akkrosu

[akkrosu]

So I wrote a PatPran fic for the Songkran Fest 2024 event. It's pretty dialogue-heavy😅

Ao3

Part of yours

Summary:

After so many years of sneaking around, Pat and Pran are finally accepted by each other's families.

Or

Pat joins in with Pran's family during songkran.

"It's going to be Songkran soon."

At night Pat says. His arms hang loosely around his lover's torso.

"So what?"

Pran ask in return, still paid more attention to the headphone reviews than the conversion.

"You want to go out?"

He pushes Pat's hand away a little, making it easier for him to grab a pencil for his note. With the discount, this one will be in the budget. It would be worth it if the reviews were true.

"Nah, not really..."

And now Pat's head is in his lap. Demand attention.

"It's just... Ugh! I don't even know! After grandpa passed, we don't even Rodnam properly anymore. When it was Songkran, we just laid around the house together. Order something to eat, maybe. It's been what? Since high school?"

"But ink has been there these past few years, you know? Apparently, Pa also went to Rodnam with her parents too." Pat complain.

"So?"

"Ink lives hours away. Our houses are right next to each other! Don't you see how ridiculous this is?!"

"You actually want to Rodnam my parents?"

That was quite a surprise. Pran didn't think Pat even wanted to be in the same room with them before, and now he wants to Rodnam them? Go sit there at their feet, ask for their blessing, and act like a sweet obedience child. Pat? With his parents?

"Eh... maybe?"

Pat looked pretty hesitant with his answer, but after a moment of silence, he did not change it.

"We can try."

"Really?"

"So you just want to vent but not actually do it?"

"No! I want to do it! Really! For real!"

"Yeah, yeah. It's not like they don't know we live together."

"They know?"

"I'm pretty sure they know. No one has said anything yet, but... I don't know. They are not stupid, you know. And lately, we didn't even try to hide."

"I don't think my mom is going to flip just because I asked if you could come pay respect to her. Maybe she will flip if I tell her I'm going to pay respect to yours. But I don't think she will ask, so I will probably just not mention it and skip that conversation."

"I will have you know, she has come quite far."

Pat made a face.

"I hope that's true."

"That's final, then. We're going to be at my grandmother's on the 14th, and Uncle Pok's family will probably be there. Aunt Pann too. I'm not bringing you with me that day this year. Let's start with just my parents first. From 12 to 16, other than 14, you can pick any day."

"Kay"

.

He is the one who tells his boyfriend that his mom will be fine with him coming in on Songkran, 'intruding' on family time, but will she really?

Pran wants to say she definitely will. But still, he was scared.

If he decides not to go through with it, Pat will understand. He might be teasing him for a bit for chicken out of something he suggested himself, but he will understand.

He can still scrub the plan.

Nah.

What is he? A coward? Definitely NOT.

.

"My mom agreed."

She acts like she knows and has been fine with their relationship all along. Pran is not sure who she tries to deceive—herself or him.

It seems pointless.

Well, this attitude is better than before, for sure, and he is not about to question it.

"I never think I'm going to live to see the day your mom accepts me as her son-in-law."

Pat pretends to swoon.

"What son-in-law? I have no husband."

Pran retaliate. The word 'yet' nearly got out without thinking.

"One day, you will."

Is it bad that he got a butterfly from that? Just a little, he swears.

"Let the bill actually pass first, then we can talk."

"Awww, I know you want me."

"Don't be stupid."

Pran laughs, pushing Pat away.

"What about your dad?"

Pat made a face.

"He didn't say anything. My mom says she is happy you want to join us, and my dad keeps his quiet—no complaints, no weird noise of disapproval, nothing, just quiet, so yeah, all is well."

.

"Did you know my dad never joined my mom's family on Songkran before they married?"

"Don't your parents marry less than a year after they met?"

"You are no fun."

"You love me."

"Yeah, I love you. You little joy killer."

.

"Pat, why does your Nam Ob come in a plastic bottle?"

"What's wrong with it?"

"Where do you even find Nam Ob that comes in a plastic bottle? I swear it's only come in a glass bottle. And what brand is this? It smells weird."

"It's not! It from 7–11. It literally sits there in front of the drink shelf in 7-11. You just dropped by there this evening. How come you don't see it?"

"You buy Nam Ob at 7-11? Wow, just wow."

If he sees Nam Ob at 7-11, he probably buys it there too instead of going to the other shop just to buy one thing every year, but Pat didn't need to know that.

.

"Why can't we just pour the Nam Ob straight from the bottle into their hands?"

"Pat, I swear."

"What? What's wrong with that? Korn has done it too!"

"Yeah, and Korn is the exact same type as my mom."

"Next, you're going to suggest we use that plastic water bowl you got as a package deal with Nam Ob to catch the water during the time we Rodnam my parents."

"It sure would be a whole lot easier to clean compared to that delicate, unpractical little glass tray with pedestal you brought. THAT gives me a scare of my life every moment I have to hold it. The plastic bowl will not."

"Why glass, by the way? If you want to go for traditional, shouldn't it be the gold or silver one? Or maybe Benjarong? Do we use Benjarong for this?"

"My mom likes it. She is the one who brought a set that was used during my dad's Songkran every year. I think there is another set for her parents too, but I was too young back then, so I don't remember much."

"Did you pick what you will bring as a gift yet?"

"Is the tea box set good enough? It's a premium tea from Doi Mae Salong. Super fine plucking too. Your mom loves tea, right?"

"Shouldn't it be some type of cloth?"

"Umm, why?"

Pran sigh.

"If I wronged you in any way before, please forgive me."

If you ask, Pat will tell you that he is 100% sure he was the one who was wronged by them, not the other way around. Sadly, this is what he asked for, so he will have to suck it up.

Having to sit through an awkward meal and an even more awkward family ritual where he clearly out of place isn't that enjoyable, but the fantasy of having the main door open for him is too great for anything to weigh him down.

At least it's going to be done soon.

"I wish you good health. Anything you think of, let it become true. Let your life and career be more and more prosperous."

The blessings are as generic as they can be. Nothing is meaningful like what Pran gets.

Pat is just glad he gets any blessings at all.

The brief touch at the top of his head feels surprisingly nice. Better than he thinks it will be. And with that, the ceremony is done.

Now Pat can pretend to be a good child who wants to help tidy everything up in earnest and escape the scenes for a while. He is grateful for the fact that after so many years of sneaking around, he finally gets to be an invited guess, but he is also in urgent need of alone time away from their eyes.

If Pran can come with him for a bit, that would be great, but at the moment, it seems like the most Pran could do is distract his parents while Pat flees.

.

Pran is still with his dad when Dissaya approaches him at the front of the house, where he is putting all their belongings in his car.

Due to the lack of topics he can think of, Pat just started thanking Pran's mom again for today. It's a little too uneasy, but that's pretty much all he does all day.

Her acknowledgement is practically permission for him to marry her son, for all he cares. Never think he will ever see this day, really.

She sighs and breathes in deeply. Her eyes make Pat paranoid. Pran's beloved mother will never be Pat's favorite person.

"Pran is my son. He will always be my precious little boy. I didn't approve of him being so close with you before because I didn't want him to make the same mistake as me. I will admit that I judged you too harshly and too soon. You make Pran happy, have been for quite some time now. If Pran wants you to be part of our family, then yes, I can look past the other things and accept you."

This little speech of hers makes Pat want to roll his eyes.

Madam Dissaya sure is pretentious.

But contrary to what Pran may think, he does practice self-restraint. So, of course, he thanks her again.

Today is a success.

"Since they now officially know about us, I can openly go into the house wherever, right?"

Pat slides one hand onto Pran's knee before asking teasingly. His boyfriend seems to be in a very good mood, since he let it sit there without starting to lecture him on the topic of the dangers of carelessness while driving.

"Don't test my mom's patience too much."

Pran scolds him, but there is clearly mirth in his voice.

"You mom say I make you happy~"

"You do"

Those two words sound so loving. Pat can help but melt a little.

"She says she accepts me as a part of the family."

He brags further. This time, Pran was actually surprised.

"What? Really? Word by word, or?"

"Word-by-word"

His love reaction makes him feel all puff up. Like that cute little bird he saw on the timeline.

"Is my mom proposing to you for me?"

Pran laugh. His hand is playing with the hand on his knee now.

"It's a yes, by the way."

"I didn't ask yet, you dorks."

"No need. My beloved mother-in-law already asked for you."

"I should be a good son and marry who she picks then."

"Yeah, you better."

"That bill—should we try to win the title of the first couple to register after it passes?"

"Sure, I want to be the first in everything, don't you know?" Pat jokes.

If this is Pran's hint for him to propose, he wouldn't be opposed to it. More than ready, actually.

Suddenly, there is something cold sitting on his finger.

"If you don't like this one, the shop allows us to return it and pick up a new one in a 30-day time frame. There will be some fee, of course."

Pat nearly crashed the car.

#this was adorable #I miss them #thank you for bringing them back #it's so nice to read a fanfic where you can trust the author to know the cultural setting #also not Pran always telling Pat to pay attention to the road and then PROPOSING to him while Pat is driving #like sir what did you expect 😂😂 #bad buddy the series #patpran #fanfic

[akkrosu]

This Is A Gay Asian Rant About BL Comments Made By Some Queer Westerners I See Sometimes.

So you know of those gays (usually white) that made dumb tiktok dancing to list of countries that legalized same sex marriage and list of countries that discriminate against LGBTQIA+ poeple as a way to say something racist. yeah i kinda got the same vibes from some comments regard how asian BL is homophobic just cause they don't live up to queer western standard. look, i'm not saying that some BLs and their creators don't deserve criticism regard how they capitalized/exploited queerness for an easy cash grab.

But people need to understand that Asian countries despite recent progress are still very much culturally conservatives. so when people says that thai bl is homophobic and all the characters looks like bunch of straight guys, which is true for some olders thai BLs i'm not gonna denied that. but after all this time and newer BLs generally being very queer and most of creators being out queer themself and poeple still making these comments, i'm annoyed.

And don't get me start on the actors. you don't know them! why are you making assumption and calling them queerbaiter just cause they acts in bl. like maybe they're straight, maybe they're not but what they're definitely doing is making queer content for you know, queer people here. so when you made halfass comments about their sexuality what do you think that made other queer people who still in the closet feels. and when you add the nationality to that, "these thai bl pair are this and that, this korean actor is so ungrateful for his bl past", etc. when our societies are still very much still in progress regard LGBTQIA+ acceptance. it make us living here feels fucking awful like somehow we're lesser queer than people in the west just cause we don't have citibank at pride or some shit.

And the shittiest in my humbled opinion are comments regard censored chinese bls. people do know like, that the creators making these bls are risking their livelihoods for this. that these shows getting make at all are miracles. yes it sucked that they're censored but they're still very much queer shows making by queer people who want to express thier queerness despite the chinese government being the chinese government. when people dimissing these shows as not belonging in queer media, you're also dimissing their creators and audiences as not belonging in the community.

Look what i want to say is that we're trying our best over here, and maybe our best are not up to your liking. the ways we talk and express our queerness maybe still can be perceived as problematic by western queer standard. but these media are our house and you're the guests. for people aren't shitty we appreciated that you're here engaging and loving our media, this is your home too and you're welcome in it. i can speak for myself that i very much love being here on tumblr and interacting with people from all over the world who love BL. but for people who are being shitty sometimes about asian bl.

YOU'RE THE GUESTS, BEHAVE!

#“you're the guests behave” #shout it from the rooftops #i think we all tend to forget sometimes that Asian media is first and foremost made by and for Asian people #that we get to watch it at all is insane #think back to a few years ago when you had watch fan-subbed copies on some questionable website #because they weren't on any platforms we could get to #i hate people talking about 'queerbaiting actors' because actors are real people and it's not our place to question their sexuality #if they want to tell us they will but if they don't want to share it then it's none of our business #even if they do tell us it's none of our business really #and I applaud and look up to all openly queer creators (whether actors or other) because being hard is out in any environment #whether that's the Western world or the Asian one #hell i'm not out to most people in my life even though i was raised in a super 'progressive' environment #thanks op for the reminder to be nice and to put what we watch into context with the world around us #bl drama #asian lgbtq dramas #asian ql

[akkrosu]

“The person who keeps the precepts with utmost rigidity will become happy and prosperous. The precepts give you insurances. The first precept, is life insurance.” VEGAS + PETE | KinnPorsche (2022) : Episode 9 / Episode 14.

#kinnporsche #kinnporsche the series #i am feeling things #and it's reminding me why i loved this show and continue to love it

[akkrosu]

Info for writer in Thai series fandom: Holidays and Festivals

In my opinion, most holidays and festivals can be sorted by their relevance into a few categories, like the royal family, religion, or something inbetween. If its origin is something related to the royal family, it is likely that it will have fewer activities for people who are not government officers or students to do than when it relates to religion.

Piyamaharaj Day

Date : Oct 23

King Chulalongkorn (or Piyamaharaj) Day is to commemorate the day King Chulalongkorn passed away. King Chulalongkorn made many contributions in his reign, like the educational system, military affairs, national communication, the state railway, and the Slave Liberation Act without bloodshed in Thailand. Piya (ปิย) means beloved and Maharaj (มหาราช) means the Great King. As the name suggests, he was really popular. Many people have his picture in their house or their shop. He is also somewhat considered sacred, and some people will make a wish to him. The offerings that people believe he liked consist of brandy, cigars, shrimp paste rice, pink roses, and other general offerings. 

Activities

The various departments will send their representatives to lay wreaths of flowers to pay homage at his statue and make merit in His Majesty King Chulalongkorn's name. People who loved him will do that too. Many government agencies, schools, and universities will also hold exhibitions to educate the public about his life and work.

The current queen’s birthday Date : Jun 3

The current king’s birthday Date : July 28

Activities Most government agencies and schools will set up the king or queen's picture, decorate it, and arrange a place for people to sign their name to wish them a happy birthday. They might also hold exhibitions about their lives and the work they do for the public too.  I'm glad I didn't have to do it anymore. It's really hard to make an informative board when there is so little information in the first place.

Coronation Day

Date : May 4

In Thailand, we call it Chat-Mong-Khon day. Chat (ฉัตร) means several-tiered umbrella. In this case, it is nine-tiered, symbolizing the sovereign. Its Thai name refers to the ceremony they do on the date that the coronation of the current king happens. Originally, this ceremony was considered a private ceremony of the King, held in the royal court, but later it became a national holiday.

Activities

There are none, but like every special day and occasion in Thailand, it was encouraged to make merit on this day.

The Royal Ploughing Ceremony

Date : May, at the beginning of the month, depends on what day is the most auspicious according to astrology.

The main purpose of the ceremony is to boost the morale of farmers across the nation. The highlight is the sacred bull's choice, which will predict the amount of rain and which product will flourish, and the rice sowing, which won't really have a chance to grow because the audience will collect it up immediately as it is believed to bring luck and help the crop grow when they mix the seed in. After the ceremony, the model farmer usually received a plaque of honor from the king or representative. 

Activities

Other than in the ceremony, there are none.

Magha Puja

Date: The 15th day of the waxing moon (full moon) of the 3rd month according to the Thai lunar calendar.

A day celebrates a gathering that was held between the Buddha and 1,250 of his disciples who came to see the Buddha without being summoned. From the tale, all of them are already Buddhist saints (Arhat) and all of them are direct disciples ordained by the Buddha himself. 

Activities

Go to the temple, abstaining from all sins, offer alms or make merit by giving freedom to animals (release birds or fish) that got caught-about this one, I must say that it's a thing you shouldn't do on a whim. Too many people do it without any consideration for the environment or even whether the animals they release will survive. They do it just because it's a "tradition". Their actions also create demand for birds or fish that wouldn't get caught otherwise. It's more sin than merit at this point.  Listen to a sermon and go wian tian (เวียนเทียน) which is to walk with lighted candles in hand around a temple in the evening.

Visakha Bucha, or Vesak

Date: The 15th day of the waxing moon of the 6th lunar month or, in other words, the full moon day of the Visakha (visakha is the name of the month in the lunar calendar).

It is a day that marks the three most important events in Buddhism, namely the birth, enlightenment, and death of Gautama Buddha, with all three events taking place on the same day but in different years according to Thai interpret.

Activities

The same thing you do on Magha Puja.

Asanha Bucha

Date: The full moon day of the 8th month of the lunar calendar.

It is the day that Gautama Buddha gave his first sermon, the Dhammacakkappavattana Sutra, to Kondanna, Bhaddiya, Vappa, Mahanama, and Assaji. The day after Asanha Bucha will be the day Buddhist Lent starts.

Buddhist Lent or, in Thai, Khao Phansa.

"Khao Phansa" means "Rains Retreat", which means all monks must stay at any temple during the rainy season. Because the monks in Buddha's time had a duty to make pilgrimages to animals and spread the Dharma and teachings to the people in various places. There is no need to have a fixed place to live, even in the rainy season. The villagers blamed them for stepping on the seedlings and other crops until they were damaged. Therefore, the Buddha laid down a Buddhist Lent regulation for the monks to stay stationary for three months in the rainy season. 

Activities

Because Asanha Bucha and Khao Phansa are next to each other, sometimes the activities get mixed up. For Asanha Bucha, we do the same thing we do on Magha Puja and Visakha Bucha days. Khao Phansa will have more occasional things happen, but like I say, it can get mixed. One day is not a big deal at all. There will be a Buddhist ceremony, as well as preparations for the monks' and novices' residence to be in good enough condition to be used for three months during Buddhist Lent. There will also be a Candlelight Procession (Phi-Tee-Hae-Tian-Phan-Sa:) in which we will take special candles (one of the popular activities is to cast that candles by providing materials such as wax, candle wicks, crucibles, and pans for the crowd to use to make them together in a public place such as in front of the mall), we make before Khao Phansa Day, go to the monastery to present the candle to the monk, then put candles into the temple, and light candles to worship the Three Jewels. There are also other activities, such as offering clothes to the monk, praying that they will conduct themselves within the framework of the Five or Eight Precepts, listening to sermons, and the Dharma. You can choose to participate as much or as little as you want. It is up to your faith and abilities. For monks, there will be a lot of other activities, but for ordinary people, I think this will be all. At the end of Buddhist Lent there will be Tak Bat Devo festival.

The Vegetarian Festival, or Tesakan Gin Jay (เทศกาลกินเจ)

Date: Start on 1st day of the 9th lunar month according to the Chinese calendar and last 9 days.

It is came from Taoist tradition. During the fastival people who choose to paticipate will only eat food that prepared without meat or products of animal origin (e.g. milk, eggs, honey, fish sauce, gelatin, collagen) and not flavored with strong smell vegetables such as garlic, onions, spring onions, shallots, chives, and cilantro, some also Including hot and spicy spices.

Moon Festival

Date: The full moon day of the 8th month according to the lunar calendar.

It is a traditional Chinese cultural festival that takes place in the middle of autumn to celebrate the harvest. Some households will celebrate it with their family, some don't. The ceremony will be held in private, so I'm not sure how popular it actually is, but the mooncakes sure are.

Chinese New Year

Date: The 1st day of the 1st month in the Chinese calendar.

Thais of Chinese descent will follow the tradition for 3 days: pay day (wan jai/วันจ่าย), pay respect day (wan wai/วันไหว้) and travel day (wan tiao/วันเที่ยว).

Pay Day is the day before the end of the year. It is a day when we have to buy food, fruits, and various offerings before the shops close for a long vacation.

On Worship Day, the day starts in the early morning by paying homage to "Bài lǎoyé" (拜老爺 / 拜老爷) which is a form of worship to various gods. The offering is three meats (Sasae, Sam Cheng), pork, duck, and chicken, and liquor, tea, and paper money. After that, we pay respect to "Pai Pae Bo" (拜父母), which is to pay respect to ancestors, parents, relatives, and relatives who have passed away. This will be completed no later than noon. The offerings consisted of sa sae, sweet and savory dishes (mostly done as the deceased once liked), as well as the burning of paper money, gold paper, and paper clothes to dedicate to the deceased. Then the whole family will be gathered to eat and exchange red packets afterward. Finally, we will pay homage to "Pai Ho Hia Tee" (拜好兄弟), which is respect for the spirits of the deceased brothers and sisters. The offerings will be kanom keng, kanom tian, taro in syrup, silver and gold paper, along with firecrackers to ward off evil and for good luck.

The day of travel or holding day is the new year's day. It is the first day of the first month of the year. Today, it is a tradition called "Pai Jia," which is an occasion to go to another's house to wish them luck and ask for blessings from the elders and loved ones.

Qingming

Date: 15 days after the spring equinox.

It is believed that Qing Ming Day is one of the three days when the human world and the spirit world are closest to each other. So during this period, it is a custom to go sweeping and pay respect to ancestors' tombs. Moreover, during Qingming, the weather is good. Therefore, it is suitable for the descendants to travel to the graves of their ancestors to pay homage, sweep and clean around the graves of their ancestors.

( He is coming to me's Thai name is He came to Qingming next to my grave.)

Songkran or Thai New Year

Date: 13 April

The word "Songkran" comes from Sanskrit and means "moving." It refers to how the zodiac sign is moving, which means the new year. Songkran is a traditional family practice where water is the main element of the ceremony. Basically, there will be  1.Bathing Buddha images at home and at temples for good fortune and making merit, offering food to monks ***By bathing, I mean gently pouring water from a water bowl (ขันน้ำ) onto the Buddha images. 2.Gently pouring water from a water bowl onto each other and wish each other luck in the new year. It will be more formal when it's between an elder and a child than between friends. 3. Ask for forgiveness for something that has already passed or a New Year's wish from an elderly person. 4.Loading sand into the temple. It is believed that it will bring auspiciousness, happiness, prosperity, and a lot of money, like the grains of sand that are carried into the temple. Another belief is that taking the sand that is attached to the feet from the temple is a sin. Therefore, to not commit a sin, we should bring it back to make up for what we take during the past year.  It is mainly a family event, so it is also a time when most people travel back home to their family. Many people work far from home and don't have many chances to go back, so in the Songkran period they will go back and have a family gathering.

The water fight is not really traditional, but it's a main event that has many people waiting eagerly now.

Loy Krathong Festival

Date: The 15th waxing moon of the 12th month according to the Thai lunar calendar.

Loy means float, and Krathong, in this context, means banana leaf vessel or floating basket. The traditions vary by region, but one thing they all have in common is that it takes place at night and includes float Krathong. The purpose of this event is to either worship the goddess of water, Ganga, pronounced in Thai as "Khong-ka", or to worship the Buddha, or both. The krathong that is used in this event can be made from a lot of things, such as banana leaf, banana stalk pith, foam, coconut shell, or bread. There are many beliefs around this event. For lovers, sometimes the pair will use one Krathong together or go float it together and try to make it stick together after it goes into the water, as it is believed to be a good sign for a pair of lovers. During fastival, the atmosphere can be quite romantic. There is also a belief that you can float away all suffering along with the krathong by cutting nails, hair, and money and putting them into the krathong before floating it.

Yi Peng Festival

Date: the 13th to the 15th waxing moon of the 12th month according to the Thai lunar calendar or the 15th waxing moon of the 2nd month according to the Thai Lanna lunar calendar. On the same day as the Loy Krathong Festival.

Yi Peng is actually a variation of Loy Krathong, but instead of only Krathong, it will also have Khomloy, which is some kind of hot-air balloon, and it will actually happen two days before. The Yi Peng starts on the 13th day of the waxing moon, which is considered "Wan-da(วันดา)" or the day of the preparation to make merit at the temple. When it comes to the 14th day of the waxing moon, Father Oui (grandpa/elderly man), Mae Oui (grandma/elderly woman), and those who have faith will go together and conduct themselves within the precepts, listen to the Dharma, and make merit at the temple. A large krathong will be made in the temple courtyard. Inside the krathong will be food and other consumables. Anyone can bring something to make a contribution. Those items will be given to the poor to make merit. On the 15th day of the waxing moon, the big Krathong at the temple and the small personal Krathong will be floated on the river.

Index

#very interesting #yeah the stickers thing on valentine's has always been funny to me #thai culture #thailand

[akkrosu]

The DFF Experience: A Dead Friend Forever Fandom Round Up

I had the wild idea of compiling links to all the various metas, theories, and other resources for DFF for everyone to use so that links and information were kind of all in one place. I dragged @shannankle along for the ride, and we combed through the tag to find all the things we could.

We most likely have missed something even though we tried to be as thorough as possible - if you think there is something we over looked that should be added let us know in the replies or the tags; if you write meta or other resource posts in the future, please tag us and we can add it to the post.

With that, please enjoy The DFF Experience!

Media: 

Official Trailer

Pre-Release/Pilot Trailer

Behind The Scenes

No More Dream - Barcode

Without Me - Bump

Reviews: 

Dead Friend Forever is More Than Just A 90s Slasher Film Imitation by @syrena-del-mar

Dead Friend Forever is a Marvel of Mystery Writing by @lurkingshan

Theories: 

Not Jin’s Video Theory by @raelle-writing

Not Jin’s Laptop Theory by @raelle-writing

Hints at the timeline/dates things happen by @yellingaboutkp

Why Uncle Dang Was Killed by @befuddledcinnamonroll

Is Jin final girl? by @blismytherapy

Non is dead (dead men tell no tales) by @mikuni14

Why So Many Maskys? by slayerkitty

Tan is New by @tbhimnoteasyonmyself

Are The Boys Being Drugged (Are you High, Top?) by @italianpersonwithashippersheart

Non isn’t dead (alive men tell tales) by @respectthepetty

Trances are involved by @live-from-flaturn

Sacrifices are involved (dead men tell tales if they’re ghosts) by @killiru

Are the hallucinations from infrasound (What? I Can't Hear You!) by shannankle

Meta:

On Body Language 

Mr. Keng by @wen-kexing-apologist

Touch in episode 5 by shannankle

On Color

Episodes 1-4 by shannankle

Episodes 5-6 by shannankle

Episode 7 by shannankle

Episode 8 by shannankle

Background Noise

Movie Poster Meta by @syrena-del-mar

Movie Poster Meta by @lukaherehelp

Space and Framing in Episode 5 by @shannankle

Framing of Masky by shannankle

Non’s Apple Picture by @blmpff

Keng’s Phone Case by @thepetesimp with contributions by @twig-tea

Analyzing Horns by @yellingaboutkp

Stick Theory by @firstkanaphans

Catholicism by @demiromanticmickey

Phee’s Finger Tattoo by @yellingaboutkp

Non’s Manga by @scarefox

On “Greasy” by @forkaround

Character Analysis

On Jin’s cowardice and bravery by @yellingaboutkp

On Por’s moment in the spotlight by @leconcombrerit

Phee and Jin as parallels in episode 7 by @raelle-writing

Por and other characters’ roles as leaders by @leconcombrerit

On Fluke by @fracturediron

On Non’s parents by @fracturediron

On Non as a "hidden character" by @flamevbirdv

Miscellaneous 

Nine Circles of Hell: DFF Episode 7 by @syrena-del-mar

On Police Corruption by @raelle-writing

Squicks and Triggers by @wen-kexing-apologist

Language Notes by @visualtaehyun

Fandom’s Canvas:

Art by @leconcombrerit

Get Lost and Die

PheeNon Preview Post Doodle

Art by @acekimagenda

PhiJinNon

Art by @kinnbig

Final Girl

Art by @darcyisdelulu

PhiNon

I Love Them Your Honor

Fun Facts to Know and Tell: 

Non refers to his brother New as “P’New” during his argument with his parents in episode 8, confirming that New is the older of the two. 

White refers to Por as P’Por when he’s alone confirming he is younger and not lying about his age

Character Profiles by @raelle-writing

Based on screenshots, White and Phee do not go to the same school as the embroidery is different. 

Tee's Uniform Shirt Por's Uniform Shirt

Phee's Uniform Shirt White's Uniform Shirt

#oh i love lists #thank you for the work OP! #i'll be eating my way through everything i haven't looked at yet like a hamster starving to death #dead friend forever the series #dead friend forever #dff the series

[akkrosu]

Love is rigging a popularity contest to make sure your future husband wins

#😭😭😭 #THE SOFT RED GLOW #THE SMILE ON THIS FACE #heaven official's blessing #tian guan ci fu #tgcf #hua cheng #hualian

[akkrosu]

New Skin

#oh this is GORGEOUS #i absolutely love the soft colors and lines #(i have no idea how art works i'm just babbling because i don't know how to describe how amazing this is) #heaven official's blessing #tian guan ci fu #tgcf #hua cheng

[akkrosu]

TGCF THAI EDITION VOLUMES 1-8 FULL COVER ILLUSTRATION!

cropped hd version｜bonus illustrations part 1 & part 2

#how the fuck are these so beautiful #i love thailand but especially for this #it flows so well and the light and the colors #everything feels so fluid and in movement #i'll go cry in a corner now #tian guan ci fu #tgcf #heaven official's blessing

[akkrosu]

Dead Friend Forever: Squicks and Triggers

Hello friends, I am here to sing my praises for Dead Friend Forever and implore as many people as possible to watch it. I know that it is in the horror/slasher genre and there are some pretty heavy things going on in it, so in case you want to jump aboard the incredible writing, story-boarding, editing train that is DFF but are worried about the content, here are as many of the possible squicks and triggers I could find. Color coded time stamps are where something plot relevant happens. If you are not able to watch that scene you are welcome to reach out to me via DM or ask for a summary of what occurs: 

Episode 1

00:31- A bloody altar with offerings that include intestines

00:43-00:51- creepy masked figure wielding an ax followed by significant blood splatter

01:00-01:19- intro sequence includes creepy masked figure, gun, bloody handprints, knife

1:35-1:55- blood and intestines, mentions of ritual animal sacrifice, close up on intestines crawling with maggots. Reference to mass suicide (These are all only on screen for less than a second at a time, and interspersed among the primary visual of the main characters sitting in the back of a truck)

02:52-03:00- Vomiting      

16:17-16:30- two audio cue semi-jumpscares, no visuals and nothing happens 

18:40-18:41- Jumpscare 

19:16- 19:28- random disembodied hand painted completely black appears from nowhere and slides across a character’s crotch

20:10-20:14-  jump scare of creepy masked figure and under scoring 

20:33-20:48- Blood on ground 

25:12-25:23- sounds of screaming 

25:50 - blood trail on the ground 

26:01- masked figure appears 

26:12- character run straight in to a sharp branch and is impaled 

29:41-29:45- blood

30:16-30:19- blood, including blood pouring out of a mouth 

30:34-30:38- blood, including blood pouring out of a mouth 

36:38-36:40- jumpscare

37:37- Blood, catatonic person impaled by branch visible throughout the scene

39:28-39:29- jumpscare

39:33- 39:35- creepy masked figure

40:10-40:12- jumpscare 

40:12-42:27- scene is interspersed with visual of unconscious, impaled character

Please note 42:27 is the end of the episode, next episode preview occurs after that, there is potentially triggering stuff in the preview. For space saving reasons I am not going to do the previews, just skip them. 

Episode 2

General Content Warning: At many different points in the show you will see a character catatonic and impaled laying on the couch. He will (for the most part) remain this way throughout Episode 2-4. From this point forward I am only going to add squicks and triggers around that character unless some sort of change or special attention is called to the character. 

Episode 2 begins at 00:40

004:47-05:09- intro sequence

05:26-5:45- knocking, lights flickering, objects falling and breaking

06:04-7:00- horror movie shit, door unlocks, smoke appears, creepy masked figure enters with heavy breathing, close up on mask with blood, cut after a swipe with an ax

10:48-10:52- flashback to the creepy shit that happened in the bathroom [6:04-7:00]

1:47-12:49- close up of bloody impalement 

15:14-15:26- a raised and bumpy rash akin to boils 

15:26-15:28- creepy masked figure seen in mirror

23:18-23:25- creepy sound

24:30-24:32- close up of the impalement wound with squelch sound effect 

26:38: jumpscare

26:59-27:02- egregious amounts of blood pouring out of every visible orifice 

27:04-27:12- visual of blood dripping down a character’s face from the eye sockets and the mouth 

27:13-27:55- character being strangled to unconsciousness, appearance of creepy masked figure in background

28:00-28:04- disembodied, agonized screaming 

28:32-28:35- bloody rag and knife 

36:52-36:53- man drives straight through a garotte stretched across the road 

37:06- 37:11- decapitated body spurting blood

38:02-38:04- close up of decapitated head

38:49-38:58- gagging sounds 

39:09-39:11- decapitated head 

39:53- jumpscare of creepy masked figure

43:17-43:20- decapitated head

43:33-43:40- decapitated head, decapitated body, something starts moving underneath the decapitated body’s t-shirt

Episode 3

Recap is 00:00-03:09 and contains potentially triggering content (as listed above) 

03:10-03:16- decapitated body and then decapitated head depicted on screen

06:50-07:17- Show intro- same deal

10:36-10:38- dead body 

12:27-12:47- close up of decapitated head, followed by pooling blood and the sound of flies, squelching and something moving underneath the shirt of the decapitated corpse

12:58-13:00- something moving underneath the shirt of the decapitated corpse with squelching

13:11-13:28- something moving underneath the shirt of the decapitated corpse with squelching, close up of decapitated head, dog sniffing at the decapitated corpse

15:25-15:27- jumpscare, creepy masked figure throws an ax 

22:04- character grabs at the impaled object, squelching sound

25:18-25:21: blood

26:12-26:18-  significant blood smear 

26:49-27:09- bloody tapestries, bloody altar, bloody statues

27:23-27:33- bloody tapestries, bloody altar, blood splatter

28:37-28:46- bloody figurines, intestines and other organs covered in blood and maggots underscored with creepy piano music 

30:22-30:28- bloody altar, bloody statuettes 

30:29-31:40- attempted ax murder by creepy masked figure, it approaches from behind, its mask is covered in blood, there is a grapple but no one is maimed

32:50- 34:12- creepy masked figure on screen pushing over empty coffins to find where people are hiding 

34:43-35:02- characters trapped in coffin 

36:38-37:49- attempted ax murder #2, two characters being strangled, creepy masked figure on screen 

38:43-39:21- seizure on screen 

40:27-40:52- character threatened with gun

40:57-41:06- creepy masked figure

Episode 4

00:10-00:40 - Show Intro

00:40- - Show recap, includes potentially triggering content from Ep 3

01:47-02:26- seizure on screen

03:20-05:30- character held at gunpoint 

05:32-05:40- close up of a bloody impalement injury followed by choking sounds from seizing character

06:05-07:30- close up of a wound which is then sutured (suturing begins at 06:42)

08:15-09:09- characters trapped in coffin, starting to lose oxygen (they do escape)

11:42-11:56- creepy masked figure 

12:23-12:25- jumpscare

13:07-13:09- silhouetted figure lurking in background with creepy whisper sound effects 

13:35-13:49- figure reappears in background with creepy whisper sound effects, character shown covered in blood 

13:57-13:59- close up of blank faced character covered in blood

19:23-19:27- vomiting

20:19-20:24- vomiting

24:38-24:41-FLASHING LIGHTS

24:43-25:00- creepy masked figure, on screen seizure, lots of rapid camera cuts of someone choking interposed over the seizure

25:01-25:06- blood dripping out of an eye, eye opens red and full of blood

26:52-27:33- unconscious body sits up, turns head slowly, and then looms menacingly over someone while creepy music plays underneath 

27:36-27:49- very creepy smile, impaled object is slowly and painfully starting to be pulled out of someone’s body

28:00-30:24- creepy smile, gaping wound seeping blood, close up of wooden stake dripping blood, threatening character at gunpoint, struggling for a gun.

30:29-32:27 character death, distressed sobbing, CPR  

37:56-39:58- characters being threatened at gunpoint

NOTE REGARDING EPISODES 5-8: One of the main threads of episode 5-8 is pretty severe bullying, there are overtones of romantic feelings between an adult and a minor that does eventually lead to a sexual relationship, lots of mental illness related plot, etc. I am going to mark some of the more explicit scenes when it comes to this, but just want to warn in advance that I will not be able to time stamp everything because these are fundamental to the plot

Episode 5

00:10-00:40- show intro 

00:40-01:10- recap, which includes some potential triggers from ep 4

45:32-46:05- severe psychological distress

46:05-46:17 suicide attempt via drug overdose (interrupted before anything happens)

Episode 6

00:00-00:40- show intro 

15:05-17:26 scene contains hints at attraction between teacher and student

23:08-23:12- jump scare of creepy masked figure 

23:19-24:27- creepy masked figure + jumpscare

33:00-33:23- character being beaten

35:57-37:13- police interrogation that includes flashing camera lights

38:50-39:50- character in emotional distress while parents fight about him in his presence 

42:53-44:06- suicide attempt via drug overdose (interrupted with character being forced to spit pills out)

Episode 7

00:00-00:40- show intro

01:04-01:10- character being forced to spit out pills during suicide attempt (in the recap) 

19:00-19:02- use of the “r” word

24:00-24:23- creepy masked figure, character being strangled

26:10-30:00- clear attraction between teacher/student, including the teacher putting his hand on the student’s knee and holding hands

30:00-31:00- flirting and kissing between teacher and student (kissing begins at 30:34)

40:08-43:33- teacher/student with sex scene (sex with minor beginning at 41:34)

44:02-44:50- teacher/student sex scene 

45:00-45:23- revenge porn posted on social media, video of teacher/student sex visible

49:25- 49:54- psychological distress that includes character hitting himself in the head repeatedly

Episode 8

00:00-00:40- show intro

05:23-05:28- implication that character was hit by car

06:00-06:46- parents arguing about how bad their child is while he watches 

07:44- 08:42- emotional distress

09:20-09:22- child slapped by parent

11:07- 12:04-psychological distress

13:19-13:35- person impaled 

13:40-13:47- creepy masked figure

13:52-14:12- lots of blood coming out of orifices, strangulation, creepy masked figure 

14:12-15:17- Severe emotional and psychological distress

24:30-25:37- creepy masked figure + knife attack 

29:38-30:40- police interrogation

43:42-44:02- creepy masked figure and character being strangled 

#this is a fantastic list #and you can see the work put into this #there's color-colding and everything! #you have all my respect OP #dead friend forever #dff #dead friend forever the series #this is really helpful

[akkrosu]

Spare Me Your Mercy การุณยฆาต | TEASER

Fansub by me

Original clip here

#oh that's fantastic #thank you so much for subbing it! #previously i was working with trying to listen out for any of the ~20 words in Thai i know #and then a Portuguese sub on YouTube (i barely know any Portuguese) #so this is greatly helpful #spare me your mercy

[akkrosu]

Look, @dribs-and-drabbles, does the Thai Communal Wardrobe strike again?? I SWEAR I've seen that shirt before.

Here's Up wearing it in Step by Step:

Wandee Goodday Q5

05.02.24

#thai communal wardrobe #wandee goodday #step by step

[akkrosu]

Dead Friend Forever Is More Than Just A 90s Slasher Film Imitation

Oh man, I went in thinking I would just get a whole lot of gore and murder, and instead I'm getting a buttload of social class distinction, parental issues, mental health crises, organized crime, and a highly-likely revenge plot line.

The thing about Dead Friend Forever is that it starts unassuming, almost like an copy of all other teen slashers from the 90s. A group of friends, up in a cabin and suspects to a potential murder, become hunted one-by-one. A cliche slasher plot if I ever heard one. Until it’s not. This show is taking up a very big corner of my brain, so I’m going to delve deeper into it.

If you haven't watched episode 6 yet, spoilers up ahead.

Pulling inspiration from 90s slasher re-inventor, Scream

The first four episodes really set up the expectation that DFF was going to be another slasher, seemingly particularly influenced by Scream (1996). Scream was a turning point for slasher movies, signaling a shift in from the movies of the 80s to that of the 90s. It was the first of many movies to allow for the characters to be self-aware of what genre they're working in, where the characters knew of the slasher-movie tropes and attempted to do everything right to survive. Scream is also the first slasher to truly humanize the killers, and I don't mean by making them empathetic, but rather the killers were human, so they made human mistakes. Prior to Scream, the antagonists in slasher films were usually this supernatural villain that was just murder-hungry. But in Scream, the killers are all just regular people and would often make mistakes on their way to kill the protagonists, like a normal human would. It's why Scream was scary, the killer could be anyone, it wasn't this supernatural being. And even when you're making the right choices to escape, you still end up dead.

In Dead Friend Forever, we're getting so many of the same tropes that Scream had subverted. The group is working understanding exactly what they're facing; Fluke warning to not pull out the stake inside Por, Top wanting to split up in the temple while Phee, Jin and Tan veto against it expressly stating it would be like the horror movies, White not wanting to be left behind in the cabin. They all know what they shouldn't be doing while there is a killer on the loose. Also, it's why there's these funny little moments of the killer in DFF (i.e. having to steal the motorcycle to get back to the cabin). I'm not completely convinced that there isn't any paranormal activity or at least some type hallucinogen-component at play, but the way the killer acts is very human-like. Not to mention the parallel of Barcode (arguably the most popular actor in the show) getting slashed in the first minute of the show, eerily similar to how in the opening scene of Scream, Drew Barrymore (the most well-known of the cast) gets killed immediately.

The Benefits of Series Format versus Movie Format

The series format is where I think Dead Friend Forever is really shining the most. @wen-kexing-apologist made an awesome post on the directorial direction this show is taking, particularly in how since the first four episodes we have very little context as to why the killings are occurring or even the state of everyone's relationship, we're freely able to form opinions on each character. Similarly, prior to getting to know what happened to Non, I also thought Tee was the better one of the group. But here we are, two episodes later and I find him to be the most detestable of the bunch (which says something, when Por and Top are competing in this category).

We're seeing and experiencing the absolute hell that this friend group had actively made (sans Jin and Fluke that suffer from the bystander effect) Non's life out to be. In a regular slasher movie, especially ones that model themselves after Scream, we find out why the Killer is doing what he's doing to the victims in the last quarter of the movie, but the emotional value is a little skewed. The little amount of time we spend learning about what the victims did to the Killer usually still leaves you feeling at least a smidge of pity for the victims and some joy that the Final Girl made it. Here, the mass consensus is that each and every one of them should die.

And it comes back to the luxury of spending several episodes in a flashback to what lead up to the killings after the game of cat-and-mouse has begun. We're introduced to Non as an outsider, where everyone, but Jin, has already formed a bad opinion of Non. They already have a brutal nickname for him (read @forkaround's awesome analysis on the term 'Greasy'). They already established that he's an outsider in the classroom, but they make an active point of only referring to him as 'Greasy' and Non just accepts it. We see the friend group frame him, causing him to spiral twice to point of su*cide, proceed to prey on him into a money laundering scheme, get him caught in a criminal investigation, all while already undergoing mental health treatment. We're given that time to know and see the pain that Non is caused, the manipulation that he is put under, and ultimately the devastation that they've caused.

Dead Friends Forever is more than just another teen slasher, because it has time. And it's using it's time wisely, giving us bits and pieces of information in the beginning before delving into something more sinister than the killer on the loose, the original five. Run-of-the-mill bullying has turned into framing, assault and other criminal activity, even murder. And yet, while Non is the one that has disappeared (or died), the other five have been able to make a life for themselves without suffering any of the consequences. It's showing exactly what they have done to deserve everything that is coming to them.

Final Thoughts

Man, Be on Cloud is truly blowing it out of the water with this show. I'm actually a bit sad that it's only barely starting to get the recognition that it deserves, because in my opinion, it's just that good, BUT I also understand why it's had a sleepy start. It's in an place, a BL in one sense, but not exactly a BL in any other. I've said it before, but no matter what you think of BOC as a management company, the stories that they tell are unique and they have the artists that are competent enough to deliver. Be on Cloud has, allegedly, allowed the writers take the reign on the show, even if this means messing with the couples, so even more chaos is going to occur. This is, frankly, exciting to see and experience the story as they want it to be told.

I said this when I first saw Barcode in KinnPorsche deliver that heartbreaking cry, that boy knows how to cry. He was a newbie and his stole that scene. Now this is his third show under his belt and his acting chops only continue to improve, I truly can't wait to see what more he is able to do here in Dead Friend Forever. I love that Sammon is also enjoying what Barcode has able to bring forth in Non and that all her worries have been eased. I truly think that Barcode is going to have an incredible career ahead of him, whether in music or in acting.

Ta, on the other hand, also deserves his share of accolades. I wasn't sure of how to read to Phee in the first four episodes, but with the information that episode 6 has given us? The picture has cleared significantly and now, having rewatched his scenes, everything makes sense on why he seemed to be conniving. Episode 6 had some of the strongest performances and yet the biggest gasp I made was in the last minute. The singular tear rolling down Phee's cheek after having to perform the two-finger method, to have Non throw up the pills, and holding him in his arms? Quite literally jaw-dropping.

Sammon has a strong repertoire of shows, so I have complete faith that she knows what she's doing for Dead Friend Forever. I hope this becomes as much of a cult favorite, much like Manner of Death and Triage.

Anyways if you need me, I'll probably be stuck thinking about PheeNon for the next week until episode 7 airs.

#i'm already obsessed with this show and this just made it so much better #really nice insights op #especially to see how it's different from other horror movies and shows #seeing as i know nothing at all about the horror genre #dead friend forever

[akkrosu]

I don't know if anyone else does this but like my brain plays fill in the gaps and I write whole scenes in my head for most things I watch which is why I have so much to say all the goddamn time.

Anyway, I happened to write down this one. It's a canon-ish compliant how we got from A to B to C of Phaya waking up and going to Tharn's and a bit after that.

the you who is everything. 2.6k. pg-13 for sexy adjacent if you know you know.

It’s Tharn who gets ushered out of his room far too quickly, shining brown eyes with unshed tears and a rough unshaven cheek under Phaya’s palm. It’s Tharn who speaks no words but Phaya can feel his anguish as distinctly as his own. It’s Tharn who lets it happen because Nee is inconsolable and Phaya hazily watches as Tharn moves back to let her come forward. He wants more than anything to speak, to call out for him again but his consciousness slips and his fingers slacken without the steadiness of Tharn to hold onto.

It’s Tharn who is Wansarut. His beloved. Wansarut is Tharn. Phaya feels the tight boundaries of memories that are and aren’t his own. They belong to Master Garuda. Still, they are embedded in his skin and he feels their free edge, pushing and expanding in his mind. He grasps onto not the new memories, but a simple one he knows is his and his alone, his hand cupping Tharn’s throat, asking him not to leave. He knows he has searched without looking, yearned without truly knowing. This person who appeared in his life too many times to be a coincidence. Not a coincidence, a gift. Another chance to defy the will of an immodest god. Phaya curls his fingers against his palm when his thoughts slip to Chalothon. The slayer of his love. It’s like another dream as the nurses hustle and bustle around him, taking his vitals and consoling his sister. He feels someone try to take his amulet and he slams his hand down on top of them both.

“No,” he croaks, barely eeking out a whisper. Not for his safety, but because they can’t take what he gave to Phaya. She. They. His mind swirls faster and the hand slips away as he catches the thong of leather between his thumb and index finger, to keep it tight in his grasp. Tharn’s soul is in this stone that he tucks under his hospital gown. They can’t have it. No one can.

“P’Phaya—” Nee calls out to him and he peels his eyes open with a force it has never taken him before. Time has passed or at least he thinks it has.

He mumbles incoherently and she looks concerned, Dao behind her, holding her arm and her back.

“Tharn,” he whispers with more acuity.

Nee looks back at Dao, “We sent him home.”

Phaya tries to understand why, his face crinkling up and Nee must see the stress on his face. The tear that slips from his eye isn’t entirely his own. He cries and wets Phaya’s face.

“We’ll call him back,” Nee says immediately, trying to calm Phaya down, unused to seeing her brother cry, Dao tries to slow her down as she moves quickly to grab her phone.

“P’Phaya,” Dao tries as tries to split her focus on talking to him and dealing with Nee.

He doesn’t have it in him to speak but he repeats himself, “Tharn.”

It’s all he wants. Now. Forever.

***

When he wakes up a third time, alone and after visiting hours, he feels more centered in his body. His eyes open easily and he feels stronger and more like himself. He gently peels the tape from his canula and slips the needle out, pressing his palm down to try and stem the blood flow. His blood is sluggish and it stops quickly, which he is grateful for. He knows that he’s in no fit state and no nurse or doctor is going to let him go willing, so he creeps, barefoot, to the door and peeks his head out. It’s a gentle clutter of activity that comes with the night shift. Easily sifted through. So, he makes his way down the corridor till he sees a room marked STAFF and he opens it with a hard yank down on the closed lock that breaks under even his lesser strength. He closes the door and what catches his eye is a chair just out of his periphery and on it are some men’s clothes. He walks slowly over and grabs hold of them, raising the jeans up, and he mentally fist pumps the air because they look like they’ll work. He peels off his gown, wincing with the movement before he goes into the ensuite bathroom he sees on the other side of the room and splashes water over his face and under his armpits. He’s pretty sure someone gave him a sponge bath, he hopes it was Tharn, but he feels slightly more human and brushes his teeth with toothpaste and his finger to at least get the taste of the lake out of his mouth.

He looks at himself in the mirror, paler than he’s ever been, life barely in his lips. He’s the same. He’s exactly the same but entirely different. His brows, the slope of his nose and his mouth are all him but for a moment when he looks at himself, he isn’t himself. He’s him. The weight of heavy wings tugging on his spine and the sharp bite of talons when he curls his fingers into his hands.

Sakuna.

Garuda.

Naga.

Tharn.

He’s all that matters. He’s out there, alone, he could be hurt at any moment and Phaya can’t get to him. It sets a wave of panic rising inside him. He shakes it off and stands to the best of his ability. The only way he’s getting out of here is if no one out there believes he’s supposed to be in here. He stares himself in the eye and sees nothing out of the ordinary. He grips that image tight and does his best to embody that vision as he walks back to the door to make his journey out of the hospital.

***

He cradles his ribs the entire car ride to Tharn’s apartment. Every dip and ridge in the road lances him with pain. He can feel sweat building on the back of his neck and he tips his head back and tries to breathe it out. 10 more minutes. 10 more minutes and then he can be sure Tharn is safe.

It all comes tumbling out in a rush. I’m sorry I didn’t recognize you sooner. You’re only mine. Phaya feels the words like a burning itch under his skin. Tharn is the water, the only water that can slake his thirst and he wouldn’t deny Phaya that would he? No. Not now. Maybe not ever. Walking back, Tharn barely gets enough space between them and mumbles about the door and Phaya hears him but he won’t give him up, won’t let him change his mind, won’t let him deny them this reconciliation. He raises a hand wildly and flicks his wrist and a gust of air like a flap of a wing swings the door closed.

“Tharn,” he whispers, rubbing his nose along his. Tharn looks up at him with those big brown eyes. It’s so hard because he sees him imposed on her. Her who is him. It hurts his head so he strokes his palms down Tharn’s shoulders, down to his slim hips. Tharn is who he is now. Tharn who fell in love with Phaya between kicking sand at base camp and running after bad guys. Tharn who never leaves Phaya’s side. Tharn who is alive and Phaya loves him so very much.

“Phaya,” Tharn calls out to him with concern, hands coming up to his face, thumbs rubbing at what might be dark circles. He doesn’t dare look a second time.

Tharn is Phaya’s. No matter what. No matter what came before or what comes after. In all the sanity, Tharn belongs to Phaya only.

He looks at him because he wants to memorize Tharn’s face, the curve of his cupid’s bow, the strong line of his jaw, thick brows and fluttering eyelashes.

“I need you,” he admits. He needs Tharn like he needs breathing. His entire being has been shifted and remade with a gaping hole in his chest and he feels like he’s been trying to fill it longer than anything else in existence.

Tharn nods like he’s agreeing. He’ll give Phaya this. He’ll let him take without asking questions and Phaya’s grateful because he doesn’t have the answers, only spun-up confusion.

Phaya walks him back, fingers sliding to grasp Tharn’s shirt so that when they’re in his room, softly lit and twinkling, he can pull it off and dive back to that mouth.

Has it only been days since they last did this? Tharn’s beautiful golden skin barely lit as he lays back pulls Phaya in like a moth to a flame, erratic wings beating like the thrum of his heart. Phaya climbs over him to kiss him and Tharn immediately opens up, meeting him kiss for kiss, their mouths sliding against each other in wordless communication. I want you; have me.

Phaya takes his time blushing and bruising Tharn’s skin, littering his skin with marks that don’t penetrate further than the surface but they please that buzz inside his brain that says, people can see. His soul and mine are one. It’s the truest thing he knows as his fingers slide down Tharn’s throat and Tharn grabs his hand and presses a kiss to his knuckles.

His heart squeezes in his chest at the gesture and he skates his lips, tongue teasing until he reaches Tharn’s scar from the knife that almost took him from Phaya. He had previously skirted past it, careful in case it still gave Tharn pain but he tilts his head back, encouraging Phaya to keep up his tending to his body, so he kisses it once, twice, acknowledging its existence but also the truth that it didn't take what Phaya holds so dear to him.

It’s awkward when he tries to take Tharn’s pants off with one hand, kissing back up his chest to his mouth that is leaking breathy whimpers that Phaya wants to swallow down inside himself and keep them there with everything else he knows about Tharn. I did that, I give him that pleasure.

Tharn understands where he’s trying to go and he tips his head back up and focuses on unzipping his pants and shimmying them down his hips and around his thighs. Phaya leans off him enough to help him push them down off his knees and into a heap on the floor. He looks back up at Tharn who pulls on his bicep and tugs him back up to kiss him again, bolder than before and he slides his hand into Phaya’s hair, trapping him as he pulls him to lay across his naked body. There’s little more that he can do but whine as Tharn licks and sucks on his neck, giving him a hickey of his own. When he finally surfaces, leaning back against the bed, he’s smug and Phaya loves him all over again.

There are dark smudges under Tharn’s eyes and it worries Phaya, so he leans over and when Tharn closes his eyes, Phaya kisses his eyelid gently, the tip of his nose, and then his mouth.

“I missed you,” he says quietly and Tharn’s grip on him tightens.

There are a ton of questions that start circulating in his head, some his own, some pushing back from those now opened recesses but Phaya keeps his focus still locked on Tharn, the silence in the eye of the storm.

Phaya slinks down as best he can until he’s knees on the floor, sitting on his ankles, and there’s some apprehension in Tharn but Phaya calms it with soft strokes on his thigh. He won’t do it if Tharn doesn’t want him to. He kisses the thin skin on the inside of his knee, just above that, sucking on the skin and letting it go with a wet pop. He gets a perfect visual of Tharn’s whole body twitching like it’s on one thread from his head down to his toes, connected only to Phaya’s mouth.

“Tharn?” He asks, kissing a little further up but still in a safer zone.

Tharn licks his lips and nods, “Yeah?”

It’s still a question so Phaya kisses his mid-inner thigh nose rubbing before he bites, Tharn jumping with the unexpectedness of it, “Yeah?”

“Yes.”

Sure, definitive, the go Phaya needs. He sits off his ankles and back properly onto his knees as he pushes Tharn’s leg and kisses the inner crease of his thigh and he jolts again, hooked like a fish on a line. Phaya pays extra attention to it, licking it flatly, tasting the deeper texture of his skin where it is saltier and warmer. Tharn’s fingers wind back into his hair, scratching his scalp gently and sending little tingles down Phaya’s nerves. He retaliates by scraping his teeth on Tharn’s hipbone. Phaya can feel his own blood in his veins, singing eternally about this, about Tharn, about them. It hits deeper in his bones than any fight or battle.

He's supposed to be here with his hands on Tharn’s skin, loving and worshipping all that he’s been given. He is dear to me. My affection is pure.

Tharn gasps and it’s a melody he wants to listen to in this life and all his lives. Phaya swallows and Tharn cries out, fingers spasming in his hair. This is all he needs. Only mine, always. Phaya tucks his arm around Tharn’s thigh to hold him tighter and down and catches in his eyeline as he curls up on himself, thrashing as Phaya draws out and pushes bliss through his body.

“Phaya.” Benediction.

More, Phaya thinks, more of me until there’s nothing else. Until you’re safe from harm’s way.

Tharn tries pushing at him but Phaya is heavier regardless of his state. Without any leverage he has to accept everything Phaya gives him, palm moving to be splayed on his belly to stop him from writhing away again.

“Phaya, please, come o—” Tharn’s words stop but his body trembles, his skin getting hotter and hotter.

Phaya stays with him until all of it eases, his thighs previously corded with tension, slacken away from Phaya’s shoulders.

Phaya strokes his palm over the wet sheen on Tharn’s stomach, comforting him as everything ebbs. Tharn throws an arm over his eyes and breathes out harshly. Phaya eases him down and drags himself up to flop next to him on the bed.

“You—” Tharn accuses from his shielded view.

Phaya kisses his chest, “Mmm, I did.”

That gets Tharn to pull away his arm, and let it drop over his head as he frowns at Phaya with the incredulity of it. Phaya grins at him self-assuredly, “I did, didn’t I?”

That arm slaps his weak chest, “Evil jellyfish!”

Phaya bursts out laughing and Tharn stops, mouth clearly working faster than his brain.

“You’re ridiculous,” Tharn settles for. Phaya can’t tell if he’s embarrassed or not but he takes it as a win when Tharn doesn’t deny him snuggling up closer to his side. There’s a cursory glance downward from Tharn and Phaya shakes his head. It wasn’t what he came for.

“But I’m yours,” Phaya tells him. Tharn doesn’t argue and opens the space by his side so that Phaya can lay his head on Tharn’s chest and listen to the thud-thud of his heart.

Phaya reaches for those same boundaries that felt so prominent in his consciousness earlier in the evening but they have receded, further into the dim back edges of his awareness.

He laments what happened to Wansarut. He feels that distant ache of her passing, the screaming need to save her, and the unflinching sorrow when he couldn’t. He feels her as he feels the walls inside himself but she isn’t everything. Tharn, here and now, feels like everything.

I’m sorry I couldn’t save you, but I promise I will save him.

#op you have put a band-aid on the mess of my feelings about these two #i love them so much #the sign the series #phayatharn

[akkrosu]

Zoozve, my beloved

#i love this so much #even though i don't understand space most of the time #it's still such a cool thing #astronomy #i love it

[akkrosu]

xianle trio,,,,,,i love them dearly,,,,

#tgcf #heaven officials blessing #fanart #xianle trio

[akkrosu]

San Lang is feeling Normal about this situation

#tgcf #heaven official's blessing #hualian #fanart #loved that scene #and the inner monologue feels very accurate #god bless hua cheng

[akkrosu]

RB THIS FOR BETTER REACH 🔪

for reach - @dragonsareawesome123 @loserlesbianongsa @milkpansa @ahxu-laowen @solana-ceae @icouldhyperfixatehim @i-got-the-feels @dribs-and-drabbles @grapejuicegay @casualavocados @krystaljungs @soundwin @tenprem @petrichoraline @pondphuwin @justafriend-ql @dimpledpran @pranpats @pranink @forcebook @seatawinan @sunsetandthemoon @dream-launch

#signal boost #i'm so excited about this show