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Damian, trying to make friends and in a call with Dick for advice

Damian: I don’t know what to say?

Dick: just be yourself, be normal.

Damian: which one, I can’t do both!

#incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #incorrect batfamily quotes #dc #dc comics #dc universe #batfam #dick grayson #damian wayne #nightwing #robin #source: how i met your mother

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A collection of questionable conversation that Clark has unintentionally eavesdropped on throughout the years of visiting Wayne Manor👀 :

Jason : no bro. trust me. I have the leg strength of a fucking orca whale

Tim : whales don't have legs. idiot

Damian : you honestly expect me to act like a human being ? I'm wearing a turtleneck

Bruce : what you need to start working on is your emotional control, Jason

Jason : get hit by a car

Damian : you are SO wrong on SO many levels, Drake. enemies to lovers is only a good concept if they're gay. if I wanted to see a man and a woman yell at each other I'd just go eat dinner with my parents

Tim : isn't that the knife that you were stabbed with earlier ??

Stephanie : finders keepers

Jason : well do you know what type of women you're interested in then ?? what do you like

Stephanie : I like my women how I like my woods

Jason : so you mean like mysterious and beautiful

Stephanie : no. I mean like haunted and could kill me at any moment

Tim : do you ever think Cupid was actually summoned to war ?

Dick : huh ???

Tim : i mean like whenever the Roman god's all ended up going to war. do you ever think Cupid was actually called to fight ??

Dick : well he is another god so I don't see why he wouldn't be recruited

Tim : ok. that's very valid. however what if he mistakenly fires a few of those 'love arrows' he's always toting around and the battlefield turns into one giant orgy ??

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I made this post almost exactly a year go. Have a sequel

R! Donnie: at least i didn't marry a boy i'd only known for two days

12! April: *snorts sprite out her nose in surprise*

12! Raph: LEO DID WHAT?

R! Donnie: in VEGAS

R! Leo: i dont know why you say it like that, you knew that was on my bucketlist

12! Mikey: you put "marry someone you've known for two days" on your bucketlist?

R! Leo: no! It was "get married in Vegas"

12! Mikey: ohhh

12! Splinter: *puts his head in his hands*

12! Raph, poking 12! Leo: really Leo! I didn't think you had that in you!

12! Leo: i don't! I mean that its not on my list, i could totally do it!

12! Raph: sure

12! Casey: oh thats on my list too!

R! Leo: nice

12! Casey and R! Leo: *fist bump*

R! Donnie: you didn't even get married in Vegas proper! They got married in the Yokai sector

R! Leo: because the Yokai age of adulthood is 16. Duh. We're too young to get married in human Vegas

R! Donnie: neither of you legally exist in either domain!

R! Leo: which is why Vegas was the clear choice for venue!

12! April: why'd you marry someone you'd only known two days?

R! Leo: when you spend 47 hours and 52 minutes straight with a stranger, you really get to know each other

12! April: okay? But still why MARRIAGE

R! Leo: uh, because he's pretty and amazing and likes me back?

12! Donnie: *nods in understanding*

R! Mikey, whispering: he's from a different dimension. He had to go back ASAP

2012: ohhhh

R! Raph: They decided to spend his last few hours in our dimension getting married. They're both sappy lovesick fools and that last hour would not come quick enough. The first half hour was cute but after that it-

R! Leo: ANYWAYS thats the story of how i married Usagi last year!

12! Turtles: USAGI?

12! Mikey, shaking 12! Leo: YOU HAVE A THING FOR USAGI?

12! Leo: NO!

12! Raph: I THOUGHT YOU TWO JUST TOLERATED EACH OTHER

12! Casey: what are we talking about?

12! April: i have no idea

12! Leo: WE DO!

12! Donnie: no no this actually kinda makes sense

12! Turtles: WHAT

R! Leo: its because we're soulmates! A fourtune teller verified it-

R! Donnie: she stole your money is what she did

R! Leo: you're just salty i had the wedding without you guys

R! Donnie: I DESERVED THE BEST MAN SPOT!

R! Leo: I ALREADY PROMISED IT TO APRIL!

R! Donnie: WHEN YOU WERE SIX!

R! Leo: AND I KEEP MY PROMISES!

R! Donnie: YOU WAITED FOR BIG MAMA!

R! Leo: SHE INTRODUCED US! WE HAD TO INVITE HER!

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ROTTMNT & 12 TMNT: Toster

RIse Mikey: Ok I am going to do some art topside. see you in an hour.

Rise Raph: ok big man

*RIse Mikey leaves*

12 Leo: do you know where the kitchen is I want to make some toast

Rise Raph: down the hall to your left

12 Leo: Ok

*Later*

12 Donnie: hey Leon do you know were Leo is

Rise Leo: yea he said he was going to make some toast

12 Donnie: WITH THE TOASTER

Rise Leo: Dude calm down that's what a toaster is for

*12 Donnie runs in to the kitchen*

12 Donnie: Leo I swear to hell if you go near that toaster-

12 Leo: Donnie its fin-

*BOOM*

12 Raph Internally: Toaster count: 7

The Rise gang: OH SHIT SOMEONE'S GOING TO DIE

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Bakugo: Tch, I’m going to bed. I’m not dealing with you idiots.

Kirishima: Oh, c’mon dude! We want you here for movie night.

Bakugo, leaving the room: Tch.

Izuku, joking: You know, they say sleep is for the weak, haha.

Bakugo, frozen in his tracks: HAH?

——

Izuku: Kacchan, please.

Bakugo: Shut up, nerd.

Izuku, tearing up: It’s been three days, please go to sleep.

Bakugo, flipping him off as he downs another shot of espresso:

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Kirishima, running into the lobby: Guys, Bakugo got hit with a quirk so whatever you do, don’t comment on it.

Ochako: Is he okay? What hap-

Bakugo, walks in angry and is completely orange: NO ONE. SAY. A WORD.

Class 1-A: *trying hard not to laugh*

Izuku, walking in and doesn’t know: Hey everyone! What’s so fun-

Bakugo:

Izuku:

Class 1-A:

Izuku: So, did Mr. Wonka come with you or is he still at the factory?

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Big deaf energy

Thanks anon!!!!!

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Kaminari: Yao-Momo, you’re really smart. In your opinion, how do you think Bakugou will die someday?

Momo: Gangland-style execution. We never find his head.

Bakugou: *nods in agreement*

Kaminari: And me?

Momo: You slip in a tub.

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1-A Class Finals Week

Uraraka and Izuku: *sitting in the dorms lobby with textbooks around them.*

Izuku: *writing away in his notebooks and mumbling non-stop*

Iida, walking in: Hey guys! I’m glad to see that you’re studying away!

Uraraka: Yeah, but um...I’m kinda worried about Deku-kun.

Iida: What do you mean?

Uraraka: He’s been studying and training non-stop and hasn’t slept in four days. I don’t even think he actually knows who we are right now.

Iida: Don’t be silly, Uraraka-kun. That’s not likely.

Uraraka: Watch. Hey, Deku-kun, *gestures to Iida* How do you think Yao-Momo looks today?

Izuku, looks straight at Iida and doesn’t hesitate: She changed her ponystyle a bit today. It looks nice.

Iida: Oh no.

Uraraka: Thanks, Deku-kun.

Izuku: No problem, Kirishima-kun.

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Izuku, on live TV: If you’re looking for a good hotel, I stayed at this one place. It had everything: a giant pool, an everyday-all day buffet, night-time activities, a doorman that always high-fives children of divorce.

Audience:

TV Host:

Izuku:

TV Host: W-were you one of those kids, Hero Deku?

Izuku: No, but speaking of divorce, my husband and I are about to have one because he decided to mess with my teleprompter.

Bakugo, laughing his ass off offstage:

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Izuku, putting the last of his boxes perfectly in the moving truck: All those years of Tetris finally paid off.

*All of the boxes in the truck suddenly blink and disappear*

Izuku, staring blankly:

Izuku, cell phone rings:…Yes?

Bakugo: Oi nerd, I just got word of that truck you rented was effected by some pranking asshat’s disappearing quirk. Don’t put anything in it, got it?

Izuku: Oh thank God. I thought my brain finally snapped.

Bakugo: What?

Izuku: My whole life was on that truck.

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Kid: Stupid old man!

Izuku: Now, now, let’s not be mean-

Bakugo: Oh shut it, you stupid brat!

Izuku: Kacchan!

Mom: Hey! You can’t talk to my son like that! Who do you think you are?!

Bakugo: I’m the future number one hero, you old hag! And your son smells like dog crap!

Izuku: Oh my God-

Dad: Oi! You can’t talk to my wife like that! What do you think you’re doing?!

Bakugo: Unlike you, I’m trying to run in the park to lose some weight!

Izuku, grabbing Bakugo’s arm: OKAY, we are leav-

Grandma: You can’t talk to my grandson like that! Someone needs to put you in a mental hospital!

Bakugo: Someone needs to put you in a box flowing down the river, old lady!

Whole Family:

Izuku, puts up Bakugo using OFA and runs away: I’M SO SORRY!

Bakugo, flips family off over Izuku’s shoulder:

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A: Flirting with you is like punching water.

B: Why? Cause it’s pointless, or because you look stupid doing it?

A: Did you hear it?

B: I heard it that time, yeah.

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Facts about IIOHAH!Izuku

Expert in robotics, engineering, neuroscience, chemistry, astrophysics, rocket science, and much, much more.

Just about able to take up any study thrown at him if given enough time and has enough interest.

Really doesn’t like History though.

Fluent in Japanese, English, German, Spanish, and is currently working on French.

Demisexual and demiromantic.

Suffers from PTSD and high anxiety.

Still terrified of thunderstorms, but easier to manage if he curls up against someone he trusts.

He is the only person who has ever been able to pet Dapple the cat freely.

Doesn’t like tea, but instead likes having smoothies as a drink snack.

His favorite game is Horizon: Zero Dawn.

His favorite television show is Cosmos, both with Carl Sagan and Neil DeGrasse Tyson.

Prefers cold weather.

Has multiple robotic arms for multiple uses (i.e. realistic arm for going incognito, combat arm, medic arm)

All his robotic parts are now made with the Hera material, which is not a metal, despite having a metallic-like form. He is thus not magnetic nor could he be controlled with a metal quirk.

All robotic parts are fueled by his own body energy, plus additional reserves from solar for emergencies.

He must eat more food than regular due to this, eating usually five meals a day, at minimum.

With further upgrades less energy consumption will become a thing and he will not need to eat as much.

Always, always upgrading. Nothing has a permanent look to it. He has multiple suits, arms, eyes, and many more devices he’s constantly changing.

Incredibly touchy feely if he knows you well.

If he doesn’t, however, he despises being touched and will flinch or move away.

Will only let Katsuki call him Deku since, for them, it is now more of a nickname rather than a cruel joke. He doesn’t like others calling him it, though. (Sorry Ochako!)

Began calling Aizawa “niichan” and “Aizawa-nii” out of a joke Hizashi suggested. Now uses the terms unironically.

His ultimate hero goal is to help lead society into a time of understanding and teamwork with all those around them, especially those quirkless or handicapped.

Where All Might was the Pillar of Peace, Titan shall be the Foundation of Love/Hope.

His ultimate scientific goal is to return humanity to space and to get better funding for things beyond the heroic field.

His hero name, Titan, comes from the fact he began naming his major systems after Greek Gods, making him their “creator” and thus a titan.

A titan is also a larger than life entity that makes a large impact in the world. He hopes to live up to this.

Systems and large scale inventions (planned and in effect) named after Greek Gods:

Hera: Super shock absorbing material with multiple states.

Ares: Offensive Weapons System

Nike: Mobility System

Hephaestus: Machine Building System

Hermes: Teleportation System

Apollo: High Capacity Memory System

Poseiden: Ocean and Water Cleaning System

Persephone: Land Cleaning System

Demeter: Resource Gathering System

Artemis: Tracking System

All Might is, of course, his number one favorite hero. After that it is, of course, Eraserhead, Present Mic, Midnight, Ingenium, and Ectoplasm.

In his free time, whenever that is, he likes to volunteer at the hospital, at local shelters, at food kitchens, and at retirement homes.

His Reinforcement Spine can house and inject an assortment of chemicals and nutrients into his system, allowing Izuku to require less sleep, less food, and have more energy for short spurts of time.

Long use (read: over a week) of this feature will cause Izuku to begin hallucinating, blacking out, and having a bad crash once it is shut off.

Izuku finishes his homework usually while still at school, rarely requiring much extra time.

Current Arm features:

Enchanced Strength

Made of Hera / Highly Defensive

Equalizers (Ice, Fire, Shock, and Sleep)

Shoulder Speaker

Bicep Compartments

Current Eye features:

Recorder

Zoom

Infrared

Night Vision

Scan and Identification

Internet

Laser Pointer

Current Spine features:

Spinal Cord Redirection

Chemical and Nutrient Transfer

Steadying Posture

Any missed factoids you may be interested in (that don’t spoil future parts of the story~) please let me know!

IIOHAH!Katsuki’s Facts

Mashi Facts

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Bakugo: How the hell did Bird-Face get his head stuck in a fish bowl?

Izuku: Long story short, Kaminari-kun.

Bakugo: Ah.

Tokoyami, in the bowl still stuck on his head: It’s fine, just break it with a hammer.

Izuku:

Izuku, taps on the glass:

Tokoyami, startles: AH!

Izuku: Oh, the pet store guy was right. It does freak them out.

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Izuku: I hope your phone only charges at a certain angle.

Bakugo: I hope you get a mosquito in your room and never find it.

Izuku: I hope you accidentally drop that one last French fry you found at the bottom of the bag.

Bakugo: I hope that one of your AirPods dies so all you have left is one useable pod.

Izuku: I hope that fan you put on at night to help you sleep finally dies.

Bakugo: Speaking of sleep, I hope your pillow is warm on both sides.

Todoroki: It’s been like this for three hours and they’re really creative when they try.

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Izuku: I can’t believe we’re trying to steal a drive-thru clown. How did I get drag into this?!

Bakugo: Shut it nerd! You’re here, so you’re a part of it.

Todoroki: Oh crap! A car’s here, hide!

Bakugo and Todoroki, hides in bushes:

Izuku, freaks out and hides behind the clown:

Endeavor, pulls up the speaker: Hello.

Izuku: Uhhh…Welcome to Katso’s Burger, how can I help you?

Endeavor: Get me a number 3 combo meal.

Izuku: Do you want to add an apple pie for twenty cents more?

Endeavor: Uh, sure.

Izuku: How about a large soda?

Endeavor: Sounds good.

Izuku: So, that’s a number 3 combo with an apple pie and large soda.

Endeavor: Yes, that’s right.

Izuku: Sorry, we are closed.

Endeavor: Hah?! Then why did you take my order?!

Izuku: Please drive away.

Endeavor: Oh, go to hell, you bastard!

Izuku: See you there, lard-ass!

Endeavor, drives away angry:

Todoroki and Bakugo, dying of laughter: