I dream of being a mother. I know it’s my destiny. I plan what school I will send them to, I already buy parenting books, I research childhood psychology, I collect ideas on activities to do with them one day.
I dream of being a housewife. I plan cleaning routines, dinners, and decorating ideas. I know it’s what *I’m* supposed to do.
I love this blog and I love being able to share my love for it with all of you.
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Another of my long time friends is getting married. I’m starting to think there’s something wrong with me
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04/06/2023
Dear diary:
My day today was more stressful and didn't take any pictures, so I decided to share an older picture and tell you about it.
This is a letter I wrote to an old penpal of mine, Max. It's one of my favourite letters I sent. I think it's very very pretty.
I used to penpal. And I had a lot of friends all over the world I wrote letters to. But not anymore. It's a hobby I'd like to have again.
I love letters, writing and receiving them. There's the expectation, the wait, and feeling the connection to someone else through a physical object.
I love letters, feeling someone else's feelings through the words they wrote to me weeks before. It's like looking into the future when you write them, and into the past when you receive them.
I just love letters. Not as remnants of the past long gone, but as a type of connection that can't be achieved in the same way with modern texting. Not to say texting is bad, it has it's good things, like how fast it is. But I do feel, sometimes what we need is to slow down.
Today's quote:
"One sees clearly only through the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eyes." - Antoine de Saint-Exupéry.
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I feel defeated today. As i do every week, i went to the store to buy groceries. There were 3 men i never seen before.
They were large, stong looking men. No tatoos or peircings. Not married because they weren't wearing rings. They looked like cowboys from the past.
i followed them around the store to get them to notice me but they didnt ask me if i was single or talk to me or ANYTHING. I feel ashamed and embarassed but i can never get a good man to notice me.
I pray every day for a husband but God is always testing me. He is keeping me from the 1 thing i live for..
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I’m so looking forward to being a housewife, however if I have to look at another listing for a house that is a white box with grey flooring I’m going to bury myself in the yard.
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Has anyone got any questions? Let’s chat a bit.
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I have not been terribly active here recently as I have been recovering from some miserable illness that has me resting all day long. I sincerely appreciate all those who continue to follow my blog.
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