#using a lot of tags due to this being triggering for many and cause I want it to be seen

[soulren]

Go spend some time on male pattern baldness or male(AMAB) balding forums/subreddits and such. I did after realizing it is happening to me and the ammount of people who truly don't realize how BRUTALLY it tanks people's confidence and mental health is insane.

There's no cure to baldness by the way, and it can start at any time and there's no way to predict how fast or slow it will go. The only real working option is a daily pill that usually just halts it, but it can stop working or just slow it down or cause major side effects. To regrow you have to use a daily topical solution, or use a roller to wound your scalp. None of these are surefire by the way, and if you stop them you'll just lose your hair and whatever you regained. It's a daily involved thing that might not work and often at best just retains. The best drug, the one that occasionaly gives regrowth, also causes shedding at the start, and can have side effects from growing breasts to brain fog to EDsyfunction(sorry, censoring cause tumblr). Now, those are INCREDIBLY rare and almost never happen but it weighs heavily on the mind of those already spiraling.

But that's just background. What I'm here to talk about is the pure woe you'll see on those forums. People speak as though their lives are over, as though they've lost every chance of finding a woman(predominantly, there's a running idea in such places that women don't like bald men or like them less) or doing anything. You can read countless stories of people who describe that they no longer go outside, are now filled with anxiety and self-hate, have gone from extroverted to never showing their face. And some of these people are kids who lost their hair in high school or even before, or are holding as best they can to a very receded hairline and feel like there is nothing they can do.

And then there's something touched upon far less in those communities, but is important to bring up here; baldness and masculinity. There's the horror of knowing so much of society sees a bald guy as a very masculine guy, at seeing that the best advice for being hot and bald is "grow and beard and big muscles bro". Imagine now you're AMAB balding and nonbinary, or a trans woman who doesn't want to be on hormones.

Just genuinely take the time to look at those forums no matter who you are. Understand what these people go through, what I am currently going through. It is soul-crushing, spiraling, brutal. I have the dream of one day being like Brennan Lee Mulligan or Matt Mercer and starting to lose my hair made me feel like I could never. I felt like and still feel like I would have to be masculine, have to be a bro-y dude, have to look older than I was(I'm fuckin 22). It was the feeling that I could never dress feminine again, never present as a woman when I wanted to again, that I'd always be viewed as a bald guy before anything else.

This is an incredibly vulnerable post for me, and I hope it reaches you all as well in a kind and understanding mood. There's a tendency online for people to joke about baldness, to make fun of it, to treat it as a playfull silly thing but it fucking ruins lives, and it shouldn't. It happens to half the population's sort of bodies and very often. It should just be a neutral thing. You don't need long hair to be feminine, you don't need hair to be feminine. You don't need hair for anything. I guess I'm just saying in general that everyone should be kinder about balding, more understanding, and view it with as much import as they'd view the pixels between this sentence and the next. None at all, I mean.

And for those like me, very feminine guys who wanna keep that and don't want a beard and are terrified of balding, here's some names and I do hope others that see this will add more; Mr. Bruce (also in The Correspondents(band) Alex Ward in LA By Night Jason Carl in LA By Night Cecil Baldwin of Welcome To Night Vale Bob The Drag Queen RuPaul(in looks alone, I know about the whole fracking stuff but this post is about looks) tananasho on instagram Also your mannerisms and style of dress will convey femininity far more than your hair. Yea sure a front-on neutral shot of you may not and maybe you need makeup and stuff, and hell maybe a lot of people might reject you more but it'll just filter down to the people for you.

And to all you artists and writers and creatives; make more bald characters. Try it out. Feminine ones, masculine ones, all sorts. None of the copout nonhuman sort, just dudes and girls and mates and individuals who are all sorts of things and also bald. It might make a few of the people going through the various vortexes of pain that balding causes feel a bit better.

And to those noticing I did not adress female hair loss much here, that was intentional. I am AMAB and currently a nonbinary guy who goes by any pronouns but often likes to present as fem. I learned I was possibly losing my hair and lost two months of my life, no work or going or anything, to male hair loss forums and research and spiraling. Checking my hair twenty times a day, unable to sleep, unable to eat, unable to think. And my situation was NOT unique, but it also did not give me any experience or understanding of female hair loss and what AFAB people may go through with that, so I don't feel knowledgeable enough to speak on it. Also living with baldness WILL get easier and you will find something that works for it, by virtue of simply living with it. Things get easier with time.

#bald #balding #hair loss #hair #hair care #minoxidil #dermaroller #baldness #bald and feminine #bald fem #using a lot of tags due to this being triggering for many and cause I want it to be seen #and because I want those who went through what I did to be able to find it #mpb #androgen alopecia #also I know this post is long but I'm not sorry cause it's important. If even one person has a bit less stress then that's good. #feminine bald man

[r6shippingdelivery]

There’s been a lot of talk about AO3 and censorship lately, due to one of the candidates to the OTW board. And I realised I have very strong Opinions:tm: about censorship and the freedom AO3 stands for.

Censorship is not a solution. It doesn’t work and it’s not even easily agreed upon where the line should be drawn. What some people might deem as immoral or reprehensible is not the same others will consider so. For example, you and me can agree that sexual stories about minors turn our stomach, yet other people would also include LGBT+ content there, even the sfw ones, and others might decide that any sexual content at all is immoral. So, how do we agree about what to ban, when nothing of it is even illegal?

because let’s be honest, it’s all fiction. As in, not real. Things like incest, rape and pedophilia are illegal irl, but not in fiction. Cause they’re not harming anyone. Really. You can find it disgusting, I certainly do, but I also recognize no person, no actual human, is harmed in the making of those stories. Because they’re made up and about made up characters. I won’t seek it out, and if I see someone making that kind of content I will most probably avoid them/block them (without harassing them), but they have the right to create any kind of fiction they want.

It always baffles me how readily understood that is when it comes to murder and violence in fiction. Nobody thinks that someone who writers murder mysteries or procedural shows really wants to go out and kill people. However, as soon as it’s about sex, people are up in arms ready to believe that those make believe scenarios are an indicative of someone’s real desires. Why is that? And since we’re on the topic of double standards: why are people clutching their pearls about fanfic, but literature gets a free pass, more or less? You go into a library and you’ll find lots of books with shocking and distasteful topics, including those that contain pedophilic content (like Lolita, to put a famous example), incest (Game of Thrones, among many others), rape, murder, etc. But they want me to believe that fanfic, the medium with severely impaired social acceptance and magnitudes smaller reach, is the actual problem that will “normalize” those ideas? Nah fam, I smell a moral panic, and people finding fanfic writers easier to bully into submission. Because this is all about controlling what forms of creative expression are deemed acceptable. Fanfic IS a form of art, popular art if you will, but still art. And by virtue of how AO3 is designed, it’s ridiculously easy to never see the kind of stories that you find objectionable.

Tags are a wonderful thing. I can specify what I want and what I don’t want in my story results when searching! Tags are the author being responsible and giving due warning. Especially the “dead dove: do not eat” tag, it lets you know that the content of the story will have questionable content, proceed at your own risk or keep scrolling. Same as the “chose to not use archive warnings” that one is a warning in itself that the story might contain triggering/upsetting content, and it’s the prerogative of each reader to decide whether they’re comfortable continuing reading or not. Ultimately, it’s all about taking responsibility for one’s decisions. People who are in favor of censorship in AO3 either don’t know how to control and curate what materials they access, or feel entitled to everyone else taking their morals into account instead of taking responsibility for their own experience in the archive.

None of the stories on AO3 is illegal. Fictional stories are not illegal, not even those dealing with unsavory topics. The archive makes people agree to continue reading whenever you click on a story with a certain rating (or without any rating at all, just in case!), so the reader is giving their consent to continue reading, they’re making an informed choice. Same as with the tags. They’re there, they’re a warning. If someone reads the tags, finds them displeasing and still continues reading, that’s on them. If I find a story with tags about rape/non-con, for example, I keep scrolling. Cause I know I will find the story displeasing and upsetting. The people clutching their pearls and going “but think of the children!” are, mostly, people who refuse that responsibility and ask the world to accommodate them and their morality. And then throw around words like pedohilia and accusations of “kiddie porn” careleslly, watering down the seriousness of such accusations. No, an explicit fanfic of twin, underage siblings going at it is not CSA. Cause there’s no real children involved in it. It might be disgusting for a lot of people (me included), understandably, but you can 100% avoid reading it and interacting with the people who write those. 

Finally, let’s not forget the recent history of fandom spaces, shall we? LiveJournal and Fanfiction.net both had purges of content, after some campaigns for censorship gained traction and popularity. So now everything relating to certain topics is eliminated! Well, except that also includes communities of support for survivors of sexual abuse (it happened in LJ). Well, except that the people pressuring for censorship weren’t happy with the gay smut either, so a lot of LGBT related stuff is now also gone! (happened both in LJ and ff.net). Except, in some countries anything sexual at all, is frowned upon, so why not ban that too? Censorship supporters will always move the goalposts, forever shifting their aim whenever they accomplish something. Because it’s easier and more comfortable to make others conform to their standards than accepting some artistic expressions will be uncomfortable to some people. And trust me, none of them will care if the dark fic in question was written by a survivor of similar experiences trying to cope with their trauma or raise awareness, or if it was done simply for titillation or to safely explore different scenarios in fiction. And the topics that were banned in those websites didn’t disappear at all, they just weren’t properly warned for/detailed in the summaries, so anyone could stumblre upon them by accident. The complete opposite of what happens in AO3.

AO3 was created by people who lived through those censorship events in different fandom spaces, as a response to it. To seeing whole communities and swathes of fan content being unceremoniously deleted overnight. AO3 is an archive and an online library, not a social media platform. It’s a safe haven for anyone to host their fan creations, but that doesn’t mean it’s a safe space as people understand the term in other platforms. In AO3 you make your safe space by using the tags. Because that is the only real way we can have a safe haven for EVERYONE. 

The thing about freedom of speech is that sometimes, you have to defend things you dislike (that, I repeat, are legal in this case), because experience has shown time and time again that as soon as you give an inch to the censors, they take more and more. And today they’re up in arms about “pedophilic fanfics”, but once that is done? It might be all nsfw content, it might be trans related content, it might be something else. But it will happen. 

#ao3 #fanfiction #fanfic #censorship #freedom of speech #anti anti #okay I'm entering the discourse I'm sorry

[tag-that-oc]

Do you have any Ocs you’d like to talk about??

oh boy do i

im gonna introduce my scrungly my poor little meow meow my pathetic loser the love of my life. Arvid Sheldon Moreno <3

ill add trigger tags too of course but just in case: warning for abuse, violence, death, and kidnapping

first of all i am a Terrible artist but here's a commission i got of him from the lovely jester @/ghostcasket (with commissions still open here is the info post. go commission them he's wonderful)

anyways. ARVID. basically he's a second generation oc from the project me and the other mod have. he is like. 3/4 alien?? something like that. but he was born on earth and that's where he grew up.

his parents are lovely and perhaps very strange but they are so good to their kids. Arvid is a mama's boy in particular he is very close to her and very protective of her.

so. what's wrong with him then???? surely he has Every Problem Ever. well he does. when he was a kid he didn't really have any friends. he was outcasted and bullied from various sources but none more so than Alex. fuck Alex we hate that guy.

Alex caused problems for Arvid basically his whole life. he was harassed and followed and beaten and manipulated and. well a lot of things!!

Arvid met and became friends with Izan who was infinitely better for Arvid and nicer and they were just really close. however that didn't stop Alex from being an asshole ya know. and it got even worse when Izan broke off from Arvid due to trying to manage his own trauma of a recent event unrelated to Arvid's stuff

so what did Arvid do? he clung to Alex and they became "friends". during this time Alex really drilled into Arvid's head the idea that he shouldn't cry, that he was weak, that no one else could tolerate him, and Arvid believed it all. things escalated until Alex and one of his other friends attacked and stabbed Arvid during a time when Izan and Arvid were trying to patch things up. and they left him there.

Izan got him help, but Arvid refused to let Alex get into trouble. in fact he had a strong fondness and loyalty to him and so what did he do? he confessed that he was in love with Alex. and Alex, ever amused and delighted by the power and control he had over Arvid, accepted his confession and they started dating.

and they didn't break up for a really really long time!

however this is all the backstory info! (well not all of his backstory but Some of it) this isn't even taking into account the story events! the story events being Arvid and his entire family gets kidnapped and taken to an alien planet because these fucked up brothers were trying to get and erase information on the esp experiments that happened during the first generation (meaning the things Arvid's parents went through) and. well long story short Dawson (does anyone remember when i talked about him?) was forced by his older brothers to kill Arvid and his mom. fucked up!!

but it's okay, isn't it? yeah Arvid comes back to life thanks to a wish made by Dawson on this super powerful wish granting magical rock. and they all live happily ever after on earth!

but not really.

when Arvid gets back he discovers that in addition to being brought back to life, he's now immortal. which is the LAST thing he wants because he didn't even want to be brought back to life if he was being honest. and Alex being the wonderful person he is decides to use this to his advantage (basically isn't it fun to kill your boyfriend over and over while he remains blindly loyal to you? Alex seems to think so)

however Arvid has other relationship drama going on. he has feelings for soo many other people but didn't feel worthy enough to be in a relationship with any of them. why would anyone ever like him back ya know?

except a lot of them did like him back. a lot actually. and Arvid starts dating others and building this lovely little polycule of people who really and genuinely love and care about him. and it takes a long time, but eventually Arvid breaks things off with Alex and tries to be happy. key word being that he tries because sometimes he doesn't do a very good job of it. he's still got it in his head that he deserves to suffer and will go on self destructive spirals now that he doesn't have a boyfriend beating him to shit constantly anymore.

some fun facts about Arvid is that he's a supervillain. i mean not Really a supervillain but he's a loser and tells everyone that he's evil. type of guy to steal from large corporations but not from local places. but this is all evil deeds he swears it. he also has plans to take over the world which he only shares with people he really trusts. he's so lame <3

he's also extremely emotional and will cry really easily but. well due to Alex Reasons he will belittle himself for showing sadness. he is obsessed with people seeing him as strong when his 5'3 ass can't even open a pickle jar

Arvid is also very very soft and sensitive about bugs he loves bugs!!! they were his best friends back when he didn't have any friends and even now he still treats them so gently. it's a really cool contrast to his usual edgy personality.

also!! he has really bad luck all the time <3 constantly tripping over stuff and falling in puddles and breaking his phone and. other bad luck stuff.

anyways i hope you enjoyed my insane ramblings about my scrungy little guy

#fishe speaks #fishe ocs #love it when you guys ask about my ocs i have so many and so much to say about them all :3 #abuse #tw abuse #violence #tw violence #death #tw death #kidnapping #tw kidnapping #tw knife #side note this is just a basic overview of arvid he has So Much more infos

[multiplicity-positivity]

not to like drag you into syscourse but the whole reason we bacame anti endo was do to the amount of hate-harrasment we got from endo systems, we have had we to many endo systems tell us that we deserve our truama and-or that our trauma wasnt enough to make us into a systems + the amount of endo systems that tell us that we have it better/easier because we formed from trauma and that we can get a dignoses easier do to that then endo system (and some more private stuff we wont bother you with) it just made us really distust endo systems but we want to become pro endo but have no idea if its even worth it or even safe for us do to the trama we got form pro endo blogs

(had the courage to send this do to the ask of one other anti endo annon that wanted to become pro enod,also sorry this came out venty then i wanted to )

hey, thanks for coming to us with this. we’re really glad you did. we welcome any anti endo here who is willing to listen, learn, and be vulnerable with us. we’re all systems here, we’re all people, and we’re all capable of positive growth and change for the better.

this got long, and pretty heavy. so it’s going under a cut to spare those who aren’t interested. if syscourse is a trigger for your system, please scroll on!

we’re sorry to hear you’ve been hurt or harassed by pro endos in the past. we have, too. in fact, we have split an alter in the past due to a pro endo harassing us and spreading cruel rumors about us online. we’ve been called an abuser by pro endos due to our antiracist stance and activism. we’ve also been told by pro endos that we deserved the abuse that we went through as a toddler that caused our disorder to form. so we get that distrust, anon. we really, truly do.

it’s gotten so bad for us that we avoid calling ourselves “pro endo” outright. do we love, support, cherish, and believe endogenic systems? absolutely. do we want to uplift them and help them feel welcome in the plural community? without a doubt. but we cannot bring ourselves to call our system “pro endo” specifically due to the harm we’ve faced from pro endos in the past.

but the thing is, the harsh and violent words from a few pro endos should not reflect on the validity of all endogenic systems or endogenic plurality as a whole. some pro endos can be really mean, especially online. but that doesn’t change the fact that most endo systems are just out here existing, attempting to live their best lives and avoid being fakeclaimed and harassed by people who don’t know them. we have had the privilege of meeting dozens of endo systems in our time running this blog - nearly all of which were thoughtful, kind, and caring folks who don’t spend time harassing other systems in any way, shape or form.

anon, you can in fact be supportive of endo systems without ever interacting with them directly. you can educate yourself and attempt to learn more without ever calling yourself “pro endo.”

if this interests you, we’d really encourage you to try browsing some endo friendly tags on tumblr to get a feel for plurality without trauma and those who identify that way. (note: please block the “#radqueer” tag before doing this, as a lot of radqueers will clog the endo tags with posts. endogenic plurality has nothing to do with radqueers, despite some folks saying otherwise.)

the “#pluralgang” tag is absolutely amazing. you could also check out “#plurality,” “#actually plural,” “#endo safe,” “#endo friendly,” and “#endogenic.” by just scrolling the tags, you can try to expose yourself to some endo systems without committing to following anyone or interacting directly. maybe this could help you work through some of that distrust.

of course, if you do reach a point where you feel comfortable calling yourself pro endo, go for it! there are tons of amazing, wonderful pro endos here on tumblr who surely would welcome you into their spaces. but you don’t have to directly engage or identify with that specific label in order to be supportive and accepting of endogenic plurality. it’s okay to listen to others with different life experiences and support different system origins without identifying with the pro endo label.

we’re always here, happy to field any further questions you may have or provide resources if you’re hoping to learn more. and we truly are wishing you the very best in your future. we’re sorry this got so long, but we hope it can help put your mind at ease a bit, or at least help you feel a little less alone.

if any endogenic systems sees this and feels comfortable interacting with anti endos who are willing to learn, feel free to comment or reblog this post so anon can maybe find some endo systems who they can potentially follow without facing any backlash. no pressure, of course! again, we do think that everyone is capable of positive change, and past anti endos or ex anti endos should always be welcomed in our spaces with open arms.

#oh anon… we really do have nothing but well wishes for you #we hope you can find peace comfort and a better understanding of endogenic plurality in your future #some trigger tags: #syscourse #anti endo #pro endo #trauma #harassment #fakeclaiming #abuse

[theswiftheartsystem]

@returntothesoup asks:

“Hi! We’re new to interacting with more systems and are unfamiliar with some terms folks us! Any chance you could throw out some definitions for like plurals and multiples and stuff? We just became aware on a grand sense in the last couple years and are working through a lot of stuff alone. Happy to find systems to get to know🫶🏻🩷”

Hello! Welcome to the Tumblr community! It can be toxic at times, so please take care of your mental health! You can block certain tags (like triggers, or communities and such!

Origin: this is referring to what causes the system to form, the most common ones used are Traumagenic, and Endogenic, however it is a spectrum, and also some systems are multi-origin!

Traumagenic: This is referring to systems formed due to childhood trauma. This does not mean every alter is created by trauma.

Endogenic: A spectrum term that refers to systems who formed without trauma. This does not mean they do not have trauma, or that they are faking, it just means they experience plurality outside of what the mainstream idea of plurality is. A example is religious formed systems! (Also to clarify, when I say it’s a spectrum term, look at it like how non-binary is used, some people use it as a label, and some use it as a spectrum, neither is less valid then the other.

Tulpamancy: although a lot of the time this gets grouped with Endogenic, I’d thought I’d explain it since it is quite different. For one, there is many names that are used to describe this. Obviously Tulpamancy, but also Willowgenic, Tulpagenic and Thoughtform. This basically describes the experience of creating a being in your mind sometimes called a Tulpa. This practice originates from an ancient Tibetan Buddhist practice.

Splitting/Forming: Splitting is when an alter splits a part of themselves off and creates a fragment, and/or alter. It is possible to split multiple alters at once. Forming is a term that a lot of Endo systems in our experience prefer. Personally we like to use the term when the alter didn’t split off from trauma, but both can be used interchangeably a lot of the time.

Fusion: This is when two or more alters fuse together and create a different alter that is not the same, but all of them at once in a sense (a good way to think of this, is if you put two things of playdoh together and mush it into one, it’s now both of those colors and together they make a new color! Both colors are still there, but they are now mixed together.) Also this is not the same thing as integration. Fusion isn’t always a good thing, and can be caused by traumatic events.

Integration: This is the process of Amnesia barriers lessening. This leads to better communication and less black outs and grey outs.

Blurry: Blurry is when you cannot tell who’s in front.

Blended: Multiple alters are blended together while in front. This can go hand and hand with being Blurry very easily.

Co-Con: This is usually when alters talk to each other outside the inner world! This describes one or more alter is in front, and one or more alters who are conscious, but are not fronting.

Co-Fronting: This is when two or more alters are fronting, but aren’t blended. A example would be: one alter can control the body, while one controls speaking.

Headspace: So some systems use this to describe that little area in your head where you and alters talk, but some use it to describe that and the innerworld.

Innerworld: This is a world internally that alters often go when they aren’t fronting. Not every alters can enter into the innerworld. It’s very common for host to not be able to enter, especially at the beginning. Some systems don’t even have innerworlds as well.

Alters/Headmates/Parts: These are the most common terms to describe different beings within one body. Alters is used most in Traumagenic spaces, while Headmate is very commonly used in Endogenic spaces. These terms can be used by all systems regardless of origin. (We personally feel most comfortable with alters, which is why we have been using it in this post.)

Switching: This is when alters switch who’s in front.

Anyway, that’s some basic terminology! If you, or anyone else would like more of this, feel free to use the ask box! We made it so you can be anonymous now!

-Anthy

#did #did osdd #dissociative identity disorder #did system #endo friendly #pro endo #traumagenic system #actually plural #endo safe #ask #request #Traumagenic #endogenic #tulpa #tulpamancy #thoughtforms #willowgenic #osdd #System terms #plural terms #plurality #plural community #plural system #pluralgang #plural

[thebibliosphere]

Hey! I saw on your posts that you have MCAS. I might as well, so I was curious about your symptoms and how you got diagnosed. I've got intestinal reactions to a suite of food that have been escalating in recent months. But my skin test came back negative for all of them and for the pollen they might be caused by (birch). I'm getting some blood tests in January and an EpiPen. But I'd love to chat about your symptoms and diagnosis journey. ❤️

Hello friend. Sorry to hear you might be suffering as well. If you want to peruse my #mcas tag, there's a lot already in there.

I also test negative for a lot of food allergies, both on the skin test and the blood test, but thats because MCAS allergies are not always the result of true IgE-mediated allergies, but our mast cells being wonky and triggering other mechanisms within the cell that lead to mast cell degranulation which manifests as allergic reactions and sometimes full-blown anaphylaxis.

The reaction can take several hours to days to appear, which is why we can eat something fine one day, but if we eat it again the following day, we react. (leftovers are the worst offenders because it allows time for histamine to build up in the food. If you want to keep leftovers, freeze them and reheat the next day.)

It's also why some of us experience slow-acting anaphylactoid reactions as opposed to the rapid onset anaphylaxis most people are familiar with.) Other true IgE allergies, like birch, can cause cross-reactions, the most common of which is oral allergy syndrome, which is possible to have alongside MCAS or by itself.

Aren’t bodies ‘fun’?

If you suspect MCAS, something you maybe find helpful is doing a low-histamine diet to weed out the worst trigger food offenders from your diet.

The SIGHI histamine food list is the most comprehensive and up-to-date list for spotting any potential red flags in your diet that may be affecting histamine levels:

A dietician is advised to help you with this, as a low histamine diet is very low in nutrients and shouldn't be done long-term to avoid malnourishment. However, some of us wind up on it long-term due to the severity of our MCAS and require prescription supplements and also sometimes IV infusions. Fortunately, now that I am stable and getting better, I have been able to put more foods back into my diet, which is the hopeful end goal of treatment. (I was down to 2 safe foods in 2019 and was starving to death while my then-doctor insisted I had an eating disorder. After proper treatment with mast cell stabilizers and treating an underlying case of pernicious anemia, I’m now up to 25!!! 🎉🎉🎉)

Unfortunately, not all healthcare providers “believe” in MCAS or histamine intolerance though Covid has changed a lot of minds. (Nothing like patients going into idiopathic anaphylaxis in front of you to change your world view real fucking quick). If you encounter one of those providers, move on as soon as you can. They’re not up to date on current medical research and are doing a disservice to their patients.

Thankfully, at least here in the US, many younger doctors seem to be coming out of med school with a basic grasp that mast cells can go rogue and that MCAS is real and the lesser-known though just as severe cousin of mastocytosis.

Sadly, they’re primarily still being taught to test for it using the mastocytosis method (checking the blood for elevated tryptase levels), which is not always indicative of MCAS because, unlike patients with mastocytosis, our tryptase levels fluctuate based on flares. Theres also a 24-hour urine test you can do which is more accurate but, again that’s unreliable because it requires stringent temperature regulation (nothing like having a bucket of pee in your refrigerator for 24 hours) and if the urine isn't kept as cold as possible right up until the moment of testing, the results could give a false negative.

I test negative on every single test (except biopsy, which many doctors try to avoid) and would need to be tested during a bout of anaphylaxis, which no ER is going to pause to do. Fortunately, a lot of doctors are now diagnosing based on clinical presentation, patient history and how patients respond to initial treatment of mast cell stabilizers.

There are a couple of more heavy hitters they can try, but the most basic are a combination of your run-of-the-mill h1 and h2 type histamine blockers, commonly sold over the counter as Zyrtec and Pepcid. (obligatory: always check with your doctor before starting any new medication)

The tmsforacure website has a list of MCAS friendly doctors in the US:

(I do not recommend any of the Mayo clinics, sadly. I’ve yet to hear from a single fellow mastie who’s had a good experience with them or come away feeling like a person afterwards. It seems a lot of their testing is aimed toward mastocytosis and is rooted in some weird bias of wanting to keep MCAS seen as ‘rare’, when really it’s just rarely diagnosed.)

You can also usuay find doctors in your area by checking out local support groups on places like Facebook and Reddit. The Reddit groups are pretty good, tbh.

Oh, and it would help if you also looked into whether or not you have a Vitamin D deficiency, as vitamin D is required for mast cells to remain stable and even a mild deficiency can mess us up.

A chronic lack of Vitamin D in our society has also been linked to an increase in things like asthma and other allergic diseases. So that one is just good for everyone to be aware of.

I likely missed something in that deluge of text, but hopefully some of it was useful to you. If you want to ask more specifics or even just chat my inbox is (usually) always open. My health is not great right now, so I’m struggling with my IMs but I always try to respond to asks.

Take care! Rooting for you to get the treatment you need.

#chronic health tag #mcas #long post #food mention

[voloslobotomyservice]

BG3 Tav Backstory Bash by Kelandrin

This is a challenge to help people flesh out their Tav's backstory by exploring their past. It is organized into four sections with seven prompts. You can treat this as a monthly challenge or a general project. You can write headcanons, fics, or share art based on the prompts! You can interpret the prompts however you want. If you want to share use the tag #bg3backstorybash

thank you for the tags @rolansrighthorn @charmedcleric @jessfromouterspace @lolthslover @auspex-author ‼️

I asked you guys who I should feature in this post and my girl Mythrae got the most votes! She is my first durge so she's a bit special to me and I'm very glad she was chosen :) some of these questions might have slightly alternate answers bc they don’t exactly fit in her timeline but I’m excited to participate either way! there are a couple triggering sections that have been labeled, so please read with caution!

(I’m too scared to tag anyone in this lol)

Part One: Baby

Parent(s):

Being the child of Bhaal’s own flesh and blood, she is a Bhaalspawn. But as far as who raised her? Well, that would be none other than Lua’nna Helvitlar, a Seldarine drow wizard who fled from Menzoberranzen many years ago.

She fled the city and Lolth due to her brother’s wrongful death, and she found employment with Ramazith Firesinger in Baldur’s Gate.

Birth:

Not much is known about Mythrae’s birth, but in the year 1353, Lua’nna found her as an infant in the sewers of Baldur’s Gate with a piece of paper with just her name (yeah I did this with Salome too I’m unoriginal). Not wanting a drow child to get in the wrong hands and become a servant of Lolth, she rescued the infant and brought her home.

First Word/Tantrum/When They First Walked/First Sickness

Her first word was “mama,” which Lua’nna was overjoyed with. Definitely cried happy tears for hours on end.

She was a well-behaved toddler, who was also very inquisitive and ask a lot of questions. The tantrums she would have would usually be because she got an answer she didn’t like (ex. “Mummy, why can’t the sun stay up all day?” “Why does it get cold outside?”).

Mythrae took her first steps after living with Lu’anna for 10 months, while they were playing together. Lua’nna most definitely cried the rest of the day over it.

She got a cold when she was a toddler, and her mother was worried sick she would pass from her virus. She was sick for two weeks, but with Lua’nna’s thorough care, she made a full recovery.

Part Two: Childhood

Friends:

Mythrae was born with heterochromia (one grey eye and one red eye) and was bullied for it (also for being a drow — they have a bad rep on the surface after all), so it was hard to make friends in school. There was one other drow boy in her class, Kalandrin, who would defend her from these bullies. They became fast friends and stayed close even into their teenage years. (Kalandrin would become her dream visitor later down the line)

Siblings:

Mythrae did not have any other siblings, the only family she had was her adopted mother (and Bhaal plus his spawn ofc but it’s not like she knew that at the time)

Getting Into Trouble:

For the most part, Mythrae was a very well behaved child. But as she began to discover her affinity for magic, especially storm sorcery, she would sometimes pull pranks on Lua’nna that would result in her being punished (ex. putting a cloud over mom’s head and causing it to rain while she was in the garden, using a lightning bolt to help speed up cooking, etc). Sometimes she tried to do these out of a genuine desire to help around the house, but other times… not so much

Birthday:

Though Lua’nna doesn’t know Mythrae’s actual birthday, they celebrate her “gotcha” day on the 7th of Eleasis (equivalent of August in Earth months)

Games/Learning Something New:

Mythrae wasn’t huge on games (unless it was something thought-provoking like chess lol)

Being an inquisitive child, she enjoyed school and learning. Lua’nna, being a studious wizard, helped Mythrae with her schoolwork and also taught her about the many intricacies of magic. She also taught her about the history of drow, which was left out of schoolbooks, because she did not want her child to fall down the wrong path and become a servant of Lolth.

Trauma:

In her dreams (or night terrors?), a large skeleton head or ghastly creature would visit her and tell her to kill everyone she knows and anyone that gets in her way, for her father’s sake. These visions scared her greatly, and made it hard for her to want to fall asleep. Usually, Lua’nna would have to sleep in the same bed as her so that Mythrae felt safe.

Part Three: Teenager

⚠️ TW - mentions of canon-relevant violence and suicidal thoughts ⚠️

First Love:

Over the years, Mythrae developed deep feelings for Kalandrin. Looking back, she suspected he may have felt similar feelings for her, but they never acted on them and thus were never romantically involved. But they were very close, and they even got matching tattoos on their face and neck.

Rebellion/Running Away:

Not long after her thirteenth birthday, the nightmares consuming her were all too powerful, affecting her mood and thought process. She became very anxious that these urges would soon take over, and she would hole herself in her room, away from others. Sometimes she would find herself arguing with Lua’nna, too afraid to confide in her about the visions she was having. This did drive a wedge in their mother/daughter relationship, and Lua’nna tried to chalk it up to typical teenaged hormones.

Otherwise, there wasn’t any specific rebellion or running away that she would do.

Reckless Behavior:

One fateful night, the urges finally took over and she had her first killing spree. First, she stabbed Lua’nna to death while she was sleeping in her bed. She then left their house in the Upper City, electrocuting any passerby that crossed her path. She snuck into Kalandrin’s house by climbing into his bedroom window. She had planned to stab him as well, yet he was awake in his room, reading a book. He thought that she was finally confessing her love for him, but instead, she cut his head off, keeping it as a prize for herself.

Her urge faded as she held Kalandrin’s head in her hands. Appalled by the grotesque scene, she quickly dropped his head, fleeing his bedroom as fast as she could. She didn’t stop running until she was at the docks of the Grey Harbor, debating whether or not she should let herself drown for her crime.

Peer Pressure:

While she was debating whether she should jump into the harbor, Sceleritas Fel arrived, telling Mythrae that everything would be fine, that she was destined to become a cold-blooded killer for her father, Bhaal. He pressured her away from committing suicide, and instead, starting her life anew in the Temple of Bhaal. Knowing that her reputation would be tarnished come morning if she didn’t go with him, she accepted, following him back into the sewers where her mother found her so many years ago.

Taking Responsibility:

In a way, Mythrae never publicly took responsibility for the lives she took that night. If anything, she was encouraged to continue her slaughtering, which she did to please Bhaal. But internally, she knew that she had wronged them — and so many people after — and she hated herself for it. She secretly wished for her old life back, and that her urges could fade away into nothing.

Part Four: Adulthood

⚠️ TW - mentions of rape/sexual assault ⚠️

BEFORE THE NAUTILOUD…

Serious Relationships:

Her first and only serious relationship was with Lord Enver Gortash, who had approached her about hatching a plan between the Chosen of the Dead Three. He had a charm about him that immediately drew her in, and they fell for each other quite quickly while working together to enslave the Elder Brain. He had even proposed to her with a ring she wore throughout most of the game events.

Their “First Time”:

Mythrae has pledged herself to celibacy until Bhaal instructed her to sire a new Bhaalspawn, originally planned to be with Gortash. However, Orin had disguised herself as the Chosen of Bane and attacked Mythrae, taking her virginity in the Temple of Bhaal before knocking her unconscious with her blade.

Work:

Up until Orin had attacked her, Mythrae was the leader of the Church of Bhaal, acting as the High Priestess over the congregation, preaching her father's word and leading various rituals.

Leaving Home:

A bit unique for Mythrae, considering it wasn’t her choice to leave home in the first place. She had no intention of ever leaving Baldur’s Gate or the Temple of Bhaal. So, when she woke up on the Nautiloud flying through the Hells, she knew something wasn’t right and that (at bare minimum) she was not meant to be here.

Aging:

Mythrae never really gave much of a thought to her age. She was young for an elf (around 139), and since elves can live for hundreds of years past that, she knew she had plenty of time to live a full life (devoted to Bhaal).

Finding Your Place

Mythrae was made to believe that the Temple of Bhaal was her place. That she would spend the rest of her days here, following every command her father gave to her. Thought she thought that maybe, just maybe, she was destined to do more with her life.

Starting A Family (Found or Otherwise)

She found family with the other Bhaalspawn in the Temple, however, her relationship with her siblings was very strained. They all wanted to be their father's favorite, especially Orin, who did not think Mythrae was worthy of her title.

Of course, she had planned to have Gortash as her husband when he became Archduke of Baldur's Gate so they could rule together, and also produce as many Bhaalspawn as father desired. Then, Mythrae was to kill Gortash, and become the rightful ruler of the city.

DURING GAME/AFTER THE ELDER BRAIN…

Serious Relationships:

After she escaped the Nautiloud, Mythrae didn't even give any thought to a potential serious relationship, as she was just trying to survive. However, she and Astarion grew very close, sharing similar traumas and feelings about the world. She didn't judge him for being a vampire, and he didn't judge her for the murderous urges, even after she tried to kill him. Their relationship further blossomed into a deep bond and they helped each other become better throughout their journey.

Their “First Time”:

Her first time (that wasn’t part of a planned attack) didn’t even happen until Act 3 with Astarion, after they had defeated Cazador for good. He had tried to seduce her before (Act 1 romance scene), but the trauma of her previous attack prevented her from moving forward, which the memory of it was explicitly shown to Astarion via tadpole connection.

But by the time Cazador was defeated, both of them felt comfortable and ready to share their first time with each other at his gravestone (and it was great. might write about it someday)!

Work:

After she rejected Bhaal, Mythrae found herself with nowhere to go. So, she and Astarion begin life in the Underdark together as mercenaries for hire. With her powerful spells and his sharpshooter skills, they become infamous throughout the land, with some Lolth-sworn drow ending up on the hunt after them. But as long as they have each other, they’ll be more than happy.

Leaving Home:

It wasn’t the easiest decision, but Mythrae's biggest concern is Astarion living somewhere where he did not have to worry about the sun scorching his skin, so she told him that she would be willing to leave Baldur's Gate to be with him in the Underdark, where he would be safe.

Aging:

Nowadays, the thought of her aging comes up a bit more often. She knows that she can still live for hundreds of years with Astarion by her side, but at the same time, one day she will die, and he will live on without her. But she doesn't want him to think about it yet, so she tells herself it's a conversation they'll have further down the line.

Finding Your Place:

At first, Mythrae was cautious to move to the Underdark with Astarion, truth be told. Lua’nna had never taken her there, though she shared her stories of her adventures down there. The only time she had gone were with her other companions on the way to Baldur’s Gate, and it was… a bit much, truth be told. But with her love by her side, they are able to find a home to make their own, getting into the routine of mercenary work and traveling through the lands to find any vampires that might need their help.

Starting A Family (Found or Otherwise):

To her, the party members she’d grown so close to over so little time had become her found family. Sure, she and Astarion may not be able to see them as often as they’d like, but they continue to gather every six months so they can catch up on their lives and remember the good (and bad) times. Mythrae also kept correspondence with Gale often, as he is researching the cure for vampirism at Blackstaff Academy.

Mythrae and Astarion know the risks that having a dhampir child could bring and the potential of bringing about another Bhaalspawn to the world, so they decide to not have children. They do have a sphinx cat, named Fluffington, that they treat like their own child, though. They’re the kind of cat parents to dress their pet up in cute little outfits for holidays and festivals!

#bg3backstorybash #bg3 tav #bg3 durge #the dark urge #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #tav: mythrae #oc: mythrae

[perplexingluciddreams]

how did you become aware the trauma was trauma especially when not full remember

- 🍋 (may not be able read when first post this topic s blocked tag

This is a really hard question and I am not sure I really know the answer. I will try my best.

I have had a lot of experiences in my life that I think would be generally considered traumatic. Some are specific one-time events, some are very long term situations that I was trapped in. This includes abuse, but that is not the only thing. And aside from the long-term abuse from one specific person, I was also treated badly by a lot of people, even if I interacted with them only once. It is not necessarily about every single person included in that, but the pattern of bad treatment adds up over time and causes harm. I am a very easy person to mistreat or abuse or hurt, I am very vulnerable - and unfortunately lots of people have taken advantage of that over my lifetime.

I would also say that the lack of communication that I had for a lot of my life is something traumatic to experience in itself, and often lead to me being in situations where it was easy for people to cause me harm. I also think that just being so disabled, so unwell, so limited, so isolated, is a traumatic thing too.

All of my memories are scattered and jumbled and in fragments. Out of order. And I can’t recall things “on command”, mostly. It is like water currents. Not linear. If a memory comes to me, it just happens out of my control. I think sometimes there is something to pull up that memory, but because I don’t process things well, I can’t usually know what the “trigger” is. It is hard to even know where there is gaps in my memory, because so jumbled.

When one memory comes, usually my brain gets loud with many memories all making a lot of “noise” in there all at once. Because it is all interlinked somehow. One water current comes up to the surface, and pulls many other undercurrents up with it. This is true for any memory, bad or not. But even if a good/neutral memory comes to the surface, it can quickly pull up very bad memories along with it.

Then my body reaction is of full intense fear. Not any other word to describe. Just like my body thinks I am in Danger. And that is the same feeling of my body that I always had pretty much all day every day for my whole childhood. Constant survival mode. And only way to try cope is constant “disconnect” from everything. Which is the mode I am in most of the time - avoid avoid avoid, distract distract distract. When brain gets loud, I must fight my way back to this “blank” state.

After I manage to calm down, the water currents settle back to underneath. And the top goes mostly flat and calmer again. Less like storm, more like gentle waves and thoughts like rain make ripples. I can place distractions on top of the water like boats or leaves or sticks, which takes attention away from the chaos beneath.

Every time this “storm” happens, I get to hold on to more and more bits and pieces that get left over, stay floating at the surface like driftwood. So over time I can slowly slowly piece together more and more, to better understand the things that happened to me.

It is also complicated due to the fact that I mostly didn’t understand what was happening at the time. (Especially if the memory is from a much younger Ezra). For example, I used to have more access to memories of abuse when I was younger, because I simply didn’t know that it was even bad, at all. When I started understanding that more, my brain blocked it off stronger and stronger so I have less access to those memories now.

I also didn’t understand my own feelings or reactions or what that meant. So, even though I always had horrible awful feelings in my body, like twisty sick-y clenching feelings in my tummy constantly, or always right about to cry, or awful awful headaches… I just thought that is how my body feels. Because it was always like that. I couldn’t make connections that it was worse at certain times or near certain people, I just knew it was bad. But still didn’t connect that with the word “bad”.

My understanding and awareness of all this is improving over time. So I now at least connect these bad body feelings with the bad memories, and link it with the fact that my body always felt that way. I still don’t have words for the emotions, I don’t understand that part yet. And I am aware that the bad memories are there, just buried deep under the surface, blocked away by my brain. And I understand more and more just how bad it was.

Now that I can tell other people tiny fragments of it, they also tell me how awful it is (not to upset me, just to make me aware of the awfulness level). It helps me better understand the scale of it. There is still much that I can’t get out in words, but I work hard on that.

This is the answer I can come up with, I hope it is helpful. And hope I understood the question correctly. The short summary is: my body reactions is the strongest indicator that lets me know that something was traumatic, even when I don’t have full access to memories.

Thank you for this ask, friend. It made me think about this and organise my thoughts into words, which helps me a lot. I hope you have a calm, content, and comfortable day/night. 💜💚

#🍋 anon #from the chaos of my mind #memory #memory attack #bad memories #loud brain #trauma #abuse

[impunkster-syndrome]

I think something that would actually really help sparklecare is for the @sparklecarehospital account to include development updates and notices of changes to the site and planned site updates.

As it stands, things just get removed (see: the final warning weird page) or added (see: new trigger warnings) on a whim. Having a log of changes to the site actually helps people follow along with development and be able to anticipate new updates to the site itself. Stuff like "Hey, comic staff updates will be updated on (Date and time) and are current staff from then until the next change" or "Here's a list of updates to comic pages, removal of pages, and changes to site theme and layout planned." It also keeps from situations where things are removed without any acknowledgement publicly at all on the main blog, which can cause unreality in a lot of ways.

It also allows people to see the progress of the comic itself and what happens between updates if the blog itself is used less for fandom reblogs and more showing progress on updates and roadmaps for development.

A contact email for site concerns (i.e. incomplete clean transcriptions that are currently on the site, needing to ask staff to tone down effects like color-changing backgrounds and shaking text/comic panels that can be accessibility issues, bugs on the site, etc) would be great for a lot of reasons. Not everyone reading the site will have the same platforms as staff to be able to voice these concerns, nor will they want to (also being blocked, missed messages, no staff seeming approchable due to hostility, etc). So many people online have emails though- making it one of the easiest ways to get in touch with someone about important concerns.

Edit: Tumblr what the fuck is happening, I thought I couldn't tag people if they blocked me??

#sparklecare #sparklecare hospital #blackbox thoughts

[sp724]

((OOC pinned post time!

This blog is a roleplay blog meant to be an in-universe blog for Sidney Poindexter from Danny Phantom.

Anyone can interact or send asks, RP blog or not. In fact, asks are very much appreciated, seeing as this version of Sidney was murdered and he/his death would probably be well-known.

Supplementary material for this blog (such as the Wikipedia page Sidney mentions in the blog description, as well as some in-universe True Crime videos on Sidney) can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/53753875/chapters/136071178

Mun is over 18, but muse is NOT. (Well. Mentally and physically he's not. He's been dead longer than that but... He can't mentally and physically age.)

This blog will definitely dip into some angst and darker topics at times, due to being run in-universe by a dead, bullied kid. I will try to tag things with the appropriate trigger warnings.

Bullying mentions will NOT be tagged, as the posts falling under that trigger warning include pretty much the entire blog.

More information about this blog below the cut.))

Headcanons:

Died after being shoved into his locker right before Spring Break and left there to starve.

Is a fairly famous case in the online True Crime community due to the mystery around what exactly happened, and the tragedy of him being so close to graduation.

17 years old, permanently.

Left the Ghost Zone at some point after the Christmas Truce, because he realized how many ghosts are bullies who are stronger than him, and he's afraid of a lot of them.

He hangs around the school because it's where he died and he feels an attachment to it. Danny gave him the go-ahead to go back to causing problems for bullies.

Tried to get Vlad to sue the Amity Park school district for him, but they don't have a case.

Blogs I consider to be within the same "canon" as this blog (either because I've interacted with them or because a blog I've interacted with has interacted with them):

@danny-fenton-blog (Danny)

@sam-manson-blog (Sam)

@tucker-foley (Tucker)

@mycelialmadness (Dani)

@therealvladmasters (Vlad)

@vladco-tech-official

@inevitablefuturephantom (Dan)

@paulina-sanchez (Paulina)

@/wes-weston-ghostly-blog (Wes)

@axion-labs-official

@insideaxionlabs

@the-box-ghost-blog

@technus-master-of-tech

@thefentonmeister

@jazz-fenton-blog

@ghost-zone-pd

Tags:

danny phantom rp & roleplay - on almost every post

daily stopbullying reblog - every day sidney reblogs a post linking to the website stopbullying.gov. this is the tag for those, so they can be blocked if you get annoyed by the spam.

ask - for answered asks

reblog - for non-original, not directly roleplay related posts

animal pictures - with the reblog tag, on pictures of animals

nostalgia - with the reblog tag, on things relating to the 1940s and 1950s. specifically things relating to the time period of 1944 to March 1958.

colors - with the reblog tag, on things with bright rainbow colors

funnier when dead - with the reblog tag, on things that. well. are funnier to sidney now that he's dead.

deathweek - tag for an event lasting from march 28th to april 7th.

Boundaries:

Pretty much anyone can interact, this includes personal accounts and RP blogs from different fandoms. I encourage people to interact with Sidney, in fact.

Asks that treat Sidney as fictional will not be answered, however. Please pretend Sidney is a real person in your ask.

Other:

The typing style I use for him is supposed to look like the way my grandma types. "Old person who barely knows computers/phones" vibe.

#danny phantom rp #roleplay #sidney poindexter

[best-underrated-anime]

Best Underrated Anime Group B Round 3: #B8 vs #B2

#B8: Middle school idol drama

#B2: Girls aiming to become top stars in a Takarazuka high-school

Details and poll under the cut!

*#B2’s tagline has been changed.

#B8: Pretty Rhythm: Rainbow Live

Summary:

Naru Ayase is an 8th grader who can see the colors of music when she listens to it. For Naru, who is extremely good at decorating, becoming the owner of a shop like Dear Crown was her dream. One day, she finds out that the manager of a newly-opened shop is recruiting middle school girls who can do Prism Dance, and immediately applies. Naru begins to Prism Dance at the audition, and an aura she’s never experienced spreads out in front of her. At that moment, a mysterious girl named Rinne asks her if she can see “rainbow music.”

Propaganda:

WHERE DO I START.

First off: Lesbian activities. Ayase Naru and Rinne Amagi are very close friends and even end up living together. Naru is also only one of the few characters without a proper love interest which really helps further the Naru/Rinne ship.

Otoha Takanashi: often talks about fairy tales, but the only characters she ever sees as Princes are women. Baby lesbian, I love her.

Second: DRAMA. So two of the characters (Ito and Kouji) actually start dating, but their parents do not approve for reasons they are evasive about until it is later revealed in the story—[This part of the propaganda has been cut by admin due to possible spoilers]

Third: banger music. This series includes many covers of popular 90s dance tracks from band TRF, which I am fond of. It also has a lot of unique music written for the show itself which is also good, especially for a children’s show.

Trigger Warnings: It might need the emotional abuse tag for specifically one of the characters’ parents, who is a pretty extreme perfectionist when it comes to her daughter. But nothing else aside from that. It’s a kids’ show, so it never goes that far in terms of actual harm. Most things also get resolved peacefully.

#B2: Kageki Shoujo!!

Summary:

After being forced to graduate from JPX48 following a controversial incident with a male fan, Ai Narata swears to never interact with another man ever again. Using her talents and strong desire to get away from men, Ai auditions for the exclusive all-female Kouka School of Musical and Theatrical Arts. The school is renowned for producing the best actresses that go on to perform in the famous all-female Kouka Theatre Troupe. Coming from the idol industry, Ai is the perfect candidate for the school’s hundredth generation class, but her aloof demeanor alienates her from her classmates. The eccentric Sarasa Watanabe is the only person who wishes to become Ai’s friend. She enters Kouka with the goal of becoming a top “otokoyaku” performer—an actress that plays traditionally male roles. After seeing a Kouka performance of The Rose of Versailles when she was younger, Sarasa dreams of performing as Lady Oscar one day. Unfortunately, Sarasa's inability to read a room causes friction between her and her classmates, including Ai, who reluctantly becomes her roommate and partner in many of their classes. Succeeding at Kouka will involve more than just raw talent for these young girls as jealousy, deceit, and the harsh realities of show business put their mental fortitude to the test. Will Sarasa and Ai be able to rise to the top and stand on the silver bridge?

Propaganda:

If theatre setting/schools is your thing, you’re probably going to love this series! We follow our protagonists and their schoolmates following their dreams to become actresses for the prestigious Kouka Revue. Not an easy road as they will have to face and overcome many challenges, the hardest ones coming from themselves. Indeed, the story is not afraid to address sensitive topics and their resulting traumas (see TW list) always rightfully handed. These episodes may be a bit hard to see if you’re sensitive to these topics, but the show never leaves you in discomfort: everything is properly addressed, and characters are cared for realistically.

The characters are all very well-written, portraying individuals with way more depth than they may appear at first glance. We follow their growth—or its start—during the series. Sarasa is a walking sunbeam, and her blooming friendship with the withdrawn Ai is a delight to watch. We learn to know—and love—all their classmates as well, as episodes switch focus to one or the other.

The OST is really good, with a catchy opening, and no less than five different versions of the ending song, a fabulous duet voiced by the cast! The animation features really pretty art with iconic details like the stars in Sarasa’s eyes. The series is a homage to Takarazuka and scatter references to famous real-life Revues and older famous shôujo manga series like “Versailles no Bara” or “Glass no Kamen”. Actually, it feels like a modernized version of their essence: roses, sparkles, spotlight, drama, all while staying safe!

This anime is like candy for eyes and soul, and I really hope we'll get a season 2 to explore the girls' voices further!

Trigger Warnings: Child Abuse, Pedophilia, Self-Harm

Nothing is too graphical nor explicit, just the right amount to let the unsettling situations be clear enough to watchers, and they’re always addressed correctly.

Child abuse/ Pedophilia: episode 3 (+4), about Ai’s traumas

Self-harm: episode 5 focuses on a girl with an eating disorder, forcing herself to vomit (not sure if that really counts as TW?)

When reblogging and adding your own propaganda, please tag me @best-underrated-anime so that I’ll be sure to see it.

If you want to criticize one of the shows above to give the one you’re rooting for an advantage, then do so constructively. I do not tolerate groundless hate or slander on this blog. If I catch you doing such a thing in the notes, be it in the tags or reblogs, I will block you.

Know one of the shows above and not satisfied with how it’s presented in this tournament? Just fill up this form, where you can submit revisions for taglines, propaganda, trigger warnings, and/or video.

#anime #best underrated anime #polls #poll tournament #tournament #anime tournament #animation #group stage #group stage round 3 #tournament polls #group b #pretty rhythm rainbow live #pretty rhythm: rainbow live #kageki shoujo #kageki shoujo!!

[system-of-a-feather]

DISCLAIMER SECTION

I'm gonna ramble about race / cultural experiences and trauma (probably) and this time it really isn't a line of thought ignited by syscourse or anything - but I'll tag it's tw anyways cause I'd rather people be able to filter it out than get it out there, but anyways

(for the note this was actually spurred on from a number of conversations I was having with a few parts today at work, one of which being that post about "diagnosed early vs diagnosed late" trauma; none of these points necessarily reply to that but for transparency and context)

For all of this, if any points or topics relate or resonate with you, feel free to comment, reblog, discuss, whatever on this post. Theres a lot of trauma talk on this and some level of details (CW will be provided before each section along with CW: clears), but none of this is really intended as a vent or trauma dump as much as... ya know, just talking about it as it is.

--------

As we've gotten further and further along with our healing, we've come to be a lot more open and comfortable talking about topics specifically relating to our trauma - at least in a C-PTSD / paranoid about giving out things that can be used to hurt us sense - and that is honestly really great and I'm really happy and proud for that

The thing is though, even though we've mostly declawed how easily our main triggers can be poked at and thus enabled us to feel more confident and ok talking about it, we honestly still are hesitant to do so for two main reasons.

One, being a simple lack of motivation to do so as it doesn't really come up and we don't really think about it more than we have to and often when we have to its usually not a place of mind we have the spoons to talk about it - ya know, normal healthy things.

The second though is because we've really come to learn that a lot of people in online trauma and dissociative communities really don't understand a lot of the largest and foundational themes of the trauma we went through and in my experience in the community, more often than not the response I've gotten from sharing that sort of things have always been more uncomfortable at best than helpful or positive.

And I think there are like... maybe three main things about our childhood core trauma that just make it hard to talk about with the tone of the community + the general heavily white area. This isn't meant to be like "oh you are bad if you fall into this" or anything, I don't have any ill intent or "call out" to really anyone even those who might heavily contribute to this cause its not that much talked on afaik. Mostly talking about this in a sort of, I guess commentary? I dunno, food for thought I guess.

But the first area...

as you might expect from this post and some previous ones, is that due to the fact that the community is heavily white-person run and driven and filled with many white peers, a lot of the talk and understanding of "trauma" and what kind of "chronic childhood trauma" typically looks like to form DID is informed by a white and western standard of trauma. And that isn't to say it is WRONG or BAD, but it makes it so that there is an inherent understanding that anything that differs from that is typically "better" rather than looking at the differences in a large scale cultural-context lens. And this sort of stuff has on MULTIPLE occasions had people respond to me venting or sighing about trauma-related stuff and stating that they wish they had that growing up - which I absolutely understand but it is OBVIOUSLY intensely insensitive and lacking in insight. I don't think any of those people who made those comments MEANT bad, but the nature of the discussion of trauma in these spaces being so heavily white centric and run has made it so that people forget to take culture into account and over simplify trauma into this "A is bad and B is - even when bad as well - inherently better". There is probably a level of classism / assumptions based on class as well somewhere in there, but thats a line of thought I hadn't thought much on past just a "yeah that probably plays a role".

(CW: RAMCOA related topics, CSA, etc)

The second...

is that our relationship with our sister falls awkwardly into the "not programming" in the sense of it's scale and intensity, but it would also be incredibly understated to just call it "conditioning" either and this might just be a "my feelings" on the matter than an actual reflection of the community, but I do often feel as though the nature of it not being either would result in it either being minimized OR people assuming I am trying to claim that I have the same thing as those that experienced programming and its just a really awkward place to be in. There is a lot of black and white talk regarding psychological abuse perpetuated by a person in power who has knowledge of DID and toyed with you as an experiment and project by intentionally learning to manipulate the parts. It wasn't at all the same level of proper RAMCOA, but it also was not just "conditioned learning" as our dissociation was actively targeted as a mechanism to create an unquestioning pet - that of which ended off getting pettled off to the a pedophile.

The complexity and nuances of the trauma and relationship we had with our sister like that combined with the very black and white language regarding trauma talk of that kind has made it just really awkward to try to explain to people because its really not either but as far as I know there isn't a term for whatever it was either. While chatting with a part (forgot which honestly whoops) we were thinking of officially just making our own term of like "trained" but idk, we aren't the coining type of folk so *shrugs*

(CW: CLEARED)

The third area...

Is just how messy and black and white the talk around autism. To those that haven't followed this blog from the earliest of early days, it might seem as though we were recently diagnosed with autism (technically true) and thats it and all, but autism has been a HUGELY prevalent part of our childhood and trauma history and honestly none of it really fits into the common narratives in PTSD / CDD spaces.

Firstly, we were neither really "early diagnosed" OR "late diagnosed" as our parents and my oldest sister (who was early diagnosed) noticed it EARLY on and immediately shaped my entire life around my "Aspergers" diagnosis that I was told I had when I actually never saw a professional for. Regardless, to my knowledge, I was diagnosed with aspergers from age 4 until they changed it to ASD and I asked my mom about it again at 15 or 16 when I started seeing a therapist and found out she never actually had me formally diagnosed. I then became "undiagnosable" due to the disorders that they COULD confirm, plus the weird relationship with my sister, and that I was raised in a "heavily autistic environment" where it was very plausible that I simply learned autistic behaviors as - at the time, thank you DID - I was too high functioning / masking and didn't appear to have significant impairment in any other areas other than being "a bit weird" in terms of how I view society and behavior again, both of which could be accounted for by environment + C-PTSD. It wasn't until well after I cleared stabilization for DID and undid a lot of the intense training our sister put us through, did our masking drastically decrease and it became apparent that yeah, we actually are largely impacted by ASD which ended up with us in the last few months being diagnosed. We were diagnosed early, undiagnosed, labeled "can not confirm nor deny if this is ASD", then diagnosed late, all simultaneously and so we don't really know where our word would fall in the general pecking order of "which group does your experiences fall into".

The OTHER thing is that our two primary abusers were autistic and their autism WAS inherently a part of the trauma that we went through and a lot of the talk of autism on the internet is so 'low supports needs' centric and sugar coated that it is very hard to feel comfortable commenting on how actually ugly and harmful autism can be to the individual AND those around them. This isn't to say its Autistic Abuse or any of that garbage, but my abusers autism is not a negligible or coincidental aspect of their abuse. It didn't make them an abuser, but it was still a large part of it.

(CW: Physical abuse and neglect)

My dad is confusing for 5000 reasons and anyone whose had DMs with me for over a year will know I sometimes share some of the REALLY confusing things about my dad (pretty sure he has DID as well but thats a conspiracy theory), but between his cultural trauma, coming from a """third world""" country, and having missed out on certain learning targets growing up due to the aforementioned first two - he has never been given the information, coping skills, treatment, or context to handle his symptoms in anything close to a healthy way. Its only now that hes (I think) in his 60s that my mom got a better understanding of everything that he's gotten any support, but with the sheer lack of assistance in his childhood, teenage years, and adulthood, its both a large task and honestly arguably not fair on him to try to get him to understand it beyond what is necessary to give him a life worth living.

But again, he had no ability and no tools to navigate his symptoms due to his complex and unfortunate situation and he absolutely did the best he could with what he had. Some parts in the system don't forgive him, but almost all of them understand and respect the intent at least. For example, we were poorly fed (and when we were it was usually garbage; think KFC 5/7 days a week for dinner) until we were 16 and able to drag the family into actually cooking because my dad would get into violent and aggressive meltdowns over ANY food smells, ANY mess, and ANY warmth. Cooking was basically forbidden until then because everyone was too afraid to risk it. Like there is a lot more to that, but its not something I'm given as clear access to and I aint gonna pry, but most of the most abusive behavior from him could very much be stemmed down to a sensory or communication issue regarding his untreated autism and a lack of ability to cope with it resulting in violent meltdowns.

(CW: CLEARED)

(CW: ABA)

Likewise, my sister who had been given ABA, from a young age taught me "how to survive in the world as an autistic person" and directly passed on HER version of ABA and HER understanding of autism onto me, which was just a garbage, intentional or not, way to excuse making me into her pet project rather than actually coping with her own trauma. (Plus 95% of the "information" she "taught" me was garbage including the infamous "having multiple consciousnesses in your head is a normal autism thing as long as there are less than 5" that I clown on every other day)

(CW: CLEARED)

I dunno really how to wrap this up, its like a conglomeration of thoughts we had today so its not really well organized but like... I guess AHEM *puts on my highschool english essay hat*

And so I conclude my essay on *checks notes* reasons I feel weird talking about trauma in online spaces? I think thats the point of this post? Idk I'm just rambling XD

#alter: riku #riku rambles #long post #trauma talk #syscourse tw #aba tw #physical abuse tw #neglect tw #ramcoa cw #cw ramcoa #psychological abuse tw #csa tw

[binalakai]

hey im kai! you can also call me roach, if you already know a kai in your life because i know how many noncis mfs are named that

im a 21 genderfluid filipino dyke with she/he/it pronouns, i occasionally post my art on @binalakarchive , where all my OCs (at least as much as i show publicly) and fandom art/cleaned up discussions go there. i also do commissions sometimes, best to contact me through that blog!! otherwise, i treat this blog like a neverending journal. i've grown up with it, and on god am i going to use it as such.

in a perfect world where i wouldn't need to establish boundaries, i would not even bother with a post like this, but the more people i follow/that follow me come across it's somewhat necessary soooo

DNI or like. BYF if you're not gonna listen to me anyway: (warning: it's long and text heavy. tldr; don't be weird to me, communicate with me like you would with a real life person because that's what i am, and we'll get along fine)

-basic dni huge bigot (racist, TERF/transphobic, homophobic, etc etc) stuff but if i catch that onto your blog anyway when you follow me i'll block you.

-if you post a lot of doomer stuff/are against mental health care in general, you best keep distance, honestly. its taken a long time for me to not open my wounds and delusions constantly towards the internet if it meant being valid in my mental illnesses. i'd rather not enter that era again.

-i dont get the whole "proship and antis" culture that happens, but for both sakes of people, if you identify with any of those things you might not like my blog too much. i love being critical and analytical of "problematic things", but i'll still discuss them openly n freely. dni if you'll be offended if i diss on ships/approaches to subjects that make me uncomfortable n find comfort in being critical abt it, and dni if you'll be offended if i diss on the idea that media with triggering topics should not have an outlet period.

-if you'll be offended if i block you out of the blue, doesn't apply to close friends/mutuals i just mean with randos who post takes i dont like or cause too much stress in tags i browse.

-if you're gonna get in huge trouble over seeing dirty jokes and crass humor in public you best not follow me. i try best to tag my stuff, but last thing i wanna do is have a stern talk about it.....which is why i also am wary about people under 18 following and will be a lot more liberal on blocking younger minors for their sake or people i assume won't vibe with me period

-if your parents have access to your social media and there's a chance i'll be DM'd by any of them. i dont wanna talk to any of your parents. if you have an issue with me, i'm more than happy to talk about things directly. (ESPECIALLY FOR BUSINESS RELATED REASONS LIKE COMMISSIONS. IT'S HAPPENED A LOT ALREADY DUE TO OTHER PARTY'S FAMILY CIRCUMSTANCES I CANNOT FUCKING CONTROL. STOP IT. ITS ANNOYING AND A PAIN TO HANDLE.)

-if you get too involved with online drama/disputes. i'm not going to reblog a callout for you. if you get even slightly bothered by that statement, do not get close to me period for the sake of boosting callouts.

-if you have specific niche triggers that need to be tagged. i try to do catch alls or basic ones, but i genuinely CANNOT keep track of all my mutual's blacklists. my mind will slip and id rather not put someone in danger/i wanna keep that risk very very low

okay thankies <3 sorry these are so specific, i just wanna be insane on the internet in the safest way possible

#about

[doodle-pops]

Elves' General Headcanons on Having a S/O with DID

Request: I'm torn between how the elves would react to a s/o with DID or the opinions on male x male relationships. - Anon

A/N: This is a very interesting question here anon. Now, I've stated that writing/addressing topics like mental illness makes me very wary because I do not want to insult someone through misinterpretations. I tried my best to not go into full on descriptions to get anything wrong.

Please do not engage in the act of faking mental illness for 'aesthetic' purposes. If you happen to be suffering symptoms of a certain illness, seek professional help, don't self-diagnosis. There are people out there with real mental illnesses and it's heartbreaking to them to see their condition be treated as a trend.

My sincerest apologies if I got something wrong.

Warnings: mentions of the words abuse, trauma, depression, and mental illnesses. If topics on mental illnesses make you uncomfortable, then do not engage with this post. You are responsible for your own media consumption.

⇴ In today's world DID is still a very big mysterious mental illness that has similar symptoms to other illnesses which makes it difficult to identify.

⇴ You, their s/o who is very much aware of your condition would baffle a lot of them when you explain your illness.

⇴ Many will be shocked to learn about you being mentally ill. I think mental illness at their time wasn't given names or identified like the way we do now, so you would have to explain your symptoms.

⇴ Informing them that your condition was a rare case and it is uncommon among your folks would leave them worried.

⇴ Your lover would question you on all that you knew about your illness so they can provide as much assistance as possible and avoid worsening it.

⇴ Is there something that triggers it? Is there a way to reduce panic attacks and anxiety?

⇴ They would assist you with all that they can to ease the worry and stress, and if you're in the process of healing, they would be at your side step by step.

⇴ One common form of obtaining this condition is trauma or abuse from a young age. This is perhaps the most terrifying thing you could inform them of.

⇴ Their biggest thoughts would be on who was the cause of your abuse or trauma.

⇴ This would also further clarify their confusion as to why you appear depressed or moody from time to time.

⇴ The most common symptom of DID is the presence of two or more personalities/alters.

⇴ Alerting them of you having more than one alter within your mind would both fascinate them and confuse them, so a further explanation would be needed.

⇴ To calm them down, you do your best to reassure them, that as long as you are away from stressful or any traumatizing situations, they shouldn't have to worry about the switch.

⇴ If the switch does happen, it could be abrupt. One minute they were talking to you and the next minute, your other alter stepped in.

⇴ This happens when you're feeling anxious or depressed or sometimes the mentions of abusive topics, your alter would switch to help act as a coping mechanism.

⇴ The part that gets them the most is when the switch happens, they haven't the slightest clue because it could be so calmly. It's only until you started appearing confused mid conversation that they'll realize a switch happened.

⇴ Elves tend to love a lot stronger than us due to the fact that they connect with the fëa rather than the hroä.

⇴ So, your respective elven lover will stand by your side and learn all about your other alters and how to identify them should an appearance be made.

⇴ They would learn to love all the other alters that you have because to them, they are a part of you and they love all of you.

Masterlist

Taglist: @spidergirla5 @givemaedhrosahug @eunoiaastralwings

If anyone wants to be tagged, click the link or request in the asks.

#silmarillion x reader #tw: mental health #tw: mentions of abuse #tw: mentions of trauma #tw: mentions of depression #silmarillion imagine #silmarillion headcanon #middle earth x reader #middle earth headcanons #middle earth imagine #lord of the rings x reader #lotr x reader #lotr imagine #reader insert #house of finarfin #house of fingolfin #house of feanor #lords of gondolin #house of elrond #glorfindel x reader #maedhros x reader #finrod x reader #erestor x reader #caranthir x reader #elrond x reader #doodlepops writings ✨

[master-k0hga]

| A L Y S S A |

[ Category: Misc OCs ]

| Rebellious woman with a daredevil like attitude and will literally cause problems on purpose while having loads of fun doing so, she'll start fights and still feels like a champ even if she loses!

This is another rando OC I've had for a very long time too who's very good friends with another OC of mine (who I haven't gotten to completely re-designing yet and I seriously need to cuz I love him too) cuz she's more of like his emotional support while also trying to give him a heart attack with the crazy shit she does.

This is Alyssa, and originally she was like a 20 something year old before I re-designed her slightly a year ago, accidentally made her older than intended and stuck with it cuz it actually suits her a hell of a lot more than I thought it would... So she's like in her 50's now and I feel that works a hella lot better for her development!

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

INFO

Name: Alyssa Species: Human General Personality: Outgoing, confident, troublesome, daredevil, jokester, rough Height: 5ft "5" Relationship Status: Single

Extra Info:

(TW Miscarriage) She got married to a guy she had dated for 10 years, roughly in their early 30's. They tried for a baby, however unfortunately due to health complications of the baby's development she ended up having a miscarriage. Where it took a toll on the both of them they both heavily agreed to get a divorce and go to therapy, they keep in contact as friends now and plan to keep it that way; Alyssa has completely lost interest in relationships and such since and could explain why she has become very rebellious as she got older

She works as a waitress at a small diner up to roughly 4 to 5 days a week with average 5 hours when she's not being a menace to society; Surprisingly enough how she's still got her job after several separate occasions doing time in prison, community service and so on. In the end she's probably just a very good waitress

She's also a biker and loves bikes to hell and back, she's joins a very popular biker gang who mainly go around the city and open up soup kitchens for the homeless; Despite so much trouble, contributing to something like this makes her feel very humble and useful to some things

Loves going clubbing and will most of the time (or always) come out drunk asf; Mainly on weekends of course

She has a personal collections of all sorts of weapons; Custom made knives, tasers, nun chucks and even handcuffs she managed to steal from a police officer before making her escape via a car chase that lasted roughly and hour and 20 minutes before she got caught again. Why they never took the cuffs off of her after that is another question, assumed she must've got them off and dumped them somewhere before coming back for them eventually at some point

She has a good friend who she cares deeply for and will do anything she can to make him feel more comfortable and less anxious doing mundane activities

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

I probably have quite a few OCs in my random collection who mostly deal with a lot of traumas, issues and other problems that people deal with on a daily basis.. So I will definitely be tagging said triggers and so on in case it affects people in any way..

Of course not all of my OCs have terrible habits/issues so hoping I won't make too much of a conundrum when I post my others I have coming soon or in need or re-designing.. Ngl Besides the art I have got already, I don't really have all that much to post minus the other doodles and drawings I've done of my previously posted OCs...

I don't always draw many consistently and that sucks cuz I really wanna do more for them if I want to keep a system going on of course.. Oh well..

That's it I guess-

. Alyssa, Art © Me . DON’T RE-POST .

#MASTER-K0HGA #Ary / Kohga Chronicles #Ary / Kohga OCs and Works #Alyssa #Female #Human #OC #Misc OCs #Original Character #Fandomless #My OC #My Art #My Character #Re-post #My art re-posted #Tw miscarriage #mentions of miscarriage #tw mentions of miscarriage #tw #I don't really know how else to tag that trigger in case anybody comes across this post #But that's just about all I can do and know what to do so don't come at me even though it's just about my stupid OCs #I want her to somewhat feel like a real person and believe me she really fucking does #She's down to earth. Funny. rebellious and overall is a very good friend #And that's someone I seriously need in my life so in a sense every OC is like #Something I really want or need to feel comfort in my life.. I seriously wish all my OCs were real tbh #Even if they can be scumbags or shit people in general #Life sucks to oblivion and back so just leave me be with all these characters I created for my stupid little world

[krsonmar]

This is a question for people who have been treated for OCD. It's behind a cut so you can choose whether or not to engage with it, but basically I'm asking about potential treatments for my own case.

If you have a case and were treated for it in some way...exposure therapy, CBT, anything:

What treatments were you given? Did they work? How well? Was there something that worked but only one element of it did? Or did something unexpected happen? Did it just not work and completely suck?

I know treatment for OCD is supposed to be uncomfortable--they're getting you used to doing a thing you very much don't want to do--but I'm reading up on exposure therapy and so much of it seems to be about showing nOtHiNg BaD iS hApPeNiNg which...yes, duh, I know that, I know full well this is an irrationality and nothing is going to happen, that's a major factor in why it is driving me crazy. Reading some of this is making me wonder if the people writing these articles actually understand OCD. So I want to ask other people who have it.

Basically, my case eased up significantly at one point in my life that I've always just attributed to finding the right combo of meds (although in perfect honesty I'm wondering these days if other factors might have been at play. Regardless, it's barely noticeable now). The few compulsions that have persisted, I've just basically tolerated and I've been able to work around them for years. It's getting old, though, because they hold me back from a lot of things I'd like to try and fixing them or reducing them would make following several of my passions so, so much easier. I want to know what treatment options are out there, what they're like, and how they've gone for different people.

Honestly, I'm also worried that trying an incompatible method or trying it the wrong way could make things worse--that's happened to me before--and while I do expect it to be difficult and unpleasant, I'm basically trying to avoid additional trauma that could just cement these compulsions or give me new ones on top of them. I'm good at knowing my own mind and what is likely to work for me and what isn't, but I need to know what's out there and I want to hear from others how your experiences went.

If you're comfortable replying, I appreciate it, and feel free to use the notes or tags or PM me if you want. If you don't have anything you want to add, please reblog so more people see and have the opportunity to chime in...but also PLEASE consider potential triggers and sensitivities of anyone reading this further along and try your best to tag accordingly!! OCD takes so many weird forms, and in mental health spaces, everyone's experiences are so individualized that it's impossible to predict everything that will trigger anyone or aggravate anyone's symptoms, so please don't kick yourself or agonize about it, but I want to try to do my best due diligence in being considerate. And likewise, check the tags for yourself too so you don't accidentally stumble onto something that's going to cause problems for you, I don't want to do that to anybody, intentionally or not.

Thank you for reading this, and responding--or not--as you see fit!

#ocd #actually ocd #actually obsessive #obsessive compulsive disorder #mental health #therapy #cognitive behavioral therapy #psychiatry #psychology #exposure therapy #mental health treatment #ocd treatment #neurodivergent #psychiatric treatment