

[write-lets-do-this]

Fate and destiny are often very important in spiritual contexts, and for someone with very few ties to the realms of spirituality and religion, it’s easy to forget that these things could actually be considered a real part of our world.

The idea that all the decisions we have made and ever will make are all pre-determined, however, steps beyond the limits of these concepts. It even makes a show in psychology, in the big debate of nature vs nurture. If the genetic makeup of every living being dictates their behaviour, then our responses will always be the same when we face a given situation. Of course, in a practical sense, this idea cannot be proven as even the tiniest of changes between one setting and another, even down to a few seconds’ time difference, can be enough to alter our behaviour quite significantly.

If you think about it from the very beginning of time – not in a literal sense, but, say, in an imaginary world where the first living being, you, has just come into existence. This world has nothing else in it except for you. Now, if your genes will always respond the same to any given situation, theoretically, if someone knew the makeup of your genes and had some genius way of calculating exactly what those genes would cause you to do in that setting, they could accurately predict exactly what you would do for every moment for the rest of your existence.

Now, this idea relies on this theoretical someone also knowing every detail of your past life, but in our little imaginary world, you don’t have one. You’ve just come into existence, memory as fresh as a newborn baby’s. Thus, your genetics are all you have to go on for your first decisions, before experience can have any effect on the choices you make.

If this concept is true, then the idea of free will is not. But there is, much like most significant philosophical debates, no way of proving or disproving this.

Do I believe it?

Well, that’s the question that prompted this post, isn’t it?

I don’t believe in the theory I just described. Partly because it simply seems unrealistic to me, and partly because, even if it is true, choosing to believe it would likely cause me to live a less happy life, with much less motivation if I’m convinced I don’t have any choice about what I’m doing. Humans are designed to believe they have full freedom to make decisions; it makes us happier as creatures on this planet.

But as for fate?

Well, in my eyes, fate is a lot less restrictive than the idea that we have no free will at all. Often, in the books I’ve read, it’s simply a couple of sentences that describe some achievement someone will make.

If I were to go somewhere and have my future read out to me, I do believe that that specific future would be more likely to happen, if only because (if it’s a future I desire) I would be actively trying to make it happen. If it’s one I don’t desire, I doubt that I would attempt to make it a reality, but the fact is once an idea is lodged in your mind, you’re more than likely, if you spend much time thinking about it, to compare what actually happens with what you were told until the two become so similar that you have no choice but to believe the prophecy was right.

So yes, in a way I suppose I do believe in destiny.

Not necessarily in the cosmic-alignment, decree of the Gods kind of way, but at the very least in the sense of a ‘self-fulfilling prophecy.’ And I think part of the truth is, I do want to believe.

I want to believe in some power beyond what is tangible so bad that I’ve dedicated my whole life to exploring things that aren’t real. Secretly, I probably want to be more powerful than I possibly ever could be in this world, but that’s a whole god-complex-flavoured can of worms that I don’t think I’ll be opening any time soon.

-Olive Tree

#my blog #blog #blogging #writing blog #fate #destiny #psychology #philosophy #free will #sorry these tags are kinda generic this time lol

[jasonbehrs]

🎭 wear your heart where i can see 🎭

by airauralintensity (aka me, jasonbehrs!)

a dbsk fanfic about falling in love on a trial run

“But you’re a dude!”

“That will continue to be true for every lesson in the curriculum, so I suggest you get over that quickly.”

ship: yunjae chapter: 5/10 word count: 2.6k+ rating: T+ for cursing

read it on ffnet, aff, ao3, or below!

~~~

Jaejoong enters the lunch room the next day a little later and a little more annoyed than he normally does. His geometry teacher held him back after class to talk about his performance on the last quiz. It wasn't the best, admittedly, but he didn't need the reminder. Right now, the only triangular shapes he cares about are pizza slices.

A roar of noise erupts from one of the tables near the food pick-up, and he recognises the students to be the hapkido team as he gets in line. He wants to find their antics obnoxious but cannot. If High School Musical taught him anything, it's that sports teams and drama clubs aren't as diametrically opposed as they think they are.

As the line progresses, Jaejoong idly thinks about what a theoretical 'Stick to the Status Quo' musical number would look like in their school cafeteria, then he recognises Yunho in the middle of the excitement. One of the team members is giving him a noogie, and he's close enough (and they're loud enough) that he can pick out the accompanying jibes.

"When do we get to meet her?" "It must be pretty serious if the Jungster himself is telling us!" "Has she figured out yet that you're a fucking nerd?"

Jaejoong turns his back on the scene with a warm yet wry smile playing on his face. He's always had the impression of Yunho being a diligent student, so it shouldn't surprise him that spirit applies even in this.

When he has his lunch in hand, he looks over at the hapkido table one more time. They've settled down while he was ordering, which gives Yunho the opportunity to see Jaejoong above the heads of his friends. He offers a happy little wave, and Jaejoong responds with a nod. Yunho gives him one last smile before returning his attention back to his friends, then Jaejoong notices there's actually space for one or two more people at their table. Something he is choosing to call an intrusive thought tells him to take the spot next to Yunho, but he resolutely shakes it off.

A wave out of the corner of his eye gets his attention, and he finds the table where Sooyoung and some other drama club kids are sitting. When he gets closer, she shifts to make a spot for him and doesn't even let him take a bite of his pizza before pouncing. "So what did Jung Yunho want with you yesterday?"

Jaejoong blinks at her. He can't believe he never told her about his newest extracurricular activity, especially considering she was basically the inspiration behind it all. Where would he even begin?

He looks into her expectant eyes, opens his mouth, and says the words, "He was lending me his geometry notes. I totally bombed the last quiz."

Sooyoung makes a sympathetic noise. "I'm sorry. Here, have my brownie." She drops the dessert on his plate and lets him eat in peace, but now Jaejoong isn't quite hungry.

He tells himself that it's because they aren't alone that he's hesitant to launch into a dramatic retelling of his past few weeks, but he knows himself enough to know it's just a convenient excuse. He just doesn't really want to find out the real reason yet either, though.

"By the way, what can you tell me about Kwon Boa?" he asks to distract himself.

Sooyoung sends him a weird look over her drink. "Probably nothing that you don't already know. She's the one who kicked our butts during rehearsal last night, does that ring a bell?"

"Humour me."

"Hardass, gorgeous, smart, flexible, unattainable, gorgeous…" she lists.

"Yeah, but you were on the dance team with her last year. Can't you tell me anything more specific?"

Sooyoung narrows her eyes at him, trying to determine the purpose of his line of questioning, but then she tilts her head as she thinks about how to respond. This is what Jaejoong loves about her. She'll judge him and take him seriously in the same instance.

He's halfway done with his lunch when she speaks up again. "Boa has this reputation for being an ice queen, but she really just has high standards. She's pretty normal when she's not in work mode, actually. People also think she's a stick in the mud, but I never thought that was fair. She's just not the life-of-the-party type of person. Like, she has a great sense of humour but can't make the joke herself, you know? … Honestly, she isn't really your type, boobs and vag notwithstanding," Sooyoung ends jokingly.

Jaejoong elbows her in good nature, but inside he's agonising.

She may not be his type, but he could totally see why she would be Yunho's.

~~~

After school, he's doing homework in his room wondering if maybe he really should ask Yunho for his geometry notes when the boy himself texts him.

I'll have you know that the hapkido team has been made aware of new variables to my after school availability

Jaejoong makes a face. please don't say it liek that to your real girlfriend, she's gonna hate it

The reply is quick. Last time I checked, that's you, is it not? Concepts in practise, and all

do not cite the textbook to me, student! i was there when it was written and yes exactly since i am your rEaL gIrLfRiEnD, i'm telling you to quit it wait

What?

what am i saved as in your phone?

Yunho's next message is a screenshot of a contact page. The text at the top, right above Jaejoong's phone number, reads 'Prince Charming'.

Jaejoong's fingers move before he tells them to. YAH!

Is something the matter?

Technically? No. Jaejoong had asked because he was going to encourage Yunho to save him under a nickname anyway. If Yunho's little sister is anything like Jaejoong's older one, then their conversations are liable to be perused at any moment for the sake of her entertainment. As he suspected, Yunho wanted to keep their practise-dating-slash-tutoring thing a secret; and 'Prince Charming' hides enough.

Another text comes in. You said you liked the nickname

But that's the real problem, isn't it? He does like the nickname; he likes that Yunho made that his contact name—as opposed to his initials or a fake name or something else—without any prompting on Jaejoong's part at all.

He likes it a little too much.

i need a cooler one for subterfuge purposes, you understand, he eventually fires off.

Again, the reply is quick. Shouldn't I get a secret agent nickname too then? I bet my name in your phone is just Jung Yunho

Jaejoong burns with indignation. How dare that punk be right.

He looks around his room desperately, trying to find inspiration for something quick and clever he could change Yunho's contact name to. Unseen pressure forces him to choose quick over clever, so he groans and settles for something basic.

excuse you, i am committed to this relationship

The attached photo shows a screenshot of Yunho's own contact page entitled 'Hot Stuff 🔥'. Unfortunately, that really was the best Jaejoong got.

When more than a minute passes without hearing from the other, Jaejoong's mind helpfully supplies he actually has homework he needs to do. He turns his phone face down on his desk with a sigh and looks back at the worksheet he's supposed to be filling out, but then he remembers why he stopped so easily in the first place. He has no clue how to solve this problem.

He figures it's time to actually ask for some real help, but Yunho's incoming text distracts him again.

That's very flattering, thank you. You're rather cute yourself ❤

Jaejoong stares at the characters on his screen like they may change from Korean into something else at any moment. That is a suspiciously flirty response coming from Yunho.

oh yeah? what's cute about me~

He pays rapt attention to the dots at the bottom of the screen that portend an incoming message. It's not that he has expectations or hopes for what the response will be, but he's intrigued by what it will reveal.

Your food is delicious

Jaejoong barks out a laugh into his empty room, more relieved than disappointed. Of course. Yunho couldn't be flirting with him; he doesn't know how!

why am i not surprised that's your answer ;p give me another. i want one about ME

Jaejoong leans back in his seat, waiting for the comedy to be delivered right to his fingertips.

Your voice is cute

He nearly falls backwards, and Yunho isn't done.

Cute may be a strong word, but I like your voice a lot. It's very unique. I can pick it out in a noisy room I also like the way you talk, like everything is a joke just waiting to find the right audience I think you're funny too, but I'm not sure this one counts because everyone thinks you're funny

Jaejoong almost cracks his phone from the frantic way he's handling it as message after message rolls in. Where is this all coming from? Why does Jung Yunho know so many words?

Finally, there is a lull in notifications, and Jaejoong tentatively takes a peek at the most recent message in their chat log.

And of course, you're cutest when you're next to me

His heart beats a dangerous rhythm against his chest when he reads those words. A cursory glance at the rest of the chat reveals a string of compliments that become more and more cheesy as he scrolls through, and he cannot handle any of that right now—not what they say, not what they mean.

yAH CAN YOU READ?! i said one (1)! he sends in an embarrassingly hopeful stupor before desperately scrolling back up again. What did Yunho say? What did Yunho mean?

The reply comes in as a bubble at the top of the screen. Ah, right… Extra credit then? ;)

Jaejoong will not admit it to himself until his subconscious does it for him later at night, but that winky face, in all of its unassuming and unexpected glory, is probably what seals his fate.

~~~

The text messages are still on his mind in the minutes between English and Literature the next day, which makes Yunho's sudden appearance by his side a welcome yet disconcerting surprise.

"Woah, hey! Jumpy today. Everything okay?"

Uncharacteristic awkwardness overcomes Jaejoong in the face of Yunho's concern. "Yes?"—No, he should sound more confident.—"I mean, yeah! Yeah, I would say so. You don't have to worry about me."—No! That's such a weird thing to say, what the hell.—"I mean, um."

He needs to get over this.

"What's up?" he finishes lamely.

Yunho only blinks at him, and yeah, Jaejoong deserves that. He forces himself to find a grip and get it. "I have Literature next. What about you?"

Not the best recovery, but at least Yunho stops looking at him like he should take Jaejoong to the nurse. "What classroom is that in?"

"206, why?"

Yunho looks around furtively, which is a silly enough action that the need to make fun of Yunho makes Jaejoong come back to himself. They're in a high school; there's no such thing as privacy.

Yunho seems to realise the same thing. "Come with me." He grabs hold of Jaejoong's hand to pull him in the opposite direction they're walking, and Jaejoong's feet follow him in surprise before putting up a feeble fight. "What are you doing? We have class!"

Yunho continues to pull him through the hall and down some stairs. "I don't have a quiz or anything. Do you?" He looks over his shoulder with mischief in his eyes, and Jaejoong feels awkward again. He only shakes his head.

They're not running in slow motion through empty halls like in the movies, but they may as well have been in Jaejoong's mind. Is this really Yunho—studious, learn-the-theory, can-homework-be-part-of-a-date Jung Yunho—who's making them skip class so they could be alone together?

He was stupid to think that he could put up a fight against whatever Yunho's planning, not like this. He wants to see where this will go, late Joseon poetry be damned.

Yunho takes them all the way outside, and Jaejoong's feet trip over nothing. The only thing out here on this side of campus worth visiting is the Backstreet. Yunho knows what the Backstreet is for, right?

To Jaejoong's surprise and anticipation, it's empty.

Yunho walks them to the alley entrance, not much deeper than they were the first time, and leans against one wall, hands in his pockets and legs stretched out to almost reach the other side with his toes. Jaejoong mirrors the pose on the opposite wall and tries to calm down. He is thrumming with the energy it takes to contain his expectations, but he doesn't know what this all means yet.

He knows what he wants this to mean, though.

Yunho leans forward and leers. "So, how did I do?"

Jaejoong doesn't know what he's referring to, but that isn't enough to stop a stupid answer to a stupid question. "You were very good at leading us all the way here," he says with a faux-serious nod.

"No!" Yunho laughs. "I meant last night."

Jaejoong straightens his posture in interest. Yunho wants to talk about last night? The hope he has been refusing to acknowledge blazes anew in his chest. The memory of Yunho's sweet, promising words; the auspicious location for playing hooky; the way Yunho is looking at him with eager eyes—he can feel a blush blooming on his cheeks, but he doesn't bother trying to hide it. What use would that do? He's the cutest when he's besides Yunho, after all.

Yunho's grin widens, gets a little toothy. "Yeah? I passed?"

"Passed?" Jaejoong repeats with a confused smile, still trying to figure out if he's going to have his first kiss with a boy today. Not just any boy. Jung Yunho.

Jung Yunho, who pulls his hands out and gestures excitedly. "Yeah, the flirty texts? The 'concepts in practise'?" He makes lazy air quotes with his fingers. "How did I do?"

Jaejoong's heart drops with no bungee cord to pull it back up to where it belongs.

With painful clarity, he reimagines last night in the context of what Yunho must have been thinking the whole time: it was one of their lessons. A test. He brought up extra credit, for fuck's sake, and Jaejoong still didn't get it.

He collects himself enough to remember he owes Yunho an answer. "Fine."

"'Fine'?!"

Jaejoong nods, face turned out of the alley. "You did fine."

"What! I thought I was being really sweet while maintaining a subtle, yet undeniable, flirtatious undertone!"

He was, but Jaejoong can't feel good about being on the receiving end of it anymore. He thought Yunho really meant those things, but he was stupid. Why would he humour Jaejoong so much if it weren't part of his endgame? It hasn't even been two days since he learned Yunho is doing all of this for Kwon Boa. Yunho wouldn't change his mind in two days.

"Is it because I didn't initiate?" Yunho wonders out loud.

It's his fault. Jaejoong is the one who changed his mind in two days. "Sure."

"Dangit, I knew you were gonna dock me points for that. Listen, I've been thinking about it. At this point in the relationship, isn't it fair for me to expect some pursuing in return? All the stuff you told me about my girlfriend wanting to feel wanted and whatever, doesn't that get to apply to me, too?"

Jaejoong pushes himself off the wall. He needs to get out of here. "You know what? You're right. Your girlfriend should ask you out."

Yunho perks up and follows Jaejoong out of the Backstreet. "Really?"

"Really." Jaejoong doesn't even bother to turn his head so that his voice can be heard better, focused as he was on the nearest school entrance. "Wait to hear from her."

He makes it inside a few paces before Yunho does, then he books it for the nearest staircase. He spares half a mind to hope that Yunho thinks he's preoccupied with making it back to class, but he's not going to class.

On the second floor, he beelines for the bathroom and locks himself in a stall. He gets up on the toilet and squats and curls inward on himself just in time for the first tears to fall.

He was so, so stupid.

~~~

A/N (4.16.2023): Past midnight where I am, but it's still Saturday somewhere in America! This chapter was pretty short and perhaps weirdly paced, but the next one will make up for it! Also, I made slight edits to chapters 1-3 to help set up for later in the story. I normally only publish my works after the whole whole thing is already written for this very reason, but I was trying something new with this story. I'm gonna go back to my old method for my next work, but this was still a good learning experience. :)

#dbsk #yunjae #kim jaejoong #jung yunho #kpop #dbsk fanfiction #tvxq fanfiction #jaso* #wyhwics #tvxq

[multiversalencyclopedia]

Least developed concept in your story? Specifically world or technological building

Hmmm, I feel like technology is pretty well developed, there is one thing though, The Afterlife Complex. So the way it used to be was this: when someone died their body created something called an “imprint” which is an almost imperceptibly small amount of energy basically serving as a Blackbox recording of the person (they’re ghosts okay?)

Now this worked out fine and dandy for a while, imprints would fade away relatively quick and when they were around there wasn’t enough of them to really interfere with anything, but then there gets to be enough of them they start being able to interact with things with a large amount of them working together, the Orb and Obelisk (the two gods waging an eternal war) don’t like this one bit, so they have this farmer guy named Milo Lancaster turned into a being called The Harvester which just kind of ate all the imprints.

Enter Newton Catcher, really important guy, he catches wind of this and is like “hey that’s kind of fucked up”, and secretly starts building the afterlife, eventually the Orb finds out and he justifies it because if the Obelisk ever somehow wiped out a bunch of people theoretically they could be brought back, and he gets permission to finish the project.

After Newton kills the Orb and Obelisk he starts renovating the afterlife, it is basically just a set of a near infinite amount of worlds it’s inhabitants can exist in, and it is constantly expanding to house more inhabitants. There isn’t a “hell” to it, exactly but there is varying levels of good places, it is rare that someone enters the afterlife and goes to one of the worse places, but it does happen, it works like this: The person’s imprint arrives at the afterlife and is “repaired” (when you go from human being to imprint there is data loss) using data from the Historian’s Archives (historians are immortal beings that can travel through time at will, their only real purpose in existence is catalogue everything that has ever happened). Then the imprint is evaluated by an AI that was made to be as impartial as it could be, the vast majority get through this just fine but if it flags an imprint a council who’s members are kept extremely secret (we do know it does include two Historians) judge the person and decide on where they should go in the afterlife (this is never permanent, the less good planes of existence are focused on helping the imprint become a better person), if they cannot get a decision it becomes a public vote between all members of the afterlife, this has never happened before.

There’s only been 4 people who ever escaped from the afterlife, they’re a group called Sector Two. You see, Newton Catcher was the result of a program where the basis was “how fast can we take an ordinary guy and make him extremely powerful” and he was fully expected to die during this, he was just a test run, Sector Two was going to be a replacement for him, but then Newton didn’t die, so the Orb trapped Sector Two in a simulated hellscape as storage until Newton killed the Orb and they escaped. They proceeded to have adventures through the universe until getting killed by a fungus hotel. So, right before their imprisonment Sector Two helped make the plans for the Afterlife Complex, Newton thought he had found everyone who knew about the Afterlife and erased their memories of it but missed Sector Two because the Orb did not want Newton to know about them, so they knew about an emergency escape passage and the way to get it open, which hadn’t been changed because there was no reason to have changed it, and then outside of the Afterlife managed to get back into corporeal form. Newton found out and was like “Ok I’m not going to kill you guys but I do need to erase your memories of the Afterlife, deal?” and they agreed and went back to their normal life, and they’re still alive to this day.

[beauty-and-passion]

@theepsizet​ Actually, I've talked about this theme several times, but not in a specific post and not in a fully comprehensible way. So, well, I suppose this is the post where I will do it :D

I believe Logan is very, VERY disappointed in Thomas. The seeds were planted long ago, from season one: Logan has always been the first one to tell Thomas he should get "a real job" and he talked about his decision to change his career with visible frustration and regret:

[Logan]: So many years of chemical engineering and science that you decided to flush down the metaphorical toilet. (Moving On - part 1)

So yes, Logan isn't happy with Thomas' decision. And we can easily understand why: a chemical/mathematical career would've involved logic a lot more, if compared to a more emotional/creative career such as acting.

And maybe, that's how it was. Maybe Logan was the most involved Side, when Thomas was a chemical engineer. Now Roman is the Side in the driver's seat (as he said in POF), but maybe Logan had that role before the career switch.

This could explain a lot of things, like why Logan is so bitter and resentful, why he's so unable to work with Roman and so on.

Still, this can explain why Logan is bitter, but why is he THIS bitter? Why is he still holding that grudge, after all this time?

I think the reason is Thomas himself and how he handled the whole situation during the career switch.

To put it simply: he didn’t. I firmly believe that Thomas didn’t confront Logan at all, nor reassured him. He just took the decision by himself, without involving Logan the slightest.

And this is why I also believe that, if Thomas did everything right, Logan wouldn’t feel like this. All Thomas had to do was involve Logan in this decision - maybe alongside with Roman, to show them they are both important and they can keep being important, by working together. Despite not being in the driver’s seat anymore, Logan would still feel useful and appreciated, because Thomas would keep listening to him during this new part of his life.

But, as we can see from canon, Thomas barely listens to Logan. Most of the time, he just completely ignores him.

And this led to two very important reactions from Logan:

1) A subconscious desire to be heard, to be noticed, to be loved. By ignoring him during that important moment, Thomas hurt Logan. He made him feel unimportant and useless, even though he was the one in the driver’s seat so - theoretically - the first Side Thomas should turn to.

And so, in order to not feel that pain again, Logan desperately tries to be listened to, to prove Thomas he’s here, he exists, he can help. Thomas can talk to him. Because if he talks to him, then Logan won’t be ignored again. He won’t be the last Side to know.

2) A very human anger and passive-aggressiveness. Unlike Roman whose vanity is just fake, Logan knows he’s important. He has a high consideration of himself. He was the one in the driver’s seat. And despite all of that, Thomas just ignored him while taking such a heavy decision? As if he wasn’t as important as he is?

He’s angry, of course. But he’s also a very controlled Side so, instead of expressing his anger by lashing out or with other theatrical ways, he chose the most subtle and hurtful way possible: passive-aggressiveness. And he’s so damn good at it.

The most recent update of this is Logan’s new drinking habit. If he was mostly frustrated at first, he’s relying on wine a lot more in the last episodes. And even though we can all collectively agree that he cannot get drunk, it’s still very sad that he relies on alcohol this much to keep himself calm and collected.

This is a still recent development, so we still have to see how Thomas will talk about it. But if he does it like I think he will, alcohol can become the next means for Logan to get everyone’s attention.

And, this time, he might succeed. It’s just so evident someone has to notice. And when the others do, then Thomas will. Who knows, maybe he will try to help Logan, because oh no, drinking so much is bad for your health, why you’re doing this, it’s not good.

And this, this could be the last straw. What will make Logan snap. After years and years of trying to get Thomas' attention, after years of showing that he's not okay, after he did everything to be noticed and listened to, Thomas notices it just now? Now he cares, while he never cared before? Not when he didn’t tell Logan about the career switch, not when he ignored him for years, not when he flushed so many years of chemical engineering and science “down the metaphorical toilet”? Just now? And only because of alcohol?

The conversation could be very heavy. And I would love it. I want Logan to bring dark themes, to talk about frustration and anger and how this kind of pain can’t ever be fully healed. I don’t want a happy ending.

And while we’re bringing anger on the table, I also would like Orange to be not Logan’s enemy, but his ally. I want him to add fuel to Logan’s internal turmoil, to make it explode: this would make Orange  appear as a bad guy, while he’s actually helping Logan finally release years of accumulated tensions.

In the end, Orange will have the dark sides’ typical arc (looks/acts/seems like a bad guy -> he’s actually a helpful boy) and Logan will have a resolution that won’t be happy and joyful. As I said, I want a bittersweet ending. I want Thomas to finally give Logan that confrontation he deserved. I want Logan to calm down and finally understand Thomas’ decision. And I want him to not fully forgive Thomas, because what happened in that career switch will always leave a mark on him. Still, I want them to learn. And I want them to grow up, mature, accept themselves and love themselves a lot more.

#sanders sides #ask #logan sanders #thomas sanders #season 3 #I have so many expectations for Logan's arc #it's so promising

[ot3]

hey kinda heavy ace attorney question ig but I agree with you on many things about aa and feel like you have a good understanding of Phoenix and Trucy so I really wanna ask. How do you think the creation of the bloody ace was handled? I’ve seen the idea that Trucy took matters into her own hands and made it as a failsafe without his knowledge, and that he then covered for her, but if that were the case I wonder how he knew about it and planned around it at his trial. I’ve also seen the idea that he made it himself, but gave it to her for delivery to Apollo; which maybe seems the most apparent but I really dislike it because…. It means he uses her to deliver forged evidence. In much the same way he was given the diary page, really. it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I’ve also seen some people suggest that he made it but only gave it to her for use at her discretion, which does give some agency back to her but I also question whether Phoenix would be right in placing that on her shoulders and making it her responsibility. Sorry this expanded into a ridiculously long ask but I really am curious about your take on it?

eoooh yes yes yes i love talking about phoenix and trucy lets goooooo. i actually have a scene from my (still pretty rough and probably never to be finished) wip longfic covering this scene, which ill sick below the cut, but i'll just give my generic thoughts here first.

i think phoenix asked her to do it. trucy having enough detailed knowledge of the crime scene and the events leading up to it and the actual mechanical operation of trials that would be required in order to come up with this plan just doesn't make any sense to me. phoenix is really the only one who could have theoretically concocted this particular move. but since he was presumably held in the detention center until trial, trucy is from there really the only person who could have actually done the thing.

phoenix and trucy are pretty notoriously codependent; i'm headachey and melting from the heat today so rather than doing what i normally do and trawling the wiki to find the quotes that back me up on broadstrokes statements like these so i'm just gonna pull a 'dude just trust me' moment here. the fact that she helps take care of her daddy is a point of pride for her. i don't think it strips trucy of any agency for this to be phoenix's decision because it's not like trucy spends her whole life (or even the entire game) blindly following other peoples orders. her (and phoenix's ) priority at the beginning of aa4 is each other and their own wellbeing, and the decisions they have to make in turnabout trump are indicative of that.

yes, it echoes her bringing the forged evidence to phoenix 7 years ago, but it's more of an inversion/reversal (one might even say a turnabout) than a repetition of past mistakes. in the past she was an unwilling pawn in someone else's plan where her life was collateral, now she's an active and conscious participant in the plan of someone she cares about that she's doing to protect the life she and phoenix have built for themselves. She's not being forced to do it, but i don't think there's any world where she would have said no either. she and phoenix are the most important thing in the world to each other. in their own words, if one of them falls, they both fall.

was it right of phoenix to ask this of her? was it okay for him to do this to apollo, too? obviously it's not a good thing. but it was his only option at that moment. phoenix found himself in a very difficult situation. as an attorney he promised himself to the truth, and that was the principle he lived by, but as a father what he lives by is the promise he made to trucy to never disappear on her. at that moment phoenix did what he had to do to make sure the trial ended the way he needed it to. truth had to take a backseat. his priorities have shifted.

i've also spoken before at length about how i don't think phoenix was plotting against kristoph in the longterm, at least not to the degree which popular fanon seems to agree upon. so really everything he did in turnabout trump was phoenix being backed into a corner using every tool at his disposal to try and snatch victory out of the jaws of defeat. was it right of him to get trucy involved? it's no worse than bringing 8 year old pearl along to crime scenes because he needed her channeling skills. phoenix cares about people deeply but he isn't capable of shielding them from all the harm the world has to offer, and he knows he isn't. half of his capability comes from his shrewdness and willingness and ability to take help when he can get it because he knows, even if its a strain in a short term, he's fighting battles that need to be won at any cost. if that makes any sense

anyway heres the little scene i wrote below the cut.

---------- APRIL 17TH, 2026 DETENTION CENTER VISITOR’S ROOM ----------

Trucy shows up on the dot as visiting hours begin. It’s funny, she thinks. The last time she did this she had a different daddy altogether. Only it really isn’t particularly funny at all, is the thing about it, and she’s going to have quite a few stern words for the man when he gets home.

She picks up the phone on one side of the pane of bulletproof glass and he grabs the other.

“Daddy,” she huffs. “You promised me you’d stay out of trouble.”

“I know, I know, I’m so sorry, Truce.” He puts on an easy smile as he says it, and he uses the same affected tone of voice she had used to start the conversation off. Affected. Cautious, in the sense that it’s levity is entirely manufactured. A performance.

It had been like that between them for real at the beginning, both of them still unsure of each other, pantomiming something resembling a sitcom and playing the real feeling filled in as it went. Thankfully, it did, but the theatrics still lend themselves better to specific conversation.

“Well, if you’re sorry, I suppose I can forgive you! But this isn’t going to look good on your employee review, y’know. I’ll have to bring it up with HR.”

“I’m sure Charley can find it in his heart to forgive me, too.”

“He’s a gentle soul.” She nods.

“You should come watch the trial on Monday, I think it’d be good for you to see.”

“Oh? And why’s that?” Trucy doesn’t like the courthouse. Daddy knows that. She never comes when he goes to use the library there. She also hates, hates the idea of watching her daddy sit in the defendant’s chair not knowing if he’s ever going to come home again. He knows that too.

“Well, there are always interesting things to learn during a court trial. Plus, having you there would help me out a lot!” I need you to do something for me. She reads through the tone into his words’ real meaning. Her stomach clenches. A favor he can’t just outright ask for, not over the phone in the detention center, where every word would be recorded.

“Oh, daddy, no! I’m a magician, not a lawyer, although I understand the confusion.” She drapes a hand over her eyes in faux anguish. “I simply couldn’t, it isn’t my stage.”

“I disagree. I think it’s a perfect stage. Lawyers need cheering up too, you know! Back when I was a lawyer, I used to get really stressed out during cases like these. I bet one of your tricks would do the job.”

“Well what sort of trick do you want me to do?”

“Do you remember the first trick you ever did for me? It was the day we met, at the courthouse. You pulled a piece of paper out of your hat and gave it to me.”

“Yes,” she chirps, forcing a vibrant bubble into her voice. It feels like a pile of rocks in her gut and her pulse starts to quicken. “Of course I remember!”

“I bet if you did that trick again, it’d cheer up the whole courtroom! I bet I’d win my case in a heartbeat.”

----------

Her legs feel like jelly by the time the bus drops her off at the stop near the office. Daddy had kept on like that, loaded phrasing and a lopsided smile as he laced vapid banter with instructions. With warnings. She walks into the storage closet and grabs a deck of cards - one of his, the same style they use at the club, not hers for her tricks. Abruptly, she has a moment of panic as she realizes she’s not even sure what color she’s supposed to use, but then, just as fast, she forces her head clear and just grabs one of each.

They’re unopened. This makes it a cinch to find the card she’s looking for. Her stomach flips.

The worst part isn’t even what she’s doing. The worst part is that she’s doing it at all. Daddy knows well what this situation is making her feel and he’s asking her to do it anyway.

The only explanation left: he’s completely out of options.

She pulls her gloves off and grabs a needle from her sewing supplies. She pricks her finger, and lets a drop fall onto each ace.

----------

#ace attorney #i literally love them os much theyre perfect #daddy and daughter of all time

[thewhitefluffyhat]

Thoughts on Deltarune Chapter 2

I wasn't even intending to write a Deltarune post, but here we are!

Have some extended ramblings/theorizing about Undertale, Deltarune, and the role of the "Player" vs character agency.

[Warning: full spoilers for ALL routes in both Undertale and Deltarune!]

.

Frisk’s Agency in Undertale

So I'm not sure how common this is nowadays (I haven't been following Undertale theories for a while), but I personally prefer the interpretation that there is no "Player" as an in-universe force in Undertale. I think it's a far more elegant story if the fourth wall isn't broken.

I'm also fond of the Narrator Chara and "Chara isn't pure evil until Murder Route teaches them to be" interpretations too.

And, of course, the third plank bridging those two is that I don't see Frisk as a just a pure, innocent cinnamon roll.

Because I like the story best when it's Frisk who chooses mercy or murder. It gives Frisk a much more complex character, if they are allowed to have the capacity for both immense kindness and immense cruelty. It even gives them an interesting implied character arc, if you take the natural progression path of True Pacifist > Murder Fun Times > Soulless Pacifist.

Just like Flowey, Frisk first tried to use their powers of Determination for good, but eventually they also grew curious and began to see the world as a game. And then they went too far and ultimately regretted it. Regretted it so much, in fact, that they were willing to sell their soul for just a chance to fix it.

After all, it's not you, the "Player," whose SOUL Chara wants. It's you, Frisk.

I also dislike the idea of an in-universe "Player" because that implies that "Frisk" is nothing but an empty shell - on ALL routes. All of those heartwarming moments in the True Pacifist route? All of the silly Flirt actions? Yeah, that's not Frisk, that's just as much the "Player" puppeting some poor kid's body as the events of the Bad Times.

Who knows what Frisk is truly like if their every action - good or ill - is controlled by some unseen, eldritch force? Now Frisk no longer has any characterization.

And given that said force overrides Frisk's agency, then isn't the "Player" evil no matter which route you take? It's become a story where they only "moral" choice is never to pick up the game at all. Hrm.

Anyway, but that's all Undertale. Which brings me to...

What the heck is going on in Deltarune?

Unlike Frisk=the Red SOUL in Undertale, we don't seem to control Kris=the Red SOUL in Deltarune. The game repeatedly underlines that the player only controls the Red SOUL, not Kris.

(Though, with stuff like the sound of the bathroom faucet only being audible when Kris's actual body is nearby - it seems like even when separated, the Red SOUL may still be perceiving through Kris's other senses besides sight...?)

With Spamton's dialogue and Kris's reaction after the non-Weird NEO fight, there's also a lot more emphasis in Deltarune of Kris (and the rest of the party!) being puppeted by some other force. And that's on top of all the stuff in the first chapter highlighting Kris/the Red SOUL's lack of agency.

Because of all those hints, Deltarune seems to be much more explicitly pointing toward that dark interpretation of Undertale - that the "Player"/Red SOUL is removing Kris's agency, regardless of route.

Indeed, I'm somewhat intrigued by the possibility that we/the Red SOUL might be forcing Kris to act nice just as much as we force them to act cruel. The way that Kris deliberately removes the Red SOUL in order to do some very suspicious actions might support that. As do some comments in Chapter 1, like characters in the post-Dark World walkaround noting how Kris is being less weird and more inquisitive than usual. Maybe Kris is the Knight and the Red SOUL is possessing them to undo their evil actions. Maybe the real Kris doesn't want to be friends with Susie and Ralsei at all!

But taking that interpretation to such an extreme also doesn't quite fit. Why does Kris slash the tires on Toriel's car? The only reason I can think of is that they want to keep Susie at their house. And why does Kris create the Dark World in their house? Is Kris creating the fountains because they want to have fun with friends? Especially right after the chapter emphasized how great the Dark World adventures were, that seems very likely.

There are also some smaller details too, of Kris interpreting the Red SOUL's input with their own spin (like saying things sarcastically), or of Kris chatting in a friendly way with Ralsei which the player/SOUL can't influence.

So, I'm pretty sure that even outside of the Red SOUL's control, Kris genuinely does like their friends.

Meanwhile, there were a lot of hints this chapter that Something Bad happened to Kris, Noelle, Dess, and Asriel when they went exploring in the forest by the graveyard. Most likely, they went into that ominous bunker south of the town. Is that incident related to Kris’s current strangeness?

And then, and THEN, there's the Snow Mercy route. That route seems to imply that the Red SOUL is both evil, and very much not Kris. Noelle says Kris isn't like themself, that their voice changes strangely, and she can still hear the creepy voice even when Kris is downed.

How to make sense of this all?

A Theory on Kris and the Red SOUL

One idea is that as scary and zombie-like as Kris looks without the SOUL, they're probably a nice, if lonely kid who desperately wants friends after their big brother went to college. (And possibly after something traumatic happened to them/their neighbor.) They're creating the Dark Worlds for the sake of fun and escapism.

But the Red SOUL puts an end to Kris's happy fantasies. Indeed, if the Red SOUL gives up, "the world is covered in darkness." So without the Red SOUL, would Kris simply keep creating fountains...? (What ARE the fountains, why can Kris and theoretically any Lightener create them?)

Maybe in the normal route, the Red SOUL is trying to gently help Kris move on and accept reality in some way. At the very least, I suspect Ralsei is working toward this goal.

But in that case... that's a pretty strange way for the Red SOUL to go about it, forcibly taking control of Kris to the point that the kid notices and seems to greatly resent it.

But what if the Red SOUL didn't have a choice about this arrangement either?

After all, the Red SOUL's customized vessel was discarded at the start of Chapter 1... and it was placed into Kris instead.

Here's a question: will Kris die if they're without a SOUL for too long?

Because there are an awful lot of moments in these games where characters break free of something they are bound to, but it doesn't end well: -Spamton collapses when his strings are cut. -The Darkeners can move freely outside their origin world for a while, but eventually turn to statues if they stay in another world. -Regardless of whether Berdly removes the Queen’s wires himself, he's exhausted and unable to fight any more after being under her control. -And when Kris takes the Red SOUL out of their body, their movements become slow and clumsy. Like it's a struggle for them to move at all.

Meanwhile in Undertale, post-Pacifist Asriel could maintain his form to say goodbye, but without SOUL(s), he inevitably returns to being Flowey.

So here's a theory: Kris died and/or lost their original soul. Perhaps due to some action/inaction on Noelle's part in the exploration incident. And as a last-ditch resort to keep them alive, the Red SOUL was somehow implanted in Kris.

(Also maybe Dess died/went missing at the same time...?)

And now, the Red SOUL the only thing keeping Kris around. 

But just like in Undertale, it seems like Deltarune SOULs have wills of their own.

Which means Kris's current state is similar to the Chara-Asriel fusion, or Omega Flowey, or even Frisk-Chara. Control of the body is shared. The difference is that instead of the SOUL we play representing the original owner/will of the body, this time the SOUL we're playing as is the intruder.

Essentially, this time around we are playing the role of the Chara-equivalent instead of the Frisk-equivalent!

(Though whether Kris themself is more of Chara or Frisk I’ll leave to other theorists...)

Anyway, while Kris likely wishes to be rid of the SOUL and dislikes this whole body sharing arrangement, they know they can't survive without it. And perhaps Kris being in a partially soulless state might explain why they do questionable stuff like creating Dark Worlds and slashing their mom's car tires in order to play with their friends. (Again, see also: Asriel/Flowey.)

But when the Red SOUL and Kris are in alignment, things go okay. The Red SOUL suggests commands, but Kris is willing to follow and seems to enjoy being with Susie and Ralsei.  

Let’s Talk About Snow Mercy

It's when the Red SOUL and Kris aren't in alignment... well. That seems to be what's happening in the Snow Mercy route. That kind of situation sure didn't go so hot with Frisk and Chara in Undertale, so I doubt this will end nicely for Kris and the Red SOUL either. At the very least, Kris seems to have been visibly upset after what happened with Noelle in this route.

(By the way, there are two other moments in Chapter 2 when Susie asks if Kris is okay - first after the normal Spamton NEO fight and subsequent discussion of what it meant and second after she and Kris approach the bunker.

Three different moments, but Kris appears to react similarly. Are all of these things related? The bunker, Kris being puppeted, and the events of the Snow Mercy route?)

Meanwhile, here’s a contrast. Undertale's Murder Route seemed to exist for the sake of curiosity and power - either the "Player" or Frisk's desires, whichever interpretation you subscribe to. And the changes to the world were all logical consequences of that - because of the Fallen Child's rampage, friendly NPCs disappear, major characters fight you more seriously, etc.

But the actions in Snow Mercy are... weirdly specific, weirdly unpredictable. It doesn't come across as a simple power trip. Instead, Snow Mercy is a bunch of really bizarre actions that feel even more mysterious to the player as they are to Noelle and Kris. I sure wouldn't have guessed that backtracking to the trash heap and freezing a bunch of enemies would lead to new items spontaneously appearing and then giving Noelle access to a scary new spell. It's like something straight out of a creepypasta!

The overall tone that comes across to me is that the Red SOUL seems to know what it's doing, even while the player is kept in the dark. And given Noelle's responses, it almost seems like the SOUL is trying to remind her of events/actions from her past, events which are obviously unknown to the player. All of which leads me to think that the Red SOUL has motives and goals of its own... so just like Undertale, this probably isn't a situation of the "Player" being a fourth wall-breaking force either.

The Red SOUL is its own character.

And I'm certainly curious to find out more about them!

#undertale #deltarune #deltarune chapter 2 #frisk #kris #chara #noelle #the red soul #no separate player #undertale analysis #deltarune analysis #my ramblings #read more #is this my first ever deltarune/undertale analysis post? #huh I think it is! #haha I guess I've always just been a reader until now

[theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin]

One thing that has always bothered me about the magical system in HP is how much it... doesn’t exist? No one questions anything, there’s almost no theoretical exploration, and Hermione Granger (someone I’ve always found to be of average intelligence at best) is the brightest witch of her age.

Some characters seem to be inexplicably more powerful, but I wonder if it isn’t simply a matter of discipline and will-power.

What are your thoughts on magic? We never really see what light vs. dark entails, so fanfic authors tend to make it up as they go along, but do you have any head-canons about how magic works in HP?

I mean, to be fair, it wasn’t really the point of JKR’s series. She just wanted to write about a kid going to a magic boarding school in Scotland with this quirky witch aesthetic. 

No need for her to placate us uber nerds who demand a sensible explanation to the minutia of her magical system. 

Right, but yes, it clearly bothers me too. No one questions anything, there’s no understanding of why wands and spells even work, or why it has to be in this weird pseudo-Latin. No one even bothers to learn Latin, for that matter, and you think they would given the damn spells. 

Hermione Granger is the brightest witch of her age given that “her age” is either around 30 people (the amount of people in her year) or else around 300 (the population of Hogwarts at a given time) which is a pitiful amount. She also is an extremely hard worker and actually reads her textbooks, sadly I think this gets you ahead of 95% of the population.

Part of the reason I think the Wizarding World thinks like this is that they’re this incredibly tiny, cut off, insular society. Generally, when you have a small society cut off like that you tend to lose innovation or even understanding of technology you have.

But that’s not what you asked. Right.

Personally, I think there is no light and dark magic. Magic is just this part of the natural universe that muggles, for whatever reason, are not able to directly access. It’s neither good nor bad, it just is. For that matter, I don’t think spells themselves really exist, or rather, they’re not what magic really is in its purest form but instead a way that humans can easily access and control magic to perform a certain task. Kind of a glorified API if you will. 

So, dark magic and light magic are instead arbitrary labels that wizards apply to their own tool box based on the functions of that tool. If you have a tool that is only designed for/can be used for the murder and torture of sentient beings: well, that’s bad, we’ll call that dark. That said, do I think the spells themselves are inherently evil? No. It’s like if you open up your tool box, pick out a sledgehammer, and go, “This, my child, is an instrument of pure evil and you must never touch it.” Well, that’s a bad comparison, it’d be like taking a handgun out of your tool box and saying “this is a dark weapon”. Now, this gets into a debate I don’t want to get into, but to me dark spells are a lot like handguns (they’re designed for only one purpose and there’s no squirming your way out of what that purpose is).

Now, I think wizards have forgotten this (mostly because they don’t understand what spells or magic is), and so they get very hung up on the labels of spells or even just your odd genetic trait (i.e. parseltongue). So, we have these weird moments where someone uses, say, the severing charm to cut somebody open in the middle of the street. And it’s less bad than if they had used the killing curse to kill them painlessly and easily, because the severing charm’s not dark magic. 

It’s like... If someone were to walk out and bash someone over the head with a sledgehammer until it kills them it’s less evil than if they shot them in the head with a handgun.

Wizards seem to miss the point of this. 

As for what magic is, I believe it’s... direct energy that wizards are able to access in a way that muggles (thus far) cannot. What do I mean by thus far? Well, look at electricity. In ye olden days, I’m sure that if you asked a wizard they would say that making artificial light without flame is a property solely done by magic and muggles are not capable of it. Well, muggles then did it, and suddenly the definition and parameters of magic change. Wizards are kind of like chess grand masters who suddenly lose to your AI du jour, who say that it doesn’t count because the AI didn’t really do it like a human would. It’s not real intelligence.

I don’t believe people have magic in and of themselves, any more than anyone else does at any rate, because we see too little differences between powerful and mediocre wizards. You’re either a squib or you’re not, there doesn’t really seem to be a spectrum, and those who struggle with spells appear to do so for other reasons (Neville has severe confidence issues and is traumatized, Harry’s an idiot, etc.) 

I think what separates the great wizards from the rest is hard work, the ability to read books and learn from them, even an inkling of understanding of how spells really work and how to create them (and this makes you Voldemort level right here), and a good ear to be able to pronounce your ridiculous pseudo Latin.

The wand is a tool specifically designed so that, with repeatable easy to understand steps, you can perform a whole array of tasks and even use them as building blocks to develop a new spell (combine swishes, flicks, and various garbled sentences together in such a way and BAM new spell).

Your wand, in other words, is your API to direct and access untold amounts of energy from the universe.

But people have forgotten that so instead what you memorize are very specific function calls that will prove useful in your daily life.

As for the wand and spells themselves, well, here’s my hokey ridiculous theory on how that came about. A long time ago, a brilliant foreigner enters the Roman Empire with a revolutionary idea that puts him on the level of Einstein/Newton/Feynman Name Your Stupidly Brilliant Physicist. He says, hey, how about instead of doing these time consuming magical rituals we develop a tool that, in a matter of seconds, allows us to perform truly complicated and powerful magic any time we want. No more relying on having the right ingredients about, virgin sacrifices, the full moon, etc.

Everyone probably laughs at him, but then he goes off and designs a rudimentary wand, and through probably some uber ritual that was dangerous as hell implements this system by which by flicking your wand a certain way and saying basic commands like “levitate”, “repair”, etc. you can perform these tasks.

Only, the guy’s foreign and Good Will Hunting (no formal education in the empire), so he doesn’t actually speak Latin. So what you have instead is this weird half-Latin like, “Leviupwards Fly”, “Repair-o”, etc. 

It sounds dumb as hell, but goddammit it works, and more it gives Roman wizards an unheard of advantage against their enemy wizards who are all stuck doing these stupid rituals. They suddenly have a vast military might, so long as they use these wands and spells this guy came up with.

Everybody who’s anybody, who wants to win a fight, is now using wands. Wandcraft becomes a huge deal and people specialize in fine tuning these things exactly so as to get the maximum efficiency for a particular user.

And they probably go up to our guy and say, “Hey, buddy, can you make this in actual Latin? I can barely remember what it is I’m supposed to say to get this to work” and after the hours, and hours, and hours he spent making this thing that nobody helped him with he goes, “DO IT YOURSELF, BITCH”. And they never do because they’re too damn lazy/have no idea how he actually did it and any attempt to recreate it ends up with something that’s pitiful and doesn’t work. 

So, they’re all stuck with it, and thousands of years later they forget this guy even existed and while there’s a recognition that not all magic has to be performed by wands there’s just this feeling that the wand is the magic. And so no one will ever come up with an English/French/Whatever version where when you say “Up” the thing goes up. 

And that’s “The History of Magic” as brought to you by The Carnivorous Muffin.

#ask #harry potter #magic #headcanons #anti hermione granger #anti harry potter

[littlesmartart]

Leverage AU thoughts

okay so I wanted to keep the worldbuilding for the AU in that specific photoset relatively short for the sake of how the post worked, but I've seen a lot of questions in the tags so here is some more information for you all, under the cut because it got LONG:

MORALITY: okay so I called this the "(sort of) Leverage AU" because it basically flips the Leverage concept of "criminals work together with one non-criminal for the greater good" into "one criminal persuades a bunch of non-criminals that law =/= morality and that sometimes to make sure the bad guys get justice you have to work around legality". Obviously some people are easier to persuade than others (Huaisang has always been pretty ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ about the law, but before he joins the team he insists all of his crimes have been Theoretical, and besides, pirating movies isn't real crime, da-ge, god), and some of them are a little troubled by it but have their own reasons for joining (Mingjue has a LOT of issues with it, but joins to protect Huaisang for That One Job, and then stays with the insistence that a. they don't kill anyone, b. they don't involve anyone who doesn't super deserve it, and c. that their goal is always to get evidence so the mark can be convicted and the mark is always handed over to the appropriate authorities at the end of the job. he has a little more moral flexibility than canon Mingjue because of his Complicated Past He Wants To Atone For, but he still has an incredibly strong internal moral code that he absolutely will not violate. Jiang Cheng cares more about the law in principle, rather than personally, and as soon as he sees that they can get Justice that the law can't, he's sold). Xichen has the hardest time of it; he jumps into the first job without protest because Meng Yao asks (and Meng Yao never ever asks for anything, so it... it must be important, right? And Jin Guangshan definitely deserves it). After that he has a lot of internal struggling going on, and he's usually the one in the team trying to steer them towards legal means, and going through the "correct" channels. He probably has a breakdown about it at the end of a season and spends the next season Travelling To Find Himself. He winds up coming back to the team when, on one of his travels, he watches a family he's staying with lose everything after being targeted by a conman, but because of a dirty police chief the evidence is destroyed. They refuse to take his money when he tries to help, and he realises that they only way to get them justice... is to call in the team. That's not to say he is 100% cool with everything from then on, and he definitely draws the line at certain criminal acts (stealing for the fun of it he is not okay with, for example, and he gives a Hard No on the suggestion of trying White Rabbit) but for the most part he accepts the concept of what they do as being for the greater good.

GRIFTER XICHEN: yeah it's ridiculous and implausible but hear me out... that just makes it better. Because this man is terrible at improv and can only lie when he's in character (you see that means it's not lying then, it's just ACTING) and doesn't drink and absolutely will not seduce a mark past the level of general flirting... and yet he's somehow a wildly successful grifter??? How??? I'll tell you how: he's so fucking handsome and kind and charming and cultured that pretty much everyone who meets him just... melts a little bit and, with some coaxing, gives him whatever he needs. IT'S LIKE A FREAKIN SUPERPOWER and it's absolutely ridiculous. With the added bonus that he's juuust famous enough that the average person might kind of think he looks familiar, which means he's very good at coming across like he totally belongs wherever he's seen. Of course he works here, he's been here for months... don't you recognise him?

NO WOMEN ON THE TEAM: look, in Meng Yao's defence, when he put together this team he thought it would only be for one job, he wasn't trying to future-proof it! But yes, it can sometimes be an issue if they don't have time to plan ahead, and he and Huaisang - as the most stereotypically feminine members of the team, and by far the best liars - will usually take on any female roles they need if they're in a pinch and can't call in outside help, although all of them are ready to take on roles of different genders if need be (female roles are actually the only way to persuade Huaisang to grift, and he has an extensive shoe collection for such roles that he likes to expand by billing to the company account... Meng Yao is deeply unimpressed by this).

OTHER CHARACTERS: when Meng Yao started this, he worked very very hard to keep his siblings and the rest of his family out of it, to keep them all away from any fallout in case it went wrong (and also to stop any pesky Moral Issues from getting in the way). When that was over and they started taking regular cases, he relaxed the rule a little - Mianmian will sometimes step in to help if she can be sold on how bad the person is they're taking down, Zonghui can be relied upon if they need extra muscle, and Wen Qing is their go-to Ask No Questions doctor. Wei Wuxian frequently gets roped in to consult, as, if you give him six packs of hot chips, ten cans of monster, twelve hours, and a laptop, he can become a specialist in almost anything. Jiang Cheng was very very resistant towards the idea of his brother being allowed in the team, even just as a consultant, but the MOMENT Wei Wuxian was given any access to Shenanigans there was no fucking stopping him. In the later jobs Qin Su accidentally gets pulled into one of the cons and turns out to be a WAY better grifter than anyone could have imagined, so she winds up on the "ally call list". Meng Yao is both perturbed and proud, but absolutely draws the line at teenage Mo Xuanyu being allowed to help.

PAIRINGS: flipping the "two parents + three kids" dynamic in Leverage, this AU has 3zun and Sangcheng - so "three gege + two didi". Xiyao have a One That Got Away sort of past, and Xichen joins the team SPECIFICALLY because Meng Yao expresses emotional vulnerability by asking for help fOr OnCe In HiS fUcKiNg LiFe. Nielan dated when they were teens, and are happy to be reunited, but Mingjue refuses to rekindle a romantic relationship until Xiyao sort their shit out because it's obvious to anyone with eyes how hung up on Meng Yao Xichen is. Nieyao have a certain amount of "I'll work with you towards a common cause but that doesn't mean I have to like you" vibe, but veeery slooowlyyy wind up bonding over doing stuff they're not proud of for something they were so sure was a worthy cause at the time, but now they just feel jaded and used (there's a lot of arguments along the lines of "oh, so my corporate espionage is worse than what you did in spec ops... because the military says that what you did was legal. RIGHT. OKAY. SURE."). After several years of will-they-won't-they struggle, 3zun do get together, and everyone is very relieved. As for Sangcheng... it starts off as Huaisang just flirting kind of obnoxiously with Jiang Cheng, who rolls his eyes and snarks back, and then naturally Huaisang winds up catching feelings and is like [meme voice] Haha, I'm In Danger! He is unwilling to act on his feelings because he doesn't believe that Jiang Cheng likes him that way, and continues to believe that right up until the day Jiang Cheng snaps, and grabs him and kisses him, and is like "if I didn't actually like you flirting with me I would have punched you in the face years ago" and Huaisang is like "huh. Yeah that's probably true."

#3zun #sangcheng #leverage AU #AUs #meng yao #lan xichen #nie mingjue #nie huaisang #jiang cheng #the untamed

[akitokihojo]

Monster - Chapter 19

chapter index

“How far off are we talking?” Inuyasha asked, kicking out the fire as the rest of his team hurried to pack up camp.

“Ten miles, give or take.” Koga answered.

“How are you so sure it’s Hakudoshi?” Kagome asked next, strapping her bag over her shoulders.

“Anyone want to fill us in on what a Hakudoshi is?” Miroku implored with a bemused frown.

“A short, evil minion that we need to kill.” The wolf demon answered.

Blinking blankly, Miroku shifted his eyes over to Kagome for an actual explanation.

“Naraku created a group of demons. As far as we know, he had five. We killed one already, so now he’s down to four: Hakudoshi, Kagura, Byakuya, and Goshinki. Hakudoshi, we really don’t have a lot of information on other than he’s a child and has long, white hair.”

“He’s a child.” Miroku gasped.

“An evil one!” Koga feebly defended.

“Miroku, think of it as a design.” Inuyasha spoke. “Remember how we explained Naraku to you? How he’s an inorganic half demon? Anything he creates is essentially inorganic, as well. Child or not, Hakudoshi is still a demon of his that needs to go down.”

“Excuse me?” Koga sort of gaped at how that bit of information was so casually mentioned and how no one else was the least bit fazed by it.

“He’s just a little boy though, right?” Sango inquired sympathetically. “Isn’t there a chance he can be turned around and saved?”

“No, I think he’s a bit too far gone.” Kagome grimaced. “We had a friend that was sort of tortured into shape by Naraku’s guys. Hakudoshi was the main offender and was a fan of sharp objects.”

“Oh, okay. Evil child with a knife. Got it.” Miroku cringed, immediately throwing aside any further argument he could have thought of.

“The only one that’s worth saving is Kagura, but that’s a story for another time. We’ve gotta get going.” Kagome added.

“Hello?” Koga called, demanding their attention. “Inuyasha, what the fuck did you just say about Naraku?”

“Oh, that he’s an inorganic half demon? Yeah. You didn’t know that?” The hanyou shrugged sardonically. It was high time the secret got out to all that were involved since everything was so real now, but that didn’t mean he planned on sitting Koga and Sesshomaru down to have a nice, mature, informative conversation. That just meant he’d openly talk about it in front of them so that they could piece it all together on their own. It wasn’t like they could do much with it, anyway. He kept it under wraps for the protection of himself and everyone around him. Now, there was no further reason for it.

“Yeah, come on, dude.” Miroku arched a brow, playing along. He felt it was only his right since the guy just tried to punk him. “Even we knew that.”

“How the fuck… Inuyasha, what are you talking about? What does this mean?” Koga questioned seriously.

“It means he’s not a full demon like he wants everyone to believe. I can tell you’re looking for his weakness though, and I don’t know that. Technically, at this point, him being half demon is useless information. It’s nothing more than a fun fact. Half demon or not, he’s still a force to be reckoned with.”

“No, but half demons have specific traits about them, don’t they? They have a time of the month dedicated to basically emphasizing their weaknesses, right?”

“We turn human, yes.” Inuyasha tried not to grumble with his admittance. It was common knowledge. What wasn’t was the day and time it happened. “Naraku, doesn’t. I don’t exactly know what he transforms into, but it’s definitely not human, and potentially even more damaging to him. Be that as it may, do you know when that is?”

“Obviously not.”

“Then, it’s useless information.”

“How do you know this? Did you see it?”

“A long ass fucking time ago, I did. I was a kid; I wasn’t paying attention to the phase of the moon. Unless you know where he is and want to camp out every fucking night outside his place to wait and see if you miraculously feel his demonic energy die off, I’m going to have to repeat, this is all useless information now. It serves as nothing more than a stab to his ego.”

“Dammit.” Koga hissed. He was hoping that since it was new information to him, it’d be something they could grasp onto and utilize in the future, but the mutt was right. No one knew where Naraku was hiding, and camping out was obviously out of the question. Not to mention, a monster like that with the pride he harbors would take extensive efforts to protect himself during his moment of incapacitation. As quickly as he’d clung to the hope, the wolf demon was going to have to drop it. “Can you guys keep up while running? We should head out.”

“Kagome, get on.” Inuyasha kneeled, securing her rear as she climbed onto his back. With a little hike up, he was set to carry her at a decent speed.

“Kirara, let’s go.” Sango firmly ordered, and the small cat demon by her side let out a little meow, hopping into an open space as she transformed into her larger, saber-toothed version.

“Uh, there are things you don’t see every day, and there are things you see that make you think you took a little too much of Kaede’s good shit. What the fuck is that?” Koga pointed to the large cat demon, beyond perplexed.

“Kirara.” Sango replied nonchalantly, jumping on the demon’s back with ease. Miroku followed, not quite as skillfully, but not as sloppily as he used to either. “She’s my cat.”

“You’re not high, buddy.” Miroku grinned. “This is not an illusion.”

“Kagome, you’re from a weird ass village.” He shook his head, heading off in the direction he came from as he led the squad forward.

Koga had had to slow his pace down a bit since he knew he ran faster than the average demon and he didn’t want to lose his new comrades, but he was glad to hear no complaints from anyone. In fact, it was him that ended up doing the complaining. By the time they reached the fork where he’d left Sesshomaru, the high and mighty dog demon was nowhere around. As fruitless as it was to even call out for him, given his scent and aura weren’t in the immediate vicinity, the wolf demon still found himself audibly searching.

“Let me get this straight,” Inuyasha began, safely setting Kagome back down to her feet. “You told Sesshomaru to wait for you?”

“Yeah.” Koga frowned.

“And, you actually expected him to listen?”

“He said he would!”

“Did he say he would or did he grunt?”

Koga paused as he recalled the conversation with Sesshomaru, realizing it was the latter that he’d received. “Fuck!”

“Who’s Sesshomaru?” Miroku asked after climbing down from Kirara.

“Inuyasha’s older brother.” Kagome answered.

“Half brother.” Inuyasha corrected.

“They don’t get along.” She continued with a grimace.

“From the smell of it, he’s long gone.” The hanyou mentioned, his nose in the air to gather the area. “He went right. We’ll go left. There’s no use in you trying to catch up with him, so just come with us.”

“What happened to no teaming up?” Koga meagerly mocked, barely putting any effort behind his deriding tone.

“You can come with us, you can stay behind, or you can seek out the imp fucker. I don’t care. I was just giving you another option.” Inuyasha rolled his eyes, leading the way toward the left route.

“Alright, alright. No need to beg, Inuyasha. I’ll help you out, but only because you asked so nicely.”

Inuyasha barely bit back his groan, his head falling as he kept walking. He was going to regret this, wasn’t he?

“Koga, you never answered my question from before.” Kagome said, jogging a little to walk beside him as they all continued down the path. “How do you know this is Hakudoshi? Didn’t you guys say the underlings all give off the same scent as Naraku?”

“Oh, yeah. They do. We caught something feint and followed it. You’re not gonna like this, but we ended up coming across a house at the edge of the woods -“ Koga paused, pointing behind them to the West. “And, everyone inside was…”

“Dead?” Miroku attempted to finish for him, wondering if that was the word he was going for.

“I mean, yes, but a little more than that.”

“How can you be a little more than dead?” Sango asked.

“It was gruesome, okay? The bodies were mangled. It was an entire family torn to shreds. The smell of Naraku was strong there, so we followed it out. We got all the way to this path here, and the scent of him went down both ways. Hence, why I came and found you. That way, no matter what, more ground is covered and we can hopefully corner the fucker. Sesshomaru was adamant that it couldn’t be Kagura, Byakuya doesn’t look like the type who’d want to dirty his nails doing something like that, but who’s the one we discovered has a thing for torment? Hakudoshi.”

“You cannot possibly be that stupid, can you?” Inuyasha gruffly asked, abruptly stopped in his tracks as he spun around. His brows were furrowed and his lips turned down in disapproval. “This is most likely the biggest trap anyone has ever willingly walked into.”

“No, that was definitely considered.” Koga plainly responded. “But, it’s a chance we have to take. And, one you readily hopped on board with without any further information.”

“Because, I decided to trust you for once. A big mistake on my end, clearly.”

“So, if you knew it was potentially a trap, you’d let it all slide and allow him to get away?” The wolf demon challenged.

“I would have taken a moment to establish a plan.” Inuyasha scowled.

“Hakudoshi could theoretically lead us to Naraku. Sesshomaru and I already came up with a plan. Cover more ground and pin him.”

“You’re forgetting one major thing here, Koga.”

“Goshinki.” Miroku concluded. It was the only name he’d heard that hadn’t been considered.

“Right.” Inuyasha assertively confirmed. “That’s a creation we have literally no information on, and you two are going off of assumptions. Assumptions that could get us all killed.”

“What’s happened to you, Inuyasha? You used to be so carefree and reckless.” Koga teased. “Now, all of a sudden, you’re rational and want to put as much thought into everything possible? Why’s that?”

Inuyasha didn’t answer. His jaw clenched tight, and his amber eyes pierced through Koga’s blue irises.

“Oh, got it.” The wolf laughed, patting Kagome’s shoulder. “It’s because your sweetheart almost died, right? Well, don’t worry. I’ll be right here to save her again if anything happens.”

“You son of a -“ Inuyasha ground out, stopping himself before he could throw a punch at him.

“Koga!” Kagome pushed his hand off of her.

“Kagome, what?” Miroku demanded, marching forward.

“Goddammit.” She grumbled before turning to him. “Look, there was an incident, but I’m fine.”

“What happened?”

“Naraku’s puppet kicked my ass; I told you that already.”

“You didn’t tell me it’d almost killed you!”

“It’s not imperative knowledge, Miroku. It happened, it’s done, I’m okay, so let’s drop it.”

“What happened?” He repeated more sternly.

She hesitated. She didn’t want this to make her cousin worry more, which was why she’d chosen to never include that tidbit of information in the first place. It wasn’t necessarily her most prideful moment, either. It was terrifying. For she and Inuyasha. Bringing it up would help no one, and would ease the pressure on no one’s shoulders. Still, Miroku pierced her with his indigo stare, and she felt compelled to give him something.

“He tossed me off of the mountainside and into the river after the heavy rains had filled it. Koga saved me.”

Miroku could say nothing, his hand flying to rub the tension from his forehead as he closed his eyes. This was why she didn’t want to tell him. What good is it doing? It seemed to only be reinforcing his stress and the longer he was silent, the heated sighs leaving his nostrils, the more uncomfortable she was becoming. She could only hope he was taking this long because he was processing the information and throwing it away. He got what he wanted, there was nothing anyone could do to change it, and now the best thing to do was to let it all go.

But, then his dark blue eyes transferred to Inuyasha. “I thought you’d said she’d been safe with you.”

“Hey!” Kagome quickly shouted, though she didn’t immediately regain his attention. Nevertheless, she spoke. And, she spoke powerfully. It was like she could feel the admonishment sitting heavily in Inuyasha’s chest, and she wasn’t about to allow that to overtake him again. “It is not his fault! My safety is in no one’s hands but mine, so don’t act like I need bodyguards standing at every side of me! I am not fragile, you know I’m not fragile! I know it upsets you that you weren’t there, Miroku, but that’s the thing! You weren’t there! You don’t know how it all went down! So, don’t blame Inuyasha, because you don’t know how hard he was trying to save me!” Finally, his look had shifted back to her, and it seemed his frown became something less angry and hinting more on the remorseful side. “Redirect it towards me! Ask me what I had done wrong! I can list everything! I was too scared, I let my emotions get the better of me, I wasn’t strong enough, I hesitated - I can go on! But, you’re not gonna do that, are you? If you aren’t going to blame me, then I can guarantee you that it’s not going to make you feel better to place the blame on anyone but Naraku, so just drop it! It happened, it’s done! Let it go, Miroku!”

Swiftly, while the heat still bubbled in her core, Kagome turned around to face Koga. “And, you! What was that? Were you just trying to gloat because you didn’t like that Inuyasha opposed you!? Grow up!”

“I - I didn’t know that not everyone here was aware of what had happened.” Koga feebly defended.

“No, you just didn’t think before you said anything! You were throwing whatever you could out there to get under his skin! If you want to tag along, you need to learn to communicate better, understand!? Work with us or go find Sesshomaru!”

Then she turned to Inuyasha, sighing out some heat and allowing her glower to relax a little before speaking to him. He was innocent, he didn’t deserve her temper. So, with one exhale, she pushed as much infuriation from her being so that she could continue semi-reasonably with him. “I don’t really think that there’s any way we can come up with a plan for this. I think the best thing we can agree on is to be on high alert. Expect the unexpected. Or, did you want to turn around?”

“No, you’re right.” Inuyasha agreed.

“Okay.” Kagome breathed, though she faced the others in challenge. “Anyone else want to say anything?”

The group was quiet, and she’d noticed Koga’s tail drooped almost fearfully, his azure eyes on the floor and away from her. Good. It was immature of him to bring up her near death experience anyway; he should be ashamed of himself. He didn’t just cause Inuyasha to recoil, but gave her, her cousin, and Sango grief in doing so, as well. What an idiotic move.

“Great. Then, let’s keep going.” She concluded, turning around on her heel and walking forward at a quick pace. Everyone else, though, had to stay put for a quick breather.

“What did I tell you about pushing her?” Sango asked Miroku, coming forward to give him a half-sympathetic rub on his arm.

“Yeah, I know.” He grimaced, turning to follow after his cousin so that she wasn’t wandering off alone. “I’ll go calm her down.”

Inuyasha pinched the bridge of his nose. “The answer you were looking for is, I’m not sixteen, seventeen years old anymore, Koga.” He sighed. “But, it does also help to have someone else to consider when making your decisions. You should try it sometime.”

“That was terrifying.” Koga admitted.

“Yeah.” Sango laughed, her cat demon companion following her forward. “That’s what you get.”

Kagome could hear the footsteps approaching, easily identifying the gait as Miroku’s, and as soon as he was close enough, she glanced over her shoulder at him. “I’m sorry I left home without telling you, and I’m sorry if that felt like betrayal, but can you please try to get over it?”

“Well, that was blunt.” He muttered. “I wasn’t betrayed, Kagome. I was worried sick. Look, stop for a second.”

“No, because then the others will catch up and I don’t want them to overhear us.”

“Okay, fine, fair enough. Just try to look at it from my point of view. Please. Our entire lives, I’ve spent looking after you. Not just after I moved in when dad and uncle died, but always. I was the one who gave you the boost on top of the counter to get the cookie jar, and then helped you down. I was the one who put a bandaid on your knee when you tripped and fell. I was the one who stood in front of you when the henchmen came to our village. I know you don’t need protecting, but I’m your older brother. Whether you need it or not, I want it for you. I like to know that you’re safe, and when I don’t, it scares me.”

“That’s very sweet, but it also sounds like you’re saying if you weren’t there to monitor the situation yourself and something went wrong, you’re going to be judgmental about it.”

“How did you get that from anything I just said?”

“‘I like to know that you’re safe, and when I don’t, it scares me.’”

Miroku grimaced. “That wasn’t supposed to be turned against me.”

“I don’t know what you want from me, Miroku. I’ve said I was sorry like ten times already. I can’t go back to two months ago and change my mind, and even if I could, I wouldn’t. You can be mad at me all you want, I completely understand, but can you please try not to take it out on Inuyasha?”

“I didn’t take it out on him. I asked him a simple question.”

Kagome stopped walking then, pinning him with a stare that read right through his weak facade.

“O-okay,” He babbled awkwardly. “So, it was less simple and more a question that put him on the spot. I met the guy yesterday, Kagome. I don’t know him yet, so if he’s telling me he’s ensured your safety but Koga’s telling me you almost died, I feel like I have the right to -“

“Be judgmental?” She interjected, walking again.

“No.”

“He never said that, anyway. He’s contributed to my safety, but no one can ensure anything. Especially out here. You said it yourself last night, you and Sango have been through the wringer, as well. How many times have you guys been really hurt to the point where you needed to lay low?”

He bobbed his head in a small motion. “A couple times.”

“Right. It’s impossible to know what to expect outside of the boundaries of home, and we’ve all had to learn that the hard way. I’m not asking you to be his best friend, I’m asking you to take common sense into consideration, and to think before you react. You cant control what happened in our separation, and you just need to come to terms with the fact that I’m fine. I know you want to protect me, and I sincerely appreciate it. I do. I want to protect you too, which was why I suggested you two go home. But, you made your choice, and as much as I wanted to fight you on it, I respected it. It’s not like you’re blind to the craziness we’re dealing with; I’m sure you’ve gotten a pretty good taste of the morbidity out here. All I’m saying is, what’s done is done. Let it be done. Stop trying to make up for lost time, and just be with me now.”

“Okay, okay, okay. I get it. I’m sorry, but I’m also not sorry. I didn’t want to upset you, but it’s sort of shocking to find out you’d almost died. You can’t blame me for responding in a manner that wasn’t exactly the most positive.”

“In my defense, you weren’t supposed to find that out.” Kagome sighed. “I’d wanted to keep that from you, and clearly for good reason.”

“Why? Why wouldn’t you want me to know that?”

“Because, that information only hurt you, Miroku. Are you telling me it’s a good thing you know now?”

“Okay, I see your point.” He finally relented.

“It’s not like I’m trying to keep secrets from you or offend you in any way. I’m just keeping my business on a need-to-know basis.”

“I understand now. I do. Is there anything else I need to know?” He gave a crooked grin to try and lighten the mood.

Kagome heard the footsteps of the rest of their group coming around the bend not too far behind them now, and she peeked over her shoulder to make sure Inuyasha wasn’t in sight. Still, to be respectful of his sensitive hearing, she chose to keep her voice low. “Yeah. The day I’d almost died, it was really hard on Inuyasha, too. He was scared he’d lost me. He’d felt like he’d failed me. So, what you said - salt in the wound, Miroku. Not cool.”

“Oh. Ouch.” His smile stiffened. Faltered. “My bad. I can’t even apologize to him, though. I take it from the way you’d whispered that I’m not supposed to know.”

“Yup. Just keep it in mind for the next time you want to act like a tough guy. You don’t know the full story. I know that’s what’s bothering you, but handle it.”

“Are you saying I’m not tough?”

Kagome stopped walking and analyzed the size of her cousin’s biceps, teasing him by pursing her lips disappointedly as she pinched the muscle. The flicker of her brown eyes up to his said it all and Miroku gasped.

“Is this what I get? Is this the treatment I get because I care about you?”

“No, it’s the treatment you get because you’ve got puny arms.”

“The audacity! You’re small, too!”

“Miroku, she stabbed a guy in the groin with an arrow yesterday. I wouldn’t say that if I were you.” Sango chimed as they all appeared down the trail.

At hearing that, Koga’s eyes went wide, aghast, and he swiftly spun around on his heel mid-step to head back in the direction they’d come in. He’d been the most recent to piss her off, so it was evident he was the one she’d have no problem turning on if he spoke out of pocket again. He’d much rather head out to find Inuyasha’s brother than stick around to potentially share the same fate as arrow-dick-guy. Before he could take another step though, Inuyasha snagged the back of his vest, dragging him along.

“Keep going, wolf. She’ll only turn on you if you pretend to be alpha.”

“Inuyasha, I am alpha. I’m literally the alpha wolf of my pack.” He murmured unnervingly to the mutt.

“I know.” He smirked. “I want to see what happens.”

“Uh,” Inuyasha heard Kagome up ahead, noticing she’d stopped walking, she and her cousin facing off to their right. From his vantage point a little down the path, he couldn’t see what they were gazing at, but he could tell there was a break in the trees right where they stood. “It’s a cave.”

“Do you sense anything?”

“Yeah. I think so.”

She was right. The scent was feint, but Naraku’s trail ended here and went inside. He could feel demonic energy, but what was disconcerting was, he couldn’t pinpoint just how dangerous it was. Even worse, from outside of the cave, he felt eyes on him. Eyes he felt would only peer harder the moment they went inside.

“You got anything to help prepare us?” Sango asked. “We haven’t faced anything belonging to Naraku yet. How strong are we talking?”

“That sword on your hip,” Inuyasha pointed. “It’s not just there for show, right?”

“No. I’m highly skilled with it.”

“Good. You’ll find it’s a valuable asset to keep you alive then. Other than that, all I can say is to stay vigilant. If Koga or I tell you to back up, you back up. We tell you to get down, you get down. Understand?”

“You two went from arguing to playing co-leaders?” Miroku asked with an arch of his brow.

“You got heightened senses?” Koga asked. “You got keen instincts?”

He scrunched his nose in regret of his remark. He was on a roll today. “No, but I’ve got nice hair and great listening skills.”

“Wonderful. Then, you’ll be just fine.” The wolf remarked with a wink, bravely leading the way inside.

“Hey, you okay?” Inuyasha checked, grabbing Kagome as he sort of forced her to walk slower and stick behind everyone with him. His arm wrapped around her shoulders as he pulled her closer to kiss her temple, her stride falling in line with his.

“I’m fine.” She dismissed. “Sorry for what he said back there.”

“Don’t be. You still mad?”

“Nah, I was more frustrated than anything. I get where he’s coming from, I just don’t know how to make everyone happy right now.”

“Don’t worry about making everyone happy, kid. He’s spent over sixty days worried about you. By now, it’s almost a learned behavior. Show him he’s got nothing to worry about. Show him what you’ve got. Just like you did with me.”

The advice made sense. It made a lot of sense. Miroku had always stood in front of her, shielded her from so much while growing up, so simply telling him no one needed to do that anymore wasn’t going to be as effective as showing him what she’d learned she could do. He hadn’t been there to see her develop into the conjurer she now was, so his absence went both ways. He was going to have to drop his need for control, and she was going to have to demonstrate her formed abilities.

In reply, she smiled and nodded, glancing up to the hanyou in appreciation. Kagome gave a little perk of her lips to silently request a kiss while he was still so near, and he grinned, leaning down to quickly give her what she’d wanted.

Inside the cave, it was dark. Ominous. Inuyasha was right, he felt closely watched. Almost studied. He jogged ahead to catch up with Koga, the hit from his boots against the cavern floor echoing off the surrounding walls.

“You feel that?”

“Yeah.” Koga agreed, blue eyes searching for the culprit. There was nowhere for anyone to hide, though. Not so close to the entrance at least. The only way to discover the source, he felt, was to delve deeper, but deeper was where it would definitely grow increasingly dangerous. A turn of events they were prepared to expect. No matter what, Koga didn’t like the feeling swimming in his gut. “Come out of hiding! You wanted us to follow you, right!? Well, here we are!”

The wolf demon’s loud voice bounced off of the walls, repeating down the chambers the cave harbored, but no one replied. No one came out from behind a rock, or a nook in the siding, no one approached, no one was there. Except someone was. Someone had to be. This was Naraku’s scent, there was no mistake of that, but for some reason, the demonic aura was so engulfing, it almost felt like they were inside of a demon, itself.

“Well, if they didn’t know we were here before, they sure do now.” Inuyasha remarked dully.

“We give off demonic energy, ourselves, dipshit. Of course, they knew we were here.”

With a roll of his amber eyes, Inuyasha trudged on beside him, remaining observant of their surroundings as they traveled through the tunnels. The deeper they walked, the more sinister the feeling became. It was like wading through a sludge of demonic energy, and that sludge was toxic and thick, almost entrapping. Still, there was no way to pinpoint the source. It was all around, and he was trying to figure out the direction of a stronger pull, but he couldn’t.

Kagome fell behind. Just slightly. Out of nowhere, a very subtle dizziness began to hit her, but she didn’t want to worry anyone. She hadn’t had much water today, so maybe she was a bit dehydrated. It wasn’t bad at all, so there was no need to bring it up or ask for a small break. Maybe it was the energy of the cave. It was putrid, that was for sure. Definitely similar to what she felt when Moryomaru was near. Vile and rotten.

That had to be it. It was just overwhelming. Kagome tried to blink her slight case of vertigo away when the tiniest ache in her head pinched right over her eyes. No one else was reacting, though. Were they not affected by this? With a deep breath and a thick swallow, she pushed it all aside. If the demons of the group, more sensitive than she, could go forward, then Kagome could, too.

The further they went, the worse it got. She found herself squinting to see straight, tensing her throat so her pained sighs wouldn’t alert anyone. Her head wasn’t consistently throbbing, but came in waves. Not even quick waves. In fact, she couldn’t grasp the pattern, sporadically coursing through and causing Kagome’s brow to crease and her nose to crinkle each time. Again, she tried to gather if anyone else was having adverse effects to the atmosphere. Koga and Inuyasha seemed relatively uncomfortable but that was the extent of it, Sango and Miroku appeared fine, and Kirara had reversed her transformation to perch in her owner’s arms. Then, Kagome’s vision blurred momentarily, and her fingers twitched. What was wrong with her?

As much as she didn’t like it, she was going to have to say something. This wasn’t going away. Something was off. She was feeling a haze drifting over her, and it almost seemed like it was legitimately clouding her vision now. Kagome opened her mouth to gather Inuyasha’s attention, but her voice didn’t seem to work. Her body stopped as they all kept going, though she hadn’t told it to. Her brain was sending signals to her legs to keep walking, to her mouth to speak, but her command seemed to be meaningless all of a sudden.

And, when she blinked that time, she opened her eyes to see the bars of a cage before her. It was pitch black all around, not a sound to be heard, not a person in sight. No longer was she dizzy, and her head pounded no more. To her right, her left, beneath her feet, and above her head, she was surrounded by metal that sealed her in. The bars were cold and didn’t budge at all when she thrusted her bodyweight into it, trying to shake the lock free.

The shock to go from behind her group to wherever the hell she was now in a split second had her shaking, her lungs pumping as a panic sprung over her. She called for Inuyasha, Miroku, Sango, Koga, but no one answered. Her voice merely echoed in the darkness she was trapped in, the rattling of her cage from her forceful jerks against the bars hitting her ears over and over as the sound bounced off of walls she couldn’t see.

When she heard someone speaking, Kagome held her breath. Ice pebbled her skin. The voice was that of a child’s, a young boy’s, yet it held the underlying hint of menace. It was like she could sense the smile he wore, the enjoyment on his tongue, but he wasn’t talking to her. What he was saying, it didn’t make sense.

Inuyasha felt a spike, and both he and Koga stopped immediately. Ominous energy no longer filled the air. It was focused now. It was heavily concentrated in one spot. Behind them. The hanyou turned around to scour the open area they’d reached deep within the cave, spotting no one that didn’t belong, but then his stomach unexpectedly sank. It dropped so low, he thought he was going to be sick. The threat they were feeling, it was coming from Kagome.

She stood there, her hands raised up as she steadily moved her fingers one-by-one, her expression blank. He could hear the smallest mumble coming from her lips, but what she was saying, even he couldn’t make out. A sense of dread was overcoming him. Why was he feeling this? Even Koga seemed struck, confounded, saying nothing, but instead, actually taking a step away. The evil, it was growing. Evolving.

Miroku and Sango had turned to look, and Miroku was quick to notice something was wrong with his cousin, but as he went to step forward, Inuyasha hastily reached for his collar, pulling him back.

“Kid?” He cautiously asked. Kagome didn’t even look up from her hands. “Kagome?”

After a moment, she sighed and shook her head, her dark tresses fluttering around her shoulders. She made a few more subtle sounds from her mouth, the only clear word Inuyasha gathered being, “testing.” Otherwise, it was almost like she was learning to speak, clicking her tongue once or twice to discover how to make audible noise. Her brown eyes wandered around the large cavern, blinking as if to adjust to the dull light in the cave, panning over them, up, and then coming back to land on him.

“Kagome.” He tried again, this time more seriously. His heart was pounding as it would in the face of an enemy, his instincts were ready for an attack, but everything felt wrong. This was Kagome. This was his Kagome. He wasn’t supposed to feel this with her; it was all wrong.

Her plush lips parted, and a breathy, “huh,” was released. Her voice was high, sweet, and a timbre she rarely used.

Inuyasha let go of her cousin, knowing he was staying put now, and his fists clenched at his sides. Worse, Tessaiga began to quiver in its sheath, calling for his attention. It only did that in dire situations. It only asked to be released when he neglected to recognize it needed to be wielded for his own protection. It was wrong. It had to be malfunctioning because of the weird aura.

“Oh,” She sighed again, beginning to speak more clearly from then on. “There it is. Finally. That was tough - she’s a tough one.”

“Kagome -“ Sango tried.

“That’s not Kagome.” Inuyasha said, cutting her off.

A smile began to curl at her lips, and it scared him. It scared Inuyasha. It was crooked, arching more in one corner before it expanded on the other end, and her tongue tipped out between her teeth in a playful manner that made his blood go cold. That wasn’t Kagome’s smile, that wasn’t the grin he loved so much. Even Miroku twitched agitatedly at his side, stepping away before he looked at him with disturbance hindering the glow in his eyes.

“What’s wrong with her?” Miroku asked.

“What?” Kagome leaned her head to the side. “Don’t you recognize me…?” Her voice trailed off at the end as she nibbled her bottom lip. “Miroku?”

She seemed unsure of the name she spoke.

“Or, are you Miroku?” She asked, pointing to Koga, ending with a frustrated groan as she tapped her head. “Hang on, it’s a little jumbled in here. She wont let go just yet.” A few more taps. “Come on, lady. Let it go. Ah, no, I was right. Miroku.”

“What’s going on?” He reached, jaw taught.

“And, you’re Koga.” She pointed again to the wolf demon, completely disregarding the question. “Which obviously makes you Inuyasha, and you’re Sango. Got it.”

“Who are you?” Koga asked, stoning as he nobly squared himself.

“I’m Kagome.” She giggled.

“Who are you!?” Koga repeated in a lethal growl.

“Woah. Someone’s testy.” Her smile shifted to a wry smirk. “What are you so upset for? I haven’t done anything yet.”

“Don’t make me ask you again.”

“Or what? You’ll choke me out? Kill me? Look at me, pal. Whose body am I in? If you come at me with those claws of yours, it’s not me you’ll be touching. Come on, use your brain.”

Koga didn’t rebuttal, clenching his jaw and slanting his eyes dangerously, and her gaze bounced around to gather the discomfort written over all the others’ faces. Inuyasha, in particular, seemed the worst off. His hardened features screamed his seething anger, but his golden irises communicated something much different. Something more desperate.

With a grumble in the back of her throat, one that was small and held the attitude a young teenager would, Kagome rolled her eyes and lolled her head slightly, a small stomp being given from her right foot. “You guys are no fun. I’m Hakudoshi. Duh. Who the hell did you think I was?”

“So, this is what you can do? Mind control?” Koga glared.

“Way to simplify it. Don’t do me the dishonor.” Hakudoshi gestured to his entire self inside of Kagome’s body. “This is much more than mind control. I have control over her heart, brain, soul, you name it. Kagome has left the building.”

“Where is she?” Inuyasha questioned, his voice coming off husky.

Hakudoshi pointed to her head. “Right up here. She’s annoying as shit, how do you handle her?”

“Let her go. This is your one warning; let her go.” The hanyou growled. “You hold onto her, you hurt her in any way, not a single one of us will blink when it comes to ripping you apart.”

“You’d hurt your precious lover?”

“You think we don’t know your body is around here somewhere? You honestly think we’re that stupid to believe your entire entity is inside of her right now? No, you’re in this cave, we know that much.”

“But, where?” Her smile widened tauntingly. “This cave goes on for miles, and what makes you think you have that sort of time on your hands? You can go searching for me, but what’s your plan? Is someone going to play babysitter while the others go on a wild goose chase? Not a single one of you is strong enough, and that’s what’s fucking funny. Two humans and three demons against a conjurer. From the looks of it, three of you would be too sentimentally stunted, maybe four of you, and the last one - that’s you, Koga - would just get absolutely wrecked. Or, are you going -"

“Get out of her head, you stupid, fucking brat!” Inuyasha demanded, his claws biting into the heels of his palms with rage that was only building at an uncontrollable speed. How did this happen? It couldn’t have been that quick. Did Kagome feel anything weird, anything abnormal, or was Hakudoshi stealthy while he slid inside and took command.

She arched a brow at the interruption. “Well, that was rude.”

“You’re forgetting something, Hakudoshi.” Miroku spoke. “So long as Kagome is in there, she can still fight back. If one of us has to restrain her while the others go searching for you, so be it. Kagome wouldn’t allow you to hurt us.”

Hakudoshi guffawed, laughing hard as Kagome’s frame doubled over to clutch her stomach. “What!? Again, look at me! I have complete control over her!” He boasted, flailing her arms about. “This is all me, you fucking moron! Kagome can’t stop shit right now! She had just enough darkness in her heart for me to grab hold, and now the fight she’s putting up is worthless. I can utilize the knowledge and skills she’s learned by flipping a switch in her mind. If I want to kill any of you with her abilities, I can and there isn’t a damn thing you guys can do to stop me!”

“What darkness?” Inuyasha asked.

“I’ll actually entertain that question, because it was hard to find and I’m proud of myself. Apparently, holding Kikyo while she died was what did her in. Just a tiny bit. It’s been eating at her for a while now, hasn’t it? That’s not where it started, though. There was a little girl? One she failed to save, or something?” She grimaced carelessly. “I would say that created the smallest, dark spot in her heart, and Kikyo’s gory death made it about the size of a small ink stain. She’s resilient, I’ll give her that. But, not resilient enough.” That last part was almost sung while he emphasized each word of the sentence, tapping her finger in time. “All I need is an inch. So long as there’s darkness, I can take rein.”

Kagome could hear everything that was being said from within her cage, listening to this little boy speak through her. She could hear the others reply to her. It was like she was just a bystander to a conversation while she was also the main focus, and it was driving her insane. She felt completely powerless, rattling the metal bars as hard as she could, but the lock refused to give.

It didn’t surprise her to have darkness in her heart. In fact, what surprised her was how small it was. Kagome was the type of person to pick herself back up again, she never lost hope. In the era they were living in right now, darkness surrounded them, but it was what they fought for that made the difference. She knew that was what had divided her from Kikyo. She knew she’d been strong enough to avoid allowing it to take over her. But, she was human. Kagome was a human who’d been through a lot, who’d had her heart broken, who’d seen others have their hearts broken, who’d had her world turned upside down over and over. So, she wasn’t upset to know her heart had taken a hit. She was upset that her anguish was being manipulated against her.

How was she going to get out of this? Her back was bare; she didn’t have a single weapon on her. She stood in her cage in nothing but the clothes she’d donned that day, stripped of her bag, her arrows, and even her father’s blade in her boot. It was like the demon wanted her to feel as vulnerable as could be, to watch helplessly while he plotted in her own body.

Still, she shook the door of her crate, the metal hitting loudly, echoing, muting her scream as she demanded to be set free. Kagome refused to be a prisoner in her own mind, her own vessel. If he thought she was annoying now, she was going to create as much noise as she possibly could to give this guy a pounding migraine. Hopefully it would throw him off or distract him, though he seemed well versed in tuning things out. It was the best option she had until something better came along, and it was more important that she didn’t sit back and take it.

“Naraku’s not going to be too happy to learn she’s still alive.” Hakudoshi mentioned. “Though, given there was no validation of her death, he was fifty-fifty on the possibility, so maybe he’ll just do his notorious grunt before giving us our next orders to kill her. Which brings me to my next course of action. See, I honestly didn’t expect all of you guys to show up, no less the conjurer. I was trying to draw in Sesshomaru. I’ve been bored and felt like taunting him a bit, and since Naraku asked us to dispose of him, I figured I’d have some fun beforehand. Goshinki went one way, I went the other, and I was really hoping Sesshomaru would follow in my direction, but my dumbass of a brother broke his muzzle and found some villagers to eat, which stole Sesshomaru’s attention from right under me. Anyway, in you guys walk, and the moment I saw the conjurer, I couldn’t resist. Now, I’m toying with the idea of taking her back to Naraku. It’d save us both an enormous amount of time -“

“No.” Inuyasha rumbled.

“-and he can choose whether to keep control over her and use her to gain the power he’s always wanted, or kill her on the spot and remove any inconsequential threat she thought she ever was.”

“Like hell!” He barked.

“Right, right. Of course, you object. That’s to be expected, but it brings us around full circle. Obviously, you all were going to die the moment you set foot in this cave. No matter what, Sesshomaru and the wolf were going to be goners today, and Koga made our jobs a hell of a lot easier by bringing Inuyasha along. The rest of you are just bonuses, I guess. The thing about me is, I’m not really the, um, remorseful type.” Kagome leaned her head to the side, the smallest smile curling her lips. “I like it when people scream. Watching blood seep from wounds excites me more than anything I’ve ever experienced. I couldn’t have imagined a better scenario. Now you all get to die by the hands of someone you care so much for.”

“Kagome.” Sango stepped forward, a valorous pinch to her brow appearing. “Kagome, you have to fight harder. I know you’re in there, I know you can hear me. Kick his ass. Push him out. Push him out.”

Kagome’s eyes were on Sango now, and for a moment, her expression had completely fallen. Her lips were straight, brow was uncreased, and her entire body had stilled. Then, she dropped her gaze, a shudder running over her, and a pout formed so fully that her chin quivered.

“S-Sango?” Kagome trembled.

“Kagome!” Her friend called urgently. “We’re all right here! We know you can do it!”

“It’s so cold.”

“Keep fighting! Keep -“ A flash of heat ran through Sango’s veins when she stopped, realizing Kagome’s frown had crumbled and it seemed like she was pinching back her laughter. Gradually, her stomach shook with amusement and a snort came through her nose, giving in to the one-sided humor of the situation as she laughed.

“Man, you should have seen your face!” Hakudoshi gloated. “How could you fall for that so easily!? You’re clearly not the brains of the group!”

“You’re despicable.” She said through clenched teeth.

“Thank you.” He replied with a grin.

“You guys need to go.” Inuyasha spoke lowly. “Find Hakudoshi. Kill him.”

“What’s that you’re saying over there?” Kagome rose her eyebrows in question, her head inching to the side curiously. “Trying the whole divide and conquer thing?”

“Go.”

“Inuyasha…” Miroku started, appearing more tense than he had before.

Was he expected to just run off and leave her behind? Sure, Inuyasha was strong and he and Kagome clearly cared about each other, but this was his family. This was his cousin, his little sister, being manipulated right now, and he was being told to leave her to someone else to take care of? That wasn’t going to sit right with him. It was logical that Inuyasha would be better at tending to this situation given he was stronger and faster, but Miroku was struggling with the aspect of leaving her at all.

Hakudoshi took the moment to shrug everything off of Kagome’s back, heedlessly dropping her bag to the floor before returning her quiver full of arrows where they belonged.

“Ah, that’s better.” She spoke, wiggling her shoulders freely before pulling an arrow free. “Miroku, tell me she won’t do it again.”

“You need to go.” Inuyasha insisted, giving the guy beside him a pressing look. “Get out of here.”

“I can’t leave her.”

Hakudoshi lined up the nock of her arrow with the string of her bow, utilizing Kagome’s skills by simply reaching into her brain. It didn’t matter if he had never shot before. Kagome knew how, and it was her being he inhabited. Anything she knew how to do, he was able to do as well. Pulling the string back, he leveled his aim, lining the arrowhead up in Miroku’s direction.

“Awe, let him stay, Inuyasha.”

“Look, I can’t protect you and her at the same time. It’s better if you go and find him. You need to save her.”

“Inuyasha’s right, dude.” Koga concurred. “We’ll only be in the way, and for what?”

“To help!” Miroku strongly stated.

“Where’s that arrow aimed, Miroku? You think you’re helping right now?”

“They’re right.” Sango said, backing up. “Inuyasha can handle this. We’ll be of more help if we find that bastard.”

“But-“

“I can sense your anxiety.” Hakudoshi grinned, teasing them all, adding to the tension on their shoulders. “You really think it’s gonna be that easy to find me? Do you think my body is somewhere in this cave, sitting helplessly alone? Don’t take me for a fool. Of all of Naraku’s creations, I am the genius. I am the more cunning. I am the imperceptibly strong one. You think Naraku made me a child for nothing? No. It was to deceive everyone. It was to strike more fear. You may only see your precious Kagome right now, but believe you me, you’ll be an idiot to think finding and killing me will be as easy as running off to save the day.”

“Oh, shut up!” Inuyasha commanded angrily. “The only thing you’re good at is fucking with people’s heads. You want to make us think it’s going to be difficult so we second guess or stall. Well, it doesn’t fucking matter. Either way, you’ve fucked with the wrong person.”

“Oh no, I’m shaking in my boots. Whatever shall I do?” She giggled. “I’m not just good at messing with your head, Inuyasha. Want to watch me drag you all down one-by-one? She’s yelling right now. Kagome’s trying so hard to break free, and she’s frustrated that she’s gotten nowhere. She’s beginning to lose hope. She’s really reliant on her weapons, isn’t she? Without them, she’s powerless, and boy is that catching up to her right now. ‘Inuyasha! Inuyasha, please!’” Hakudoshi called out in the exact scream Kagome was internally fighting with.

The hanyou flinched painfully, his jaw tensing, and a trembling breath left his nose. Every muscle in his body went unbelievably taut for a moment, horrified by how scared she was. He’d had to fight his instincts to protect her, because he couldn’t. He couldn’t do a damn thing for her right now except face her as she currently was.

“Miroku, she just wants to make you proud. Awe, you two have such a sweet bond, don’t you?” Hakudoshi said, violating Kagome’s mind as he discovered her thoughts, her emotions, laying them out on the table for everyone. No longer did she wear a smile. In fact, she seemed nothing short of serious now. As if hurting people was a business matter. “Grew up together, got into trouble together, lost your fathers together. The look on your face when you watched your one remaining parent die has stuck in her head for even this long. Wow, it’s so vivid, too.”

“Stop it.” Miroku muttered.

“You only held it for a moment before you realized she was looking. Then, you wiped it off and never showed it again, and she didn’t know why. But, it’s stuck with her ever since. Oh god, and your fathers went down in flames, didn’t they? Fire and bloodshed, demons everywhere, they were doomed from the start. You were trying to stop the bleeding even after your father shut his eyes. She saw you put on that brave face when it made the least amount of sense, and since then, she’s felt like she needs to put one on with you too in order to be taken seriously.”

“That’s not true.”

“Isn’t it?”

“I know her better than anyone does. She knows perfectly well that I respect her and take her seriously whether she’s got a brave face on or not.”

“Knowing her better is irrelevant, Miroku. I’m in her head. I can see everything. You want me to scream again so that you’ll believe me, or what?”

“No!” He quickly sputtered, terrified to hear her desperation again. “No.”

Hakudoshi blinked, lowering the bow and arrow Kagome held. Her plush lips were relaxed together, and her gaze lowered just for a second before he looked back to her cousin.

“Her heart’s pounding right now. She’s scared. She really doesn’t like that you’re the one I’m threatening.” He cocked a brow in speculation, and as he continued speaking, it was more to converse inward than anything. “Would you rather Inuyasha? No? Sango? No, again? Koga?” He sighed in irritation, re-stringing the arrow. “Then, silence.”

“Go.” Inuyasha urged, feeling the gravity of the situation upsurge dauntingly. “You guys need to go.”

“What are you gonna do?” Miroku inquired when Koga grabbed his shoulder and began pulling him back to continue through the tunnels.

“Whatever the fuck I can.”

“No! I’m staying with you!”

“Oh, please do.” Kagome’s voice sinisterly brushed their ears while she once more aimed.

“Miroku, I know you don’t trust me yet, but right now, you’re going to have to!” He barked, shoving Miroku away. “What the fuck are you so worried about!? If anyone’s in fucking danger here, it’s me! So, if I have to tell you to get out of my way one more fucking time, I’m gonna kick your ass!”

“Let’s go, Miroku!” Sango dropped Kirara to transform, reaching for her boyfriend’s arm to pull back.

Kagome inched her arrow back further, pinching an eye shut for better aim.

“We’ve got this, Inuyasha.” Koga promised.

Inuyasha had turned away to regard them for a split second, grateful that Miroku had finally given up his obstinance, when he felt the incoming threat. Thinking as quickly as he could, he pulled Tessaiga, the sword transforming as each inch was freed from its sheath, jutting it out to successfully block the shot that was too close to hitting Miroku in the back.

In his peripherals, he’d caught Kagome waver. Her head had notched to the side and her hands twitched. Her face had twisted almost painfully, but before long, her deadly stare was back. As if it had never left.

“Oh, you’re fast!” Hakudoshi grinned.

Tessaiga transformed when defending against her arrow. It had been calling for his attention on his hip. No. He was almost scared to see if his hunch was true, but he had to. Turning back forward, Inuyasha squared, holding Tessaiga in the direction Kagome stood and watching as it stayed transformed, swirling with energy that should have died off. As if betrayed, he nearly dropped his sword to the ground. It was detestable, compromised, ruined, wrong. Tessaiga didn’t work against Kagome. It wasn’t supposed to. He’d figured out a while ago that it was meant to aid her. It was meant to protect her. Fate was a funny thing, and it managed to tell him he was born to be by her side, not opposing her.

“Inuyasha.” Miroku whispered apprehensively.

The hanyou slid his sword back into its sheath, and then removed the sheath entirely from his belt, tossing it to the side. “Go. I promise, I won’t hurt her.”

Finally, he heard them run off, the sound of their feet fading down a corridor as they rushed to find Hakudoshi. There was a chance. Before, her fidgeting, that was Kagome trying to regain control. It had to be. Hakudoshi had almost struck her cousin, of course she was going to object powerfully. Inuyasha could reach her, he was confident of which. It was going to be tricky, but it was possible. She was conscious in there.

“So, it’s lover versus lover, is it?”

“Kagome.“

“You realize you’re part demon, right?”

“Baby, I know you’re giving it your all right now, but you’ve gotta put in a little more effort.”

“All I have to do is flip that switch in her brain to use her conjurer abilities.”

“Push him out, kid.”

“It won’t even take a lot. You’re only half demon, so with the power coming from her, I’d say ten percent would be enough to do you in. Twelve percent to be safe. Six percent if I want you to suffer.”

“Come on, kid. Fight.” Inuyasha pushed.

“Oh, give it a rest.” The grumble in her voice was deep, another octave she rarely used. “All you’re doing is agitating her; you’re not helping her any. What is this? You think some motivational speech is all you’re gonna need to save her life? Or, is it your own life that you’re more worried about?”

Inuyasha could barely fight his glower. It felt off giving it to Kagome, but it wasn’t Kagome it was intended for. It was Naraku’s minion. Hakudoshi was lucky it wasn’t he going after him, because Inuyasha would make his death agonizing. As if he didn’t already hate Kagome being touched as it was, she was now being held captive from the inside. He wanted Hakudoshi to beg for forgiveness before he ended his meager existence.

At the exact same time that Koga had sensed something was off, Kirara gave a low growl of warning, reinforcing the wolf demon’s decision to stop immediately. The further they’d gone down the corridors, the darker it had become, and the drip of water echoed loudly in a cavern up ahead. Quickly assessing it, Koga could tell there were no living beings anywhere near, but that somewhere in the cave was another dangerous demon. It was either Hakudoshi’s body or the fucker wasn’t lying earlier.

“There may actually be someone else here. With him.” Koga mentioned to the others.

“Are we near them?” Sango asked.

“No. I can’t tell where they are, but the further we get from Kagome and Inuyasha, the more clear their energy is becoming.”

All he smelled was Naraku, though. Which meant, no matter what, they were going up against an underling. Considering he was traveling with two humans, Koga almost wished they were facing an off-brand demon. These were like mini bosses before the big boss, and Koga just wasn’t sure how skilled these humans were with the weapons belted to their sides. Would they pull through and be actual assets to him, or was he about to have to keep their lives in tact while facing a direct descendant of Naraku, himself?

“Stay close. Follow orders. You go against anything I say, I’m knocking you out myself so I don’t have to deal with saving your sorry asses. Got it?”

“Who died and made you king?” Miroku grimaced.

“The previous leader of my clan.” Koga snorted.

Miroku and Sango exchanged a bemused look before shifting back to Koga.

“I’m the leader of the wolf demon pack. That may mean nothing to you, but let it mean something here. I know how to look out for people, I know how to make quick decisions in the heat of battle, and I know how to make the best calls. We’re all fighting for the same thing, right? So keep up and don’t hold me back.”

“How about, you don’t hold us back.” Sango countered, slanting her eyes brazenly. “There. You wanted a challenge, right? You wanted to make sure we weren’t submissive and weak? Well, go ahead. Lead the way, King Wolf Demon. We’ve got your back.”

“How far ahead do you think they are?” Miroku inquired, gazing into the dark shadows in front of him.

“Not sure.” Koga replied, impressed by the boldness of the woman. She was gutsy, he could grasp that much. “It helps that Hakudoshi’s presence isn’t hanging over us anymore. Now that it’s centered, whomever’s with him is standing out.”

“You can’t follow their scent?”

“I only smell Naraku, but it’s all over the place. It’s like they’ve touched every fucking wall in this maze to throw us off.”

“They probably have.” Sango agreed. “It would be a good reason to back up Hakudoshi’s arrogance regarding our difficulty finding him.”

“So, we go forward, right?” Miroku asked.

“Only way to figure out where the scent gets stronger. Be on your guard.”

Kagome was protesting as hard as she could, wrestling, yelling, trying to break the lock on her cage. Hakudoshi was reaching back to equip another arrow, and he was moving agonizingly slowly. His way of taunting both she and Inuyasha with the threat.

“Stop it!” She demanded. “I won’t let you hurt him!”

But, she went ignored. Time and time again, she went ignored. What did she have to do? What had she done earlier to make Hakudoshi’s control falter when he’d shot at Miroku? She was frantic and scared, and she was resisting. She was resisting, and that resistance was like the spark of a flame in the kindling. While she pulled back, there was a thump in her core that pushed forward, but what was it? How did she fan the spark to grow into flames? How did she do it again?

“What would you do if I spoke to you entirely like I was Kagome from this point forward?” Hakudoshi asked, aiming an arrow at Inuyasha.

The hanyou didn’t answer. The bastard would have him dead in a second if he didn’t think up a plan, and he needed to be quick. He’d need to dodge and then he’d need to disarm him. That was the best course of action. Pinning her down would be second. He had to believe that the rest of the group would pull through, would kill the brat and free Kagome. Until then, he was going to have to do everything he could to survive, which may very well be as difficult as facing Kagome in the flesh. He knew what she could do, and this child was inside of her putting her skills to the test. Against him. If he really could utilize her conjurer powers, Inuyasha would have to be incredibly careful. It was ironic to think about, a demon using conjurer powers, but wasn’t something he was willing to underestimate. Technically, he was just possessing her, not completely encapsulating her body as it was easy to assume. Which meant, Hakudoshi probably wasn’t all talk.

“Her mannerisms are right here.” He pointed to her head, nearly nicking her flesh with the arrowhead. “Oh, whoops.” He flinched too casually, cringing at his mistake.

Inuyasha had had to tense rigidly to avoid reacting. He couldn’t feed into Hakudoshi’s bullshit. It would egg him on. It could potentially cause him to actually hurt Kagome, and Inuyasha refused to allow that.

“So, anyway, what’s your plan? You really gonna fight Kagome? Or are you gonna take every hit she throws at you?” When Inuyasha neglected to answer, she shrugged her brows. “Silent treatment, huh? I bet you wouldn’t ignore your girlfriend.”

Her expression softened, brown eyes shimmering as they always had as a very soft curve appeared on her lips. When she spoke then, it was in her natural tone, and it struck Inuyasha directly in the heart. “I understand if you can’t fight me. This is scaring me, too. But, can you do me a favor?”

It took everything in him not to respond, but he’d failed to keep all of his reflexes at bay. His amber eyes flickered away and his frown deepened momentarily before he forced himself to look back at her. Whatever existed of Kagome’s smile had shifted as she now worried her bottom lip between her teeth, and her gaze had fallen to the rocky floor beneath their boots.

“Inuyasha, I really don’t want to hurt you.” She tremblingly admitted. “Kill me before I do. I can’t stop him. I’m trying so hard, but I can’t stop him. So, you have to stop me.”

“No!” He growled. “Stop it! Hakudoshi, stop it!”

“Baby, please.”

His stomach clenched painfully.

“Why can’t I break free? What do I do?”

“God fucking dammit, stop it!” Inuyasha slammed the heels of his palms into his temples.

Kagome began to walk closer, and the hanyou had to remind himself to take a step back. The aura coming off of her, the threat, it wasn’t hers and it was to be heeded. This wasn’t his girl he was up against; he couldn’t be fooled so easily. But, each step away from her was physically painful. He was supposed to be protecting her, but he was refusing her quivering form.

“Why won’t you let me near?”

“Knock it off already!”

“You have to promise me that you wont let me hurt you.” She whispered.

“Hakudoshi!” He back stepped again.

With a small groan, the demon relented. “Fine. This will be more fun, anyway.” He said, making Kagome grin as she lunged to attack Inuyasha.

Swiftly, he grabbed her wrists to protect himself, flinching back when she’d almost cut his face with the arrow. Getting her to drop the bow was easy, but her grip on the sharper object was white-knuckled and fierce. Already, he knew his hold on her was too strong, but he couldn’t let go just yet. He could feel the danger levels spiking, which made him believe Hakudoshi was legitimately using her conjurer powers. If he didn’t make her drop it soon, if Hakudoshi cut him, he could be severely hurt, and then what? Lose Kagome? Allow his death to sit on her shoulders? Neither were going to happen.

“Kid, keep fighting for me, okay?” He said directly to Kagome, thrusting her back against the cavern wall to smack her hand against the uneven rock. Finally, her grasp relented and the arrow slipped from her fingers.

“Remember when Naraku was holding me over the cliff?” Hakudoshi continued his charade, speaking as if he were Kagome again. “Just before I was thrown over, I wanted to tell you that I loved you. I didn’t want to die without you knowing.”

“Stop it!”

“And, I know you know now, but I feel like I should remind you.”

No, no, no. He couldn’t hear that. Hakudoshi or not, he didn’t want that tainted in this moment. They said those words so rarely, spoke their feelings through actions and other versions of affectionate discourse, but whenever that phrase did come out, he didn’t want it to throw him right back into this incident. He wouldn’t have it taken away from them. He was frenetic to shut Hakudoshi up.

He’d acted without thinking. It was a natural impulse, and before Inuyasha knew it, his knee was being thrusted up into Kagome’s diaphragm. She doubled over with a violent cough, her breath coming raggedly, unevenly, struggling at first until Hakudoshi started laughing with saliva dribbling over her lower lip.

Inuyasha had backed away in unrestrained regret, holding his hands out at his sides as if they’d abused their privileges. How could he? He’d hurt her.

“Holy crap, dude.” Hakudoshi guffawed, and Kagome’s voice both caressed and defiled his ears. He wished the possession changed her tone to the child’s. It was painful to hear her be talked through, no matter how out of character it’d been or not. “You really kneed her. That wasn’t even a warning tap either, that was a full on hit!”

“Fuck, baby! Fuck! I’m so sorry!”

“What kind of abusive boyfriend are you?” He asked, standing straight.

“Oh, fuck off!” Inuyasha ground out, setting his jaw irately. “You can’t get under my skin with that shit.”

“Maybe you’re right.” Hakudoshi bobbed her head. “Only, ‘I love you’ will do the trick.” She grinned tauntingly, picking up her foot to pull out the knife in her boot.

Kagome slowed down a moment. Too long, she’d been fighting the restraints of her bars and it was getting her no results. She needed to take a minute to analyze the situation, no matter how difficult it was to do right now. It was easier to let her nerves get the better of her, to keep fighting and struggling, but it was fruitless and Inuyasha needed her to come back to him.

She looked closer at the lock keeping her closed inside the cage. So many times, she’d kicked it with everything she had, applied her entire bodyweight into it, and the only thing she’d achieved in doing so was creating loud clanks to echo in the darkness she currently resided in. The lock didn’t look to have received any damage whatsoever. That was impossible. It should have at least sported a dent, or a nick. Something. This was getting her nowhere. Why?

Because, she wasn’t shut in by a key. Of course. She was confined by demonic energy. She’d been so heavily consumed by Hakudoshi’s that she hadn’t even been able to feel the power engulfing the thick, black padlock. That being said, she still wasn’t sure how the hell she was going to get out of there. Yet again, she was held back by her inability to transmit spiritual power into her hands.

That wasn’t going to work for her right now. Kagome had no other options. She couldn’t wait for an alternative to appear, because nothing ever would. She was going to bust out one way or the other, and this was how. Hakudoshi had no right to threaten Inuyasha with the power that was hers. It was hers. And, she was going to use it exactly as she willed.

Koga’s heart was beating hard, his lungs were pounding. It felt like they’d been traveling through the cave for way too long and only ended up turned around, but before he’d even sensed it, Kirara caught onto something to their right. She led the way, her hackles raising, her growl growing more violent when they finally found the right path. Koga felt it, too. Up ahead was a threat waiting for them. Literally waiting.

“For a while there, I honestly thought you’d never find us.” A woman spoke, her arms crossed over her center. “The child’s been out for half an hour now? Forty-five minutes? Were you guys walking or something?”

For a quick moment, Koga took in the sight before them. They were in another opening, one just a smidge more narrow than the other they’d left Inuyasha and Kagome in. Water had leaked in through the cave ceiling, coating the ground in puddles all around, the drip loud to his ears. The woman in front of them, she was tall. More interesting, she looked to be about as done with anyone’s shit before anything had even happened. It was like the expression of annoyance was forever etched into her skin, her eyes naturally slanted in that manner. Her hair was brown, medium-length, worn half up in a twisted bun that a white feather decoratively stuck out of. Red painted her lips, nearly matching her bold irises, and along her body, she wore a plain, black dress that dipped down low in the center of her chest.

On the floor at her side, a young child slumped in his seat. His hair was white, long, untamed. He was unconscious and still he managed to give Koga the creeps. Nothing more needed to be studied about him. That was Hakudoshi.

“Kagura?” He asked, just to be sure.

“Don’t try to be my friend just because you know Sesshomaru.” She shook her head, rolling her eyes. “I’m still under orders to kill you and protect this freak.”

“Because of Rin?”

“Because of Naraku.”

“Because he has Rin?”

She sighed out heatedly, shaking her head in irritation again. “You clearly already know the answer to that, so why are you asking?”

“Don’t you think it’d be easier to save her if we knew where Naraku was?” Koga tried, carefully stepping forward with a subtle hand gesture for Sango and Miroku to hang back. “Give me something that I can pass on to Sesshomaru. Better yet, come with us. We -“

“Stop.” She ordered abruptly, and it was said in a tone that brought Koga to listen. Very slowly, very steadily, she shifted her head from left to right, her scarlet eyes never parting from his azure. It was her way of conveying something she couldn’t say out loud, but whether he understood was up to him. Hakudoshi wasn’t completely unconscious; he could still hear everything. The last thing she wanted was him bringing anything back to Naraku, and that fucking rat would. “Back up.”

“I don’t want to fight you.” Koga admitted, following her gaze as she glanced over to the child’s limp form, then back up. What was she telling him?

“Then, this’ll be easy.” She said. This guy had to be as daft as they came. There was only one way to make this painfully obvious, so careful of the ruffle of her clothing, she grabbed her ear and once more looked at Hakudoshi. That seemed to do the trick. Koga stiffened slightly, nodding in comprehension.

“Kagura, what am I supposed to tell Sesshomaru?”

“Nothing.” She frowned. “You aren’t leaving here today. So, I suggest you fight, or you’ll die in shame.”

As Hakudoshi lunged at Inuyasha, Inuyasha had to be quick to grab Kagome’s wrist again. He couldn’t afford to be conscientious or apologetic right now. He had to disarm her and pin her down. Swiftly, he stepped a leg behind her ankle, shoving her back to throw off her balance, and dropped down to the floor with her. He tried smashing her hand against the ground to make her fingers release their grip on the blade, but they actively refused. She held onto the knife for dear life, and Inuyasha had to shove the worry that his clutch was bruising her to the back of his mind.

“The first time we made love -“

“No! Shut up!” Inuyasha demanded, silencing her sweet voice. “Get out of her head!”

“Make me.” She rumbled seductively, the switch in her timbre nearly giving him whiplash. “Of course, that brings us to the third time we made love.”

“Fuck you.” He growled, pinning her still as she tried to buck him off. “Those are intimate moments between she and I.”

“Not anymore.”

Inuyasha thrusted her hand along the ground again, fighting against her incessant battle to stab him, but still she clung to the dagger with a grasp that would not yield. He was just going to have to pry it away from her, then.

It was difficult, but his main focus had to be her dominant arm. He couldn’t let go of it whatsoever, so he had to figure out a way to use his hand that restrained her left. Dragging it down, despite her opposing struggle, Inuyasha managed to capture it beneath his knee, freeing his own hand to force her fingers to release the knife. She’d given a jolt and the sharp blade clipped his palm, making the hanyou hasty to retract back.

“Man, I really messed that up, didn’t I?” Kagome giggled. “I’ll admit, it’s hard to multitask. This lady’s got it down to an art.”

There was no conjurer power that backed up her attack, and Inuyasha got fucking lucky. His hand was seeping blood now, but he didn’t have time to even think about it. It was actually working in his favor. The more blood that got on her hand from his prying, the more slippery her grip became. Finally, Inuyasha stole the dagger away, dropping it to the side of his leg as he quickly rolled her over to her stomach.

God, he’d forgotten how fast she could be. Immediately, Kagome was pushing up against him, and he’d barely been able to really define his dominance. He had to apply his knee to her back to shove her back down while he expeditiously scooped the arrows from her quiver and threw them out of reach.

“You fucking jackass!” Hakudoshi protested on a wheezy breath.

Inuyasha removed his knee, realizing his bodyweight was hindering her breathing, and everything else was by pure instinct. He’d jerked one hand behind her back, hiking it up so she had limited use of her shoulder, and took a solid grip in her hair. Maybe he’d gotten too lost in the moment, too aggressive. He could feel how forcefully he was pinning her down, feel her cheek scrape against the rock, but it wasn’t until she cried out that he slackened.

“Ow. Inuyasha, you’re hurting me.” Kagome moaned.

“Shit!” It was reflex, his reaction to let her go. But, he shouldn’t have been so precipitous. He hadn’t realized her free hand had reached for the blade he’d thoughtlessly dropped so close. Kagome rolled over nimbly, and Inuyasha hardly had time to react. She swung the dagger at him, and he was incredibly fucking grateful it was in her non-dominant hand, because it was held at an angle that gave him the advantage to jump away without harm in the nick of time.

“Wow, you really are weak for her.” Hakudoshi commented, rising to Kagome’s knees. “If you don’t wisen up, those emotions will be the very thing that kill you.”

“Shut the fuck up.” Inuyasha responded, wiping the blood from his hand on his pant leg, a vain effort as he felt more warm liquid cover over the burning wound. He had to ignore the angry spot on her cheek he’d caused, one that went right over the small scrape she’d received the day before, making it larger, darker.

“You know, maybe I’m going about this all wrong. Maybe I’m attacking the wrong person.” Kagome smiled mischievously.

Immediately, Inuyasha knew where Hakudoshi’s thought process was headed and he stiffened.

Steadily, Kagome lowered the knife to her thigh, scratching the blade against the texture of her pants. “What if I -“

He’d moved promptly, he had no choice. He went to pin her down again, to steal the dagger from her grasp once more. He was going to throw it so far away that it’d be lost in the shadows and worthless to find in the depths of a struggle. But, Hakudoshi got the better of him that time. Inuyasha hadn’t established proper form, and Kagome bucked her hips upward, tumbling his balance and rolling him over.

Good fucking god, she was strong. He was hanyou, he had formidable strength, and yes, the fear of hurting her was drastically holding him back from doing anything too impetuous, but he was now in a pressing conflict. The knife was inches from his throat, and she was pushing all of her weight down into him. Inuyasha was lucky he was quick enough to stop it in time from stabbing him through, and now he was fighting to keep her lifted so she didn’t succeed.

“Kagome, baby!” He called warily. “I could really use your help right about now!”

“Kagome says to suck a dick.” Hakudoshi grinned.

“Kagome!” His options were limited. Rolling her off of him was a feeble choice if she still had the fucking knife, though it gave him an opportunity to pick himself up and create space. There was the potential that she’d be faster in that sort of predicament, and that obviously needed to be taken into consideration. He desperately needed to disarm her and he needed to act quickly, because she was bouncing her weight down on the dagger now in an attempt to wear out his muscles.

His best option was to take her by surprise. He needed a split second, that was all. He had no choice, and he would make up for it in whatever way that he could later. For now, Inuyasha fixed his grip on her hands holding the knife with one palm, trusting the strength in his arm, and with the one he now freed, he slapped Kagome in the face with what was absolutely too much vigor. But, it worked. Hakudoshi was discombobulated for an extremely brief moment, a gasp leaving her lips, eyes wide from the jolt of it, and Inuyasha utilized the time to push Kagome back and rip the knife from her fucking hands, throwing it in a direction unknown even to him.

Hakudoshi began thrashing against Inuyasha. He hit him back, he scratched, he laughed wickedly, and it was difficult for the hanyou to take hold of Kagome’s wrists again with how wild Hakudoshi made her flail. Inuyasha was trying. He was sorely trying to get her under control, only really failing to block one good hit from her, and when he’d thought he had a forearm in his grasp, Kagome sprung off of him, ripping herself free to run toward something.

He rolled himself over and pushed himself up, his body going insurmountably tense in response to what he was facing that his gasp was silent and nothing more than a hitch in his chest. Hakudoshi had snagged an arrow and her bow, and was inching it up to aim at him. Kagome’s smile was one of victory, her bottom lip stained with blood he’d caused her to bleed.

She was furious. She was screaming. She was desperate and frantic. This was her body, and Kagome had no control over it. This was her mind, and it wasn’t listening to a thing she was saying. What caused her stomach to ache painfully was that she could feel Hakudoshi pulling her spiritual power, rounding it up, saturating an arrow as he aimed it at Inuyasha. Hakudoshi had the upper hand, she could practically see it, and her panic was beginning to overwhelm every inch of her.

“Inuyasha, run!” Kagome cried, but unsurprisingly, she went unheard. Until Hakudoshi had the audacity to tease by repeating it. His tone held no inflection. It was said casually, carelessly.

“Inuyasha, run.”

“Please! Run!”

“Please. Run.”

“No.” He replied gruffly, and Kagome froze, realizing he was replying to her. “I won’t leave without you.”

Hakudoshi inched her arrow back to create a tauter string, and she could feel that he was about to release it. No. No!

Feeling helpless, Kagome shook the bars of her cage again, frenzied enough to try anything to save him. She was hot all over, her heart was pounding erratically, her mind was racing a mile a minute.

“Stop!” She screamed. “Stop it!”

This wasn’t supposed to be happening. This was her body, dammit. This was her mind, this was her heart, this was her ability. Why wouldn’t her powers work for her? Why would they never work this way? She’d been trying to burst the lock, and nothing. Failure was not an option right now, she needed to recondition her strength.

Protect yourself for me, my little bird. Keep it in its cage.

Her father. His words. It rang so relevant right now that it hurt. She was nothing but a little bird trapped in a cage, but it was the most unsafe she’d ever felt. Her papa thought it’d be her salvation, to hide away, but this was irony at its worst. The fact of the matter was, her powers weren’t what put her in danger. It was the people around her. The people against her. Locking her gifts up to defend herself had been the counterintuitive option all along.

“They’re mine, Hakudoshi! Stop!” He was about to shoot and Kagome was terrified, shouting so loud that her voice broke. “They’re my powers! You can’t use them!” She rattled her cage defiantly, feeling a pull in her abdomen that helped her push against her restraints. “They’re mine! Not Midoriko’s, not Kikyo’s, not yours, they’re mine!” Hakudoshi released his shot. “Get out!”

Inuyasha grunted, the sharp strike of her arrowhead piercing the right side of his chest, causing him to stumble backwards a few feet until he hit the wall. There was nothing in her arrow. He was dealt nothing more than a painful blow through his flesh. Still, he found himself holding his breath anxiously. Her powers would have taken effect by now, right? The tail of the weapon stuck out in front of him, and he watched it to see if it would disintegrate. When nothing happened for thirty seconds, Inuyasha nearly slumped in relief.

There it was, she could feel it. Hakudoshi’s hold on her was destabilizing. Warmth radiated from her being, and Kagome urged it to grow. He was trying to reattain his control, like hands slipping over an oil-slicked rope, but she couldn’t allow that. The fire charred the kindling in her core and raged violently within her. It hurt, but she didn’t care. She let it expand through her veins, through her flesh, through her fingertips.

“Get out!” She repeated vehemently, doubling over as she vividly visualized the demon expelling from her soul. “GET OUT OF ME!”

Inuyasha watched Kagome’s frame fold, falling to her hands and knees as unrestrained grunts and groans left her mouth. Her fingers raked against the rock beneath her, and letting go of a cry, she stumbled down to her forearms with a wild tremor that racked her entire body.

“Kid?” He spoke through heavy breaths from his lungs.

“Get -“ She was fighting. She was pushing so hard, and he felt a manic energy soaring from her that greatly intimidated him. Kagome was giving more than what she had to free herself that her voice came out low and throaty, like she was forcing her words out while her body was battling intensely that it was nearly impossible to use her vocal cords. “Get out!”

It was her. Inuyasha’s stomach twisted achingly, desperately needing to support her, to be next to her. “Kagome!”

He ripped the arrow from his chest, clenching his throat to swallow the pained moan. It was unimportant in retrospect. Fuck his discomfort, he had more critical things to worry about right now. Inuyasha pushed himself from the cavern wall, sprinting over to Kagome’s crumpled body and skidding to his knees.

“Don’t touch me!” She screamed at him, and the hanyou went rigid. His hands hovered just inches above her back, twitching as he struggled with himself to listen to her.

“Kagome, it’s me!”

“It’ll hurt you! My power! It’ll - It’ll hurt you!” She claimed through choked exhales.

It was emanating from her. That’s what he was feeling. He may not be able to see it, but she was shrouded in her conjurer strength, seemingly able to do what she’d never been able to before as she fought back against Hakudoshi.

“He won’t -“ Kagome released a wrenching sob, trying to pick herself up to her hands but collapsing back down. “He won’t let me go. He’s still here.”

“Keep going, baby!” Inuyasha encouraged, dropping his palms to the earth while staying as close as allowed. “Fight him! You can do this!”

“Get out!”

“You can do this!”

Kagome whimpered through the engulfing and searing heat of the flames, taking as deep a breath as she could muster in an effort to fan the fire and keep it growing. Blinking open her eyes, she could see how vibrant the lavender of her power was, appearing like a legitimate blaze from her skin. At this point, Hakudoshi’s presence was barely lingering. She needed to be diligent to make sure there wasn’t an ounce of him left in her soul. If she wasn’t thorough in getting all of him out, he could potentially seep back in to take rein of her again.

Never. She wouldn’t allow it. She was going to make him regret ever taking her hostage, she was going to make him regret ever using her against her people.

“Let me go!” She demanded, slamming her fist against the ground.

“Good, Kagome! Fight him! You’ve got this!” Inuyasha shouted.

He was in her heart. He was clinging to the small fleck of darkness that’d been created from the times she’d endured, his grimy hands slipping but catching, slipping and catching again. Kagome tensed her breath then, concentrating her strength there as it torched and incinerated whatever presence he left within her. It was overkill, but it was necessary. She felt like she’d inhaled smoke, coughing and sputtering when she finally breathed again, but that was it. She was freed.

Hakudoshi was gone.

Inuyasha felt her powers calm, but didn’t reach for her just yet. Gradually, the stiffness in her muscles noticeably decreased. Kagome was gasping in air, her back excessively rising and falling with how her lungs pumped, but progressively, her body was relaxing.

“Kagome?” He whispered.

She couldn’t help the chuckle of relief that left her mouth, or the way her arms refused to work with her, failing to even try and pick herself up. Her head went from the balance on her forearm to the hard surface of the ground as her rear sank back to rest against her legs. It didn’t matter that her head scraped along, nothing mattered in that moment. She was too fatigued to care, or feel pain, or worry about anything more.

Extremely sluggishly, Kagome reached out with one hand, blindly feeling around for Inuyasha. He was still there, she could sense him, but words weren’t coming to her right now. All she wanted was his touch. She wanted to feel his warmth, his callouses. With her opposite hand, the side she’d yet to try, the side she’d assumed he had to be closer to, Kagome turned it over, sliding it out in the hopes that he would know what she wanted.

Inuyasha swallowed thickly, hoping he was reading her right. She was searching for him, wasn’t she? With her hand opened for him, he slid his fingers within, feeling the sweat that coated it and sighing out so deeply the moment her fingers curled to hold him there.

“Is it you?” He asked, unable to control himself any longer as he scooted closer. “Are you back?”

Kagome hummed, nodding lazily.

Inuyasha made haste to pick her up. He released her hand, grabbing around her shoulders to pull her to a sit so that she wouldn’t have to push with her defeated muscles. Her dark hair was everywhere, but she managed to sweep her arm over to fix the tresses out of her face, a small smile curving her plush and blood-stained lips. But, her eyes. Though lidded, they glimmered with tears and the earthy tones pulled him right back home.

“You did it.” He chuckled proudly, sweeping hair behind her ears as he admired her for all that she deserved. “You did it, baby.”

His fingers trembled as much as she, the ice was finally leaving his bloodstream, and Inuyasha cradled her jaw when Kagome finally got a good grasp on supporting herself. As tears fell to streak her cheeks, he gently swiped his thumbs to clean each one, careful of any sensitive marks that marred her face.

“I’m sorry. Fuck, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

Kagome leaned into his attention, uncaring of how she felt or looked while she couldn’t take her eyes from the wound in his chest. Though his shirt was black, she could still see the blood causing the cloth to stick to his skin, seeping through in a thick coating. Her fingers shakily reached for the injury she’d inflicted, stopped by his quicker hand when he grabbed her wrist and brought her knuckles up to kiss.

“I’m sorry.” She cried.

“Don’t be. You saved my ass, kid.”

“No, I -“

“You didn’t hurt me. I promise. This wasn’t you, baby, remember that.”

Feeling like she needed him or else she’d be unstable and incomplete, Kagome urgently grabbed his shirt and pulled for him, nearly losing her meager balance in the process. Inuyasha wasn’t hesitant in the least to comply. He moved closer at the same time he gathered her forward, hugging her tight while breathing her in.

“Are you okay, kid? You okay?” He rushed to ask, taking her jaw again to tilt her head to the side and analyze the blemishing of her face.

“I’m fine.” She replied.

Inuyasha swiped his thumb over her bottom lip and froze when she winced. Reflexively, Kagome sucked in her lip, finally tasting the copper as her tongue traced over the cut that bled. It must have collided against her teeth when he’d hit her. She could hear everything, she was aware of the general happenings of the fight going on, but given it wasn’t a direct reality for her, it was weird coming back to deal with the repercussions of it.

“Oh, that was a good one.” She commented, and Inuyasha immediately released her, a look of panic striking his expression. He’d almost backed away fearfully before Kagome reached for him, and she steadily pulled his hands back toward her. “No, it’s okay! Inuyasha,” She hovered one of his hands by her cheek before she nuzzled into it. “It’s okay. I promise.”

“I hurt you.” He breathed contritely.

“You didn’t do it on purpose. You were defending yourself. I’d have a problem with you if you hadn’t.” Kagome brought the other back to hold her as he had been.

Inuyasha curled into her, tilting her face again as he softly brushed a kiss to her scraped cheek. The tremble in her fingers was increasing, the shock of the situation really settling in. They rested on his forearms, her hold barely there anymore. She had to be fucking exhausted. It had to be so hard just sitting up right now. Her eyes were sunken and hooded, her smile was present but listless, her skin was pale and clammy, yet she still pushed through it all instead of collapsing and saving affection for later.

With a kiss to her forehead, he decided it was best to gather everything up. The battle wasn’t over. As much as he wanted to get her out of there, he needed to help the others, and Kagome was undoubtedly safer with him at this point.

Making sure she could support herself, he stood to find the knife he’d tossed. Thankfully, her scent was good guidance, and he was able to locate it hidden in the shadows in the distance. He fixed that in his belt before he picked up her arrows, unsurprised when he heard that grumble come from her as her stomach clenched in pain. Inuyasha made his way back calmly, smoothly, setting everything down beside him so that he could pull her hair out of the way. His hand was gentle as it stroked her back, soothing her heaves while she vomited.

“You’re okay.” He kissed her shoulder. “You’re okay, babe. You did such a good job. I’m so proud of you.”

Kagome coughed, a shuddering whimper following her discomfort, but Inuyasha continued to console her the best that he could. This was to be expected. She’d busted her ass saving them both and presented a level of power neither of them had yet to see. He’d take care of her tonight. He’d watch her carefully, he’d tend to everything she needed. Thankfully, Kaede had given them some of her medicine that helped Kagome the first time around, so she’d at least be able to sleep through the evening and fight the fever with a little help.

He helped her crawl away from the mess, whispering that he’d be right back when he walked in the direction of their kicked-aside bag, grabbing Tessaiga not too far off along the way. He pulled out the canteen of water and opened it up, ambling back and handing it over for her to sip on.

“Where is everyone? Can you smell them?” Kagome asked as she handed the bottle back over to him.

“Yeah.” He gave a small nod, replacing the lid before reaching for her arrows to drop back in the quiver over her shoulder. Her bow was within reach, so he stretched from his spot, dragging it their way. “They’re somewhere deep, but I’ll be able to find them.”

“We’ll return for the bag later.” He said, helping her to her knees so she’d be able to rise easier. Turning around, the hanyou readied himself for her to climb on his back, keeping a grasp on her hand to help leverage her up before he scooped up her rear to support her.

Thankfully, he not only had multiple scents to guide his way, but just a mile in, he could catch the sounds of fighting, of yelling. The cat demon’s roar was distinct and echoed, and Inuyasha picked up his pace.

As he got closer, he scouted out a spot to tuck Kagome in. She was already growing feverish; he could feel it through his clothing. Her part was over, she’d done more than enough. Now, he needed to protect her.

“Stay here, okay?” He whispered as she settled into her little nook. Her body was tired, and she leaned against the rocks for support.

“I want to come with you.” She said, but everything else about her communicated otherwise.

“No,” He shook his head, smiling softly while pushing her bangs from her eyes. “We’ve got it from here, kid. I’ll come back for you. I promise.”

Inuyasha leaned forward and brushed a kiss to her forehead, feeling how she subtly relaxed. “Tell me you’ll stay here. Nod.”

Kagome gave a listless nod, her face expressionless as she fully sank back now.

“Good girl.” He cooed. “I’ll be right back.”

It looked like he hadn’t taken the exact turn everyone else had. The tunnel he inhabited inclined and he came out on a ledge overlooking the scene below. There was a wind picking up in the cavern, one that only bewildered Inuyasha for a second before he pieced together who the woman facing off with Koga and Sango was. Kagura could control the wind, keeping their advances at bay while assaulting them with sharp thrusts of rocks shooting mercilessly through the air. Miroku and Kirara faced a child, a malicious grin on the little one’s face as he whipped his white hair over his shoulder.

Hakudoshi.

Taking out his sword, Inuyasha jumped from his ledge, slicing through the current Kagura flared with a wind scar that carved a passage. The moment his feet were on the ground, he raised Tessaiga over his head and slammed it down, watching Miroku get shoved out of the way by the feral cat demon as his attack went straight for the evil child. A barrier protected Hakudoshi, forcing his second wind scar to trail right over him in a circular motion before dying off as it hit the far wall.

“Long time no see, half breed.” The boy sneered.

“Inuyasha!” Miroku called. “Kagome, where -“

“She’s fine. She’s safe.” He quickly replied, amber eyes never parting from the purple ones belonging to the demon child.

“Eh,” Hakudoshi’s top lip curled cynically. “You tend to use those words lightly, don’t you.”

“Fuck you.” Inuyasha spit.

“You did quite the number on her.”

The hanyou nearly dropped his sword in his vehemence, marching forward. He could see the arrogant twitch of Hakudoshi’s mouth, thinking he had the upper hand with his barrier, but with a tightening of Inuyasha’s grip, the fang of his sword grew red and he stabbed it through. The wall around the child disappeared, and it was pleasant to watch his expression dwindle instantly. His small legs hurried to back up as he tried to rebuild another barrier, but Inuyasha went and broke that one two, reaching forward to strike his face.

“Not so tough now, are you?” Inuyasha grabbed the demon by his neck, lifting him up, ignoring the way Hakudoshi clawed at his wrist and hand to be set free.

“Kagome blames you for not saving her when she was thrown from the cliff.” Hakudoshi claimed through his clenched throat, choking but still speaking tauntingly with whatever willpower he had. “She saw you trying to grab your sword, but couldn’t understand why you weren’t able to get it because it was right there. She thinks you should have been stronger. Stronger like Koga. Like your brother.”

“No, she doesn’t.” He evenly refuted.

She’d lied. She’d never intended to stay behind and wait. Kagome just knew it was the only way to keep Inuyasha from worrying. She would be upset with herself if she didn’t do everything she could to help, and there was still some fight left in her.

At first, she’d tried climbing to her feet, but her legs shook and gave out from beneath her. Twice, she’d tried to stand, but it was no use. Not even with the wall as support was she able to walk up the incline. Just trying to pick herself up was exhausting, her stomach wringing painfully, and she’d had to pause to pass some bile. Trembling horribly, Kagome wiped her mouth clean, continuing forward on her hands and knees.

It was a strenuous path uphill, but Kagome pushed herself as hard as she could, swallowing thickly to fight through her body’s resistance. She could hear the action, she could hear Hakudoshi spewing nonsense to try and hurt Inuyasha again, and she could practically feel just how livid Inuyasha was as he faced him. She wanted to see to his end. She didn’t want to risk him getting away. If anyone needed to be disposed of in Naraku’s army, it was him. He was the termite, the demon who destroyed you from the inside out, and he was going to choke on his arrogance today.

“Kagome thinks you could have done more to save your mother.”

“You’ve lost your spark since you can’t speak through her anymore.” Inuyasha firmed his hold on Hakudoshi’s throat.

He wheezed, his voice breaking, but still he continued. “You were fourteen, you weren’t helpless. Just inexperienced and stupid. That’s no excuse. You could have helped her.”

The hanyou turned around, walking back the way he came.

“Kagome believes she would have survived if only you were full demon. Your mother would have been better off.”

“Kirara,” He called, holding the child a little higher. “Hungry?”

Tossing Hakudoshi, the saber-toothed cat leapt forward and caught him in her mouth, biting down and vigorously shaking her head from side-to-side. His screams echoed as he was mauled alive, ripped apart in Kirara’s teeth.

Kagome perched on the edge of the ledge on her knees, aiming an arrow in her bow downward. It was almost too much effort to pull the string taut, the muscles in her arms quivering horribly, but she powered through. Supplying a lethal dosage of her power into her weapon, she locked on the best she could.

“Kirara, drop him!” She ordered, and the cat was obedient to the ring of her voice. Spitting the maimed demon out, she backed away and Kagome released her shot, killing off the wicked underling of Naraku.

She’d had to catch herself before falling forward, her balance off kilter, her body weak, her stomach objecting, but she swallowed the bile the best that she could. She had everyone’s attention now and there was still one demon left.

“Kagura!” Kagome stressed demandingly. “Go! If you want to protect Rin, then go! Now! Otherwise, we’ll have to kill you, too.”

“You aren’t even going to try to ask questions?” The woman asked through a tense jaw and uneven breaths. “You’re just going to let me go? Just like that? That doesn’t seem like the wisest thing to do.”

Aggravated, Kagome pulled an arrow from her quiver in a means to challenge her attitude, aiming it in her bow. It worked. She was stopped promptly by Kagura’s quick reaction to raise her arms in way of yield.

“Alright, alright.” She murmured. Her scarlet eyes looked the countering woman over, how she was fighting just to stay up. She was dangerous. She was a force to be reckoned with, and she could tell that with nothing but a glance. Kagura was there when Hakudoshi came to, and he hadn’t been touched with her around defending him. Which meant, Kagome had pushed him out. No one had ever succeeded at doing that before. Hakudoshi was violent and sadistic. He’d make a home out of your body and then kill you while he was in it. But, when he regained consciousness here, he was pissed. Which meant, he lost. He didn’t get up as easily, either. He seemed out of breath, he carried himself as if he’d been wounded, as if his strength had been compromised, and she couldn’t help but wonder if he’d been sent back not only with a damaged ego, but damage to his being, as well. “I hope you win, conjurer.” Kagura said before backing out, leaving the cavern.

With a breath of finality, Kagome let her hands fall to the ground beneath her, supporting her body the best she could. Spotting her cousin gazing at her with pressing concern, she gave a feeble wave, a smile containing minimal effort accompanying it as she gave a thumbs up. Miroku chuckled exasperatedly, rubbing his forehead in agitation before running his fingers through his hair.

“You said you’d stay.” Inuyasha said as soon as Kagome’s eyes glanced his way.

“Sorry.” She mouthed. Matching his tone, as light as it was, was just too much energy right now, and it was a struggle on its own not to collapse.

As if reading her fatigue clearly, Inuyasha effortlessly made his way back up to the ledge to check on her. The backs of his fingers caressed her cheeks, pushing hair from her face. She was burning up; it’d hit her hard this time. They needed to get her to a place where she could safely recuperate.

“I don’t think any of those things Hakudoshi said.” She whispered on an exhale. Her body gave the slightest sway, and Inuyasha’s hands moved to her sides to prevent her from falling.

“Shh,” He soothed. “I know you don’t.”

“I - I would never.” Kagome looked as if she were about to cry, sparring against her exhaustion to stay upright. “I think you’re perfect the way you are.”

“Kid, stop.” Inuyasha lulled. “Come on, you need to rest.”

“Is the fight over?” Her brow furrowed tight, and one of her hands pressed into his thigh as she wavered again. It was like she couldn’t feel his support. “Are there - there anymore demons?”

“No. It’s over.” He shook his head. It clicked. She was about to pass out, and at the perfect moment, Inuyasha caught her when she fell into his chest. Giving it a second, he waited. Her breathing was still there, her pulse was still beating, but she was undeniably unconscious. Honestly, it was surprising that she’d lasted this long.

With a sigh of relief, Inuyasha held her tight for just a moment longer. Everything was fine now. Her body was forcing her to rest. Kagome was going to be extremely unhappy when she woke up later, but for now, she was okay. He pressed a lingering kiss to the top of her head before adjusting her legs so he could scoop an arm beneath the backs of her knees. She was safely cradled in his hold as he stood, silently gesturing to the others that it was time to leave.

| previous chapter | <-

#inuyasha #inukag #kagome #kagome higurashi #inuyasha fanfiction #inukag fanfiction #monster #akitokihojo

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

You’ve seen this play out before, where it looks something like this:

“MAGA!” “Uh, no thanks.” “Why don’t you want America to be a great country?” “That’s not what that means.” “It literally just says Make America Great Again.” “There’s a lot more going on than just that slogan, and you know it.” “So, you just hate America, then. Got it.” “......!”

You can probably think of a good half dozen or so groups, ideologies, religions and belief systems that similarly defend themselves with an anodyne brand name, a slogan or a definition, and a wail of “iT’s jUsT aBoUt [insert brand name/slogan/definition]!1!”, despite a lot more going on under the surface. What they do, what’s done in their name, the message that’s spread... we have a right to object to this, regardless of branding. And we can reject attempts to shame us, or cast it as a moral failing, for not getting on board on the basis of a mere slogan.

Whether KKK stands for Ku Klux Klan or Kute Kitten Klub is irrelevant compared to what the group actually does, believes and perpetuates. “It’s just about Kute Kittens!” is not going to hold any amount of water. Some of the people who get that are also the same people who perpetuate it themselves.

https://religion-is-a-mental-illness.tumblr.com/tagged/Motte-and-Bailey-fallacy

==

There’s a second fallacy embedded in this as well, an Equivocation Fallacy which looks like this:

“No, I’m against teaching Critical Race Theory.” “We don’t teach Critical Race Theory, that’s a dry law school theory.” “Okay.” “So, we’ll be talking about ‘whiteness’.” “That’s CRT.” “We don’t teach CRT.”

This is a technicality. No, they don’t teach the legal theory of CRT; they teach using CRT, with CRT, applying CRT. It’s called Critical Race Pedagogy and Critical Race Praxis. Those are real things, you can look them up.

pedagogy | ˈpɛdəɡɒdʒi, ˈpɛdəɡɒɡi | noun (plural pedagogies) [mass noun] the method and practice of teaching, especially as an academic subject or theoretical concept: the relationship between applied linguistics and language pedagogy | [count noun] :  subject-based pedagogies.

praxis | ˈpraksɪs | noun [mass noun] formal 1 practice, as distinguished from theory: modern political praxis is now thoroughly permeated with a productivist ethos. 2 accepted practice or custom: patterns of Christian praxis in Church and society.

Theory isn’t much use without some kind of application. In science, a Theory is used to explain and predict. You can build things with Flight Theory, Gravitational Theory, Evolutionary Theory, and so on. Critical Praxis and Pedagogy are the application of Critical Theory.

Pedagogy is “ways things are taught” and Critical Pedagogy is where the Woke ideology is infused into school curricula to indoctrinate the next generation. Teaching “woke math” (”windows/mirrors”, “body/emotions”) instead of actual math, or discredited political storytelling as “history”.

Praxis refers to putting things into practice, and Critical Praxis is where the activism based on the Theory is applied: implementing segregation (”affinity groups”), peer surveillance monitoring and reporting (bias response), shaming children into confessing their “privilege” or being an “oppressor” (struggle sessions).

The point of both is to imbue education (children) and society with this specific, questionable (at best) and profoundly illiberal ideology as a moral imperative. As the astonishing amount of recent dishonesty, deflection and word games demonstrates.

Just as Xians have seen it as their duty to infuse the Xian god into the school curriculum (”teach the controversy!”) and to bring as many people as possible to Jesus. It’s not enough to believe it yourself, you must also preach it to others so they too can know about their Sin™ and seek Salvation™. Unlike Xianity, which has been kept out of the school room, Critical Theory has already breached the school room door and made itself the hegemonic orthodoxy, with one horror story after another about what students are being subjected to.

It’s unethical, manipulative and abusive.

#The Woke Temple #Motte and Bailey #Motte and Bailey fallacy #critical theory #critical race theory #neoracism #The Elect #critical praxis #critical pedagogy #wokeness as religion #cult of woke #woke activism #wokeism #woke #religion #antiracism #antiracism as religion #religion is a mental illness

[angelkurenai]

Imagine doing the WIRED autocomplete interview with your husband, Robert, and getting asked very often about your relationship with co-star and friend, Bradley Cooper. Only for your husband to get jealous.

“And the last one, I feel like no matter how prepared I say I am for some of these, I always end up surprised, so-” you cleared your throat and looked down at the board “Is Robert Downey Jr-” you read on the image that was the google search for your husband before pealing the sticker “The little spoon or the big spoon? This, wow!”

You both immediately burst into laughter, your husband clapping his hands and muttering “Amazing. It's amazing!”

“This contains the most popular searches right?” you spoke, looking at the crew around you and behind the cameras “I wonder who ever googled this. Who, like, woke up and said 'Hey, you know what I wanna find out today? If Robert Downey Jr is the little spoon, man! I bet that would be interesting!' why would you ever-” you shook your head with a laugh.

“Alright, first of all-” Robert spoke, a good few seconds of trying to recover from his laughing fit “Let's make something clear, shall we? We are not making fun of little spoons. Absolutely no fun. There is no shame in it, and I as a proud cuddler, cannot and will not judge big or little spoons in any way. Cuddling is fun and it makes you warm and happy, you should be proud of yourself if you are a good cuddler. However, that being said-” he put on a serious face and looked at the camera “I'm a knife.”

You looked at your husband then at the camera with a blank expression before shaking your head with a small roll of your eyes and added only three seconds after him “He's the little spoon.”

Robert couldn't help but snicker, the serious expression melting away before he nodded his head “Yes I'm the little spoon. What can you do eh?”he couldn't help his laughter “Seriously this is too embarrassing but I've stopped caring long ago.”

“I mean hey-”you laughed as you handed the cardboard in exchange for another one which you hand over to him “It could be worse, so let's not push our luck, shall we? Remember what you told me you feared to see in those questions most? Yeah, we haven't come across that yet.”

“Oh yes, how could I ever-” he said playfully, letting a small laugh before turning more serious, face completely honest – and words even more than anyone, besides you, could know – as he said to the camera “I prefer it when she tops, yes, to answer any google searches that haven't made it here yet. For reasons I can't understand but-”

You were your yelp could be described to a chimp's more than a human's but you didn't care, when you felt the heat rise up on your cheeks and your eyes widen a little in horror and more in shock and embarrassment as you exclaimed “Robert!”

“What?” all he did was laughing – or more specifically join in on the laughing of the rest of the crew around you and your probably dying from laughter and on the floor manager of yours.

“I shouldn't have- Oh I walked right into it, I shouldn't have brought that up.” you cleared your throat, shaking your head.

“Honestly, I don't understand- Why are you laughing? It's more relaxing, isn't it? I always found it better to-” he couldn't control his own laughter no matter how much he tried “Don't the gentlemen here agree?” he asked, earning more laughter but a couple nods as well “Ah there, a few brave souls, see? Better already!” he grinned at you, kissing your temple.

“Oh my- Just get on with the game, please!”

“See? She's so bossy sometimes that how can I help it if I ask to be sp-”

“Robert!” you squeaked, trying to get him back on track “I swear to you if you dare complete that sentence.” you gave him a look “Seriously, not what we're here for. Focus.”

“Alright, alright-” he cleared his throat “Back to business I suppose. Let's see what we got here-” he looked at the cardboard in his hands “Is (Y/n) (Y/l/n)... part of the MCU?” he read as he pealed the sticker.

“Well, that's a good one because you can't get a yes or no answer right away. Though we have filmed a movie, so theoretically I am part of the MCU, the movie is not out yet for my character to be really a part of the MCU. So-” you shrugged “Depending on how you see it.”

“Way I see it is the next big bad should be scared cause the strongest character of the MCU is about to join in! Plus the most cool one, would easily make even Tony fall for her!”

“He speaks as if he was even paying to me when I was saying my lines. You could see it in his eyes, the moment he saw me in my suit, he just lost all focus or grasp of reality.” you pointed out and he shrugged not innocently in the least bit.

“Eh guilty, but nobody can blame me. So-” he looked back at the cardboard “Is (Y/n) (Y/l/n)... in the movie 'The Judge'? Why, yes, actually she is. As well as the incredible mind behind the script of some of the scenes.”

“As well as the one to keep this guy on track on set, is the most important thing you're forgetting Downey.”

“That too.” he chuckled “Alright, next: Is (Y/n) (Y/l/n)... in the movie 'A Star Is Born'? Yes, yes she was. And she was incredible as always. Though I might be a bit biased seeing as I'm her number one fan. Maybe, just maybe. I don't know, I'm just sayin'.” he said with a small scoff that made you grin because he was always supportive of you without making a big deal out of it when it wasn't necessary, always caring that you knew it better than anyone that he admired you.

“Along with a wonderful cast, tough. Really it was one of the best movies I've been in, made so many friends too.”

“All in all a must watch. Ok, next one: Is (Y/n) (Y/l/n)... friends with Bradley Cooper?” he couldn't help but repress a heavy sigh that he made sure – and you knew took extra pleasure in – to be extra dramatic “More like, is (Y/n) (Y/l/n) attached to the hip with Bradley Cooper? That's the question people should be asking!”

You rolled your eyes, scoffing at your husband but it sounded more like a small laugh “You make it sound like I never spend time away from the guy!”

“Oh, I'm sorry, you actually do? I have never been witness to such a rare phenomenon. Maybe next time it happens, next time you actually spend like an hour away from him without having to text or call each other, I would very much like to be present so that I can believe it.” he said, voice full of sarcasm to the point you couldn't help but shake your head at him.

“Robert, for real-”

“No, I really mean it! I'm not being sarcastic or anything-” he looked at the cameras and people behind them “People think that Avengers Endgame is going to be the event of the decade, but I tell you if she takes a break from her friend, that will be it!”

“Alright, then, so what am I supposed to do on my free time if not spend it with my friends?” you asked in disbelief, eyes wide but a laugh leaving from your lips.

“Oh I don't know.” he shrugged innocently “Maybe, just maybe, spend some time with your husband too? Who knows how neglected he might feel after all.”

“Oh you little-” you stopped, only to narrow your eyes at him “Jealous you mean then?”

“Touche. But no.” he tsked and shrugged “Mildly neglected, slightly in need of spooning and probably a tad annoyed. But never jealous, honey, you know I don't do that. I don't really have the need to do that. I'm way above that.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, dear.” you sighed before looking back at the camera “Yes we are really good friends, if you didn't get it by now. Best buddies, I think that's what people call us; it's like every single person that knows us knows it and never questions it. And as for Robert-” you glanced at your husband with a shake of your head “He's a drama queen don't mind hi-”

“Me? I'm the drama queen? I was on IKEA with Evans last week and we saw this double king sized bed and you know what? I really started considering asking for it in case your buddy decided to join us for sleep other than breakfast, brunch, lunch, tea, supper, dinner and midnight snack!” he gave you a look that underneath all the playfulness you could read all too well. The small narrow of the eyes, the lips pursing in a tight smile and then following the click of the tongue before he spoke carefully-chosen words again “How does that sound to you, honey?”

“Unnecessary, darling.” you shrugged, a smirk lifting at the corners of your lips “You could just leave the bed and there, problem solved, plenty of space!” and a small laugh did escape your lips when the smile vanished entirely from his face “Anyhow, I think what's more important here than me spending the entire day with my friend, which by the way happens only once in a while stop overreacting-” you gave him a look at which he rolled his eyes “That's important is, what the hell where you and Chris Evans doing at IKEA?”

“Hopefully, if it all went well, making history!” he was soon back to grinning before looking down at the board “Let's see this one and hope it's not- Is (Y/n) (Y/l/n)... really kissing Bradley Cooper? Really? I-”

You were quick to clasp a hand over Robert's mouth before he got to say a thing and spoke yourself “I don't know what the person searching this had in mind. As in, is that really happening? Yes, yes it was. Hard as it was for me to believe. Even before our scene I was panicking on the inside, I'm surprised I looked so cool, because let's be honest it's Bradley freaking Cooper but-”

You paused when Robert took hold of your wrist, removing your hand to speak “And your husband is Robert freaking Downey Jr!” before putting it back where it was.

“Well, yeah, but honey you've been my husband for years and he-” you stopped only for a second, noticing the way he narrowed his eyes at you dangerously but in a way that only made everyone laugh “Well, it's still Bradley Cooper. So in the essence that it happened, yes. But in the essence that it was real, obviously, no... Insert wishful sigh. It was only acting.” you tried to pretend to be sad about it, but it soon fell apart when you laughed.

Granted, it didn't help that your husband was murmuring words that were muffled and made no sense behind your hand.

“You have something to add there honey?” you giggled, pulling your hand away from him this time.

“Plenty, none of which is suitable for the net. So, I'd much rather change the topic altogether. Is (Y/n) (Y/l/n)... married to Bradley Cooper? Are you for real now?” his entire face fell as he looked at the cameras in disbelief, a perfect contrast to your laughing reaction.

“Really not a good follow up search. Who put these in order? It's too fun right now.” you giggled more when you saw Robert shake his head and throw the entire board on the back with a flick of his hand.

“Someone that needs to get fired, that's who.” Robert grumbled, arms crossing over his chest “But then probably rehired and forced to learn everything about our love story and make an epic documentary about it or something.”

“Come to think of it, these are things many people have actually searched you know?” you mumbled deep in thought.

His head snapped in your direction so fast, eyes impossibly wide, as he stared at you in disbelief and in a way that you could hardly not laugh at “Are you kidding me now? I really didn't need to be reminded you know! I mean-” he scoffed, looking around “Why does everyone seem to forget we've been married? It's been years now!”

“See, maybe, it's possible that plenty of ladies and gentlemen out there don't know if they have any chances with you and want to find out if you really are out on the market or not?” you shrugged “Wouldn't surprise me. First thing I googled a week after I met was your dating status and let me tell you I was more than glad to fill that empty space!”

“See, she knows she is smooth and that it's very distracting.”

“Thing is, is it working?” you asked with a smirk.

He chuckled but his smile fell very shortly afterward “Definitely not this time. Mr Cooper and I will need to have a word.”

#Robert Downey Jr #robert downey jr imagine #robert downey jr x reader #robert downey jr fanfiction #robert downey jr one shot #avengers #marvel #bradley cooper #bradley cooper imagine #bradley cooper x reader #bradley cooper fanfiction #bradley cooper one shot #interview

[autisticcassandracain]

I have many thoughts on the weird phenomena in the DC fandom and the Batfam fandom specifically where probably the majority of people just straight up. haven’t interacted with the source material. and almost all of those thoughts can be summarized as ‘lmao that’s weird and mildly concerning’.

and because I’m annoying I will list them all here right now <3

1. To preface this post, I mean, obviously, comics are inaccessible as all hell, both in the disability kind of way and the ‘you need to understand the concept of hypertime to fully comprehend the DC timeline’ kind of way. Because of this, even if you don’t have a disability that prevents you from reading comics, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to look at the amount of comics you need to read to have even a base understanding of a character and go ‘no thanks <3′ and just enjoy fanart and fanfic in a vacuum. Ultimately, this is fandom, this is supposed to be fun, it doesn’t really matter.

2. That said, it’s VERY weird to me that the majority of this fandom just straight up hasn’t interacted with the source material, and moreover, that it’s considered rude to tell people that they should do so. It’s especially weird considering the amount of fanon-only fans I’ve seen who straight up have a superiority complex over canon. The idea that it’s gatekeeping to tell fans of something to actually interact with canon is just. so weird, and a fundamental misunderstanding of what ‘gatekeeping’ actually entails. 

3. But honestly I’m less interested in discussing the ways in which canon and fanon fans should interact with each other (personally, I think it would be helpful to create separate tags of some kind, but that’d require quite a big overhaul of the current fandom state) than in figuring out how this actually happened in the first place. On the one hand, it’s obvious; long-running superhero comics the way DC writes them have made themselves so thoroughly inaccessible that most people are simply too daunted to even try. Most media has a cohesive beginning and end (or at least, a planned end somewhere). Comics just... don’t.

But I do think it says something that, even among people who are clearly interested in the characters (since they have, you know, entire blogs about them), the effort to get into comics just seems to be too much to even bother. This really doesn’t bode well for the future of DC Comics. Obviously, I am no expert on anything at all ever, but I’d personally be surprised if DC survives beyond the few decades, at least in its current form/without a big overhaul.

4. But on the other hand, I don’t think the confusing state of DC Comics is the only thing to blame here. Fandom has a well-known problem with reducing any character down to archetypes to more easily ship and write fic/make content with. This problem is particularly prominent in fanfic, which, if you read enough of it, you’ll eventually start seeing not just the same tropes and trends, but essentially the same fics over and over again. And not just within the same fandom; everywhere, or every large fandom, at least. 

Fanon Batfam is entirely built on a bunch of those tropes; insecure/depressed sadboy Tim, team mom with optional hidden trauma/emotional problems Dick, bad boy with a heart of gold + sadboy combo Jason, abused sadboy Damian/angry easily-villified-for-fic-reasons monster Damian, good dad Bruce for found family fic and bad dad Bruce for angst fic, etc. This all culminates in a found family dynamic that’s generic and malleable to whatever fic the writer wants to write.

(This isn’t getting into the ship fic, which I avoid like the plague because the vast majority of it is incest, but I’d bet real actual money that the tropes in those fics fall under what is often preferred by the Migratory Slash Fandom.)

By having a decent excuse not to get into canon (the inaccessibility of comics) and a, by now, well-established fanon fandom, many fans feel free to use the batfam fandom as essentially an excuse to write whatever fic with reduced archetypes and tropes they personally feel the itch to write, without having to bother with even consuming a canon. This is compounded by the fact that canon itself is often contradictory and frankly bad, meaning that whatever interpretation of a character you want/need to go for your fic is at least theoretically backed up by canon (for example, you can just as easily cast Bruce as an abusive shithole dad who his kids need to get away from as a loving father figure who cares deeply for his children), which you can always use as a defense if people question your characterization.

5. This focus on fandom trends and tropes over actual creativity or care for the characters is also visible in the way bigotry manifests in this fandom; namely, in literally the exact way you’d expect. The female characters and characters of colour are shuffled to the side, non-existent, vilified, and/or reduced to harmful stereotypes. 

Barbara is probably the one I saw the most often in fanfic, but usually just as ‘Dick’s girlfriend’, and even then, she was often vilified for Dick angst (especially in fics about examining Dick’s trauma from his canon sexual assault; Kori also often gets the short end of the stick in those). After that, probably Stephanie, who fanon fans don’t really seem to know what to do with, so she’s basically just there as comic relief waffle girl, most of the time, though sometimes she can be used to either further Tim angst or further vilify Tim, whatever the fic calls for. Cass has gotten included more in batfam fics as of late, likely in response to critiques of fandom racism for leaving her out, but again, it’s clear people don’t actually know what to do with her. She’s often reduced to a racist stereotype of a quite, stoic therapist for whatever guy du jour needs it. That, or she’s in Hong Kong and just not there. Duke especially gets left in the dust in fandom, usually just being non-existent, but when he’s there, he’s almost always nothing more than the straight man for the actual fun characters to play off of. Talia probably has it the worst, though, and almost universally gets vilified by fanon stans in order to write sadboy Damian.

All of this is extremely predictable behaviour and falls entirely in line with general fandom misogyny and racism; ignoring or vilifying women and characters of colour, or using them as very minor characters at best. The only two characters of colour who aren’t regularly left out of fic are Dick and Damian, who are both also conveniently the two characters most often drawn and written in a whitewashed manner. In addition, there’s a real trend of demonizing Damian in fanon fics where he isn’t written as an abused sadboy, which I’d argue is in no small part due to fandom racism, considering Damian’s behaviour is in no way as bad as Jason’s, who doesn’t get anywhere close to the same demonization and gets woobiefied instead. I also find it convenient that Damian is probably the batboy who receives the most vilification in fic, when he’s the most obviously non-white of the batboys they’re willing to acknowledge.

Fandom often cries for more diversity in canon, only to ignore the diversity already there and focus on the same generic white guys. The batfam fandom is a brilliant example of this.

Which is not to say that fandom racism and misogyny isn’t present in the canon parts of the fandom (and canon itself); it absolutely 100% is. But I’ve found that canon fans are also more likely to like and care about at least one of the characters I’ve listed as ignored/vilified, and are willing to create and consume content for them, whereas fanon fans... aren’t, really. I’ve never seen a fan of fanon Cass the way I’ve seen fans of fanon Dick, for example. Obviously, this could just be by coincidence, or I’ve just surrounded myself with people like that, but it’s been a trend I noticed. Racism and misogyny is present in every part of this fandom and should be addressed as such, but I feel like it manifests the most blatantly in the fanon parts of this fandom. 

(I’d also recommend the articles Migratory Slash Fandom’s Focus and Beige Blank Slates, which expand more on the type of fandom racism I think is especially prominent in the batfam fandom, as well as literally every article in the What Fandom Racism Looks Like series.)

6. All this leads me to conclude that the majority of fanon fans don’t actually like the characters all that much; they’re convenient excuses for them to participate in fandom. Which I also think is, in no small part, a reason why so many of them react so negatively to being told to pick up a comic; they came to this fandom specifically to consume it as a fandom, because they wanted the fandom experience without having to consume a canon. 

This is not a phenomena unique to the batfam fandom (again, see the Migratory Slash Fandom), but it does fascinate me. While fandom is often said to be an experience focusing on transformative art, I think it’s also safe to say that, especially as fandom has become more mainstream, an increasing amount of people are looking to it less as a way to engage with their favourite pieces of media, and more as a type of media in and of itself. I think the reasons for this are similar to the reasons mass media entertainment like the MCU are so popular; you gain a lot of enjoyment out of it with very little risk involved. 

By consuming the same fics of the same characters (or the same archetypes) over and over again, you are rarely at risk of being challenged or even disappointed. It’s often very clear right from the start whether or not a fic will appeal to you, and if it isn’t, it’s easy to just look for another one. It requires less emotional investment than most other types of media, even ‘popcorn media’ like the MCU - or, yes, DC Comics. It’s safe, it’s enjoyable, it’s comforting, like McDonalds, but just like McDonalds, it’s ultimately bland and unsubstantial. 

7, TL;DR. Ultimately, I don’t think it’s like, wrong to enjoy the fanon version of the batfam without wanting to engage with canon, and I certainly don’t think it’s okay to harrass people over it. But I do think it’s in large part based on a desire to interact with fandom rather than other pieces of media because people are scared of being let down by those pieces of media (or worse, just uninterested in actually thinking), which is mildly concerning. 

#long post #my posts #infodumping #btw i say this as someone who also has trouble consuming much more than popcorn media/fanfic due to emotional exhaustion #but it's not a healthy habit and it's something people can and should try to break out of #also obviously this isn't about EVERY fanon fan specifically so if this doesn't apply to you specifically great then move on

[bookwyrminspiration]

hi! i noticed on the one post about ro that you said you have some thoughts about the whole process of everyone trying to help keefe with his new abilities. this is also something i can't stop thinking about so i was hoping you could talk about that, if you have the time ofc

hello! yes! I do! I don't like that scene! I've been excited to get to this one (thank you for your patience with me), because it just feels so...off, that whole scene. reading it just makes me furious at everyone interacting with Keefe

something that doesn't sit right with me is how everyone was so eager to keep experimenting with him, to keep overwhelming him to the point of extreme emotional discomfort, to the point he would break down, again and again and again. and it was portrayed as helpful, like he just needed to go along with it and cooperate and that it would solve everything if he just stopped resisting. no wonder he ran away if that was their "solution"

maybe this was just me, but it gave me the vibes of adults teaching sensitive (in terms of sensory input) kids to just deal with things by exposing themselves to what they don't like to "get used to" it. and that really isn't gonna be helpful--teaching myself to hide what overwhelmed me and just deal with it led to a disconnect where I have trouble identifying when I'm being overwhelmed now, so seeing these adults just push this uncomfortable sensation on Keefe to try and get a reaction out of him and then immediately fix it just made me uncomfortable.

there was also like this pervasive denial? like they were convinced if they got this ability under control right away before it could hurt anyone then it would be the same as if he didn't have it at all, you know? i didn't feel Keefe was being heard or taken seriously when it came to his fears about his new ability and what it could mean. it almost became a game to them, just a challenge to overcome. specifically, the line where they all start chanting "USE YOUR VOICE!" (Unlocked 657) made me upset on Keefe's behalf. he has specifically shared that he is afraid to do that and given a pretty solid reason why! have there been valid arguments as to why it isn't dangerous for him to talk, yes. but when push comes to shove his fear of talking is going to win because it's irrational and not something he can just immediately logic away. and yet they're just pressuring him into doing exactly what he doesn't want to

it seemed they addressed the theoretical logistics of the situation without touching on his fears. he was hours/a few days out of a major traumatic event, both physically and mentally. this kid needs some space, some time to process before he even begins to start doing some of the things everyone else was so ready to jump into. within hours of waking up he lost control of his new power, temporarily cut off a friend, temporarily moved into a new living space, and just generally didn't know what to do. keefe isn't the kind of person who likes to have answers handed to him, he likes to puzzle things out for himself--which we saw in Neverseen--so everyone just presenting solutions without him being able to actually work through them and understand them and apply his own logic isn't going to work.

this isn't to say that Keefe was a pinnacle of healing and reason and that given time he would've come to the perfect conclusion on his own, because he does make some stupid decisions a lot. but he also works well when he's motivated by others (mainly Sophie), it's just that this particular approach didn't take that into account. it was almost like they were treating him like Sophie, I suppose. they were taking what they'd seen happen time and time again with Sophie, who would manifest a new ability and then follow the guidance of the Black Swan to get it under control without drama, and apply that to Keefe--but he doesn't work like Sophie. He doesn't follow instructions or look to other's for guidance.

because I'm still mad about it, I want to jump back to that scene where they were all testing things on him. I want to know who thought that would be a good idea. to overwhelm him over and over again when he was fresh out of this event and still trying to sort himself out. there is the element of "these characters are showing how much they care for him by working so hard and collaborating for his sake" (namely Dex and Elwin), but it also feels...weird. I guess i'm just stuck on the overwhelmed thing and angry for Keefe, because being overwhelmed sucks and I don't think he should've had to endure any of that. I don't think any solution they found would make that worth it, but that's a personal opinion.

one other thing before I forget: Ro being there through this all--like she was physically in the room--irritates me. This boy cannot get some fucking privacy, even after such a huge event. He's still being teased about his relationship with Sophie during all this. Ro straight up tells him to tell sophie he's in love with her. My guy (Ro) now is really not the time and please shut up.

to summarize: everyone feels incredibly dismisses of his very real fears and apprehensions about this new ability, addressing it like it's a solvable puzzle and not like it's his actual life. his history of joking his way through these kinds of things has left everyone utterly clueless with what to do when he's not joking and when he needs to be treated like an individual person and not just a trouble maker whose a little in over his head.

and I will forever hate that scene where he's enduring being overwhelmed with emotion again and again again

#to clarify: my deep dislike of him being emotionally overwhelmed again and again is tainted by my own experiences #i am overwhelmed several times a week. up to multiple a day. and it sucks. and I don't like it. and if I were treated the way keefe was #when i'm like that I might just loose my shit. like he is hurting. yes it's a part of his ability but that doesn't make it easier. and #they don't seem to take it seriously #that's a personal dislike tho so feel free to ignore that #i want nothing more than to be alone when i'm overwhelmed #and keefe just had so many people there all the time. never alone. #kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #kotlc character analysis #keefe sencen #quil's queries #nonsie #tw caps #gah i hate that scene so much #i can't even articulate it #the all consuming upset I get when I read through it and see him so dismissed makes me >:(

[protectchara201x]

(ignoring all the other juicy Deltarune 2 stuff to shove Chara Talks into it lololol)

I haven’t been super active on this blog because frankly I have like, three? looong analysis/theorycrafting posts I’ve been putting off working on and it fills me with shame to log in and see them waiting in my drafts.

But.

With the release of Deltarune Chapter 2, I wanted to talk kinda in general about how I thought it could impact the fandom’s perception of Everybody’s Favorite Demon Baby, and also point out something in specific about the Weird Route that might connect back to Undertale.

Putting it under the cut to avoid spoilers and long-winded ramblings for the unwilling. Includes spoilers for the Weird Route.

(NOTE: may update later if I notice more things for to put in section II. I’d like to make a full list of parallels if I can tidy them up.)

I. Pre- vs Post-Release Thoughts (you can skip down to II if you don’t care, it is genuinely Long and Pointless)

Okay, so first off. I got SO worried like, the day before the new chapter dropped? It hit me that whatever new stuff we got out of this, people would connect back to Undertale, and. Honestly, I really do hate connecting everything back to Chara, because I do think of Kris as their own character and I really like them and don’t want to ignore everything they got going on. But, I am first and foremost a shameless Chara stan and they’re very important to me, so I kinda... did spend a few minutes reeling from all the new DR stuff as its own stuff, and then immediately started thinking about how this would reflect back on Chara in Undertale lol.

But that’s ok for me to do here because this is my All Chara, Only Chara, All The Time blog, so I am gonna only really talk about Deltarune here to talk about them lol.

So yeah, I started getting anxious beforehand worrying about how everyone would take any and all implications and apply it to mean “aha, Chara IS evil!” The fakeout with the pie reveal in the anniversary stream was a big relief, but I still got worried leading up to the release about what could be in it.

Because part of why I’ve always thought that “Chara was genuinely evil from the start” and even “ok maybe not TOTALLY evil, but Chara was still a kinda bad person” were unlikely was, even if you throw out all the other popular Chara-sympathetic theories. To me, both these takes just seemed too below TF’s talent and the way he wrote all his other characters with depth and love; a Chara like the one these theories propose just doesn’t belong in a world created by TF, and the way the Dreemurrs talk about them overall, the way TF made a point of having Chara say they were guided and repeatedly, correctly blame you the player for the destruction in Kill-All, I was sure that he never intended them to ever be as bad as the fandom sometimes tried to make them out to be.

... Like, mostly sure. Like, 80% sure? Because he never ever talks about them, so it’s impossible say for sure, and it is still theoretically possible that “Chara was and is bad” was the cold-ass take he’d intended all along. So yeah, leading up to the release, I started getting antsy that whatever new lore came out of it, either he’d directly confirm “Chara was a villain?” “*cocks gun* Always has been” or there’d be something that’d at least heavily implicate them, or could be twisted to implicate them, as a negative force. More ammo to be used against them in the Chara Debate Circles would be a drag, and outright confirmation of them as a villain would honestly break my heart and I’d be forced to disown Toby Fox, My Beloved Cool Dad.

And, right now? Tell the truth, I’m SO relieved and I am SO happy. And not just because of how much depth and characterization it seems Kris is getting! (imo, because rn I just headcanon them as an unhappy teen desperately trying to keep their new friends going on adventures with them and trying to fight back against the player’s control)

I love how this chapter seems to be TF doing course-correcting based on fandom interpretations. Because Kris just isn’t evil, even if they are a knife teen, even if they are the Knight, they’re just NOT evil and that’s canon, baybeeee; it’s made clear in this chapter and the previous one that they love their family even outside of the player’s control, they care about their new friends even outside of the player’s control, they’re established as a weird creepy kid but no one sees them as scary or evil, they’re just Kris, and even in the Weird Route, TF made a point of hammering in the differences between Kris and the player in the Weird Route: Susie and Ralsei notice how distressed Kris seemed after you have Noelle ice Berdly, Noelle heard a voice that she said wasn’t Kris telling her to kill, and the FUCKING Spamton fight: “Kris called for help... but nobody came” again and again, and then “You whispered Noelle’s name”... you, not Kris.

I know TF has never commented much on fans’ perceptions of Frisk and Chara, or who exactly is pulling strings in different routes. But after all this, and especially after seeing all the little winks and nods to fandom jokes in this chapter (what comes to mind: pulling everyone’s leg by seeming to have Kris attack Toriel with a knife only to reveal that pie theory was right, Susie not liking Ralsei’s real face as much as his shadowed one, Ralsei with a gun getting referenced with the ad, Kris getting a joke fixation with knives after the fans made Chara and Kris have knife obsessions as a joke), and seeing what looks like him try to correct some things (what stuck out to me was doubling down on showing that Kris is loved and valued in their family: lots of fans came away from Chapter 1 thinking that Kris was not valued as much as Asriel, but here we see that Toriel is supportive of Kris’ friendship with Susie, and it’s stated that Asriel is the one who used the crappy controller, not Kris) -

I think while he hasn’t commented directly, while he admitted to being overwhelmed by Undertale’s success, while he tends to be pretty tight-lipped about the lore (whether that’s because it’ll be addressed by future chapters or because he prefers to let fans sleuth it out), this chapter convinced me that Toby does keep tabs on fan reactions in Deltarune, so he probably does with Undertale too and would know about all The Discourse surrounding Little Mx Pink Cheeks (and in turn, popular theories like Narrator Chara... Toby if you integrate Narrator Chara into Deltarune being a borderline creepypasta and have the narrator start talking directly to the characters or to the player or the characters start talking to the narrator I will lose my damn B E A N S).

(Kris and Chara not being demonized and the narrator interacting directly with the characters were the only two things on my wishlist going in, I was fine with literally anything else happening lmao)

I even kinda think he’s going out of his way to separate Kris and the player because we didn’t get it before with Undertale, we still insisted that Frisk or Chara was the one doing it, and he’s even using Kris to show that even if this kid can be scary, maybe even mean, and maybe they’re even the Knight (with their reasons unknown), they’re still not a bad kid, they’re still funny and likable, and they still genuinely love their family and friends - which falls in line with Undertale’s cast of complex but likable people who can be antagonists and make mistakes but still aren’t truly bad people, and imo is a direct response to some people fixating on the idea that Chara was always evil because they seem scary/complicated.

... Which is a long way to say that I came out of Deltarune with my confidence fully restored about TF’s intentions with Chara and Kris. Even if he never comments on Chara directly, now I really don’t think TF thinks they’re evil or ever intended for them to be. Deltarune convinced me more than ever that Chara is meant to be complex, yes, and able to be influenced to do horrible things, but they were never intended to be as malicious or shallow as some fans insist.

TLDR:

Toby Fox read your mean fanfiction where Chara is a bad abusive serial killer no one likes, and he made Deltarune in revenge.

... Hm? Ah, you’d like me to get to the point! Right this way!

II. Undertale, Deltarune, and The Point

While no doubt some will still take the voice Noelle hears to be Chara influencing her to turn her into a murderer (I haven’t gone looking for it yet, but I’m sure it’s already a thing because I know this fandom), since it’s made too clear by the game that they can’t blame Kris for this one, I think at this point that’s just being too stubborn to consider other ideas.

If you believe in the totally made up idea used in so many fanfics that Chara is an evil spirit trying to whisper in Frisk’s ear to kill everyone, literally (for some reason) the embodiment of raising stats, and gets more control over people who have increased LV to take over their body... sure. Could be them, they did talk about moving on to the next world and all. I mean, that wouldn’t really make sense because it’s literally never implied in the actual game that Chara encourages you to kill outside of the Kill-All Run or even wants you to, certainly not as the narrator and we get no hint of them doing this as an unseen, unheard third-party either.

Not to mention they’re NOT literally possessing you because of increased LV; they don’t control you even with high LV in any Undertale route other than arguably the Kill-All, and if you fail the Kill-All and it turns into a high-body count Neutral, Chara suddenly stops using first-person narration and showing up in mirrors entirely even though they were showing themself before, the LV remains the same or even can get raised as high as LV 19, nor do they suddenly take over in any other Neutral runs. We can speculate on why (personally, I’d place this either on Chara’s mindset, such as them sinking into shock from the trauma or becoming more assertive as the player feeds their megalomania, or as a sign of Frisk’s withdrawal, leaving Chara alone in the body to take the reins and act out the player’s orders), but canonically, no, Chara does not take over due to high stats.

In fact, there’s even more evidence against this. First-person narration also exists for fleeing your battles in Undertale, even on Pacifist runs with base stats, 0 EXP, and an LV of 1. Since Chara is established to use first-person narration to refer to themself, is the only one who canonically does so, and is confirmed to be present even in all runs through their name and memories always showing up, it seems pretty likely that Chara can take control to flee battle. That means an increase in stats is not a sign of their presence or control, in Undertale or Deltarune.

The most damning blow to the idea that Chara is the voice corrupting Noelle are the lines in the fight with Spamton I mentioned. Kris called for help, but nobody came. You whispered Noelle’s name. Well hold on. If that’s Chara, shouldn’t it be “I whispered Noelle’s name”? As soon as you’ve officially started the Kill-All in Undertale, Chara starts up their “It’s me, Chara” schtick right away, right there in Toriel’s home in the first area, and if they weren’t the narrator before, they’re beginning to speak through the narration now. If the voice was Chara, surely Toby Fox knows it’d be a way bigger “oh shit” moment if the creepy scary hidden route once again switched into first-person, scaring us the same way he did before when we first saw “It’s me, Chara” and knew something was wrong; unfairly or not, their reputation as a villain is still well established and hinting to Chara’s presence with a simple “I” would drive the menace even further, if he intended for them to simply be a demon that possesses player characters when you grind enough. But it’s still just you. The player.

The Weird Route does even more to help Chara’s case than that. Not only is it made pretty clear that Kris and the player are separate, and the player is the one responsible for corrupting Noelle and making her kill... consider how similar Noelle and Chara are, in the Weird Route and the Kill-All Route.

This “voice” that “guides” them in growing strong, compelling them to kill everyone in order to fight for them, eventually driving them to murder people they know. Chara calls themself “the demon that comes when people call its name”, and you whisper Noelle’s name to have her appear to kill Spamton. Noelle’s conflicting emotions towards Kris and the voice as she is manipulated, as she becomes more violent and sadistic, as she goes into shock; does that not sound like Chara, who flipflops between holding you dear as their partner and wanting to move on to the next world together, to be together forever, and them being disgusted by your refusal to accept consequences and the perverse enjoyment you get in killing everyone again and again? Chara, who clings to their quirky narration for much of the Kill-All, but keeps slipping up, who becomes terrifyingly cold, aggressive, power-hungry, and even sadistic, yet still calls Undyne “the heroine”, still seems to still care about their locket, still has moments where they seem to falter?

Noelle does put up significantly more resistance to the voice’s commands than Chara does, and at least much more visibly shows distress and trauma. I don’t think this is a black mark on Chara’s chara-cter either, or an indication of them being more violent or cruel.

For one, while Noelle is still herself with her own soul, it is heavily implied by Chara, Flowey, and Undertale’s lore that Chara was reincarnated without their own soul, at best perhaps attached to Frisk’s (or yours): as I speculate in one of my currently unfinished theories, while monster souls are made up of love, compassion, and hope and thus Asriel was reincarnated without these qualities, it could well be that human souls are correspondingly made up of their own multiple traits, namely determination, patience, bravery, integrity, perseverance, kindness, and justice; if true, a soulless Chara would be lacking these qualities, which would make them less equipped to resist the player’s commands or to feel as torn up about it.

Also, the player has a hold on them both as “party members” to the player’s vessels, but it is also possible that the player naming Chara and having them directly attached to Frisk also gives them a stronger connection to Chara they can abuse, similar to how Kris and Frisk (as the player’s direct vessels) have much less autonomy than Kris’ party members.

(Fun observation: We know that when the thing controlling Kris forced Noelle into becoming a killer and using her to kill Berdly, Kris was horrified and shaken-up according to Susie and Ralsei. How do you think Frisk felt watching Chara be used to slaughter the Underground and then erasing the world when they’re totally corrupted?)

And lastly... look, Noelle and Chara are both minors, but Chara is significantly younger - a small child compared to Noelle’s teen. I know it’s fiction and strong wills and determination and anime is real and all, but a traumatized young child who died two violent and awful deaths back-to-back, may have literally experienced being a corpse in their own coffin/grave for who knows how long, and then came back ”confused” only to immediately start hearing a voice relentlessly commanding them to kill everyone?? I can absolutely see a traumatized kid shutting down and just going with it out of fear at first, before the LV sets in.

TLDR:

What you do to Noelle in the Weird Route is the same fucking thing you do to Chara in the Kill-All Route.

#undertale #deltarune #undertale chara #chara dreemurr #Undertale theory #deltarune theory #undertale meta #deltarune meta #kris dreemurr #noelle holiday #text post #long post #i am genuinely so happy #yall who were mean to chara better APOLOGIZE #toby fox is on the chara defense squad #tw child death #here's my hot stinkin take #full disclosure #i haven't run into anything yet talking about chara wrt dr ch2 #i am very curious for other people's thoughts #unless you're like #willingly and spitefully interpreting everything as being chara's fault #then tbh i don't want to hear from you