draconicmindandsoul

[draconicmindandsoul]

[draconicmindandsoul]

https://swfhr.org/shw23/

PLEASE SPREAD LIKE WILDFIRE!

I volunteer here, and I love this boy. Everyone at the sanctuary is devastated. Please Spread this everywhere especially if you’re in horse circles in florida.  More information, sharable links via facebook can be found on the south west florida horse rescue website. Also here Please spread to everywhere help bring our boy home!

[draconicmindandsoul]

I remember it all too well...

A year ago today you changed my life.

I don’t even remember it all.

I remember you packing things into your green pokemon backpack I gave you for your birthday. I remember you saying all kinds of things it all morphs. How it was you and not me... then how it was me and not you. What was it? You bastard why did I love you so hard? A year later why do you still have the power to hurt me. Because I remember,  I remember all the pain. But I remember your smile, the comfort you gave me. I remember the moments you were tender and kind. I remember our laughs. Our silly adventures. I remember our first date. I remember the time we got in a car accident, the time went to disney...

The time we made love for the first time. The time we moved in together. I remember celebrating with you and being there for when you cried. I remember caring for you for when you were sick. Or popping a zit on your back. I remember your voice and how it lifted me up. Your pets names for me and when you’d tease me in a loving way. I remember when we’d get angry at something or get disgusted at something. Our in-jokes, our hugs, our kisses, The times we tired something new.Our eskimo kisses. Our silent nights and how I’d look at you as you slept. How I thought how lucky I was to be with you. I remember the positive memories. I remember those more than the negative ones.

Thats what hurts more than anything. Those positive memories haunting me. Knowing full well that I will never re-live those again. That those will never happen again. Had I known our last night together would be so abrupt. I would’ve savored it like a drop of water in the desert. All I wanted for months after you left me.... All I wanted was to hear your voice again. Hear for just one more time... one more hear you call me by anyone of my cute nicknames. hear I love you... one last time.

even now a year later I wish secretly I could have one last day with you. One more day to say goodbye. My last chance to hold you close and be embraced. I want you to know how much I loved you... how deep it went. I may never love like that again.

I’m sorry that you feel I failed you. I tried. I want you to be happy. Thats all I wanted. I hope with me out of your life you’ve found that happiness.

[draconicmindandsoul]

I miss him and what we had still I feel to proud to admit

A year later and my body betrays me

I don’t want him back

But I can’t ignore that I miss him and the memories

god how they sting still

sometimes I still wonder what I am even doing....

I should just be untouchable.

but god it feels so good to admit.

I miss him so much. Yet not having him in my life is relieving

what shitty drug addiction was he?

The regret the loss the grief....

life I suppose

[draconicmindandsoul]

[draconicmindandsoul]

[draconicmindandsoul]

Dissociation

Re-posting because I didn’t like the last edit.

#traumacore #CPTSD #PTSD #actually traumatized #derealization #dissociation

[draconicmindandsoul]

Disassociation

all of it I see the past….. I feel the past.

Its all very alive and real for me…every goddamned day.

#actually traumatized #traumacore #PTSD #CPTSD #derealisation #dissociation #actual ptsd #trauma #memories #really proud of this #this idea has been in my head for a long time and I am just excited I finally got to express it.

[draconicmindandsoul]

#traumacore #actuallytraumatized #PTSD #CPTSD #anger #beast #blood #gore tw #trauma core #don't fucking tell me to fucking forgive anyone #don't fucking tell me to forgive my abusers #fuck you #you don't fucking know me

[draconicmindandsoul]

#trauma core #traumacore #its bothering me Its agitated

[draconicmindandsoul]

Frankenstein by Mary Shelley

Text ID:

I have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine and rage the likes of which you would not believe. If I cannot satisfy the one, I will indulge the other.

[draconicmindandsoul]

[draconicmindandsoul]

[draconicmindandsoul]

#truama mention #traumacore #actually traumatized #PTSD #dissociation #cptsd #destruction #Been struggling I need to find a therapist really soon #hurricane Ian really took out some of my mental health #its been hard living here in som way #I remember sandy #I know bad #its been hurting me #I wish I can live in my dissociation land forever.

[draconicmindandsoul]

I wish I can just horde and have all the loves in my life together

I’d feel whole and happy

I do miss my exs

I do love the boyfriend I have now even if I feel like I’m not enough

I wish they were all together

Sucks life can’t be so

[draconicmindandsoul]

I feel like I don’t deserve your love,

I care for you

But it’s not the same love I had in the past

I feel broken and leading you on because I’m not matching the passion and love I have in the past

It makes me so sad

I still think about my ex a lot I still feel chained to him in a way

I can’t stop loving him

Feels hard to start loving you

I’m so afraid I won’t have that same passion

When you deserve it

I’m so afraid of being left

You say you won’t but I’ve been told that

You say you love me and I’m the best and you can’t live with out me

I’ve been told that…

I feel so broken and I’m so sorry

[draconicmindandsoul]

because I haven't seen a whole heap of decent information about this... I thought I'd do a beginner's guide to dissociation

disorders that can cause dissociation include:

DID

OSDD

PTSD

depression

OCD

BPD

DPDR

anxiety

eating disorders

some people also experience dissociation due to chronic pain

being dissociated can feel like, but is not limited to:

feeling disconnected from the world

feeling "blurry", "buzzy", "foggy", or "out of it"

not feeling any emotions

not feeling any physical pain

not remembering whole periods of time

feeling like you're floating outside of your body

your brain constantly going in and out of focus

dissociation is generally broken down into two categories:

derealisation: the feeling that the world around you is unreal, foggy, or just out of reach

depersonalisation: the feeling of being outside of yourself, or of not feeling real

I hope this is a helpful post, and that I've made people more aware of what dissociation actually is. if you have any follow-up questions, please feel free to ask!