#to be clear this is just an observation and not meant to be a criticism of her

[fruit-sy]

My personal thoughts on the major themes of Penacony 2.2

I was gonna make an entire Penacony retrospective and try to really dig into the whole story, but 1. I'm not that smart and 2. It has hours of footage and I don't think I'm strong enough to parse through that and form my own conclusions

so, just the things that really jumped at me and made me pause to think. I may do surface level research to make sure if a character really said this or that, but other than that, these are my thoughts fresh after finishing the quest.

Ok, to start off: Sunday and the road to hell

He's... god, he's such a complicated and interesting little man.

He is what I would call the embodiment of the saying "the road to hell is paved with good intentions". On the surface, he is trying to make a universe which is authoritarian-like. If you peel it back a bit more, he intends to make the universe a better place. But at the heart of it, I think he's just someone who is scared of pain.

There are 3 sequences I want to break down:

The Robin-Sunday exchanges before they meet Gopher Wood

This exchange has a lot of Sunday misdirecting Robin's points, but she calls out most of it.

Robin starts off with observing the dreamscape and concludes that dreamchasers shouldn't use penacony as a means of escaping entirely from reality. Because they won't overcome their demons. She asks if this can really count as "living"

Sunday at first seems to agree that things are not the way it should be. But there's a bit of misdirection on his part. He responded to robin's question by connecting "people using penacony as an escape" with (his opinion on) the way people currently "live" (which is what he was agreeing to in "things are not the way it should be"). He will then frame the narrative to show that people completely escaping through dreams is a good thing, and then will swerve to say how the "strong" should determine the future of the "weak".

Robin understandably does not agree with Sunday's narrative, because she believes that by staying in the dream (or MAKING dreamchasers stay in the dream), it will lock dreamchasers in stasis forever, making them unable to choose how to go about their future and overcome their difficulties. She then criticizes that no one has the right to determine whether a human deserves to live for a future or not.

There's a clear difference in ideology here. Sunday's devotion to Order is so strong because the experiences in his life had led him to believe that forcing his will on other people is the way to go. His ideology is rigid, cold, impersonal and is applied to all uniformly.

Robin firmly believes in choice and refuses to let an authority govern the way people should live. She wishes to unite people through her singing, and to inspire people to live. Her ideology is more personal, uniquely applied, and is idealistic and romantic.

2. The quiz sequence

An interesting thing about this sequence is the first two questions have quite reasonable answers. At the start of it, at least.

The first question is about nurturing and letting go. I think why most of the girls agreed to put the bird in a cage is because to do something great, you must first be equipped to survive. Maslow's bottom hierarchy, if you will. i think Sunday realizes this too, and puts it into some of his points to justify making decisions on behalf of other people.

"We must teach the weak how to live a happy life"

Though, the problem is that he twists this point so much and wants to force this on everyone. This is seen when he puts everyone on Penacony in Ena's dream. This disregard for other people's input kinda reflects how he sees the bird, in a way. The bird is something below Sunday, it cannot object his actions because it is merely just a weak, injured little thing.

It is here that he experienced pain of futility. The pain of putting in effort into something but have it crash and burn in the end no matter what. Afraid of that pain, he wonders if birds are meant for the sky if some fall before they can reach it. He has a very black and white mindset about this.

Either all birds fly and deserve the sky, or if even one bird falls then no birds deserve the sky.

The second question is about a person who is being pursued by the bloodhounds. Sunday is in a position of power, and has the influence to pardon the man. As a result, the man got away, forgot about his children, and hurt the people working under him in penacony.

Though, it's worth to mention that I think it's also partly the fault of the Oak family, who didn't try to discourage dreamchasers trying to find answers or solve their personal problems in Penacony. But I believe that's intentional.

Anyways, the crux of the question, if Sunday had known the outcome of his decision from the start and he had the foresight to think that Penacony isn't a place to search for answers, I actually think upholding the law would be the best course of action here.

I think this is where he developped his fear of... consequence. Because humanity has free will, they may use his pardon from the law to do awful things. This might be why he values upholding the law so much.

Another thing to note, I think Sunday hasn't gone off too far into the deep end at this point of his life. In a previous sequence with the same scenario, he actually questions what devotion to the Order would be like, and his doubts on its way of life.

"Who can judge the strong when their power hides their crimes?"

"Who can vouch for the weak when they will pay any price to survive?"

"Who can comfort the purest souls when even they get led astray?"

It's important to note that Sunday is in a position of power and emphasizes knowing the outcome of the first two questions.

The third question is the only question where he and the other party were of near equal standing. It's where he still hasn't made a decision, and which the outcome has not yet been decided.

Sunday cares about Robin's input and feelings. He cares so much he doesn't have it in him to force her to stay for the Order.

I think this is the crack in his belief of the Order. Because he cannot stop her from trying to fly. Because he cannot apply his law indiscriminately. Because it's Robin. His sister.

He has not made a choice, and Robin has not met her end yet like he's feared.

But he's so afraid of the pain of losing her. He's so afraid it haunts him in his nightmares.

After presenting the quiz, he essentially asks the main question of penacony: "Why does life slumber?"

He answers, "Because we are afraid to awaken from our dreams."

Interestingly, this is identical to Firefly's conclusion in 2.0. The difference is, Sunday thinks his answer is universal and will force his solution on everyone, while Firefly's is just her own personal answer.

Firefly asks what the price for Sunday's paradise is, and that made me stand up and point at the screen in agreement. Because what Sunday's aiming for is an authoritarian universe.

When an authority reigns supreme that it forces its will onto unwilling citizens, all in the name of the ideal society. That's a dystopia.

As Sunday said before, who will keep the authority in check? Who can ensure that the authority will not abuse their power?

That's what's so dangerous about an authoritarian government. You can't take the risk when it comes to this. You can't just give the power to one person, no matter how righteous or nice they seem. Because like the saying goes, give them an inch and they will take a mile. You cannot afford to cross the line, because when you do, who knows how far they'll take it.

Sunday clearly sees Firefly as someone weak, kind of akin to the bird in his childhood who needs his "saving". But Firefly does not appreciate someone deciding on her behalf whether she's weak or needs saving.

3. Ode to Order

I think it's important to note Sunday really frames Ode to Order in this angelic and holy way. Hell, the music even reflects this with a more bright and heavenly choir.

"Requiem aeternam" is a prayer for souls to reach heaven, eternal rest.

(A bit of a tangent, but when I saw this in the game I SHIVERED so hard. This is such creative story telling aughh- Like, using previously established game mechanics and twisting them to become something horrifying is SO COOL. What a delightfully terrifying way to illustrate what Sunday aims to achieve.)

This illustrates Sunday's paradise as a place where everyone is forcefully "tuned" to become a certain way forever. To be manipulated with Ena's strings without their consent like puppets into a picture perfect scene.

Though, I was confused why Sunday framed this ideal society as people abandoning the need for an authority, when it was something he was pushing so hard in previous sequences.

But my interpretation is that he will spread this message, of everyone being of equal standing, but leave himself as the true leader that will stay awake to ensure everyone else is blissfully asleep.

This really ties everything together for me. Sunday is someone so self righteous but self sacrificial that he's willing to put himself high in the sky, and be aware that he will be completely alone up there.

He is afraid of pain, and will do everything to avoid experiencing it ever again.

After experiencing pain, we shouldn't be scared of it. Sure, we can escape a bit to get some reprieve, but we must tend to our wounds so that we may not only survive, but live.

That brings me to the second major theme of Penacony : Nihility, and the feeling of futility

I will be breaking down Acheron's character first.

Self annihilators/Nihility emanators are so interesting, they are beings that slowly are losing themselves thanks to their own powers of Nihility. A predetermined end.

Living for so long + Nihility actively chipping away at her being is sure to make her memories blend in together. This is why Acheron values emotions so much, because it is one of the only anchors she can use to avoid succumbing to Nihility.

Her flashbacks with Tiernan are beautifully melancholic. Their exchange starts with Acheron pondering if the task Tiernan is doing is pointless, and if he should even bother? And if the end is expected, then should they change it? It's a bit muddy, but I interpret that here, Acheron is still searching for the meaning of Nihility, and Tiernan is the person who guides the souls to the other side of the river at that time.

In the next scene, Acheron states she's holding on to whatever she can to avoid succumbing to Nihility. She had journeyed with a Nameless girl once, who wanted to explore IX. But as expected, the girl ceased to be, but left with a smile. Acheron is scared of forgetting her memories with that girl.

The only other anchor she knows is of her promise to bring more warmth to other people, to a more hopeful future where she will cut off Nihility. She associates that promise and hope with the color of red.

The next scene mirrors the first scene. I interpret it as Acheron having found the meaning of Nihility, sorta embracing it, and is now guiding others to advance towards and depart the Nihility, with Tiernan having forgotten himself.

When Tiernan asks if what Acheron does is pointless, she gave the same answer Tiernan gave her, because some things have to be done. And she's come this far without needing a point, so why should she search for one?

"May death be the end of your boundless dream... guiding you back to the waking world."

I still cannot decipher the meaning of this statement completely. As far as I know, it's said 2 times. The first is after Firefly "died", and the second is in the above exchange with Tiernan.

In Firefly's case, perhaps the "death" refers to waking up from Ena's dream at the beginning, "boundless dream" is Ena's dream, and "the waking world" is Dreamflux Reef/reality.

In Tiernan's case, I can assume the "boundless dream" is his eternal unrest, as he's still lingering in the dead sea, not yet ready to enter the abyss of Nihility. The "death" may be referring to him entering the abyss, while the "waking world" is existence, as he finds his way out of Nihility.

To bring this all together, I think Acheron in this case represents and goes against Nihility. She presents Nihility as something inevitable and predetermined (death), something that awaits everyone, and something that everyone will have to embrace at some point of their lifespan (boundless dream).

But she also believes that one shouldn't wholeheartedly embrace Nihility. in the face of Nihility, we must do everything to take in the world around us and remember what makes us exist. She believes there is a way out of Nihility, and that is existence. (waking world)

In the face of futility, if everything really did have a predetermined end, I believe we should still try to make choices. Despite it being "pointless", I think that's what gives meaning to our existence. Otherwise, we risk succumbing to Nihility.

That's why when the trailblazer finally uttered their own choices, I felt shivers. One, because this shows the development of TB's character, and two because TB will do what they have to, they will never be content living in a dream, and they choose to continue in the face of "futility", despite the ending of their journey being predetermined.

In the face of futility, Sunday chooses to eliminate pain and choice out of the equation, only choosing to create a universe that's stuck in a mindless, blissful stasis. Because he is anticipating pain.

But sometimes, the anticipation is worse than the actual pain itself. He is also eliminating the element of choice, with the assumption that people will not be able to survive when they are facing futility.

But, Acheron's words really struck me.

In the face of futility, pain, and pressure humans may freeze in fear. But that innate survival instinct in humans might push them to fight and claw themselves out to save themselves. By removing the choice to fight for their lives, they won't have the choice to fight off Nihility.

To end this, I would like to go back to main question of Penacony

"Why does life slumber?"

And I think TB answers this beautifully.

"Because we will wake from our dreams."

Life slumbers to find reprieve from the harsh reality. But slumbering does not give us the solution to our problems, only recharging us to prepare for the waking world once more. And in the waking world, even if what we do is futile, we still have a choice in how we want to reach for the end.

#Fruit talks #Holy shit this is probably tangent-y and disorganized as hell but here's my insane ramblings for the month #Idk if this made sense but these are the things that made me feel strongly in 2.2 #I may have missed some points but feel free to shout at me in the comments or reblogs

[allegedlyrainy]

I don’t think I’ve seen anyone mention this yet but I feel like these scenes are an interesting parallel between Kazuki and Misaki with Miri?

Something about the way Kazuki doesn’t let her see that he’s sad because his focus is on making sure that she’s happy and the shot specifically focuses on her face and reaction

while Misaki is caught up in how she feels and she ends up being comforted by Miri. We can see Misaki visibly crying while Miri’s face is initially hidden from view.  

#buddy daddies #buddy daddies spoilers #miri unasaka #kazuki kurusu #misaki unasaka #idk I'm still processing ep11 but I couldn't stop thinking about this one bit #to be clear this is just an observation and not meant to be a criticism of her #well not entirely anyway. I do think she was really trying to change for Miri's sake #but even when she's trying to be a good mother to Miri it's like you can still see the ways she centers herself in their dynamic? #I feel like the line 'I'm going to be a mother you love' says a lot for that too #there's really a lot to look at and think about Misaki despite how little she was around #she didn't deserve the death she got and maybe she COULD have changed if she'd had more time with Miri #but alas we'll never know because it isn't the way this story was meant to go

[rebeccathenaturalist]

An App Does Not a Master Naturalist Make

Originally posted on my website at https://rebeccalexa.com/app-not-master-naturalist/ - I had written this as an op-ed and sent it to WaPo, but they had no interest, so you get to read it here instead!

I have mixed feelings about Michael Coren’s April 25 Washington Post article, “These 4 free apps can help you identify every flower, plant and tree around you.” His ebullience at exploring some of the diverse ecological community around him made me grin, because I know exactly what it feels like. There’s nothing like that sense of wonder and belonging when you go outside and are surrounded by neighbors of many species, instead of a monotonous wall of green, and that is a big part of what led me to become a Master Naturalist.

When I moved from the Midwest to the Pacific Northwest in 2006, I felt lost because I didn’t recognize many of the animals or plants in my new home. So I set about systematically learning every species that crossed my path. Later, I began teaching community-level classes on nature identification to help other people learn skills and tools for exploring their local flora, fauna, and fungi.

Threeleaf foamflower (Tiarella trifoliata)

Let me be clear: I love apps. I use Merlin routinely to identify unknown bird songs, and iNaturalist is my absolute favorite ID app, period. But these tools are not 100% flawless.

For one thing, they’re only as good as the data you provide them. iNaturalist’s algorithms, for example, rely on a combination of photos (visual data), date and time (seasonal data), and GPS coordinates (location data) to make initial identification suggestions. These algorithms sift through the 135-million-plus observations uploaded to date, finding observations that have similar visual, seasonal, and location data to yours.

There have been many times over the years where iNaturalist isn’t so sure. Take this photo of a rather nondescript clump of grass. Without seed heads to provide extra clues, the algorithms offer an unrelated assortment of species, with only one grass. I’ve gotten that “We’re not confident enough to make a recommendation” message countless times over my years of using the app, often suggesting species that are clearly not what I’m looking at in real life.

Because iNaturalist usually offers up multiple options, you have to decide which one is the best fit. Sometimes it’s the first species listed, but sometimes it’s not. This becomes trickier if all the species that are suggested look alike. Tree-of-Heaven (Ailanthus altissima), smooth sumac (Rhus glabra) and eastern black walnut (Juglans nigra) all have pinnately compound, lanceolate leaves, and young plants of these three species can appear quite similar. If all you know how to do is point and click your phone’s camera, you aren’t going to be able to confidently choose which of the three plants is the right one.

Coren correctly points out that both iNaturalist and Pl@ntNet do offer more information on suggested species—if people are willing to take the time to look. Too many assume ID apps will give an easy, instant answer. In watching my students use the app in person almost everyone just picks the first species in the list. It’s not until I demonstrate how to access the additional content for each species offered that anyone thinks to question the algorithms’ suggestions.

While iNaturalist is one of the tools I incorporate into my classes, I emphasize that apps in general are not to be used alone, but in conjunction with field guides, websites, and other resources. Nature identification, even on a casual level, requires critical thinking and observation skills if you want to make sure you’re correct. Coren’s assertion that you only need a few apps demonstrates a misunderstanding of a skill that takes time and practice to develop properly—and accurately.

Speaking of oversimplification, apps are not a Master Naturalist in your pocket, and that statement —while meant as a compliment–does a disservice to the thousands of Master Naturalists across the country. While the training curricula vary from state to state, they are generally based in learning how organisms interact within habitats and ecosystems, often drawing on a synthesis of biology, geology, hydrology, climatology, and other natural sciences. A Master Naturalist could tell you not only what species you’re looking at, but how it fits into this ecosystem, how its adaptations are different from a related species in another ecoregion, and so forth.

Map showing Level III and IV ecoregions of Oregon, the basis of my training as an Oregon Master Naturalist.

In spite of my criticisms, I do think that Coren was absolutely onto something when he described the effects of using the apps. Seeing the landscape around you turn from a green background to a vibrant community of living beings makes going outside a more exciting, personal experience. I and my fellow nature nerds share an intense curiosity about the world around us. And that passion, more than any app or other tool, is fundamental to becoming a citizen naturalist, Master or otherwise.

Did you enjoy this post? Consider taking one of my online foraging and natural history classes or hiring me for a guided nature tour, checking out my other articles, or picking up a paperback or ebook I’ve written! You can even buy me a coffee here!

#iNaturalist #plant apps #Seek #Merlin #nature #wildlife #plant identification #apps #botany #biology #science #scicomm #science communication #Google Lens #naturalist #Master Naturalist #conservation #environment

[brotheramberland]

Hello I was wondering if you could do a platonic relationship with Zuko Levi Kakashi , Gojo with their child that’s like a totally a daddy’s kid(?😭) that wants be like them when they grow up and just looks up to them so much and just mimic the things they do and just follows them+how would they feel about it 🥹🫶

Anime characters as fathers with a child!reader.

Characters include: Zuko, Kakashi Hatake, Levi Ackerman, and Satoru Gojo.

Summary: The character's reaction to their child who looks up to them and aspires to be exactly like them.

Please keep in mind: All character and reader interactions are purely platonic. There is NO romance. The reader is somewhere below the age of twelve and is portrayed as non-binary. These drabbles are meant to be platonic, fluffy and comforting.

Notes: For @bellhella. Hi las, I hope you're doing grand. Cute request too, I enjoyed writing it. I added a tiny splash of angst but everything is still pretty fluffy. I try to make each individual drabble unique and different so that viewers can experience a variety of emotions. I hope that's alright. Remember to keep your head up, stay safe and stay awesome!

✿ೋ──────────────────────

Fire Lord Zuko

Ever since you were an infant, you had always clung to him and taken after him, claiming that you wanted to be just like him when you grew up. It was an attitude that Zuko found endearing and it made him beam with pride. After all of his past mistakes, a part of him was against your aspirations, but he wouldn't let his own insecurities get in the way of your dreams.

At a surprisingly young age- barely over your toddler years- you had requested to train. And train you did. Constantly you were trying your hardest to learn new maneuvers, techniques and skills. When you mastered something, you always sought his approval and praise. Zuko was impressed by how well you accepted constructive criticism and fought to grow.

During meetings or speeches, you would always sit back quietly and observe him. Then later Zuko would have to clear out rooms so that you could pretend like you were the fire lord giving hundreds of people a big, inspirational speech. Just like him.

Zuko, to say the least, was extremely proud of how you were growing and exceeding in life. He was just as attached to you as you were to him, and he would do anything to help you grow up to be healthier, happier and safer than he ever got to be during his childhood.

Today you had been training outside. Your father had been teaching you how to spit fire by using the strength of your stomach. Despite how strict and serious he could be, Zuko loved how you displayed your own ways of having fun. You say you want to be just like him, but you were also just so unmistakably 'you' and he loved that.

But today you did something that he didn't quite like.

"Daddy," You turned towards your father on the bench you were sitting on, "Will you... Will you burn my eye? The left one."

And the way your question made Zuko feel on the inside was far more painful than any lightning strike could ever be. He dropped his goblet and froze, unable to believe that you could ask such a thing. You wanted him to 'burn' you? Burn you in such a way similar to how he had been burned?

"Dad?" You asked in light concern.

Zuko shot up, his hair swishing as he went to stand in front of you, "You- don't you dare ask for something like that ever again. Do you hear me?"

Flinching, you gape and stutter in fear at his sudden outburst of anger, "I..." You didn't know what to say, "I-I'm sorry, I... I just wanted to be like you-"

"By wanting me to burn you? That's how you justify yourself right now? Nonsense. I will not tolerate this irrational behavior. If you ever ask me or anyone else to burn you again, then I swear on my life you will regret it, do you understand me?"

You couldn't believe he was so angry. You stiffened up, tears pouring out your eyes.

Zuko nearly shouted, his arms shaking, "I said 'do you understand me'?"

"Yes," You cried, burying your face in your hands, "I'm sorry, ok. I'm sorry. Please don't be mad, daddy, please-uhh... I'm sorry."

Breathing fast, Zuko stared at you and felt a sudden cloud of guilt envelope him, and he frowned in regret. He didn't mean to be so harsh, nor did he want you to cry. He just... He just couldn't stand the thought of you suffering in any of the ways he himself had to.

Calming down, Zuko took in a deep breath and went to kneel in front of you. He reached out, grabbed your hands and gently coaxed them away from your face, "I'm sorry."

Using a spare handkerchief, Zuko gently cleaned your teary eyes and running nose, "I didn't mean to get so angry with you. I was just... You have to understand, (y/n), not all parts of me are honorable, and that includes this mark. My father gave me this mark because he despised me, and... Well... I don't despise you, so even if I did burn you it wouldn't be the same. It would never be the same."

Zuko cupped your face and stroked his thumb over your left cheek, "Please know that I am grateful that we are not the same in this way, and I hope that we never will be."

"I'm sorry..." You croak, still ashamed of yourself, "I didn't know."

"It's okay," Zuko lifted his arms out, "It's okay. I'm not angry."

Standing up, you go to bury yourself into the divine safety of your father's arms, sadness still beating within your heart, "I love you, daddy."

Zuko smiled and hugged you close, "I love you too, (y/n), and I can't wait to see what an excellent fire lord you're going to become one day. Even greater than me."

You whimpered, still upset but lifted by his faith and understanding. You had made a mistake today, but it was okay. You would never do it again. And while you would like to be just like your father in every way that counts, there were some things that could never be the same no matter how similar the situation.

✿ೋ─────────

Levi Ackerman

He woke up to the obnoxious sensation of someone's hand shaking his shoulder, and he groaned grumpily in irritation. "Wake up, daddy," Your ridiculously energetic voice called, "Daddy, come on, it's time to get up."

Levi creaked open his eyes and glared at you, "Hey, wanna know how you can be just like me?"

"How?" You instantly beamed.

"By being tired and going back to sleep," Levi grumbled, grabbing the blankets and yanking them up over his head.

You weren't having any of it though, and you crawled on top of him and began wrestling to get the blanket off. Technically this was how Levi used to have to get you out of bed when you were smaller, but the more you grew the more you wanted to be 'just like him'.

Yay...

By the time you both had playfully wrestled each other out of bed, Levi yawned multiple times while being drug to the bathroom. Darn thing, you were getting good at locating his ticklish spots... In the bathroom, you both brushed your teeth, washed your faces and combed your messy hair.

Although half asleep, Levi still adored how you continously glanced at him to see how he was dressed, what he was doing and how he was doing it. You were always mimicking silly little things he did, exclaiming that you were practicing to be just like him.

Deep down, Levi had nothing but adoration for you. He loved the way you stood to be like him. It made him feel a sense of pride inside that he had such a strong, brave, loyal pipsqueak for a child, and you had no idea how much he loved you.

The only thing Levi disliked about you aspiring to him was how you ranted about joining the Survey Corps and going over the wall to fight titans. Now that... That made his overprotective, paternal instincts scream in disagreement. In no way did he want you going anywhere near the wall. So many people died out there all the time. If he lost you?

Levi wouldn't be able to handle it.

Before breakfast, you got dressed in nearly the exact same outfit as him (courtesy of Hange). "Daddy, can I wear your cape-thingy?" You asked, already wrapped up in his cape.

"Well what do you expect me to wear?" Levi asked, soaking in the endearing display of you all twisted up in his cape.

"I don't know..." You mumble innocently, smiling, "A blanky?"

"Ha... ha... Very funny, squirt," Levi bent down to untangle you from his cape, bopping you on the nose and pinching your cheek, "Why don't I wear this and 'you' go wear the blanket."

"Mmm..." You pouted at him, "But daddy..."

Levi hid a smile and patted your head fondly, "What if I told you that I used to do the same thing when I was your age?"

"Really?" You asked in surprise. If he wore blankets when he was your age, then that meant that you could do the same thing- follow in his footsteps, "Yay!"

"I never said 'yay' though," Levi rolled his eyes, teasing you.

Your arms dropped as you sneered at him, reacting in a manner he would approve of, "Booo..."

"That's more like it," Levi chuckled and went to make some food.

After breakfast, you held your father's hand while walking to the training grounds, a small blanket secured around your neck to thus act like a cape. When you saw the leader of the Survey Corps, you instantly brightened and cheered, "Erwin!"

Erwin looked in your direction and smiled warmly, "Ah, there's my finest cadet."

Levi watched as you sprinted happily up to his leader, his heart skipping beats when Erwin picked you up and lifted you into the air a bit. Your smile and the sound of your laughter was the inspirational fuel that powered his life.

Blindly joining you and his leader, Levi shrugged and gave you a disapproving look, "Just so you know... I've never hugged that imbecile- not once."

Erwin raised a brow, "On the contrary, I remember once when-"

Levi gave him a death glare, "Dont. Even."

You giggled and said joyfully, "Daddys silly. He loves hugs."

"Yes, that is correct," Erwin chuckled and turned briefly to grab something out of the satchel on his horse. "Come, fellow cadet, I brought you something."

"What is it?" You asked.

Levi felt his chest nearly implode at the sight of a miniature cape. The cape itself was plain with no logo, but yet was perfect enough in size that it would fit you for years to come. He watched as Erwin helped replace the blanket you were wearing with it.

Once he was done, you hugged Erwin, thanked him a dozen times, and then ran over to your father, "Daddy, daddy look! I have a cape, an-and it's just like the one you have. Do you like it, daddy? Do I look like you?"

'The spitting image.' Levi smirked and knelt down, "What're you talking about, squirt? You've got way too much energy to be like me."

"Booo," You pouted at him.

Levi laughed and pulled you into a big hug, "It looks good on you, kid. Now, let's get training."

You would be like him one day. Only Levi believed that you would be better.

✿ೋ─────────

Kakashi Hatake

It was night time; five hours after the Chunin Exams were declared over. You were currently hiding in your little tree-bungalow, isolated, quiet and shut-off from the rest of the world. Ever since you lost the exam, you hadn't moved from your hidey-hole nor spoken to anyone.

It broke Kakashi's heart to see you this upset. He knew how hard you had been training to keep up with him, following him in his footsteps and mimicking specific personality traits like his attire and the way he fought. At first it was a habit Kakashi thought was pretty adorable, but as the seriousness of your obsession grew over the years, the more he began to grow concerned.

Kakashi didn't mind you taking after him, but there was a limit. You didn't understand it because you envied him too much, but he saw it. You weren't like him- at least not when it came down to your fighting spirit. See, Kakashi developed a cold heart at a young age. Anger, hatred and determination pushed him to become stronger.

But you weren't cursed with anger, hate and sadness. You weren't a natural born fighter. If anything, Kakashi could see you becoming a strong-willed medic or a superior ginjutsu artist, but definitely not anyone who wants to hurt another person physically. It just wasn't how you were. And Kakashi was grateful for that.

Sighing softly, Kakashi jumped up to the ledge of your tree-bungalow, crouching as he waved, "Hey, dongo."

You didn't say anything from where you laid on the wooden floor. Kakashi frowned at the sight of your multiple bruises and bloody bandages. He really shouldn't have let you take that exam. "Can I come in?"

You nodded.

Kakashi moved a ways in further, finding himself a spot against the wall and leaning against it, "How are you feeling?"

For a few seconds you didn't answer. Kakashi tilted his head in concern when he noticed that you were shaking, the sound of sniffles soon filling the air, "I... I... I'm a failure, daddy."

You looked at him, your mask a mess as you sobbed behind it, "I'm a failure-uh! I-I-I just wanted-uh- t-to be like you..."

"Whoa, hey, it's okay," Kakashi leaned forward, placed a hand on your shoulder and squeezed softly, "It's okay, (y/n). You're not a failure."

"Yes I am," You whined, "You passed the Chunin Exams when 'you' were six, b-but I? I... How am I supposed to be like you now, daddy?"

This? This is what broke Kakashi's heart. You getting upset all because you failed to amount to a broken monster like him. "Oh, dongo, come here," Kakashi lifted his arms out.

You still cried as you crawled into your father's lap and leaned against the warmth and safety of his chest. He slipped a finger up and tugged your mask down to your chin thus making it easier to breathe. You whimpered, clinging to him as shame blurred your heart.

"I wanna talk to you about something," Kakashi held you securely while going to wipe your nose with his sleeve, "I understand why you're trying so hard to follow in my footsteps, but I believe that your ambitions are misguided."

"What... What do you mean?" You ask him sadly, confused, "I wanna be like you."

"I know, but perhaps you are trying a little too hard? I mean, you've even gotten to the point you won't eat the food 'you' love anymore all because it's not my preference."

"But... That's how I be like you, daddy," You exclaim.

Kakashi sighed, looking you in your big, teary eyes. He couldn't believe that it had come down to this, but he couldn't hold it in any longer, "(y/n)... I don't want you to be like me. I want you to be like you."

You jerked at that, gaping hurtfully, "What?"

"I know it sounds harsh, but I want you to know that what I'm saying to you right now is in no way meant to hurt you. I just want you to stop pushing yourself so hard to be something you're not. Yes, we are alike in many ways, but we're also different. And those differences are what make us unique- they define who we are and how we grow. And if you continue to grow ignoring all those important things about yourself, pretending to be something you're not, then I fear that you'll never be completely happy. "

You blinked at him, fiddling slowly with your hands and bowing your head, "I..."

Kakashi cupped your face, lifted your chin and wiped away your tears, "You failed the exams today because you weren't ready, (y/n). You're using fighting techniques that don't suit you because they're 'mine'. You haven't even tried to discover your own fighting skills yet. Haven't you ever been curious?"

"But..." More tears began leaking out of your eyes as you looked at him, "I-I love you so much and I... I wanna be just like you-huh."

"(y/n)," Kakashi said lovingly as he pressed your foreheads together, "You can still be just like me by doing the things that make 'you' happy. I'm a great ninja, and you can be one too if you simply try to be more like you instead of me. No matter what, just know that I'll always, always be proud of you and love you till the day my chakra runs out."

You sniffed at him, still upset by your failure but relieved that your father still loved you despite it all. Yes, you wanted to be just like him, but maybe being yourself sometimes too wasn't such a bad thing either.

✿ೋ─────────

Satoru Gojo

When people looked at you, they felt as if they were looking at a miniature Gojo but with a different hair color. You were quite literally the spitting image of your father, and anyone who knew you or Gojo personally would know that you two were practical besties.

Ever since you were born, you magically seemed to take after Gojo- not that it was your fault because Gojo had a really bad habit of dressing you up like him and pretending that you were the world's greatest sorcerer... Besides him, of course. He couldn't help it. You were his little pal and he loved you more than anything.

As you grew, you pretty much wore identical outfits to that of your father. You had even acquired a pair of reflective sunglasses that you wore almost ninety-percent of the time. But outfits weren't the only areas where you excelled in being like him.

Gojo, even as a parent, wasn't afraid to push people to their limits, especially when they genuinely wanted to become stronger. Ever since your powers developed, he had trained you constantly in order to help you learn and grow. You were exceptional like him, and he knew that there was no time to waste.

Your father pretty much took you everywhere and that even included trips on his most dangerous missions. He would carry you on his hip or back while you watched and listened to him explain how to observe and take down enemies. Later he would quiz you, tossing toys or pieces of candy at you in reward.

Some say that Gojo wasn't so much a father to you as he was a best friend. Especially on days when he didn't have to work or train. He happily expressed his childish side, playing games with you, playing dress-up, going to carnivals, riding on miniature scooters, cooking or coloring pictures. He did it all. It was almost as if he loved being like you as much as you loved being like him.

Every time you expressed your admiration and love for him, Gojo's ego was stroked and his confidence boosted. Of course you wanted to be like him. Why wouldn't you? Narcissistic nature aside, Gojo had to admit that there was a sense of self-worth that he felt deep inside at the fact that you loved him and took after him so strongly. It made him happy. He was always proud of you.

And today he was even more proud of you.

You had just successfully made your very first domain expansion- it was rough, unstable and destructive, and it only lasted a few tiny seconds, but it was still a success. A success... That nearly destroyed the house.

Fushiguro, his cereal now all over the floor in ruins, sat in his chair with a frustrated glare on his face, "What kind of monster have you created?"

Gojo was practically dancing like a feather in the wind, singing excitedly, "One that can make domains at (age) years old."

"Oh brother..." Fushiguro rolled his eyes, gesturing to your unconscious body, "Shouldn't you be helping them?"

"Eh?" Gojo blinked ignorantly, concern flooding his body at the sight of you laying unresponsive on the floor, "Aw, we can't be having any of that now, can we?"

Teleporting over to your body, Gojo scooped you up and took you to the medical bay. It was soon confirmed that the force of your actions had merely knocked you out and given you a bloody nose. With a good lecturing from Nanami about "being a better parent", Gojo carried you back home with an endless grin on his face.

"Daddy?" You groaned in his arms.

Gojo gave you no time to talk as he leaned down and nuzzled your cheek, singing again, "Oh my incredible, amazing, talented, devilishly striking, little sorcerer, I'm so proud of you. You did your first domain expansion. Ohhh, I could cry I'm so happy."

Albeit exhausted, you still grinned in his arms and nuzzled his cheek back. It was always a good feeling to witness your father this excited after one of your successes went through. Still though, that move had taken a lot out of you. "Sleepy."

"I bet," Gojo chuckled, maneuvering you to his hip so that he could properly make his way through the mild debris of the house, "You've rightfully earned yourself a nice bath, a delicious meal, and a warm bed."

"With the heated blanky?" You softly croak.

Gojo stuck his thumb up, "Especially with the heated blanky. You've earned it."

"Thank you, daddy," You whimpered, hugging him and pressing the side of your face against his chest. His heartbeat was fast but comforting, his figure safe, warm and protective. You were so happy that you had managed to pull off such an advanced technique.

Prepping you a bath, Gojo let you wash while he was forced to clean up your mess by the ever fussy Fushiguro- aka: the real adult of the house. After you were both done, he fed you something that would soothe your tummy, and then carried you to bed.

Wrapping you up in your heated blanket, Gojo knelt down and caressed your head, "Good job today, my little jujutsu sorcerer. You really made daddy proud."

You whimpered happily and mumbled, "I hope I can do better. I wanna be just like you one of these days."

Gojo smiled, all the love he felt for you fueling his desire to keep moving forward in this cruel world, "You already are, (y/n)... You already are."

#attack on titan #avatar the last airbender #naruto #jujutsu kaisen #zuko x reader #kakashi hatake x reader #levi ackerman x reader #gojo saturo x reader #child!reader #Platonic love only #no romantic relationships #father drabbles #fluff #comfort

[flamingpudding]

Part 13 of Ghost Kid in Gotham

>>Masterpost >>AO3

<<1 Previous Next

A/N: I got a bit too self conscious in regards to why Danny is the older twin in this story. I know it would be nice and cute for him to be the younger but when I started to work on this idea, I always saw him as the elder twin. It just kept bothering me that some wished differently and made me feel like I needed to explain my thoughts. Besides when I first thought of Danny as an assassin that couldn't kill, I also thought of Odasaku from BSD and the image just fit in my head, including the older brother energy and getting pushed over the edge when losing loved ones.

Interlude: A Brothers Protection

When they had been four Danny had quickly learned what it had meant to be an heir. Their grandfather had showered him and Dami in love and praise at first. Happy about having two heirs that would lead the league to glory. Even if only one heir was needed, having two was a blessing in his grandfather's eyes. His mother always spoke proudly of them, of how they were meant for something great. Then their training had started, and words of love and praise became criticism and pressure.

From the outside there was no difference in the pressure put on the twins. Their teachers and handlers treated them equally when they had lessons together. Both were heirs, but Danny was the primary one. So when they were separated for their training Danny knew their teachers were making differences influenced by that. At the age of five he started to egg them on, challenging them, making them more aware of him, to take the pressure off his brother. He didn't mind, because no matter how harsh they were with him, he still got to late night stargaze while cuddling his twin. Damian would indulge Danny's need to rest on him thinking Danny's stamina was not the same as his own but still pushed him away at times if he hindered his twin from drawing.

He had read about how elder brothers were supposed to protect the younger ones. When he learned about that concept he had gone to their mother asking, who was the elder and his mother had told him that he was born before his twin, which was why he was the primary heir. Yet all he cared about was that the elder twin had a responsibility towards the younger. Though even if he had been the younger one, Danny would still have found an excuse to protect Damian, this just made it easier for him to rationalize protecting his twin from the true harshness of their training.

With their growing skills, soon came the time for them to be sent on their first mission. An easy one. They were to eliminate a traitor. Someone that had joined the league for only a couple of months before deciding to quit, taking secrets with them that they weren't supposed to know.

Grandfather never liked loose ends. So they were sent out, with clear instructions. Grandfather had instructed Danny to be the one to deal the killing blow. Danny was supposed to prove his worth, for the first time their grandfather was acknowledging him as the elder twin. Words of promise were spoken to him during the briefing and when he had asked about Damian, grandfather had told him that his brother would prove his right during their next mission. For now Damian was to follow up and eliminate any third party that would prove to be a risk to the mission.

That mission was the first of many of Danny's failures.

He had critically injured the traitor but hesitated too long in dealing the killing blow. Their observer for the mission stepped in. Killing the target with a disapproving stare that made Danny wither and seek his brothers closeness. Grandfather had lectured him afterwards furious of how he as the primary heir could fail at something so simple when he had the target before him on a silver platter. A silver platter he had created with his own hands.

The image of his wheezing target, with glassy eyes, begging with fear and pleading for their life flashed before his eyes. Even without a killing blow, Danny knew he had injured them enough that they wouldn't have survived anyway if no help arrived within 15 minutes. But that was not up to league standards. Even if slim, do not leave your enemies with the slightest change of survival, his grandfather's words ringed in his ears.

They started to separate Damian from him more often then, sending Danny off to more harsh training that he had no problem completing. He had the skill but still, from there on he continued to mess up his mission in similar ways. Yet Damian was covering for Danny whenever they were sent on mission together. Danny incapacitated the target soundlessly and Dami killed them.

In a way Danny found another form of how to protect Damian like this. He couldn't kill but Damian would gain their grandfather's praise by covering for him. Danny in return would earn the punishments for failure, the lecturers and their teachers' harshness. Their displeasure would focus on him during lessons leaving his twin to learn their lessons in peace without them constantly shouting at him what to do better. Because that was directed at him, the failure they needed to correct.

Yet his twin insisted that they were meant to complete each other. Danny had the talent in incapacitating anyone no matter their size and impromptu thinking and a heart of mercy while Damian had the calculating and strategic handling with a heart steeled to kill. They were each other's missing half's his twin had told him. They were meant to work together this way, to balance each other out.

Danny loved Dami for that even more but he knew better.

When they were six Danny lost his title as heir. His grandfather had declared that Damian was the one true heir, the one meant to lead them in the future. He didn't mind that, he had expected that the moment he was unable to kill the first time. Besides even if he had the harsher lessons, Damian was still better skillswise, he truly was the better between them. His twin was of a different opinion, in the privacy of their rooms his twin kept insisting that Danny could prove their grandfather wrong. That they were meant to lead together and not alone but Danny knew better.

With the loss of his title, the scorn and mockery began from other league members more openly. The focus of his mother and grandfather turned to Damian and so did their love. Still Danny continued like before, challenging teachers and other members, drawing the focus on him despite having become the black sheep. His skills were still on par with his brother's, even if he couldn't kill and he made sure their teachers were aware. His mother was giving him knowing looks whenever she had to pull him off teachers sometimes several times a day. She knew why he continued doing that.

His twin also still adored him in a way that made Danny think that Damian might know about the way he attempted to protect the other even without the title of heir. As if Damian knew that whenever Danny learned that a teacher had been harsher on Damian than needed that Danny was the one injuring said teacher in his own lessons. That Damian knew that the exhaustion he displayed at night when they sat on the roofs to watch the stars over Nanda Parbat while Dami drew into drawing pads, was not because of a lack of stamina but the work he put into honing his skill so that they focused on the back sheep of the family and focused their scorn, jealousy and envy on him instead of Dami.

He was eight when he realized he had screwed up to much. His grandfather's words from long ago rang in his ears as he stood before his twin with drawn blades and the eyes of nearly every league member watching them, awaiting his inevitable death. This was his last act to protect his twin and fulfill the role of elder brother in the way he had read about when he had been even younger. Dami would live and that was all that had mattered to Danny.

"Is there a reason why you bring these memories to the surface, Nocturn?" A sixteen year old Danny asked frowning, watching his own memories like he was a bystander. His surroundings changed once more. Gone were the images of the memory of the last time he had protected his twin as a wide and empty space surrounded him. In the distance stars glinted, reminding him of the night sky of Nanda Parbat. An answer never came. It wouldn't matter either way. Because by the time he woke up he would have forgotten again anyway.

"If you won't answer, could you at least ask Clockwork what he was thinking by doing this?" He asked into the nothingness. Still not receiving an answer. With a sigh Danny plopped onto the ground, eyeing his surroundings as his earliest memory of Damian's and his first lesson in parkour started to form around him, coaxing a small smile from him.

Blinking into awareness Danny yawned before rolling onto his back, his eyes briefly flashed green before settling into blue. His head lay in his twin's lap as this older Dami was drawing something on a drawing pad. His head felt clearer these days but not by much. There was also the feeling like he remembered more stuff in his sleep yet whenever he woke up he felt like something was missing. There was always a headache pounding in his head making him dizzy when he tried outside of sleep. His eyes watched this older version of his twin and an image of the Dami drawing while they sat on roofs overlayed the one he was watching right there.

He chirped happily. There were still so many questions in his mind but the answers didn't matter to him anymore. Dami was alive and doing what he loved openly. Whatever happened in between his last fuzzy memory and now didn't matter. Because Danny was sure, he must have done something right in protecting Dami as the elder twin for this to be the result. Yawning, curled up more pressing his face into his twins stomach, to silence the noise in his head. His mind started to feel muddy again as he snuggled into this older and alive version of his twin brother. The extra set of instincts still screamed at him.

Blobbert and the other blob ghosts were trying to help him with that but the struggle was still there.

A small hiss escaped him as he turned his head, eyes zeroed in on the eldest that kept trying to pet him or give him sweets as bribery halted his approach. His nose scrunched up as he bared his teeth and the briber coed at him. Danny protested and he could hear his twin scowling as suddenly his senses were thrown for a ride. Danny's eyes focused on the icky one as he entered his field of vision.

The icky one was feeling more icky than before. Like the first time he had met him. Danny hissed in displeasure feeling something strange but familiar run through him. With his instincts screaming he sat up quickly before his brother could stop him and lunged as he let something else in him take over, not knowing that his eyes were glowing green.

#danny fenton #danny phantom #dpxdc #dp x dc #crossover #fanfic #dcxdp #damian wayne #ra al ghul #talia al ghul #league of assassins #de aged danny #feral danny #danny and damian are twins #clockwork #interlude part #a little backstory on how Danny grew up in the league #also a little explanation of my own thoughts #danny is the older twin #it feeds into his obssion #he had always been protective #Odasaku was my inspiration for no kill assassin Danny #Nocturne the ghost #Nocturn and Clockwork are possible working together #the plot thickens #unedited #no beta we die like danny #ghost kid in gotham

[decolonize-the-left]

Tumblr socio-political observation time

Identifying with fandoms and movements and brands to validate yourself has led to a society where your interests define you and your character instead of your character defining you and your interests and I think as a whole that's why performative activism is so rampant

(and likewise it's probably why people are so protective of the things that bring them a sense of self and why it's so important those things remain politically neutral and separate from politics but that's another post)

I dont necessarily think it's a Bad as in something that makes you evil but it is bad in that we now have a lot of people doing things in good faith that some are doing in bad faith and all these people are being painted the same because as a whole we arent critically engaging with ideas anymore

As a millennial I know am very much responsible for creating that climate. I think a lot of us grew up thinking that we could shame people into being "good" the same way that we were shamed growing up anytime we had an opinion that differed from our bigoted genx & boomer parents.

It manifested in a lot of ways but one of the prominent examples that most of us will remember is doxxing. Now I want to be clear that I never did this myself but doxxing, call out posts, block lists, etc were everywhere from I wanna say about 2007 to 2017 when I'd say it's status as a common social behavior started to be frowned upon and ineffective.

We were trying to hold people accountable with those actions.

I think that very much backfired. Bigots just got better at hiding and they learned to co-opt our language and mental health terms to gaslight us when we did call them out until those words became meaningless to use. It's simple to not appear bigoted now. Just don't share anything from known bigoted brands or companies and don't follow anyone problematic. Easy.

Cuz those define you and your character, right? Isn't that why y'all still put "supports x" as reasons for your own call-out posts? That's what validates or voids your good person card. At least, thats what everyone made it seem like a decade ago.

The millennial failure was how superficial it all was. We weren't dismantling anything. We were shaming support of x, y, & z as a way of shaming bigots and racist comments and calling them out, but we weren't actually learning to recognize or dismantle racism itself and that's how 10+ years later most of us are watching our kids deal with the same shit we did except now they're also struggling with critical thinking skills inside and outside the classroom.

I think a lot of millennials mixed up righteous anger with doing what's right. Thinking that because we were angry about bigotry and taking it out on bigots that meant we couldn't be bigots. I mean everyone is a little bigoted but not like Bigots™ are bigots, you know?

And then we refused to put ourselves under that microscope or think about that any further. We stopped thinking about a lot of things, I think. We started accepting that we would be told what was okay to believe in or say and I think a LOT of millennials esp white millenials still wait for someone else, especially a Black person to speak on something so they can see the "right" side they're supposed to take.

Someone please learn something from this. This is still very much racist and avoiding the issue is still very much enabling white supremacy.

It will only go away if it's directly addressed.

•••

So I'd like to submit a formal request to bring back one good thing from back then. White responsibility for white supremacy.

Some of us may remember some posts that said if anyone should be responsible for engaging with white supremacists and helping them break down their beliefs it'd be white ppl ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ that its dangerous work for anyone else to do (for obvious reasons) and besides that white supremacists won't listen to anyone else. And allies did.

Bring that back.

The defensive white retaliation to this idea is seen on any mutual aid post in comments like "fuck your emotional labor, I don't owe you anything" or "idgaf if youre black/disabled/gay/whatever I don't owe you shit." So for the people getting ready to type something similar in my notes: This is a white supremacist defense mechanism that reinforces BIPOC isolation through individualism without seeming malicious on the surface. We all owe each other something tho; it's how a community operates and how humanity has survived for so long. Don't fall for this line of thinking and don't bring that nonsense to me.

White supremacy won't go away on its own and white supremacists sure as hell won't go away by letting them fester behind block lists until they're old enough to run for senator so if you can handle this task then respectfully, do it.

"but white supremacists are a waste of time to talk to" yeah for those of us who they'd rather see dead.

The labor and time it takes to make a white supremacist see you as a human who says words worth listening to so that you can then have a good faith conversation about politics is not WORTH the effort and risk to safety for the people who they hate. Especially not if we're doing it and getting death threats 9x out of 10 or they just wanted us to waste our time and exhaust us out of being effective

So if you are not included in the list of people that white supremacists want dead then it is worth your time and in fact is arguably one of the most productive ways to spend your time.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk

#i had no business arguing with grown ass nazis when i was a teenager but youre gonna tell me grown women refuse cuz its bad for THEM? #we ALL owe each other something! #grown folks should be volunteering to do this so minors stop feeling like they have ro #my post #whiteness #white supremacy #allies #allyship #sociology #idk how to tag this tbh #rant #observations #colonization #bigotry #activism #millenials #boomers #gen x #gen z #gen alpha

[hopelesslygaysstuff]

pairing: wanda maximoff x fem!reader

summary: the team debriefs, wanda and y/n have a much needed talk, and then they fuck!! yayyyyy ◡̈

content warnings: fingering, cunnilingus, use of the word mommy, mention of murder

A/N: this is the final chapter of this series!! thank you for coming along with me for this story, i appreciate all the support!! <3

word count: 5.2k

Series Masterlist

The plane was silent as Fury took his place near the center of the room, turning in a slow circle as he ran a critical eye over his team. His eyes lingered on y/n, and he stared at Wanda just long enough to make the silence uncomfortable before moving on. After a few long seconds, he nodded at Steve, who leaned forward in his seat as he spoke. 

“Grant Ward has been arrested and taken to The Raft,” He began, his face seemingly made of stone as he recalled the events of the night. “We now have a copy of their entire database, which Bruce and Tony will work on once we arrive home. The virus was successful, and their entire database and communications have been wiped thanks to y/n. The U.S military is currently working on clearing the facility out, and returning the victims to their families.”

The mood of the plane dimmed slightly as they took a moment of silence, remembering the terrifying underlying operations of that facility. Wanda shifted slightly in her seat, her eyes blazing as she realized what Steve meant. Y/n squeezed her hand, and green eyes found hers as they softened slightly. 

“I know it’s upsetting, but we helped a lot of victims today. I assume you weren’t aware of what happened at that facility?” Y/n asked, sending her thoughts in Wanda’s direction. The woman’s hand gripped her tighter as she worked her jaw. 

“No, I didn’t know. I thought Grant was the only problem. It’s absolutely disgusting that someone would…” Wanda trailed off, her eyes angry once again as she took a deep breath, relaxing her grip slightly as she pushed down the waves of magic that threatened to escape her firm control. 

Y/n took a quick glance around, the entire team was focused on Steve’s detailed report of the mission. She leaned fully into Wanda’s side, taking the woman by surprise as she grabbed the woman's hand and set it around her waist. Wanda’s shaking fingers gripped the fabric of y/n’s sweater as she stared down in confusion, her previous anger dimming. 

“I’ve noticed that physical touch calms you down.” Y/n thought, leaning her head against Wanda’s shoulder gently. The fingers around her waist started tracing nonsensical patterns as she felt Wanda let out a small huff of laughter. 

“Very observant, I’m glad you paid attention to my lessons.” Wanda sent back, smiling slightly as she turned her face into y/n’s hair. Placing a gentle kiss on the top of her head, Wanda turned her attention back to the mission debrief. 

Tony had stood up at some point, and was projecting a map of the facility onto a screen. He was pointing to various exit points and listing the names of high ranking members of the facility they’d captured. As he spoke, y/n placed a gentle hand on Wanda’s thigh and started tracing her fingers lightly over the smooth fabric. They listened, Wanda slowly turning her attention to each Avenger as she observed them, and y/n spacing out as her eyes grew tired. All she wanted to do was fully lean into Wanda’s warmth, and rest her eyes. Just for a little bit. 

A small break wouldn’t hurt, right?

“Y/n.” A hand pinched her waist, and y/n shot up. With wide eyes, she looked around dazedly at her smirking team members. Fury raised his eyebrows, a slight smile pulling at the corners of his lips as he repeated his question. 

“If you could just recount what happened on your end of things, then we can all settle in for the flight home.” Fury said, and y/n flushed as her mind raced in an attempt to recall her experience. 

Clearing her throat, she relaxed back into Wanda’s side. “I managed to get Ward’s attention using some techniques I learned from my mentor,” She nodded at Wanda briefly. “He took me up to his office and then left, I assume because of something you all did?”

Tony nodded sheepishly, and Natasha patted him on the knee as he muttered something about a rocket dysfunction and fixing his suit. Y/n smiled at them, before continuing. “I managed to get a copy of the database before he came back, which is why it took a few minutes in between each flash drive. But, Wanda had ensured that his suspicions were elsewhere before he returned.” 

As she said that last part, y/n observed her team as they looked at Wanda. Most were indifferent or even impressed, but Natasha looked slightly angry as she stared at the woman. Tony just looked impressed, and he shot a crooked smile at y/n, which she returned. 

“I managed to upload the virus, and then we made it out before the database was wiped.” Y/n finished, stifling a yawn. 

Fury leaned forward in his seat, steepling his fingers as he locked eyes on Wanda. “As happy as we are to meet your mentor,” He began, and Wanda tensed. “Why exactly is she here?”

Wanda stared back, an air of indifference around her as she answered. “I did some of my own research on the facility once I learned about y/n’s mission, and upon discovering some concerning practices, I became worried about y/n’s safety. I wasn’t aware that she would have a team with her, as I wasn’t privy to the details of her mission, so I decided to come down and check up on her myself.”

“So you flew to the other side of the country, to… check on y/n?” Fury asked, mistrust shining in his eyes. 

“I’ve grown to care deeply for y/n,” Wanda said, her back straightening as she looked Fury square in the eye. “So yes, I flew across the country to ensure she was safe.”

Natasha let out a surprised huff, raising her eyebrows at y/n. Tony still looked impressed, and y/n gave them a look that said ‘we’ll talk about this later’. Wanda was still locked in a staring contest with Fury, who had narrowed his eyes suspiciously as the whole team observed with bated breath. 

“You stayed with her for the entire summer.” Fury said abruptly, turning his attention to y/n, who nodded. “Can she be trusted?” 

Y/n let her own eyes narrow, her hand tightening on Wanda’s thigh. “If I didn’t trust her, she wouldn’t be on this plane, Nick.” Tony’s jaw dropped, someone stifled a laugh, and Wanda looked over in surprise. “I trust her with my life, is that good enough for you?” Y/n practically spat out the last sentence, wanting this debrief to end as soon as possible. 

Wanda’s fingers returned to her waist, tracing soothing patterns as y/n attempted to blow Fury up with her mind. Surprisingly, it was Natasha who spoke up as she looked Wanda up and down.

“If y/n trusts her, then I see no reason to deny her clearance.” Natasha eyed Wanda, who gave her a small smile, before letting her eyes glance over at y/n. She observed the way that y/n leaned her full body weight against the woman, and the hand that was tracing soft circles on Wanda’s thigh. Natasha blinked, before smiling internally at the knowledge that y/n had finally found someone outside of the Avengers who cared about her immensely. She would still be having a chat with the woman though, she wasn’t going to let Wanda off that easily. Not after y/n had been crying for a solid week when she returned home. 

Fury nodded, clapping his hands together as he stood. He dismissed them, letting them know how pleased he was with the success of the mission, before making his way towards the front of the plane. The rest of the team started disassembling their gear, and disappearing into different rooms to change into a more comfortable outfit. Y/n simply leaned further into Wanda, who wrapped both arms around her as she buried her nose into the girl’s soft hair. 

“Sleep darling,” Wanda whispered, noticing how the girl’s eyes were closing of their own accord. Y/n tried to protest, shifting slightly in Wanda’s hold, but accidentally making herself more comfortable in the process. She gave up after a few seconds, wrapping her arms around Wanda’s waist as she rested her head against the front of her shoulder, burying her face into the woman’s neck and sighing contentedly. 

Y/n was fast asleep by the time that the rest of the team settled down, having been lulled to sleep by the rumble of the plane engine, Wanda’s warmth, and that comforting vanilla scent she’d missed. Tony still had an impressed look on his face as he appraised Wanda, before Natasha shoved him into a seat while shaking her head at his lingering stares. 

Wrapping her arms securely around y/n, Wanda made herself comfortable for the flight. She let herself relax slightly, mentally running over all the things she wanted to explain and apologize for. She took one last glance around at the rest of the Avengers, most of them already asleep, before allowing herself to close her eyes and relax fully with y/n wrapped in her arms. 

—

Y/n shouldered her small gear bag, leaning against Wanda as the team walked towards the compound. The sun was almost ready to rise, the first hints of pink peeking over the horizon. The team was silent, most of them still waking up and stretching as they shook off the jet lag. 

“I’m craving some tea.” Y/n murmured, smiling to herself when Wanda’s hand placed itself on the small of her back. Wanda hummed in response, blinking the sleep from her eyes as she took in the Avengers compound. She continued to look around as they entered the building, taking everything in with slightly widened eyes. 

Pulling Wanda towards the kitchen, y/n waved Natasha off towards the gym as Tony muttered something about sorting through the flash drive as he scurried towards his workshop. Pushing open a door, y/n led Wanda towards the modern-looking kitchen as she set her bag down on the counter. 

WIthout exchanging many words, the pair made some tea in a comfortable silence. A few rays of orange hit the counter as the sun started streaming through the large windows. As soon as the tea was made, y/n intertwined her fingers with Wanda’s and led her towards the elevators. 

Y/n watched Wanda’s fingers out of the corner of her eye as they fiddled with the mug in her hand. The woman’s green eyes were glued to the steaming liquid, and her posture was unusually tense. As soon as the elevators dinged open, y/n watched green eyes blink slowly as they stepped off and made their way towards her room. 

Pressing the door open, y/n set her bag down near her dresser before turning back towards Wanda. The woman stood near the door, her eyes eagerly taking in y/n’s room as her fingers tapped against her mug. 

“We don’t have to talk right now.” Y/n said, sitting down on the bed and placing her steaming tea on the nightstand. Wanda looked torn for a moment, before she crossed the room and sat down next to y/n. 

“No,” Wanda started, smiling softly at y/n when she met her eyes. “You deserve an explanation, and I don’t want to keep that from you any longer than I already have.”

Y/n just nodded, leaning against the headboard of her bed as she waited patiently for Wanda to begin speaking. The redhead opened her mouth, before closing it as her brows furrowed. 

“I’m trying to find the right words.” Wanda said, frustration bleeding through as she blew across the surface of her tea. Y/n reached for her own tea, sipping it as she observed Wanda. She still couldn’t quite believe that she was here, and having Wanda in her room felt sort of surreal. She watched Wanda work her jaw slightly before taking pity on her. 

Reaching out a hand, y/n tugged Wanda closer. She looked surprised, but obligingly scooted closer, her knees touching y/n’s crossed legs as she sipped her tea. Y/n’s hand moved to rest against Wanda’s thigh, and she slowly drew circles until the woman started talking. 

“I love you,” Wanda started, and y/n couldn't stop the slow smile that spread across her face. “I just… got scared.” 

A confused look came across y/n’s face. “I scared you? Or the feelings did?”

“No,” Wanda hesitated briefly, reaching down a hand to trace over y/n’s on her thigh. “I was scared that something awful would happen to you. Every person I’ve loved has been taken from me, my parents and Pietro.” 

Wanda stopped talking for a moment, before blinking away the unshed tears in her eyes as she looked y/n in the eye. “I stopped letting myself love after they died, because I was too afraid to get hurt again. But you…” Wanda squeezed y/n’s hand as she laughed slightly. “You caused me to feel more than I have in a long time. As soon as I realized I loved you, the only thing I wanted to do was protect you, to keep you safe so that I wouldn’t have to deal with heartbreak again.” 

“It was hard to say goodbye,” Wanda continued, a faraway look in her eyes. “I didn’t know how to say that I loved you when you left because the only thing I wanted to do was plead with you to stay. I felt that if I said goodbye, or told you I loved you, it would be the last time I would ever get the chance to.” She shook her head sadly, a tear slipping down her face as she brought her tea to her lips. 

Y/n set her own mug back on the nightstand as relief rushed through her. She’d been so worried that Wanda didn’t hold the same feelings as she did, but this entire time the woman had done nothing but love her. Reaching out, y/n grabbed Wanda’s mug and placed it next to hers before pulling her in for a searing kiss. 

Pulling back, y/n smiled widely as Wanda just blinked at her in shock. “So you really did fly across the country just to check on me?” 

An adorable blush made its way onto Wanda’s face as she answered, “Yes, I wanted to make sure you were alright and tell you that I loved you.” She cupped her hands around y/n’s jaw, her green eyes searching the girl’s face. “I hope I didn’t make an irreversible mistake by not giving you a proper goodbye.” 

Shaking her head, y/n pulled Wanda back for another kiss. This time, the redhead wasn’t taken off guard, and sucked y/n’s bottom lip in between her teeth as the girl leaned back. Pulling away, y/n asked one final question as Wanda’s lips chased hers. 

“Why didn't you come sooner? Or answer my texts?” 

Wanda smiled sheepishly at y/n as her thumbs ran gently over her cheeks. “I was busy murdering a coven of witches.” Y/n’s mouth fell open, and Wanda added, “Agatha sends her regards.” 

Shoving her slightly, y/n huffed. “You told me I could watch the next time you had to get rid of someone!” She crossed her arms as Wanda’s eyebrows rose in an attempt not to laugh. 

“You were a bit preoccupied, darling.” Wanda reminded her, and y/n sighed. 

“Fine, but next time you have to let me come along.” Y/n demanded, and Wanda nodded as she leaned in for another kiss. A single finger made its way to her lips, and Wanda froze in surprise. “Promise me.” 

“Promise you what?” Wanda asked, her green eyes locked on y/n’s. Swallowing harshly, y/n bit back the sudden tears that sprung into her eyes as she thought about her next words. “Promise that you’ll let me come along next time,” And shushed Wanda when she began to speak, her voice cracking. 

“Promise me that you’ll never make me feel unloved again.”

A tear slid down y/n’s face as she said the last part, and Wanda nodded quickly as she pulled y/n into a tight embrace. With her cries muffled against Wanda’s shoulder, y/n finally let out all the fears she’d had in the last week as a firm hand ran soothingly over her back. 

With her lips close to y/n’s ear, Wanda murmured her promises as she let her own tears fall. She really hadn’t meant to hurt y/n, and resolved to herself to make it up to the girl for the rest of her life, no matter how long it took. She held her close, burying her face into y/n’s hair as she soothed her, her hands rubbing circles on the girls back as her cries subsided.

Eventually, y/n’s tears stopped. She let herself linger in Wanda’s embrace, enjoying the feeling of being held. “You love me, right?”

The words were said against Wanda’s neck, and the woman shivered slightly as y/n’s lips moved against her skin. She tilted her head to place a gentle kiss on the top of her head. “I do love you, darling. I promise.”

Pulling away, y/n smiled softly at Wanda before her gaze dropped to her lips. The redhead raised an eyebrow at her, and y/n rolled her eyes before her hands wrapped around the woman’s collar and pulled her in. 

Their lips met fiercely, fighting for dominance for a brief moment before y/n surrendered and allowed Wanda to take control of the kiss. Strong hands pushed against y/n’s shoulders until she was fully on the mattress, one of Wanda’s hands snaked around to the back of her head to grip her hair. 

At a small yet urgent tug of her hair, y/n broke the kiss and allowed her head to be tilted back as Wanda trailed her wet lips down her jaw and to her neck. Placing hot, open mouthed kisses against the girl’s sensitive skin, Wanda shifted her body until one of her thighs slipped between y/n’s parted legs.  

Upon feeling the heat rising from y/n’s core, and smirking when the girl’s hips raised against her thigh, Wanda disconnected her lips from y/n’s neck. Gazing down at y/n’s desperate form, green eyes turned scarlet as Wanda’s magic twisted against her fingers. Within seconds, their clothes disappeared, and y/n groaned at the feeling of Wanda’s skin against hers. 

“God, you’re so desperate for me.” Wanda mumbled, panting at the feeling of y/n’s slick center thrusting against her thigh. One of her hands traveled across the girl’s overheated skin, teasing her until it reached the girl’s soft breasts. Her fingers expertly rolled y/n’s nipple, and Wanda leaned down to envelop the other in her mouth. 

Moaning, y/n arched her back as she pushed her chest further into Wanda’s stimulating touch. Her hand tangled in red locks of hair, while the other gripped the headboard behind her tightly. She could feel her own wetness spreading across Wanda’s thigh, but she was too far gone to care, so she rolled her hips shamelessly against the woman’s wet thigh. 

“Patience darling.” Wanda said, disconnecting her lips from y/n’s nipple after a teasing bite, causing the girl to jerk beneath her. 

“I waited for a whole week, Wanda.” Y/n said, trying not to sound too desperate. Wanda gripped her wrist when she attempted to touch the redhead, pinning her hand down as her green eyes bore into hers. 

“What do you mean by that?” Wanda asked, feeling excitement grow as she hoped y/n would say what she was thinking. Y/n struggled against her grip briefly, before giving up and staring up at Wanda with puppy eyes. 

Wanda raised a single eyebrow. Y/n rushed to answer as she remembered the question she’d just been asked. “One of your rules is that only you are allowed to touch me, so…” She trailed off, and Wanda’s eyes lit up. 

“You haven’t touched yourself at all?” She checked, and at y/n’s sheepish nod, bent down to capture the girl’s lips. She let her tongue slide against y/n’s before biting down on the girl’s bottom lip, drawing a whimper from her. “Good girl.”

A wandering hand made its way down y/n’s body, sliding easily over the girl’s damp skin until it reached the apex of her thighs. Wanda teased the soft skin of y/n’s mound, before dipping her fingers lower and moaning at the feeling of slick juices coating the girl’s inner thighs. 

A feral look made its way into Wanda’s green eyes, and in one swift movement, she thrust two fingers into y/n. The girl’s wrists flexed underneath her hand as her back arched up towards Wanda, who set a bruising pace as she twisted her fingers inside y/n’s dripping pussy. 

“Do you like that darling?” Wanda asked, and y/n moaned as white hot pleasure coursed through her. “Do you like it when mommy is rough with you?” 

Y/n’s head spun as a thick vanilla haze swept over her as Wanda’s words reached her. She tried her best to respond, fighting against Wanda’s hand on her wrists as she rolled her hips in time to the woman’s rough thrusts. 

“Answer me.”

“Yes mommy.” Y/n managed to say, her quiet words almost lost in the wet sound of Wanda’s fingers slamming into her. With each thrust, y/n was thrown further into the vanilla haze that she’d grown to crave. 

“Elaborate darling, I know you're a smart girl.” Wanda’s voice broke through the haze, and y/n managed to focus on those sparkling green eyes. Wanda’s red hair fell down around y/n’s head like a curtain, drawing all of y/n’s attention to her face. Her eyebrows were furrowed, her lips parted as she panted from the exertion of fucking her fingers into the girl below her. Y/n had never seen such a beautiful sight. 

“I like when mommy is rough with me and when mommy hurts me.” Y/n said, her voice breathy as she arched her body into Wanda’s. “Please let me come. I’ve been good, haven’t I?”

Wanda moaned at the desperation in y/n’s voice. She thought about denying the girl, the thought of edging her almost too good to pass up, but then she saw the look in y/n’s eyes. Her eyes shone up at her, little breaths leaving y/n’s lips with every thrust as her eyes locked on Wanda’s. The look of pure love in them caused Wanda to snap. 

“Come for me, darling.” She whispered, her eyes locked on y/n’s face as the girl’s hips sped up. Her face screwed up, her brows burrowing as her lips parted and her legs tensed around Wanda’s hand as the woman continued thrusting deep into her. Wanda’s thumb reached up and rubbed a few fast circles on y/n’s clit, and the girl spasmed as her orgasm washed over her. 

The vanilla haze sharpened as her body convulsed, her legs snapping tight around Wanda’s hand as she pulled her wrists roughly against the woman’s bruising grip. Her eyes screwed shut as she heard Wanda’s soothing voice telling her to breathe. The hand on her wrists disappeared, and y/n reached down to grip Wanda’s shoulders with trembling fingers.

As her body relaxed, still twitching from the aftershocks, y/n opened her eyes to find Wanda’s concerned face looking down at her. She realized that one hand was caressing her face gently, wiping away the few tears that had escaped, while the other one was still trapped between her legs. Y/n smiled softly, relaxing her legs and parting them as Wanda slowly removed her drenched fingers. Trailing them up y/n’s body, she nudged the girl’s lips until they parted and gently sucked them clean. 

Y/n moved, her own hand trailing down Wanda’s body with the intention of reciprocating, but Wanda captured the hand with her own and shook her head. “No darling, today is about you.” 

“But,” Y/n protested, forgetting that Wanda’s fingers were still knuckle deep in her mouth. She glared at Wanda when the woman chuckled, before the woman pulled her fingers from her mouth, moving the wet digits to circle y/n’s nipple. 

“I want to make you feel good though.” Y/n said, even as her breath shuttered due to Wanda’s nimble fingers. Wanda simply raised an eyebrow, leaning down to kiss y/n deeply. At the series of moans y/n let into the kiss, Wanda knew she had the girl wrapped around her fingers. 

Pulling back, Wanda descended y/n’s body, leaving open mouthed kisses on her soft skin. After a particularly harsh hickey to her inner thigh, y/n felt the vanilla haze enter her mind again, and she propped herself up on a few pillows as she watched Wanda leave marks all over her thighs and hips. 

Reaching out a hand, y/n ran her fingers through Wanda’s hair before gently tugging her head closer to her still-sensitive pussy. Wanda smirked up at her, getting comfortable on the bed as she asked, “Did you want something, darling?” 

“I want your mouth,” Y/n said, her pupils blown as she took in the image of Wanda’s sinfully plump lips hovering over her slick center. At Wanda’s raised eyebrow, she elaborated, “I want you to eat me out until your jaw is sore and the only thing you can taste is me.” 

“Fuck.” Wanda moaned, her eyes widening at y/n’s request. She let her tongue drag over the girl’s pussy, increasing the pressure when she reached her clit, and smirking when y/n’s hips stuttered beneath her. “Are you sure, love?” 

Y/n let her head rest against the headboard as she watched Wanda drag her tongue against her once more. Deciding that Wanda needed one more push, she teasingly rolled her nipple between her fingers as green eyes tracked the movement. “Please, mommy? I wanna come in your mouth so bad.” 

At the half moaned words, Wanda let her lips wrap around y/n’s swollen clit, sucking harshly. Y/n let out a surprised yelp, which was quickly replaced by low moans and rolling hips as Wanda began flicking her tongue against her. Wanda’s chin was soon soaked with y/n’s juices, and she lapped up as much as she could while still keeping consistent pressure on the girl’s clit. 

Eventually, the frantic rolling of y/n’s hips became too much, and Wanda twisted her fingers as a wisp of scarlet magic wrapped around the girl’s waist and pinned her to the bed. She dove back in, a delicious burn making its way to her jaw as she worked y/n closer to the edge. Her fingers raked along the girl’s hips and thighs, leaving wonderfully red marks along her soft skin as y/n’s hands buried themselves in Wanda’s hair. 

“Please mommy, I wanna come for you. Please let me come, I’ve waited all week for you. Please, please, please I’ve been a good girl. Your good girl.” Y/n begged, feeling her orgasm approaching. 

Wanda groaned slightly, her fingers twisting as her magic stimulated y/n’s clit as she left a large hickey on her hip bone. “Who do you belong to, y/n?” 

A choked sound rang around the room as y/n processed the question. She moved to put her hand over her mouth, embarrassed at how desperate she was becoming, but Wanda’s magic stopped her. Looking down, y/n gazed into Wanda’s scarlet eyes and blurted out her answer. 

“You, Wanda. Only you. Always you.”

Wanda’s eyes widened in pleasure at her answer, and before y/n could process what was happening, her hot mouth was once again wrapped around her pussy. Creating a suction with her lips, Wanda dragged y/n’s clit between her teeth as she felt it convulse under her ministrations. After a few harsh sucks, y/n came again, Wanda’s name streaming from her lips as her hips rutted against her face. 

Scarlet tendrils of magic swirled around the room in a frenzied manner. Wanda’s orgasm came shortly after, the woman having snaked her hand down to her own drenched lips to relieve the unbearable tension in her lower gut. Green eyes closed as her orgasm washed over her in waves, and she detached her lips from y/n’s swollen pussy as the girl squirmed beneath her. 

Eventually, y/n’s hoarse voice brought Wanda back to the present moment. “Wanda, can you hear me? I need you to release me, love.” 

Opening her eyes, Wanda quickly pulled her magic away from y/n as the girl’s body sagged onto the mattress in relief. She blinked, bringing her hand to her face to discover tears on her cheeks. 

Y/n saw the tears almost as soon as Wanda had noticed them, and sat up as she wrapped her arms around the woman’s shoulders. Bringing the woman’s shaking body close, y/n held her tightly as Wanda let out a few quiet sobs. Her magic remained, the red wisps floating around as Wanda buried her face into y/n’s neck. 

Whispering praises into Wanda’s slightly frizzy hair, y/n soothed her with a gentle hand against her back. Rocking back and forth, she continued to comfort the woman for a while, until Wanda pulled away and looked dazedly at her. 

“What’s wrong?” Y/n asked, her hand reaching up to cup Wanda’s jaw as her thumb ran over the woman’s damp cheeks. Wanda’s scarlet eyes shone up at her, her lips parted as she thought about her response. 

“I love you,” Wanda whispered, “I’m moving up here to be with you.” 

At y/n’s surprised look, Wanda rushed to continue. “I cannot be without you for that long, ever again. I’m going to stay with you while I begin the process of creating another one of my facilities here. I’ve always wanted to expand.” She let a playful smile onto her face, gazing at y/n’s shocked face with a look of adoration. 

“I will do whatever it takes to ensure your happiness, darling. That’s a promise. Your happiness is my top priority, and I'll go to great lengths to make sure you're happy. You deserve to have everything you could ever want, and I'll put my heart and soul into making that happen.” Wanda finished, her eyes sparkling up at y/n as her magic hovered with anticipation in the air. 

“Okay.” Y/n said, her words quiet as a beaming smile made its way onto her face. 

Wanda looked at her with scarlet eyes, still in disbelief at the words that y/n had said with quiet certainty. “Okay?” She checked, and y/n nodded enthusiastically before pulling her in for a deep kiss. She could feel y/n smile against her lips, and let her own giddy smile show as she kissed her back with passion. 

Pulling away, y/n let her eyes roam over Wanda’s face as she felt the hole in her heart start to repair itself. She giggled as Wanda teased her, leading the woman into the bathroom for a much needed shower as the red wisps of magic cleaned the bed sheets behind them. Y/n felt herself looking forward to the future, for once. She couldn’t wait to spend her life with the amazing woman she’d come to know and love over the summer. 

They continued about their day, lazing about in y/n’s room and catching up with each other. By the end of the day, y/n had a near-permanent smile on her face. She had successfully completed her mission, made some new friends, and fallen in love all in one summer. The best part? Wanda Maximoff’s eyes were finally sparkling again. But this time, not a rich green color. 

This time, they were sparkling scarlet.

#mommy wanda #dom!wanda #wanda fanfic #wanda x reader #mcu #marvel #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff x reader

[scribble-dribble-writes]

Hi!💕

I was thinking about angst for Miguel. Like Miguel being in love with her since he first met her. But he wholeheartedly believes she only sees him as an friend (which maybe or maybe not be true depending on how you want it to go for Miguel) especially when he sees her happy and smiling with another man. I want to hurt but also want a good ending. Thank you ☺️

Thank you for the ask! I hope you like it 💖

---

Lost time

He pushed a doodle he had made towards you. You were seated next to him, helping him with sorting through the influx of data that had gathered from the various universes.

You took the small piece of paper to inspect it, a smile spreading across your face. It was a little sketch of you staring at the screens, with a sentence scribbled beneath it.

Don’t become like me :(

He didn’t know why he was a spider in the first place. He had spent years hating himself for it, for becoming like this. But in moments like these, moments were he too had hidden sketches of you, or when he joked just so he could hear your laugh. It made him believe that he was always meant to be spiderman or atleast he shared a few qualities with the other. It eased the voice of the critic in his head.

But as days went by, he had gone from observing you just because you were the only one he found interesting to never being able to look at anything else because he had fallen in love. That caused the self hatred within him to grow.

How can someone like you? Who lit up every room can be with someone like him.

A mutated monster that could never quite go back to who he once was. The humanness in him fading with every passing day.

He could never hold you close, his claws would get in the way.

He could never kiss you, his fangs would cut you.

And one moment he would be happy, then the next his eyes would narrow down on you like you were a threat.

So him yearning for love was as good as believing in fantasy.

You held him at a certain distance, he felt it, you would be around him long enough to thaw his heart and then flit back to the world you had come from. He watched you relax around other Peter parkers, to pull them into hugs or kiss their cheeks.

He only knew to sulk on that pedestal he built for himself, because if he just pretended to be a statue then his hurt would be left alone, frozen in time.

So he did the same now, push the paper away because if he held onto it, he’d want to frame it. The smile on your face soon becoming the highlight of his day as he sunk back into his chair.

You felt him pull away again. That was how it had been ever since you started being around him. You held the small piece of paper as though it was priceless, another great artefact that he bestowed on you, one you would take home to keep safe. Because as much as he believed he was this creature, these little gifts actually only reinstated how human he was.

You turned to look at him, to catch his eyes for a brief second before he looked away clearing his throat as though he had been caught admiring you. And you did, catch him often looking at you with dreamy eyes, it was only that you wished he would admit it to you, so then you didn’t have to pretend like you didn’t see him.

You saw him. All of him. His happiness, his sadness, his past, his present and the man he had once been, choosing to shine through the cracks now and then.

“Why do you hide it?”, it slipped out your mouth before you could hold it back. His eyes shot to you and you froze.

“Hide what?”, he asked as if you had uncovered his deepest secret.

But now it was out, now you needed to know.

“You.”, you smiled furrowing your brows because you couldn’t understand, why he kept his heart locked up.

He looked away, avoiding your gaze might help him think of a way to escape without giving you an answer but as his eyes found yours again. There was a part of him that didn’t want to shy away.

“There’s nothing great to share.”, he shrugged his shoulders but it made your smile disappear and he hated himself for it.

“Miguel.”, you said his name with a gentleness that you were sure he had not heard of before, you put away the paper to reach for his hand and you felt his fingers twitch upon your contact.

“Stop being hard on yourself.”, he heard you say and it stung him. He pulled away from your touch as though you had wounded him and the surprise on your face made him want to scream out because he had been yearning for your touch. Now he couldn’t even go after what he wanted. What he dreamed.

“There’s a reason as to why I am.”, he disguised the anguish with anger.

“Because of who you are?”, you question and he pushed away from his seat.

“Because of what I am.”, he quipped immediately, his eyes staying glued to yours as you finally saw the sadness behind his statement.

You pushed away to reach out for him, to pull him in, to confess that you loved him just as he was but he held his hands up in defense.

He began to break and it broke you, he mumbled all the reasons you should stay away.

“I could hurt you.”, he stepped back but you stepped forward.

“You deserve better.”, he was trying to convince you but instead it was the tears that were beginning to glimmer in his eyes that got you to stop.

His back hit the edge of the desk softly and it looked like he had admitted defeat.

“So you don’t want me to be around you?”, you asked softly and his eyes shot to find yours, his lips parting to disagree but instead he said,

“Ay dios. I want you. I need you.”, he stopped as he said it in a fit. The truth ebbing out his mouth as he saw you look at him with shock. You made him forget that his life had changed.

“As a friend, as a friend because that’s what we are.”, he held his hands up to ease you to then run his fingers through his hair as though he had messed up this connection between you and him.

But all you’ve been wanting was to know how he truly felt and now there was no need to pretend.

“That’s all we are?”, you asked him. Anxious that there was no room to be more.

“Yes.”, he said slowly.

“Nothing more?”, you stepped towards him as though you were stepping on thin ice.

He didn’t answer and it filled you with anger that he was ready to throw this away. That he wasn’t even going to take a chance.

“Just tell me never liked me and I can move on.”, you demanded and he pursed his lips.

“Tell me.”, you pushed forward, your face now in front of his.

But when his eyes found yours, it burned with passion. It burned as he took your hand. It sizzled as his eyes fell to your lips.

“Nunca.”, he whispered and you wanted to wriggle your hand out of his hold to march away but he didn’t let you.

“I could never imagine my life without you in it.”, he tugged you to him.

“If you had only let me know I had a chance, I would not have waited for so long.”, he said quietly, his eyes roaming over your face as his hand caressed your cheek.

“You’ve always had a chance, Miguel. You never took it.”, you placed your palms on his chest, not wanting to pull away from his arms.

“What are you going to do with this one?”, you asked as you were in this moment, your voice turning raspy when his breath cascaded over your lips.

He waited for a second, but there was nothing to think about. He pulled you to him entirely, his hands cradling your hips so you could wrap your legs around his waist. His lips catching yours with a hunger that matched yours. He moaned with delight as your fingers got lost in his hair.

He didn’t break away but he pushed away from the desk to turn and put you on it. He pinned you down as his hands caged you in, his kisses now traveling down your neck before he returned to your lips.

He pulled away to catch his breath and you couldn’t help but laugh as you were in a state of joy, his eyes softened as he joined you. You pushed yourself up and he held your waist steady, his eyes lost in yours as if he couldn’t make sense if this was real or not.

He leaned forward, to place his forehead on yours as he breathed slowly and before you knew it, you were breathing in sync with him.

“You like me as I am?”, he asked.

“I love you as you are.”, you replied and felt his hands tighten around you.

You nudged his nose with yours to get him to look at you and when he did,

“I love you, Miguel. I always have.”, you repeated it just so he knew you were not going to take it back.

His eyes glistened as he took your hand to kiss your palm as though a broken part of him had healed. He then began to place kisses on your wrist and worked his way down your arm as though his words could never convey the depth of his love. You slowly leaned back to lie down on the table as you pulled him close.

“We might be here for a while at this rate.”, he laughed and you smiled.

“Hmm we can make up for lost time.”, you chuckled.

“Oh I see.”, he said it with a mischievous tone, taunting you as his lips hovered over yours.

“Just shut up and kiss me.”, you laughed as you pulled him by the collar of his suit to kiss him again. His laugh against your lips put the world on hold for a while.

#miguel o'hara x you #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel ohara #miguel x reader #miguel o'hara #atsv miguel #miguel spiderman #miguel spiderverse #miguel o'hara fluff #miguel o'hara fanfiction #miguel o hara #spiderman 2099

[pseudopigeons]

I came up with maybe not a theory but more of just an observation that the east blue 5 seem to parallel the 5 love languages and it's kinda reframed all of their actions and behaviours towards each other so much for me on my watchthrough. Got brainworms from that one oda interview where he said zoro doesn't like verbally expressing gratitude and prefers to show appreciation through actions and it got me thinking

The 5 languages:

Physical touch - Luffy

Acts of service - Zoro

Quality time - Usopp

Receiving / giving gifts - Nami

Words of affirmation - Sanji

Funnily enough in OPLA we definitely see a lot of physical touch Luffy. He's always playfully punching or hugging crewmates, despite having known the crew for such a short time he's just instantly clingy and physically present around them in east blue.

Zoro is very much an actions person. He's a little emotionally constipated and doesn't verbalise his feelings very much, in fact that seems like the last thing he wants to do, but he will always be looking out for any member of the crew silently, and is almost always the first to spring into action when it's called for. He shows he cares through acts of service and being there for his captain and crew.

Usopps language being quality time is shown pretty well in syrup village with his relationship with Kaya. Kaya is a girl who has everything she could wish for financially, but ussop provides her with a much needed friend, someone to support her and just physically be present and talk to her. He risks so much just to make her smile because being there for his friends is such a crucial and important thing for him.

Nami's love language being giving/recieving gifts means so much to me because it is so often seen as the most shallow of the love languages and I have seen so many poor analysis and digs at Nami's character, reducing her to just being greedy and money hungry. Did they watch Arlong park with their eyes closed??? For Nami, gold or money is a means for her to provide for the people she cares about, to ensure their financial stability and freedom and to keep her crewmates fed and afloat. She spent so long scorned and alone and (believed she was) hated because she created this money hungry persona to save her village and to best Arlong. Every piece of gold she bled to get was meant for that end goal. Nami deserves the financial freedom and gold that being a strawhat pirate could give because for years and years every bit she earned was tucked away for the well-being of others and was then stolen from under her nose. (This paragraph got very long but I'm not sorry I am the captain of the Nami defense squad.)

And finally Sanji reflects words of praise as a love language. I think it's the most clear to see with how Sanji is so quick to praise any female character he comes into contact with, especially Nami, but I think it also reflects his strained relationship with zef while working at the baratie. Zeff is always verbally critical of Sanji as a way to rile him up and to encourage him to leave the restaurant. Zef weaponises what makes Sanji tick to antagonise him and tries to get him to leave that way, but Sanji is far too stubborn and feels too great a debt to leave.

I think east blue definitely shows the 5 dynamics in a pretty clear way and kinda helped me understand what makes the characters tick. Also why some of the characters end up butting heads or getting into arguments. They all show and recieve love in different way, sometimes there are misunderstandings or clashes but at the end of the day they all trust each other with their lives and it's such a strong bond.

Anyways I'll eventually draw some more OP but I'd love to hear any thoughts or other people's ideas if they have any on the matter. Sometimes I get analysis brainworms, and I first shared the idea on discord, but figured why not post it to Tumblr too

ALSO please if anyone has examples from the series that fit the love languages PLEASE share it, makes my heart oougggghhghg.

#one piece #east blue #op theory #love language #romance dawn #like you dont understand every time any of the east blue 5 do something that coincides with their pseudo assigned love language #ouggghhhhhaaaaaghhh my HEART #they care about each other so much #and they show it in different ways but they still mean it #anyways please share ur thoughts #im 300 episodes in so idk how long this checks out for #but its still pretty solid #idk what nico robin would be #im leaning towards quality time maybe #cause shes been alone for so long waaaaaaaah #i love her she needs a hug #luffy get on it stat

[starburstfloat]

Let's Talk Innuendos and Queer Subtext: TXT's Poppin' Star Lyrics Analysis

One of the joys of making progress in my Korean language journey has been the ability to analyze lyrics more critically by dissecting tone, word choice, or rhyme schemes that would have otherwise slipped by me a few years ago. And as someone who has a deep love for literary analysis and kpop, there's an unparalleled joy in getting to bridge the two together. I'm happy I have this space to do that. So without further ado, let's take a look at TXT's Poppin' Star from their first full-length album, The Dream Chapter: Magic (thank you nika for requesting this!).

This song feels like a sonic representation of this memefied image:

It's literally bubblegum pop at its finest. It sounds sparkly, cute, uplifting, and deceptively adorable, and anyone who has seen the choreography can attest to watching the video with a ridiculous smile on their face.

I could give high praise endlessly about this underrated early TXT Bside, but I wanted to prioritize the lyrics for this post! We're going to talk about the superficial meaning of the song before we dissect some of the more suggestive, metaphorical elements. Heads up I'll be mentioning sexual innuendos, so if that's not your cup of tea then please kindly leave.

My goal is to get you to see that, at the very least, this song is not just about eating candy. Whether or not we agree on the queer subtext is another debate, but I'm hoping this analysis post can be a lesson on interpreting figurative language and grasping inneundos.

Whenever I do analysis, I always start with the surface level face-value of what's being presented, and then I try to peel the layers and discern the underlying themes or suggested connotations based on context clues. Usually I leave out the initial face-value in my posts because it's something so obvious that it feels contradictory to present it. But it feels relevant to include for Poppin' Star. So what is the face-value meaning of the song when we look at the lyrics as a whole?

On the surface, this song appears to be about a young male protagonist who experiences a burst of emotions - dizzying warmth, sweetness, and a clouded brain - after he eats a variety of flavored candies. He states that he is not satisfied with the burst of flavor he's experiencing - now that he knows this intense feeling, he's craving more.

cr. color coded lyrics (though I'm cross referencing multiple translations and using my own knowledge of individual words and tonal conjugations to understand the song)

It doesn't take much of an analytical eye to catch the innuendo presented in Poppin' Star. What exactly is an innuendo? An innuendo is an allusive hint to something typically sexual. The keyword here is hint - it's something you pick up on based on subtly provocative language. Critics could argue that "your brain must be in the gutter" if you find sexual context where there is supposedly none. I'd say blaming the observer for a sexual interpretation is disrespectful to the art in question. Inneundos are meant to be spotted and discussed - they have the potential to heighten the art and unveil a greater message. Just because something is sexual does not mean it is bad.

Now that we have that cleared, it's pertinent to reflect on the surface value of the lyrics in contrast to the glaring inneundo jumping out at the audience. Let's look at the opening lyrics together:

One look at the lyrics, and you'll raise your eyebrows and go, "Really? You sampled a mouthful of candy and can't stop talking about how you're tingling all over, feel dizzy, and are melting from the sweetness?" The song's lyrics and language is quite figurative: the audience is guided to see beyond the literal meaning.

If we break down the individual feelings our protagonist shares, it sounds reminiscient of a first kiss or sexual experience. Considering how strongly the lyrics center on oral pleasure (oral as in the literal sense of the mouth), the rightfully assummed metaphor here is kissing. Let's look at all the instances where the song connects pleasure to the mouth:

별가루 가득 물면 느껴지는 불꽃놀이일까? / (Is this) fireworks that I feel when I bite a whole mouthful of stardust?

입 안을 채운 콕콕 따끔한 이 느낌은 또 / This tingling feeling that has filled my mouth

혀끝에 건전지 / A battery at the tip of my tongue

Our protagonist talks extensively about the pleasure in his mouth in correlation to feeling dizzy, warm, fuzzy, electrified, and excited - all feelings heavily associated with heightened sexual experiences, and notably kissing.

A striking detail is the fact that our protagonist is not alone during the story - he's actively talking to another person, meaning he's not literally eating candy by himself and getting an explosive sugar rush as the superficial interpretation insinuates. We notice this from the opening line which calls to a direct "you":

짜릿한 정전기 you’re popping star / Electrifying static, you're popping star.

Not only is this a reference to the title, making it an important detail to note, but it's also inviting the audience into acknowledging the relevant prescence of another character, some unnamed you. He goes on to say:

머리가 띵하게 기분 좋은 my love / Making my head feel dizzy, that good feeling, my love

He's directly saying "my love," so this person is clearly special to him. This person is his popping star - someone who evokes all of these explosive, tingling feelings.

The chorus is riddled with suggestive language: "This isn't enough / I need something stronger / A chew full of lemon, lime, orange, yeah / I need more, more, more / A stronger popping / A chew full of lemon, lime, orange, yeah"

Our protagonist is craving more flavor as he seeks a pleasure high. My interpretation is that the other character is wearing flavored chaptstick, perhaps fruit-flavored or candy-flavored, and our protagonist wants to taste more of the character's lips. Another interpretation is that they're both chewing on flavored gum, and when they kiss, the flavors blend together in a satisfying burst. Both feel plausible to me. The chorus suggests a kiss through the explosive repetition of surprised "oh's" that the members sing. It's hard to explain without hearing it, so skip to 0:48 in the song to catch what I mean. The explosive instrumental paired with the high-pitched oh's feels representative of an epiphany, or at least a heightened emotional state.

Perhaps one of the most glaringly suggestive parts of the song is Beomgyu's line after the first chorus, where he says:

잠깐 쉬어갈 땐 slime vacation / When (I) take a short break, slime vacation

This implies he's taking a break from exchanging slime, or saliva, with the aforementioned "you". Keep in mind that Korean sentences don't always need an explicit subject, so it's unclear whether Beomgyu is saying "When I take a short break" or "When we take a short break". However, later in the song, during a critical moment that I'll get to shortly, Yeonjun explicitly mentions the pronoun 우리 (we/us) which means we can assume this whole candy-tasting fiasco is, at the very least, a pleasure-seeking high that our protagonist is doing with someone by his side.

The kissing metaphor is more strongly suggested when Taehyun says:

어제 했던 건 벌써 지루해 / The things that (I did/were done) yesterday are already boring

더 더 더 강한 popping이 필요해 / I need a stronger popping

which tells me the song is self-aware enough to recognize it's not just about eating candy. Why would yesterday's candy be described as "the things that were done yesterday"? I also find it interesting that he's using the verb 지루하다 instead of 심심하다 when mentioning boredom. Both of these verbs mean "to be bored", but 심심하다 refers to boredom through a lack of action, whereas 지루하다 has the connotation of being bored by something because you've been doing it for a prolonged time; as in, you're getting physically tired of it. So, Taehyun is saying that the stuff he did yesterday has become repetitive and tiring, and he's now seeking a stronger high. Very suggestive language.

There's a line from Heuningkai that really stands out towards the latter half of the song. He goes:

가끔은 조금 위험해도 돼 / Sometimes it can be a little dangerous

엄마 몰래 자물쇠를 열어봐 / Open the lock without my mom knowing

The conjugation here is very interesting!! He uses the 아/어도 되다 pattern at the end of the adjective for "dangerous", which is a conjugation used to give permission for something. So, rather than him stating the fact that it's dangerous, he's giving permission to the speaker to be a little dangerous. It's a subtle nod at him approving risky behavior, so perhaps a better translation would be "it's alright if sometimes it's a bit dangerous".

"Open the lock" reminds me of Soobin's verse in Sugar Rush Ride:

, which I interpret as a more blatantly sexual inneundo for losing one's virginity. I don't think Poppin Star implies more than kissing, but asking someone to open your lock without your mom knowing, and engaging in risky behavior, appears symbolic to doing something you wouldn't want your mom to see, so at the very least it's suggestive language.

This interpretation aligns with the direct album overview provided by Bighit, which states that "The Dream Chapter: MAGIC tells the story of 'magical adventures' that boys encounter together with their friends [...] the boys share their transformation, confusion and exploding emotions that arise during their transition to adolescence." Notice that the official statement itself says that the album centers on a boy and his friends as they transition into adolescence. Interesting.

I'd be happy to leave the analysis there and say, "See? The song is clearly an innuendo", but then the writers toss in the gayest shit during the last third of the song that forces the audience to pause and reinterpret.

Yeonjun and Taehyun sing the following lines:

이건 어쩌면 나라에서 허락한 / Maybe this is something that the country has allowed

우리끼리만 숨겨둔 유일한 / Something we have kept hidden just among us

자 아무에게나 허락된 게 아냐 / Alright, it's not allowed to just anyone

입안 가득 터뜨려 / Burst a mouthful

The verb used here is 허락하다 which means to allow, permit, or approve. Talking about what your country allows in connotation to something you've kept hidden among the two of you…feels queer-coded. Especially when the rest of the song has been dedicated to pursuing a thrill from "my love", a pursuit which they acknowledge is intimately private given the line "without my mom knowing". Why bring up what's allowed in your country in a song that centers on a boy seeking pleasure? The last line is odd too - it's conjugated as a command, so our protagonist is telling us, the audience, that we should pop a mouthful of the candy too. In connection to the line above it, it's implied that he knows popping the candy aka kissing his love is not allowed for everyone, but he's encouraging others to try. Adding to the intrigue is the fact that they repeat the last two lines again, but change the command to 입안 가득 터뜨려 봐 which is a less forceful command and more like "Give it a try".

If the song truly were just about candy, talking about what your country allows and who is allowed to do it feels very out of place and strange. This, paired with the striking fixation on oral pleasure makes me believe the song is about a boy kissing his friend, and it's been a fun, exciting little secret between the two of them.

It doesn't feel like an exaggeration to find queer subtext here. If you're an avid TXT fan, you'll know their songs are very queer-coded, from 0x1=lovesong having the most blatant thematic connection (I still regularly think about Soobin's "I can't go to heaven, I don't belong there" line) alongside Sugar Rush Ride, which suggests we "swallow the sugar rush"....sir, swallow what exactly??!

I hope this could spark your interest and see the lyrics from a new perspective. Sorry not sorry if this burst your innocent perception of the song...like I said, it sounds deceptively adorable 😂 let me know your thoughts and thanks for reading!

#lyrics analysis #txt lyrics #txt poppin star #kpop discourse #tomorrow x together #yeonjun #soobin #beomgyu #taehyun #heuningkai #txt moa

[swallowerofdharma]

The language of that fall from grace won’t get us home*

I really love manga as a visual language and its various possibilities of storytelling. Among the vocabulary that can be oh so cleverly used, there is the juxtaposition of images or scenes to show similarities or contrast between concepts in the arc of a single chapter. In chapter 2 Yashiro and Doumeki have the first serious talk between them. This time deflection is out of the question and Doumeki has to give up his background and family history, since his sister Aoi has been loitering outside of the office. Yashiro is surprised to learn that Doumeki was in the police and, even if he lost his job and served a prison sentence, his motives and actions were far from the common acts of violence committed by petty criminals who become yakuza. “There is one thing I want to ask you though. How did a former police officer end up in a place like this? Why didn’t you leave when you were told to work for me?” Yashiro asks. And the answer probably doesn’t make a lot of sense to Yashiro. Because Doumeki saw him and thought he was beautiful and a beautiful person in the yakuza meant that maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to get involved? Without beating around the bush, Yashiro asks directly if Doumeki is gay. Maybe he discovered it in prison? So here there are probably some nuances that need a little bit of attention and some flexibility. I don’t really know who is going to read my analysis but surely enjoying this manga are people from different backgrounds and cultural contexts. Are you gay? Is this character gay? What definitions are we using? Let’s be clear then first, this is just an attempt to analyze what Yashiro and Doumeki talk about, not general statements or definitions. So let’s stay in the text, with these characters and their particular experiences and thoughts and hang-ups and their critical vocabulary. After all shouldn’t understanding come before agreement or disagreement? So let’s suspend our beliefs for a moment while reading the chapter.

“Are you a homo? Did you learn the pleasures of anal while you were in prison?”

“I don’t think I’m homosexual. I never was. But since I can’t get it up right now, I can’t say for sure”.

First of all, for these men to define their sexuality the body seems like the place to look, physical responses are less vague than just thinking someone is attractive. Finding anal sex pleasurable or getting an erection, being able to perform, as in maintaining an erection, and reaching an orgasm, these are observable facts, these are things very basic and easy to understand. And even when this is putting it simply, the reasoning around defining sexual orientation for men comes back to the physical reality often in the common language, in the crass language and in practice. Having become impotent and never having experienced anal sex from the receiving end, from the body’s standpoint Doumeki can’t know more than two things: he wasn’t gay before, we will learn more later about his experiences with women, but he knows that he rejected sexual advances in prison or didn’t feel anything about the guy who gave him a blowjob, while with Yashiro something is different. Yashiro inquires further, after all a young man having an infatuation with an older man can be quite common, but often it’s just admiration and the desire for mentorship, guidance and recognition, rather then being something sexual in nature. If Doumeki can’t be sure because he doesn’t get hard, then maybe he can admit that he felt some form of repulsion towards Yashiro when he gave him a blowjob or when he had gay sex in front of him. I think this is the direction of the dialogue until Doumeki says something unexpected: “I’m not sure. I’ve never met anyone like you in my entire life so…”. Suddenly Yashiro is the one who deflects from the conversation, although he can’t help a gesture of affection for this man who doesn’t express disgust towards his behavior.

Little digression here, but following the logic of physical response and physical pleasure only, Yashiro saying that he is bisexual makes a lot of sense since he feels arousal and gets hard with women too, although he prefers the pleasure he gets from being on the receiving end with men. Matters of consent don’t seem to count in this reasoning, although Yashiro gets angry when Doumeki cosplaying as a cop says that if someone doesn’t object or is into it then that can’t be considered rape, at the beginning of chapter 4. I believe there is something inside Yashiro that knows how wrong that idea actually is, that sometimes you are unable to voice your dissent out loud or your body doesn’t fight it but instinctively retreats into what it learned from experience and worked before, even fabricating pleasure from pain. And that maybe physical responses aren’t reliable enough to make sense of our feelings. But there is another experience that Yashiro knows, and that is that his feelings for Kageyama are independent from what little physical touch passed between them, he knows and can say out loud that he fell in love with a man. That is confirmation enough that Yashiro is queer, something outside of the logic of physical pleasure, something that Yashiro still doesn’t find easier to accept than his sexual preferences and desires. On the contrary, Doumeki as he is at the moment, can only rely on his feelings, since his body is dormant, and those feelings become impossible to ignore or discard because they are calling him and awakening him, giving him hope and direction when he had felt like he had lost everything. So why did I start this analysis announcing a juxtaposition?

The rain keeps falling as we transition into another day when Aoi is back, this time under her own umbrella. Yashiro manages to get her in a caffè to talk alone, without Doumeki knowing, and even tells her about his own experience, because having someone else who knows what that’s like is more than just a generic expression of sympathy. Yashiro can’t help but be self deprecating and stating how different he actually is from her - we will learn how he convinced himself that rape is harder on women or that he somehow doesn’t deserve to be treated with any sort of care. But Aoi, although she is surprised, doesn’t judge him harder than she judges herself as well, for putting Doumeki and her family in an awful situation. Not a lot a pages, not a lot of words, but there are so many things being said or implied, so much complexity and an instant connection. When she confesses her feelings for her brother and she shows how confused and conflicted she is and she cries because her love was not only unrequited but also unnatural, since she is sure she would have loved him even if there was a blood relation, Yashiro recognizes the same type of pain he felt when he recognized his feelings for Kageyama. Stripped down to his own honest responses and after all his stepfather did to him, he still couldn’t help but love a man and one who rejected him. Love came to both Yashiro and Aoi regardless their impossible circumstances and felt wrong and painful and unacceptable to the ones they directed their feelings to. For a moment, we don’t know how long, Yashiro can only watch Aoi cry silently, while his cigarette turns into ashes. And looking out at the window, at the light coming through after the rain, he makes a decision, he won’t fire Doumeki unless he asks to leave himself. Notice how these types of decisions come and how things can change, how these characters are following their hopes or intuition until the next moment they are confronted with another decision to make, another circumstance, and how the storytelling is based on the characters’ little weaknesses and on serendipity, so much so that if we don’t pay enough attention we can miss these delicate threads. This is Yoneda-Sensei’s storytelling. And the composition of the chapter works around these images and these three people trying to make sense of falling in love in ways that defy common beliefs or expectations, ever their own. How they are getting caught in a love that feels distinct and not subject to some type of physical response or banal logic or law or rationale. How useless is fighting against it sometimes, or how love can feel like pain and feel like hope at the same time.

*frase is from a review written by Kevin Brazil about a book called An Apartment on Uranus by Paul B. Preciado and published in ArtReview on March 1st, 2020.

#saezuru tori wa habatakanai #saezuru analysis #yoneda kou #manga analysis #eri reads saezuru #trying to convey my thoughts and impressions but feeling like I didn’t particularly succeed

[meyexe]

I want to point out one thing...

I graduated from music school in the eighth grade program and have been studying astronomy for several years. I would like to praise and criticize this moment:

There's great soundtrack. Can't argue with that. But here it is clear that the Moon is near its zenith. The Moon, like the Sun, moves along the ecliptic to an observer on Earth, which means that Norrisville is within 28 degrees south latitude and 28 degrees north latitude. Only there you can see the Moon at its zenith.

Also, as far as I can tell, this is a lunar eclipse. And in this case, the Moon does not deviate from the ecliptic by a single degree. Then the limit of Norrisville's location on Earth is reduced to 23 degrees south latitude and 23 degrees north latitude.

That's not all. It's snowing in Norrisville. I always thought that this meant that the city was located in mid-latitudes, that is, north or south of 45 degrees of the corresponding latitude...

By the way, in the Southern Hemisphere, winters are colder and summers are hotter than in the Northern Hemisphere. This is an interesting fact :)

This isn't even the end!

If we think this is a lunar eclipse and not a magical phenomenon, then take a look here. Here is the total phase of the eclipse, as in the first moment that I indicated (in the total phase of the eclipse the Moon is red). But the moon is not yet at its zenith. Do you know how long a lunar eclipse lasts? Up to two hours. And the total eclipse phase lasts even less. During this time, the moon will not have time to reach its zenith. You can attribute everything to the perspective in the frame, but I still don’t believe that the Moon is less than 30 degrees away from its zenith.

Guys, if you don’t know astronomy, then just trust me - this moment is wrong. Please.

But this moment is very beautiful. I'm still crazy about it...

(In fact, there are still many sins of animation here. Not even here, but a little later. But this is not related to the topic I raised)

#rc9gn #analysis #i dont know what to do with my knowledge #i dont believe Norrisville is on the equator #what is this glow near the horizon?

[awakenedsalamander]

Alright, so I’ve obviously given Mage and Vampire some attention. It’s about time I talk about Werewolf: The Apocalypse, you know, round out the “big three.”

Truth be told, I have kind of a love/hate relationship with Werewolf, though that kinda implies it’s an even split of things I enjoy and things I don’t, but that’s not quite correct.

A more accurate breakdown of my feelings would be something like:

- 60% stuff I really love and appreciate

- 20% stuff I go back and forth on

- 15% stuff I dislike but can tolerate (pretty standard for WoD)

- 5% stuff I really, truly, passionately loathe

And it’s honestly that last 5% that I struggle with most. To be clear, a lot of the WoD games have things in them I don’t just dislike, but find sincerely objectionable or harmful. (A certain Vampire sourcebook, the title of which I can’t even comfortably write out, immediately comes to mind.) But I get past those things, because 1) no work of art is morally flawless, and your tastes as a hobbyist or audience member are not your ethics as a human being and 2) a lot of that stuff is from the older editions and has largely been divorced from the game.

So what’s different about Werewolf?

Well, some of it lies in point 2— there are things in Werewolf that are bad and (barring the controversy of 5th Edition’s lore changes, which is a whole other kettle of fish that I’d rather not dive into right now) are still part of the game. Improved somewhat? Absolutely. But the ugliness of some choices still haunts the game.

The ways Werewolf: The Apocalypse talks about native peoples, from Indigenous Australians to First Nations Americans, is a big example. I don’t feel it prudent for me to go into those details, if only because I think it’s not my lane and voices from those cultures should really lead those discussions, but the game has a very weird attitude toward indigenous groups— at one recognizing their history and the atrocities they’ve come through with respect, while still finding ways to exoticize that history, and appropriate much of it. To say nothing of the ways in which it feels comfortable speaking over indigenous groups, even in matters of their rights.

That’s just one example. There’s the way Werewolf conceptualizes ethnicity and ancestry in general, which is weirdly archaic in places despite seemingly trying to criticize that view. There’s its approach to disability and bodies that differ from an assumed norm, which as many have observed can sometimes come across as genuinely eugenicist on occasion.

And of course, the game is about monsters— you’re not meant to agree with the Garou on much of their beliefs, and you’re meant to engage with those very real issues and wrestle with the right way forward.

And honestly? That last part— the reality of the issues at hand— that’s what makes the bad parts of Werewolf so hard to look past. You know, the other games in the World of Darkness deal with real world issues, but they do so in a fairly abstract way. Like, sure I can and do identity the Technocracy of Mage with destructive and cruel systems of power in the real world, but like… there isn’t actually a league of hypereconomists using secret math to influence the fate of the world. That’s just an exaggerated and metaphorical way to engage with the problems at the heart of a late-capitalist world.

But Pentex? Pentex is basically real. The Apocalypse in Werewolf: The Apocalypse is climate change. It’s happening now. When the game tells you that you need to Rage against the dying of Gaia… that’s almost as literal as it gets. And that makes its fumbles, its mistakes, and yes, its deliberate offenses, harder to swallow. The stakes are high enough that when things are wrong, it really hurts.

But… let’s also acknowledge: The reality I’m talking about it? It’s what makes that 60% stuff I like so amazing. The lows of Werewolf are hard to stomach, but the highs are just… exhilarating.

Like, Werewolf is a game that says, “You see the state of the world? You see its monstrous past? Its insidious present that only hides the horror? Do you see the doomed future its on a crash course with? Let’s take it, and let’s rip it to fucking shreds. It these tyrants and thieves want to kill the world, then we’ll kill them first, if that’s what it takes. If the Apocalypse happens, it happens on our terms, on the terms of the people being victimized and shoved to the margins. You and I? We’re gonna build a better world or die trying. All our anger might ruin us, but we have to try. The consequences of our actions are dire, but we don’t go down without making the bastards work for it. Not without a fight.”

And fuck, when the game is saying that? It’s priceless.

In fact, this has all been too down on Werewolf as a whole. I want to get my problems with the game out front, just to acknowledge them and keep space for the critique and change that they demand, but at the end of the day, I am a Werewolf: The Apocalypse fan (if one with a lot of notes). I want to do something a little unusual and show you an outline for an Apocalypse chronicle I haven’t yet had the chance to run, to show you what I love about the game.

So, stay tuned for a glimpse into that later— a glimpse into “Blood Ripples Out.”

#wod #world of darkness #werewolf the apocalypse

[mmmmalo]

this might be a stupid question, sorry in advance. when you perform analysis on a work like homestuck and excavate these levels of, like, racial and social meaning from it, how does it affect your opinion of the work? do you come to like or dislike it more, or have your feelings toward it grown past that over the years into more nebulous things?

i love your blog and your posts, even though i only started homestuck last year and never made it past act 4; when i read your stuff i always learn new things about how one can interact with texts. just got curious about the above after reading your post on caliborn and disability and such. hope you have a good day.

I continue to like the work, in new ways. The feelings evade summary, so here's a few examples:

I lost my initial fervor for classpect ages ago, when it became clear to me that the categories weren't mutually exclusive (depriving the system of majestic power) and that they were not the ultimate key to Homestuck (meaning a new paradigm would be needed to solve the story's remaining mysteries). But I still admire how classpect induces the audience to engage in symbolic reading, proposing this object or that color has an associated abstract significance.

The manifestation system started out just giving me digestible bits of characterization like Egbert being scared of heights, but within a few months it began giving me weirder shit like racist sex dreams. That was difficult to integrate into my impression of what exactly Homestuck was -- for the time, I was satisfied to conclude that Equius was not as much of an anomaly as he was made out to be, and that the comic might be in some measure a commentary on racism. That the racist thoughts seemed to emanate from particular characters, in a game whose modus operandi is making thoughts real, struck me as a distancing maneuver of sufficient strength to rebuff gentle (and not so gentle) suggestions that maybe this all just meant Hussie was racist. Thus when the ARG got posted, instead of joining the outcry against the abundant bigotry I was laser focused on how the alternate-dimension Obama was a surrealist confirmation of racist birther conspiracies. The psychological framing of Sburb had persuaded me to accept the story as a scare quote around "racism" that could be observed at a remove.

I was excited that the manifestation system meant more characterization for Jade, then shocked when it implied she had been raped, then apprehensive of the apparent perpetrator Grandpa's every move, then supremely confused by the revelation that Homestuck's deployment of pejorative tropes meant that all the above had coaxed me into a simulation of satanic panic. Reconciling my sympathy for Jade's suffering with the knowledge that Jake is by some measure an effigy sending out de-fused signals of DANGEROUS HOMOSEXUAL THREATENS THE CHILDREN, it all gives me a headache. The story's ironic scaremongering demands your disengagement, to view the story as artifice, but the suffering of the victim within the bad-faith narrative is nonetheless visceral. Conflicting demands like that make up much of the story for me now: pathos that I once felt and continue to feel, side by side with the need to question the foundations of the sympathy.

It is very rare that anything holds my attention as long as Homestuck has and that in itself is something I'm grateful for. Trying to get a rhetorical foothold on its weird ass games has been my primary motivation for reading new things -- psychoanalytic film criticism, existential philosophy, and academic theorization of assorted bigotries are probably not things I would have delved into were they not connected to the puzzle box. It became my lesson plan for self-study, and it has (slash I have) made me into a better reader in general... or something, idk.

I like the story. That's it for feelings for now

#the undersells the dynamic of laughing at new jokes and being exasperated by new jokes #and the experience of becoming a more guarded speaker under the dual pressures of reader scrutiny and an epistemic humility that comes wit #h knowing your mode of reading will eventually reach its limit #but for now for now #meta meta

[hee0soo]

Moody

Summary: Somethings wrong and 3racha are hell bent on finding out what.

This ain´t a masterpiece but i somewhat like it.

Usually when Jisung looked at Jisoo what, he saw was a sweet little sunshine, sometimes shining brighter than even Felix could!

But today that sun seemed to be hidden by some very dark storm clouds and it made him uneasy. The girl had been unusual gloomy the entire day during recording, glaring at everyone or everything who dared even breathing into her direction.

Criticism from 3Racha was always very welcome to her but today it seemed, every correction that was meant to help, aggravated her more and more. Even snapping at Chan for letting her repeat a specific line for the 9th time in a row!

Chan had only lifted an eyebrow at the girl’s behavior at first. Seeing as she wasn´t know to disrespect the older members or anyone for that matter!

But when it continued to get worse as time passed on, even the ever patient leader lost his cool for a moment.

It wasn´t a moment the eldest was proud of and he felt guilty the moment he scolded the girl harshly. Meanwhile Jisoo had only stared at him before removing the headphones she was wearing during recording, almost threw them at Changbin and sat down next to Felix on the couch, starring at something only she could see.

The freckled boy had only looked at her with wide eyes, just like the rest of the members! None of them had dared talking to her about it until they left to continue their schedule.

It left Jisoo as the last one in the studio, together with the 3 producers!

All 3 of them seemingly ignored her, choosing to work on the song rather than indulging her.

The truth was that all 3 of them were silently watching her. Hoping that she would find it in herself to talk about what caused the horrible mood she was in.

And now she was sitting in silence, her arms crossed over her chest.

Sometimes the girl mumbled a few German words before becoming silent again!

What Jisung noticed the most about her behavior was the way Jisoo seemed to tense up every now and then, doing her very best to hide it from them.

Changbin was also observing the grumpy female. He saw the way she was blinking rapidly from time to time, like she was trying to clear her mind or something.

Chan on the other hand realized that her breathing was heavy. Almost pressed but at the same time way to controlled to be considered normal. And the fact that she had left the room multiple time to go to the rest room was also very weird.

“What’s wrong today? Because whatever this is, it isn´t the Jisoo we know!”

Chan expressed seriously after turning his chair to Jisoo. His arms were mirroring hers in the way they were crossed.

Jisoo sharp gaze flew to the leader but ultimately stayed silent.

“Come on Soo-ah. This isn´t you and you know it. We´ve seen you having bad days but this is way beyond a bad day. Talk to us, maybe we can help you?”

Jisung didn’t know what to do. Jisoo looked at her 3 remaining members.

“M´not having a bad day…”

Chans eyebrows almost vanished into his hairline with how high he raised them.

The girl wasn´t in the mood for another scolding from him but it seemed that 3Racha was not having it. Her vision turned fuzzy every time she tried to focus for too long and her abdomen was cramping up for the, what felt like, millionth time that day!

It was something she suffered from every month like clockwork and Jisoo always, without fail suffered the most on the first and second day!

Most of her fellow female trainees had stopped getting their period due to stress a while after having started at the company but not Jisoo.

It was just the first time it happened in front of the boys!

When she was still living in the girl’s dorm, everyone understood what was happening but the guys were a bit different. They of course knew about periods and all but it wasn´t something they usually had to think about.

“It´s not important. Just leave it!” she hissed before tensing up as the pain took over again.

“Not important? Bambi you can barely sit still without whatever is making you tense! You snap at us as soon as one of us looks at you funny or breathes in your direction and you have a hard time focusing! Don´t say this is not important because it clearly is!”

“You can’t help me either way so WHY are so intent on me telling you what’s going on?!”

“Because we care about you! And we want to help you but we can’t if you aren’t talking to us! Don´t you trust us?” Jisung insisted while playing with his hands.

Jisoo was silent. She didn´t know what to say without saying too much.

It made her a bit uncomfortable to talk to them about it and now she was supposed to explain what was causing her sour mood? No thank you!

“It´s not that I don´t trust you! I just- It´s you know that thing….” She trailed off, looking at her members like they magically knew what she was going through just by looking at her.

The very unimpressed looks they gave her told Jisoo that in fact No. They did not know what she was going on about!

“That thing?” Changbin asked, wanting her to continue.

“You know. THAT thing! That once-a-month thing.”

It seemed to finally click for them because both Changbin and Jisung immediately made faces but tried to hide it as best as they could!

“You have cramps right? That´s why you´re so tense, cause you´re in pain?” the ever observant leader asked softly.

Jisoo nodded carefully.

“Cramps, headache, I’m hungry all the time and the way Minho-ssi was looking at me was annoying. Like I know he doesn´t like me, but he could at least hide it sometimes!”

Changbin got up from his seat and sat down next to her before making her sit down between his legs. Without a word he put his right hand on her stomach to sooth the pain.

It looked awkward but he refused to let her get up, knowing that the gently pressure he applied over her shirt helped her. At least if the relieved sigh the female let out was any indicator.

Chan went through the drawers on his desk.

“Gummy bears, chips or chocolate?”

Jisoo was confused for a moment. It took a second until she realized, he was asking her what snack she wanted.

“I- chips please…”

The quokka looking member also settled down on the couch with a bottle of water.

Chan handed her the open bag.

“We are going home and you will rest until tomorrow and later we are talking about this as a group! No questions asked understood?”

Jisoo nodded. The warmth of Changbins hug and the pressure of his hand on her stomach lulled her into a trance.

“Just close your eyes for a bit. We´ll wake you when the van arrives.”

With those words the girl slowly drifted off.

Taglist: @alyszaen @smh-anon @andjeoidjavo @ninjaxoxo @sunghoonieee @stopeatread

#stray kids #stray kids 9th member #9th member of stray kids #kpop added member #kpop addition #kpop au #kpop extra member #stray kids addition #stray kids female member #stray kids female addition

[spoonmagister]

Behind the Scrib

The Tavern is a cornerstone of society. All adventures, mysteries, quests, jobs, observations, the passage of information, the meetings of heroes, the plotting of conspiracies, the purchase and subsequent consumption of bread and sujamma, the act of suddenly becoming silent when a Foreigner walks in… it all occurs here. This is just How It Is.

With this critical importance in mind, I found myself at the door of a tavern. This tavern, tucked away within the corner of the Foreign Canton in Vivec, is no secret to the locals, traders, and pilgrims who pass through those halls, yet it blatantly and plainly obfuscates its nature on its very doorstep.

A cursory glance at the scrib-emblazoned banner by the door revealed the name of Black Shalk Cornerclub. Even the casual entomologist or adventurer would understand that a Shalk is not a Scrib, and yet the sign to the establishment casually and confidently proclaims otherwise. This was not the first time I had seen an inn or tavern signified via a scrib banner, and it was a curious lie indeed.

The immediate atmosphere of the Cornerclub was one of a wretched hive, full of scum and villainy. It was absolutely crawling with spies, assassins, Fighter’s Guild enthusiasts, and coin-addled Hlaalu agents. A lizard by the bar watched newcomers as they entered, as though he were expecting someone specific, and upon seeing me did not appear to find what he sought.

I chose to sit — and I must stress that I sat down, rather than stand idly as folks here are keen to do — at a table close to the wall on the upper floor. I sat here for some time, pondering the nature of calling a Shalk a Scrib while levitating roasted ash yams and saltrice bread into my mouth.

It is always a scrib. Why IS it always a scrib?

At this time, two particularly ashy dunmer entered the tavern, visited the bar, and proceeded to shamble over to an adjacent table against the wall. Drinks in hand, they subtly nodded to each other and quietly exclaimed “The Sixth House is risen and lord Dagoth is its glory” before indulging. They did not sit down, of course, but continued standing rather distressingly close to two empty chairs.

The appearance of the average dunmer may already give one cause to be wary, but these two were notably horrid. They possessed eyes which seemed to singularly focus on a distant and invisible object, and their limbs and facial muscles were experiencing bursts of frequent and unnerving spasms. Hideous and gelatinous growths dotted their skin and bulged beneath their clothing. Appearing as if they were slowly being replaced by another material, I could only surmise this was the ultimate fate of those who remain in the Simulacrum for too long.

“It is unfortunate that you were chased out of that house so easily,” one of them said to the other.

“IT WAS A DECENT HOUSE. NOT MY FAVORITE HOUSE.”

“Our initiative is to spread awareness, not find temporary housing.”

Why is it always scribs? For what reason would the importance and prominence of the tavern be represented by the common, lowly, diminutive scrib? Does the scrib possess hidden qualities which would elevate its role in society? Is the scrib meant for more? IS the scrib MORE?

“I LIKE TO SURPRISE THEM WHEN THEY ARE BUSY. THEY DON’T SENSE MY APPROACH WHEN THEY ARE DISTRACTED BY THEIR ADVENTURER NONSENSE.”

“They might listen more enthusiastically if you approached with a bit more tact.”

“YOU CANNOT LET THEM GET A WORD IN OR THEY WILL QUIZ YOU ON ALL MANNER OF INANE AND UNRELATED MATTERS. RUMORS, MY TRADE, SOLSTHEIM…WHY ARE THEY LIKE THIS?”

Their words trailed off again, and in their place crept the reassuring yet alarmingly ever-present voice of the CHIME. Like a tinny static, it permeated the spaces in my thoughts and dug into my copious brain matter like the roots of Tel Uvirith, my new home, fortress, and thinking-space. Its MESSAGE was not wholly clear, but the Spoons already in my possession began to hone and tune it into words.

[Altmer… ~~~…HEED…~~~…a grand purpose…~~~…celestial emissary…~~~…~~~ PROTECT…~~~…~~~scrib…~~~…~~~…~~~prophecy disregard…~~~…~~~…COSMIC DEALINGS….~~~…~~~gesture]

Cosmic dealings? You want me to make contact again? With the gesture?

[…~~~…AFFIRM…~~~provide angles….~~~…]

It is well-known that Cosmic entities are strict adherents of angles. They do not even consider the notion of making Contact with beings who cannot demonstrate angles. But what unknowable and indescribable dealings was I going to make with such a being?

[Altmer…~~~…~~~…bring (10) Cats…~~~…(14) Time…~~~…(400) scribs GET…]

What am I going to do with 400 scribs?

“It was a shameful display. That a native would so quickly seek out the aid of an outlander just to remove a peaceful missionary.”

“A SHAMEFUL DISPLAY. THAT OUTLANDER ENTERED WITH NARY A KNOCK OR A SHOUT, YET I AM THE RUDE ONE?”

“Outlanders don’t knock. If they did, they would be turned away, and then we would not be in this predicament in the first place.”

“THE ONLY GOOD OUTLANDER IS AN OUTLANDER DENIED ENTRY.”

One of them, the more agitated and fanatical of the two, produced a pouch from his robes and removed from it a substance that looked strikingly similar to the growths which marked the two dunmer. He frantically searched the area, seemingly unable to find what he was looking for. He glanced to the adjacent table where I sat, for I had foolishly made eye contact.

“SAY, OUTLANDER, DO YOU HAVE A SPOON YOU ARE NOT USING?”

“I am using all of the spoons currently in my possession, all of the time,” I replied, unable to hide my disgust at the question.

The more diplomatic dunmer blinked at me as he seemed to mull over what I had said. “Ah, we understand, outlander.”

The Fanatic, clearly not understanding, began to shake.

“YOUR POSSESSION? TAKE WHAT YOU CAN, AND LEAVE OUR PLACE, FOR WHEN LORD DAGOTH COMES, THIS WILL BE NO PLACE FOR YOU.”

I could only silently agree that this was not the place for me, though I said nothing as my Sanctuary aura subtly deflected his aggression.

“IT IS TIME WE RETURNED HOME. TO THE HOUSE. THE TRUE HOUSE. THE SLEEPING HOUSE. HOUSE DAGOTH.”

“We are already at the House, brother. It is metaphorical in nature. I am sure you know this. Have you read the pamphlets?”

“WE ARE ONE AMONG THOUSANDS. WE MUST BRING THE MESSAGE.”

The cursed and decrepit dunmer simultaneously rose and began heading for the exit. Plumes of ash swirled and settled in their wake, and the table beside mine was completely coated in a fine layer of the gray sediment. On the table, and in a trail towards the door, were scattered bits of strange and hardened organic material. I would later notice that my skin developed a persistent itch which Divayth Fyr promptly addressed for me in exchange for my promise to stop stealing from him.

Of all the curiosities of the Reality Hallucination I had encountered thus far, the events within the Black Shalk were perhaps the most curious.

A day later, upon my arrival back to Tel Uvirith, I would deliver an important missive to my Mouth, Fast Eddie. It contained instructions to deliver the following message to Raril Giral, publican of the Black Shalk Cornerclub and pawn of the Reality Hallucination. It read as follows:

Black Shalk Cornerclub — 3/5 Spoons. Food was good. Service was okay. I got the Divine disease from one of the other patrons. Not very sanitary. Person at table next to me was a loud and dirty cultist. Misleading signage — no Scribs present. But there will be.

#fiction #gaming #humor #morrowind #house telvanni #the elder scrolls #vivec city #fine dining #curse #health concerns #cultist