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ere-the-sun-rises · 1 year

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Why Certain Male Superheroes Have Such A Strong Female Fanbase

I discussed this on another post, but I think the trend of certain male superheroes having huge female fanbases has its roots in how relatable their characterization and struggles are. Despite being male characters, they are very strongly female-coded. I’ll use four examples, two Marvel (specifically their MCU portrayals) and two DC: Tony Stark, Bucky Barnes, Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson.

I apologize in advance if you click the Read More, this will be a very long post.

Tony Stark gets a lot of shit from the fandom, especially after Civil War. Yet, he remains arguably the most popular character from the entire series and adored by female fans. I think there’s a very good reason for that - he takes on a very female-coded role in relation to everyone else he interacts with.

For starters, he’s constantly slut-shamed. Steve, in particular, takes his sexual habits as a measure of his reliability and ability to be serious/commit. He alludes to knowing Tony from news coverage in A1, and we know from JARVIS’ quip in IM2 that Tony’s sexual escapades are highly covered by media. He looks down on Tony for his displays of sexuality (and more importantly, how shameless he is about them). Mia in IM3 also takes her digs at him about this.

His intelligence is constantly underestimated. Tony is incredibly smart and knows what he’s doing. In every Avengers movie, he is the one who formulates and carries out the plans that save the day. He is the plot device through which everything gets resolved, yet no one actually gives that any weight. In A1, Hill needles him about Selvig’s notes. In AoU, no one listens to him when he tries to explain that he was not responsible for Ultron gaining sentience or turning evil. In Civil War, Steve doesn’t listen to him when he tries to explain his decision to agree to the Sokovia Accords. Don Cheadle’s Rhodey never has any faith in Tony’s actions and constantly treats him like a child in need of supervision.

His emotions are continually disregarded. A major plot point in IM2 is Tony’s Reactor poisoning him. He exhibits all the signs of a suicidal person (even though he’s not) - giving his possessions away, retreating from public and personal life, making rash and/or unsafe decisions, emotional instability - but neither Pepper nor Rhodey even notice. In Civil War, when he tries to relay the human cost of the Sokovia disaster to the team (when we were shown how much that affected him), they dismiss his emotional outreach as manipulative. Steve disregards his friendship at every turn (indeed, being actively hostile to him through almost all of AoU) and doesn’t trust him at all (not telling him that Bucky was programmed). He also doesn’t consider that Tony may have feelings about finding out that his parents were murdered and seems surprised that Tony would be distraught. He never apologizes for hiding such important information, or even admits he shouldn’t have. When Tony returns from space in A:IW, he’s dismissive of Tony’s anger. Right until the end of A:E, Tony has to ask if Steve trusts him to make the right decision and Tony isn’t certain the answer will be yes. Natasha also treats him like he’s unrelentingly selfish, despite having been close enough to him to be wearing his clothes (in CA:WS, she’s wearing the same sweater Tony was wearing in IM2 when the only other person she does this to is Clint, with whom she is incredibly close).

Another major theme is the continued violation of his bodily autonomy. IM1 establishes that Tony’s autonomy is represented by his Reactor and armour, and that his use of both are a means to regain control over his autonomy. Obadiah continually enters Tony’s personal space without invitation or reciprocation, going so far as to undress him without permission to look at the Reactor and this comes to a head with the theft of his Reactor. Pepper gets upset with Tony about his suits in IM3, even hinging the continuation of their relationship on him getting rid of them without addressing why he’s so reliant on them. Steve in CW, once he has Tony on the ground, goes right for the Reactor (not to mention that Tony raises his arms like he anticipated that Steve was going to behead him). Then Steve leaves him there.

I think Tony appeals to so many female fans because it’s so easy to see the way we are ignored, overridden, used and discarded in him. He never seems to be good enough for the ones that he loves. He also knows he can’t turn to any of his closest people for comfort and doesn’t bother to try. He’s been taught by experience that if he’s disruptive or not useful, he’s not welcome. It’s incredibly difficult for him to accept kindness, but very easy to shoulder blame and responsibility. He’s easily hurt, but so good at concealing it no one notices. No one takes him seriously in anything he does, even when he’s proven it with actions. He’s always fighting against preconceived notions of him that aren’t him.

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Despite being a physically imposing character with a deadly skill-set and high body-count, Bucky is characterized almost exclusively as a caregiver or a victim.

In CA:TFA, he’s got a severe case of “Eldest Daughter Syndrome”, concerned above all with making sure that Steve is taken care of and kept from harm. Bucky consistently cleans up after Steve, both by running off the people he fights and ensuring that Steve’s living situation is assured. As the team sniper, he’s always watching Steve’s back and making sure he doesn’t get hurt. Steve loves Bucky, but he doesn’t ever take care of him. In CW and afterward, Bucky’s still more concerned for Steve than himself. He would have resigned himself to whatever punishment INTERPOL would have give him, and it’s not until Steve is threatened in their fight with Tony that he actually gets involved. Even in FATWS, he helps Sam not only with the terrorists, but with the boat and he reaches out to the Wakandans to replace the Falcon suit that got destroyed. He helps Sam train with the shield, even mentioning that he was the one who helped Steve get a handle on how to use it.

His victimization also starts near-immediately, with him being the sole survivor of Zola’s experiments in CA:TFA. He’s victimized and abusively controlled through his entire time as the Winter Soldier. Like Tony, his autonomy is also materially symbolized by his arm, which is used against him by Natasha in CA:WS and Ayo in FATWS. Perhaps most upsettingly relatable, he’s held accountable for the actions of the Winter Soldier in FATWS as exemplified by the therapist, who victim-blames him and seems more concerned with checking off a box for the government than actually helping him recover in any meaningful way. Zemo capitalizes on this spectacularly in FATWS.

I think a lot of women can relate to the kind of exhausted resignation of Bucky. He’s so rarely in control of anything that happens to him, but he still tries to be useful and kind when he can. He’s scared and hurt and alone, abandoned by the only person he knew in a world completely alien and hostile to him. His body language screams for someone to take care of him, but he’d die before asking for it. He tries so desperately not to be a burden, but always feels like one. He’ll put the needs of those he cares for above himself without exception, even when it causes him a lot of distress. His body and skills don’t feel like they belong to him, and he feels like it’s only a matter of time before someone steals them away again.

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Bruce Wayne as Batman might seem like an odd example, and there are certainly iterations of him that won’t fit this characterization. However, there’s a lot about him that is highly relatable to the feminine experience.

For starters, he’s guilt-ridden as shit. Bruce always takes it hard and personal when something goes wrong, even when he’s not responsible for it. This is most obvious in relation to his parents or Jason Todd, where he blames himself for something he didn’t do and couldn’t control. While every failure he has is met with a practical reassessment of his tactics, he also looks inward, trying to find what it is about him personally that makes these things happen and/or why he isn’t enough to stop it. He has a tendency to just accept blame instead of pushing back (ei. whenever Jason throws his death in his face).

He’s been raped. However much it may be payed down, Talia drugged and had non-consensual sex with him to conceive Damian.

His main motivation isn’t revenge, it’s prevention. While he’s not above revenge, the purpose behind Batman is to ensure that tragedies don’t have the chance to happen and that, even though he uses violence to accomplish his goals, he will never be the source of that tragedy. He wants to lash out in violent retaliation, but he cares more about redressing the balance of pain than he does inflicting it back. That’s how he can be friendly with people like Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy and Two-Face.

Bruce is a single mom at his core. He might not be the best parent all or even some of the time, but he loves his children and would do almost anything for them. He gets accused of creating child soldiers (both in canon and by fans), but none of his kids are soldiers to him. They work for him as Batman, but they are so much more than his co-vigilantes. He loves them like a parent and would die for any one of them. Indeed, this is a sentiment that extends to a few members of the JLA too, especially amongst the OG crew.

Bruce’s emotions are also discounted a lot, though that’s generally because he’s taken as cold and emotionless. He feels very deeply, about nearly everything, but he’s very good at hiding it. He views his heart as incredibly vulnerable and so only reveals it to a select few. The more this backfires on him, the less he’s willing to open up and the more guarded he becomes. He cares so much, but he’s so gripped by the fear of being hurt that it has to be forcefully pried out of him.

Brucie Wayne is an expertly crafted persona that plays into the female stereotype of “ditzy bimbo”. The “tall, dark and handsome” persona could have done just as well for his public face, playing into a more mysterious and alluring figure, but he chose to portray himself as a charming drunk, always down for a good time and with all the depth of a puddle. Brucie Wayne is such a shallow and vapid personality, comparable only to that of Paris Hilton’s public profile.

As I said, not every Bruce Wayne is portrayed this way, but some of the more famous examples of him certainly are: Kevin Conroy (Batman: The Animated Series/Justice League Unlimited/The Arkham games), Bruce Greenwood (DCAMU, Young Justice), Robert Pattinson (The Batman 2022) and arguably even Ben Affleck (DCEU). He’s capable of being brutal, demanding and uncompromising, but he ultimately wants the pain to stop, not to inflict it.

I think a lot of women see him almost as a kind of power fantasy, a way to exact violent vengeance on the ones who hurt people but maintain an inner kindness. This may be a bit of a self-projection, but I also think women can relate to his “going too far” notion - for those who have been victims before, it is so, so easy to slip into the cycle of perpetuation and become the abuser. He manages to thread the needle of striking back at an abuser without becoming one.

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Dick Grayson is perhaps one of the most sexualized male characters in existence, and almost exclusively catering to the female audience, particularly once he’s Nightwing. He’s kind, warm, funny, charming, attractive and considerate. But I think a lot of his appeal comes not only from being made of boyfriend material, but the way he demonstrates these attributes.

Dick pretty generally falls into the Eldest Daughter role once he’s an adult, becoming very close with his siblings and often acting as an intermediary between Bruce and the other kids. He’s the one that the rest of the family turns to when something happens to Bruce, and he’s often the one to take up the temporary mantle of Batman when Bruce is otherwise unable. Even with the Teen Titans, he’s a tentpole figure that guides his teammates and helps them mature despite often being the same age or younger than them.

Partly due to his past as a performer, Dick is a people-pleaser. This goes for his home life, romantic relationships and general public persona. Dick is Bruce’s charming first son, Bludhaven’s affable vigilante or [insert love interest]’s considerate boyfriend. He’s a lot more genuine in his public persona than Bruce is, but he’s gracious in the way a retail employee is - a certain measure of forced cheer that’s expected of him.

The way other characters sexualize Dick is also very female-coded. They always comment on his body, the tightness of his suit and how pretty he is. While they may also comment on his charm or personality, often the first things they discuss are physical. He usually plays along with this in good humour, but even other members of his family who share a lot of characteristics - Bruce, Tim, Jason, older Damian - don’t get the same kind of horny-on-main attention. He’s also usually paired with very strong/dominating love interests (Donna, Kory, Barbara) and has a tendency to be more passive in the relationship and get pursued when dating.

I think Dick acts like a lot of women do (or feel like they have to): upbeat and cheerful, attentive to their partners/family and always available for emotional caretaking. His body is a spectacle that receives unsolicited comment and judgment constantly. He fills the gaps where Bruce falls short and struggled to find his own path and identity away from the needs of his family.

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Women are used to having to relate to male characters in media, since female characters are generally so sparse, inauthentic or underdeveloped. I think that’s why, when we see ourselves in male characters, we latch onto them so tightly and care about them so much. While none of these attributes are exclusive to women, there’s a certain way that these aspects of characterization blend together that is generally more familiar to women than it is so men. There’s an echo of lived experience in their portrayals that hits very close to home.

#long post #very very long post #batman #bruce wayne #nightwing #dick grayson #iron man #tony stark #winter soldier #bucky barnes #marvel #dc #mcu #theory on fan appeal #female fans about male characters

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braisedhoney · 6 months

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please tell me about the pigments i would love nothing more than to hear you talk about that one shade of red you like and the process it took too recreate it

... oh, op. you have no idea what you've unleashed.

alright. here we go.

OKAY SO THE RED PIGMENT. pr206. my beloved. my dearest friend. it was an absolute bastard to find because there are so many of these. however many you think there are, there are MORE, and that's only if you don't count the many many scenarios where colors are known to be multi-pigment mixes, usually varying in tone/shade/intensity depending on the brand and manufacturing style. some colors are more consistent than others, but there are situations where a color can be named the same and contain the same pigments and STILL look wildly different depending on the ratio, binder, and paper you use. and that's not accounting for the way the pigment is processed. some pigments (like pv19 for example) can come in so many shades it's frankly kind of ridiculous.

anyway, my quest begins when i am, admittedly, in an edgier phase. i want a blood red, but not specifically because of that—no, i want it because it is THE IDEAL COLOR (to me) for a perfect, warm, slightly muted but still intense shade to add to a muted autumn watercolor palette. and... if you look at my whole theme, you probably know how much i love warm colors. i want to paint mushrooms. i want to dim down some of the brighter greens to make them autumnal. i want the perfect red to put as an undertone.

the search starts in earnest.

the immediate issue is this: reds (and purples and pinks) have horrifically bad lightfastness. not all of them, mind, but many are NOTORIOUS for fading under uv light, which means they will also fade if exposed to sunlight even in passing should it happen often enough. and—in especially bad cases where they're essentially working with dye and not pigment—they can even fade inside your notebook. inside of a drawer.

so not only are we working with an unfortunate pigment base (i'm simplifying here, there's way more nuance to this but shh) but we are working with one that skews heavily toward floral pinks or oranges. the red i'm searching for is warm, but not orange. dries dark but not brown. is transparent, not opaque. that last part is agonizing, because i also desperately do not want a color that will fade on me or generally destabilize, and most of the stable dark red pigments are EARTH pigments like red ochre (pr101) or the like. which, while fascinating because of their historical usage in things like pottery and even cave paintings that last to the modern day, are VERY OPAQUE. this is an issue with my preferred style of watercolor painting specifically, because opaque pigments tend to lift easier off the page and limit layering.

the search continues. pigment after pigment breaks my heart for one reason or another, drying too close to the cooler purpleish-red tint of wine at best. i think i find it in perylene maroon, but the drying shift (the difference between how a color looks wet vs after it dries on the paper) is so extreme that it loses the luminosity AND it's more opaque than most. i languish.

for a while my search turns to creation. i try and mix as many of my single pigment colors as i can into something that vaguely resembles what i'm looking for—so i take quinacridones and mix them with napthols, with nickel azos, with dashes of ultramarines and burnt sienna. everything turns out either just a bit too opaque, just a bit too muddy (that happens with multi-pigment mixtures, and is why so many people swear by single pigment colors. it's personal preference, really, great art can be made either way.)

still, nothing works. failure haunts me. i sit before a pile of used up watercolor paper that is literally covered edge to edge in nothing but similar red squares with various gradients and blooms as evidence of when i tried and failed to convince myself my efforts were close enough. i admit defeat.

in the meantime i shift my focus. i try and appreciate different color palettes and profiles, experimenting with things like fully transparent palettes (personal favroite) to fully opaque ones that function more like gouache. but despite finding appreciation for it, i still think about the damn red that i could never recreate. it kills me.

and then one day, a youtube video. a pigment is being discontinued, and the watercolor community is distressed. this happens a lot, because pigments are actually not always popular because of artists—sometimes beloved colors are put out of production because larger markets like car companies no longer find them popular enough to invest in. this time, the casualty is pr206, aka brown madder, aka quinacridone burnt scarlet.

let me tell you a little about quinacridones. they are genuinely remarkable colors. they have their own cult followings because of how bright and abnormally stable they are under uv light. they're transparent. they're luminous. they come in mostly shades of red and pink and purple, though there are a couple oranges and yellows in there. (there are no quinacridone blues, as far as i'm aware, but the phthalo blues have that category covered.) they also rewet beautifully, so you can put them on your palette and let them dry and not worry about it turning into a useless little rock of color that you can't get any pigment from anymore.

quinacridone magenta (pr122) is probably the most popular of these, the most often used besides maybe quinacridone violet (pv19). a few years prior we suffered the loss of quinacridone gold (po49) and since then people have been On Alert when it comes to losing these colors. i am one of them, because i never got the chance to even see po49 in person, and now the tubes are so stupid expensive that even the student grade versions go for Ridiculously High Prices on ebay, and the professional brands are being hoarded like (ironically) gold by anyone lucky enough to have a tube left over.

but back to our main character. not me, the pigment. pr206. i have legitimately never heard of this one, which to be fair is probably because i try to limit the random colors i fixate on since the hobby can easily get VERY expensive if you aren't careful. but it's a quinacridone, and that catches my eye.

i open the video.

now, i'm sure any artist out there will be familiar with the fact that screens don't display color consistently. it depends on your device, but most can agree that something that looks cooler on one may be warmer on the other, it's just what happens. but i see this color being swatched, and my brain implodes.

it's almost a perfect match.

it could work. it could. years of thinking that same thought have left me bereft and mistrustful of this specific quest marker, but the thought refuses to leave me. probably because the 'discontinued' label flashes like a neon sign.

i resist for about six months, and then i cave. at this point i have genuinely been trying and failing to find this color for upwards of five years. i am desperate, and the color might not be available anymore soon anyway, and apparently i am weak to sales pitches. (note: the color IS now unavailable in some brands, but others bought a decent supply and should have it available for at least a little while, alongside po48 which is quinacridone burnt orange, a favorite of mine and probably one of the only oranges i use regularly. both are discontinued officially, but they'll still be on sale till those supplies run dry.)

the color arrives. i grab my favorite brush. i pull out my stash of paper that i save for special occasions.

it's almost perfect.

i mix it with quinacridone burnt orange.

the result is, i swear, a perfect match for what i have been searching for.

it's warm. it dries dark but not dark enough to look brown. it keeps its luminosity (thank you quinacridones). it's fully transparent (thank you quinacridones). i genuinely feel the urge to weep, but i don't because i am clinging at last to the dredges of my sanity and also salt makes watercolor pigments behave differently and i will not risk this glorious moment. finally, after all these years, bill cipher has a gun i found the goddamn COLOR.

i mix it with warm yellows and with my favorite blues. with the pinks, just to laugh. life is beautiful and i am painting its sunsets, and i do not care if they look ridiculously messy. i have won.

the moral of the story is to never give up. or maybe it's to remember you never actually know everything about even the fields you love the most, because this color totally blindsided me despite being much more common than i expected. or maybe it's that i seriously needed to chill out for a while.

but yes. that is the tale of one (1) of the colors that has taken up residence in my soul. i hope you don't regret asking now lmao.

#ney's art tips (art questions)#ney's chatter (ask answers)#so also i said that a good alternative to pr206 is pr175 #but i'm actually not totally sure about that because i've never tried it myself #watercolor is an expensive hobby and that's part of why i swapped to digital orz #BUT! from comparisons i've seen they are at least similar enough to scratch the itch #ironically i think i still USE po48 more than i do pr206 #but that one is also In Discontinued Limbo where you can buy it but supply is indeterminately limited lmao #still a gorgeous color though.#... wow. this was incredibly niche and probably barely coherent i am so sorry LMAO #but thank you for indulging my color madness. it was the only hobby i had for *ages*.#long post #very very long post #good god is this my longest text post? aside from maybe a hive story?

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cherish--these--times · 7 months

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VERY LONG POST ALERT

I've been doing a SGA rewatch. Seeing John and Teyla in a new light and wanted to spread the love and share some thoughts! Bear with me on that one. They might be more to come.

I think The Legacy Series very cleverly exploited what had been established by the end of season 5. If we consider the Fandemonium books canon (Stargate Wiki certainly does) then John and Teyla are openly in love and in a committed relationship. The first couple of books reveal that Teyla had harboured feelings for him for a long time but believed he didn't see her in that way. Concept best illustrated by this scene, I believe. When Teyla offers a comfy thigh for his sleepy head and he doesn't say so much as a thank you and she looks discomfited to say the least.

And whether this was scripted or simply an acting choice on Rachel Luttrell's part, this look signifies a lot in an episode mentioning a man she has feelings for who has yet to make a move.

As stated in the books, following the deaths of Carson, Elizabeth and Kate, she sought comfort where she could find it, which was in the arms of a fellow Athosian whom she knew since childhood and who had the Gift as well. She tried to move on with her life with someone she trusted and loved. And it makes sense. Rachel Luttrell loved that about this storyline and I agree with her.

Truth be told, not much is happening regarding John and Teyla in the first three seasons, especially after season 1. John puts on the charm on her when they first meet the same way he does with every pretty girl they encounter on a mission, which clearly indicates that he finds her attractive. And she is INTO IT. Instantly. Her little smile and Colonel Sumner's raised eyebrow and barely concealed amusement LOL... The only moment of levity on his part regarding Sheppard...

You can glimpse that she might be falling for him right there and then. And the necklace scene.. Uuggghh the sexual tension there hehe.

John trusts her implicitly and immediately, it's beautiful to see. I love when he defends her against Bates when she's suspected to be a double agent for the Wraith. And he has little to show for it apart from the fact that he just really likes her and knows that she's a kind hearted person. It's not based on anything factual. Bates was absolutely right about that. And John losing his shit with him because he is well aware of that is delightful. He doesn't know why, yet, but he already adores her and will defend her honour to Earth and back (and that's a long way alright!). Same when she learns she has Wraith DNA and Bates once again suspects the worst. Teyla struggles to fit in and John is her anchor, for sure. Equally, I love when she volunteers to go through the gate with him when he has the iratus bug on his neck. She wants to do it straight away. Knowing she might not come back on the other side. She is already willing to do anything for him at the expense of her life and they've only known each other a few weeks by that point.

But after that first season... Nothing. Teyla finds an ally in Ronon as they both share the burden of not being from Earth and therefore being outsiders, to some extent. He takes John's place by her side and I am digging their friendship so hard it's unreal. Far more than I used to, actually. Ronon loves her so much it's so endearing. She is too reserved to show it in the same way but it's honestly so cute.

Regarding John, sure there is the Conversion episode. And to me it confirms what we already knew which is that John is attracted to Teyla and the virus lowered his inhibitions to the point that he just went and did what he probably thought about doing a handful of times. And the "He cares for you more than you know" body possession thing in The Long Goodbye is a clever way of insinuating that John has deeper feelings for her than he is letting on. Without truly committing to anything. And deeper feelings I believe he had from day one. That's how I had interpreted it. I just didn't think the writers were gonna do anything substantial about it.

And sure enough, John's relationship with her changes from season 2 onwards. It's subtle but you can feel that they have drifted apart, somewhat. Or perhaps things have now settled and John doesn't need to be so protective of her and her place on his team anymore. One thing I did notice is that Teyla is always annoyed when John flirts with other women. The camera is never focused on her specifically but you can see her doing a massive eye roll or else just staring at the back of his head everytime. Or sharing a look with Ronon. Sometimes all three LOL

I guess we can give season 3's episode The Ark an honourable mention for shippy content (and Sunday, more on that soon). When John is ready to die for her by landing the shuttle on the planet, even if Rodney deems it impossible. But that's just John for ya. He did the same for Elizabeth in The Real World. And Jennifer in The Seed. And for other people and Atlantis at large on too many occasions to count.

What the Remnants episode and subsequently the books did beautifully was to establish one paramount fact about John Sheppard. He considers himself a marked man whose impending death will be fate's retribution for his failure in Afghanistan. It was the defining moment of his character, I think. Every time he survives, it's just delaying the inevitable. And so risking his life trying to protect his team and Atlantis feels like fair dues. What else does he have to live for?

But then... Season 4 happened. And it is rather magnificent, in my humble opinion. I'm quite certain John is the one Teyla speaks of to her friend in Sunday. A man who is oblivious to her feelings for him. Very interestingly, that conversation about this mystery man happens at the exact same time Ronon is telling John that he always thought he and Teyla would hook up (Hurrah for Ronon, our biggest Sheyla supporter out there LOL). We know this because the explosion happens in both places shortly after. That, from a storytelling point of view, could not be more on the nose.

And so... in my view, Teyla got tired of pining. John wanted to spend time with her, risked his life saving her, freaked out when she was harmed but still, he did nothing. She was grieving. Kanaan was there. She knew and loved him. It made sense.

One thing I'm mad about is that, because the writers had to justify Rachel's pregnancy, they committed the ultimate sin: exposing Teyla's relationship with Kanaan to us rather than showing it. We had to make do with multiple characters saying something like "Oh the father is Kanaan, right? I noticed the way you spoke about him." KILL ME NOW.

Nothing is more off putting than forcing the audience to accept that something exists by telling them rather than giving them ON SCREEN evidence so they can buy it (looking at you, Ted Lasso). I mean... I would have probably hated the guy anyway (I am a shipper after all), but I don't know enough about him to have an opinion LOL. I only now understand Kanaan and his history with Teyla thanks to the books but it's certainly no thanks to the show.

Yet, it demonstrated one thing. The writers didn't care much about Kanaan. It was all about John and his feelings instead. They presented Kanaan as a fait accompli without doing any of the legwork to solidify their bond aside from some lukewarm scenes that defines them as nothing more than affectionate past lovers.

Instead, perhaps for the first time ever in the show, John gets emotional. Several times. And it's all to do with Teyla, let it be before or after the birth of Torren. More on that later.

I love this quote from the Outcast episode, when he goes back to Earth for his dad's funeral. I can't think of a better scene to encapsulate John's character:

SHEPPARD Well, maybe you meant something to him, too. You never know what people are thinking.

AVA Even those you're closest to?

SHEPPARD Especially those.

This is referring to his father who, to John's surprise, regretted the way things had ended between them. But in truth, I think it applies to John himself as well. That's Sheppard in a nutshell. Keeping his cards close to his chest and never letting the people he loves know how much they matter to him. They might be snatched away, or he might let them down, or he might die and cause them pain. This is post pregnancy-revelation by the way. Considering the context of the episode, this again clearly referres to his family (namely dad, brother and ex-wife), but it also applies to himself, the way he treats his friends and perhaps, dare I say, the fact that he's too late and Teyla is no longer free.

I believe we witnessed something rather fascinating on the writers' part once the decision had been made to make an unknown man be the father of Teyla's child (and rumour has it John has once been the main candidate). They could have dropped the John/Teyla ball right there and then. They in fact had, as far as I was concerned, except for the small hints in The Ark and Sunday mentioned above. But then they picked it up again in a way that leads me to believe they actually wanted to keep the ball.

(Sidenote: This has been proven true because it was planned that John and Teyla would get together in the movie following the end of season 5. As stated here by executive producer Joe Mallozzi. I discovered this after writing this post).

They had the perfect opportunity to have Teyla and Kanaan drive off into the sunset (I know they don't have a car... you get my point LOL) and leave it there but... No. They wanted to keep the romantic tension alive. Which is fantastic to me.

First little clue that feels different is that when they encounter Larrin again and John swiftly enters prince charming mode, the camera purposely shows Teyla's reaction. Which never happened before. This feels very deliberate. And for the first time she doesn't look mildly annoyed but simply... resigned.

It fits nicely with the narrative that she thinks John simply does not reciprocate her feelings. Consider that this is an odd directing choice to make when the writers have already told us she is pregnant with another man's child (though John does not know it yet by that point, which is important to note). To me, they clearly wanted to show that she still has feelings for him but probably thinks she made the right call by deciding to try and move on.

Now. To the main subject... Following Teyla's pregnancy revelation, it appears that John, probably against his will, caught (shudders) emotions.

In a predictable and intrinsically human move (if slightly infuriating), he kinda loses it the moment he learns Teyla is not only seeing someone, but has also conceived child with another man. Now, I know what you're thinking. I am reading too much into it with my shipper goggles on. Well, first of all, no because he loves her that's canon.

Secondly, he shows a level of anger and disquiet that we rarely get to see. He is still John Sheppard and is SUPER UNCOMFORTABLE with anything to do with feelings. But it's undeniable that he is shaken and rattled by the announcement of Teyla's pregnancy. In a way that immediately feels personal. Like not much else ever has on the show. Bear in mind, her people are missing. She is expecting a baby. This is good news and he should be over the moon for her. A glimmer of hope in an otherwise very bleak and gloomy time. But no.

The man is aaaaangry. One could argue that he is just upset because she's under his command and she hid something that could very well jeopardise their missions... That's very true, too (though she makes a point of saying Athosian women remain very active up until the birth of their child). But nobody else cares about that. Not even Sam, who would be well within her right to give Teyla an earful about this. She hid it from everyone but only he reacts so badly. Ronon could have been upset too! He is perhaps a closer friend to her by that point, yet he doesn't feel betrayed by her dissimulation. In fact, he could not be more supportive. Everyone but John is super happy for her. Kudos to Lorne for giving her a hell of a pep talk. I love Lorne. What a guy.

They all trust Teyla and know she can look after herself. John of all people knows that more than anybody else! But this is different. He always respected her decisions but this, he cannot cope with... That's not a direction the writers would have taken had they truly wanted to sail that ship once and for all (see what I did there?).

What he is saying is:

"You put yourself, your child and the rest of the team in danger by hiding crucial information from me. NOT COOL!"

Based on what follows in the show and the books (and the never to be seen movie script), what he is actually saying is:

"You slept with someone and I didn't even know about it and had I known I would have taken my head out of my ass sooner and now it's too late YOU'RE PREGNANT how could you do this to me?? Sure I flirt with every skirt in my vicinity, I give no evidence whatsoever that I love you except when I'm possessed by alien entities taking away my free will and therefore disclosing things I would rather keep buried as deep as Atlantis when we first found it. And I know you have a lot on your plate with your people missing and your child potentially being the last of them and whatnot but WHAT ABOUT MY FEELINGS TEYLA???"

I firmly believe that this is more than Teyla hiding the pregnancy and putting herself in harm's way. I have evidence of this because he loves her it's canon because in a couple of episodes later, in Quarantine, he is the one telling her that she will do more good as a mother by being on the field than by staying home.

And in season 5, in The Queen, she makes the decision to pose as a Wraith Queen and risk her life and John, though very concerned, supports her decision.

That and his faith in her ability to fend for herself since day one are proof, in my book, that his initial reaction was not entirely to do with worrying about her safety. Don't get me wrong, it partly is! And he is mad as hell because she put herself in danger and she's under his responsibility so if she and her child die, that's on him. He has every right to be pissed off. What strikes me though is not so much the reason for his anger but the fuel behind it. The immediacy of it. The "losing his cool in front of Ronon and in the middle of a corridor" type of shit. The inability to bottle things up the way he usually does. It's personal. He is affected in a way that's impossible to repress, which happens to be his coping mechanism of choice. Therefore all the more jarring when he fails to do it. And it's not the only time when it comes to Teyla and the daunting possibility that she might no longer be a part of his life the way she used to:

This scene is very interesting to me. Again with the "in a corridor and in public" thing. This time because he learnt that Teyla is considering leaving the team... And once again, he cannot contain his fury.

True, she has not been upfront about her intentions, probably because she feared his reaction... BOTH TIMES. Uhm...

Both times, she is going through the wringer and he lashes out because he doesn't know how to properly articulate that he is deeply, deeply affected. Teyla must have known this unconsciously because she chose to hide something from him twice. She knew that he would react badly. I think she knows that he is holding back on her and burying feelings. Women know these things. Teyla was a part of his world in a way that he thought was never going to change. But he was wrong. And facing that is unbearable for him, turns out. Considering that they get together in the books (or would have gotten together in the movie), his behaviour makes SO MUCH SENSE.

He's not always a dickhead though. In Quarantine he assures her that her boy will have a family no matter what. Even if she dies, they will look after him. And that is FREAKING AWESOME. He HATES talking about deep stuff. But he also knows she needs to hear from him, specifically, that she's an amazing warrior super mama who's not meant to stay home and change nappies and that they all will be there to look after mini-Teyla if anything happens.

It's unbelievably wholesome and further proof that John loves and understands her so so so so much. And the fact that when the baby kicks for the first time she takes his hand and he feels it...

And then climbs a fucking tower like a fucking prince when he senses that she's really starting to worry. He is already that kid's stepdad I tell ya. I know that Atlantis was emitting a signal that could attract baddies and that the city was vulnerable and he had to do it but the defining factor for his reckless Batman move was seeing Teyla distressed and you cannot convince me otherwise.

One thing that really struck me as well was that in the following episode, Harmony, two pretty women flirt openly with John and Rodney. The latter is hot and bothered whereas John is utterly unmoved. Which is a first. He is even the one who wants to cut this short and leave. Fascinating, right? The timing of this, to me, shows that John is not emotionally available in that moment. Not so soon after realising he lost his chance with Teyla. Sure, one of the women puts the charm on him times a hundred when she sees he's not keen on staying and she theatens to undo their alliance should he decline. And it works because John is still John and I'm under no illusion that he is immune to seduction. But it really dawned on me that yes... John is now aware of his feelings for Teyla. It becomes tangible, if subtle, because it's the MGM and they don't do shippy stuff.... Except for Rodney. Because Rodney is their favourite golden child LOL

That being said... it's still John Sheppard we're talking about. In season 5 he clearly wants to hook up with Larrin and then hangs out with sexy scientists because well..... Teyla is not impressed btw LOL

We can't really blame him. He thinks he missed his chance after all.

Now... Speaking of season 5...

I think it's fair to say that John Sheppard thought he would not die of old age. He was traumatised by Afghanistan (btw I think it's no coincidence Teyla was the only one who wasn't a threat to him in Phantoms, and appeared to him as someone he trusted and loved) and his failed marriage. By adding the otherwise utterly useless Dream Sequence between he and Teyla in Search and Rescue, it's clear to me the writers wanted to tell the audience John always had feelings for Teyla but had never allowed himself to go there because of the above. Also he perhaps had not realised the extent of those feelings. Until it was too late. Which is tragic. So I love, LOOOOOVE that they get together in the books. I love that he succumbs to his feelings for her and now has a partner and even a son to live for. Finally! Finally his existence is no longer about mere survival. It's what his character deserved all along. I love that she reminds him that he is a good man and adresses his fears head on. I love that he helps her embrace her Wraith heritage and her role as both a leader and a mother. I love that they lay kisses on each other's ugly parts. With nothing but mutual understanding, acceptance and love.

I love them your honour.

#stargate atlantis #sga #sheyla #john x teyla #john sheppard #joe flanigan #teyla emmagan #rachel luttrell #meta discussion #very very long post

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neopronouns-in-action · 8 months

Text

Before we begin, I highly recommend reading

Flatland: A Romance of Many Dimensions, by Edwin Abbott Abbott

(Project Gutenberg link, where you can read and download the book for free. You can also find many audiobook versions on youtube and the web archive)

(BTW, the word "romance" here is not referring to romantic love, it's the older version of the word that means a story with adventures and amazing quests.)

and

Transgender Warriors: Making History from Joan of Arc to RuPaul, by Leslie Feinberg

(Web archive link where you can read and listen to the book for free)

to best appreciate this short story.

___

Neopronouns in Action #062: Flatland Warriors: Ponder the Meaning of the Words, or, The Breaking Point.

The audiobook version of this story can be listened to here on the web archive: "https://archive.org/details/neopronouns-in-action/Neopronouns+in+Action+062+00+The+Breaking+Point+-+Context.mp3"

Neopronouns:

da/dar/darl/darkling

phi/phim/phis/phirself,

tuo/tuak/tuar/tuaresi,

Which all follow the same rules as he/him/his/himself:

Replace he with da, phi, or tuo

Replace him with dar, phim, or tuak

Replace his with darl, phis, or tuar

Replace himself with darkling, phirself, or tuaresi

EX:

"He is going to adopt a new puppy soon, as soon as he gets a fence set up around his yard so the puppy can go outside without him having to walk it. His uncle is going to help set up the fence, since he has a set of power tools he’s letting him use, since he lost his. He's going to buy toys and train the puppy himself.”

Becomes:

"Da is going to adopt a new puppy soon, as soon as da gets a fence set up around darl yard so the puppy can go outside without dar having to walk it. Darl uncle is going to help set up the fence, since he has a set of power tools he’s letting dar use, since da lost darl. Da's going to buy toys and train the puppy darkling.”

"Phi is going to adopt a new puppy soon, as soon as phi gets a fence set up around phis yard so the puppy can go outside without phim having to walk it. Phis uncle is going to help set up the fence, since he has a set of power tools he’s letting phim use, since phi lost phis. Phi's going to buy toys and train the puppy phimself.”

"Tuo is going to adopt a new puppy soon, as soon as tuo gets a fence set up around tuar yard so the puppy can go outside without tuak having to walk it. Tuar uncle is going to help set up the fence, since he has a set of power tools he’s letting tuak use, since tuo lost tuar. Tuo's going to buy toys and train the puppy tuaresi.”

= = =

Flyssa sighed as da rested in darl room, trying, unsuccessfully, to tune out the conversation da could hear from the doorway to the parlour.

Dearg had been forced to “invite” Lieutenant Kellite over for dinner after the lieutenant let slip several overt implications that Dearg could going to be accused, within the General's range of hearing, of impropriety if phi didn't prove that “He kept north a good, respectable house”, by spending the night plying phis superior officer with the best wines, meats, and deserts phis meager salary could afford.

Flyssa, of course, had no salary. Lines were not allowed to hold jobs, or own any property of their own. Da couldn't even go out to the market to buy groceries without an escort from either Dearg or one of phis polygon siblings or close cousins, or da would be arrested, most likely executed on the spot, and Dearg, having taken responsability for dar from darl father when they were married, would be charged with criminal negligence and attempted manslaughter.

Lines must be kept under the strictest control, you see, because they were dangerous and unpredictable. Being a line, they had only two faces, and two points, both sharper than the sharpest of trigons. Having no angles, they had no capacity for thought. They were barely even human.

All this was, of course, the reality mandated into law by the higher polygons. Started by those who proclaimed themselves cirles, and passed south, by force, through the descending ranks of the people forcibly labeled the lower classes.

Things had been like this longer than Flyssa had been alive, but not longer than darl grandna had been alive. When Flyssa had still been a child, and not old enough yet to be allowed to leave the house even with an escort, Grandna Tuokeli had told dar endless stories of what life was like before the Configurationists had come.

When tuo had been a child, when their country was still called by its true name of Ib-Wa, there had been no laws segregating people based on their numbers of sides, and lines had been allowed to do any job they wanted, they could go where they wanted, do anything anyone else could do. There were some tasks that only lines and the thinnest of triagonals could do, due to their thinner size allowing them to fit into smaller spaces than other shapes, but that was just how physical reality worked, it wasn't made north one day by a bigot and then mandated into law that pretended it had to be true by pure virtue of being a law.

And now Flyssa was an adult, darl grandna had had to flee the country several years past, and lines weren't even considered to be shapes at all, let alone shapes of equal value and ability as any other.

Dearg, mandated as a trigon of the lowest class, was regarded as only a single, miniscule step above Flyssa as far as the ruling powers were concerned. Phis angle, and thus, according to the Configurationists, brain, was so acute as to hardly exist. But it was an angle, and it did exist in its meagerness, and that was more than Flyssa had.

So Dearg was given the "honor" and "privilege" of serving in the Configurationist's army as a common foot soldier. The hours were long, the work gruelling, and those who did the work were regarded with complete disdain. The "equillateral" trigons who oversaw the "isoseles" were cruel, and viewed torture and execution for the smallest of infractions as "good old Circleday entertainment".

Bribes, such as the dinner Dearg was currently being forced to play host to, were a constant demand of the officers, further stripping the soldier caste of resources and putting them in constant debt. And if you refused to cave to the demands of your superior officer, or failed to supply them with the favors they demanded, it was inevitable that you would be the next one put in the torture block or publicly executed, with real mistakes blown out of proportion, or fabricated entirely out of thin air.

Most of the food and drink laid in front of Lt. Kellite had been snuck in in the middle of the night by their neighbors, all of them soldiers or families of soldiers stationed either in Dearg's regiment, or the other patrol whose territory overlapped with theirs in this corner of the city.

The officers had to know their demands were impossible for a single soldier's salary to supply, given that they were the ones who set the ration limits and pay rates, but anyone who dared to point out these facts to them was executed before they could finish getting the words out. If you wanted to survive as a member of the soldier caste, you had to jump when the officers said jump, and don't let things like basic math or logic or the price of fruit this time of year get in the way.

It had taken the pooled resources of twelve other households to supply the extravagent dinner Lt. Kellite was currently loudly enjoying in darl parlour, with Dearg eating phis portion with much quieter, carefully forced cheer and politeness, trying to hide phis hatred behind the proper demeanor of a host.

Flyssa could see through the charade like it wasn't there, and could only hope that Lt. Kellite was either less perceptive, or at least wouldn't care that the pleasantry was false. His every spoken breath, after all, was insult on insult, hidden behind a thin facade of complimentary-sounding words.

There were many among the soldier caste who'd given into their rage from the constant insults and lashed out at the offendor, only for all the other officers to proclaim them mad out of their minds, or so genetically barbaric that they didn't even understand the idea of a compliment. The "victim" (the officer), after all, never said an unkind word against them, and this was how the brutal, out of control soldiers repayed his kindness?

Clearly, these unprovoked attacks on innocent men of good standing was more proof that the "isosceles" were good only for the most dangerous, taxing manual labor as soldiers, or to be confined as exhibits in schools for the children of the higher ranking polygons to learn the art of recognition by feeling.

It took all of Fylssa's willpower to remain in darl room instead of rushing out to give the Lieutenant a peice of darl mind as the least drastic of all the options da had been considering since Lt. Kellite strode through the front door like he owned it.

In truth, he did. His family controlled this arm of the military, and they owned the land this house was built on. As part of the soldier caste, Flyssa and Dearg were only allowed to live on land controlled by the military. The salary Dearg was given for phis service was immediately returned in the form of rent and payment for food, and for any fees phi was charged as punishment for misconduct, either real or imagined.

Flyssa was trying to focus on darl part of the internal ledger of supplies available to dar and darl neighbors, purposefully trying to drown out the sounds from the parlour by immersing darkling in the task of mentally retallying the stores, so, horribly, dar missed it the first three times Dearg tried to call dar into the parlour.

Phi actually had to come into darl room to get dar, followed by the scornful laughter of the Lieutenant that was so raucus it finally knocked dar out of darl reverie to see darl husband's terrified eye looking in at dar through the thin doorway.

"Flyssa," Phi whispered desperately, "He wants to see you, he insists you must join us for desert. We can't keep him waiting, I already called three times."

Quietly horrified, Flyssa whispered back, "I'm sorry!"

Dearg winked at dar in the pattern for reassurance, while out loud phi raised phis voice to say, loudly enough that Lt. Kellite could hear with anger that wasn't faked, though its target was false, "When I tell you to come and greet our guest, Woman, you come! Don't you dare make me come and fetch you again and make our illustrious guest wait on you like a commoner! Attend to your configuration!"

This last statement was met with a very loud, very drunk repetition from Lt. Kelllite, and followed by another burst of laughter.

As part of the show they had to put on together, Flyssa said nothing, and followed Dearg back into the parlour in the silent, meek subservience befitting the lowly wife of a lowly soldier.

Dearg entered the room first, as propriety demanded, and Flyssa stood next to phir to greet Lt. Kellite in the formal, "Greetings, my Lord trigon, Lieutenant Kellite. I greet you as a humble line, and swear my presence will not sting you."

The line had been first spoken by the wife of one of the higher-ranking self-proclaimed circles, and was now considered a requirement for any line greeting an unrelated polygon.

Lt. Kellite, who was at this point very drunk, laughed again, and called, "You have her very well trained, soldier! That was most dignified and proper...for a line of her lineage!"

Dearg was expected to laugh, so phi did, trying to cover north how angry phi was. Flyssa was expected to say nothing, so da remained silent. Lt. Kellite heard neither response over the sound of his own uncontrolled laughter.

When Lt. Kellite was done laughing, there was a tear in his eye, which he wiped away with one cilia, then blinked at the two of them as though seeing them for the first time.

He began to chuckle again. Why he'd demanded such a large bottle of wine when he clearly couldn't handle even a fraction of it, they would never know.

"Did you know that from this angle--" And he laughed on the word angle,"--you look exactly the same? All I can see are the glows of your eyes, like there's not an angle between you!"

Neither of them said anything, because there was no good response available to them. There was nothing wrong with Dearg's shape any more than there was Flyssa's, but that's not how the Configurationists saw it.

For a Configurationist to say that Dearg was indistinguishable from Flyssa -- a trigon from a line -- it was intended as the gravest insult imagineable. Lines were not considered shapes, they weren't considered human. They were regarded as unthinking creatures of pure emotion when even that much was granted to them, incapable of logic or real thought or self-conception.

The rules of Configurationist society demanded that Dearg be humiliated and infuriated by the claim that phi could not be told apart from a line. And those very same rules also demanded that phi be obedient and subservient, never contradicting phis "betters" or implying they were anything but perfect. Phi was an isosceles trigon whose angle was so acute phi was almost indistinguishable from a line.

There was no way to respond to Lt. Kellite's insult without losing, so phi chose the option least likely to get phirself killed, and remained silent.

Lt. Kellite eventually got over his own hilarity and calmed south enough to demand that Dearg return to the table, and that Flyssa serve them desert.

They acquiesced to his demands, Dearg returning to phis spot at the table opposite Lt. Kellite, and Flyssa moving to the cool room to fetch the pudding that had been hastily thrown together from ingredients from all the neighbor's stores.

Da gently probed the surface with a cilia, and was relieved to see that it had set properly, the surface jiggling firmly at darl touch rather than moving like the liquid it had started out as.

Moving carefully so as not to break the still-fragile texture, Flyssa carried the tray back into the parlour, careful this time to make sure da was paying attention to the conversation incase da was called on again.

But the conversation had drifted to the almost-harmless topic (No topic of conversation was ever truly safe with an officer, who could take any word as an insult worthy of capital punishment) of the weather lately, with Lt. Kellite forcing Dearg to agree with him that all the rain they'd been getting was making the lower classes lazier, letting them think they could get away with doing half the work at slower the pace.

Dearg was not allowed to point out that it was just a fact of reality that you physically couldn't move as fast in the rain as you could dry, so phi could only nod along and give agreeing-sounded noises whenever Lt. Kellite demanded, "Don't you agree?".

Flyssa was not allowed to say anything at all besides the required, "My Lord trigon, I serve you" as da deposited the the pudding dish on the table and backed away at a respectful speed to wait against the northern wall, careful to keep darl eye turned towards Lt. Kellite so he could see dar at all times.

This also had the affect of making sure da could hear his every word loud and clear, despite how much da wished da could shut them out.

"So, Private," Lt. Kellite boomed when he was halfway through the bowl of pudding, absentmindedly throwing the peices of the expensive dried fruit he didn't like over his shoulder so they fell to the southern wall, "How long have you been married to this fine young line here?"

The words themselves seemed positive, but the way in which they were said dripped with derision and barely-contained disgust.

"It will be five years this New Year's Eve, my Lord trigon." Dearg replied, not letting any reaction show in phis voice, and careful to use the Configurationist term for the holy night rather than its real name.

"She's got Irregularity in her line, doesn't she? Her grandmother was mentally unsound, wasn't she? Destroyed after dozens of failed attempts to treat her in the state sanitorium, if I remember right. That was her grandmother, wasn't it?"

Dearg did not let any emotion enter phis voice as phi replied, "Yes, my Lord."

"And it hasn't been passed south to this generation, has it?"

"No, my Lord." Dearg lied while Flyssa held darl breath in sudden aphrension.

"And five years, really?" Lt. Kellite continued as though he hadn't noticed their reactions. A dangerous note had entered his tone, though he still kept north the pretence of merriness. "Five whole years sheltered under my roof, and fed at my table, protected by my wall, and you've yet to produce any new isosceles to fill my ranks in repayment, nor any new lines to marry to your fellow soldiers."

He tapped one cilia against the table as if in deep thought. "Why is that, I wonder? Is she too ugly for you? Or perhaps she did inherit her grandmother's Irregularity."

He rolled his eye to look directly at Flyssa as he continued, "Some Irregularities are invisible on the surface, you know. The doctors only find them after an autopsy is performed. Perhaps I should have her destroyed and we can find out, and find you a new wife. Or perhaps--!" His voice rose higher to cut off Dearg's instantaneous, helpless protest, snapping his eye back to regard Dearg with all the force of a javelin, "Perhaps your vertex, being so acute, has rendered you immune to the wiles of the feminine persuasian. After all..."

His voice dropped to a confidential stage whisper. "You're so thin, you can hardly be told from a line yourself. It'd be only natural for your brain, so acute it's barely there, to be scrambled about which sex to be attracted to. I'll bet you're not even attracted to lines, are you? You can't help it. You don't have any children because you've only got eyes for proper shapes, don't you?"

Flyssa and Dearg held the same terrified breath, frozen in their places, too afraid to move or speak.

Lt. Kellite enjoyed their fear, and gloatingly let the silence hang over the room like a pall for almost a full minute, savoring every panicked heartbeat that made their eyes flicker in distress they couldn't conceal. From his angle, he could see both their eyes, and they could see his.

Finally, just as Flyssa was beginning to think that da would have no choice but to kill Lt. Kellite where he sat, and make a desperate attempt to flee to the north for asylum, just as darl grandna had so many years ago, the officer began to laugh, the sound like freezing ice in the veins of his unwilling audience.

Flyssa forced darkling to unobtrusively relax the tense stance da'd adopted, tried to slow darl racing heart. He was drunk, he'd had almost the entire bottle of wine by himself, he probably didn't even know what he was saying, and wouldn't remember it in the morning to accuse--

"I think your wife should return to her room, don't you, private? Let the two of us talk alone, man to man."

The words themelve were simple, neutral in their literal interpretation. The way they were said...

The room went silent again, the kind of silence that only death can carry.

Dearg was in shock, too horrified to react. Phi just sat there helplessly at the table, staring across at the Lieutenant, unable to speak.

"Leave us, line." Lt. Kellite said, in the off-hand tone of one accustomed to being obeyed without question.

There were many injustices that Flyssa had endured since da'd been born. Too many to count, too many to remember. Too many that da didn't want to remember.

Too many times, da had been the one shocked and helpless, unable to defend darkling. Outnumbered, overpowered, too beaten south and bruised to struggle. When da had been young, after darl mother had died, darl grandna had protected dar.

But darl grandna had had to leave the country to avoid execution, and tuo couldn't bring dar with tuok.

Many abuses da'd been forced to accept as da grew older, many da had learned, by the pain of necessity, to brace darkling against in the only hope of survival.

"I said leave us!" Lt. Kellite snapped, spinning to face dar, enraged by darl disobedience. "Are you irregular? Did you not hear me? Get out of here, woman! Go back to your room!"

Darl heart was beating so fast it was like a single drawn out tone instead of a drum. Rage was boiling in darl heart so powerful da couldn't believe it was only in darl mind.

It felt like the air itself was shaking with darl wrath, like the house should shatter around dar.

The rage was twisting and squirming in darl insides like snakes, and da could no longer hear darl own heartbeat over the roaring sound filling darl ears.

"What are you--?!" Lt. Kellite's terrified shout was just barely loud enough to reach darl conciousness, almost enough to break through the tsunami of rage sweeping over dar, but by then it was too late.

The transformation was on dar.

Flyssa couldn't see it happening, because darl eye was gone, but da could feel it. Darl once almost pefectly straight line shattered, but the fragments did not fall south, and darl mind did not break with them. New lines were forming in the cracks, shooting out and filling in darl sense of the space around dar as new cilia erupted from the surfaces, twisting and twitching to map dar surroundings.

Da had broken through the wall behind dar like it wasn't there, bringing the cold north wind to spiral and eddy in darl new angles.

Da could sense Lt. Kellite's terrified retreat in front of dar, every time he moved, darl new cilia caught the movement in the air like ripples in water, and Lt. Kellite was a struggling fish.

He was screaming, crying out for help, for reinforcements, for his soldiers to save him.

The fury, momentarily abated by the shock of the transformation, swept over dar again, and with a shriek of rage, da leapt in pursuit, slashing through the frame of the Men's door like it was paper, and out into the cold night and the honeycomb of houses that surrounded theirs.

Darl vision was gone, but darl hearing had been enhanced, and da could hear the families in the houses around dar shouting and whispering fervently in confusion and fear.

Da spun, trying to locate Lt. Keller through the wake of his movement, but the wind was strong and confused.

Then -- "He went west! North of Asi and Saber's house!"

Dearg's voice, behind dar, out of reach at a safe distance, guiding dar to darl target.

Trusting phim implicitly, Flyssa leapt towards the alley phi'd indicated, and tore off after Lt. Kellite, pealing out, in a sudden burst of inspiration, darl peace-cry, and discovering only as da began to sing that each of darl new stinging points contained a new mouth, too, each with a different voice.

Twelve voices rose above the wind, above Lt. Kellite's cry of fear, harmonizing in wordless emotion, filled with all the unspeakable rage that had finally burst free from darl heart.

Da was able to move faster now than da had ever been before, and unlike Lt. Kellite, da was familiar with their surroundings, knew intimately the map of hexagonal houses that belonged to darl friends and family and neighbors.

The only thing preventing dar from immediately catching north with him and tearing him to peices was darl unwillingness to injur any of darl neighbors by crashing into their houses or hitting anyone unawares. Lt. Kellite had no such worries, and charged ahead with reckless abandon. But he was hopelessly lost, unable to tell the houses and their inhabitants apart. They were just lowly Isosceles, barely more than lines, barely human. He'd never needed to know their names, or where they lived, who their neighbors were, before.

Even without darl sight, Flyssa knew where da was in relation to the rest of the town, and darl confidance only grew the further dar went, because as soon as da began to sing darl peace-cry, those watching the chase from the relative safety of homes began to gleefully join in.

Da recognized each of their voices, and used their identities to further cement darl location in darl mind even as Dearg continued to call directions behind dar.

Those in front of dar, where Lt. Kellite was fleeing, modulated their voices, raising the pitch whenever he got closer to them, and lowering it when he passed them, always with equal parts rage and laughter in their voices, his screams for help, of rage, of terror, drowned out as, every time he tried to force his way into a house, he was immediately thrown back into the street and forced to keep fleeing or be destroyed right there by the shapes who had emerged to defend their households.

His last mistake was trying to shove his way desperately through the Women's door on the Excal-Dagger house, only to be caught fast in the too-narrow gap, and unable to move to defend himself as the shapes within the house turned in a frenzy and began to assault his front side without mercy.

He managed to back out, blinded and bleeding, and turned to flee again --

And was struck straight through by darl longest point, cleaving his brain from the rest of his body in a single strike.

His blood was purple, the color of death, the color of life, the color of rebirth.

It tasted sweet, and the war-howls as darl friends, family, and neighbors painted themselves with his spilled blood and began to undergo the transformation themselves, baying for the blood of the sudden, unplanned revolution, tasted sweeter still.

#long post #very long post #very very long post #neopronouns #neopronouns in action #short story #short stories #original fiction #fiction #writing prompts #story ideas #Flatland #Flatland OCs #Flatland a Romance of Many Dimensions #Fascist Shapes in Space #werewolves #werestars #yes #I'm stealing that

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symphonyofsilence · 2 years

Text

Of "The Rings of Power" and its many problems

so, so many trailers had been released and all of them are centered around Galadriel & not even one of them had mentioned her canonical ambition of becoming a queen.

I understand that she’s now a military commander and military commanders are and do raise in positions of power. but if she does, it’s not because she was actively seeking it.

what they’ve kept telling us about Galadriel so far is that apparently, only now after thousands of years she has been informed that her brother is dead. (*sarcasm*) & is seeking revenge and for that, "Galadriel has been on a quest for over a thousand years. Scouring Middle-earth."

& if you don't show that she was trying to gain political power, then you're not showing that she desired power, then she's not fulfilling the very wish that brought her to Middle-earth. She wanted to rule her own land, you’re not showing that she left everything she had in Valinor to come to Middle earth to spend years seeking that power, & if you're not showing that she desired power, then there will be no weight to the scene where Frodo offers her the ring & she refuses for the sake of Middle-earth, even if the destruction of the one ring results in the destruction of her own ring & her power. She "will diminish, go into the west, and remain Galadriel."

So, you know WHERE the character will end up & you have a whole series to get her to that point, but you don't, & you make a whole other bullshit not-arc cuz you believe that the only way to write a strong female character™️ is to give her a sword & make it her whole character. I've talked about that problem here. & "the authentic observer" explained the problem in depth in her video essay "the Desecration of feminity" way better than I.(go watch it! It's fantastic!)

and I thought I was being nitpicky when I said that I felt like I just witnessed a student walk up to their Professor & call them by their first name (in our country it’s very disrespectful) when Elrond called Galadriel by her first name instead of “Lady Galadriel”. but really, no, it’s not. It’s even more testimony to how they keep insisting on reducing Galadriel’s position, age, wisdom, caliber, magnitude, and power. one sure way to show such things in a character is by showing others’ reverence towards them. Elrond & Galadriel are not peers to be on first-name terms. they’re not the same age and not on the same level. Galadriel is 4 generations Elrond’s senior on his father’s side, and three Generations older on his mother’s side, she’ll become his mother-in-law, She’s seen the light of the trees, she’s been taught by Aule, by Melian the Maia, she’s seen Elrond’s legendary ancestors, and their land, she’s survived the first age! living with Maedhros & Maglor, Elrond has seen firsthand what the war did to people, and he would respect Galadriel immensely for surviving that. he wouldn’t try to advise her to PuT uP HeR SwoRd, which by the way was a very cringe line, that whole conversation was very cringe, like every other dialogue we’ve heard so far of the show. It sounds like George Lucas is trying his hand at writing like Tolkien, but I digress, Elrond wouldn’t do that because aside from him living through the first age and many personal adversaries and being a loremaster & very wise & having the gift of foresight & canonically always perceiving evil before it reveals itself & suspecting Annatar from the get-go, he would immensely respect Galadriel, he would listen to what she had to say and take her advise & in cases such as this, doubt himself first before doubting her. she knew she’s much wiser. and he would call her “Lady Galadriel”.(these aside, even Maeglin & Aragorn called their mothers “Lady”, and Aragorn called Arwen “lady Undomiel”, and Arwen & Idril called their husbands “lord” & Maedhros called his uncle “lord”. that was just how they talked back then. at least that’s how the “royalties” talked, and by showing them talking like that, you capture the era you’re trying to show. and also the class of the characters you’re showing. GoT understood that. but I wouldn’t nitpick this if It wasn’t for Elrond calling Galadriel by her first name alone, and it wasn’t after many attempts at assassinating Galadriel’s character.)

& then there was that scene of her companion throwing her like a baseball ball. That aside from that being SO FUCKING STUPID OH MY GOD WTF WHAT WERE THEY THINKING! could you imagine someone throwing book!Galadriel, Fingolfin, or Elrond or Feanor like that?! No! ‘cause they great lords & ladies! like second age Galadriel is! even in the show, she’s the COMMANDER of the army!

& she's apparently, as morfydd Clarke said "on a quest for revenge". When has ever revenge worked out for any Tolkien character? Fëanor was after revenge, his sons were, Thorin Oakenshield was, Turgon took revenge when he pushed Eol to his death. Even Eowyn was not after revenge when she killed the witch king of Angmar. She was just protecting her uncle's body.

all their anger was justified! But the story is against revenge. Revenge is answering violence with violence. & the story, written by a war Veteran, is against violence.

& also she's described as "brash & angry". "Angry" is never a positive feeling in Tolkien's writings. Fëanor was angry, three of the sons of Fëanor were angry (even his "better" sons are never described as angry), Fingolfin was angry moments before his death, Melkor was angry, and Turin was angry. Anger was people's downfall. & yes, Book!Galadriel when she decided to "pursue Fëanor in anger"! But what happened? They crossed the frozen Hell in anger and lost people dear to them (& probably blamed themselves cuz they were the ones leading the rebels.) just to find out that Fëanor was dead. & what reunited the Noldor & made them strong & triumphant & resulted in the long peace was Fingon's kindness that made him let go of his anger & forgive the Fëanorians even though he had every reason to hate them when the burning of the ships resulted in his brother's & his sister-in-law's death. Then Galadriel was taught for years by Melian the Maia. She must have learned her anti-anger lessons by now.

"Good" people or "good' warriors are like Finrod the beloved, Fingon who "troth and justice he loved and bore goodwill to all, both Elves and Men, hating Morgoth only; he sought not his own, neither power nor glory", Faramir who did not "love the bright sword for its sharpness, nor the arrow for its swiftness, nor the warrior for his glory. only that which they defend.", Elrond "as kind as summer" Peredhel (notice how Tolkien does use "as strong as a warrior but ends the description with "as kind as summer" as though this was the most important & impressive part.) Or BOOK!GALADRIEL!

because being gentle, mild-mannered, nice & kind is not weakness! (Just coincidentally traditionally feminine qualities...hmmm. telling.)

Actually, when you don't give into anger it shows that you're a master of your emotions and behavior. Things cannot easily provoke you. You're in control. & since anger is usually due to other emotions, it also shows that you can process your own emotions. It’s a lot more powerful.

I've also talked here about why her motivation sounds like Fëanor & how they could make it actually meaningful. But I highly doubt that they would end it like this. I'm not saying that she should never be angry. Just that the moral of the story should be anti-giving-in-to-anger as per Tolkien. Yes, make her go after revenge & be angry. But then make her realize that she's becoming the very thing she hated & anger is burning her life away (& maybe make her do sth horrible like unleash all her power without control & hurt some innocents) and let her let go of her revenge. But judging by the route they took, and what they did until now to her character, I don't think it's going to end like this. "Anger" is cool & badass for women in the eyes of Hollywood. You know all these things that are contributed to toxic masculinity like acting on anger, forcing yourself to be stoic & emotionless, not showing vulnerability, acting rudely towards your subalterns & peers, that are condemned, you know, "toxic"? Yeah, it's toxic for men. But women? Nah, it's badass. Do it.

As I've said before I don't have any problem with Galadriel wielding a sword & going to battles, there are parts in the books that indicated that she did.

What I do have problems with, is turning this

To this

'cause apparently, the first one (the canonical one) is not powerful enough. Probably because it's ladylike 'cause with it being said & shown multiple times in the book that Galadriel is very powerful, I don't see what else would be the problem.

& again, could you imagine book!Galadriel, Fingolfin, or Fëanor in this pose?

No, 'cause it's not "genteel" behavior! Being "noble" is a huge factor in Tolkien's writings & noble people act like the court-appropriate upbringing they had!

and I think we all know why there is no word of Celeborn and Celebrian so far at least in the marketing: strong women don’t give in to patriarchy by marrying a man and becoming mothers.

(also you know that you don’t have to make your male characters weak so your female characters can be strong. right? you know it’s very offensive and patronizing like putting an adult in a competition among children to win? right? and besides that, every male character telling Galadriel to “put up your sword” and “why do you fight” so Galadriel can say that she will always fight and “there is a tempest in me” is very cringe you know?)

but enough about Galadriel.

not only they don’t understand the themes of the book but they also went for Tolkien’s worldbuilding!

you know how Tolkien invented some languages & then realized that he needed a world for those languages & then wrote his stories?

well, Amazon went for the languages & the worldbuilding.

there is a hobbit named Elanor. which is a Sindarin name. the name of a flower that the Eldar brought from Tol eressa to Numenor. both lands that the hobbits never set foot into. they also never met any elves. the elves didn’t know that they existed.

let alone that no hobbits should have any important roles in the second age & Harfoots ARE hobbits!

And the calm & quiet & anti-adventurous nature of the hobbits except the Tooks was part of the world-building. So our heroes could be unremarkable persons of an unremarkable community that left their peaceful lives behind so they could change the world without actually having such responsibility so that the moral of the story could be that "Such is of the course of deeds that move the wheels of the world: small hands do them because they must, while the eyes of the great are elsewhere." & "even the smallest person can change the future."

& ELANOR was significant for Sam, a gardener who travelled through Lorien & saw the flowers & brought the gift of Galadriel with him & revived the Shire after the war. & FRODO was the one who suggested it! It was a big, beautiful moment! Elanor, Keeper of the Red Book of Westmarch must be the first hobbit to be named Elanor!

also, there are two Durin at the same time. they’re father and son. the showrunners said that it’s because of the time compression. but that’s not a convincing reason. the time compression itself doesn’t sound good. how are you going to compress a whole age? not only it will destroy how powerful Sauron was to gain and hold power over Middle-earth for so many years, but it also ruins the rich history of Numenor and its slow, tragic demise. (fast corruption arcs are either like Anakin’s and show! Daenerys’, or look like the character or characters were evil from the beginning.)

also, OC Pharazon’s son is named Kemen. a Quenya name. you know, the Pharazon who hated anything elvish & so firmly believed in only using Aduniac that he even changed Tar-Miriel’s name to aduniac Ar-Zimraphel?

unless they address it in the series (like, say that Kemen’s mother was the one who named him, & that’s why she’s not married to Pharazon anymore cuz they had widely different beliefs, & the name shows how different Kemen is to his father or something like that) it’s just another testimony to their ignorance, with what I’ve seen so far, I don’t have much hope.

& yes, the long hair of the elves, & the beard of the dwarves was unique & proper for their races & suit them & made the elves graceful & ethereal & the dwarves rough. & changing them was breaking the lore & also in the case of female dwarves, once again, trying to appease wider audiences by eliminating creative elements of the fantasy world.

but it was part of the worldbuilding! different communities have different beauty standards & different clothes & hairstyles & different everything!

like in the real world, Chinese people all had long hair 'cause they believed that all parts of their bodies, including their hair, were a gift from their parents & cutting their hair was an offense to their parents. cutting them was for nuns or criminals. native Americans kept their hair long 'cause they believed that long hair shows a connection to nature & power. It’s like if GoT cut the hair of the Dothrakis & or ATLA cut the topknots of the fire nation! it’s not just about appearances, but culture, beliefs, and history, too! like, family is important for the Chinese & nature for the native Americans, etc...

so the long hair of the elves, & beard of the dwarvendams showed their culture, beliefs, history & in the case of the dwarves, genetics,

& It’s funny how some rightists are screaming about how the show is woke while the show is here like, God forbid, traditionally feminine women are strong & powerful & women have facial hair & men have long hair?! not in this house!

& I wouldn’t have this much problem with it had the showrunners not LIED ABOUT ALL THESE!

and well, I think all of these, whether it’s changing a rich, beloved character to the point that it’s unrecognizable from the original because they don’t understand and appreciate the original character because they don’t give enough time to thinking about it, or not understanding or appreciating the themes & the worldbuilding, & or coloring fabrics like metal or scale to look like armor & not even bother to edit out the folds of the fabric, and not bother to use more creativity in the designs of the character, or find a more beautiful wig for Galadriel, or bother to use any accessory for any character, I think it just speaks of lack of love.

and lack of love & appreciation results in a lack of dedication & half-hearted products,

nobody forces fan artists or pays them to draw their favorite characters in the most beautiful way they can imagine. they do it because they love them. nobody forces fanfiction writers to write about their favorite character in the most in-character way they can think of. It’s because they appreciate them.

I don’t think you should make any adaptation of any book unless you love that book. & I don’t see any love in Amazon’s LOTR.

#I think the image of the LOTR!Galadriel is from the amazing ifallelseperished #lotr on prime #the rings of power #rings of power #trop #rop #lotr trop #tolkien #amazon lotr #rop critic #galadriel #elrond #long post #very very long post #tolkien meta

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cookinguptales · 8 months

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travel rambling!! under the cut!! because I do intend to ramble!! a lot!!

like if you thought that wwdits was a hyperfixation of mine, you've never heard me talk about some of the religious traditions I've studied. lmao

SO first of all, religious syncretism is when elements of two or more religions/traditions are incorporated into religious practice. A crossover episode, if you will, and I am obsessed with it. When I was in college studying religions and folklore, it quickly became a driving force in my intellectual curiosity.

I've always been really interested in how people pick and choose from different traditions to create their own personal belief systems, and syncretic religions can be this on a micro or macro level. We could be talking about something as individualized as a self-identified pagan assembling a collection of beliefs and rituals from various world mythologies and written/online sources, or we could be talking about something as established as Louisiana Voodoo, which is a syncretic religion with strong influences from Roman Catholicism, various West African religions, and Haitian Vodou.

Syncretic religions form in a lot of ways... immigration, colonialism, natural spread of tradition, purposeful assemblage of disparate ideas, etc. Sometimes there's a history of blood, sometimes a history of love, sometimes a little bit of both. And man, I feel like there's just something so human about it.

The thing I love best about stories is the way they grow and change within us. When you hear a story, you resonate with certain parts of it. You remember some parts best. And when you retell that story, you can't help but imbue it with a little bit of your own self. The parts you loved and the parts you hated and the parts you want to emphasize or deemphasize or embellish. You can't hear a story without taking it into yourself, and you can't tell one without making it your own -- even if you retell it word for word.

And I guess religious syncretism is the final form of that, a little bit? Taking ingredients from every part of your life, real and imagined and studied and genetic, and mixing them together into the precise stew that nourishes you best, either on an individualized or communal level.

I digress.

I started out with Egyptology in school, abandoned that for several reasons, and realized what I really loved learning about was religion, especially on a practical and/or vernacular level. (i.e. what people actually do rather than the ur version of whatever philosophy we're talking about.) Then Some Stuff Happened and I added on East Asian Languages and Civilizations and really started leaning into learning about Japanese folklore and religions, especially once I started studying in Kyoto.

When I was studying in Japan, I really wanted to learn a lot about Shinto. The concepts behind it had been kind of ill-defined for me, and I wanted to really nail down what people were even talking about when they talked about Shinto. But... to my surprise, even the Japanese people I talked to were really vague on the subject. Which made sense, I guess, as I learned more about it.

I was really, really lucky, actually, because a professor who knew quite a lot about Shinto came to teach at my (American) school shortly before I graduated. It's not easy to find good classes on that subject in the US, especially outside of the west coast and Hawaii. But we had a whole symposium where experts from all over the world came and discussed various research projects on the subject and I was So Happy. lmao

I'm not... gonna get too into Shinto right now. My final assignment for that class, IIRC, was to write a 15 (20?) page paper on the topic "what is Shinto?" so that... might give you an idea of how complicated the question is. lmao.

Suffice it to say, for now, that Shinto is a name that we've retroactively applied to a series of disparate practices and belief systems in what would eventually become Japan. So... in that respect, it's an indigenous religion of Japan, or at least a modern understanding of many of them.

(People think of Japan as one cohesive country because it is now, but maybe think of that period as being more like Ancient Greece? Lots of small little villages and towns (think city-states) that were separated by topographical features and therefore had their own cultures before they were unified into the country we know of as Japan much later.)

Shinto, as a modern concept... ugh, it's still super complicated. There are deities or spirits called kami, and there are several big, important ones like Amaterasu and Susanoo, but also there's just this thought that almost everything can contain a kami because everything has a spirit. (It's animism, baby.) So there is a spirit of that big boulder, a spirit of that mountain, a spirit of that tree, and they're all kami. There are literally thousands of kinds of kami, and they're everywhere at all times. People can become kami after they die, man-made objects can become kami. (Sort of Velveteen Rabbit style.) And in Shinto shrines, these kami are enshrined and venerated and kept happy. Like any deity, they can help or they can hurt, y'know?

There's... a lot more to it than that, some of it extremely political, but that's the essence of it, I think. Kami veneration. (What that entails is... debatable, too! haha)

God, and that was my short version. That's not even what I wanted to talk about.

All that is to say that that's what I was trying to study my first time in Japan. The second time I was in Japan (a few years ago) I heard about Shugendo, which is a highly syncretic mountain-based religion in Japan that has dwindled quite a bit over the years, but not entirely.

Shugendo, to my understanding, is a syncretic religious tradition comprised of elements from Shinto, Buddhism (especially Esoteric Buddhism), and local traditions about local deities. It's extremely mountain-centric, and most important places in Shugendo are on top of mountains. (Which... make them very difficult for my disabled ass to get to.)

The point, though, is the climb. It's a highly ascetic tradition, so practitioners, or yamabushi, would often push themselves to their physical and mental limits. They'd live out in the wilderness, often alone for long periods of time, and make do with what they found out there. One of the places we're going has a very distinct food tradition just because it's largely born out of the increasingly creative scavenging yamabushi would do while out on the mountain. They figured out how to eat a lot of things that most people would not eat. lmao

The important part here, though, is near-constant meditation and going to a sacred place (the mountain) and becoming one with that sacrality. It's trying to find enlightenment through nature and the divine. It feels similar to the Romantic concept of the sublime to me, y'know? And there's stuff about gaining superhuman spiritual powers through all this, too, though I don't know as much about that. (YET.)

One of the reasons why it's kind of hard to learn about is that there are very few practitioners these days. This is partially due to a generally dwindling number of people who identify as religious in Japan, partially because there were never that many practitioners to start with, and partially because... it was illegal for a while! (More on that later.)

Man, though, I wanna learn about it.

Shugendo has kind of become my white whale over the last few years, and there's a lot more information now on the internet than there was when I first started learning about it, but it's still often frustratingly vague!

This time, though, my dad was like "well, we're going to be there for quite a while and you already showed me most of the important tourist spots last time, so is there anywhere off the beaten path you really want to go?"

Now. This was a very brave thing to say to me, considering some of the weird-ass places I dragged him to last time. This man turned and looked me in the eye, the same woman who made him go to the moss temple and the cricket temple in the same goddamn day that we wandered through the bamboo forest in Arashiyama at night after I cheerfully told him that the shrine there was most famous for a ghost story. He said it was one of the creepiest experiences of his life!

haha. memories.

anyway. He looked me in the eye and asked me if there was anywhere unusual I wanted to go. And I slapped open a map of Wakayama and was like I WANNA DO THE KUMANO KODO.

Now... I was not going to hike the entirety of an ancient pilgrimage route. Like I said before, my dumb (but highly excitable) ass is disabled. I cannot physically do that. But I wanted to see the main shrines and temples on the route (shrines=Shinto, temples=Buddhist!) and hike a very small portion of the 1000-year-old route, some of which STILL EXISTS AS A ROAD. *_*

And I wanted to go because... Shugendo!!!! The Kumano Kodo is a popular pilgrimage route for yamabushi!!! That whole Kumano region is sacred for practitioners of Shugendo, and I was like! Heck yeah! I can learn a thing!

But... Dad got injured. ;; And I'm used to pain, but he is not. So I'm not going to make the poor man hike. I want him to heal and get better and not strain his torn abdomen too much.

So I kind of abandoned that idea.

(Side note: I was asking Dad what he thought his physical limits were going to be so I didn't overplan and he was like "well, you can't do that much either, so I don't think we'll do too much" and I was like "what do you mean?" And he said "well, there's nothing that'll hurt me that won't hurt you, too, and you're not going to want to hurt yourself to see things." and I was like "hmm" and I realized that my father does not really understand my existence at all. lmao)

Then I was thinking, though, and I remembered reading about sokushinbutsu awhile ago. I wasn't actually thinking about going to see them initially; Dad and I were just driving up the coast and it's a long drive so I was cheerfully rambling. So I was explaining the basic concept to him and I was like "yes, and I heard that one of the temples is so sacred that you have to go barefoot throughout the grounds, even in winter" and I googled where it was, exactly, because I couldn't remember and

YAMAGATA.

I looked at it and I thought about the Dewa Sanzan and I googled how much climbing those mountains actually require and then I was like

hey dad wanna go to some extremely sacred mountains in northern Japan? they let you drive to the shrines.

And he was like "...why those mountains specifically?"

And then I had to tell him about Shugendo, because yessss that's another very important place for it. I'd always sort of associated the idea of sokushinbutsu with Shingon (esoteric) Buddhism and Kukai, the founder of which, because I knew that it was said that he still rests at Koyasan in eternal meditation.

(YEAH, WE'RE GOING TO KOYASAN TOO! *HIGH KICK*)

But! It turns out that it's actually more of a Shugendo tradition, especially in the Yamagata region, though legend does go that Kukai brought the concept to Japan.

So... what is sokushinbutsu?

(CONTENT WARNING uhhh corpses, religious self-harm, starvation, general morbidity, if you google this know that there WILL be pictures.)

Sokushinbutsu are often referred to as living Buddhas or living mummies. The long and short of it is that highly ascetic monks would be mummified, and they would start this process while they were still alive. It's... a pretty difficult process to read about, so I won't go into a ton of detail here, but if you google "sokushinbutsu" you can find way more information.

I will say that it involves slowly reducing food and water intake and increasing the intake of... well, poison, honestly. Both tea made from the Japanese lacquer tree, which has the side effect of sort of lacquering the organs, and local spring water -- which in the case of Yamagata, involves pretty large amounts of arsenic. People all over Japan attempted this process, but by far the highest number of known successful cases are in Yamagata. This is partially because of the popularity of Shugendo there, and partially, people think, because their water had such a high amount of arsenic, which when combined with the loss of adipose tissue and hydration, as well as the lacquer, sort of mummified the organs while the person was still alive.

This process would eventually kill the practitioner, but... I mean, it takes about a decade. This is not something undertaken on a whim. It is an absolutely grueling practice that is considered incredibly sacred. It's a way to ascend past your mortal body and achieve enlightenment, but only for the most devout and devoted practitioners.

(There's a whole lot about ascending past mortal bodies in Buddhism, but I think that and corpse meditation are a different discussion.)

I say that the practitioner "dies", but... I mean, in a scientific sense, yes. These people would die. Shortly before death, they would be placed in a pit underground and essentially buried alive with only a bamboo tube to allow air and sound in and out. They would be given a bell and would periodically ring it to let others know they were still alive. When they stopped ringing the bell, the tube would be removed. They'd come back and check on the body in a few years, and if it had decayed, it was considered a failed attempt and reburied. If it had mummified, it was considered a successful sokushinbutsu and taken out so it could be displayed for veneration.

This is the important part, though. If the process was successful, these are not considered dead bodies. This is a person who achieved Buddhahood while still alive, and they are considered to be in a sort of eternal repose. You go to them to pray and meditate, and often amulets are made from their robes (which are changed every 6-12 years) so people who come to pray can take some of their power home with them.

So... I want to go to learn about Shugendo, but I knew that seeing the sokushinbutsu would be a selling point for Dad... You just have to know how to sell things, I guess.

(You might know from my other posts that I have extremely mixed feelings when it comes to the display of human remains in museums, but I genuinely can't think of a more vociferous consent than the act of sokushinbutsu. Going to see them feels like honoring their wishes, and I do feel that some of them are very beautiful, in a way. So I am looking forward to the experience, though I'll admit to feeling a little trepidation.)

So we will be visiting the Dewa Sanzan, Hagurosan, Gassan, and Yudonosan!

(-san means the same as Mt. in Japanese! so Fujisan is Mt. Fuji. I usually still use -san with mountains out of habit, and Gassan is... incredibly hard to pronounce without doing that, to the point where it is often translated as "Mt. Gassan." lmao. Japanese double consonants are fun.)

The part of this I am most excited about is... Hagurosan has a museum about Shugendo! IN ENGLISH. I cry!!! Apparently one of the yamabushi currently living on Hagurosan is a westerner! Who really wants to teach other westerners about Shugendo! So the Dewa Sanzan website is excellent and I'm so fucking excited to go there and learn.

(They also had yamabushi training programs if you want hands-on knowledge but again. My disabled ass cannot clamber up and down a mountain, unfortunately. ;;)

Yamagata's a large prefecture, though, so the plan is to drive around a bit. We'll be driving between the mountains (but not up Gassan because it'll be too snowy that time of year and I think that one might be hiking-only access...?) and seeing a bunch of shrines and temples. We're also going to spend a night at Hijiori Onsen, a hot spring town in the caldera of an ancient volcano, and a night at *drum roll* a shukubo!

This is Dad indulging me again. Shukubo is a type of shrine or temple lodging. (Usually temple. But this one is a shrine! For reasons I'll get into in a minute!) Essentially, you stay overnight in a religious lodging. You might be invited to attend morning prayers with the monks, specific rituals (Koyasan's are famous for the goma fire rituals), sutra-copying, guided meditation, etc. Traditionally speaking, these were usually stayed at by religious pilgrims, and some were reserved solely for monks, priests, yamabushi, etc. These days anyone can stay at them!

We'll be staying in two during our trip! One at Koyasan, which I hear has tragically become a bit uhhh influencer-y, and this one at Hagurosan.

Now. Why is this a shrine, even though the building was clearly designed to be a temple? Why was Shugendo illegal for a while? Well... I won't get into all the details, but suffice it to say that during different points during Japan's history, either Buddhism or Shinto have been prioritized by the government, and during those periods, the other tended to suffer.

When Buddhism first arrived in Japan in the sixth century CE, it was introduced from China and Korea and had... some settling to do, I guess? Shinto was largely what was accepted in Japan at the time, and people kind of struggled to reconcile the two concepts with each other. Enter the concept of honji suijaku, which is where this baby gets really syncretic.

It's... complicated, like most of this is, but the basic idea is that kami came to be seen as manifestations, or alternate forms, of Buddhist deities. (Buddhas, bodhisattvas, etc.) The Buddhist deity was appearing in the form of kami to better help people in Japan. So the kami and the Buddhist deities were one and the same, just in different guises. These syncretic deities were called "gongen" in Shugendo, which has elements of both religions in it, and were highly venerated.

But... when politics changed and Shinto was again elevated, there was a forcible separation between Buddhist and Shinto spaces. Like... as in an often violent, state-enforced separation. Shugendo, as a syncretic religion of both, was outlawed. At Dewa Sanzan, most Shugendo and/or Buddhist temples converted to Shinto, and they remain that way to this day. (And RIP to many of the Buddhist statues in the area, which have been sadly beheaded.)

So! There are a lot of buildings around there that are clearly Buddhist in origin but have nevertheless become Shinto. The shukubo we're staying at is one of these.

We're gonna see so many temples! So many shrines! We're gonna go to an onsen! We're gonna learn! Some stuff! See! Some things! Some of which are too sacred to even talk about because it's forbidden!

I am excited.

This is only like three days out of a much longer trip but I am like

every time I think about it.

(Okay, I'm actually a little worried about the shrine I'll have to go barefoot for because it's going to be cold as shit and my joints are... bad. But I can manage!)

okay now this is the longest post on earth so I'm gonna stop here, but we're gonna do SO MUCH and we're gonna see SO MUCH and we're gonna learn SO MUCH and my nerdy little heart is on FIRE.

#long post #very very long post #but I put it under a cut because I love you #the travel bug

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funeralprocessor · 4 months

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Morgan Rambles: My pet project

I don't think I've mentioned it before, but I've been working on a tabletop system for like, a while now. Working on is kind of doing a lot of heavy lifting as it's still just kind of a morass of mechanics and ideas, but I've been steadily chipping away at it for a while now. A big part of it has just been figuring out what I want it to be, because I didn't come at it from the outside trying to make a game that does X/Y/Z. It just sort of bubbled up organically from a lineage of horrible cobbled together pseudo-systems that existed only in full in my manic imagination and in like 20 google docs. Basically it's half "system that's geared towards stuff I personally like'' and half "mechanics/ideas orphanage" at this point, but It's slowly coming together into something kind of resembling a presentable thing. Not presentable for like, public use or anything, but like I could show this to potential players and I wouldn't look deranged. That may change and the whole mechanical core may collapse a few more times in the gestation process, but I think what I want it, tentatively called Ars Regia/ArRe, to be about/like/for is pretty well defined. Something I'm prepared to explain now that I've rambled for two paragraphs It's going to fundamentally going to be a game about power and how you use it, which sounds a bit generic I know but one of the core tenants of like the way I play and the way I run things is freedom and the many things that come from it. I like to run sandboxes with no "critical path" or main story, just a bunch of elements you can interact with as you see fit. This is a living world, or as close to one as I can simulate without losing my mind, and having characters interact with it, explore it, utilize it, or fall because they underestimated it is like one of my favorite parts of running a campaign. My job is to play the world, the players job is to decide how they want to live in it.

I also really like the collaborative storytelling and investment you get when players really dig into the world they inhabit and make parts of it theirs. That's why a big part of my design philosophy has been trying to come up with ways to empower the players to actually make big changes, and the "power level" I'm going for has kind of skewed higher as a result. Exalted and Godbound were big big influences on me (and Godbound's author Kevin Crawford/Sine Nomine Games is like one of my tabletop idols along with Jenna Moran and a few OSRsphere bloggers y'all should check out like GoblinPunch (The guy who made the false hydra! That's not a modern D&D thing that's an OSR beastie that escaped containment! All of his shit is good like that!), FalseMachine, Skerples/CoinsandScrolls, ThroneofSalt, and Against the Wicked City. Crawford's stuff is always really polished and even if you have 0 interest in running any of his games his GM tools are fucking immaculate and worth the price of admission on their own (especially since many of them have free versions)), but like mechanically/gamefeel wise aren't what I want. I'm also drawing a good bit from PbtA's enormous lineage, partially some BitD and Spire/Heart, but one of the major ones was Legacy: Life Among the Ruins. In addition to being one of my favorite games I can never convince anyone to play, Legacy does a *lot* different that I love. Your character isn't an individual, but a faction in a post apocalyptic world, with the nature of that world and that apocalypse really really shaped by the very act of character creation. If someone chooses the kaiju hunter faction, it kind of goes without saying that there are kaiju now, something that would not necessarily be the case had no one picked that playbook. That's really fascinating to me. It also has a neat system for kind of pseudo-troupe play. When you need to resolve a specific event in detail and actually RP it out, everyone creates a quick character relevant to the situation or picks one already established, which means you'll quickly get something of a cast of recurring characters for a particular faction, even if that character isn't always played by the same person. Also, because these characters aren't your "main" character it kind of lets you play a lot more fast and loose with them and take more risks. It's almost encouraged to angle for dramatactical deaths, b/c each class has a death move that can be pretty impactful and are all very resonant and fun. I'd been considering some kind of "lower decks" mechanic for ArRe since I imagine PCs will be involved with a lot of big/long term projects and this sort of thing seemed like *exactly* what I was looking for (alongside some domain management stuff). This turned out a lot less coherent than I'd hoped but w/e. Long story short is I'm basically trying to make a TTRPG all about getting players invested in and in control of the world, both by collaborating with them to create it and then giving them the tools and incentives to change it. It is kind of geared towards playing in my like established setting, but that's because I haven't actually had a chance to do any of the collab worldbuilding stuff yet. Amala is also just sort of a powderkeg and fun to throw demigods at so we're all good

#long post #very very long post #funeralposting #amalaposting?#Idk I'm a little high

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doyl1st · 1 month

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A long, rambling post about Ignatius.

Ignatius (Iggy) Duncan is Isaac's younger brother. He's a goofy, kind, and sweet man with an almost childlike innocence to him, despite his bloody backstory and violent tendencies. He'll never hurt an innocent person, but if he feels like you deserve to have your nose broken, he'll break it. The thing is, though, he'll do it with a smile on his face. Not a malicious grin or anything. Just this silly, almost dopey little smile.

Iggy is as much of a manic chaos goblin as Isaac is, if not even more so.

As detailed in my other post, he and Isaac have a great many things in common.

Where they differ is in their interests and specialties. Isaac is a man of science who loves math, engineering, and languages. He's got three PhDs and a doctorate. Art and music are totally lost on him, though. He likes them, but he's no good with them.

Iggy, on the other hand, dropped out of college three months in and started working at a record store. He's still extremely intelligent, definitely a traditional genius in his own right, but his true brilliance resides in music. Iggy's the sort of guy who can compose symphonies in his head and play any music he picks up. He's also the kind of guy who genuinely listens to everything, his favorite genres being energetic rap and the heaviest metal known to man.

He considers himself to be the Facility's failure, and has kinda low self esteem. That's really what's defined him for most of his life, allowing others to worm their way into his head. Isaac was a manipulator, but Iggy was manipulated.

Like I mentioned before, Iggy worked at a record store after dropping out of college. It was a really nice gig, expanding his knowledge and interest in music and teaching him a little bit about how the real world works. It didn't last too long, though. The store went under after only a few years and Iggy was lost again.

He was found after a bar fight that ended with him breaking the jaw of a gangster, some dude working for the local mob. That probably would've been the death of him, if the guy's boss hadn't been impressed by it. He brought Iggy into the fold, feeding him plenty of lies about how they weren't all bad.

Iggy wasn't stupid. He knew the guy was just telling him what he wanted to hear, but that was alright with him at the time. The guy was nice to him, made him feel like he belonged somewhere, and that's something he's craved since childhood.

At first, things weren't too bad. Iggy would run errands and do favors, doing pretty much whatever he was told. Then it graduated to him being something of an enforcer. If his boss told him to hurt someone, he'd do it. Iggy might've been only 5'4", but he had one hell of a right hook. He was fast, too, and not above using dirty tricks or improvised weapons in a fight. When it began, his boss would tell him some kind of lie about how the guy whose leg Iggy was breaking deserved it in some way, but eventually he stopped bothering. He knew Iggy would do what he asked even without an excuse.

Eventually, that progressed into Iggy doing hits for the guy. Same story as the last. He'd tell Iggy the guy deserved it, and Iggy would listen. The first few might not have been lies, if only to acclimate Iggy to it. It was hard for him in the beginning. He threw up after the first one. Cried himself to sleep. But over time, it got easier. Knowing the men he was killing would do the same to him if given the opportunity made it easier, too. Iggy eventually began to rationalize it as if they were playing some kind of game. If they die, he wins. If he dies, they win. If you're in the life, you're fair game. No hard feelings either way.

Iggy wouldn't say he necessarily liked killing, but he did enjoy the thrill of knowing he might die if something goes wrong. He's an adrenaline junky just like Isaac, but the difference is that Isaac likes daring heists and outsmarting his opponents. Iggy likes shoot outs and fist fights.

His life in the mob ended with a raid that landed him in police custody. It was almost immediately obvious that Iggy wasn't just some run of the mill crook, and after some talking, some phone calls, and negotiating, some kind of deal was made.

Iggy is now, effectively, a secret agent. He's on a tight leash, but he's at least free. Isaac's deal actually used Iggy's as a basis, but Isaac doesn't find that out until years later when he and Iggy reconnect because of a shared case.

Like Isaac, Iggy has continued to grow and evolve as a person after being forced into a safe environment. He's learning how to become his own person, how to exist without someone telling him what to do. It's difficult, considering some high ranking official is still doing that, but still. He still has a pretty warped view on life and death, but he's at least not as apt to kill as he used to be. With a good enough reason Iggy can and will chase someone down with a fire axe.

He's still pretty eager to fight, though, and now that he's had some formal training, he's a lot more effective. He'll never hurt an innocent person, though. Never, ever, ever, as he'd say.

Iggy's unofficial theme is Insanely Illegal Cage Fight. Even the title is fitting for him.

#off the record (ooc) ❌#very very long post #absolutely do not feel obligated to read any of these tho #they're mostly just for me to note down my ideas #so I’m not gonna waste tooo much time making them all nicely worded and coherent lmao

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ronance4everbrainrot · 2 years

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Soo @corgiplays themselves requested... Well I asked them because I had no idea which one I should do, but they said the one that I would have liked to do next anyway for the

Murray adopting Robin AU

and well they chose the Thanksgiving with Murray! (I mean finally a story with the main focus being him and Robin again! Also very very long intro until the Thanksgiving with Murray. Also the Halloween part wasn't supposed to be so long 😭)

✨✨✨

[October, 26th Saturday]

Robin wanted to see Murray again, so she asked him to come to Hawkins. Her Mom has been a bit more demanding than usual so she didn't have that much time to talk to him over the phone. This is also the reason why they meet at Steve's house. Steve was out somewhere, he didn't really say where, but he say they could use his place, so she doesn't really care.

"So this is Steve Harrington's infamous house" Murray says and starts looking around. "Um-yeah! I guess it is.." Robin says while looking at him suspiciously 'why do i feel like he knows something I don't?....' she stares at him for a bit but then let's the thought go. She clears her throat "soo...I've been basically living here since summer, so if you need anything, or want to know where stuff is,you can ask this expert here" she says. embarrassed at her last line 'did I really just say that' while also pointing a thumb at herself. Murray stops looking around and turns to Robin with a weird look in his eyes "You and Steve are close"

Robin's confused for a second but then her eyes widden "We-" "Are not dating. I know" Murray cuts her off. She looks surprised "how-" "do I know? Well either that or Steve would be emotionally cheating on you, also you would have told me if there was anyone, because even though we just officially not even 2 months ago, I, for some reason, trust you and I feel like you also trust me, which surprised me since you obviously have trust issues" Robin was shocked. They're just standing in the doorway to the kitchen for a few silent minutes, with Murray gently smiling at her. "How-" "do I know that?" he shrugs "I'm just that good" snickering quietly. "Now" he claps his hands together. "I need something to drink" "But it's like still-" "earily? Well I don't care. There's a happy hour time somewhere" He says while going through a few cabinets.

This was not what Robin thought would happen. But he is right. She does trust him. After just standing there for a few seconds she points at the cabinet Murray was looking for. Murray opens it and is met with disappointment "Oh wow.. You'd think rich people at least have whiskey, but it's only beer...disappointing" Robin laughs at that "Yea well Steve buys the groceries around here so that's probably why" Murray either didn't care or didn't want to talk about this comment so he just said "well at least it's not the cheap one" and takes one, holding one out for Robin "no thanks" she says and they walk over to the living room. "So you mentioned that you got a job, how's that going?" Murray asked while taking a sip from the bottle and sitting down on the couch. Robin's eyes sparkle "It's amazing! I mean the manager is weird and the payment isn't really that good, but I love working with movies! I love when I can talk about movies or when people ask me for suggestions. I'm also basically a movie expert, at least that's what the kids told me." she starts shaking her head "Oh God the kids. Don't get me wrong, I love them, but they can be such a pain in the ass! Like, just two days, I was in the back room and Mike started throwing videotapes at Dustin because he said something about..i don't even know!- And then Dustin starts throwing them at him too and when I came out of the back room, it was chaos. They were all over the floor and genres were mixed together, luckily non of them were damaged, but since Steve couldn't go to work that day, guess who had to clean it up. Yup, me. At least the kids felt guilty enough to help. Yesterday they also came over, and apologized again, well Mike and Dustin. Nancy was there too, she probably made them apologize again, I also think she threatened them to do it..they seemed kinda scared....So well I love my job." She ends her ramble with a smile. "That's good to hear" Murray smiles at her and puts the now empty bottle on the coffee table. 'oh God, did I really ramble that long, why didn't he stop me' Robin blushes in embarrassment "Sor-" "Well besides that it doesn't pay well, but you gotta start somewhere" "Y-yeah" Robin looks down with a smile.

"So you and Nancy must be close for her to threaten her brother to say sorry again" her head snaps up at that "uh-" Murray got this weird look in his eyes again "n-not really, I mean we kinda bonded, and I guess you can say we're friends, but mostly just friends because we're hanging out in the same group..." she looked down again. "that doesn't really fit her character..." he mumbles to himself. He clears his throat "So you and the kids are also close? Let me guess, you're closes to the red haired one" "Max, her name is Max" Robin answered a bit annoyed "but yes, we're even gonna have a matching costume for Halloween!" her tone getting exciting again "we're gonna go as Wendy and Jack from The Shining!" "Well you don't even need a costume to be Jack" "I'm gonna take that as a compliment" "Sure" Murray says snickering. "Anyway..we only spend money one a few things since we already had fitting clothing, the only missing thing is Wendy's overrall dress, you know the brown/orange one and without that the look just isn't complete and we couldn't really find anything similar to it, but well we still have a few days, so maybe we'll find something" Robin's tries to sound hopeful but her eyes show doubt "I mean it's just a costume but we got this far and we even got a fake axe and I just like when costumes have every single detail possible on them" Murray thinks for a bit "You know I can make one for you, well Max. I just need her measurements and the fabric." Robin looks at him in disbelieve "You know it's not weird for a man to know how to se-" Robin attacks him with a hug "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" she's chants. Murray pats her on the back "Yea yea, you're welcome" he chuckles. "You're the best" she pulls away from the hug with a giant happy smile and Murray can't help but smile back "We'll see about that" he pats her back again "Now get off of me" Robin quickly sits back to her spot from before, still happy as ever. "So when-" he get cut off by the house phone "Uh- I'll get it!" Robin stands up and walk over to the phone.

A bit anxious but also not wanting it to be her fault if Steve misses any important calls, she picks up the phone. "H-hello, Harrington's residents" 'stupid stutter', the line is quite for a bit and she gets nervous.."Do you always answer the phone like that when I'm not home?" she here's the voice from Steve says "You literally say the same thing!" she argues back "I-...True.. Anyway, I'm at Nancy's right now and her mom asked me to check up on you for some reason, which I don't get but ok-" Robin ignores that way this sentence hurt. She hasn't been over to the Wheelers for like 2 weeks, so she hasn't seen Karen, which makes it was sweet she asked, maybe Nancy told her about the chaos at Family Video. "So, you good?" "Uh, yeah, I'm good.." "Great, now if you'll excuse me, I have to get back and help Nancy with something, byee" he says, his tone more existing "ok b-" he hangs up before she can bye.

'Um.. Rude..' she puts the phone back and goes back to the Murray who got himself another beer. "Who was that?" "Just Steve" She sit back down on the couch. Murray noticed her mood change and the tone but doesn't comment about it. "So when would be a good time to get the measurements?" he tries to hide his smiles when he sees Robin's eyes light up a bit

[October, 31th Thursday]

"I still can't believe Murray actually made this" Max says for the 11th times this evening, while twirling around with it. She was also very happy that they got the whole custom together. "Can you shut up about it already, we get it, you're surprised, big deal!" An annoyed Mike Wheeler said, throwing his hands in the air for dramatics "Mike, stop being rude" An now also annoyed Nancy Wheeler said, while hitting him on the head with her fake gun.

She is dressed up as Ripley from Alien, it not really a detailed custom, but she got the pants and a similar jacket with difference patches/patterns as the actual jacket, but they are on the same place mostly, not that Robin was looking, nope. Robin definitely didn't almost trip over nothing when she saw Nancy in the Wheelers front lawn while walking over to them. She most definitely did not. She also was very much able to talk back when Nancy says "Who are you supposed to be? I thought you were gonna dress up, but just look like yourself." in a teasing tone. Ye know, Robin didn't almost compost. Luckily Steve interrupted them before Robin could answer.

They were walking in a group together right now. Nancy, Steve, Mike, Dustin, Lucas, Erica, Max and herself. "Mom says you should stop hitting Mike" Oh right and Holly! How could she forget. "Yeah well sometimes your brother is an idiot and needs a proper punishment for being an idiot" Robin says while smiling down at Holly. Holly giggles. She is so adorable! She's dressed up as a beautiful Princess, instead of her dress being the stereotypical pink dress, it's blue, and she basically looks like Cinderella, besides the hair still being in her usual pigtails, she also has a shiny tiara on her head. It's a big contrast to what Nancy is wearing so it's kinda weird when they walk besides each other.

"I'm not an idiot!" he says and tries to hit Robin with his plastic sword, which she blocks with her axe. Mike however is perfectly matching with Holly, since Karen chose his custom for him because he couldn't decide on anything. He's got a pastel yellow dress shirt, with red dress pants, he didn't put much effort into it, but he tried to match the cinderella vibe as prince charming.

"wow, easy there, little Wheeler" Robin chuckles nervously, blocking another hit. Mike stops trying to hit her "I'm not an idiot" he crosses his arms. "You are, tho" Dustin jokes, ironically enough he's dressed up as Robin, no, not her, but as Batman's sidekick. And who could be the perfect Batman for Dustin's Robin other than Steve. Dustin made a lot of jokes about being Robin which Robin actually found funny but acted annoyed. And Steve said he only answers to the name Batman, or well tries to, because he always forgets not to answer when they say Steve. 'dingus' both of them have the full body suit with capes and Steve even has a belt with stuff attached to it.

"Why is everyone bullying me" Mike pouts and crosses his arms even more. "stop being a wuss and don't act like you don't insult people too. Cause that's total bulls-" "Erica!!" Lucas and Robin say and point at Holly, who is completely unaware of what's going on because she's focusing on a person who has butterfly wings. "Oh please, as if hadn't heard that before" Erica rolls her eyes, she's dressed as her own created character from Dnd. Lady Applejack. She had a black bandana with apples on it tied around her neck. And she looks like a mix from a cowboy and and a pirate [idk]. Her color pattern is mostly dark colors, she has some red and orange touches, also dark, but most is a dark green [idk]. She also has pointy ears.

"Well maybe she hasn't" Lucas shrugged. He is dressed up as a pirate. He's got red and black striped loose pants and a white shirt and a light brown sleeveless jacket. He also got a bandana tied around his had and also an eye patch on his left eye. [Idk] He also got his sling shot with him, because he can.

"Ok, can everybody just stop bullying everybody, so we can finally get some more candy." Max said, very annoyed. She has her Wendy custome on. The overall dress Murray made fits perfect and looks amazing. She also has an actual bat with her. Out of wood...Well anyway. "Ye, she's right, we'll never get more candy if we keep arguing" Dustin says. Steve agrees. They continue walking and chatting, with Robin, Max Lucas and Erica in the front and Steve, dustin Nancy, Holly and Mike in the back, who go slower and slower because Steve somehow makes them go slower, which is how they lose the others. The other don't notice at first, too caught up into their conversation, until they turn around to see that the others are gone. At first they kinda panicked (well Lucas and Robin) Erica and Max suggested to just continue. So they went from house to house alone without the others.

When the others noticed (well it was Steve's plan anyway) that the others are way ahead and gone, Steve says that it's ok and they have Robin. "Are we talking about the same Robin?" Nancy asks, a bit concerned. "Um yeah? Don't worry about her, she can handle herself and others." "I'm sure you should know best about this" Nancy says with a bit of jealousy and teasing voice. "Stop flirting and let's get some candy" Dustin says. Steve flushes red "We are not flirting!!" 'Wow he's so mad he turned red. Dustin probably doesn't know Steve is already dating someone, which is weird since he's the closes to Steve' "-you think Nance?" she shakes her head "What?" Nancy asked. "I asked what you think about it?" 'shit, what did he ask!?' Nancy looks at Dustin who, bless him, most have noticed that she didn't listen and pointed at his custome. "Oh, it's cool! Batman, nice choice.." she politely smiled at him. "yea, thanks, I came up with it since Robin's name is Robin and then I thought Batman and Robin would fit together. Sadly Robin already had a matching custom with Max, so I asked Dustin." he explained "What do you mean, 'sadly'? Did you not want to match with me!?" Dustin asked and stomps forward. Steve follows him "No-no, not that! I just meant that-" she tunes their conversation out and thinks about Robin for a second.

Robin is dressed as Jack from the shining. She is basically wearing her normal clothes, but a bit more manly or smth. She can't explain. But her custome was something else. She's probably just jealous that it's still detailed and looks so good. [sure, Jan]

(Time skip)

They met at the Wheelers house again at 9 p.m. Holly is very tired, so Nancy was carrying her inside. They all got a good amount of candy and also had fun just talking to each other. But there was one moment that is both just annoying but also funny.

A few minutes after being split up, some stupid boys thought they could 'prank' them, oh well, they threw an egg at them. Which only hit Robin. You'd think Robin should be the mad one, well she was just annoyed that she has to clean that later. Max however was furious 'How dare you throw an egg at Robin' she started threatening them and saying she will break their shins. Robin being worried that she's going to kill them, tries to stop her but accidentally gets hit by the bat on her head, because Max was pulling back to swing at the boys. Max turns around to apologize and the boys laughed at that but Max takes one threatening step forward and they run off like the cowards they are "Shit, I'm so sorry Robin. I didn't mean too! I just-" Robin rubs her head where she was hit "it's ok, it's my fault, I shouldn't have tried to stop." she chuckles a bit. "Yeah, you should have let Max beat those bastards up" Erica speaks up. "For once, I actually agree with my sister" "I have a name, you know, and you should be the one being called Erica's brother instead" Erica argues and they continue walking. "Hey! I've been in this party longer than you! If one of us-" they keep arguing. "I'm sorry again.." Max says and Robin just smiles and ruffles Max's hair "It's totally fine kiddo, I'm very tough" she proudly says while making a weird 'tough' pose. "Yeah right" Max laughs. They start walking so they don't lose the still arguing siblings. Robin shoves her "Rude, anyway, give me the bat, we don't want you to get arrested" "What?! But they-" "I know they deserved it, but you don't deserve to go to jail for that, they are not worth it." Max looks at the bat for a second and then hands it to Robin while mumbling about it being unfair. "I know it may seem unfair, but they literally just had eggs and you had a bat, also you honestly could have taken them without the bat" she says, struggling a bit to carry the axe, bat and Erica's candy bag. "Can you guys stop talking and start walking some more, I don't want to be stuck with My brother any longer" "We went over this!-" "Shut up, brother" Robin and Max laugh at that "Well at least you acknowledge that you are siblings, so it's sweet" Robin says. She looks at Max after realizing what she said, she doesn't seem to be bother by that sentence. Lucas and Erica start arguing again that it's not sweet or smth, but Robin didn't really listen.

Her head still kinda hurts from that hit, but you can't really see that anything happend so she doesn't say anything. Max also has her bat back since Robin was too lazy to carry it after a while.

As Nancy was putting Holly down on the couch, Steve, Dustin, Mike and Lucas were already going down to the basement. They were gonna watch 'The Shining', which obviously was Robin's idea. "Wow, the boys really have no manners, just walking by without even a hello" Karen says as she stands up to greet the girls with hugs. "at least I got my fellow ladies here" she jokes. Murray speaks up firm his spot on the couch "Glad to know that I'm a part of the fellow ladies, now" "Of course you are" Karen turns to him with a smile as she was done with the hugs. "I wouldn't talk about my family recipes if you weren't such a housewife" she jokes again.

This gets a laugh out of Erica "Him? A housewife? I'd love to see that" "Ignoring that comment, how was it? Hit any jackpots?" Karen says picking up a sleeping Holly "Mom, stop trying to sound cool! It's embarrassing" Nancy complains putting her hands over her face. "Oh shush you, I'm positive you are the only one thinking that and I thought you grew out of the 'embarrassed by your parents' phase" "Well I for one, don't think it's embarrassing, Mrs Wheeler" Robin's says, grinning like an idiot. "See, Robin doesn't think so, and for the 100th time, call me Karen" Karen says while patting her cheek with her free hand "R-right, sorry, also to answer your questions, yes, we did hit the jackpot, we got to a house right when they were restocking the bowl, so we got lots of candy" Robin says grinning like a child who's showing their parent a picture they drew. "That's awesome!-" "moOoOm!" "-Now let me put Holly to bed and you-" she says looking at Nancy "-stop being so embarrassing" she walks off leaving a speechless Nancy behind with her jaw on the floor. Max stops snickering for the first time since this conversation started. "Yea well, she has a point, it's more embarrassing that you call her out and complain about it, then her saying it" Erica nods in agreement. "I-..traitors" Nancy says as she leaves with crossed arms, going to the basement. After a bit of quiet laughter, Karen came back "Oh you're still here? I thought you were going to watch the movie soon?" "Oh right, almost forgot" Robin looks at Max "You know the plan?" "Yep" Max nods "So Karen...I have a question." Robin starts

(Tiny time skip)

They were almost at the end of the movie and Robin was surprised that Nancy is still holding her hand, she has been since the first time she got scared. And Robin definitely doesn't want to let go but she sadly has to. She looks eyes with Max and then stands up, which makes her let got of Nancy's hand and she swears Nancy said something but she can't tell what it was "gotta go pee" she quietly says so Nancy can hear her. She wanted to leave with no one noticing but Nancy has been holding her hand, which she is not complaining about tho.

Robin went upstairs and actually did ho to the bathroom to try and make her look more creepy (she has no idea what she is doing). Then she went back down to the basement door and waited for Max. The door opens and max comes out, Robin nods at her and walks to the basement door outside she waits for Max's scream and then their plan goes in action.

(pov change?)

Nancy missed Robin, but only because she was great comfort, not because of anything else. She was probably the only one who saw max leave since she wasn't that focused on the movie. Now however there was this very intense scene 'she's not gonna fit threw the window...' Nancy thinks, while staring at the screen, completely focused and curious/scared about the out come, she hasn't seen it before so that's why she didn't know who Max and Robin were dressed up as. Speaking of Max, she just slammed the door shut, screaming as if she's just seen a demogorgen. Everyone screamed back at her. "MAX! WHAT THE HELL!" Mike yells after calming down "Not cool, dude!" Dustin says as he stops hiding behind Steve. "N-No- G-guys! I-I saw-" then the someone starts banging against the door from outside and Max rounds down screaming, to join the others 'oh God-oh God! SHIT SHIT' Everyone starts thinking the worst. Is it a demogorgen? the Russians? Something new?! "WHAT IS THAT?! WHAT DID YOU SEE?!" Steve asked very panicked. Max just starts crying and the doors starts breaking. Everyone huddled over to the corner looking around for weapons but they couldn't find anything "What do we do!?" Steve asks while Lucas is trying to calm down Max. "Let's just go upstairs!" Dustin yells "NO! D-Don't! T-THEY AR-" she gets cut off by the axe breaking through the door and screams.

No one noticed, besides Erica, that the scene in the screen and the axe that now broke through the door were perfectly in sync 'Wow, ok that's impressive' Erica thinks, she knew about the plan but she didn't know it was gonna be this intense, if she didn't know any better, she'd be terrified like the others. But she does know better and is trying not to laugh.

Everyone screamed again when they saw the axe. Max is screaming everytime the axe hits through the door. Mike, who thought this was still some kind of prank, is now terrified aswell. 'oh shit, this cannot be a prank'. Mike looks at Max who is shaking so bad she's be one yell of an actress if this is fake [like damn give her an Emmy for that performance] (but well she is acting, also she hides her tiny laughters as sobs)

Nancy was just frozen, she didn't have her guns, she didn't have any weapons, she couldn't do anything. Nancy looks at Max and then hears a scream, but it's Max screaming. She looks around the room and her eyes land on the TV. She stares for a minute and then blinks 'You've got the be kidding me...she wouldn't-' A hand reaches in to opens the door (that Max locked after she came in screaming) and everyones huddling even closer, which honestly is stupid.

The door opens and they hear "Here's Johnny" from the TV a second before "Here's Robin!" Everyone screamed at first but Max started laughing and Erica also started laughing and Nancy just thinks '..she would'. Everyone else starts glaring at Robin. "Uh-...Hi?.." They all went after her, yelling at her and throwing stuff at her, while Nancy still sits there, just shocked. "What. The. Fuck" she says and glares at Max. Max's laughter died down "Uh-..IT WAS ROBIN'S IDEA!" she panics. "I'm surprised she was serious breaking the door, also I'm more surprised your mom let her do it" Erica says. "What-"

(Time skip to the next morning after everyone calmed down and they forgave Robin and Max)

"Ok, I mean I hate you for it, but the commitment, holy crap" Dustin says while munching down on pancakes. "and max! Wow!" Lucas says "You were AMAZING!" "How the hell did you get my mom to agree with breaking the door?!" Mike asks "I can't even convince her to buy the cereal I want! Teach me your ways, please!!" "I'm pretty sure if you don't want to do it her ways, if-" Robin cuts him off by hitting him with the plastic axe, knowing exactly what he would say, blushing furiously. "Ow-hey!-" she gives him a look and he realizes "Oh shit-..Sorry.." [I don't know what I'm doing help].

The others unaware of this interaction still talking about the prank. "I always had to laugh when Lucas screamed like a girl" Max laughs "luckily I covered them up with sobs, but it wa so hard not to laugh" Mike rolls his eyes "Yeah, well I knew it was a prank" "You were literally hiding behind Steve and screaming the loudest" Erica argues "Well, I-I-, ok I didn't know, but! I did think so at first! Only after the door started to break did I think it was real!" Mike explains "Ok, but seriously, how did you get my mom to agree to this?" he looks at Robin, who was just enjoying her own pancakes in peace "Well-" Murray cuts her off "I helped, well I had to share one of my secret recipes with Karen, so she has a new dish to show at Thanksgiving to your relatives. She told me about the stories of her sister always mak-" "Ok, that's enough Murray. I told you that in confidence!" Karen blushes in embarrassment. "Wait! Where going to our relatives? When were you gonna tell us?" "Yeah well last Thanksgiving we weren't there and we also haven't visited them in a long time, so that's why we're going. End of discussion." "But Mooom-" Mike follows Karen as she leaves to the living room. "Oh that reminds me! My mom invited you over to Thanksgiving Steve!" Dustin says. "Oh really? Thanks bud! I'll gladly come over! My parents are probably not gonna be here eitherway." "At least your parents have an excuse to not celebrate Thanksgiving, my mom is too much of a workaholic to any time off" Robin jokes. It's only quiet for 2 seconds but she feels like she said something wrong. But then Murray speaks up. "Well how about you come over to mine and we celebrate?"

[November, 28th Thursday]

[I actually googled when Thanksgiving was in 1985 lol]

Robin stayed over at Murray's the day before, because Murray wanted to teach her how to cook. I mean she can cook the standard stuff like pasta, eggs and pancakes...even tho she sometimes gets distracted and one side gets burned...eitherway she never really tried to make anything else, like lasagne or all stuff baking related. So now that it's Thanksgiving morning, Murray marches into the room she was staying in and wakes her in the most pleasant (read: worst) way ever.

"Wakey Wakey eggs and bakey!" he yells while slamming two pots together. Robin jumps up and falls onto the floor. "woAH-" She groans and rubs her head. (her poor genius head, always gets hurt) "did you seriously just say that..." she hisses out. "Also what the fuck was that?" she yawns and stands up, stretching a bit. "Well it's how I used to wake up my roommate in college at Thanksgiving, he always hated it" he sighs blissfully "Good old days, anyway, get yourself cleaned, we'll have to start cooking soon it we want to eat at noon." he laughs "Ha! That rhymed, how funny!" he says while leaving the room.

'what the hell was that...' Robin stares at the door that Murray just left through. 'Anyway... I already showered yesterday so Imma just change clothes and brush my theet and wash my hands and ' Robin looks at the mirror while entering the bathroom 'yikes..my hair..i should also brush my hair..' while making herself ready she thinks about the past days.

She got closer to the Sinclairs, both kids and the parents 'guess it's just my parent who doesn't like me' she jokes to herself with a sad chuckle. Erica confessed some stuff and they had some sleepovers, since Lucas also lives there he joined them, while staying over she got closer to their parents, Sue and Charles. She thinks they have are the best parents anyone could have. No offence to Joyce and Karen, but their children don't really parental love from both parents.

They also invited her to Thanksgiving but she declined since she wanted to spend Thanksgiving at Murray's, who, to be honest, is what she is most thankful for. Steve is great and all, but he has also been acting kinda weird lately, one time when Nancy was over at Family Video he completely ditched her and acted like she didn't exist and when she was gone he acted completely normal. He also kinda flirting with her but she doesn't want to think about that.

Being done with brushing her theet she, quickly washes her hands and then brushes her hair a bit. Checking the mirror one last time, seeing everything looks ok, she leaves the bathroom and changes her clothes, after getting dressed she walks into the small kitchen. "Last night I didn't seem this small" she says while walking over to Murray, who is wearing an apron. She stops her steps "Omg" she bursts out laughing. "Are you wearing an apron!?" still laughing. Murray hits her with the spatula. "Ow-" "Don't make fun of the apron, it's a great invention to not get your clothes dirty while cooking or baking" his apron is very old and worn, which you can see from the tears and the lots of stains. "Ok-jeez-..sorry.." Robin apologized while rubbing her arm where he hit her. 'now that I think about it, it is actually smart, even when I'm just making eggs i still make a lot of mess and get stains on my clothes...' She looks around and find a smaller apron hanging on the wall "is that one for me or...?" "No, it's for the other person coming over and you'll get no apron so you'll have to get your clothes dirty......Of course it's for you, Birdbrain!" Robin hates when he calls her that.

Murray is already cutting a few things for the stuffing. "soo, what should I do?.." "take the vegetable and cut them into small pieces like this" he shows it with a carrot "okie dokie, I'll try" 'Did I just say okie dokie?' She ignores it and starts cutting the vegetables, which she is struggling a lot with since she never really cut anything when she was cooking stuff. When she was done with the carrot she looks at Murray "Like this?" she asked nervously, hoping she didn't mess it up. He looks up from the gravy he's making rn and look over to Robin's work "Yeah, well done, now cut the other vegetables like that" he finishing up the gravy. Robin smiles at his approval. 'I did well'. Happily cutting the vegetables with that thought, time goes by faster than she expected and all the vegetables are cut. "great work, now we just need the mashed potatoes and we can stuff the turkey" Murray announced.

While waiting for the potatoes Murray gives her a few tips on how you can peel the potatoes while still hot, he says you need to be fast or it'll be harder to mash the potatoes. So when the potatoes are done they got a bowl off cold water and dipped both their hands and the potato in. "Oh God, I thought my hand was going to catch fire" Robin says as the cools off the her hands along side the potato. "Where did you learn that from? And how do you know so much about cooking? Where you some kind of chef?" "No, not really, I just taught myself how to cook and eventually was good at it, and I came up with it myself, I mean we always put cold water on our hands when we accidentally burn ourselves, so I just thought it should work, which it it" He answers, his tone hiding something but Robin doesn't speak about it. "You're right, we do do that" After being finished with the peeling Murray shows Robin how to easily mash the potatoes and then let's her do it while he gets the turkey.

After having stuffed the turkey, which Robin honestly found disgusting so she covered her ears and looked away. After they put the turkey in the oven they set a timer for 2 hours and 45 minutes [I have no idea what I'm doing, I just googled stuff]. Robin sways around a bit, awkwardly waiting for the next step "Soooo, what now?" Murray dusts his hand off and tells Robin about his plan.

After waiting almost 2 hours, where they were talking about some more conspiracy theories, from UFOs to big foot and everything they can think of and also Murray teaching Robin a bit more Russian, they get back to work and Murray trust her with making the Pumpkin pie, while he is making a chicken casserole (which he only made because Robin never head a casserole). He only makes a small one since they'll still make one more thing after that.

Robin was really struggling, she was thankful for the apron Murray gave her, she still had one more set off clothes because she was staying over after tonight aswell, but then she wouldn't have any for tomorrow. Anyway, she luckily didn't make too much off a mess and Murray also gave her tips on how to mix the stuff better. After dropping an egg to the ground and accidentally knocking the salt over, she managed to make the filling for the pie.

Murray done with his part, looked at the timer "Ok 1 hour for the Turkey to be done" Murray explains the situation and they come up with a plan on when to put the pie and when to put the casserole with the 10 min difference. Robin suggested they just put it in when the timer hits 50 min for the pie and 40 min for the casserole.

20 minutes pass, both dishes are in the oven and they are preparing Murray's risotto. She feels honored for knowing his secret recipe for his risotto and they also talk about Italy since the dish is from there. While cooking the risotto over the stove, Robin tries to teach Murray Italian "really? You just want to know curse words? Very mature of you, Murray." "You literally asked me the same thing when learning Russian" "yeah-well! At least, I actually want to learn the language fluently. And how come you only know Russian? Why didn't you learn and other languages?" "I never said I didn't learn any other languages" Murray smirks. Robin dramatically gasped "HOW DARE YOU HIDE THIS FROM ME" she starts getting him with an oven mitt. Murray just quietly stands there, still smirking.

Robin got tired of hitting him after a minute and just frowns at his sitll smirking face "what other language did you learn!" she asked, or more like demanded. Murray just quietly snickers and doesn't say anything. "Ugh, you're the worst" "Oh ouch. Ok fine, I'll tell you" "finally!" "it's...drumroooolll....German!" "...why am I not surprised" "Well-"

The timer goes off, scaring both of them. "We'll talk later about this" They take the food out of the oven, after checking if the lie was ready, and take the risotto off the stove. They also put a tin foil over the casserole and risotto so they don't cool off too much. "Wow, that smells really good" Robin says any her stomach growls "Looks like someone hungry" "well duh, I haven't eaten anything yet"

(Time skip after they were done eating)

"Oh God, I'm so full!" Robin mumbles into the table, while patting her stomach, "also, you're risotto is amazing! I think it's my new favorite food." she says as she picks her head up from the table. Murray chuckled "Thanks, the pie that you made wasn't actually bad, by the way" Robin scoffs "Why, thank you, I only really mixed the ingredients together that you prepared for me" "Yeah I know, but I thought you'd somehow fail it" Robin sits up straight and gasped, putting a hang over her heart "The audacity you have to just doubt me like that. I am truly hurt" Murray shakes his head at her antics "You know I was just joking" "of course I knew, because how could I ever fail at something" Murray chuckles at that "Yeah yeah, anyway, I almost forgot about the traditional 'what I'm thankful for' thing so let me do it know" he says and stands up as if he is gonna give a toast. He clears his throat "I am thankful for my friends, Joyce, Hopper 'may he rest in peace' and now Karen, for well, being my friends-" "Oh wow" "-I'm also thankful for my new found family" he says while tilting his glass at her "for being able to about conspiracy theories with me, for wanting to learn Russian, and for honoring me with their company at Thanksgiving" he says, gently smiling at her, and sits back down.

Robin didn't think this was gonna be anything serious, but she almost starts crying when he continued his speech. "phew- I recommend not standing up, it's not a good idea when you are full" she chuckles at that comment and wipes her tears away. She also clears her throat and stands up, since Murray did it "Oh-nevermind-I'll sit down-" she said right after standing up. Murray chuckles "I warned you" Robin rolls her eyes with a smile and clears her throat again "I am thankful for my job at Scoops Ahoy, which brought me into this crazy mess but gave me friends. I'm thankful for Steve, for..being the dingus that he is" she almost slipped up, but she also thinks this has been a long time coming "I'm thankful for the kids, that even tho they are a pain in the ass, they are also caring and sweet and just loving, having me included into their party" Robin starts tearing up again "for including me into their family" she clears her throat again "I'm also thankful for you" she look Murray in the eyes, but she looks away again. "for also being able to talk about my crazy conspiracy theories, for teaching me Russian, f-for giving me the honors to spend Thanksgiving with you!" she jokes back, a tear rolling from her eyes with a sniff "s-sorry, I just never really had anything to be thankful for.." 'well besides...not now...' Murray looks at her with a sad smile, but also really happy "I know what you mean....also, you just copied my speech." Robin wipes her tear away "I did not!" "yes you did!" "well just the last part" "So you admit!" "Just shut up and be glad that you were even in the speech" "Oh wow! I invite you over and you act like that!" Robin couldn't hold it anymore and bursts out laughing. "and now you are laughing at me again!" Murray shakes his head in disappointments, but then joins the laughter.

After they laughter died down, Murray looked the the clock and saw that a football game was on. "So, you probably know nothing about football but it's kinda a tradition to watch it and there is a game on right now, so, want to go watch it?" Robin thought for a moment 'I don't think there is a good moment while watching football..'"Um..actually... I need to tell you something..." all the happy vibes Robin had now turning tense and cautious. Murray sensing the mood change, nods his head "Sure? What is it?" Robin struggles to get words out and just sits there looking like a fish with the mouth opening and closing. "i-.." she finds Murray's eyes and sees the gentleness in them, sees the understanding in them and especially the tiny hint of pride and excitement he has, which is the boost she needed "I'm a lesbian" she says after looking anywhere but him. She hears his chair getting pushed back and footsteps coming closer, then she feels a gentle hand on her shoulder.

She slowly looks up at Murray, his presences welcoming, and he doesn't look disgusted by her "I'm so proud of you, this was a brave thing to do" he starts and she tears up "and even if the world tells you it's wrong, you know it's not wrong and I hope that one day the world will also see that" she just stares at him in awe. He squeezes her shoulder in support. A comfortable few seconds passes and then Murray speaks up again "Now that we're done with that, let's go sit on the couch, I can't stand any longer" Robin gives a teary laugh and stands up to follow Murray. Robin pauses for a second. Murray at the same time also pauses. "We should clean up first". Robin just nods.

While cleaning Murray explains a few things about football and Robin just silently listens giving a few nods. After putting the left overs in the fridge and stacking the plates to the side to clean later. They are sitting on the couch. A few minutes into the game Robin speaks up for the first time after she came out "I guess now I have another thing I can add to the 'I'm thankful for' speech..." Murray chuckles at that "I guess so" then he gives a sigh "it's honestly sad that you have to be thankful for something like that..." Robin nods in agreement "Yeah...". The mood changed to something bittersweet, but they still enjoyed the game.

While watching, Robin got confused by the point system. "Ok wait- how do they still get points when they didn't even get a touch down?" "How many times do I have to tell you this. The touch down is not the only way to get points!" then suddenly, there is rapid knocking on the door. "I-I thought no one else was coming" "I thought so too" Murray says as he swiftly goes over to the TV with the camera footage from the front door. He squints for a minute and in a confused voice asked "What is your redhead friend doing here?.. And how does she even know where I live?!" He hears something falling on the ground and turns around to see Robin picking herself up from the ground to get to the door. "Hey!-"

Robin opens the door and is very shocked to see Max standing in front of her. "Max? What are you doing here? Did something-" Max looks up at her and she finally sees her puffy red eyes. Max crashes into her and burries her head into Robin's shoulder. Robin wraps her arms around her and leads her inside. "Want to tell me what happened?" she quietly asked. Max's shakes her head. "Ok ok, that's totally fine, want to sit down on the couch-" she looks at Murray for a second and hears the cheering from the TV "-or we can go to my room? Well it's a guestroom, but I'm the only guest Murray really has" she tries to joke. It's doesn't really get a reaction out of Max and she doesn't do anything for a moment, then Max's mumbles into her shoulder "..your room.."

Murray just stands there confused on what's going on but also sensing the not so good mood. '....should I leave..?'. "Hey Murray, we're going to the my room, so you can still watch the game" Robin says while walking passed him. He just nods as to not disturb Max or anything.

They enter the room and Robin is a bit embarrassed at the mess she left behind. Luckily Max's head is still burried in her shoulder. "do you want to talk about it now or just cuddle?" she asked as she struggles to find a way for both of them to lay on the bed while Max is still clinging to her. "..cuddle.." "Ok well you gotta let go for a second so I can properly lay down" Max refuses. "...alright then.."

After a minute of struggling and almost somehow knocking over the lamp on the bedside table, Robin managed to lay down while Max is laying ontop of her. 'Huh, it's like a weighted blanket' she thinks for a moment. They lay in silence for a few minutes, Robin running her hands through Max's hair. "....can you just talk about something..." Max's mumbles "Uh- yeah, sure..uuhh.." 'What should I talk about? What if I mention something wrong?'. She starts talking about the sleepovers she had with Erica and Lucas "-Lucas just came back from the bathroom and when he was about to open the door, I opened it from the other side and slammed the door in his face! I'm mean totally on accident and I apologize imidiatly after realizing, but Erica was laughing her ass off and then I just had to join" she start laughing a bit at the recent memories. She also managed to get a laugh out of Max "he's such an idiot" "Well he didn't walk into the door, it was my fault really, since I perfectly opened it to slam into his face, but it wasn't planned, I swear!" "Ok well, then you both are idiots" Max proclaims. "Hey! I'm no idiot." Robin's scoffs and shoves Max's off "Hey!" "You insulted me, so no cuddles." Robin crosses her arms. Max glares at her and then rolls her eyes "Ok, you're not an idiot" Robin smiles in satisfaction "Thank yo-" Robin gets hit by a pillow and Max is laughing "Oh, its on"

After a chaotic pillow fight, with Murray shouting at them to not break anything (they almost knocked the lamp of again), they both fall head first onto the bed in exhaustion. After catching her breath, Robin turns around so she lays on her back and looks at Max "If we ever have a sleepover with the others, I would hate to not be on your team in pillow fights." Max lifts her head up "Yeah same, even tho your very uncoordinated you actually have good aim" Robin thanks her and they just chill a bit in silence. Max also laying on her back now.

After a whole, Max's says something that Robin would never forgot. Max was looking up at the ceiling when she said "You're a better sibling than Billy could ever be..." It was so quiet that you almost couldn't hear it, but Robin did hear it. Robin feels guilty for some reason also still staring up at the ceiling, not saying anything. Max her head to the side to look at Robin and decided that it's too quiet for too long "Sorry, I-I shouldn't have said th-" Max started apologizing but Robin sits up and reassures her, waving her hands around for more emphasize "No!..no, it's fine! I'm h-honored that you see as a sibling and I also see you as a little sister to me...." Max smiles at that, she thinks back a few hours when she came out to Murray "t-there is just something..there is just something I want you to know about, which may change the way you see me..." Max's eyebrows furrow a bit and she look at Robin with concern, but doesn't say anything. Robin looks at her for a moment and then looks away.. 'Twice in one day...huh..and I thought I'd never even come out once...' "I'm..I'm-" Max also sits up and takes Robin's hand, which Robin didn't notices was clenched into a fist, and gives her a little squeeze, just like Murray had. Robin takes a deep breath and squeezes Max's hand back. "I'm a lesbian.." she finally says while looking at their combined hands, thinking Max will pull away when she finally process it. But to her shock, Max hugs her "Wha-" "I don't give a damn about who you like, I'll still see you as my sister.." Max is again burried in her shoulder, and even tho it's muffled, Robin hears it clear as day. Robin was about to hug her back when Max shoves her "but don't scare me like that again! I thought you were gonna say you're a spy or some shit" Robin doesn't even know what is happening anymore, so she just bursts out laughing, happy tears rolling down her eyes. Max joins her laughter. Murray shouts at them to be quiet which just makes them laugh more.

"A spy? Really? For who?" "I don't know! I just thought you were gonna say something bad!" Robin smiles at the fact that Max doesn't see her being a lesbian as bad. "Honestly, you being gay make so much sense know that I think about it" Robin throws a pillow at her "Hey! I was just saying, you not wanting to date Steve and always blushing when a girl talks to in Family Video....Wait omg... Do you have a crush on Mrs. Wheeler!!?" Max stares at with wide eyes "What-NO!" "That's why you always compliment her!" "I-" "You totally think she's hot!" Robin regrets telling her.

✨✨✨

I regret everything and nothing.

Also this was not planned to be so long.

Also I have no idea what I did at the end. I was just bored.

Also ignore all the mistakes.

And uh..... I hope you enjoyed...

Also sometimes I write a little detail but then forget about it so if something didn't make sense just ignore it...ye..

#very very long post #like super long #Murray adopting Robin #ronance #robin buckley #murray bauman #nancy wheeler #max mayfield #stranger things #idk what else to tag #steve harrington

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ars3n1cc · 1 year

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★ carrd [link] (out of date) ★ hoard [link] ★ pronouns.page [link] ★

(kinda working on a rewrite for this, stand by!)

my current theme is my oc/fursona roadkill

HEY THERE!!

i'm fenyx, the host of the arsenic system / the corvid cacophony! we collectively go by arsenic, but i'll be in front most often. we have p-did, multiple pds, autism, and more. when talking to us, please use tone indicators as we may misunderstand things (probably a lot pff).

i'm a white, multiply disabled, transmasculine anonbinary xenogender hoarder who uses 400+ sets of pronouns and 100+ names. i am ace, aro, and afam spec, ambiamorous, and an omni gay (primarily). i am also intersex. i am otherkin (poly therian + cryptidkin) (kin blog below!!) im also a minor, so dont be weird.

i have a special interest in homestuck, myself (this is mainly my identity but just...me. i blame this on my npd), and (online) queer history.

feel free to send me requests for coining, stimboards, or anything else really pff. im something of a jack of all trades. also feel free to send asks or dms, im always open to talk but usually to scared to say hi first. im also prone to accidental(?) ghosting sooo. this is your warning.

this blog will be used for general fandom things, mogai coining, art, and other general stuff. speaking of, take a look at my....↓ [under the cut]

OTHER BLOGS!!

@cryptidog - otherkin blog

@domestic--lab - homestuck blog

@bl00died-inkdr0p - writing + poetry blog

@arsynical - vent blog (probably wont use)

@puppy-pawprince - our littles blog [wip]

@ars3n1cc-moved - archive/old blog (inactive)

@autiphilia - para blog

(i use like none of these ever)

STANCES!!

pro-mspec lesbians + gays

anti-endo/demo/tulpa/general nontraumagenic

anti-contact para critical

psych critical

anti-radqueer, transx, and whatever else fits into that shit

anti-ship

TAGGING SYSTEM!!

#arsenic reblogs - reblogs

#arsenic speaks into the void - text posts

#arsenic answers - answering asks

#arsenic coins - coining posts

#arsenic hoards - labels to be added to my hoard

#arsenic arts - my art B3

#arsenic hyperfixates - posts about my hyperfixation

#arsenic fandoms - fandom posts

#arsenic stims - either stimboards/gifs ive made myself or ones ive reblogged

#arsenic shitposts - shitposts :3

#arsenic is eternally fucking around - random shit i get up to

#homo posting on main - talking about/to my boyfriend<33

#discourse - discourse + political things

SYSTEM TAGGING SYSTEM

#blurry.txt - when were blurry/dont know who we are [may not actually use]

#empty.txt - no one

#[alters name].txt

[NOTE: there will be no use of a #fenyx.txt cause im the host and will almost always be in front. also fenyx.txt looks fucking horrible on my eyes /silly but true]

image ID in alt text

image ID in alt text || about my bf @polyfragmentedchaos<33

image IDs in alt text

#arsenic speaks into the void #pinned #pinned post #coining blog #dni #long post #very very long post #important

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realsorcerershit · 9 months

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Anyways why don't you tell the class about Lumen. Educate your audience on my son

God okay I said I was going to so I will - but first thing's first

HE'S MY SON, YOU CANNOT HAVE HIM BUT YOU CAN LOOK AT HIM AND ADMIRE HIM

Okay that said I'm gonna do a read more because this will be a very very long rambly post otherwise

So! This: Is Lumen. Let me give ya'll some art of him.

(Art credit to coffeerelated on twitter!)

He is, at the time of writing this, an 11th level Wild Magic Sorcerer in the campaign I play in, which we call VTDM, short for "Ven's the DM." He hails from a small little town in our homebrew world of Annwn, and the town is named Dushill. A small town nobody with a big heart, care for the people he's around, and, as it stands now, very accidental hero.

I say accidental hero, because he ultimately was just. Nobody, before this. Before ending up in this campaign to fight against a Cult of Orcus. He was just a small town nobody, coming from being relatively poor, who still did his absolute best to help everyone. He set out on an adventure one day, with his one best friend, to try and make some extra money to help make ends meet. Needless to say, that went just about terribly, and he ended up being the only one to survive.

So where does that leave him now? Traumatized, for sure. Being a lone survivor sucks. But underneath that? He's got purpose. A cause, in fighting against the Cult that took everything from him. He's got a boyfriend in the campaign, too, Sigurd - an ex-cultist who he chose to place his full trust and support in. A lot happened since then, and that is a whole nother post aside from this one. This campaign has a lot of context and that's what happens when you're over 100 sessions deep. And like 3 years.

He also has friends and confidants - people he'd die for if he had to. He's loyal, he is devoted, and he cares. He fights by stunning anyone who gets too close to those he loves and cares about, and he does so ruthlessly, even using his powers of Wild Magic to twist fate. The power still scares him, but he's grown confident enough to wield it freely.

There's a lot more I could say but - I'll leave it to asks and whatnot if anyone's interested because oh my god there's a lot to his story and I cannot cover it all in one post (I wanna go back to playing BG3) so here ya go

#sorcerer rambles #very very long post #Lumen #oc things

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act11as · 2 years

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screenshots I found from the longest-running dst server @ghost-time-bois and @tinkerscrickets (and other frineds who do not have tumblr accounts) have been playing on

(at some point we started doing very vague in-character lines and the early examples are amazing)

The Guardian Fight Shitshow

aka the time where we pulled an allnighter trying to kill AG

(Context: I didnt want to die to AG, tried to die to Charlie)

Ghost went to draw gay people while somebody was AFK and I started yelling at them

this is like, only a small part of the shitshow too.

#acti.exe #The Chronicles of Godroll #long post #very very long post #VERY LONG

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maestro-of-clockwork · 1 year

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Sketchbook let out a long sigh as she shut and locked the front door. She was absolutely tired - it'd been a long day at the bakery. So many cakes baked, so many cupcakes frosted, so many cookies decorated...even with her co-workers there, the fact-pacedness of it all made her head spin...

Exhausted, she decided to wind down by flopping onto the couch with a coloring book and her favorite colored pencils. This coloring book was full of little Pusheen illustrations to color in. The sight of the gray tabby on the cover made her smile, albeit tiredly.

She was about a half-hour into coloring now, feeling completely at ease to have something nice to focus on. Her stress melted off - she was totally engrossed in her coloring.

"Hello, Sketchbook dear," his voice cooed from across the room. "What are you up to~...?"

Sketchbook froze, she dared not look up.

No.

No, that wasn't him.

She was just hearing his voice again, just an auditory illusion produced by her paranoia.

Yeah, that was it...

Deciding to shrug it off as best she could, she continued coloring.

"Aww...don't tell me you're trying to ignore me," he spoke in a slight disappointment...now sounding much closer.

"G-go away," she shakily commanded, voice rendered timid with fear. "You're-...you're not real..."

She heard his aged baritone voice chuckle lightly as footsteps approached her seat.

"I'm not real, hm? I suppose you think the gift I that gave you during my last visit wasn't real, either?"

Sketchbook's mind flashed to the bee plush Antonio had given her. That, she knew for a fact, was real. She found herself shaking, not even physically able to look up from her coloring book even if she wanted to confirm her fear.

"My dear girl, you needn't shiver so...I've only come to talk."

She could hear him take a seat on the other end of her couch - less than 3 feet away from her. Out of the corner of her eye, she could clearly see him.

Antonio.

He was there.

He was really, truly there.

Her breath caught in her throat as she finally broke her trance from the coloring book to look to her right. She saw him in perfect detail - more detail than he mind could possibly produce.

His finely-pressed black suit, the white gloves that he often wore as he politely placed his hands on his lap...Sketchbook had to physically make herself look up at his face, just to confirm it all.

Antonio wore his usual smile, coal black eyes staring right at her.

"Convinced now~...?" he asked, a playful air in his tone.

Sketchbook immediately went into flight mode, crying out in pure terror as she tried to run - Antonio responded by hooking an arm around her waist and pulling her close to his side tightly.

"Normally, I'd not mind a good chase...but I don't want you to try and get away, not now. What I have to tell you is quite important to me."

She feebly struggled as Antonio continued speaking, "Do you remember when I tricked you into thinking you finally had a father...?"

How could she forget?

Starting to tear up, she croaked out a "Y-yes..."

"Well, ever since you and all of your friends moved on...I found myself growing rather fond of you...very fond. So fond, that...I don't think that façade I put on those years ago was a façade at all.

"I've kept a close eye on you and your friends...but I found myself wondering how you were faring, most of all..."

Sketchbook's blood turned to ice when it all hit her. He'd been watching her every move. That's how he knew all of her favorite things despite her never telling him.

Thinking further into it, it explained all of those gifts with no return address, those unexplained bank deposits...

Those gifts were never from her friends...they were from him.

They were all gestures of his twisted affection for her.

He was - she felt her stomach twist at the thought - doting on her...and she didn't even know it.

Antonio saw the realization in Sketchbook's face, his smile becoming kinder as he started stroking her snow-white hair.

He chuckled at her violent flinching, "These feelings are strange to me, even now, but...it feels right to care for you...just as much as it feels right to hurt you."

Her heart was racing as she struggled to ask, "I-...wh-why...? Wh-what makes me...different...?"

"Oh, darling," his voice came softly, "do you not think you're as lovable as you are~...?"

She had a good idea of how likable she was...but Antonio was lower than the last person she wanted to give her that attention.

The man wrapped his other arm around her, pulling her into a proper embrace, his voice becoming more affectionate, much to her utter disgust.

"You're always so kind-hearted, selfless, loving and cheerful...I swear, you brighten every room you walk into with that wonderful smile of yours! Not to mention how positively adorable you are~!

"Oh, I love seeing that sparkle of joy in your eyes when you're excited; that sweet smile when you bid one of your customers a good day; that delightful laugh when you find something funny...

"You're the daughter anyone would be thrilled to have," he finished, beginning to nuzzle her cheek, "and I'm so, so very proud of you...I'm so happy that you're my little ray of sunshine~..."

Sketchbook was speechless, and really, what could she say after hearing all of this?

She stayed frozen, shaking, silently crying into his chest as he continued to pet her. His ticking was soft, calm. He was at peace, telling her this.

This wasn't another lie.

He was telling the truth.

He was being genuine.

Her tormentor, the being that tortured her in her dreams nearly every night...truly thought of her as his daughter.

Antonio hummed in delight, "It's so lovely to hold you like this...I haven't had you in my arms for so long..."

He thankfully pulled away, but unfortunately not enough for her to break out of his grasp. The man placed a hand on his "daughter's" cheek, eyes full of affection.

"I've been thinking of spending time with you more often. How about, every other week, we go out and do something fun together? I can take you anywhere you'd like to go...we can do anything your sweet little heart desires!" he suggested brightly, beaming now.

"It would be my treat, of course," he added. "Anything my little sunshine wants, she'll get~..."

Sketchbook's words finally broke through, "I-I-I...I just want you to leave me alone, T-Tony...please..."

"You may have anything but that, Sketchbook. There is no getting away from Time," replied his sing-song voice, starting to stroke her cheek with his thumb.

He did that for a few moments before finally stopping, "I suppose I'll leave you be for now. You can expect my arrival the week after the next..."

Antonio seemed to contemplate something for a bit before deciding to give Sketchbook a platonic kiss on the forehead, sending waves of unimaginable revulsion through her.

"Take very good care of yourself, sweet sunshine...and stay bundled up when you go outside," he advised, rising from the couch. "I wouldn't want you to catch a cold."

That was the last thing he said before he ruffled her hair and vanished into thin air.

Sketchbook didn't know how she was going to sleep at night after this...or if she was going to be able to sleep at all.

#[[ ooc ]]#from the typewriter. {{ t e x t }}#sit and i shall tell you a story. {{ memories }}#dhmis #very very long post #[[ godddd he is unhinged ]]

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swordswoman97 · 1 year

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Tears of the Kingdom Trailer analysis

-First off the into sequence to the trailer is sick. I don't notice anything new in there but it does look really cool.

-Hateno Village has gotten a makeover. It looks like it's been expanded or otherwise upgraded. Love the mushroom thing they've got going on, it's really neat.

-It also seems like attempts are being made to resettle Castle Town, though right now it seems like it's just a camp. Perhaps we'll get something like the Tarrey Town side quest to rebuild Castle Town? That could be neat.

-Next shown is Kakariko Village or at least the mountains overlooking it. I can't really make much out of the village itself though I'm guessing it's probably seen it's own improvements like Hateno, though the shrine seems to have been replaced with... something? Perhaps it's meant to give Link a way to the Sky Islands? There is however one new thing in that giant stone ring which seems like it's a part of something, definitely looks like it was carved on purpose.

-I'm not entirely sure where the next scene shows. My knee jerk reaction is somewhere in Faron, though the cliffs and the like also look like it could be somewhere in Tabantha. Not 100% sure.

-Next is definitely somewhere in the Gerudo desert and we watch as some structure rises out of the sand. It looks like a dungeon which has me really excited. Maybe a future version of the Arbiters Grounds? Or the Spirit Temple perhaps? Either way that structure is just screaming "dungeon"

-The castle surrounded by falling rocks. I think this is probably a scene from early in the game. The castle also looks very ominous, dark and foreboding, made only more true by the tendrils of malice as the rocks hit the ground and what I'm pretty sure is the theme BOTW used for the Blood Moon. We see the same scene from a far before

-Ganondorf looking at the Blood. God he looks terrifying and I love it.

-Another familiar scene Link trying to catch Zelda as she falls but failing

-The Gerudo desert filled with sinkholes. I think another of those things we saw in the Kakariko scene is in the background. The is just confirming my old theory that we would have to return to all the regions to fix something going wrong. Death Mountain is full of malice, the desert seems to be sinking and I can't imagine things are going much better in Zora's Domain or Rito Village.

-Speaking of Death Mountain, that next scene is definitely in Death Mountain, seemingly a mine of some sort. Link trying to fix the Malice spewing out of the volcano perhaps? Either way this area also screams "dungeon"

-A sky ship in a thunderstorm. Perhaps not all the being living on the sky islands are as hostile as the constructs? Or perhaps this is connected to another dungeon.

-Next scene is Link doing parkour in the sky, quickly shifting to Link (or someone else) skydiving through laser grids, and then to Link doing a puzzle which also seems dungeony. Next is Link paragliding through a narrow passage, which reminds me of the labyrinths, followed by Link fighting on horseback alongside a bunch of human allies, and finally Link rinding up an elevator, seemingly Shiekah tech. Looks like we're not as done with that tech as people thought.

-I don't know who this dude is but they give off very rancid vibes. I think it's the mouth. Either way I don't think they're friendly. They're definitely not a race we've seen before though. Perhaps our first example of one of the Zonai? Or maybe they're something else? An interloper? A Twili? A demon? Whatever they are they fail the vibe check.

-Two more super quick scenes, one Link on a horse on a cliff and the other is some giant construct thing awakening. And that construct thing is just screaming "boss"

-A longer scene this one Link in the castle but seemingly completely rebuilt. Is this a flashback? Has Link been sent to the past? An illusion? Either way I don't think it's the castle in it's current state, not with the scene we saw earlier.

-Zelda is okay! Though I have no idea where she is. It looks like a brand new location. We also hear a voice that I first thought was King Rhoam but no it's definitely a new voice. Probably belonging to the character we see Zelda talking to after the shot of the master sword and Link drawing it. We don't see their face but unlike the last dude I definitely think this guy is on our side. The voice is calm and almost comforting and Zelda doesn't seem afraid of him. I've seen some people suggest he's a previous hero, which it might be but whoever he is he comes off as friendly rather than intimidating.

-Link flying on that bird thing again. Probably a method of travel across different sky islands or to the surface without diving.

-Link has fused his sword and shield, which seems to allow you to block attacking with your weapon. That is cool.

-There is a ball in the sky. It seems to be hollow inside and able to be entered.

-Link fighting something. It makes a keese noise so it might be some new keese or something.

-Link being launched up alongside a young Rito. I think it might be Teba's son Tulin, but whoever they are they appear a couple times so I think they might be replacing Teba as the new Rito champion which kind of sucks tbh I liked Teba. I liked having a more serious established warrior as one of the new champions alongside the more cheerful other three.

-Link escorting a wagon which he seems to have made himself. I'm guessing we're gonna have at least one escort mission where you have to get a ground from point a to point b without them getting killed.

-And we see the combat capabilities of the recall (rewind? I don't remember) ability as Link uses it to launch an octorock's projectile back at it.

-Link using some sort of rocket to propel himself up on an island, probably one off the coast of Faron based on the plants.

-More Link doing parkour in the sky. This is definitely some sort of big challenge whether an open air dungeon or something else.

-Link riding a mine cart while fighting a construct. This looks like it's the same area of Death Mountain we saw Link in earlier which just adds to the "dungeon" vibes.

-Mech battle! Except one of the mechs is actually a talus. But it's still cool.

-Horseback combat, seemingly in the wetlands near Zora's domain followed by Link shooting some sort of device which activates a bunch of lasers. This game loves it's lasers.

-Then we have Link and the Rito from earlier fighting what looks like a giant ice monster which is also giving off boss vibes into an explosion of malice as it closes its mouth

-Zelda again this time with dialogue. She mentions knowing what she's there for and that it's something only she can do. She's holding some tear shaped gem that's glowing yellow.

-Ganondorf firing his malice laser into the sky which seems to summon a bunch of monsters before dialogue from him. It is very intimidating and I love how good a job Matt Mercer is doing. Under the dialogue we also see Link's arm get attacked by malice. Probably how the master sword gets damaged and how Link's arm ends up all weird. We then see Ganondorf and once again he looks terrifying.

-Link fighting what looks like a miniboss before cutting to Link and the Rito child.

-Another new character. She's wearing the same outfit as Zelda was and seems to have the yellow tear she was holding previously. I have three theories about her identity. 1 is that this is Zelda transformed in someway. 2 is that this is Hylia herself separate from Zelda. 3 is that this is the Zelda from 10000 years ago. I've got a slight theory connected to this one but I'll talk about that one later.

-Riju! She's here! She doesn't seem to look different in this shot so I suppose it hasn't been that long since BOTW since she doesn't seem to have aged any. She does however now have a sword. Edit: She doesn't just have any weapons, she has Urbosa's scimitars. Look at the official art!

-Link and some fighters on a hill. Most are hylian but we do see a Gerudo and a Goron among them. Perhaps Link will have to lead various fighters in battle at points?

-Link fighting alongside Sidon though Sidon looks different here than he does later in the trailer. We also hear a woman's voice saying something about "you" (presumably Link) not being alone. I'm guessing this voice is the dark skinned blonde woman shown earlier.

-Next we see Sidon, Riju, and the Rito youth from earlier charging. The Rito looks like they might be wielding Revali's bow and Sidon is whether wielding the light scale trident or a replica. Sidon is also wearing noticeably different things in this shot, wearing much fancier jewelry and more importantly his father's crown. He was not wearing the crown earlier he had the same appearance he had in BOTW. Sidon also seems to have another tear shaped gem on his hand, this one blue. My theory mentioned earlier is that perhaps these gems were used in the battle against Calamity Ganon 10,000 years ago and that's why the Divine Beasts weren't enough 100 years ago. The gems weren't mentioned in the stories, they didn't go looking for them, and perhaps not having them is how Ganon was able to take control of the divine beasts. Perhaps the original champions used them to enhance their abilities or otherwise protect themselves from Ganon and thus without them the champions of 100 years ago were left vulnerable.

-Link fighting a three headed dragon. I don't think I have to say what vibes that's giving off. But in case I do. Boss vibes. It gives off boss vibes.

-Final shot is Zelda standing on some sort of pedestal thing with the line "Link. You must find me" I'm guessing we have to reunite with Zelda somehow, figure out where she is, how to get there, and how to get back to her.

But yeah this trailer is jam packed and I am sooooo excited for Tears of the Kingdom. Fingers crossed I can get that day off.

#legend of zelda #tears of the kingdom #totk spoilers #totk trailer #long post #very very long post

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