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byullielle · 7 months

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like a cold glass of water in the middle of the night. good soup. 10/10.

Did Jisung finally realize he was allergic to flowers? POETIC AS SHIT. WOW. I loved the entire flowers thing and the visualization of it all is so mind boggling to me on how good it is.

i fkin love this series from the bottom of my heart ON GOD. this was such a satisfying conclusion. deni ilysm tysm for blessing me and my literary skills with maybe by far the BEST jisung fic I've ever come across. 😭😭

It's a bad idea, right? (04)

*ೃ༄ pairing: han jisung x fem!reader.

*ೃ༄ genre: college!au, brother's best friend & 3racha Jisung (yes he is his own genre lol), y/n is Minho's slightly younger sister, childhood friends to lovers, slow burn, angst, fluff, drama, my attempt at humor.

*ೃ༄ word count: 14k.

*ೃ༄ summary: The Lee siblings' rule was simple: don’t flirt, kiss, sleep, or even dare to think about dating the other sibling’s friends. Pretty straightforward stuff, right? No matter how ridiculous that rule sounds now, both of you respected it religiously for years, being one of the main reasons your relationship remained as strong as it did for so long. But, what happens when your brother decides to break it on a random Friday night, at a frat party, with one of your closest friends? You decide to take revenge, of course. And what better way to do it than with the help of his precious best friend, Han Jisung, whom you’ve been crushing on since forever?

*ೃ༄ warnings: cursing, suggestive themes (these two are still very horny for each other), sexual tension, marking, spit (lmao).

♡. part 03 .♡

♡. a/n: i can't believe we finally reached the end!! :( i will sob fr. firstly, i want to thank everyone who followed this story! your asks, reblogs and little tags make me the happiest every time i go back and read them <3 thank you so much for all the support and nice words you've sent me! i'm so grateful so many of you enjoyed this story and wanted to share your beautiful thoughts with me :( <3 <3 <3 second, i'll definitetly write side stories based on this, just ask fghfd. finally, a special thank you for my baby laure (@byunfirstlady) who has read every chapter for me before posting and gave me very helpful feedback! <333

“What the actual fuck are you two doing?”

The moment gets ruined instantly and you come crashing to the ground, free falling from the fluffy cloud Jisung with his plush lips and wandering hands transported you to moments prior. All of the muscles in your body stiffen up as you stop kissing him back, eyes snapping open in search of the all too familiar voice you somehow heard over the booming music and the pounding heartbeat that was resonating in your ears. Something like fear envelops you but that’s quickly replaced by a new wave of excitement, far different from the one that Jisung ignites in you, when your gaze finally falls on the person that dared to interrupt the moment you’ve dreamt about since forever.

Your brother, Minho, is standing a few feet away with an indecipherable look on his face.

Jisung pulls away with not as much reluctance as you hoped for and the smirk tugging at the corner of his kiss swollen lips confuses you further. Why does he look…proud?

Trying to slow down your wildly beating heart, you clear your throat and glare at your brother with all the annoyance you can muster through your desired filled head.

“What the hell do you want, Minho?”

Your arms are still around Jisung’s neck and even though he’s not devouring you anymore, his body remains between your legs, one hand resting comfortably on your upper thigh. While your body shrunk away, Jisung stands tall, as sure of himself as always with no sign of awkwardness at being caught making out with his best friend’s sister by the best friend himself. This was your plan all along but somehow, he looks happier than you.

“What are you doing?” Minho repeats himself, voice louder and clearly angrier than before.

“Nothing now since you decided to butt in and ruin everything, like always!”

Even in this barely lit room, you can see the hurt flashing before his eyes and that, for some reason, tugs at your heartstrings in the most unpleasant way. He takes a step back and that’s when you gently nudge Jisung away, jumping down from the table ungracefully.

Neither of you speaks for several moments, just stare the other down like you were in a ring at a boxing match, trying to intimidate your opponent. It’s silly, especially since even Jisung chuckles under his breath, enjoying the show a little too much for your liking.

Maintaining eye contact, your brother crosses his arms in a show of deviance. “This is a low blow even for you, Y/n.”

That’s when you see red and march right up in his face, forgetting all about the compassion and guilt you felt a mere minute ago. “’Even for me?’ For me?! What about your best friend that’s standing right here laughing his ass off?”

“I was expecting this from him.” He states, glaring down at you. “He fucks everything that can walk, after all.”

His words feel like a knife straight to your heart, the finishing blow that causes you to visibly recoil out of Minho’s personal bubble and get knocked down momentarily. He wins this round; however, Minho doesn’t look pleased with his triumph.

His icy glare softens, jaw clenching in obvious regret but that doesn’t mean he stops there. “Jisung would ditch me in a foreign country if it meant getting his dick wet. You, however, are my sister. I didn’t expect such betrayal from you.”

“Payback is a fucking bitch, isn’t she?”

Behind you and completely out of the conversation, Jisung laughs like he’s heard the funniest joke of the century and that’s when you finally witness the effect of the alcohol in his veins. That’s when you realize he is indeed drunk and possibly high out of his mind – stuff you were too busy to notice when his tongue was down your throat.

Since he isn’t able to process the gravity of the situation, this is downright hilarious to him.

If Minho notices, he doesn’t say anything which only causes the alcohol that got to your own head to swirl angrily. “Payback? So, you did this out of fucking spite?”

“Of course, I did!” You explode, throwing your arms up in anger. “Don’t forget you hurt and betrayed me first! These are the results of your own actions, Minho!”

“I didn’t do it on fucking purpose, though!” His arms fall to the side, along his body, eyes as cold as ever. “I didn’t go out of my way to cook this scheme to deliberately hurt you, Y/n! You fucking did.”

That’s when all the fire in his eyes goes out, vanishing like him processing and putting together the pieces of your little plan was a bucket of cold water thrown on him. One that leaves him soaked and vulnerable, hurt. Hurt and disappointed.

You can live with that, disappointing him. It was the natural path of life, disappointing your older brother and everyone around with your poor choices. What you couldn’t live with, however, was hurting him.

Minho has always been a pillar in your life, strong and unmoving, almost undefeated. Nothing and nobody could ever take him down in your eyes, too powerful and resilient for anyone to even try. But what you learnt the hard way, was that this image you created of him in your head was far from the truth. He cried and broke down just like everyone else, just not in front of you. Not in front of his little sister who needed to know she could rely on him, needed to see him strong and unphased by all the stuff that made her cry her eyes out as he comforted her.

Hurting Minho felt like the world was suddenly swept from under your feet. Like you were suddenly floating in outer space with no place to call home. You were sure the pain caused by hurting him was greater for you than it was for him, even though he was the victim in the whole ordeal.

What you don’t know even to this day is that Minho felt the exact same. Because Minho never let you in, never showed you his vulnerable side and did everything to protect you without even consulting you first.

“This is still your fault.” You whisper, not being able to look him in the eyes anymore, the music suddenly too loud. “None of this would have happened if you didn’t come up with that stupid promise.”

The Lee siblings’ rule. The one that started this whole mess.

Shaking his head, Minho doesn’t make any effort to reach out to you anymore, voice devoid of any emotion that only makes your heart squeeze painfully in your chest. “Sorry for wanting to protect you.”

And with that, the first thing you see when you finally lift your head is him turning his back to you and walking away, still missing his jacket. Jacket he discarded for you and your well-being.

Your brother seems cold to others, mean even, but you always said his big heart would be his downfall. Putting everyone else above him will inevitably cause him to hit the bottom in the most painful way.

Just like he did now.

Your mind and heart are currently having a showdown, fighting for dominance in making the next choice. Your mind is screaming at you to turn around back into Jisung’s arm and forget all about your brother while your heart is pleading you to go after him, to fix everything. You want to do everything and nothing at the same time. It’s confusing, and exhausting, like a game of tug of war taking place right in your body with no regard to your slipping sanity.

In the end, your heart wins, knocking out your mind but as you move in the direction Minho disappeared, Jisung’s sturdy arms find your middle and pull you back instantly.

“Congrats, sweetheart.” He speaks lowly, almost like he was sober and you can’t stop the way your whole body melts against him, reacting on its own. “You finally got back at your brother.”

Something feels off about the way he says that so, you make to turn around in his arms just for him to let go and walk right past you, after Minho. That leaves you flabbergasted, confused and hurt with tears welling up in your eyes and before your mind can protest again, your heart makes the call and yells after him, desperate. Nobody pays you any mind though, acting like you weren’t there slowly crumbling to the ground in a pathetic display of emotions you can’t seem to control, heightened by the alcohol in your veins.

Like you were invisible, screaming into the darkest and coldest void, you remained there just silently crying.

Did Jisung just…abandon you? Choose your brother over the fragile heart you presented him with on a silver platter?

Was it all a game to him? Or was he just a pawn in the harmless game you created, the one that ended up hurting you the most?

How could he just walk away like nothing even happened? Like you were the bad guy this whole time?

Was this really what love felt like? Because if so, you had no desire to experience it ever again.

Like you were on autopilot, your body moves on its own in search of the only person that still has your back. The only person that you didn’t hurt or turn against you.

The tears running down your cheeks along with all the party goers and flashing lights make it harder for you to navigate and find him, but when you finally do, a loud sob escapes your now-chapped lips.

“Felix…”

Felix isn’t alone, busily locking lips with a random girl in the huge hot tub but the moment your voice reaches him, he pulls away instantly, eyes wide. When they fall on you and take in your state, the complete opposite of the one you left in, anger contorts his beautiful and soft features in a way not suited for his face. Unusual.

“Oh, I’m going to beat his fucking ass.”

・❥・・❥・・❥・

Somehow, things ended in the way Felix predicted at the beginning. Han Jisung left you all alone, struggling to put together the heart he broke carelessly like it meant nothing to him. The heart you gave him without a word that he wasn’t even aware of owning.

At first, everything was a game to you. A silly way to get back at the brother that hurt you without meaning to – a way to make Minho have a taste of his own medicine. But as time went on and your relationship progressed, you quickly realized that the feelings you harboured for Jisung weren’t as superficial as everyone thought. And so, the game slowly turned into something real and your mask dropped, abandoning the well thought out character you created just for this ploy.

Jisung was no longer a means to an end, he was someone you wanted to know everything about. Every quirk, every detail on his beautiful face along with everything that happened in his exciting world. Everything there was to know about Han Jisung, you wanted to become an expert in. Wanted to know him inside and out to be able to love it all without any hesitation.

But unfortunately, he didn’t share the same sentiment. As noble as his intentions were, Jisung only spent all of that time with you just to see your plan come to fruition, to help you achieve your silly revenge.

You were stupid for not realizing it sooner, for only seeing it the moment he walked away from you like one does from a stranger.

Han Jisung, the genius prodigy has outsmarted you once again. Only this time, it hurt so much to the point you struggled to breathe, the pieces of your broken heart puncturing your lungs.

His kisses and sinful lips took your breath away but forgot to return it, ring-cladded hands dropping your heart and letting it get stomped on by everyone at the party. You didn’t know what hurt more – not being able to breathe or not being able to feel anything else other than the phantom feeling of your missing heart?

“Good morning, sleepy head.” Felix’s morning voice brings you back to the present moment, eyes bleary with sleep and voice even lower than usual as he sets a plate on your lap while petting your head lovingly. “Why are you awake so early?”

It takes you a moment to recognize his place, the horrible headache only allowing your mind to curse at the stupidity you displayed last night by drinking too much. Currently on his plush couch, you’re sitting up with a fluffy blanket around your shoulders, still dressed in the clothes from the party, hair a mess.

“My head hurts.” Is all you manage to mumble, reaching up to rub at your tired eyes.

Felix chuckles lowly, his own blonde hair as dishevelled as you felt when he bends down to kiss the crown of your head. “Why don’t you go and take a shower? I laid out some new clothes for you to change into.”

You nod, seeing no point in protesting since you felt a bit gross anyway but, something holds you back. A scent. Jisung’s cologne is still present on your clothes and every time you move, a whiff of it reaches your nose and makes you feel lightheaded in the best way. His scent lingered on your skin, enveloping your body like a warm blanket and if you showered now, it would be all gone in a blink of an eye.

“Darling…” Felix mumbles and suddenly, his arms are bringing you into a warm embrace. “What’s wrong?”

You want to answer, to say it’s nothing but the moment your mouth opens, the only thing that escapes past your lips is a quiet sob which causes you to hide your face in his stomach. Felix’s hold on you tightens and his chin rests tenderly on the top of your head as he begins to comfort you quietly, palms running up and down your back soothingly.

He lets you cry for a while before coaxing your face out of hiding, wiping your tears and leading you to the bathroom for a much-needed shower. After, you put on the clothes he mentioned earlier and leaves the dress there, on the bathroom floor, its vibrant red colour suddenly dull and ugly but still smelling like the man that made it shine. Or rather, the man that made you shine while wearing it.

Twenty minutes later, you’re back on the couch you realized you’ve slept on, sitting while Felix gently removes your makeup and reminds you to eat some of the fruit he’s cut up for a light breakfast. His thoughtfulness regarding your hangover almost makes you tear up again but he’s right here to stop it just in time.

“Feeling much better now, right?” His voice is soft, eyes warm and full of compassion. “I tried to get you to change last night but you just passed out the moment you sat on the couch.”

You didn’t even realize you were that drunk. How embarrassing.

“Yeah, thank you, Lix.” You nod, closing your eyes as his gentle fingers bring the makeup wipe to remove the smudge eyeshadow.

For a few minutes, all you can hear is his humming as Felix focuses on removing all of the makeup from last night, treating your face with the utmost care. He comes to a stop at your lips that were crimson just hours ago, now with barely any lipstick left as most of it remained on Jisung’s face.

Then, his hand moves down, wiping at your neck before his brows furrow in slight confusion. “Why do you have lipstick on your neck?”

It dawns on the both of you once he moves your hair out of the way and you let out a surprised gasp as his fingers graze the side of your throat. Oh my god, you totally forgot about the hickey –

“Ew, Y/n.” Felix grimaces and looks away, letting his hand fall back into his lap. “What are you, fifteen?”

Your face feels like it’s on fire as images from last night start replaying in your head, recalling every breath, kiss and nip Jisung left on your heated skin, the way his hands caressed every curve and worshipped your body like it was a piece of art. He made you feel beautiful and wanted, something nobody has managed to do at the same time.

As your gaze lowers in embarrassment, you notice something incriminating on his own neck. “Are you being serious right now?” You can tell he has no idea what you’re talking about even as you reach over and pinch the skin, making him gasp as well. “Look at yourself!”

Curious, he grabs his phone and opens the front camera, pointing it to his neck. What he sees there makes his eyes widen comically and he stands up in a flash, running to the bathroom while cursing under his breath, not believing the trail of dark bruises that is currently staining his smooth skin. Felix, with all of his sex appeal, is not a fan of marking so his reaction along with the now louder curses leaving his lips have you laughing wholeheartedly. Until you remember Hyunjin is still sound asleep in the next room and you slap a hand over your mouth, muffling the sound.

“The first thing I told that girl last night was to keep her clammy ass mouth away from my neck! How the fuck am I going to show up to practice like this?”

He comes back into the room, huffing and puffing and with no care regarding Hyunjin’s beauty sleep.

“Clammy mouth?” You giggle, throwing your head back. “Don’t you mean wet, Lix?”

“Whatever! I’m too mad to speak proper English right now!”

Mad Felix looks exactly like an angry kitten, cute and not intimidating at all. Of course, that’s only the case when he isn’t mad at Han Jisung.

You reach out to comfort him once he sits back down, caressing the back of his head. “Don’t worry. I’ll cover them up for you.”

That seems to make him feel a tiny bit better and he lets himself fall back against the couch, head rolling to the side in sudden exhaustion. Even for him and his hangover self, it was too early in the morning for all of this drama. He was still handling everything way better than you though, stepping up to care for you first and his needs second. You really didn’t deserve him.

“By the way,” He mumbles, turning his head towards you. “Your brother texted me. He’s worried.”

Yeah, despite your fight, you didn’t doubt that one bit. Minho tends to worry about you even when there’s nothing to worry about, making himself sick in the process like he was a child and not a responsible adult.

“I guess I’ll have to go home and face him at some point.” You sigh.

Worry is also visible on his freckled features as you lay back next to him, voice soft and careful. “What happened? You were inconsolable last night.”

There’s no point in keeping it from him, even if remembering last night brings forth a multitude of emotions that almost overwhelm you. “It finally happened. Minho saw Jisung and I making out.”

Felix clicks his tongue and you know he finally understands everything, like this simple information was all he needed for the puzzle to be complete. Somehow, he isn’t surprised by it, nor is he taken aback – like you making out with Jisung was a usual occurrence that happened all the time. But since he saw the hickey, you’re guessing it would’ve been silly for him to not put two and two together.

“And? Isn’t this what you wanted from the beginning?”

Of course, it is. You were on this same couch when you came up with your silly master plan, after all.

“Yeah.” You nod, looking down as a wave of regret comes crashing over you. “But he got upset, more so than I did. He actually looked hurt, Lix.”

Felix raises an eyebrow. “Because you kissed his best friend? Are they in a secret relationship you didn’t tell me about?”

The laugh you let out allows more air to finally enter your lungs, clearing your head. “Uh, maybe? You know how weird they are.”

“Yeah, even weirder than us.” You both share a conspiratorial giggle, playfully nudging the other.

Reaching out for another piece of fruit on the forgotten plate, you continue. “Anyways, after that happened Jisung made me feel like everything was my fault and went after Minho, ignoring all of my attempts at trying to talk to him.”

This time, Felix is annoyed for real, no longer resembling an adorable kitten but a furious cat. Still cute but also intimidating. “You should’ve let me kick his ass a long time ago, Y/n. I could’ve beat the concept of ‘respect’ into him earlier on.”

You shake your head, not surprised in the slightest that Felix’s first response was once again related to violence. “You know, Lix, beating people up isn’t always the answer.”

The smile that stretches across his features is so bright and genuine, you’d think he just got the most amazing news of his life and isn’t currently plotting someone’s downfall. So cute but so vicious, Felix’s duality never fails to frighten you.

“Only when it comes to Han Jisung.” He shrugs nonchalantly, still smiling while putting his hands behind his head. “Violence is always my favourite answer then.”

You thought you and Felix were two peas in a pod but on second thought, maybe he and your brother are actual long-lost twins separated at birth. That would explain their shared love for resolving every conflict or problem by fighting. The only thing that differentiates them is their feelings towards Jisung.

Felix and Jisung have never gotten along, despite being pretty similar and their shared interests. A shame, really, but they just never clicked. Crossing paths in high school, every one of their conversations always ended in an argument, neither being able to get their point across in a civilized manner. It all started with a disagreement and Jisung being a bit too brash while making his point for Felix to get the ick and dislike him instantly. He thought Jisung was stuck up and annoying while the man thought Felix was a two-faced bitch, too fake for his liking.

There wasn’t any deeper reason for their beef, not that you were aware of anyway. Just two guys overflowing with testosterone hating each other’s guts.

“What are you going to do about him?” Felix asks eventually, wanting to get you out of your head.

You shrug because truth be told, you had no idea. “Maybe I’ll just stop bothering him. I think he’s made his feelings for me pretty clear.”

In translation: I think Jisung hates me so I’ll stop chasing an unobtainable fantasy and move on.

Felix used the best friend translator by the way he frowns with his whole face, looking like a rained-on kitten. “As much as I dislike this specimen, darling, I think you’re mistaken.”

Your stubbornness reaches a new high this morning because you don’t budge, shaking your head firmly. “He keeps slipping in and out of my life whenever he pleases, Lix. I’m tired.”

And he can see that, especially since he’s the one who could always see right through you and his heart can’t help but break at the sight. However, your best friend doesn’t budge either.

“I really think you should just have a heart-to-heart and figure it all out together.” He says softly, reaching out to move some hair out of your face.

Leaning into his touch, you move closer, suddenly needing one of his healing hugs. “Nope. I’m done being the one that does all the chasing. I want to be chased for once. Want to have someone be afraid of losing me.”

His arm around your middle tightens its hold, squeezing reassuringly in a silent show of support. However, where you expected him to drop it, Felix instead says something that throws your whole world upside down, giving you whiplash in the process.

“Don’t you love him?”

Pulling away from him like burnt, the incredulous look on your face makes him chuckle, casually reaching for another piece of fruit like he isn’t pushing you to admit feelings you aren’t even sure of. But, when have you ever been sure of anything? Were you really that oblivious, missing the clear signs all the damn time?

Defeated, you look down and your next words come out not louder than a whisper. “I don’t know…”

Felix can sympathize, you’re sure. Once, he had multiple people confess to him at the same time and the whole ordeal confused him so much that he ended up rejecting the one person he actually cared for just because he didn’t take time to himself to realize his feelings. It was a mess but on one hand, it showed you the way you shouldn’t act when it came to love. Peer pressure could be a horrible thing.

He nods, as understanding as ever. “Okay, then think about it.”

“I’ve been thinking about it for years now, Lix.” You sigh, on the brink of exasperation. “What if it’s just physical attraction? What then?”

“That’s a good enough start.” A small smile creeps onto his features. “You can still start dating and end up falling for him properly.”

Okay, that’s something you never thought you’d hear from your best friend of all people. Felix? Encouraging you to date Jisung? What the fuck kind of parallel universe did you step into while you were sleeping?

“You want me to…” You can barely finish the sentence, so flabbergasted and suddenly suspicious of the person in front of you. “date Jisung? You?!”

Felix laughs and nods, happiness radiating off of him like you’re talking about his favourite video game and not the guy he can’t stand. “You’ve been talking my ear off about this guy for so long now, Y/n. Can you blame me for finally getting tired?”

Heat rushes to your face and you groan, bringing one of the blankets up to swallow you whole, hiding from his teasing.

“Besides,” He continues, gently prying your hands off to look you in the eyes, “nobody has the right to tell you who to love or not, not me and especially not Minho. The way I’ve been acting wasn’t okay and I’m sorry.”

As his words sink in, you slowly realize that what he’s saying is right. Both he and Minho have been brushing your feelings aside for years, discouraging and building wall after wall between you and the only person you’ve truly ever wanted. But even so, even with all the obstacles, flowers still managed to bloom their way to him, one by one carrying a small piece of your heart among their colourful petals.

The question was, did he even pick them up? Make his way around the concrete walls to collect all the pieces of the puzzle that made your feelings. Did he plant flowers of his own or just leave yours to wither pathetically, not even sparing them a glance?

You’ve never seen behind the many walls, never knew what exactly was waiting for you at the end of it all. But, throughout the years, you’ve caught a glimpse here and there, of Jisung carrying a small bouquet of fragile flowers in his strong arms, just for them to slip through his fingers one by one a moment later. A heartbreaking sight that usually brought tears to your eyes, ones that dried instantly the moment he started trying to take down those walls that only seemed to regenerate with just one look from Minho. Or a simple sentence from Felix.

This past month spent by his side is the most you’ve seen of him, like somehow, he managed to lift you above it all so you could finally see past the many barriers and obstacles. That’s why, the events that took place last night felt like he finally got tired of carrying you, dropping your flowers back to your side and out of his sight.

Out of sight, out of mind. Did Jisung finally realize he was allergic to flowers?

Tears well up in your eyes for the nth time that morning but now, you just look away stubbornly, not wanting Felix to see, building a wall between you two as well.

“Well, it doesn’t really matter now since I’m never going to speak to Han Jisung again.”

Guilt and sadness radiate off of your best friend who sits up, with a hint of something that smells exactly like annoyance. “Darling, please – “

“No. My mind is made up, Lix.”

He exhales deeply, trying to remain calm. “Fine, then I guess you have no problem with me going over to knock him out.”

That gets all of your attention, making you snap your head in his direction in a panic. “Felx, no – “

・❥・・❥・・❥・

After a long and tedious conversation with Felix, somewhere along the line Hyunjin got woken up and joined, and then you had two people pestering you about your stupid childhood crush. For someone who was against it for so long, Felix was surely insistent in trying to make you see his point, not giving up until he convinced you to talk to Jisung.

Or that’s what he thinks. You finally agreed just to get him off your back for the time being, so that conversation is surely not happening any time soon. Of course, you wanted to see Jisung and speak to him – you had a whole list of things you wanted to ask him – but, not right now.

Now, you need to stop making him a priority in your life. Your every thought couldn’t revolve around him anymore, even though this proved to be the most difficult task of them all when all you seemed to think about late at night was him and the way his lips burnt every inch of your skin with their sinful kisses. So intense it never failed to make you dizzy each time.

Speaking off, that same night you made your way back to your own house, leaving behind two pouting grown-ups that enjoyed your company a little too much. Can one develop separation anxiety after one day spent together? If so, Hyunjin and Felix might need therapy.

Still dressed in a pair of sweats and hoodie that belonged to Felix, with your dress and heels in a plastic bag, you quietly unlocked the front door to the apartment you and your brother got together once you started university. It was a nice place, dare say even nicer than the one Felix and Hyunjin shared, but it still couldn’t compare to your actual house. But that house was in a neighbourhood on the other side of the city and commuting to your university each day was a hassle. Jisung, who lived in the same neighbourhood didn’t have that problem since he went to a different university so he’s still living with his parents when he isn’t travelling around the country with 3racha.

As you quietly closed the door and began removing your shoes, hurried tiny footsteps ran over to greet you, excited by your final arrival. All three of the cats surrounded you, with Dori being the first to plop down on your feet and show his belly, purring loudly and melting your heart in the process.

“Y/n?” Minho’s voice calls out from somewhere in the house and you hesitate for a moment before following it, flipping on all the lights on your way to him. Minho’s telltale sign was that every time he was sad, he just sat in complete darkness, wallowing in self-pity with his phone as the only light source. If your heart wasn’t already ripped in two, that would’ve done it.

“Hey, Min.” As expected, you find him on the couch, wrapped snuggly in a fluffy blanket, completely ignoring the tv in the background that was lighting up his face. Turning on the lights, he turns to you squinting. “Are you a vampire now, or what?”

Your brother tries to smile but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes that were already devoid of any light. Silently, he pats the seat beside him and you comply instantly, sitting down and forgetting all about your bags.

“Hi.” He greets softly, turning his body towards you. “I was worried when you didn’t come home last night.”

“I’m sorry.” The apology escapes you before you can even dwell on it, truly feeling bad. “For everything, Min.”

Minho shakes his head, not wanting to hear any of it. “If there’s one of us that needs to apologize, then it’s certainly me. I’m sorry, Y/n.”

And you know exactly what he’s talking about. The pact, the fact that he made you promise you would never act upon your feelings for his best friend. You weren’t stupid – the whole thing started because of him and him alone, Jisung. But, were your feelings that bad? Such horrible ones that deserved to be locked away and drowned every time they wanted to come to the surface?

Was love such a crime?

Taking into account the way Jisung abandoned you last night, acting like nothing ever happened between the two of you, you guessed it was. Maybe Minho was right after all, not allowing you to go after his best friend.

Still, your curiosity was now greater than ever. It had years to grow and flourish after all.

“Why…did you do it?” There was no need for you to clarify, Minho knew exactly what you were talking about.

With a sigh, he brings the blanket closer, almost like he wants to hide. “I knew you were infatuated with Jisung back then, Y/n. But he was going through the biggest heartbreak of his life at the time and after what happened with Felix, I couldn’t sit back and let you go through something similar again.”

You’re silent, thinking back on that time of your life. So back then, when you were crying on his chest in his car, Jisung was falling apart? With his heart broken in two, struggling to keep it together, he held and comforted you without thinking twice, desperately wanting to make you feel better.

Jisung was in pain yet he still managed to mend the heart he didn’t break. Still managed to put you back together while his light was slowly fading away.

Jisung did all of that…for you?

“The whole ordeal left him numb to a lot of things in the long run so I couldn’t let you fall for him when I knew he wasn’t in the right head space to return your feelings.” Minho continues, taking your silence as his sign to do so. “I didn’t want to see you in pain again.”

He scoots closer to you on the couch, touching your knee with his since you’re both sitting cross-legged. “So then, the idea of the pact came to me. I was all like ‘okay, what can I do to prevent my little sister from getting hurt?’”

A multitude of emotions come rushing forward, hitting you at the same time as they threaten to bubble to the surface with an ugly sob. Sadness, anger, happiness – you have no idea how to feel after everything’s finally been revealed. A part of you is thankful for your brother and the way he wanted to save you from another heartbreak but the other one, is upset he didn’t tell you sooner. If only he talked to you back then and let you know the way things were, maybe everything going forward would have ended up in a completely different way.

Maybe the reality you live in now, would only have been a bad dream, something you didn’t think twice about.

Maybe – wait a damn second.

Something other than the urge to cry into your brother’s arms hits you harder, and you can’t help but frown, brows furrowing. “I never told you about what happened with Felix. Why do you know about that?”

His doe eyes widen once he realises what he’s said, slowly raising a hand to cover his mouth in shock before turning away from you altogether. Minho’s done it now, letting such a big secret slip out carelessly. Jisung was going to kill him, no doubt.

“So, um,” He starts, still not facing you for safety reasons. “Jisung…told me?”

“What?!” You blurt out. “I begged him not to tell you! What the hell?”

Back then, when Jisung came to pick you up from school instead of Minho and you cried in his arms for hours on end, babbling on about missing your best friend and whatnot, you made Jisung promise he wouldn’t tell a soul. Especially to your overprotective brother who had no problem beating kids with a stick if they as much as looked at you in a funny way.

It was your moment of vulnerability where nothing made sense anymore, how could Jisung just betray you like this?

Every time you find out a piece of information about him that puts him back into your good graces, another one has to follow that paints him like the biggest asshole.

Turning to you, Minho shakes his head. “You were crying in his car, Y/n. He only told me after I promised I wasn’t going to bring it up to you in any way. He was worried and wanted to know if I had any idea what was going on between you and Felix.”

Groaning, you bury your face in one of the many decorative pillows around and let your head fall back against the couch. “You both are fucking insufferable and I’m tired of you.”

You feel him get closer, but the one that coaxes you out of hiding is the furball that senses your distress and jumps into your lap, pushing his little head into your open palm. When you look down, Dori meows cutely and you melt.

“That’s when you fell for him, right?” Minho asks hesitantly, visibly curious about your lingering feelings for his best friend. “When he comforted you in his car?”

Thanks to Dori’s presence, you’re willing to push your previous conversation aside for the time being. Jisung is going to get in trouble for spilling soon enough, even though the care he held for you back then is rather touching.

“No, that’s when I became obsessed with him.”

He grimaces and you can’t help but laugh, petting the feline in your lap lovingly as the other two join and surround Minho.

“Jisung was my first kiss,” You continue, averting your gaze, “that’s when I fell for him, I guess.”

Confused, Minho shoots you a look that makes you think you grew another head or something. “No, he wasn’t. Felix was.”

Now you’re the confused one, brows furrowing as you begin glaring at his audacity. “It was MY first kiss! What makes you think you know better than me who had his tongue down my throat?!”

Miho actually gags at the image, your words alone being enough to make him sick. Soonie and Doongie try to comfort him to the best of their abilities but it’s no use, the disgusted look on his face not showing any signs of fading. He at least has the decency to look away to not offend you.

“When did that even happen?” He manages to let out after several moments, still a bit uncomfortable.

“Um,” you trail off, pretending to think about it like the memory wasn’t actually locked away in a special chamber of your heart. “In my second year of high school, a few months after Felix started ignoring me for his girlfriend.”

Then it hits you both at the same time. That’s when Minho came up with the promise, the dammed pact that ruined your every chance at true love. Your brother wasn’t the first one that broke your promise, you were! A month after you both made it too! Oh my god –

“You…” Minho’s mouth falls open slightly, looking at you in shock as he can’t believe the epiphany he just had. Not like he can’t, he doesn’t want to believe it. His sister and his best friend, making out right after he made sure to drill the importance of staying away from each other in their thick heads? There was no way. No way in hell.

The laugh you let out is awkward, and uncomfortable, as you begin putting distance between yourself and your brother who looks like he just found out aliens were real.

He’s looking straight into your eyes now, all disgust and playfulness gone as he stares into your soul, unveiling all of your hidden secrets like it’s the easiest thing in the world. There’s a brief pause when neither of you says anything before suddenly, Minho lounges forward and you shriek, kicking your feet and scaring the cats away. As expected, it's no use because your brother gets you in a loose headlock in the blink of an eye, ruffling your hair playfully as you struggle to get free, giggling.

“And you had the audacity to cause a scene a few weeks ago when you kissed my best friend and broke our promise the same month we made it! You fucking menace!”

After weeks of silent treatment and nasty looks, you and your brother are finally laughing together and having fun, making everything right in the world again. At some point, Minho can barely breathe as you begin tickling him before sneaking a pillow in your grasp to smack him right in the face. He deserves it after gossiping with Jisung about your teenage drama like your life was a damn trashy tv show.

When things finally calm down, you’re both on the floor surrounded by pillows and still fighting the random fits of giggles.

“Min.” He hums in response, now busy petting one of the cats. “I’m sorry. I didn’t even realize I had broken our promise back then. It completely slipped my mind, both during and after the kiss.”

Complaining under his breath, in his playful manner, Minho shakes his head and looks at you next to him. “Since we’re back to apologising, please forgive me for causing you all this pain throughout the years.”

“Nonsense.” You quickly dismiss his apology, nudging his shoulder. “You were just trying to protect me, like you’ve always done. I see that now.”

“I tried to protect you without realizing I was the one actually causing you harm.” He sighs, still down about the whole thing.

Without another word, you just reach over and pull his body into a tight hug, like he usually does to you when upset. “We were both stupid, alright? Let’s just move past this.”

You still sense a brief hesitation in him as he returns the hug, patting your back comfortingly, a habit he’s kept since childhood that always lifted your spirits.

“Alright.” He pulls away, holding you by the shoulders while nodding firmly. “But you have to go and confess your undying love to Jisung right now!”

You cringe, crestfallen as you suddenly remember your shattered heart. “Yeah, about that. I’m never doing that so – “

“Y/n, what the actual fuck?”

・❥・・❥・・❥・

Days pass and everything slowly goes back to normal. Your relationship with your brother improves with every conversation since you decided to be more honest with each other, to bare your souls at every opportunity that calls for it. It’s hard at first, but seeing Minho try his best to make things right by you makes it all worth it. You and Felix also go back to normal, with lighter hearts now that the small bump on the road of your relationship was crossed and left behind.

Han Jisung doesn’t reach out once during the week, nor do you run into him again. It’s like he somehow disappears off the face of the earth, locking himself away in his comfortable bubble and not granting anyone access.

You don’t see nor hear from him but neither do the others. Except for your brother, who first mentions him almost a week after that dammed party, just to tell you Jisung cancelled their weekly hang-out session. It’s strange and completely out of the blue and after two weeks pass, even the proof of the love he left on your neck is pretty much healed, now only being a fleeting memory.

Just like the time you spent at the arcade when he managed to steal your heart completely. Looking at your homescreen now, that still displays a picture of you two from that time, hurts like a small dagger twisting itself into the place your heart once was. It’s really not fair how Jisung gets to have two hearts while you’re left struggling to keep going without yours. What a selfish, selfish man.

However, all of that sadness suddenly turns into anger when halfway through the third week, Jisung puffs back into existence. And where else other than at another party, having the time of his life without a care in the world about the people he’s hurt? You, about the fact that he hurt you.

Minho tries to keep you away from it, as always, keeping the pictures and videos of his best friend going wild way out of reach for the sake of your happiness.

But, as expected, at some point you just have enough.

“Can you drive me to Jisung’s?” The request comes out of the blue, on a random thursday afternoon, giving Minho no time to hide his obvious surprise and questioning gaze. Without a word, you tug the necklace that once belonged to Jisung out of your shirt to present to your brother, hoping he gets the hint and does as you asked without complaint.

Though there isn’t anything to end here, no relationship whatsoever, you still want to see him and get some things off your chest. Returning everything you have that belongs to him (which isn’t much) is going to be the final step for this chapter to close. This long chapter you’ve been writing since high school, with Jisung as the main character in the story called ‘you’, will finally come to an end. A bittersweet one you’ll cry yourself to sleep over for weeks to come, but at least, you’ll be free.

If only it was that easy, to free yourself from the love you carry for him.

What once started as a beautiful and hopeful story about searching for love quickly turned into a tragedy. In your eyes, at least. You were sure Jisung wasn’t even on the same page as you, let alone anywhere close to the ending. Despite being such an amazing lyricist, he’s never bothered to help you write your story.

Your brother is silent, chewing on his bottom lip nervously as he realizes what you want to do.

“You can say no.” You shrug, not looking at him. “If you don’t drive me there, I’ll ask Felix. I’m not dropping this until I get to his house.”

Reluctantly, Minho agrees and you drive there that same day.

Usually, being back in the neighbourhood you grew up in would have you giddy with excitement, happy to be back. But now, as you get out of the car in front of Jisung's parents’ house, that’s only a street away from yours, you’re anything but that.

You haven’t been here in years, unlike your brother who basically sees this place as his second home so to say you’re nervous would be an understatement. Memories come rushing back from years ago, all happy and laughter-inducing, just like Jisung used to be. Hilarious and bright was the boy you fell for back then, just like no other.

The Jisung nowadays was just a shadow of his former self. Maybe that’s why your story was coming to an end – the main character got switched out with another mid-way through.

“Call me when you’re done.” Minho honks, opening the window so you can hear him shout after scaring you half to death with the stupid car horn. “We’ll go and get ice cream after, okay?”

Ah, yes, ice cream. The remedy for every broken heart. Your brother knows you a little too well.

Once you nod, he’s off, seemingly not wanting to witness your and his best friend’s relationship go down the drain. A relationship he only started to support weeks ago, mind you.

After five minutes of internal pep talk, you stroll towards his front door with purpose, ignoring the emotions that threaten to overwhelm you at the familiar action. You, here, ringing this doorbell suddenly made you feel ten again. It was weird.

Your pulse picks up as footsteps from inside get louder and louder, approaching the door leisurely. Jisung was there, on the other side, and you were finally going to see him after he abandoned you that night. On second thought, maybe you shouldn’t even be here, maybe it was all a mistake –

But as you’re thinking this, the door swings open and you almost collapse right there and then.

Because the person standing in front of you isn’t Jisung. But a girl, a beautiful one at that. One that looks exactly like his type, smiling brightly like she owns the place.

“Hello.” Her voice is soft and gentle and it almost brings tears to your eyes. “Can I help you?”

Can she? Yes, she can help you by closing the door again and allowing you to run away and skip making an absolute fool of yourself.

Why did you think the ‘most passed around man of the year’ wouldn’t have someone over? How could you be this stupid time and time again? You deluded yourself into thinking he actually had some sort of feelings for you and forgot all about his track record and the people he still fucked when you weren’t around.

After every show, every performance, every party. You were a clown, and now you’re paying the price for your stupidity. Tragic, really. Why is there suddenly circus music playing?

“I – um…” On top of being a clown, now you can’t even speak proper English. Way to go, Y/n, embarrass yourself in front of Jisung’s beautiful hookup some more, she’s surely not enjoying this.

Her smile doesn’t flinch an inch but her eyes soften, most likely taking pity on you. “Are you okay?” Nope, not at all. But before you can let out another embarrassing sound as an answer, one that serves to mask the sound of your heart breaking into hundreds of teeny tiny pieces, something like recognition flashes before her big eyes. “Oh! I’m so sorry! Are you here to see Jisung?”

You have to do everything in your power to not collapse at the way his name leaves her pink and glossy lips, so softly and elegant it almost makes you feel bad she’s just a hookup.

“God, I’m an idiot.” She shakes her head, slapping her forehead. “Of course, you are! This is his house, after all, please come in!”

Surprise and confusion hit you all at once so, instead of taking her up on her offer, you step back, trying to wrap your head around whatever the fuck was happening. Why was Jisung’s fuck buddy inviting you inside, acting like she owned the place? What the hell is happening?

Thankfully, another voice makes itself known and interrupts the awkward moment before you can burst into tears right on this front porch.

“Y/n? Is that you?”

Looking up, past the girl is an all too familiar face you haven’t seen in ages, one that looks so similar to the man you love. He smiles, sweetly, and you recognize him immediately.

“Jihun?”

On the count of two breaths, he has your body pulled into a tight hug, basically dragging you inside with him, past the random girl who managed to step on your poor heart with a single sentence. Jihun, Jisung’s older brother that moved away years ago hugs you like you’re his own little sister, all warm and friendly and just…comforting. It’s refreshing, and you can’t stop yourself from returning the embrace and smiling from ear to ear, happy to be reunited after so long.

The last time you saw him, Jihun was fresh out of high school, the proud owner of a diploma that took him far away from home, helping him land a spot at one of the best universities in the country. It’s been almost ten years since then and the man in front of you was already unrecognizable, no longer the boy you met as a child.

The whole ordeal makes you emotional, causing you to reflect and look back on the last ten years of your life. What you’ve been doing, what you managed to accomplish and whatnot. Oh, what you wouldn’t give to be able to turn back time, just for ten minutes, to bask in that comforting and stress-free life again.

“How have you been, kiddo?” Is the first thing he asks once he sets you back down, beaming. “I feel like I see Minho all the time but you’re just never here when I visit, little Lee.”

Oh, yes. That nickname will never die apparently.

You open your mouth to reply but without meaning to, he cuts you off, hands on your shoulder. “You’ve grown up so well!”

An airy laugh makes your left eye twitch from behind you as the unknown girl approaches. “Babe, please let the girl talk. You’ve been babbling non-stop for the past five minutes.”

Wait…babe?

Babe?! Jihun was her babe?

Noticing your wide eyes, Jihun’s smile grows even bigger than you thought was possible as he reaches for the woman’s hand to plant a kiss on the smooth skin.

“Y/n, this is my fiancé, Yuri! We came to visit my parents but they forgot to tell their other son they’ll be out of the country at this time.” then he turns to her and you swear his pupils shapeshift into two hearts. “Sorry, I got distracted, love.”

Yuri shakes her head, seemingly used to his excitement before standing on her tippy toes to kiss his cheek. “It’s fine, baby.” Then, she turns to you, still smiling. “Nice to meet you, Y/n.”

You nod, visibly calmer as everything finally makes sense in your head. “Nice to meet you too!” Unfortunately, that’s still all you manage to let out, a bit shaken up by the roller-coaster of emotions you went through in the past 5 minutes.

“I’m guessing you’re here to see my precious little brother, huh?” Jihun’s smile turns playful as he wiggles his eyebrows and the similarities between him and Jisung have never been stronger.

Speaking of the wolf, you barely manage to nod before said little brother suddenly appears at the end of the stairs, all fluffy hair and round, thin-rimmed golden glasses. He’s dressed casually, in a beige sweatshirt and sweatpants, good for laying around but not good for your sanity as the mere sight of him still manages to make you nervous.

Disbelief can be read on his puffy face, lips pursuing in a slight pout as he looks between you and his brother, waiting for an explanation. Other than that, your presence in his house doesn’t seem to affect him too greatly.

“What’s this?” He finally lets out, rolling his eyes when Jihun greets him loudly like they haven’t seen each other in a while. His voice is deeper than usual, presumably sleepy and you almost feel bad for disturbing his rest. Almost.

“Y/n came to see you!” Jihun blurts out, wrapping an arm around Yuri’s shoulders to pull her closer.

His curious gaze meets yours and you feel your breath hitch in your throat, like a deer caught in headlights under his piercing eyes. Every single fiber of your being is telling you to run away, forget about what you wanted to do and just go home, closing the chapter of Han Jisung without any type of closure. However, the dormant anger that’s still bubbling in your veins at the behaviour he displayed for the past month, dictates otherwise.

So, your own gaze narrows as you manage to shake off all the nerves and doubts lingering on the surface. “We need to talk.”

Not being able to control his reaction, Jihun gasps, surprised by the animosity that floats in the air between you two. Jisung on the other hand, remains as calm as ever, nonchalantly shoving his hands in his pockets. “About?”

Your silence is louder than any spoken reason as you continue to glare at the blonde, not budging until he gives in. But Jisung is just as stubborn, meeting your challenging gaze head-on, firmly convinced there’s nothing you two need to talk about. Not anymore.

To the side and well out of the loop, Jihun and Yuri can’t help but snicker under their breaths, finding your glaring match positively adorable. Not like they’ll admit it out loud though.

After a few tense moments, the older brother butts it. “You should listen to her, Jisung.”

“Shut the fuck up.” He snaps, his glare and hidden anger finding another victim which takes you by complete surprise. If he shares your sentiment, Jihun doesn’t let it show because his whole demeanour changes instantly and his kind eyes and smile are replaced by an icy glare, one that causes Jisung to look away and sigh in a blink of an eye.

The exchange gives you whiplash but it seems it’s what Jisung needed to give in and turn to you, tugging the ends of his honey blonde locks in an obvious show of uncertainty. He didn’t want to do this – talk to you – it’s obvious by his tense body language alone.

“Come on.” He mumbles in your direction, not even waiting for a reaction before turning around and making his way up the stairs, two at a time. It hurts but your anger helps you push forward, following him before giving the other two, especially Jihun, a grateful smile to which they reply warmly.

Jisung’s room is at the end of a long hallway and you hesitate before stepping in, quickly dawning on you it is going to be the first time you see his safe space, his sanctuary. Seeing someone’s room was on another level of intimacy, especially since this is the place he grew up in, a level he only seemed to have reached with your brother and his many hookups.

When you do enter, he signals for you to close the door as he makes himself comfortable on the couch that’s pushed at the other end of the room.

You’re left in awe at the layout that’s two times bigger than your own room back at your parents’ house, split into two. On one side, Jisung has a big, double bed, neatly made, along with a dresser and two end tables, all dark wood. But on the other side, facing the huge windows that are currently engulfing the whole room in a warm light, is a makeshift studio with all the necessary equipment. Laptop, keyboard and guitar are all very impressive but what steals your attention is the adjustable mic surrounded by soundproof foam and all the music sheets scattered everywhere, filled with his recognizable handwriting. The couch at the far end of the room, on his little studio’s side, looks exactly like the one from Changbin’s place, just sporting black leather instead of brown.

Somehow, the lived in space makes you feel like you’re intruding. But, by his relaxed stance, splayed on the couch, Jisung doesn’t feel the same. He looks almost comfortable, as comfortable as he can be with all the tension floating around and threatening to suffocate you both.

You being in his room isn’t a big deal to him, like you’ve been here numerous times already. What is, however, is the conversation he’s dreading to have with you.

“So,” he sighs, tired, the bags under his eyes visible even through the lenses, “what did you want to talk about?”

There’s no sign of the usual fondness in his voice, no warmth or anything of the sort and it suddenly makes you feel like you’re two strangers, forced to interact for a uni project.

Han Jisung, for all the years you’ve known him, has never spoken to you like this. A pet name, a joke or a blinding smile was always present when you interacted, no matter how down or out of it he was. It made you feel cared for, special even. Now it just felt like the past you shared was suddenly washed away like the writing on a blackboard.

Pulling yourself together enough to look at him, you reach into one pocket and fish out the necklace he gave you, his eyes widening briefly at the sight. Almost like someone hit him right in the stomach.

“I came to return this to you.” You shrug, delicately placing the jewellery on the table.

He shakes his head before you can even finish the sentence, sitting straighter, and that’s when you notice he’s still wearing your ring, still on the finger you placed it. Even more so, it’s the only ring he’s wearing.

“I don’t want it.” He scoffs. “I gave it to you, so keep it.”

“Well, I don’t want it either.” You frown, crossing your arms over your chest at his stubbornness. “It’s your necklace, take it.”

“No.”

Is all he says and you can tell by the look in his eyes that he’s expecting you to drop it, take the necklace back and leave. Too bad you’re done pleasing him.

Letting out a big sigh, you drop your arms. “Don’t be difficult for no reason, Jisung.”

“Me?” He gives you an incredulous look. “How about you stop being difficult and actually tell me why you’re here?”

Okay, you didn’t take into account the possibility of him seeing right through you and your silly, made-up reason. Abandon ship, everybody out!

You don’t respond and for a moment, you’re left staring each other down like you’re lifelong enemies. Throughout the years, you and Jisung have never disagreed on anything so the fact that you’re arguing right now, on the verge of an actual fight, must be as strange for him as it’s for you.

A lover’s quarrel, like Jihun whispered when you were making your way up the stairs. Only, you’re not even lovers, just quarreling for no reason at all.

“Fine.” You give in, leaning against the desk as you glare him down. “You’ve been ignoring me since Changbin’s party. Why?”

Jisung is so taken aback by your bluntness that he’s left scrambling for an answer, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. He’s not used to being confronted like this, you can tell. His groupies and hookups would never because they were aware that as soon as they opened their mouths to even try, they’d be dropped faster than an elective class.

Clearing his throat, he manages to pull himself together to reply. “I helped you get back at Minho. What more do you want from me?”

The way he says it, with such indifference hits you like a slap in the face. “Wait, are you fucking serious?”

You move away from the desk, towards him, anger, hurt and disappointment flashing behind your wild eyes. Something he seems to notice by the way he curls into himself, almost like he wants to become one with the couch.

“So, everything that happened between us means absolutely nothing to you?”

Without meaning to, your voice cracks at the end and that’s when he stands up as well, the look in his eyes much different than the tone of his voice. Softer, more mellow.

“To me?!” Jisung takes a step forward, which only prompts you to take one back, increasing the distance. Being too close to him was always dangerous territory – you could never think straight when he was within arm’s reach. “You’re the one that used me to make Minho mad! Everything you claim happened between us was done with upsetting him in mind.”

Then, much softer than he’s been today, eyes boring right into yours with a familiar intensity, he adds. “Don’t suddenly act like you have feelings for me.”

That’s the moment your heart stops, right in his unknowing hands. It feels like he suddenly squeezed and blocked all the valves from pumping the blood correctly, stealing your heartbeat in the process. You’re left staring at him, mouth part and with tears welling up in your eyes but for the first time in your life, Jisung doesn’t rush to comfort you like he always does.

You’ve cried in front of him before and his first instinct was to reach out and bury your face in his sturdy chest, letting you soak his shirt without a care in the world. Now, he just looks away, jaw clenched in mild discomfort and you have no idea what to do.

Tearing your wavering gaze away from him to give your poor heart a break, you mumble. “You’re horrible, Han Jisung.”

He snorts, without any hint of amusement, stepping closer and getting a hold of your chin to gently turn your face towards his. “Tell me something I don’t know, Y/n.”

Looking into his eyes, you search the beautiful brown void for a glimpse of the fondness he usually displayed in front of you. Something that can tell you what he’s actually feeling, anything. But there’s nothing, just an unexplainable sadness that tears you apart piece by piece, slowly and painfully.

But not painful enough to silence you. “If either one of us is acting right now, that’s you.”

His eyes narrow, but he doesn’t push you away. “Don’t speak like you know me, Y/n. You have no idea how well I can actually act.”

“Sure do.” You shrug, boldly inching closer to his face. “You’ve been acting like you gave a fuck about me for a month straight. That takes serious talent.”

Jisung smirks, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes as he steps back, letting go of you. “Well, the play is officially over. There’s no reason for you to be here any longer so, feel free to leave.”

And suddenly, all of your subdued anger is back. “Why are you being like this?” You throw your hands up, carefully studying his every reaction. “Aren’t you tired of always hiding yourself behind countless masks and personas? Tired of never saying what you think?”

Judging by the deep sigh he lets out, Jisung is in fact tired. If it’s of you or the situation at hand, you don’t know, but he looks exhausted, tugging at the ends of his hair while throwing his glasses aside, on the couch.

“Fine, you want to know what I think?” He spreads his arms out, almost like inviting you in, eyes as sharp as ever while his voice raises in volume slightly. “I hate that all I was to you was a fucking way to upset Minho! I hate how you could bring yourself to use me like I meant nothing!”

By now, you’re also growing tired and more irritable, reaching to harshly rub at your eyes before getting closer, close enough to feel his body heat and hear his ragged breath. “Will you stop saying that? I didn’t use you, Jisung!”

“Then what the fuck do you call what we’ve been doing, Y/n?” His voice is loud, but he doesn’t cross the line into yelling territory. He does everything in his power to remain composed, to respect you to some extent. You can tell by this back-and-forth that neither of you is a fan of arguing and that the whole ordeal is stressing you out greatly.

But if that’s the only way you can get your point across to Jisung, it had to be done.

“I don’t know!” You exclaim just as loud, restless. “I came to you because Minho wronged me and I knew you would have my back! Never once in my life did I want to hurt you!”

Silence follows your outburst and you’re both left staring at each other, analysing every breath, twitch or movement. His gaze soon tears away from you, eyes downcast as he moves his weight from one foot to the other, mumbling. “Technically, we wronged Minho first when we kissed back then.”

You nod, recalling the conversation you’ve had with your brother a week ago. “Right. Should I also accuse you of using me back when you were thinking about another girl while kissing me?”

That’s low, you know it is, a hit below the belt that has Jisung’s eyes widening and snapping to yours in a mere second. He can’t seem to answer for a moment, and you suddenly feel horrible for reminding him of the heartbreak he went through back then, realising you went a bit too far with your pettiness this time around.

But Jisung shakes it off like it didn’t even happen, face settling into another sturdy mask like you didn’t just shatter the previous one.

When he looks at you now, a shiver runs down your spine as he towers over you, quickly bouncing back from the biting remark. “Why? Are you going to throw a tantrum in a fit of jealousy? Act like a spoiled brat again?”

Something in the way he says that last part of the sentence makes your knees go weak, whole atmosphere changing along with the suffocating tension that is now almost delicious. He’s deflecting again, you know it, but you can’t bring yourself to go back or hold it against him, not when he gave you the perfect opportunity to finally tell him how you feel. To finally let to light these feelings you’ve nurtured for him for years.

You aren’t expecting him to return any of it, though. That’s not why you came here, either. You just want to finally get them off your chest, pass all of this unrequited love to him in hopes that your body and mind will feel just a little bit lighter.

So, in a bold display of confidence, you ignore your shaking hands and remaining anger and step closer until you’re chest to chest, looking up into his eyes with sincerity. “Since I seem to love you, I actually might.”

Jisung’s whole bravado collapses instantly, mouth parting while his eyebrows shoot up in complete surprise, not believing his ears. That was the last thing he was expecting to come out of your mouth, you can tell because you’re just as surprised at the ease with which the words tumbled out.

Taking a whole step back, Jisung’s hands find your shoulders as he leans down to rest his forehead against yours, not allowing you to break eye contact even for a second.

“Say that again.” The heart you’ve sought after for so long is pounding in his chest in the same tune as yours, almost like they were having a whole separate conversation. Confessing their love again and again with only the sweetest words, longing for the day they’ll finally be together through you and him.

Your heart felt whole again when you were with him, returning to its rightful place and bringing life back into your almost dormant body.

The words get stuck in your throat and you suddenly wish he could read your mind, hear for himself the extent of your feelings because, at this point, you’re sure love is too trivial of a word to accurately describe what you feel when he’s around. What you’ve always felt for him.

“I…” His hands move up to cup both of your cheeks tenderly and you melt, forgetting every thought you’ve ever had that is not related to Han Jisung. “I’m in love with you, Jisung. Truly.”

He sighs and bows his head, the hot air hitting your lips and making goosebumps appear all over your body. When he speaks, his words come out barely above a whisper, a stark contrast to the way he was speaking ten minutes ago.

“Don’t…play with me, Y/n. I don’t think my heart will be able to take it.”

You shake your head, every single muscle in your body shivering against him but not because of the cold – with anticipation. There it was, the moment you’ve dreamt about years upon years. You better not mess it up now; don’t mess up your chance at finally being able to move on.

“I could never play about something like that.” You exhale, coaxing his head up with your own hand before letting it rest against the soft cheek. “I’ve had feelings for you since high school but I’ve only realized how strong they are this past month.”

Jisung stares at you with stars in his eyes, almost like every word that left past your lips was enthralling him, putting him under a strong spell neither of you could fathom.

“I’ve never been in love with anyone so I have nothing to compare it to but, I’m pretty sure what I feel towards you is love. Raw and authentic from the bottom of my selfish heart.” You finish, never once breaking eye contact in the hopes that the sincerity behind your words will reach him ultimately. And it does, because his breath hitches in his heart-shaped throat and his hands move to bring you even closer, hugging you to his chest in a way he’s only done a handful of times which causes the both of you to melt against each other like two burning candles.

When you were together, you always seemed to burst into flames, burning everyone and everything around beside him. Because he was welcomed among those flames with open arms and a fireproof suit he never wanted to put on. He instead chose to burn alongside you, not scared of the pain or all the inevitable damage the fire caused.

Poetic, or stupid? Maybe both, but Jisung didn’t care in the slightest when it came to you.

He inhales deeply, never wanting to forget any detail of this moment, including your calming scent, and you can feel the movement of his chest against yours, can feel everything.

“You love me?” The question comes out quietly like he can barely believe it himself, his hold on you loosening just in case you wanted to step away. “Me?”

He emphasizes the word ‘me’ like you weren’t the only people in the room, disbelief being written all over his pretty face. Your heart is racing at miles per hour by this point but you push through the nerves, nodding without any hesitation.

“Who else but you, Jisung?” You don’t think he can be even more surprised than he already was but Jisung proves you wrong when he almost chokes on his own saliva, turning his head to the side in embarrassment. The tips of his ears are quickly turning red, the colour travelling all the way down to his neck, most likely kissing his covered collarbones too. It’s a very endearing side of him you’ve never had the pleasure of seeing before, adorable even, that settles the wild butterflies in your stomach enough to give you the chance to breathe.

Then, without a word, he lets go of you and takes several steps back and that’s when panic sets in.

“I’m sorry!” is the first thing you blurt out, visibly shaken up. “I didn’t mean to come on too strongly! I just needed to get this off my chest, you don’t even have to say anything, I understand – “

You don’t get the chance to finish your monologue because the next moment, Jisung surprises you by closing the distance and gently cupping your face to plant the sweetest kiss on your lips, one that makes your knees actually wobble. Your lips dance with each other slowly, in a passionate waltz worthy of a standing ovation, so sweet and innocent it makes your head spin and your hands move to grab at his sweatshirt for support.

You’re so taken aback by the gesture that it barely registers in your head when he pulls away, chasing after him with your eyes still closed and basking in the sweet afterglow of his kiss. Chuckles under his breath make them flutter open and you’re greeted by a faint smile, shy but the most genuine one he’s ever sported in your presence.

“I – “ You clear your throat, still a little dizzy but Jisung shakes his head and leans down to plant another kiss on your lips, soft and fleeting, succeeding in shutting you up for good.

Still in the middle of his room, the setting sun is now painting everything inside in the warmest yellow, the golden hour making Han Jisung look even more beautiful than usual. Breathtaking and oh so cuddly, one of your hands can’t help but move to push some of his smooth hair out of his face tenderly, warming up as he leans into the touch instantly.

All of the tension on his face is gone as he looks down at you with a smile, thumb caressing your cheekbone. “Did you think I was going to reject you?”

You hesitate for a moment before nodding, your hands dropping by your side as Jisung’s only response is a hearty laugh, feeling a bit embarrassed. Just because he didn’t reject you until now, that didn’t mean it wasn’t coming. For him, it might’ve been funny but you’ve kept all of those feelings locked away for so long, hiding them from everyone that disapproved that now you were almost afraid he was going to disapprove as well, not want them either.

“Sweetheart.” He whispers, pecking your forehead like it was the most natural thing in the world, the return of the pet name almost bringing tears to your eyes. “For all the years we’ve known each other, when have I ever been capable of saying no to you?”

The realization his words bring hits you out of nowhere, years of memories made with Jisung flashing before your eyes as your brain tries to sort through them all for such an instance. The search isn’t successful because like he said, that never happened. Jisung has never said no to you, no matter how silly, petty or downright stupid your requests were.

As you remember it all, and have countless epiphanies, the emotions overwhelm you so suddenly that you find yourself throwing your arms around his shoulder in seek of comfort, melting when he returns the embrace without a second thought. He’s so warm and so comfortable and you feel so safe – you can’t cry now!

Then, the unexpected happens. “I love you too, baby.”

Your eyes almost pop out of their sockets as his confession causes you to pull away so fast, but not far, to look at him, observe the look on his face to make sure he isn’t playing a stupid prank. Jisung…loves you back? What?! Never in a million years did you think he’d return your feelings, with such ease too. He didn’t leave your flowers out in the cold – he picked each and every one of them and kept them safe until you got the chance to meet in person.

He frowns at the disbelief on your face, and your distance, so he decides to take matters into his own hands and fix it all. Without a word, he leans down and connects your lips again, only this time, the kiss is not as soft and careful.

Jisung kisses you like he means it, like he wants to pour all of his love right into your mouth until you drown in it and finally believe its authenticity. It all becomes desperate pretty quickly as you’re flush against him, one hand cupping his face as the other tugs at the ends of his hair while his arms move everywhere on your body, restless. He’s gripping your hips, licking into your mouth and you can’t help but moan into the wet kiss, granting him all the access he could ever want.

His sounds join yours when your nails graze his undercut, moving upwards to tug at the bleached hair as he leaves your mouth to give some attention to your neck too. Kissing the side of your throat, he leaves a trail of your combined saliva along the expanse of it with every bruise he sucks on your neck, the slight pain almost euphoric. It’s hot – you feel overheated and strangely jealous as he basically makes out with your neck instead of you.

“You better put the necklace back on when I’m done…” He mumbles close to your ear, kissing your cheek before guiding you back to his lips with two fingers on your chin, sighing in pleasure at the contact.

Even though he’s basically tongue fucking you right now, the hesitation with which he moves is obvious as his hands don’t wander anywhere they weren’t allowed to, don’t grope or caress, nor move under your top or bra. It is a bit disappointing but you’re aware of the conversation that still needed to take place, so, you understand.

Jisung respects you too much to take things further before confessing properly.

“Put it on me yourself.” You murmur with a smile that only grows when you pull away the slightest bit and he whines, desperately bringing you back to continue kissing your already swollen lips.

Gripping at his sweatshirt, Jisung takes it off in one swift motion before going back to kissing, goosebumps visible on his toned arms. This continues on for a few moments more until he breaks the kiss for good, leaving you both breathless, chest heaving up and down as the string of saliva that connected your mouths falls apart.

He’s breathing heavily as he guides you both to the couch, the frantic rhythm of his heart resembling the beat of one of his many songs. Facing each other, Jisung pulls you closer by the waist until your legs are thrown over his thighs and you’re sharing the same breath again, not being able to function while you’re sitting so far away.

Clearing his throat, you draw shapes on his chest through the white t-shirt he’s wearing, equally as lovesick.

“I think a part of me has always loved you, even if it wasn’t romantic from the get-go.”

Your heart grows at the words, arms moving around his neck again as your heart joins him in making a new song. He’s massaging your thighs in the most innocent way, eyes darting all over the place while trying to calm down and finally convey his feelings properly. Jisung is a perfectionist, he has to do this right.

Even if he’s trying to have a serious conversation, he can’t stop himself from planting another kiss on your cheek, which causes you to smile brightly and return the gesture.

“We should really talk about it, about our feelings.” You nod and he smiles, the setting sun behind him creating a halo around his head. Which would normally be hilarious to you since Jisung is far from being an angel. He’s lucky he didn’t catch anything yet –

“About everything, really.” He continues on, breathing now even. “Yeah, baby? Let’s talk about those feelings of ours and see where we want to go from here.”

And you nod, relieved and happier than ever because finally, you can talk about it. Finally, you can let it all out without feeling like you’re doing something wrong.

Finally, someone is willing to listen to you without judgment or disappointment. Without shaking their heads or lectures like you were a convicted criminal or something of the sort.

Finally, you can love Jisung openly, without having all the odds against you. And he…can love you back! Oh my god, Jisung loves you, too!

Right in your stupid face, Minho!

・❥・・❥・・❥・

♡. taglist: @liknws @scarletbedlam @xhazmania @skzpvol @slut4colinbridgerton @sealovesbts @stickycrusadecollective @byullielle @princelingperfect @realrintaro @ilychee08 @mysweethannie @jetblackbelle @hanjisunginc @whitney190 @emyladia @hanschimpmunk @briqnne @heeheehoohoohahahihi @lvrgrl-xo @adestayskz @imsiriuslyreal @dprkbyn @hyunsungbased @dandycharmer @thepeopleintheback @fashominnie @ch4nniebang @emikisses @skzhoes @drhsthl @baribaaari @highlydestiny @starsandrqindrops @queerpumpkinnn @lilmarkieepooh

#okay im gnna go sob in the corner now #“violence is my favorite answer then” WHY IS THIS MEEEEEEEEE #too mad to speak proper english 😭😭 FELIX HAS BEEN SUCH A MOOD #“since i seem to love you i actually might” SHIT #elle✩reccs #stray kids #stray kids x reader #han jisung x reader #han jisung

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byullielle · 7 months

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removing monthly line-ups for now + posting more irregularly because college suddenly became hectic 😮‍💨

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byullielle · 7 months

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OH MY GOD OH MY GOD IT'S HAPPENING IM GONNA KMS I CANNOT BREATHE—

youtube

#skz #skz minsung #minsung #lee know #han #FUCK #OH ITS SO WHIMSICAL I THINK IM GUNNA RIP MY HEART RIGHT OUT #WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON #OH MY MINSUNG HEART *CANNOT*#GIRLS WAKE UP MINSUNG POSTED #Youtube #NO CAUSE HAN JISUNG IS SPITTING BARS #LOVE HANJI FR #THE FLOW MAN I MIGHT FALL IN LOVE #IM TOO FAR GONE

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byullielle · 7 months

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ZESTY VOCABULARY DJDJSIJFIS?$?#?$#??#?$?#!$?!$

BANGCHAN'S RANDOM BOYFRIEND TEXTS / x gn!reader

wow! you will never believe what it is! it's another birthday edition post! i hope our best leader will be happy and healthy! btw thanks for 10k likes (tumblr said so) and for 700 followers (i still don't know you tho don't get it twisted)🐺🖤

GENRE | at this point it's always goofy

WARNINGS | hard swearing ig

(y'all just got sunghooned btw)

#elle✩reccs #skz bang chan #bang chan smau

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byullielle · 7 months

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omg 143, yall know what that means 😫😫

You Can't Read My Mind // Hwang Hyunjin x AFAB!Reader

FU In My Head, Cloudy June Y/N, unknowingly dating a mind-reader is at a disadvantage. Every time her thoughts drift to her absolutely charming and mischievous boyfriend, it takes a turn for the worst–the indulgences she conjures up about Hyunjin are simply unspeakable for the most part

Tags: Mind-Reading, Smut, Erotic Daydreaming, Unprotected Sex, Sex Toys (Candles, Vibrators, Hitachi Wands, Handcuffs), Tease!Hyunjin, Mildly Perv!Reader, Masturbation, Hwang Hyunjin has A Tongue Piercing, Cunnilingus, Kinda Fluffy/Tender Smut

Disclaimer: A scene comes up in where the reader thinks of Hyunjin fucking up a slim paintbrush handle but it never materializes. MINORS DNI. NSFW Content.

5.1k Words

A slight mewl is punched out of you, the sting making itself known on your thigh, then your stomach. It's a little bit fuzzy, but you look down as Hyunjin lets the wax drip onto your stomach, making you whimper before a gasp is punched out of you. Your clit throbs against his tongue as your hips jut up a bit, whimpering against the sheets while he continues to make out with your pussy, candle not forgotten as the occasional drips sting on your skin, making you yelp and moan wantonly.

He's beautiful, looking up at you with a very teasing glint in his eyes before slipping off your pussy, fluids on his lips and chin. He snuffs out the candle and lets the last remnant drip on your skin. "Look at you," he whispers under his breath, "My muse," he gruffly states while fucking you down with his eyes.

The keys on the door suddenly jingle as you shake your head and close your legs, the mildly pornographic Netflix film that triggered your thoughts to spiral left unwatched continues to play. Immediately reaching for the remote, you exit the show and turn the TV off before your beloved boyfriend comes through the door, bag on one shoulder and hair already untied.

You smile at him, hopping off the couch before flinging yourself towards him. "Welcome home!"

"Oof, now isn't this a welcome," he giggles before gently moving your bangs out of the way and pressing a kiss on your forehead, "I'm home," he smiles down at you.

Your ears were still a little bit warm from the sudden daydream you went through, sure that there was at least a sliver of slick seeping through your folds, thankful that you wore pretty thick underwear. "How's your day?" you ask, voice unfaltering while you head to the kitchen to reheat the kimchi-jjigae you made earlier while he dresses down from work. "Oh the usual, choreography finally got finalized and we're ready to hit the road," he explains before stretching up and joining you in the kitchen.

"What about you, pretty girl, what were you up to today?"

"Closed a deal with a client and I'm halfway done with their commission project," you hum, handing him a bowl of rice and soup. "Overall it was productive,"

"Yea I bet," he says with a slight mischief to his tone. You couldn't help but jut your brow up at the statement before opening the fridge and pulling out a bottle of aloe drink. "Did you eat already?" he asks while mixing the soup around, responding to him with a nod.

You lean on the counter, watching him eat and savor the food with his usual sad expression and slight tremble which makes you chuckle internally, 'Cute,' you think. He looks up at you abruptly, raising his brows, "Enjoying yourself up there?" he asks as you laugh, "Yeah, it's fun watching you eat," you immediately concede. " 'S that so?" he scoffs and continues to eat.

To spare him some sort of privacy you turn around and start on the dishes that both of you left to accumulate since this morning, a handful of pots you vowed to ‘wash after soaking,’ hitting it’s 2-day mark.

It’s quiet once more in the car, the dishes rendering your thoughts open and vulnerable once more. ‘What the fuck was that,’ you recall, quite ashamed at the thoughts that coursed through your brain 30 minutes ago. Wax play? Ever since when were you into pain anyways? And did either of you even own a pair of handcuffs?

Hyunjin was a very tender and passionate guy when it came to sex, always thorough and romantic and that also translated in the way yu thought of him when it came to a little bit more depraved crevices in your brain. Even as he hypothetically splattered wax onto your skin he was still tender and very much attentive. Shaking your head, you try to snap out of it, you weren’t supposed to even start rationalizing the slew of horny thoughts–it is what it is, and having occasional daydreams of getting fucked silly with candle wax wasn’t as depraved as other fantasies. You were fine.

A hand on your waist shocks you so much you drop a pot down the sink as it splashes out slightly, also making Hyunjin recoil a bit. “Woah, princess, it’s just me,” he chuckles before pressing a kiss on your nape, making you shiver out a bit, “What’s going on through your pretty little head huh?” he asks you as you sigh and shake your head, “Maybe I’m just tired,” you let out a stammering laugh.

“Let me,” he turns the sink on for you, urging you to rinse your hands and leave the dishes to him, “You sure?”

“Positive. Go take a rest baby, put on something for us to watch,” he further tries to gently push you away from the sink with his hips before starting to take the sponge.

“If you say so,” you pout and lean to press a kiss on his cheek.

“Let me take care of this,” he then says something that makes your goosebumps rise up unimaginably so, “Just go sit there and be my pretty little muse,”

You make a double take on him but he’s already facing the dishes. The expression on your face was one of befuddled shock, snapping yourself out as quick as you could before Hyunjin shakes his head with a soft smile on his face. ‘Wax play huh?’ he recalls the events he saw in your mind, ‘Never knew you were into that too my muse,’

You nurse your cup within your hands, knees up your chest while you watch Hyunjin focus on his canvas. It's a quiet Saturday morning, both your days off when you can just simmer in the comfort of silence. You try to keep your eyes off him but he's just so beautiful, with his hair tied back and a small streak of green paint across his cheek.

His arms move along the motions of the canvas, making you bite your lower lip just a bit. Your imagination starts dwindling once more, eyes constantly following the trail of his arm. You hesitate a bit, not wanting to immediately go to that route especially when he was doing something mundane and something he loved, why would you dirty it like that. ‘It’s only dirty if he finds out,’ the devil on your shoulder reasons out, and suddenly you’re pulled back into your wild imagination.

"Tickles?" he asks as your breath hitches, the clean and damp brush running across your pebbled nipples, the dark obscuring your vision as he chuckles lowly. The bristles run past your stomach, then your inner thigh making you sigh out, "I wonder what would happen if I fuck this brush into you sweetheart," he asks which makes you want to gasp, a moan punched out instead. “You like that huh,” he hums, warm hands travelling the expanse of your legs. “Jinnie,” you whine, needy and wanton to your little heart’s desire.

In the real world you’re taking another sip of your drink, eyes plastered on the words of the book you were reading without comprehending anything. Drifting back, Hyunjin gently swipes the brush up your clit, making you let out a stuttered breath, “Oh,” you couldn’t help but dumbly let out as he giggles, airy and light, “Like that? I’m just like painting you into existence,” he leans down and presses a kiss against your lip, capturing your tongue into his mouth before a sloppy sound makes your ears heat up with need. The sweet obscenity of it all, it was delicious.

“Only for you,” you manage to let out as he hums, “For me? You exist for me darling?” he questions before turning the paintbrush and letting the blunt tip gently run down the center of your thorax down to your belly button. “What a treat,” he hums in delight before lowering the brush further, facing your entrance directly.

"Y/N?" his voice jolts you up, making your drink splash around a little bit as small speckles land on your thigh and the blanket draped over you, "Sorry?" you swallow down heavily, looking to him as he smiles sympathetically, "You alright there? You've been staring off since a while ago,"

"I–I'm fine," you squeak out, further tightening your thighs against your body, "I just…drifted off in my thoughts," you chuckle as he hums.

He stands from the artist's stool and wipes his hands off a damp towel, wiping the stain of paint off his cheek with the pad of his thumb. He starts walking closer towards you, subconsciously making you tighten the handle of the mug into your hand, "Sure?" he asks, stepping in front of you before placing a hand on your forehead, "You're warm darling, are you sure you're alright?" he asks.

You nod, taking his hands into yours after setting the mug down, “Why don’t you come nap with me,” you urge, and he laughs out almost as if he’s in disbelief. “A nap? Really?” ‘After that thing you just conjured up’ he nearly answers but bites his tongue. “What if I wanna do something else other than nap my muse?” he questions making your heart drop down to your pussy.

“H-Huh?”

He chuckles, an octave lower before leaning down to face you directly, “What if I wanted something else rather than a nap? Hm? Don’t you think we could have fun today?” he swipes the blanket off you and before you can turn your legs he grabs them and sets them on his shoulders, getting on his knees as your breath hitches.

“J-Jinnie, baby, what–”

“Wanna eat you out,” he presses a gentle kiss against your bare thigh, the metal on his tongue making itself known, sleep shorts riding up your legs, “Please?”

You needed the comfort anyway. You’ve been wet and throbbing since a while ago, why would you pass up this opportunity so quickly? “Okay,” you give him the signal before he nearly tears your shorts and underwear off you.

He comes face to face with your glistening pussy, a groan coming from him as he runs a gentle finger on the fold, making you sigh out. “So so pretty,” he hums in appreciation before nipping on your inner thigh with a smile filled with mischief.

“Is your thigh somehow more sensitive than I’ve anticipated my muse?”

“Jinnie,” you scold whiningly.

“Sorry sorry, my bad,” he teases further, but gets closer to your bare cunt as he looks up at you with adoration, making you grab the blanket beside you and just clutch. You knew you were going to be here for a while.

A small whimper escapes your lips, pinching down your nipple as the hitachi wand presses against your clit. "Ohh fuck," you let out, the slick leaking off your pussy. In your mind, Hyunjin was helping you, his chest pressed against your back as he toys with the other nipple.

"And stop," he whispers against your ear as you shut the hitachi off, hips jutting up. Your breathing is heavy, the hitachi on one hand as you wait for a solid minute until the fabricated voice of his' in your head urges you to, "Go again,"

You press the wand against your clit again, imagining his slender fingers roaming your body so thoroughly you start to feel the delicious lick of shame set ablaze onto your spine. The slick gushes out of your folds, a choppy whine escaping you before another command echoes through the confines of your mind, "Stop,"

"Fuck, Hyunjin," you let out, pornographic and high from pleasure as your hands tremble around the wand. You still have your shirt half on, your panties pooled around your ankles while your bra is tucked under your breasts. You knew you looked like a wreck. "Look at you. Would it help if I gave you one of my boxers to sniff all to your greedy heart's content, sweetheart?" his voice reverberates, making you shiver a bit.

"Perhaps I can even play with you while you still have your underwear on. Stuff you with a vibe while I help you with the wand huh," he jeers and tempts before his hand reaches out on top of yours and envelopes them before turning the wand back on and pressing it against your spent clit.

"Hngh, Hyunjin," you call out, hips thrusting up and your leg slightly trembling before the bedroom door swings open. You gasp and open your eyes in shock to see your boyfriend by the doorway with a boner tenting up his pants.

"H–Hyune!"

"My, my, would you look at that," he clicks his tongue, "Why are you having fun without me my muse?" he tilts his head before folding his arms. The shame smacks you into oblivion as you shut your legs, "I–I didn't know you'd c–come home today," you shyly mutter.

He sighs and chuckles, eyes raking up and down at your disheveled appearance on the bed, "Do you want me to help you sweetheart?" he asks, starting to strip off his shirt as his lithe and lean muscles contract under his skin, deliciously so if you might add.

You hesitantly nod as he crawls towards you on the bed, reaching out for your slightly slicked hand as he pulls you towards him, whispering in your ear which makes goosebumps break out of you like a chill blown through your skin, "How do you want us to do this, my muse?"

"Anything you want Jinnie," you readily respond, wrapping your arms around his neck as he chuckles and presses a tender kiss on your lips, "Let me try reading your mind, huh?" he teases, slotting your lips together before your tongues dance around each other, the breath taken from your lungs and made his'.

"I want to please you, princess," he whispers against your lips, "Want me to stuff a vibe up that drenched pussy of yours? Eating you out while it vibrates?"

You gasp, his word-for-word reiteration of your thoughts surprising you.

"Oh, looks like I hit the jackpot," he softly chuckles, pressing a kiss on the juncture of your jaw and ear, suckling lightly as you mewl out and hold the back of his head with your hand while throwing your head back. "And we can even play with candles darling," he cajoles making you want to protest because it felt like he could really read your mind. He wasn't psychic, was he?

"H-How'd you know?" you stammer as he laughs against your neck.

He presses a kiss on your collarbone, then your sternum, "It's awfully obvious,"

Blood rushes up your cheeks before a surprised yelp escapes you, a nip on your hardened buds shocking you in the best way possible. “Take your time to answer darling,” he breathlessly chuckles against your supple skin, “I can be here all day,”

He swipes his tongue up on your tit, making you whimper before his hands hold your thighs still. The hard metal ball resting on his tongue adds to the pressure, constantly catching on your nipples making you jolt up and try to squeeze your legs closed against Hyunjin’s body.

He stays there, leaning against you as he suckles and lightly bites down at your tits and kisses up your sternum as you scramble for the last of your wits, unable to form any comprehensive sentence.

But it tempts you–the promise and permission to indulge in your thoughts dangling right in front of your face. Candle wax and a dream, what were you to lose when it was his suggestion? “Jin, Jinnie,” you whimper out, making his hum reverberate on your sternum before his eyes flit up, plush lips never leaving your body.

“Do something,” you beg, never beyond you to get immediate gratification.

“And what would that something be my muse?” he gets up from your chest before inching closer to your face again, lips connecting against yours once more, “Oh come on,” you whine, nearly teary.

He laughs, giving a peck, hands roaming the expanse of your nearly naked body, with the shirt still hanging off your shoulder. “Jinnie please,” you pout, but he doesn’t relent. “Please what my darling?”

“You’re cruel,” you whimper. “I know,” he chuckles and bites down on your lower lip teasingly.

You pout, embarrassed to your very core but needy all the same, you clutch his arm and he hums with a tilt of his head, “P-Please?” you sputter out and open your legs a little bit more, “I- I wanna play with wax Jinne, and the vibes too,” you struggle out, looking down at the hand wrapped around your boyfriend’s arm.

“Sure?” he asks and you nod, “W-Why are you so good at this?” you try to joke but he maneuvers you until your back hits his still-clothed chest as he chuckles near your ear, “Maybe I can read your mind,”

You gulp down. The thoughts, the daydreams, it was embarrassing if he really could read your mind. And the fact that he knew how to enact these was hot in a way that shame coursed through you and in you like a leaky faucet. A pervert in every essence of the word. “Don’t worry darling, I find it hot that you think of me this way,” he whispers and leans over to the small toy box on his side of the nightstand before pulling out a candle and lighter from the drawer of said stand. “Y-You have one,” you say in awe.

He hands the lighter in your hand, “Say when and it’s all yours,” he smiles against your ear before biting down softly, making you whine. His legs restrain yours, forcing them open as the cool air hits your bare pussy, your arousal gushing out as he runs his index finger on your folds, making a stuttered gasp escape you.

“So, so wet,” he muses, the pad of his finger suddenly on your overworked clit. “J-Jinne!” you gasp out and throw your head back on his shoulder as your hand tightens on his bicep in pleasure. He then moves his fingers to slowly plunge into your head, the softest squelch coming from it as you’re stopped bucking forward because of his legs pulling you back.

The weighty yet slim pressure was so good, that the delayed gratification you subjected yourself to was finally rewarded. Slipping in another finger, your walls stretch to accommodate his fingers, and a moan is loudly punched out from you as he spreads them a bit, then closes them back down, effectively making you open up a bit.

His other hand pulls the bullet vibrator closer and the anticipation pounds against your chest as your breath picks up into a hitch, and once he raises it up, he slips the small toy into his mouth, the faint clack of the silicone material against the piercing on his tongue still audible as you watch in awe and arousal.

With eyes meeting yours, he smiles down at you slightly. What an absolute tease. You pout and reach out, turning around before slipping the toy off his mouth, a small trail of spit breaking the moment that the toy is out of his lips. Without a word, you slip the toy inside, shakily so while you scrabble for purchase on his shoulder.

A broken staccato of moans are punched out of you once you start slipping the toy in, his hands holding your waist up as you whimper before it fully settles into your warm core, legs trembling. “Comfy?” he asks.

You hold onto his shoulders with your arms wrapped around them, leaning your forehead against his’, “Yeah. Feels nice,” you mumble as he leans over to press a kiss against your lips. You look into his eyes and can’t help but bashfully smile at him, “What’s in your mind cutie?” he asks before reaching for the remote of the vibe, not turning it on yet.

“Nothing. I- I just feel very spoiled right now,”

“If you told me sooner you were into candles I would’ve helped you out a looong~ time ago,” he giggles and presses a kiss on the tip of your nose, “I’ll give the world for you, you know that right?”

Your core squeezes against the toy, making you bite down on your lower lip at the sudden pressure exerted by your walls, “Do something Jinnie,” you beg, making him hum and maneuver your back down against the mattress gently. His hands trail down from the sides of your ribs before the vibrator stuffed inside you starts buzzing.

A sharp inhale burns through your lungs, a sound unable to spill out of you as your legs stiffen.

His lips start trailing down your sternum, then your stomach, then you could feel the stiff metal dig into your tummy, slightly nipping at the small pudge making you yelp out and giggle breathlessly before spasming due to the stimulation within your walls. You were going to go insane and it was in the most delicious way possible.

You can feel him smile against you before his lips and tongue inch down, biting and pressing on your inner thigh. ‘Clothes,’ you suddenly notice, the material of his jeans chafing against your bare legs, and while he presses a kiss on your knee he starts shucking off his shirt, then fumbling with the buttons of his jeans while pressing up on the intensity of the vibe.

Your hands grip and tear into the sheets as it hastens up, forcing your eyes to screw shut as the lighter makes itself known into your palm. You feel his hands on you once more, making you open your eyes starting to grow heavier as he smiles down lovingly, clothes finally out of the way before he dips down between your legs and looks up at you.

His tongue lolls out of his lips, the warm pad of his tongue now pressed against your leaking cunt while his piercing catches on the swollen nub, electricity coursing up your system while curses and moans tumble out of your lips.

The vibrations are buzzing through the soft walls of your core, feeling the slick leave yet his tongue and saliva mixing while the slopping sounds of the fluids make your ears heat up more than they already were, blood pumping through them as if the sounds of the room are zeroed in on the man savoring you like there was no tomorrow.

“J-Jinnie!” you call out, voice caught against his throat as he hums and sends down further vibrations in your core, sucking on your bud lightly before looking up as you hand him the lighter with trembling hands. “I- I don’t think I can last,”

“Oh but you can,” he detaches from you, a trail of slick on his lips, nose, and chin. “Come all you want my darling, it’s fine,” he chuckles before taking the lighter. “Why don’t you have one for me before we play some more?” he smiles, half-lidded and drunk in lust.

Without getting another word in, the vibrations in your cunt fasten up making you tense up and grip his arms before his thumb meets your clit, driving you into cumming faster than you anticipated as you rock your hip forward, thighs trembling and knees hiking up. The sheets are nearly torn off the mattress due to your thrashing and a long, drawn-out moan spills from you, a string of babbles that come in the form of Hyunjin’s name along with it.

He shuts the vibrator off, inserting his fingers to slip it off your hole, making you shudder while catching your breath. He presses a kiss against your inner knee before rubbing the spot.

“There you go,” Hyunjin kisses your cheek before comfortingly, “Want more or are you tired?”

“More,” you scramble up on your elbows while the high dies down, your energy and libido still in peak condition, “Jinnie, I want you to come too,” you pout and cage his face between your hands before placing a tender kiss on his lips, “Please?”

“Can I ask you something?” Jinnie tenderly kisses your palm, “Cockwarm me? While we play with the wax?” he hesitates a bit, now a shy smile playing on his plush lips, “I know it isn’t–”

“--Yes please,” you breathlessly answer, clenching down on nothing. “God, please Jinnie,”

You could see his adam’s apple bob up and down, the darkness in his eyes clouded by lust. “You’re perfect, my muse,” he gently pushes you back down on the bed before crawling up the bed and grabbing some lube and condoms by the nightstand.

You try to reach out once he settles back down, hands wrapping around his dick before he stops you with a hand to your wrist and a hiss, “Darling, I will cum if you try,” he laughs dryly, making you pout but comply anyway, letting go.

He bites off the foil of the condom wrapper, rolling on the latex around his hard member, red at the tip and veins protruding by the underside of his shaft. What you’d give to lick at those veins. He pops off the lube cap and squirts some on his hand.

“Baby, you’re staring,” he bashfully points out while slathering the lubricant on his hard and wrapped cock. You gulp down and avert your eyes up to him, heart squeezing at the sight as his kiss-swollen lips are tucked under his teeth, cheeks, and ears flushed red, sweat trailing down his temple and neck while his brows knit together at the slight pressure he seems to be putting on his cock. He’s gorgeous like this, and you could stare at him forever.

There is a short reprieve, both your eyes meeting again before he sighs with a fond look despite the clear need in his eyes, leaning down back to your vantage point before you wrap one arm around the back of his neck as he pushes down against your lips once more, slotting them together as the soft and plush sensation sends you into cloud nine, floating while the ecstasy of please buzzes around your head, kissed stupid and fucked into a high.

You feel his cockhead press against your clit, making you whimper against his lips while the wet sensation of his tongue swipes through.

He presses down and his head catches in your folds but doesn’t go in yet, still savoring the teasing he’s putting you through before feeling the pout on your lips making him sigh out in muted laughter. You detach your lips from him, mouth opened wide in a gasped moan as his length stretches you out, the delectable spread of your folds enveloping his warm member making goosebumps rise out of you as he grunts before placing his forehead on your shoulder, ragged breaths coming from him.

You slot your hands between his hair, gently raking your fingers against his scalp before hearing a breathless whimper. After a few beats of silence, he sits up again, cock buried deep into you before he combs his hair back with his fingers and then grabs the lighter discarded to the side of your leg. You suck in a breath, making him groan before he could ignite the candle, excitement bubbling in your system as the wick lights aflame.

"Shit, shit. Baby, don't squeeze down," he hisses and presses down against your stomach a bit, a loud and startled mewl escaping you. "J-Jinnie," I stammer out.

The flame burns the door wax down, you stare at it in anticipation until it suddenly drips. Catching you off guard, a sting suddenly makes itself known, and another, scorching heat all over your skin pricking you. A staggering moan escapes you, the sting feeling so good as the scalding heat lingers against your stomach.

"O-Oh fuck!"

"Feel nice?" Hyunjin asks, breathless as he holds up the candle against you, letting it drip down to your sternum, chest, stomach, and thighs. Each stinging drip makes your legs tremble, a knot in your stomach coils up again, a litany of moans and pleasured screams spilling uncontrollably.

Clenching around Hyunjin's length, you start toying with your nipples while the drips around your body continue to assault you with pleasure.

"Jinnie, oh fuck. So good," you moan, eyes closed as he deeply chuckles.

"You look so…wrecked, my muse. So gorgeous,"

You start grinding down against his dick, the pain of the wax making you want to move, scratch the itch in your aching pussy as he hisses and tries to stay still.

Another drip of wax stings against your stomach, making your back arch and leading you to impale yourself more on Hyunjin's cock. It felt good, the gushing pleasure of your core coating his dick and leaking out. A pressure builds up against your lower stomach, "Jinnie!"

He chuckles, slightly dark and menacing as he gently grinds back. "Does it feel good, my pretty girl?"

"S-So good," you manage to stammer out in a growl. "Fuck me please. Jinnie, move, move please"

He gently caresses your cheek, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear and smiling down lovingly. "So polite," he mumbles before blowing the candle out, grabbing your hips and thrusting forward.

Moan after moan is punched out every thrust he makes, sweat dripping down his body and making him look golden, glowing against the bedroom light. "Jinnie! Jinnie, cum please," you shut your eyes in pleasure. 'Cumcumcumcum,' is recited in your mind like a mantra, like a silent plea as he grunts and the grip on your waist bruisingly tightens.

A sudden, punched out moan escapes him, thrusts growing erratic and rougher by the minute as you tear at his arms in blinding pleasure. Warmth coats your pussy, feeling the condom inside you fill out as you clench, your own orgasm pulled out from you as you stutter out a high pitched whine.

Heavy breathing fills the room, Hyunjin looking down at you and tracing the dried down wax splatters on your skin.

"My pretty pretty canvas,"

You smile at him dazedly and tiredly, "All for you," you reach out for his hand and kiss the back of it. I look up at him curiously, "Are you sure you're not a mind reader?"

He laughs, light and airy before pressing a kiss against your lips. "Are you sure that I'm not?" he cocks a brow up, "Darling your fantasies are mine to take anyways, mine to fulfill,"

You shiver at his words, breath quickening and pussy clenching down on him still. He hisses with a smile on his face, wincing, "Oh, looks like someone is still energetic,"

a/n: whew. 5k words for smut is surprising to me cause damn i got carried away if anything.

#skz hyunjin #stray kids hyunjin #stray kids hyunjin smut #stray kids smut #skz smut #hwang hyunjin smut #hyunjin smut #hwang hyunjin x reader #hyunjin x reader #hyunjin x reader smut #stray kids x reader smut #stray kids #hyunjin

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byullielle · 7 months

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bang chan birthday texts!! .•* ☆

pairing: bang chan x gn!reader

warnings: language, attempted humor

bonus messages unlocked!! •*. ☆

posted bull!chan for skztober but wanted to do something birthday based for chan!! happy birthday to our leader and to one of my most favorite people in existence! thank you for sharing your light with us and thank you for being born ♡

✿: @hhwangsmoon @straywrds @l3visbby @armysantiny @hwajin @casualtaelyn @staybangchan @hopeladybug @midsoulz @aestheticsluut @venustired @abiaswreck @deathlypink @djeniryuu @rachabreathing @alyszaen @starlostseungmin @bokk-minnie @spicymooseeyes @downbadreading @moasworld @ren0325 @ketchupaeternum @like-a-diamondinthesky @itsgivingitalian @sea-moon-star @idkluvutellme @thisisnotjacinta @hyunjinswifeee @warren-thedarkangel @babrieeee @chartrucewhore @veedoesntknaur @mixtape-racha

↳ If you liked this please consider commenting or reblogging! It would really mean the world to me ♡

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byullielle · 8 months

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OMG I spent the last TWO weeks searching for your Bangchan Yakuza fic cause I read the first part and then forgot to put a like and finally I found you again 😭 THANK GOD! just needed to tell you this cause I thought it was over and then Boom you back on my feed

hi hi glad to have you back friend 😭😭😭 it flatters me that you're stoked to find me again LMAO. i kinda find it funny, this low-key made my day

#elle's ★ ask box

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byullielle · 8 months

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You Can't Read My Mind // Hwang Hyunjin x AFAB!Reader

Disclaimer: A scene comes up in where the reader thinks of Hyunjin fucking up a slim paintbrush handle but it never materializes. MINORS DNI. NSFW Content.

5.1k Words

You smile at him, hopping off the couch before flinging yourself towards him. "Welcome home!"

"Oof, now isn't this a welcome," he giggles before gently moving your bangs out of the way and pressing a kiss on your forehead, "I'm home," he smiles down at you.

"What about you, pretty girl, what were you up to today?"

"Closed a deal with a client and I'm halfway done with their commission project," you hum, handing him a bowl of rice and soup. "Overall it was productive,"

“Let me,” he turns the sink on for you, urging you to rinse your hands and leave the dishes to him, “You sure?”

“Positive. Go take a rest baby, put on something for us to watch,” he further tries to gently push you away from the sink with his hips before starting to take the sponge.

“If you say so,” you pout and lean to press a kiss on his cheek.

“Let me take care of this,” he then says something that makes your goosebumps rise up unimaginably so, “Just go sit there and be my pretty little muse,”

"I–I'm fine," you squeak out, further tightening your thighs against your body, "I just…drifted off in my thoughts," you chuckle as he hums.

“H-Huh?”

“J-Jinnie, baby, what–”

“Wanna eat you out,” he presses a gentle kiss against your bare thigh, the metal on his tongue making itself known, sleep shorts riding up your legs, “Please?”

“Is your thigh somehow more sensitive than I’ve anticipated my muse?”

“Jinnie,” you scold whiningly.

"H–Hyune!"

"I want to please you, princess," he whispers against your lips, "Want me to stuff a vibe up that drenched pussy of yours? Eating you out while it vibrates?"

You gasp, his word-for-word reiteration of your thoughts surprising you.

"H-How'd you know?" you stammer as he laughs against your neck.

He presses a kiss on your collarbone, then your sternum, "It's awfully obvious,"

He stays there, leaning against you as he suckles and lightly bites down at your tits and kisses up your sternum as you scramble for the last of your wits, unable to form any comprehensive sentence.

“Do something,” you beg, never beyond you to get immediate gratification.

“You’re cruel,” you whimper. “I know,” he chuckles and bites down on your lower lip teasingly.

“Nothing. I- I just feel very spoiled right now,”

A sharp inhale burns through your lungs, a sound unable to spill out of you as your legs stiffen.

He shuts the vibrator off, inserting his fingers to slip it off your hole, making you shudder while catching your breath. He presses a kiss against your inner knee before rubbing the spot.

“There you go,” Hyunjin kisses your cheek before comfortingly, “Want more or are you tired?”

“--Yes please,” you breathlessly answer, clenching down on nothing. “God, please Jinnie,”

You feel his cockhead press against your clit, making you whimper against his lips while the wet sensation of his tongue swipes through.

"Shit, shit. Baby, don't squeeze down," he hisses and presses down against your stomach a bit, a loud and startled mewl escaping you. "J-Jinnie," I stammer out.

"O-Oh fuck!"

Clenching around Hyunjin's length, you start toying with your nipples while the drips around your body continue to assault you with pleasure.

"Jinnie, oh fuck. So good," you moan, eyes closed as he deeply chuckles.

"You look so…wrecked, my muse. So gorgeous,"

You start grinding down against his dick, the pain of the wax making you want to move, scratch the itch in your aching pussy as he hisses and tries to stay still.

He chuckles, slightly dark and menacing as he gently grinds back. "Does it feel good, my pretty girl?"

"S-So good," you manage to stammer out in a growl. "Fuck me please. Jinnie, move, move please"

He gently caresses your cheek, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear and smiling down lovingly. "So polite," he mumbles before blowing the candle out, grabbing your hips and thrusting forward.

Heavy breathing fills the room, Hyunjin looking down at you and tracing the dried down wax splatters on your skin.

"My pretty pretty canvas,"

You smile at him dazedly and tiredly, "All for you," you reach out for his hand and kiss the back of it. I look up at him curiously, "Are you sure you're not a mind reader?"

He laughs, light and airy before pressing a kiss against your lips. "Are you sure that I'm not?" he cocks a brow up, "Darling your fantasies are mine to take anyways, mine to fulfill,"

You shiver at his words, breath quickening and pussy clenching down on him still. He hisses with a smile on his face, wincing, "Oh, looks like someone is still energetic,"

a/n: whew. 5k words for smut is surprising to me cause damn i got carried away if anything.

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byullielle · 8 months

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before asking authors for part two of their fics or asking to be on their tag lists or whatever, consider reblogging some of their work first. you’re asking someone to take time to write free content for you and to notify you about it when you don’t make any moves to circulate the fic, and that’s really unfair!

this app is not like twitter or tiktok (where i am assuming new users are coming from) and likes do nothing to circulate fics. reblogs are the only thing that will do that, so if you like someone’s writing enough to ask for more please take a few seconds to reblog and maybe add some comments or feedback!

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byullielle · 8 months

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the hyunjin fic for october is bleeding into 4k words. FOR SMUT. my god this is a personal record. anyways, it'll be out by tomorrow-ish (maybe even today if my period decides to have mercy on me) :D

#elle☆hyunjin

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byullielle · 8 months

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THAT ENDING??? DENI YOU'RE STRESSING ME OUT (im kidding) 😫😫😫😫😫 JDKSJFOSJFKSJF this was so charged and heated and so good, every chapter just keeps getting better and i LIVEE for it sm. this definitely made by day, everyone say thank you deni 🎤

It's a bad idea, right? (03)

*ೃ༄ pairing: han jisung x fem!reader.

*ೃ༄ word count: 10k.

*ೃ༄ warnings: cursing, suggestive themes (these two are very horny for each other), jealousy, sexual tension, mentions of drinking and smoking, marking? (mentioned very briefly), they're partying in this chapter and its pretty wild.

♡. part 01 .♡ , ♡. part 02 .♡

♡. a/n: a long awaited scene happens in this chapter :) enjoy!! please let me know your thoughts about this part, i love reading them all <3

Walking down memory lane, you don’t think you’ve ever been in love. Sure, you love your friends and family but the concept of romantic love is a completely foreign one. Being loved by another, body and soul, with all of your flaws and insecurities has always been something you longed for, just like everybody else.

None of your relationships made you feel like that. Truly accepted and loved so ultimately, you started seeing dating as a waste of time.

At some point, you thought that ‘love’ had finally blessed you with its presence, taking pity on you. Back in high school, when you were barely a teen was the first time the butterflies everyone talks about appeared in your life. They came and went but their wings always flapped wildly around one person only.

Your best friend, Felix.

The thought of being in love with your partner in crime, with Felix who was always so kind and smiled so brightly had your heart doing summersaults every time he as much as glanced in your particular direction. It was exciting but more importantly, a dream come true for a hopeless romantic such as yourself. Felix was the perfect person to name as your ‘first love’.

That’s why, to you, it was a match made in heaven. Who wouldn’t want to grow and flourish alongside their best friend, giving them your first everything and letting love develop naturally over time, strengthening your bond?

But then, as time passed and he chose someone else as his first love, all of your dreams shattered. It wasn’t his fault either, even though that’s what you tried to make yourself believe just to feel better as you cried. You just took too long – too long to realize what you were feeling, too long to make a move and let him know of your feelings. So, ultimately, someone else got there first.

Slow and steady usually wins the race but in this case, it was the opposite. Not only did you lose the race, but you also lost your chance at love.

Then even more time passed, and both of you got with several different people – never the other. You went on dates, kissed a bunch of people and before you knew it, those feelings you held for your best friend just faded away. At first, you thought it would be more tragic than it was, more painful as your love story went untold. But it wasn’t. It went away with the wind, quickly and without much fuss, just like a stray leaf.

That’s when you realized that maybe, just maybe, what you felt for the boy that could brighten up your every gloomy day wasn’t love. Not romantic, at least.

A crush, sure. But nothing as grand as a first love, the dormant butterflies and calm heart could attest to that.

And that epiphany hit you when Han Jisung first kissed you. The feelings the sweet and soft gesture awakened in you were all new, nothing you’ve ever felt before. Not with Felix or with anyone else after. It was like fireworks went off in your heart, exploding in a beautiful display of colours and intense emotions.

Back then, Jisung most likely kissed you out of pity but for you, it meant the world because that was the first time you felt something different. Something nobody has ever made you feel, a feeling you haven’t forgotten until now, as an adult.

It might sound silly to most (especially to your brother) so you kept it to yourself, the kiss being yours and Jisung’s little secret. A secret you thought he’d forgotten about until he boldly brought it up at the arcade, showing you exactly how affected he still was by it. Your heart almost jumped out of your chest then and there, elated by the fact that he still remembered a moment so special to you.

So that’s why, in the hopes of getting the answers you sought for so long, you have to keep pursuing this connection with him. No matter if Minho gets mad, Felix gets upset and stops talking to you or your parents disapprove. You have to find out if the feelings that overwhelm you every time he’s around are love or not.

If you’re in love with him or are just chasing an unobtainable fantasy.

Every time you think about him, there’s this little thought you’ve tried to silence for years lingering at the back of your mind. Has Jisung ever been in love? Has he ever gotten tongue tied in front of someone, palms sweating while his heart pounds in his chest? If so, did he nurture that love or leave it to whither for unknown reasons? Did he write songs upon songs about it? Daydreaming the hours away while he waited to be reunited with that love?

Those questions were eating away at your sanity, especially since you would never get any answers.

Jisung was lucky, for getting the opportunity to love someone with his whole being. But luckier was the person that got to be loved by him, in your eyes at least.

Because you might never get that opportunity.

・❥・・❥・・❥・

“Okay, so which one?”

You ask Jeongin, holding up two different dresses for him to choose from. Looking up from his phone, he inspects each one with great serosity before pointing to the one he likes more.

“The red one really brings out your eyes so let’s go with that.”

You smile, satisfied with his choice before throwing the other dress on the floor carelessly and walking into the connected bathroom to change. Leaving the door slightly ajar, Jeongin can talk comfortably from his seat at the end of your bed.

“I have to ask,” He begins, letting himself fall back on the bed with a contented sigh, “how come I’m the only one here?”

“What do you mean?”

The little red dress is easy to slip into so you’re glad that’s what Jeongin chose, happy it isn’t too uncomfortable or impractical. You’ll need all of your wits for tonight with everything that can happen at a party as crazy as this one, knowing Changbin will totally go overboard with the preparations.

“Where’s Felix? He always comes to help you get ready before any party.”

You stop in your tracks, finally realizing Felix’s absence. It wasn’t that deep; he just chose to go to the party with Hyunjin since they lived together but a part of you thought there was more to the matter at hand.

Shaking your head, you finally emerge from the bathroom while struggling with a pair of earrings. “With Hyunjin. They’re going together.”

By the look on his face, Jeongin shares your opinion on the whole thing, finding it strange. “You know, maybe the world is in fact ending.”

You can’t help but roll your eyes, moving on to secure the other earring. “Whatever. He’s been acting weird lately so him ditching me was expected.”

“Weird how?” He pushes himself up onto his elbows, scanning your outfit.

“Distant.”

That takes him by surprise, brows furrowing in confusion. “Why would Felix distance himself from you? He’s the clingiest person I know!”

You shrug, trying to mask how much the situation actually bothers you. “I don’t know, Jeongin. Maybe he just needs some boy time. Or maybe he’s finally grown tired of me. Who knows?”

Jeongin shakes his head as you walk back into the bathroom to put the finishing touches to your makeup, disagreeing completely.

“We’ve been connected at the hip for years, I knew it had to come to an end at some point.”

“Nonsense.” There’s some shuffling as he presumably stands up. “Felix loves you. There’s no way he wants to change your dynamic.”

Except that’s exactly what he’s been doing for the past few days. You know when your presence isn’t wanted so you’ve also kept your distance, letting him come to you when ready. Even so, there was no denying the emptiness his absence left behind.

But you don’t let Jeongin know that. There’s no point in ruining his mood as well.

Stepping out of the bathroom like nothing happened, you see him now standing in front of your mirror, fixing his hair. You clear your throat and his eyes shoot up, getting his full attention.

“So, how do I look?” You twirl, hands moving down to smooth the invisible creases of the red, sleeveless dress.

A big smile stretches across his face, dimples and all as he nods. “Beautiful.”

Your whole demeanor softens and you cross the room to pull him into a quick hug. “Thanks for getting ready with me, Innie.”

“You’re welcome.” His arms come around your middle and he squeezes once before letting go. You can’t help but think about how different this feels in comparison to Felix’s warm and drawn-out hugs, where he’d giggle while lifting your feet off the ground. “Besides, I couldn’t let you dress yourself and embarrass us, now, could I?”

And the moment is broken. With a huff and the slightest smile, you slap his shoulder and pull away, moving to throw a pillow at his head when he starts laughing. It falls to the ground and he wastes no time in picking it up and throwing it back at you, messing your freshly done hair. That’s when you start chasing him around the room, laughter bouncing off the walls even when you finally catch him and mess his hair in return, ruffling it good.

“Now that we’re party ready,” Jeongin teases as the atmosphere calms down and you both move to sit somewhere in the room and catch your breaths. This time, he chooses your desk chair and you’re the one sitting on the bed, putting on your shoes. “What’s your plan? I need to be filled in if I’m going to help you.”

You raise an eyebrow. “What do we need a plan for? We’re going out to have fun.”

He shakes his head, rolling his eyes in the process. “I’m talking about Jisung. I know you want Minho to catch you two sucking each other’s faces off but what happens after?”

Confusion makes itself clear on your features. “What do you mean?”

“When your little masterplan is done and over with, are you going to confess to him?”

And that’s when a bunch of emotions hit you at the same time, overwhelming all of your senses. Confess…to Jisung? This is something you’ve thought about often, fantasizing and daydreaming to your heart’s content. But this wasn’t a fantasy, it was real life where Jisung’s emotions weren’t marching to the beat of your own drum. The possibility of confessing to him for real has never crossed your mind since Minho basically forbade you to. Could you even do it? Would he even care to hear you out?

Nothing was holding you back now, no weight on your shoulders to keep you bound in the same place, screaming into the void. You were free to do whatever your heart desired.

You always were, but your morals tended to dictate your every move like you were some sort of puppet on a string.

“Y/n?”

His voice helps you snap out of it, and your eyes move to meet his, shoes all forgotten. “Should I?”

He visibly grimaces.

“Well – “

“Wait, what?” You blurt out, surprised. “Why did you make that face? You’ve always encouraged me about my stupid little crush!”

Jeongin isn’t fazed by your outburst but the look on his face shows he at least feels bad about causing it. Shaking his head, he pulls at the ends of his platinum blonde hair with a sigh, looking down.

“I mean, Jisung isn’t really prince charming.”

You really can’t believe your ears right now. “What the fuck are you saying, Jeongin?”

Then, he raises his head and looks at you with such seriousness that almost makes his boyish face unrecognizable. “That he wasn’t named ‘the most passed around man of the year’ for being a fucking gentleman, Y/n.”

Your mouth drops open at his words, jaw on the floor as you try to process whatever the fuck intrusive thought he let to the surface. Jisung was named what exactly?!

Not being able to find any appropriate answer, the only thing you can let out through your disbelief is a simple “Huh?!”

“He stole that title right from under Changbin’s nose.” Jeongin shakes his head, like he can’t believe Jisung’s audacity. “Now not only is he a manwhore, he’s a thief too. Changbin worked hard for that title, Y/n! It was his!”

There’s a moment of silence as your gazes find each other again, blinking like you just learnt to communicate without even speaking from Dori himself before you’re both bursting out into loud laughter. The tension dissipates and you’re back on the same page.

“There’s no way people call him that.” You managed to let out after calming down, already in higher spirits than before.

With the same look on his face, Jeongin shrugs, still grinning. “The fans sure do.”

There’s a pause as you wait for him to elaborate but he doesn’t, choosing to stand up and stretch after you’re both fully calm. Deciding to follow his lead, you quickly put your shoes on and grab your purse, putting the interrogation and your curiosity in the back seat for now.

After a quick inspection of your outfits, checking everything is in place, you’re both ready to leave but before you can get to it, your bedroom door opens and a dark head of hair pops in.

“Uh, hi.” Your brother says awkwardly, the door concealing most of his uncertainty as he pointedly ignores the glare you send his way. “The uber I ordered is here. Do you guys want to come with me since we’re going to the same place?”

You don’t respond, looking away from him defiantly but Jeongin has other plans as he grabs your wrist and begins pulling you along.

“Of course! Lead the way, Minho!”

Your protests fall on deaf ears because minutes later, you’re already in the backseat of the uber, right between Minho and Jeongin who seem to have become best friends overnight since they talk away the whole ride to Changbin’s place. Jeongin just lost his place as your favourite friend, freefalling to the bottom of the list right next to Felix. Seungmin was now your one and only. He would never treat you like this. Maybe…

The ten-minute ride passes in a blink of an eye and suddenly, you’re out of the car and shivering on your way to the front door, the mansion looking as huge as ever even in the distance. The music could be heard from down the street, where the uber left the three of you and the colourful laser lights coming from the backyard made the whole scene resemble an actual concert. From an outsider's perspective, it could look very intimidating but you knew that once inside, the atmosphere would be another. Changbin is nothing if not a great host, making sure everyone feels great in his house.

Despite the size of it all, his parties were an exclusive event – only people personally invited by him could get in. His reputation was on the line after all, he didn’t need strangers all up in his business to spill everything that was going on in his sanctuary on the internet.

3racha were known for loving to party but the public didn’t need to be aware of what was actually going on behind closed doors. Nothing illegal, of course. Just three men making a lot of wild and unwise decisions they usually forgot about by the time morning came.

Halfway up the hill towards the house, a comfortable weight falls on your shoulders and without noticing, you’re not shivering anymore. The culprit is obvious and once you turn to him, one corner of your brother’s mouth is turned upwards but he doesn’t meet your gaze. Even so, the gesture is so characteristically him, and so nice, that you can’t help but nudge his shoulder lovingly to which he responds in kind.

Moments later, you’re greeted at the front door by two big bodyguards who would have been intimidating if it weren’t for the sunglasses they chose to wear at night.

“Name?” One of them asks, holding a clipboard that looked pocket sized in his hands.

As expected, your brother steps forward, shielding both you and Jeongin. “Minho, Y/n and Jeongin.”

You see recognition draw on the man’s face and in the most unexpected turn of events, he smiles down at Minho with familiarity, not even bothering to check the guest list anymore.

“Hi, Min.” His whole demeanour changes, voice soft and inviting causing you and Jeongin to share a perplexed look. This is the second time you attend a Seo Changbin party. How many has your brother been to for such a greeting? “Go right in, Jisung was looking for you.”

He nods and returns the smile as the man steps to the side, allowing the three of you to pass without another word. The big hallway is brightly lit with no partygoer in sight, booming music muffled by the closed doors on each side but still loud enough to feel a headache coming in. Right by the big stairs in the middle, is a man carrying a tray of champagne that approaches instantly.

“Can I offer you a drink?”

The slight shock can be read on both your and Jeongin’s faces but Minho isn’t fazed, used to it like he’s the one actually living here. He shakes his head no, so the man’s gaze moves to you and Jeongin, waiting patiently. Sharing another look, you hesitate for a brief moment before indulging in a glass of champagne from the tray.

After that, he moves back to his place by the stairs.

“Let’s go.” Minho nods in your direction and you follow, not wanting to get separated yet. Now, if Felix was with you, there would be no worry plaguing your mind about getting lost since he would be holding your hand the whole time. But now, he was already inside, having the time of his life without you.

The thought makes your mood drop again, so you take another big gulp of the bubbly drink.

Once the door opens, numerous things hit you all at once. It’s like stepping into a completely new world filled with music, flashing lights and hundreds of people doing whatever their heart desires. Some were on the dance floor, some at the bar (which you had no idea Changbin even had in his house), some making out with their sweethearts in corners of the room while others were playing video games in the far back. It was a mess, like a big bowl of soup with all sorts of people serving as the vegetables while the broth that kept them together was 3racha.

Weird analogy but it’s true – all of these people would never come together if it weren’t for their shared love for Chan, Changbin and Jisung.

You were one of these people. But you loved a member a bit (a lot) more than the others.

It doesn’t take long for Minho to go on his merry way, leaving you and Jeongin alone without even a spare glance in your direction. The two of you are left wandering around until Jeongin spots someone familiar and drags you along to them, visibly happier at the sight.

And you get why instantly when the people that come into view are none other than Seungmin and Felix, sitting on a couch by themselves. Your other friends must have abandoned them as well.

“Finally,” Seungmin rolls his eyes, not really annoyed but still keeping up his usual front, “I texted you both an hour ago. What took you so long?”

Both you and Jeongin pull your phones out at the same time to see ten new messages in the groupchat the four of you shared. Messages neither of you read.

“Traffic.” You shrug, taking a seat next to Felix who immediately smiles and pulls your body into a warm embrace, so uncharacteristic of the way he’s been acting lately. Next to Seungmin, Jeongin mouths an annoying ‘I told you so’ that the others don’t notice, which you pointedly ignore. He makes a face in return but your attention is already stolen by Felix again.

Pulling away, you can smell the alcohol in his breath. It’s faint, mixed with the one of mint but it helps you understand his behavior. “You look beautiful tonight.”

His voice is deeper than usual, but loud enough to be heard over the deafening music. You thank him and he nods happily, taking your now empty glass of champagne and putting it on the table in front among many others. That’s when your eyes start wandering around the room and you notice that Hyunjin, the one Felix ditched you for, is nowhere to be seen.

His arm is still wrapped around your shoulders when you lean closer to bring it up. “Where’s Hyunjin? Didn’t you come together?”

A brief pause, before his head whips around in search of the boy like he just notices his absence. “I think he stepped out for a bit with his girlfriend.”

You nod, choosing to believe him before getting straight to the point, not wanting to prolong it further. “Are you mad at me?”

The moment the question escapes your lips, you see his whole face change and something like panic overtakes him. Without a word, he pulls away and takes both of your hands in his, squeezing tightly.

“What?” his voice is louder now, getting Seungmin and Jeongin’s attention as well. “What are you even talking about? Why would I be mad at you?”

Your overthinking nature causes countless reasons to float around in your mind like your brain and sanity were free real estate by this point. They weren’t logical reasons – as stupid as they come, but after the past week, you started to genuinely consider them as actual possibilities. Maybe the bond you and Felix developed wasn’t the healthiest since you needed to be in each other’s presence at all times to feel complete, to feel alright. Maybe he finally came to this realization and pulled back for both of your sakes, trying to singlehandedly fix your co-dependent selves.

Or maybe, this whole thing had nothing to do with you to begin with.

Still, the sudden change in behaviour really affected you more than you would’ve liked.

“I don’t know. You’re the one that started ignoring me.”

He shakes his head, suddenly much sober than before and now drawing patterns on the back of your hand. “I didn’t ignore you at all, Y/n.”

“Yes, you did.” The stubbornness in your tone gets a faint smile from him, one you don’t notice. “You’ve been distant.”

Felix lets out a sigh, releasing one of your hands to instead reach out and fix your hair. “So, you’ve noticed.”

“Of course, I did!” Now you’re the one whose emotions are running high while he remains calm, listening to you as the roles get reversed. “Are you going to tell me what is up with that or not? What did I do?”

“It’s not your fault, Y/n.” He responds instantly, hoping to put your worries at rest. By now, both Jeongin and Seungmin are well invested in your conversation but have the decency to at least pretend they’re not eavesdropping. “This is all on me.”

You look him straight in the eyes, silently urging him to elaborate. Letting go of you altogether, Felix scoots back, putting some distance between you so he can get comfortable enough to start explaining. A loud party where everyone is drunk and having the time of their lives isn’t the most suitable environment for such a conversation but, you couldn’t keep this in anymore. You needed to talk to Felix before your whole world came crashing down.

A bit dramatic but still holding a gram of truth. You came here for Jisung tonight, but fixing things with your best friend still took priority.

“Jisung talked to me, weeks ago after their performance that night.” He speaks clearly, playing with the ring on his middle finger. “He reminded me of a time when I hurt you and remembering that made me feel like a horrible person all over again.”

You open your mouth to interfere but he cuts you off, shaking his head while his eyes start getting glossy. Seems like the alcohol in his system was heightening his emotions.

“So, yeah. I started distancing myself because I didn’t want to be the reason for your tears ever again.”

That’s when it hits you. There’s only one instance Felix could be talking about so full of emotion, so frail and on the verge of tears.

Without a word, you scoot over and bring his body into a hug, which prompts the boy to let out a startled sob. Your arms tighten around him, and his come to circle your waist as he returns the embrace with all of the love his body carries around daily. All of the love he accumulated over the years for you which is stored in a special place, near and dear to his heart.

The music is loud, annoyingly so, but you still manage to make yourselves understood over it.

“Listen, Lix,” He hums to show you he is in fact listening, still keeping his face hidden in your chest while your hands caress his back tenderly. “We were kids. What happened back then was completely my fault since I never mustered enough courage to tell you about my feelings.”

He mumbles something inaudible before looking up, eyes still glossy with unshed tears and nose slightly pink. “Doesn’t matter. I should have known.”

That gets a laugh out of you and he pouts, not understanding where your amusement came from. “About the crush I wasn’t even 100% aware of? No way you could have.”

Still pouting, he wipes his eyes, smudging some of the pretty makeup he put on for tonight. Without being able to stop yourself, you reach out and pinch one of his cheeks.

“You’re so silly, Lix. Making me lose my mind over something that happened half a decade ago that we’re both over.”

Finally, he laughs, happy and genuine with sparkling eyes. “I’m still sorry, though. I never meant to hurt you.” His smile drops halfway through the sentence, getting stuck in his head again.

What does a person with a tendency to overthink need? A chronic overthinker and sensitive best friend, of course. Two peas in a pod, you and Felix.

“I know.” You nod. “You would never hurt me on purpose, Lix.”

Life seems to come back to his eyes, face regaining its colour as he pulls you into another hug and apologizes again. You don’t mean to get deeper into it, satisfied with how things turned out but he goes on a full explanation about what actually happened back then. He rambles about his first girlfriend again, how he was so excited to finally experience what love meant that he completely shut everyone out to fully focus on her. These are all things you remember that now don’t hurt anymore so you listen, a smile full of fondness adorning your face.

He also tells you how back then, Jisung was the one who made him realize that what he was doing wasn’t okay. But of course, since they were two hormonal teenagers, neither could get their point across nicely so that’s how the fighting started.

This new information startles you. Why did Jisung feel the need to get on Felix’s case about his behaviour towards you? Not once, but twice, almost ten years apart? What is going on in Han Jisung’s head has never been more of a mystery than right now.

And speaking of, as you’re mulling over the matter, you look up and your eyes lock with his beautiful brown ones that seem to call your name wordlessly, making your heart rate speed up alarmingly.

There he was, the man you’ve been wanting to see for days, looking through you like always. It’s scary how even in a room as crowded as this, it still feels like you’re the only two people there when he looks at you. Everyone just disappears and your heart takes over, putting on the rose-coloured glasses that only allow you to see him. And somehow, he seems to be aware of this because he winks and turns around before the smirk on his face can stretch into an actual smile, a silent invitation to join him.

Noticing, Felix stops talking yet his smile still remains. “Go.”

“What?”

Jisung is walking away now while tens of people surround him, trying to get his attention somehow. A usual occurrence only this time, your eyes never leave him, following his every move.

“Go after him.” He laughs, the sound clear and genuine. “We’ll talk later.”

Your gaze finally moves to your best friend who’s all smile and sunshine, the sight making you lean over to give him another hug. “Okay, I’m going. Wish me luck.”

But before he can, Jeongin butts in and exposes his eavesdropping self. “Go get him already! I picked out your outfit for Han Jisung to enjoy so stop wasting your time on Felix!”

Seungmin laughs and you feel your face get warmer, looking down bashfully as Felix’s smile drops and he stands up to give the younger a piece of his mind. All in good fun, of course.

“Also get rid of that stupid jacket!”

The last thing you see when you walk away is Felix messing Jeongin’s hair and treating his face like cookie dough, bickering playfully while Seungmin gives you a thumbs up in encouragement. Oh, yeah, he was definitely your favourite.

Despite your worries, it doesn’t take you long to find Jisung in the sea of people, almost like you were guided by a helping string through all the craziness around. 3racha are sitting together, in a corner of the room that stands out like a sore thumb, surrounded by partygoers as expected. With each on different couches, with their own friends, is even easier to walk right up to the man you dream about constantly. He’s sitting in the middle, with Chan and Changbin on either side of him at their respective LED-lighted coffee tables that are overflowing with drinks and food catered to their liking. Every time you’re hit with such a sight, you remember that these people you have the pleasure of calling your friends are living in a completely different world, very much detached from your boring one.

You and Jisung are part of different worlds. Is that why your brother was so adamant you stay away?

Speaking of your brother, he isn’t among the people who are currently talking Jisung’s ear off. They’re always attached to the hip, where could have he gone off to?

“Are you going to say hi or are you planning on standing there all night, sweetheart?”

You snap out of it to find Jisung and the four people next to him all staring at you, some curious, others annoyed, while the man of the hour is smirking, amused. When your eyes meet, he beckons you over with a single finger, eyes lighting up the dark room once you’re close enough.

Taking another sip of his drink, Jisung sits up straighter. “Guys, this is Y/n.”

They all greet you politely, not wanting to upset him in any way. These weren’t adoring fans but that didn’t mean they didn’t want to remain in his good graces.

“Well, Y/n,” one of them, a girl sitting on his right, is the first to talk. “There aren’t any seats left so…”

Her tone isn’t polite nor friendly, and the glare hidden behind her fake smile rubs you the wrong way. So wrong that without a warning, you move and take a seat right in Jisung’s lap, turning your back to her as your attention is once again captivated by his beautiful face.

“Don’t worry about me.” You purr, voice as sweet as liquorice when Jisung’s wide eyes meet yours. “It looks like Jisung saved the best seat for me, after all.”

You hear her scoff and begin complaining to the guy next to her, but you’re too busy getting lost in his mesmerizing gaze to care, eyes darkening with every breath he takes. Jisung’s arms find your waist instantly, helping you find a more comfortable position like you being on top of him is the most natural thing in the world. As you’re sitting on one of his thighs, the other moves to cage your legs between his and press against you in the sexiest way.

Looking up at you, the glitter under his eyes is the only thing shimmering and bringing light to his contemplative expression, devoid of the usual smirk. Seems like you knocked the cockiness out of him.

Good.

“How is that for a hello?”

Honestly, speaking, you have no idea what possessed you to behave in such a way but the sudden burst of confidence was certainly welcomed. Getting to have the upper hand and make him nervous for once was a win in your book, and a needed break for your poor heart.

Still looking a little dazed, it takes Jisung a moment to react before he snorts and lets his head fall back on the couch. “Ten out of ten.”

You giggle, moving closer to trace his jaw with one of your fingers. The music was quieter here, so having a conversation was easier.

“You’re cute when you’re flustered.”

Jisung shakes his head, closing his eyes for a brief moment and that’s when you notice the tips of his ears turning red, making your giggles louder. “Are you doing all of this because Minho can catch us at any time or?”

“Or?” you urge him to continue, still somehow managing to keep your cool.

“You tell me.” His gaze moves to yours, no traces of amusement or shyness left and the intensity has your confidence shaking a bit.

His whole body relaxes under you, and that’s when you take the opportunity to finally take him in, avoiding his question at the same time. He is wearing a black leather jacket with a black shirt underneath, neck adorned by three silver necklaces you can’t seem to look away from, completed by a pair of black, ripped jeans. His fluffy hair is out of his face, showing his forehead and a part of the dark undercut you loved so much.

As always, Han Jisung looked perfect and butterflies inducing.

A smirk suddenly makes its way on your lips as you begin toying with one of the necklaces, distracted. “Or.”

His brows furrow for a moment, eyes glued on your face before he bursts out laughing, throwing his head back once again and exposing his clean neck. He would look good with a hickey or two. From you, of course.

“God, sweetheart. You’re going to be the death of me.”

The words make you pout, exaggerating for effect and his amusement. “Noo, you’re too sexy to die.”

Jisung lets out a sound that’s a half groan, half laugh, rolling his head away from you at the cringy line, having had enough. You only laugh harder, missing the way his arms tighten around you and bring your body a bit closer.

The party is just a blur around you and him, something outside your little bubble that neither pays attention to, too high on each other to care. Even the friends around him have faded into mere shadows, not important anymore.

“I missed having my own words being spoken back to me. It’s a really humbling experience.”

There’s a sparkle in his eyes as you snort and he chuckles, reaching out to play with a piece of your hair.

“Well, you should have called. Humbling you is my favourite pastime, after all.” You say simply, smiling at him while still playing with his necklaces. “I like this one.” It takes him a moment to realize the change in subject but once he does, his eyes move to the jewellery around your fingers.

He raises an eyebrow. “You do?”

“Sure. It’s pretty.”

Then, his warmth around you disappears as he reaches out to take off the thin, silver chain, placing it in your hands like it didn’t cost him thousands of dollars. Like it isn’t his favourite out of the bunch, the one he never takes off.

“Here, it’s yours.”

Your eyes widen as you look between him and the jewellery in your hands, completely taken aback. “What?”

The corners of his mouth turn upwards in a rare, genuine smile you usually don’t get to see on him while he closes your hand around it. His bigger hand envelops yours and has warmth spreading all over your body, kicking your previous confidence aside to let the butterflies start going wild.

“Do you need help putting it on?” He brushes past your question and confusion.

You still can’t wrap your head around his gesture, searching his gaze for any sort of hesitation. You find none, and that baffles you even more. “Are you serious?”

This time, he actually laughs. “Yes, I am, sweetheart. Now, will you let me help you?”

“Jisung, I can’t – “

“Nonsense.” He shakes his head, gently prying the necklace from your now clammy hand. “Come on, turn around for me, baby.”

You hesitate for several moments, looking at him to make sure he’s completely serious about what he’s saying and not messing with you in any way. Like before, he just smiles and moves your hair on one shoulder as his way of gently coaxing you to give in.

With a shuddering breath, you do, turning your back to him while pretending that the mere thought of his hands on you isn’t making your heart pound loudly in your chest. Like you aren’t going insane with want, needing him to touch you constantly for the fire in you to be kept at bay.

His hands are soft and gentle as he clasps the necklace around your neck, lingering on your nape while his hot breath causes goosebumps to rise all over your skin. When the chain is secured in place, Jisung doesn’t pull away as expected but leans forward to kiss the back of your neck tenderly which has your breath hitching in your throat in surprise.

The feeling of his lips burns on your skin as he places two more along your nape before fixing your hair and wrapping his toned arms around your waist again, hugging you to his chest.

“Beautiful.” He whispers, pecking your cheek as your own hands move to settle over his, desperately searching for something to hold on and keep sane. The position you’re now in is more intimate than before, being able to feel all of him against your back, under you and around you. It was intoxicating, his presence, making you feel dizzy and lightheaded in a way nobody has managed to before.

Does he feel it too? This electrifying feeling and the sparks that ignite between you? He has to, there was no way.

“It’s going to look so hot dangling between our bodies when you’re on top of me, don’t you think, baby?”

That’s the last straw, the thing that finally causes your heart to stop, brain turning into mush right in Han Jisung’s hands. Mustering all of your remaining strength, you turn to face him but he doesn’t budge so your nose bumps into his in the process, faces inches apart.

“When?” You let out with difficulty, breathless and barely able to meet his eyes.

“When.” He confirms, reaching out to touch the silver pendant and graze your chest, the brief touch almost making you jump out of your skin. Jisung knows exactly what he’s doing, the mischievous glint in his big, brown eyes telling you so. “Because I’m going to make it happen.”

If you needed any more confirmation that Jisung was as into you as you were into him, there you have it. Insane, the whole thing was insane and felt unreal. But the chemistry between you was definitely there and not a fragment of your imagination, especially when he leans down to plant quick pecks on the exposed skin of your neck, stopping briefly to suck but not enough to leave a mark.

Your eyes flutter shut as you cling onto him, wrapping your arms around his neck and leaning your head back to give him more space. But you can’t help but wonder if this was the alcohol talking. He looked as sober as one can be at a party, but the drinks in front of him were evidence enough of his intoxication.

He was always good at holding his liquor but that didn’t mean his thought process wasn’t a little fuzzy. Would he have done all of those things he did tonight, sober? Would he even touch you if alcohol wasn’t involved?

These doubts and insecurities cause your head to spin for a completely different reason, already pulling your body under and making you want to hide in a hole. So, when you let out a sigh that indicates how far your thoughts have run off too, no pleasure in sight, Jisung pulls away.

“What’s wrong?” He asks, voice soft with a hint of worry as he searches your gaze for any hint of discomfort he might have caused. If he wasn’t making you feel good, he had no problem stopping.

You shake your head, not looking at him. Not letting him catch even a glimpse of the storm that was currently taking place inside your mind. “Nothing.”

That’s not what he wants to hear, nor does he appreciate being lied to, face dropping. “Y/n – “

“Jisung!” The moment is broken as you both turn around at the new voice, the loud call of his name getting his friends’ attention too. Chan and Changbin are standing there, one more drunk than the other and very, very happy, with a small crowd behind them. “Come on, it’s game time!”

His face lights up at the words, briefly distracted by the activity he seems to enjoy. But the excitement doesn’t linger as he looks back at you, still out of it.

Nodding, one of his hands moves to pet the top of your head gently, soothing your racing mind like he knew exactly what was going on. Jisung could be so attentive when he wanted to; caring for the people around him and always putting their comfort first. A quality of his you thought got lost on the way to stardom.

“Go on, we’ll be right behind you.”

So, they do, the friends around you standing up and following Chan and Changbin in a heartbeat, chanting happily to where the game was going to take place while feeding on each other’s happiness.

Confused, you finally look at him. “Aren’t you going to join them?”

He smiles and everything slows down, your thoughts getting quiet as his lips connect with your forehead softly. “Let’s go together? I promise Changbin can make any game fun.”

How can you say no when he looks at you like you carry the stars in your eyes, like you’re the only one he can see?

Standing up, you offer him your hand and he grasps it gently, taking a moment before starting to drag you after his friends excitedly, resembling a hyperactive puppy let out of his leash.

Game time, in Changbin’s words, turns out to be a simple game of beer pong, one that proves to be more fun than you initially thought. Though, as expected, the loser and the winner get treated as such. The winning team gets the whole hot tub to themselves for a whole hour while the losers are left catering to their every need, granting all of their selfish wishes.

A big crowd gathers around the table to see 3racha play, hyped about joining and getting the prize. It’s crazy and loud and there are too many teams trying out their luck to the point where you almost give up on getting your turn, until Felix, Seungmin, Jeongin and Hyunjin join, all in high spirits. Their excitement rubs off on you and before you know it, you’re all having fun together without any care in the world.

Changbin’s simple game becomes the main attraction of the night when at some point, some guy lays on the table and instead of drinking from the red plastic cups, the loser has to do a shot of tequila off of his exposed chest. It’s wild but you swear you’ve never laughed harder in your life and that’s why, you don’t even mind when you and Seungmin don’t make it to the ‘finals’.

Your moment of glory might’ve been short lived until Chan beat you but at least, you and Seungmin managed to beat both Jeongin and Hyunjin and the unexpected opponents that appeared along the way when Felix and Jisung teamed up. They were a force to be reckoned with, almost ruining your winning streak but, you lived to see another day when Jisung got a little too cocky and lost the ball by throwing it too far. As expected, everyone lost their marbles and disqualified them both causing Felix to see red and jump him in a second. Only this time, their bickering wasn’t full of venom and malice but playfulness.

He still put him in a headlock, because of course, Felix did – violence was always the answer in his head when it came to Jisung. Your best friend was insane.

Anyways, as expected, the game went on for a good while before Chan and his teammate won against Changbin and some other guy, crowning him the loser in his own house which made Jisung laugh for ten minutes straight. Unfortunately for him, one of Chan’s wishes was for Bin to dress up as a maid and Jisung along with everyone else, filmed the whole thing.

A great memory for the grandkids, surely. They’re all going to fall over laughing just like Jisung did, not being able to stand on their own two feet while watching the video of their grandpa parading around in a skimpy, too-tight dress he had lying around.

For some strange reason, your brother was still nowhere to be seen, missing out on the whole game and the craziness that followed. Jisung said he was a pro at beer pong, so his absence was a bit concerning. Whatever Minho is doing, you just hope he’s having fun and being careful.

Who knows, maybe he’s having the time of his life with the fire dancers outside. That seems more like his scene anyway, though you’re sure he was going to regret not seeing Changbin sing Celine Dion with an apron on.

After all that, most of the crowd dissipates and you’re finally left alone with Jisung, the others being too busy drinking, napping on the floor or singing karaoke to pay any attention to whatever you two are doing. You knew Lix and the others certainly were as they were currently trying to sneak past Chan into the enormous hot tub.

By now, you’ve also had more drinks and the alcohol was buzzing in your veins in a very pleasant way, making you giddier and more confident than ever before. Happy, you were happy, and Jisung was beaming from ear to ear at the sight, elated that whatever thoughts were plaguing your beautiful mind were finally put to rest.

“You used to wear more rings.” Is the first thing you blurt out as he cages you between the ping pong table and his sturdy body, one arm around your middle while the other holds a suspicious looking blunt, resting on the wooden surface. That’s all you’ve been thinking about since the game as your eyes inspected every vein, dent and muscle in his very attractive arms. Arms you love to feel around you, holding your body close and secure.

“Oh, yeah,” He nods, taking a drag of the cig and blowing the smoke over your shoulder. “I stopped wearing them a while ago.”

You frown, boldly grabbing his hand to inspect the lone ring on his thumb. “Why?”

Jisung shrugs, not noticing the disappointment on your face. “They get in the way.”

“Of what?” Now you’re even more confused.

The only answer he gives you is a cocky smirk, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively as he licks his lips in the hottest way only he can and your whole face feels like it’s on fire once you realize what he means. Pervert, that’s what he was. To be fair, you did this to yourself by asking but what the fuck kind of reason was that? It wasn’t even a good one since, in your opinion, rings made the whole experience so much more pleasurable. Something about the cold metal moving around inside you always tipped you over the edge embarrassingly quickly.

Without even thinking about it, since all of your common sense seems to fly out the window when Jisung is around, you take off one of your own rings and slide it on his ring finger. Miraculously, it fits perfectly.

“Here.” You let go as he brings the blunt back to his lips, only then looking at the new jewel adorning his beautiful hand. “This will keep all these other girls away. Now they have nothing to get in the way of.”

Usually, you pride yourself in being smart, the smartest in your family. But as Jisung admires the piece quietly, a faint smile on his lips, you start feeling like the biggest moron. Making him wear it on his ring finger? What were you thinking? How much was the alcohol affecting you to pull such a stunt, making it look like you were proposing?

There was jealousy and then there was stupidity and you were currently being both. Stupidly jealous.

To your surprise, his eyes sparkle with something more than amusement. What is he enjoying more? Your sudden possessiveness or your drunken antics?

“Since when have you become so bold, sweetheart?” He asks quietly, pinning you against the furniture and getting right in your face. “Not that I’m complaining.”

A verbal response doesn’t want to leave your lips, so you shrug, too embarrassed and overwhelmed by him, looking down to play with his necklace around your neck. You were both wearing each other’s jewellery now, in a clear show of…something? Affection? Possessiveness? What was it?

You weren’t a couple but you willingly gave away your favourite ring, letting him hold, kiss and mess with your head daily. Maybe this was the love you’ve been dreaming about? Han Jisung, your first love, had a nice ring to it.

You weren’t sure. But what you were sure of was the way he managed to make you feel like the most special person on earth, like the only one that mattered in this room that was filled to the brim with people. This was his party as much as it was Changbin’s but he’s been spending most of his time with you, not playing host at all. That had to mean something, right?

Even as others approached him, Jisung had no problem shrugging them off and going back to make you laugh or your head spin, only seeing you and your beautiful smile he could never get enough of. Not even his best friend, Minho, got him to himself as much as you did tonight, despite him being the one Jisung was looking for at the beginning of the night.

Han Jisung was considered a genius but around you, he had no problem playing the fool.

His free hand from around your waist moves upwards on your body, sending a shiver down your spine and only stopping once it reaches your face, cupping your cheek. “In that case, I should also give you something.” He says, continuing your conversation from before while you try to regain your composure.

Your arms gravitate around his shoulder, leisurely meeting at the back of his head. “You already did.” You nod towards the chain around your neck, patiently reminding him of his previous gesture.

Shaking his head, Jisung brings the blunt back to his lips. “I mean something a bit more special.”

That piques your interest and you move closer, sharing the same breath while looking straight into each other’s eyes with such intensity it has you forgetting where you are for a second. Getting lost in someone else’s eyes has never happened to you until now, the beautiful and warm brown colour transporting you to unexplored realms.

Just like magic, Jisung’s got you under such a powerful spell that you wouldn’t mind staring into his eyes forever.

“Tell me, baby,” he mumbles lowly, changing the subject, inches away from your lips. “you’re the happiest when you’re with me, right?”

His wet lips part as he exhales the smoke in his lungs right over yours, causing goosebumps to appear all over your body, whole being shaking with desire. It’s been weeks and he’s still teasing you, leaning in just to pull away at the last second, playing tug of war with your heart like it was the most entertaining game in the world.

Somehow, things always ended like this with him. No matter how much time passed, or how your last meeting went, an invisible force pulled you together instantly the moment you near one another. You gravitated towards each other so naturally that sometimes, you didn’t even realize it until you were groping, caressing and begging for him to kiss you. To do something, anything.

So, you nod, seeing no point in trying to hide the obvious truth. This causes a small smile to peak through his mask, the one he wears around everyone, eyes full of fondness as he reaches out to gently put some hair behind your ear. You realize now that he’s never looked at you with anything but fondness and affection, brown eyes always so bright and sparkly in your presence. Even in the more intense moments you shared, it was easy to decipher the love in his lust-filled gaze.

Tenderly, as always, his hand moves to the back of your head to bring you closer before taking another drag of his cig while maintaining the same intense eye contact from before. Your heart rate picks up, the anticipation killing you. What was he planning? How will he mess with your head this time? You wait impatiently, trying to keep yourself together until his thumb connects with your bottom lip and coaxes your mouth to open, having half a mind to close again around the digit. But you don’t and the unexpected happens – without breaking eye contact, Jisung exhales all the smoke he inhaled into your mouth in the sexiest way possible. The gesture affects you both because suddenly, the breath you shared goes faint.

Your heart pounds against your ribcage, almost like it’s begging to be left out and you’re sure he can feel it. Especially when he doesn’t give you any more time to process what just happened and finally connects your lips in the most awaited kiss of your life. You gasp against his mouth and he smirks, taking the opportunity to slip his tongue inside and deepen the kiss instantly.

It feels surreal, finally getting to kiss Jisung after so long. A dream come true, sure – but more like a fairy tale that has finally reached its happy ending.

He’s in no rush, movements controlled with great precision to ensure all the teasing and waiting around has been more than worth it. The arm around your waist tightens, pulling you flush against his body so you too can feel how affected he is by the whole thing, how his body burns with desire as the hand on your hair moves lower, settling on the small of your back, dangerously close to your ass.

But you’ve had it with being careful, always waiting around so you move his hand even lower, to rest exactly where he wants it to be. If Jisung is surprised, he does the opposite because the moment he feels your supple flesh on his fingertips, he squeezes shamelessly which causes you to let out a moan.

Pushing you further into the table, you’re almost sitting on the surface as his hand then moves to cup your face and melt into you deliciously. The kiss is wet and passionate, conveying the desperation that accumulated over the years of being denied this. You’re making out now and you swear your whole body feels like it’s resting on a fluffy cloud, far, far away from here with Jisung being the only person allowed to join you in this high.

It's intoxicating, it’s raw and full of emotion – it’s a kiss like no other, something only he can provide.

Pulling away briefly to allow you to catch your breath, his swollen and wet lips find your neck again only this time, he sucks on the skin with the intent of leaving something behind, evidence of his presence. Your vision gets blurry, a breathy moan escaping you as your hand brings him closer like you weren’t already one, as much as you could be still fully clothed.

“Isn’t this so much better than a little necklace?” He mumbles against your skin, soothing the bruise he left gently. Without waiting for you to answer, Jisung gets a hold of your thighs and finally places you on the table, settling between your legs.

Not like you can answer anyway, too dizzy and drunk on the taste of his lips to care to. Your ring on his finger catches your attention as he begins running both of his big hands on the expanse of your body, caressing every curve over the red and tight dress you have to thank Jeongin for choosing as your outfit tonight.

“Beautiful, baby. So fucking beautiful.”

And that’s all it takes for you to pull him back in, connecting your lips and putting the puzzle pieces back together in a sweet and deep kiss. Holding you by the hips now, he’s more than happy to get lost on cloud nine again, eagerness slowly taking over and making his movements more frantic, grinding his crouch against yours sensually.

There’s no doubt in your mind that you would have ended up fucking on this table, in front of everybody if what happened next didn’t sober you up instantly.

“What the actual fuck are you two doing?”

・❥・

♡. taglist: @liknws @scarletbedlam @xhazmania @skzpvol @slut4colinbridgerton @sealovesbts @stickycrusadecollective @byullielle @princelingperfect @realrintaro @ilychee08 @mysweethannie @jetblackbelle @hanjisunginc @whitney190 @emyladia @hanschimpmunk @briqnne @seungminsapuppy @telehan @heeheehoohoohahahihi @lvrgrl-xo @imnotgoodatnature @adestayskz @imsiriuslyreal @dprkbyn @hyunsungbased @dandycharmer @thepeopleintheback @fashominnie @ch4nniebang @possumy @emikisses @skzhoes @drhsthl @baribaaari @highlydestiny @starsandrqindrops @queerpumpkinnn @lilmarkieepooh

#now not only is he a manwhore hes a thief too #is now my life motto #the tell me baby you're happiest with me moment OH MY GOD #im having my brains spilling out of my ears what the fuck #so shellshocked it's head empty only jisung #deni did it again #elle✩reccs

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