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Engineering Building 5/7
University of Waterloo, Canada
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death of passion
I put on a wine red lip gloss at work the other day. It was the same shade my friend wore earlier that day. Her lips and mouth are shaped differently than mine - almost opposite. But even knowing that, I still wondered why I didn't look the same as her.
The other night I had a dream that I was going back to school. I was going to apply to an English program, which is what I’ve thought about doing for a while. I think I squashed that idea because I didn’t know what I would want to do with that degree.
I don’t like wearing dark lipstick because it makes me look the way I looked when I was 14.
I get anxious when I leave the house without my favourite lipstick on me. I’ve avoided kisses in the past because I know it will come off and I will be exposed. I often think about how smoothly I’d walk through my day-to-day if my lipstick never rubbed off.
During the span of four years, I’ve been set to start four-year BAs in three different departments at UofW: Anthropology, History of Art, and Theatre and Film. I studied communications in 2020 stopped in 2021.
I wanted to be an actress in the spring of 2023. I spent a lot of money on online acting classes that were based out of a studio in Toronto; it was just a few blocks from my friend’s apartment at the time.
My first assignment was a monologue from Erin Brockovich. I performed it for my class after two weeks of practising my lines and delivery, and some of my classmates told me that my performance gave them goosebumps. My second and last assignment was one of Anne Hathaway’s monologues from Rachel Getting Married. I read off a script with a rock in my gut as I performed the monologue to the class. After getting through the second half of the text, I knew I didn’t want to do it anymore. I gave up - I wasn’t any good and I felt too shy.
“I’m too anxious and I can’t get into character. All I keep thinking about is if I look bad and if I’m doing well or not,” I admitted to my instructor.
He ghosted me on Facebook Messenger when I told him I didn’t think acting was for me anymore. I think he was either disappointed or he didn’t care because he had too many things to worry about. Maybe he was confused and wondering what happened - I know I was.
How do you even act? To act is to not act - is that what they say?
“An ounce of behaviour is worth a pound of words,”
and that sort of stuff.
It’s beyond me. Before I quit, I bought Michael Caine’s book “Acting in Film: An Actor's Take on Movie Making” at my old thrift store job and I read a few pages. I felt more inspired than I ever had before because I thought my new goal in life was to become a great actress and to be like Emma Stone or Julia Roberts. La La Land came out when I was in high school and everyone watched it but me. I watched it for the first time with Lauren and Jenna when we started doing wine + movie nights and they for some reason wanted to watch a musical every time.
I was like,
“I will never watch Les Mis and I will never watch La La Land,”
and I ended up watching both and loving them. I listened to I Dreamed A Dream around nine times in a row the day after watching Les Mis. I listened to it on YouTube because I wanted to watch the scene, too. I listened to it after getting off the bus to go to an employment program-thing. I was going through something at the time and it was really funny.
★ Maybe you can listen to it in the background while you read the rest of this post.
“There was a time when men were kind...”
I watched La La Land twice and I cried even harder the second time around. I watched it again with my mom and I couldn’t get past Emma Stone’s first song because I couldn’t stop sobbing. I thought it was so beautiful that her character was following such a big dream - a dream I could’ve had if I was passionate or good enough. I was also on my period, so my mom and I ended up getting into a spat because she wasn’t interested in the movie and I was offended because it meant a lot to me at the time.
I’ve felt passion, adrenaline and sureness in my bones only a few times. I felt genuine passion and sureness one evening in February of 2020. We played a show (the last one before the pandemic stopped the world dead in its tracks) and I had so much fun on stage that night. I felt so proud and sure of myself, that the second the set ended, I told everyone that this is what I want to do with my life.
I performed a few scenes in high school for a play called Love and Information by Caryl Churchill. The play has no set descriptions, props, characters, and almost no direction - just lines. We got to choose our own scenes and pull every detail from our imaginations. I think about it a lot and how passionate my class and I got about changing and adding little details in our scenes. I went back to the drama room close to the end of the school year and looked around at all the props in the back. There was a battered, armless doll leaning on a fake fridge behind the curtains. It reminded me of cooking in those toy kitchens in kindergarten. Plastic steaks and the sizzling sound the stove would make when you turned the knobs. Fake sink and empty cupboards. Fridge with plastic bananas and apples. I’d always want to play in the kitchen, but so did every other kid. It was a battle if you came to school wanting to cook a sirloin because every other child wanted to do the exact same thing. It makes me sad that I can’t remember more from back then.
I’m 22 and I’ve been trying to meal prep. I walk on the treadmill at 4.8kph and go to work 3-4 times a week. I spent $60 on groceries this week and accidentally marked them for pickup instead of delivery, so I had to ask my parents to pick them up for me because I can’t drive. I regret being mean in elementary school. I wore my cap too low on the back of my head at graduation. I love kissing. I budget. I will be 29 someday. My scalp is coming up with shiny silver baby hairs. I fry frozen dumplings in a real pan on a real stove.
Every kid in my kindergarten class got a pair of orange safety scissors on the first day of school and I hope my mom still has mine.
★
Emily
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⚡️ Saturday night hangs!! ⚡️ Eddie Vedder hangs from the rafters at the Pearl Jam concert Drop in the Park in Seattle, Washington 1992 📸 taken by Lance Mercer. “Vedder became notorious for climbing and hanging off the stage during performances. “That was actually a tame one compared to others,” Mercer recalls of their legendary Drop in the Park show in 1992. 💥 A punter recalls “Most amazing thing I've seen with my own eyes at a concert. He slid down the wire after this down to the stage. You couldn't just buy tickets to the show, it was announced over the radio where they were being sold real time and people mad dashed to Seattle Center. Then they tell you where you had to go on the day of the show (UofW) and bussed everyone to the park. The Secret Show. What a great day. Cypress Hill opened.” 💥 Pearl Jam’s debut album was released today 31 years ago on August 27 1991.. cover shot also taken by Lance Mercer @lancemphoto … here’s to the nineties grunge bunnies!! 🎸🐰Peace & Love ✌️❤️🎶 @pearljam @eddievedder #pearljam #pearljamten #ten #eddievedder #lancemercer #grunge #nineties #seattle #rockandroll #musichistory #musicphotography #legendsneverdie #rockroyalty #jeffament #stonegossard #mikemccready #dropinthepark #evenflow #alive #hang #livemusic #rocknroll #blendergallery (at Blender Gallery) https://www.instagram.com/p/ChwjP98vOTU/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
#pearljam#pearljamten#ten#eddievedder#lancemercer#grunge#nineties#seattle#rockandroll#musichistory#musicphotography#legendsneverdie#rockroyalty#jeffament#stonegossard#mikemccready#dropinthepark#evenflow#alive#hang#livemusic#rocknroll#blendergallery
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university of washington, seattle, wa
jan2020
#photography#uw#universityofwashington#seattle#snow#winter#dark academia#photooftheday#photographers on tumblr#photo#architecture#university#academia#uofw
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...near the University of Washington.
From the archives.
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Good morning shop! And happy September friends! Manitoba summers are hot and beautiful and full of festivals and friends and beach days, and I’ve been soaking it all up... and maybe just a little distracted from my responsibilities. 🤷♀️ But the autumn routine is starting up, we are looking forward to seeing at the students return to the area, and I should be back up to speed ... soon. 🙃 #reading #love #fall #autumn #bookstore #winnipeg #booksellerlife #manitoba #uofw (at BISON BOOKS) https://www.instagram.com/p/B19MJX-AM2l/?igshid=1n66n3dqar0w5
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Suzzallo and Allen Libraries - Seattle, WA, USA by Ashleigh D.
#canon#canon70d#color#colour#explore#photo#photography#seattle#seattlewa#washington#washingtonstate#travel#university#universityofwashington#uofw#Suzzallo#Allen#Libraries#architecture#buildings#building#historic#old#library#school
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Peter’s Posse... Friday night paintball fun. #friday #night #uofw #waterloo #residence #university #gopeter (at Flag Raiders Paintball) https://www.instagram.com/p/BvVPWR_BQ5f/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1h0780acwfkqt
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Peptides for Oral Health
Peptides for Oral Health
“Remineralization Guided by Peptides”
A few years ago, researchers at the University of Washington discovered a product that helps to reverse tooth decay. With this product, they are creating a technology using natural substances to boost the repair of damaged teeth. The research is ongoing, but if the federal government approves its use, we will have another strong supporter in the fight against…
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Engineering Building 5/7
University of Waterloo, Canada
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Vintage University of Washington Huskies Hat by Starter
Cali Vintage Finds on eBay
#vintage#vintagehat#uofw#huskies#universityofwashington#washington#vintagestarter#startercap#snapback#sunglasses
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A beautiful gold seam ring with tapered CZ by @alchemyadornment! Come@see the beautiful pieces we have in store by this amazing Canadian line 🇨🇦 . . . #Alchemyadornments #seamring #gold #cz #goldseptum #septum #septumpiercing #septumjewelry #goldseptum #canadianmade #Canadian #piercings #legitbodyjewelry #waterloo #uofw #laurier #perfectimage #perfectimagewaterloo (at Perfect Image Waterloo)
#septumpiercing#canadian#uofw#legitbodyjewelry#perfectimagewaterloo#canadianmade#septum#laurier#cz#alchemyadornments#gold#waterloo#perfectimage#goldseptum#piercings#septumjewelry#seamring
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University of Washington Huskies ⚽️🏈 #huskies #godawgs #PurpleReign 🟣 #ncaa #uofw #universityofwashington #huskynation #ncaafootball #pac12 #collegefootball #collegebaseball 🏀 #collegebasketball ⚾️#pnwsports #pnw (at University of Washington) https://www.instagram.com/p/CCl5irGJcgA/?igshid=14a2rkwcgcham
#huskies#godawgs#purplereign#ncaa#uofw#universityofwashington#huskynation#ncaafootball#pac12#collegefootball#collegebaseball#collegebasketball#pnwsports#pnw
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SELEUSS - CHERRY BLOSSOMS IN SEATTLE
SELEUSS, SEATTLE, APRIL 14TH, 2020: On my walk to the post office during the quarantine! Yes, we are still allowed to go outside and exercise! Didn’t make over to the Cherry Blossoms at the University of Washington, but these were just as enjoyable!
https://www.washington.edu/news/2020/03/05/uw-quad-cherry-blossoms-expected-to-peak-last-week-of-march/
https://www.washington.edu/news/2019/02/21/historic-2019-snowstorms-in-seattle-not-expected-to-slow-down-cherry-blossoms/
https://facilities.uw.edu/blog/posts/2018/03/09/blooming-blossoms
https://www.tripsavvy.com/view-cherry-blossoms-in-seattle-2965307
https://seattle.curbed.com/maps/sakura-cherry-blossom-trees-seattle
https://www.seattlemag.com/northwest-travel-and-outdoors/where-see-cherry-blossoms-seattle
http://cherryblossomfest.org/
Enjoy these on your next visit to Seattle! Hope to see you after the quarantine!
SELEUSS Chocolates is located at the Thompson Hotel Seattle complex in downtown Seattle right above the Pike Place Market on the corner of 1st Ave and Stewart street.
1910 1st Ave, Seattle, WA 98101
www.SELEUSS.com
www.SELEUSSChocolates.com
https://www.facebook.com/seleuss
https://www.instagram.com/seleuss
https://twitter.com/SELEUSS
{Purveyors of Haute Chocolate}™
#SELEUSS#seattle#seattlecherryblossom#uwcherryblossom#universityofwashington#uofw#cherryblossoms#cherryblossomsseattle#Seattlespring#springinseattle
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