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fluentmoviequoter · 1 month

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With You, Even When I'm Not

Requested Here by the amazing @newobsessionweekly!

Pairing: Tim Bradford x fem!cop!reader

Summary: When one of Tim Bradford's enemies is released from prison, he sets out to hurt Tim by hurting you. You trust that Tim will save you, but time is not on your side.

Warnings: angst, car accident, torture (injuries to r), based on 2x11 but this isn't a rewrite (for once lol), crying, fluff and comfort

Word Count: 5.5k+ words

A/N: I didn't include a scene with Tim threatening someone like he does in 2x11 and I kinda regret it because it was hot, but I also really like how this turned out...

Masterlist Directory | Tim Bradford Masterlist | Request Info/Fandom List

“The almighty Tim Bradford isn’t coming to save you. You know why? Because you’re already dead.”

You force your eyes open and ignore the pain and fear to say, “So are you.”

Less than eight hours ago, you sat beside Tim in roll call. You force yourself to remember that rather than consider what Ferguson plans to do to you.

- 8 Hours Ago -

Your day starts like any other: you wake up, get ready, go to the station, and take your seat beside Tim for roll call. The sun is bright, the sky clear, and Los Angeles is event-free for once. So, it has the makings for a good day.

“What is up with you?” Tim asks quietly.

“What do you mean?” you counter.

“You’re all smiley and happy. Someone puked in my shop yesterday and you’re acting like this is the best job in the world.”

“It is!” You chuckle at his look before explaining, “It’s going to be a good day. Just let me enjoy this one for every hundred bad ones I’ve dealt with.”

“Sure.”

Wade enters, and you give him your full attention, though you never forget about Tim. He’s a constant in your life, and you wish you could have him by your side every moment, not just during roll call.

“Nolan, Harper is back so you can return to your TO,” Wade says.

“That’s why you’re so happy,” Tim muses. “You got rid of Nolan.”

You shake your head and smile before you stand. You’re patrolling in one of the nicest Los Angeles neighborhoods today, so you probably won’t see or hear Tim much today.

“Have a good one,” you tell him.

“Be careful,” he replies.

You exit the room, and Tim watches you go. Lucy walks to his side and stops, aware of what he’s looking at and longing for.

“Let’s go, boot, don’t just stand there,” Tim demands.

“Bradford,” Wade calls. “A word? Chen can stay.”

Tim nods and follows Lucy to the front of the room.

“Ferguson was released on parole this morning,” Wade says. “Sorry to tell you like this, but I thought you should know.”

“He had fifteen years left; how did this happen?” Tim asks.

“Who’s Ferguson?” Lucy inquires.

“Someone I arrested,” Tim answers. “He threatened to kill me when he got out.”

“Oh. Uh, should we-“

“That is up to Officer Bradford,” Wade interjects. “If you want to sit today out, I’ll understand.”

“No. I’m not letting him ruin my life, too. We can handle Ferguson if he’s stupid enough to show his face.”

“The parole board seems convinced he’s reformed, but we both know he’s a good liar and a better manipulator. Keep your eyes open, Tim, and don’t hesitate to call in anything you think is a threat.”

“Yes, sir. Let’s go, boot.”

Tim leads Lucy to the shop, and he's quieter than usual. Lucy hasn’t been a cop as long as him, but she knows what it’s like to have a criminal blame you for the consequences of their actions. She won’t push Tim, not about this, but she has questions about everything she heard.

“Pull up Roscoe Ferguson,” Tim says as he turns onto the road. “Get familiar with his face. If you see him, I want you to know it’s him.”

“You really think he’ll do something?” Lucy asks as she turns the dashboard computer toward her.

“I’m counting on it.”

“Dispatch, this is 7-Adam-9, are there any alerts in my area?” you ask into the radio.

“Negative, 7-Adam-9.”

You nod to yourself and place the radio back in the console. The morning has been quiet and slow. You know you shouldn’t complain; a sunny drive in the hills is rarely a bad thing, but you’re a cop, and you’re getting bored.

“7-Adam-9, switch to channel 4 for Sergeant Grey,” dispatch instructs.

You turn the channel dial and let Wade know you’re there. He doesn’t answer, and you slow at a stop sign as you bounce the radio against your thigh.

“You’re in the hills, right?” Wade asks suddenly.

He doesn't use your name or call number, only asks a rushed question. It concerns you, but you remain professional.

“Yes, sir,” you answer. “Do you need me to come back?”

“No, stay up there. Just wanted to double-check.”

“What’s going on?”

Wade goes silent again, and you repeat the question.

“Nothing, I hope. Just trying to keep everyone connected to Bradford out of the heart of LA today.”

“Why?”

“Ferguson was released.”

“He has 15 years left on his sentence!” you exclaim into your empty car.

“I know. I’m trying to get everything figured out and petition for it to be reversed, but for now, just keep working.”

“Yes, sir.”

You turn the channel back and set the radio down. Roscoe Ferguson hates Tim and would do anything to get to him. Tim knows you're here for him, so you focus on your assignment. The Hollywood hills are quiet this morning, but you know better than to let your guard down.

As you turn onto Tahoe Drive, you notice a black truck in your rearview. He gets close to the tail of your shop but slows suddenly and turns onto Tahoe Place. You roll your eyes; the people who live in the Hills drive like they own the hills. They probably do, but it doesn’t excuse unsafe vehicle operation.

You round the bend where Tahoe Drive turns into Lake Hollywood Drive, and the Hollywood Reservoir comes into view. When you glance up, you see the black truck speeding toward you again. You hit the lights and leave them on for a few seconds as a warning, but the driver doesn’t slow. If they pass you, you’ll stop them and issue a ticket, you decide.

There’s a point on Lake Hollywood Drive where there’s less than 200 feet of terrain between the road and the reservoir. It’s covered in sparse foliage, but it would be easy enough to get to the water or hide in the trees. You realize too late that the truck isn’t slowing down or moving to pass you as you near that point. It rams into you from behind, and you lurch forward before the seatbelt catches and snatches you backward. Steering is pointless as the shop slides into a small patch of dirt. The truck is still driving, pushing your car forward. The driver stops just before you collide with a tree, and you reach for the radio.

It's fallen from the console, and the seatbelt holds you uncomfortably tight to your seat. As you wrestle to free yourself and get the radio, you don’t see the man exit the truck or approach your window. He hits it with an illegal tool used for breaking into cars, and you turn your face away as glass showers over you.

“Hi,” he greets. “7-Adam-9, right?”

“And you’re Roscoe Ferguson,” you answer.

“Bradford, get back to the station,” Wade radios, “Now.”

“What’s going on?” Tim asks as he makes a U-turn.

“Ferguson stole a truck. We don’t know where he went after or what he’s planning to do.”

“We should find him,” Lucy says.

“And don’t say you should go look for him,” Wade adds. “You’re too close to this.”

“He’s not going to kill me, Grey,” Tim argues. “Let me help. I caught him once; I can do it again.”

“Get back to the station. That’s an order.”

“Yes, sir.”

Tim sighs as he continues driving toward the station. The last time he worried about Roscoe Ferguson, you were sitting beside him. Though you’ll never take the credit, Tim thinks you’re the main reason he finally got Ferguson in cuffs.

“What now?” Lucy asks.

“We find a way to help find Ferguson,” Tim replies.

“Get out,” Ferguson demands.

He pushes the gun closer to your face, and you raise your hands slowly. Your left shoulder aches from the impact of the seatbelt, and as you reach through the broken window to open your door, you feel the tiny scratches littering your face and neck sting. Ferguson pulls you away from the shop and pushes you toward the reservoir.

“What’s your plan here, Roscoe?” you ask.

He taps the gun against your back to make you keep walking. With your back to him, you slide your hand into your pocket and remove the laminated piece of paper you keep in it. It falls to the ground, and you hope it’s enough to help Tim find you and Roscoe.

“Kill me to get to Tim? Hurt him without touching him because you know he won’t let you get the chance?”

“Shut up!” Ferguson yells. “Walk!”

Taunting him may not be your brightest decision, but making him mad will make him careless. When you reach the water, he grabs your belt and pulls you backward. Your breath rushes out as your back hits the ground, but you smile through the pain.

“You will never beat him,” you say.

“Tim Bradford took everything from me. Let’s see how he likes the feeling,” Ferguson responds.

He raises the gun to your face and pushes the barrel against your forehead. You keep your eyes on him, unwilling to flinch in the face of death. He changes his mind, however, and brings the butt of the handle down against your temple instead, and everything goes dark as the water blows in the wind.

Tim and Lucy have been relegated to desk duty. With Ferguson on the run and numerous threats against Tim’s life, Wade decided it would be best for him to stay here. Wade watches them from his office and shakes his head when Lucy begins twirling her handcuffs around her finger. His phone rings and Wade steps away from the glass door to answer it.

“Sergeant Grey,” he answers.

He listens silently before lowering the receiver and stepping out into the station. Tim looks up, and his expression drops immediately.

“What happened?” Tim asks as he stands.

“They found the stolen truck. It was involved in an accident near the reservoir. He, uh… Ferguson ran a cop off the road, and they’re both missing.”

“Who?” Tim asks, urgency and panic lacing the syllable.

Before Wade can answer, dispatch reads your badge number in a missing officer alert, and Tim’s blood runs cold. He freezes, staring at Wade as he realizes what has happened and that it’s his fault. Tim never anticipated Ferguson going for the people Tim cares about – loves – and he should have.

“Let me go out there,” Tim demands lowly. “I can find her.”

“I shouldn’t,” Wade answers. He looks to Lucy and adds, “But I will. Don’t try to do this alone, Bradford. Take help where you can get it.”

“I don’t want the credit; I want her back,” Tim snaps.

“Then get to the reservoir and do what you do best, Tim.”

Lucy nods at Wade, an unspoken promise that she’ll do her best to help him and keep him from spiraling. They both know that it’s easier said than done.

“Tim,” you call out when you wake.

“Nope, just me,” Ferguson says.

He’s sitting across from you as he carves a piece of wood into a chipmunk. Your arms are tied tightly behind you, and one of your ankles is secured to a metal pole with your handcuffs. Whatever he’s planning to do to you will hurt you, but it will hurt Tim much worse.

“I hope you’re asking for a lot of ransom,” you mumble.

“You and I both know this isn’t about money. It’s about that little partner of yours and what he did to me.”

“Making you pay for your crimes? Yeah, he’s a terrible person.”

Ferguson moves forward quickly. The half-finished wood carving falls to the floor as he presses the knife under your jaw.

“These whittling knives are small, but I can cut an artery before you can call out to him again,” he threatens.

You swallow, causing the knife to bob in his hand. He presses harder and turns to the left before standing. Warm blood trickles down your neck, and you wonder what he plans to do to you before he kills you. If you didn’t have so much faith in Tim, you’d be tempted to anger Ferguson and trick him into killing you early. It’s a terrible thing to think, but at the end of the day, you’re a cop, and you know when your chances aren’t good enough. Right now, they are.

“When he gets here, he will put a bullet in you this time,” you tell Ferguson.

“You stopped him last time,” he answers.

He’s planning to use you as a human shield; let Tim be the one to finish you off in the darkness. Perhaps that’s why you’re underground. The only light you see is from a small lamp; when it goes off, you will be plunged into complete darkness.

“Stop talking,” Ferguson demands as he retrieves his chipmunk. “We don’t have much air in here.”

You try not to let your shock show, but as you look around and fail to see a single air vent, you worry that Tim won’t make it in time. Forcing yourself to take a steady breath, you close your eyes.

“No, no, no,” Ferguson chides. “No napping. We have to stay awake for the pre-game, and the final score.”

He tips your head back, and your eyes open instinctually. When he sees that, he tightens his grip on your jaw and circles you. Looking at him upside-down, you tug against your restraints. He raises a foot and places it on your bound hands before stepping down hard and fast. Your shoulders pull backward at a painful angle with no room that makes you yell in pain. Ferguson’s laugh drowns out your scream, and he keeps his hand on your jaw as he lays a rope over the back of your neck to hang over your shoulders.

“He’s going to kill you,” you say between pants when Ferguson releases your face.

He hinges at his hip, invading your personal space as he smiles and says, “You too.”

“Bradford, there’s blood,” an officer alerts.

Tim steps to your open shop door and sees a few small, oblong blood drops on your seat. Based on the shape, you were in motion when they fell, and it wasn’t enough blood to kill you.

“Probably from the glass,” he decides. “Let’s move toward the reservoir. We can’t tell footprints apart but watch where you’re stepping!”

“Tim!” Lucy yells from just past the tree line.

He jogs to her side and looks down. She found a small, laminated piece of paper, and Tim recognizes it immediately. Your self-proclaimed “perfect fortune” from one of your first dinners together as P2s rather than rookies. He picks it up and looks toward the water. He’s looking in the right place, you made sure to tell him that, but he feels like he’s missing something else.

“Please,” you whimper, even though you know he can’t hear you.

“How many more times do I have to tell you?” Ferguson asks. “He’s not here.”

The only thing on your mind is Tim because if you stop thinking about him you’ll only know the unbearable pain and the man inflicting it. Ferguson places his foot between your legs, pushing against the chair slowly. It tips back, and you close your eyes and imagine Tim catching you. It doesn’t stop the initial pain of your leg being held in one place by the handcuffs as the rest of your body moves back or the scream you release as you hit the floor, but it does give you a reason to keep fighting. Ferguson pulls you up nearly as fast as he tipped you over, and the rope digs in against the side of your neck.

“This is the best workout I’ve ever had,” he says.

He wipes the sheen of sweat from his forehead, and you notice how hot and thick the air seems. Ferguson admitted that the air supply was limited, so if you start wasting it, maybe he will leave.

“If you call him…” you begin slowly. “Let me hear Tim Bradford’s voice one more time, and I will lure him here for you.”

“Do you think I’m dumb?” Ferguson asks.

You nod and immediately regret it when he pulls the rope and forces your head down toward your chest.

“I’m not letting you take control. This is my plan, and it ends beautifully.”

“I can’t do this!” Tim yells.

He runs his hands over the back of his head and down his face as he squats by the reservoir. There are no other hints about where Ferguson took you, nothing to guide Tim toward saving you, only dirt and broken promises. He told you that he wouldn’t let anything happen to you; Tim whispered the promise in the dead of night when you were asleep during an overnight patrol, yet he’s holding himself to keeping it like it will kill him if he doesn’t. Because it will.

“Tim don’t give up yet,” Lucy encourages. She lowers beside him and lays a hand on his back. “We can do this, but we have to work together. The paper means something right? Could it be more than an indication she was here?”

Tim wipes under his eye, and Lucy’s eyes widen as she realizes tears are streaming down his cheeks. He stops them quickly, but she pats his back to remind him he’s not fighting alone. You’re fighting, too, and Tim needs to remember that.

“Lucy, I lo-“ Tim stops suddenly, though Lucy is confident she knows where he was going. “I know what it means.”

He stands quickly, and Lucy follows him to the place where they found the fortune. The little strip of paper from a fortune cookie has been in your pocket since you read it, but not only for the encouraging message on the front.

“34831,” Tim says.

“Your badge number?” Lucy asks, tilting her head to the side. “What about it?”

“It was on the back of my fortune that night. Hers, though, didn’t have a number. So, we wrote one on it.”

“What’s the number?”

“2 25 12 9. I didn’t think she’d know what it meant.”

“What does it mean?”

“It’s an alphabet cypher, but backward.”

“B, Y, L, I,” Tim rattles off. “If she had this, she may have left more clues at those points: 2, 25, 12, and 9.”

“This would have been about 2,” Lucy says, gesturing to the ground. “That’s what, 2 meters from the car?”

Tim furrows his brows at Lucy’s use of meters but nods anyway.

“We can’t walk 25 meters forward, we’d be in the water,” Lucy points out.

“Then we need to spread out in every direction we can go 25 meters… Unless I’m wrong.”

“Don’t question it.”

“No, she would’ve fought. He wouldn’t have been able to make her go anywhere if she wasn’t willing to. We should assume that she couldn’t leave a trail after this point.”

“Then we’re back where we started?”

“Exactly.”

“Tim, what does that even mean?”

“She’s still here. They both are.”

Tim turns and yells for someone to get satellite imaging of the area and the camera footage from your car. Your body cam and police uniform shirt were discarded by the water but the cameras could tell them what happened before and during the initial attack.

“We’ll find her, Tim,” Lucy promises again.

“Thank you,” Tim whispers.

Running footsteps echo over the top of the tin deathtrap you’re in. Someone yells, and Ferguson ducks his head as he moves out of your sight.

“Tim!” you yell.

Your voice cracks, and as you prepare to yell again, Ferguson pulls the rope around your neck. It digs into your skin and compresses your windpipe. Tears begin leaking from your eyes, and after the day you’ve had, you don’t care to stop them.

“Tim, please,” you whisper.

“Welcome to the final round,” Ferguson says into your ear.

He loosens the rope and pushes your chair forward. His foot pulls down against your hands again, pulling your shoulder muscles cruelly as they stretch to accommodate the impossible movement. You scream in agony as Ferguson pushes you past the point he stopped at previously.

“Did you stop to ask yourself what he’s thinking? Wouldn’t he have found you sooner if he cared? I’ve been out long enough that he knew, yet he let you out by yourself,” Ferguson taunts.

“You won’t win,” you say between ragged breaths.

Ferguson pulls your head to the side to hold the whittling knife against your windpipe, and the cut he made earlier pulls open. Your white shirt is stained with blood and tears, and even as your blinks slow and breathing begins to feel impossible, you trust Tim.

“The almighty Tim Bradford isn’t coming to save you. You know why? Because you’re already dead,” Ferguson says.

You force your eyes open and ignore the pain and fear to say, “So are you.”

Throwing your head backward, you ignore the sting of his knife sliding across the tender skin of your neck. Your skull hits Ferguson’s nose, and he staggers backward with a hand holding his face. Suddenly, you can’t pull a full breath into your lungs. Time has run out, and Tim isn’t here yet. You hold your breath as Ferguson stumbles behind you. He drops, and you see his hand and face are covered in blood. His chest rises and falls slowly, but you’re safe until the rest of the oxygen is used up.

“Tim,” you whisper toward the metal sheet above you.

“Wait!” Lucy calls. “The ground is hollow here.”

Tim returns to Lucy’s side and hears his footsteps echo. It sounds like there’s a metal sheeting under the dirt beneath his boots. He raises a hand to call a few officers over before someone screams. It’s muffled by the metal and earth, but it’s a clear sign of pain. Better than that, it means someone is still alive.

“Find a way in,” Tim demands quietly.

As he searches the area around the hollow spot, he wishes to hear your voice again. Not another scream, but an acknowledgement that you survived whatever caused you such agony.

"Bradford!” Janssen calls.

He waves Tim over and points to a small opening. Together, they lift the heavy steel cover away from the round hole. Another barrier of cloth and metal sheets blocks the entrance, and as Tim digs through, he wonders how much air is getting through, if any. The moment he can see inside the fortified bunker, he pulls his weapon and drops silently into the metal housing.

What was likely meant to be a storm shelter has been converted into a survivalist’s nightmare. A small corridor leads to a wider opening, and a dim light is the only sign that anyone is inside. Tim raises his guns and stays ready to shoot as he nears the opening.

“Tim,” you whisper.

Tim hears your voice and doesn’t hesitate to step into the open room and swing his gun as he clears the small, square area. Ferguson lies unconscious in the corner, and Tim can only see your back, the restraints keeping you in place, and the rope loosely wrapped around your neck and shoulders.

Your shoulders shake as you exhale slowly. When you notice that you can breathe again, you take a deep breath before letting your head fall forward.

“Tim,” you repeat, trying not to think of anything else.

Tim says your name as he holsters his gun. You sit up straight and try to turn your head to the side but are stopped by the pull of the rope and the pain in your shoulders. You hiss in pain before returning to your previous position.

“You can’t trick me, Roscoe,” you mumble.

Tim steps toward Ferguson and handcuffs him. He repeats your name as he moves into your line of sight. His hands are raised to his shoulders, though his expression is pure concern. When he sees the blood, sweat, and dirt covering you and your clothes, he has to fight not to rush to your side.

“Tim,” you say again. Your voice is louder than before but still has an untrusting quality. “Tim.”

When you start crying and lean toward Tim, he kneels before you. He reaches down carefully to use his key and remove the handcuff from your ankle. Your head rests on his shoulder as he moves, and when he sees the damage done to your ankle, the swelling, deep bruising, and handcuff-induced gash, he looks back at Ferguson.

Tim sits up slowly and raises a hand toward your face. He pushes your hair back softly and waits until your eyes meet to speak.

“I need to go get backup,” he says.

“No, no! Please don’t leave me, Tim,” you plead through your slowing tears.

You lean forward and wince when your shoulder meets its new range of motion.

“I need to get Ferguson out of here,” Tim explains. “There’s a lot of people above us waiting for me to signal.”

“Tim, please.”

“Can I yell?”

You swallow as Tim moves closer to you. He stops an inch away from you, with your knees almost touching his ribs.

“I’m not going to yell unless you say I can,” he adds.

Tim waits for your nod, then leans away from you slightly to yell for Janssen and Lucy to come in.

“Help me,” you whisper when Tim’s eyes return to you.

He sits back on his heels as he unloops the rope from around you. It’s heavy, and he sees your shoulders drop once it’s away from you. They drop unevenly, though, and he knows you need more help than he can give you.

“I’m staying with you,” Tim promises, “but I have to untie your hands.”

You shake your head quickly, and Tim moves his hands to the sides of your thighs as he agrees not to leave. He asks Lucy to free your hands and keeps his hands on you as Lucy cuts the restraints.

“Thank you,” you say.

Tim doesn’t answer before you pull your arms forward. With them free, you don’t hesitate to raise them and wrap them around his shoulders. It hurts, and you sob as you fall forward and cling to Tim. He welcomes your touch and wraps his arms around your waist, but he doesn’t touch you, too mindful of how injured you are and where those unseen injuries are.

“I knew you’d come,” you say through your tears.

Tim looks over your shoulder as Janssen and a few other officers carry Ferguson to the opening. He should call an EMT to meet you here, but he can’t let you go yet. His grip tightens around your waist without thinking. When your only reaction is relaxing against him, Tim holds you as tightly as he needs to. Your tears are drying, and you turn your face toward Tim’s neck to speak.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t leave more clues,” you begin. “But I knew you didn’t need them.”

“The paper was smart,” Tim replies. “And I will always find you.”

“He wanted to lure you down here and trick you into killing me. Every time I called out for you he reminded me that we would both die.”

Tim exhales deeply, unsure how to tell you he knows you and he’d never make that mistake. He sits back, twisting you so that he’s holding you against his chest rather than letting you support your own weight.

“It hurts,” you say softly.

“Can you get out of here? Go up the ladder?” he asks.

“There’s a ladder?”

Tim’s brows furrow at your question. How did Ferguson get you down here if you weren’t conscious when you came in? He shakes his head; the detectives (and Tim) will look into the details of your abduction later. For now, your safety is the priority.

“Can you climb out?” Tim asks.

“Not without help,” you answer. “I don’t think I can walk.”

Tim looks at your ankle again, and his eyes catch on the fresh blood pooling against your collarbone. He leans closer to you to find the source. When he sees the cut across the front of your neck, he knows you need help sooner rather than later.

“Hold on,” he instructs you.

“I- I can’t move my shoulder.”

Tim lays you against the metal floor and looks at your left shoulder. It’s out of its socket, but Tim can’t risk pushing it back in without knowing if your muscles or ligaments are still intact.

“Please just get me out of here.”

Tim nods and turns around so your hips are beside his shoulders. He leans down and pulls your legs over his shoulder rather than your arms. With one hand pressing your shoulder to your side, Tim stands and pulls you up in a modified fireman’s carry. You stifle the yell that tries to escape, and Tim’s heart breaks when he hears it. He spent so much time fighting, desperate to find you, that he didn’t consider how different things would be when he did.

With the help of Janssen, Nolan, and Lucy, Tim gets you back above ground. He collapses to the ground but makes sure you’re set down with care. You reach out for him immediately, and Tim pulls your chest to his again. The paramedics are close, but until they arrive, Tim will hold you like he never has.

“I’m so sorry,” Tim whispers.

“You found me,” you reply. “You found me.”

Your right hand squeezes Tim’s shirt in your hand as you hold onto him. You didn’t doubt him for a second. Being in his arms gives you the safety and comfort you need to fall apart because you know he’ll hold you together.

“I know what it means,” you say. “Or I think I do. B-Y-L-I; it’s backwards, right?”

Tim nods against you, and you smile through your tears. The paramedics arrive, and you’re carefully removed from Tim’s grasp, though his hand stays in yours. You’re not sure you’ll ever be able to let go, but Tim has already made a new promise, and he won’t leave your side until he’s forced to.

“Where’s Kojo?” you ask as Tim leads you into his house.

“He’s staying with Lucy tonight. He gets excited when he sees you and I didn’t want him to hurt you,” Tim answers.

He guides you to the couch and sits beside you after placing your things in his guest bedroom. Tim refused to let you return to your apartment alone after being discharged from the hospital, and you didn’t need much convincing to stay with him while you heal.

You lean your head against Tim’s shoulder, careful not to jostle your shoulder in its sling. He moves his arm to welcome you closer and tilts his head to rest beside yours.

“It’s I love you backward, right?”

Tim looks down at your hand, surprised to see your fortune in it. He takes it from you and flips it to see his handwriting. He nods and sits up straight. When you turn toward Tim, he wipes under your eyes as if he can still see the tears you cried when he saved you. Your skin is littered with scars and reminders of what Ferguson did to you, but Tim still seems to only see you underneath all of it.

“It’s I love you, Bradford,” he answers. “Whether you wanted that to mean ‘from Bradford’ or something else.”

“I begged for you to save me while I was down there with him.”

“I’m-“

“Don’t apologize. I just- I need you to know I trust you that much because I know you love me. I’ve known for a long time. But I also knew that even if you didn’t find me in time, I would die loving you. And life was worth living because you were in it.”

Tim’s hands rise out of his lap before freezing. He looks down at your neck and back to your eyes before smiling. His eyes look misty, but you know yours are, too, so you decide not to tease him about it this one time.

“I don’t know where I’m supposed to put my hands to kiss you,” he mumbles.

You hold his shoulder as you lean in and kiss him. His hands raise to your waist without thought, and other than the soreness of using your obliques to search for Tim while tied in place, it’s a painless touch. Tim moves slowly and intentionally as he kisses you, reminding you of everything he said and did, even what you weren’t present for.

“I love you, Tim Bradford,” you say against his lips.

“I love you. I will always love you, and I will never lose you again.”

Tim slides the fortune into your pocket as he kisses you again, and every pain and fear you faced disappears because you know Tim will always find you and make you whole.

#hanna writes✯#tim bradford x reader #tim bradford x fem!reader #tim bradford x y/n #tim bradford x you #tim bradford fic #tim bradford imagine #tim bradford the rookie #tim bradford #requests #fem!reader #the rookie abc

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spotlightlowlife · 4 months

Text

manipulating the audience hazbin a helluva easy feat

I will stop these titles one day

Anyone notice how Lucifer behaved a chauvinistic dude bro when faced with Adam, made worse that he was in the presence of his daughter.

So did Lucifer cheat on Lilith?

Or was this yet another sugar sugardaddy x sugarbaby power x pov exchange only with the inclusion of the most liberal woman ever?

Adam didn't initiate the gotcha girl and gotcha girl again mockery and gave no impression of caring about this, why was this the only thing Lucifer had to rub in his face? Adam would actually go on to open up about his envy of the sinners not appreciating him for being their ancestor.

Lucifer simply thinks sinners suck and agrees to the exterminations happening.

He is welcome to be smug.

This is just fine.

This franchise has a pattern of this, it gives the impression that this is intentional knowing full well that along as the audience backs the right horse, they can do no wrong, insert anything anywhere and loyalty or silence prevails.

We witness Angeldust, after persistently S harrassing Husk opening up about how he isn't as comfortable or confident about the world he's in. We see for ourselves that as sex positive as he tries to portray, he's nowhere near in control.

We then in a later episode witness Sir Pentious get SA as a gag, made worse that he was inebriated but still managed to do nothing but resist. This same episode Angeldust gets a serious scene standing up to his S predator.

Valentino is the prominent sexual predator of these stories, because Angledust is unhappy.

Elsewhere his royal, prehistoric 'good twin', Ozzie the prince of lust isn't to blame for the sexdolls he puts out of his lover Fizzoroli, the prince of greedy who shows no interest in sex outside of adding it to a checklist of things that sell is to blame, we are abruptly told this and guided to accept it because 'cute ship', even though that ship has moved into not so fun sugardaddy x sugarbaby territory, edging towards that of the awkward transactionship of powerful, bored prince Stolas and reluctant, disadvantaged little imp Blitzø, a predatory setup that's ok because both characters get the positive spotlight and Blitzø benefits and doesn't behave like a textbook victim.

Pentious didn't and did...

Stolas backstory is very significant, there is no sex positivity with his character, he was forced into a betrothal when he was a little child, forced into marriage as a teenager and made to have a child. His elders are to be honoured.

Who else found themselves in this exact same situation? Stella. They have an identical backstory.

Notice how, simply by switching some known characters around, Mammon and Fizz's interactions were a diluted spin on Blitzø and Moxxie? Fizz has a whole life away from Mammon, whose pageants chooses to compete in yearly, joint venture merchandise he promotes and phone calls he takes. He has a lover, a palace to roam around in and a day job. Blitzø works full time with Moxxie, breaks into his home, voyers on Moxxie and his wife, follows them on dates and has screwed their mutual ex for that reason.

Both Mammon and Blitzø push Fizz and Moxxie into work when they don't want to, however we have no evidence of Fizz always being reluctant, on the contrary we once saw him look forward to going to pageant rehearsal. Unlike Fizz however, Moxxie has shown open resistance to doing things in the form of crippling fear, reason and angry argument, it all makes no difference. Mammon commented on Fizz appearing to have gained weight however fat jokes aimed at Moxxie have been plentiful, something Blitzø has partook in.

The tone is that Mammon is the villain because Fizz is sad, Fizz who had not been shown to be another Moxxie previously but when it come time for him to be a victim, he was places into a Blitzø Moxxie relationship which this time around wasn't funny.

The tone alternatively is that Blitzø is eccentric, excusable and a fun lead to follow and Moxxie is the punching bag.

Notice how striker is a "supremisist" for wanting to bring down those at the top but it's perfectly ok for Blitzø to kill nobodies like himself.

elsewhere it's ok for Alastor to do the same to those like him with the reluctan support of Charlie who's goal it is to save these people.

Despite there existing an actual cannibal town, pimps and selling of souls being something she is acutely aware of, we are swayed to take Charlie's side as she sits in a position of power with her select besties at her hotel, that may have hard dr ugs on the premises, doing very little outreach even though we see community among extras, who does deals with literal lesser devils, in a world her dad created, her dad who allows exterminators to deal with who he sees as nuisances but she sees as 'family' and there's no conflict of interests, who do we see as the black and white baddies from day one? The angels.

Those who don't even sit at the top or know how things work to be specific.

Not Vaggie though.

Your favs are allowed to be dbags too, it doesn't make you reprehensible to see this and still like them!

#hazbin hotel critical #hazbin hotel lucifer #Hazbin hotel Adam #helluva boss stella #helluva boss stolas #helluva boss blitzo #helluva boss mammon #helluva boss criticism #hazbin hotel charlie #long post

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purplehalnw · 4 months

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I really really hope they find some way to make Alastor's aromanticism and asexuality explicit.

I see that they're trying to do that what with Alastor rejecting Angel's advances but it's not really enough (and tbh I don't even know what would constitute as "enough" while still making narrative sense in the story). Hell I've even seen a couple of reaction videos that've taken Alastor's "never going to happen" in response to Angel wanting to make a porn with him as "oh yeah it's definitely going to happen" bc you know that's the trope.

And then there's the thing with Mimzy where even though the show explicitly said they were just friends some reactors still assumed that they must "secretly be together or in love with each other" or some shit like that.

But I'm not really blaming the show for any of this because people will be people and will continue to have their assumptions based on mainstream media and society's values and again it's really hard to portray asexuality/aromanticism without having a full on coming out scene that would probably end up being cheesy in this kind of setting.

The most I can see the show doing is having Alastor just straight up say that he isn't interested in anything romantic or sexual (w/o using the terms asexual or aromantic of course which tbh would actually make more sense since Alastor is from the 30s and refuses to engage in/learn anything modern). But tbh that would probably lead to most viewers (especially the cis straight ones) just thinking that Alastor not being interested in romance/sex has something to do with his past or the fact that he's a serial killer and very likely has mental problems.

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eemamminy-art · 7 months

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This is a Lyse defense post, as I've just replayed 4.1 and I am full of emotions about her!!!!

People always complain about how "stupid" Lyse was for letting the Qalyana attend the peace talks in Ala Mhigo and it blows my mind how it's just taken at face value as naivety when she is clearly and boldly stating all through stormblood and its patches that she wants freedom for everyone

this part was from the end of the peaks section of stormblood, level 69 or so in msq, right after she's been instated as the acting commander of the resistance and the weight of it all sits on her! Raubahn shows her his old home and talks about her father and all that he stood for and fought for, and this is how she responds! ;0;

And here she is in 4.1-- she's struggling with her position as a leader in Ala Mhigo (a leader, not the leader-- important distinction) but she's still holding true to her beliefs! That no matter how despised she is she wants to do right by everyone and see everyone free!!

Even Fordola, who she has fought with and been so angry with for her actions (you know the scene-- murderer! butcher!! traitor!! poetic cinema and then they KISS)

And she even tries to mitigate any possible incidents by asking the Qalyana to surrender their jewelry to prevent a summoning!!

Also RE: "Lyse shouldn't be running Ala Mhigo" not only is she not but she also makes it clear that she is not looking to install any leader!! That Ala Mhigo would follow Ishgard's lead and become a democracy with its own house of commons

And although Lyse is a vocal representative for Ala Mhigo, she makes it clear that there are other leaders making up the Ala Mhigan government (as was mentioned above) and that Raubahn will be commanding the military forces/remnants of the resistance and not her

Anyway this isn't a particularly thought out post or anything!! Just one of the more common criticisms of Lyse I see online that is completely based on shit people made up because they don't like her or don't like stormblood more generally. Which I think then gets passed around because a lot of people forgot how the msq went in 4.X or just skipped through the msq quickly because so many regard it as "bad".

In conclusion: Lyse good. Raubahn good. Stormblood good. Please replay 4.1 in new game+ or something, you'll be pleasantly surprised!!!

#lyse hext #ffxiv #long post #stormblood

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i-heart-hxh · 5 months

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is Killua truly jealous of Palm?

Yes, I absolutely think he is!

It's never explicitly stated, but the subtext is so in your face in a few different ways that it's essentially not even subtext any more.

Togashi could have chosen so many different ways to portray the way Killua feels about the Gon/Palm date subplot, but making it clear over and over again how bothered Killua is by the whole situation absolutely reads as jealousy, especially within the larger context of the arc. Look at these especially!

Togashi puts so much emphasis on Killua's expressions and distress throughout the whole subplot. Of course it's partly intended to be comedic, but this situation with Gon and Palm does have serious emotional weight for Killua as well--pulling out the needle, his breakdown in front of Palm, what she ends up saying to him after that, etc. I do think the exaggerated and extreme ways Togashi expresses Killua's feelings are intended to make the audience go, "Oh, he's really jealous, isn't he?"

People can argue Killua's reactions are just because of who Gon is on a date with (someone unhinged/violent and much older than him), or that it's just "concern" about Gon because of his nen situation, and those are both definitely aspects of what's going on here--but to reduce it down to only that ignores those deeper emotional impacts it has on Killua. I think the protectiveness aspect is something Killua uses to veil some of the other things he's feeling about it even though of course he is legitimately protective of Gon in this situation (and he has good reasons to be so). I also think Togashi himself uses the ambiguity to his advantage here, because if he put in romantic jealousy that was any clearer, would Jump allow it?

The way Killua goes immediately from the topic of going on dates/being freaked out about the prospect of Gon having been on dates before to feeling heartbroken because he wants to be with Gon forever the next panel is telling, in my opinion... (The English translation is a little vague, seems like it was intentionally toned down. In the original Japanese version he says he wanted to be with Gon forever.)

Here's a post where @tjlnn22 and I discuss this weightlifting scene in more detail.

I firmly believe that a big part of Palm's role as a character is to get the audience to question the nature of Killua's feelings for Gon. Without considering this context, the way her character is set up from the beginning and what role she's intended to play in Chimera Ant Arc is confusing. But when if you look at her character as having been built for that role, suddenly her entire character and subplot makes sense. Here's an older post where OP talks about some of the framing of Palm's character, and then I talk in more depth about why Palm is written the way she is.

It especially makes sense when you consider that the date with Palm is one of the factors that destabilizes Killua's faith in his relationship with Gon, leading to him wondering if they're acting together as friends or just as teammates. Here's an awesome post @tjlnn22 put together and submitted to me on this topic, with specific details supporting this argument. I think this is an important part of the arc that gets overlooked, and I love how clearly it's laid out in the linked post.

Killua also acts dismissive of Gon worrying about Palm to the point where other characters comment on his behavior, which to me seems like another sign of jealousy and bitterness on Killua's part. Then when he encounters Palm again after her transformation, this is how he behaves towards her:

Hands on his hips, full sass mode here. Again with the jealousy...

...And then shortly after this he proceeds to have a total emotional breakdown when he admits to himself that he thinks maybe Gon cares more about Palm than him, and that Palm might be the only one who can help Gon, rather than Killua. Of course there are more factors than this behind his breakdown, including him getting pushed away by Gon prior, but this is DIRECTLY the thought that leads him to start crying and then sobbing on the ground.

The Palm subplot is one of the biggest things in the series that makes me confident that the romantic subtext around Killua's feelings is completely and utterly intentional. The way the whole subplot is constructed, the decisions Togashi makes around Palm and how she's presented as a character, the way Killua's reactions and emotions are emphasized with regards to it, and the significance of this subplot in the greater arc of Killua's character all show a great deal of thought and care, and it's hard to come to any other conclusion when looking at it carefully.

Thank you for asking!

#hxh #hunter x hunter #gon #killua #palm #killugon #gonkillu #asks #psy-onic #my posts #meta #long post

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tangibletechnomancy · 6 months

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Neural Nets, Walled Gardens, and Positive Vibes Only

the crystal spire at the center of the techno-utopian walled garden

Anyone who knows or even just follows me knows that as much as I love neural nets, I'm far from being a fan of AI as a corporate fad. Despite this, I am willing to use big-name fad-chasing tools...sometimes, particularly on a free basis. My reasons for this are twofold:

Many people don't realize this, but these tools are more expensive for the companies to operate than they earn from increased interest in the technology. Using many of these free tools can, in fact, be the opposite of "support" at this time. Corporate AI is dying, use it to kill it faster!

You can't give a full, educated critique of something's flaws and failings without engaging with it yourself, and I fully intend to rip Dall-E 3, or more accurately the companies behind it, a whole new asshole - so I want it to be a fair, nuanced, and most importantly personally informed new asshole.

Now, much has already been said about the biases inherent to current AI models. This isn't a problem exclusive to closed-source corporate models; any model is only as good as its dataset, and it turns out that people across the whole wide internet are...pretty biased. Most major models right now, trained primarily on the English-language internet, present a very western point of view - treating young conventionally attractive white people as a default at best, and presenting blatantly misinformative stereotypes at worst. While awareness of the issue can turn it into a valuable tool to study those biases and how they intertwine, the marketing and hype around AI combined with the popular idea that computers can't possibly be biased tends to make it so they're likely to perpetuate them instead.

This problem only gets magnified when introduced to my mortal enemy-

If I never see this FUCKING dog again it will be too soon-

Content filters.

Theoretically, content filters exist to prevent some of the worst-faith uses of AI - deepfakes, true plagiarism and forgery, sexual exploitation, and more. In practice, many of them block anything that can be remotely construed as potentially sexual, violent, or even negative in any way. Frequently banned subjects include artistic nudity or even partial nudity, fight scenes, anything even remotely adjacent to horror, and still more.

The problems with this expand fractally.

While the belief that AI is capable of supplanting all other art forms, let alone should do so, is...far less widespread among its users than the more reactionary subset of its critics seem to believe (and in fact arguably less common among AI users than non-users in the first place; see again: you cannot give a full, educated critique of something's failings without engaging with it yourself), it's not nonexistent - and the business majors who have rarely if ever engaged with other forms of art, who make up a good percentage of the executives of these companies, often do fall on that side, or at least claim to in order to make more sales (but let's keep the lid on that can of worms for now).

When this ties to existing online censorship issues, such as a billionaire manchild taking over Twitter to "help humanity" (read: boost US far-right voices and promote and/or redefine hate speech), or arcane algorithms on TikTok determining what to boost and deboost leading to proliferation of neologisms to soften and obfuscate "sensitive" subjects (of which "unalive" is frequently considered emblematic), including such horrible, traumatizing things as...the existence of fat people, disabled people, and queer people (where the censorship is claimed to be for their benefit, no less!), the potential impact is apparent: while the end goal is impossible, in part because AI is not, in fact, capable of supplanting all other forms of art, what we're seeing is yet another part of a continuing, ever more aggressive push for sanitizing what kinds of ideas people can express at all, with the law looking to only make it worse rather than better through bills such as KOSA (which you can sign a petition against here).

And just like the other forms of censorship before and alongside it, AI content filtering targets the most vulnerable in society far more readily than it targets those looking to harm them. The filters have no idea what makes something an expression of a marginalized identity vs. what makes it a derogatory statement against that group, or an attempt at creating superficially safe-for-work fetish art - so, they frequently err on the side of removing anything uncertain. Boys in skirts and dresses are frequently blocked, presumably because they're taken for fetish art. Results of prompts about sadness or loneliness are frequently blocked, presumably because they may promote self harm, somehow. In my (admittedly limited) experiment, attempts at generating dark-skinned characters were blocked more frequently than attempts at generating light-skinned ones, presumably because the filter decided that it was racist to [checks notes] ...acknowledge that a character has a different skin tone than the default white characters it wanted to give me. Facial and limb differences are often either erased from results, or blocked presumably on suspicion of "violent content".

But note that I say "presumably" - the error message doesn't say on what grounds the detected images are "unsafe". Users are left only to speculate on what grounds we're being warned.

But what makes censorship of AI generated work even more alarming, in the context of the executive belief that it can render all other art forms obsolete, is that other forms of censorship only target where a person can say such earth-shaking, controversial things as "I am disabled and I like existing" or "I am happy being queer" or "mental health is important" or "I survived a violent crime" - you can be prevented from posting it on TikTok, but not from saying it to a friend next to you, let alone your therapist. AI content filtering, on the other hand, aims to prevent you from expressing it at all.

This becomes particularly alarming when you recall one of the most valuable use cases for AI generation: enabling disabled people to express themselves more clearly, or in new forms. Most people can find other workarounds in the form of more conventional, manual modes of expression, sure, but no amount of desperation can reverse hand paralysis that prevents a person from holding a pen, nor a traumatic brain injury or mental disability that blocks them from speaking or writing in a way that's easy to understand. And who is one of the most frequently censored groups? Disabled people.

So, my question to Bing and OpenAI is this: in what FUCKING universe is banning me from expressing my very existence "protecting" me?

Bad dog! Stop breaking my shit and get the FUCK out of my way!

Generated as a gift for a friend who was even more frustrated with that FUCKING dog than I was

All images - except the FUCKING dog - generated with Dall-E 3 via Bing Image Creator, under the Code of Ethics of Are We Art Yet?

#ai art #generated art #i want to make a stress toy out of that dog #i want to make a squishy stretchy plush toy #with weighted beans so it makes a satisfying THUNK when you throw it at the fucking wall #you did it you bastards you made a dog problematic

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mororlesbian · 5 months

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I think that what the PJO TV series is doing, at least so far, is impressing just how dangerous monsters are to young demigods and how lucky our main trio is in surviving this long. The books did this too, of course, but when comparing them to the TV series and the minor changes made when adapting them and being able to fully realize that yes these are 12 year old kids facing ancient terrors ready and willing to murder them, they accomplish slightly different things. Namely, in TLT, the Disney+ adaptation shows us the dangers of the world demigods live in, while the books communicate, sometimes unintentionally, just how strong Percy is and how much potential he has.

For instance, the Furies. Mrs. Dodds is the first monster Percy faces in both, that stays the same. However, in the books, Alecto takes Percy away to a secluded place, interrogates him, then tries to kill him. In the series, for simplicity's sake, we skip the seclusion and jump straight to the interrogation. Percy, scared and confused out of his mind for good reason, stumbles and falls over, and manages to stab Alecto before she reaches the killing stage, taking her by surprise. IN THE BOOK, Percy immediately starts fighting for his life. He dodges a godsdamn Fury, catches a pen out of the air, and then does 'the only thing that [comes] naturally': SWINGS THE SWORD and KILLS A FURY. A reminder that Furies, in the original myths, were ancient creatures of violence and destruction that Athena herself had to pacify, thus earning them the moniker 'Kindly Ones.' And Percy, a 12 year old child, kills one with no training. Like, yes, she clearly didn't expect him to be armed, but she's older than the Olympians. She and her sisters hunted Thalia down, too, so it isn't like she's out of practice or something. Percy just has killer instincts and intrinsic talent to match. This sets a little bit of a different tone going forward: where in the show, Percy survives purely by catching Alecto off guard, showing the full danger of the world and the monsters and gods within it, in the book, he beats a Fury with just about every disadvantage imaginable. He's still terrified, and it effectively communicates just how much danger a demigod is in at any given moment, but it also shows that Percy is ridiculously dangerous in his own right.

The bus encounter takes this a step further. Whereas the book places Percy, Annabeth, and Grover in imminent danger, the show takes a different approach, instead opting for the Furies' goal to be somewhat clear, to the point of Alecto talking to Annabeth and proposing a deal. Annabeth, with all the skill of 5 years of training, distracts a Fury and lands a knife throw, but even as the trio escapes, Alecto is largely unconcerned. She lets their diversion play out, allows them to run, and confronts them at Medusa's lair knowing full well that she has the upper hand. She's not distracted, she knows every trick each of the questers could pull out. To her knowledge, there is absolutely no way they can win as they are, and the audience recognizes this by the way she acts. The only way they beat her is by, once again, taking her by surprise. Medusa's severed head made invisible is something Alecto never expected, and thus the danger of the world and the luck and genius of our trio is reinforced. The bus scene in the book, though, continues with the trend of making Percy an inexperienced threat to the status quo. Upon revealing himself, the Furies hesitate. Dodds wraps her burning whip around his hand, impeding him and making his hand feel like it was 'wrapped in molten lead', but Percy is still able to fend off both of her sisters at once, knocking one away and killing the other. Again, these monsters are older that the Olympians and wildly dangerous. Annabeth and Grover both take on Alecto, and in the time it takes for them to restrain her, Percy kills the third Fury and has a moment to tell Dodds to eat his pants in Latin. It's a tense encounter, and the risk posed to all three heroes is felt throughout, but once again, Percy is shown to be a force unto himself, taking out two Furies with his sword hand not at full capability.

The books definitely aren't always the most accurate in terms of in-universe power balancing, but I think we can look at The Lightning Thief like this. Book!Percy is an example of why Big Three children were forbidden. With no and minimal training, and very little in the element of surprise, he manages to amass kills on all three Furies. The world is deadly, and the books and his narration definitely get that point across, but it also gives us a glance of what Percy has the potential to be, if he survives long enough to grow into it. The series, with the visual of three literal children on a quest while being hunted by terrors, some older than anybody they know, including Mr. D and Chiron, shows us exactly why Camp Half-Blood's population is so sparse and young, why Thalia never made it to safety, why Luke's quest was the last until now, and why the gods ignoring their children is such an issue, aside from the obvious of making their kids feel unloved and unwanted. Their world is hazardous, and the demigods are in constant danger outside of Camp. The Furies are relentless, only able to be beaten when caught off guard and largely unconcerned by the heroes they face. Monsters are forces of nature, overcome with a combination of luck, surprise, and skill. The danger is pervasive, even in media made suitable for kids, and the alternative perspective this medium is able to take is going to make the progression of the series so satisfying.

#love them both so much #what an amazing adaptation #percy jackson and the olympians #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo show #pjo tv #pjo #pjo books #pjo tv show #pjo series

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risingode · 1 year

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i know places

summary: you never imagined that reluctantly attending your brother's fraternity party would end up in you finding solace in his best friend, Jungkook. yet you do, and it leads to you sneaking around and beginning a secret relationship, but when Jungkook's childhood friend transfers to your school, the pressure mounts and you start to question the future.

pairing: jungkook x y/n

genre: fluff, angst

wc: 1.7k

please comment or message letting me know your thoughts! it helps motivate me :)

inspired by the lovely Taylor Swift <3

You sit nervously at the edge of the frat party, twirling your hair around your finger. You didn't want to be here, but your brother Jake insisted that you come. Being a freshman surrounded by college juniors and seniors, you couldn't help but feel a little out of place. Sighing, you shrink yourself further into the corner you had claimed, praying to all the god's above for the night to end.

It wasn't all that bad; you had to admit that your brother's frats definitely took the top spot in throwing these parties compared to others. Any other freshman girl would kill to be in your position, but it wasn't your preferred scene. Snapping out of your bored daze, you notice your brother's best friend, Jungkook, a junior, making his way over to you. He was tall and handsome, with tattoos littering his muscular arm and piercings decorating his beautiful face. You had always had a crush on him, but you knew that nothing could ever happen between you, especially not with Jake's strict rules about his friends and you, his sister.

"Hey, Y/N," Jungkook said with a smile. "You look a little uncomfortable. Do you want to come hang with me and some of my friends?"

Against your better judgment, you nodded nervously, following Jungkook through the crowded room. You couldn't help but feel a little more relaxed as you chatted and laughed with his friends. Jungkook had a way of making you feel comfortable, even in a place like this. Jake went up to you, ensuring you were okay, and left only when Jungkook promised to take care of you.

"C'mon Jake! Let her live a little. She's fine!" Jungkook pulls you closer by your shoulders, and you send a small smile toward your leering brother. He sighs, putting his hands up and walking away.

As the night went on, you found yourself getting drunker and drunker. It felt freeing to let loose after such a stressful week full of exams and assignments. Before you knew it, Jungkook had dragged you out to the dance floor. You laughed and danced with Jungkook, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him closer. You knew it was wrong, and you knew Jake would absolutely wring both of your necks if he saw the close proximity between you. But then, out of nowhere, Jungkook leaned in and kissed you.

You were shocked at first, but then you found yourself kissing him back. It was like something had been building between you two for months, and now it was finally coming out. You broke apart, both breathing heavily.

"I shouldn't have done that," Jungkook said, looking guilty.

"Do you regret it?" You ask him, lightly scratching at the nape of his neck.

He huffs out a laugh, "No."

You smiled at him. "Then it's okay," you said. "I don't mind."

You spend the rest of the night together, stealing kisses between conversations. Your heart races every time you do, peering over your shoulder to ensure your brother isn't nearby. Jungkook just shook his head at you, pressing a hard kiss to the top of your head as he pulled you closer to him. As the party started to wind down, Jungkook pulled you aside.

"I should probably go," he said. "I don't want anyone to see us leaving together."

You nodded, feeling a little disappointed. You didn't want the moment to end but knew you had to be careful. As you turn to walk away from him, you feel a light grasp on your hand.

"Hey." He calls out to you. You turn around, facing the older man. "I'll see you later." He says, pressing a kiss to your hand before letting you go.

Summer passed quickly, and you and Jungkook continued your secret relationship. You would meet up late at night, sneaking around to avoid Jake and your friends. It was exhilarating. The thrill of it all made your relationship all the more illusory. You quickly confronted him, asking him what he felt about you and where he saw you two going.

"I thought it was obvious, Y/N." He replies, smiling. "I love you."

Those words cemented your decision to commit yourself fully and totally to him. Yet as the summer ended, you found yourself getting nervous. What would happen when you had to go back to school? Would it still be the same? It was his last year, after all. Would he really commit to you when he had so many options available once he graduated? He would always try to soothe your worries, though, never forgetting to make his feelings and loyalty for you clear. Yet your insecurities always lingered; try as he might squander them.

Sure enough, the new school year arrived, and you were now a sophomore while Jungkook began his senior year. You continued to sneak around, but you could feel the pressure building. Sometime in the middle of the first semester, Jungkook excitedly announced that his childhood friend, Dayeon, had recently transferred to your school. You were happy for him, it was clear that he was thrilled at the news, and he never failed to explain that she was like his sister. You weren't threatened. However, that all came crumbling down when everyone around him kept making it their mission to convince Jungkook to give Dayeon a chance. They kept telling him he had never had a "real relationship" and that Dayeon would be good for him. You wanted to yell in their faces, 'He has a girlfriend! Who he loves and cherishes! And who loves him back!' but all you could do was bite your tongue and tensely nod.

You tried to ignore it but couldn't help feeling like you were competing with Dayeon. You knew that Jungkook loved you. Hell, he had shown you in so many ways, even giving you a promise ring that you could only stare at because it would raise more questions than anything. Nevertheless, you couldn't shake the feeling that something would go wrong. Call it girlfriend's intuition.

You weren't going to go, even ignoring the pleas that rang from your phone's speaker as you rejected your boyfriend's invite, but seeing how you wrapped up before you thought you would, you decided to attend your brother's weekly house party. It honestly would do you more good than harm anyways. You had been so caught up in your schoolwork that you didn't even have time to see Jungkook the whole week. As you walked into the party, you heard the crowd cheering. Smiling, you follow the sounds of the shouting voices, eager to see the chaos that always inhabited your brother's parties. You looked over to where everyone was pointing and gasping and saw Jungkook and Dayeon standing in the middle of the room. They were being encouraged to kiss by the crowd, who egged the two of them on. Your heart sinks. He wouldn't, right?

You let out a tense gasp as Dayeon lunges forward and kisses Jungkook. You wanted to run away and hide, but your feet felt glued to the floor. When Jungkook finally pushed Dayeon away, your eyes met his, and his bashful smile dropped. You shake your head, trying past the crowd of cheering onlookers. Unbeknownst to you, Jungkook immediately chases after you, but his attempts prove futile as he's forced to see you drive away. He was too late.

You couldn't believe it. Your heart felt like it was breaking into a million pieces. Sure, he pushed her away, but you couldn't shake the feeling in the pit of your stomach as you saw his smile, how he looked at the girl as he patted her head and forced her to stop trying to lunge in for another kiss. Did he think you were a joke? That the whole relationship you had built was nothing but a nasty hidden secret?

You cried herself to sleep that night and woke up feeling empty and lost. You didn't know what to do or how to feel. All your doubts and fears about your relationship came rushing back, and you felt like you had been living a lie.

The next day, Jungkook gathered all your friends to discuss what happened. He admitted to kissing Dayeon but clarified that his feelings for you were real and that the kiss had meant nothing. Jake was furious when he found out about the relationship and Jungkook's subsequent cheating and punched Jungkook in the face. Jungkook didn't retaliate. He knew he deserved it.

Later that day, Jake sat down with you and admitted to hitting Jungkook. He apologized for not taking better care of you and for letting you get hurt by one of his friends. You were shocked, a little guilty, yet somewhat relieved to hear your brother's words. It did little to mend your broken heart, and you wanted nothing more than to check up on Jungkook, but you knew that the right time would come to sort it all out.

Finally, the time came for you to sit down with Jungkook to talk things out. You both had a lot of emotions to work through and as you sit in front of the older man, tears running down your face, you realize that this wasn't how your life was supposed to be.

"You know," you begin, wiping the trailing tears away. "I think that this was meant to happen."

Jungkook frowns, his eyes darting all around your face, trying to discern what you are trying to say. You nodded to yourself, gathering the courage to voice your following words.

"I want to break up." Your words cast a horrified look onto his face.

"What?" He whispers, and you just nod again.

"I'm done sneaking around, Jungkook. I'm done being nothing more than a secret. I deserve to be shown off, to tell my parents that I have a boyfriend who I love and who loves me." You smile, "And I just don't think it's going to happen with us."

“Y/N …” His eyes are piercing into yours, trying to see if he could recognize an ounce of hesitance. He felt as if he couldn't breathe. His heart was beating so fast that he wouldn't be surprised if it somehow managed to jump out of his chest.

"I'm sorry, Jungkook. I love you, I do." You move to get up, walking toward the door and holding it open. "But loving you isn't enough to fix what you've broken."

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cnwolf-brainrot · 5 months

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03 Turtles - Greatest Fears

At least, as sourced from season 3, episode 14: The Darkness Within. I rewatched this episode, where the turtles are shown some of their greatest fears through hallucinogenic visions, and I decided to hyper-analyze the scenes to a friend of mine who doesn't watch TMNT so now I'm throwing these thoughts here as well. Simply put, these are the visions the turtles are shown: Leonardo: the death of Master Splinter Donatello: the death of Angel (who they were trying to help on this mission) Michelangelo: Leonardo turning against him Raphael: himself as the Shredder

As for why each of these are extremely important, I analyze them under the cut~

Leonardo: Leo holds Splinter's praise so much higher than his brothers do. Leo is the eldest child, the leader, the good student and the role model. He strives to emulate his father in all that he does. However, Splinter's death isn't some distant fantasy that Leo could never imagine; it's a real, stark, bone-deep terror that Leo carries. He's seen Splinter on the brink of death before. They all thought they lost him for a bit during season one. Leo knows his father isn't invincible, and that is TERRIFYING to him. He's the one who his brothers look to for guidance, and Leo looks to Splinter... without his father, EVERYTHING falls on his shoulders, and is he strong enough to bear that? This is further proved by the fact that in the vision thing Leo sees, Splinter rescues him before he dies; he looks to his father for guidance, security, everything... having to lead alone is his greatest fear.

Donatello: Don gets like twenty seconds of screen time and that makes me mad, but what he gets is important. Out of all of his brothers, his is the only vision that's focused on someone other than direct family. Donatello is a people-focused character; he goes out of his way to help others, and constantly throughout the series we see how empathetic he is. It doesn't matter if the focus of the episode is helping a dear friend or a stranger; Donny is the first in line to help. Moreover, he takes every single life they touch personally. This is seen specifically through how he keeps a bond with the homeless population of New York (seen in multiple episodes), how he witnesses the loss of April's neighbor Kirby, and how he spends months trying to find a cure for people who were experimented on by the Shredder (seen in the Underground episodes) even after his brothers have all but forgotten about them. Don is quick to protect people, and when he does he takes every single failure to heart. Failing someone he pledged to help is his greatest fear.

Michelangelo: Mikey seeing one of his brothers, particularly Leonardo, turn against him shows so much of his relationship with his brothers. Mikey's the annoying one, the goofball, the one the others are always teasing to the point its almost mean... but every single one of them would jump to his side in an INSTANT if he was hurt. This isn't just something Mikey "knows", it's something he SEES. Every time Mikey is in trouble, or -- God forbid -- an enemy makes the mistake of THREATENING Mikey, his brothers come out in full force. I can't even reference specific episodes here because it's throughout the WHOLE SERIES. Mikey knows he's annoying, and he knows he gets on his brothers nerves sometimes. But one thing he never has to doubt is if his brothers would be by his side... that is, until they're not. If there's ever something that would push his brothers far enough that they're not there with him, then what would he be left with? His brothers turning against him is Mikey's greatest fear.

Raphael: Raphael. OHHHHHH Raphael. The second Raph's was reveal was the second I decided I needed to type out this rant. At first his is simple; The Shredder walks out and attacks him. Raph fights back, as he always does, but eventually the helmet is knocked off and the Shredder's face is revealed... only it's Raph's face. And this shows us just what Raph is scared of; HIMSELF. Raphael genuinely struggles with anger issues in the 2003 show in a way that's a bit more prominent than in other iterations (my favorite example of this is probably the "what's wrong with me?" from the episode Lone Raph and Cub). He's angry, he's destructive, and he KNOWS this. It's something he's been told and seen for years. He struggles with controlling his anger, and he's had times before when he's lashed out and nearly hurt his brothers. Most of the time he brushes it off and recovers and makes up for it by throwing himself into danger to make sure his brothers aren't hurt. What makes this so heartbreaking is that this Raphael is an absolute sweetheart. He's all brawn and thick skin on the outside, but he's an utter softie; take his interactions with Tyler from Lone Raph and Cub, Mrs. Morrison from Touch and Go, or Ryan from this episode. And that's not to mention his interactions with his brothers!! This Raphael has a huge heart for others, and he has no idea. He genuinely doesn't seem to understand the fact that he's a caring person because he only is aware of his own faults. The fact that he sees himself as this -- their greatest enemy unmasked to see HIMSELF underneath -- shows just how little he knows about who he truly is. Raphael's greatest fear is himself, and that utterly breaks, my heart. Ok I'm done that's just my turtle overanalysis for the day, thank you for coming to my TED talk

#tmnt #tmnt 2003 #tmnt rant #tmnt analysis #tmnt leonardo #tmnt donatello #tmnt michelangelo #tmnt raphael #tmnt 2k3 #tmnt leo 2003 #tmnt don 2003 #tmnt mikey 2003 #tmnt raph 2003

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just-some-guy-joust · 1 month

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Just Some Guy OC Tourney - Side A: Round 1

Rules:

do NOT be mean to anyone or any characters in these polls. you MUST clarify if you are joking/teasing or you will be blocked. if you are someone who entered an oc into this and you are mean to other contestants you will be disqualified

do NOT claim a character doesn't deserve to be here. yes including your own. be nice

if you are posting propaganda you have to tag us, including if your propaganda is in the reblogs. it is difficult to tell when something is or isn't propaganda. anything not tagging us will likely be missed

please don't hesitate to let me know if i messed something up!

have fun, hype each other up <3 thank you

Jaiden Wells | She/her | @apotheoseity

Jaiden is.. really just some girl. A college student and avid Tumblr user, many of the people she's close to are wrapped up into supernatural or otherwise out-of-this-world situations, but she's just.. not. Everyone around her is terrified that she'll be exposed to some sort of horror, and at some points she's jealous of the people around her for leading such interesting lives, but she remains.. utterly mundane.

Promos: https://toyhou.se/16595108.jaiden-wells

Finch | They/them, it/its | @hershelchocolateart

CW: Themes of emotional manipulation (in the full description under the cut)

Finch is the newest ghost to appear in the Whisper Court Ghost Sanctuary. While they themself consider this to be unremarkable, somehow everyone else in the cast is convinced that their appearance is malicious in some nature. While they spend the story trying to come to terms with who they are and find a future they want to live with, everyone else has pushed them to the forefront of the story by convincing themselves there's something going on behind the scenes. Even one of the Deities of this world is enamored with them, but Finch is simply too busy hanging out with their friends and attending tea parties to really know what's going on. Finch is simply a widdle guy who wants SOMEONE to come to board game night but no one trusts them :(

Promos: https://www.tumblr.com/whisper-court <-this is the Tumblr blog I plan to release Whisper Court to! Currently in pre-production, I'm making pages VERY soon, preliminary release date is up, you can follow for updates!

Full images and descriptions under the cut!

[no extra description provided]

FINCH IS SIMPLY. A WIDDLE GUY. they are so small and so new to this world and everything is beautiful and exciting but *someone* decided that wasn't allowed. Finch is pushed to their limit time and time again solely because no one listens to them, and others under the influence of the antagonist often encourage this. Their entire plot revolves around turning Finch into the main character they never wanted to be, and pushing them down until they break. But Finch is simply a baby who wants friends to hang out with and I admire them for that so much

#tournament poll #oc tournament #ocs #some guy joust #jaiden wells #finch

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mostlyfate · 5 months

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Would it be okay to ask you for jdrama recs? Coming from someone who hasn't watched a single jdrama in their life 😊 Kind of a jdrama starter pack please? ❤️

*sweats nervously once again* bc as I said before I honestly don’t like to rec things bc I think my taste is all over the place... 😂 and I'm not one who really pays attention or think about the faults of dramas. I just watch and enjoy (most of the time) lol. It also has only been almost four years for me with watching jdramas so I feel like I'm still pretty new to them haha. but I will try~ and what I mention is honestly more of ones I enjoyed the most watching and can remember!

okaaay! if you want to start out v short and sweet w some 🦋's i have two favorite drama specials 💘

— Tadashi Koi no Hajimekata (2023) | episodes: 01. genres: romance, youth. » there's only one episode but with two different versions! the name mentioned above is the first version and then tadashi koi no hajimekata: horoama? horoniga? date hen is the second version. it basically the same but shows the perspective of the two male leads with additional scenes! i just loved the pairing of mako and eita and their chemistry was soo good and fun. i am still v sad it wasn't an actual full length drama 😭 and the song that played at the end of date version was on repeat for months! 10/10 reccomend ✨

— An no Ririkku: Sakuragi An Haiku Hajimetemimashita (2021) | episodes: 02. genres: drama, youth. » i remember enjoying this one a lot it was definitely one of my favorite watches in 2021! since this one isn't the freshest in my memory (i have the worst memory fr) i can't say much but i swear i was obsessed w this special and the leads back in 2021!! 😆

before i get into mentioning actual full-length dramas i'll mention my two favorite jmovies that i actually physically own :)) so if you're interested in watching a movie before diving into dramas 💐

— Murder at Shijinso (2019) | duration: 2hr. 0 min. genres: horror, mystery, thriller, youth. » i love this dumb (affectionately) silly movie so much!! it might also be because i love the main actress hamabe minami but it's definitely just a fun murder mystery to watch :D

— You're Not Normal, Either! (2021) | duration: 1hr. 38 min. genres: comedy, romance, drama. » i enjoyed this one a lot!!! obviously since i also went out of my way to own it haha. but yeah my reviews for literally everything i like is "i enjoyed it" 😅 but seriously i did 🙇‍♀️

now for dramas!! i'll mention my two all time faves then ones i remember enjoying the most! 💐

— Talio Fukushu Daiko no Futari (2020) | episodes: 07. genres: comedy, law, mystery. » it's been three years since it aired and i'm still crying about it 😭 it's the one drama i never shut up about and think about all the time. it's my favorite drama of all time like nothing throughout the years has had a hold on me since!! (what i've previously said about it~) | the way both leads played off each other and their chemistry was just- a++ the soundtrack for the drama was also such a treat and the vibes matched it so well! the vibes of the whole drama though!! I think it was also shot beautifully. and the consistency (!!! the way they kept things going even the smallest details !!!) throughout was something i really appreciated and looked forward too :’) i really be missing it everyday... </3 | i literally have a talio collection that i finally completed a few months ago 🥹 i have the dvd, cd, vinyl, and the magazine the leads were on the cover of 🫶

— Itsuka, Nemuri Ni Tsuku Hi (2019) | episodes: 06. genres: fantasy, friendship, supernatural, youth. » this one still makes my heart hurt whenever i think about it and i just simply love it to pieces. it really has left an lasting impression on me. short and bittersweet. 🖤

dramas that are romance focused 💓

— Koi wa Tsuzuku yo Doko Made mo (2020) | episodes: 10. genres: comedy, medical, romance. » ahh so i think this was my first jdrama i watched!?! i honestly cant remember if i watched any before this bc this was the first jdrama i actually made gifs of so i'm going off of that as it being the first haha. but if you want something nice and fun to watch with romance at the forefront this is for youuu! bc i feel like most of my recs aren't romance heavy! and i just remember being obsessed with the leads and pretty sure it's what made me continue to watch jdramas 🫣

— Animals (2022) | episodes: 08 (+ 2 specials). genres: business, romance, drama. » loved loved loved this drama! one out of the five favorite dramas i watched in 2022!! great friendships, great message, funny and sweet moments, lovely lead— umi-chan i miss youuu. 🤧

— Oshi ga Joshi ni Narimashite (2023) | episodes: 12. genres: comedy, drama, romance. » definitely one of the funnest and sweetest drama i watched last year and suzuki airi (female lead) it's just such soo good, love her acting! she's also the lead in the drama animals i previously mentioned! pure rom-com with great chemistry!! ✨

— Kieta Hatsukoi (2021) | episodes: 10. genres: comedy, romance, youth. » high school setting with romance/friendship being the focus!! all the characters are so likable and it was such a cute and fun watch!!

— Ore no Kawaii wa Mousugu Shohikigen!? (2022) | episodes: 09. genres: comedy, romance. » easy fun and cute watch with great leads!!

dramas with all other kinds of genres (w hints of romance) ✨

— Bishoku Tantei Akechi Goro (2020) | episodes: 09. genres: comedy, food, mystery, thriller. » ooh i was obsessed w the leads of this one as well LOL. idk i really had so much fun watching this one and i loved main female lead a lot. 😭 also it had some really funny moments 😭

— Toki wo Kakeru Bando (2020) | episodes: 10. genres: comedy, music, romance, sci-fi » #wasnt expecting any crying to happen going into this drama 😩 #miura shohei's performance though?? AMAZING #he had me in tears every time #ryo i love u #not that it's similar but this reminds me of itsuka nemuri ni tsuku hi 🤧 | tags from a post i posted when i watched yeah 😂

— Dr. White (2022) | episodes: 10 (+ 1 special). genres: comedy, drama, medical, mystery. » also another favorite from my five favorite dramas watched in 2022! even though it wasn't finished being subbed until last year i still very much enjoyed what eps i watched back then! like i really looked forward to every episode and soo grateful the subber decided to finish it and subbed the special as well! i might be bias because i love hamabe minami who's the female lead (and is in two other things i mentioned above lol) but all the characters are v likable and they all have great chemistry together! plus i enjoyed the v subtle hint of romance between the two mains like it isn't really there but it is and i was quite satisfied with the ending. 🫶

— Ryosangata Riko: Puramo Joshi no Jinsei Kumitate Ki (2022) | episodes: 10. genres: business, drama, life. » i adore the lead so much, she's the cutest! i find this one to be such a fun and relaxing watch! and there's a cute little hint of romance which was soo good to me and wish we got more of them. 😭 there's also a second season: Ryosangata Riko: Mou Hitori no Puramo Joshi no Jinsei Kumitate ki / with same cast members but set in a new universe that just aired last year!

— Okaeri Mone (2021) | episodes: 120. genres: life, drama, romance. » the number of episodes might scare you but this drama is an asadora (morning drama) which is only 15 minutes per episode! so if you're looking for a longer watch about life with a bit of romance i 10/10 recommend checking it out!! yes hello i always miss them 😭

what i'm currently watching ☕️

— Uchi no Bengoshi wa Te ga Kakaru (2023)| episodes: 11. genres: comedy, law, mystery. » i totally have a thing for law and mystery dramas lol. but i've been enjoying this one a lot and recommend if you want something fun but somewhat serious to watch! and if you just like law dramas like mee 😂

— Nanyobi ni Umareta no (2023) | episodes: 09. genres: drama » this one is keeping me really interested and is definitely a type of drama i haven't really watched much of?? it's engaging, surprising and the actors are great! i feel like most dramas i mentioned are easy going ones to watch besides a few so this one is the latter!

+ special mention if you wanted to watch something base on an manga w anime-like feel ❈

— Kishibe Rohan wa Ugokanai (2020 - 2022) | seasons: 03, episodes: 03, 03, 02. + a movie Rohan au Louvre (2023) genres: horror, fantasy, mystery, thriller, supernatural. » i had been watching since the first one came out in 2020 and i didn't think we would be getting a season every year since and then even a movie! definitely check out if you're in the mood for creepy mystery with pleasing visuals + great outfits!

yeaaah that's it from me! ✌️ i feel like this isn't much of a starter pack-friendly list since it's kind of all over the place sorry 😭 but hope even just one peaks your interest!!

#ask #anonymous #jdrama #drama recs #jdrama recs #e.txt

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