Tumgik
#wow it has been many years since i read that book and apparently i STILL HAVE OPINIONS ABOUT IT
trans-cuchulainn · 1 year
Text
love when i see a book rec list where half the items on it are things i liked / thought were okay / haven't read but am intrigued by... and then there's just one thing on there i hate and it ruins the whole list for me. i'm like. sorry. if you enjoyed the vibes of XYZ i cannot trust your taste at all. i object.
#saw an arthurian novel i really really disliked on a list earlier#and was like oh we have wildly different ideas about what makes a good lancelot story#i can't trust ANY of your recommendations anymore#(what i think makes a good lancelot story: loyal idiot#self sacrifice. absurd social rituals. himbo knights. shenanigans.#unfortunately i cannot STAND lancelot books that put him in like. post roman britain#and cut out the christian elements#– if it is a secondary world that's different but historical that just does not work –#regardless of your feelings about christianity lancelot is incredibly christian#if you want a post roman early arthurian knight who is all gritty and pagan#don't fucking pick the french guy known for his part in the grail cycle#omg like it's just all wrong for him)#wow it has been many years since i read that book and apparently i STILL HAVE OPINIONS ABOUT IT#i just. argh. there are OTHER KNIGHTS. you don't have to do this to Lancelot#they wanna do the whole doomed love triangle and i'm like#but that's the least interesting thing about lancelot#or like. they always do it in really boring ways#i want 100% more chaos#i want galehaut to be there because. it's better that way#i want – and i cannot stress this enough – lancelot to have zero braincells#also the really annoying thing about the list in question is that i know a book that DOES do what the original asker wanted#but it isn't published yet#goddamn author friends not releasing their books according to my recommendation needs#néide has opinions about books
9 notes · View notes
unicornmachine · 12 days
Text
Unicornmachine AO3 Masterlist
Okay I've wanted to make this post forever so here we go~
For starters, absolutely none of these are safe for work, they are all so very explicit, I'm sorry.
Fiolee
OMG did this pairing possess me (and continues to...) there are so many stories I’ve written for them I’m making a read more break here.
Love in the Moonlight
Summary: Fionna the Human drops by the Candy Palace for the Biennial Gumball Ball, but she doesn't get much dancing done as she's approached by Marshall Lee the Vampire King. She hasn't seen him in years, since she's gone off on rumors searching for a new Enchiridion in Aaa and he's been spending his time in the Nightosphere, and wow. He's just as she remembered, down to the incessant flirting. Let's see if he can make good on any of these promises.
First off, okay, let me just say this was my OG Fiolee fic and the first fanfic I had written in well over a decade. I started out like many authors writing fanfics as a teenager but stopped when I started working on original works. I published three OC books IRL and really enjoyed writing them but there's something about writing fanfics that is just... so much more fun to me. I rewatched Adventure Time and remembered how much I always loved the Fiolee pairing, so I tried to look them up on AO3 to read about them... AND THERE WAS HARDLY ANYTHING!
Oh no, I told myself, I will just write one little fanfic for fun, for old times sake! WHAT A LIE THAT TURNED OUT TO BE.
I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I wrote Love in the Moonlight, but I'm so happy I did.
The Deal
Summary: In a moment of desperation Fionna makes a deal with Marshall Lee the Vampire King.
Oh man... The concept of this fic was so undoing to me, a human making a deal with a vampire? A little of their blood in exchange for some necessary help? UGH!!!
A Challenge Between Friends
Summary: In an attempt to win a challenge to scare Fionna, Marshall Lee accidentally takes things too far while exploring a dungeon and loses his grip on himself.
My friend and I were literally feral coming up with the concept of this. I mean... sexy vampire? Dungeon sex? Marshall sucking the red coloring out of Fionna's bra? WHO SITS AROUND AND DISCUSSES THIS STUFF WITH THEIR FRIENDS?! Me, apparently!
Fionna Campbell: Vampire Hunter
Summary: After 1000 years of peace vampire attacks are popping up and it seems a new vampire is preying on the land. Who better to cleanse the land of this new evil than the original vampire hunter, Marshall Lee the Vampire King. He’ll just need some human bait.
This fic... OMG this fic, this fic, this fic... This is probably my favorite story I've ever written. It is so self-indulgent to me and I honestly had so much fun writing it.
The Star
Summary: Fionna travels through the multiverse, to the universe where the vampires won on a mission to retrieve Simone a new crown. While traveling through the wreckage of this strange, new Aaa she meets The Star.
All I could think while watching the Fionna and Cake episode about Marceline becoming The Star was... WHAT IF WE FLIPPED THIS? AND MARSHALL WAS THE STAR? AND HE CAPTURES FIONNA?! hahahahahaha!!!
There are also multiple one-shots and smaller stories on my AO3 featuring this pairing. Love in the Moonlight has a follow up that is still in progress that is linked to the original fic. One may argue this is simply too much Fiolee porn for one person to write. The only thing I can think is... it's never enough.
Huntbunny
Ahhh! This pairing is so cute! I love the idea of Fionna and Hunter Wizard. I haven't written NEARLY enough of these two, but I have more stories in progress.
The Magic Flower
Summary: Fionna runs into trouble deep in a forest on a mission to retrieve a magic flower. Thankfully, someone finds her and helps her out...
So, this story came from a friend sending me some very explicit Huntbunny fanart from the X artist Yakza_draw. I wrote a story to go with the art and sent it to the artist as a thank you for her making such a wonderful work. She ended up becoming a very dear friend of mine, so this fic will always have a special place in my heart.
The Traveling Fountain
Summary: A string of misfortunes leads to Fionna being knocked unconscious and Cake trapped in a moving cave inside an enchanted forest. Hopefully her new friend can help her find a way to rescue her sister and get to the bottom of where all this rotten luck is coming from.
6 notes · View notes
punchdrunkdoc · 2 years
Text
Updated K-drama list (9)
Wow, its been a WHILE since I’ve done one of these! I haven’t watched as many new shows as I’d have liked in the past couple of years (my watchlist is out of control!) but I thought it was time to add them here. Its mostly for my benefit, so I can keep track of what I’ve seen, but if you’re looking for recommendation or you’re a newby to Kdramas wondering where to start, I hope this helps! 
The GREAT (i.e. my top 21 - I couldn’t narrow it down to an even 20!)
1. Its Ok To Not Be Okay
A children’s author with antisocial personality disorder becomes obsessed with a handsome (but closed-off) carer in a mental health hospital. 
Tumblr media
I could (and already have) written loads about this show - it became my all-encompassing obsession for the 8 weeks it was on telly. I LOVE IT SO MUCH!! I had a feeling only 1 episode in that it might become my all-time favourite K-drama, and I was right. The quality never dropped for a moment, and it absolutely nailed the ending. 
I pretty much love everything about it - the whimsical, fairytale-esque tone, the music, the costumes, the supporting characters, the side-plots exploring different mental health issues, the humour, the set design, even the opening credits!
The two leads are so beautiful with SO MUCH chemistry that you could watch them read a phone book and it would be hot. But it became a real three-hander of a show, with the male lead’s autistic brother forming an integral part of the relationship dynamic. 
Honestly, I can’t do this show justice with such a short review - just WATCH IT!!
Male lead: Soooo handsome, quiet and compassionate but with a steel core; it’s so fun watching him come out of his shell. Actor also seen in (AASI): My Love from a Star (honestly, he didn’t make much of an impression in that show, but he was amazing in this - he conveys so much emotion with the most subtle facial movements)
Female lead: Absolutely fascinating; so wounded and vulnerable, but projecting this awesome, no-fucks-given, blunt-as-hell exterior. Actress also seen in (AASI): Lawless Lawyer, Hwarang (minor character)
2. Crash Landing on You
He’s from North Korea. She’s from South Korea. They never should have met, but they’ll change each other’s lives.
Tumblr media
This was my first K-drama, and although it’s been knocked off the top spot, it’s still fantastic. Its the full package - the entire cast of characters is great, the lead romance is ANGSTALICIOUS and its genuinely, laugh out loud funny (when its not making you cry or swoon). I’ve since discovered that they had a North Korean defector as a consultant working on the show, so apparently the NK scenes are fairly accurate which is SUPER interesting.
Male lead: Officially the best boyfriend ever - absolutely nails the small, romantic gestures. AASI: Hyde, Jekyll & Me.
Female lead: Smart, sassy, and funny. I love her.
3. Red sleeve - NEW ENTRY
A court romance between the leader of Joseon - who believes his duty is to his country first above love - and a headstrong court lady who wants to protect the life she has chosen
Tumblr media
This is, without doubt, the best historical Kdrama I’ve ever seen. Sorry, Love in the Moonlight, you’ve been kicked out of the top 10!
The whole thing is beautifully made, from the gorgeous music and cinematography, to the fully realised characters, to the slow-burn pace of the heart-wrenchingly beautiful, bittersweet love story. Speaking of the which, I didn’t realise when I started the show that it was based on a true story. I ended up googling the ending, and I’m glad I did, because it helped prepare me for the last episode (top tip: If you want a happy ending I’d advise skipping that episode; but if you enjoy crying for 90mins straight, watch it). The two leads of the show are phenomenal - especially Lee Jun-Ho. He will tear your heart out.
Male lead - Has the weight of the world on his shoulders. You really feel it when he becomes torn between his duty and his heart. A brilliant performance. AASI: Just between lovers. 
Female lead: Funny and clever with a core of steel. You can absolutely see how she steals the King’s heart. 
4. W - Two worlds
A surgeon gets sucked into the world of her father’s webtoon when the main character’s life is threatened.
Tumblr media
This was a WILD ride! The first 4 episodes barrelled through plot at an amazing rate and certain events happen in episode 5 that had me wondering how the show could even continue! But it did…and the plot just got more insane! I loved this show SO much. It kept me guessing, had me on the edge of my seat, and even had room for some of my favourite romance tropes. The central relationship was great, and (because of the insane plot) you basically get 2 love stories for the price of 1. It keeps creeping up my rankings because its a show I come back to again and again. 
Male lead: Just a really, really cool guy. Can’t think of how else to describe him! Always in control, calm, unflappable, analysing the situation….but he can break out the cocky charm when needed. AASI: While you were sleeping, Doctor Stranger
Female lead: I really liked her - she had more agency than a lot of other female heroines and I really related to her freaked-out panic in the beginning when she didn’t feel like she was a capable enough doctor to save a life.
5. Itaewon Class
A young man’s life is forever altered when he runs afoul of a powerful family.
Tumblr media
This felt like a big step up in quality from everything else in this list, in terms of the production, soundtrack (which was brilliant), the lack of twee sound effects, and just the overall ‘real world’ feel of the show. All of the characters were fleshed out and 3-dimensional, and they all had their ‘moment’ to shine. The story itself was gripping and so well done - some of the twists and reveals had me gasping! And what can I say about the 2 leads? I love them, both separately, and together. He is so wise beyond his years, and his journey will break your heart and inspire you. She is borderline sociopathic, but I adore her.
Male lead: Tenacious, principled, kind, innocent, caring, driven, loyal…and he can cook! AASI: What’s wrong with secretary Kim, Fight for my way, Hwarang (and soon to be part of the MCU!)
Female lead: One of the most original Kdrama female characters I’ve seen. Plus she retains her agency all the way through, which is (unfortunately) not always the case with these shows. 
6. Healer
The lives, and pasts, of a hot shot reporter, a spunky young tabloid journalist and a mysterious thief-for-hire intersect.
Tumblr media
I ADORE this show and its so rewatchable. The plot was tight and engaging, and this is one of the few shows I’ve watched where there didn’t seem to be a lot of filler. The central 3 characters are great, and the romance was amazing. I especially loved that the male lead started off such a brooding loner, but he became super-affectionate as soon as he admitted his feelings. So many good hugs and lots of face-cradling in this one. There’s also a great riff on the Superman/Clark Kent dynamic which was fun!
Male lead: Effortlessly beats up 2 henchmen while comforting his girl over the phone. What more do you need? AASI: The K2, Suspicious Partner, Melting me softly, Backstreet Rookie, Lovestruck in the City
Female lead: She doesn’t let her vulnerabilities stop her from getting the story or being with the man she loves. AASI: What’s wrong with secretary Kim, I’ll go to you when the weather is nice, Her private life
7. While you were sleeping
Not to be confused with the Sandra Bullock rom-com from the 90s. Instead, this is about a young woman who can dream the future, who has her fate changed by a young prosecutor who suddenly develops the same ability
Tumblr media
I was thoroughly and utterly charmed by this show. Everything was so beautifully done - from the cinematography, to the music (OMG the music!), even the title cards were interesting and quirky. The characters were all great - the main leads are so sweet and relatable, the second lead is cute-as-a-button, the villain is properly hissable, and none of the supporting characters/extras annoyed me! The storyline itself was brilliant, with so many great set-ups, pay-offs and twists, and the romance was lovely.
Male lead: A bit of a hot mess of a human being (basically, the polar opposite of his character in W!)…but all the more loveable for it. AASI: W: 2 worlds, Doctor stranger.
Female lead: Smart, sweet, loyal (I really loved her relationship with her mum) and quietly brave.
8. Descendants of the Sun
A special forces Captain meets a capable and beautiful trauma surgeon. They feel an instant bond, but their jobs and philosophy on life get in the way, threatening to tear them apart.
Tumblr media
I absolutely LOVE the male lead character, and the romance in this was beautiful (as was the bromance!). Plus its chock-full of CompetencePorn, with lots of scenes of people being really, really good at their jobs (this is one of my favourite things!). However, it didn’t quite nail the angst, and the last minute was a bit twee which dropped it down the rankings a bit.
Male lead: A cocky, charming, absolute BADASS with the most adorable, cheeky smile. AASI: Vincenzo
Female lead: Sweet and a bit out of her depth in the dangerous situations…but put her in charge of a patient and watch her go!
9. What’s Wrong with Secretary Kim
A personal assistant decides to quits her job in order to get a life. Her boss has other ideas.
Tumblr media
This was my first Park Seo Joon drama, and he’s great in it. He somehow turns a self-centred, entitled and vain boss into an endearing character! The central romance is amazing - I can rewatch their scenes again and again - and its a bit more mature than some of the others on this list (be sure to check out the extended scene!!). It has some of the best kisses in Kdrama.
Male lead: Like I said, somehow makes vanity and narcissism endearing. Also not afraid to get his shirt off and flash his 6-pack. Bonus. AASI: Itaewon Class, Fight for my way, Hwarang
Female lead: I’m a sucker for uber-competent people so I loved this character. Park Min Young has become one of my favourites, and she is STUNNING in this. AASI: I’ll go to you when the weather is nice, Healer, Her private life
10. Alchemy of Souls - NEW ENTRY
In a world of magic and soul-shifting, a powerful female assassin agrees to be Master to a young, irreverent mage. 
Tumblr media
Wow. This was fantasy drama done realllllllly well. The world-building was excellent (you easily come to understand the rules and limitations of the sorcery used) and the effects and imagery were great. The love story at the heart is wonderful - it helps casting Lee Jae-wook who is effortlessly cheeky and charming, but when he flexes his power, he looks ultra-cool. There are more episodes coming in December (Thank God! The ending of S1 nearly broke me!) so I’ll have to see if they stick the landing. 
Male lead: His laidback, irreverant facade hides a deep hurt, and a powerful, righteous soul. I love him. AASI: Extraordinary you (seond lead), Do Do Sol Sol La La Sol,  When the Weather is Nice (supporting character)
Female lead: I love her too! She’s stern and uncompromising, but when she finally opens her heart and learns to love, you just want all the good things for her. AASI: Because This is My First Life
11. Flower of Evil - NEW ENTRY
A police detective starts to suspect her loving husband may be a killer.
Tumblr media
This was a fantastic character study, mystery and exploration of a relationship. The suspense almost killed me at times! I’m usually more of a fan about stories that take place at the beginning of a relationship rather than 14 years in, but I became so invested in them as a family. The choral music is a bit overwrought at times, but that’s one of my only complaints. I could never have imagined where they took things in the last episode but it was really good and an interesting way to further explore the character (I thought it would be cheesy, but it was so well done). Plus the most adorable little girl EVER stars in this.
Male lead: His struggles to desperately keep his family together (even though he didn’t fully understand the feelings they inspired in him) was heartbreaking - he is soooo good in this. AASI: Lawless Lawyer, Scarlet Heart
Female lead: Competent and compassionate. You’re heart aches for her when her world starts to fall apart. 
12. Love in the Moonlight / Moonlight Drawn by Clouds
A young woman poses as a eunuch in the Royal Palace and falls in love with the Crown Prince
Tumblr media
This was the first period piece I watched and it’s still one of my favourites - almost entirely because of the male lead and his beautiful face! The start had a really light, comedic tone (and a lot of modern anachronisms - high fives everywhere!) and I loved all the identity-concealing hi-jinks. But then the romance kicked into gear and the DELICIOUS angst started flowing, and I became obsessed with it. It’s like loads of bits of my favourite regency historical romances were mashed up and transported to the Joseon Dynasty. I loved it so much!
Male lead: Manages to look amazingly handsome despite all the period headgear, kicks ass with a sword, and doesn’t allow himself to be manipulated by the corrupt officials surrounding him. Also acts like an adorable goofball when he’s in love.
Female lead: Loved her at the start - she’s scrappy and independent and capable. Unfortunately, becomes too much of a plot device by the end. AASI: Backstreet Rookie
13. I’ll Go to You When the Weather is Nice / I’ll Find You on a Beautiful Day
A cellist disillusioned with life in Seoul returns to her small home town for the winter.
Tumblr media
This was achingly sweet and wonderful. The slow unfolding of the story, the beautiful scenery, and the simple yet moving score all combine to make this feel like the type of small town contemporary romance novel I love to read on a rainy day in front of a fire. Whilst long-held, painful secrets are eventually revealed, there is no massive conflict involved, with no antagonist or over-wrought external drama. Its just the tale of two sad, lonely people who have withdrawn from the world forming a connection with each other and trying to overcome their issues (she has a fear of abandonment; he’s a loner who has a tendency to disappear). As a bonus, there’s a bookclub with a wonderful cast of secondary characters - I wanted to spend more time with all of them.
Male Lead: Precious Cinnamon Roll, to be protected at all costs. AASI: Are you human too
Female lead: Wears her heart on her sleeve. Refreshingly, she’s the instigator of the relationship and isn’t the usual passive, coy female. AASI: What’s wrong with secretary Kim, Healer, Her private life
14. Goblin
A 900yr old immortal guardian finally meets the ‘bride’ who will end his existence
Tumblr media
Once I got over the slight ick-factor of the age difference between the two characters at the beginning, I really fell for this show and it’s world. It had me in floods of tears at some points, and it was laugh out loud funny at others. I especially loved the secondary character of the Grim Reaper and his reluctant bromance with the Goblin.
Male lead: Surprising innocent and funny for a 900 year old
Female lead: Also innocent, but in some ways wise beyond her years. Her tears will make you cry (the actress is very good at sobbing her heart out!). AASI: The King, eternal monarch
15. Legend of the Blue Sea
A mermaid comes onto land to find the man she loves
Tumblr media
The (literal) fish-out-of-water scenes in the first half of this show were hilarious - the actress is a comic genius! The romance was nicely done, and there wasn’t a lot of extraneous plot or too many characters. It also nicely incorporates scenes from the Joseon era, so you get a partial historical romance thrown in for free!
I couldn’t stop watching this one and I’ve since rewatched it too! Definitely one to check out.
Male lead: Cocky, arrogant conman with a soft mushy centre. AASI: The King, Eternal monarch, Heirs.
Female lead: Steals the show - funny, smart and beautiful. AASI: My love from the Star.
16. Into the Ring/The Ballot
An out-of-work young woman decides to run for office and faces all sorts of challenges in her quest to right some wrongs and earn a living.
Tumblr media
This show has one of my favourite ever female characters - she’s headstrong, hard working, and quick to violence but so cute and charming with the most adorable laugh! She tries to act all cynical (that she’s only in it for the money) but she is actually really caring and kind. I sooo wanted her to succeed against the establishment of corrupt assholes that she worked with. Seeing her become disillusioned with politics and her colleagues was heartbreaking, and watching her fight back was great.
Her dynamic with the male lead was also great - he’s quietly in awe of her even when he’s exasperated and borderline scared of her.  And he’s super supportive. It was so much fun watching her drag him out of his monotonous, dull life. They also weren’t stingy with the PDA which was so refreshing.
On a superficial level, the show was also visually interesting, with loads of cool angles and blue lens flare. And the overall light, funny tone made it so watchable. 
Male lead: Adorkable
Female lead: The literal embodiment of sunshine and determination. I have a bit of a crush on her!
17. The King: Eternal Monarch
The reigning King of the Kingdom of Corea discovers a gateway to a parallel world - the Republic of Korea
Tumblr media
This is the first drama I’ve watched in ‘real time’ but I think it would work better as a binge - there are a LOT of characters, and many have dopplegangers (because of the parallel world thing) so it became hard to keep track of who was who. I also think the progression of the romance is better appreciated in a binge (I wrote about it here - ignore the speculation; i got it so wrong LOL!). Unfortunately, the plot also had major holes in it (the ‘rules’ for the gateway/magical flute didn’t make sense) and It was difficult at times to differentiate Corea from Korea - a major failing of the editing.  
Buuuuuut, it still made my ‘Great’ list because all of those issues were outweighed by the sheer epicness of this show. The gorgeous sets, the dramatic scenery, the ANGST-filled, beautiful romance…at one point the King rides a majestic white horse into battle with a sword on a neon-lit highway to save the woman he loves. I mean, come on! Plus, its really funny - the ‘fish out of water’ scenes when the King first arrives in Korea, the chalk and cheese dopplegangers Yeong and Eun-Seob, the King’s constant threats of beheading…I loved those elements so much!
Male lead:  Gives Ri Jeong-Hyeok from CHOY a run for his money in the ‘Best Boyfriend’ competition.  AASI: Legend of the blue sea, Heirs.
Female lead: A bad-ass cop. Takes a while to believe Lee Gon’s story, but once she decides to go all in…she goes all in, and loves unreservedly with her whole heart. AASI: Goblin
18. Tomorrow with you 
A time-traveller struggling to live in the present meets a woman trying to let go of her past.
Tumblr media
This reminded me a bit of ‘I’ll go to you when the weather is nice’ in terms of the melancholic tone, the simple but effective music, and the beautiful lighting etc. There were also some really interesting, innovative shots which I appreciated.
It took a few episodes to get into and it was a bit frustrating in the middle - so much could have been solved if people just TALKED to each other!! Plus the rules for this version of time travel weren’t really clear…But the last few episodes were brilliant; the way the story came together, and all the little bits of set up were paid off was really well done. These episodes alone were enough to bump this up to the ‘Great’ category (especially, given there was a bit of a Lake House vibe at one point - I’m a sucker for that movie). The romance was also beautifully portrayed; I could endlessly watch their domestic scenes - they had such good chemistry and banter.
Male lead: Absolutely, but endearingly, terrible at relationships. He ends up falling in love against his will and largely without realising it.
Female lead: A bit of a mess and a borderline alcoholic, but so cute and innocent. I love the way she talks to herself, she’s so funny! AASI: Oh My Venus
19. Fight for my Way
Two life-long friends decide to go after their dreams
Tumblr media
I fast-forwarded large chunks of this (I wasn’t interested in the secondary couple at all), but it still made my ‘Great’ list because this is one of the best friends-to-lovers stories I’ve seen. You truly buy that these 2 have known each other their entire lives (their  bickering and teasing feels so natural). And then when they take the next step, they’re so affectionate and refreshingly open with their feelings. Speaking of which, this also has some great kissing scenes (Park Seo Joon is the master!)
Male lead: I love his contradictions. He’s goofy and childish…but can really turn on the sexy charm; he’s a badass MMA fighter…who loves when his girlfriend sticks up for him and protects him. AASI: What’s wrong with secretary Kim, Itaewon class, Hwarang
Female lead: Takes no shit from anyone and will fight for her man! AASI: Descendants of the sun (secondary character)
20. Vincenzo - NEW ENTRY
A Korean man raised in the Italian mafia to be a mob lawyer returns to Seoul with some ulterior motives.
Tumblr media
This has the strange tone typical of Kdramas - one minute its a goofy comedy, the next some truly dark violence is going down - and it pulls it off really well.  The cast is all great, it was a unique story, and the male lead was charismatic as always. The story is not romance heavy - its got more of a found family vibe - but I still enjoyed it. It dragged a bit in the latter half, but that half contained some genuinely great moments. This is also the only kdrama my aunt and uncle have ever watched and they became obsessed with it. 
Male lead: Slick, dangerous and charming, with a heart of gold that he tries REALLY hard to hide. AASI: Descendents of the sun.
Female lead: Loud and ballsy with some questionable ethics - so not the typical Kdrama female! She was great. 
21. Suspicious Partner
A young, hardworking lawyer has her life turned upside down when she is put on trial for murder.
Tumblr media
This was officially bumped up the list a while ago, and I stand by the decision. Its still overly long, but the serial killer plot had some nice twists and it was central to the story, so it didn’t feel extraneous like some of these types of plots do. Mainly, I just loved the central romance - the 2 characters sparked off each other so well and I loved their evolution from sort-of enemies to lovers. This is another show where I can endlessly rewatch their scenes together.
Male lead: Its Ji Chang Wook! He’s so good at playing serious guys who are secretly big dorks. AASI: Healer, The K2, Melting me softly, Backstreet Rookie, Lovestruck in the City
Female lead: Fate deals her a shitty hand, but she perseveres with grace and determination. She’s great. AASI: Shopaholic Louis, 100 days my prince.
The GOOD (in no particular order)
Lovestruck in the city - NEW ENTRY
A documentary-style tale of different couples in Seoul
I loved the premise of this, and, unsually, I was just as invested in the secondary relationships as the main pair (they even introduced a final couple in the final episode and had me rooting for them - which is a testament to the good casting and chemistry). I have to admit I went off Chi Chang-wook after Backstreet Rookie (I loathed that show so much!) but he won me back here. Jae Won is such a charming mess!
Bring it on Ghost - NEW ENTRY
A man who can see ghosts starts working with one
I officially became an Ok Taecyeon fan after this - he’s adorable. The show is fun and rolicks along at a good pace. The central romance is really sweet with lovely angsty moments. Would definitely recommend. 
I Am Not a Robot
A man who is allergic to human contact finds companionship with a robot…or does he?
I honestly thought I wouldn’t make it passed a couple of episodes of this - the concept was just too ridiculous. But I’m glad I persevered, because it developed some real depth and some proper good angst towards the end and I LOVED the central relationship. I’ve rewatched loads of this one.
I Remember You
A famous criminal profiler gatecrashes the investigation of a serial killer, hoping it will restore the missing memories of his childhood trauma
I really liked the set up of this - the lead character is introduced like a young Sherlock Holmes (the music even reminded me of the score for the BBC Sherlock series). The super-observant, socially awkward thing kind of dropped off as the series progressed, but I still enjoyed how the plot developed, especially with Park Bo-Gum’s character; I’ve only ever seen him play innocent cutie-pies, so this role was a bit of a surprise!
The female lead was like an anime character come to life (she was petite and cute with enormous eyes), but I also loved her personality; she was tenacious, and dogged and took no shit from anyone. She had a cute, antagonistic relationship with the profiler at the start (which I loved) which eventually led to some really sweet, touching moments. 
Hotel del Luna 
A hotel for wandering spirits gets a new human manager - and he forms a surprising connection to the enigmatic 1300 year old owner
If I had to describe this show in one word it would be ’lavish’. It’s a feast for the eyes - from the set design, to the costumes, to the CGI views of the hotel towering over the moon-lit Seoul cityscape, its stunning. It also plays with aspect ratios in a cool way (watch for the shots where the action spills over into the black bars top and bottom of the screen).
In terms of the characters, I really liked IU in this; her character may be uncaring, world-weary, and money-hungry, but she’s also immensely charming. I admit I got more platonic vibes with her and the male lead, but I still liked their relationship. I also really liked the stories of the ghosts passing through (some reduced me to tears with very little screen time) and there were a couple of GREAT cameos. Especially the one at the very end - I want more of him, please!!
My Holo Love
A lonely woman falls for a holographic AI and then meets his creator…
I love the concept of this show (I’m a big sci-fi nerd), and I think this stayed in my ‘favourite’ list for so long because it was the first Kdrama of this genre that I saw. I still love it - especially because of how beautifully it’s shot, and how well the story comes together - but I’m not dying to rewatch any of it, unlike all the others shows that are now on the ‘great’ list.
Extraordinary You
A high school student discovers she’s a supporting character in a comic book
The plot of this was so cool, and the way the comic story played out interspersed with the characters ‘real lives’ was really well done. Plus the central couple were so adorable. It dragged in the middle section (several versions of the same conversations were had, and the same exposition was spelled out multiple ways for no apparent reason) which kept it out of my favourite list, but it redeemed itself with some good angst at the end, and it had a really lovely ‘epilogue’.
Just Between Lovers
Three people impacted by a tragic shopping mall collapse start working on a building project together, unaware of their shared past.
I absolutely adore the male lead in this - he is the archetypal tortured hero (I constantly wanted to give him a hug and a warm meal). He’s also wonderfully romantic in his own, straightfoward, no-nonsense way. The female lead was really likeable - l love capable women and she is the definition of that (she even drives a lorry at one point!). There’s a lot of pain and angst in this show, with very little levity, but it strangely never felt heavy. I really liked it. 
Strong Girl Bong-Soon
A woman with inherited super-strength gets a job as a bodyguard for an eccentric young CEO
The lead couple in this are AD-OR-ABLE and I loved their relationship. But there was a weird tone issue in this show. The romance is super cute…but there’s a whole dark sub plot involving multiple women being held captive by a psychopath, and a really grating cast of ‘bad guy’ extras. I ended up fast forwarding most of that, and just concentrated on the romance - If someone could do a supercut of all their scenes, I would watch it on a loop.
30 but 17/Still 17
A 17 year old girl gets into an accident and wakes from a coma 13 years later.
I was worried going into this that the romance (between a 30 year old man and (essentially) a 17 year old girl) would feel icky and uncomfortable. But the writers made the wise choice of creating a 30 year old man with the emotional maturity of a 17 year old. He is so awkward and unworldly, that they actually work really well together. In fact, I loved their relationship. The secrets in this show took faaaar too long to be revealed, which made me worried that the eding would be too rushed, but there was actually time for a nice ‘epilogue’. Plus, all the supporting characters were great (including the wonderfully weird housekeeper Jennifer) and the cutest dog in the world was in this. So I definitely recommend it.  
Hometown cha cha cha - NEW ENTRY
A big city dentist opens a practice in a seaside town and clashes with the local jack-of-all-trades.
This hooked me and made me look forward to the weekends even more so I could get my fix. The story is slight (slice-of-life type thing) but the characters had me engaged and it was an enemies - friends - lovers story which is my catnip.
The male lead was such an intriguing character and the female lead has charm in spades. The romantic scenes bordered on far too cheesy but you can understood why (this was basically their first relationship) so I let it slide. Lovely cast of supporting characters. 
Nevertheless - NEW ENTRY
Two art students embark on a friends-with-benefits relationship.
I binged  this in one weekend. It reminded me of the slightly trashy YA romances that are my gulity pleasure - where the innocent girl falls for the college Fuckboy. You know she shouldn’t end up with him, but you can’t resist their chemistry.  The male lead’s character remained a mystery even by the end of the show, and he really only started to show any semblance of feelings in the last episode, which was a let down. He was so underdeveloped which was a shame, because this show really captured my attention otherwise - in large part because I’m not used to this storyline in Kdramas. There is lots of sex! Actual removal of clothes occurs (and there’s a lovely montage of the main couple sharing a bed which was a visual highlight). So overall I enjoyed it - not least for the side romances - every one of which worked for me (which is unusual). 
Da-Li and the Cocky Prince - NEW ENTRY
A down-on-her luck art curator teams up with a noveau rich ex-thug to save her father’s art museum.
This is the poor girl meets arrogant rich guy trope - but with a twist. She used to be rich and he used to be poor. This leads to a great dynamic between them. His character on paper (an uncultured money-obssessed ex-thug who has a great head for business) is elevated so much by the charm of the actor - you really root for him and his attempts to fit in to this new world. Would recommend!
Mystic Pop-up Bar
As punishment for past sins, a woman must solve the grudges of 100,000 people by entering their dreams
This was an unexpected delight. I started watching it after spotting a cute gifset on tumblr (which I didn’t realise contained huge spoilers!). The story and tone is (mostly) light and quirky, and I particularly enjoyed the worldbuilding - the banal bureaucracy of the afterlife in this even reminds me a bit of The Good Place. I’m a sucker for a ‘found family’ theme and this one was done really nicely. It also had 2 main ships - one really cute and innocent, the other took me by surprise with how moving it was. Similarly, some of the episode-specific stories and characters (i.e. the individual grudges) made me tear up.  
100 days my prince
A Prince loses his memory during an assassination attempt and ends up living as a peasant for 100 days.
Another period piece; the plots of these seem a little repetitive (Crown prince’s life is threatened by scheming Minister) but the  central cast and the romance usually makes up for it. Same for this show - I really enjoyed watching the spoiled, grumpy puppy of a Prince try to cope with manual labour, and the female lead was capable, and endearing.
True beauty - NEW ENTRY
Starting at a new school, a bullied ‘ugly’ girl reinvents herself with the help of makeup
This was really cute! I love Cha Eun-woo in anything and whilst this was similar in theme to one of his other shows (Gangnam beauty) I still enjoyed it on its own merits. He is so cute and charming and his dynamic with the female lead carried the show. The second lead also grew on me, but I wish they hadn’t dragged out the love triangle quite so much. 
Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok-Joo
A young talented weightlifter experiences first love
Honestly, I wasn’t sold on this at first; the female lead was a bit much (lot of gurning and over-acting) and there was a weird disconnect between how she was described (big, overweight, manly, unfeminine) and how she actually looked (thin and beautiful!). But the back half of this show saved it; her relationship with Joon-Hyung was sooooo cute. He is adorable, and they were both so supportive of each other’s dreams. I finished this with a big smile on my face.
Are You Human Too
A mother separated from her son builds a robotic replacement. Decades later, he has to take the place of the ‘real’ son.
I loved the evolution of the robot in this - it never went the way of a full Pinnochio story, but it was fun to see him learning about the real world and how humans interact. It also posed some interesting questions - what does it mean to be human? And how would you react if you were ‘replaced’ by an artificial version?  
The actor in this was fantastic. The way he could change from the real Nam Shin to Nam Shin III with the most subtle shifts in posture and facial expression was really impressive. It took me longer to warm to the female lead, and by the end she was given very little to do…but her unflinching support and unconditional love for Nam Shin III won me over.  Some of the supporting characters didn’t work for me, and it was far too long…but worth a watch for the lead actor’s performance. Plus, Nam Shin III is an absolute cutie-pie.
Shopaholic Louis/ Shopping King Louis
The young, shopaholic heir to a large department store empire loses his memory and has to live as a poor man 
The male lead in this is an absolute puppy dog and I ADORE him. He squeals when he sees bugs, he can’t run to save his life, and he’s the type of guy who will punch someone and immediately apologise and ask if they’re ok. He’s spoilt, entitled, demanding and has no concept of the value of money…but thanks to the actor portraying him, he just comes across as innocent, sweet and lonely (he spends all his time shopping and accumulating stuff because they fills up his empty life). The female lead is just a really nice, kind person; at first Louis seems like he’ll be just one more burden she needs to take care of, but he makes it clear from the start that she can count on him to help her too - something she’s never had before. Their relationship develops so naturally and thoroughly that you cant help but feel they are perfect for each other. I watched this with a big smile on my face.
Oh My Venus 
The previously much-lusted after ‘Venus of Daegu’ fulfilled her dream of becoming a lawyer - but she gained weight and lost her self esteem in the process. 
I adored the female lead - she was so relentlessly bright and optimistic that you couldn’t help but love her and root for her. I was a bit worried going in that there was going to be a lot of fat-shaming, but the male lead made it clear that he was more interested in her internal health than her external appearance (and you could tell he started to fall for her when she was chubby, so it wasn’t superficial in that way). I wasn’t expecting for him to become so much of the focus in the second half of the show (I thought he was just going to be a hunky trainer;  I should have known better - in a Kdrama there is always a Tragic Backstory looming!). Their relationship was so natural and cute - the bit with the dimples never got old - and overall, this was a fun, easy watch.
A Piece of your Mind
A classical music recording engineer meets an AI designer.
I struggled to sum-up the concept of this in one sentence, because the ‘plot’ is so arbitrary (and the AI stuff makes no sense whatsoever!). It’s really more of a mood piece - the lighting, the music and the performance combine to make this a strangely ethereal show, dealing with unrequited love, grief and the importance of human connection. It’s slow and contemplative and a little odd in its structure (there’s very little set-up, so you feel like you’ve been dropped into episode 3 of an established show). This may put some people off, but I really liked it. 
I started watching it because of the leads (who I’ve loved in other shows) and they didn’t disappoint. She is so kind and lovely; he’s a little odd - like a robot learning about life. But their relationship is so beautiful (it even included one of my favourite niche tropes: insomniacs who can only sleep around each other). 
Apparently the episode run was cut down from 16 to 12 because of poor ratings, which is a real shame because i think a bit more time was needed to really sell the female lead’s emotional arc. It all felt a little rushed at the end, but I still enjoyed it, and admired that it tried something a little unconventional. 
Rookie Historian
An independent, educated woman choses to become one of the first female court historians, rather than get married.
This show had a really interesting premise and I enjoyed watching the rookie female historians navigate court-life (battling workplace harassment, misogyny and patriarchal values) and developing a real friendship with each other. 
The female lead was fantastic - she was headstrong, pragmatic, unapologetically intelligent, a lover of books and a hater of injustice. She shared that love of books with the male lead, who was sensitive, soft-spoken, and innocent. The ultimate beta hero, who’s romantic fantasies involved him feeding her cookies and fanning her while she sleeps! 
Their romance took a backseat for a lot of the show, but I didn’t mind as the plot was exploring interesting topics such as intruders from the West, catholicism, and censorship, etc.
Tempted/The Great Seducer
In an act of revenge, a wealthy heir makes a bet with his friends to seduce a hardworking female college student 
10 minutes into this I started to get major Cruel Intentions vibes…which made sense when I found out it was also an adaptation of Dangerous Liaisons! It doesn’t have the dark edge or overt sexuality of Cruel Intentions (which is one of my favs) but its still good - mainly due to the male lead. I ADORED him in TKEM and he’s really good here. I’m a sucker for the ‘bad boy falls in love for the first time’ trope and he played it so well. The female lead was also good - she was self-aware, strong, intelligent and took no shit. I was less interested by the love affairs of the adults around them, but overall it was a good show. 
The OK
My shy boss / Introverted boss
An extroverted actress takes a job at a PR company working for a man with crippling shyness
This was another deceptive show; I thought from the title and the synopsis that it would just be a light opposites attract comedy about an introverted man and an extroverted woman. But I was almost in tears by the second episode when the Tragic Backstory came to light, and we saw the full extent of the Boss’ struggles to communicate with other human beings. He has such a rich, funny, and smart inner monologue, and the way he overthinks every interaction is really endearing…which makes the contrast with his silent and withdrawn external persona all the more stark and heartbreaking. You really root for him to find happiness. This was overly long (a common pitfall with these shows) and there was some distracting shaky camera work in some of the close ups. There were also implications early on about workplace sexual harassment and possibly dubious consent in a one night stand which were dropped, leaving a bit of a sour note.  Despite that, it was overall fairly enjoyable and has one of the cutest confession scenes!
The OK
Because this is my First Life
A rational-to-a-fault software designer and an aspiring screenwriter come up with an unconventional way to solve their housing problem
When I started this, I thought it was going to be all light and fluffy (the main character’s job in the beginning was to insert the product placement in Korean dramas - hello, Red Ginseng! - which I found hilarious and meta) but it had a surprisingly melancholic tone throughout and touched on issues of workplace harassment and gender roles. I didn’t warm to the male lead until right at the end (which was probably partly intentional - he’s very remote and closed off) but overall I found the story quite lovely. Plus it had a really great central female friendship and their conversations actually passed the Bechdel test!
My Love from the Star
Alien stranded on earth meets an actress soon before he’s due to be rescued.
It took a couple of goes to get into this one, but I’m glad I finally watched the  whole thing (the female lead was initially very irritating, but she improved a lot). I enjoyed the present-day romance and all the flashes back to the past. However, the ending was really abrupt and disappointing (which kept it out of my favourite list). There should have been 1 less filler episode in the middle, and a decent, fleshed out finale instead.
The K2
An ex-mercenary takes a job as a bodyguard protecting the illegitimate daughter of a politician. A sort-of Snow White retelling.
This started off really well; there are some amazing fight sequences (hello, shower room scene!) and JCW has never been hotter - its worth watching for him alone. However, the back half became really bogged down in double crosses and manipulations, and it focussed too much on the politicians. The writers did well to give these characters some layers, but they were all essentially doing bad things for the wrong reasons, and I just didn’t care about them. The show was much better when it was following K2’s journey. The romance also started off well, but was a bit underdeveloped (mainly because they barely interacted).
Dol Dol Sol Sol La La Sol - NEW ENTRY
A sheltered, spoilt rich girl falls on hard times and is helped by a young man hiding a big secret.
I loved the bright, colourful, easy tone of this and the underlying story (which reminded me of Shopping King Louis). It has an equally innocent and charming lead who (on paper) should have been annoying and entitled. However, the twist after episode 4 (i think) really threw me and I wasn’t sure I could continue it. But I did.… only to encounter a ridiculous ending which somewhat soured me on the whole show. Watch if you’re a big fan of the central leads but be prepared to throw things at your TV.
Great Shaman Go Doo Shim - NEW ENTRY
A high school girl from a long line of Shamans reluctantly enters the family business to rid her new school of an evil spirit.
I watched this for the male lead - he’s played the younger version of so many of my favourite characters so I’ve been looking forward to his debut as a lead. He had really sweet chemistry with the female lead, who I’m also eager to see in other things. Overall, this show was short and slight, but cute. 
So I Married the Antifan - NEW ENTRY
An idol and a reporter star in a reality series where they pretend to be together.
I liked the bickering between the main couple at the start of this (who doesn’t love a good enemies-to-lovers trope!) and  the show had a good set up…but it ran out of steam a bit. The female lead became far too passive which started to get on my nerve. And the second couple were sooo annoying. Overall - a good central romance, but I probably won’t be rewatching this. 
He is psychometric - NEW ENTRY
A man with the gift of psychometry teams up with a police officer to solve an old crime
I loved the set up of this and the male lead is really likeable. But I wasn’t a fan of the big plot reveal towards the end - not because it wasn’t well executed, but because of how it impacted the characters. It spoiled a bit of my enjoyment. 
Bride of Habaek / Bride of the Water God
A God of the Land of Water visits the human realm to fulfil a task before ascending to his throne. He enlists the help of a ‘divine servant’, a down-on-her-luck psychiatrist.
I started this because I liked the lead actor. His baby-face can’t quite pull off the intensity needed for this role, but he was still cute as the arrogant, imperious God brought low by his circumstances - no money, house, powers or (most importantly to him) driving license. I also liked the female lead - she so desperately wanted to hide her kind, compassionate heart from a world that had battered and bruised her. There were some good individual scenes (especially the ‘confession’ moment, which was just lovely), but the show ran out of steam towards the end, and ultimately felt like a waste of potential.
Her Private Life
A talented art curator tries to keep her professional persona separate from her fangirl obsession with a pop idol.
This was cute and I loved the central relationship - he was so supportive of her, and their interactions were refreshingly mature and their banter felt really natural. Ultimately, it was a bit forgettable (I’m not dying to rewatch any of it), and the last minute tacked-on childhood trauma subplot was really unnecessary.
Touch Your Heart
Star actress rocked by scandal works at a law firm to prepare for her comeback role
This starred the secondary couple from Goblin and I really like them, even though they are playing very different characters in this (more opposites attract, than doomed lovers). It’s a bit too ‘cutesy’ and I had to fast forward a lot of the secondary romances which I wasn’t invested in.
My Secret Terrius
A secret agent on the run gets embroiled in the life of his next door neighbour - a mum of young twins.
The romance in this was underwhelming; the two characters ended in a really cute place, but it felt like set up for a story I probably would have liked more than this one. In saying that, this was still a relatively enjoyable watch; the female lead was great - she was constantly underestimated as ‘just a housewife’ but she was smarter, and more determined and resourceful than the spies around her. The male lead’s interactions with the twins were adorable, and there was a good cast of supporting characters. However, I’ve already pretty much forgotten the main espionage plot!
Where stars land - NEW ENTRY
A man who dreamed of being a pilot ends up working at the airport - and he hides an unusual secret.
I like the two main actors in this, which is the reason I started watching it. But (confession) I didn’t make any notes as I was watching the show and a year later I can’t remember a single thing that happened. I do recall that it was solidly made and I enjoyed watching it at the time…but it was obviously pretty forgettable!
Abyss - NEW ENTRY
Two friends are dragged into a plot surrounding a mysterious device - the Abyss.
This was a fun ride but ultimately a bit forgettable. The central conceit (you come back to life in a body that better reflects your soulI) was different and fun and the two leads getting used to their change in fortunes was amusing. They ultimately made a cute couple, but (as usual) I was less interested in the murder subplot.
Come and Hug Me - NEW ENTRY
A stoic policeman and a budding young actress share a past trauma
I liked the central relationship in this one (although the actor needed to blink more - it was so disconcerting!). But the father was a one-note hissable villain and the story was overly long and slooooow. Not one of my favs.
Strongest delivery man - NEW ENTRY
A delivery man who dreams of a better life.
I like an underdog story, so I had fun watching this. I also appreciated how the second lead could have been a typical villain but they made him so sympathetic and pitifiul (plus he was played by one of my new favs - Kim Seon-ho -  so I was rooting for him to be a better man). 
Business Proposal - NEW ENTRY
A case of mistaken identity leads to hijinks between a cold, aloof CEO and one of his employees
This was fun and passed the time, but was fairly slight. The male lead felt like a lesser-version of Park Seo-Joon from What’s Wrong with Secretary Kim? That show dealt with the story a cold, aloof businessman dealing with childhood trauma much better. But the female lead in this was a delight. 
Lawless Lawyer
A gangster-turned-lawyer moves to Gisung to take on corruption with the help of a suspended female attorney
I liked this more at the beginning; it reminded me a bit of Itaewon Class, with a charismatic lead, an intricately plotted revenge scheme that the audience only becomes aware of as the series progresses, and a take-no-shit female lead who was introduced hitting an authority figure! However, it never really gripped me (it took me weeks to finish) and a couple of the villains were overacting and hamming it up all over the place.  But I loved the two leads, and their relationship was good, despite feeling a bit rushed. 
1% of Something
To gain his inheritance, an arrogant, aloof CEO has to enter into a marriage contract with a sweet primary school teacher.
I liked how streamlined this was: it was just a show about two people who fall in love despite their best intentions. There was no overly complicated plot, and even the conflict that keeps them apart towards the end felt very organic and unforced. 
She is a delightful ball of sunshine. He is a little overbearing but has his own charm. And bear with the bad haircut and appalling fashion sense - he improves at the end!
Melting Me Softly
Two people are accidentally cryogenically frozen for 20 years. They have to navigate the modern world and their new lives together.
Another good concept, but it ultimately descended into little more than a light work-place romance. Had a couple of good kissing scenes, but it was overall a bit forgettable.
My Sassy Girl
A 'sassy’ princess meets an ambitious scholar in less than ideal circumstances…
I enjoyed the fact that this Joseon period drama focused on a Princess for a change, and not a prince. She came across as more 'obnoxious and immature’ than 'sassy’ in the beginning, but once it was made clear that she was actually a decent, kind person underneath, I soon warmed to her. I also liked the relationship with the male lead, which amounted to a pretty good enemies-to-lovers story. It took a bit of an unexpected turn right at the end, but my independent, feminine self was good with it. Overall, this was a pretty easy watch, but nothing special.
Hwarang
Follows a peasant who joins the newly-created Hwarang (Poet Warrior Youths in ancient Korea) to enact revenge for the death of his best friend
I enjoyed the scenes of the Hwarang hanging out and bonding - so many cute bromances in this! But I couldn’t really connect with the central story and romance, due to a major case of SLS (Second Lead Syndrome) - as much as I’m a fan of Park Seo-joon, I adore Park Hyung-sik, and I found his character, journey and relationship with the female lead much more compelling. The ending still managed to feel somewhat satisfying, but I won’t be rewatching any of it.
The BAD 
Hyde, Jekyll and Me
A woman becomes involved in the lives of 2 men, who share one body
Hyun Bin is sooo watchable in this, especially as the slick-haired, glasses-wearing, uptight Seo-Jin. And the show started well…but quickly went off the rails into a convoluted, dragged-out revenge plot. It was a bit of a slog to get through, to be honest.
Queen: Love and War
The long lost twin of a recently assassinated Queen assumes her identity to enter the Bridal selection to wed the resurrected King and seek revenge.
This was a bit of a mess (as you can tell from that synopsis!); it felt like the first few episodes were rushed through as a sort of ‘prologue’ before the main thrust of the story…but that prologue contained A LOT of plot with some major character revelations that were rapidly skimmed over (e.g. the female lead was introduced as having complete amnesia; but almost out of nowhere she casually mentions that she got all her memories back and now knows who she is). Because of this, it took me a while to get a sense of who the characters really were. A lot of the usual Joseon plot points played out (scheming ministers and untrustworthy queens) but it had some unique features - I especially enjoyed the bridal selection scenes and seeing the lead female outwitting her rivals in the various challenges. But ultimately, I fast forwarded a lot of this and it was pretty forgettable.
Backstreet Rookie
A struggling young woman takes a part-time job at the convenience store run by her high school crush. 
I was really not a fan of this show, and probably would have stopped watching if it wasn’t for Kim Yoo-jung. Her character was really likeable - kickass, but vulnerable, and so loving and kind. You were really rooting for her throughout.  The show also had some interesting things to say about inequality (there was a lovely scene between the male leads’s parents in episode 10 touching on this theme)…but that’s about it for the positives. 
Overall, it was just too OTT and manic and most of the characters were barely more than cartoonish caricatures. One character was actually repulsive, and the fact that he got his own romantic subplot was just gross. I’m a big fan of Ji Chang-wook, but I didn’t like some of his acting choices in this, and his character spent far too long in a relationship with another woman, which meant the main romance felt underdeveloped. 
And…it ended without a kiss. I was so pissed off! I put up with 16 episodes of crap, expecting a decent pay-off at the end…but no. I wouldn’t recommend this one. 
The UNCLASSIFIABLE
Moon Lovers: Scarlet Heart Ryeo
A modern girl is transported 1000 years into the past where she becomes embroiled in the lives of the Royal Princes.
I honestly don’t know where I stand with this one! Did I love it? Did I hate it? I seriously don’t know!
I was reluctant to start this (I knew it didn’t have a happy ending) but I was told its a rite of passage for KDrama newbies to watch this show. And there were some great things about it - the male lead was amazing! So intense and tragic, with the most arresting face. The music was also GORGEOUS, as was the scenery - the whole production felt very sumptuous. The palace intrigue stuff was also more compelling than most of the other historic dramas I’ve seen. I recognised several of the Princes from other shows, and I became really invested in 3 of them…which made the constant threat of them betraying each other/killing each other AGONISING. This show was heavy on the Emotional Torture Porn, and some of it felt gratuitous, because I just didn’t understand the motivations behind some of the plot points/character’s actions.
I also wasn’t a big fan of the female lead; partly because the actress only seemed to have 2 facial expressions to work with, but partly because and any hints that she was a modern girl with modern sensibilities quickly disappeared. It was this independence and spunk that made all the princes fall for her (to varying degrees) but she lost all of that and it left me wondering why they bothered with the time travel aspect at all.
I finished the show feeling wrung out and with the overwhelming sense of “Why? What was the point of that?”
Buuuuuut…it has lingered with me - as @talenevertold said when we were discussing the show, “Nobody enjoys it in the process… but it leaves this unique bittersweet aftertaste…” and that’s absolutely true; and it probably true that this show IS a rite of passage that everyone should watch. But don’t say I didn’t warn you!
and…The MEH (i.e. DNF):
This list is getting long! I have a bit less patience with shows than I did in the beginning - there are so many to get through, so I’m not willing to waste my time on anything that either doesn’t grip me from a story perspective, is far too slow, has mediocre acting and/or is too soapy
Master’s sun
Tale of Nokdu
The Heirs
Meow, the Secret Boy
Love Alarm
One Spring Night
Suits
Chocolate 
Doctor Stranger 
The Scholar Who Walks the Night
Oh Master!
Something In the rain
Alice
Live Up to Your Name
Record of Youth
Run on
Oh my Ghost
If I’ve made a heinous mistake by dropping any of these - get in touch and plead the case for why i should give them another chance!
64 notes · View notes
euphorial-docx · 1 year
Text
i found this very old post in my drafts so i’m posting it now:
okay so i’m reading ernesto by umberto saba because apparently saba is very popular in italy and from is trieste (where my grandma is from so i thought “hey, might as well check it out!”) and i have some scattered thoughts…
it reminds me of call me by your name, which is both great and alarming.
first and foremost: i have both read cmbyn and seen the movie. i am halfway through ernesto currently, but i have not seen the 70s adaptation. if anyone knows where to find that, and if it’s even worth watching, let me know!
my first thought during the first conversation in the very first chapter of ernesto was “wow, this is exactly like call me by your name.” i even searched online to see if cmbyn was inspired by ernesto, but i couldn’t find anything substantial.
(however, with all the similarities, andre aciman had to be aware of ernesto’s existence.)
the thing is, i didn’t like the book call me by your name. i don’t understand why people love it so much. i found it very strange, very boring, deeply uncomfortable during many occasions, and somehow extremely long despite being less than 300 pages. to put it simply: it wasn’t a fun experience for me and i am happy to never pick it up again.
(side note: elio looking at the shit oliver just took made me want to throw myself out a window. genuinely what the fuck was that?)
but the cmbyn movie? i have problems with it too, of course, but i do love it (mostly for aesthetics, music, and acting… story? not so much, but that ties back into me not liking the book).
and somehow, someway, i like ernesto.
cmbyn and ernesto are so similar, yet i like ernesto way more.
both deal with the same things: a young man on the cusp of adulthood who loves music and literature starts a sexual/romantic relationship with an older man, discovers himself sexually as he comes of age, all the while being in northern italy. they sound like the same book, right?
but there is something so honest about ernesto, which i can only assume comes from the circumstances in which it was written. umberto saba wrote it near the end of his life. he didn’t even finish the book, because he was too unwell, and he ended up literally just telling the reader the ending when he felt he couldn’t adequately write any more. it was also semi-autobiographical, and it shows. the book (so far) unravels naturally. his writing style takes some getting used to, but it sure is engaging.
and to get it out of the way: of course the age gaps in both mediums unsettle me.
and on the topic of the age gap, specifically in ernesto: maybe this is wrong of me, but i’m more inclined to be last harsh about it with ernesto because the story is, in part, real. it is a very personal story to saba. he didn’t even intend for anybody to read it, he even says so in the book (i remember reading on the first page, i believe: “if this book even has readers”). it feels more real than fictional. and i do feel bad that that kind of relationship potentially happened to saba (one where he (a 16 year old) and a man (24-ish) were together sexually), even if saba hadn’t seen it as wrong.
and i never finished my thought so now for future me to finish it:
my opinions on ernesto remain pretty much the same. i think it’s a beautiful novel and i’ll always be wishing umberto saba could’ve finished it in his own way, in his own time. i would’ve liked to see everything he had planned.
i highly recommend reading it! it’s been a while since i read it, but i remember it being oddly immersive for how concise his writing style was. ernesto was a fun character to follow and very easy to like and want to follow.
and again, if anyone knows where to watch the 70s movie adaptation, let me know!! i’m still interested in checking it out!
5 notes · View notes
noramoya · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media
*******COMMENTS*******
•TAMMY LYNN GAUTHIER: ”So in addition to his cell phone; driver license; briefcase with hand written notes, business papers, hard drives and video cameras; he also stole: excerpt from Kissfm: "But the craziest bit in this whole story is the fact that the Estate claims Phillips even stole the pajamas Michael was wearing in the final hours before his death. What in the psycho-creepy type of madness is that? Apparently, paramedics trying to resuscitate Michael while responding to the emergency call had removed the pajamas from the "Billy Jean" hit maker. And to make matters even creepier it is believed he also stole a resuscitator tube that appears to have been used on Michael."
• VICTORIA NERO: Tammy Lynn Gauthier, WOW, this is so crazy. La Toya had even mentioned that Michael’s stuff had gone missing after the tragedy but she assumed it could have been someone else. I hope somehow maybe this will all lead us to the truth of what really happened 🤔
Tumblr media Tumblr media
• MADEL YACAP: “Why only now? What has the Estate been doing for 13 years ?! This should have been done even before Mike's Dr. have been sued and tried in court.
•TAMMY LYNN GAUTHIER: “Madel Yacap, The Esate didn't have the evidence ‘till the person reported Jeffre trying to sell memorabilia last year”
Tumblr media Tumblr media
•VICTORIA NERO: “Tammy, I just re-read a bit of La Toya's second book. In it, she says that the estate forced the family out of the house and they weren't even allowed to take any keepsakes for his kids. She mentions some of the same items going missing and the estate sending them a letter about how they would take legal action if the family took anything from the house and didn't return it. But now the estate is saying somehow Jeffre was in the house for 9 days.I'm so confused ! Tammy, like everyone else said, it was a bad decision to let numerous people in the house since it was a crime scene because stuff like this happens !”
•T.L.G.: “Victoria, it’s mentioned in multiple books that they were there for a week (according to security) and managers. Jeffre no doubt has the stuff according to the person who reported him who says Jeffre also stated he was there as part of the providence for the memorabilia he tried to sell. I personally don’t believe La Toya”…
•SHARI THURMAN WILKS: “Now that I have read the lawsuit documents and understand what the facts are, I hope they get everything Jeffre took from Michael's house back, especially the video cameras, computers/computer hard drives containing home videos/ music by Michael and prosecute him to the fullest extent. Things like this disgust me to no end. I'm happy he's been caught but it's still such a shame he's has Michael's belongings in the first place😔 AND trying to sell them for profit is absolutely HORRIBLE !😡”
• REBECCA HARRIS: “Tammy Lynn, Yup. I know lots of fans have refuse to read Randall Sullivan's book “Untouchable” but he was damn right here it seems. Although, not without it's flaws, I personally found that book to have a lot of truth in it. The family dramas, especially. Sharing this part:
“The family, and La Toya in particular, would later accuse Tohme Tohme of looting the house where Michael had died, but Tohme never set foot on the property that day, or in the days that followed. At the behest of AEG, Tohme had done his best to make the Carolwood chateau off-limits to everyone outside law enforcement. After Randy Phillips suggested that they needed to lock down both the Carolwood house and the Hayvenhurst compound, Tohme had placed a call to Ron Williams, a former agent with the U.S. Secret Service who now operated Talon Executive Services, an Orange County company that provided security and performed investigations for dozens of major corporations and a good many celebrities. Tohme wanted Williams because he knew Williams was a man people trusted. The Talon chief immediately dispatched teams of operatives to both the Carolwood chateau and the Hayvenhurst compound, and drove to the Holmby Hills house himself. At Tohme’s instigation, Williams also sent a team to Las Vegas to secure the Palomino hacienda where many of Michael’s most valuable possessions remained in storage in the basement. He and his people were kept outside the gates of the Carolwood property for a full five hours, Williams recalled, while the LAPD photographed the premises, searched the master bedroom, and interviewed Michael Jackson’s security staff. It was dark when the Talon chief got a call from his lead man in Las Vegas informing him that a group of Michael Jackson’s former bodyguards had been caught trying to sneak out of the Palomino hacienda with assorted valuables and were being detained by the police. “Secure the perimeter and let no one inside,” Williams told him. It was about 10 p.m. when the security staff at the Carolwood chateau were allowed to leave. The police prepared to vacate just minutes later. Williams and his people were met outside the front gate by Ron Boyd, the Los Angeles Port police chief, who said he was working with the Jacksons as a family friend and would walk the Talon agents onto the property. To Williams, it said something about the position of the Jackson family in Los Angeles that the first black chief in the history of the port police was on hand to personally protect their interests.
About an hour after Williams and his people had stationed themselves along the perimeter of the Carolwood property’s inside wall, La Toya Jackson and her boyfriend Jeffre Phillips showed up and demanded to be admitted to the house. Tohme had told him that “no one” was to be allowed onto the property or permitted to remove anything from it, Williams recalled, “but La Toya and her boyfriend said, ‘We’re family and we should have access to the house.’ And Ron Boyd gave them tacit permission.” Williams phoned Tohme, who was not pleased. “I knew Michael Jackson’s sister and her boyfriend were in the house taking everything they could,” Tohme Tohme said, “but I didn’t know what to do. It was up to the police.” Three hours after La Toya and Phillips were let into the house, Katherine Jackson arrived and went inside after them. It was mid-morning in London, where Grace Rwaramba was staying with Daphne Barak, when the nanny received a call from Mrs. Jackson. According to Rwaramba, Katherine began the conversation this way: “Grace, the children are crying. They are asking about you. They can’t believe that their father died. Grace, you remember Michael used to hide cash at the house? I’m here. Where can it be?” Rwaramba described Michael’s standard practice of hiding his cash in black plastic garbage bags tucked under the carpets of whatever house he was living in. “But can you believe it?” she asked Barak after hanging up. “This woman just lost her son a few hours ago and she is calling me to find out where the money is!” Talon employees said it was La Toya Jackson, though, along with her boyfriend, who loaded black plastic garbage bags filled with cash into duffel bags and placed them in the garage. La Toya would later insist that nearly all of Michael’s money was gone by the time she arrived at the Carolwood house. All she found, La Toya said, were a few wrappers from the bundles of cash that someone else had removed from the premises and a couple of twenty-dollar bills they had dropped on their way out. Ron Williams and his agents had remained outside the house, at La Toya’s insistence. It was impossible, Williams said, for anyone to know what Michael’s sister and her boyfriend were doing inside, or what Katherine Jackson was doing after she entered the Carolwood chateau. And he couldn’t account either, Williams added, for whatever had taken place inside the house in the nine and a half hours that had passed between the time that Michael Jackson was carried to an ambulance and when the Talon team had been permitted to secure the Carolwood property. It did not become absolutely obvious to Williams and his people that the Jacksons intended to remove whatever valuables were inside the house until the next morning, when Janet Jackson arrived at the front gate, explained that she had just flown in from out of town, and demanded that the gate be opened to admit the moving van that was following behind her. The van had just backed up to the doors of the garage when La Toya came out of the house and insisted that Williams and his agents move their perimeter to the outside of the walls, so that the family would have privacy.”
It was an awkward moment for Williams. He was in the employ of Tohme and AEG, both of whom had made it clear that they did not want anyone, including the Jackson family, on the property. Williams had supervised Secret Service details that protected four U.S. presidents, Queen Elizabeth, and Pope John Paul II, but he found it “pretty hard to tell the Jackson family, after their brother and son had died, to ‘Get your ass off this property.’” So he withdrew his agents to the outside of the walls and gave the Jacksons “unfettered access to the house.” A couple of hours later the moving van rolled back through the front gate with Jeffre Phillips at the wheel. Katherine Jackson and her daughters, though, made it clear they wouldn’t be leaving any time soon. “They camped out for most of a week,” Williams recalled, coming and going “whenever they felt like it.” Talon agents remained at the walls of the Carolwood property for three weeks, dealing mainly with “fan types and paparazzis” that attempted to climb the walls. They kept a log of everyone who entered or exited the front gate and never once saw Tohme Tohme. “The Jackson family let it be known that they didn’t want him around,” Williams recalled.”
• JEANNETTE SIMPSON: “The Jacksons had every right to be in the house and to manage the private property of Michael, after his death. Its a tragic shame that they cant trust the people around them like Jefferys. I saw him on LaT relaity show interacting with the whole family - who would have known. They didnt. This is one of the horrbile things they have had to deal with since they became famous. I hope he goes to jail for a bit as well as gets sued.”
• SHARI T. WILKS: “Jeannette Simpson, I agree. I don't blame the Jacksons for being there. As Janet said in her tribute to him, "To you, Michael is an icon, to us he is family". There are some things I don't agree with when it came to MJ and what some of his family members have done, but they are his family and their first instinct was to go there to keep others from doing what Jeffre did, so it's a real shame that it still happened”.
• TAMMY L.GAUTHIER: “Rebecca Harris, Yes I do appreciate this book. There is a lot of information leading up to his death. The best illustration of the financial issues and family dynamics. The fact that the captain didn't treat it as a suspicious death, immediately, and allowed way too many people in the house was not handled properly at all in my opinion. A lot of missing evidence no doubt !”
• NORA MOYA: “I believe that, if he did this, was without LaToya’s knowledge ! Please, God, allow that she didn’t know”…
• SYLVIA C. SPENCE: “Nora, I do too … And I believe the engagement thing was solely scripted for the Living With Latoya show… Both he and his mother seemed shady to me on the show”…
• NORA MOYA: “Sylvia C. Spence, I did not watched the show… So I can’t say anything”…
• DEE PFIFFER: “I don't subscribe to Marco's dim view of the Estate, which I think is doing an excellent job under the circumstances, but he has uploaded the full court filing here:
https://marcoballetta.com/the-problematic-evidence-that-is-among-the-michael-jacksons-properties-that-michael-jackson-estate-claims-man-engaged-to-singers-sibling-stole/?fbclid=IwAR0vHl4daZTr8TIlr9qBLf58NeTIUuEw58m32s7xHhc1t5qjyWWvaw6cO_w
What Jeffré Phillips has done is despicable. He hasn't only taken deeply personal and private items, depriving Michael's children of footage of themselves with their father for over a decade, but ostensibly he has taken those items from a **crime scene** and this should be reported as a criminal offence.”
5 notes · View notes
learningnewways · 2 years
Text
Israel - Day 1
Today we officially started our Israel Biblical Sites Tour. Our tour is lead by John DeLancey, along with our local Jewish guide Shlomo, although that’s probably not how you spell his name... There are 16 people on our tour, mainly from the USA and one from Canada, however there were only seven of us today as the others had flights delayed. Since this is a Christian tour, John started the day by reading Psalm 100 on the bus and praying, which was nice.
Our first stop was Caesarea, built by Herod the Great for, you guessed it, Caesar! It was built between roughly 10BC and 20AD. It has had a long history and has been demolished and built over, however there is still original parts of buildings there. What we saw was incredible, but apparently 90% of it is still buried underground, as modern houses and things are built over a lot of it, so it can’t all be excavated. The giant theatre was only excavated around 60 years ago and the hippodrome 25 years ago, which is super recent! The theatre is mainly reconstructed, however I did get to sit on the original seats from 2,000 years ago! Wow! It’s clearly documented in Acts that Paul was kept under guard at Caesarea, before sailing to Greece and Rome. Pretty wild to know that the mighty Paul the Apostle lived here! Wow! 
We then drove over the Carmel range, which is referred to in Amos, Isaiah and Song of Songs to name a few. But the most significant Biblicsl mention goes to Elijah in 1 Kings 18, where he summons the people of Israel and tests the prophets of Baal and Asherah to a God battle to see whose God is more powerful! Go read the story, it’s pretty cool, but basically our God, Yahweh, wins of course, and it’s epic, and it happened on Mt Carmel! Wow!
After lunch we went to Megiddo, which was a super important city back in the day. It has been captured and built over it many times, with excavations showing at least 30 communities who have lived there over the years. And by over the years I mean like from 3,600BC... We’re talking over 1,000 years before Abraham, like maybe even pre Noah! Whaaaaaat?! Unbelievable! That's waaaaaay before the pyramids in Egypt were built! There’s sections that Solomon added to and built in his day too. Wowza! It is also the spot where people believe the Armageddon will take place because of passages in Revelation 16... Shall I say it again? Wow!
Then we went to Jaffa, where in Acts 9 Paul heals Tabitha, then stays with Simon the Tanner before going to Caesarea to meet Cornelius... Jaffa is also where Jonah set sail from before being swallowed by a giant fish! It’s all interconnected... Jaffa means beautiful and I can see why! It’s right on the water and has beautifully cobbled streets that are what I picture Italy to be like. I’d love to come here for a beach holiday. It’s a great mixture of an old cute down and also a functional city, right by the beach!
We then finished the day by checking into our hotel in Tiberias on the Sea of Galilee. It was interesting reading so many stories from the book of Acts today on our journey, as we’ve been going through Acts at my church in Nelson this year. Ironically, so have two other members of our group! It is pretty special to visit places and walk the land where so many heroes of the faith walked over thousands of years ago.
Unfortunately I did get very sunburnt, which is not great for day one! But I’ll cope... I hope... I’m still pretty frightened and anxious about my safety with this current Israel/Gaza situation, so please continue to pray for me whenever you remember to.
1 note · View note
sara-joseph · 11 months
Text
Day count blog 3!!!
22 June, 2023, and i just finished counting how many hours left till they are back. i was reading through the older day count blogs, and guess what, that shit was so comforting. I may have changed a tad bit, but I'm still the same. Festa 2023 was a huge success, and i loved every second of it. 893 days more, we'll wait.
27th June, 2023. This is amazing, I almost started crying when I heard the maknae line was at yoongi's Seoul concert. And there's an encore, obvi. Wow. But I just keep telling myself, let's sacrifice everything this year, so I can make it in 2025. Like everything, the concert screenings, the book, the merch, the late night talks, EVERYTHING. anywaysss, 888 days more, we'll wait.
2nd July,2023. JJK1 is cominggggg. Ahhhhhhh csushs8anahausnsbsb. I swear to god- this man dropped the schedule plan, and his abs are already out. He came live to promote his solo single, and he promoted everything except Seven, like the beautiful wall(um iykyk) his new lip piercing and all. Hobis more turned one and his put up a story. 883 days more, we'll wait.
7th july, 2023 WHAT THE FUCK. concept pics+short clip for seven is out, the abs are out, my brain's not working, my mouth wont close, and my eyes have fallen out. all i need to know right now is, which jackassed dumbfucked mf said that Seven is a summer song? like honestly though. there is an explicit version ffs- also, my bitch of a sister has snitched abut the "guy" contacts saved, and the phone is goneee. 878 days more, we'll wait.
13th July 2023. SEVEN COMES OUT TOMORROW. Han So Hee and Jk are playing a coupe who are like arguing in the MV teaser! its my godfather's 50th birthday tomorrow, and we're skipping school for a one day resort trip. alsooo, it was army day on 9th, and beyond the story is out. 872 days more, we'll wait.
23rd july, 2023. seven is outttt. and dude fr reated an explicit version only for one line, but it changes the whole meaning, i swear. i had my last sports day at shs, and ended up crying for atleast 30 mins. future me, always remember, team chandu forever. idk what this is but, g, the cl is kinda attractive. tae is cartiers ambassador, and the one pic they posted, the one necklace of 22 lakhs was sold out, and the website crashed. slept at 4:30am last night, talking tea about others with rp. 862 days more, we'll wait.
2nd august, 2023. if i haven't mentioned before, i've decided to move on from this childish grudge against Sc. yea, im immature. Rr and Sr, Tkb, Ynb are probably gonna come around nov, idkk. tae's album is announced. jk breaaking more records, his personal tiktok s out, after he posted the seven challenge with kim mingyu from svt, it was initialy named "Ian" which was on the draft list for his stage names before debut, he quickly changed it to "letjungcook" after getting embarrassed that we'll tease him. even his tiktok account broke the record for the most number of followers within an hour or something, which was actually held by bts.852 days more, we'll wait.
7th aug, 2023. its funny how much emotions have changeed. the past 3 days were the encore concerts of D-DAY, min yoongi. kook was the guest for the first day, performing Max's part from burn, then after yoongi left, he performed seven. we finally got rapper jimin tony montana after 7 years of trending hashtags and begging. the, on the last day rm came and performed an unreleased song as a gift and rocked a buzz cut, to which all of us thought he was gonna enlist soon. highllight of day 3, YOONGI'S 7 TATTOO IS FUCKING OUT!!!!! its on his left shoulder, right where he was injured. and bam, another shocker, Jin AND jhope attended the concert. FUCK MY LIFE. all that even caused panic in the subway in sk, apparently. and right when everyone was soaring with this joy, today yoongi has announced his enlistment. WOW. 847 days more, we'll wait.
22nd August, 2023. Wow, it's been days since I updated this. It's been a hectic time, the past 2 weeks, future me, if you're reading this, and if you've finished boards 23-24 , please remember that this was a shit load of fucking bullcrap. And yea, I'm here, at 2:37am, swooning over the leads having their first kiss in ep 3 after 5 almost kisses, and a sex dream. Anyways, 832 days more, we'll wait.
24th August, 2023. Yea, bout the drama, they ended up hooking up atleast 50 times after, then cutting it off, then back together. Yup, nevertheless. I finished that, and stayed up doing my 2 months overdue geography project, and watched red, white and royal blue till 4:20 am, slept soon after and woke up 10 mins later to turn off my first alarm for the morning. 97 liners meet up again, tae is giving out mv's like it's free air, and we are lovin this shit. 830 days more, we'll wait.
4th sep, 2023. My sleep schedule is fucking messed up. Like literally, it 3:12am rn, and I'm still planning on making a whole Spotify playlist before going to sleep. And, my exam starts day after. How much more stupid can i genuinely get. Tae with the fan is soo cuteee. And jk's birthday just got over and I saw jimins "jk birthday post" seconds after it was posted, and had a mental debate with myself if I could call To only to fangirl along and technically walk into exposing my fucking insta, AGAIN. Chikkappa is flying in on 11th nov, and I can't waittt. 819 days more, and we'll fucking wait.
11th sep, 2023. my exam tomorrow jus got cancelled. rm's bday is tomorrow, layoVer is more of a "SLAYoVer". and jk was snapped smoking. the other post- 812 days more, we'll wait.
16th sep, 2023. halfway through mid terms, vmin drought is over. jk posted smoke challenge on tiktok. jin be postin random clipssss 807 days more, we'll wait.
19th sep, 2023. Yoongi's enlistment date is out and he's leaving day after. his last live was so emotional. i think im going through my baby army phase again by watching all the old army edits and compilations on youtube. jk for dazed and vogue korea is the death of me, but it dosen't surpass seven concept photos and CK. i have officially fucked up my half yearly examination. 804 days more, we'll wait.
29th/30th sep? 2023, half an hour into 30th September. Body to body to body to body to body. Jungkook. Wow. He keeps coming out with such hits for real tho. My birthday shopping is doneee. I never thought I would get a fucking strapless dress, but um okay ig, since mom picked it herself. Jimin for Tiffany, and I was just re-watching 2018 bbmas and the host had no clue what BTS's fanbase is. 793 days more, we'll wait.
4th oct, 2023. jk was live an hour ago, v posted with jimin and jk, rm posted. everyone except jin, hobi and yoongi in the military were seen today. jungkook is basically on the ARMY side of tiktok. 4 days to my birthday and JJK1 is coming on nov 3rd. 789 days more, we'll wait.
21st Oct, 2023. My sweet 16 was like okok ig. My life is like genuinely fucked right now. Boards are preponed, pre boards are in 11 weeks, timetable is up, and I've been fighting with mum since yesterday non stop. Also, my family is like completely broken, and I'm definitely the cause for that. Not to remember but it's her birthday today, and ik I'm not obliged to wish her, but don't know why I wished through her sister. Kid Laroi and Shawn Mendes are featured on golden, jimin made a cameo in Vicnic, jimin is havin a fanmeet a while later and Rm is in the UK for some reason. Jk also attended the Ck event at Japan. 772 days more, we'll wait.
12th nov, 2023. Wow- so much has happened. Golden is out, it screams party jk and lovesick jk at the same time. V and jn turning up at jk's house is never not funny. My mom just finished screwing me cause I took pics in a bar that are giving complete gay, and I don't even feel bad tbh. Chikkappa is coming tomorrow morning.750 days more, we'll wait.
4th Dec,2024. It's like 12:06am rn, and i have missed a whole month of this. Life is genuinely fucked up at this point. I have my phone taken away and I'm like actually studying now. We leave for church this week and chikkappa has been here for almost a month now. Jk, jimin, v and rm are going to the military together AND v is joining for some crime special forces. Jk and jimin are going to be trained under jin. I dread the next 3 months of my life, and that is probably going to be the time i do this next. Also, YTC Busan has been out for almost a month and reethu akka has still not made time to watch together.728 days more, we'll wait.
16th dec,2023. Jk and jimin left on 12th and V and RM left on 11th. WE GOT AN OT7 PICTURE!!!! FUCK YES. and all I want for Christmas is you by Mariah Carey had been topping holiday charts every year on itunes for THE PAST 29 YEARS, and just when it was going to become 30, BTS decided to leave for military, making us all emo sad bitches who will dethrone all I want for Christmas is you and make it on top one with Spring day. Losing my sanity is an understatement for my lufe right now. I'm graduating from this school tomorrow, and emotions are all over. 716 days more, we'll wait.
0 notes
arabellaflynn · 1 year
Text
Advent Calendar 17: Won't Somebody Think Of The Children?
Greetings, and welcome to Advent Calendar 2022! This year we're being self-indulgent and rambling about video games.
The Ratmas card order has been slightly delayed, so if you want one you still have a chance! Subscribe to my writing Patreon here today for at least $5/mo and get an e-card for Ratmas; subscribe for $20/mo (and drop me a mailing address) and you'll get a real paper one!
I hope you're all having a happy winter holiday season. Let the nerd rambling commence!
Video games, like animation and footie pajamas, are one of those things that is often unfairly dismissed as "just for kids". There is nothing about the medium that is inherently more childish than not; this image is largely down to Atari trying to justify the cost of the 2600 -- much higher than single-game Pong consoles -- by marketing it as 'fun for the whole family', and later Nintendo strictly regulating the contents of their games to keep them suitable for all ages. 
PC gaming has notably gone through no such phase. Desktop computers were pricey and owned by adults, and there has always been market share available for games with sex, violence, drugs, or other mature topics. Arcade games were likewise spared a lot (though not all) of the censorship, under the assumption that anyone who could get themselves to a video arcade under their own power was at least a tween.
Not all publishers applied the same standards to their console titles, and not all titles followed the same rules in all countries. Although Nintendo made an effort to keep their Japanese Famicom titles as family-friendly as their American NES games, Japan has a very different idea of what's suitable for kids. Nintendo of America was particularly bent on censoring any mentions of death or religion, resulting in significant edits to the text and graphics of series like Castlevania.
The greatest bugbear of the industry, however, has been the contention that violence in video games begets violence in real life. Since the 1970s, parent groups have been up in arms, ranting and raving in a moral panic whose internal workings are frankly a rather boring redux of the 1950s panic over comic books, and the even earlier panic over degenerate behavior in movies.
(I've read Seduction of the Innocent. It's... wow. I used to work for a publisher of erotica, and none of our authors had half as filthy a mind as Frederic Wertham. That man saw a confusing jumble of vaginas and licentious gay men in everything. It's a shame he was born before fanfic was really a thing, he could have just let his freak flag fly on AO3 and been a much happier person.)
Basically, in order to write a story about good triumphing over evil, you have to depict evil behavior, and that is at least one evil behavior too many for the bluenoses. They were particularly opposed to violence for violence's sake, especially on games consoles kept in the home where children too young for arcades had access. And there is perhaps no better, more widespread example of this than Mortal Kombat.
If you have been living under a rock for the past 30 years, first of all, congrats on digging yourself free! Mortal Kombat is a series of video games whose "plot", if you can call it that, involves a lot of weirdos coming together for a fighting tournament to see which weirdo is the best at beating the snot out of all the others. I think the fate of the universe hangs in the balance or some shit. In any case, unlike other series like Street Fighter or Karateka, in which you theoretically just pummel your opponent into unconsciousness, Mortal Kombat lives up to its misspelled name by letting you execute special moves called "fatalities", where you do things like rip your opponent's head right off their body and hold it up for the crowd, spine dangling free. There's a lot of gratuitous blood. There's also a lot of things like ninja lightning magic and a big dude with four arms, but apparently the spine-ripping was the thing moral guardians were worried about kids emulating.
The 16-bit home console ports of this game sparked outrage. Nintendo censored their SNES port heavily, turning the gouts of blood into buckets of unconvincing sweat, but Sega did not, and their version had all the gore they could fit on a Genesis cart. Having mostly lost their fight about dirty words on records, people who don't have enough to do with their day lobbied Congress to put a stop to all this. Mortal Kombat wasn't their only talking point; there was also a lot of furore about lightguns like the NES Zapper, but Mortal Kombat was the one that made the news, and the most recognizable to people who didn't actually play any of the games they were complaining about.
youtube
The video games industry, having learned an important lesson from the movies, comics, and rock albums, graciously offered to label games that had sex, violence, drugs, or swearing. They said this was so that parents could keep their kids from playing inappropriate games, but as with everything before it mainly had the effect of telling you right on the label which games were the coolest. Despite the pretense of the industry that video games were for kids, a significant number of gamers were, and are, full-grown adults with their own money.
Perhaps the second-most famous series, after Mortal Kombat, is Grand Theft Auto. The title tells you right up front that your protagonist is not exactly going to be a paragon of society, but as upset as people were over the larceny, they were way more upset over the way your character can hire a prostitute, avail himself of her services, then beat her with a baseball bat to get his money back. This is absolutely offensive, but your character isn't supposed to be a good guy -- he's a protagonist, which is different. As the name suggests, your main character gets to steal cars, and you can use them for a variety of other less-than-legal things, like smuggling drugs, running over pedestrians, and evading your well-deserved arrest. And frankly the thing everyone got most upset about was a depiction of a totally consensual and non-commercial sex act that was technically not in the retail game.
The "Hot Coffee" scandal burst onto the scene in 2004 when the gaming public found out that the protagonist of Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, CJ, had once been planned to engage in sexual relations with his girlfriend, where the player would have to, uh, "win" the event by pressing buttons in rhythm. This minigame was considered slightly too far even by GTA standards, and access was removed before the retail game shipped in order to retain a Mature (rather than Adults Only) rating, but the material itself was left in. Typically this happens when a section of the game re-uses shared assets or animations that need to be present for other parts of the game to work properly -- it's less risky to just leave stuff on the disc and remove whatever leads into the cut content, than it is to remove files and possibly break other things that won't be noticed or fixed before the game is finalized for retail. Rockstar just snipped out anything that would have led into the minigame, rendering it impossble to be accessed by anyone who was playing the game as designed.
People who were not playing the game as designed, specifcally the modding community for the Playstation2 version, went mucking around on the game disc and found what was left of the "Hot Coffee" minigame. Modding PS2 games is a hackish proposition; you need special software to read and alter the game files, and a stock PS2 won't play burned discs holding the modified code. Anyone who went into the "Hot Coffee" game on the Playstation2 version was specifically looking for it, and breaking every applicable warranty on any of the pieces involved in order to get into it. The PC versions of the GTA games, on the other hand, are easy to mod, and any idiot with an internet connection could find and download the mod that re-enabled CJ to visit his girlfriend for some "hot coffee". Inevitably one of these idiots blabbed, various software ratings boards got very angry, and a verdict was handed down that any explicit sexual content on the game disc could get you slapped with an Adults Only rating, even if that content was not accessible to anyone using your game as designed.
GTA:SA is not the only game to receive a revised rating after release. Part of the problem here is that, while getting through a movie just requires you to sit there for a couple hours, investigating the content of a video game can take 40+ hours and require skills that are unlikely to be found in the demographic that thinks protecting the public from blood and/or boobies is their highest calling. For the most part, they rely on the game's publisher to tell them what's in the game and provide examples, and game makers and game raters tend to not agree on the, shall we say, intensity of the content in question. And on top of that, there's little you can do to guarantee that the players of an online game will keep their interpersonal interactions at a PG level, even if your game is entirely about petting fluffy kittens.
from Blogger https://ift.tt/CKWkY3l via IFTTT -------------------- Enjoy my writing? Consider becoming a Patron, subscribing via Kindle, or just toss a little something in my tip jar. Thanks!
0 notes
geritisfanfic · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
I may be a King collector of sorts, but there are quite a few King books I have read. Insomnia is just one of them - I was always intimidated by the almost 700 pages.
This book took me a month to read. Not because I found it boring, but because it's a huge book and it's really an insane (in a good way) universe. Plus being an adult and having to work gets in the way of things.
And as per usual, my thoughts are all over the place.
There were so many details put into this book, and that's one of the things I love about King books. You can definitely tell that this one was outlined and everything - something he doesn't normally do. And the times throughout the book where small things were mentioned that happened previously. Wow. I really have no words.
Ralph and Lois were also amazing characters. And I loved that even though Carolyn died early in the book, she was still a viral character and was still around, in Ralph's thoughts. No one, not even the reader, could forget about her. She was always giving Ralph advice when he needed it.
And even though I assumed and expected certain things to happen, I wasn't ready for when they did.
I sobbed so much throughout the ending of this book, which isn't a difficult task. It was sad, delightful and really brought everything to a close. It was very well thought out.
I have a lot of favorite quotes and events throughout the book. But here's a few of the many:
"Where'd you get your license? Fuckin' Sears?"
"It's a long way back to Eden, sweetheart, so don't sweat the small stuff."
Or maybe he didn't really read at all; maybe he just liked to hold the books and look at the artfully stacked words.
"He sure wasn't himself today," Ralph said.
"Had a bug up his ass, did he?"
"Had a whole damn ant-farm up there, I guess."
It had never been in the walls, but only in his wife. In Carolyn. It was in his dear one, she was slipping away from him, and what would he ever do without her?
"You're seventy fucking years old, Ralph, in case you forgot. And Helen needs a friend right now, not some busted up antique she can visit because his hospital room is three doors down from hers."
And something else–something that smelled like old curdled milk. He wondered if it might be the smell of Ed's madness.
Ralph has begun to discover this summer that everyone in America apparently had a pet remedy for insomnia, some bit of bedtime magic that had been handed down through the generations like the family Bible.
"Most teachers are cynical, Ralph. We see them come in, so young and so strong, so convinced that it's going to be different for them, and we see them make their messes and then paddle around in them, just as their parents and grandparents did."
He couldn't remember a depression as deep as the one which now enveloped him. He felt as if he were suffocating in it.
"Insomnia and alcoholism have a lot in common, but the major thing is this: they're both diseases of the heart and mind, and when they're allowed to run their course they usually gut the spirit long before they're able to destroy the body. So yeah–people do die from lack of sleep."
He was tired, yes–more deeply and fundamentally tired than he had ever been in his life–but being tired and sleepy, he had discovered, we're sometimes piles apart. Sleep, that undiscriminating friend, humankind's best and most reliable nurse since the dawn of time, had abandoned him again.
"And even the assault charge was only a misdemeanor."
"How can assault be a misdemeanor? I'm sorry, but I never did understand that part."
"It's a misdemeanor when you only do it to your wife. It's the American way, Lo."
You'd be cruising along through your day, sometimes feeling great, sometimes just feeling okay, but getting along and getting it done… and then, for no apparent reason at all, you'd go down in flames and crash. A sense of What the hell's the use would slide over you–unconnected to any real event in your life at the moment but incredibly powerful all the same–and you felt like simply creeping back to bed and pulling the covers up over your head.
"Pardon me all to heck and back, Ralph Roberts, but I wasn't raised to take off my underwear and leave it lying around on racetracks."
And yet here they were, the world's oldest Peter Pan and the world's oldest Wendy, sliding under a magic tree into some slimy underworld neither one of them wanted to see.
That was a long time ago, but he had never completely forgotten the story, which had been richer and darker than Dr. Seuss's usual jingle-jangle nonsense about rats and bats and troublesome cats.
Dying is easy, living is hard.
"Then you better make sure you didn't do it for nothing."
Ralph reflected for a moment on the similarities between loneliness and insomnia–how they were both insidious, cumulative, and divisive, the friends of despair and the enemies of love.
And it occurred to Ralph that maybe nothing in life was better than lying deep in a soft bed with a sleeping woman in your arms while the fall wind screamed outside your safe haven.
It was life, often unsatisfying, frequently cruel, usually boring, sometimes beautiful, once in a while exhilarating. The fundamental things continued to apply as time went by.
"I've had my life, Lois, and a fine one it was. But she hasn't really had anything yet, and I'll be damned if I'll let that son of a bitch have her just because he's got a score to settle with me."
"Never mind, it's stopped."
Then Ralph stopped, too.
#bookreview #stephenking #insomnia #readersgonnaread #bookworm
0 notes
randomshyperson · 3 years
Note
Can I request a modern angsty Wanda x Female reader where they’re best friends? R is openly out while Wanda is still in the closet. They very much like each other but Wanda still pushes her feelings away. And R says something like “I wish we could stop playing this game where we act like you don’t love me...it’s getting tiring to not love you in the way I want.” And like hopefully a happy ending :)
Hey, hope you’re fine :) I wanted to make something nice to you ‘cause you’re always so nice to me. Really hope you like this, i tried to follow everything you request.
Good reading!
Tumblr media
Gif is not mine, and it doesn't really match any scene, but Lizzie just look so good in this. who even look this good while fighting.
Wanda Maximoff x Reader - Friends never love me like you
Words:  6.785k // Read in AO3 too
Warnings> 16+, hints of smut, soft angst, fluffy i think, language.
You're dreaming about Wanda again, and it makes sense, because your face is buried in her hair as you sleep in her bed. 
And then the alarm clock is ringing and you grumble, scrambling up in bed to reach the device on the nightstand. 
- Come on, Wandy, we need to get up. - You say as you stretch and sit up in bed, having turned off the noise. Wanda grumbles in displeasure, and puts her pillow over her face. You laugh, moving closer. - Wandy... wake up...
And then you are tickling her, and she is squirming as she laughs. But you let go quickly, laughing too.
- You're mean. - She says, and you shrug, getting up.
- Come on, it's our last week. - You say as you walk toward the bathroom. You have a toothbrush at Wanda's, a friend thing.
Then many minutes later, you are at school, surrounded with your group of friends in the cafeteria area, Wanda's head resting on your shoulder.
Everyone is used to the demonstrations of affection from the two of you, and even though you have been out since elementary school, none of your friends hint at anything about it. Wanda has been your best friend since kindergarten, and you really believed that she would be a part of your life forever.
And as you hold her hand through the hallways, or exchange messages between classes that you don't share, you smile, and think that nothing could ever change that.
//-//
Things begin to change on prom day. 
Trish Walker has been your classmate for three years, and she has always hated you for no apparent reason. Well, you guessed the reason, really. You remember how she tried to humiliate you last year by making a mean comment during a debate in history class, and you just turned to her with a wry smile and said "You don't have to fight me to get my attention. Just ask me out," and you watched her turn pink and mumble that this was absurd, as she quickly left the room. But that's past, and you've forgotten. 
And so here you are ignoring the strange feeling in your stomach that settled in when you saw Wanda dancing with Vision, a boy from your class who asked her to the dance at the last minute, justifying that he was embarrassed. You smiled when Wanda told you, even though you weren't happy about it. And now she was dancing, and you were walking outside with your hands in your pockets when you heard someone crying.
Trish was sitting on the sidewalk, and you approached slowly.
- Hey. - You greeted her, and she quickly began to wipe away her tears, letting out a humorless laugh. - Can I sit with you?
- It's a public street. - She replies, extending her arm. You chuckle lightly, sitting down next to her.
- Can I ask why you are crying?
- Why do you care?
You shrug, looking at the parking lot in front of you. 
- I am curious. - You say simply, and Trish holds back the tears in her eyes as she looks in the same direction as you, and hugs her knees.
-I'm just... - She starts and takes a deep breath to control her tears, and then lets out a wry laugh. - You were right about me.
You raise your eyebrow slightly, turning toward her. But she is still looking straight ahead.
- I like girls. - She confesses, tears streaming down her face. You frown. - And I just told my boyfriend that. And he didn't take it very well.
You let out a sigh.
- You want me to punch him? - You offer with a smile and she laughs, wiping her face. But then you change your posture to a tender one. - I'm sorry about that, Trish. - You say and she nods slightly, looking down at her lap. - I know you hate me and all, but I'm here if you need to talk about it.
Trish lifts her head, blinking in confusion. And then she laughs, and you look at her in surprise.
- I don't hate you. - she says with a shy smile. - I never hated you. I just... It was because of you that I told Peter I was bi.
You're really surprised.
- Wow, really? - you ask, and she nods, her face flushed. And then she moves forward, kissing you quickly. You swallow dryly as you pull away. - Trish...
- Damn, I'm sorry! - she asks, shaking her head and closing her eyes. - I'm so stupid!
- Hey, no. - You tell her sweetly, hoping she'll look at you again. - It's just that I was surprised. And well, you haven't been very nice to me over the years. - You point with a smile. - I didn't expect that.
Trish raises her eyebrows slightly.
- But last year, you made fun of me. - She retorts and you frown, not remembering, and seeing her expression, she sighs. - I guess I thought about it a lot more than you did. - she comments. - Last year, when I found out that I liked you, I tried to torment you at school for no reason. And then you retorted my teasing by saying that I was probably in love with you.
You let out a little laugh, remembering.
- Yeah, sorry about that. - You say. - I wouldn't have said anything like that if I had known it was true. It's not nice to bring people out of the closet.
Trish nods slightly, and you are silent for a moment.
- Do your parents know? - she asks curiously. You start to fiddle with your shoelaces.
- I told my father when I was 13. - You say. - I think my mother heard about it from him. And yours?
Trish lets out a humorless laugh.
- No chance. - She denies it. - My mother would kill me. I need to be far away from this place if I'm ever going to date a girl.
- This sucks. - You remark before you return to silence.
And then there is a noise and you turn your head slightly back to see two students stumbling out of the gymnasium as they exchange a passionate kiss, and you laugh lightly.
- I think you should go back to the party. - You say with a smile and Trish looks at you with a furrowed brow. - You look very pretty, Trish. You shouldn't be crying in the corner, especially since you're going to be prom queen for sure.
Trish laughs, looking away. And when you stand up, and offer your hand for her to hold, she accepts it and gets up. 
You walk side by side back to the party, the place is packed and the music is pleasantly loud.
As your gaze wandered around the room, you felt your chest tighten. Wanda and Vision were kissing softly as they danced in a far corner. You swallowed the lump in your throat, and felt Trish pull your hand gently, asking you to dance with her.
When she was crowned prom queen a few songs later, you let her kiss you again, and this time, you kissed her back.
//-//
You keep telling yourself that nothing is different in your relationship with Wanda. 
Because in theory nothing has changed. You still spend a lot of time together, and there are still messages, and jokes, and coffees and outings. And then you are packing for college, because of course you two were going to the same place, and her hand is in yours all the way there.
What has changed is the notifications from Vision on her cell phone, and the phone calls you get from Trish. But you two play along. There is nothing to talk about. 
Unfortunately you are not in the same dorm, and Wanda lets out a dissatisfied sigh when you hug her last to grab the boxes you need to carry to your room.
- I'll be at the end of the hall, Wandy. - You comment but she is not happy at all. 
- That is so unfair. - She says with a pout. - I wanted you to stay with me.
You let out a little laugh, ignoring the pounding of your heart. You were going to tell her that you would see her every day, but then there is a girl coming into the dormitory next.
- Hello - she greets you both with a smile. - Which one of you will be my roommate?
- Tha'ts me. - Wanda says with a smile as she extends her hand to greet the girl. - I'm Wanda, and this is Y/N.
- Monica. - The girl says smiling. - Is your girlfriend going to study here too?
- She is not my girlfriend. - Wanda harshly clarifies, and you frown for a moment, surprised at her aggressiveness. Monica doesn't seem to mind, and lets out a giggle, explaining that it was common for boyfriends and girlfriends to help freshmen get settled in.
And then you nod slightly at her, and pick up your boxes from the floor, carrying them to your room at the end of the hall.
There is a girl in your room sitting on the bed opposite the room, and you smile at her, while she seems to be appraising you.
- Hello, it looks like we're going to be roommates. - You say amiably as you leave the boxes on the floor.
The girl ends up interrogating you for the next few minutes, and you are surprised to find out that she is studies business, not espionage. She asks your major, your age, your parents' names, and how many friends you have. It's a little intimidating, but you answer honestly. And then she smiles and stands up, saying that you were nice and she was happy to have you as a colleague. She invited you to have coffee with her when you're done before she left the room, and you were quite surprised by the whole thing.
- Hey, did you get everything? - Wanda asked as she entered your room. You were still slightly upset by the way she had reacted earlier, and just nodded. - Can we have a snack?
- Sorry, Wands. - You denied it by organizing one of the last books. - I'm busy.
Wanda blinked in surprise, and crossed her arms.
- What's wrong? - She asked, but you didn't look at her, which seemed to bother her more.
- It's nothing, I just want to finish tidying up. - You lie. 
- Fine then. - She says, sounding upset. - I'll see you later.
And she leaves. You feel like running after her, and apologizing for, well you don't know what exactly. But you just slam the book down harder than necessary.
//-//
You only see Wanda the next day, as she answers a call from Vision outside her room. You swallow the bitter feeling in your throat, and smile, giving her a kiss on the cheek to greet her before heading toward the cafeteria. You have coffee together, and share class schedules so you know when you have time together.
- Is your roommate nice? - You asked as you poured yourself some more cereal, Wanda was leaning her head on her hand, looking at you.
- She is noisy. - Wanda says. - Like you.
You laugh before putting a spoonful of cereal in your mouth. As you chew, Wanda speaks again:
- Your seems grumpy. - She comments and you nod in agreement, causing Wanda to smile slightly.
You drink some orange juice before speaking again.
- She is surprisingly nice, actually. - You comment. - She took me out for coffee yesterday, and we talked.
Wanda murmured, looking away. Maybe she was still upset that you refused to go out with her, but you didn't say anything. 
When you finish breakfast, you have your first classes. You expect to see Wanda soon, but your schedules don't really match.
You just hope it doesn't affect your relationship too much.
//-//
College was a stressful and uncomfortable experience. The classes were difficult and long, and the assignments were even worse than those in high school. And the little free time you had, you wanted to spend with Wanda, but you couldn't neglect your other friends, and you had to divide this little time very well. The parties were good because you got to see all the people at once.
So, two months since you started studying at NYU, you were on the roof of the boys' dormitory, at one of the numerous parties, laughing at Carol Danvers' joke about adult life. 
And your friends are all around you, laughing and talking. And you think you're staring too much at Wanda, who looks stunning in her black dress, but you've been drinking for a few minutes, so you don't care.
Someone turns up the music, and your friends cheer, and then Carol is pulling you by the hand inside, while Nat, Tony, Steve, Sam, Bucky, Wanda and Monica follow behind. 
You begin to dance all together, and you let the beat of the music command your movements as you close your eyes. Then you end up in front of Wanda, because it has always been this way, your bodies always pulled together. 
And it's okay to dance close together, because it's a party. You don't complain when your bodies come together, and she doesn't complain when your hands go down her waist, or when your hips rub against each other. No one seems to notice that your foreheads are together, and you both gasp out of breath shaken by the intensity of your movements.
But someone is drinking too much, and they bump into you, breaking the spell as you stumble away. Your head is spinning a little, and there's someone yelling fight, and then your friends are pulling you by the hand out of the building. 
With the night air, you breathe better. And your gaze searches for Wanda, but she doesn't look happy. She says from a distance that she is tired, and turns toward her own dormitory. You want to go after her, but the look on her face says she wants to be alone. So you take the after party invitation your friends offer.
You are getting used to having more friends that are as close as Wanda. You realize that adult life changes relationships considerably, especially since you no longer have the same amount of time. You prefer to believe that you are getting closer to other people, rather than further away from Wanda.
//-//
It is during the Thanksgiving holiday that you discover that Wanda likes girls. 
The two of you have returned home, and your father has joined Wanda's family in celebration.
After eating a lot, laughing and playing fun games with the whole family, you and Wanda have had many sips of wine, and you are tired and giggly.
You go up to Wanda's room, and talk about college with your heads on the pillows. And then both of you are with your eyes closed, whispering, and practically asleep.
- I am pansexual. - She whispers weakly..
You thought maybe you were dreaming, and it took you a few seconds to fight the sleep and open your eyes, finally understanding what Wanda said. But when you looked at her, she was asleep. You frowned in surprise as you sat up in bed. You ran your fingers through your hair, and moved closer to Wanda only to cover her with the blanket. You lay back down, trying not to stare so long at her sleeping face, but she looked so beautiful and peaceful. Your heart was racing, and you lied to yourself that it was just because of her words. And then you closed your eyes, and it didn't take you long to fall asleep.
The other day, Wanda said she didn't remember anything. And you didn't press her, believing that when she was ready, she would talk to you about it.
//-//
And then you decided to just have lunch with your father before you went back to college, and while you were eating, you thought about how you told him.
"You were thirteen, and you two were sitting watching television, each in an armchair. It was between one score and another. And your heart was beating so loudly, it seemed impossible that he wouldn't notice. 
- I like girls. - You suddenly confessed. Your father blinked in surprise, looking at you quickly, before turning his gaze back to the television.
You swallowed hard.
- I don't know what to say. - He says. - It makes no difference to me.
You nodded frantically, holding back your tears as you stared at the television. And then your father sighed, straightening himself in his chair and turning off the television.
- Come here, darling. - He asked, and you stood up robotically, walking over to him while your gaze was on the floor. - I'm sorry, I'm not good with these things. - he says. - But don't worry, okay? I love you, kid. No matter what, i love you. - And then he lifts his hand and places a finger on her chin, lifting it up gently. - Head up like I taught you, okay? Never let anyone tell you what you can and can't be.
You let your tears flow when you hug him. And you watch the soccer in the same armchair, cuddled in the blankets."
You blink slightly, awakening from the memory. You exchange a smile with your father before going back to eating.
//-//
In the second year, you have your first fight with Wanda since you became friends.
It's stupid, really. You were supposed to meet earlier, and you got the schedules mixed up, and then she got angry and you ran out of patience. Pretty soon you're yelling and accusing, and then she's storming out of your room with a slam on the door.
It is the same day that you see Wanda kissing a girl for the first time too.
Because Tony loves parties, and he invites you over, and there's lots of drinking. And you know you should talk to Wanda about the discussion earlier, but then she is avoiding you and you think you'd better start drinking.
The hours go by, and you should leave because it's a school day tomorrow. But you want to get some air, after having spent the whole party pretending to listen to your friends while your gaze searches for Wanda. And so you go to the roof, shortly after you have lost sight of her, and try to sober up a little with a bottle of water.
You choke as you look around, seeing Wanda being pressed against the wall by a girl you don't recognize.
But they don't see you, and you turn your feet in the opposite direction. And when you are outside, there is a message from Trish on your cell phone saying that she misses you, and you decide to say that you miss her too.
//-//
When your friends ask Wanda about the mysterious girl, she laughs and says it was just a party, that people do that sort of thing. And nobody pressures her. And then Vision is calling her again, and you're too busy to listen because you're texting with Trish.
In February, Trish comes to see you in your dorm. You talk a lot, and it's nice and safe. And you ignore the feeling that it is not right. And then Nat opens the door, and gives you a mischievous smile, before taking her bag and leaving again.
And then other dates happen after that, and the more time you spend with Trish, the less you spend with Wanda. And that's okay, because you're adults now, and these things happen. And now Trish kisses you as often as Wanda goes on dates with Vision. And then you want to ignore the nervousness in your stomach when you're kissing while there's a sock on the doorknob. 
- I can't do this. - You confess breathlessly with swollen lips.
Trish doesn't mind. She is thoughtful and patient, and she tells you that everything is fine. And the dates continue for a few weeks, until you tell her that you are not in love with her. She hugs you, and says you never seemed to.
But when you walk back to your dorm, Vision has come to see Wanda. And she smiles, and kisses him. And you want to throw up, but you nod politely as you walk past them and throw yourself on your bed in your dorm. 
- What's the matter with you? - Natasha asks the next moment. She is sitting at her desk, probably doing some homework.
- I broke up with Trish. - You say this as if it were the real reason. Nat lets out a grumble of understanding.
- Why don't you try hanging out with Wanda for a while?
You close your eyes and bury your face in your pillow at the mention of her name. But then you feel irritated, and are sitting up in bed.
- Vision is here. - You comment with irony, and Nat giggles.
- Wow, this is bad. - She says, writing something in her notebook. - It must be hard to share a girlfriend.
Her teasing bothers you. Or maybe it is something else.
- We're not girlfriends. - Nat giggles, and you let out an impatient sigh. - I'm not laughing. What are you trying to imply?
Nat turns her head toward you, her eyes gleaming in defiance.
- Insinuating? I am presenting facts. - she says with a slight irony. - What would you call "friends" who act like you and Wanda? I know them as a couple.
- That's ridiculous. - You retort. - We act like everyone else.
- Excuse me, when was the last time you had a nightmare and crawled into my bed in the middle of the night? - She mocks. - Or got all upset when I went out with a boy? Oh, I have an amazing one. When you became my emergency contact for everything?
You blink in surprise. Nat doesn't look angry, just impatient. You don't like the feeling in your stomach.
- Just because you are not as good of a friend as Wanda, doesn't mean that we are dating. - You accuse grumpily, and regret it at the same second. So Nat is looking at you with disbelief and irritation, and then she leaves the room.
You wish you could disappear, but you force yourself to get up, hoping to catch up with her in time. But when you leave the dormitory, you don't see her anywhere.
You resist the urge to punch something.
It is already evening, and Nat has not returned to the dormitory yet, and you are anxious and impatient as you wait in your room, after having spent the afternoon trying to distract yourself with some pending lessons. And then you go outside again, and try to call. After falling into the mailbox a few times, you decide to leave a message, while leaning on the balcony bench at the entrance to the dormitory.
- Hey, Nat. It's me. - You say on the phone. - I'm sorry for saying that you are not a good friend. That is absolutely untrue. You are loyal, and fun. And you put up with my shit even when I'm being a brat. I'm sorry that I acted without thinking, I guess I didn't want to see the truth. No one has ever confronted me about Wanda like that. - You confess, and take a deep breath. - Anyway, I hope you don't hate me forever, it would be hard to get along in the dorm. - You joke last. - Please call me when you can.
You put the cell phone back in your pocket, running your hand through your hair. And then there is a female voice that you know well.
- Are you all right? - Wanda asks walking towards him. She was coming from the dormitory entrance; she had probably just said goodbye to Sight.
- Everything is fine. - You reply with irony. - I'm just making sure Nat knows she' s a good friend.
Wanda blinks in confusion, and then assumes an ironic posture.
- Wow, I would like to hear that I am a good friend. - She jokes, and you bite your lip, feeling your irritation rise. 
- This whole fight only happened because of you, so I find it difficult. - You retort aggressively, and Wanda frowns in surprise.
- What's the matter with you?
- You, Wanda. - You retort, straightening your posture. - I'm tired of it all.
Wanda takes a step back, confused, and you feel your body boil with anger.
- I don't know what you are talking about.
- I'm talking about us. - You clarify impatiently. Wanda blinks in confusion, crossing her arms and lifting her chin.
- There is no us. - She retorts. - I'm with Vision...
You laugh wryly and approach her.
- I'm tired of this game where we pretend you're not in love with me. - You say seriously. - It's exhausting not loving you the way I want to.
Wanda shakes her head in denial, her eyes filled with tears as she takes a step back.
- I don't...
- Wanda.
- No. - she says seriously. - Just because you're gay doesn't mean that all girls are.
She seems to regret her own words as soon as she speaks them, because she takes a step toward you, but you let out a dry laugh, before walking away. Maybe Wanda has called you, but you don't look back.
//-//
You are on the verge of emotional misery, but you feel better when Nat brings you some hot chocolate. She forgave you for the fight, and apologized for pushing you, but explained that she couldn't stand to see you grumpy anymore whenever Wanda answered the phone and it was Vision calling. And then you told her about your conversation with Wanda, and she hugged you, and said she hoped things would work out.
You weren't talking to Wanda for the time being. It was strange, and it felt like a piece of your life was missing, but you tried to fill it in with homework and television series.
When the mid-year exams came around, you wished you had never come to college in the first place. It seemed like you were going to explode with anxiety and stress at any moment. 
 And then the vacations came, and you went back home, this time you took the train. 
Pietro visited you the day you arrived. You went out for hamburgers, and after you talked about people from college, he mentioned Wanda.
- She misses you, you know? 
You were sitting in the empty stands of your old high school, and you leaned your arms on the metal and your chin on top of them, looking at the field. Pietro was with one of his legs crossed in his lap, looking at you.
- I miss her too. - You confessed. - But we both said stupid things, and there's no going back from that.
Pietro took a bite of his burger before speaking again.
- I just think it's weird to go out with you without her. - He remarks, and you laugh softly.
- Hey, we are friends too.
- Of course we are. - he says. - But you were like, well, I don't know, soul mates maybe.
You feel your heart break, but force a smile.
- You're too corny, Pietro.
He laughs and goes back to eating. And then he lets out a low exclamation, as if to tell you something.
- I guess you two must have talked about it already, and all that. - he says. - But Wanda told our parents that she is pansexual.
You raise your head quickly and end up hitting the top iron of the railing, and Pietro looks worried, but you just ignore his look, and ask:
- What did you say?
He looks surprised as you massage the spot where you hit your head. But then he shrugs his shoulders.
- She told us during Dad's birthday. Just before the weeks of exams when she came here. - He says. - It was fine, Dad was surprised and Mom didn't really know what to say, but they took it very well.
- And you?
Pietro laughed.
- I bought her a flag the next day.
You laugh, pushing Pietro lightly by the shoulder. 
- Wow, that's good to know. - You say. - She must have been happy.
- Yeah, well. I think she would have liked to have you there, though. - Pietro says and you look away, knowing that he is right. - I always thought you would be the first person she would tell.
You swallow dryly, remembering that Thanksgiving night. But then Pietro's cell phone rings, and he says he has to go, so you are driving home mumbling songs into the radio in Pietro's car.
//-//
It's good to go back to college, because you see your friends. But it also means that you see Wanda in the dormitory hallways, and occasionally in the college building.
- You are staring again. - Natasha warned you when you were in the library, and you blinked in confusion, looking away from Wanda, across the room.
- I wasn't. - You grumbled, looking at your book. Nat laughed.
- Jesus, why don't you two just talk to each other?
- She has already said what she has to say. - You retorted with a shrug. Nat sighed.
- What about you? - She asks and you frown in confusion. - Have you said everything you wanted to say?
You look away again, thinking. No. You haven't said half of what you wanted to say. Honestly, you couldn't even tell Wanda that you were proud of her for coming out.  But you pushed those thoughts away for the moment.
You went back to studying for a few minutes, trying to distract your thoughts. But then Nat received a message and let out an excited exclamation.
- Party on Saturday. - She announced, looking at her cell phone. - I'll confirm our presence.
You let out a grumble, and she looked at you.
- Don't even start with that. - She said. - You need to get out of that room, for God's sake.
You laughed lightly, laying your head against the books. Nat massaged your hair with one hand while she sent Steve an audio message saying that you were behaving like a crybaby, but that you were going to the party.
//-//
The party was bubbling with noise and people. Nat stood next to you for the first five minutes, and then you laughed when she let out an exclamation when she saw older foreign students who were very handsome, and you gave her a little push to go talk to them. 
Your gaze finds Wanda in the room almost within the next minute. Looking fucking gorgeous. And she looked back, so you found it hard to breathe in there, and looked for the exit.
It was amazing how you always ended up on the rooftops in this place.
You lean your arms on the balcony, enjoying the cool evening breeze. And then you feel a glance behind your back, and you don't have to turn to know who it is.
The next instant Wanda is beside you, mimicking your position.
- Hi. - She greets you by looking forward as you do.
- Hi. - You answer softly. - You look beautiful.
You watch her smile slightly from the corner of your eye.
- How are you? - she asks. And you bite the inside of your cheek. 
You adjust your posture and turn to her.
- I need to say a few things to you. - You say, and she looks surprised by the sudden change, but also turns and looks at you. You take a deep breath to build up courage. - I'm sorry I pushed you that day. I shouldn't have done that. - You say and Wanda looks ready to say something, but you add quickly, believing that if you don't say it all, you won't say it anymore. - Also, I visited Pietro during the vacations, and he told me that you told your parents that you were pansexual. And I'm proud of you for that, and I'm sorry I wasn't there with you.
Wanda looks at you wide-eyed, and you let out a sigh.
- Wow, you said a lot of things. - She then declares with a slight frown, and you let out a short laugh. - But I need to apologize too. I was mean to you. And I'm sorry for that. - She smiles next, looking down at the floor. - But what about all those things you said about ... us. Are you sorry about that too?
You swallow dryly, feeling your heart race. And Wanda looks at you with sparkling eyes.
-No. - You tell her. - I meant every word.
Wanda's cheeks flush as she smiles, but then there is a loud noise and you both look over to see Natasha snuggled up to a boy entering the roof area. She steps aside to close the door, and then she notices you both, giving you a mischievous smile as she pulls the boy by his shirt into the corner of the roof. You and Wanda laugh at the scene, but the moment from before is broken. Especially since you can hear Natasha kissing a few feet away.
- So... friends? - Wanda asks, holding out her hand to you after you look at her again. You shake her hand, smiling.
- Friends.
//-//
Things are going great. You are doing well in the tests, you are having healthy habits and you are about to combust every time you are with Wanda, maybe the last part is not so good.
You have resumed your friendship in the same way as before. And when you told Natasha about this she laughed for fifteen minutes.
And then you eventually found out that Vision was no longer in Wanda's life. Pietro called you and mentioned this superficially, as if it wasn't something that completely changed your dynamic. Maybe you were overthinking it. 
The relevant thing was that there was a tension in your relationship that you were not used to having. Or maybe it had always been there, and you just ignored it better.
Like now, studying in the library, sitting side by side, with your legs touching under the table. You have spent the last twenty minutes repeating to yourself not to think about it so much instead of actually studying. 
- How did you do exercise number thirteen? - Wanda asked suddenly. You almost choked with fright, but you masked it by turning the pages of the book. You hadn't even done any exercises. But then Wanda came closer, looking at your notebook, and you resisted the urge to close your eyes as the smell of her shampoo invaded your senses. - Are you all right?
You blinked in surprise when Wanda looked at you. She had turned her head toward you, and you could see her eyelashes clearly. 
- Huh? - you mumbled, feeling hyperaware of the proximity. Wanda frowned, bringing her hand to your cheek.
- You're warm. Are you getting sick?
You were trying to disguise that you were trembling at her touch, and then Natasha arrived, throwing the books on the table and looking at you both with curiosity over your position. But Wanda turned away with a smile, and greeted Nat, while you tried to normalize your heartbeat.
The three of you went back to studying together, it was easier to concentrate now that you had Nat's judgmental gaze on you, waiting for a slip to make a comment that would embarrass you.
//-//
You have a free period in the late afternoon, and go back to your dorm. Nat is lying on the bed with a book on her lap.
- God, don't you seniors ever study? - You sneer as you enter, and she laughs. 
- Pick the right classes and you'll have as much free time as I do. - She replies without taking her eyes off the paper. You flop down on your bed, let out a sigh. - What's wrong?
- I didn't say anything. - You retort with humor. Nat closes the book and crosses her legs, looking at you.
- It's your energy. - She says, and you laugh with confusion. - You have a charged energy, my friend. What's going on?
- I really don't know what you are talking about. - You say with a slight laugh and turn over on the bed to rest your head on her arm and look at her.
Nat is thoughtful for a few seconds, and then stands up in the direction of the room, picking up her cell phone. She reads something on her screen for a while, while you stare at your sheet, and then she lets out an exclamation.
- Aha, here it is! - She says without taking her eyes off the device, but turning her body toward you. - The sexual aura is detected through...
- Oh my god. - You interrupt by throwing a pillow at her, and she just laughs and deflects, while putting the phone down. You bury your face in the bed, feeling it warm.
- Girl, you are emanating a sexual lust! - Nat exclaims, throwing the pillow back at you. - You need to get laid!
- Please shut up! - You ask, your voice muffled against the bed sheet. Nat laughs as she walks around the room.
And then there is a knock on the door, and someone enters. You pull your face away from the sheet to see Wanda.
- Wow, it's fate. - Nat sneers and you move quickly on the bed to attack her, but she laughs and deflects your hands, running away. She shouts something like "don't forget the sock" before slamming the door on her way out.
- What was that? - Wanda asks with a giggle as you throw yourself back onto the bed, your face reddening.
- Nat is crazy, don't listen to her. - You grumble and then adjust your position to sit up in bed. - I didn't know you were free now.
Wanda smiles, dropping her backpack on the floor. 
- The teacher let us off early. - She says as she walks over to you, sitting down across from you on the end of the bed. - I thought about watching a movie.
You let out an exclamation of agreement, moving on the bed to reach for your notebook. Wanda lies down beside you.
And things go well for about forty minutes. You think it's the choice of film that's to blame. If you had chosen one of the sitcoms that Wanda likes, you would be laughing right now. But you decided to watch Carol's recommendation given a few weeks ago. And so now you watched in silence a particularly visual lesbian sex scene.
You weren't sure whether your heart was pounding in shame or excitement, but judging by the rising heat at the tip of your belly and in your cheeks, it was easy to guess.
You want to think of something to say that might lighten the mood, but Wanda moves again, as if interested.
- Wow, did you ever do that? - she asks, pointing briefly at the movement on the screen. You swallow dryly.
- No. - You say in a slightly husky voice. - I've never...
And then Wanda looks at you in surprise.
- I thought you and Trish...
You let out a clumsy laugh. 
- Yeah, almost. - you say. - But I told her I couldn't.
- Why not?
You look away from her.
- You know why.
Wanda lets out a sigh, and then she turns to the notebook, closing the equipment and placing it on the other end of the bed. You look at her confused, wondering if she was angry, but your brain short-circuits as she turns to you and sits on your lap.
- Oh, okay. - You sigh shyly as Wanda relaxes her weight on top of you. She smiles as she puts her hands on your shoulders.
- What do you want to do? - she asks softly, looking into your eyes intensely. You feel your heart beating against your ears. 
- What do you mean? - you ask with a trembling voice.
- What do you want to do to me? - She asks with a slight blush on her cheeks, bringing their faces together until their foreheads are resting against each other. - Do you want to kiss me?
- Fuck. - You sigh. - Yes, a lot.
And then Wanda breaks the distance between your mouths, gasping against your lips. You feel your whole body electrify, and move your hands up to her waist. And then she pulls away again.
- Was that good? - she asks breathlessly.  You are trembling as you pull her back, this time kissing her with your tongue. And this time she doesn't interrupt.
When you part your mouths again, your bodies are sweaty and tired.  And she blushes when you smile at her, burying her face in your collarbone.  You cover yourselves with the blanket, and close your eyes. 
Many hours later, when you wake up for a snack and meet Nat in the cafeteria, she tells you that your aura is clear as she gives you a suggestive look.
You are dreaming about Wanda. But that's okay, because she is curled up against you, and you have rings on your fingers, and shared key chains.
1K notes · View notes
doctorofmagic · 3 years
Text
My thoughts on What If... Doctor Strange Lost His Heart Instead of His Hands?
The very title of the episode sends a shiver down my spine. And this is where we’re going to start.
~ long post under the cut ~
A year ago, I wrote this post as an attemp to dive into one of the most important traits in Doctor Strange’s personality: love. Stephen is a being made of love, made to love, no matter which interpretation you have when you watch Infinity War. If you don’t read comic books, you’ll understand the moment you meet Donna. You’ll begin to understand how her death reshaped his entire subjectivity out of fear of failing, being powerless and unable to control everything around him (especially death), thus the arrogant and yet a disaster of a man we all know.
Where do I even start? Stephen loved her sister deeply and felt responsible for her death. And then, slowly, he also lost his parents and his brother. He fell in love with Clea but he also pushed her away. He loved Zelma platonically and lied to her, which was enough for them to break their bond. He felt attracted to Kanna but screwed things up, even though they remain friends. He was forced to kill the Ancient One, the only father figure he had ever since his father died. And lastly, the only person who would never leave his side... also left. Yes, even Wong. Stephen has SO much love to give but he’s also afraid because he’s cursed. He truly believes his love in poison. And would you look at that? What If really delivered a story where this is actually true.
What If Doctor Strange Lost His Heart Instead of His Hands?
The level of understanding when it comes to the character is... inconceivable. What could possibly reshape Stephen into following a dark path but love? The very premise of the whole episode. This is so much more than a love letter. This is literally too much, in all senses.
Fine, let’s begin.
What if the best of intentions has very strange consequences?
Tumblr media
No. You used the word “strange” for the pun but this is not the word. Nah-ah. I’d go with ATROCIOUS, for starters. Things are gonna escalate so quickly, my friends.
Seriously, tho? Christine is SO SO SO SO beautiful, they’re so cute together. I have this feeling that MCU!Stephen was quite toxic because of his arrogance and this is why they didn’t work out. But WhatIf!Stephen???????? He’s always praising her, teasing her in a healthy way, respecting her and listening to her. HE TRULY LOVES HER, I’M GONNA CRY ALL OVER AGAIN, PLEASE, NOT THE CRÈME BRÛLÉE, PLEASE
Tumblr media
I’m going to leave this shot here because we need to go back to it later. Hold that thought.
Tumblr media
And bonus points to “Yeah, well, I would call that quite remarkable.” / “Well, I would say the same about you.”
GODS. THE PAIN. STOP THE PAIN.
So in this reality, Stephen didn’t caused the car accident because he was checking his phone while driving. Also it was not the reckless attempt to pass the truck. Well, maybe it was the consequence of this act? The fact is, the car behind them loses control, which makes them crash. Does it matter? We’ll learn later that no, it doesn’t.
And yep... Christine dies. Have you noticed the shattered heart? Ah, the pain only gets better and better.
Tumblr media
Again, Stephen blames himself. More than anything, this is so important because Stephen is all about guilt. We still need to meet Donna so we can add yet another layer of guilt. But the feeling exists. This is what corrupts Stephen’s heart and soul in all his iterations. This is what makes him the character I love so much. I love this SO. MUCH. In addition, his stubbornness to accept his condition. Man won’t take a no. This, this is Doctor Strange in character. Stop complaining about NWH Stephen, it’s pathetic.
Okay, “grief-stricken”, Stephen found the Mystic Arts and became a sorcerer. That’s when he learned about the Time Stone, the Eye of Agamotto and Dormammu. Nothing changes, he saves the universe. But time does not heal his deepest wound.
Tumblr media
I love Wong so much. Every time Wong does something, the world is healed. Really. We’re going back to him as well but for now I’ll just leave this shot.
Tumblr media
BUT STEPHEN, DOING SOMETHING RECKLESS? HE’D NEVAH
Tumblr media
Aaaaaaaannnnnnd then he did.
Tumblr media
He goes back in time. It’s been two years since he lost Christine. I think he reacted pretty nicely, despite the circumstances. Now let’s go back to that shot I said I was saving for later.
Stephen is so light-hearted here. Also, during the first time he lost Christine, he had no idea what “The Price is Right” was. He knows now, which means he probably tried to learn more about the show because of her, because of grief. HAHAHA MORE PAIN
Tumblr media
AND THEN HE
Tumblr media
AND THEN SHE DIES AGAIN
AND THEN HE KEEPS GOING BACK IN TIME
AND SHE KEEPS DYING
AND THE MUSIC
AND HIS VOICE
AND HE TRIES TO CHANGE FATE BUT IT CAN’T BE AVERTED
HE EVEN TRIES TO STAY AWAY FROM HER LIFE BUT SHE DIES ALL THE SAME, WHY
AND EVERY TIME THEY CRASH, HE FEELS THE PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL PAIN AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN, WHY
I’M-- *ugly sobbing noises*
Tumblr media
Apparently, not.
And this scene when he simply... closes his eyes before she dies again...?
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
This is where this episode had me in endless tears. It got me the four times I watched it. I’m dead serious.
Okay, so, next the Ancient One appears to Stephen, explaining that Christine’s death is an Absolute Point in time. It cannot be changed. Stephen needs the accident to become the Sorcerer Supreme and defeat Dormammu.
Tumblr media
And this is where Stephen starts his journey into darkness. “Nothing is impossible, you taught me that. I only require more power.” Disobeying the Ancient One, Stephen then travels in time, seeking the Library of Cagliostro. Now, if you’re not aware of that, Cagliostro was a sorcerer who studied time in comics, and later became Sise-Neg (there’s a recent post on this because of the new Defenders run). It’s funny to think that Sise-Neg also destroyed the world when he became a god, however he grew past his pettiness and remade reality. Stephen did not possess such power, as we’re about to see.
PS: “Stop torturing yourself, Stephen.” Naur but he should use this line like a mantra. Especially comics!Stephen.
Not gonna lie, tho. This place reminds me of the Temple of the Vishanti from T&T (of course I was going to insert T&T somewhere, it’s me).
Tumblr media
And of course they’d go for a pun with his name haha. I don’t know how to feel about this, tho. I feel like the episode is too heavy and dark for comedy. But it is what it is.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Okay but why some books are in cages??????????? And wow, it seems Cagliostro also gathered knowledge about several fields of magic.
And then Stephen learns that, in order to break an Absolute Point, he needs to absorb more power. This is when I went “oh-oh, here we go”.
And for real, is this Shuma-Gorath? Why are they keeping his name a secret? Is this the same creature from the first episode with Captain Carter, right? RIGHT? It has to be Shuma-Gorath.
Tumblr media
Of course he tries to be polite and ends up all hurt haha. O’Bengh warns him about love but he will not listen. “Love can break more than your heart. It can shatter your mind.”/ “Is she worth the pain?”. Please, this is Stephen. He eats pain for breakfast.
Also, also, let’s take a break. We’re finally going to get monsterf0cker tentacle-lover Stephen Strange. It will cost us everything but here we goooooooooooo (yes, I went frame by frame for your more obscure fanservice needs)
Gods, I love this sequence so much it hurts. Okay, here we go.
Shmebulock???????????
Tumblr media
AND HE STOLE THE CAPE??????????? AND DREW THE LINE ON BUGS??????
The grasp this man is holding on me right now...
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Some of you will understand. I’m with you.
And here are the grostesque ones. These are hard to take SS but I had to.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Animation, sound effects, OST? CHEF’S KISS TO ALL
And lastly... the tentacles. Yeah, if you’re new... this is a thing.
Tumblr media
Fanservice. Fanservice everywhere. (low-key the reason I also waited to write this review, I wanted to enjoy this part so badly but I was too sad for that lmao)
Okay so. O’Bengh is suddenly OLD and DYING, until we realize that Stephen spent CENTURIES absorbing mystic beings. CENTURIES. WTF STEPHEN. He had nothing in mind but the goal to save Christine. And people wonder why he went insane???? I’m sorry, O’Bengh, but I can’t take you serious when you still call Stephen Sorcerer Armani. Oh, and also because you watched him absorb beings for centuries in silence lmao. But I guess I have to because you said that Stephen is split in two since the Ancient One cast a spell on him, splitting the timelines and making them exist in the same reality before he could travel back in time. I know, it’s complex. Anything for the plot.
And now good!Stephen has an evil!twin who wants to absorb him back in order to become whole and break the Absolute Point. Cool.
I said I wanted to talk more about Wong because I think people are not talking about him enough. Wong is so important in this episode. He’s the one who’s trying to heal Stephen after Christine. He’s Stephen’s anchor.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Also, THEY FINALLY USED A SPELL WITH THE NAME OF THE VISHANTI. HOORAAAAY
So, for the sake of our understanding, I’m addressing the characters as evil and good!Stephen. Let’s go. Evil!Stephen summons good!Stephen and gods, he still holds such a strong grasp on me... unbelievable. THE DEEPER VOICE BENEDICT USES???? PLEASE, DIDN’T WE HAVE ENOUGH?
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Imagine his strength to hold so many beings inside him, fighting to control him. BRO, THIS IS TOO TOO MUCH
Tumblr media
Fine, I’ll not post SS about the fight because I’d be here all night long but I WILL say this: NOT CLOAKIE!!!!! NAAAAAAAAAAUR
Tumblr media
Also if you ask me if I recognize any of the spells? Maaaaybe the Flames of Faltine, the not-so-crimson Bands of Cyttorak and a little trick Magik does with her portals. That’s how far I go.
I’ll not comment on the “seducing yourself to stay in the trap”. I will not. I’ll just say that the first person Stephen thought of when “Christine” was talking about the crème brûlée was Wong. That’s it.
And finally evil!Stephen absorbs good!Stephen and releases... UNLIMITED POWER (I love when the stone goes red as if it was bleeding aaaaaaa)
Tumblr media
I can fix him...
Tumblr media
This scene here? Poetic cinema. (I love his wings so much)
Tumblr media
And when Stephen says her name and the other monsters’ voices echo “Christine”, AAAAAACKKKK
AND OF COURSE CHRISTINE WOULD FREAK OUT, BRO. LOOK AT WHAT YOU’VE BECOME BECAUSE OF YOUR TWISTED LOVE. I’M NOT DOING FINE.
Oh, but it’s too late anyways because Stephen broke reality haha. This scene is interesting because Stephen is the only one who sensed and/or talked to the Watcher until now. I read an interview that the Watcher kinda showed up but it’s also about Stephen’s keen senses. Bit of both, let’s say. Still, man, 616-Watcher is not that cold. 616-Watcher would watch this and say “how about I intervene anyway?”. WhatIf!Watcher is brutal.
Tumblr media
The way Christine looks at Stephen one last time also KILLS ME, DESTROYS ME, BREAK ME INTO A MILLION PIECES.
Tumblr media
And this is where my soul left my body.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
This is how they end the episode. This is how you leave me speechless and with teary eyes. This is how you give me a whole existential crisis.
This... this was brutal to watch. Really.
What can I say after this? I’m used to reading painful things when it comes to Stephen. Aaron’s and Cates’ runs are heartbreaking on so many levels. Hickman’s New Avengers is not easier. Coincidentally, What If? Magik Became Sorcerer Supreme and The End. And now Death of Doctor Strange. And yet, after everything I’ve been through, I’d never expect to watch something so brilliant, so tragic, so heartbreaking and unexpected in the MCU. Never. This is top tier content and this is my favorite character with SO MANY LAYERS and SO MUCH UNDERSTANDING. I can’t put into words how meaningful this whole episode is to me, or how deep it touched my heart and soul.
I’ve been struggling to find the proper words since then, I still can’t. All I can add is, I cried for the 4th time now. This is too, too much, even for Stephen stans. Even for the ones who are used to pain, regardless of which media you’re into: comic books, live actions or animated movies. This is literally more than I can take and yet I’m so, so grateful. The voice acting, gods, how did Benedict manage to create a better Stephen than the one he’s literally playing in real life???????????? HOW
This episode really took the max potential Stephen had to offer as a character, added tons and tons of layers based on his grief, depression, arrogance and need to control everything and created a tragic masterpiece. In 7 years of being a Doctor Strange fan, I've never read or watch something that could go this deep into the character. The closest I can think of is Mr. Misery and the metaphor of Stephen's depression. This is a whole new level of respect and understanding. This is more than a love letter. This is peak maestry. It’s perfect, it’s heartbreaking, it’s... gods, I can’t.
Sorry for dragging you until this far. Before I wrap up this review, I just wanted to remind you all that Stephen will appear again, he will smile again, he will be surrounded by people again. So this is not the end. It was painful but be brave. We still have a few more steps to take.
Tumblr media
172 notes · View notes
slightlymore · 4 years
Text
my soulmate loves wine
part of the ‘soulmates collection’
Tumblr media
doyoung x fem reader
others: jaemin, jeno 
genre: one-shot, soulmates au, enemies? to lovers, romance, smut, fluffy tones, phone chat (there are pics of the conversation) 
warnings: tarot readings, alcohol, swearing, insults, explicit sex scenes (oral f and m, penetration, protected and unprotected - seriously, have unprotected sex only with people you trust. if you will have unprotected sex with strangers, i will manifest in the room and besides it being absolutely embrarrassing for you, i will also smack your heads together and call you stupid - bondage, rough, spanking, hair pulling, spit swallowing, slight breeding kink, use of 'slut', dom doyoung,  sub doyoung, overstimulation f and m, edging f and m, dry humping, wet humping, mouth fucking, cum swallowing, slight exhibitionism, f solo, m solo, phone sex), doyoung has a big cock too lmao (in all of my own personal readings I always get that my soulmate has a big cock for no reason and I thought it was a funny detail)
words: 17K
tag list:  @seostudios @doyochii @doodlingpizza @eboyhyunjunreblogs​ @mina-is-babie @sorrywonwoo @peterrogers15 @delphiskpoporacle @waffletaeng @wownajaemin @shimyshimykoko @doyoung-onli @chxb03 @strawberrymilkandcigarettes @hyucksie​ @neonun-au​ @cumtrov3rsy​ 
_____
January 1st 2:23 am 
And if he's not my soulmate, I'd rather wander alone than touching someone else's skin, I'd rather walk this earth with no hand to hold and lift me from the ground. And if I have to heal from it and accept the universe's imposed call, I'd rather suffer from my eternally open wounds. I'll fight the stars and let them burn me, I'll let them laugh at my weakest state and I'd gladly make them erase my memory of ever existing in all of the infinite lives if I have to follow Fate. 
Doyoung felt the golden letters on the book cover in front of him and raised his eyes when he heard the crystal curtain move. 
“I wouldn’t open it if I were you.” 
A middle-aged woman was smiling at him, walking towards the table Doyoung and Jaemin were sat at. 
The room became even darker but a certain comfort engulfed Doyoung when she smiled. 
“I’ve never seen a book with a poem on the cover instead of a title.” 
“A dear friend of mine made it.” 
Her expression was calm and peaceful when she eyed the book and put her hand on it, pulling it towards herself. 
“It’s beautiful,” Doyoung looked at the worn bordeaux leather. “What’s inside?” 
“I’m glad you like it. And that’s-,” she leaned in mysteriously, “-a secret.” 
As she spoke, a little candle lit up between them and the boys both flinched. 
“Wow,” Jaemin whispered. 
Doyoung blinked at the woman then chuckled once, laughing mostly at himself for being so jumpy for no reason. That place was made to look creepy but he reminded himself that it was only a facade. 
“I’m here for a reading.” Her gaze was piercing and Doyoung realized that she hadn’t stopped looking at him since she entered the room. 
“There’s a certain resistance on your part.” Doyoung tried not to snort. “Well…” I don’t believe in these sorts of things, he wanted to say, but Jaemin suddenly laughed, slamming his palm on the table and making a decent amount of colourful stones jingle on the glass table. 
Doyoung sighed. “Sorry, my friend is very drunk.” 
“You’re also drunk as fuck,” the other pointed his finger to the first’s face, poking him in the nose as he couldn’t keep his balance. 
The woman smiled kindly as if unbothered to suddenly have two obnoxious young men trying to get a reading at two in the morning.  “This is going to be a love reading. We’ll see what the Spirit wants to tell you about your soulmate.” “Actually, I’m here for a general one? Like, I don’t know-,” Doyoung tried to find his words and looked at Jaemin. “Money and sex?” the younger one suggested before they could have another laughter fit for no apparent reason. The woman kept the corner of her lips lifted as she retrieved a beautiful tarot deck. “Would you blow on this please?” Jaemin tried to open his eyes. “Blow? Of course. Doyoung is good at blowing.” Doyoung hit him with the shoulder. “Shut the fuck up. We’ll get kicked out if you continue,” he whispered amused. Or at least he tried to whisper. The boys kept giggling for a few more moments then got serious as they eyed the spread of cards in front of them. 
The woman nodded and smiled. 
Doyoung blinked at the lady then at the cards. 
"There's mystery and magic attached to this connection. The universe wants this to be a surprise. You’ve been manifesting a lot, haven’t you?” 
The young man felt suddenly very awake. 
“Uhm, no.” 
“It’s okay if you’re not honest with me. The Spirit can see your true feelings. It’s saying that if you needed a confirmation that this is real, then here it is.”
Doyoung stared at her nail, tapping at the card and wondered how many years of training she needed to be able to read people like that since he was sure that that piece of paper could not be able to tell her anything. 
Relaxing on his chair he tried to put on the most neutral expression ever then nodded. 
Okay, it meant. Go on. 
“King of cups. Your soulmate is very in touch with their emotions. They’re going to teach you how to open up more since it’s difficult for you to express what you’re feeling.” Doyoung tightened his lips before he could wrongfully deny it. On his left, Jaemin was already sleeping with his head on the table.
_____
January 1st 2:23 pm 
"Will we know right away that we're each other's soulmate?" 
The Lady smiled and nodded at your widened and curious eyes. 
"You have an intense soul connection. Also, you’ll know right away because sex-,” You gulped. “-is going to be the best you’ve ever had in your whole life. He’s a very fiery person and is quite domineering, I can tell it from the King of swords. He wants to dominate you in bed, maybe pull your hair? You love it. And he definitely loves your body, especially legs and chest. He worships you and he will put you on a pedestal.” 
You felt your face warm up so you put your palms on your cheeks, trying hard to process all of that information. 
The woman continued after a little giggle to herself. “He can come off a little cocky. He thinks he’s very good in bed thanks to his natural attributes but that’s just because he’s a little insecure. Maybe consider reassuring him that he’s making you feel good?” 
Your mouth was dry and you automatically nodded. 
“Wait, what do you mean with- uh-- with natural attributes?”
_____
Sometime in June 
“Did you hear about the guy accused of stealing because it looked like he had something in his pocket while in reality, it was his 10 inches monster?” Jaemin asked before laughing like a supervillain, head thrown back on the couch cushions, splattering spit all over Doyoung who was sitting near him with furrowed eyebrows as he tried to find a good movie to watch. 
“Yeah, it was me,” Doyoung replied with a monotone voice. 
“Oh? Doyoung made a joke? I guess I might say that you’re-- cocky?” 
Doyoung chuckled even if he tried not to. 
“Okay, since you’re in a good mood-,” the other clapped his hands once. “No.” “You don’t even know what I wanted to ask you!” Jaemin whined. “I’m busy.” “You don’t do anything all day.” “I have to take care of my monster cock-” Jaemin slapped Doyoung’s mouth to cover it. “It hurts,” he mumbled. 
“Listen. Next Sunday you’ll accompany me at the opening of a new winery. You don’t have to do anything besides be pretty and drink wine while I try to get between one of the associates’ legs.” “I knew it had to do with pussy.” “She invited me! It’s not like I can refuse. I’ve had a crush on her ever since I met her at that work meeting.” “You mean a few days ago?” “Love has no stages.” “Why do I have to come with you?” “I have two invitations. Drinking expensive wine for free? Hello? I’m doing you a favour," he spoke quickly and dramatically, clicking his fingers. “You need three invitations, for me and my co--ahi!” Doyoung giggled after Jaemin smacked him with a cushion.
_____
You had no idea you’d be having backseat sex that day and honestly, you felt highly unprepared. 
Black ripped jeans and a leather jacket, the most basic outfit one guy could have on, yet you were salivating and for once it was not because of the pizza Jeno was handing you. 
“Uhm, Houston?” he clicked his fingers in front of your face then looked into the direction you were looking. 
“The guy on the right?” he asked without batting an eye. “How did you know?” you turned your head suddenly to face him and he put the slice of pizza inside of your open mouth. Then he rolled his eyes. 
“He’s completely your type.” "I want to fuck him."
Jeno raised one eyebrow and you suddenly realized what you've just said. 
"No. I meant-," "Hey! Guy with the rabbit mask!" Jeno suddenly yelled at the group of boys sitting on the grass in front of you. "What the fuck are you doing? Are you stupid?" you pulled his arm down. "My friend here said that she wants to f-," you slammed a hand on his mouth before he could finish. "I'm going to kill you," you whispered as Jeno started to giggle. 
The Rabbit boy looked at you for a little while, tilting his head to the side, but then turned his back to you. He probably didn't hear anything and thought that you were all drunk. 
“What the fuck was that?” you whispered. 
Jeno sighed. “Y/N. You’re too shy. If you want to fuck a guy just go and do it."
You scoffed. “I’m too shy? I am not shy. I can fuck whoever I want.” “Yeah? Then fuck the Rabbit.” 
You crossed your arms on your chest and put your tongue in your cheek. 
“Can’t do it huh?” Jeno teased you. "I can. And I will." "I bet you can't." "I bet I will."
_____
“I’ll be honest with you. I’m here because of a bet.” The Rabbit had a gulp of beer as if girls with a Moon mask approached him with bet talk every day. Then he giggled. 
“Sorry, your mask is ridiculous.” 
You rolled your eyes even if he couldn’t see it. 
Okay, he was a douche. Did you still want to fuck him though? Yes. 
“What’s the bet about?” he inquired. 
You straightened your lips in a tight line, the sound of your pulse almost audible in the silence of the parking lot. 
“MyfriendsaidthatIwouldn’tbeabletofuckyoubecauseI’mshyandIwanttoprovetohimthatI’mnot.” 
You spitted everything out thanks to the gigantic amounts of wine you had that night and found yourself panting a little when you were done. A little voice inside your head was screaming that it was dangerous and highly inappropriate for you to behave like that but you shrugged internally and hit it in the face.
“What?” the dude asked after a beat. 
You sighed. “MyfriendsaidthatIw-” “Okay, okay,” he raised his palms, “hold up. Talk slowly? Your friend what?” “Myfriendsaid-” “Can you just talk slowly, please?” 
“Nevermind,” you turned your back to him and walked away. 
“Mooney, come back here.” 
You stopped. “How did you just call me?”
The guy straightened his back and laughed under his mask. “If you want to fuck me, at least try and seduce me first.” “Aren’t you already under my spell if you’re so eager to keep going on with this conversation?” you found yourself saying. He shrugged. “I’m just bored. And don’t you want to win that bet? I guess you’re actually shy and your friend was right.” You scoffed. “I’m not gullible. You won’t make me do things only because you told me that I can’t.” “You’re here doing a thing only because your friend told you that you can’t. How is that not being gullible?” “It’s not being gullible if I’m here with that as an excuse when in reality I want to fuck you on the backseat, Rabbit.” 
You couldn’t see his face but you knew he was smiling as he opened the car’s door and with a dramatic gesture he invited you in. 
You walked in front of him slowly, asking yourself what the fuck you were actually doing, and he was quick to follow you inside. 
It was dark and warm and you decided to lie to yourself that the trembling sigh that escaped your lips was because you’ve been feeling cold before and not because you felt the Rabbit’s hands on your waist. You let him pull you in his lap and his palms slowly brushed your goosebumpy thighs first, then your torso, hovering over your breasts before they could grab your mask and take it away. You were breathing through your mouth and you desperately needed to see his expression upon seeing your face. With trembling fingers, you pulled the little white rabbit down and his eyes made an appearance first forcing you to inhale sharply. Masks slipping on the side, you both took in the view of each other. He did not speak a word and you didn’t either. 
“Do-,” you started unsurely, “do we know each other? Have we met before?” 
He blinked at you and you could tell he was as confused as you were. “I don’t think so,” he whispered and you finally realized how close he was. 
Like a switch, when you moved he moved as well and you roughly hit your mouths together, his hands cupping your ass and your fingers curling in his hair. It was so fast and almost painful the way you embraced each other that you wondered just how horny some wine could make you become. He grunted as you suddenly bit his neck and just that sound made your blood boil. You knew how and where to touch him and when his fingers got underneath your dress it seemed like he knew your weak spots as well. You let go of his neck and grabbed his head as your nipples disappeared inside his mouth. His lips were cold just like his touch and it made you shiver.
_____
Doyoung noticed you the exact moment you walked onto the lawn. 
Your legs were bare and he wondered why Jaemin dragged him to such a weird party. 
“Just buy whatever,” the younger said behind a black ominous mask while examining himself in the mirror. 
Doyoung hummed pensively and grabbed the white Rabbit. 
“I wanted that one too but since I’m going to see the associate lady tonight again, I thought that something less stupid would be better,” commented Jaemin.  
“So you think this is stupid?” 
“It goes well with your vibe. Buy it,” he wiggled his eyebrows and for once Doyoung just sighed and shrugged. 
“Ah come on, why are you not in a good mood tonight? We’ll have free food and alcohol tonight then free food and wine tomorrow.” 
“I really don’t feel like coming. It makes no sense to throw a party before a party. I can’t believe you tricked me into coming to two parties.” 
It was Jaemin’s turn to shrug. “These people have been travelling through all of Europe and shit. It’s their version of an afterparty. Like a rave. But it’s before the actual party and it’s on grass, with masks on and at 5 pm. You have to come.” "So there's going to be classical music and tea?" 
The cashier ringed their items quickly and Jaemin took out his wallet to pay.   “Why do you even get invited to all of these events?” Doyoung went on and added a pack of mints too. Jaemin smirked. “She likes me a lot, huh? Can’t wait to taste that sweet juicy pussy.” The cashier cleared her throat and was quick to dismiss them with her rightfully dry “have a good day”. “I just think she’s trying to gather customers for her wine. Don’t get your hopes up.” “She’ll want to gift me her wine after I’ll make her boun-”
Doyoung was so ready to accept an evening of him wandering around a party full of strangers talking in god knows what languages while his friend got it wet that when you pressed yourself on his crotch, nibbling at his neck and exhaling so deeply, he felt lightheaded. 
You were with another guy and Doyoung watched you sit down on the cushions behind his group of friends. Your nude legs got even nuder as your white dress shifted up exposing your thighs. A sudden urge to spread them invaded his mind and he had to do something with his hands instead. 
“Hey, guy with the rabbit mask!” 
Doyoung turned his head around right in time to see you smack the dude on the face. 
“Did that guy just tell you that his friend wants to fuck you?” Jaemin inquired with a giggle. Doyoung wondered how Jaemin could hear something like that at such a distance. 
“I guess?” he agreed though. “And I want to fuck her too,” he heard himself add.  
Jaemin’s mask looked as shocked as his expression underneath it. 
“Why are you so bold all of a sudden? No, I mean, yes! Fuck her.” 
Doyoung shook his head to get rid of the imaginary fog. “I was joking. Why are you getting so worked up?” 
But when Jaemin finally disappeared suddenly, presumably to drink some wine with his lady, Doyoung could physically feel your eyes on his back as he walked down the hill towards the parking lot. 
Your steps were light and you’d stop when he’d stop, unsuccessfully hiding behind the tall bushes of roses. 
As he unlocked his car with a high toned beep, he leaned on the side of it and waited for you to approach him. A giggle left his chest when he saw you trying to find him in the middle of all of those cars. 
“I am here,” he announced and you jolted. 
Turning around you eyed him and stopped in place then took a timid step, then another until only a few separated you from him. 
“I’ll be honest with you. I’m here because of a bet.” 
You looked airy just like the moon on your mask and he thought you were adorable swinging your body weight from one foot to another like that. 
“Sorry, your mask is-,” adorable, “-ridiculous. What’s the bet about?” 
“My friend said that I wouldn’t be able to fuck you because I’m shy and I want to prove to him that I’m not.” 
You were so bold that Doyoung felt his air miss from his lungs. 
You slurred your words on purpose and he tried hard to pretend that he didn’t understand just to hear you say that you wanted him to fuck you again. 
“What?” he asked.
You sighed. “MyfriendsaidthatIw-” “Okay, okay,” he raised his palms, “hold up. Talk slowly? Your friend what?” “Myfriendsaid-” “Can you just talk slowly, please?” “Nevermind.” 
Fuck. 
“Mooney, come back here.” 
The air rustled with energy and he completely missed everything besides “I want to fuck you on the backseat” part and he had no idea how you got into the car and how he got you on his legs. 
But now there you were, soft in his arms. 
And when you took away your mask his head got drilled by a thousand questions. Your eyes, mirroring his expression as you slid his mask down, told him that you were thinking the same thing. Like two magnets you collided in a heated kiss and your scent was so familiar that Doyoung sighed when you let his lips go to breathe.
_____
Finally, finally, finally, your mind was chanting as the Rabbit moulded your body with his hands. 
Your mind became mush so quickly that it was honestly embarrassing when you realized that you were riding his hardened cock. His lips on your neck seemed amused and after a moment he took away his fingers from your body, leaning back and watching you from under heavy lids. 
You bit your lower lip and stopped with a certain difficulty, the burning sensation between your legs already boiling inside your veins. 
"Go on." 
His voice was sultry and raspy and your body reacted to it as if under a spell. 
Your fingers on his shoulders deepened their hold and you closed your eyes for a brief moment before opening them again. 
"Come on. Go on. Doesn't it feel good?" 
He cooed, dragging one single finger across your bust, between your breasts and down on your stomach. His eyes wouldn't let a single expression of yours escape them. 
"It would feel better if you fucked me."
The light in his irises twinkled. 
"But I like to see you like this," he said before leaning in and letting his breath caressing your ear. "Desperate." 
His voice was like a hiss and your skin shivered with goosebumps. You felt his open mouth on your nude shoulder, slowly going towards your clavicle and you extended your neck up to welcome him. 
"Go on," he ordered again and your hips snapped, rolling on him, feeling the way your panties got pulled up as he slid his hands under your dress and twirled the sides around his fingers. It was frustrating as intoxicating and soon enough the windows of his car became misty from your heavy breaths. 
"I hate this," you whined and he chuckled. "I can see that."
Almost completely lost in your foggy mind you jolted at a sudden snap and you stopped your motions just to see him slide your panties from between your legs and throw them to the front. 
With a single pull, he pushed your now raw pussy on his clothed cock while his hands spread your ass, guiding your movements. 
"Fuck," you gasped, feeling the rough material on your sensitive skin and it didn't take you a lot to go over the edge with fingers curled inside his hair and mouths open against each other. He drank your shaking moans, then without giving you a second to remember where you were, his arms wrapped your torso and pushed you under his weight. Your feet stopped on the window as you yelped and you desperately wanted to call his name when you felt his tongue lap at your wetness. His fingers were tightly wrapped around your thighs and when you moaned a few times in a row, your back arching and your body squirming in his hold, he palmed your stomach and pressed you down again.
_____
You looked like every sex dream Doyoung has ever had. 
Arms thrown around your head, chest rising and falling, your sweet whimpers and soft skin, it drove him crazy. Your thighs pressing on the side of his head felt like everything he has ever wanted but wasn’t aware of. 
Mine mine mine all mine. A weird possession sentiment swept him away and when he looked up at your fucked up expression he felt like shivering. With a plop he let your clit go and kept pumping his fingers inside of you, curling them right where you wanted him to, kissing your navel, licking your under breasts, sucking the skin in until it probably hurt, then sucking on your nipples, and finally on your lower lip. He wanted to see your face when you’d cum all over his fingers and when you gasped, wrapping his torso with your arms and trying to hide your face into the crook of his neck, he grabbed your chin and made you look at him. Your eyelids fluttered as he heard you swear multiple times and as he felt you clench so deliciously that he couldn’t wait to feel it around his aching cock instead. He wanted to rest a bit, maybe put his head on your soft chest and listen to your heartbeats but you were a stranger and you were hooking up in his car. So he sat on his knees between your legs instead, panting as if he were the one who just came, and he let his eyes trail on your naked body, licking his lower lip when he reached your wet core. He would have wanted to smear all of that on himself but he reached his jacket instead and took a condom out.  
“Why do boys always carry a condom with them? You never know when you’d end up fucking?” 
“Actually, when we carry a condom we never fuck and when we don’t have it we have the opportunity to fuck.” 
“Well, today you’re lucky,” you smirked and he loved the way you tried to hide away your embarrassment with banter. 
“Do you still want to do this?” he palmed your knee.
“Yes,” you nodded. “You didn’t cum.” 
“You don’t have to worry about that. Do you want it?” 
Doyoung wondered what kind of expression he had on to make you light up so much. 
You bit your lower lip and sat up suddenly, getting on your knees as well and turning around with a certain difficulty. 
“Yes,” you said again and bent over. 
Doyoung choked at the view and wondered what country he had saved in his previous life to deserve all of that.  
_____
You dreamt about opening a winery probably since you tasted wine for the first time. 
You loved it. 
Sour, sweet, bitter, flowery, fruity, still and frizzy, you loved it all. 
People thought you were crazy and no one supported you until you met your best friend in university. 
“Are you kidding? I’d love to open a winery with you.” 
The classroom was well lit and she looked like an angel against the sunny windows. 
You looked at her with wide eyes. “Really?” 
She hit your arm playfully. “Of course! I love wine and that sounds like a very cool idea.” 
“Look, I’m actually very serious about this so if you’re saying this just to-,”
She took your hands and looked into your eyes. “Me too. We’ll do it. I promise.” 
Now, years later you were looking around at the freshly painted venue and couldn’t believe your eyes. 
You did it. 
Tall ceilings and shelves full of your blood and sweat, you walked around slowly, one finger to gently tap on the various displayed bottles. 
“Hey, hey, no touching. We’ve cleaned them up and they have to shine.” 
Your friend appeared on your side and you smiled. Her dress was sleeveless and you made a face touching her arms. 
“Have you been working out girl? What are these?” 
She snapped her head down to look at herself. “I guess… uhm, it’s all of the exercises… uhm that I do.” 
You took her sudden panic for embarrassment and cackled. “With the party guy?”
“Who?” 
“Jaemin you said?” “Oh yeah! Yeah, we’re quite active, aha.” 
“Well, to get those arms you might have done a lot of hardcore BDSM.” You laughed but your friend looked rather mortified. 
“Aw, come on,” you gently elbowed her. “I also fucked the guy from yesterday,” you added to make her feel better. And she lit up so much at the news that she almost knocked over the bottles in front of you. 
“And you tell me now? How did it go?” “Well, I guess. I don’t really want to think about it though. I don’t think I’m into hookups.”
_____
Doyoung didn't like hookups but when he stepped inside the winery's main hall and saw your legs again and the way your ass was wrapped in that short dress he desperately wanted to bury his cock in it. 
"Not bad, huh?" Jaemin smiled at the waiter welcoming them with glasses of wine, before looking up at the nicely decorated venue. 
"Yeah, not bad at all," Doyoung murmured as you turned around and he considered fucking your breasts too. 
Then he cleared his throat as he took a glass of wine as well, feeling his neck warming up. He looked around as he sipped, suddenly conscious of people as if they could read his horny mind. At that moment, with his body acting up as if possessed, he wondered if the wine didn’t have some sort of aphrodisiac in it. 
“Do you also feel a little funny?” Doyoung placed down the wine and reached for his tie to loosen it up. 
Jaemin glanced over him and promptly looked down. “Uh-oh. Do we have an emergency?” he started to laugh and Doyoung closed his eyes briefly before opening them and turning around towards the buffet. 
“Heh, did that girl do something to you? You were so upset when she left without saying anything.” 
“It was just a hookup,” Doyoung murmured trying to understand what kind of food he was staring at. 
“An amazing hookup if you get like this upon seeing her.” 
“Not for her I guess.” 
“So you are upset. Cupid worked hard last night,” he elbowed his friend. 
“Give me a break. You’re also crushing on your lady.” 
“Also? Kim Doyoung, are you crushing on the winery girl?”
He shook his head quickly putting a pastry in his mouth to have an excuse to not speak. Jaemin lightly hit him and Doyoung hit him back like kids in third grade when suddenly the lights became dimmer and you spoke into a mic.
_____
“Hey, have you seen Jeno?” you asked your friend after finishing your introductory discourse and let people finally get wasted as they wanted to. “Who?” “Jeno? The guy I’m always hanging out with? He should have been here by now but I don’t see him anywhere.” 
Your friend made a perplexed face and you sighed. “You’re right. You’ve never met him before. You’re both my best friends so I always forget that you’ve never seen each other.” 
“Well, I kinda know how he looks like, so if I see him then-,”
"So you stole my money,” a sudden voice at your back interrupted you and you turned around to lock eyes with none other than the Rabbit. 
He was so good looking that you felt the urge to kiss him, yet his mocking face made you so irrationally mad that you felt like slapping him too. 
You put your hands on your hips and raised your chin. "Proof?"
You were still panting last evening trying hard to stop shaking from your third orgasm in a row. The Rabbit did a lot of things to you and you wondered why you didn’t hook up with strangers more often if that was the outcome. His wallet was on the seat in front of you and for a split second, you smiled wondering if he carried a family photo in it. His back looked very broad as he stood outside the car and presumably tried to make himself pee with a half-hard penis but probably failing. A sudden voice startled you and Doyoung replied to it. You quickly pulled down your dress and eyed the ripped panties on the steering wheel. Shit. You tried to grab them but the dude talking to Doyoung took a few steps closer so you retreated. "Fucked her good just like you planned?" Your face scrunched in a pout and you suddenly found yourself very upset. Doyoung didn't reply anything but you weren't sure that he didn't make a face. It was a good night. You had fun and a good-looking dude made you cum. You fucked him good just like you planned too. Then why did you feel a little used? Maybe you weren’t acquainted with the hookup culture, or maybe deep down you hoped that the sudden attraction you felt for the Rabbit was magical, but suddenly you felt very weird and a wave of disgust invaded you. 
He was definitely not your soulmate and you should just get out of there. 
You opened the door slowly on your side, quietly looking over your shoulder to make sure that they wouldn’t hear you. Feet on the ground you eyed the wallet again and you opened it. Not to check his family photo as you previously wanted to, but to get all of his cash. You swallowed a chuckle and ran away up the hill back to the restaurant’s garden.
He scoffed. "You’re a terrible thief. I make you cum and you steal from me?" 
"You look like a rich guy. You deserved it. Also, you ripped my panties."
"And you liked it."
You clenched your jaw. "It wasn't even good sex."
His jaw's muscles flinched too. "You probably couldn't walk properly."
"Yeah, because of the cramped car not because of your cock." 
"I think you have a loss of memory all of a sudden. Do I have to remind you how my cock feels like?" 
"Sure. Then I will be able to say to your face that it doesn’t feel good.”
_____
"Fuck, it feels so fucking good."
Dragging you by the wrist, Doyoung shoved you in the first room he found and pressed you against the cold wall. 
"I can't believe I'm about to have sex in the rosés showroom," you spoke with a breathy voice and when Doyoung pressed his open lips on yours you realized that you didn’t even know his name. 
One thing is hooking up with a dude in his car while drunk, another thing is choosing to fuck him consciously on the opening of your new business and completely sober. 
Although, when he started to kiss your jaw and neck, his tongue slowly creeping out and tickling your nerves, your mind felt so hazy that you wondered if you somehow had something to drink already and couldn’t remember. 
Didn’t you hate the guy just a few moments ago?
“Do you really have to wear these dresses and drive me insane?” he whispered on your lips as his hands pulled up the dress in question. 
You wanted to reply with something smartass but honestly, you chose that dress with him in mind. 
Somehow, while browsing your closet for the big day, your mind could not stop thinking about the Rabbit boy. Your mixed feelings towards him confused you and you'd go on weird tangents of complete hatred and high adoration thinking about his face between your legs. 
Certain that he’d come to the opening too, you carefully wore each piece of clothing you had, looking at yourself in the mirror and imagining he was the one looking at you through your eyes. Would he like the split on your thigh? Or would he like the way the dress accentuated your breasts more? Without realizing your hands were on your bust going up slowly, gently kneading your soft skin, cupping your boobs and flicking your nipples. Then one moved on your stomach, then on your thigh and just like that you started to moan. 
And you were moaning at that moment too as the Rabbit lightly caressed your clit with the tip of his cock. You pushed your hips towards him to get more and he pushed you back into the wall, one hand reaching for your mouth and slipping the thumb on your tongue. You twirled it around his digit and sucked, lightly choking when he reached farther and choking again when you finally felt his cock fill you up too. 
“You have to be quiet, Y/N.” 
Your name on his lips made you tremble. 
He probably heard it during the welcoming discourse or read it on the pamphlets and the fact that he knew it and you didn’t know his one, made you feel vulnerable in a pleasant way. 
Or maybe it was the way his hand gripped the softness of your thigh, keeping it up on his hip, or maybe his own hips pushing inside of you that made you feel like turning into mush. 
“Will you be quiet for me or am I fucking you too good?” he took away his finger and you gasped for air, your whines getting louder. 
“As I thought,” he mocked you. “It wasn’t even good sex, she said.” 
You bit your lower lip and hid your face into the crook of his neck but he pulled you away, cupping your cheek. “You have to look at me. I want to see this pretty face when you cum.”
Your eyes fluttered as his cock basically decided to rearrange your guts and you dug your fingers into his shoulders with a teeth-gritted moan. 
“Are you close, baby?” You nodded breathlessly, the sudden pet-name just making it impossible for you to not beg to make you cum.
“You want me to make you cum?” 
You nodded again. “Gonna cum- so hard-,” 
The Rabbit thrust a few times more into you and suddenly pulled out. 
You gasped as if mortally offended but unable to move a muscle. 
"I don't think so."
His smirk made you swallow your own spit and he held your waist when he took a step back after letting your leg down. 
“Hey! Come on!” 
Dragging you away just like before he made you walk towards the party hall. His iron grip made it impossible for you to just go away and finish yourself and honestly, it would have been quite pathetic. 
You moved as if drunk, fingers visibly shaking and mind clouded in the middle of the crowd.
"Fuck, I'll make you pay for this." 
He smiled at you and intertwined his fingers with yours before lifting both of your hands and placing a kiss on your knuckles. 
"Yes darling, I've already paid last time," he replied as a few curious people looked your way and saw just a random couple chatting peacefully. 
You took a deep breath and tried to smile unbothered, imitating Doyoung's relaxed expression. 
"It was just a joke. Do you want those couple of bucks back?” 
He tilted his head to the side. “No. Let’s say I had paid you for your services.” 
You disregarded him and opened your clutch, retrieving a few dollars. With a quick hand, you shoved them halfway inside Doyoung's pants making sure others didn't stare. 
"Thank you for today’s fuck too then, slut."
_____
To say that it was easy for Doyoung to stop feeling you around his cock and pretend he wasn’t about to lose his mind when he couldn’t cum either, would be the biggest lie of the universe. But your frustrated expression, trembling limbs and glossy eyes made it all worth it. 
“Where have you been?” 
Jaemin handed him a glass of white wine and Doyoung took it absentmindedly. When he brought it to his mouth and had a sip he almost spit it back inside.
“What the fuck is this?” 
Jaemin chuckled. “The winery’s speciality.” 
“This is disgusting.” 
“I had a whole bottle of that yesterday so now I’m used to it.” 
“Why is it so sour?” 
Jaemin hit his shoulder lightly to bring his attention to something and when Doyoung raised his gaze he saw your furious aura staring at them from a few steps away. 
“Maybe the lady behind the recipe is sour as well,” he joked. “I lied when I asked you where you’ve been. Saw you together just now. Did you not fuck her good enough?” 
Doyoung smiled and took another sip of the wine, barely being able to not make a face for a second time. “I fucked her so good that now she’s mad.” 
“From her expression, she doesn’t look very pleased with the experience. And in fact,” Jaemin added quickly, grabbing Doyoung’s arm since he got distracted by the red wine, “she’s probably seeking a better one.” 
You were chuckling at some dude’s pick-up line and accepted to disappear with him out of Doyoung’s sight. 
The sweet dessert wine he tasted felt as sour as the first one.
_____
“Is the person I’m thinking about my soulmate?” “You already know the answer to that.” 
You bit your lower lip unsure. 
“What do you want me to say?” the lady smiled. “Yes or no.” “Why don’t you have faith?” 
You leaned back in your chair and let your gaze fall on the decorations on the tarot reader’s desk. The little obsidian stones reminded you of the dude’s eyes and it made you irrationally angry. 
You wanted to make him jealous. 
You wanted him to come up to you and grab your hand or something and make the boring-ass guy that approached you to leave. 
But he didn’t. 
If he really were your soulmate, wouldn’t you both feel it? Were you just going crazy? Were you lonely enough that you weighed your every desire on him?
“I saw him just twice and I don’t even know his name,” you sighed, talking almost to yourself. 
You probably unconsciously pouted because the Lady smiled kindly at you. She was no therapist but she gladly accepted to talk to you again after your first encounter. 
“Does he match the description the cards gave you?” 
“Well, he does have a very big cock, yeah,” you started. “Uhm, yes, it was that type of meeting,” you explained quickly before she could judge but the woman didn’t look unfazed. In fact, she was quite pleased to hear that. 
“You think that meeting your soulmate is just seeing them and everything falls into place. But it’s harder than that. You still have to want it and you still have to work for the union. So many people missed the opportunity to get with their soulmate because they didn’t work hard enough.” 
“Well, shouldn’t this be meant to be or something? Even if I make mistakes?” 
The Lady tilted the head to the side and for a split second you felt as if talking to a lost best friend. “We have a lot of choice in life. Everything is out there ready for you and you will get help but only if you have faith it will happen.”
_____
“You again?” he asked, fakely annoyed. 
You’ve always brushed off your mom’s words. 
“At least take your sweatpants out of your knee-high socks.” “It’s just the convenience store at the corner, mom. It’s not like I will meet my soulmate tonight at 10 pm.” 
But you actually met him and it was terrible. 
The packs of instant ramen in your hands trembled a little as the Rabbit dude passed one hand through his hair waiting for a normal human reaction from you.  
“What are you doing here?” 
“Buying groceries for dinner,” he explained then eyed your snacks. “You too, I see.” 
You tried to not let his subtle mockery get to you. “Yeah but why in this store in particular?” 
“You’re wondering if this is fate?” he giggled. 
But actually, Doyoung was the first to wonder if it was fate. 
He has never really thought of the Lady’s words in detail, nor he believed in any of it, but when he first saw you descending the hill with your moon costume as if you were the actual moon, his mind independently carved the thought of how nice it would be for you to be his soulmate.  
“I live in this neighbourhood and I assume you do too since you’re dressed like this,” he let his eyes fall and he looked at your stained pyjama pants. 
A wave of heat passed through your whole body and for the first time, it wasn’t pleasure. 
Your real soulmate would have never said that. 
Embarrassed, you cleared your throat. 
“Well, see you around then.” Turning on your heels, you didn’t wait for him to greet you back. 
“Did that guy make you cum?” 
You stopped so suddenly that the first two packs of ramen fell to your feet. You grunted and tried to bend but it was impossible to grab them without making the others fall too. With the corner of your eye, you saw the rabbit boy’s hands retrieving your stuff and when he got up again you felt his skin on the back of your hands as he pulled the remaining packs from you and let them fall in his cart. “Thank you.” 
“Answer my question.” 
You gulped but put on a brave face. 
“This is not a conversation to have in the condiments aisle.” “Then come to my apartment.” 
The intensity in his voice made your heart beat faster and then you blinked at his back as he turned around the cart and made his way towards the register. 
“Wait, my ramen!” 
He didn’t acknowledge you and greeted the cashier good evening. You awkwardly stood beside him as they beeped all of his fancy groceries. 
“Uhm-,” you extended your hands to get your ramen but they beeped that too without batting an eye and the rabbit bagged everything in a few seconds. 
“I- I could have- why-?” you followed him. “Now I have to pay you back.” “You gave me enough money last time.” 
You crossed your arms on your chest as Doyoung placed the bags inside his car's trunk.
“That was for-,” you started but stopped realizing that you were about to talk about sex on a busy street in front of your corner grocery store. 
He smiled. “Yeah?” 
“Give me my ramen now.” 
“Get inside,” he indicated with his head and without missing a beat he got behind the wheel. 
“Why do you even drive if you live in the neighbourhood?” You entered and sighed, trying to put on the seat belt. “The groceries are heavy.” “Do you even lift?” “I love lifting women but not groceries.” “You lift other women and I can’t get a guy to make me cum without you asking me questions about it?” 
Doyoung looked at you with a little smile as you stopped at the red sign. “Does the thought of me with other women make you upset or am I imagining things?” “Does the thought of guys making me cum make you upset?” you retorted. “Yes.” 
You choked on air and the movement of the car starting again made your body press back on the seat. You didn’t expect that. 
“Then why did you make me leave with him?” 
Your voice got tiny and you hoped he didn’t actually hear you because at the same moment you realized that it was a little embarrassing. But his sudden glance told you that he did. His gaze returned towards the street and his adam apple travelling up and down his throat told you that he didn’t know what to say. 
“Why did you leave with him?” he eventually asked. 
It was your turn to not speak. 
Not in a million years you’d admit to a stranger you wanted to make him jealous. A stranger that put his dick in you twice, but a stranger nevertheless. 
“We just talked a bit. I was bored.” “So I guess he didn’t make you cum.” “I don’t do hookups,” you said before realizing what you’ve just said. “I mean-,” you looked at him and he blinked back. Fuck. You told the hookups guy that you didn’t do hookups. 
“I mean, without being attracted to the person a lot. And that dude was not attractive,” you tried to explain fighting the urge to hide your face away. 
“Thank you. I’m also crazily attracted to you.” 
The car’s air became a little heavier and you thought that if you touched it with a single finger it would buzz as if made of electricity. 
The walk to the apartment complex was almost urgent. His hands didn't leave your body once when you reached the elevator as if he suddenly forgot what personal space was and when you got to his door he firstly slammed you against it, hands quick to get under your shirt. 
"Hey," you eyed the elevator's lights behind his back as he started to kiss your neck. "Someone's coming." "Let them come." The skin he sucked in made your eyes flutter and you whined feeling his fingers so close to where you needed them but so far away. "No, seriously. I think they're going to stop here." Doyoung hummed unbothered but you felt his hand press the code behind your back. Right when the elevator doors opened and you made eye contact with a cute little old lady, the door behind you opened too and you yelped falling backwards. Doyoung was quicker though and he held your waist, pulling you back into the kiss and closing the door with his heel. 
Shoes off and no time wasted, you were suddenly bent over some sort of furniture and your pants got pulled down. 
A single silent gasp left your mouth when you felt Doyoung's lips on the back of your thighs and when his fingertips grated at your sides pulling your panties down to your knees you started to pant. His hot breath tickled your pussy and you shifted in his hold. Doyoung's hands grabbed your ass to keep you in place and slapped one of your cheeks when he licked up a stripe between them. 
You whined once and put your head down and closed your eyes, fingers mindlessly grabbing whatever Doyoung kept on the cabinet. When he pushed his fingers inside, your back arched and his cologne fell to the side with the cap open. The sudden scent of it made you even wetter and Doyoung hummed appreciatively with his mouth full. 
"It feels so good," you whined again, imperceptibly grinding on him, brain not understanding when you got so horny all of a sudden. 
"Please please please make me cum this time," you begged, looking behind you and seeing his hands spreading you all out for him before his fingers could find spots inside of you that you weren't aware of having. 
"I kinda wish you'd beg some more," you heard the note of amusement in his voice.
His hands didn't stop though and before you could form any words your whole body contracted and lifted itself on the tiptoes, knees buckling and head light. Doyoung's airy breath met your spine and he held you in his arms to prevent you from slipping on the ground, kissing your back up slowly until meeting the shoulders. 
"Good girl," he brushed your ear with his lips and you remained with your eyes closed, breathing heavily and when he made you turn around, you felt your body weak as if it was made of jello. He pulled you towards himself and you heard his chuckle buzz inside of his chest. In a second he threw you on his shoulder and you let out a little cry, your limbs dangling around him. 
"I didn't know you were this strong."
He walked a few steps and turned left inside a dark corridor. You tried to look around but you barely noticed anything before he gently placed you down to sit on the bed. 
"You don't know a lot of things about me."
When you raised your head to meet his face you smiled tiredly. 
"I don't even know your name."
He tilted his head to the side amused. "Doyoung."
"Doyoung," you repeated, feeling the sounds on your tongue. 
It felt very right. 
Then his eyes fell on your naked legs and you sucked the air in, suddenly rolling in his bed, one piece of blanket to cover you up. 
Doyoung, still standing by the bed, put his hands on the hips and furrowed his eyebrows.
"I'm here with my pussy all out. That's so embarrassing,” you explained. 
"Yeah. I've just seen it up close just one minute ago." 
"I'm having post nut clarity," you added, voice muffled and only the top of your head poking out the impromptu burrito. 
"Well, I'm not having any post nut clarity since I didn't nut, so to me, it's not embarrassing."
"Oh my God you're right!" you eyed his crotch and sat up. 
"It's alright. I didn’t plan to do anything else anyway. Just wanted to cook you dinner actually since I’ve already eaten," he sat near you chuckling and took off his shoes. "My mom would hit me in the head if she knew I walked up to the bedroom with these-," but then he gasped softly as you placed a kiss to his nape. Your arms wrapped his torso in a back hug just as your legs did with his waist, draping them in his thighs. His hands automatically started to palm your knees as you made your way towards the base of his neck. 
“I don’t have any condoms,” he whispered as to stop you. 
Your fingers found the hem of his shirt very quickly and you lifted it, loving the way it ruffled his hair after you threw it somewhere on the floor. Having his bare back in front of you made you lose track for a moment and when you touched his chest you realized it was the first time that you actually saw him naked. 
“We don’t need them for what I want to do to you,” you murmured. 
He breathed in shakily. “Well, we’re responsible adults so you have to know that I also don’t do hookups so I’m completely clean but if you don’t want to--ah shit-,” he almost whined when you let your hand down his abs to palm his crotch slowly. 
He turned so cute all of sudden that your tummy did backflips as you kissed his jawline. 
“Are you saying that you want to fuck me raw?” you whispered amused. 
His cock twitched under his pants and he bit his lower lip.
“Does the thought turn you on, Doyoung? Feeling me around you, soft and wet until you can’t take it anymore? Huh?” You cooed, pouting your lips as you pronounced his name, savouring it on your tongue. 
His breathing increased and you wondered how he still kept it all together. 
“Cumming inside of me? Having your warm cum spill out-,”
He turned around suddenly and you let him push you down on the bed but only for a moment. The kisses you started to litter on his neck made his hold weaker and he threw his head into the pillow as you got on top of him. You kissed his chest slowly, then went down until you could finally pass your tongue on that single vein under his navel’s skin. 
"I'm so on edge that I might cum only with a single touch," he breathed out and you smiled on his stomach at his honest side, whining a little when he slid his fingers into your hair as if to urge you to go on quicker. 
"You should have told me," you sat on his thighs and slowly fumbled with his belt. 
He bit his lower lip and watched the little show you put on for him.  
"Well, now you know and you still want to torture me like this."
You lifted one corner of your mouth as you finally unbuttoned his pants. 
"I think you deserve it, don't you think?" 
He shook his head. "Not one bit. I've been good to you."
"Oh really? Then why don't you show me again what a good boy you can be and beg me to finally touch you?" 
"You really think you can use my ways with me?" 
You opened your mouth to reply but every word died in your throat as he reached down and pulled out his cock, pumping it up himself, a single shaking sigh of relief coming out of his mouth. "Shit-," he closed his eyes and pushed his head back, exposing his neck as his adam apple went up and down. You couldn't take your eyes off him and the sounds he started to make hit you right between the legs. His tip poked out of his fist as he fucked himself and for the first time in your life you were dying to suck a cock. 
"Doyoung-," you breathed out but his hisses made you gulp, feeling your mouth dry at the sudden spurts of cum on his lower stomach. 
"Shit," his chest rose and fell heavily and his eyes looked black underneath his heavy lids. Without being able to take it anymore you bent down and licked his tip sending shots of electricity through all of his body. 
"Ah- Y/N-," 
You sucked his cock clean and, letting it out with a lewd pop, you smirked.  
"Now you're going to take it."
And he took it well, cupping your head as it bobbed up and down, not without the most sinful sounds you've ever heard a man emit. As he placed his other hand on your cheek, you slid your own fingers down your stomach and reached your aching clit.
"Ride me?" he caressed your face with his thumbs and you looked up, basking in his fucked up expression. 
With a wet sound, you let his cock out, licking his tip once to break the string of saliva attached to it and moved upwards on his body. 
His hands were quick to grab your sides and when you started to grind on him he inhaled shakily, eyes piercing the way his shaft slid through your lips. Then he grabbed your shirt and roughly pulled it up, making you discard it in a second. 
One hand to guide your ass and one hand to grope at your breasts and you were almost cumming again. And when he reached behind you and you felt his cock poke at your entrance you lost strength in your arms and leaned down on his chest, your breasts squeezed and your skin rubbing on each other when he started to thrust into you. 
His hips' movements were deep and sharp and when you raised your bust enough for your nipples to rub on his chest he squeezed your ass and spanked it once making you moan loudly and fall back on him. So near to your orgasm, you dug your fingers into his arms not worrying about the little marks your nails left on his skin. 
And then he stopped with a grunt. 
You whined and opened your eyes to see him smirk.
"Fuck you, not again," you whispered breathlessly. "Yeah, fuck me."
And you bit your lower lip, lifting yourself up by putting your palms on his chest and started to bounce on his cock. Doyoung started to breathe with his mouth and he let his hands rest on his sides enjoying the way you were so desperately trying to chase your high. 
Your thighs were burning and your mind was clouded but you didn't stop and when you started to call his name, Doyoung finally grabbed your waist again, taking the lead and finally sending you over the edge. 
You finally cried out and pushed your face into the crook of his neck biting down on his skin as he kept going, not giving you a moment to breathe. 
And when you heard him choke against your ear too, a string of profanities lingering in his lips you felt his hot cum fill you up, but getting slowly fucked back in with his last thrusts. 
You remained like that both breathless for some time, his hands gently cupping your face to look at you. His eyebrows furrowed and he quickly dried your wet eyes. 
"Are you okay? Was that too much?" 
The concern in his voice made your heart swell and you shook your head. 
"I'm feeling very good," you smiled and his expression relaxed a bit. 
As he pulled out you felt his semen slide on your thigh and pool where your stomaches we're meeting. 
“Are you sure?” 
“Yes, Doyoung. I was just getting frustrated as always when I’m around you.” 
His hands went up and down your back as if soothing your skin. “I love how my name sounds on your lips. It feels like I’ve somehow waited my whole life to hear it.” 
You blinked a few times, the sudden sweet words so weird in his mouth that you raised your head to look at him. 
He looked back as shocked as you. 
"Wow, I feel so sticky," he changed the subject as you opened your lips to talk. You eyed the little buds of sweat on his forehead and imagined you looked as spent as him. 
"Are you also having post nut clarity?" "Yes. Everything is clear." "What's clear?" "This was one of the best nuts of my life and I want to do it again."
_____
Unable to stand on your own legs without shaking you remained sprawled on Doyoung's bed for a while, eyes heavy with sleep. 
"The groceries are still in the car," he said while zipping his pants. 
He offered to take a shower together but your growling tummy interrupted him so now you were alone in the bathtub, lazily lathering up your skin and waiting for him to come back from the parking lot. 
Relaxed from the good fuck and the hot water, you looked around curious, checking out his toiletries as if they could tell you more about this mysterious Doyoung guy. 
Perhaps it was too soon but as you collected the soapy water to blow on it you felt like falling in love a little. 
A little smile crept on your lips when you heard the entrance door open and close with a thud and you looked in the mirror to check on yourself before Doyoung could barge in. As if he didn't fuck you while you were looking crazy just moments before that. 
"That was very quick-," you started but squealed and put your hands on your chest as a man entered the bathroom not looking like your Doyoung at all. 
"Oh my God!" the guy jumped back a little before starting to laugh. 
"Who are you?" 
"You scared the shit out of me. Why are you here in the dim light?" the young man kept going without answering. 
You blinked at him. "It's relaxing."
"I'm Jaemin. Doyoung's flatmate," he finally explained and you wondered why he looked at you as if knowing you. "And you must be the winery girl."
You tilted your head to the side. "Winery girl? Do you know me?" 
"I kinda go out with your friend? The other winery girl?" 
You widened your eyes. "You're the BDSM guy?" 
For the first time since he entered the bathroom, Jaemin looked flustered. 
"Exactly what did she tell you about us?" he scratched the back of his head. 
You giggled. "My friend has been very happy lately. I know enough to make sure you're treating her well."
Jaemin's eyes lit up and you thought he was so cute to have a crush on your friend. Your mind suddenly thought of Doyoung and wondered if he might have a crush on you too. 
"Think of the devil," you murmured as Doyoung appeared behind Jaemin with the groceries bags. 
"You were thinking of me?" he smiled then suddenly realized the whole situation. "Why the hell are you looking at my naked girl?" he tried to tackle the other. Jaemin chuckled and took a few steps back in the corridor. 
"Had no idea she was here, I swear!"
_____
My girl. 
You were sitting timidly at the dinner table, wearing Doyoung's clothes and looking at Jaemin's back as he prepared the food. The water running in the bathroom and Doyoung's faint singing voice made you chuckle. 
He said, my girl. 
You put your hands to your cheeks. 
"You really like him."
You jolted and raised your head to see Jaemin comforting eyes. 
Batting your lashes you wondered what kind of expression you had on and with a little note of panic, you wondered if it was that easy for Doyoung to see it too. 
"This is a secret between us," Jaemin started lowering his voice, "but I think he likes you too. You really look like his soulmate now that I think about it."
You were about to melt but his last words made you snap out of the dream. 
"His soulmate?" you questioned, suddenly very interested. 
Jaemin shook his head as if to not give him any importance but upon seeing your curious eyes he placed the lid on the pot and sat down in front of you. 
"So it was new years," he started and you gulped. He then stopped to giggle, remembering the scene as if it played in front of himself. "We were drunk as fuck. We went to like three different parties and I was wasted. I don't know if you're familiar with the place but there's a tarot reader downtown. We were bored so we decided to go there."
Your head felt suddenly very light. "And what happened?" you asked with a faint voice. 
"Oh, we made a fool out of ourselves for sure, but the woman was nice and did a reading for Doyoung. I don't remember much but I kinda remember the physical descriptions. And you scarily look like that a lot." 
You swallowed again and you felt your mouth dry. 
"And does Doyoung remember?" 
"Remember what?" 
You gasped when Doyoung appeared on your side, a towel around his neck as he used one end to dry the back of his head. 
"I was telling Y/N about the soulmate thing, you know? When the lady told you that they'd be coming around summer?" 
Doyoung's pupils trembled a little but then he turned around and headed towards the fridge. 
"Ah yeah. I don't believe any of that though," he said and poured himself a glass of water. 
You looked at his profile as he drank and then noticed Jaemin's pitiful expression. 
"I got a reading on new year's too in the exact same place," you confessed and the silence afterwards felt heavy. 
"And your soulmate was someone that looks like me?" Doyoung joked and Jaemin giggled awkwardly. 
Your heart stung very painfully but you let out a dry chuckle too. 
“I don’t believe in it either. But it was very fun,” you lied. 
“I should have done a reading too,” Jaemin commented. 
"I'm starving," Doyoung lifted the lid and his friend got closer to stir again. 
Their voices talking about ingredients felt muffled as you tried hard to swallow your stupid tears.
_____
You had no idea why you believed the soulmates story. 
Maybe you were lonely or just plain bored but the idea of having a designated person you could be with during your lifetime felt very comforting. Especially since the Lady told you to have faith. 
Doyoung seemed to fit every category and you were so insanely attracted to him that it did not make sense for him to not be your soulmate. But do soulmates appear then disappear from your life, leaving behind nothing besides your memories of them?
Maybe you should have given him your number after you left his apartment that night, but reflecting about it with a cold mind, you did well to not seek him out given his reaction to the whole soulmates discourse. 
He was definitely not your soulmate. It shouldn’t have been this hard. 
Looking at your desk you sighed at the amount of work you had to do for the day and you imagined Doyoung walking through your door just like soulmates in movies would do. Then you shook your head trying to get those intrusive thoughts out of your head. 
Enough. 
But it was so difficult, especially as your eyes kept falling on his cologne, partially hidden behind your pens. 
You grabbed it suddenly intending to throw it out. 
"Oh sorry, I made this fall," you eyed the bottle of perfume on the cabinet by the entrance as you put on your shoes. With quick hands you grabbed it but before placing the cap on, you brought it to your face and smelled it again. "It's very nice." Doyoung, seeing you out, was leaning on the wall. "Do you like it?" You nodded. "You can keep it." You hesitated, wondering if he was joking or not. "Think of me," his eyebrows wiggled amused and if you wouldn't have been so exhausted you would have begged him to take you against the same cabinet again. 
Now, eyes closed, you were thinking of him indeed as you smelled that cologne, a shy hand slowly creeping up your thigh. 
No. You weren't about to masturbate at work but the temptation was so big that you jolted as if awoken from a dream when your phone rang. 
You breathed in and out as if to calm down and picked it up. 
"Y/N speaking."
"Hi, soulmate."
His voice made you physically shiver and your heart started to beat so fast inside your ears that you were afraid Doyoung could hear it too. 
"How did you get my number?" 
"I don't have your number. This is the winery's one and I googled it."
You bit your lower lip feeling stupid. 
"Yeah, yeah, you're right. Sorry, I'm a little tired."
"Have you been working a lot lately?" 
"Yes," you replied and it was true, but it wasn't work that clouded and exhausted your mind. 
"You need a pause then. Do you want me to help you relax?" 
His low and amused tone made your legs shift and you changed their position. 
"What do you have in mind?" 
"Are you alone?" 
"Yes," you almost whispered. 
"Then close your eyes for me."
You did timidly and the increase of your breath probably was a confirmation for him that you listened because he went on soon after. 
"Now touch your neck slowly with your fingertips. Go down to your clavicle then gently cup your breasts."
"This is making me shiver," you breathed out. 
"Good. I bet you're wearing a thin bralette and your perked nipples are poking through."
You sighed as you touched them and smiled at Doyoung's correct intuition.  
"Yes," you replied. 
"Can you play with them as I would if I were there?" 
You whined and bit your lower lip trying to resist the urge. 
"Doyoung-," this is a little inappropriate and honestly, kinda rude of you, especially since you went mia suddenly and now you want to pick up from where you left, you intended to say but didn’t manage to. 
"Do it," he commanded and your hand flew to your breasts and started to play with your nipples as if it didn't belong to you anymore. 
"Good girl. Does it feel good?" 
"Yes," you whispered. 
"Speak up love."
"I can't be loud."
"Oh really? Then, now slip one hand under your panties and rub your clit. I bet you're soaking wet and let's see if you'll be able to not be loud." 
His voice sounded like a hypnotic melody and you didn't even question it when you found yourself with the fingers gently pressing on your clit in little circles. Your breath got quicker and heavier, the grip on the phone was even stronger. 
"Doyoung-," 
"Yes, babe? Does it feel good?" he cooed. 
"It feels so fucking good-," 
"Can you slip a finger in for me too, love?" 
You nodded even if he couldn't see you and you did as he wished, the stretch so unsatisfying in comparison to Doyoung's girth to make you whine frustrated. 
"I- I wished you fucked me instead-," 
"Okay then," he replied calmly and for a split second, you wondered if the whole phone sex thing was not something you weren’t good at to make him reply so dryly when the door to your office opened and Doyoung took his tongue out at you. 
His sudden presence made you so flustered that you promptly pulled your fingers away as if he caught you doing it instead of being the one ordering you around. 
"What are you doing here?" you put your phone down with a shaking hand. 
He walked lazily towards your desk and put a paper bag on it. "Brought you your clothes."
You looked at them. "How did you get in? My secretary-," 
"Told him I was your boyfriend."
You felt the air stop inside your lungs at his words but you couldn't do much as Doyoung suddenly bent down with hands on the desk and took your still wet fingers into his mouth. 
You gasped softly as he sucked on them slowly, letting his tongue collect every single drop of your wetness, his deep eyes flickering with amusement at your visible lust. 
And you were so horny that you didn't even question it when he grabbed your wrists and made you stand. You took a step towards him but he pulled you by the waist and turned you around, pushing you towards the desk with his hips and pressing himself into your ass until you were bent over. 
"You look amazing like this, just like a little slut waiting for my cock, ain't I right?"  
You gasped for air as he pressed one palm on your spine and the other slowly raised your skirt. 
"You keep dressing like this at work. No wonder your secretary was so upset to hear that I was your boyfriend. Do you want us to put on a little show for him? So he knows his place." 
His fingers drawing lines up and down your clothed pussy prevented you from forming any words and when you felt your panties slip to the side and heard Doyoung's zip you inhaled aching to feel him inside. 
But he didn't touch you where you wanted him to. 
"Answer me," he slapped your ass and you curved your neck up with a hiss. 
"If you finally fuck me good enough perhaps I'll be loud enough for him to hear me."
Another slap. 
"Are you being a brat now? Should I not make you cum just like-," 
"Nonononono please please no please--" the string of begging erupted out of you way too easily and it was interrupted by Doyoung's dry laugh and hard cock finally slipping inside. 
You exhaled deeply and he grunted, bottoming out until you felt his hip bones on your ass. 
He remained still then he snapped. 
"Fuck fuck Doyoung--ah!" you cried out. 
"Louder."
Your voice would have increased in volume without him ordering that but it certainly added to the whole desk creaking and skin slapping symphony. 
One of his hands was palming your ass while the other pulled you towards him by the waist, but then he changed his mind and grabbed your arms by the elbows, pulling your torso up and making you curve your spine. 
You cried out his name again and stared at his reflection in the window in front of you. Eyebrows furrowed and a couple of strands of his hair fallen from the styled fringe made his gaze even deeper when you locked eyes. 
Then he smiled wickedly and a shiver shook your body knowing that nothing good will come out of that. And soon enough he let go of your arms and held your bust instead while the other wrapped your throat. You gasped for air and he attached his teeth to your shoulder sucking deeply and slowly, so different to the pace of his quick hips. 
Your desk phone rang and Doyoung held you harder as an indication to not even think about it. Not that you even cared about besides the way his cock was stretching you all out. 
The string of your choked moans just increased their tempo until you shuddered in his arms with a cry, so hard and so suddenly that his hips stopped and he let go of your throat in a second, holding your body and breathing deeply with you until you didn't whine anymore. 
A kiss on the cheek then on the neck and you turned your head around, searching for his lips. 
Your phone rang again and he smiled. 
"Answer."
"But you're still-," 
He grabbed the phone, placing it to your ear and you had nothing else to do than breathe heavily and greet with a shaking and hoarse voice. 
You understood the first three words of the person talking on the other side before Doyoung pushed you on the desk again and started to thrust into you, this time seeking his own high. 
You gritted your teeth and rotated your torso to be able to place your palm on his stomach and push your nail into his shirt. 
The look in your eyes just made him even more amused. 
“Yes, yes, no, could you please repeat that?” 
And even if the voice on the other line kindly repeated itself, your eyes rolled inside of your head and your body moved back and forth on the desk making you not understand a single thing. 
It was so highly unprofessional and inappropriate that it made your blood boil with pleasure. You hung up, making a mental note to call back and use the ‘line went dead’ excuse. 
Doyoung didn’t like that independence a single bit and he made sure to show you as you suddenly found yourself standing, no cock to stretch you out anymore and his hands on your waist turning your around. 
“On your knees.” 
You slipped down in front of him with hands on his stomach then you let them fall on his soft suit pants. 
The veins on his hand were popping when he grabbed his cock and lightly hit your lips with its tip. You let out your tongue and let it bounce on it, leaning in to be able to catch in between your lips. 
Doyoung tutted and took half a step back making your suck on air. 
“When and how I say so,” he murmured and got closer again. 
His other hand grabbed your head and kept you in place, fully controlling the way he pushed his shaft between your lips, slowly smearing his precum on them. 
“I really want to let my cum slide down your throat right now.” 
You opened your mouth eagerly and he smiled wickedly. 
It reached the back of your throat in one go and you gagged, pressing your nails into his thighs. Heavy on your tongue, you couldn’t move so it was Doyoung to slowly thrust his hips, increasing his movements until you started to drool. 
“Fuck, you’re so good-,” 
Short-breathed and fingers tightening in your hair you could feel him reaching his orgasm soon. 
You lifted your gaze up and when he pulled out to make your breath you cupped his balls with one hand and took him inside of your mouth again. 
He choked and started to grunt, meeting your movements with his erratic ones until he went suddenly still and you whined feeling his cum hit the back of your throat. 
You swallowed quickly making him hiss as he thrust a couple of times more and he pulled out slowly, a string of saliva and his seed to connect your tongue to his tip. 
“You’re amazing. You know that?” he whispered with a raspy voice. His fingers caressed your cheeks and lips as you looked up at him panting.
_____
“Do you want me to hit him with my car?” 
Knowing him, it wasn’t a joke so you lightly hit his thigh. “Jeno!”
He chuckled. 
Meeting your soulmate - it should have been electrical, like two magnets meeting each other. 
The first moment you saw his shoulders, you knew it was him. Before you even saw his face and learned his name, you sighed in relief. Finally, you’ve found him and you were at home. 
Then why was it so difficult to just be with Doyoung?
He fucked you good and kissed your lips. He made sure you were okay after fucking your throat and even massaged your feet as you tried to catch your breath on the couch inside your office. 
“Can you please bring us, like, something to drink and some snacks?” Doyoung opened the door and talked to a very mortified secretary. 
“Sure,” he suddenly got up and looked around as if not knowing which planet he was on.
“Why are you torturing that poor boy?” you rolled your eyes when Doyoung plopped back on the couch near him. “Now he’ll want to resign from the job and he was quite good at it.” 
“I think he liked it. I know a post nut face when I see one and he definitely had some fun under that desk.” 
The secretary entered the office and his lips were tight as he placed the tray with coffee on the little table in front of you. 
“Thank you,” you smiled kindly at him. 
“No sugar for you ma’am and one sugar for you sir,” he announced before leaving as quickly as he came in. 
You leaned in and took your mug, sighing when you felt it’s warmth heat your skin.
“How did he know I take my coffee with one sugar?” Doyoung furrowed his eyebrows while doing the same. 
You looked at him and shrugged. “I told you he’s good at his job.”  
And you were thankful that the boy didn’t leave because now as you talked to Jeno in your office, weeks after you’ve seen Doyoung in there, you really needed someone to do your job. 
“I’m just not even concentrating much. I think I caught feelings for him while he only saw this as-- fucking,” you threw your hands in the air once and sighed, sitting down at your desk. 
Jeno hummed pensively. “Well, he strikes me as someone too romantic for that. People who just hookup don’t behave as he does. They just fuck and leave.” 
You rubbed the bridge of your nose. “I just think he was being considerate. You can’t fuck someone’s mouth then leave them there like that.” 
Jeno hummed again. “But he did call you my girl and he called himself your boyfriend.” 
You looked up. “My girl as the girl that I fuck and my boyfriend only to make the secretary let him in.”
Your friend pursed his lips as if considering that side of events. 
“How do you even know all of these details? I don’t remember telling you any of this before,” you chuckled. 
Jeno cleared his voice. “You told me. Are you having a loss of memory too now?” 
You sighed. “Maybe.” 
The young boy cleared his voice again. “Anyway! Plan. Send him nudes.” 
“What?” you exclaimed. 
You could go around your sweet friend Jeno suggesting you to fuck Doyoung when he was the Rabbit boy but suggesting you to send the dude nudes? 
Seeing his pink cheeks Jeno must have suddenly realized what he has just said too and regretted it. 
“Trust me. He’s an air sign. They like sexting and mind fucking and all of that stuff. Now I have to go.”
You looked at him standing up. “Since when are you into astrology? Also, where are you going? We were supposed to have lunch together!” 
“Sext him and send him a good coochie pic. Bye, love you,” he left like the wind and you leaned back in your chair perplexed.
_____
"Do you trust me?" 
"Yeah," his voice was a whisper and it got engulfed by the jingle of handcuffs in your hands. 
You were so beautiful and intoxicating that Doyoung found himself having difficulties breathing when you slowly started to crawl on the bed towards him. 
“I’m glad you wore the lingerie I sent you,” he whispered, hands reaching towards you to feel the material under his fingertips. But you grabbed them with a sudden force and Doyoung groaned, finding himself pinned to the bed instead.  
“No touching,” you purred. 
The young man sighed, feeling his cock twitching on his lower stomach. 
You eyed it and smiled like a cat. “You want me to touch you, babe?” 
Doyoung nodded. “Please?” 
You licked your lips and leaned down, your lips so close to his cock to make him audible whine. A little bit. A little bit more and he would feel-
And then he woke up shaking in his bed. 
“Shit.” Doyoung closed his eyes again, rolling on his back with a certain difficulty. 
His cock was so hard that it was almost painful and he felt short-breathed. 
He looked at his ceiling again and he blinked twice when he realized by the hue of it that his phone lit up. 
With a groan he extended his arm to the side and grabbed it, narrowing his eyes at the bright screen. 
Then he choked and sat up.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
“Fuck!” Doyoung exclaimed upon seeing his phone turn dark in his hands. 
With a quick roll of the body, he put his palms on the ground looking for his charger. It took him some other swears and grunts to finally charge it but the phone remained black.
“What the fuck,” he sighed, hitting his head into the pillow.
_____
It was in the way you walked, the way your feet touched the floor. 
Or maybe it was the way the air floated between your fingers when you moved your wrists as if grabbing something in Doyoung’s chest and pulling him towards you. 
The line of your back extended up until your neck, the line of your jaw, your cheeks puffing up when you laughed and your eyes closing for a second. The sound of it making his heart beat faster and a little smile creeping on his lips although he was in a very bad mood that day. 
The people you were talking to stopped looking at you and stared somewhere behind your back instead. 
Mouth still open while explaining to them that blue and red looked disgusting together, you turned around to see what caught their attention and you met Doyoung’s face. 
Your breath hitched and you had to swallow a few times before being able to speak. 
“Hey,” you straightened your back as he approached you. 
“It’s time for a lunch break,” he announced without batting an eye. 
You blinked a few times, trying to process his presence there all of a sudden. 
“You’re dismissed,” he spoke to the creative team and they obeyed him, walking away slowly and chuckling between themselves. 
You waited for them to not eavesdrop and huffed before whispering. “Who do you think you are?” 
“Your soulmate.” 
He slipped his hand in yours and started to walk towards the exit. You let yourself be dragged amused for the first steps then stopped. 
“My bag.” 
Doyoung rolled his eyes and raised his other hand that was already holding it. 
“Come on. I’m starving.” 
“Where are we going?” you asked the back of his head as you were already descending the stairs. “Why are you here?” 
“I’m annoyed,” he replied as if that was a sufficient explanation and opened the passenger seat’s door for you. "So I wanted to see you because it puts me in a good mood."
You looked at him for a few moments then sighed, trying to conceal your flustered emotions. 
“Why are you annoyed? Because you realized that leaving me on read last night was stupid?” you put on your seatbelt. 
When you raised your head Doyoung’s palms were on both sides of your face and his lips on yours. You exhaled softly, not expecting any of it so suddenly, then timidly you rested your hand on his knee. The luscious material of his suit was delicate under your fingertips so you absentmindedly started to draw little circles on it, imitating the pattern Doyoung’s tongue was making yours dance in. When he pulled away slightly you managed to look at his eyes. He placed another peck on your lips, then another. By the time he placed the third one you were giggling. The corners of his mouth raised too and you cupped his face and he flinched imperceptibly. 
“I thought you wanted to slap me.” 
“There are many reasons why I would want to slap you but not today.” 
“Not today.” 
“Be ready anytime.” 
“You too,” he kissed your knuckles before putting his hands on the wheel. “But like on the butt.”
The engire roared as Doyoung turned the keys. 
“My phone died,” he explained. 
“Yeah, okay.” 
“I swear.”
The engine roared again and you drove away from the winery's parking lot. 
You sighed, crossing your arms on your chest. 
“It’s okay. Only because you’re sweet.”  
"Am I sweet?" 
"You are." 
"You're sweet too so I can't wait to eat you out again."
You rolled your eyes playfully. "Okay, you went there." 
But he didn't do anything you'd expect him to do. Entering his apartment calmly, you both let the shoes at the entrance and you sighed to feel his soft living room rug under your bare feet. 
No bending, no pushing and no hands to knead your flesh. 
You tilted your head to the side amused as he placed your bag on the couch and ventured towards the kitchen. 
"Is Jaemin home?" you inquired. Maybe that was the reason he didn't want to rearrange your guts that day. 
Doyoung took away his jacket and slowly rolled up his sleeves. Your eyes followed his movements and although you weren't horny one bit before you saw him, now you would have been able to go on for multiple rounds with no rest in between upon seeing just his forearms. You took away your jacket too and expected him to do something already but he turned around and entered the kitchen instead. 
"I'm making spaghetti."
You blinked at his profile as he retrieved a pan and a pot, filling the latter with water. 
"Did you really bring me here for lunch?" you couldn't help but ask as you sat down at the table. 
"Yeah. Why? Is that strange?" 
You shrugged. "I don't know. You've always sought me for other things."
He faked an offended expression. "I fed you dinner last time."
You smiled. "But you also fucked me."
"You want me to fuck you after spaghetti?" 
"Not necessarily. I like just hanging out with you, but only you like it as well."
As if sensing something in your tone, his amusement wore off when he finally started to cut the onions. 
"Of course. Why wouldn't I like it?" 
"I mean, we've never really openly discussed this," you gestured between you. "Hell, I fucked you three times before knowing your name."
"You've never asked for it."
"Yeah, well, my mouth was busy doing something else." 
He smiled a little and let the onions fall into the hot pan, stirring a few times and opening the fridge to retrieve the tomato sauce. 
"How do you want to discuss it?" 
His voice got quieter and you had the hunch that he really didn't like having serious talks or emotional ones. Just like, well, just like your supposed soulmate. The thought made your stomach knot up. 
"I know this might sound a little funny, but like, what are we?" 
Doyoung added the tomato sauce and sprinkled salt, pepper and hot pepper flakes on it before stirring. His domestic look made your chest hurt in ways you've never experienced with him before and suddenly you were afraid to know what he had to say. 
"I don't know, but we can be something starting now."
You sighed a little. "Like, friends with benefits?" 
Doyoung's expression didn't change but his throat moved as he swallowed. The water started to boil and he put the spaghetti in, pushing them inside as they softened. 
"You want us to be friends with benefits?" 
No. 
Yes. 
But like no. 
You wanted the friends, you wanted the benefits, but you wanted more. 
Would you scare him away if you said that? Would he retreat just like he did when you mentioned the soulmates discourse? 
"What about you?"
Dancing around each other like two assassins about to throw the first dagger you let the silence be the witness of it. 
"I like you," he hit you first but it was no knife. It was light just like a kiss and your eyelids fluttered. 
"Really?" 
He let out a single soft chuckle. "Yeah. Why are you so surprised?" 
You gulped and looked around not knowing what to say. 
"It's just-- your whole soulmate discourse made it look like you wouldn't be romantically interested in me at all."
Doyoung didn’t speak for a moment as if trying to remember, then nodded. 
"I don't believe in soulmates." 
He placed the lid on the sauce and let it slowly cook. 
"I believe in choices. And I'm choosing you I guess."
"Don't you think that maybe you're conditioned to choose me because I'm your soulmate?" you tried to joke but Doyoung didn't smile. 
"And where would the fun be in that? My freedom? I think the universe might give you a path but you're free to follow it or not."
"Of course. But isn't it comforting to know that the universe is taking care of you that way?" 
"Maybe. Perhaps we're actually soulmates and we've met like ones but now it's our duty to do something about it. I can decide not to see you anymore. What's the universe going to do about it?" 
"Make me get into your way and annoy you?" you smiled and his lips curved too.  
"What I'm trying to say is that I think we're making our soulmates. I decide that you're my soulmate and we mould ourselves to fit each other. No one is a perfect fit."
You didn't know what to say. 
"I tried all of this time you know? I actively sought you out and maybe to you it was fate but we wouldn't be here if I didn't come to you. But you've just been waiting."
His words stung your heart and it felt like a scold. 
"I just--it's not like I don't care. I also like you. A lot. I was just--hoping for it to be soulmate like, you know? Maybe that was childish of me." 
"What did the Lady tell you? As your last words?" 
"To have faith."
"Me too. But to me, faith is putting in the effort and believing in good results. Not waiting for stuff to happen."
"I guess you're right."
"Would you have let me go if you didn't think I was the soulmate you were looking for?" 
You blinked a few times unable to speak. 
Yeah. 
You would have and the sudden realization felt so scary that your spine started to shiver. 
He has been speaking without looking at you and at your silence, he turned his head towards you. When he noticed your glossy eyes he let the pan go and walked towards you.
"Why? No. Why are you crying?" he kneeled in front of you, talking with a soft voice and he placed his hands on your shoulders. 
You shook your head shocked to see a few drops on your thighs and quickly patted your cheeks dry. Then you let out a timid laugh. 
"I don't know what happened. I got emotional all of a sudden. It's fine."
Doyoung sighed and nibbled at his lower lip. 
"What I'm trying to say is, even if someone came to me now and told me that you're not my soulmate and they are instead, I would not care. I'm still choosing whoever I want and that's you."
You felt your chin shake by itself and hated the fact that you wore your emotions on your sleeve like that. 
"I'm sorry."
"Why?" 
You shrugged. "I don't know. I feel like I fucked up something." 
Doyoung waited, his fingers gently running your arms. 
"I would have probably made the mistake of letting you go-," you sobbed, "and at first since things have been so weird and not necessarily easy I didn’t try enough-," 
His eyes softened and he pulled you into a hug. 
"You're here now. Why are you worrying about things that could have happened?" 
You wrapped his neck and hid your face into his shirt. His familiar scent culled you and you bathed in his warmth. 
"I feel like I'm very childish right now and the lady told me that my soulmate liked me for being a boss woman-," 
"I like all of our sides, you fool," he pulled you away and kissed your forehead. 
"But you’d like me more if I tied you up." "You’d also like me more if I tied you up." "I actually like it when you're subby." "See? And the lady told me that you liked me being dominant." "I do love it when you're dominant," you timidly circled his chest with your finger. "Hm, maybe I should-," 
"The pasta!" you yelled pointing your finger and Doyoung jolted turning around towards the stove. 
The pasta was completely fine and he sighed closing his eyes. 
"I thought it was on fire," he complained with a whiny tone as he turned the stove off. Quickly he drained the spaghetti and threw it in the tomato sauce stirring it afterwards. With the corner of his eye, he saw you stand. 
"Come here."
You giggled and took a few quick steps back. 
His eyes were furious and paired with his smiling expression he looked like a tornado. 
"Come here," he repeated. 
You shook your head. 
"I said-," he managed to grab you and throw you on his shoulder, "-come here."
"Fuck!" you squealed. "Yeah, fuck, that's exactly what I'm going to do to you now."
One second you were standing and the other you were lying down on the couch with the most aggressive Doyoung you’ve ever seen attached to your neck. 
The whines came quickly as he sucked your skin inside the mouth, not worrying for a second if it might become sore. As you grabbed his belt his iron fingers clasped your wrists together and you found yourself pinned with your arms above your head. Your chest rose and fell fast looking at his dark eyes under the unstyled fringe. 
“Be a good girl and perhaps I’ll think about making you cum,” he whispered through his teeth. You squirmed under him and found yourself breathless. 
“Did you hear me?” his other hand fell back the exact moment he bit down on your clothed nipple. 
“Are you not wearing a bra?” 
You giggled. “I manifested you coming to see me today. And you did.” 
His eyes were dark as they analyzed you and for an instance, you thought he’d burst into tears. 
But then he reached the hem of your blouse and lifted it up in a second, biting your nipple, letting his tongue circle it afterwards, soothing the sudden sweet pain then biting on it again, stretching it out, sucking on it, giving the same treatment to the other one. His fingers intertwined yours when he felt your wrists try to lift up from the couch and he pushed them down even harder than before. 
“Do I have to tie you all up? Huh? I bet you’d like it, right?” 
His breath was hot on your lips and so was his tongue when he took it out and slowly outlined them with his wet tip. You opened your mouth and took out your tongue too with a little moan, trying to catch him into a kiss, but he chuckled lightly and let you feel the air instead. Another whine as you lifted your head to reach him but he was quick to push you down by pressing his fingers on your throat. You choked lightly and he pouted. 
“Bad baby girls don’t get to kiss,” he murmured. "But if you really want it-" he pressed one finger on your lower lip and opened your mouth. Y
our thighs tightened their hold around his waist and you pulled him towards you even more. The trail of saliva falling on your tongue from his mouth added somehow to the wetness between your legs. 
You wanted to be a good girl. You wanted to be a good girl so badly, pleasing him and letting him whatever he wanted to you. 
Swallowing slowly, you opened your mouth for more and he finally shoved his tongue inside, kissing you deeply, grunting as he let your hands go and you were quick to let them slide under his shirt. 
His skin was hot and your fingers icy cold. He hissed when you circled his nipples and bit your lip. 
"Maybe you should warm your hands by doing something useful." He took his cock out and-
"Okay, that's enough!" Jeno threw a cloth on the crystal ball. 
"Ah! Come on! I was having so much fun," the Lady complained, jingling her earrings as she giggled. 
The boy sitting across the table made a throwing up sound. "Also, why are you still looking like that? It's creeping me out," he commented. 
The Lady looked at the mirror on her right and chuckled again. 
"I like it when Haechannie is like this," Jaemin appeared from behind him and playfully kissed his cheek. 
Jeno made another gag sound. "Gross."
Haechan shook his head and as the boys blinked he was back to his boyish looks. "I'll never get used to this," Jaemin murmured as he was not holding long hair anymore. 
"Good job guys. We did it again," Haechan stood up and yawned, lifting his arms in a satisfying stretch. "If Jaemin didn't get back home that time she was over then it might have been quicker," Jeno lifted his legs on the table and leaned down on the chair. 
“This is my first job! It was very tough for me actually,” Jaemin complained. 
“Hard for you? I had to be myself, the winery girl, the secretary-,” he counted on his fingers. 
“I had to be the cashier and I almost lost it when Jaemin said he couldn’t wait to taste your wet pussy-,” Haechan threw his head back and laughed. Jaemin imitated him soon after.
“Did you see Doyoung’s face? He wasn’t into it at all.” 
"I miss being a Gryffindor. This universe is boring as fuck,” Jeno rolled his eyes even if he was also smiling a little. 
"The next one might be as boring as this my dear friends," Haechan sat back down and brought out his book. 
Jeno groaned. "Can't we have a normal life for once? I had to pretend I was a girl. And not only. The thought of Y/N thinking I was doing BDSM stuff with that guy-," he indicated a very amused Jaemin, "-took a toll on my health." 
"I'm sorry I'm not a shapeshifter too. I would have loved to be the girl in this relationship. Also, it was you that told her we were doing BDSM stuff, not me.”
“It’s because I forgot to fully shift my arms! She thought I was-,”
"Quiet."
As Haechan spoke the guys immediately stopped talking and Jeno put his feet down. 
"The next one is going to be a hard one. We're going to a dark place."
He closed the book.
"To hell, boys."
2K notes · View notes
ressjeon · 3 years
Text
i don’t think i’m okay | ksj
Tumblr media
➻ pairing: kim seokjin x fem! reader
➻ summary: with many chances wasted, you couldn’t even resist anymore.
➻ rating: 18+
➻ genre: romance, smut, light angst, fluff, slice of life, idiotstolovers!au, lowkey crack?, childhoodfriends!au? (more like acquaintance)
➻ word count: 4k+
➻ warnings: mutual pining, light swearing, mentions of divorce and implied cheating, family problems, brief mentions of mental health struggles, kissing & making out, teasing (duh), unprotected sex (pls stay safe), missionary lovemaking with aftercare & pillowtalk (yie 🥴)
➻ a/n: surprised that I posted this fast aren’t you? here’s my submission for the “spring will come again” event hosted by @bangtanarmynet (prompts 5 & 18, at the end) and my attempt of fluff hehe. Listen to this song by Bazzi for the vibe (not the lyrics tho but idk lowkey) and it's inspired by one of my childhood crushes :)
Tumblr media
Yeoksam Luxury Villa
We are pleased to inform you that your reservation has been received and confirmed.
You smiled in relief once you read the booking confirmation of the retreat for yourself that you've been planning for a while. You scheduled it for the last week of Spring so you’ll be able to relax and ready for adventure in the following Summer.
For weeks your mother had been pestering you to include the entire family or maybe just your sibling when you proposed to have a luxurious treat for yourself. You just wanted this moment to be for yourself since you're going back to your home country after so many years.
And besides, you're already having a homecoming party where everyone's invited so what's the point. Scrolling through your IG feed, you spotted him with one of your closest cousins, Jaekyung and you're contemplating on asking him to invite his best friend but you'll take your chances.
You: Psstt, uh are you done inviting everyone?
Jaekyung: You mean if I invited Jin already?
You: Fuck off prick I just wanna check in to make sure
Jaekyung: sUrE, sure but yeah he knows, he said he’s busy tho
A sad sigh escaped from you, your earlier excitement now replaced with disappointment. Wow what's new anyways, your silly little crush is still apparent even just seeing Seokjin's picture. 
Jaekyung has always irked you a lot because he's been teasing you about Seokjin since you were kids but you love him regardless. He’s like an older brother to you and has the same age as Jin so they practically hangout every time the latter comes to town.You may also have been too obvious of your little crush on Seokjin that he immediately noticed and tormented you both during birthday parties.
Sometimes you actually feel bad for Seokjin because of all the teasing he gets not only from your cousin but his older sister as well. You and her have been close mainly because you crave having an older sibling, especially a sister. You hated being the eldest cause of you know, gazillion reasons. You invited her and of course she said yes but then she told you how Seokjin might be coming too since he’s apparently free.
Then why did he turn down your cousin’s invite? Does he even remember you at all?
You felt a pang at the thought but you dismissed it immediately. You still need to pack up so no time to wallow. You're gonna go to this retreat with a Seokjin-free mind.
.
When you arrived at the villa, you were in awe of how gorgeous it is. Everything from the inside architecture and all the villa's luxurious services made you pretty damn hype to be finally fully relaxed. You met with the receptionist and told you to be in the lobby after dinner for a welcoming soiree so you’re even more excited to meet new people.
After settling your stuff, you went outside and toured the entire villa, enjoying all the scheduled activities you planned but truth to be told you mainly enjoyed being pampered in the spa the most. You never regretted having this despite your initial doubts with you being money conscious growing up.
During dinner, you didn't really care much to talk to people since all you can focus on is the food, so damn delicious as you have been starving with all the things that you did today and you're more excited for the soiree after anyways. You went back to your room to touch up since you feel like you look messy after eating so much.
Coming down the stairs to the foyer you noticed people talking to themselves already but most of them seemed to be focused on something, more like someone.
And then you hear it, a familiar melody echoing throughout the room that is being played by someone on the piano in the middle of it. At first you only focused on the melody, bringing back to when you tried learning the instrument in elementary only to stop in order to focus on your studies.
But as you came nearer, you're starting to notice who it is, with his prominent broad shoulders and his perfect posture even when sitting down. There's no doubt it's Seokjin.
You walked nearer, observing him graciously playing the piano with his delicate fingers. You marvelled his face, maybe it's just your eyes but he's gotten more handsome now, it's been almost 7 years since you left after all.
With you getting fascinated with Seokjin's musical skill you didn't notice how you're slowly walking closer to a display table near the corner, and when you moved a little to get a good angle of him, you accidentally elbowed the vase behind you.
The sound cracked into the air that diverted everyone's attention from Seokjin to you. You froze, embarrassed at your clumsiness but before you can apologize you see him turned to you. Seokjin's eyes immediately locked with yours, you noticed the disbelief in them though you wonder if he's only trying to remember your face with this perplexed reaction.
You blinked away and started apologizing to everyone around you, even trying to help the cleaners who insisted for you not worry since this happens quite often. You left in a hurry, not giving Seokjin a glance as you hurriedly passed everyone.
Jin is utterly shocked to see you here of all places, he couldn't believe that you're finally back. Are you staying for good or just visiting? Despite his surprise, he managed to catch your startled reaction on seeing him. 
He immediately stood up, ignoring the weird looks he's been getting and hushed complaints since he stopped playing the piano. He's been there for a while now because of countless requests from other guests and he's just too nice to decline. 
You heard footsteps behind you and now you're nervous because it's surely him. You saw the determined look in his eyes earlier beyond the surprise in them so you already guessed that he'll follow you. But why though?
“You saved me back there” he chuckled, breathing heavily as he caught up to you. You stopped in your tracks, a confused expression displayed on your face.
"Uh you're welcome hehe" you smiled shyly as you recovered, avoiding his stares. You've always been bad at making eye contact and it's not helping when Seokjin's staring at you intensely. 
"How have you been Y/N? Didn't think I'd find you here" he laughs nervously, pondering his approach with your stunned face. He's not gonna be an idiot this time, he already missed his shots before.
"Small world haha but you really remember me?"
You awkwardly laughed since you’re taken aback at how he's approaching you like you two have been long time friends reuniting.
But you and Seokjin weren't friends, just acquaintances since you see each other a lot during celebrations.
"What, you think I'd forget you?" he smiled at you when you turned to him but you didn't miss the regretful look in his eyes. And here you thought he's good at hiding his feelings according to Jaekyung.
"I don't know, you never really talked to me back then" you retorted.
"I just..,hey–"
A sudden darkness enveloped everything around you that made Seokjin yelped and you heard the panicked outcries from the guests in the lobby. You on the other hand remained calm as blackouts don't really scare you.
You were never afraid of it, growing up getting used to frequent blackouts from your little town you developed a skill of maneuvering in the dark. Only case now is that Seokjin's making you nervous so now you clumsily walk forward and hit the corner of the wall.
You let out a small yelp but Seokjin's immediately by your side, holding you tightly. You couldn't see his face but you can tell by his tense touch how worried he is.
"Are you alright?" he asked gently and you chuckled.
"I just bumped Jinnie"
"Jinnie huh?" he teased and you're so sure he's smirking right now.
"Whatever, let's go find some candles" you wavered and instantly grabbed his arm but he removed your hand and laced it together with his own.
You're so fucked, this is moving faster than you anticipated. 
Seokjin's surprised at how you easily moved in the dark and you tried to ignore the butterflies in your stomach when you're holding hands with him, with Seokjin after all these years.
.
You both ventured through the halls and stopped when one of the staff reassured you that the blackout won’t last for the whole night. Seokjin immediately asked for the candles (which are looking fancy btw) and the staff handed them to you. Seokjin tugged you nearer to him to observe your reaction and he can feel you’re still skeptical around him, after all, you’re practically complete strangers until earlier.
"Y-Y/N, I've been meaning to talk to you–"
"I know, but let's not talk in here" you responded softly which caused a big relief for Seokjin. You dragged him further away from other guests and staff, the little light from the moon outside guiding you both as you walked through the stairs. You were going to go in the direction to your room when he moved around the corner and you noticed that it’s towards his room.
“It’s nearer than your room and I might have a flashlight and more candles there" he responded obviously, looking down at the dimming candle which is why you agreed anyways. You are also mentally preparing for this "talk" of you and him. Is this it? Will he confront you about your obvious feelings for him? How fucking embarrassing would that be.
You both entered a large suite which didn’t surprise you. Knowing Seokjin, of course he would get one of the biggest suites in the villa. You laughed thinking how big this room is for one person, it’s that bigger than yours.
Even in the darkness, you can feel him peering at you and now you’re feeling jittery, all your laughter gone in an instant. 
“I-”
“Uh-”
You both laughed a little for answering at the same time, quite cute actually. Seokjin's still fetching some candles when you walk over to him, surprising him when you turn him around to face you.
"You've been really wanting to talk to me, so now we'll talk Jin" you smiled at him and he smiled back, looking at you like you're the only light in this dark room. 
But you are though, always have been in his life ever since.
"Okay so I know we've never really had an actual conversation every time we see each other before but.." he paused, he seems to be nervous. Kim Seokjin is nervous? You smiled in amusement which he didn't miss. What if..
"I like you"
Your widened eyes mirrored Seokjin's after you both synced again. But no laugh came after this time.
"No" you said dryly, your expression twisting into disbelief making him wince.
"Y-Y/N–"
"My cousin and your sister made my feelings even more obvious but you don't have to use that just to start a conversation Seokjin" you sighed in disappointment.
"No, that's not it and where is this even coming from?" his voice frantic after noticing your opposite response to his confession.
"No? How could you? How could you even like me when you couldn't even look at me before let alone talking to me" your voice laced in irritation.
"I don't think you noticed it back then" he sighed and closed his eyes. You didn't know what to say because you're very confused right now.
He took your silence as a sign to continue so he took a deep breath and opened his eyes, looking straight into yours.
"You know I've always looked forward to going to parties before, because then I'll get to play with your cousins who I treat as brothers since you know, I don't have one" he looked away and smiled warmly, remembering the fond memories of his childhood.
You wanted him to continue but you have so many questions for him. He waited for them but you don't know what to ask first. Annoyance and confusion battling themselves in your mind.
He nodded slightly, a knowing look on his face and turned his back at you. He needs to explain now before your patience runs out but he couldn’t focus with your pretty face in front of him.
“I wasn’t in a good place back then, my parents were always fighting back home so the only way I’ll get an actual break is when I go with my sisters to your town during gatherings. They’re divorced now though, Dad keeps saying that Mom cheated but I didn’t know who to believe that’s why until now I always leave the house as much as I can” he sounds defeated. You noticed how his broad shoulders slacked against the table and your face softened.
“Jin, I’m sorry I didn’t know” you’re full of guilt now, you should’ve just let him explain before. You’re too consumed with your own feelings that you didn’t even give Seokjin the benefit of the doubt, already assuming everything just because you think you’re the only one looking. Your heart broke at his revelation, how he’s still carrying that experience even today.
“Nah it’s okay, even your cousin didn’t know. Guess I have been really good at hiding it, well at least for everyone outside my family” he playfully responded, trying to lighten up the situation.
You walked closer to Seokjin, aching to hug him to comfort him but you didn’t wanna be too pushy. Just because he said he likes you doesn’t mean you’re allowed to cross boundaries already.
“Jinnie..” you said softly, wanting him to turn around.
“I just don’t go to those parties as my escape place and because of your cousins, I wanted to go because I wanted to see you as well ” you heart’s racing with another confession of his.
You couldn’t help it, so many times you could’ve been together. Maybe if you didn’t leave and paid attention more, it would’ve been different. So you instantly wrapped your arms around his waist and you heard him inhale sharply. shit, is it too much?
But then he released a contented sigh and leaned back into your arms, causing you to relax and smile at his response.
"I'm here Jinnie" you spoke gently.
He removed your arms and turned to face you, his eyes full of longing and affection. You reached for his face with one of your hands and he grabbed the other one, lacing his fingers on yours and brought it to his other cheek.
A tender smile appeared on his very handsome face as he leaned back in the table and you closed the distance between you. You both closed your eyes the moment your lips met, his soft and plump ones molding with your own. He removed his other hand from your fingers, running it down delicately through your arm and you shivered in his touch.
The kiss started off slowly and gently but minutes passed by and you both are starting to feel the neediness for each other. You released your lips from his and you both stared at each other's eyes, inhaling sharply after when his lips started kissing your jaw towards your neck.
You tilt your head on the side to give him more access but his hands grabbed your waist closer to him, situating you between his legs causing your legs to touch his inner thighs and he groaned.
Sensitive part then?
You smirked but it vanished when his hands went down to stroke the back of your thighs underneath your dress, gliding them higher and higher until he reached your bum. You gasped when he grabbed a handful, your hands grasping into his hair as he nipped your collarbones.
You don't really mind if he leaves marks but he's doing it lightly so it won't. Seokjin continued his teasing, purposely doing the same thing over and over again until he felt you getting impatient.
"Seokjin.." you whined softly and pulled his hair, making him moan. He didn't answer you and just smiled against your neck, pecking them lightly before looking back at your cute, scrunched up face.
You couldn't take it anymore and you know he's teasing. Of course, Seokjin won't be Seokjin without it.
He watched in daze as you slowly undressed yourself in front of him. He did not think you'd actually do this with him so he’s thankful, though he still wonders how lucky he is that you accepted his confession.
"Are you sure?" he asked softly and you nodded, clutching his suit.
"Off" you demanded.
He laughed quietly and started removing his clothes slowly.
"Jin I swear–"
You immediately stopped your ramble as soon as you saw his skin into view. Despite the dimmed lighting, you can still clearly see his well-built physique.
He's not muscular like other guys but you don’t really care anyways because it’s Seokjin. Your eyes scanned his face down to his body and you gulped when they reached his very hard member. You looked away now fidgeting but Seokjin just confidently stood up and grabbed your face to kiss you, his thumb caressing your jaw as his kisses turned intense. 
You reciprocated them with fervour, pressing your tongue against his lower lip asking for an entrance which he gladly accepted. Hands desperately roaming at each other’s bodies, you both slowly approached his bed, mouths not stopping at devouring each other until the back of your knees reached the edge.
Seokjin released you, his eyes studying your face, mumbling “gorgeous” before crouching down but you stopped him before his knees reached the floor.
"I want to," he insisted as his palms slid up through your legs, adding the yearning look in his eyes that almost made you say yes. 
"Next time Jinnie" 
"Next time?" he asked softly, scanning your face for any humor in it but you only nodded sheepishly, still shy with this whole thing.
"Mmhmm, I want you inside me now" you pouted, your arousal slowly clouding your shyness. 
"Why are you impatient?" he chuckled, looking at you amusingly, brows wiggling.
"Because the lights might go back on!" you whined.
"So?"
"Jinnie–"
"Are you ready?" Seokjin looked back at you carefully, bringing back your attention to him.
"Mhhmm" you nodded as your nerves increased when he stepped even closer to you with all his naked glory.
Lord thank you for sculpting him like this.
"Words, love" he cooed, laying you both in the mattress, positioning himself after.
"Yes, I'm ready. I have been wanting you for years Jin" you sighed, glad at expressing what you feel for him after keeping them for so long.
And slowly he entered you, making you gasp in pleasure at the feeling when he bottomed out. He's so big and you saw a little smirk appear on his face while letting you adjust. You look so gorgeous like this, staring lovingly into his eyes and he pressed a soft kiss on your forehead, God why did it take him so long..
Jin started moving his hips, slowly grinding himself into you, making his crotch rub into your clit. You gaped at his beautiful sight above you, both of his arms planted on each side of your head and the sweat now forming on his face as his pace is slowly increasing. 
A smile formed on your lips when he groaned at how you keep clenching around him .You ran your palms through his clamp biceps, feeling them up until both of your hands reached his face. Seokjin tilted his head and rubbed his cheeks into your palms, the love swimming in his almond-shaped eyes.
Seokjin masks his emotions so well so you almost teared up at how he's letting you see him with all of them out in the open, right here with you. Your touches roamed down to his chest and he shuddered, his elbows bucking down to the sheets and he latched his mouth into one of your nipples, sucking it slowly. 
You had to hold back your moans because the guests might hear you but Seokjin has other plans. His pace increased its speed and you spread your legs wider, allowing him to hit that spot inside you and you almost scream in delight. 
He silenced your moans by kissing you deeply and you responded to them with equal passion.
"Jinnie.." you whimpered as you feel your orgasm nearing, the feeling of his cock stretching your walls deliciously.
"Hmm? I’m close too, love" he whispered, and the endearment didn’t go unnoticed by you despite the pleasure that’s taking over your mind and your heart soared with love for this man.
"I-I'm here for you..fuck!" you cried when his fingers reached down to your clit, his thumb rubbing the swollen bud even faster than his current pace.
"My solace..I love you Y/N'' he gasped shakily, closing eyes shut when your walls clamped around his cock as you reached your peak. The intense pleasure from your climax didn't allow you to respond to him so you just draped your arms around him, hugging him as your breath came down slowly.
He's very close while he's helping you ride out your orgasm but his breath is quickening so you released him and he pulled out just in time, spurts of his cum hitting the mound of your pussy, so much of it that it dribbled down to your sensitive folds. 
All of a sudden, everything was bright and you covered your eyes, shying away from the brightness and Seokjin giggled.
"You're so cute" he smiled warmly at you and you squirm as you feel his cum dripping into the sheets. 
An amused smile loomed his disheveled face as he stood up to get his shirt, climbing back to the bed to clean you up and you beamed. You're really in this deep.
"I love you too Jinnie" you whispered, smiling at him affectionately and he waved you to come closer to him.You put your head on his chest, nuzzling into him while his arms caressed you.
He hummed and silence ruled over you for a while, you're just very happy right now. You still couldn't believe that your childhood crush is your..wait, is he your boyfriend now then?
"You know, your cousin's been teasing me about you since the first time we met" he blurted and you gasped dramatically as you got up, causing him to laugh at your exaggerated reply.
"Really? Gods he does the same to me!" you huffed and Jin just giggled, staring at you fondly.
"I was also gonna offer to teach you some piano stuff secretly before" he confessed meekly, catching you in surprise.
"How did you know? Oh wait, Jaekyung" you scowled, playfully rolling your eyes at him.
“I have another question” you eyed him warily.
He hummed while affectionately touching the side of your back, lightly grabbing your bum.
“Why did you turn down his invite?” 
He laughed hard, hands clamping on his stomach and you elbowed him, your eyebrows scrunching.
“It’s because I wanted to ask you in person, you know an excuse to start talking to you” he giddily responded and you grinned, he finally sounded happy this time.
Seconds later, you noticed his demeanour slowly changing into hesitation, his face contorting into nervousness and eyes refusing to meet yours when you looked at him questioningly. 
"Are-are you only visiting?" he asked quietly, unsure if he wants to know your answer. These years without you made his life dull and he doesn't know if he can handle you leaving after what just happened between you both.
"I don't know, am I?" you teased, fingers running circles on his chest and Seokjin immediately caught on to what you wanted to hear.
"You are not or I will go with you anywhere, girlfriend" he grinned, cocking his head playfully and leaned up, pecking your lips softly.
"Then no, someone just changed my reason to stay" you laughed heartily and instantly moved away when he was about to cage you, his intentions clear with the mischief in his eyes.
“Nope, in my room this time” you winked at him and got up immediately, grabbing on one of his oversized shirts and left him chuckling between the sheets.
This is gonna be a long vacation and you couldn't ask for more.
Tumblr media
Prompts:
(5) There is a blackout in the whole building and now we stumble through our apartment, trying to find some candles
(18) At a luxury retreat, Socialite B overhears the most beautiful song and spends the rest of their vacation trying to figure who played that instrument (the writer can choose anything) until they discover it’s their first love - Person A.
Tumblr media
tagging Jin stans: @sugasbabiie​ @jinned @erotikkook​ @aroseforyoongi​ @missgeniality​ @kithtaehyung​
©  ressjeon 2021. do not repost, modify, or translate.
390 notes · View notes
serene-victory-77 · 3 years
Text
Why The Crows Being Teenagers Is Actually Perfectly Realistic
There’s a TL;DR are the end because wow I like to rant.
I lightly discuss the general situations they’re all in to explore how they are frighteningly mature and competent, but it’s not particularly depressing or descriptive, it’s definitely lighter than the books
I thought about this post with a joke first: “People who think that Six of Crows is unrealistic because they’re so young clearly have not spent much time with traumatized honors students.”
It’s a bit of an exaggeration, but the point stands.
But I decided that, hm, actually, I could make a point about this. I totally agree with the aging up of the characters in the Shadow and Bone show, but when people straight up say that the books are wrong or unrealistic for having a young crew, I get annoyed, and here’s why (other than me reading the books for the first time when I was 13 and thinking ‘Huh okay, I see it’ and now being lowkey offended when people say they ignore it for being unrealistic):
On Inej
- At first I thought Inej’s wisdom and general demeanor was one of the most unrealistic things in the book
- When I thought about it longer, I was like “Actually, she’s 16, right? I’ve sent some of the most lyrical philosophy trying to help my friends while in high school. My friends have done the same. It’s valid.”
- Frankly, teenagers love hard-hitting philosophical truths. They love repeating what they’ve read or heard in movies and in books and from family stories. They love sharing little bits of wisdom they have come up with
- Inej’s ability to hear and understand philosophy and wisdom that she was surrounded by for 14 straight years and then sit on it and elaborate it for her friends to understand, or even just to piss them off in Kaz’s case? 
- Teenagers have that. They do it. So, Inej’s Wisdom passes, to me. It’s valid. 
As for her being calm
- You know how everyone jokes that Kaz seems calm on the outside but when you get to his POV he’s like “What the fuck” at the Van Eck house or just straight up “Huh, is this revenge for making tree jokes” at the Djel River thingy in the Ice Court?
- Inej is like that, too. And she gets angry, and she gets confused, or exhausted.
- AKA every quiet kid ever. Like, are you kidding? Have you ever been in a situation in which it’s literally chaos all around you, people are screaming and things are being destroyed (think middle school classroom with bitchy long term substitute and even worse students), and you’re just, calm? You pick up your things, you do what you need to do?
- That’s Inej. Like, what else is she gonna do? She’s smart enough to know that panicking won’t help anyone, and so she just rides it out. Internally she might be like “Why is this happening” but frankly, her being quiet and controlled in most situations is probably a coping mechanism and I respect that
- Pretty sure this is also based on the fact that the Suli have no land for their own and constantly have to keep moving. It might align with generational trauma, I’m sure someone could explain it better than me, but being able to keep your cool while constantly having to change and adapt to new situations, in, say, a country with hellfire politics and no land to call your own? Seems like a hereditary trait that could be useful in Ketterdam, although it’s sad.
On Inej’s abilities
- Simone Biles started training when she was 6 and went to the World Artistic Gymnastics Championships when she was 16, where she qualified in all the events. 
- There are videos of people walking over tightropes as young as three years old. We know Inej didn’t start that young, but not only was she naturally talented at it, but she spent a lot of time practicing. I think it’s valid. Plus, some of her family members do some pretty crazy things in her flashbacks, because that’s the whole point of what they do. 
- Youngest person to beat American Ninja Warrior was 16 year old Vance Walker
- Inej has a variety of of tools that help her wall climb, and while it’s true that she started young and got good really fast, she already had a history of physical work that would help her, and from what we can gleam from the book, a surprising amount of free time in which she was actively encouraged to learn everything she could. 
So that’s Inej! I think her skills are perfectly possible for someone with her history and situation. It’s true that she’s naturally skilled, but that’s not actually all that unusual. And her demeanor and wisdom do fit in with what a lot of teenagers are like and the circumstances she was brought up in
Onto Kaz!
- One thing I hear about is that Kaz is too smart for not having gone to school and also too young to know all that he does
- Do you all KNOW how many self-taught people there have been in this world? The word for people who are self-taught is autodidacts, and honestly a huge amount of famous people apply. Like many, many other people in history (there’s a whole list of them in Wikipedia), he had an vested interest in a field and he learned all he could. Sure, those fields were magic tricks and math, but still.
- Suddenly I have a lot of thoughts
- Okay, think, hyperfixations. That’s essentially what Kaz’s thing with magic tricks was, right? Have any of you ever spent time with an eight year old that clearly really, really loves dinosaurs? Those kids can spout names and facts and identify them by their skeletons and frankly know more than I ever will. Kaz’s was magic tricks. All kids are special.
- Kaz continued working on magic tricks and practicing them for years, so, I think that gets a pass. 
- As for the math! Look, a Fact Of Life is that some kids are just Like That, whether it be possibly from neurodivergence or other factors:
- Flo and Kay Lyman are twins with Autism who basically have the calendar of EVER memorized. Kaz memorizing card decks is sensible, and these ladies don’t need to look up anything to figure it out, so Kaz doing sums inside his head seems plausible. His “photographic memory’ isn’t impossible, although the term itself might be incorrect.
- Katherine Johnson who worked at NASA (yes, the lady from Hidden Figures), was so good at math that she was in high school by age 10 and went to college at age 15. It’s true that she had some teaching, but 1. There’s no evidence Kaz had absolutely no schooling, even if it was just at home with books and 2. Kaz was 9 when he came to Ketterdam, and after Jordie died, when he wasn’t surviving, he was learning. 
- Human calculator is a term that is applied to children a lot and there’s definitely plenty of videos showing how smart these kids are and them doing mental math easily, which he does in the books
- He had a LOT of pressure on him to figure out all he could, and if he wanted to move forward, he was going to have to learn a lot. He spent hours practicing magic tricks, for all we know he spent hours practicing math too. We know Jordie was a bit of a bookworm too, so Kaz from a young age probably already had a reason to learn. Personally, a lot of my love for books was inspired by my older sibling when I was younger
- Young people are adaptable. Kaz is incredibly adaptable. The term prodigy exists because of people like him through history. 
- As for him being rational, there’s no other way to survive. Some of the greatest soldiers in history have been very, very young, and very, very smart. It’s true tacticians are generally considered to be older, but that doesn’t mean there haven’t been very young ones. 
- A lot of the generals I found were like, 19 years old, but Kaz is 1. not a general and 2. in a place where young people take up the mantle really, really quickly, and frankly it’s been like that for a long time. I still think this passes. This isn’t relevant but William the Conqueror was apparently called “The Bastard”?
- Frankly, underground communities of thieves probably don’t go around publishing their escapades so to me it makes sense that I can’t just look up “famous young thieves” and get anything that makes sense, but I did try
- Y’all I tried to do research on youngest escape artists since I think Kaz qualifies and I found myself in what I think is a magicians forum? It’s from 2002-ish and I feel like I’ve just found a relic. I can’t definitely prove they’re all saying the truth, but some of the people there talk about 10-11 year olds at magic camps, so, it’s not impossible for this to be a skill Kaz learned really young, particularly when he made a habit of following around magicians
- I think he passes the realism check overall
For the other Crows:
- Nina being so proficiently multilingual makes sense to me, because she’s been in the Little Palace almost her entire life with all the best teachers they could afford at her disposal. Some people just click with languages. One such would be Timothy Doner, who spoke 23 languages at 16. 
- Nina is a child soldier. She of course can handle the battlefield, although I imagine there’s a degree of trauma that she has to deal with (although it’s true that most of her work was always meant to angle her towards being a spy).
- Jesper was taught to shoot from a young age by Aditi, who was likely incredibly proficient. Plus, there’s mentions of him and his father being on some sort of frontier at one point in the books, so, it’s likely that Jesper got his fair share of ‘being a child soldier” since he would’ve been 15 or younger. Plus, with being a Fabrikator, he gets a leg up
- Jesper’s smart y’all, he just also likes to have fun
- I am a little terrified by the fact that I looked up ‘youngest sharpshooter’ and found out about a 9 year old girl (Addysson “Addy” Soltau) who can indeed shoot guns, but uh, it does prove my point
- Matthias... I haven’t heard anyone really argue about Matthias. He’s the oldest at 18 and again, he’s essentially a religious child soldier. Of course he would be built af and know how to handle himself in a fight, and in a flashback about meeting Trassel, we’re told that he was actually distanced from the other boys and was the biggest and strongest/smartest of the group. Perhaps not compared to Kaz, but still
- We know how Wylan ended up how he is, so I don’t think i have to defend how he’s both a musical prodigy, good at math, and good at chemistry. Plenty of kids who can’t do one thing will immediately gravitate to a different field (think AP math students who can’t write essays, or those kids who could analyse a book and it’s metaphors in class but didn’t understand geometry).
- Granted he took it far but it’s kinda implied that  his father ignored him eventually and what else was Wylan going to do
- I don’t really know how he did chemistry while not being able to read the symbols and stuff, but that’s likely because I’ve never had to learn the way he did and also I really suck at Chemistry, but I refuse to believe that it invalidates his capabilities
Final Thoughts:
- They’re Traumatized Honors Students
- People might say that “it’s unrealistic that all the smart ones somehow ended up together” but again they’re traumatized honors students and those gravitate to each other
- Of course the smart ones ended up together, they’re the ones in those crazy situations precisely because they are prodigies. Nina wouldn’t have met Matthias if she wasn’t skilled and a spy, Kaz wouldn’t have known Inej if she hadn’t been skilled at silence (I can’t explain that one but uh ninjas did/do exist and it IS still a fantasy world). Kaz would have never been a leader of the Dregs in a position to find Jesper if he hadn’t been so determined to rise to the top, and Jesper wouldn’t have been in Ketterdam if his father hadn’t thought that Jesper was smart enough to get that chance.
- You know how those fringe revolutionary artists for new eras end up knowing all knowing each other and even hanging out? That’s them.
- I have decided there is a strong basis for Autistic Kaz, someone who is more studied than me should feel free to explore this.
- I read this book a few years ago, A Long Way Gone by Ishmael Beah. It’s about this guy’s experiences as a boy soldier and it’s a painful read so I’m not sure I recommend it as a casual read, but he talked about these young kids being able to actually make competent military strategies and handle warfare. It’s an extreme example of what I’m trying to explain when it comes to them being able to handle the brutality of their situation, but it’s true, essentially
- They are definitely serious, but if you think they’re not teenagers I just, disagree so much. They have moments of lighthearted banter, they make light of their situation, they try to support each other Nina covers it so well in her farewell at the end of Crooked Kingdom: The little rescues of laughing at each others jokes or eating together and just supporting each other, is not only a very human thing, but a very teenager thing. 
- Scary experiences that shape us happen all the time, and although for most it’s not the things that the Crows experience, picking each other up is a big part of why they do read as teenagers to me. I’ve seen kids be able to seriously converse about things like being questioned by the police, or being left to their own devices for days at a time, or the general impending doom they all feel, and it’s dark, but they’re also going to joke about silly puns 20 minutes later. 
- Teenagers aren’t exempt from terrifying maturity and competence
- Finally: Despite all I said, it’s a fantasy story and doesn’t have to be realistic
In the end, everyone can believe what they want to believe, but this is my case for my opinion.
TL;DR The Crows are all prodigies and a lot of their achievements and capabilities are based in reality and there are real people who actually achieved things like what they’ve done. Messed up prodigies gravitate to messed up prodigies, hence how they all end up together. When it comes to their mental state, most of them have been brought up their entire lives in situations that required for them to problem solve and keep their cool even when things are going to hell.
145 notes · View notes
its-miichan · 3 years
Text
TGCF criticisms
Spoilers and unpopular/critical opinions ahead! Beware! I tried to like this, I really did, but this novel really makes me frustrated. It clearly has so much potential, but so much of that potential was wasted on pandering romance and shallow caricatures of main characters. Overall 1.5-2 stars because it gets worse the more you think about it. CHARACTERS: 1. The main character, Xie Lian was wildly bland and boring. He is presented as the kindest, purest, most selfless person in the world, but really he was just a bland white lotus. With Xie Lian, his personality can be described in just a sentence or so, while the author's other two MC's (Wei Wuxian and Shen Qingqiu) are both charming, funny, and deep with their own motivations. Xie Lian just walks around in the story with no purpose and he says that he wants to help the common people, but he really hasn't done that! He's barely helped anyone at all, and those times he did help people are quickly followed by flirting with the ML and forgetting all about the people he was supposed to help. Honestly, in the past, Xie Lian was also the biggest jerk ever. He gave up his own friends and family's well being for his own sense of justice and was stubborn to a fault and refused to listen. What's worse is that none of these flaws are actually addressed, and the story just lets him roll with it and never actually calls him out on it. If you want to see all the reasons why he's a poorly written character, check out this reddit post: https://www. reddit. com/r/MXTX/comments/j2l9ye/why_xl_is_a_poorly_written_character_in_my_opinion/
2. The ML, Hua Cheng, is equally as bad. He is extremely shallow and such a static character, with his development in the present times being nonexistent and his development from the past to the present being wholly nonsensical. His personality is very cliche and his motivations and thoughts are left entirely up to the reader's imagination, which significantly reduces character depth. He could've been such a great character, a ghost king who rules over hell and is morally grey, but instead he is dumbed down to a Xie Lian fanboy. Everything about him not related to Xie Lian is thrown at us in a few paragraphs if at all, and what little motivation and thoughts about him we do get always fall flat. [Like apparently this guy saved him once, and he fell in love with him and became devoted to him for 800 years? Like people get saved all the time and we don't see them going 800 years and 3 deaths for a guy they've barely talked to] Also, he is wildly unlikable. Of course, this is purely subjective, but he is irritatingly smug and lords over literally everyone he meets. It doesn't help that he's an insufferable Mary Sue with an endless array of powers, intelligent as hell and knows literally everything, really good at painting, sculpting, woodworking, and on top of that the richest, most powerful, most handsome, and most charismatic man in the book. His biggest flaw is supposed to be his insecurity and inferiority complex, but that barely ever comes up and 90% of the time he is arrogant and smug. More information on why he's badly written here: https://www. reddit. com/r/MXTX/comments/iskkp5/why_hc_is_a_bad_character_in_my_opinion/
3. The side characters in my opinion are written far better, but obviously quite underdeveloped. They are all three dimensional and have their own thoughts, emotions, and feelings as well as a believable backstory, but so many of them are quickly offed to make way for the main couple, some of them not only not becoming better, but actually getting quite a whole lot worse. Qi Rong, who was supposed to be super strong demon that is one of the 4 great evils becomes a comedic relief gremlin who just shows up for some comedy and then leaves. Feng Xin and Mu Qing, the MC's childhood caretakers disappear for like 100 chapters after we're given their backstories and then once they reappear, they don't do anything either. Shi Qingxuan, who in my opinion is by far the best character in the book, has his arc left open with no ending at all, only to be forgotten about for 80+ chapters only to reappear completely the same with no character growth at all. All of this is because the main couple take up so much of the book, and the rest of the side characters and their character growth is sabotaged for the author's ego so that the main couple can look better and get more screen time.
4. I lost interest in the story pretty quickly due to the bland characters and their out of place romance and how unlikable they were. A lot of this novel was very surface level, and it's pretty on paper, but when you think about the characters a bit longer, the more bland and shallow they become.
PLOT: 1. The plot was... There was no plot. It was just a collection of monster of the day arcs that aimlessly meander about and then everything returns to the status quo once they return to Xie Lian's temple/home. Obviously books 4 and 5 were a lot more to my taste because the writing was a lot more concise and the pacing was less slow and pointless, as well as actually incorporating fantasy elements and shaking up the status quo. However, the other 3 books, especially books 1 and 2 had way too much fan service, pointless romance, and plot lines that don't go anywhere and don't contribute to the story.
2. The past plot line, or the flashbacks were pretty interesting, except for how b*tchy the MC was. Book 2 has a lot of important information and some action, but a lot of it was boring fluff that didn't really contribute to the story other than introducing the villain and showing how XL and HC met. The rest, we're literally told already and there's no new information. Book 4 was supposed to be suffering heavy, and I agree that the character development was alright, but it was too brooding and oppressive. In the end, I just stopped feeling bad for Xie Lian because of how bad the story was trying to make you feel for him. I was not invested in him, and although he was significantly more deep in this book than in the other 4, the bad logic is still there. [you wanna kill people but then someone gives you a bamboo hat and you're all sunshine and rainbows again?] The suffering is excessive in my opinion, and although it's supposed to provide contrast to the romance, it just feels done in poor taste. seriously, 20 chapters straight of suffering is not necessary, and the pacing and tone suffers because of this. The flashbacks really don't contribute too much to XL or HC's character development, but is just there to be angsty and cryp*rn.
3. The final battle was the most unbelievable thing I've ever read. All the gods got together and the first part seemed pretty epic as we got to see all the side characters finally showcase their powers.... Until the MC and ML show up. The MC and ML show up, and instantly the background extras—excuse me I mean side characters, go back into hibernation as the main couple show off how cool and powerful they are. And then we get to the final confrontation, which has our MC, ML, and MC's two friends face off against literally the most powerful being in the freaking universe. I thought it would be a tense fight scene with lots of close calls, but I was so disappointed. Instead the ML is so OP that he breaks the spells binding MC's powers, and MC becomes so overpowered and slams the big boss into the wall with the power of love while his two friends just stand there doing nothing.
4. A lot of what happens in the flashback is directly Xie Lian's fault, but the book never seems to register it? I won't go into detail on this point since it's already covered in the first Reddit thread, but basically because of XL's s*upidity and refusal to listen to anyone else, the people around him suffer.
WRITING: 1. The writing wasn't great. It was very choppy and as I said previously, very monotonous and monster-of-the-day. Yes there were great scenes which got to me, but most of it was really boring and descriptions and dialogue dragged on and on with no end, and with the bland MC, it wasn't even interesting such as the dialogue in MDZS was. Side arcs were introduced with no warning and ended with no warning, leaving the reader wondering "Why was that even there in the first place if it was just going to be forgotten about?"
2. The water demon/wind god arc. The opening and most of the middle of this arc was extremely good, the logic and mystery was written well, and Shi Qingxuan's (the wind god) antics were funny. But after the big reveal and the tense climax, the story just... stops. Like it's literally forgotten about. [The MC gets dragged out by his all powerful lover, they romance some more, and forget all about Shi Qingxuan who is literally left in the hands of the second or third most powerful demon ever who is also his mortal enemy]
3. The incessant flirting really got on my nerves. The tension and tone of the entire story got completely ruined because of the MC and ML flirting and the MC blushing and giggling while the ML teases him and everyone else is literally fighting for their lives. This felt very fan-service like, and it felt like the author stopped trying and just fed us dog food after an emotionally taxing arc so that she wouldn't have to close out the arc properly, completely destroying the tone. Speaking of the tone, the tone whiplash was just... wow. You're fed fluff and romance during or after a high tensity and highly emotional scene with no connection at all, and you're just supposed to accept it instead of wondering what's happening to the characters you actually care about.
4. Romance and side arcs quite disconnected from the story. Quite frankly, most of this book is just romance with the plot and characters put in second place because "lOOk hOw CuTe the COuPLe iS!" You could literally take out all the side arcs and the story would literally be no different. The romance overtakes the entire plot and becomes the main point of the story. With her other two books, the romance is like the icing on the cake. With this book, the icing overtakes the cake and becomes the cake.
5. Perhaps one of the biggest reasons I was uninterested through most of the book was due to the lack of tension and suspense. The flashbacks were better in the sense that Xie Lian was helpless and couldn't figure anything out, which was why he was just as likely to get hurt as anyone, making the stakes significantly higher. But in the present, with the existence of Hua Cheng, that tension is completely gone. This is because HC knows basically all there is to know, and what he doesn't know he can figure out in seconds. Additionally, he is super powerful to the point that anything that can harm XL can be one shot K.O'ed by him. At this point the conflict becomes trivial to the point where I'm just asking "why are we solving this mystery anyways when HC can just blast it into oblivion?"
6. The fact that HC does the bare minimum in arcs frustrates me. If you're going to include a character with powers that will basically deem any threat against them null, then actually use them at least! HC's apathy does not feel like a coherent part of his character, but an excuse for MXTX to drag out plot lines and make things unnecessarily long and winded. Additionally, his apathy is contradictory. On one hand, he is super overprotective of XL and wants to make sure he won't get hurt a single bit, but on the other hand, he has this advanced ideology of the 21st century that he believes XL is capable so won't constrain him as much. If anything, they should start out with HC as this overprotective follower and have a dysfunctional relationship, and end up with XL teaching HC that he is able to do things and doesn't mind doing them, and that HC can live a life outside of him as well. That would've introduced some narrative stakes and romantic tension, but no, MXTX just had to make these characters perfect in every way.
ROMANCE: 1. The logic is so flawed here. The reason that HC started loving XL is literally because Xie Lian saved him once as a child and therefore he will devote his entire life to XL, not caring about literally anything else. The reason that XL started loving HC is even more so. The thing is someone like say Shi Qingxuan has done every bit as much for XL as HC has, but we don't see XL fall in love with SQX, do we? HC literally listens to him talk and XL falls in love with him, and although it does make sense due to XL being lonely for 800 years, how low the bar is set really bothers me.
2. The constant blue-balling was annoying. At some point, the ignorant MC became annoying and self indulgent instead of cute, and having it be drawn out over nearly 200 chapters makes it even worse. The MC is supposed to be super intelligent, but he literally misses all of the super obvious hints the ML drops at him, which is so weird.
3. It felt like MXTX (the author) went overboard on the romance here. Like she tried way too hard to the point where it was obvious she wanted to make this "the most romantic CP ever". The aesthetics went so overboard with butterflies and flowers as romantic themes, thousands of lanterns, the red string of fate (which didn't even do anything in the actual story), poetry, etc.
4. The romance could almost be described as kind of creepy. Like the ML obsesses over the MC for 800 years, isolating himself from the world and not taking any side of the story besides MC's is supposed to be romantic, but it really isn't. The ML carves thousands of statues of the MC, which is sweet in a way, but also really, really creepy. To quote someone from NovelUpdates who put it 100x better than I could: " They don't feel like equal lovers, HC obviously worships XL to an unbelievably amazing degree while XL only knew he existed from only a while ago (Is this obsession? Stalker-ish? I know his stalker-ish tendencies are usually played for laughs, but realistically?) HC very very very rarely calls XL by his given name but with GeGe or CrownPrince, dude has a name you know. I know you feel lower than XL, but seriously man, the guy's your life partner. HC would destroy the world if XL said to. He'd probably try to talk to XL first, confirm things, but if at the end XL really does want it, HC would do it. He lives for XL, he has no other reason to do something aside for XL. No reason to say NO for himself. They're not equals in which one wanna do something bad, the other would stop him because they have their own convictions. You can't tell me one only lives for one person's sake, will do anything for that guy, and has no attachments in the world aside from that guy, is a healthy person. It may seem romantic, but when you actually think about it, it becomes uncomfortable."
5. The romance was really cheesy. There were some powerful moments, but it was mostly flirting and "he fell on top of me" or "he needs mouth to mouth". Most of it was just the ML flirting with the MC, which you may like if you like this kind of stuff, but I really didn't enjoy it. Overall, I was desperate to love this novel, but I couldn't because of the shallow characters, unlikable main pair, and the constant abandonment of great plot lines in favor of the shallow romance. It felt like MXTX was constantly trying to one-up MDZS in angst, drama, and romance, but at the same time it felt like she didn't know what to do with the characters and world, and therefore fed us fan service and took the easy way out. This review is purely subjective, and if you want to read this go ahead, but I'll be seeing myself out.
57 notes · View notes
bonjour-rainycity · 3 years
Text
Imagine: Being friends with Alice and asking Carlisle for help on your chemistry homework
Characters: Cullen family, female reader
Rating: G
Word count: 2120
Warnings: None
Request by anon: Wait, omg I’m so happy I found a blog that’s updated recently and I’m definitely gonna ✨stalk✨ your blog and read all your writing after hw but if you’re still doing requests, I thought of something that I would just love to see written. And this could be short or something, y’know? It can be whatever you want it to be, but what if the reader is somewhat friends with the Cullens? Reader (maybe like 20 years old?) is invited to their house one weekend after bumping into Alice and becoming friends and from passing conversation, reader knows that Carlisle is a doctor so she asks him if he could help her with her organic chemistry hw cause she’s studying to be a med student? 
A/n Wow I’m so sorry this took me so long! It’s such a cute request and I loved writing it! Thanks for sending it in and for being patient with me :)
Shoot.
Mentally, I groan, stopping my progress towards my car.
I still have chem homework.
I fiddle with the keys in my hand, contemplating. You could go home…lay in bed…maybe with a pint of ice cream…and pass out in a stress and sugar-induced coma.
Oh, how tempting.
But then I remind myself of why I’m putting myself through the hell that is a STEM degree, and turn on my heel, heading back to campus. I know I won’t get any work done if I go home, so the library it is! Thank goodness it’s open twenty-four hours, because it’s creeping up to eleven and I don’t have the heart to return to one of the academic buildings.
Seeing as it’s Friday night, the library isn’t crowded. Still, I push past all the tables on the first floor and head up to my favorite spot on the second. Settling in at my favorite partially secluded table, I pull out my organic chemistry textbook, pop in my earbuds, and get to work.
{***}
A small, pale hand skims over the table near my book, and I look up with a start.
Alice Cullen stands by my desk, clutching a set of books that look too heavy for her thin arms, but she seems to be managing fine. She and I met during the first week of classes, and have been tentative friends ever since. We don’t see much of each other, given our varying degree programs, but she always greets me with a friendly smile and an offer to join her to study. I pull out my headphones, and give her a tired smile. “Hey, how’s it going?”
“Good!” She smiles excitedly, somehow keeping her energy levels at—I check the time on my phone—1:12 am! “Have you been here for long?”
I shrug, feeling the weight of the late hour on my shoulders. “Since around eleven. I was going home but then I forgot I have o-chem homework. I don’t think it should be taking me this long, but I’m struggling. Thankfully only half of it is due in the morning. The rest isn’t due until after the weekend.”
Alice peers over to look at my book and the problems I work through in my notebook. “Oh, those do look hard. But you know, my dad is a doctor, and he probably knows this stuff like the back of his hand. He’d be more than happy to help you.”
I blanch. An invitation to the Cullen’s house? And free help on o-chem homework?
But then I remember my manners. “Oh, thank you, but I couldn’t—”
“Please,” she squeaks, balancing her books in one arm and using the other to retrieve her phone. “We’d be happy to have you over! I’ll let my family know. Does tomorrow around lunchtime work?”
“Uh,” I swallow, not sure I’m believing my ears. “That works great, thank you! I can bring the food?”
She shakes her head, waving off the offer. “Don’t worry about it—Mom loves to cook and will be excited to really use the kitchen. Oh! And there’s this new series my sisters and I have been dying to watch. It’s called Broadchurch. Have you heard of it? Maybe we can start it and see if it’s any good!”
I nod dumbly, too tired and relieved for the help to refuse again. “That sounds fun! Thank you.”
“Of course,” she smiles, shrugging like it’s nothing. “What are friends for?”
My smile softens. She considers us friends. “Do you want to walk out together? It’s pretty late.”
She beams and waits while I collect my stuff.
{***}
I pull up to the front of the massive house.
Alice is waiting for me on the porch. She waves excitedly, and I notice her fiancé standing near the door, looking uncomfortable. I stifle a chuckle. It’s well-known that Jasper, introvert in every sense of the word, fell hard for Alice who is the embodiment of an extravert. I wave, grabbing my backpack and stepping out of the car.
“Welcome,” Alice practically shouts. Jasper gives me a polite nod.
I smile at the two of them, calling out my hello’s and climbing the stairs to the porch. The second Jasper opens the door, I’m greeted by the warm smile of Esme Cullen.
“Hello, Y/n, welcome to our home! We are so happy to have you here.” She extends a warm smile, one I can’t help but return immediately.
Alice leads us straight to the living room, where two of her adoptive siblings, Emmett and Rosalie, lounge. Rosalie sketches something I can’t see, and Emmett yells loudly at the TV, losing at a video game.
“Beat it, Emmett,” Alice chirps, dancing over and taking the controller from his hands. “We’re going to watch Broadchurch.”
Putting his frustration at the game aside, Emmett grins, standing and ruffling Alice’s hair. “Alright, I was getting my ass kicked anyway. Hey, Y/n, good to see you again.”
I return his greeting, familiar with Emmett from an intro to theatre class we had together last semester. The image of his interpretation of Juliet for our final project comes to mind, and I have to stifle a laugh. Emmett goes to leave the room, pulling Jasper with him.
“Send Bella down, would you,” Alice calls after them, already settling on the couch. “Rose, you know Y/n, right?”
Rosalie looks up from her sketching. She smiles briefly at me, then returns to her task. I sit awkwardly next to Alice, waiting for Bella so we can start the show.
“There aren’t many women in STEM.”
My head shoots up, wide eyes turning in Rosalie’s direction. She doesn’t look up from her work, but I know she’s addressing me—Alice is studying fashion merchandising and design.
“Y-yeah,” I stammer. Alice’s older sister is just so intimidating. Well-spoken, obviously intelligent, tall, prettier than anyone I’ve ever met, and top of her law class. She’s not exactly warm either, like her mother or sister—even now, there’s a cold bite to her tone. But the edges of her lips quirk up, and I can tell she’s being nice.
“Don’t let the guys push you around. What you’re doing is important, and you’re probably smarter than them. What do you want to do with your degree?”
The answer, always on my heart and mind, is automatic. “I want to be a doctor. So, med school is next.”
She nods once. “Good.”
And apparently that’s the end of our conversation.
I try to hide my smile by rummaging around in my backpack for my water bottle. It’s nice to feel supported.
Bella comes gliding down the stairs and twists into the living room, folding herself easily onto the love seat. She greets me, and then tosses me the throw over the back of her couch. Alice nods as if forgetting something, then reaches into a basket hidden between our couch and Rosalie’s chair and produces three more blankets, throwing two to her sisters and keeping one for herself. She shoots me a grin as each of us, even the serious Rosalie, snuggles up.
Alice stands, turning off the lights and then wraps back in her blanket and scoots near me on the couch. “I hope this is good!” With a grin, she opens Netflix and plays the first episode.
{***}
Broadchurch does not disappoint. Before I know it, we’re halfway through the second episode, eyes glued to the screen. Bella, who was definitely reading a book under her blanket at the start, has put it to the side, leaning forward and watching the show intently.
The front door creaks, then clicks closed, and Alice smiles, pressing pause on the remote. “Dad’s home.”
Before long, the famed local doctor comes in to say hi to the girls and to greet me. He’s just as welcoming as his wife!
“Alice told me you are having trouble with some organic chemistry homework?”
I nod, hoping it’s not too much to ask for his help. “I got a good start on some of the problems last night, but I keep messing up. I’m not really sure where I’m going wrong—there’s no answer key so I can’t work backwards through the problems.”
He nods, casually resting his hands in the pocket of his slacks. “I remember o-chem homework quite well.” He grins conspiratorially. “It is the bane of many a med student’s existence. Why don’t you girls finish up your episode and then join Esme and me in the kitchen for lunch? I can take a look at your homework if you like.”
Relief washes over me. “That would be great, thank you so much.”
He smiles warmly. “Of course. Now, if you all will excuse me….” With a twinkle in his eye, he leaves us to rejoin his wife.
This family is so nice! I wonder why they get so much flack at school?
Alice resumes the episode, and soon my musings are washed away as I try to piece together the mystery of the murder before the detectives can.
{***}
Esme is a wonderful cook. Carlisle sings her praises but doesn’t fix a plate for himself, saying he ate plenty as she was cooking. We all sit down at the table, though I’m the only one who eats in earnest — Bella claims to be filled up on snacks, Rose says she’s on a diet, and Alice takes a small helping for herself, every now and then poking the chicken in mild disgust. I don’t see what the problem is, the food is fantastic!
Carlisle sits down next to me, and I slide my textbook and notebook in his direction. He smiles, looking almost nostalgic. “I remember these. The good news is, as a doctor, you won’t be doing much of this in day-to-day life, if at all. But it is important for some courses you will take in medical school, so it’s best to master the concepts now. See, on number nineteen, you start the problem correctly, but get lost once you have to balance the equation to continue. Instead of waiting until the middle to balance, I would do that first, that way, you have a solid base before moving on to solve the rest of the problem.”
I nod, peering over at the paper intently. I hadn’t tried that strategy before.
Carlisle takes out a pen, and begins scratching out an equation. Then, he grins, shaking his head, and crosses it out, starting again in much neater handwriting. “Forgive my penmanship. Though, if you decide to continue and become a practicing doctor, your handwriting will soon be indecipherable, too.”
From across the table, Rosalie snorts, and I can’t help but laugh along. It seems almost a rite of passage for a doctor to have horrendous handwriting.
In clearer script, Carlisle continues working out the problem, then slides the paper over for me to see. He explains what he did at each step, and I nod along, trying to commit as much of it to memory as possible. He works out another problem in the same way, then asks me to try on my own. I smile tentatively as I go, hesitant to accept that I actually know how to do the problem now.
But I do.
It takes concentration to work through the steps, but I can, which is a far cry from where I was last night. Carlisle waves off my thanks, saying I just needed to try a different approach, but I had it within me all along. I bring up another section I had issues with—structures of the elements—and Carlisle teaches me a better strategy for memorizing a few and then figuring out the rest. By the time Esme and Bella have put the food away, my homework is done—in a fourth of the time it would have taken me struggling through it on my own.
“Seriously, Dr. Cullen, thank you so much.”
He smiles pleasantly, handing me back my textbook. “Of course. If you need help again, just come on over. I know the girls love having the company, and my wife and I enjoyed the opportunity to meet you as well.”
Esme appears behind her husband, laying her hands affectionately on his shoulders. “Absolutely, Y/n. Please come over any time.”
I pack up my homework and thank them once again for lunch and for the help. Alice darts to my side, grinning. “Ready to finish the episode?”
I feel so much lighter now that my homework is done, and I don’t feel guilty at all for spending time with my new friends. In fact, I may even indulge in that ice cream when I get home.
“Absolutely.”
A/n Thanks for reading! If you have a moment, here’s the link to my masterlist :)
144 notes · View notes