clexaisheretostay - Tumblr blog

clexaisheretostay · 4 years

Text

The Story Of Us

After months of silence and stewing quietly over Kara’s betrayal, Lena believes Kara will never confess and has decided she will never forgive her. She’d given Kara plenty of time to come clean on her own and when she finally does, it’s right before receiving her Pulitzer Prize for journalism. Lena was done because why did it take so long after Lex had already told her for Kara to finally tell her, after years of friendship just to be in the know? And now, now Lena has vowed to never forgive Kara nor see her again. And then something happens, something that forces Lena to set her pride aside and forgive Kara. Supergirl comes crashing through her window, barely breathing, hardly conscious. Lena hates herself for being resentful after seeing the state Kara is in and is reminded of the time when Supergirl almost died months ago from Kryptonite poisoning.

Chapter 1

Fallen Heroes

There was so much wrong in Lena’s life right now. It had been months since anything was right, since she killed her own brother to protect herself and everyone else in the world from his evil. Most of all, it was to protect Kara. Kara who Lena had thought was not only human but vulnerable to all the things humans were weak against because she thought Kara was human too. But that was all a lie. No, Kara wasn’t human. Lena didn’t care about that much. It was the lies. Kara wasn’t just an alien, but one Lena knew as two different people in her life. Both very prominent and important in their own ways in her life. One was her friend, her very best friend, and someone she cherished dearly above all others. The other was someone she had respect for at one point before it was all thrown away by something she would never have done, accusations so baseless and far from what Lena would ever think of doing to someone else. She had been her hero once. But now it was the same person and not two different people? No. Just no. No.

Lena sat back in her office chair, brooding. Jess had helped distract Lena with her extremely packed schedule, something Lena had asked for back when she had first found out, but there was always a spot open between 11-12 for Kara Danvers and her unrestricted access. Because Lena hadn’t had the strength of will to take that away from her. Not after Kara had finally come clean and she was … she sounded so genuinely heartbroken, so remorseful. Lena was at a loss … unsure how to proceed. Kara always did this to her. Made her weak and pathetic in how her heart wanted to forgive her even though her mind wasn’t there yet. It made Lena sick, angry with herself for wavering in her resolve for a single, sincere apology like that was even close to enough. An apology was the least she was owed and it wasn’t nearly enough, shouldn’t be enough to appease Lena’s heart. But she felt some part of her forgive Kara for all of the pain she put her through, the absolute anguish of knowing for several months now that Kara had lied to her about everything continuously. Not once, not twice, but many times over. And Lena felt foolish. Flew here on a … bus. The fact that she had thought she’d had a dream of Kara flying her months before Lex even told her. A few other idiosyncrasies that should have tipped her off. She was blinded by her love for Kara. Never again.

With that in mind, Lena had been slowly distancing herself from Kara. It wasn’t hard to plan her day so well it was nearly impossible for Kara to come over for lunch breaks with Lena because her schedule was so jam packed and full, Lena didn’t have to lie in saying she was busy. Instead of being in the office for lunch nearly every day, Lena had managed to whittle it down to just once a week during the work week and maybe once during the weekends, and she had managed to weasel her way into going to game night just once a month. Limiting their contact was something Kara had definitely noticed but it gave Lena ample time to orient herself into seeming … fine, okay, and not give away the fact that Lena felt such resentment towards Kara for being such a coward and not telling her until over three years of friendship, until more recently. Three years and it finally came from Kara that she had been afraid to lose her. But she should have said something far sooner. Three years for someone she had supposedly believed in and trusted so very much. It was all crocodile tears to Lena even if Kara was upset, had felt truly remorseful. Well, it was too late now because Lex had told her first. Kara could rot in her guilt for all Lena cared. Every time they were in the same room, there was a hesitance in Kara now, as if she was trying to gauge whether Lena had truly forgiven her or not because of the way she stared with regret clouding her eyes, her gaze tentative every time. Lena would give her a reassuring smile and Kara would echo back with one that seemed too relieved but still … cautious. Lena wouldn’t allow that to soften her heart once more to her. Kara should have known better, should have come to her sooner than this and things might have … would have been different.

These days, Lena’s drinking habits had become much worse, but it wasn’t like she wasn’t used to being a working alcoholic anyways. She often drank something during the work day, not much, just a few fingers of her favorite whiskeys usually here and there, but she had been refilling her glass more often during the work day and much more at night. Despite the fact that Kara now used her powers more often when Lena was around, almost hesitant the first few times after she had confessed, it didn’t make Lena feel any better. No, not at all. Somehow, it made Lena think of what it would have been like if Kara had only told her much earlier on in their friendship. It didn’t have to be a specific time frame of being friends for several months or even a year specifically. No, Lena wasn’t unreasonable like that. It was more of a show of trust any time she had done something to support Supergirl, show their rapport, and show that she could definitely be trusted, especially every time Kara had told her, as Supergirl, that she was a good person, smarter than her family, and such things. Whenever Lena had gone and defied her family name once more, that should have been the moment, should have been enough for Kara to confess to her, but it seemed like it wasn’t enough. She just wasn’t enough. Lena would never be more than her own last name. Even to Kara Danvers her Supergirl. The woman who had been her hero as both the woman with a cape and the one in glasses reporting at CatCo.

It was too late. Kara’s apology, her confession, her regret, everything, it was far too late. Lena didn’t know how, but she was going to break free from Kara, her fallen hero. She couldn’t deal with the fact that Kara’s alter ego had burned her so, had hurt her so. This was the least she deserved.

A big alien fight had broken out and the news coverage was widespread that Supergirl didn’t seem to be doing very well. Normally, she was strong, resilient, and so capable. The last few weeks she seemed to have been losing her steam, constantly overexerting herself in every minute emergency possible. No fight was too small, no emergency too big for Supergirl to come save the day. Kara had been a busy bee. She knew. There was something different between them now, their dynamic no longer smooth and effortless. Yes, it was definitely not like how things used to be before. Kara wasn’t blind or dumb enough to not see how Lena was pulling away further and further, slipping away more and more and had been since long before her confession. She realized that it was too late, knew that she should have done it sooner but no … she had been a fool, a coward, nothing like the things Supergirl was supposed to be. Kara loved Lena in ways she couldn’t even explain, couldn’t even begin to describe with the English language. Her soul felt raw, wounded beyond repair by her own doing and it hurt. Rao, did it hurt. Kara deserved it though. Lena pulling away after such a revelation was only just.

Kara was weary now. Broken down. Alex had tried her best to comfort Kara as much as possible but it was hard. It wasn’t like she didn’t value Alex’s opinion and words of wisdom. It was more along the lines of Kara not being able to emotionally handle the baggage she had piled on to herself and Kara had no one to blame but herself for finding reasons to say she would do it tomorrow over and over again, any excuse to not tell Lena that she was a coward and hadn’t told her something she should have said a long time ago, long before now. Kara’s heart, mind, and soul were in turmoil. Everything hurt. There was a pain in her chest, deep within her soul that never seemed to go away, never seemed to get better. Some days, it felt like her lungs were going to collapse within themselves, just cave in. It was like she couldn’t breathe. Her chest hurt too. The way her lungs felt tight, the way her heart ached, and the way her soul cried out in anguish … it couldn’t be anything other than a broken heart, damaged soul, and her body failing her somehow. It was like the concept of a soulmate that Alex had talked about to her once when they were younger. Something about how there was someone out there who was her other half, a concept Krypton didn’t share. Maybe there was some truth to it that Kara hadn’t expected because she wasn’t even human?

Whatever was the case, Kara was sure that she was going to die from this pain. Her heart ached, her lungs were tight, and her soul was weary and broken down now. These days Kara was wondering if whatever alien she was fighting now might be her last fight and she had accepted that each time her eyes opened after a bad fight, she was going to have to wait until the next one to see if that one killed her instead. It was the least she deserved after breaking both Lena’s heart as well as her own like this. That would be poetic justice if she were to die after all of the pain and hurt she had caused Lena because of her own cowardice. Kara was sure of this one thing if nothing else.

Maybe today would be the day. This alien was much stronger than anyone at the DEO had anticipated. Kara was barely keeping up with the strong blows it was throwing her way with its much larger, stronger body. The alien wasn’t faster than her by any means, but it was like punching at an immovable object each time she tried to kick, punch, or head bash the alien it didn’t even seem to slow it down. Kara wasn’t sure if the alien was a male, female, or had any specific gender due to the alien being some kind of anamorphic breed without any hint of gender. That didn’t matter though. What mattered was that this alien was causing chaos and damaging things within the city and Kara was getting the butt kicked out of her with how much strain she was feeling from the ineffectiveness of her punches and kicks. Not a single blow seemed to injure the alien and in fact, because she was punching at them, the alien was able to grab onto her weakening form and throw her around like she was a rag doll. Kara was bleeding everywhere, she was sure, and there was so much pain in her left arm she was sure it had been broken at some point during the fight.

Before she was able to really understand what had happened, she was being thrown high up into the sky and when she finally lost momentum, the alien had jumped up to where she was with their strong legs and kicked her hard. She went flying into some building forty stories high and she was barely able to make out the sounds of a familiar heartbeat accelerate. Kara wasn’t sure if she was going to survive this one because she felt like every single one of her bones had been broken. In fact, her breathing was far too wheezy, like someone with breathing trouble wheezing. This wasn’t good, not at all. But if Kara died today, she wanted Lena to know that she loved her at least.

It was barely two when something went flying through Lena’s window, shattering the glass to smithereens and nearly giving Lena a damn heart attack. Lena looked around wildly while grabbing at one of the guns she kept in her safe in case of any other murder or kidnapping attempts, seeing as Lex wasn’t the only one who wanted to kill her, just the most prominent person. Barely a moment of searching and Lena realized it was someone she knew quite well from the primary colored suit. If it wasn’t for that, the familiar blonde hair and the face she knew so well would have given it away to her instead. There Supergirl lay, Kara Danvers, looking like she was on death’s door. Lena’s heart was in her throat upon seeing how broken Kara looked right now. She was wheezing, like her lung was punctured. Kara was bleeding everywhere. Her forehead had a gash, blood was coming out from her mouth, internal bleeding Lena’s mind screamed at her, and she was most certainly bruised underneath her newest Supergirl suit. Lena’s heart felt like it was in her throat as she took Kara in. She seemed to be trying to say something and Lena rushed to her, putting her gun down on her desk before running to Kara.

“Kara, god, Kara, what happened to you, Kara?!” Lena was frantic, searching over Kara’s severely beaten form with her eyes, hardly daring to touch her wounded friend in fear of making her hurt more.

“Lena,” she rasped, voice weaker than Lena had ever heard it before. “I … I …” Kara’s wheezing caused a fit that she barely had the strength to cough through. “need … tell you …” another wheezing cough, “something important.” She barely managed to squeeze the words out with how weak her voice was, barely more than a raspy whisper, barely audible to Lena’s very human ears so Lena leaned closer to hear better.

“Try to save your strength Kara. Please, darling.”

“No,” Kara barely exhaled. “I need to … tell you … in case …” Kara stopped there, wheezing horribly for a moment before seeming to regain her breath, “I love you, Lena.” Lena could barely make out the words, “have been … for … long time … sorry, so sorry … lied to you.” More wheezing, “you are … beautiful … kind hearted …” whatever else Kara wanted to say, she wasn’t conscious enough for it. Lena was shaken seeing her eyes shut and it looked like she had stopped breathing now.

“You can’t do this to me Kara, damnit! Wake up! Kara, wake up please! You can’t just tell me you love me and die like this!” Lena ran to her phone, Jess most certainly hadn’t heard the crash because Lena had dismissed her for lunch less than an hour ago. She had to call someone, had to call Alex to fix this, fix Kara’s broken body. No sooner had Lena finished dialing, Alex picked up on the first ring, voice just as panicked as Lena felt.

“Where is she, Lena?” A pause, “is she still breathing?”

“L-Corp, Alex, and I … I’m not so sure anymore. She was when I checked on her but she’s … it’s not … it’s not good, Alex, she’s so hurt.” Lena had never felt less calm and collected in her life than in this single moment.

It didn’t take long for Alex to come along and collect Kara to bring her back to the DEO to heal her. Nor did it take long for Lena to find her way there to wait with Alex to see if Kara would wake up, would be okay. And in this very moment Lena came to a certain realization, one that made her feel sicker than when she had found out about Kara’s lies. The last time something like this had happened, she had been able to keep a detached demeanor, if not for the slight worry she still allowed herself for the woman she had considered a friend at one point. Kara had been in similar straights before and back then Lena hadn’t known about her identity, hadn’t worried that much. But now, now Kara was almost dead and in her Supergirl suit and Lena couldn’t help but feel nauseous at the fact that this wasn’t the first time she’d almost lost her.

Lena was a fool. Kara’s identity was a secret for more than just trust. All of the times she had allowed herself to feel detached over Supergirl’s injuries … now it was like a freight train had run her over. Kara could have died so many times in her life and Lena had just … Lena had acted like it wasn’t just about her identity, wasn’t just about knowing that they were the same fucking person. It was so much more than that and now Lena realized that she allowed her pride to overrule everything else. She was normally so pragmatic and able to be logical about most everything but this … she hadn’t been able to see. How had things come to this? When did everything go so wrong? Lena was so disappointed in herself right now. She had been blinded by her rage, her hurt, and upset over Kara’s lies. And now Kara was nearly dead. Lena’s pride in feeling like she had been duped overruled her and Lena couldn’t help but feel like she was the one who should have apologized for allowing this to affect their friendship, for allowing herself to distance herself because now Kara didn’t have time and Lena was the one who needed more time to find the words. If not for her pride, Lena wouldn’t need more time for Kara to know that some part of her had already forgiven her but she was just too stubborn to admit it. She hadn’t been ready to admit it yet, but here, now, with Kara barely alive and being treated at the DEO, Lena’s pride felt so worthless. The weight of Kara possibly dying now over Lena’s pride seemed so insignificant to Lena, so incomparable to Kara’s life.

What had Lena done?

So, new story idea post season 5 opening. I will fix what the show did wrong. Well, for my canon, I will fix it so that it’s what they should have done with the Supercorp relationship. They deserve much better. Chapter 2 available here and chapter 3 is available here also chapters 4, 5, and 6 here, here, and here for everyone who wants to support me with their love.;) Completely forgot to post this here. Also, follow me on twitter for updates here. Happy reading!^^

姫宮光る

#supercorp #fanfic #angst #sadkara #sadlena

6 notes · View notes

clexaisheretostay · 4 years

Text

Lost In The World But Found By You

Lena meets Kara as a lost, distressed child when she is at a park near L-Corp while sitting on a bench and goes to comfort her and spends most of her day with her until she is found by the DEO and taken in by Alex. She then meets Kara properly again a few weeks later in her adult form and can’t help but wonder why it is that she seems so familiar when she is being interviewed by the reporter about her newest invention. And then Lena realizes where she’s seen those golden curls before.

Chapter 1

One moment Kara had been flying at the criminals using alien weapons they clearly didn’t know how to use and she had managed to round up four of them already, knocking their weapons away, when one she hadn’t seen shot her while she was flying back from dropping the other men off at the nearest police station and, thankfully her clothes shrank with her, as she fell from the sky and right in the middle of a park area and found herself lost in the body of a four year old toddler with no concept of English anymore. Kara was looking around, toddling slightly and confused about what had happened to her. Her thumb was in her mouth as she looked around and became overwhelmed with city noise and how vibrant all of the colors seemed all of a sudden. Everything was so much bigger than she remembered and then it seemed like she couldn’t understand anything anyone was saying. She was lost and all alone. Kara turned this way and that and started walking around to find something that looked familiar to her but nothing looked familiar at all. And she felt so small and overwhelmed that she started crying and toddling until she ran into someone and fell down, still crying and confused about where she was now.

Before she knew what was going on a gentle, soothing voice, and a tentative touch on her arm made Kara calm down her crying to soft whimpers as she looked up and saw the prettiest woman she had ever seen with piercing green eyes, pale skin, dark hair, and a worried furrow to her elegant eyebrows. She immediately reached for her and wrapped her arms around the woman’s neck as she spoke to her in a language she couldn’t understand. Kara buried her face into the woman’s neck, snuggled into her warmth, and felt soothed by her kindness and gentle murmuring in her hair as she said something that sounded reassuring and made Kara feel safe.

Somehow, Kara knew she needed to find Alex. Her sister. “Ie! I want my ie! Alex!” The woman said something again, in a soothing, calm tone, and Kara felt placated that she was understood even though she didn’t know what the woman was saying to her. Kara had a sense that she was going to help her find her sister. And she smelled nice and felt warmth from the comforting, soothing patterns she rubbed up and down on her back as she held her in her slender arms. Lena was just glad she was wearing a suit today rather than one of her blouse and skirt combos for once, having worn the suit to intimidate the men on her board committee and show them that she would always be the one with power and the final say even if they didn’t care for a woman being in charge of them. Despite all of her scheduled meetings, Lena was going to take some time to help situate this child. In fact, Lena might take her along to every meeting if necessary because Lena was not going to just leave her to other strangers she might not be comfortable with. No, Lena was going to have Jess buy necessary items to fed and entertain this lost little angel. Yes, Lena was already feeling a little attached despite having only met this distressed child only a few minutes ago, but she was going to do her best for her. She was going to give her what she didn’t have at her age when the Luthor family first adopted her.

Lena was going to do everything in her power to help this child find her family. As soon as she had calmed down enough, Lena was gesturing at herself and telling her that her name was Lena and the child repeated after her, “your name is ‘Ena? ‘Ena!” she smiled at Lena with endearingly puffy cheeks, chubby with youth and baby fat clinging to her adorably. Lena was enchanted with her as she smiled and called out her name when she seemed to ask if that was her name and upon receiving confirmation proceeded to repeatedly call Lena by name with a giddy smile.

“Yes, little one, and what is your name?” Lena asked, gently poking at her cute, button nose, entirely smitten with the young toddler, smiling toothily at her and cocking her head to the side in confusion. When Lena pointed at herself and said her name and then pointed at the little girl, and made some kind of motion, she seemed to get the point.

“I’m Kara!” she said exuberantly, pointing at herself to reiterate her point.

“Kara?” Lena repeated with a smile tugging at her lips at the entirely loveable toddler in her arms.

She nodded enthusiastically, “my name is Kara! You’re ‘Ena and I’m Kara!” Kara tapped a tiny hand on Lena’s shoulder as she repeated what she’d just learned and Lena found herself so charmed by this tiny human and felt herself falling in love with this adorable, intelligent toddler.

“Yes, yes you are, Kara, and I am Lena little one,” Lena said softly, tenderly addressing the bundle of joy in her arms before finally giving Jess a call while she juggled to continue holding Kara while she was calling. After a few rings she was able to have Jess get things all ready for her while she walked with the toddler toddling along on short legs over to the L-Corp building. Lena noticed that she was remarkably fast for her age and, in spite of her little legs, Lena felt as if she was having trouble keeping up with a child less than half her height somehow. Some children were fast, indeed, but usually toddlers were still toddling around awkwardly, barely able to walk as it were, but Lena could hardly keep up with little Kara’s speed. Curious, curious indeed and she was in for even more of a shock when Kara seemed to declare her hunger once they’d gotten back to Lena’s office and Jess had managed to buy toys and other things to entertain the toddler as well as some books for the little girl.

“I’m hungry ‘Ena! Hungry!” Kara said, patting her little belly and making the cutest face and pouting her lips up at Lena. It was honestly the most adorable thing Lena had ever seen and she found herself a victim because she was far too endearing and Lena was absolutely smitten. How could she say no to this little angel simply asking to be fed?

Tapping on her intercom, Lena heard Jess respond almost immediately, “yes, Miss Luthor? What can I do for you?” she asked.

“Would you be able to get something for little Kara to eat please? The little darling is quite hungry. Let me ask her what she would like to eat.” And Lena, seeing as there was an obvious language barrier, decided that using pictures would be the fastest way to figure out what Kara would like.

Despite being so little, she was quite smart. Kara would shake her head while telling Lena no in her language and Lena caught on to what no and yes were simply from that alone. It seemed little Kara was quite hungry indeed, having said yes to quite a few options Lena had shown her from Big Belly Burger. Kara had pointed at a few kid sized meals and seemed excited over some burgers, smiling and babbling in her language as she seemed to emphasize that she was quite hungry and wanted all of the food and had picked out a monstrosity for a drink, some kind of milkshake that looked like it might either cause diabetes or instant cavities even. Triple Fudge Truffle with Caramel and real chunks of Reese’s cups mixed in as well as whipped cream on top and a cherry to induce artery clogging for those faint of heart. Lena almost told her no but she was a child and this might have been the only time she’d get such an overly sweet drink this week and Lena couldn’t even finish telling her no when she looked up at her with bright eyes, looking at her with such adoration and happiness.

And, so, Jess ordered the three kid’s meals as well as a greasy burger for Lena and French Fries enough for just about two larges with how much Kara had asked for. Lena watched in awe as little hands managed to squish the mini burger into a tiny mouth in one big bite and somehow it was the cutest thing that those little cheeks were stuffed like a chipmunk as she chewed before swallowing, letting out a satisfied hum that made Lena’s heart clench at the most adorable thing Lena had ever laid eyes upon and she almost didn’t want Jess to contact anyone. As if she wasn’t being the most endearing thing possible already, Kara patted her little belly and seemingly thanked her in her language with a big, toothy smile before stuffing her mouth full of as many French Fries as her little mouth could possibly fit and Lena’s heart felt so warm and full from the feeling, from seeing this enchanting child doing something as mundane as eating food. She ate like she’d never eaten before in her life.

Lena might have been a little in love with Kara and ready to adopt her if the police weren’t able to find out where Kara belonged.

After Kara finished all of her burgers, fries, and milkshake, despite how absolutely tiny she was, she patted her belly once more, having cleaned up all of her mess, copying Lena as she’d cleaned up her wrapper and put them into the bag that had carried her food, she cleaned up her hands as instructed by Lena and crawled onto Lena’s lap on the couch for a nap. She laid her little head against Lena’s chest her tiny, little hands fisted on Lena’s suit jacket as she held onto her and fell asleep within moments and Lena wanted to keep her forever. Lena had never seen herself having kids of her own. Maybe in the distant future she might possibly … but spending just a few hours with this little sweet angel made Lena feel … almost motherly.

Lena had Jess reschedule all of her immediate meetings until Kara woke up from her nap, not having the heart to leave the little girl alone on the couch just for something as insignificant as a meeting with potential investors. Kara was more important. Much, much more important. Lena felt herself drifting off as well, the warmth of little Kara’s body, the way she snuggled deeper into Lena’s embrace after she wrapped her arms around her made Lena feel safe and warm. And waking up to the bluest eyes looking up at her in awe made Lena’s heart swell and she smiled before pressing her forehead against little Kara’s forehead, not wanting to get her red lipstick on her plump, soft cheeks.

“You’re pretty. The prettiest person ‘Ena!” Despite all of the toys Lena had gotten for her, Kara didn’t seem much interested in them at the moment. She seemed content to play with Lena’s hair and pat her cheeks gently with her tiny, tiny hands.

Lena had a meeting in half an hour and she tried to get Kara interested in the toys and had Sam play come in to watch Kara for a bit while she got ready for her meeting by going over some notes in an email for it and hugged the little girl before leaving her office. To her surprise, before she could quite manage to get the door completely open, little Kara was wrapped around her legs, seeming to realize Lena’s intentions to leave. “I need to go to a meeting, sweetie. Just for a little while okay?”

Kara shook her head, “no go, no go! I want you to stay with me, please? Stay with Kara please!” Little Kara had tears in her blue eyes. She had a firm grip on Lena’s pants but let go when Lena bent down to address her carefully, gently.

“How about I take you with me, Kara? Would that make you feel better?” Kara didn’t seem to understand so Lena just took that as a yes and looked over to Sam, “it seems she wants to stay with me during my meeting, Sam. Can you check in to see if anyone has come from the police station yet with any information on a missing child? Jess should have contacted them a while ago.”

Sam smiled at her gently, “of course, Lena.” Looking at Kara, Sam nodded in her direction, “someone seems to be quite attached to you. Honestly, being that she was lost, her feeling attached to you seeing as you found her and helped her right away doesn’t surprise me. I have to say, her little Supergirl costume is adorable and incredibly well made Lena, but wouldn’t she be more comfortable in other clothing?”

Lena gave her a wry smile. “I did have Jess buy her other clothes but she looked at them with distaste, like, she didn’t like how it felt. Honestly, she seemed uncomfortable with the material so I just let her keep her costume on. You’ll have to tell me what Ruby is going to be dressed as for Halloween since it is just a few weeks away now.”

Sam laughed at that. “You’ll never guess who she is going to be dressed as,” Sam said with a wink. Lena rolled her eyes at her.

“Hm, Supergirl?” Lena asked, already knowing the answer as she picked little Kara up, who immediately wrapped her little arms around Lena’s neck and snuggled into her, letting out a happy sigh upon realizing that she would get to stay with Lena.

“Do you even have to ask?” Sam gave Kara a sympathetic look. “I’ll go check in with Jess. Go to your meeting.” Then a wicked smirk appeared on Sam’s lips, “let’s see them try to say something belittling or nasty to you with a toddler attached to your hip in this meeting. Some of your potential investors are sexist pricks.” Lena glared at her. “What? I said pricks and not the other word, not that she can understand English anyways.”

Lena didn’t even dignify Sam with a response before leaving.

It was funny really, how intimidated the men were by the presence of a tiny toddler sitting comfortable on Lena’s lap as they talked business with her, arguing about investing. Kara was more than content to simply sit on Lena’s lap and play with her fingers or suit jacket, endlessly fascinated by the feeling of Lena’s skin or the fabric of the suit jacket. And if she wasn’t doing that, she was busy playing with Lena’s face, babbling in her language but Lena had the sense that she was saying flattering things with the smile she directed Lena’s way as she played with her face in childish wonder.

The men she was talking to didn’t seem to know how to react to Kara’s presence. One man seemed to be particularly charmed and had tried to subtly ask why she was there during the meeting.

“I found her lost in the park and I am waiting for the police to get back to me with more information about what to do to help her find her parents or guardians. Until then, she seems rather attached to me and she is a sweet little angel so I won’t have her being uncomfortable around people she isn’t comfortable with.”

The man nodded humbly. “She is quite endearing.” He cleared his throat, “do you mind if I …?”

Lena stood up with Kara in her arms and Kara, seeming to think they were finally leaving this boring activity, wrapped her arms around Lena happily, babbling about how she was excited to go somewhere much more entertaining. “Darling, he’s going to hold you for a moment if you’re okay with it.” Even though there was a language barrier, Lena was going to try to inform Kara about what was happening because that was only fair.

He took Kara from Lena and she started to fuss, thinking he was going to take her away from Lena. “No, ‘Ena! Don’t let him take me from you please! I want ‘Ena, not him, please!” Lena was starting to wonder if she knew what the word please was because Kara seemed to say it at the end of her requests when distressed and Lena took a hold of Kara’s hand, reaching out for her, and rubbed her back with the other to soothe her from her distress.

“I’m sorry, she just … she looks so much like my daughter before we … lost her last year and I … I shouldn’t have asked.” He gently passed Kara back to Lena and Lena felt sympathy for the man obviously still grieving over such a horrific loss.

“Don’t worry about it. Kara just likes me because I found her and took her in several hours ago and I don’t know how long she will be under my care, but I will make sure she is well taken care of until we find her family or someone who can take care of her properly.”

He smiled. “You seem to be doing a great job with her.” Lena gave him a small, genuine smile as thanks before they moved along in the meeting, Kara being a perfect little angel the entire time as she snuggled into Lena’s warmth and fell asleep half an hour into the long meeting. Little hands grasping onto her suit jacket before they slipped away as Lena picked her up and rested her little head against her shoulder instead as the meeting carried on in hushed voices, the men respecting that she was a sleeping child and softening their voices. Within another hour their negotiations were finished and it was better than Lena had even anticipated and she pressed a barely there kiss to little Kara’s cheek as she walked back to her office after the meeting.

Lena didn’t want to part from little Kara. This sweet angel could stay with her forever.

As the day wore on, the police finally brought in some detectives, a Maggie Sawyer and her partner, Lexa Woods. They asked how this all happened and little Kara was still asleep so they couldn’t ask her anything directly as she was snuggled deeply into Lena’s arms letting out adorable little breaths that just made Lena smile involuntarily.

Her little face scrunched up when someone spoke a little too loudly, a little crinkle appearing in between her brows. If Lena wasn’t already in love, she would have fallen in love with that face as Lena sat with Kara on her lap instead because her arms had gotten tired.

“You seem to be quite attached to her,” Detective Woods stated calmly.

Lena looked up from the adorable child who had stolen her heart. “Yes, unfortunately I am quite attached. She is just so sweet and it hurts my heart to know that she isn’t mine to keep. Kara has a family somewhere probably worried sick and missing her and I would never take that away from her, but I just wish that I might be able to visit her after this if possible. Someone out there must be searching for her now, but I just fell in love with this darling little angel.”

Not long after they finished questioning her, Kara woke up a little grumpy because she needed to use the bathroom but didn’t know how to say it until she did the potty dance, Lena hadn’t understood. Kara did not like using the bathroom here at all. It was so different from the one she grew up using and the paper she had to use to wipe her butt just didn’t make any sense to her because she was used to other means. But since Lena had done everything to help her, she didn’t really care much. It was just weird.

Lena had things ordered by Jess for her apartment’s guest room to be set up for little Kara and Kara refused to sleep in her own room and toddled around after Lena had tucked her in and jumped up on Lena’s queen sized mattress somehow while Lena was changing into her sleek, silky pajamas. Lena chuckled upon seeing the little girl sitting on her bed and patting the spot next to her while probably telling her to sleep next to her based on how she said her name. “Here ‘Ena! Sleep here next to Kara please!” And just how could Lena say no to that enthusiastic expression of joy and cuteness incarnate?

Kara giggled with joy when Lena ran over and jumped onto the bed, landing next to her and jostling little Kara enough to have her bounce up slightly. She crawled over Lena’s stomach and pressed her little face into Lena’s neck and held onto the collar area of Lena’s shirt.

“You are so precious. I hope we have a few more days together at the very least just so I can savor these moments with you before they become a memory of our time together, Kara.” Kara looked up at Lena, tilting her head to the side and smiling when Lena pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead, now that her lips were makeup free she was more willing to press kisses to Kara face and adorable cheeks. And then Kara pressed a sloppy little kiss to Lena’s cheek too. Lena was so in love with this little girl she never wanted to let her go. But she would have to when Kara’s family finally found her and Lena’s heart would break on that day because Kara was so special.

So, I have always loved Kid Kara fanfics and decided to write my own. I want this to be fluffy, despite how much angst I normally write, because these last few episodes have been more than angsty enough for me to crave some fluff.

姫宮光る

#supercorp au #kid kara #kara x lena #lena #supercorp fanfic #fluffy

25 notes · View notes

clexaisheretostay · 5 years

Text

Rao’s Sauce

Kara goes shopping at the grocery store one day when she finds the holiest sauce of all holy sauces … Rao’s Sauce. Lena happens to be in the same store when she spots Kara spouting what sounds like some kind of chant while on the phone with Alex and telling her about this most sacred sauce she’s discovered. Seeing Kara’s extreme excitement over food is nothing new, but never has Kara ever been so ready to exalt the food in front of her eyes. This time when Kara finds a surprise in her office, it won’t be full of flowers!

Rao’s Sauce

Never in Kara’s life did she think she would find something so sacred under these circumstances. Walking down an unassuming aisle at the grocery slightly out of her way, there it was. Rao’s Sauce. It was the godliest sauce, a sauce she’d thought died with her home planet’s utter destruction. But here it was. In this grocery store. Kara had to call and tell Alex about this discovery right away! It wasn’t mere circumstance. This was fate, destiny. Nothing short of something so miraculous could have brought her here, down this very aisle but Rao’s light and guidance! Kara was very sure of that fact, more than anything else in this moment. Pulling her phone out carefully but swiftly, Kara dialed Alex’s number as quickly as possible without damaging her phone and as the call connected, Kara picked up the sauce that her God had brought her to in order to show her he still lived. Never in Kara’s wildest dreams did she think that she’d ever pray to Rao again but he had given her a sign and she wasn’t one to ignore such a blatant one, such an obvious call from her true God. Rao had shown Kara the light.

As Kara waited for Alex to pick up, she picked up a plastic bottle housing Rao’s Homemade Sauce and held it above her reverently as if it were the scene from The Lion King, one of Kara’s favorite movies because she could relate to so much of it, and held it as if the jar was Simba and Kara herself was Rafiki. In reality, her phone must have only rang a few times but it felt like eons before she heard Alex picking up.

“Hey Kara, what’s up?” Alex asked calmly and she barely had time to say even that before Kara started spitting out rapid fire Kryptonese.

“Rao is here, Alex! In my very hands is Rao’s essence itself! In all of the years I’ve been on earth, I thought I would never be in Rao’s presence ever again after Krypton’s destruction but he survived and his red light, the very essence of his warmth is here in my hand as we speak! This is … he sent me a sign that I cannot ignore! Please Alex, come join me as quickly as possible so that you can pray with me and carry a bottle of his essence with you so that he may know that I have seen the sign and I acknowledge his presence in my life once more!”

Lena had been turning down the same aisle, looking for simple and easy things to use to cook since eating out all of the time wasn’t healthy, even if she adored the person delivering the food. Though Lena hated to admit that carbs were a guilty pleasure, buying homemade sauce for noodles made it so much quicker to prepare a warm plate of spaghetti. As Lena maneuvered her cart to the aisle of sauces a strange sight and sound greeted Lena’s eyes and ears. Was that … Kara? And was she chanting with a plastic jar of spaghetti sauce in her hand held above her like that movie about lions she insisted on making Lena watch with her shortly after they first became friends years ago? Lena knew Kara worshipped food, acted like food was the most magical substance in the world. But to the extent of exaltation where she paraded around the store with it in her hand like it was holy while chanting into her phone? And did she just say Alex’s name too? What in the world? This had to be some kind of dream or something Lena’s mind was making up but then it was several minutes later of Lena just standing there and staring when all of a sudden Alex had joined Kara and, upon Kara’s obvious insistence, was also holding a jar full of some brand of spaghetti sauce as well and repeating whatever Kara was saying too.

As Lena stood there, in complete shock, they started moving as if they were conducting some sort of … ceremony? Lena had no idea Kara was even the least bit religious until this moment. That must have been some spaghetti sauce for Kara to act like it was better than even the most sacred of all of Kara’s favorite foods: pot stickers. Even pot stickers never warranted such a reaction from the woman and Lena knew what she was going to do tomorrow now.

It was a strange spectacle, seeing the women walking with their hands joined and a jar of sauce in one hand raised in the air as they chanted something that sounded somewhat like Latin, but not entirely distinguishable from the distance Lena currently was from them. Not sure what to do, Lena approached and called out to both Kara and Alex hesitantly. “Kara, Alex, what are you both doing here … and are you … chanting right now?” Lena asked, stopping both women in their tracks entirely and watching as Kara made eye contact with Alex briefly before nodding once and looking at Lena the most serious expression Lena had ever seen in her entire life.

“Alex and I are joining in our worship of … Rao’s sauce.” Kara was so serious in a way that was rarely seen as she continued to explain in a way that cleared absolutely nothing up for Lena. “This liquid is the most sacred sauce in the world, Lena, its essence has touched millions of lives.” Goodness, this must be the best spaghetti sauce in the world if Kara was praising it like this. “Nothing in the world can compare to the importance of this wonderful, beautiful red sauce of the gods! Would you like to join us in prayer?” So, Kara had indeed been chanting in some sort of language that might have been similar to Latin. Though it begged the question of where Kara had learned such a language because Kara had never told her she knew more than just English nor had she indicated that she spoke anything else all of these years.

“No, you go ahead and continue! I’m just here to shop for some things and I have to buy so much more before I’m even done! Go on, carry on without me.” Lena retreated with plans to surprise Kara once more with an office full of something other than flowers this time. In fact, Lena was almost giddy with this plan because most recently, Kara had told Lena about how Brainy was sending Nia far too much food for her to eat at the office and now Lena was going to show him what true romance looked like because as adorable as he was, he needed someone to guide him in the ways of wooing someone. Yes, Lena was going to show Brainy how romance worked!

With a plan hatching in Lena’s mind, she went about on the rest of her shopping trip and made sure the coast was clear after she’d gotten everything else she needed and headed back for a specific aisle housing a specific sauce.

Lena was in stealth mode to make sure the sister’s were no longer there despite having seen them parading around with robes at one point throughout the store, and she wondered where those robes had even come from because they hadn’t been wearing them when Alex first joined Kara earlier. Then again, Halloween was around the corner so robes probably weren’t that hard to acquire no matter what kind of store one was in to shop. After checking that neither sister was present, Lena enacted her plan and made sure to buy up each and every jar with help from a nearby employee who must think she was finally cracking like her brother had under pressure and gone crazy as well for buying 150 jars of this special Rao’s Sauce that had gotten Kara acting strange. No one would be surprised if Kara was passed out on a random surface after stuffing herself full of donuts or some other overly sugary sweets. It was just Kara to be like that after all. But this, Lena had never seen such reverence before and Lena wanted to make sure Kara was perfectly aware of Lena’s intentions. Even if they never became a couple, Kara at least knew that Lena always cared and would stand by her no matter what happened.

The next day Kara was at work, there was a big surprise waiting for her in her office. Everyone was giving her strange looks at work and Kara had no idea why. As Kara walked in further, Nia came over and pulled her aside into a corner of the office. “What did you do? It’s like the flower incident from three years ago before I started working here. That was really epic and iconic. But this is … a whole other level.”

Kara looked at Nia with furrowed brows as she tried to subtly glance around for anything out of the ordinary surrounding her. “I don’t know what you’re talking about Nia. Nothing looks off to me anywhere. Wait, did you say something about flowers from three years ago … like when Lena filled my office with flowers?” Upon registering that, Kara perked up and started moving her gaze in the direction of her office to see through the walls only to find … “Rao’s sauce!”

Nia looked at Kara with absolute bewilderment because she sounded happy about … spaghetti sauce in a jar? Granted, Rao’s sauce was homemade by some family that became huge because it was really good but still … this was something so odd to be so giddy about in the way Kara was. Did Kara even act this excited about pot stickers, her number one favorite food in the whole world? This was … strange. “Why are you so happy about this sauce? Isn’t all sauce the same except some are better than others depending on preference?” Nia asked, looking dubiously at the nearly endless supply of jars that no human could finish off with even ten years to use it all up. In fact, this amount might last Kara only a few months at most and only weeks if Kara ate nothing but noodles with this massive amount of sauce.

It was as if Nia had said something sacrilegious based on the look on Kara’s face. “Nia, this is no ordinary sauce. This is Rao’s Sauce! It is the most sacred liquid, nectar from the God himself, Nia! This sauce must be treated with veneration, Nia! Never did I think that a single trip to the store would result in seeing such a miracle right before my very eyes today. He sent me a sign and I received his message loud and clear, Nia! Rao is communicating with me and I am ready, as his humble servant, to do as he asks me and continue to bring justice for all. I thought I’d lost him all of those years ago before I even landed on earth, but he saw my struggle and listened to my plight and brought me to this point by talking to me and I listened, Nia. This is beyond words.”

“Um, I don’t know what you’re talking about, but Lena’s the one who obviously sent you this because who else has the money to buy 150 some jars of spaghetti sauce, Kara?”

Kara’s eyes bugged out. “S-spaghetti … sauce, you said? This is … spaghetti sauce?” And Kara looked like she was questioning the existence of something that could take away her belief in one fell swoop the way Nia just had. “No, this is … this is Rao’s light! It’s, it’s Rao’s way of telling me all will be okay and that he still lives.”

Nia looked heartbroken to have to inform Kara that she wasn’t in her right mind over this sauce. Taking Kara’s arms gently, she gave Kara a gentle look. “Kara, look at the label more closely, please. What does it say?”

Looking at it closely, Kara saw that the label clearly said Rao’s Homemade Marinara. But that … that had to mean that he created this sauce as a signal for Kara to know that he was … everywhere. “I’ll be right back.”

With that, Kara left CatCo and flew for Lena’s balcony, dressed as Supergirl and knocked on the balcony door, causing Lena to turn in her seat, a startled look on her face. “Supergirl, what are you doing here?” she asked in a neutral tone.

Kara gave Lena a serious look. “Why did you fill my office with sacred sauce, Lena?” she asked.

Lena looked at Supergirl incredulously, “I’m sorry, what?” she asked, completely bewildered by the strange sentence that left the hero’s mouth combined with the look on her face.

“You filled my office with jars of Rao’s Homemade Marinara. Why did you do that, Lena?”

Comprehension seemed to dawn on Lena in that very moment. “K-Kara? Is that you?” Lena asked, a look of shock appearing on her face at the nonchalant revelation.

“Don’t change the subject, Lena! Of course, I’m Supergirl. I thought you already knew that?” Kara said, crinkle present as she gave Lena her patented puppy dog look of utter adorableness and slight confusion. “Anyways, why did you fill my office with all of that sauce?”

“I … you … what is going on right now?” Lena couldn’t finish any of her sentences at the moment. One of the most intelligent human beings on earth was left completely speechless where she normally had such poise and grace when she spoke, sounding like the epitome of sophistication no matter what words left her pretty mouth.

“You gave me like, a few months’ supply of sacred spaghetti sauce!” Kara was not giving up on the holiness of the sauce she’d found by chance at the grocery store just last night. “Why did you buy so much?”

“Well, I was trying to give you a sign, Kara.” Lena said, causing another tail spin of thoughts to flow through Kara’s mind upon hearing the word sign. It must be Rao’s guidance leading her all the way to Lena. Surely, Kara could not ignore such an obvious sign from him that he wanted Kara to be around Lena and stay with her forever! He gave her all of the signs that lead her right here, right in front of Lena Luthor.

“You’re … Supergirl, Kara? Kara Danvers. You’ve been lying to me for years now!”

“But, Rao is giving me signs that means we have to be together forever! I cannot ignore his wishes Lena! This is for the greater good!” Kara said before pulling Lena into a warm hug and whispering in her ear. “He is trying to tell me that we were meant to be together, Lee. Is that okay with you … being with me, that is, Lena?”

Never in Lena’s wildest dreams did she imagine that this might happen to her. “Yes, Kara. Even though you lied to me … you thought I knew the truth and I was just too blind to see it.”

Shyly, Kara pulled back and looked down as she asked, “can I kiss you?”

Lena smirked as she pulled Kara by the collar of her new suit into a sweet kiss that tasted like a hint of … spaghetti sauce? “Darling, why do you taste like … sauce?”

“I had to try it to make sure it was really Rao’s light or not, Lena. Don’t be so silly!” Lena might have regretted her recent purchase just slightly after the next four months tasted like this revered sauce Kara was adamant about using on everything she ate. Absolutely everything. Still, Lena loved Kara. Lena wouldn’t have her silly Kryptonian any other way even if she was sick of the secondhand taste of spaghetti. Maybe this was a sign for Lena to never indulge in carbs in the form of pasta ever again in her life.

So, this was the crackiest of crack fics based on a bottle of spaghetti sauce I legitimately found while shopping. It was fate and thus, this silly, crazy, funny fic was born. Literally, I almost peed my own pants coming up with this ridiculousness with a friend I messaged about finding this Rao’s Sauce!XD I feel some levity is warranted considering the show writer’s making Lena become slightly unstable and Katie’s flawless performance of such a thing the last few episodes aired. Hopefully (no pun intended in Hope fully taking over Eve’s body or anything like that) this will keep things light!XD

姫宮光る

#Supercorp #Crack fic #AU #One Shot #Supercorp Memes #Lena x Kara #Comedy #Lena Needs Rao's Help

91 notes · View notes

clexaisheretostay · 5 years

Text

I can’t!XD

petition to rename the usa ‘south canada’

2M notes · View notes

clexaisheretostay · 5 years

Text

How Can I Be With You?

Kara is an angel, one in charge of fighting against demons walking amongst humans and causing evil to spread in both subtle and sometimes blatant ways. Her brother in arms, Kal-El had been fighting against the most notoriously influential demons known as the Luthors for years as they disguised themselves as a wealthy family on earth. Lex Luthor, in particular, hated him and made it his mission to cause as much chaos and havoc as possible. He had even gone out of his way to attack Kal-El in an attempt to kill him many times over. Things had been tense between the forces of Heaven and the demons of Hell for centuries, but more recently the contention and clashing caused even earth’s humans to notice something was wrong.

If that weren’t bad enough, Kara met Lionel Luthor’s hidden half demon daughter, Lena, at some point on her travels and hadn’t noticed her demon aura since she had been raised amongst humans with her human mother before her death. After her mother died, Lionel took her in and she didn’t even realize that she was a half demon until Kara came into her life but angels and demons aren’t really meant to live together and just what can Kara do when she finds herself drawn to the half demoness? No one in Heaven would ever understand her fascination with the half demon woman.

Chapter 1

So Beautiful To Me

Amongst all of the classes of angels, Kara was a special case. Not only was she one of the strongest amongst the angels, she was able to interact with humans for the sole purpose of helping them find their soulmates. And no, she was not cupid. Not really. She was more like … a guiding force for people bound to each other by the red string of fate. The Chinese got that part right about their belief in the heavens and what happens in the after life when it comes to certain roles of angelic beings. Kara was sunshine, happiness, effervescence, and she was the very definition of light incarnate, she was effusively happy. Everyone who knew her, well every angel, who knew here thought of her as one of earth’s more adorable creatures: a puppy. The angel she was closest to was definitely Alex, her sister figure, and they were thick as thieves. Any time they had something important to do with any sign of danger, one could not be found without the other and they always had each other’s backs.

James, J’onn, Winn, Lucy, Eliza, and M’gann were also like her family amongst the angels she knew in heaven, but no one was as close to her as Alex was. They were each other’s sisters in arms when they had to fight against any demons causing too much chaos, destruction, or tried to rise up to fight them. Any time a demon insurrection was a possibility they were one of the many chosen to take care of it before it grew to the point of losing too many angels in the fight. It hadn’t happened very frequently, but one of the prominent figures in the demon world currently was the wealthy Luthors. They hid in plain sight amongst humans because they were such high-level, powerful demons they could control their less than human appearance. Not only were they strong demons, one of the strongest demons masquerading as powerful, influential humans, they were extremely wealthy. Currently, they were one of three known demons with CEO status over companies in National City. Their own angel, Cat Grant as her human name was, had CatCo Worldwide Media as a way to keep an eye on their activities without them knowing she was one of them, though her blonde hair shining a certain way in sunlight wasn’t exactly human but her brisk demeanor wasn’t much what most people would think of angels. No, her employees probably thought she was a she-devil with how mean she was. She was good enough to fool demons into thinking she wasn’t an angelic being. Cat Grant appeared as human as could be.

Right now, Maxwell Lord, Morgan Edge, and Lex Luthor were known for being the big players but Lena Luthor had stepped into the game in National City while her brother relocated to Metropolis instead, where Clark Kent, a renowned reporter had been planted to keep an eye on his movement. For now, neither Cat Grant nor Clark Kent had given away to the fact that they were actually angels amongst humans keeping an eye on the demons yet. It wasn’t hard to make identities for angels since they had agents of their own for that very purpose just as the demons did. The angels did everything by the book though to make sure they didn’t just come out of nowhere and were found out by the demons they were watching unlike the demons and their seemingly abrupt rise to power. No one really expected demons to do any better than these underhanded methods to get ahead after all. It was expected with their nature. But heaven had its own system and would never stoop that low. No, they played by the rules and made sure that every transition was seamless.

Kara was chatting with Alex about the state of things where they were up above the clouds where most angels went to relax when they didn’t have an assignment or special mission. Of course, there were patches of heaven they could say was their personal space like a home but it was whatever made them happiest. And time didn’t pass up here, not like it did in the human world. For an angelic being, an hour in heaven was a day on earth and so time moved slowly for them. A single day in heaven was nearly a month for humans and for them, thousands of years had passed and still they were no older than the day they came into existence. Time moved so slowly for them that mere seconds were hours on earth and sometimes that was a blessing and for Kara it was sometimes a curse instead.

“I’m so bored, Alex,” Kara whined, pouting at the other angel who laughed at her, amusement causing her lips to quirk up. Being that she was a warrior angel, Alex was more prone to brooding and sarcasm since the warrior angels were more along the stoic type of angels, Kara being an exception since she also handled cases of love. She tended to help guide people towards love so it wouldn’t make sense for her to be a dark stranger approaching someone about being brave and just going for it. Now that would have them running for the hills screaming in terror. Well, that was how Kara imagined things going if she approached humans with Alex’s special brand of broody badass warrior angel of freaking heaven. Alex had merely scowled at her and Kara had laughed.

“That sounds more like a you problem than an us problem, Kara. I don’t know what you expect me to do about you being bored when you could be making people fall in love with their soulmates instead on earth.” Alex even rolled her eyes at Kara. She rolled her eyes! That was such a human thing to do honestly!

“I think you’ve been hanging around humans too much, Alex! You even roll your eyes like human teenagers do to authority figures in their lives when they’re told to do something!” Kara said with far too much enthusiasm for Alex.

“And you are far too chipper even if you are an angel of love.” Kara pouted at her and Alex smirked in response at her pouting lower lip. “What? You know it’s true, Kara.”

Kara resisted the temptation to copy Alex and roll her eyes too. “Whatever.” And then Kara made a face, crinkle that everyone loved to tease her about appearing in between her furrowed brows, “oh! I feel a ping for help coming in! See you in a few seconds!” Every angel felt a different sensation for when they were being called upon by their charges for help. Kara called it a ping because she liked to think of it as a sort of pulling sensation. So, ping for short. Alex referred to her as more of a tug or demand for help because she was in charge of fighting off demons. Particularly, she dealt with lower level demons usually. There were certain areas on earth considered neutral territory that both angels and demons frequented when half demons and partial demons who wanted nothing to do with their other side went. Often, those demons were considered lower level demons anyways and the establishment was actually run by a half demon, half human and their half angel, half human partner. They didn’t allow disputes between any angels or demons who frequented regardless of how pure or impure their blood because it was neutral ground. Those who fought were kicked out for the night and made to pay for each other’s drinks as their penance. Kara would sometimes go there and drink things acceptable for angels that the half angel, Maggie Sawyer, would make. Alex also had a thing for her even if she wouldn’t admit it despite how many times she’d managed to make Maggie think she didn’t like her with her mysterious silence when Maggie tried talking to her when she came in with Kara or as a group with their friends. Samantha Arias was the other owner and had been friends with Maggie for a long time.

It made Kara a little curious that she was being directed to the bar. Of course, the place was made so that no purely human being could enter the establishment, but that didn’t mean that outliers could exist. Someone who had even a single drop of non-human blood should not be able to cross the threshold, however, there was the possibility of someone with just enough blood for it to consider them non-human enough to enter even if they had no idea that they weren’t anything but human. Things like that did happen on occasion and memories were erased more often than not in those cases and they were specifically specially marked as human afterwards for their own protection as a precaution. Kara had no power over those who had any blood that caused them to not be fully human, so her being pinged towards the bar was extremely odd. It made no sense. She could not guide non-humans into meeting soulmates. In fact, Kara wasn’t sure if all half demons had souls. Most did but rejected their souls and half humans sides in order to fully become a demon. Those who didn’t reject their half human side retained a soul from their human halves.

Walking into the establishment she saw both women hard at work and greeted them both warmly. “Hi Maggie, hello Sam! I see you’re both hard at work already even though it looks like it might be afternoon in the human world from how bright it is outside. Though, we all know I’m not the best judge of earth time since it’s so hard for me to keep track!” Kara gave them an almost conspiratorial look, even winking at them with some exaggeration.

“Yes, that we do know,” Maggie said with amusement showing clearly on her face.

Sam interjected with a friendly inquiry, “so, what brings you here today? Is something wrong or are you here for … cupid business,” and Kara pouted at being called cupid.

“No! I am not cupid because that little cherub, as cute as they are, is not the proper representation of someone with my profession! We do not carry heart shaped arrows for goodness’ sake and how painful would it be if I went around terrorizing poor humans who cannot see me unless I make myself corporeal for them? They’d wonder why someone was going around shooting those sharp arrows at their behinds!”

Outright laughing, Sam cleared her throat after a moment, completely immune to Kara’s pout. “And this is exactly why I call you a cupid on purpose and you never fail to deliver. Honestly, it never becomes less amusing,” and this time she elbowed Maggie who wasn’t doing a very good job of hiding her own amusement. They teamed up on her all of the time, only made worse when Alex was also around to join in with some smart quip that never failed to make Maggie give her a look. No matter how much Maggie flirted, Alex denied her possible interest with well placed comments about how she was half angel and was nice to everyone and possibly flirted with many people because she was also half human. And no, she wasn’t flirting with Alex even if Kara was convinced she was.

“Well, whatever. I don’t know why, but I was pinged and felt it from somewhere in here even though I can’t influence either demons or humans. Speaking of, we angels don’t even have red strings attached to us. How did I receive a ping here if I can’t influence any angels or demons of any sort? I’m not sure if someone who is a quarter can be effected by me or not because I’ve never had a call for them either.” Kara looked around, trying to spot the target.

“It could be because my very human father has brought my half sister around and she is very human. She’s actually sitting at that table over there because she’s been making some googly eyes at the one half demon that way since she came in to have a quick drink. They mostly came in to say hi but now she’s turned it into looking at him because he is definitely her type. She hasn’t had the courage to say a word to him yet.” Maggie smirked and Kara knew what was going to come out of her mouth before it even happened. “Go do your job cupid and shoot that dangerously sharp arrow, Kara.”

Scowling but taking the out given anyways, Kara made her way over and smiled as she made herself invisible to humans but other angels, even ones with slightly diluted blood, could still see her somewhat though demons, no matter how diluted their blood, wouldn’t be able to see her or sense her if she was trying to completely conceal herself. Mostly demons with strength near the level of high demons would be able to sense her presence in this state. Some angels had been killed for recon missions because of that fact.

Approaching the woman, Kara was sure she looked like a beam of bright light to Maggie because of her class of angel, Kara sent out waves of energy towards the woman, encouraging her to approach the tall half demon who seemed the quiet, strong type. Octavia seemed to bolster from Kara’s energy and nodded to herself before approaching the man and introducing herself. With her assignment completed, she walked back over to the two women. “Look at that, ladies! I got them talking and I think they’re going to be in love faster than you can say Kara is an awesome Angel of the Red String of Fate instead of that other, silly word, that doesn’t describe me … at all!”

They both burst out laughing, unable to contain themselves in the face of Kara being so freaking extra. “Yeah, okay,” Sam said sardonically, barely managing through her chuckling. “Making people fall in love or rather get on the path to falling in love isn’t your job. Nope, I must be thinking about someone else’s work like … a dating website!” Leave it to Sam to be just as extra when it came to her teasing Kara.

Even angels could be sarcastic, if Alex was anything to go by, “oh, look at you! Having a laugh at my expense,” Kara rolled her eyes. “If there are days I ever wonder if you’re a half demon, well, today’s one of those days I don’t need to wonder when you have that flair up for the dramatics and tease me.”

Sam laughed at that good naturedly, used to Kara’s gentle teasing back at her. “Well, I never need to wonder when the Angel of Love is going to be around!” Maggie high fived Sam for that one, both of them tag teaming her not an unusual thing much to her slight chagrin. However, she wouldn’t change her friendship with either woman for anything because not only did they amuse her endlessly, they were kind above all else and they didn’t let their other halves control their fates or outlook on life either.

Most with mixed blood were treated poorly in some way. Those with half angel blood weren’t necessarily shunned, but looked upon with pity by those who were fully angelic beings for not being able to join them up in heaven because they were still partially human. Humans needed to have their souls brought up to be part of the cycle of reincarnation. Being half human meant that they had to live their extensively longer lives before they were allowed into the fold as an angel or be part of the process of reincarnation based on the lives they lead before their deaths. As for half demons … there were not accepted by most demons. Some humans were ignorant of the world of angels and demons and wouldn’t even bat an eye at the half demons living amongst them. And there were some humans with the power of having a sixth sense to detect when they were in the presence of either evil or great good and could detect even half demons despite their human half’s presence. They were wary of those presences though not all rejected them entirely

It was a lonely and hard existence to not have the acceptance of the half of family that caused the disdain in the first place or only being accepted by very few members depending on whether they chose to shed their human half and become fully demon instead. Sam wanted to change that stigma. After having met Maggie because they were both wayward souls amongst their families in a way, they came up with the idea of the bar being a perfect safe haven for both of their common status as halflings. Thus, Halfway to Heaven and Hell was born. And as word spread about the neutral territory to mingle and find camaraderie in other wayward souls who experienced similar rejection and pain came to be. Now it was the hotspot for almost all of the halflings to gather to commiserate in their miseries and triumphs without having to hide who they were and to find solace in others just like them. The half angel, half humans started to join in after also catching wind of the place being run by one such as them and they found a harmony and understanding in the misunderstood half demons who gathered there. It became cathartic for both halves to interact. And now the bar was never short of customers and sometimes there was a need for a third bartender and a few waitresses extra to come in to help out on the busy weekends. Neither women could be prouder of what they had achieved with their safe haven for others like them. It was an amazing thing to see from the start until the expansion of now with slightly more floor space after a quick renovation with the bar made larger to accommodate the increase in business as well as a kitchen being added to add some food to the menu for those who were drinking too much. The menu was made with food that would soak up some of the effects of alcohol, lean meats as well as heavy in carbs as needed. Even the food was well liked by the patrons, including exotic items from the demon world.

Kara loved coming here to see the two women going on strong. She also enjoyed seeing Alex’s lame attempts at indifference towards her obvious attraction to Maggie and how flustered she’d get when those dangerous dimples were flashing at her. Yeah, Kara loved this bar and its two amazing owners so much. Even when they teased her relentlessly. “One of these days you’re going to get tired of teasing me. I swear. Being half angel, you’d think your angelic side would tell you not to be so mean to me,” Kara said over dramatically, looking at Sam with the worst attempt at affront Maggie had ever seen in her life.

“Yeah, yeah. Like I always tell you, if you really hated it so much you’d stop coming by when you don’t have some kind of mission going on. Just admit it, Kara. You love us and how much crap we give you and don’t deny it! I mean, you do choose to come back every time without fail.” And Maggie wasn’t wrong. Kara was a frequent flyer there even if she couldn’t really pay for drinks with actual currency since angels didn’t exactly have paying jobs. Maggie and Sam didn’t mind giving the angels who visited free non-alcoholic beverages though. More than anything, the angels came for the novelty since they didn’t actually need to eat or drink to survive. The angels who had missions in the human world were able to eat and drink for the sole purpose of appearances and not raising suspicion that they were anything other than human. It was a strange concept, but they at least didn’t eat or drink much and bought the bare minimum and only kept their fridge sparsely filled with food and drinks. No need to waste things and resources when there were hungry, homeless humans out there on the streets. In fact, most angels used the salaries that they earned while on their missions to feed the homeless or provide some kind of shelter or comfort for them. This was their nature. Healing, comfort, encouragement, and being pillars of strength to humans. It was what they were driven to do.

“Okay, okay, so maybe I do enjoy your gross abuse of your human halves right to abuse me out of love and the fondness you have for me in your golden hearts.” Sometimes Kara was a sarcastic angel. It was either Alex’s influence or the fact that she was indeed a warrior angel as well despite her entirely too cheerful demeanor being an angel of love as well. Either way, she had her moments of extreme sarcasm however unexpected it was every time she let it out like she did just now.

“Right, well it looks like you really got my sister’s love meter hyped up,” Maggie said, eyeing the way her sister was practically inhaling that guy’s breath with how close their faces were despite the incredible height difference between them. He was a giant. Nearly a foot taller than Octavia.

“Would you look at that? My encouragement for them is blossoming beautifully! Speaking of blossoming love, I feel another person seeking my presence but this one doesn’t seem to be a human related ping. It was nice seeing you two! You know I’ll be back for that delicious human drink you call ‘apple cider’ meant for fall weather!” Kara had a particular sweet tooth despite not having to consume any food or beverages as an angel. However, she had grown fond of the various drinks that Maggie metered out as safe for angelic consumption since alcohol was not only forbidden but harmful for angels to drink. Something about them were toxic for angels and caused them to feel severe weakness and pain. It could even kill them if they consumed a high enough dosage. That was a discovery by an undercover angel trying to gather information from some lower level demons while pretending to be human and had been severely affected by a glass not cleaned out properly for all traces of alcohol and had quickly gone to throw up in the bathroom and discovering this weakness amongst their kind. Some demons had gotten wind of that, though it wasn’t widely spread knowledge amongst the demon world, and it was now more dangerous for angels parading as humans. One sip was all it took for them to figure out which seemingly human beings were truly angels amongst them.

Kara gave a cheery wave goodbye and left with a flourish, red hearts appearing for several seconds in the wake of her movement where she was currently needed. Every angel had varying aftereffects of them moving where they were needed depending on their roles. Warrior angels were more of a flash of light when they showed themselves to trustworthy people. The angels in charge of individuals or whole family’s had more of a sunny, warm glow. Angels charged with children tended to have a rather bubbly type of entrance, showing effervescence and hope in how they moved around. The angels like Kara tended to have more of a range of pink to red hearts left in the wake of their departure and entrance but in Kara’s case it only happened when she was on a more amorous mission than if she was completing a mission as a warrior angel instead. During those types of mission, she crackled like thunder and flashed like lightning because of how strong and powerful she was even amongst other warrior angels. She had been likened to Gabriel in terms of her prowess before. Kara was very nearly indestructible even. The most powerful angel in a long time.

Upon arriving where she felt her ping, she was more than surprised to see Cat waiting for her in her human appearance as the Media Queen Cat Grant. “Ah, Kara. I know that you are quite busy as bees as humans would say, but I have been tasked with keeping an eye on Lena Luthor from my perch as a human media mogul, as you know, but she is … rather elusive.”

“Yes, of course, Cat. I do remember that Clark has been watching Lex and you have been watching Lena individually.” Kara nodded, confirming what she currently knew of the situation.

Cat nodded her head, “right, but I’ve been having trouble keeping an eye on her because she is … rather difficult to meet with. I want you to pose as a junior reporter or at the very least try to see if you can get a job as her assistant instead somehow. We can’t keep an eye on her if we can’t even get close to her to see what is going on in her office. So far, I haven’t managed to do much of anything with her. Lena is … rather problematic to get into touch with even with my army of reporters. Getting her to grant interviews has been harder than me being mean to my employees Kara.” Being angels did make it rather trying when attempting any type of unkind actions towards those who were considered their charges whether they were personally responsible for them or not.

Kara gave Cat a calculating look, “do you think she suspects you at all?”

Shaking her head, Cat replied, “no, I know it’s not that, Kara. Rather, it is just her nature to be camera shy, I believe. Even before her take over as the CEO of L-Corp for her branch she wasn’t one to be in the spotlight or interviewed for any reason. She doesn’t really use most social media accounts and only recently started using both Twitter and Instagram but only for promotions for her products and release dates for her products. Those social media accounts are as old as how long she has been in office so … just about two months now. In all of that time I haven’t been granted a single interview from her. And in all fairness, no one else has been able to snag an interview with her.” Cat looked calculating as she looked at Kara. “I’m thinking that if Clark and you posed as cousins and both request to interview her … or at least have Clark interview her since you won’t know what to do being new to the journalism world, she won’t be able to refuse a well-known reporter like him.”

“So … what you’re saying is you want me to work under you and try to get close to Lena?” Kara asked, putting the pieces of what Cat was asking of her.

Giving Kara a grave look, Cat nodded. “Yes, I have already asked the Creator for permission. It was granted and the choice is yours, so will you help me Kara?” Kara nodded her assent and not long after she found herself standing right in front of Lena Luthor with her supposed cousin, Clark Kent, as the human named Kara Danvers. And goodness gracious, she was not prepared for how absolutely stunning the woman was. Being an angel meant that Kara had seen many beautiful things in her life but Lena absolutely was the most beautiful person she’d ever seen in her existence and she had seen some of the most beautiful humans ever created. Lena was another level of gorgeous, so visually stunning Kara stuttered, became tongue-tied, when she was asked who she was by the ethereal woman.

“And who, exactly, are you?” she asked, moving around her desk to sit down in her chair elegantly. Even the way she moved flawlessly spoke of how graceful she was. Kara had never felt this way before in her entire existence and that had been quite a few centuries going towards a millennia now.

“Um, uh, I’m uh, Kara Danvers. I’m not exactly a reporter but I’m with CatCo Media,” she’d answered with as little grace as possible seeing as Lena possessed all of it, it seemed from this little interaction alone.

Clark gave her a strange look and Kara decisively ignored him as Lena responded to her. “CatCo Media? Aren’t they more of a … fashion outlet than a real news source these days?” she asked, looking slightly put-off by where Kara was currently employed.

“Well, I’m just really here to observe so … um, I’m not really going to write anything anyways,” Kara muttered.

“Anyways, isn’t it convenient that when the Venture was going down, you weren’t on that flight?” Clark asked, his question leading and unlike what a journalist would ask.

“Luckily, Superman was there to save the day,” Lena replied to him easily as Clark continued to give her a measuring look.

“Yes, quite lucky indeed,” he responded.

“Just ask me what you want to ask me because I’m quite busy with running my company, Mr. Kent,” Lena requested briskly, opening her notebook containing many notes.

“Were you involved in what happened, the part’s failure seeing as it came from one of your manufacturers?” he asked.

“Are you asking because of my last name or because it was one of my subsidiaries that made the part that failed?” she asked with a calculating look.

He rolled his eyes at her. “I’m a reporter and I’m just trying to do my job by asking you these questions.” Clark had really gotten into his role as a reporter. He had been doing this for quite some time after all, but still, he was quite efficient in his role. For a brief moment, Kara wondered if angels were in charge of aliens and metahumans on this planet as well. Obviously, some of her fellow angels helped guide other species in the galaxy far and wide, but aliens were a bit of a gray area in her opinion. Some species just didn’t seem to gel with angelic guidance. Daxamites and Kryptonians being two examples. With the Daxamites, they were resistant towards guidance. Kryptonians thought that their form of justice had been perfected because no one was killed nor would they suffer in Fort Rozz in the Phantom Zone where no time passed. It was impractical to try to influence or direct a species like that into certain decisions. Some angels still tried as was tasked of them in spite of the difficulty. It was in their nature to help others after all.

Lena gave them a sad smile, “even so, not all of us are the same just because of who our family is. I may be my brother’s sister and my father’s daughter, but I wasn’t always their family. My father didn’t even take me in, claim me as his child, until he adopted me when I was ten. He didn’t want to admit to what he did so now here I am, defending myself to reporters because of my brother’s behavior rather than my own merits.” She paused as she looked at them both, “I’m just a woman trying to make a name for herself, can you understand that,” she asked, looking almost vulnerably.

Kara answered her, looking at her with understanding, “yes, I can understand that,” Kara said, looking at her with compassion.

The look Clark gave her showed he didn’t share her sentiments on the matter. “Okay, well, I’ve got an article to write and you seem like a busy woman,” he said, giving her a tight smile. As soon as they left the office, he rounded on Kara, “you’re not supposed to sympathize with demons, half blood or not.”

Kara scoffed, “we’re also not supposed to judge them before they’ve even done anything to warrant suspicion either!”

“Okay, we have things to do and appearances to make. We’re supposed to be cousins on earth so let’s keep that charade going for now, Kara.” She was offended that he was supposed to be above judgment since that was the Creator’s role and not theirs as angels. They only guided and helped humans as well as other creatures of the universe. Both of the Kryptonians on this planet were forces of good and did so without prompt. They were doing just fine on their own. Kara sighed. She wasn’t sure how everything was going to turn out, but she had her mission already laid out for her.

So, first chapter here! Hope everyone is interested about where this is going after reading this new concept! The next chapter is available here as well as my other works at: https://ko-fi.com/post/How-Can-I-Be-With-You-V7V714FLW

姫宮光る

#supercorp #fanfic #au #angel kara #half demon half human lena #angst #badass lena #badass kara #lena luthor needs a hug #kara x lena #sad kara danvers #sad lena luthor #kara needs a hug #alex danvers

21 notes · View notes

clexaisheretostay · 5 years

Text

I’m Falling

https://ko-fi.com/himemiyahikaru

I just posted my new story exclusively here. Click on the link to get to my ko-fi account to read it.^^

Summary here.

Jack comes back into Lena’s life and Kara never realized she was in love with her best friend until after they reconnected and started dating again. Not long after Kara breaks up with Mon-El and he has to leave anyways because of the Daxamite invasion leading to lead poisoning being released to get them to leave earth alone. It’s been months and Lena is still with Jack and Kara has become distant and Lena doesn’t know why and keeps trying to find more time for Kara.

Little do they know that there’s something wrong with Kara.

#supercorp #angst #fanfic #au #sad kara danvers #sad lena luthor

3 notes · View notes

clexaisheretostay · 5 years

Text

Commissions Open

https://ko-fi.com/himemiyahikaru/commissions

#supercorp #angst #fanfic #au #commisions open

0 notes

clexaisheretostay · 5 years

Text

Frozen Flowers

Post season 4 reveal with Lena and Kara finding themselves far apart. Lena left long ago but Kara didn't even know and the day she found out was the day she really started hurting. She should have realized, should have known that there was no way that she couldn't just randomly bump into Lena even in a city as big as National City for a year if she was still living here. Kara just wished she had been given a chance to explain everything, she should have explained everything before it came to this.

Regret pooled in Kara and an aching pain bloomed in her chest and she knew for sure that she wouldn’t live to see forgiveness. There was no way she was going to seek Lena out without her express permission to do so. She should have just told Lena long before this happened. Her soul cracked and scarred, Kara knew she loved Lena even if Lena hated her now.

The rest of this story is actually already posted up on my account at Ko-Fi.com/himemiyahikaru for anyone willing to help support me and keep a roof over my head since I’m a little short on rent money right now because of various life circumstances.

姫宮光る

Chapter 1

There’s No Point Anymore

Never had anything hurt more than the parting words Lena threw in Kara’s face before exiting from Kara’s life permanently, at least it was permanent for a while.

“I hate you, Kara. You are dead to me. I never want to see you again,” Lena spat with such anger in her eyes, disdain in her voice. Kara had never heard Lena so hateful, not even when she spoke of or to her own mother. It felt like someone had shot her in the gut with a Kryptonite laced bullet that went straight through her. Never had she felt such anguish like this in all her life because though the destruction of her planet had been devastating, it had been an almost abstract concept since she had fallen into the phantom zone for 24 years before crash landing right into the Danvers’ lives. Actually, Kara would have preferred a Kryptonite bullet through the brain right about now. That might have hurt less than this unbearable wound bleeding out of her heart, searing into her brain, and seeping underneath her skin, burrowing deeply like a parasite. No, it would definitely have been much less painful if she was shot through the brain with a Kryptonite bullet right now. Perhaps she deserved it if a bullet shot her right now because of the angry, wounded look on Lena’s face.

“Lena, I would apologize a hundred times if I thought that would help make you feel less hurt. I’m apologizing now, however little that means to you right now after … after everything, after lying for so long. There are no words that can express how deeply, sincerely sorry I am that I didn’t tell you sooner, that I didn’t say something when I first realized how much I trust you, how much I care for you and believe in you, Lena.” Kara, paused, taking a deep breath to steel herself to continue talking. “However, I obviously didn’t and now … now it’s probably too late for me to apologize, but I am truly sorry, Lena.”

“Are you done, Supergirl?” Lena asked coldly, a sneer on her face, something Kara had never seen directed at her. It hurt, but it probably didn’t hurt as much as Kara’s massive breach of trust did and Kara couldn’t imagine how much agony Lena was in right now.

Kara’s face fell, tears welling in her eyes that she tried to blink away as she looked at an unmoved Lena, still gazing at her stoically. “I just … want to tell you how sorry I am one more time. Lena, I have never been more remorseful for anything in my life than not telling you the truth the moment I trusted you to keep my secret, the moment I trusted in our friendship.”

“If you’re done, then leave, get the hell out of my office. We’re done talking now.” Lena’s face had smoothed out to show absolutely no emotion, but Kara could smell the saline of her tears in the air as well as hear how her heart pounded with ache. It was difficult to know that she was the reason for all of it, for the way Lena was suffering right now was because she kept listening to everyone else instead of listening to her own heart and telling Lena, NDA forms be damned.

“Okay, Lena … I’ll leave but know that if you … if ever there is a day you might be able to forgive me,” Lena scoffed but didn’t interrupt Kara, “you have my number and know where to find me. Until then … I’ll leave you be Lena. I promise.” Lena didn’t even acknowledge Kara’s words, just gestured for her to fly out of her office through the balcony door before turning around and sitting down in her desk chair. That was the last time Kara would see Lena for nearly two years and not under the best circumstances either.

One year. It had been just over a year since Kara had last seen Lena, last spoken to the love of her life, though she didn’t dare tell Lena that. She might have been a masochist for listening for Lena’s heartbeat any time she was anywhere within her super hearing distance of Lena to listen to that soothing heartbeat … she stopped looking for it after a few months because it wasn’t right for her to do that. Lena wanted space and this was a violation, even if she would never know that Kara had been actively seeking her out in a way only she would be aware of, and she forced herself to stop after two and a half months of listening to that heartbeat with longing.

Today was an exception. Kara hadn’t been the one to think to come over to the LCorp building. In fact, Kara had attempted to talk Snapper out of forcing this particular assignment on her. Nobody had spoken to Lena for an interview in more than half a year and he wanted answers as to why she hadn’t had a public appearance in so long. LCorp was still running even if no one had seen her coming and going from the office, rich people could use private parking in a secure parking garage that required ID to access it after all. Being a CEO also meant being rich enough not to have to worry about not getting a meal delivered or having someone else working get it for you without having to lift a finger to get it yourself, of course. And Kara knew all of those things, so she didn’t have any high hopes of meeting with Lena whatsoever when she went to the top floor in order to meet with Lena.

Upon exiting the elevator, she was greeted by Jess sitting at her usual desk. Before Kara could even open her mouth, Jess was speaking, “Miss Luthor is not in her office at the moment.”

“Okay, but I was supposed to meet with her today in order to interview her for CatCo Magazine,” Kara spoke as if Jess didn’t already know she was a reporter there, but Jess didn’t comment on that and instead gave her a calculating look. “I emailed her directly about this and someone else from LCorp emailed me back to come at this time today.”

Jess sighed, “I emailed you back in Miss Luthor’s place, Miss Danvers. The reason for that is you won’t be able to meet with Miss Luthor to interview her ever again and I wanted to tell you in person so you wouldn’t come in everyday looking for her. Of course, this is off the record because this isn’t an interview.” Kara felt like the earth had suddenly crumbled beneath her feet and nothing was holding her down to the ground. A terrible ache in her chest made itself known as tears sprang to her eyes and heartache bloomed and started throbbing throughout her chest like a plant blooming within the confines of her ribs. “Miss Luthor left more than six months ago. I cannot tell you where she went, only that she made sure no one would be able to find her without her express permission. She is still running LCorp from where she is, which is why no one suspects that she is no longer CEO at the moment.”

Kara felt numb as she nodded blankly, feeling worse than how she had felt when she last spoke to Lena about her betrayal over a year ago, worse than how hollow she had been the following months without contact with her best friend, with the love of her life out of her life for such a long time. “Why are you telling me this?”

Again, Jess looked at her in a calculating way before responding, “I’m only telling you this because I saw, firsthand, how terribly your falling out affected Miss Luthor, how agonizing it was for her to experience such a large breach of trust in someone she trusted more than anyone else in her entire life. Though I don’t know what it was that caused such a rift between the two of you … I know that I watched her become a shell of who she once was. She hardly ever ate or left her office. I’d never seen her more devastated in all of the years I’ve worked for her and I was the one who suggested she leave for her own sake. Miss Luthor didn’t want to leave when I first made a comment about how starting fresh somewhere might help her heal, but she finally agreed with me and now she is somewhere far, far away from where her pain resides.” Jess gave Kara a knowing look. The comment wasn’t meant to hurt her, just point out that living here had been destroying Lena little by little.

“Right then. I’ll just … I’ll be on my way then, Jess. Thank you … thank you for telling me this in person when you didn’t have to … or need to let me know anything at all.” Jess responded by nodding her head and giving her a wave goodbye before getting back to her work, after all an assistant’s job is never done no matter how far away they were from their boss.

The rest of the day Kara was practically useless to Snapper so he sent her home, and it almost seemed like he was moderately concerned with her nearly catatonic state. All he got out of Kara was that Lena hadn’t been in her office. By the time Kara came home she realized that she hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast nearly twelve hours ago but she didn’t feel hungry, not in the slightest. She went to sit down on her couch and curled up into a ball, knees drawn up to her chest, arms wrapped around her knees, and her head resting on her arms, staring blankly ahead, lost in thought. Kara wasn’t sure how much time had passed while she was lost in thoughts of how wrong her life seemed without the possibility of ever having Lena in her life again when the door to her apartment opened and Alex came through with several boxes of pizza stacked high in her arms. If Kara hadn’t been so dazed, she would have marveled in her sister’s talent in being able to carry everything and still unlock the door as someone without superhuman capabilities.

“Hey, Kara, I brought the pizza as promised for sister … night? What’s wrong, Kara?” Alex came over to set the pizza boxes down on the coffee table and immediately wrapped Kara up in her arms, knowing how tactile Kara was when she wanted, or needed in this case, comfort when she was hurting over something. For a long time, Kara was silent, just taking comfort in being in Alex’s arms and warm hug. Kara hadn’t cried yet, nothing had really sunk in yet. The fact that Lena was somewhere she didn’t know and couldn’t possibly hope to find her hadn’t become real yet as she sat in her dark apartment, staring at a picture frame of Lena holding her from behind, exuding happiness in her subtle smile. Alex waited patiently for Kara to find the right words to tell her what was wrong. She knew that Kara sometimes wasn’t sure what she wanted to say yet, how to say what she wanted to say, and so she needed the time to find what she wanted to say to her. “Take your time, sweetie.” Alex kissed her forehead tenderly for a long moment before leaning back, looking Kara in the eye when she made a noise.

“She’s gone, Alex, and I’ll probably never see her again.” Alex furrowed her brows but remembered why she had come over to Kara’s apartment in the first place: Lena Luthor. Kara had excitedly told her that Lena had accepted an interview with her for earlier today and Alex insisted that she should come over after she was done at work so that she could bring celebratory pizza over or consolation pizza if things didn’t go as planned with the interview. “Jess, her assistant,” as if Alex didn’t know who she was from the various times she had gone to Lena’s office over the years, “was actually the one who emailed me in Lena’s place to accept the meeting to … to tell me in person that Lena left the country a long time ago. Maybe she felt bad for me or just knew that I would keep coming if Lena never answered. I’m not sure, but she said that the reason she asked me to come in person was so that I wouldn’t come by the office everyday looking for her because she’s not in the same state, let alone same country anymore, from how she said it anyways since she never specified if Lena was still in the country or not. Just said that she was … far, far away from here … from me.”

“Oh, Kara. Come here.” Alex felt Kara bury her face into her neck, finally shedding tears at the finality of the whole situation, of the realization that Lena never wanted to see her face again and she truly meant it. There was no way to fix this, no way to make things better without Lena coming back and telling Kara that she had forgiven her, that they could be friends again, or at the very least that she would be in the same city as her even if she never spoke to her again in an unofficial capacity. Being acquaintances would be better than not being anything to each other at all. Kara’s thoughts just spiraled from there. Nothing was going to make any of this okay again. After that Kara didn’t speak another word for the rest of the night, hardly even touched the pizza, much to Alex’s dismay and concern.

It had been months since Kara had discovered that Lena had moved out of the city to someplace Kara would never know. Days all blended together, weeks sped by while she felt like she wasn’t moving at all, and before Kara even knew it, it had been four months since she found out that Lena made sure Kara would never see her by accident on the street, while shopping for groceries, just doing something in public where they could bump into each other by pure luck. Kara hardly ate, barely slept, and stopped going out with her friends. Why eat when everything was tasteless, why sleep when she was haunted by her dreams, though being awake was like living a nightmare she couldn’t escape, and why try to enjoy life when life was meaningless? It was unanimously decided that game night wasn’t game night without Kara after the sixth time Kara failed to show up or participate with any sense of enthusiasm if she showed up. Just looking at her compared to how effervescent she was before was more than just disheartening, it was downright depressing. Things just hadn’t been the same since Kara found out that Lena moved away to get away from her, to take any and all chances of them reconciling away and disappearing out of Kara’s life permanently.

Ever since Kara discovered Lena had left she had been taking more and more risks, in fact everything she did was without the slightest hint of caution or sense in order to stop natural disasters, crime, or unknown alien threats. Kara went into every fight recklessly, was hungover or drunk on rare occasions when something happened while she was at home drinking her weight in her favorite alien liquors and drowning in her misery. Alex had had enough of watching her sister destroy herself and finally exploded after one time too many. “Why are you doing this to yourself Kara?”

Kara smiled hollowly, “because there’s no point anymore.” Alex had wanted to question what she meant but she was pretty sure the answer was something she wouldn’t be able to stomach if she questioned Kara about her comment. Alex resolved to find Lena by any means necessary and would do it with or without the DEOs permission and resources if she had to for Kara’s sake. Nothing was going to stop her from finding that damn Luthor, nothing.

Kara hadn’t been the same since she found out Lena had left National City. Every time she left for a mission, Alex couldn’t help but worry it would be the last time she saw her sister alive and well, physically at least. There was no doubt that Kara was mentally, emotionally broken inside, psychologically scarred in a way Alex couldn’t hope to heal her. And though Alex couldn’t blame Lena for leaving, she could blame Lena for not coming back, for not telling Kara in person that she was leaving and never coming back, something at least that wouldn’t have broken Kara so much at the loss of her deepest friendship and, though Kara hadn’t told her, the love of her life. Though Kara had broken her trust, Kara shouldn’t have to die in order to be forgiven, should she? Should anyone? No, there was no way Lena could be so cruel. She had to find Lena no matter what. It had already been two months of this destructive behavior and Alex couldn’t watch her sister kill herself any longer. Alex was going to find Lena even if it took weeks, months, or years to find her wherever she was hiding out.

Alex recruited Winn to find Lena’s trail because there was no way for her to hide all technological traces, even if she was a genius multi-billionaire with nearly limitless resources. Winn was her best shot (no pun intended) at finding Lena before it was too late, before Kara succeeded in killing herself and justifying it as a heroic death instead of what it truly was: suicide. It was frustrating the first two months having no progress because Lena was damn good at hiding her transactions from all of those months ago when she left. Being that it had been nearly a year since she left it was even harder than if the trail had been fresh. Almost everything Alex and Winn looked into turned into a dead end with false dummy interactions and set ups to lead anyone trying to find her astray into multiple promising looking clues that turned out to be nothing. It was almost as if Lena had disappeared entirely off the face of the earth and Alex was starting to wonder if Lena had somehow gone to a different earth parallel to theirs with some kind of invention when Winn finally found a lead two months after they first started looking without Kara even being that curious about what they were doing. Just a curious inquiry about what they were constantly talking about these days and an acceptance when the answers weren’t very forthcoming. Alex nearly cried in frustration and pain at her sister’s lackluster response and general despondence becoming so common. She shouldn’t be this way, shouldn’t be so indifferent to everything going on around her like she was merely a spectator to her own life and those in her life. One glance at Winn told her that Winn agreed wholeheartedly.

They started working even harder to figure out where the hell Lena had gone to stump everyone out of finding her location. It had been a grueling two months to find something promising that wasn’t a complete waste of time being a dummy account or transaction to fend off potential enemies looking for Lena for them to have something that gave them both a spark of hope that they would find her yet for Kara’s sake. Kara didn’t look like herself anymore, blonde hair no longer shining like it used to because of how much sun she would take in, her skin looked pale, she looked tired, and thin, so utterly thin and small compared to how larger than life she had been prior to her finding out about Lena. Even when Kara had initially had her falling out with Lena it hadn’t been this bad. Sure, Kara had lost her appetite for about two weeks before realizing that it wasn’t how she should look at things if she wanted to fix her mistake. Kara had taken to giving Lena space and hoping that after some time they could start talking and build their friendship back up from scratch, start over again. The thought of a fresh start gave Kara treacherous hope before Lena snatched that away effectively by ensuring they would never see each other again by disappearing out of Kara’s life, permanently.

What started off as a little clue that didn’t turn out to be nothing became something more, something that felt like the beginning of salvation, a way to save Alex’s sister, to save Winn’s best friend. It was another two months before they found something even more solid, something better than a slight trace that might lead to Lena eventually, considering how long it had taken them to find a mere bread crumb of a clue. Losing hope was the only way they wouldn’t find Lena, so after more than four months, Alex and Winn were becoming more and more sure of the fact that Lena was somewhere in Asia that was extremely remote. Being half a world away was the farthest she could have possibly gone in order to avoid Kara after all. It took another two weeks to narrow it down to an isolated part of China that was mostly countryside but not too far from the city. Alex gave Winn a hug when he figured out what it was Lena had done, how she had been able to avoid detection so well that it took them four and a half months just figure out that Lena hadn’t, in fact, just moved away from the city. She had in fact used someone else to camouflage her movement and hidden herself somewhere in the middle of nowhere that wasn’t too far from civilization. It was certain that Lena wasn’t living with whomever her camouflage friend was, based on the camera footage he could find of her only occasionally appearing at said person’s residence, she just used the address for important pieces of mail that was forwarded to the address somehow by Jess to the person who was most likely a relative of hers. The whole thing was ingenious and Alex would have admired such a sneaky tactic if it hadn’t been used as a way to escape Kara and avoid their problems without giving Kara a say about whether she would ever be forgiven for lying to Lena for just over two years of friendship.

Either way, Alex had finally managed to track Lena down with Winn’s help and she wasn’t going to waste another second in the DEO without planning a way to make it to China within the next week to save Kara from herself. Getting a few days off from J’onn wasn’t difficult since he knew what she was doing when she asked him to clear her work schedule for a few days in order to do what she needed to do.

Alex had never thought about how long flying to a country half the world away would take but, damn, she had been on the airplane for twelve hours to get to South Korea with a layover of only two hours, which wasn’t terrible, and then had to fly another four hours to the airport closest to Lena’s assistant’s sister’s apartment. Thinking that always gave Alex a bit of a headache because there were so many possessives all in one thought. Alex was just so happy to finally be off of the airplane and moving towards her goal to finding Lena. Reaching out to Jess’ sister would have alerted Lena in advance so, Alex decided to just drop in as soon as possible after settling into her hotel and finding some mode of transportation that would be inexpensive for her but also convenient. She was a little nervous now that she was here, that she was this close to fixing Kara, to the person who held the key to making Kara feel better. Every minute since she left the airport after getting a taxi was a bit nerve wracking, in a good way. After she settled into her hotel room, she paced around the limited space within the room, coming up with a game plan. She had made sure to calculate every step of the way from the how long the flights and layovers were down to how long it would take from with a taxi to the hotel she was staying at. Everything was calculated and now she needed to think of a way to approach Isla, Jess’ sister, without alarming her. Perhaps the truth might help, but it had a chance of hindering her chances instead if Isla knew all of the circumstances that lead to Lena hiding away.

Then again, if Alex was dishonest then she would lose all chances of even seeing Lena for a single moment. No, she would be brutally honest and appeal to Isla’s love for her own sister to get her to see that Alex only wanted to save Kara from herself and give Lena a chance to come back and clear the air with Kara hopefully. That’s all she wanted. Yes, that would be her best bet at getting Isla to allow Alex to talk to Lena about coming back.

Mind made up, Alex went downstairs to ask about the bus system here, since it was much cheaper than taking the bullet train instead, and went on her way to Isla’s apartment. The whole ride there she planned out what she wanted to say to her. It wasn’t hard to think of the words, to reach inside and honestly think about how hard it was to see her sister suffering from heartache. Before Alex knew it, she had reached the stop closest to Isla’s apartment and started walking to the apartment, a fifteen-minute walk according to her GPS.

Before Alex was entirely ready she was standing before a very well built and beautiful condominium that was definitely paid for by an extremely wealthy person. It just reeked of money, more money than even those with higher end jobs could afford to pay. The outside looked simple enough, like a regular condominium for someone with an extremely well paying job, but there were little things that Alex knew to look for that it made it obvious it was worth several million dollars such as the gated entryway, the higher end security unit used to gain access, the somewhat hidden security cameras, and a few other things that made it worth more than it looked without noticing such details upon first glance. Alex hesitated, unsure of how to approach in order to gain access until she noticed something that looked like an intercom to buzz into the apartments. Upon seeing that, Alex took a deep breath to steel herself before walking the few steps over to the intercom and pressing the one to indicate she wanted to talk to Huang, Isla and even the first buzz caused nerves to eat away at Alex as she waited. Finally, after four rings, someone answered, hopefully it was Isla and not someone else who might possibly run away if she was there right now and realized Alex was here too early.

“Hello?” a voice asked.

“Um, hi, is this Isla by any chance?” Alex inquired in response, just to be sure.

“Yes, this is she. Whom am I speaking to?” she replied back.

“My name is Alex Danvers and I was hoping you could help me with something important. I’d rather not say over the intercom what it is, but it is regarding someone you know about someone important to me.” There was silence for several seconds and every second Alex held her breath until she heard the intercom come back to life.

“I have a feeling I know what this is about, but come on in.” With that she heard the unusually pleasant-sounding ring that allowed her entrance, something that was paid for by the rich people who reside here no doubt. Walking in, she walked to the appropriate condominium unit and knocked tentatively. After just a moment the door opened to reveal someone who looked relatively similar to Jess. Isla motioned for Alex to come in and said, “shoes off please,” as she walked further into the condominium towards a spacious living room area that looked homey. There were several picture frames on a mantle area near the couch showing Isla with various family members, one of just Isla and Jess smiling together on a beach, and one even had a picture of Lena with the sisters. The one with Lena and the sisters looked like it had been taken at an event they had all attended because of how well dressed they all were. Alex was broken out of her musings by Isla’s voice. “So, you wanted to talk, right?” Her voice was hesitant though not entirely unkind.

“Right, yes. My name is Alex, as I stated, and I wanted to talk to you about my sister, Kara.” Isla seemed unsurprised by that fact, but nodded for Alex to go on, seemingly willing to listen to her plead her case. “Okay, so I’m not sure if you know, though I highly doubt that you wouldn’t know about this, that my sister had a falling out with Lena nearly two years ago now. They haven’t spoken in all of that time, nor seen each other. Kara tried to give Lena space to heal and didn’t try to see her in person for over a year before your sister told her what Lena had done, that Lena had left National City entirely. That was kind of her to do that instead of leaving Kara coming back everyday and hoping Lena will eventually meet her without knowing that Lena hasn’t been in National City since long before her first attempt to see her in person.” Isla nodded along, listening to Alex intently and that gave Alex a spark of hope that things might actually turn out better than she had thought it would. Optimism had never been her strong suit, everyone knew Kara was the ray of hope and as positive as sunshine after all. “So, ever since she found out that Lena left without a word she has become … a danger to herself in every way possible. Before this she had only ever gotten drunk a few times in her life but now she has shown up to work either hungover still or drunk once when there was a work emergency just enough times for it to be disconcerting though not entirely out of line. And not only that, but she is now extremely careless and has been putting herself in tremendous danger. She has not gone a week without being seen for various injuries for more than three days in the last eight months. Ever since she found out Lena left she hasn’t really smiled much, she never seems like she’s there when she shows up to hang out with friends, but most of all … I think she’s trying to kill herself whether it is intentional or not, whether she realizes that that is what she’s doing or not. I’m scared that one day I’m going to get a call that my sister didn’t make it, that she died saving someone else’s life. Suicide dressed up as a heroic act instead. I don’t know for sure, but that’s the scariest part. The way she’s been acting, I can’t help but fear that she is in fact suicidal and it hurts knowing that nothing I’ve said or done has helped.”

Isla swallowed hard and gave Alex a few moments to compose herself, tears having gathered in her eyes before she couldn’t hold them back anymore, too distraught over the thought of her sister succeeding one day. After Alex calmed down a bit, Isla finally spoke up. “What is it that you want from me exactly, Alex?”

“All I want is to tell Lena that she might not have a chance to talk to Kara and fix their friendship if that’s what she wants to do before Kara manages to kill herself in some act of heroism. If she doesn’t want to live with that regret then she better let me talk to her and let her know where things stand right now.” Alex’s voice was strong this time, despite the sorrow still coating her heavy eyes.

“How about I make you a cup of tea and we can sit at the table while we wait for Lena then?” Alex couldn’t believe her ears and she was sure her jaw was hanging from the shock of hearing those words.

“Of course. Thank you.” Isla simply smiled and hoped she was doing the right thing by everyone involved.

#supercorp #angst #au #slow burn #soulmate #fanfic #post reveal

3 notes · View notes

clexaisheretostay · 5 years

Text

Save Me From Myself

Summary: It’s been months since Lena found out about Kara lying through Lex and Kara had known something was wrong between them afterwards. Lena had made every excuse under the sun to avoid her since and Kara wasn’t dumb, she knew, she suspected the reason for Lena’s recent behavior. Now, nearly half a year since their relationship became so strained Lena hadn’t seen Kara in half that time, Kara lands on Lena’s balcony after solar flaring and being shot out of the sky by a sniper ready for her. Blood smeared everywhere and Kara didn’t have the strength to move as Lena came rushing over to a dying Kara.

Will Lena ever forgive Kara when her life isn’t in danger? If she’s on her death bed, is that the only time Lena will willingly see her, Kara wonders as she lays on the ground with a pale Lena trying to get her to safety behind her bulletproof office windows. Maybe they could have been more if she had just told Lena her secret and her feelings, instead of this limbo they were in. Lena saving Kara’s life while Kara was trying so hard to stay dead, to linger in a state near death.

I decided to post this angsty post reveal fic with a because I’m a freaking masochist. Let me know what you all think. Song for this fic by Sistar is https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3U_H3dt4hWg Please give it a listen because their vocals are amazing and sets the tone for the entire chapter so freaking well. Also, if anyone is willing to donate to help support me since I’m seriously short on rent money please support me at Ko-Fi.com/himemiyahikaru

姫宮光る

Chapter 1

I Just Miss You

My days without you, I can’t focus on anything

Never, no more

Even if I regret it, everything is over

I don’t even have the confidence to turn this around

You kindly come to me and shake me again

Oh no, oh no

Stop holding onto my heart

Only looking at you and crying for you seems foolish

Oh no, oh no

This is not love

Six months since Lena had started acting strange. No, not strange really. Just plain old avoiding Kara’s every call, text, and surprise visits that ended up not being a visit. Visits implied you were seen by the person you were trying to actually see. It implied you had spent some amount of time together. Despite being best friends … Lena and Kara had not spent more than an hour with each other since Lena started avoiding her and giving reasons for why she couldn’t see Kara. Kara’s chest ached when she thought about it too long, her lungs felt stuck with emotion, and her eyes became wet no matter how hard she tried not to let it show. The disappointment was slowly turning into painful understanding. She had waited too long and either someone else had told Lena or Lena had figured it out on her own at this point. And it hurt so much to realize that all of the wasted chances she’d had over the years meant losing the one person who meant the most to her outside of her family … well, Lena had been family at one point. Kara was probably enemy number one now instead of the person Lena would turn to for comfort any time something happened and shook her world like Jack’s passing, Lillian’s betrayal, and the countless other things that had happened to her.

Love, I pretend that I’m fine

That I don’t love you even though I do

I can’t do it

Crying, crying

Love, I try to take it back

But you’re already gone

I’m endlessly

Crying, crying

Kara took a shaky breath and looked around at her empty apartment. There were no more game nights without Lena because she was her perfect partner during every game night … until she left. And no more movie nights unless Alex came over and forcibly fed Kara food while attempting to watch the horror movies that they used to just love making fun of for poor plots or dumb decisions. No, nothing was the same without Lena there. Food tasted like the ashes of her home planet, colors looked dull without Lena’s beauty to appreciate things and make everything more beautiful and brighter, living was the same as being dead when you found you had nothing to find any amount of joy in doing.

I open my eyes and after coming to my sense,

You’re not here

I rub my eyes and look around, but you’re not here

I close my eyes again and open them

But still,

You’re not here

I thought I would be fine without you

But I keep looking back at our memories

Tears and memories spill out as if I’m vomiting

Everything is over, stop, for you and for me

Would Lena ever come back here again? It was a miserable existence without Lena to make everything better in Kara’s life. Even pot stickers tasted better when they were from Lena. Now everything was bland and muted, like a world without color, sound, and everything was tasteless, a world in which she could only perceive things through touch alone. It made her life feel worse than dull. She’d prefer it if her life were just boring rather than this world of grief because she was grieving, grieving the end of the relationship she had with the person she loved more than anything in the world. The one person who had made her better. Kara would give anything to get it all back, to get Lena to come back and be with her again.

No one at work suspected a thing was wrong because Kara still left for her supposed hour-long lunch breaks, but just spent the time writing her articles above the clouds where no one could see her if she occasionally broke down crying where no one could see her even with a telescope or binoculars. When she came back from supposedly eating, no one would bat an eyelash at her, give her a second look to see her eyes were just a bit puffy, and she made sure that her eyes were no longer red-rimmed and that none of her makeup was running. Having glasses to hide behind had never been so convenient.

And then something else added to her stress. It had been a long time coming though. Kara was asked to go interview Lena about some new technology unfolding. Despite Kara’s assertions that someone else might be better suited, Snapper insisted she go since she was friends with Lena. Kara had almost broken down and just said that he forgot to add that she had been Lena’s friend and that it was no longer the case at the moment. She almost said that they hadn’t even spoken directly for over three months now. But no, she held her tongue and requested an interview with Lena through Jess. Surprisingly, Lena had accepted apparently and the entire time had been stilted and restricted to work-related topics only. Kara hadn’t been surprised by that. And then as Kara was getting up to leave, feeling cold inside even though she had never experienced cold on earth before, Lena asked if she was feeling okay because she looked a little pale and thinner than Lena remembered.

With the fakest smile Kara had ever given anyone she said she was fine. That smile wobbled and cracked like Kara’s heart. Kara wasn’t sure if Lena had meant to say it out loud, but Kara heard it, the single word that reminded her of happier times between them, “liar,” she’d said. But this time, it wasn’t under the same context as when she’d been grief baking two years ago. Kara pretended she hadn’t heard that more than likely slipup and told Lena goodbye. She left before Lena could say anything else and felt an unusual throbbing in her chest when she turned her back on Lena and practically flew out the building with how quickly she was walking away. Kara spared a single second to tell Jess to have a nice day over her shoulder before the door had even slammed shut with her haste. It was probably obvious she wasn’t quite human with how quickly she had moved to the elevator but, again, why did Kara care if either of these people knew her secret now? Lena obviously knew and Jess had probably suspected for some time because of how many times Kara had done something slightly less than human.

You kindly come to me and shake me again

Oh no, oh no

Stop holding onto my heart

Only looking at you and crying for you seems so foolish

Oh no, oh no

This is not love

Only Alex knew the reason why Kara was so desolate and despondent. James and Winn had obviously noticed the less than chipper Kryptonian but neither knew why Kara was the way she was and she didn’t have the strength to say the words out loud, that the relationship that had fulfilled her for years had come to a horrible end. No, saying something like that out loud would only make it real. Doing something that outwardly acknowledged it made it reality instead of something she could pretend was make believe. A nightmare only she was awake. The opposite of the Black Mercy, Red Mercy. Perhaps that would have been a lovely explanation for this. But no, it wasn’t the Red Mercy, it was Kara’s actions, or lack thereof. She knew it was her own fault she was experiencing this nightmare. If Kara could live in the world of the Black Mercy and die right now … she would. She’d take it over this pain.

Love, I pretend that I’m fine

That I don’t love you even though I do

I can’t do it

Crying, crying

Love, I try to take it all back

But you’re already gone

I’m endlessly

Crying, crying

Kara Danvers, synonymous to sunshine in Kryptonian form to those who knew her true identity was now more like the blackest night, no moon to reflect the light of the sun at night on earth’s surface. No more. Even though Kara hadn’t confirmed Lena’s reasons for becoming so distant, she had overheard it by accident one day when she had gone to talk to Lena after the first week of suffering near radio silence. “Never again will I trust you, Kara Danvers. I’ll never let you in again.” That had been the catalyst for Kara to begin to almost frantically reach out to her only to be pushed away even more than before, as if Lena knew what Kara was trying to do and she wanted nothing to do with her anymore. Perhaps there was more truth to that than Kara realized. Every call unanswered, every text message ignored, every attempt at a visit rejected, and the biggest surprise was that Lena hadn’t banned Kara from the office. Maybe that was just to keep things professional.

No, I’m not the me that I used to know

I know this is just a part of life

But every time I breathe

I hate you

What was life anyways? A collection of moments with those you come to care about as they fill your life with meaning? What was life when that meaning was taken away like it meant nothing at all to the other person then? Did life have any true meaning without someone to share it with? Life without Lena was meaningless to Kara now that she would never have her love again. It didn’t matter if they stayed friends forever.

I can’t sleep all night and I try to comfort myself

Saying it’s alright

But I can’t help it, I can’t take it back

I only have regrets that are too late

Deep bags were accruing under Kara’s eyes as she tossed and turned every night. She couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat, couldn’t smile genuinely. Was this what it meant to be sick? She had never experienced a human illness so she hadn’t experienced illness in nearly two decades. The closest she’d gotten to feeling sick was when Kryptonite was involved, but that was more of a poison than legitimate illness. Kara wouldn’t even care if someone had some Kryptonite and stabbed her clean through the chest with it right now. It would have been a relief from this bland life. No, it wasn’t even bland, it was just pointless now. What was her life without Lena? Everything Alex had done brought no comfort to the devastated person Kara had become.

I don’t mind so don’t cry

Love, you were different, you changed me

Now I think I know everything

No matter how much I push and shove you away

Only looking at you and crying for you seems so foolish

Everything about life had become heightened with Lena as a bright spot in her life and so the high ended with Lena leaving her. It was a worse crash than a drug addicted after they lost their high and needed more drugs to fulfill them again. Her first high was meeting Lena, her addiction was not being able to go a day without seeing her, and her crash left her in her lonely misery. Kara wasn’t sure when Alex was going to stop trying. She might never stop. But Kara couldn’t even feel it. Nothing was the same without Lena. Love had given her life more meaning than she knew was possible. So life without Lena was pointless. Life had no meaning without her.

Love, you were different, you changed me

Now I think I know everything

No matter how much I push and shove you away

You are my everything that can’t leave me

I wanna go back

I couldn’t love anyone but you

Anyone who knew Kara well would be able to see how much love had changed her. She had been content in life before, so she was happy and so bright. And then Lena came into her life looking like an angel on this earth. Everything became so much more with her there. And she felt true happiness then. She experienced euphoria and became exuberant. If anyone thought she had been a ray of sunshine before, it was nothing compared to her after Lena showed up and made Kara feel more than she thought was even possible.

When she dated Mon-El, it was with the thought that Lena didn’t see her that way. But she was still in her life and her rock, her gravity, her center. Every day without her was another day less than worth living for. How could Kara survive this long without that light in her life? Kara was surprised she hadn’t died yet from this heartbreak.

Everyday was dark and just as miserable as the last no matter how hard Alex tried to help her through. Nothing would ever be okay again. Not without her angel next to her and making her see light in everything. Alex had tried to joke that she thought she was the pessimist between them. Kara didn’t even smile. Just looked on blankly before saying “funny,” like she meant anything but that word. Alex was never going to stop, she was never going to give up on her sister but she was beyond frustrated and worried about this version of Kara dropping dead.

In a bid to figure out what exactly caused them to fall apart, Alex had gone to see Lena only to see that she didn’t seem to be doing much better than Kara was. Every question was answered with a non-answer, adding to Alex’s worry and utter frustration. She was at her wit’s end. Looking back on it, Alex realized that Lena must know the truth because she had been so cold. Honestly, Lena could have been worse. Probably knew that it wasn’t Alex’s place to tell her someone else’s secret, even if it was her sister’s secret. Lena hadn’t been cruel, just curt and evasive. That was so like her though, locking her feelings away in fucking little boxes.

Was there anything Alex could do to fix her sister’s broken life? Her broken heart wasn’t going to mend without Lena’s intervention. Lena was just as heartbroken and Alex didn’t know if she could do anything about that.

Kara’s powers blew out because these fucking Cadmus agents decided that having every alien weapon possible would have some desired effect on her eventually. There was some merit to that because it increased their chances of finding something that would work on her eventually. And it did work in sapping her of her strength and speed. She could still fly somehow and she used the last of her powers to get away when she was shot. Pain she had never felt before caused her to fall right out of the sky and, in a twist of fucking fate, right onto Lena’s balcony. She caused a loud thud as gravity pulled her down to earth. Kara must have passed out because the next moment she felt herself being dragged somewhere and she didn’t resist, wondering if those people were trying to finish her.

“Rao, in your light I was created and, in your light, I will go from this planet I was not born on,” Kara said, sounding weak in Kryptonese.

“Don’t you dare die Kara Danvers.”

“Let me go,” Kara’s voice was barely audible.

“Kara Danvers. Don’t you dare give up your life like this, do you hear me, Kara? Kara! Fuck!”

She must have blacked out again because the next moment she was somewhere that felt like a strong ray of sunlight but she couldn’t bring herself to open her eyes. If this was the afterlife … she was ready for her death. Rao was waiting for her to come back to him. Her father, Aunt Astra, Uncle Non … her lost Kryptonian family … they were waiting for her to come back. Even though she was still angry with Non, the after life was for forgiveness of all sins while you were alive, right?

“Wake the fuck up!” Was that Alex’s voice?

Kara wasn’t sure what she was doing in Rao’s light. Did Alex die too? Her heartbeat started going crazy and she felt herself slipping out of consciousness again when a warm hand touched her neck, pressing into her pulse and it warmed Kara, soothed her distraught, dying soul.

Alex was pacing back and forth where Kara lay, still a bloody mess from the gunshot wound that had punctured her through her stomach and cracked several ribs. Everything was a fucking mess and Lena was working through different treatments to make sure Kara didn’t die. Dr. Hamilton had removed the bullet and Alex had been sick when the woman had done it to an essentially human Kara. She held back the bile powered through what needed to be done to save her sister’s life as Lena did the same. Alex had been surprised with Lena’s urgent phone call but less so when she realized that Lena had an injured Kara with her somehow. None of the details mattered as long as Kara didn’t fucking die.

When had things become so fucked up? Alex continued pacing as she looked for things that might help her nearly dead sister.

#supercorp #fanfic #angst #au #slow burn #post reveal

4 notes · View notes