Episode Four- The Model, The Lord, The Artist
Use of @rebelrayne’s OC
Narrator voice: Welcome back viewers to another segment of Kidnap and Date- I mean Room Raiders!
We have our boys tucked into the van, and they are waiting for the un-British Brit to make her appearance.
Will was reclined against the side of the van, too busy staring at the silverish white hair of the boy beside him to pay much attention to their conversation. Finally, the boy turned to him, “See something you like?”
“How do you get it that color?”
“Toner. It’s all in the toner.” Will nodded like he was carefully considering the words, his lax posture a far cry from Tom’s stiff polite and pin rod straight stance or even Youcef’s form somewhere between the two.
The screen suddenly flickered to life, a blonde girl appearing with a sleeve of tattoos hanging out of a slimming black tank top, “Howdy boys!”
All three boys blinked. This girl wasn’t British like Will and Tom, or even French like Youcef. She sounded…American.
“The name is Lacey. I’m twenty four, and I ride horses on the British Olympic team. (Is that a thing? It is now.) You boys might notice, but I’m from Florida originally, been living here for years and haven’t managed to pick up the accent yet.”
Will snorted.
Lacey’s beaming smile seemed to plummet Tom’s heart straight to his feet.
Youcef didn’t appear fazed. Even as his room appeared to be first.
Lacey’s cowboy boots clicked against the hardwood as she walked into the first flat, “This place looks high end.” She let out a low whistle, strolling around the couch and barely resisting from kicking her feet up on the coffee table as she sat down, “You don’t spend much time in here, do you? This couch is stiffer than a dressage ride on a competition bronco.”
Youcef scoffed, “As opposed to what? I cannot be…what is the phrase? A sofa pumpkin?”
“A…couch potato?” Will offered uncertainty.
“Oui. That. I cannot do that in my line of work.”
Lacey pulled the gloves on, trailing them over the frames that would hold the photos he had hanging in the hallway and nodding when they came back clean, “They were only supposed to take out pictures you were in. Were these all you? Bit conceited.” She continued on, entering his neat bedroom. Nothing was out of place, so she made the closet her first stop, pulling out random hangers and making faces at the articles she found, “These look like those outfits you see on the runway that no one wears in real life. Is that what you do? Runway or designer, which is it?” Knowing there would be no reply, she returned the hangers to their rightful places. She took the light to his bed and found a stain on his pillow. “Is that what I think it is or did you go to bed too soon after washing hair dye out?” With a loud laugh, she decided it was time for room number two.
“Zut alors. Of course it was dye. I am not an animal.”
“Will, I hope it’s your turn.” When no reply came, they glanced over.
“Mon deux, he fell asleep.” Gently shaking his shoulder, Will’s eyes blinked open, “Mon ami, she might be at your room next.”
“Oh. Cool.” Will closed his eyes again.
Tom called out uncertainly, “Don’t you want to see her impression?”
Will shrugged, unaffected, but sat up to watch.
Tom almost squeaked when he saw her approaching the gate to his estate instead.
“Name, miss?”
“Uh, Lacey.” She blinked at the guard, glancing at the cameraman when the uniformed man told them she wasn’t on the list. “I wouldn’t be? He doesn’t know me. At least not yet.” She winked at the camera, not knowing she was turning him three different shades of red. The producer stepped over as the cameraman ardently aimed to only capture Lacey in the shot, “I’ll probably look like such a gold digger if I pick this boy, geez.” She shook her head, staring at the expanse of estate as a man in a tailored suit ventured out to join them.
“Good evening, miss. I am the sir’s butler, I will be escorting you today.”
Her nose scrunched up, “Please tell me you have a name and I don’t have to refer to you as the butler. Does he really go by sir?”
The man bowed curtly, gesturing her away from the guard toward the manor before giving her a smirk, “Of course not. Tom is fairly down to Earth, as far as the masters I’ve served. As far as my name- I am Alfred Pennysworth.”
Lacey stopped dead, eyes wide, smile that could nearly split her face in two, “Am I about to enter Wayne manor? Is he Batman?”
The twinkle in his eyes alighted, “Ah, so you are familiar with the superhero? Tom’s mother and father did not allow for much frivolity- but a visiting Duke’s son had brought the comics with him when he was a young lad.”
“How young?” She giggled, following him through the social halls but far more intrigued in the story than the regal decor- like it didn’t matter to her.
Tom sat next to Youcef, groaning into his hands as he muttered about Alfred promising not to tell these stories.
“Tom was four, at the time. He became obsessed with the story. Started calling me Alfred, so I changed my name to suit it.”
Her brows shot up in shock, “You changed your name for him?”
He laughed, “It may be difficult to believe, but I have served the family long before he was born.” The elderly man raised his hand, pointing to a framed costume that hung just inside the double doorway of the room he led her to. She couldn’t help but giggle at the black and yellow childrens suit that looked weathered by age and overuse. “He was determined to be Bruce Wayne. And from the day he was born, I held nothing but affection. I’ve never had a child of my own, so my godson was it for me. It may be foolish to change my name to adhere to a child’s fantasy, but if you end up choosing my boy, you’ll see that his endearing nature makes it hard to argue. He never suggested the name change, mind you, but the way he lit up like a Christmas tree when I told him- it was worth it.”
Tom’s face couldn’t get any redder, Youcef feared the blood rush would lead him to passing out, but Will was busy losing his mind in his snickers.
Lacey dabbed at the bit of tears in her eyes as the butler finished speaking, thanking him for sharing, before she pulled on the gloves and made her way around the room. She wasn’t surprised when Alfred followed her, but she giggled when she saw the feather duster he’d pulled from thin air, “Afraid I’ll catch you slipping, Mister Pennysworth?”
He smiled at her, “Simply doing my job and being prepared.”
Lacey smirked at the camera, “Is this going to be a regular thing, room number two? Is Alfred going to join us in the bedroom? He’s not really my type….” She didn’t miss the way he quietly suppressed a laugh and played it off a cough.
Unsurprisingly, she found no dust. But she did find his comics hidden under his bed. Stacked neatly on his dresser she found Cosmo magazine, with articles marked on pleasing women and how to get a date. She thought it was endearing. She gave the butler a hug before moving onto the third room.
“Thank goodness that’s over.” Tom sagged in relief.
Will looked over from where he sat, kicking his feet up into Tom’s lap, “I could help you with that if you want.” Will gave him a devilish smirk as Tom squawked and Youcef snorted.
Lacey stumbled over a few pairs of shoes left too close to the front door as she entered the third flat, “Oh mother fu- Do you not put things away?” She managed to catch herself on the arm of a chair as the cameraman caught her other arm.
The voice muttered off screen, “Are ya alright, lassie?”
“I’m good!” She grinned, shooting the camera a thumbs up. “I’ll be more careful.” She tapped the toes of her boots against the floor, something she did before mounting her horse, like she was checking their security. She started slowly, eyes flicking between the floor and the path ahead. Her fingers traced over faint, dried paint smears, “Are you a painter, number three?” She tapped her fingers against the championship belt buckle that held her suede belt, making her way over discarded clothes and crates of spray paint until she reached his bedroom. The walls were bare of posters- but held a mural. She recognized an isu tree from listening to the friends she’d made at the Olympics. There was a clash of geometric shapes on one side- chaos. The other side held what appeared to be a mix of the sky during day and night. “This is…my god, it’s beautiful.” She gave the room the regular check, laughing when she realized his bed was a hammock. “You’ll fall out that one day.” She said with a shake of head. She opened the beside table, shutting it quickly before the cameraman could get a shot of the joints stowed inside. “Empty,” she shrugged, shooting the camera an awkward straight face smile (😬) to show him she saw, but she wouldn’t rat him out.. She finally spared one last glance at the mural before leaving.
The three boys wandered into her flat, but none of them particularly cared to dig through anything. Tom was too polite, Youcef believed people should get to have secrets, and Will just couldn’t be bothered. They did take time to comment on the things they could see. The medals hanging, from state and country riding tournaments. She had side by side frames, the silver medals she’d won in the first of her events at the 2020 Olympics, as well as the gold from the later ones, alongside her team jacket. Will let out a whistle as he tapped the frame, “She is an achiever.”
“Which is good…right?” Tom cocked his head a bit, like he really wasn’t sure. Youcef nodded to him anyway.
They didn’t have time to look for much else before the front door was opening and they heard her boots clicking in. “Howdy there, boys!”
Youcef took her hand, pressing a kiss to the back, while Will just offered a nod of acknowledgment. Tom was too frozen seeing her in person, his brain just repeatedly playing the record she’s pretty she’s pretty she’s pretty she’s pre-
“So I gotta eliminate one of you off the bat, right? Gotta be room number one,” she pinched the one side of her face up, arms extended tightly with her hands clasped together, “It’s the closet honestly. Those clothes, my guy- I can’t picture someone actually wearing that stuff.”
“Maybe you can look up the pictures sometime.” Youcef winked, kissing her hand once more before exiting the apartment.
She blinked, glancing back at him before looking at the other guys, “Okay then. The second would have to be room number three. I’m sorry, your painting was beautiful, but your flat was absolute chaos.”
“What is chaos if not the deconstruction of order?” Her brow furrowed, but Will just smiled like it made total sense and walked out.
Lacey smiled at Tom, “To be honest, it was Alfred’s story that really sold me on you.” His face flushed again, but she just giggled, “It was cute! People might still think I’m a gold digger for picking you,” she gestured to her awards, “but I clearly have my own income. I just want to get to know the man baby Batman grew up to be.”
Tom smiled, nodding. He was still mortified that story was told, but at least he got a date with a beautiful girl because of it.
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