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youremyheaven · 2 months

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Rahu & Ketu: Abuse & Addiction

TW: drug overdose, death, suicide, abuse, childhood abuse

Nodal influence can be very destabilising and intoxicating. They're opposites but as they say the extremes of anything is a meeting point for it's opposite, so Rahu & Ketu share many similarities.

Rahu & Ketu are both shadow planets, Rahu is the head whereas Ketu is the tail. This in itself reveals much about the nature of the two. Rahu is over immersed in the world whereas Ketu is completely cut off from it.

When I say Rahu is over immersed/over stimulated, I don't mean they're profoundly connected to reality, I mean the opposite, they're deeply immersed in Maya/illusion that they often have no sense of reality. Rahu is the head, imagine if you lived in your head all the time? You'd be in your own la la land, disconnected from what is actually happening around you. This is Rahu energy. Without your body, you cannot use your senses, you cannot fully feel alive or experience reality. Rahu being the head means you're cut off from what is "real". You only live in your head and what happens in your head is very subjective and completely illusory.

They are so deeply immersed in an illusory world. This can manifest as substance addiction, video gaming, fame, material success, internet addiction, overly obsessed with "binging" content, maladaptive daydreaming etc, any experience that disconnects you from what is "real" and immerses you in something that feels very real but isn't real. Both Rahu and Ketu people suffer from addiction, Claire had mentioned that Nodal influence can make someone prone to addiction but why Rahu and Ketu are addicted tend to be very different. Rahu is overstimulated, they always need more of everything. There are people who spend 10 hours a day just watching YouTube videos or IG reels or whatever, that's because they need that much stimulation, since they live in their heads. Their minds need that kind of fodder to thrive off of. Once you start using any kind of substance, your brain builds a tolerance for it and you have to start using higher and higher doses to get the same high. When a Rahu native accumulates wealth, they start indulging in it but nothing is ever enough. They never feel "full", they don't have that fuse in their brain that flares up and says "this is enough". Basically they never know when to stop, they just keep going and going and going with anything they immerse themselves in. People play video games for 3-4 days straight without leaving their game set up. They don't ever feel satisfied. This is scary because "feeling full" is our brain's way of asking us to stop. Without that mechanism, we would overindulge and overdo everything which is what these natives do.

This is also why relationships are so tricky for Nodal people. They give too much and immerse themselves to the point where it's detrimental to the relationship. You either feel like you're losing part of yourself to it or the other person feels like you're consuming their energy too much (which makes them feel drained). Moderation does not exist for Nodal people either they're completely detached or they're completely obsessed.

Its similar to Jupiter energy in the sense that Jupiter is also very expansive and has the ability to immerse itself in everything and give so much but Jupiter has other principles that firmly ground it in reality as it is not a shadow planet like Rahu. It is not suspended in an illusion, Jupiter natives give so much or do so much because they have the internal space to do so, not out of a tendency to immerse themselves in Maya/illusion. Jupiter is the opposite, they see through Maya and find it hard to consciously part take in it.

Taylor Swift- Ardra Moon

She works harder than anybody in the biz. Her concerts are like 3 hours long and she does like 40-50 shows on average. She's ALWAYS doing THE most. She releases a new album every 2 years or so, has other projects etc this is a positive manifestation of Rahu energy because it allows you to be deeply immersed in your craft and your world but it also means you live in a bubble and you are cut off from "real life".

Ketu is the tail, it is cut off from reality and feels profoundly disconnected to reality. It is hard for these natives to feel like they relate to anything. This is why Ketuvians struggle with addiction. They use substances because they want to feel something, want to feel tethered, want to feel connected. They have to use higher doses because it helps them feel heightened emotions when they usually don't feel anything at all.

Ketu is connected to spirituality because natives who feel disconnected from the real world to this extent find it easier to immerse themselves in the occult and in esoterica. It is more abstract and requires you to think non-logically, i.e, experientially, but this is something Ketuvians have a hard time with, they themselves feel very "abstract" or like they aren't real or don't exist, so while they're intrinsically drawn to the esoteric, they feel untethered/ungrounded by immersing themselves in it too much. They need something they can cling to, they need something solid that they can attach themselves to.

All Rahuvian nakshatras belong to the Shudra caste, specifically the Butcher caste, this is very interesting because Shudra is the lowest caste (Mleccha is "outcaste" which means it exists outside the system entirely), to be Rahuvian means to operate on the lowest level. Butchers have to slaughter meat to make a living, that is unpleasant and brutal work, and only if they are disconnected from it can they keep doing it. They cannot be too focused on what they actually do because then it will be hard for them to do their tasks. They're not repulsed by it because they're disconnected from it.

2/3 Ketuvian naks are also Shudra caste whereas Ashwini is the only Ketu nak that is upper caste as it is a Vaishya nak.

(table by me hehe)

Rahuvian naks are found in all 3 ganas (Swati is deva gana, Ardra is manushya gana, Shatabhisha is rakshasa gana)

2/3 Ketuvian naks are Rakshasa gana (Mula, Magha) with only Ashwini being a Deva gana nak

I feel like Ketuvians are always made to feel like the bad guy / people villainize them a lot. They're the "ugly ducklings" who have to "win" approval as they're never accepted for who they are.

Rahu needs to immerse itself in something because its sensory perception is limited and they need to really indulge to grasp what is "real". Its very common for people with heavy Rahuvian or Rahu in a malefic placement to experience hallucinations or feel like their grip on reality is very thin.

Ketu has nothing perceive with at all. Its like being completely lost in the shadows or the dark. There's no perception taking place at all, it makes the natives inwardly drawn because its truly hard for them to absorb from their surroundings unlike Rahu which absorbs easily and fully. Rahu is over immersed whereas Ketu lacks immersion at all.

Lets look at the yoni animals of Rahu & Ketu naks respectively

Rahu: Ardra -dog yoni, Shatabhisha- horse yoni, Swati-buffalo yoni

Ketu: Magha-rat yoni, Mula- dog yoni, Ashwini-horse yoni

one common theme is that all these animals are abused, mistreated and exploited

(rats are the go to animal for lab testing, dogs are valued for their loyalty and are at the mercy of their owners, horses are made to endure so much labour, buffalos are farm animals)

all of these animals are also associated with dirt/filth in some way or another which is perhaps why people with Nodal influence often have a dishevelled appearance. They're bad at taking care of themselves.

Both horse yoni & dog yoni are divided among Rahu & Ketu naks whereas the yoni consort for Swati is Hasta (Moon ruled) and Magha is Purvaphalguni (Venus ruled).

Horses are very strong but very fragile animals. They start walking almost immediately after birth, they sleep standing up but they require a lot of attention and care as their health tends to be very fragile. Even though horses are associated with working hard, its not exactly innately part of their nature, it's just that they've been domesticated into being that way. It represents a very powerful active energy, as horses can be highly temperamental and unpredictable.

Dog yoni on the other hand, makes a person very needy and eager to please others. Dogs depend on the affection of their owners and without it they feel unhappy. Both these nakshatras have obsessive tendencies and a people pleasing nature. They're also two nakshatras who endure abuse the most.

I've noticed that a lot of people tend to have both nodes in their chart and I wonder what its like to house such contradictions. On one hand you're extremely involved, on the other, you're supremely detached.

The entertainment industry is one where people with Nodal influence really thrive but also often, self-destruct themselves. Its immensely hard to balance these energies since Rahu heightens whatever is in it, the way Jupiter expands whatever it touches. Both planets make you feel manic but in different ways.

Addiction is the result of an overactive nervous system and a coping mechanism. Ketu feels cut off from society/life/the world so in order to feel connected, it over indulges. Rahu needs something that will help them fully lose themselves, idk if I'm explaining it properly but you know how the best movies you've watched are the ones where you feel like you were in them experiencing those things with the characters? Its like that

There is an unhappy pattern of Rahu & Ketu influenced people being abused, I have especially noted this among child actors but also others.

Taylor Momsen- Swati Moon

Her parents signed her up with Ford Modeling when she was just 2 years old. "No 2-year-old wants to be working, but I had no choice. My whole life, I was in and out of school. I didn't have friends. I was working constantly and I didn't have a real life."

This theme of not experiencing "real life" or reality is very prominent in the lives of Rahuvian and Ketuvian people. It can be interpreted in many ways according to the context but there is always a sense of being deprived of what was "normal" or "real" as a result of which these natives had to live in their imagination or indulge in other things.

Like the child star who worked their whole life playing other people (acting is very Rahuvian) or the loner kid who spends all their time immersed in movies or video games because that feels more "real" to them.

Fame is also an inherently Rahuvian experience bc it's an illusion & a prison.

Judy Garland- Ardra Rising, Mula Moon

She was emotionally abused and controlled by her mother who got her addicted to drugs by the time she was a teenager. She was also sexually abused by the studio executives she worked with. Judy had a very tough life.

Aaron Carter, Ardra Moon, Mula Rising

Aaron Carter claimed that as a teen musician, his family spent $500 million of his money on 15 houses and 30 cars. He claimed that when his parents sold the houses, he didn't get a cut of the profits. He also alleged that his dad shot a .44 magnum near his ear — which resulted in him going 70% deaf in one ear — to force him into signing a $256,000 check.

Being heavily tattooed (more examples at the end of this post) is also a very Nodal thing to do.

He unfortunately passed away in 2022 from an accidental drug overdose. This is also a very unfortunate pattern among Nodal celebrities.

Macaulay Culkin- Shatabhisha Moon, Magha Sun & Mercury

Macaulay Culkin's father Kit managed him during his childhood career. Macaulay has shared that his father was controlling and had him on a very busy filming schedule in the early '90s. He added his father made him stay up every night to study the lines he would have to say the next day. Macaulay asserted that his father was "such a crazy person" that he forced him to do SNL without cue cards when he hosted the show at 11 years old. Macaulay has explained that he felt his father was jealous of him because “everything he tried to do in his life I excelled at before I was 10 years old.”When Macaulay stopped acting after his 1994 movie Richie Rich, he told his parents, “I’m done, guys — hope you all made your money because there is no more coming from me.”His parents were never married and after he stopped acting, his mother filed for custody. Macaulay ended up taking his parents to court to stop them from controlling his $17 million in earnings. Since then, he and his father have been estranged.

I feel like the "child star gone wild" is a trope meant specifically for Nodal people

Keke Palmer, Magha Sun & Mercury, Mula Moon

Palmer shared on IG:

"Due to traveling and scheduling both of my parents had to stop working to support my career and be present for my three siblings, leaving me with the financial responsibility around age 12. Which I took great pride in because I knew what it would do for generations to come and a huge blessing that I could even help out. However it caused me a lot of pain because I essentially had to abandon my childhood feelings and desires, becoming like a parentalized child, which is something some of you can probably relate to in your own way. This was something that I have had to continuously work through because I am grateful but often feel like.. I missed “IT”. Life can be such a tragic comedy because how funny is it.. that now becoming an actual parent, and the responsibility I’ve always carried being more valid now than ever, has in fact given me the chance to feel what it’s like to be a kid again, I get a chance to explore a lot of the things I missed out on with my son, His freedom is like, the most priceless gift to me. He is already teaching me so much, it’s like he awakened the little me inside that I thought was long gone."

Ketu dominance = being your own parent, being neglected by your family or having to be your parent's parent.

Michael Jackson, Magha Sun & Mercury, Shatabhisha Rising

From a young age Jackson was physically and mentally abused by his father, enduring incessant rehearsals, whippings and name-calling. Jackson's abuse as a child affected him throughout his grown life. reading about the lives of the Jackson siblings and how severely they were all abused is very perspective altering and sad

Mary Kate & Ashley Olsen, Magha Moon, Ashlesha Rising (inc the ashlesha placement bc its another nak often subject to control and abuse)

“With what we were doing in business when we were younger, I don’t think it ever felt like we were actresses,” Mary-Kate “Because we spend so much more of our time not in front of the cameras, building a brand. Ashley agreed, saying: “I always looked at myself, even as a kid, as a business woman.” Mary-Kate said she wouldn't wish her childhood on anyone, and said she felt like a "monkey performer."

they quit acting in the mid 2000s and rarely make public appearances and god only knows what they endured in the business bc neither of them will talk about it.

Sarah Michelle Geller, Ashwini Sun conjunct Ketu, Shatabhisha Moon

Sarah herself enjoyed the path she'd ended up on, she has rules in place for her own daughter. Recalling the "industry abuses" she experienced as a teenager in Hollywood, she said she hoped she'd "set up a safety net for these actors that I didn't have," but that she and husband Freddie Prinze Jr. have "rules in place" that mean daughter Charlotte "can't be in front of a camera until she graduates high school."

Kylie Jenner, Swati Moon

Kylie started appearing on her family's reality show when she was 10

In 2016, she told her sister Kim in an episode of the show: "I feel like I've had anxiety for too long. I feel too much, I care too much, I read too much. Some people are born for this life and some people aren’t. I just know I’m not supposed to be famous.” in an old IG post she said: "I’m proud of myself, my heart, and my strength. Growing up in the light with a million eyes on you just isn’t normal. I’ve lost friends along the way and I’ve lost myself too sometimes. My first tattoo was 'sanity' to remind myself everyday to keep it. I’ve struggled with anxiety my whole young adult life." "I know I don't want to be famous forever. There's gonna be a time where I feel comfortable, I'm at a good place in my life, and I just stop."

Natalie Wood, Ashwini Moon

The late Natalie Wood was forced into acting by her mother, Maria, who missed her chance to become a performer and instead focussed her efforts on pushing her daughters to stardom.

While young Natalie had a natural talent for performing, it seemed that her reason for going to movie sets was more to please her mother than to quench any desire of her own.

Bella Thorne, Mula Moon

"I was sexually abused and physically growing up from the day I can remember till I was 14. When I finally had the courage to lock my door at night and sit by it. All damn night." She has also stated that she only started acting as a child to support her family.

Drew Barrymore, Shatabhisha Sun

Drew's mother took her to clubs and allowed her access to drugs and alcohol, ultimately leading to her institutionalization at the age of 13, and emancipating herself at 14. Drew described fame at such a young age as "a recipe for disaster."

Edith Piaf, Mula Sun & Mercury, Magha Mars

Born in Paris practically on the streets, she struggled from day one, the daughter of street performers. The mother, a singer, eventually abandoned both Edith and her father for a solo career. Piaf spent her youth entertaining passers-by, receiving little formal education in the process. She often accompanied her father's acrobat street act with her singing and at various times was forced to live with various relatives, in alleys or in cheap hotels. An aborted love affair left her with a baby girl at age 17, but little Marcelle died of meningitis at 2 years old. Devastated, Piaf returned to the streets she knew, now performing solo. Her fortunes finally changed when an impresario, Louis Leplee, mesmerized by what he heard, offered the starving but talented urchin a contract. He alone was responsible for taking her off the streets at age 20 and changing her name from Edith Gassion to "La Mome Piaf" (or "Kid Sparrow"). Piaf grew in status entertaining in elegant cafés and cabarets and became a singing sensation amid the chic French society with her throbbing vocals and raw, emotional power. From 1936, Piaf recorded many albums and eventually became one of the highest paid stars in the world.

Later in life she became an addict and died in poverty at the age of 47.

Brittany Murphy, Swati Moon & Venus

she was a child star who was managed by her controlling mom. she battled with eating disorders and drug addiction. rip britt.

Justin Bieber, Shatabhisha Sun conjunct Saturn

Justin shot to fame at a very young age and was severely exploited by his management/everybody around him

Now here are some heavily tatted celebs and their placements

L to R

Rihanna- Shatabhisha Sun

Paris Jackson- Ardra Moon

Cheryl Cole- Ardra Sun & Mars, Shatabhisha Moon

Demi Lovato- Magha Sun

Jungkook- Magha Moon, Mula Rising

Ruby Rose- Swati Rising

Machine Gun Kelly- Ashwini Sun

The 27 club refers to a phenomenon where several musicians have died by age 27, many from an overdose. Unfortunately many of them have Nodal influence.

Brian Jones- Shatabhisha Sun

Jimi Hendrix- Mula Rising

Amy Winehouse- Mula Moon

Kurt Cobain- Shatabhisha Sun, Ardra Moon,

Janis Joplin- Ardra Moon, Mula Mars, Asc conjunct Ketu (in Dhanishta)

Jim Morrison- Ketu conjunct Rising (in Shravana)

several other celebrities who have died from overdoses also tend to have prominent Nodal influence

John Belushi- Mula Rising

Phillip Seymour Hoffman- Mercury in Ardra 2h, Mars conjunct Ketu in Swati

Prince- Shatabhisha Moon, Ketu in Ashwini

Whitney Houston- Shatabhisha Rising

River Phoenix- Magha Sun conjunct Ketu, Swati Ascendant conjunct Jupiter

Elvis Presley- Shatabhisha Moon

Margaux Hemingway- Ashwini Rising

Nodal planets are shadow planets and it can be very difficult for these natives to manage this energy as it is energy without a source, Rahu & Ketu don't have physical form or existence, that is a lot of uncontrolled energy to possess within yourself. Many people turn to spirituality and other esoteric sources and good Rahu & Ketu influence is vital and necessary to study or gain access to gnosis, study astrology or other occult matters but when this energy is imbalanced in their chart, these natives are more prone to self-destruction than any other planetary dominance simply because the unbridled energy is impossible to contain and requires some kind of coping mechanism. I have dated several Nodal men and they all dealt with varying degrees of addiction to varying substances and they all spoke about "wanting to feel more real" or how "nothing feels solid". I will try to focus on the positive manifestations of the Nodes on a future post.

thanks for reading<333

#astrology notes #astrology observations #vedic astro notes #nakshatras #astrology #astroblr #astro notes #astro observations #vedic astrology #sidereal astrology #jyotish #rahu #ketu #ashwini #shatabhisha #mula #magha #swati #ardra

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averseunhinged · 4 months

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💌 send this to the twelve nicest people you know or who seem to have a good heart and if you get five back you must be pretty awesome. 💌 :)

thanks, gabby! you're lovely! idk if you like rockstar aus, but i received this as a divine transmission in my bed last night.

Her teen years spent playing the shrewish, older sister on some Disney Channel nightmare and later a starring turn in, hand to god, Vampires of Venice Beach, an inexplicable mega-hit at the box office, that included an original ballad by Caroline herself on the soundtrack. Critics weren't particularly kind to it, but it was everywhere you turned for over a year. The critics were both correct and incorrect. The melody was banal and the instrumentation derivative, but there was something to the lyrics and more than something to Caroline's voice. The song netted her first Grammy nomination.

It was by no means her last.

Which is to say, he's not sure why he's being escorted by security into an old mansion in the Hills. He does just fine these days with scores and commercial background music and thirty second hooks for social media, but he's not famous for it. He'd barely been famous before The Originals had flamed out spectacularly. He and Elijah are far better off without differing opinions on creative directions (prog rock, Elijah, honestly?) and an unfortunate predilection for falling for the same woman at the same time. The fallout from the Petrova twins had been explosive and there hadn't been any option but to break up the band at that point. His fifteen minutes certainly aren't anything to recommend him to one of the most successful recording artists of the 21st century.

He's shown into a beautifully restored and tastefully appointed room that is mostly end to end glass, looking out over both an outdoor space and a lot of the city in the valley below, blurring in the golden sodium light of late afternoon. The man who'd taken charge of Klaus at the entrance to the the house hasn't bothered introducing himself with the sort of smarmy assuredness Rebekah laps up, always to her detriment, gestures disinterestedly to a bank of comfortable seating where someone has obviously been working all day. There are notebooks, binders, an assortment of pens and highlighters, a MacBook, and two tablets on the coffee table. Two guitars sit in stands: a newer Martin with an intricate floral inlay and a vintage Gretsch he desperately wants to put his hands all over. Propped up in one corner of a sprawling couch is the same brilliant cobalt Jumbo she's famously played since she was eighteen. The woman in question is pacing by the pool, phone in hand, having an animated conversation.

The other man doesn't bother going all the way to the open sliding door before bellowing, "Wrap it up, gorgeous! Your five o'clock's on time."

Without turning around, the queen of Spotify lifts one hand and flicks two raised fingers at them.

"She'll be with you in a moment," he says on his way out of the room. "Don't worry. You're probably already in her good books. Loves punctuality, that one. Bit of a freak that way."

Even though Klaus knows how all of this works, the photoshoots and the costumes, the makeup and wigs, he's still a little surprised by how different she is in person. She looks well enough when she trots inside, but she's still barefoot in leggings and an old, worn soft shirt, proclaiming King William County Sheriff's Department Softball Team in faded, cracking letters. Her blonde curls are piled artlessly on top of her head and there's red irritation around her eyes, nose and mouth from wearing and removing stage makeup everyday for months on end.

"Hey, I'm Caroline," she says, as though her name hasn't been synonymous with breathy, acoustic pop for the past decade, and waves a little awkwardly.

"Klaus Mikaelson," he replies automatically, as though she doesn't know who's been delivered to her very nice home with its very expensive view. And then she smiles at him and the only thought he has is oh no. He digs his own grave when he, without any higher cognitive input whatsoever, says, "You must never meet my brother."

#awkwardly dragging in a dead rat as a gift for being awesome #it was supposed to be a bit of a time travel au #for obvious reasons #but 3/3 in the archives were ungood #klaroline

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edmundhoward · 5 months

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15,16,17,18,25

🔥 choose violence ask game 🔥

15. that one thing you see in fanart all the time

the ariana grande-ification of anne boleyn in fanart is truly something. and as an olive skinned white woman, i don’t think white tudor fans know what olive skin looks like. also i think there is a frankly bizarre relationship certain tudor fans have with race (ab as an Other™️ because she was supposedly swarthy, trends surrounding coa being fair and spanish, jane seymour being ‘so fair that one would call her rather pale than otherwise’).

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

i truly do not understand the appeal of characterising female historical figures (largely royal, aristocratic) as powerless victims — with no thought to their complicity in an inherently unjust institution. catherine of aragon (as one example) was immensely privileged to the detriment of the majority of people: she believed in this superiority as morally just and fought for it. remembering what her queenship meant should colour how we talk about her: lauding her as brave for fighting for her status can and should coexist with acknowledging what she was ultimately fighting for.

17. there should be more of this type of fic/art

i myself am guilty of this, but we absolutely need more content about non-courtiers (and content in general that is active and honest about acknowledging the fundamental value of those outside of the aristocratic sphere). wolf hall came close but veers into trying to have it both ways; ‘she [Mantel] wants to relish the bejewelled surfaces, the highly wrought fabrics, the flashing beauties of the Henrician age, while also having a go at the people and the institutions which enabled that agglomeration of riches. The aesthetic delight and the political outrage are on a collision course’. becoming elizabeth’s take on kett’s rebellion was hateful. one of the best jobs i ever had was transcribing local court records for an archive, and getting to meet dozens and dozens of men and women, and hear them talk about their lives.

18. it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...

critical thinking skills 🥴

i would be remiss if i didn’t plead katherine howard’s case yet again. she’s such a force of personality — charming and delightful and ‘fired with ambition’, when i think her ability to be as successful as she was as queen, given her lack of experience and the brevity of her reign, is nothing short of remarkable. i think people are genuinely missing out on someone so engaging when they dismiss her as either whore or victim. it’s a constant frustration, for me, that the way we talk about her remains so superficial.

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

god, i have so many of these; you could just send me 25s repeatedly atp haha. i think the most annoying thing though is the people who get weirdly offended by the insinuation that this fandom is, indeed, a fandom. there is this hypocrisy over how legitimate engagement can be — but ofc., certain people can be called ‘stans’ (indeed, ab fans can invent terms like ‘heneven eleven stans’ and ‘seyhive’, because people are just that painfully uncreative) but god forbid somebody, in turn, calls them ab stans. ‘i’m not a stan, i have a BA/BS/BE/LLB’; you write fanfiction — you are not serious people lol. it’s not an academic conference… nobody cares about you. you can leave if you’re not having fun, nobody is forcing you to be here.

#💌#i will never not take 1000 years to answer asks lmfao . they rot in my drafts …

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mymarifae · 1 year

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assigning the project sekai characters tarot cards because i’m autistic. pulling from both the major and minor arcanas because working with just the major arcana was way too restrictive and also featuring my actual deck 💗

ichika: Eight of Pentacles

the eight of pentacles indicates that your life recently changed directions and you are now putting your all into your new goals. it's the card of commitment, basically; nothing will deter you from taking this path. reversed, the eight of pentacles is more about self-improvement and development over achieving goals. it may be telling you that you're focused on perfection to your detriment (ichika's struggles with lyric writing and so forth). take a step back and readjust your perspective.

saki: Ten of Cups

the ten of cups represents happiness and emotional contentment. you're surrounded by your loved ones, and you help each other reach your highest potential. keep following your heart and listening to your intuition; you're on the right track! the ten of cups reversed means a lack of harmony in your relationships. you have become disconnected from your loved ones. it can also indicate that your life in general has become unbalanced. you're doing too much; remember to reel it in. keep your expectations realistic.

honami: Queen of Cups

you are a compassionate, nurturing force. you're a master at supporting others, and you are quick to pick up on when things are 'off.' you're creative and in tune with your subconscious. the queen of cups reminds you that you are stronger than you know. reversed, the queen of cups serves as a reminder to take care of yourself too. it can indicate that your emotions are overwhelming you or that you're out of touch with them. learn how to ground yourself; learn to reconnect with your inner self and feel things truthfully.

(bonus: seven of wands reversed fits honami perfectly in don't let doubts hold you back and in putting feelings into words. the main message of this card when reversed is "sometimes conflict is necessary. stop compromising yourself to appeal to others.")

shiho: The Lovers

the lovers is about Choice. it's about choosing who you want to be and how you want to connect with the people around you. it's about open communication, and vulnerability and trust. build harmony by accepting the duality of life and yourself. on the flip side, the lovers also means you're denying your heart. you've become disconnected and you need to repair your relationships. it can signify a moral dilemma and serves as a reminder to stay true to who you really are. (hint hint l/n's main story And the RWY arc)

minori: Queen of Wands

you are upbeat, brave, and determined! stay that way; own who you are and show the whole world. the queen of wands indicates that you are a natural leader, and that your bright nature tends to inspire others. you truly bring out the best in the world. reversed, the queen of wands focuses on self-respect and confidence! it also indicates a period of introversion where you take the time to build up your sense of self. learn how to own who you really are and express it with no reservations (applies to minori in her younger years).

haruka: Five of Cups

you made a mistake. a situation didn't turn out how you hoped, and now... you're wallowing in it. you're stuck in the past. and life is passing you by. there are new opportunities within your grasp, but you're too afraid to reach for them. the five of cups reversed tells you to forgive yourself for your mistakes. the past can't be undone. open up your heart, even though it's scary, and learn how to have hope for the future again.

airi: The Sun

the sun is a very bright card. it represents optimism, success, and a general zeal for life. your positive, radiant energy draws people to you, and it's what makes you so damn resilient. you're full of energy and you're thriving on your current path. the sun reversed tells you that you're being too negative. this negativity is holding you back and is confusing you, and you can't see the way forward. be more open-minded. (airi's struggles with feeling seen as a 'real' idol because of her variety show work)

shizuku: Eight of Cups

the eight of cups represents disappointment and a lack of fulfillment. something hasn't turned out how you thought it would and now all you want is to walk away from it entirely. the eight of cups asks you to ask yourself what brings you joy. reversed, the eight of cups can indicate that you're caught between walking away and trying one more time. really listen to your intuition and reevaluate your values and what's important to you. listen to (and trust) your heart. stay hopeful for the future.

kohane: Ace of Wands

this is the card of pure potential. you can accomplish great things - if you can figure out how to direct your energy. you have the motivation to pursue a new path in life, but you need to act now. no time for indecision. just... go for it! reversed, the ace of wands can mean you're struggling to define your purpose. you don't know where to direct your abundance of potential. have patience; not everything can be accomplished all at once. take the time to learn from the world around you.

an: The Moon

the moon represents repressed fears and emotions. rather than dealing with your feelings, you pushed them way, way, way down into your subconscious, and maybe this worked for a time. but now something is causing them to resurface. you need to listen to yourself. you need to work through these feelings, or they'll just keep haunting you. the moon reversed indicates that you are overcoming your fears. don't give in to the temptation to repress them again; keep facing them. it's the only way you'll grow and reach your highest potential.

akito: Nine of Wands

you are resilient and you have the ability to overcome all challenges, even when you don't think so. you have something special to bring to the world, a dream truly worth pursuing, and others may try to tear you down for it. don't let them dim your light. you are so close to a major turning point. keep your head high and stand your ground. the nine of wands also encourages you to seek the support of your loved ones. reversed, the nine of wands indicates struggle and exhaustion. don't take on more commitments. it can also indicate that you're being too defensive. focus your energy inwards and don't fuss over what other people think about you.

toya: The Star

the star is about healing. you have a renewed faith in the world and yourself and you are entering a period of contentment. you have realized who you are at your core and you're embracing it. the star also indicates high levels of creativity and inspiration. channel this energy well and craft a better life for yourself. the star reversed represents feelings of hopelessness, anxiety, and also a lack of confidence in yourself. you find no joy or satisfaction in your life's pursuits. make a change. heal, and move forward.

tsukasa: The Chariot

the chariot represents a strong will and the ability to triumph in difficult circumstances. it's about ambition and determination! if you don't like the way your life is going, change it! you have more power than you may think. keep going; own your destiny. reversed, the chariot represents the feeling of being Stuck. of being blocked in by obstacles all around you. it's a reminder to resist the urge to give up and keep pushing. (sky's edge, anyone?)

emu: Wheel of Fortune

yes, the wheel of fortune is usually used to represent karma and luck. BUT - it also represents big change. it's for the greater good, but that doesn't mean it's easy. the wheel of fortune reminds you that good times will always circle back around, and to cherish the happy moments instead of fretting over the future. also, release good energy into the world and the world will return the favor. (emu's dreams of making everyone smile and kaito's theory of the Circle of Smiles, yeah?) the wheel of fortune reversed is about resisting change, but i don't believe that applies to emu (anymore) so we don't need to spend time here.

nene: Page of Cups

new beginnings; to reach your highest potential, you have to let your imagination flow and dream big. explore your creative self. really expand on those skills. stay open-minded and embrace your inner child. let yourself believe anything is possible. reversed, the page of cups represents self-doubt and mental blockades. you know what you want to pursue, but you're afraid to reach for it. stop fearing the possibility of mistakes and learn from them. follow your heart, regardless of the outcome.

rui: King of Cups

you are beginning to master your emotions and creativity. you are balanced and calm, even when life throws you curve balls. stay true to your feelings and don't let anyone tell you how to live your life. you know how to look at things from a logical and an emotional perspective and can draw on both to make decisions. be wary of leaning too far into logistics. reversed, the king of cups is about really looking at yourself and gaining a deeper understanding of how your emotions affect you. you may be tempted to take control over these deeper feelings, but remember that too much control is just as bad as not enough.

(bonus: ten of swords applies to rui in regards to wxs's story arc. ten of swords is basically like... painful, inevitable endings. a fundamental change is coming and you're trying to fight it, but it needs to happen or life can never move forward.)

kanade: Strength

strength is... well, strength! it's the card of courage and passion. it's about taming your worst feelings and channeling them into something constructive, instead of letting them control and destroy you. it's about patience and inner calm - and quiet power. strength reversed is a representation of self-doubt and losing control. it may also be a warning that you're lashing out. it's not that you're weak; it's that you're letting your fears and doubts consume you. as we see kanade do in the past, in depths of despair.

mafuyu: The Tower

the tower represents a massive upheaval in your status quo. everything you thought you knew about yourself has been destroyed, but the tower only destroys false foundations. things may feel chaotic and hopeless, but from the ashes will come a better life. usually the tower's instigating event is from an unexpected outside source, but when the card is reversed it indicates that you are tearing down your own false foundations. the tower reversed reminds you to not rebuild what you once had. start all over again.

ena: Temperance

temperance brings patience, moderation, and balance into your life. learn to maintain an even temperament and don't let the little things eat away at you. let them go; learn how to redirect your energy to the things that really matter. temperance is also the "alchemy" card, and what is art if not a form of alchemy? now i know this doesn't sound like ena but that's because this upright meaning houses everything she needs to work on. reversed, temperance means you're out of balance. you've lost your sense of inner calm. you're behaving recklessly, and there is a lack of harmony in many of your relationships. temperance reversed demands that you find your flow - now. it's a call for profound self-healing.

mizuki: Six of Swords

the six of swords represents a state of transition. essential change awaits you, but something is holding you back. what old ideas, habits, memories, and feelings are you clinging to? because it's time to let them go and move forward. you are slowing your own self-growth. six of swords reversed indicates a similar state of transition, but on a very private, personal level. it also means that you know what you need to do to move forward, but you're reluctant to do it. and if you're really struggling to let go of the past, it may be because there is something you need to understand - some lesson you didn't finish learning. resolve those problems now. don't push them aside anymore. letting go of the past is scary, but six of swords is gently reminding you that it'll propel you forward into a better future.

#looks at you with my big autistic eyes #project sekai #leo/need #more more jump #vivid bad squad #wonderlands x showtime #nightcord at 25:00 #25 ji nightcord de #long post #this is a cross post from twitter i never put any of this here because. well i forgor #wanders off

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peachyqueenly · 2 years

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Wait do ppl rlly think that vanilla loved lily? I mean she ruined his life… the chapter 14/museum relic letter with ‘longing and affection’ was more romantic than any of their interactions that were full of suffering for him. Like who talks about making perfect cookies in front of her literally blind friend?

Okay, lots to unpack here but I think it’s worth it to do so.

First of all, and most importantly since it’s used to paint Lily as ‘being insensitive’ here, he is not explicitly blind in canon. That is popular fanon and a popular hc, but it is not 100% canon.

At best it’s vaguely suggested, but even so… Let’s assume it is canon. He clearly didn’t find anything insulting in of itself about her research cause he canonically continued it after their academy days.

Like. That’s not debatable, that is literal canon. His journeys and goals were directly tied to making Cookie's less fragile. Just as was the goal of Lily's experiments. His objections to Lily’s school days experiment were not cause he felt insulted by the notion of making a perfect cookie. He came to the conclusion that their original hypothesis was impossible (something she did too after the incident, instead focusing her time on the origin of cookie genesis).

Also, comparing Lily’s goal of helping cookies to being ableist is insincere as someone with both mental illness and physical impairments. As the entire reason for her research and creating the so called perfect cookie wasn’t some eugenics bullshit. It was because Cookies were fragile. Far too fragile for their own good. She was seeking to provide a way to make it so Cookies wouldn’t fall apart so easily cause it was literally a detriment to their existence. Finding treatments/ways to heal ailments is not inherently ableist.

Lily's idea of a "perfect cookie" is a cookie that doesn't *crumble* easily, a cookie that doesn't *die* easily. Never has she suggested that blindness or disabilities were imperfections or weakness anon, I'm not sure what you're getting at but you got it wrong. Even as DE, she doesn't voice any ableist views and her opinion is that weakness comes from a lack of will- Hell, her literal right hand man is an amputee with a prosthetic. It doesn't really matter because DE and Lily are separate characters altogether, but even if you wanna argue that they are tied, then here you go. Also, Strawberry Crepe's existence proves that Pure Vanilla actually agreed with Lily on the prospect of making "better" cookie, the kid is an android.

As for her making him suffer... she also ruined her *own* life-- If anything, Pure Vanilla was able to recover and went on to found a kingdom with great success, whereas she never lived what happened down. And if you mean her actions as DE... anon I don't know how to tell you this but they are separate characters, Lily didn't get away scott free with it- She's literally missing and possibly host for an unknown evil.

That letter in chapter 14 can be read as romantic if you want, but for me I saw nothing but friendship in it. It was no different than how he addressed Hollyberry. The two spent constant time away from eachother and, last I checked, it’s Lily who Pure Vanilla had an entire section of his palace dedicated to along with her inclusion in the five's stain glass memorial. And the letter in the museum (Pure Vanilla’s) has zero confirmation of who its to. Based on the canon text, it could very well be for Lily not Cacao. Cause both his and her descriptions use the language of longing and memories to describe eachother a lot.

There is also plenty in the relics to suggest his love and care for Lily, if we're gonna use those. For example--

White Lily is no more flawed than any of the other ancients; they literally adored her and had nothing but good things to say. Sure she is flawed and they know that (both her and Vanilla have issues leaning on others), but to paint her as uniquely toxic to Vanilla or the others based on canon is a misreading of the text.

If you find their interactions uncomfortable on a personal level, obviously I can’t stop you. But from a purely canon perspective I don’t sen how such a reading of their relationship is supported. He cares and appreciates her deeply to this very day, as do the other two (maybe three).

The issue I find with many people's interpretation of their relationship is it is built on folks being uncomfortable on his behalf, when he would literally disagree with the notion that Lily was all bad. This isn't about shipping; honestly I could care less if you don't see it as romantic. Them being just friends would be fine... but interpreting them as uniquely toxic, in my opinion, is doing a disservice to both of their characters. There are a lot of good memories that include her that he holds onto, even as he's now trying to move forward. And you know what? Him accepting her, flaws and all, is a far better story than believing he's just blind to her 'evil'.

#cookie run #cookie run kingdom #pure vanilla cookie #white lily cookie #dark enchantress cookie

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the-parentheticals · 9 months

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i don't know who you are anymore, it's as if you were never mine

Summary: It's not that it's a failure. In fact, according to the criteria she'd been given, it was a perfect success.

It's just that none of this was what she wanted anyway.

Word count: 770

Warnings: yeah I sure hope they do

Note: For @badthingshappenbingo, Disproportionate Retribution. Uhhh, something happens here. Don't build robots and then treat them poorly? But also, don't do what the robot does. Everything sucks here, really.

read on ao3

The girl doesn't quite smile when her creation returns. If there was any joy at seeing his task finally completed, it had long dissipated by the time he had arrived, long since replaced by the grief of knowing that everything she had worked for was gone now.

"I hope you cleaned yourself up."

He says nothing.

"I don't want the blood of my beloved in my lab," she continues. "It's not a big ask, really. You should shower. I know you don't have sweat or bodily fluids or anything, but the people you kill do."

"There are more important things than that." Get on with it, his tone screams. No more distractions.

Shizuka's breath grows uneven. This isn't the product she made. It's supposed to be her admonishing him.

"What am I supposed to be doing, then?" She is breathing, she is alive and she is breathing and that is all that matters. There are no other things that can interfere.

She doesn't cry. She can't cry. None of this has anything to do with what's important.

"You knew what you signed up for, Shizuka-chan."

And she can tolerate lies, and hurt, but somehow she can't tolerate him pretending he has any hint of a clue as to what's going on. She can't tolerate him pretending she had a choice.

"I didn't choose this, I don't want this, why won't you just understand that?" She's screaming. Don't scream, Shizuka, it makes you sound unprofessional, and you don't want that, do you?

"It doesn't matter what you want. It doesn't matter what any of us want. It's only what they want. They know better than you."

She doesn't know he thought that way. She wonders, for a moment, how screwed everything is. The pause between his sentence and hers is far too long. "They aren't going to be happy with you for this."

"Why wouldn't they be? It's not like I'm doing anything detrimental."

"You're taking away their prodigy scientist. The person who created you, who you rely on all the time. Do you really want to deal with the consequences of that?"

"You think too highly of yourself."

How dare he, she thinks. How dare he not understand how important she is. She's the only reason he exists.

She doesn't get the words out before he continues.

"In the end, you mean nothing to them. Your life is just another statistic like the ones you used. Don't you know that?"

"Then yours doesn't, either." She smiles. There's nothing behind it--no misery, no happiness.

"I've been told otherwise."

"You aren't irreplaceable, HERO." She sees it now. The mere fact that he had even believed otherwise...what had she done?

"The very fact that you're telling me this? It means I am. I'm HERO done right. And they'd never get rid of that."

"You're wrong." Her voice is light, for once in this entire conversation. The voice of someone who isn't having a mental breakdown at this very moment. "But I suppose you can deal with the consequences on your own."

"Then tell me." His tone is still flat, and it's the one that makes her want to tear off her skin and jump out the window. She doesn't know quite why. After all, it's fine. Everything is fine. (Ah, who is she kidding.) "Why wouldn't I be?"

She doesn't answer. She just waits for him to continue.

"They said I was, and they wouldn't lie to me, would they?" Is he taunting her? Is he just trying to hurt her? Of course he is. He learned from her, after all, even if neither of them meant to.

She does not quite look at his face. Her eyes aren't open all the way, and she swears that they aren't like that to hide her tears.

"...I'm starting to think they have."

He seems to be stunned by the statement at last, but it lasts only a second and it lasts years.

"Then...everything you've worked for has been for nothing."

"Yeah." She surprises herself by saying it. "Yeah, I guess it has been, because Ria's dead, and you killed her."

"You're sure of this?"

"I'm sure."

He looks at her with an unreadable expression, and all she can think about is that something has gone very, very wrong. It's not the kind of wrong she can fix. It's not the kind of wrong she knows where. She just knows it's too late now, and all she can do is wait for the consequences, her head lowered something like a dog.

"Ah, by the way?"

She looks up.

"Happy birthday."

Bang.

#my stuff #pari's ocs #pari writes real fics #terminal//command #badthingshappenbingo #danganronpa

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chordsykat · 1 year

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OC ask meme! For Caj, 3 16 20 for Nita 34 3 40 for Cherry 29 23 20 (thats a lot, sorry XD)

Oooo! Let's do this! I answered 40 for Nita, here. As for the others...

3: How easy to annoy is your oc? Do they have common pet-peeves or are they stoic in response to everything? What is their reaction if the source doesn’t stop?

Nita - She's patient to a fault -- to her own detriment. Really really. She'll let you annoy her long after it's pushed her to her breaking point. You'll see some of this at play in Dethkomic very soon. Nita's got a problem with boundaries, but slowly and surely, she works it out. Unfortunately until she does... she's likely to just let it keep going even after other people are beginning to find it obnoxious.

Caj - Also has a lot of patience, but she'll let you know when you're getting on her nerves. The only thing that really truly bothers her (except Skwisgaar) is inaction when action is clearly warranted. Caj is the wind element of the bunch. If she's not moving, she dies. Or, moreover, she takes matters into her own hands.

16 (Caj): If your oc could only eat one thing for the rest of their life (while miraculously not suffering from malnutrition), what would it be? Does this match their favourite food?

Caj is on record as saying chocolate is the only addiction she hasn't been to rehab for. On tour, she is well-known for hitting up restaurants and asking for the dessert list up front -- proceeding to order the most decandent chocolate *whatever* on the menu. There are some exceptions (she doesn't consider American chocolate to be real food) but her sweet tooth is as legendary as her music.

20: Does your oc have any pleasure that embarrasses them so they keep it secret? Or are they open about all the things they enjoy?

Caj - Probably knows more about the characters and worlds that inhabit her kids' favorite shows and books than they do. Following the timeline of when my stories *actually* happened, Caj would probably be a brony. If they'd happened today, she'd unironically enjoy Bluey and Blippi. I'm not sure how out she'd be about these things, but I'm sure she'd correct other parents when they confused Pinkie Pie for Rainbow Dash.

Cherry - She's pretty hedonistic and sees no shame in enjoying all that life has to offer and doing it out loud. Her "guilty pleasures" are many for this reason. Cherry's got a not-so-secret love for sappy romcoms, loves to overdo it on makeup snd wildly out-of-vogue hairstyles any chance she gets, and has a thing for pink flamingo lawn ornaments and similarly themed items.

34 (Nita): What would someone blackmail your oc with? Would they be successful in getting what they wanted?

That's a tough one. What they'd blackmail her with isn't as hard a question -- probably a loved one. But God help those bad guys if the one they took hostage was her dad. They'd give him back.

How successful they'd be is what has me stuck. Nita's quick to please, and if it was someone she loved dearly, there's no question she'd do anything in order to save them. However, one of Nita's innate abilities is this persuasive nature she seems to have over others that come in contact with her. She's a spirit of harmony and getting along (and yeah, here again, I'm kinda hinting at superpowers). Maybe all it'd take for the antagonist to drop the ball is hanging around her for a few minutes? I mean... can you blame them? Who'd want to hurt this chick? LOL

29 (Cherry): If your oc was in a video game, what would their idle animation be? (When the player stays still for too long, the animation that plays.)

I actually almost did this when I found a plugin that would allow me to put idle animations on characters in Harmonic Odyssey (but, feature creep, yanno...) -- would absolutely have her roll a joint and smoke it until the player picked their controller back up again.

23 (Cherry): What is the most annoying sound to your oc? What’s the most pleasant? Is there any reason?

I LOVE it when I have to re-read my own character sheets to figure stuff like this out. Annoying is a very good question because she "analyzes" sound in a way that would confuse and confound most people who don't specifically have her sort of sensitivities. She is always looking for patterns and notes in things, even when there aren't any to be found. If none exist, she will likely shrug it off until there's too much of nothing to be found. I imagine she's cool with a consistent white noise, but only to a point. Having an alarm or something that should have a regular "beat" go off without keeping a consistent time pattern might be her kryptonite.

Pleasant sounds? Let's talk about the sound of water pipes... for several reasons that should be obvious by now. :)

Thank you for another round of wonderful questions! I sincerely doubt I'll ever get tired of doing Q&As off this list. XD

Original prompt is right here!

#mtl oc #answered #quizzes and questions!

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cuethediscoandthedrinks · 2 years

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Hi could i get a ship? Sfw romantic please ! From Marvel and or Stranger Things

Im genderfluid, my personality type is a mixture between enfp and entp basically.. all of us make everyone around us happy and we abandon ourselves, same with jokes we make em just to hide our real feelings ahaha

Plus im a leo!

Even though im jokey, i can also be very determined, direct and straight to the point. I know it sounds like im really self obsessed but i do have my like badass moments, i feel like?

Thank u !

ok, so i'm getting a vibe here and i hope u dig it! i'm vibing with...

..loki laufeyson (marvel)~

so in this universe, i'mma say you're also a villainous kinda miscreant with a taste for criminality and theatrical exuberance (much like our own loki here). your determination, directness and badass attitude are likely what attracted loki to you from the get-go. innately (if we look back to kenneth branagh's loki) he's a more emotional, sensitive and introspective introverted person, so when he devolves into envy-driven criminal mayhem, well, you're just the person to join him.

he's primarily attracted to your character, but being an outsider himself, i think your genderfluid identity and ability to see the humor in things are your main winning qualities for him. he's different, but can often spiral into insecurity and self-inflicted emotional pain; but with you, he can see the light in things a little better, and bond over your shared 'otherness' and how you can plot and scheme to overthrow whoever may stand in your way. although if you get a little too badass, he may have to challenge you to a duel to put you in your place!

..and robin (stranger things)~

robin's a pretty solid jester herself, but i think finding someone like you - on her wavelength - would make you difficult to ignore. your shared appreciation for being more in the moment, and taking on challenges and adventures as they come (with ample resilience, ambition and honesty) would keep you two together like two peas in a pod.

i think both you and robin would struggle with working hard to keep others happy, to the detriment of your own mental/physical wellness, but having each other on your team would ensure that no one gets lumped with more than they can handle. bc you both have similar chaotic!jester energies, i think the warning signs of social burnout or unfulfillment would be easy to spot. likewise, if you get a little too ballsy she'll have little trouble to knock u down a micro-peg or two (and you her ofc), but ultimately you're kind of each other's rocks; i see it being a v successful relationship tbh!

hope u liked sweetie! the sexual orientation wasn't specified, so i did one of each. <3

#cuethedisco #cuethediscoandthedrinks #drabbles #fanfic #fanfiction #requests open #reader insert #steve rogers #bucky barnes #marvel #mcu loki #loki x gender neutral reader #loki x reader #loki show #loki fic #loki fluff

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mecha-shadow · 2 months

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Your favourite sonic ship (which I don't actually even know btw?) + Regency Romantic AU?

Aw man I started a draft response to this a couple of days ago and it got deleted.

In response to this post

Unfortunately I am basic and my favourite sonic ship is sonadow. I do love shadamy as well though, I think it would definitely be easier to come up with hcs for them in a regency romance au, but because I want to challenge myself I'm gonna do it with sonadow!

I feel like regency romance aus have a fairly solid narrative structure to them that wouldn't really fit the sonic world (e.g. parents doing match-making when most of them don't really have parents present, homophobia, social hierarchy, age etc) so you're gonna have to pretend none of that matters here.

1. They wouldn't court traditionally, and most people wouldn't even be aware they were courting at all. Neither of them want the attention and speculation, but it does mean that everyone therefore assumes they're both available and hijinks would ensue. It also means they wouldn't be great about just having a conversation about how they both feel, so while they both know the other is courting, there'd be very little actual discussion about it.

2. Shadow hates everything about the season even though he can perform the part well enough (Maria lives AU and she teaches him??). Sonic's not too fond of a lot of it, but he does appreciate some parts (so much food at every ball they attend). They both secretly enjoy being 'forced' into the same social events though, they will always find each other for a break from it all.

3. Sonic gets quite uncomfortable with everyone trying to pair their sons/daughters off with him, and kinda envies that no one really dares approach Shadow to do the same. He does massively enjoy winding him up by threatening to introduce would-be matches to him though.

4. Amy is the first person Sonic tells about his intentions with Shadow. She takes it pretty hard at first (you just know that she'd have a picture perfect fairytale courtship envisioned for her and Sonic) but once she comes to terms with it she's determined to help play match-maker, almost to the detriment of her own season success (Amy and Maria dream team meddlers).

5. Despite point 1, Shadow would be the more traditional of the two of them. He'd try normal courtship at first, just more in private than publically. He'd try the dancing (Sonic can't do any of the formal dancing expected at balls but that's all Shadow knows. They only try it once), the gift-giving (Sonic is allergic to the flowers he chooses), and even tries to get the approval of Sonic's family (cue extremely awkward Tails interaction) but it all seems to go wrong. Sonic would have to be the one to initiate their own courtship, one that works for the both of them.

#sonic headcanons #ask game

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godshideouscreation · 5 months

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Secret: I’m still in love with and deeply worried about my ex. We’re both recovering addicts and when she left me I was completely self-destructing and she left me for someone in our orbit so I just kinda went harder, but I lived and got clean. She and the new guy have been together for five years and engaged for most of that time and have also been to rehab, but he keeps relapsing and I worry about her constantly, not just because she’s dealing with that but about her relapsing as well. Some part of me wishes we could be a thing again but I know that won’t solve anything, I just want her to be happy and healthy, and I don’t know if I can give that to her either.

Loving somebody who is struggling with an addiction while you are also struggling with an addiction has got to be one of the most painful experiences I've ever had in my life. So I just have to say to start this off that I'm sorry that you're going through that. Watching someone you love be unable to get their life together while you are trying desperately to get your life together is a lot.

In 2018 I was in love with a heroin addict and struggling with a (benzos) pill addiction. In a lot of ways, we leaned on each other and depended on each other for support. I talked to him everyday, I was there for him through truly fucked up shit. Through rehab several times, and even in times where his own family didn't talk to him. For all the time he spent in prison. I put money on his books so that he could make phone calls and eat something other than prison gunk. I've never loved anybody in the way that I loved him and I probably never will. It was intense, consuming. For almost 2 years he was clean, and when he got out the last time, he relapsed it ended up killing him. On the night that he died he told me he loved me, and then he hung up a phone and stuck a needle in his arm and died.

I've never wanted to die more in my life than when I found that out. And that's from somebody who has struggled with my mental illness from a very young age. That's saying a lot because I had several suicide attempts before I even turned 18. I felt like what was the point? We were working towards this future that we both wanted so bad. I felt stupid. I was so angry. So fucking hurt. Even though I knew from struggling with my own addiction how hard it was. He was the one thing that was keeping me together and keeping me from falling off. I had to start focusing on myself. I had literally poured everything out of my cup into his. I've never felt more empty in my entire life. I've experienced other kinds of loss since then, but nothing that has monumentally fucked me up like that. I've been clean since 2018 because of that. Because I never wanted to make anybody that I cared about feel the way that I did. I got pretty sick from withdrawal and the one thing that kept me going was that awful feeling, and not wanting to give that to anyone else.

I'm telling you this because even though you absolutely can love somebody so much, with every fiber of your being, you can't love them into getting their life together. Sometimes the only thing that you can do is just continue to focus on yourself. And honestly, it does seem like her situation is not a good one. It seems like she leans into somebody who is not healthy for her and you said that y'all are in the same orbit, so I'm sure it's hard to watch that. My best advice to her would be to focus on herself, but sometimes it takes that kind of experience before you can even think about focusing on yourself. I was stubborn as hell and I don't think there's anything that anybody could have told me that would have made me step away from him. The only options were get clean or die trying. I don't know if y'all are still friends or talk at all, I think it's valid to want to be there for somebody! but I don't want you to do it at a detriment to your health or your success either.

Keep focusing on you. Keep your life together. Maybe there will be a time when you guys both have a place in each other's life. But don't make that your priority.

#tell me ur secrets

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praeyrp · 5 months

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BFF & Work Husband - Not dating but everyone thinks they are

open face Kwon Ji-yong (G-Dragon) is shown - open name - open species - for Senna Kim

these two are really just "those friends" who everyone assumes are dating, and who are just trying to live their lives in a cut-throat industry, being supportive and creative lil beans together. Senna will be, eventually, pulled half away from the mortal realm (she'll eventually help overthrow her crazy father in the fae realm, the mad king of the dawn court - yes she is technically the crowed princess and yes, he'd know -handwave- lol)Kwon Ji-yong (G-Dragon)

So this request has a fair few details listed, but honestly I'm super open to changes and give you all the wiggle room and freedom to edit things as you need to make it work. Think of this as just a general idea as opposed to something that needs to be followed to a T!! If you have an questions or wanna bounce ideas, just poke me! So the general idea is two people working in the same field, who've come to lean on one another and built a tight kin-ship sort of bond. They're very close, tell each other everything, do as much as they can together, support and help each other where they can and in direct order to make sure neither of them wind up drowning. For the purposes of this ad I'll just call this character G (names are hard mkay lol).

The music industry is hard, demanding and very rarely fair to the artists; this is where it all starts for Senna and G.

They'll have met way back in Korea, several decades ago, when G was just a wee lil artist fighting his way up the ranks within his contracted agency. Senna would have looked slightly younger, but largely she'll have stayed the same, a sort of constant and supportive face among the every changing rabble and those above him trying to milk the talent of their artists. Senna's always been sweet and selfless, but more than this, she's always been drawn to artists and creative types. G, who started very young, would have appealed instantly, and she'd have done what she could to help him along the way.

A very big sister sort of self-imposed role, if you will.

G is the sort who's ambitious, almost to a fault and almost always to his own physical and mental detriment. Pushing himself to his own breaking point constantly. He's been chasing what he has now since he was big enough to dance and has been supported by whomever he'd been around (familial ties are up to you!). As is typical in the Eastern music industry, getting into a group is an uphill climb, and solo albums are basically unheard of unless you're already established. G would have likely been passed over several times before he was finally shoved into a group.

Whether he's still friends with any of them is up to you, and whether he enjoyed it is also up to you. G however, is a much stronger solo-unit. His voice isn't something that necessarily needs or benefits from a group setting, but getting a solo career will have been an arduous and long process. It's this which Senna could have helped with, by applying pressure from her own success and standing in the western market. All through this however, she'd have guided and supported; would have offered G features on songs, and spots on her own tours for his group. Senna knows how hard it is to be passed over and tossed around by the music industry, and some of this G would have seen from Senna's end as well, allowing him to support her equally.

As with anyone who works closely with someone from the opposite sex, especially in the spotlight, people talk.

Senna would never have been bothered, it's just part of fame, though they could have used it to their own advantage and to help further G along by using Senna's own fame. She'd not have minded in the least, after all they're basically family at this point~

Most of G's history up until the present will be up to you, as will when he finally gained his solo career in the Eastern market. The bulk of G's present issues however, will have cropped up after he got what he wanted; the loss of his group landed him in a fairly lonely position, having been surrounded by like-minds all of his life. Even beyond this though he'll have been at the mercy of his agency/label as to what he's able to produce and when it's released. Frustrated by the dragging feet of his agency and their need to yank him around with promises that keep falling through, and Senna will invite him to California.

It's just a vacation, or so he thinks, though when he arrives it'll become very clear that Senna has no intention of letting him continue on the path he's on. She not only offers to help him cut ties with his agency but also offers him a place under her newly created label, which includes all the creative freedom to do what he's always wanted. Breaking contracts is an expensive and laborious process, all of which Senna is willing to help with. Money and time are nothing important to Senna, all she wants for G is his own happiness and freedom~

Senna owns an art collective, which includes a studio, dance space and a art gallery. It's really just one giant building that caters to everything expressive and creative, allowing artists of all disciplines to come together and inspire one another. This will become their haven and everything under its roof will be available to G as well! So stretch his artistic wings!

#wanted ad #jcink skin #supernatural creatures rp #jcink rp site

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the-devotion-system-pdf-book · 7 months

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The Devotion System PDF Download Amy North (eBook)

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edwinas · 2 years

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Thank you for replying again and I saw the photos for Mr Malcolm's List!! Definitely very interested in it and I can't wait for it to come out. Sidenote but I hate how this fandom's treatment of Charithra has made me become anxious every time she shows up in a new magazine/does a panel or any interview. She showed up alongside Nicola and Simone for the new Netflix panel for Bridgerton specifically and she even got a spot at an FYSEE panel on how far Asian representation has gotten which I really love, but I can't even dare to go to other fans' accounts now because I just know people will be like "why doesn't Simone speak about this???" I hate how just generally, it's come to the point where apparently we can only let one of them reap all the benefits of their roles while the other one apparently has to "wait their turn". I know some fans will quickly retract from this and try to excuse their whining but that's literally how some of them come off. It's like "we already have one dark-skinned Indian actress who's hot and ready to speak up about rep, let her have all the spotlight! We don't need more than one!". Even when they try to mean well about Simone and her success it comes off as extremely gross, and it's also detrimental to her own image if you think that you, as a fan, are doing her any favors in insulting Charithra and saying that Simone should've gotten her interviews when Simone herself wants to support the fact that both of them are in this show. Like you're not doing them any favors by sticking to the "one actor of color who gets fame and attention in a show that is still very white is enough" logic, you're just sticking to an already racist scheme within the industry. If you want to complain about Simone not getting enough interviews to your liking then why not go after her white costars? Why do all of them get attention by default while Simone and Charithra apparently have to be placed in some fake "tug of war" with how much they get according to the fandom? Sorry for the rambling

No need to apologise, love getting these asks and I appreciate you taking the time to write them! I'm so excited for Mr Malcolm's List!!!

Gosh same, I can't even fully enjoy what Charithra says/does because I try to guess how she'll be misunderstood... It has also started affecting how I view Simone content.

What's baffling is this "wait your turn" mentality is a PILLAR of fandom racism. Every time there's a white female lead, she's lauded for being "revolutionary" (hint: she isn't). Woc are silenced and told to wait their turn and that this white character will open doors for them. Same with "there can only be one person of x ethnicity at the table," used to limit diverse rep (reminiscent of Bridgerton).

These fans think they're doing this for Simone but they don't see her as a real person, just an extension of Kate and their ship. Because if they cared about her, they'd know she'd be appalled by their gatekeeping & harassment. She wants more representation (which includes Charithra), not to monopolise it.

No one is stealing Simone's interviews, not her white co-stars, especially not Charithra. I believe Simone did more interviews than the rest of the cast any way? If fans need to blame someone, blame her management. But it's much easier to blame someone they can put a face on and "righteously" be terrible to because Edwina got in the way of their ship and was mean to Kate. Why can't they be normal and separate the actress from her character....

Bonus points if they realise they hold brown and white characters to vastly different standards.

#charithra chandran #fandom racism #bridgerton #my/rambling #ask #answers #please don't hesitate to send more asks!#i’d love to send you some but my mind is empty lol

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daydreamrry · 3 years

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No because I don't want a skinny, white, rich and privileged woman who could do whatever the fuck she wants and have it idealized by a bunch of 14 year olds to tell me that she's a feminist while the only feminism she does is "freeing her nipples".

Like yeah, it's true that women's bodies shouldn't be stigmatized and that shouldn't prevent us from expressing our sexuality the way we want, but does Cockburn know that there's bigger problems in the world that people of third world countries are facing that she could use her platform to bring light to?

Does she know that her "don't cut your body hair, don't wear a bra" activism won't apply to those places and the women there? That not everyone can go "yass queen Olivia, you just repeated what hundred of white women like you preach in magazines every other day but your words changed my life"??

But no, the fucking freeloader is going to be in magazines with perfect, edited bodies, and then tell teens to feel okay about theirs, while she never really tells us about how all sizes should be accepted. She's only saying she's happy with herself, which is like, why wouldn't she be?

She's getting so much clout lately from an international popstar without doing anything, she's conventionally pretty because she's white and skinny and blonde, and she has good media coverage. Is a person like her being happy supposed to encourage young impressionable girls, who see their idols dating this virtually perfect woman and use detrimental ways to become more like her? It's a fucking cycle, god.

She doesn't want to say anything new, and you know what, just because she's rich and at an advantage from the rest of the crowd doesn't mean that she can't be an actual feminist.

See Taylor Swift for an example, one of the most successful stars of this era, I would agree that some of her activism has been performative in the past (bad blood girl squad thing etc) but she's definitely past her petty days. She's now an inspiration to so many young artists that no matter how many people would put you down, you can achieve what you want with talent and determination.

Taylor goes into detail about how people have tried to put her down, again and again, and she highlights her downfalls and what she did to overcome them, not just be like "oh you're having actual problems? I mean, I can't really relate because I've never had to really work for anything, nepo kid thingsz ya know...haha sorry lame joke, anyways so like I don't know, just be happy I guess...here, here, say cheese"

But no, Taylor's not so out of touch like Olivia, she didn't always have everything laid out to her on a platter, she talks about how she's gotten where she is today, just see her woman of the decade speech, that's really inspiring I think. She chooses to speak about actual issues, how nobody automatically didn't trust her during the Kanye West issue, the Scooter Braun thing, and how she emerged from those lows. It wasn't always a piece of cake for her.

And I know Taylor's not perfect either, but in this area she's just a far better example than Olivia. I just used her to show the things O could've done and said time and time again but chose not to. That's all lol.

YES YES YES 🙌🏽

edit: an anon said, “Not even just women in 3rd world countries! Women right here in the US in some states don’t have control of their own bodies to make their own choices and get punished if they do. Look at Texas! But yeah, sure Cockburner, free your nipple. It’s gonna solve all problems for all women of all ethnicities once people believe sustainability is sexy and they all too can take their clothes off for the male gaze 🙄 she’s literally putting women back years with the shit she spews. Thankfully no one but Harries (and us, we need to stop) pay attention to her. -🦚” - !!!!!!!!!!

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isthisitbytaylornicole · 3 years

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"is this it?" BLOG POST #1: hey, you! meet adulthood. the ghetto, if you will...

Author's Note:

First of all, welcome to my blog! It feels so surreal to be saying that because this is something I have wanted to do for so long, but fear, laziness, and "plans" kept me from doing so. I am so happy that you have decided to take time out of your day to sit and read my post. I'm so excited to be able to share these stories with you all about my dirty little cousin, Adulthood. She doesn't mean any harm, she just doesn't know any better. Trust me. I hope you are intrigued by what I have to say and I would love to chat with you in the comments about these topics. Enjoy!

"Don't you find it odd, that when you're a kid, everyone, all the world, encourages you to follow your dreams. But when you're older, somehow they act offended if you even try."

-Unknown (The Hottest State)

I can say, without hesitation, that I was not fully prepared for what adulthood had to offer. She came without remorse, but made sure to bring all sorts of debt, the occasional iffy encounter, and topped it all off with a micro-aggression or two (or ten). In these instances where I was thrown into situations dealing with money, racism, self-identity, relationships, etc., how did I handle these episodes with minimal detrimental impact on my inner psyche? The answer; I didn't because I didn't know how to.

I vividly remember the process of applying to colleges, final senior presentations, deciding what school I wanted to go to, all while being molded in the belief that college was the best option, if not the only option, for young, black, teenagers, like myself, who wanted to be successful. Please don't misunderstand me when I say this. I definitely agree with the fact that as young adults we should be able to take advantage of all the opportunities given to us including continuing an education at a four-year institution and experiencing all that college has to offer like social engagements and freshmen fifteen. However, I do not believe that is the only way to solidify success in a society where situations like going to a four year conventional university have become the norm. While we are molded into believing a four-year college is one of only three options for teenagers of color [the other options being pregnancy or prison as stereotype culture has taught us] we are limited in the knowledge of only knowing how to make it TO college, and not how to be successful THROUGHOUT and beyond college and I am a prime example.

Due to the stigma of black high school dropouts, often times, high schools in cities like Detroit (who primarily house students of African decent) strive for one-hundred percent high school graduation and college acceptance rates ,as apposed to, one-hundred percent college fulfillment and graduation rates. In other words, they don't care how you get home from the party, as long as you were invited. And I mean who can blame them?! While primarily white high schools with students trying to decide if they want to attend either Harvard or Yale are spitting out graduates left and right, primarily black high schools can't even get scantron sheets on time for their junior students to take the SAT, which is it supposed to be an equal opportunity test for all students, accept those with brown skin of course. (This happened at my high school btw.)

Then I get to college only to see that all of my professors are old, white, dirty men, which is not in fact the demographic I grew up within. Is this it? Is this what my parents are paying almost forty-thousand dollars a year for? Is this your King?! 👨🏼‍🏫Well, I'm here now and I guess I need to stick this out. Never mind being one of only four black students in an intro to political science class of almost forty-five. Never mind having a black roommate who didn't know if she wanted to be Ebony or Ivory that day. Her white boyfriend did tell me I had nice skin one day which was nice of him. Never mind me working at the McDonald's right across the street from my dorm my freshman year where almost everyday somebody I knew would come and try to get free food from me. (That didn't really have anything to do with my hardships during my time at college, but it was irritating trying not to get caught smuggling cookies and McFlurries out of the store every other day. I was too nice obviously.) Never mind having to refrain from using any kind of ebonics in order to fit into conversations and/or lectures about political science topics in order to sound more professional and educated to my white peers and professors (A.K.A code switching😶‍🌫️ 🎛). Overall, the majority of my time spent inside the college classroom setting was often done in ways that involved me faking it until I made it, until I didn't make it.

I dropped out of college at the end of my sophomore year and at the time it seemed like my biggest failure. Not only did I feel like I failed myself, I felt like I failed my family and closest friends and quite literally I failed most of my classes😬. Not to mention the thousands of dollars in student loans left for me to pay back which was bound to happen anyways but that is a totally different conversation for another post. (Sallie Mae better hope she don't catch these hands.) I felt like, as do most young adults my age, there was a timeline on my success. If I didn't get that college degree in four years, and have a car and apartment by twenty, my life had no worth. This narrative was brought on not only by my school environment growing up, but it was brought on by the climate that we live in today. As young people, we are so easily influenced by pop culture, social media, YouTube, sports media, our peers, music and so many other ideals constantly bombarding our everyday lives. We're shown these unrealistic almost fantasy-like scenarios in which all you have to do it make a prank video in order to make money and once you have money, fame, and a VLONE shirt, boom, you have worth! Why am I rushing to fulfill these egregious standards set by these dull influencers who can't even spell egregious. Success does not have only one definition. To me, success is defined by your own standards and not society's. And college is not a one stop shop!

The picture of adulthood has been painted so monochromatically that I have at times lost my ability to dare to dream bigger than what has been laid before me with society's crusty hands. Yes I plan on finishing my education at a four year college, but at the time, my college experience would not have allotted me the opportunity to discover the world of Cyber Security and the many job opportunities and networks I've been exposed to.

All in all, take advantage of ALL the opportunities you encounter whether they are laid out in front of you or even if you have to network to find them.

This was just a piece of the perspectives I am excited to offer as I continue to share my stories in this world of blogging and rediscovery. I hope I didn't scare any of you off already because in my next blog piece I will be diving into more aspects of adulthood and the whole notion of relationships(romantic and non); do we really need them tho? and how do we weed out the bad ones and water the fruitful ones?

PLEASE TUNE IN ON TUESDAY FOR MY NEXT INSTALLMENT OF "IS THIS IT?" BY TAYLOR NICOLE AND THANK YOU FOR READING!💛

By: Taylor Nicole

LEAVE YOUR THOUGHTS AND COMMENTS BELOW! I WOULD LOVE TO CHAT.💛

#blog #tumblog #blackgirlmagic #black culture #black twitter #blacklivesmatter

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