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spencerspecifics · 3 years

Note

What about a moried fluffy fic based on You Belong With Me by: Taylor Swift

You have no clue how much I absolutely love this song prompt thank u anon moreid is my shit here we go. (It is fluffy but it’s angsty in the beginning so yeah stay for the fluff thanks.) And I’m so sorry this took so long to get up! I took some time off from writing bc of lots of factors.

Lowkey TW?? Slight homophobia Bc Derek’s gf thinks he’s “too gay” even tho he’s just bi Also, song lyrics are in bold lettering. They’re going to be part the story here and there to help plot and whatnot so yeah!

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You Belong With Me

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Spencer had a problem. Namely a person problem. A Derek Morgan problem. Spencer didn’t hate Derek, quite the opposite, actually. Spencer was crushing hard on the man. And he couldn’t do anything. Spencer would rather lose his right hand then tell Derek how he felt about him, he couldn’t risk their friendship over his stupid little crush.

But just because he hid his feelings, ignored them through hell and high water- it didn’t mean they weren’t real, or weren’t there. They were both very real and apparent. Every time Derek called him ‘pretty boy’ or ‘genius’ or ‘handsome’, every time Derek wrapped his arm around him casually or did small things to showed him he cared, caused Spencer to blush and go speechless. Spencer was smart, but how to react to someone you’re infatuated with giving you attention, he’d never be able to solve that.

Time and time again, though, he found himself in situations where it was just him and Derek- and everything in his brain and body would scream at him to tell him how much he liked him, tell him how they should be together. It just made sense, after all.

Long paragraph short, here are the four times Spencer felt like they belonged together, and the one time Derek realized they do belong together.

“...You’re on the phone with your girlfriend, she’s upset. She’s goin’ off about something that you said, ‘cause she doesn’t get your humor like I do...”

Spencer hung out with Derek a lot, it was just by default. He wasn’t a social individual, but he pack bonded with the team. Spencer saw everyone there as his friends, so yeah, he hung out with Derek. They would go do things together, grab lunch, get coffee, meet up to go shopping. Painfully mundane tasks that were so domestic it could cause spencer another migraine if he thought about it for long enough.

It was on one of these mundane days when problems slowly arose. They were in the mall, sat in the food court. Spencer was looking over a new book he had just bought, it was a thick book on physics, it would probably take him a day or two at most to read it, his tray of food in front of him was still mostly untouched.

Unlike Spencer, Derek was eating. Though it was greasy mall pizza, it was still food. Derek decided he’d run a few extra miles to work it off as some sort of consequence for his action.

They sat in silence, Spencer already flipping through pages quickly, mouthing the words he was reading over to himself; and Derek chewing silently as he watched the genius in front of him.

That was, until, Derek’s phone rang. Breaking the ambiance that had surrounded the two. Spencer didn’t look up, he was too invested in the book in front of him. Derek reacted, though, wiping his hands off on a napkin before grabbing his cell phone out of his back pocket. He looked over the caller ID, it was Melissa.

Melissa was his newest fling, Spencer had heard bits and pieces of Garcia and Derek’s conversation surrounding the topic, but he knew the bare minimum- deciding best to not involve himself with how his crushes romantic life was soaring- meanwhile his was crashing.

Spencer didn’t know it was Melissa though, not until Derek pulled the phone up to his ear and said; “Hey, Melissa!”

If anyone on their team was with them and watching Spencer, they would have noticed the way his eyes looked off the book for a moment, up at Derek, before immediately turning back down; to reread the same page he didn’t need to reread because he could just go back into his memory to figure out what the words on the paper meant to say. But he had to reread the page. The strongest memory in the whole universe couldn’t tell him what was on the page in front of him, he was distracted.

Melissa on the other line started speaking. Derek listened before responding; “Oh, not much, Y’know- just at the mall with the doc.”

Spencer kept himself staring down at the book in front of him, even though he could feel the blush rising up to his ears. It was stupid that made him blush like a schoolgirl. But he couldn’t help it. So instead, he hid in the pages about quantum mechanics. Something real, something not confusing. Something that was pure and basic and understanding.

“No-“ Derek chuckled, “No, pretty boy ain’t that type of doctor,” god, this was going to be the death of Spencer. Pretty boy always was something that made him melt. He couldn’t help it, god knows he tried. He did all the distraction techniques he could find. None of them really worked.

Spencer opted to hide in his book more, act like he wasn’t listening to Derek. Even though he was. He was always hooked on every last word the man spoke, it always mattered. This was just a hopeless effort, Spencer realized, as he sunk down in the uncomfortable plastic chair.

“Now, what on earth are you- hey, baby- beautiful, what are you-“ Derek started, sounding concerned.

Spencer couldn’t help it at this point, he looked up over the top of the book. Derek was looking at his phone in bewilderment. It was no longer up to his ear.

“...Everything okay?” Spencer asked curiously after a moment. Derek just sighed setting his phone down on the table next to his food tray. “I don’t even know, man. I called you pretty boy and that made Melissa flip- she was all like ‘who’s pretty boy? We discussed you being bisexual already, you better not be changing up on me’. Then she hung up.”

“That doesn’t make sense.” Spencer replied, book still up between him and Morgan. “Yeah, I’m confused. It was a joke.” Derek explained to Reid, as if Spencer was ever owed an explanation regarding this.

“She must be insecure.” Spencer theorized plain and simple. Derek watched him curiously instead of asking anything to lead him on, “If she gets the idea that we’re a thing- just based on a nickname, then she’s gonna hate you and Garcia. You don’t need someone like that.”

Derek sighed, “You’re right. But I really thought she was great.” “Maybe she is,” Spencer shrugged, “I don’t know her. You do. All I’m saying is, she won’t like you and Garcia if she didn’t like my nickname.”

That elicited a chuckle from Derek, a sound Spencer always cherished in hearing. “Yeah, I can’t have someone hating my favorite boy wonder,” once again, Spencer could feel the blush coming onto his face. He was just hoping the lighting inside the mall food court didn’t make it all too obvious. “I’ll talk to her about it.” Derek decided. Spencer just nodded, not entirely wanting to talk right now.

“Yeah.. um, do what’s best.” Spencer agreed blandly. He wasn’t sure what else to say. And wasn’t this just laughable? Giving his crush dating advice? Spencer wasn’t stupid, but he was in this scenario.

“Yeah, I will. Anyways,” Derek continued the conversation casually, reaching out covering Spencer’s book with his hand. “What are you-“ Spencer started, confused. “Taking away your book. Eat before your food gets cold.” Derek spoke plainly, as if this was so obvious. He pulled Spencer’s book out of his grasp, setting it down next to himself; before pushing Spencer’s untouched tray of food in front of him.

“I’m not very-“ Spencer started, already trying to reach back for his book. Derek just shook his head, pulling the book closer to him. “Nuh-uh, not today. Not today. You’re eating. No if’s, and’s, or but’s.”

Spencer sunk down in his seat a little as he finally caved, agreeing and eating the mall food. Granted, it wasn’t great, but it was food, and he did need to eat. Last thing he had eaten that day was a granola bar for breakfast, and Derek knew that he forgot to eat.

He ate in silence as Derek watched him, before moving his gaze to casually watch the other mall patrons. It was so entirely stupid and domestic of them. It was nothing special, it wasn’t even that good of a memory. But for some reason, Spencer knew that was the first time he felt something new towards Derek. More new than just his crush. It was a new, overwhelming feeling of “I wouldn’t treat you that way” “I wouldn’t care if you called someone babygirl” “I would be better for you” before finally, his mind landed on, “you belong with someone who wouldn’t judge. Someone like me. You belong with me.”

That’s when Spencer knew he was fucked, more so than before.

“...I’m in the room, it’s a typical Tuesday night. I’m listening to the type of music she doesn’t like. And she’ll never know your story like I do...”

The second time was at Spencer’s apartment. He had complained about his bookshelf not being stable enough to hold all his books, and Derek had practically invited himself over; “C’mon, Reid. It’ll be good. Get some quality time without the ladies, we can order Chinese, plus I can show you how to fix your shelf so you don’t have to ask for help next time.”

So yeah, now they had gone directly from work to Spencer’s apartment- the only pit stop being to Derek’s house to pick up his toolbox, as Spencer didn’t have one.

Spencer wished he wasn’t such a pushover, because damnit, now he was gonna be in his apartment with Derek. That didn’t seem like a problem to anyone else, obviously- because they weren’t crushing hard on the guy. So Spencer just had to stand there and hide how much he liked Derek, and how at home Derek made his apartment feel- because it felt better with him there. He belonged there.

Spencer ignored his thoughts as they got into his apartment, he led Derek over to the problematic bookshelf in question. Some of the books had toppled off the shelves, and were on the ground below. “Damn, Reid, you don’t mess around with all these books.” Derek joked lightly as he looked over the immense amount of books Spencer had shoved onto the shelf; Derek squatted down, lowering the tool kit next to him as he started taking books off the shelves one by one so he could further inspect what was wrong with it.

Spencer protested, not understanding Derek was joking, “It’s not my fault- the bookshelf is supposed to hold books, if it can’t do what’s promised then that’s on the manufacturers error.”

Derek just chuckled slowly in response before replying, still pulling books off the shelves “Don’t worry, pretty boy, we’ll get this sorted out for you, alright? Just get some music on so we got something to hang to.” Derek wasn’t looking at Spencer, thank god- or he’d see how the genius got so flustered so quickly, how quickly a blush spread across his face, and how he immediately looked away from him, to the walls, the floor. To look at anything but Derek.

“Yes- right. Music.” Spencer changed his focus, he couldn’t think about how good it felt to be called a pet name by Derek. He couldn’t let himself think about it, or else he’d never stop. So he busied himself with getting some music to play through the quiet apartment, he turned over to his old radio that was sat on his study desk, it was a loud radio, that’s why he got it. It was compact, but if he put it in the bathroom he could hear it from the kitchen. It was the perfect device for him.

Spencer turned the radio on, the channel he always listened to was already tuned in, so he left it that way. Soft instrumental music started flowing out of the speakers, Derek stopped his motion of putting books down to turn and look at Spencer semi-curiously; “What’s this music?” “Classical.” Spencer replied easily, looking down at the radio as he messed with the volume dial that always seemed to be loose. “It’s on 88.1, they play strictly instrumental and classical pieces. It’s nice.”

Derek didn’t respond, Spencer didn’t need him to respond. It was an inconsequential conversation about music. If Derek didn’t like the station, he was more than welcome to change it to another. But he didn’t, it was Spencer’s apartment, and the soft classical music playing just seemed fitting to play there. Plus Derek just wanted the music as a background sound to help him focus, it wasn’t really important what it was- just that there was music playing.

Spencer went off to the kitchen to find the menu he had saved from the local Chinese restaurant that does deliveries, meanwhile Derek continued pulling books off the shelves. Melissa would hate him for being here, ever since the call at the mall, she was convinced Derek was going to leave her for him- or for another guy. She thought he was “too gay” to stay with her, obviously that’s not how him or his bisexuality works. But Melissa didn’t see it that way.

God, everything Derek saw, Melissa saw differently, it was ironic he was even with her. He saw Penelope Garcia as his best female friend, his babygirl. Melissa saw her as a threat, they had a whole argument about it. Melissa had finally stopped seeing Garcia as a threat when he told her that Garcia was wrapped up in Kevin drama. He wanted to tell Garcia about all of this, but he knew that if he did she would immediately tell him to dump her. Anyone that came between their friendship wasn’t allowed, and that wasn’t a rule Garcia had made up, it was more of an understanding they had come to about their dynamic as friends.

Derek just hadn’t dumped her yet out of fear. This was his first significant other in so long, it felt like a failure to start something and end it. He wanted to fix it. Though he knew it was unlikely he could, he still wanted to try.

Derek kept thinking as he finished pulling the books off until there were none left, he then pulled on the board of the shelf to see how unstable it was, all while continuing to think. He thought about Melissa, but none of it was really positive. It was all what she would hate about him being here, other than the obvious of being with Spencer (which she already disliked. She hated the genius and she hadn’t ever spoken to him, which Derek didn’t think was rational at all.) She would hate how Spencer’s apartment was, the green walls and shelves of books, the lack of a television, the soft glow from the lamps. Derek found every single last one of these qualities endearing, it helped show who Spencer was as a whole. Melissa would see it as a problem.

She’d say green was a gross color, that Spencer needed to be aware of pop culture and get a television, she’d say that Spencer didn’t get out enough and he lived like a hermit; she’d say the lighting was weird and dark, instead of soft and calming.

Derek let out a sigh, deciding to abandon his thoughts as a whole, because they were just starting to irritate him. Spencer was great the way he was, Melissa was being problematic; and him and her really needed couples counseling or something. That was the decision he landed on as he gave his full attention to the wiggly boards in Spencer’s bookshelf.

Derek pulled on the shelf again to test it’s strength. It was loose, pretty close to just falling down altogether. It was good he was here to fix it, Derek concluded, as he reached for the screwdriver in his toolkit.

The night continued on, Derek went through part by part, working on fixing Spencer’s bookshelf; meanwhile Spencer had ordered them dinner from the local Chinese place. Reid had thought about setting up the dinner at his kitchen table, before immediately regretting that idea. This was casual, it wasn’t some type of sit down dinner with Derek. That’s the last thing he needed, Spencer decided, as he walked over to Derek and handed him the carton of beef broccoli and a pair of chopsticks to go with.

Derek took them and put them down next to himself quickly, before pivoting into a sitting position on the floor and turning himself away from the bookshelf, facing exactly to the dinner table- which is where Spencer had opted to sit at, alone.

“What’re you doing all the way over there?” Derek’s spoke out to him. Spencer tried to be casual, “All my stuff’s over here, and it’s not that far from you,” he shrugged, hoping Derek wouldn’t go any deeper. But of course, he did. “And I’m over here, so bring your stuff my way- you’re gonna make your repairman eat sitting on the floor alone? That’s cold, man.”

Spencer rolled his eyes as he picked up his carton of orange chicken and rice, “Okay, I’m here.” He tried to sound like he was annoyed, instead of stupidly simultaneously happy and unhappy with derek’s request (happy because his stupid crush on Derek, unhappy because of the same, unfortunate reason).

He made his way over to Morgan, sitting down across from him and using the back of his couch as a makeshift chair prop to lean against. He opened up his food, as Derek was now satisfied with this series of events and had gone back to paying attention to his beef broccoli. Spencer picked up his fork, ready to eat and just ignore how he was feeling, when Derek spoke up again; “Seriously- you still don’t know how to use chopsticks?”

Suddenly, Spencer was giving Derek a glare that had no malice, while Derek just chuckled at Spencer’s fury. “I’m tellin’ you. You need to learn how to use chopsticks.” “It’s fine.” Spencer argued weakly, “No way, if suddenly all the forks, knives, and spoons vanished, you’d have to eat with chopsticks.”

“Not true if sporks are still a thing.” Spencer pointed out, “I’m gonna smack you.” Derek replied, now it was Spencer’s turn to laugh.

“...But she wears short skirts, I wear T-shirts, she’s cheer captain and I’m on the bleachers. Dreaming ‘bout the day when you wake up and find. That what you’re looking for has been here the whole time...”

The third time was when Spencer had resigned, accepting his feelings for what they were. He was now simply playing the waiting game, of waiting his crush out- because god knows he can’t go on like this forever. He hated how things have changed from a small crush into a serious never ending stream of thoughts he had whenever he was with Derek, but that’s how it was for him now.

He had ways to keep himself in check, though. As he always did. One was re-reading long old stories to himself from memory. It usually worked pretty well, and it was a good way to just pass the time in general.

Except for one, especially horrid time, when the FBI baseball team had a game against the CIA’s.

Spencer wasn’t playing, thank god for that. He wasn’t good at sports, though that one time he played baseball with Derek earlier in the season was a great memory he loved to go back to and remember. But that was a fluke, and he knew if he played again it wouldn’t go nearly as well.

Since he wasn’t playing, him and the rest of the team had come along to bring Morgan moral support from the sidelines of the bleachers. What Spencer hadn’t expected was Melissa showing up, too.

She showed up at the same time the team did to the field, they set up on the bleachers with some blankets and a basket full of snacks (courtesy of one Penelope Garcia.) and then she was suddenly walking over, surprising the team.

“Hi- um, are you Garcia? Is this the area for the BAU?” She asked, she had shoulder length brown hair, hazel eyes, and was wearing a flowy pink and yellow sundress. She was pretty, borderline beautiful, there was no denying that.

Spencer decided to start re-reading the books in his head by that point. He could already guess it was Melissa, as Rossi wouldn’t have invited a woman to this event until at least the ninth or eighth date (though with Rossi, Spencer never really knew how he operated in terms of dating, and he had no desire to know). Spencer also knew she wasn’t Hotch’s, as Hotch was too focused on Jack and the team to even consider dating.

Emily was single, and definitely would not invite a guy (or girl) to this either. J.J. was happy with Will, and Penelope had the on and off thing with Kevin. So yeah, Spencer deduced easily that this beautiful mysterious woman was Melissa.

The fact Derek invited Melissa rubbed Spencer the wrong way. But it wasn’t his business, he reminded himself, as he did his best to start focusing in on pride and prejudice in his mind.

Garcia began welcoming Melissa, even though it wasn’t necessary; “It is! And I am! Hi! Are you Melissa? Derek told me you were coming!”

Spencer did his best to not focus on Melissa, skipping forward a few chapters into pride of prejudice in his mind, to keep himself focused. He got pulled from his book though, as Melissa introduced herself and Garcia started introducing the team back;

“Well, grandpa over there is David Rossi,” “Easy, or else you won’t get those extra vacation days I offered you.” Rossi replied simply as hell, reaching for a bag of chips from the basket. “Fine- that esteemed gentleman right there is David Rossi.” “Better.” Rossi responded, a small grin showing across his face. Melissa laughed softly with Garcia and Rossi for a moment before Penelope continued on;

“That’s Aaron Hotchner, and his son Jack.” Garcia pointed them out, Jack was playing on his Nintendo DS, only looking up to wave briefly as Hotch reached over to shake Melissa’s hand. “Nice to meet you.” “You too.” She smiled at him.

“Those two lovely ladies are Jennifer Jareau and Emily Prentiss, plus Jennifer’s hubby Will and their adorable son Henry,” they all shook hands with Melissa, and J.J. briefly told her that it wasn’t necessary to call her “Jennifer” but instead “J.J.” as that was the name she was most used to.

“Then, we got Doctor beautiful brain, Spencer Reid.” Spencer looked up, giving Melissa a small wave, finally looking her head on. He had seen her, sure, but he hadn’t made eye contact with her until right now. And damn, she looked wild behind the eyes. And not in a good way. She was perky, seemingly almost as positive as Penelope. But that positivity didn’t reach her eyes. She looked Spencer up and down, and there was something deep in her gaze that made him want to get up and walk to the CIA side of the bleachers. It was clear he was going to have to walk on eggshells around her, and he wished he knew why.

“It’s nice to meet you.” Spencer offered up as a greeting, “You too,” Melissa replied, smiling as she turned on her polite charm again. It was only in her eyes he could see her distaste towards him. “I’ve heard so much about you.”

Melissa settled down, sitting next to the rest of the team as they waited for the game to start. She was thankfully seated near Emily, J.J., and Garcia. So Spencer and her’s conversation was limited.

That was until, he was brought up in conversation; “Oh geez- one of the funniest things was when Spence and Morgan got stuck in that elevator together,” J.J. recounted, causing all four of them to laugh; meanwhile Spencer didn’t react. He was still deep in his mind reading, and though he heard his name called, it didn’t cause him to want to stop.

“Yeah- I heard about that from Derek, he said Spencer spouted off some fact about people and elevator deaths because he was scared.” Melissa turned to Spencer as she spoke, giving him an in to speak. Spencer didn’t realize she had even turned to him, as he was fully focusing his brain power on the pages of the book he had read over before.

“Uh.. what’s he doing?” Melissa asked in a hushed voice to J.J., “Oh- he’s just reading. Spencer, hey.” J.J. said, leaning over and tapping his shoulder, finally catching his attention; causing him to open his eyes.

“Sorry- what?” Spencer finally spoke, as he was fully there and listening to them now, instead of somewhat ignoring them and focusing on a memory of a book.

“..J.J. said you were reading?” Melissa asked curiously, obviously confused. Spencer nodded, “Yes. I was. I have an eidetic memory so I can look back at anything I’ve ever read. So sometimes I go back and read books I’ve read before.” Spencer explained awkwardly, “I do it to, uh, pass the time.”

“Hm.. that’s.. that’s cool. Derek mentioned you were smart, recounting lots of facts.” Melissa said slowly, it seemed like she was trying to gain some sort of edge in the conversation, but thankfully Emily butted in casually- not realizing the odd atmosphere that was slowly building.

“Oh yeah- Reid’s always doing that. Talk to him on Halloween and all he talks about is how paganism played a major role in the now very American, very non-pagan holiday.” The girls laughed on innocently as Melissa gained a serious look in her eye again.

“You know everything?” She asked him, “No.” he replied, he was self assured in this field, he knew how to handle himself when people were doubting his intelligence level. “I just know a lot.” He clarified.

Melissa looked like she was ready to speak, say something to him- he had no clue if it would be good or bad. But everyone’s attention got redirected on the whooping sounds both teams made as they entered the field. The game was starting.

Spencer had stayed focused on the game, even running statistics and probabilities in his head on who would come out victorious. Rossi made a joke they should bet on the game like people do on horses, and he’d just cheat and use Reid to make sure he won.

The rest of the team didn’t go for that, as they would employ the same strategy as Rossi, and Spencer was smart enough to give them all the wrong answers so he would actually win.

It was now the third inning, J.J. had gone with Hotchner and Will to take a short walk with the kids, as they were getting bored in their seats. Rossi went off to flirt it up with the older woman who was running the concessions stand, and Emily and Garcia had gone off to the bathroom together.

Now it was just Melissa and Reid alone, and Reid didn’t like her company. He didn’t mean it in a rude way, but also maybe he did- for his very stupid and very personal reason that she was actively dating his crush. But besides that reason, she seemed off, and on a team of behavioral analysts, he couldn’t be the only one who noticed.

There was something wrong with her, but Spencer couldn’t place his finger on what. That was, until, she sat down next to him on the bleachers. “So,” she started casually, “what’re you reading up there?” “Pride and Prejudice.. have you read it?” Spencer replied, doing his best to make polite conversation.

Melissa shook her head, “No, way too long of a book for me.” Spencer just nodded, an “Ah” sound escaping his lips before their conversation entirely diminished as they sat in silence, watching the CIA’s team line up for batting.

Derek was on second base, and while he waited for the CIA team to finish lining up, he turned to the only two people still on the bleachers and waved. Melissa waved in response excitedly, “Go Derek!” She shouted for good measure, Reid on the other hand just gave a small wave to him.

Their personalities were very different, Spencer gathered.

“Derek helped you with a bookshelf the other week, right?” Melissa asked after silence had settled over them, and Reid had almost returned to his brain book. Her question stopped him from reading, though.

Spencer nodded, “Uh, yeah. He helped fix my bookshelf, the boards were all wobbly and books couldn’t stay on.” Melissa hummed in response for a moment, before looking back out to the field. Derek was now busy talking to a teammate, a guy Spencer recognized from the terrorist division.

“Look, Spencer,” Melissa finally spoke again, letting out a sigh before she continued on; “We both know Derek is an attractive man, a great man. But he’s my man. I don’t need you confusing him and making him switch sides- believe me, I want to think that you two are just the best of friends and that’s it. But I don’t believe it, not for a second, especially not after hearing how he talks about you, and finally meeting you.”

Spencer stayed quiet, not looking at Melissa, instead opting to stare at his hands, that were now firmly clasped together as he took in what she was saying. “We are just friends, though..” Spencer finally spoke up in a weak defense for himself. Melissa just chuckled, their pleasant conversation had somehow turned to her speaking to him in a sickly sweet malicious tone.

“I don’t think you are. I think there’s something more, and I don’t want things to go any further- with either of you.”

Spencer stayed quiet again, seriously considering exiting the bleachers and getting a cab (as the team had carpooled over to this event together.) and just leaving, going back to his apartment and faking the stomach flu for a day and a half. It seemed so appealing to just disappear right now.

Melissa continued on after she realized Spencer wasn’t going to say anything. “I’m not trying to be the bad guy here, Spencer. You seem very kind, and smart. You told me earlier you don’t know everything, but you know a lot,”

Spencer nodded, that was true, he had said that, she kept going; “I hope you now know where your place is. Away from Derek. And I hope you know you aren’t alone with me talking to you, I would be telling Penelope Garcia the same exact thing, except she has a boyfriend, Kevin. Derek told me. So you’re the only single one who poses a problem. I hope we can be friends- but you need to back up.”

And that was all, she got up and moved away, and just in time as Emily and Garcia made their reappearance from the bathroom and onto the bleachers.

Spencer stayed frozen, however. Not really sure what he could say or do. All he knew now is that he had a very good reason to dislike Melissa. And he did, as much as he hated to admit it. He disliked Melissa, he wanted her gone. He didn’t want her and Derek together.

He was now only more sure that he would treat Derek better, he wouldn’t go around threatening his friends- he couldn’t even imagine that as something he would ever want to do.

Spencer stayed, shrunken on the bleachers as he watched the team play, staying quiet and reserved while Melissa and the rest of the team cheered.

Spencer just hoped Derek figured out that Melissa wasn’t good for him sooner than later, or else he’d never get out of the relationship scratch-free.

“Walkin’ the streets with you and your worn out jeans. I can’t help thinking this is how it ought to be. Laughin’ on the park bench thinking to myself, ‘hey isn’t this easy?’. And you got a smile that could light up this whole town. I haven’t seen it in a while since she brought you down. You say you’re fine I know you better than that. Hey, whatcha doing with a girl like that?”

Since Spencer’s unfortunate encounter with Melissa, he had done his best to steer clear of Derek. Only being with him when necessary (and they were only really together for work, though for the few latest times that Derek’s invited him out to get food or see a movie, Spencer’s declined).

Derek had subtly caught notice, wondering why Reid had been declining his invitations. At first he thought it was because Reid was busy, he was somehow also getting a bachelors degree in philosophy at the moment, it made since if he had limited free time.

But then he did more thinking, and even if reid was busy- he always made time for Derek. Morgan knew that for a fact, because every time he needed help (work related or not) Spencer was there, and ready to assist. Even if Reid was studying, the kid read so fast he only needed to read something once to remember everything. So it didn’t make sense. Not at all. Spencer was avoiding him.

So why? Derek now had to get alone with Reid, he needed to see what this was about.

And Derek got his chance, after solving a case in the sleepy city within Maine, called Rangeley. The teams plane was having a malfunction issue with a part of the engine, so they were stuck there for an extra day. Unfortunate for everyone else, but a blessing in disguise for Derek. It was the perfect time for the team to hang together, maybe get some meals or see a movie. But Derek set up a plan.

Morgan knocked on Spencer’s door the morning they had nothing to do, with his plan already getting set in motion. This was step one, of many.

Reid responded in his own special fashion, opening the door a crack to look out at Derek and into the hall, his hair looked messy, he was still slightly bleary eyed- and he was still in his pajamas and mismatched socks. He had just woken up.

“Sorry, did I wake you?” Derek asked, he didn’t want to start this morning off on Reid being rudely awoken. Reid nodded as he opened the door more, stepping forward the slightest bit. “Yeah, but it’s okay. What’s going on?” Reid was already aware of the plane situation, the whole team had been told last night, which forced Derek into making this last minute plan.

“Nothing- the team doesn’t have anything to do. Wanna go get breakfast?” Derek asked, trying to phrase his words and himself casually. He didn’t want Reid to get suspicious and back out. He just wanted answers from his best friend, that’s all.

Spencer rubbed the sleep out of his eyes before responding. “Okay, yeah. Let me go get changed.”

They arrived at an Ihop. It wasn’t anything special, but it was the nearest breakfast place to the hotel, so it worked for them. They were greeted by a hostess who showed them to a booth.

Spencer didn’t know why he agreed this this, he shouldn’t have. But in his half-awake and still somehow sleep deprived mind, breakfast seemed like a good idea. A great idea, in fact. But he now was anxious again. He didn’t want to deal with Melissa, call him scared, nonconfrontational, weak- whatever. He just didn’t want to have to deal with her. He enjoyed hanging out with Derek, but he knew if he did then it would be inevitable that he would end up facing her wrath again.

Almost immediately after the hostess showed them to their booth, their waiter appeared to take their orders. “Goodmorning, what can I get started for you two?” The older gentleman, whose name tag simply read “John” asked them.

“Just some coffee, please.” Derek ordered for the both of them. He knew what Spencer would want to order, and he also knew how bad Spencer was at conversing with people he wasn’t familiar enough with. John just nodded, saying a quick; “Comin’ right up!” Before walking off to leave them alone.

“Is the rest of the team coming?” Spencer asked as he stifled a yawn with his hand. Derek shook his head, “No, they all wanted to sleep in. Lucky I dragged you out of bed, though.” He joked, hoping to lighten the mood in the room. Spencer just smiled sheepishly for a moment before looking back down at the table.

They stayed quiet, which wasn’t unusual for the two, especially considering they were both still tired. But Derek didn’t want there to be silence, he wanted to talk about what was going on. “Reid-“ he started, but before he could continue his sentence, John was standing by the table with a pot of coffee. Derek and Spencer both wordlessly pushed their mugs over towards John, watching him fill them up with coffee in silence.

John finished pouring and stepped back, “I’ll give you folks some more time before ordering.” Derek just nodded at him, “That would be great, thank you.” And with that, their waiter was gone.

Reid was now focused on his mug of coffee, grabbing some sugar packets from the container on the table and ripping one open after another, before finally pouring it into his coffee. “How many sugars you plan on putting in there?” “Two.” “You’re already ripping open a third packet, Reid.”

“Oh.” Was all he said in response, Derek sighed, Spencer wasn’t acting right; he hadn’t for a while but this morning was peak Reid-being-weird, so Derek needed to take a stronger approach; “Reid. What’s wrong?”

“Hm? Nothing’s wrong.” Spencer said all too quickly to be believable. Derek rolled his eyes, watching the tired genius grab a spoon and stir his coffee with an intensity he never normally used. “That doesn’t work on me, man. We’re all profilers. I know when something’s up.” Spencer stayed quiet, still stirring his coffee with the spoon.

Reid didn’t want to be in this situation. He knew he should’ve hidden himself better, said and acted in different ways. Derek knew something was up, and Spencer couldn’t hide it forever. Especially not from him. He hated lying to Morgan.

“So..” Spencer spoke quietly, “What do you think is up?” Derek rolled his eyes at Spencer again, “Don’t talk to me like an unsub trying to stall. Somethings wrong. Did I do something- was it something I did or said?” Spencer put his spoon down as he watched Derek.

“I gotta be honest, Reid. I don’t know what’s going on here. We used to hangout so much, and suddenly you’re giving me the cold shoulder. I thought it was because of your studies- but you’ve done written whole thesesis while we’ve hungout. So it’s not you being busy with school. You make time. Why isn’t there any time now?” Derek kept going, voice raising in intensity as he got to the end.

Spencer wanted to say something, he wanted to say something so bad. But he didn’t know what. So instead he took a sip of his not-sweet-enough coffee. Derek watched him as he did so, intensity not wavering.

Spencer put the mug back down onto the table before he finally found his words, “It’s not you. You didn’t do anything.” “So what is it?” Morgan asked him almost instantly. Spencer sighed, he didn’t want to say it was Melissa. He couldn’t, he didn’t want to make Derek feel bad, he thought Derek was happy with her. He didn’t want to ruin that, even if Melissa was terrible. Derek was seemingly glad, and Spencer didn’t want him changing from positive to anything else (except somehow maybe more positive.)

“It’s nothing.” “It’s definitely not nothing, Reid. Please tell me.” Derek pried more. He couldn’t let this go. Spencer sighed, a weak sign of defeat. “Okay- but. I’m sorry. This involves Melissa.” He admitted, looking up to see Derek had a confused expression on his face. “What about her?” “When we went to the baseball game a few weeks ago and met her. She was really pleasant at first, but as soon as we were alone on the bleachers together she told me that I needed to stop being so close with you. And it really freaked me out, she saw me as a threat.”

Derek leaned back in the booth bench, unsure of what to do. “What did she say?” Derek finally asked after a moment, deciding he wanted to know what Melissa said to Spencer in full to make him act like this. Spencer didn’t deserve to be treated this way, he just didn’t. “I’m not going to-“ Spencer started, Derek just cut him off, “Yes you will. I know you remember what she said. So tell me. Please.”

Spencer fidgeted with the handle of the mug, “Okay, okay.. she said that you were her man and then she said, ‘I don’t need you confusing him and making him switch sides’...” Spencer spoke once more after that, before he could forget, “She also, um.. she said she would tell Garcia the same thing, except she didn’t because she knew she was with kevin.”

Derek stayed quiet, looking at Spencer before looking back down at his mug of coffee. Spencer stayed quiet, he didn’t know what he could say or do right now to make this better.

“I’m sorry.” Spencer finally decided to speak after it had been silent for a few minutes. “I didn’t want to tell you because you-“

Derek held his hand up as a simple gesture, indicating Spencer should be quiet. Spencer hushed up quickly, watching Morgan, who was sitting silently still, staring down with an intensity that could burn stronger than the sun. He stood up after a moment, pulling out his wallet and putting two twenty dollar bills down on the table, in front of Spencer. “For the coffee. Get some breakfast, too. I need to go.” “Derek, I-“ Spencer started, standing up, he wasn’t gonna leave Derek alone, especially to process this large amount of information. but he had started walking away, back turned to reid- leaving him alone at the booth. He wasn’t going to come back, and as much as Spencer wanted to follow him and never leave his side- he could tell he should leave him alone, at least for now.

After that whole experience, Spencer didn’t stay to get breakfast. He finished his coffee, paid, and left quickly. Deciding Derek needed space, and he wasn’t sure what else he could do, so he tucked tail back to the hotel. He lied to himself, saying maybe he could nap or watch T.V and ignore his imploding thoughts.

He couldn’t ignore his imploding thoughts, if that wasn’t painstakingly obvious. Spencer’s mind reeled from every aspect of their breakfast, to how he was curt and almost rude to Derek- he now wished he hadn’t been, but how else could he have acted? He didn’t know. He hated how things had went. He should’ve lied and told Derek he didn’t have the time for breakfast.

So, when Spencer finally got the hotel, he sat and thought and waited, waited for any sounds outside of his hotel door. Derek’s room was directly across the hall from his. So he waited for the sounds of the door opening, the beeping of the keycard, the sound of footsteps that were muffled by the soft carpet. Anything that would show Derek was back, back close to him, close enough to him for a conversation again. Because he knew that they needed to talk.

Spencer was counting. One hour and eighteen minutes passed before he heard any sounds of life that would match what he was waiting for. Namely, he heard the footsteps approach by his door, and then the beep of the keycard. And finally, the door opening and shutting quickly. Derek was there, he was back, Spencer got off his perch on the bed in record speed, exiting out to the hall and crossing quickly.

He was about to knock on the door, hand raised in the air, before he slowed himself down. Was this too much? What if Morgan didn’t want to talk to right now? What if Derek thought he was lying and was mad? Oh god, that terrified Spencer. He hoped Derek knew he wasn’t lying, he could run any behavior test he wanted to, but he wouldn’t lie to Derek. Not now, not ever.

Spencer still had his hand raised in the air, standing directly in front of the door. If Derek thought he was lying, he would prove he wasn’t. Nothing mattered right now, Spencer decided as he took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

Spencer heard movement from inside the room, before Derek opened the door. He looked stressed, the lines in his face were hard set, this was how he looked when he dealt with an unsub. This isn’t how he should be looking on a day off. Derek said nothing as he looked at Spencer, “Can we talk?” Spencer asked him after it was clear Derek wasn’t going to start talking.

Derek nodded. Wordlessly opening the door more, and stepping back to allow Reid inside. He stepped in, Derek’s room was a mirror copy of Spencer’s, simple and small. He had his duffel sat on the floor by the small twin bed provided by the hotel.

Reid stood in the room, Derek moved past him to sit down on the edge of the bed as Spencer messed with some loose thread on his jacket, “I, um... I got your change..” Spencer started, reaching into his pocket and pulling out the wad of cash and coins. He wasn’t sure what to say now that he was inside Derek’s room. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting, so he wasn’t sure how to prepare. Derek wasn’t acting like himself, so he didn’t know what would work.

Spencer went to hand it back to him, “Reid, no.” Derek started, causing Spencer to stop in his tracks, holding the money in silence.

“You didn’t come here for that.” Derek motioned to the money with his hand. “No. I didn’t.” Spencer mumbled awkwardly, shoving it back into his jacket pocket, the coins clinking together all too loudly for his liking.

“I’m sorry.” Derek sighed after a moment, “I shouldn’t have ran off like that. It’s just- I couldn’t believe what you were saying.” Spencer nodded, he wanted to say so much to Derek. He wanted to say, “I swear on my mother I am not lying”, he wanted to say “I’m sorry, I should have stayed quiet” he wanted to say “I care about you so much and I don’t want to see you walk away, I don’t want to lose you”. But Spencer couldn’t talk, he wasn’t sure what would come out if he spoke.

“I, uh, I called Melissa.” Derek told him, “After I left. I called her, I asked her if she said that to you, and she said she didn’t say it like that,” He took a breath before continuing on, “I asked her what she meant, because she wasn’t denying what she said. She just was saying the wording was off.”

Spencer found his small, awkward voice, deciding to look down at the floor instead of Derek. He was scared of what he would see. “What did she say the wording was?” He asked Derek, “She said she was harsher than that, told you to back off. Then she tried to explain herself, as if any of what she did was acceptable and could be fine under the disguise of caring for your significant other.”

“Reid, look at me. Please.” Derek sighed, not continuing whatever else he was going to say. Spencer finally looked up to meet his eyes. Derek just looked tired, leaning awkwardly on the couch, as he kept his gaze on Spencer.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cause this.” Spencer apologized, he had no clue if he needed to. But it felt like what he had to do.

“No, don’t.” Derek shook his head, as if to knock the apology out of his brain. “Thank you for telling me. Thank you. The red flags were there, Reid. And there were so many. I was just ignoring them.”

Spencer stayed quiet, watching Derek as he admitted this out loud; “I just- I wanted to make it work. But the fact she said that to you, and was gonna tell garcia, I just-“ Derek shook his head again, a mixture of defeat and anger simultaneously now instead of a signal for reid to stop.

“It upset me. I couldn’t believe it. So I called her and that happened and... and...” Derek trailed off, sighing simply as if that was the end of the sentence.

“...You broke up?” Spencer asked carefully, not wanting to misjudge. Derek nodded, rubbing his face with both hands. He was stressed. Spencer could tell.

“We did. It’s for the best. I can’t be dating someone who is like that. Especially not to you, or Garcia. That’s the biggest deal breaker out there.” Derek spoke, he was still serious but he was also sort of joking in a way to help calm the atmosphere down.

Spencer didn’t respond right away, instead moving to sit down on the edge of the bed, a few feet away from Morgan to give him plenty space. Derek didn’t like that, pulling on Spencer’s hand and motioning him to sit directly by his side.

Spencer complied, but cursed his face for causing a blush to form. This wasn’t the time to savor the feeling of Derek’s strong grip on his hand. It wasn’t.

Spencer was now sat down next to Derek, he wasn’t sure what else to say, so he stayed quiet. But he knew he didn’t want to leave Derek’s side now. He needed to be here. It couldn’t be easy for Derek.

“I’m sorry I left you at the restaurant.” Derek spoke after a while of them sitting side by side. “It’s okay,” Spencer told him, Derek gave him a sideways glance that proved he didn’t believe what he was saying.

“I didn’t end up having breakfast, though. I was worried.” Spencer admitted. Derek let out a low chuckle, and god, Spencer loved that sound. When was the last time he heard it? It used to be as common as hearing traffic in downtown Quantico, but as of lately; he hadn’t heard it often. Spencer knew in the back of his head, it was probably Melissa. Small things had changed with Derek during their time of dating.

First, it was calling Spencer “pretty boy”, and Garcia “baby girl”. Derek stopped saying it, and as much as garcia was worried about him, Derek had assured her he was okay. (Spencer didn’t mind the nickname stopping, as he finally didn’t have to come up with an excuse every time he blushed in front of the team when Derek would call him that.)

But then, Derek showed up to work looking tired, and sure- the job took long hours and restless nights and way too many coffee breaks. But he looked like he was losing that energy in his eyes. The excitement that made him join the team. He had told Spencer it was originally he missed Melissa. But now, Spencer was second guessing that.

Things had slowly changed with Derek, so small that Spencer didn’t even notice fully. But if you looked at all the reasons why he changed, it could be tied back to Melissa.

Good riddance. Spencer thought to himself. In ordinary situations, he would hate to think that, but today he didn’t; as he heard Derek’s soft, low chuckle. He didn’t want to ever stop see Derek being himself. He wouldn’t stop him from anything, he knew he wouldn’t. All he would want to do is care about him, kiss him, fall asleep in his arms, have a nice dinner with him- things a real boyfriend would do.

He would let Derek be himself, he wouldn’t stop him from working, he wouldn’t want to fight, he wouldn’t want to play games, and god knows he wouldn’t stop Derek and Garcia flirting. That’s what kept them happy, together, and secure.

“I’m sorry you guys broke up, but if it’s any consolation. You belong with someone better.” Spencer admitted, not adding on the last part he always wanted to say. If he could say it, lord knows he would. But he couldn’t tell Derek they belonged together. He sounded insane.

Derek softy bumped shoulders with him in an act of thanks, “Thank you. Now c’mon, let’s go get you some real breakfast, pretty boy.” He said as he stood up, the blush immediately rushed back into Spencer’s face. God, that name would be the death of him. He was seriously going to die like this.

“You still got my change? ‘Cause you’re paying.” Derek joked with him as he turned to pull on his coat, “It’s your money, why don’t I give it back to you?” Spencer asked him, the conversation now changing to a much lighter tone. Derek shrugged, “You paying a cashier will help your people skills. Now c’mon, I saw a good restaurant with outdoor seating that’s by a garden. You can give me plant facts while we eat.”

“...Oh, I remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night. I’m the one who makes you laugh when you know you’re ‘bout to cry. And I know your favorite songs and you tell me ‘bout your dreams. Think I know where you belong, think I know it’s with me...”

Derek’s growing love for Spencer Reid was so slow he didn’t realize it until it was bursting out of his chest. It wasn’t obvious, it wasn’t, at least not to Derek. But suddenly it was everything Spencer did, it had his attention and captivated his thoughts. If Spencer was rambling about something, Derek would listen. Even if he didn’t care, even if he was tired, or hungry, or even mad.

To put it simply, it was every single thing that Spencer had ever done for him, suddenly making Derek feel something. It was every little funny thing Spencer did, it was every factoid he spat out to the team at the round table, it was how he was there for everyone in less than a second if needed, it was how Spencer complained about modern television, it was how Spencer grumbled in his sleep when they had to wake him up to get off the team’s jet after a long case. It was everything.

Every one of those instances just made something inside Derek squirm. Before, when Derek was dating Melissa- he was able to hold that feeling at bay. But it had now been months since his and Melissa’s breakup, and he had nothing to stop his mind from thinking about Reid, so the feelings and thoughts about the genius only grew stronger.

He thought about him nonstop. About how Reid was precious, amazing, handsome, smart, and god- he was borderline perfect. And what had originally started as a small inkling feeling inside of him was growing, growing into something almost unmanageable. It took everything in Derek not to just lean over and grab the genius’ hand as he was waving it around when speaking about something he was passionate about, and holding it tightly.

It was getting worse, day by day it was hell at work. But it was the best suffering in the world. Seeing Spencer sat at his desk, deep in thought as he typed reports out, along with emailing scientists and doctors on the side. God, Reid was an absolute genius. Morgan wasn’t sure if he could easily get over that fact anymore as he used to. Now Spencer’s smarts had more meaning, and he wasn’t sure why.

Spencer’s smarts always mattered, and definitely came in handy for the team, saving their asses more than once. But now, his IQ level was something Derek caught himself almost worrying about.

Spencer wouldn’t ever say it, but what if he thought Derek was stupid? The brawn to his brain. Nothing more than a dude to tackle the bad guys and handcuff them down. What if Spencer thought he wasn’t a good person, a good friend?

Now, along with the growing admiration, he also had growing fear. Derek was now going back and forth between doubting himself and wanting nothing more than pulling Spencer into a janitors closet and kissing him until they needed air.

Yeah, Derek was screwed. Work was painful. But he wouldn’t stop, he couldn’t. Even if he wanted to, he kept going along, because every day he saw Reid that feeling inside him only grew, and he didn’t have the willpower to stop it, and even if he did- he probably couldn’t. This was the strongest he had ever felt in a long time. It would take an army to stop how he felt (and even then, he might still beat the army).

The night it all went down wasn’t what derek intended it to be, he was pretty much planning on hiding his crush on reid to the grave, not admitting it to anyone ever about how he felt. Because as Derek saw it, Spencer was too smart for him. Definitely out of his league.

Because in Morgan’s mind, how dumb could he be? He had been slowly falling in love with his best friend, all while not even realizing it- and dating someone who was absolutely horrid during that entire process. It was enough to make him smack his head against his wall.

Derek was working late the night it happened, going over this same dilemma in his head as he finished up the last of his reports to turn over to Hotch.

Nothing was happening in the bullpen, and for the first time in forever, Spencer had left before the work day ended. He had been complaining of a stomachache, and Rossi had smartly deduced he was sick, and even though Reid didn’t want to leave- the team all but kicked him out the door, telling him he wasn’t any good working when feeling like vomiting.

Derek had missed him since he left, he felt stupid admitting that, but it was the plain and simple truth. His days were just better with Reid, and there was no other explanation than that. As stupid as it was, Derek had come to agree with that fact a while ago, and now it was just normal, him missing Reid. But thankfully Reid didn’t leave often enough for it to be bad.

That being said, Derek still worried. Deciding to call Reid, it was only 7 p.m., after all. Surely Reid was still awake.

His cell phone ringed as Derek held it up to his ear, twirling his pen absentmindedly between his index and pointer finger as he waited for Spencer to answer.

And he did, he sounded groggy, but he answered; “Hello?” “Hey, Reid.” Derek spoke, a small stupid smile creeping its way into his face. “How are you feeling?” He asked, he heard Spencer shuffling on the other end of the line, then the faucet running.

“I’m okay... just really dizzy now, so I got myself some water.” “Did you eat enough today?” Derek asked him, changing tones from a concerned friend to something more.

“Yes, I did. You don’t need to worry about my eating.” Reid said simply, he wasn’t the type of guy who liked being watched over. Derek understood why, but this was still necessary.

“Reid, c’mon now. When was the last time you ate?”

“11:23 a.m., Garcia gave me a muffin.” Spencer admitted after a beat of silence, “Reid, you’ve been not eating for almost eight hours- no wonder you felt so sick, man!” Derek said into the phone as he stood up, shrugging his jacket onto his shoulders, deciding to leave now. The reports were almost done, anyway.

“Well, I’m not hungry so it’s fine..” Reid argued weakly in response, “Oh no, no. Don’t even, Spencer. I’m getting you food and taking it to your place. Now go lay down and take some tylenol, drink that water you got.”

Spencer huffed weakly, but made no move to argue or protest Morgan inviting himself over. “Fine. Please get me chicken noodle soup.”

As agreed, Derek got Spencer some chicken noodle soup from a great nearby deli Spencer had told him about a while ago. Derek was proud of himself for this choice in food, even if Spencer had requested soup, he hadn’t requested where. And Derek felt smart for remembering one of Spencer’s favorite places.

Derek arrived to Spencer’s apartment, the door was left unlocked so he came in, carrying the container of soup in both of his hands, so he pushed the front door shut gently with his foot.

“Hey, Reid. I’m here,” he called out into the apartment, as he made his way to the bedroom, finding a sleeping Spencer on the bed, covered in a few miscellaneous blankets to keep him warm.

Derek sat the container of soup onto the nearby bedside table, next to spencer’s near empty water glass, before looking down at reid.

Spencer was perfect, regardless if he was awake or asleep. But asleep he was so peaceful, so calm. Derek could so easily keep Spencer safe from everything in his sleep, hold him in his arms and help ground him. He knew Spencer got nightmares, everyone on the team did. But he knew if he was there, he could help, he could make it better.

Spencer was breathing softly, his face looked slightly flushed, and his hair was all over the place, some strands had fallen onto his face directly, which Derek gently pushed out of the way to get a better look at Spencer.

“Mmm..” Spencer mumbled in his sleep, a response to Derek touching him, Derek took a sharp breath in. God, he wanted to just tell Spencer right now he felt, he so badly did. And Spencer was asleep, what was stopping him? He could say it and Spencer wouldn’t remember. Because unlike conscious Spencer, unconscious Spencer didn’t remember things.

So before his brain could catch up to his body, he did. “I love you.” He told Spencer softly, it was barely above a whisper. It was so quiet he was sure Spencer didn’t hear it at all, but it was just Derek’s unfortunate luck that Spencer started to stir.

“Hm?” He asked, sitting up slowly, Derek pulled his hand away from where he had tucked the strand of hair away.

“I said, I brought you soup.” Derek lied easily, hoping that “I love you” and “I brought you soup” were interchangeable sounding sentences. Spencer just nodded, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes slowly as he turned to look at the container on his bedside table

He didn’t suspect anything, Derek let a breath of relief out internally as Spencer reached for the container. “It didn’t come with a spoon, so I’ll go get you one.” Derek told him, getting up to go back into Spencer’s kitchen and grab a spoon from the silverware drawer.

When Derek came back, Spencer was more awake, holding the container of soup in his hands expectantly as he waited. Derek handed him the spoon wordlessly, before sitting down on the bed next to Spencer. “How are you feeling?” Derek asked him, as Spencer hadn’t tried out the soup yet (he was waiting for it to cool a bit more.) “Tired- sorry I left, by the way.” Reid responded slowly, he still felt the tiniest bit groggy.

Derek shook his head, “No Reid, don’t apologize. Are you feeling any better?” Spencer nodded slowly in response, starting to stir the soup to help it cool down. Derek watched him, the soft light from the only lamp on in the room casted off shadows throughout the walls and onto Spencer. He looked beautiful, even if he was wearing pajamas and his hair was messy and he was stirring his soup while half awake.

To Derek, he looked perfect. And once again, Derek’s body moved too fast for his brain to catch up with. He was suddenly talking; “Reid, can I tell you something?” He asked the tired genius, who just nodded and gave an “Mhm” sound in return as he continued to stir his soup.

Derek breathed in, he couldn’t go back. It was now or never. He turned to face Spencer, and if he hated him after this, so be it.

“I was an idiot, Spencer. When I was with Melissa, searching for a good moment to stay happy about was rare. But the entire time I’ve known you, everything’s been a good moment. Every opportunity I’ve had with you has let me grow and become smarter, and a better person..” he took a second to look back at Spencer, who was now looking at him with an expression he couldn’t read.

“But I’ve still been stupid. Because the entire time I was with her, I only looked forward to being with you. I missed the best thing right in front of me, and I hope you know that I am not normally this dense... but..” this was the hardest part of his whole speech, how the fuck was he supposed to admit something like this?

“But,” he started again, “I like you, Reid. I really like you. This entire time I was chasing the wrong person and following dead leads, like a rookie on a new case. But I realize the only person that makes me feel anything is you- and... I think, I- no. I am. I am falling for you. And I don’t even know if you like guys but-“ It was by this point Spencer put his soup down back on his bedside table, the soft sound shut Derek up easily.

“You’re falling for me?” Spencer asked, just simply clarifying what he had said. Morgan nodded, standing by it. “Yes. I am.”

Spencer breathed out a sigh of relief, something Derek hadn’t expected him to do. “You aren’t stupid... I- um. I’ve been falling for you too.”

That made Derek light up instantly, “You have?” Spencer nodded sheepishly, staring down at his fingernails instead of Derek. “I wasn’t expecting you to...” Spencer mumbled, as if that was a sufficient enough explanation on his part on why he was relieved and surprised.

“It just snuck up on me. I can’t get you out of my head, you’re all I want.” Derek admitted, more brashly than he would’ve liked to phrased things. But that didn’t seem to bother Spencer at all, as he started to lean forward slowly, Derek leaned forward too, reaching up to put his hand on the side of Spencer’s face to help him stay steady. Their lips were inches apart, but Spencer spoke. “Derek, I want to kiss you so bad. But if I’m sick I don’t want to risk infecting you-“

“Pretty boy, I’m breathing your air already. And I don’t think you have the flu, just low blood sugar.” Derek told him, which quickly shushed Reid up. They leaned forward more, and all the feelings of angst and dread that had built up between the two disintegrated as their lips touched slowly.

It was a soft kiss, a chaste one. But there definitely was passion behind it. Morgan stayed close to Spencer, resting his forehead against his.

“I belong with you...” Derek mumbled, he didn’t care if Spencer heard it anymore. He should hear it, he deserved to hear it. He deserved to know he was the only one Derek wanted.

Spencer pulled back, a small smile playing on his lips the entire time. “I can’t believe it...” he mumbled to Derek after a moment. “You should. You said it yourself, I belong with someone better. And it’s you. I just hope you agree.” Derek told him honestly, not leaving anything he said to chance. Spencer nodded, “Yes- you belong with me. Absolutely, yes. I agree.”

Derek smiled, pushing a loose strand of hair back behind spencer’s ear, before leaning forward and planting a soft kiss on Spencer’s forehead. “You eat that soup, I’ll go get you some more water.”

———————————————————————

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tbhwhocaresanymore · 3 years

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Nancy Drew 2x4

You know what Odette Lamar really said “FUCK justice I choose to kill the very nosy teenagers” and that is honestly so valid of her

Also was it just me or was that product placement at the beginning with the water bottle so jarring like please never do that again

God I knew from the fucking getgo that the dybbuk box would not work on the Aglaeca, and I was thinking it would break but I was expecting the Aglaeca to break out, I didn’t think she’d just go ahead and blow it up. That being said the whole thing with the sand being what can hurt her was honestly pretty ingenious, and I am officially counting down the hours until the next episode. Yeah I said hours

Also they have all written obituaries? GUYS. You still have like 24 whole hours left this is not the time for quitting. And I cannot believe the writers really brought Lisbeth back just to do her dirty like that, like I was not the biggest fan of their relationship but my GOD what a way to end things. The entire time I was screaming at Bess “go into the restaurant!” and then she DIDN’T. Like no Bess you’re not a coward but I’m still going to shake you. You straight up ghosted (ha) your gf in front of her parents. She deserved better.

Speaking of people whom I kind of want to shake: how is that Aristotle guy Hannah’s assistant? Also who is he? He can’t be not important with a name like Aristotle. I’m betting he killed or kills somebody and will be a big bad at some point, or at least a minor villain. He will be some form of bad is my point, and let the record show I called it first.

I had two favorite parts this episode, and they relate to each other so let’s see what they were shall we?

One of them, no surprise, the Ace and Carson and Ryan road trip. I was about to die. Carson is a bear and Ryan just cannot or will not stop poking him in the eye with a very short stick, and Ace is the wilderness survival guard waving a sign that says “PUT DOWN THE STICK.” And then their little bonding ‘how to be a father’ moment at the gas station was the definition of precious. Carson saying no, he really had no idea Ryan was the father and was trying to honor Lucy, teaching him how to talk to Nancy. Ryan’s character growth is going to be hard-earned and well-won and I cannot wait to see the kind of man he turns into. We caught a glimpse of it, when he was with Nancy after. Admitting he would’ve had no idea what to do with her as a kid and that he still has no idea what to do now? Figuring out the music puzzle, when he was so proud to be able to keep up with his genius daughter who takes after her mother, and so proud of Nancy. And her admitting she had a “mild interest” in having a relationship with him? Tears.

My other favorite part comes as a direct result of Ryan helping Nancy. One of the perks of this show will always be when Amateur Sleuth Nancy DrewTM really just gets to unleash her truly unrivaled brain power for the purposes of solving a mystery. Memorizing the letters, working out the cipher, going to the church, then the confession box, finding the letters and the necklace. My girl cannot be beaten.

Also I cannot believe they made Odette like six times more tragic by making her gay and having her be torn away from her lady love like what gave them the right. And shoutout to Agnes Marvin, who in the late 1700s, had everything to lose and nothing to gain by attempting to go against her very powerful husband and get justice for a dead woman. Hermione Lodge could never

As far as George and Nick go, it is no secret I do not typically see a whole lot of chemistry from them. I am normally able to overlook it in favor of commenting on the good writing. HOWEVER. This episode changed all that. Their talk at the end, George stressing about Jessie and Nick reassuring her, and him needing George to know that somebody loves her? Sweetest moment yet we’ve seen this season, possibly one of the sweetest in the show so far.

That scene at the end? With the box and Aglaeca? Oooooooh Lordy. I was wound tighter than a two dollar watch, I had the volume unreasonably high, the lights were off, my nerves were frayed, I was set. AND I WAS NOT DISAPPOINTED. The Aglaeca slowly rising out of the sea as she recognizes the necklace, reaching for it, her hand changing, seeing her true reflection in the mirror. And then like overcoming the ghostly temptation and being furious. Nancy making an appeal directly to Odette, bypassing the Aglaeca. THE AGLAECA BLOWING UP THE VERY EXPENSIVE DYBBUK BOX. No shit you guys I cannot believe she just exploded a multimillion dollar historical treasure. AND THEN THE SAND TURNED INTO SEAWEED AND STARTED TO CHOKE HER AND SHE FELL BACK BENEATH THE WAVES. “And if we can hurt her...” “Maybe we can kill her.” BRUH

This episode did everything a penultimate season finale (as it was intended to be) is supposed to do, I can only IMAGINE how next week will deliver.

And now, because I am me, and I have read the books: Time for DREWSON. God that scene after George kind of yells at Nancy, where Nick talks about how he likes to learn how things work. Nancy realizes this is, again, something about Nick she had no idea existed, he reminds her she never asked. You know what I want? PINING. Not on Nick’s behalf, he just confessed his love to George and all that. I want to see NANCY pining. Because the fact that their relationship did not work out was a mutual thing, but Nancy was the driving force. I want Nancy to (as they become friends) fall deeper and deeper in love with him, and know that she lost him and can’t get him back, and very bitterly regret it. I want her to suffer in silence for like at least a good ten episodes before anyone even notices.

Well only six days twenty hours and twenty-five minutes left, see you next week for 2x5, The Drowned Woman.

Oh and one last thing before I go.

WRITERS

WHERE THE FUCK IS LUCY SABLE

#Nancy Drew cw #Nancy Drew #Bess Marvin #George Fan #Ned Nick Nickerson #Ned Nickerson #Ace #nick x nancy #drewson #Carson Drew #Ryan Hudson #the Aglaeca #dead lucy #Lucy Sable #writers where is dead lucy #the fate of the buried treasure

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tellywoodtrash · 3 years

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immj2 05 + 07.12.20 lbs

05.12.20

“tum saari property mere naam karoge.”

BITCH WHAT NOW???????????

V like dadiiiiiiiiiii ko dhokaaaaaaaa?!!!!?!?!?! oh ho, lagta hai pair chhoote chhoote V ko asli waale feels aa gaye dadi ke liye, free of charge!

THIS MAN AND HIS FACE NEED TO BE STOPPED SO HELP ME GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

also what else that tongue do (other than throw constant taane to guilt a bitch) baby boy mmmmmmmhmmmmmmm 😏😏😏

riddhima thinking ki property meaning khatra and she can’t allow it to stay on dadi, she has to take it on herself, so that if kabir tries hurting anyone, it’ll be her.

this one’s paar ki nazar has recognized that train of thought, i think.

she’s like think whatever you want idgaf, just do whatever the fuck i say or else. and don’t even think of charging me an extra paisa. jaake bhaanda phodna hai toh phod lo, phir you won’t get your remaining 4.5 cr. DAMN GIRL, WHERE THIS SHAATIR TAKE-CHARGE SIDE OF YOURS BEEN ALL THIS TIME???????/

hubs thinking same thing. he’s never been more turned on by her as when she’s using maximum brain.

“kya hai?????? aise taad kyun rahe ho?????????”

“taadna ekdum free of cost hai. only for your pretty face!” I HATE HIM.

LOVE THIS TROPE. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE.

face change from smiley eyes to shaatir eyes, as he contemplates the facts before him. unf, the things it does to me to see him emote.

lijiye, iss show ke Idiot Brothers. and their plans to prove it’s not vansh and to get riddhima thrown out. i’ll pass.

but this one’s face tho. cutest.

same, aryan. mera bhi yehiiiii reaction hai. taareeef karoon kya uskiiiii, jissne, tumhe banaaya!

some rando has come and is like hi, i’m your new lawyer; your old one appointed me before he left. no doubt he’s been sent by kabir.

V’s face: chutiya samajh rakha hai kya???? that’s not how this shit works.

v is like you’re here about my will and lmao riddhima’s all happy thinking oh vihaan has started my work already. SIS TILL NOW WHAT HAS HE DONE ACC TO YOUR PLAN? TELL ME ONE (1) THING THAT HE’S DONE LIKE YOU SAID.

yadda yadda yadda lawyer is like the property cannot be transferred for a few months. because Reasons. sure. sounds legit.

kabir is ecstatic. needs to learn to hide his MWAHAHAHAHAHA MERA CHAAL KAAM KAR GAYA FACE better if he wants to win at this game. he’s up against poker face all india/tellywood champion.

fb to kabir bribe/threatening lawyer. zero surprise.

V telling dadi idc about all this, meri asli daulat toh aap hai. lmao he really just does not give the other grandkids a chance to be #1 in dadi’s books.

ishani is pakka sure this is vansh bhai itselfffffffffff. and lmao angre’s suspicious face. they’re legit like:

V trying to negotiate salary increase (10% per month!!!!!!!!) and riddhima’s like bhakkkkkkk, sabzi mandi laga rakhi hai kya maine? yeh faltu ki bargaining nahi chalegi yahaan, jo karna hai karlo.

ishani’s back with bhai’s favvvvvvvvv chocolate cake and.... OH NO HE WAS SO FUCKING RUDE TO HERRRRRRRRRRRRR. riddhima ko sabak sikhaane ke liye ishani ko kyun sunaaaa rahe hoooo!?!?!?!!?

anyway riddhima tried to sametofy that raita by apologizing to ishani and.......... that went as well as expected.

kabir and aryan watching and lootofying mazze.

lmaooooo aryan tubelight ko situation samajh hi nahi aaya and kabir is just like

lmao have you seen a more pitying look????

angsty piano playing time.

lmaooooooooo she’s like “jahaan vansh banna tha, wahaan bann nahi paaye, yahaan yeh karke kya kya fayyda hai?” which......... troo. i really like this give-no-fucks version of riddhima who says what’s on her mind, instead of just doing lengthy internal monologues of stupidity.

as,kjdlkasjd;lksjd;lkjsa;ldkjsa;lk she’s like vansh never yelled at anyone if it wasn’t a big deal. to which V is reacting just the way i am rn.......

‘lmao reallllllllly??? i don’t remember it like that.’

more lecture and yeah, i relate to him.

ishani over here crying to angre about bachpan se leke aaj tak vansh bhai ne kabhi nahi daanta. which again i’m like?????????? i have literally only seen V1.0 yelling at ishani for some bs or the other. literally never has he shown her any pyaar; the most he’s ever mellowed at her was when he gruffly told her sunny’s “truth” and made her understand that the wedding with angre would be good for her. nostalgia comes with some reallllll rose tinted glasses huh, ki everyone’s whitewashing asshole!vansh this way.

soft ship gently chugging along!

anyway angre has a plan and ishani like so help me god imma murder this fucker if he’s not vansh. there’s my girl!!!!!

this one is driving a hardddddddd bargain and wow, really going to town on that piano. riddhima doesn’t find it shady at allllllllllllllllll that he’s an equally good piano player as vansh huh? zerooooo thoughts about that.

“gunaah karne waale se bada gunehgaar hota hai gunaah sehne waala.” bhai waaah, isske victim complex ko mera salaam, ki bechaara is ONLY GETTING 5 CRORES, BOOOOOO HOOOOO.

“jabse tumse yeh deal kii haina, badi gandiiiii waali feeling aa rahi hai!” lmaoooooo yeah sureee, i can see how torturous it is, to be paid OBSCENELY to......... play yourself.

“mujhe teen guna chahiye. i want triple.”

BITCH WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF 3X SLKJDFSLKJFLDK 15 CRORES I KNOW TERA HI PAISA HAI BUT HADH HAI BHAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII?!?!? YOU SOUNDING A LOT LIKE THIS GUY:

oh boy ishani and angre have entered hearing about “triple”.

badi safaai se he said OH I MEANT IMMA BAKE A TRIPLE LAYER CHOCOLATE CAKE FOR YOU TO SAY SORRY.

softttttttttttttttttttt siblingssssssss. baaaaabies.

but hubs and wifey have come with some stress relief for bhai, lol.

lmao riddhima’s reactionnnnnnnnn.

lo ji yeh bhi aa gaya rang mein bhang daalne. wants to make things interesting via bet. some realllllll high stakes shit. good lord, don’t be gross and bet riddhima or something, maharabharat style.

aaaaaand it’s on!

no point screaming in your mind, riddhima. should have sent him to basketball camp before you recruited him.

"bohut mazaa aayega!!!!” lmaooooooo seeeeee, i told y’all. all this big baby legit wants is someone to playyy with himmmmm. have you ever seen him look THISSSSS HAPPY EVERRRRRR??????????

———————————————————————

07.12.20

lmao @ his purposely bad dribbling.

stressing Dollar Biwi out some more by saying he hasn’t even watched the game on tv.

unffffff. Chehra Appreciation Break. these go out to my girl @nawaazishein (she knows exaaaaaaaactly why.)

riddhima is like when you pick teams, pick me, and kabir is here to talk smack and say everyone’s gonna find outtttttt nowwww.

ok great, whole fam’s here. there’s a chalkboard set up for the score and everythinggggg. coz as per usual, no one else has nothing else to do. not even catch up on their podcasts or play some candy crush or nothing. they just wanna watch these two grownass men having a pissing contest.

V wins the toss but aryan’s bitch ass lies and says kabir won it. K selects riddhima first.

he knew that kabir’s dumb ass would do exactly that. besides, he’s seen riddhima play. she sucks ass at it. best if she brings down K’s team from the inside, lol.

V’s picks: useless!chacha, angre. K’s pick: aryan. rules established, ki after every 10 points, rival team se player will be out.

all i can think of rn is that everyone went and changed and riddhima’s gonna play in her sari and heels?!?!?!?!!!?!?

game faces on!

lol such bball captain and his gf head cheerleader vibes. CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh god are we supposed to sit and listen to chachi’s commentary?!?!!?!?

please note i’m literally only watching this ep to see the boys’ shirts move and expose chest and abs.

riddhima gets the ball and is standing there in one place dribbling so that V can easily intercept and he’s just..........

............. imitating a frilled dragon or some shit?????

kabir just took the ball from her and scored.

first basket he made and he’s already telling vansh to give up. dude, hadh hoti hai overconfidence ki.

V like haar-jeet ka faisla end mein hota hai. i would say i’ve already won, getting to see this much sweaty neck and chest, mmmmhmmmmmm.

SCOREEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! i mean, yeah V scored a point in the game or whateverrrrrrrr, BUT **I** GOT TO SEE SOME TUMMY WHEN HE JUMPED UP!!!!!

lol idk what the sassy finger wave was for, but i liked watching it.

THIS DUMBASS. SOMEONE PLEASE JUST PUT HER OUT OF HER MISERY.

aryan’s out.

AND I SCORE AGAIN!!!!! ouff, the things i have to resort to coz they don’t gimme tellywood men shirtless anymore.

useless!chacha’s out.

askljdlkjlkdjlsakjdlsakjdlsdjlaskjdlj bechaara kabir.

“you. out, please!”

sureeeeeely he will not pull the kkhh move in front of the whole fam??????/ will he?????????

look at his face, ki awwwwww, how cute that she’s trying.

riddhima is so stupid, if she scored all these points, why didn’t she pick V to leave the game instead of angre!?!?!?!!?!?

BITCH DID THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“isski har harkat vansh se kyun milti hai?????” idk sis, take a wiiiiiiiiiild guess. if it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck........... MAYBE THE FUCKING 6 FOOT 2″ DUCK LOOMING IN FRONT OF YOU AND RUNNING HIS HANDS ALL OVER YOU IS YOUR FUCKING HUSBAND??????

the way he’s smiling is practically challenging her to figure it out.

she’s still like nope, not him. just a coincidence. while she mulls on that brain fart, imma stare at rrahul’s chest some more.

of course.

YOUR WHOLEASS FAMILY IS STANDING THERE WATCHING THIS OMG I’M DYING OF SECONDHAND EMBARRASSMENTTTTTTTT FUCKING TAKE IT TO YOUR ROOM YOU WEIRDOS

“yeh bonus hai. free of charge. just for your pretty face!”

this dumbass is also hung up ki how overnight he became good at playing basketball. abbe oh gobar ganesh why can’t you just accept it’s him?!!?!?!?

aryan’s like dude, it’s him. i’ve seen him play. this is him.

but there must be somethinggggggg unique about vansh’s style right????

ahaaaa, ambidextrous.

kabir legit threw something like that looks like a clown’s nose. i guess he just carries that around full time coz he’s a 🤡🤡🤡

blah blah we already knew this from the precap. i’m just fwding to when he plays with the left and wins.

lmao V’s faaaaaaaaace. when kabir finally gets his day of reckoning, vansh is really nottttttt gonna hold back.

never seen ppl THIS happy to see a left handed person, lol.

“vihaan vansh ki tarah left hand se khel sakta hai??????”

CUTESTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lmaoooooooooo his face is like jo toota nahi tha, woh bhi tod ke rakh degi.

lolllllllllllllllllllllllllllll. asshole.

uh huh honeyyyyyyyyy. did the Vansh Move.

asking how you did all this when i never told you these facts about vansh?

“tum zaroorat se zyaada sochti ho, Sweetheart.”

DUN DUN DUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“kya aisa humne pehle kabhi nahi kiya? kya yeh pal humaari zindagi mein kabhi bhi nahi aaya, riddhima?” he said her name The Vansh Way, not The Vihaan Way!!!!!!!

“tum mere......”

“haan riddhima, yeh tumhara veham nahi hai. main vihaan nahi, vansh hoon. tumhara vansh.”

haaaaaaye bechaari. at this point i’m feeling quite bad for her. it’s not her fault she’s so stupid. ab hai toh hai. kya kar sakte hain. bedagarkkkkkk ho tera, vansh. may you die of blue balls for fucking with her simple mind this way.

i just did my homework reallllllllllly well, it seems. so my 3x payment is totally worth it. god i wish that pool was full, so that i could dunk his head into it and hold it there for a few minutes.

THIS ASSHOLE DOESN’T EVEN FEEL A LITTLE BIT BAD FOR WHAT HE’S DOING. LIKE, THODAAAA TOH HE SHOULD FEEL.

and then he turns around and looks at her like this!?!?!?!!?!?!? OUFFFF. FUCK YOU MANNNNNN.

blah blah talk about how now everyone must be convinced (except kabir) but yeah, i’m just here for The Face.

JFC SIS. AT THIS POINT YOU JUST NEED TO PULL A KHUSHI KUMARI GUPTA SINGH RAIZADA AND YANK A FEW HAIRS OUT FROM HIM AND ISHANI AND SEND IT FOR A DNA TEST.

shhhhhhhhhh, koi hai. yup. and not at all an excuse to get touchy touchy with wifey and give her some more mindfucky clues as to who you are.

someone’s watching us, we gotta sort out the property shit realllll quickkkkkkkkk.

he has An Idea, it seems. oh boy.

#ishq mein marjawan 2 #immj2 #immj2 lbs #episode liveblogs

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cartoonfangirl1218 · 3 years

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Riverdale should have been a Disney show

Riverdale should have been a Disney show. There I said it. I'll admit the first season was fine Great even. Self-contained with an intriguing mystery and you waited at the edge of your seat for what will happen next. But then... Part of the problem for me is because I've read the original comics since I was a girl. I still do get some from my mom, and the way they have changed the characters just bug me.Betty used to be the girl next door, always hopeful, smart, trying to figure out the mystery. And it was perfect that she was a reporter because Betty was always someone who valued honesty so her being the roving reporter was perfect. And her taking pills for anxiety or some sort of disorder was also a nice take because she does take on so much, and tries so hard to help and be good and nice and perfect. All the stress. Archie was also great in the first season. A bit horny, but he means well, and he truly is an average American boy so his big trouble of choosing between music and football. He's a klutz and sometimes his plans go sideways but he means well, he's all for family and Riverdale and school spirit. None of this whole Red Hood/semi mafia/wrestling nonsense. I actually really liked their take on Veronica, she still a bit materialistic and thinks she can depend on her wealth to get her out of trouble but I do like their take on trying to be enterneauripal and working to act less high class society girl as she was used to.

Jughead, I'm conflicted with. Because he's good I guess as a brooding, investigative journalist he's good. It fits the setting of the show. But I do have a soft spot for him as the sane man to Archie. Going about his business, surprisingly philosophical. And you can't forget the most important attribute to him. His love of food! I miss that. Like the one scene in season 1, I forget what exactly but basically he ordered burgers and when Cole Sprouse just protectively held the burger to him...such a nice touch. That sort of guy I can see as a DCOM. The genius ditz I guess it's called. But he's not dumb. He just prefers napping to being awake.

Now the others...omg.I have a bone to pick when it comes to the other characters in Riverdale. Josie and the Pussycats-- they are such lively musicians who solve crimes, sometimes in space. ABsolutely wasted here. Melody barely had any lines. And they didn't have Alex or Alexandra Cabot which was such a shame. I know, I know they're in the new Katy Keene show but having them be step-siblings who used to date is wrong and weird and bad and no! Stop having the twins in these shows with vaguly incesteous feelings. It's weird!

Kevin Keller, all his storylines revolve around his bfs or lack of bfs or how much he wants a bf. The Kevin of Archie comics was so much more well-rounded. He was head of ROTC, he was class president, he ran marathons, he was Veronica's bff, he was a reporter. He had an appetite to match Jughead's. He even had a brief crush on Jughead! He was so much better than this sham. He was confident in who he was and did his best to help others feel good about themselves too because he knows not everyone is lucky to come out as LGTBQ in a supportive environment.

Reggie. I think not giving him enough of an arc in season 1 really backfired because if he appears, it's only as Veronica's arm candy. Which is a shame because he is a good contrast to Archie. A bit richer yet a cheapskate. Thinks he's a casanova, loves being the class prankster. A modern day politician with his sweet words when all he cares about himself. Basically like

Yet he has his hidden depths with his neglectful workaholic parents and jealousy of Archie's popularity. Cheryl. Omg Cheryl. They have ruined you here. I'm sorry, I do NOT find any of her lines iconic. It's like she swallowed urban dictionary and a gothic novel and came out all jumbled in a google translate. She may be abused but the way she still treats others like shit and gaslights her gf and makes everything about her is just...ugh!!! OMg, comics Cheryl is actually fun and iconic. She's as rich and pretty as Veronica and unafraid to use it. She wants to be a star like a modern day influencer. She's a red-haired Sharpay Evans basically.

Also Jason, her twin whom they sadly killed off. He was also fun like a meaner, snobbier version of Reggie. But with a huge crush on Betty which I think could have been used to milk such drama.

Polly also got hit badly. She was a good older sister. She was a reporter, and inspired Betty's enviormental-feminist activities. A sane person. Not a cult worshipping cuckoo. Toni Topaz, ah she was so good in season 2 and then they made her Cheryl's arm candy. Alas. I liked her as a friend to Jughead. In the comics, she was his equal in food contests. That's no small feat. She was cool, and joined Betty's band and... she was her own person. Remember when Toni used to be a photographer for the South Side paper. Yeah. Basically Toni as a 3d character with personality. Please return.

Dilton. Oh Dilton. Once the smartest person in the Archie universe and they turned you into a survival freak to get killed by the gargoyle king. Or whomever. I just remember he got killed somehow. Honestly, they should have stuck to smart Dilton. They need a smart scientist there, cuz no one is using their brains in Riverdale.

Chuck. They have done you SUCH A DISSERVICE! So so bad. Chuck was a good person! He was a cartoonist, and a basketball player and Archie's friend. (Yeah, that's right Archie has friends in the comics. Even though Riverdale makes some effort to show Archie and Jug's bond, they're mainly consorting with their gfs. In the comics, they had guy nights. Reggie, Chuck, Kevin, Dilton, Moose. Come on show. Friendships are just as important.) And what did they do, make him a lying scumbag, turn him good and then have him arrested because of what Cheryl did! No, no no. Bad writers. Just no. Ethel Muggs. You have also been wronged in season 3. Making her a crazy freak. Ethel in season 1 was nice. Ethel in the comics is nice. Plain but with a good heart even though she had a slightly obsessive crush on Jughead. Here, making her cult worshipper.... smdh. Okay at this point I know I sound like a bitter, bitter person complaining how it'S nOt liKE tHe cOmICs. But hey, I admit season 1 was good even if they changed the characters a bit. It’s just that I watched Riverdale because of the property it derived from. Because of the comics. At the least I expected some faithfulness to the characters. Not make them all so inconsistent and crazy.

It's just the writing is so inconsistent! The plots hop around and so do their moods. Bughead and Choni broke up for one episode and then they got right back together. Even though they had VALID reasons to break up. Nope. That made fans mad. So they had to get back together. Ugh. And Archie got attacked by a bear and was so traumatized that he broke up with Veronica because "he's changed" for like two episodes before forgetting about it and going back to Veronica. Oh which brings me to the ridiculous "love triangle" of Archie/Reggie/Veronica where she couldn't choose. Please, Archie and Veronica were reuniting and planning to go run away for a weekend together. Reggie was completely forgotten until he walked in on them. And Veronica couldn't decide because she loves them both? No, she didn't. She may have felt bad to tell Reggie but it's not because she loved him. Forgetting a guy so quickly...yeah great proof of love. Horniness maybe. But her indecisiveness makes her look bad. Don’t tease a will they, won’t they when the answer is so obvious. If you're going to do something like that, you should have there be something called CONSEQUENCES! They can get back together but at least wait. Wait 8 episodes at least so they can have character development. But who am I kidding. Character development is not the goal of this show. The character's just move because the writer's want them too not because it fits their personalities. Such as Archie's grieved reaction for baby Teeth in season 3.

Not only do I have no idea when (the ridiculously named) Baby Teeth appeared, much less why Archie or I should care about his death. But sometimes the show juggles too much. Too many characters. Too many plots. It's all so ugh!!! So my final thought on this is... Riverdale should have been a disney channel sitcom. Archie comics are about family friendly entertainment and sometimes imparted lessons... well so does Disney. I get the appeal of having Riverdale reach a new teen generation, but from what I can see the only big thing Riverdale on CW is that it allows alcohol and gartituous sex scenes.

Which is another small gripe of mine. I can handle sex scenes (hello Magic Mike XXL) but so many at such inappropriate moments too It's like that scene in an action movie where they suddenly kiss when they should be running for their lives. No teen is that horny all the time. Plus there's always less is more. If one kisses so much it loses the meaning. If you think your shirtless Archie is going to distract me from lack of plot haha. No. Plot and consistency still sucks and shirtless Archie does not make it better.

But Riverdale as a Disney show can work. After all the comic stories are a bit formulaic. It's all high school hijinks. And all the characters fit an archetype. Archie, the protagonist. Veronica, the fashionista. Betty, the reporter. Jughead, the slacker. Reggie, the class clown/bad friend. Cheryl, the Sharpay, Kevin, the sane one. And if people want a season long story arc with dramatics, Disney can actually handle it too. After all they had the mysterious "threat' lurking in the background of My babysitter's a vampire season 2. Or the Juliet and Mason saga of Wizards of Waverly Place. And if people want adult situations, look on to Jessie. Rewatching an episode now, there were so many adult jokes and references that flew over my head so they could sneak those in. Heck, Disney channel is infamous for all the innuendos they manage. And they handle consistency. Cody and Bailey broke up in Suite life on deck, they actually stayed broken up for a good half season. Gabe matured from a prankster tween to teen in love in Good Luck Charlie. Actions have consequences, characters grow. Storytelling 101

And the best part is they don't even have to think too hard for the plots of the week. They literally can build on stories from the comics. All 80 years of it. And I have put some examples right here from my own Archie comics. Like Veronica literally being the fashion police.

Veronica and Cheryl teaming up + rolling around in their money.

Cheryl changing the Cherry Blossom Festival to the Cheryl Blossom Festival

Archie doing his classic Valentine's Day mix up

Veronica and Betty buy Cheryl’s maid service when her father forces her to get a job.

Jughead and Trula (Jughead's nemesis & psychoanalyst in training) get amnesia and become friends.

A boy dares to change Veronica

Jughead falls in love with the lunch-lady

Betty and Veronica pretending to be distressed damsels to get Archie's attention (it backfires)

Toni and Jughead foil each other in a food eating contest.

Betty's cast causes more pain to other students

Reggie dates Cheryl (for real)

Reggie helps Kevin dress for the dance and his mystery date

Riverdale Shore.

Cabot vs Lodge

I think all this pretty much illustrates my point. Archie comics equals Disney sitcom all by itself.

#Anti Riverdale #my opinions #random musings #salty rant #archie comics

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pinkbubbles-and-bigtroubles · 4 years

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You Don’t Know Me

Not smut just some very soft oblivious Luke

You knew something was wrong. Luke didn't always text you back right away, but in the entire time you'd know him he'd never left you on read. You knew sometimes he was too busy to check his messages for hours, especially if he was on the road. You expected that, and never worried or got irritated if he didn't text you back, but that was before the disaster at Calum's party.

The weekend had been rough. Saturday night there had been a crazy party at Calum's house and everyone was getting wasted. You'd seen Luke show up with his girlfriend per fucking usual. You hated that it bothered you, after all they'd been together six months, Leila considered you a friend. You had tried to like her but the more you saw them together, the more it got under your skin. They argued constantly these past couple months, and lately you never saw Luke without her around. The party was no different, you'd barely gotten to talk to Luke for two minutes before she was dragging him away to hang out with her friends.

When they'd started arguing yet again something in you had snapped. You'd started downing tequila shots like you were trying to drown your emotions in liquor. The alcohol, instead of extinguishing the flames, just made them burn brighter. Sure enough you'd ended up in the upstairs bathroom tearfully confessing your deepest secrets to Calum when you weren't heaving your guts up.

Calum was sympathetic, rubbing your back and trying to calm you down. You claimed to love all the guys as if they were your brothers, and with Calum that was particularly true. He'd been the first to call you on your feelings months ago. Calum saw the connection you had with Luke and it was obvious it was more than just friends, but you tried to play it off. Luke only liked a certain type, tall and lean, and much hotter than you could ever hope to be.

Still, you were the one he came to when he and his girlfriend had problems. It was you he confessed his fears to late at night when he was homesick from being on the road. You were the one he sought advice from, and the person he trusted most. He was like a brother to you, or at least you pretended that was the case, until the Patron came right back up along with your feelings.

Luke came to check on you and Calum ran him off. You'd heard shouting between the two of them before they were separated. Calum came back to you followed by your friend Eva and the two of them got you home.

You crawled to your couch, not able to make it up the stairs to your bedroom, plus the bathroom was nearby. They got you set up with a towel, some water and Advil before Eva took Calum up to your room. Their moans were the last thing you heard before you passed out.

When you woke up you were in your bed in last night's clothes but on fresh sheets. Your phone was plugged in and charging next to a bottle of coconut water. Your throat felt like sandpaper so your chugged the bottle almost choking halfway through when Luke walked into your bedroom.

"What are you doing here?" You sputter trying to remember the previous night.

"Came to check on you." He sat down next to you on the bed sliding over so you're leaning against his chest. "You were wild last night, what got into you?"

"Tequila mostly," you groan, squeezing your eyes shut at the memory.

"I noticed." Luke sounded annoyed but when you looked at him, he smiled down at you. "You seemed upset about something, were you mad at me?"

Fear shot chills through your entire body as you remember why you'd started drinking. You had been angry with him, but it wasn't his fault. You were angry because you were jealous, horny and frustrated from denying your feelings for him. You were pissed at yourself for not being able to say anything, because you knew he didn't feel the same way. You were like a sister to him and you didn't want to destroy what you had.

"I can't remember anything except getting sick, I barely remember getting home," you lie, closing your eyes to avoid looking at him.

"Can you get me another water please?"

You could feel the tension in his body ease for a second as he gave you a little squeeze, "of course, do you want some food or anything else?"

Your stomach twisted at the thought and you shook your head, and you saw the tight expression return to his face. He was clearly annoyed by the whole situation, but dutifully returned with two bottles of coconut water, a Powerade, animal crackers and a banana.

"Wait where did that come from? Did you bring that all with you?" Your brain hurt trying to remember the last time you'd gone grocery shopping.

"Yeah, I thought you might need it. You probably should change, you good on that?" He blushed and busied himself arranging your snacks for you.

You realize you're still in your jumpsuit that zips up the back, worse the room is still swaying.

"Please," you manage to squeak out. "Can you grab my big purple t shirt and I have a pair a grey shorts in my second drawer."

He got your clothes and you put the shirt on over your head letting it rest on your shoulders as he stood you up. You wrapped your arms around him as he unzipped your suit and unclasped your bra. The feeling of his fingers grazing your bare back made you gasp, and you hoped he didn't notice. He pulled back and lowered the oversized shirt as your clothes fell to the floor. He sat you back on the bed and got your feet into your shorts and the two of you worked together to get them up your legs.

"Are you ok?" Luke suddenly looked concerned.

"I'm gonna be sick, I'm sorry," you whispered.

He carried you to the little bathroom connected to your bedroom and held you as you heaved and coughed. You could hear him muttering to himself behind you.

"I'm gonna kill Calum for letting it get this far. He shouldn't have let you drink that much."

"Hey," you protested weakly, "it's not Calum's fault I'm an idiot. He shouldn't have to babysit me. I can handle myself."

"That is obviously not true, look what happened," he scoffed. "Come on, let's get you back to bed."

"Well we can't all have hot girlfriends, that we're constantly fighting with," you complained as he got you settled in comfortably.

"If I didn't know better I'd think you were jealous," he teased. "I thought you two were friends."

"Uh we are, it's just that you two have kind of been fighting a lot lately." You tried to walk it back.

"Don't," he sighed, clearly annoyed again. "Last night we were arguing about you so you weren't the only one pretending. Why can't people just be honest?"

"Was that a dig at me?" You pout at him, getting irritated yourself.

"A little bit, I heard some of what you said to Calum. It sounded pretty serious, but you refused to talk to me. I had to leave because Calum was getting super aggressive, and wouldn't let me see you. He wouldn't let anyone near you actually, except Eva. What the hell was that all about?" Luke's jaw was clenched tight and he was scrolling through Netflix on your bedroom TV, refusing to look at you.

"I don't know why Calum was acting like that," you told himand he shook his head. "Maybe I feel like hot garbage right now and don't want to analyze everything. I'm not even sure why I got so upset. It really is kind of hazy," you used your baby voice and he couldn't help but smile. He put a pillow on his lap and let you rest your head as you started watching TV. He played with your hair and rubbed your back until you were practically purring.

Suddenly you remembered, "wait why were you two fighting about me?" You sat up quickly and regretted it just as fast. Luke steadied you and laid you back down gently. "She thinks we're too close. She never had a problem before but now she says it's different."

"What did she say?" You were fighting sleep and he knew it.

"Get some rest," his fingers grazed your skin, his voice low. "We can talk later, I'm not going anywhere."

When you woke hours later you could hear Luke downstairs in the kitchen and you could smell bacon. Your stomach growled and you reached out for the cookies he'd left for you. Nibbling on them helped but you decided you wanted to try whatever he was cooking. You reached for your phone to text him when you saw several missed calls and messages. Plenty of your friends were at the party and wanted to check up on you but you scrolled down to Eva first.

How's everything with Luke? He was pissed when he showed up this morning. He made me change your sheets before he carried you upstairs, and then made me take them home and wash them. Wtf even happened last night? You were fine and then next thing I know Calum is coming to get me because you're fucking wasted. You were saying some crazy shit last night. If you really feel that strongly you need to tell him bc I heard them fighting. His girlfriend thinks you like him and doesn't want y'all hanging out anymore. Cut that bitch off at the knees babe hmu later so I can tell you about Calum

You texted Luke below he could come back upstairs

Idk what you're cooking but it smells amazing. Can I have a bite? Please?

He answered quickly

I was hoping you'd be hungry. I'll make you a little plate. Drink water

You smiled, letting yourself enjoy being domestic with Luke for a day. You quickly scroll back down to check the texts from Calum.

You owe me big time. Luke almost swung on me twice. He's furious I let you drink too much and was worried I had a thing for you. Good thing I had Eva walking sideways 😝😝😝

You need to talk to him, there's got to be a reason he's so overprotective. Hmmmm

His gf is looking for him, he's ignoring her to take care of you. Lucky you have such a good friend right?

You answered Calum back listening for Luke

Yeah he's mad at me too, it's not just you

Did he leave? I thought he was staying there?

Yeah he's downstairs making us food

Oh yeah he sounds really pissed lol tell him I said hi

You heard Luke coming up the stairs

Not a chance, gotta go, he's coming

You put your phone back on the charger and scrambled back onto the pillow before he came back into the room carrying two plates. He'd made bacon and eggs for himself but you hated eggs so he'd made you tater tots covered in bacon and cheese with ranch dressing on the side. He was trying not to eat carbs, but always stole bites off your plate insisting those calories didn't count. You put queer eye on Netflix and you sat side by side, propped up with pillows against the headboard while you ate. He claimed not to like the show, but you knew JVN and Karamo were his favorites. He always laughed at you because you always cried watching this show but he also got choked up a bit from time to time. Your leg was pressed against his and your felt his phone vibrating, text after text, call after call and he ignored them all.

"Are you just gonna let everything go to voicemail?" You asked.

"Told you I didn't want to talk about it, got some thinking to do," his voice was hollow and he was really starting to worry you.

"Why won't you talk to me Luke? I don't understand what's going on." You ask finishing your food.

"I don't either," he sighed. "Why didn't you tell me you like someone?"

"What are you talking about?" You decide to admit nothing until you know what he knows.

"One minute you're hanging with Calum and Mikey, dancing and having fun. By the time I see you next you're in tears and crying to Calum about how you can never get him to notice you. That he doesn't look at you that way. How can he be so sexy with those eyes, his body, the way he moves across a room. Why didn't you tell me?" Luke turned big puppy dog eyes on you and your entire body is hot with embarrassment. You don't remember saying that, but you knew exactly who you meant. How are you going to explain yourself?

Luke surprises you when he keeps talking,"I don't want to tell you what to do, but you know how Michael is with women. He's one of my best friends, my brother, but he only wants one thing and you're worth more than that."

You start laughing, unable to believe Luke is so clueless to think you're after Michael. Not that you'd mind a hookup, you'd heard the rumors about how good he was in bed. You were also aware Michael never caught feelings and soon grew bored with any girl he took to bed.

"I'm not into Mikey like that," you told him. "He was going to be a distraction but I got too drunk."

"So who were you crying over, I want to know who's ass to kick." Luke looked relieved but still concerned.

"It's not important now," you tell him. "He has a girlfriend, and he doesn't see me that way."

Luke frowned, opened his mouth to speak before snapping it shut and closing his eyes. He looked back down at you, "if he doesn't see how wonderful you are, then he definitely doesn't deserve your tears." He reached over and squeezed your leg and it jolted through your entire body. You grabbed his empty plate and swung your legs over the side of the bed. It was only when you stood up and the entire room swayed your remembered your pounding head. Luke was up and next to you in a flash.

"No no no sweetie easy," he took the plates out of your hands and sat you back down. "I'll take care of that, drink some water for me." You nodded and complied, feeling your head ease up a bit.

"I need to take a shower," you insisted.

"Fine, I'll do the dishes so you can have some privacy." Luke walked you to the bathroom and made sure you had towels and your big fluffy robe. You were still a bit woozy but slow deliberate movements kept it mostly at bay.

The water felt like heaven against your skin. For several moments you just let it pour over you, hoping it could wash away your feelings. It didn't work, especially when soaping yourself down you imagined for a second not being alone in the shower. What it would be like to have him pressed against you, his hands on your wet skin.

You groaned in frustration because you felt too awful to get yourself off but thinking about Luke in the shower left you incredibly horny. You finished your shower and shut off the water. Wrapped in your robe and with a towel on your head you sat on the edge of your tub to think about everything. You couldn't deny your feelings for Luke any longer, but had no idea what to do about them. You were starting to suspect he was a little conflicted himself. You decided to test that a bit, and made your way back to your room. Despite it being just after six pm you dug through your pajama drawer finding a matching grey tank and shorts set that was girly cute but not obviously sexy, with a pink lace bralette and purple boy shorts underneath. Sitting on your bed you got the bralette and tank top on just fine, but bending over to try and pull up your panties was not happening. You texted Luke downstairs

I need help getting dressed

He came back upstairs quickly his eyes going wide as he realized your predicament.

"Can you please just hook them on my feet and pull them up where I can reach?" You tried sounding irritated but you were super nervous. So was he from the looks of it, he nodded and swallowed before kneeling and carefully looping the underwear over your feet pulling them up until your hands met his just below your knees. The whole time not looking up at you but his eyes fixed on the hem of your shirt as it grazed your thighs. You saw him blink back to reality and abruptly stand up and turn around. You pulled the panties over your hips and sat back up.

"You can turn back around now." You teased him, handing him the shorts when he did. Same thing only this time he let his hands reach your thighs before he stopped, and when took the fabric from his fingers they lingered hovering before brushing the inside of your thigh with the back of his knuckles.

"Your skin is so soft." You barely heard him and you saw him flush red when he realized what he'd said. He stood up just as you leaned forward and smacked his head into yours.

You both yelped in pain and shock before collapsing onto the bed. You lay there almost in tears until Luke started giggling, which is contagious and soon you're both cracking up.

This doesn't help your headache and when he sees you wince he stops laughing and pulls himself over next to you. Resting on his side on one elbow he inspects the small knot forming at your hairline. He presses a kiss to the spot and you look up at him and return the favor, smoothing his curls away from his forehead and ghosting your lips across his skin before lying back down. You feel the tension in the air and you decide to make a move. Until your stomach growls breaking the spell. Luke laughs and pats your belly, "Let's get some dinner and watch a movie."

He carries you downstairs on his back and puts you on the couch so you can order takeout. You already had his order memorized, grilled chicken wrap, no cheese, extra chicken add avocado. You got a chicken pita, extra feta because he always stole some of it. Luke let you pick the movies grumbling when you picked Aladdin yet he always sang along to every song. You would sing with him on the silly songs like "Friend Like Me"and "Prince Ali" , but left the "A whole new world" to him alone, sometimes closing your eyes and just listening to his voice.

The food arrives just as he's finishing the song.

"Ugh I'm starving," he pushes off the couch to answer the door.

He comes back with the food and gets everything set up, winking at you as he immediately stole a big chunk of feta.

The two of you got quiet as you ate, randomly throwing out lines, by the time the movie was over you were both finished and full.

You were getting a bit sleepy so he put Moana on next and laid your head on a pillow in his lap.

As you watched the movie you became distracted by a loose bright yellow thread in the inseam of his shorts. Rubbing your finger along the seam trying to figure out where the pull started you didn't realize what you were doing until Luke snapped "can you just watch the movie?"

You were taken aback by the harsh tone until you felt him reach inner the pillow to adjust himself. Then you decided to push it up a notch toying with the hem of his shorts before resting your hand on his thigh and giving him a little squeeze.

"Thank you for taking care of me today, I appreciate it," you keep your voice low and stretch your legs out a bit letting your shorts ride up. After a few minutes of you moving around Luke finally taps your shoulder.

"I gotta go to the bathroom," he tells you and you sat up, noticing the bulge he tried to hide in his shorts.

When he got back you saw it was gone and he seemed more relaxed. Luke checked the time on his phone.

"I should go before I fall asleep here, and really get myself into trouble." He grins at you and helps you to your feet for a hug.

"Make sure you keep drinking water and no more drinking like that ok. I don't like seeing my girl upset like that, he doesn't deserve it," Luke tilted your chin up to meet his eyes. He looked at you with such warmth and caring you didn't want him to leave but you couldn't make yourself tell him that. "And no Michael, no Calum, you're off limits and they know this "

"You're not my daddy," you pout sticking out your tongue at him. "What are you gonna do about Leila? She knows you've been here all day and she's pissed," you asked him.

His face darkened, "how do you know that?"

You realize Luke hadn't told you that, Calum had. Your expression tells on you and Luke nods, "I'll deal with him tomorrow. You need to get some rest, can you get back upstairs?"

You nod, "yeah I'm feeling better, you make a good nurse."

"Anything for you sweetheart." He wraps you in a hug again kissing your forehead. "You know you're like family to me "

"Yeah that's the problem." The words are out of your mouth before your realize it and for a second you think they were too muffled for him to hear.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Luke pulls back from you. His eyes searching yours, and you can't believe he's that surprised.

"Break up with your girlfriend and we'll find out." You blurt out the words and instantly want to take it all back. You pulled back and turned away from him, but he stepped up behind you, just like he has a million times before, and squeezed your shoulders while kissing the top of your head.

"I'll talk to you tomorrow." Then he's gone.

You text Eva and she rushes over. The next two hours are a rehashing of every second with Luke as well as more information than you needed about Calum's big dick.

That all happened Sunday. Monday you hadn't heard a word from anyone until Calum texted you after your got home from work.

They broke up, and he's still not talking to me. He even got into it with Michael today telling him you were off limits. What has he said to you?

Nothing, once I told him I didn't want him to think of me like a sister I haven't heard a word. I fucked everything up

You said something? Haha No wonder he's freaking out. I don't think you fucked up, but you definitely hit a nerve. You'll hear from him soon

That was Monday, it was now Wednesday and he still hadn't contacted you aside from liking your posts on social media. You'd even texted him yesterday

Heard what happened, hope you're doing ok. Lmk if you need anything

He'd read it almost immediately but hadn't replied. Michael ended up DM'ing you that night to ask you what happened, and why Luke was trying to warn him off. You had to admit you'd told Luke you found him attractive and thought he'd make a nice distraction from your current problems.

Radio silence stretched until Friday. By the you were a nervous wreck trying to stay busy and not think about it. That just made you think about it more until Luke finally texted you

Hey sorry, I've just been dealing with a lot lately. Tell your mom I said happy birthday, miss ya

You blinked back tears, not because you were hurt, but because you were pissed. What kind of half assed message was that? After what went down Sunday, not to mention waiting five days to contact you in general.

Thanks I'll let her know, going out this weekend, hope to see ya

Prob not but will see

You were stunned at his answer and Calum agreed he was acting like a bitch. Calum and Michael had already convinced you to come out to the club with them Friday. Luke was mad and wouldn't go so you could have fun without worrying about Luke and whatever was going on between the two of you.

You and Eva showed up to the club that night and gave your names at the door. Calum put you on the list for VIP so you went all out. Your black halter top and a silver sequin mini skirt must've looked decent on you given the wicked grin Michael gave you when he saw you. You took a shot from Calum's hand and raised a toast, "to moderation," and you both laughed taking the shot. It was then you saw Luke, sitting in the corner and glaring at you.

"What is he doing here?" You hiss at Calum who shrugs.

"He found out you were coming and suddenly he had to be here. He's mad at us so we're not fucking with him right now. Ignore him, have fun with us."

Eva pulled her onto the floor and they danced together feeling the guys watching them. After a couple songs you wanted a glass of water. Michael was right there, handing you water and flagging down the server so you could order something stronger. You got a tall vodka and cranberry and cozied up to Michael. He was whispering to you and cracking jokes to make you laugh while never getting too handsy or flirty. Calum and Eva were all over each other and you caught Luke's eye as Michael murmured something in your ear. Luke glared at you and you responded by blowing him a kiss.

Luke almost smiled but he looked away, determined to be difficult.

You rolled your eyes and let Ashton lead you out to the dance floor. Music was blasting and you were a decent dancer, and Ashton knew some moves. It was sensual, but not too sexy and you felt he was holding back.

"I thought you were supposed to have hips," you teased him as he turned you three times before bringing you back into him, his fingers lightly resting on your hips.

Accepting the challenge he rolled his hips, thrusting a bit more aggressively against you. Calum noticed and began to cheer you guys on as you danced closer together. You saw Luke stand up. Michael held him back, trying to talk him down, but Luke pushed past him towards where you were.

He cut in and Ashton gave you a wink as he backed away. You kept dancing as if you didn't notice. Luke's fingers dug into your hips as he pressed himself against your back, rocking his hips in time with yours, with his breath hot on your neck. Your fingers entwined with his as you followed familiar steps with your favorite dance partner.

"Come on now, Ashton? What are you thinking? He's worse than Mike. I don't want you being just another one of his girls," Luke snapped.

"You haven't talked to me all week." You shot back. "How am I supposed to know what you want? Besides you're not my father, my brother or my boyfriend so you don't really get an opinion."

"We can work on that." He spun you around, your chest pressed to his staring down at you.

"What's that supposed to mean?" You ask, unable to stop staring at his lips.

"Kiss me and we'll find out." He winked just before his mouth was on yours. His arms circled your waist as your hands crept up his chest feeling his heartbeat race as he kissed you.

You were interrupted seconds later by Calum hugging the two of you, jumping around screaming "I knew it, I knew it."

"Fuck off Calum," Luke snarled and you laughed.

"No way, I'm a fucking matchmaker and I want credit." Calum was smiling at you proudly. "I knew you guys would be perfect together."

Luke laughed and pushed Calum out of the way so he could kiss you again.

@kiiiimberlyriiiicker1995 @ghostofmashton @5sosnsfw @irwinkitten @sexgodashton @maluminspace @kchillout

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rvnjun · 5 years

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nct 127 reacts | gf overhears them call her clingy

request: Hiii! Can I request something where the 127 calls the gf clingy (but she overheard it) and she distances herself , barely talking to them and they don’t know why?:) warnings: angst? authors note: sorry this took so long babydoll and I changed up the req a bit! Feedback and reblogs are very appreciated

T a e i l

Taeil stared at your figure on the couch, your hands tightly curled around the remote and your eyes glued to the movie on the television. Something was wrong but he couldnt put his finger on it. He knew that there was something different about you but he didn't know what. “Y/n?” he called out, awaiting your response. You didn't even him spare him a glance as you mumbled a ‘huh’. “Are,,,aren't you gonna come and greet me?” he asked, voice wavering. Taeil hated how he sounded but he finally realized what was causing him a bother, you hadn't been greeting him when he arrived home anymore. “What's wrong?” he asked right after realizing what was the problem. Normally you were the type of person to not just burst out your emotions like that but before you could collect yourself, the tears were already dripping down your cheeks. “I,,I,,I-” you stopped for a second to collect your breath “-I overheard what you told Taeyong and im sorry for being so clingy.” Taeils eyes wavered at your words “Baby I didnt mean it like that,,Im sorry that I made you feel that way. I love how clingy you are, it shows me how much you love me,” Taeil softly spoke, pulling you in for a gentle hug.

T a e y o n g

Taeyong loved how clingy you could be, some days he wanted nothing more than to be in your arms. Afterall, it wasn't easy being the tough and strong leader of over 16 wild boys. Your arms were a safe haven, the one place we he truly felt like he could relax and not have to worry about anything. However, when Taeyong was truly feeling stressed he would take the anger and worries out on things that didn't make him angry. Which is how he ended up in the situation he was in. Tears burning your cheeks and eyes red and puffy. Your arms were tightly crossed around your chest as you struggled to get the words out. Taeyong hated seeing you this way and it pained him even more to know that it was his fault. “Y/n what you overheard was a private conversation with Johnny that I said under an enormous amount of stress and it wasn't true,” he calmly explained. Your tears momentarily halted as you brokenly asked “Are you sure?” in reassurance. Taeyong didn't say anything but open his arms for you. Immediately you ran to his arms as he tightly held you “I'm so sorry, Y/n.”

J o h n n y

Johnny sighed as he rubbed his temples. There was so much going on his life and he just wanted to lay in bed and cuddle with you. But you were angry with him and he couldn't figure out why. Between you and work he felt like he was being torn apart. Sighing heavily he looked up at you “Y/n I need you to tell me what's wrong otherwise I can't do anything about it,” Johnny stated trying to help the situation. “Im just being less clingy, that's what you wanted, right?’ you asked in a slightly sarcastic tone of voice. Johnny's brows furrowed as he racked his brain for answers, why would you think,,,,,Mark. “What did Mark tell you?” his anger was bubbling a little more. “Mark didn't tell me anything. I went to the dorms to drop off some stuff that you left when I heard you tell him I was annoyingly clingy so I left,” you explained the situation. “Y/n I,,I guess I didn't realize how much I love your clinginess until you stopped in. Im sorry,” he sighed while the weight finally lifted from your shoulders. You smiled and opened your arms, missing giving your giant teddy bear of a boyfriend hugs.

Y u t a

He stared out the window with a blank look on his face. The image of your sadden expression burning into his mind. It was his fault, really. You guys got into a pretty bad fight and he was just upset over that. While ranting to Sicheng about you and the whole ordeal he said that you were “overly clingy to the point it was creepy.” What he did not expect was for you to go to the practice room to apologize for the fight, overhearing the comments he made. Your face shown pure agony, his heart breaking more every millisecond. Regret. He felt regret that he didn't run after you to explain himself. “Im creepy,,huh?” your voice sounded shattered as you spoke with seemingly no emotion. “Y/n,,I didn't mean it like that I was just upset. You're not creepy and I don't know why I even said that,” Yuta said, now the one crying.”I mean at the time I meant it but now that i've calmed down I don't,,,can you please forgive me?” Yuta added hopelessly. Your whole body felt tired and like you'd spent the past hours running miles. You knew Yuta, that sometimes he said things he didn't mean. Almost like you were being pulled to him you wrapped your arms around his sitting figure, his head resting in your chest. “Im glad you dont care that i'm clingy”

D o y o u n g

Doyoung stared at the menu as he continued to talk about his relationship. He confided in Taeyong with private and personal problems, and trusted his advice. Sat at a table a few rows back your grip on the glass began to tighten the more he spoke. Sitting across from you, your dear friend watch with a saddened expression. “I thought things between you both were going good?,” she questioned, voice laced with obvious confusion. You didn’t say anything but placed some money on the table and sat up to leave. You couldn’t bare to stay there any longer, hearing the things Doyoung was saying about you was really hurting you. Once you arrived at your shared apartment you laid in bed and quietly wept. After a few hours your phone lit up showing that Doyoung was calling. Rolling to your side you ignored it, not wanting to talk to him just yet. A few more hours had passed when Doyoung barges into the apartment, confused and worried as to why you never answered his calls. “Y/n?,” he called our softly, carefully pushing the bedroom door open. Even in the dark room he could make out your silhouette in the bed. “Hey what’s wrong?,” he asked already knowing something was up. Despite wanting to yell at him you turned over and looked him dead in the eyes “Why are you being so clingy?” Was what you had asked with ill intentions. Immediately he understood your reasons behind not answering the phone. “You weren't supposed to hear that,” he simply said. You felt the bed dip as he took a seat upon the comfy thing. “Yeah and what else haven't I heard that I wasn't supposed to? What else have you been saying?” Doyoung could tell you were rightfully upset. “Y/n,,I,,I did mean it when I say you're clingy, but If I had a problem with it wouldn't I have told you? Im a straight up person,” Doyoung confessed, hands reaching over towards your figure. It was silent for a moment as you processed his words. Sighing heavily you rolled to face him “Do you promise that it doesn't bother you severely?’ you questioned earning a nod from Doyoung. He leaned down a placed a gentle kiss on your cheek “I mean it.”

J a e h y u n

He always got a little ancy with the interviewers starts asking questions about their dating life. Its a question every idol dreads to hear but has to sit through anyway. Jaehyun, he is always tried to make a joke of it. He may have made it funny for all his fans but all his joke did was hurt the person he cared most about, you. You haven't been answering his texts or calls since the day that video went up. He pulled the mask tighter over his face and rushed to your apartment. Technically he wasn't supposed to leave the dorm today but he wanted to see your face. “Y/n,” he called out while banging on your door. “Y/n,,please open the door,” he said with more desperation. You slowly walked to the door,,feet stopping at the edge as you stared at it. “I know what i said hurt you and im sorry about that,” Jaehyun added, not even sure if you were there. Pressing your back against the door you slid down, Jaehyun doing the same on the other side. “I shouldn't have said that gf who is clingy would be the worst, because for me, a gf who is clingy is the best. A gf who is clingy is the best thing that has ever happened to me,” Jaehyuns voice sounded broken. He needed to see your face, he needed to hug you and make sure everything was okay. The second he heard the sound of the door unlock his heart raced with excitement. You opened the door and pulled him in for a hug. Jaehyun tightly squeezed back and placed kisses on the top of your head. “Oh my god I missed you so much,” he said while bending down to place a kiss on your lips

W i n w i n

Winwin wasnt the type of person to be honest with his emotions but you could always read what he was thinking. “Y/n,,I didnt mean to call you clingy,,yes sometimes you a get a little attached but the only times it bothers me is when im already in a bad mood,” Winwin quietly explained. He felt upset with himself for ever saying those things about you when he knew that they were some of the things he loved the most. You wiped the tears from your eyes using the paws on your sweater. “Are you sure?” you questioned, unsure if he was being truthful. You could tell in the way he looked and in the way he was acting that something was bothering him. Winwin then did something that took you by surprise, he was never one to initiate romantic things first, it was always you. Reaching out, Winwin grabbed you by your waist and pulled your body flush against his. He looked into your eyes with an intense emotion before slowly leaning down and pressing a kiss to your lips, his tongue teasingly darting out. You two stayed like that a few seconds longer than you should have but when he pulled away you were flushed and out of breath. “I really do mean my apology, Y/n. I love you,” he quietly said, seemingly embarrassed with his previous actions.

J u n g w o o

Jungwoo stared at you for a few seconds, he brain racking over everything that had happened. “Why,,why are we breaking up I thought everything was fine?” he asked, tears already flowing like a hydrant. Seeing his broken face broke you even more. Your voice, barely above a whisper, finally came out “Because our communication isn't the best,,and no good relationship has bad communication.” Jungwoo hands grasped out for your wrist holding you in place and not letting you leave. “What should we tell eachother then? Y/n I cant have you go, you're the only thing that's holding me together right now,,please,” his voice cracked and he looked shattered. Your chest heaved up and down as loud sobs erupted from you. “I accidentally read your texts and I saw you tell Lucas I was clingy,,” you confessed, convinced that he would want to break up then. “That's what this is all about? Goodness Y/n you should've talked to me first. Yes you get clingy but tis not a serous issues, what's a serious issue is how hot you eat your food,” Jungwoo cracked a joke. Your tears fell even harder as you pulled him in for a hug. “I'm so sorry for ever suggesting it I should've talked to you first,” you cried like a little baby in his arms. Jungwoo swayed side to side, holding you tightly and cherishing every second of it.

M a r k

You often read over Marks lyrics, whether they were going to be used or nt you loved to read them. It always felt like you got a insight into what was really going on in that Canadians head. Your fingers flipped the page as you started on the next song. “Cling to me” was the title as you guessed since it was written sloppily at the top. Some of the words were smeared due to something having been spilt on it but you did your best to read it anyway. At first ti seemed like a light hearted song but as the lyrics progressed you realized it was about you. A song about how loving it was at first to have someone cling to you only for it to be over bearing and annoying. The door opened as Mark walked in, his eyes skimmed the room only to see you reading his journal. “Oh, I haven’t been writing lately,” he said, plopping down next to you. When you didn’t respond right away Mark noticed that you looked distraught. “y/n?” he questioned before his eyes slowly moved to the page. He felt his heart drop momentarily before his hand darted out to cover the page. “Don’t continue reading this, before you saying anything let me explain. I wrote this after our last fight and I was angry,,I didn't mean it. Flip the page,” Mark instructed while flipping the page for you seeing as you wouldn't listen. “I wrote this he next day after seeing what I wrote the previous night, I didn't mean to write those things, Y/n.” Holding back tears and wanting to listen to him you glanced up at the top “Eyes of an Angel” was the title of this song. Reading the lyrics you let the tears drop. “Eyes of an Angel” was a song about how you always saw him for him and how it was yours eyes that pulled him out of some of his darkest times. About how he was thankful that the first thing he got to see in the morning was your eyes staring back at him. Leaning over he pulled you into a hug and kissed the top of your head “I really should rip that page out,” he mumbled while pulling your lips to his, giving you the sweetest and most gentle kiss he ever had

H a e c h a n

Haechan was a playful spirit, that was something everyone knew. Infact it were his light hearted jokes and his childish teasing that gave him a lot of fans, plus It didn't help that he was incredibly good-looking. Haechan was teasing Mark about how he never lets him hug him or give him kisses. Your feet padded against the ground as you made your way to the dorm, ready to finally drop off Haechans clothes that you stole and promised to return. “Yeah well you know who is really clingy?? Y/n,,sometimes I cant breath when Y/n is in the room-” you stopped in your tracks, dropped his clothes on the ground and spun around on your heels. “clingy,,but,,,Haechan,,with,,he,,me??” you mumbled incoherently to yourself. “-its not like I have a problem with that though, her clinginess is a big reason why I love her,” Haechan finished his sentence, confused as to why Mark was staring behind him funny. “I swear I heard someone,” Mark slowly walked towards the hallway, Haechan not far behind. Peaking over the corner Marks eyebrows went from being knitted in confusion to panic. “Okay Haechan, DON'T PANIC BUT-” Mark was quickly interrupted by the younger bright boy “WHAT DO YOU MEAN DON'T PANIC?? NOW IM PANICKING WITHOUT KNOWING WHATS WRONG,” the young boy yelled back. “Sorry,,,I uh,,,I think Y/n was here to drop off your clothes but for some reason she dropped them,” Mark directed Haechans line of sight to his clothes on the ground. “Fuck. She probably heard me calling her clingy and left,” Haechan quickly pushed past Mark, pace picking up as he attempted to catch you before you got back on the train. The second her caught sight of your hair, bouncing as you hurriedly walked he couldn't help but scream your name. You froze in place long enough for him to catch up, with his hands on his knees and his favorite hoodie in his hands. “You,,you didnt hear it all,,I called you clingy,,but I also said thats why I,,I love you,,please,,take this back and,,,come back to the dorm,” Haechan said in between heavy pants. “Oh my gosh im so stupid,,sorry Haechan,” you said with a giggle, putting his favorite hoodie on. He stared at you in disbelief for a few seconds before pulling you in for a tight hug. “Its not fair you look better in my stuff than I do.”

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swannsjack · 5 years

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Oh my god, can you people stop making things up and distorting facts about the Johnny Depp vs Amber thing just so that you can keep defending her??

(I’m pretty sure this will not reach anyone who actually needs it, but I’m still doing this)

People are so allergic to admitting they’re wrong, or at least giving someone the benefit of the doubt, that y’all making up absolute bs. Calling Depp racist, misoginistic, homo/bi-phobic, and worst of all a p*dophile.

There’s literally zero evidence backing up any of it and if you fell for that, I feel sorry for you. This is all bs made up by Heard stans to make him look bad in front of people who know nothing about him. And for some people literally all it takes is when someone says something and they’re like “really?” “YES, i have no evidence to support this except for my nonsense hate and me being an awful human for making sh*t up, but IT’S TOTALLY TRUE”. and people just believe it. it’s ridiculous.

I’m not saying he’s perfect, but he’s never been any of the aforementioned things. I’m not even going to touch much on the p*dophile thing because that was made up by a Trump stan and JD hates Trump and they’re so pressed about it they have to make disgusting things like that up, and now people who were shocked by his evidence proving they were slandering him for no reason, repeat it just so that they don’t have to admit they were wrong.

No woman, except for Heard and her hoax-assisting friends, have ever said a bad word about Depp. Quite the opposite, everyone’s who met him say he’s a gentleman, kind, caring. Saying things like “there’s no one else like him” and claiming “he doesn’t belong in show business, he belongs somewhere better” - by Sarah Jessica Parker. His first wife is not only still in contact with him, but even spoke against Heard and said Johnny never even raised a voice at her. Vanessa Paradis wrote a hand-written note defending him. So many women spoke in defense of him.

Some people are even lying and saying he has been accused by his previous gf of abuse. HE HAS NOT. No one had ever accused him of that and no one came out during the last three years saying “oh yeah he abused me, too” they DEFENDED HIM. Please, if you someone tried to convince you that he had been accused, do not believe it, do your own research, you’ll see it that it’s not true and people are just making up rumours to support their “Heard is a victim” story.

Or her stans saying he abused her because she’s bisexual is like?? There is literally nothing to back it up. He’s never said a bad word about other sexualities. He made a decision that Jack Sparrow is bisexual. His very own daughter is not straight and have you seen how proud he is of her? He supports her and adores her with every ounce of his being. Stop turning him into something he’s not.

"If there's any message to my work, it is ultimately that it's okay to be different, that it's good to be different, that we should question ourselves before we pass judgement on someone who looks different, behaves different, talks different, is a different color." - Johnny Depp, y’all

But guess who was arrested for abusing her FEMALE partner? Amber Heard.

Guess who accused the gay FEMALE cop that arrested her of being misoginistic? Amber Heard.

And guess who accused the same GAY female cop that arrested her of being homophobic? Amber Heard.

And guess who made a racist tweet? AMBER HEARD.

Isn’t it funny how Heard stans are accusing Depp of everything that can be said of and proven Amber Heard is??

Now for the distorting of facts:

I’ve seen a few posts/tweets being like “ya’ll jumped at some UNsourced info” blah blah. IT IS NOT UNSOURCED. They’re legit lawsuit with clerk stamps on them. And Johnny and his lawyer have referenced them!! Johnny literally said “which is why I’m suing...” and there’s been a recent statement reacting to people’s support how he’s determined more than ever to fight for justice and he WANTS his day in court to prove all that he’s saying is true. And his lawyer has been giving statements to the press for almost a year now. All of this is legit info from legit court documents. Just because you’re too lazy to look for the actual link for the whole document, that doesn’t make them false. It’s like you people think a Depp fan wrote two fake 40 page lawsuits, are you really that pathetic to suggest something like that? Waldman, his lawyer, has confirmed what the lawsuit says, it’s not just screenshot from some “unsourced” lawsuit, he repeated what the lawsuit says: 87 surveillance videos, litany of neutral witnesses, including the police, photographic evidence, audio, and sworn testimonies, as well as Heard’s admission.

And furthermore, people saying just because the lawsuit claims she confessed, doesn’t mean it’s true. Well, okay. However, she has not denied the claims. Read through her statements reacting to the lawsuits, she or her lawyer/publicist or whatever, have responded several times. But never with “I deny this”. It’s always something to make Johnny look bad. “that’s mental abuse” “he’s hell-bent on self-destruction” “ms heard won’t be silenced” “frivolous lawsuit” “just read his latest interview to see he’s delusional” blah blah blah.

None of that includes any denial whatsoever. And some people are saying “well, so she was just defending herself!!” yeah? so why hasn’t she said that either?? Instead of accusing Depp of mental abuse, she could just say “I confessed to ‘attacks’ that were pure self-defense.” That’s literally all she’d have to say. She hasn’t. The first “she admitted” claims came out several months ago last year (y’all just noticed only this week for some reason). And in all those months, she has not denied anything. Whereas Johnny has ALWAYS maintained he didn’t abuse her, he’s always denied it. Why hasn’t she?

My second point is people saying he’s still an asshole even if he was a victim, because *references some out of context bs* blah blah, I’ve been over a part of this at the beginning. Yes, he was arrested in the past, for trashing a hotel room (no violence on people) with his then gf Kate Moss, and for chasing away paparazzi after politely asking them to leave him and his family alone. They didn’t, so he PROTECTED his family. Trying to distort that to make him sound abusive is gross. And lastly, stop using the “he punched a guy on a movie set” allegation. First of all, the guy literally ditched court, I wonder why. Secondly, multiple people have come out saying Johnny was neither drunk, nor did he punch the guy. A script supervisor even said they have time-stamped photos to prove he didn’t. However, I would not blame him if he did because HE WAS DEFENDING A HOMELESS AFRICAN-AMERICAN WOMAN. That’s right, the accuser was being RACIST. And according to witnesses:

Danoff says they were shooting outside and Brooks (the accuser) berated an African-American homeless woman with "racial and derogatory slurs" because she was in his way. Depp was sitting next to her about 25 feet away when it happened.

"He immediately stood up from our shared seat on the edge of a planter bench and went over to Brooks to stand up for the woman," Danoff says. "Mr. Depp said to Mr. Brooks, 'You can’t talk to her like that. You think she is something less than you? Who do you think you are? How dare you?'"

What an as*hole Depp is, right?

And stop using his addiction struggles to say that proves he’s abusive or that it means he deserved the abuse. Addiction is an illness and it’s disgusting to use it against him, when he’s been so opened and honest about it his entire life /but guess who’s pretending to be perfect even though she’s in fact known to be a drug addict but she pretends she’s not, at least JD’s open about it. He’s always been an honest guy. He is not a liar/. I beg you, watch this video “I was trying to calm the brain. I was trying to feel better.” and tell me, how can you use it against him?? And note, that this was two months before Heard’s accusation, a year into their marriage, look at his appearance. He was being abused.

He was also abused as kid, by the way. If you didn’t know.

And what’s also annoying is “none of that proves his innocence, they were both abusive then” GO AWAY WITH THIS NONSENSE. She’s been openly mocking him for almost three years now.

1) Guess who starred in a pirate film. 2) Guess who played the Mad hatter in Alice in Wonderland? Oh yeah, that would be her former “abusive” husband. 3) And the last photo is literally so disgusting. Johnny changed the tattoo with her nickname that he had on his fingers (and he wears a lot of rings on his fingers) and this human garbage posted a picture of herself with fist punching, fingers full of rings and the caption #NoInkNeeded. She is a garbage, openly mocking her victim.

And she RECENTLY posted several photos of herself that were taken while she was with Depp (x, x - both taken years ago by Johnny’s friend Greg Williams) One on the roof of the building they lived in together where she was allegedly being violently abused. Oh the nostalgia, am I right? Her friend literally commented they miss it. WTF? They miss the place their friend was “abused” in? Oh and guess who demanded the three of their formerly shared condos in that building? Our perfect angel “abuse victim” miss Heard. I’m sure it’s very normal for an abuse victim to want to keep the place in which they were abused. Johnny Depp is the weird one for selling it and wanting no memories of it.

Stop the mental gymnastics to defend Heard and paint Depp as the worst human ever.

#amber heard #johnny depp

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dimples-of-discontent · 5 years

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Hello, it is I, a 34 year-old woman who has come here to talk about someone I know who may or may not have a crush on me but it’s irrelevant because 1) he’s not single and 2) I have cancer so I’m not going to date anyone anyway. But guess what? I don’t care!! Some things just never change and the kind of “am I reading this right??” insecurity that you have when you’re a teenager just never goes away.

So, hey, if you’ve missed me I’m here to deliver all kinds of silliness tonight! I’ve been away lately because, during the week, I went to an appointment in Boston with a doctor from Harvard who specializes in the kind of breast cancer I have and (hurray!) think it really paid off and I think I’ll be treated there. Then, for the weekend, my NY-area friends and I went away to a cabin in the woods for pre-chemo celebration/togetherness. (Don’t worry; it wasn’t like a horror movie.) It was totally wonderful. I drove to and from the cabin with the dude in question. My adolescent ramblings below.

So, back in August I wrote this silly post about whether I was over- or misinterpreting my friend’s behavior. At the time, we’d been friends for about 3 months and he and his GF were long-distance. Now, we’ve been friends for an additional 7 months and she’s lived with him for 6 of those. They are now both actually my closest friends in town and really high on the list overall too. I like hanging out with them together and separately. We’ve got a neat nexus of overlapping interests so that any combination of the 3 of us has lots to talk about and a lot of fun. I’m somewhat closer to him, because we see each other SO often and because we often confide things in each other. I’m close to her too, though. It’s rare to find such good friends and, honestly, that’s the only really important thing. I have no interest in losing that.

Anyway, my read on the situation back when I posted in August is now pretty much that he was stressing out about the imminent arrival of the GF because they hadn’t been living together and she was moving there without a job just to be with him and that’s kind of a lot. I have no idea if it had anything to do with me. I think it may have, just in the sense of an additional thing. I think it’s likely that he had some level of crush on me--although even if not we were definitely good friends--and was worried about how that would change with the addition of a partner would change either dynamic.

It all worked out because the minute the three of us met as a group we clicked instantly. We spent the summer and fall going hiking together and all having long conversations in the car and on the trail. We watched movies together and threw a Halloween party. He and I see each other 5-7 days a week (since we work together) and have a constantly active text conversations (the 3 of us have a GC too). I worried about intruding, but both of them invited me to stuff and were happy to be invited. (I did find it hard/annoying to try to see either one of them socially without the other...they do the couple thing of coming along as a unit but, ultimately, I didn’t make a thing out of it b/c they are great.) I could see how much he relaxed, literally the first few hours we all met up together as it was apparent how well we all got along. So, maybe he was worried about what I was going to do myself as well as his feelings? Who knows.

So I was pretty much on the side of “this was a temporary crush that abated once GF moved in and he remembered why they were together and it was clear that that wasn’t changing just b/c I was around.” That’s true, I think. But...ok. So, I’m very much one for crushing on, hooking up with, and getting into relationships with friends. I find it hard to know any other way. This means that I’m constantly keeping a lid on low-to-high level crushes for unavailable folks. (I think my brain is just wired for romantic/physical attraction to align with emotional closeness...too bad I’m only romantically and physically attracted to men though.) So of course--of COURSE--there is a part of me that wants us to be dating. Inevitably. It’s not helped by the fact that he reminds me so strongly of my first serious boyfriend, a wonderful guy I was with for 3.5 years. And, generally, I blame myself and this fact for any over-reading of things. But then I wonder if I’m not just gaslighting myself (an expert move) b/c I am so worried about coming off as arrogant by thinking he does have romantic feelings.

There are plenty of small things aside from just the constant contact. For one, he was deeply upset by my cancer diagnosis and is taking it all (including my feelings about it) very seriously. And, yeah, that is a very valid reaction, but we haven’t known one another that long...even my exes and friends from 10+ years ago haven’t been as affected, and the people who are have have been in my life for absolute ever. I’m shocked that he and the GF are willing to go through this with me since I feel like I haven’t given them much as friends so far, but they absolutely are so clearly they are just great people.

More frivolously, when one or both of us is intoxicated or otherwise in an altered state he’ll let himself be a lot physically closer to me than usual. Like, it’s actually notable that usually he tries hard not to be touching me, in a way that just has to be deliberate. Friends sit together and knock their shoulders or elbow each other or will pat backs, ruffle hair, share blankets, lean into each other...all the kinds of touching that communicate intimacy without it being sexually charged. If we do that by accident, he’ll move away fast. Except if he’s drunk. And even then it’s absolutely nothing untoward, just drifting into my space, resting knees together. One time we were standing in line for fried food after a bar night, with the GF, all happily drunk, and I leaned into him so our shoulders and arms were pressed together as I read the menu. He moved away so that we weren’t touching. Then, a fraction of a second later, he moved back so that we were pressed together again, like he’d made some kind of decision to do it. He also *never* says anything about my appearance. Like, not even “you look nice” when I’m dressed for an event or “I like your haircut.” Maybe he just doesn’t want to be brought in to validate me or something, but again it feels like it goes against the social norms for friends but makes sense if he’s trying to conceal non-platonic feelings.

We behave enough like a couple that people who encounter us, even at work, often believe we’re together. We share food and drinks (from the same plates or cups) and often bring things that the other has left behind at our places. We have to try not to get the giggles at meetings when inside jokes come up. We tease each other with stories only 2-3 of us (him, me, and GF) know. This is all kind of dumb and, mostly, background noise to a great friendship. I decided that we’d just always have a little tension/chemistry but that we’d probably never mention it and that’s fine. That’s likely right! But this weekend he and I drove up to this cabin together (about 3 hrs each way) and things felt...loaded?

I’m getting tired, so I may need to write down the rest of my thoughts later. But, on the way up, we listened to music and drove through the dark and had some good conversations about friends, family, work, life, etc. The weekend was great (about which more later, hopefully) and then today on the drive back (which, again, is close to 3 hours) we did nothing but talk. First, about life stuff and then, rapidly, about our entire relationship histories. We’d exchanged a lot of that info before--including how much I remind him of the GF before this one, which we affirmed again when I referred to her as “the one who is basically me” and he said “yeah, and in more than the superficial ways too.” To be clear, he wasn’t talking about his current relationship or implying anything like dissatisfaction with it. There was just a whole LOT of dating history, hookup history, good/bad feelings and experiences; the kind of long convo you can have with a friend while burning miles of highway.

We took a break, got back in the car, and I laughed and said “I feel like that was pretty much my whole history but if there’s anything else you want to know AMA!”. I didn’t expect him to take it seriously but he did and basically asked “What crazy things did you do when you were younger” and I was like “in what sense? and what’s do you consider ‘crazy’?” and he was like “I mostly mean sexually...and you get to decide what counts.” So, I don’t have a totally extensive experience to draw from but I have some so I shared a few and was like “what about you?” and then he shared a few. And we had actual real conversations about how relationships make you feel and about the weird nexus of desire and shame that can happen.

Eventually I was like, “I think that’s everything I could tell you...anything else you wanted to know?”. And he goes quiet for a L O N G time and goes “is there anyone in [place where we live] that you have like a crush on?”. And I am rolling my eyes internally (and possibly externally) because EITHER this is the most obvious ploy to get me to say “oh it’s you!” that I’ve ever heard, or else he so TOTALLY doesn’t think of me that way that he’s not even counting himself as a possibility. So I just go ahead and say, “well, if you weren’t in a relationship I would want to date you” b/c I am not going to coyly misdirect. I’m watching the traffic b/c the highway is crowded so I don’t know what face he made but he says, “Thank you. I mean...yeah. I could see that happening. [pause] But what I meant was is there anyone you have just, like, an idle crush on?”. So then I feel kind of dumb because was that his way of letting me down gently? OR was it way of saying “yeah, what you’re talking about with us is more than an idle crush”?? One way makes me feel stupid for saying anything, and the other makes me feel like he pretty much just told me that we’d be dating if he weren’t with someone else - which is what I suspected but which I also thought it made me arrogant to think. (Or maybe it was just a way to not have to follow up on us both basically admitting that if things were different we’d be a couple.)

There was some other odd stuff, though none of it felt weird in a bad way just like it stuck out a little. (FYI, it was all in fun and not at all awkward - we are super comfortable together.) I was talking about how several times I’ve gotten together with guys for a short time who then went back to their long-term girlfriends and how one of my other friends said I was a “what if” girl; like “sure I have a girlfriend but what if I were with HER??”. And he was like, well yeah, that’s possible and a huge compliment b/c why not dream big? And then later said that clearly I could be a homewrecker if I ever wanted to be (though we both know I wouldn’t). He also told me about another girl who was his ex’s roommate who just started texting him again talking about how she’s unhappy in her relationship; he says they always had chemistry and that she’s reaching out b/c of that but that, obviously, he’s just playing dumb in the text messages and pretending that’s not what she’s doing. But, like, is he letting me know that other people like him? Why? Basically, I couldn’t get a handle on whether this conversation, whatever else it was, had a subtextual vibe of “I have doubts/questions about my current situation” or not.

Having typed it out, though, it sounds a bit like it does? And like they might involve me? Or that it’s just fully a “bad timing” kind of thing where we could date but obviously never will. Can we at least conclude that this is someone who is attracted to me?? It sounds like that, right?

I mean, it also sounds very silly and not appropriate to my age to be going over in such detail but, honestly, if it’s distracting me from cancer that’s kind of just good. Anyway, you are readers and writers of fic and consumers of literature so I appeal to you to let me know what YOU think is going on here...aside from the fact that no matter what I have a great pair of friends who I care very much about. I welcome the distraction....though if you could comment and not reblog that would be great. And thank you for reading this diary entry. ;)

#probably boring #but if you want you can read it #boys #what even are they #personal #single living #dating #but not b/c this is about my friend who I am NOT DATING #fic tropes #b/c honestly it is #give me your expert opinion #waste time with me #it will be fun #don't reblog #please and thank #about me #my fast-paced life #DISTRACTION FROM CANCER WOOOOO

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thecloserkin · 5 years

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book review: Mira Grant, Deadline (2011)

Genre: Sci-Fi

Is it the main pairing: Yes

Is it canon: Yes

Is it explicit: No

Is it endgame: Yes

Is it shippable: Yes

Bottom line: how is it possible that the book where one half of OTP is dead is shippier than the first one where they’re both alive

Book 2 of the Newsflash trilogy picks up with our boy Shaun, who’s turned desk jockey since he lost George, riding to the rescue of some buddies beset by a zombie swarm. Everyone makes it out alive and Shaun tries to play it like it’s no biggie but the truth is,

I’ve lost one of the integral traits of a good Irwin: I’m not having fun. When I wind up in the field, it’s a chore to be survived, not an adventure to be relished. Without that little spark of gosh-golly-wow to drive me on, I’m essentially a dead person walking … George is the one who stopped breathing, but I’m the one who gave up on living.

Without George he has nothing to live for and so he’s sensibly withdrawn from fieldwork. The one thing that keeps him going is George’s voice in his head, chiding him for (among other things) picking up a coffee instead of a can of Coke. He’s started drinking Coke to appease her. He says it himself: “I am a haunted house pretending to be a man.” As for whether she’s real or just a figment of his imagination, this is Shaun’s take:

Screw sane. I don’t want anything that makes her stop talking to me.

Buckle up for an angst rollercoaster, kids:

One apartment for me and George, who didn’t take up any physical space but was so much a part of every room that sometimes I could fool myself into thinking she had just stepped out for some fresh air.

Several people have said it doesn’t really feel like anybody lives there, and what they don’t seem to understand is I like it that way. As long as I’m not really living there, I never have to think about the fact that I’m living there alone.

Outwardly he’s functional i guess but this is not the behavior of a person who has Moved On.

Sometimes I think this series is a how-to manual for small business owners masquerading as science fiction. For Shaun and George, the work used to be everything. Now George is gone Shaun is in the unenviable position of having to make all the tough calls, and second-guessing every last one because maybe George would have done it better. Oy vey. Offhand he informs us that their parents are also suing Shaun for ownership of her intellectual property. I always knew they were vultures but seriously???

So Shaun’s raison d’être right now is to bring down the person or people who murdered George. Obviously this does not mean the ones who pulled the trigger, it means the ones who gave the order & plotted to remove her. In the process of doing this he uncovers an even bigger conspiracy—although maybe it’s merely the same conspiracy from Book 1, only expanded in scope. I’m not sure. What I’m mainly interested in is how bad absolutely clueless Shaun is at signaling or perceiving romantic interest. Like, there’s a co-worker/employee of his, and they’re thrown together rather a lot, and she’s clearly crushing on him hard only Shaun’s too dense to see it. After the whole affair ends disastrously (he sleeps with the poor girl then calls her by George’s name) he ruminates:

”Why would I know what the signs were? I never had to read them before.”

It’s obvious why Shaun, a not-unattractive grown ass man whose other social skills appear to fall well within the range of “normal,” has such atrophied skills when it comes to this one thing. He’s never had to use them. Here’s Maggie the relationship guru:

”Have you ever had a girlfriend?” “Not as such, no.” ”Have you ever been in love?” There’s never been a good answer to that question. I didn’t even try. I just shrugged.

I can’t find the tweet anymore but Seanan Maguire has confirmed that Shaun and George first got together the night after junior prom—they went with other people as a sort of experiment. (@JKRowling see, this is the sort of authorial headcanon that the fans actually clamor for.) The two of them just skipped right over the tentative fumbling awkward initial stages of dating, of getting to know each other, because they already know each other inside out. Shaun says:

Sometimes I’m even arrogant enough to think the Rising happened so we could be together.

Colloquially we use the term two people “being together” to mean they enter into an exclusive romantic relationship. But it’s intentionally ambiguous here whether he means that, or just the two of them finding each other, because what would have been the chances of their being raised together absent a global catastrophe like a zombie apocalypse. Shaun finds it impossible to separate the romantic aspect of their relationship from the familial bond, and that’s why I love incest thanks for coming to my ted talk. Oh, here’s Mahir the relationship guru:

”I mean, I didn’t know…” “What, that I loved your sister? Of course you didn’t, just like you had no idea Rebecca fancied you. You never had to go searching like the rest of us.”

Can I just say, on an unrelated note, I feel SO BAD for Mahir’s wife who’s not even a proper character? She doesn't get any screentime. But this is a small business how-to manual, remember, and the way Shaun is always ringing Mahir at 2 in the morning and Mahir feels obligated to pick up because it’s his boss? Mahir’s wife is a saint, canonize her immediately. Back to my earlier point about how Shaun has less experience with flirting/dating than your average fourteen-year-old:

This sort of thing was easier to handle when George was around. She was always the one who noticed when girls started crushing on me, and she made them go away. One way or another. I’ve never tried to deal with this sort of situation on my own before.

What’s fascinating is that it’s not just romantic entanglements that he’s at a loss to deal with:

I’d never driven any real distance with a passenger—not unless you counted George, who didn’t actually change the way the bike was balanced, or make it necessary for me to compensate for additional weight.

WHEN GEORGE RODE PILLION ON HIS MOTORCYCLE IT DIDN’T EVEN THROW OFF HIS BALANCE!!! He’s not used to having to think about compensating for a passenger’s weight bc with George everything came naturally!!! If this isn’t a metaphor for their entire relationship idk what the hell it is.

She didn’t like touching people, so I touched them for her. She didn’t like emotional displays, so I took up the slack.

She was the yin to his yang, they were a team etc etc. Here is how Shaun reacts when the book’s antagonist gives his Evil Villain Spiel:

”I never gave you much credit for brains, Shaun—that was your sister’s department, God rest her soul, and if she made any errors in judgment, it was in trusting you to watch her back—but I still thought you were smarter than this.” “You take that back,” I whispered.

Shaun couldn’t care less that this fool gives him zero credit in the brains department, but let him impugn George’s judgment even slightly and our boy is ready to throw hands. We stan.

These are my two favorite passages from the book:

George and I shared a lot of rooms exactly like this one, one of us dozing while the other kept working, the staccato click of keys providing the white noise that meant it was safe to sleep.

It’s a work partnership! It’s a sibling bond! It’s a romantic pairing! It’s us-against-the-world, it’s everything! Also this:

George and I used to have shower races. Who could get in and clean and out again in the shortest amount of time. All the guys we went to school with insisted that their girlfriends and sisters took forever in the bathroom, but George always beat me … once a month or so, she’d take over the bathroom for an afternoon to dye her hair back to its original color, which inevitably resulted in her shouting for me to come in and help her dye her roots. The sink on our old bathroom was stained a permanent brown by the time we were sixteen, and we ruined so many towels.

Lol the implied contrast between “other guys who complained about their gfs/sisters” and Shaun who’s been President of the Georgia Mason Fan Club for over two decades.

ANYWAY the twist at the end of this novel is that George is alive. She’s being held at some scary, sterile government facility, and it’s clear from a minor early plot point involving clones that this isn’t George, it’s got to be a George-clone. Because George 1.0 died in Shaun’s arms. But George 2.0 has got all George’s memories so we’re going to go ahead and treat her just like George, which sets us up nicely for alternating Shaun-and-George POVs when we return for the final installment of the “Newsflesh” trilogy.

#book review #newsflesh #georgia x shaun

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ryouverua · 6 years

Text

Trial reaction time

Heads up because I’m basically taking screenshots as I go and using the remote play function of the PS4 to do it, they’re gonna be pretty sparse in the trial section. Might grab some from Lets Plays though if I feel they’re significant. Also, loving the visual effects they have for some of them cough Angie cough

Full disclosure - going in, I wasn’t really prepared to make a culprit guess. I was leaning towards Kirumi, because FREAKING MAIDS MAN and a WHITE-HAIRED ONE -

I-I mean, because I figured the motive was ‘gonna try and kill the mastermind who I think is Rantaro’ and it made sense for the one who was dedicating herself to serve everyone and who has been recruited to do incredible things on behalf of powerful people would be willing to take out the mastermind in order to save all of her classmates. With that said I didn’t think she would be the type to make a mistake, which was why I wasn’t really feeling it. Anyway....

Oh, you adorable little gremlin.

So no screenshots for a while tbh - there was a decent amount of time dedicated to showing Rantaro wasn’t the culprit, why he was there at the door in the first place, etc, etc. After a while of making sure the whole class is on the same page, we finally get to the good stuff.

Miu had the focus on her as a potential culprit for a while too but again - yeah, definitely not. Let’s move on.

Suddenly, the spotlight is on Gonta!

.... Yeah. Uh, no.

I’m so glad they’re addressing the shotput through the door of the A/V room so early on in the trial. I was really hoping it wasn’t Gonta via that method because it just seemed a bit too obvious, you know? From the start I would have been incredibly surprised if they had gone with a murder that happened with the culprit in the room, especially with the cameras even if there were very few people aware of them

You tell’im, Gonta. Also, he takes this whole thing very well, everything considered.

Also I may have been getting those Spirit of Justice final-case-prologue vibes ala gravity before this because... yeah. I think this was the point where I was like, well, it had to have been dropped from above, right? So I was focused on the air vent from this point on. Ai yai yai...

At this point, there’s been an important voice that has been noticeably quiet. I’m not the only one that noticed, either.

Then the camera intervals got brought up.

YEAH, TELL ME ABOUT IT.

Now that took me by surprise. Seriously, what? I was actually pissed for a few moments, thinking that this was gonna become an important clue that would impact who the culprit was. Luckily this happened for a reason that’ll become clear later, but in the mean time... well, poor Shuichi gets the limelight next.

COUPLES NEED CLEAR COMMUNICATION, SHUICHI

OMG LOOK AT THAT GLORIOUS TROLL FACE

WELCOME TO THE UMINEKO TROLL FACE HALL OF FAME KOKICHI

WE WELCOME YOU WITH OPEN ARMS

Anyway, lying was hella fun.

But that led to something that, I gotta admit, I wasn’t ready for. When Shuichi was cleared, I was asked to choose a culprit and I was like wait - ? What? I’m not ready yet -

but I think just like Shuichi, it kinda hit me and I was like.... have I been blinded by sentiment and main character bias this whole time.

DO I REALLY NEED TO ACCUSE -

and then my finger slipped and I accidentally accused Gonta and lost the trial. I’M NOT EVEN JOKING.

....... Anyway.

That moment when you realize your new gf murdered Rantaro’s punk ass

i’m not crying you’re crying and Shuichi is definitely crying

WHO KNEW THAT KAEDE HAD IT IN HER TO SET UP A RUBE GOLDBERG MACHINE DAMN GIRL YOU’VE GOT A PRETTY GOOD BRAIN WORKING UNDER THAT CUTE HAIRCUT

GUYS THIS BROKE MY HEART

Protaganist screen was officially passed onto Shuichi, POV, everything - I WASN’T READY FOR IT

EVEN THE COLOUR OF THE LINES CHANGED FROM PINK TO BLUE

tbh I was still in denial at this point, just like Shuichi. I DIDN’T WANT TO LOSE KAEDE I DIDN’T THINK THAT WAS AN OPTION ON THE TABLE

I mean, I had the motive right though at least??? kill the mastermind, save everyone???

..... I’m watching you Kirumi grumblegrumble...

goddamnit there goes our female protag

#Ryou plays drv3 #spoilers

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propshophannah · 7 years

Note

I have a weird comment question thing. I just turned 18 a few weeks ago (no surprise. I guess) but it's kinda messed with one of my mantras. Whenever l don't feel perfectly safe (even though l live in a safe area. But even at the grocery or while running or whatever) my mantra is just talking through a situation aka if any guy approached me and made me uncomfortable l could just scream "I'm A MINOR!" Obvi 10,000:1 that'll never happen but it made me feel better. Now I can't do that. Any advice?

First of all, that's brilliant! And you can still do that. People will doubt themselves (she looks 18, but she's yelling that she a minor—we need to help her) before they doubt you. And rapist/creepers tend to go for the easiest target. So if you're already standoffish of making it very clear that you know that they are, that they're making you uncomfortable, and you're NOT okay with that, most creepers will leave you alone for an easier, less assertive target. Never doubt your gut. Your brain will ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS try to rationalize why someone isn't creepy or dangerous. Your brain will be like "he looks fine." "He hasn't done anything creepy." "You're over reacting." "You're being judgmental." You gut, will NEVER NEVER EVER steer you wrong. Listen to you gut. But you sound like you're already good at that. So my next piece of advice would be, always have friends you trust around you. Smart friends who know how to listen to their gut instincts, and who will back you even if they don't agree with what your gut is telling you about someone. Cuz creepy dudes aren't necessarily setting off everyone's creep-dar, right? Creeptron 4,000 might have a thing for blondes, so he might be making my gf feel uncomfortable, but not me. So always have smart friends around who will back you no matter what. Always drive yourself. There is NOTHING worse than getting stuck in a shitty situation because you're not driving. That doesn't mean, you should be responsible for all your friends for the night (not unless you want to be), but make sure multiple people are driving. So if you're like, "this guy is creepy, I'm not staying at this party" you can leave and not have to round up the whole crew. Be assertive. You teach people how to treat you, and your mental/emotional state and body language will get that across to creeps. So be straight. If some dude is creeping on you, or maybe he's being nice but he just won't leave you alone—tell him that. He might get his feelings hurt, might call you a bitch, might get nasty. But that's not your problem, and that's not anything you should feel bad about. I have told MANY a dudes to back up because they're standing too close. I've let them know that it's not okay to buy my food, or my girlfriends food or drinks at the bar. (SIDE NOTE: Never let strangers or dudes in general pay for you. Whether it's the first time you met them at a bar, or it a first date, whatever. You never want a man to think you're beholden to them. Plus, the good/decent dudes will be impressed that you won't let them pay for you. That shit works like candy. Oddly enough.) So yes. Don't let dudes pay for you, especially the creepy ones. This goes without saying, never let them get your drinks. I'd also never let anyone get my drinks. Not unless I'm watching. I don't care who it is. It could be my best friend, but if she's not assertive and alert like I am then I'm getting the drinks or watching as she gets them. Some of my best "leave me alone you're creepy" lines are (all said assertively and sometimes rather aggressively—cuz sometimes Creeptron 4,000 doesn't hear "no" and to that I'll add, if ANYONE does not hear you when you say "no" or when you set any kind of boundary STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM THEM!):Creeptron 4,000 is too close: "You need to back up. You're way to close to me."Creeptron 4,000 wants you to know how you attractive you are: "Hi. You may not know this, but giving a girl your unsolicited opinion about the way she looks really sexist and it's not a compliment. I'm not here for your viewing pleasure. You're not going to impress me with your lack of social skills, and you're not going to make me feel beholden to you for giving me you unsolicited opinion of my appearance."(I've used this several times, and I find that it works like a charm for two reasons: 1. Most creeps lose interest because they don't follow. 2. They know you're smarter than them and they don't want to put effort into creepin. They want easy. Smart ain't easy.)Creeptron 4,000 wants to buy you a drink: "No thanks. I'm good." He doesn't hear your no. "You need to back up and leave me alone. You're not listening to what I have to say and I don't associate with people like that. Goodbye." (Shut it down. And if he persists, I'd play the "IM A MINOR" card, or I'd get my friends and leave, or if you're out at a restaurant, tell the waitress of the bartender. Bartenders tend to be good about watching creepy guys, or getting rid of them for the night. Not always. I find in college towns, bartenders are WAY better at shutting down creepy people than in non college places. But always good to let the serving staff know there is a creeper afoot cuz they don't want to get shut down. Creeptron 4,000 came out of nowhere are scared you: "Whoa dude. Not cool. Don't do that. Not appropriate. You approach me like a normal person you, you don't just pop out of the woodwork." And if you want to take it a step further, and really grab the power in the situation, you can say something like, "let's do this again. I'm gonna pretend like I just walked into this room, and then you can approach me appropriately. Let's practice!"Creeptron 4,000 thinks he can touch you because he thinks it's "playful" and "flirty" (UGH): "Please don"t touch me." Or "I did not give you permission to touch me." Or "And you're hand is where? Yeah, on me. That's a no." Then When he makes you out to be "dramatic" or says you're "overreacting" (😑) you do NOT let him have the power. You call out his bullshit in a calm, assertive way. Something like, "No, sir. Don't you push your embarrassment onto me by saying I'm overreacting or being dramatic. You put your hand on me. Without my permission." If he really needs to be shut down then id continue with excessive examples. Such as: "Maybe in your household men can touch women at will, but out here in the real world we abide by the law. You're not allowed to touch me." (And if they come back at you either then, or later in life and bring up how "oh, Don't touch hannah. She'll freak out." Just own every fucking inch of it. Do not give away your power. You get salty and sarcastic and says with calm and poise something like, "that's right, baby. You learned that the hard way how to treat other humans and women, but don't worry, you're learning."I'm trying to think of other Creeptron 4,000 situations but I can't! But basically, go with the minor thing. It's all about shutting people down so they get scared of you making a scene/calling them out so that they'll leave you alone. Also, never go running at night. Try not to go alone. Don't run with your earbuds in/your music so loud that you can't hear someone coming up behind you. And Head On A Swivel. Always be looking around. Look for the usually runners you see and for the random people you never see. If you think you're being followed, switch sides of the street. Take a weird turn, call/text someone to meet you outside their house or your house. Change your route. Carry mace. And just head in a swivel. Don't look like an easy target for creepers. Creepys/rapists want easy. Most of them will not chase you. So if someone does put their hands on you, fight like hell, make noise, scratch the shit out of them (like Nesta before the Cauldron if you've read ACOMAF). And the second you get free run. Man. I hope his helps. I feel like i have just rambled. But feel free to leave more asks. Sometime specific questions or situations jog my memory better.

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surveys-at-your-service · 7 years

Text

Survey #53

“easy to be sleazy when you’ve got a filthy mind.”

what's the last movie you watched on your own? i couldn't tell you. i don't watch movies on my own, it's boring. what about the last movie you watched with another person? chelsea and i had "gbf" on netflix, but we didn't really watch it. what about the last movie you saw at the cinema? was it good? colleen, chelsea, and i saw "trolls" for a buck. it was SOOOO cute. do you attend school, college, or uni? an art university, yeah. what do you study, wherever you study? digital photography. kisses on the cheek or the neck? cheek if you wanna be casual, but neck kisses if you want me to rip your fucking clothes off lmao. how do you earn your keep? i don't work. i'm ashamed of it, but i don't and can't work like a "normal" human being. i'm trying to find a job with my very limiting criteria, but it's not easy, at all. i doubt i'll ever have a proper job until i can be a freelance photographer. if you could speak three different languages fluently, what would they be? GERMAN, latin, and ummm... i mean i guess spanish, because it'd be most convenient to me. who do you usually text the most? my mom or my best friend colleen. shaved legs or shaved arms? legs. i don't shave my arms. fried, poached, boiled or scrambled eggs? i like scrambled and cheesy eggs. have you ever been surprised with breakfast in bed? no. it'd be nice at least once. have you always got good grades? from elementary all the way through high school, yeah. i'm struggling in college... list four things about your facial appearance: i have blue eyes, glasses, no freckles, and a piercing on the right side of my nose. list four things about your general appearance: i'm overweight because fuck heartbreak, i'm white, i have no ass, and i have large breasts. list four things you like about yourself: i'm passionate as fuck, i honestly think i have good morals, i'm loyal, and very understanding. list four things you dislike about yourself: i'd kill for one man, i'm jealous to the point of hatred, i overreact to literally everything, i can't socialize, you want me to go on? this quiz is pretty different to others, right? lmao you ruined it cats or dogs? while i personally find felines to be more interesting as animals, i prefer dogs as pets. are you hungry right now? no. my appetite pill is actually working. what do you think of couples who have entire albums just for them, with pictures of them just randomly at home, doing nothing that really requires a photo? lmao i was one of those people, i love it! document your story! it's beautiful! can you work the washing machine? ... no. embarrassing, right. idk what settings to put it on. do you like your photo being taken? NO. other people don't know how to flatter my face. do you like taking photos of yourself? i mean, i'm a photographer, so every now and again. next gig you're going to? who knows? i'd like to go to the carolina rebellion this year, BADLY, but money is such an issue in my family. favorite color? maroon, baby. when do you plan on moving out? when i'm with a significant other. i used to believe i could live on my own in an apartment or something, but no. depression would consume me entirely. is there someone in your life you wish you never met? of course there is. jabari, who tried raping my sister right in front of me, for one. dustin, ashley's ex, who did nothing but break her heart and abuse her. there are more. i personally don't believe everyone comes into one's life for a reason. who/what is your favorite cartoon character? i don't really know. i like garfield. and courage the cowardly dog. what do you think of your mother? she's very supportive, loving, funny, rational, and serves as my rock. i'd be lost as fuck if i didn't have my mom. just sometimes, she thinks she knows more than she does about me. your father? i love him so much and i live in constant regret about hating him for so many years. i wish i'd burned that letter i wrote him in opposition of actually sending that shit, because i wonder all the time if he still thinks about what i told him. he'd do anything for me, and i hope i can repay him for that one day. your siblings (if there are any)? tiffany: i don't know you, but i wish i did. misty: you're great, and i miss you. katie: you confuse me, but i still love you and hope you're okay. bobby: hey now, you're an all-star. seeing you with christian lights up my whole world. i hope i'm half the parent you are some day. ashley: we're too much alike in an odd way. you've been through so much, yet you've come so far as a person. i mean jesus christ, you're a radiologist! and to know you were once suicidal, that's so inspirational to me. you have a husband who loves you, even after, like me, believing you could never love another. you have two beautiful children who love you so much, but i wonder if they can ever love you like i do. nicole: i worry about you. you need to leave that damn boy, he's not good enough for you, and he is going to drag you down. you're too big and bold a person to be chained. i worry about your happiness quotient as long as he's around, but regardless, i know you're going to go pretty damn far. how many hours do you spend online a day? i don't really know, but i can't say i care too much. i don't get why people treat the internet like it's so horrible. like, let's think about it. most people, when they have nothing better to do, what do they do? they watch television. i sit on the computer instead. at least i'm engaging my brain. explain your current feelings for your last ex bf/gf: i'm entirely aware i'm more than in love with him, i'm obsessed with him. you ain't truly been in love until it gets that far, hunny. how do you feel about teen relationships? they're fine? they can lead to a forever relationship. who’s room of the opposite sex were you in last? when? uhhh. my dad's and his wife's when i was passing through to go take a shower. what are your views on homosexuals in general? they're just as human as a heterosexual, if not more open-minded as half the heterosexual populace has issue with them. do you and any of your friends have a "song?" ha ha ha, yeah. colleen and i say our "song" is that country piece called "friends" by ummm... blake shelton, i think? it's such a cutesy song, and when she first showed it to me, she said it made her think of us. i hate country, yet i still jam out with her every time we hear it. (: which is more important to you - friends or family? family. who says some friends can't be family? which is worse - smoking, drinking, or drugs? drugs. easily. allow me to also clarify, alcohol is a drug, so drinking is pretty equal? nicotine is a drug too, right? is there one person you would seriously kill if you could get away with it? um. only if i wouldn't feel guilty. which i would. what is the last scary movie that actually scared you? the only scary movie to ever scare me is "the rite." only because it played with an irrational fear of mine: being impregnated by satan or a demon in general. i'm afraid of pregnancy period, but the idea of it being the devil's child and it ripping out of your fucking stomach like can you not what are you listening to? "gospel" by panic! at the disco. i love his voice in this song so fucking much. them high notes in the chorus, tho. what is something you and your significant other do that may seem weird to others? i'm single. how long have you liked the person you like right now? five years how many shots can you take? i've never taken a shot before, and truly, i don't really want to. i mean i'm sure i will at some point, i just don't have the desire to because i hate the taste of alcohol, and shots are so concentrated. what's a fact about the last person you kissed? he just turned 23. do you think you're old? no, shame i feel it, though. are you a jealous person? in general? actually, no. i only get jealous when it comes to jason. when is the next time you will kiss someone? you tell me. has anybody ever accused you of doing drugs? i don't think so. do you have a passion for anything? meerkats!! photography!! silent hill and gaming in general!! rhett and link/gmm!! heavy metal!! are you a romantic person? i honestly think i am. what do you think of when i say "lumberjack?" lmao omg the first thing that came to mind was rhett singing and dancing to the song he made up on the high-heeled lumberjack challenge on gmm. how many children do you want? one-three. one if childbirth/pregnancy was way too much, two is most likely, three is a big maybe. do you like mexican food? nope. do you have a favorite author? not really. do you have an ex who still talks to you? do they want to be with you again? if juan even counts, yeah, we talk like what, less than even once a month. he's made it apparent he wants to be with me again, but pretty sure he's a player, so. do your legs get really itchy after shaving them? christ, yeah. my left leg got so itchy once after shaving that i have a large scar going up my shin from scratching it so badly. even putting lotion on didn't help. do you wear a ring on your finger? yeah, a ruby/garnet/whatever ring on my right ring finger. i just put it on permanently the other day. i got it for christmas. have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? it is pierced. i've thought of taking it out in favor of getting the septum pierced though, but i changed my mind. have you kissed anyone with a tattoo before? no, but a guy with a tattoo has kissed me. which berry is your favorite? strawberries, definitely. have you ever tried to learn a foreign language? i took four semesters of german. would you rather swim in a lake or the ocean? lake. do you love seeing frost hanging off leaves in the winter? omg yaaass would you ever like to own a chandelier? hell yeah. i'm big on those creepy octopus chandeliers. when is the last time you went to a carnival? oh fuck me. last time i went to a carnival/festival one night was over a year ago with jason and dillon. i went on a ride i was terrified of (jason was a bit iffy too; he doesn't like heights), and dillon made a self-mutilation joke that nearly ruined the whole night. how many notebooks do you own? are they all filled? oh jeez. LOADS. i have a drawer filled with 'em... i wanna throw them out though. really old, embarrassing writings. have you ever lived on a university campus? no. what’s your favorite alcoholic beverage? mike's hard, i guess. not like i've tried many. when was the last time you saw a photo of your ex? long-ish time ago. i have a picture from our prom beside my bed, but it's buried beneath papers. so probably the last time i checked his facebook months ago. do you “binge-watch” tv shows? haven't done that since "sherlock" with jason. do you play any games on your phone? not anymore. i had pokemon go, but i had to get rid of it after i ran out of room on my phone, despite having deleted every other app but pinterest and my period tracker. not like it's really a fun game for rural players, anyway. you never have pokeballs because pokestops don't exist. have you ever shaved your face? no. i mean i've waxed my eyebrows and lip and plucked stray hairs on my chin, but never shaved it. what was the last vaccination you got? no idea. probably for an std, y'know, those shots you get as a teenager. how long does it usually take you to get over a break up? lmao been a year and a handfull of months, still not over it. do you get motion sickness? nope. do you often forget what you were just about to say? always. makes me feel stupid. how many blue-eyed people have you kissed? none. do you have a friend named holly? i knew a holly in elementary school, but she was never my friend. what are your parents' middle names? marie and john. does frequent use of swear words offend or upset you? not at all, because i don't believe in our definition of "profanity." who honestly gives a valid fuck about whether a word is "bad" or not. what makes a word "bad," anyway? however, i do believe in harmful words that i don't like hearing. like, calling someone a bitch, to me, is just as bad as calling someone a mean person. because they mean the same thing. what makes "bitch" worse? also, i hate derogatory terms to certain groups, like "the 'n' word" for black people. otherwise, "swear" all you want, i really don't care. when/where did you meet your first love? well, to be technical, facebook. i thought he was a jason i did know, so i accepted his friend request. thank god i did. he wanted to be my friend to begin with because he saw me in the hallway at school and, according to him, he thought immediately, "that girl's going to save me." he remembers exactly what I was wearing, everything. how he found my facebook, i guess i should probably wonder, lol. it's so funny, how he claims i was going to save him. and now i'm the one who needs him. funny shit. how many facebook friends do you have? uhhhh 126, i think? which one of your relatives are you most likely to argue/disagree with? MY GRANDMA HOLY FUCK have your parents met the person you're currently interested in? yes, they have. who was your first major crush? i'm not entirely sure. maybe this kid named dylan? do you still talk to that person? haven't in well over a decade. lmao wait, did i ever even talk to him? i just thought he was super cute. is there anything you need to do, that you're trying to avoid doing? yeah. i hate late homework. do you have any drinking cups with disney characters on them? we haven't for years. well, wait. we may still have some. will you be moving anytime soon? probably. we were supposed to get evicted because mom can't afford the rent, yet we're still here. but our landlord won't be merciful forever; mom still can't pay for it. have you ever written a book? perhaps you are writing one right now? never finished any... oh yeah! but one from when i was younger. favorite flavored milk shake? vanilla do you or your best friend play in a band? nah. can two living souls become one? figuratively, sure, literally, no. last song you listened to and what does it mean to you? i'm listening to "ready to go" by panic! at the disco. first time listening to it; i'm on a panic! streak. it just started, so no opinion yet. have you seen the entire harry potter series? no. jason and i watched a couple of the movies, but i could never get into it. have you ever been put to sleep for surgery? i actually don't know. i had tubes put in my ears as a baby, but i don't remember it at all. have you ever had a pregnancy scare? okay this is funny. despite never having sex, my anxiety made me believe by some miracle dry-humping had gotten me pregnant because i missed my period. like i was so panicked i was even talking about it with jason. god bless that man, i can only IMAGINE what he must've thought. when was the last time you went bowling? some months ago with colleen, bradley, and girt. are you expected to help fix thanksgiving dinner? no. have you ever lost anyone close to cancer? no, thank god. do you personally know anyone who is transgender? i don't think so. what’s your favorite flavor of potato chip? original is the shit. what’s your favorite type of juice? i really like mango. what was the hardest language you’ve ever tried to learn? dude, fuck latin. do you know anyone named amity? no, but that's a cool name! what do you think of people who always wear make-up? i really try not to have an opinion because that's really not my business at all, but i can't help but feel a bit sad. like... i dunno, i just think you should be more comfortable with your own skin instead of always feeling like you've gotta cover it. my older sister was like that for years, and it always made me sad, because she's so beautiful. she wouldn't go out without it or take pictures if she didn't have some on. is there a smell that gives you headaches? gasoline. what’s your least favorite thing about summer? everything? can i say everything??? have you ever wanted to vlog? not really. i lead a boring life and i am WAY too shy and awkward. do you have any of the guitar heroes/rock bands? plenty. original, ac/dc, metallica, green day, van halen, greatest hits, and i'm positive i'm missing some. have you ever worn flip flops in the snow? lmao yes. do you ever wonder what your ex or most recent “thing” is up to? of course i do. have you ever moved to a different state? nope. been in nc my whole life. have you ever been to germany? no, but i'd REALLY like to go! what decade do you think is the best musically? hm. '80s. have you ever written poetry or fiction? yup. some cringy stuff lmao. have you ever lived with your girlfriend/boyfriend? yes. we lived with another couple, who were our friends. how do you feel about your relationship status? it's boring and lonely. how many relationships have you been in? one legitimate one. one puppy-love. one misunderstanding that lasted less than a day. what’s something you do that really frustrates people who are closest to you? i can be VERY passive and submissive. like, ask me what i wanna do? "i don't care." wanna do this, brittany? "if you want to." is this fine for dinner, brittany? "sure, if you feel like making it." colleen HATES this about me. do you care what people think? sometimes. sometimes not at all. sometimes way too much. is there anyone in your life that knows right away something’s wrong with you? not anymore. jason was like that. it was supernatural. do you like the color yellow? no, actually. what was your favorite game when you were a child? the spyro games. when was the last time you had blood drawn? last time i was at the er for mental reasons. they always take your blood to ensure you're not on drugs. have you ever hated someone but felt pity for them at the same time? honestly? no. what eyeshadow color suits you best? black, baby. in regards to kissing, full on making-out or will a peck suffice? depends on where we are and how passionate we're feeling. are you a ke$ha fan? no. how short is too short for shorts/skirts? please at least keep your full ass covered. have you even swam in a lake? did you freak out about the germs, afterwards? i have, and not particularly. have you ever snuck-out to see a guy? nope. does your cell-phone take decent pictures? NO. i actually still have my old phone just to take my selfies lmao. have you ever sexted? it's my biggest regret. have you ever posed topless with a friend? i have not. do you shed hair everywhere you go? ha ha yeah. where do you part your hair? to the far left do you talk with your hands? absolutely. jason used to make fun of me for it, then he started to do it. do guy's adams apple's gross you out? no. lil' wayne, hopsin, kanye west, or kid cudi? i don't particularly like any of them, but there is a song by hopsin that makes me laugh. have you ever questioned your mental health? i'm not questioning it, i've accepted it. when you go to the beach, are you swimming, tanning, playing, or searching for shells? swimming and looking for shells! do you wash your hair every day? no, that's bad for you. do you have long eyelashes? my old english teacher stopped class just to point out they were once lmao.

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