Greetings, I am a sentient pile of dirt. The name "Albert" has been bestowed upon me by my caretaker, a young gnome man who goes by the name "Zilner". This is a record of my adventures and inner contemplation of the world around me. Feel free to ask any questions.
I had Zilner paint a portrait of me. He seemed rather disgruntled at first, but we managed to work out an agreement. Every now and then, when seen fit, I will allow him to record his own findings and contemplation here.