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[eg-writtenthoughts]

Review: The Family Next Door by John Glatt

Like most true crime cases, ‘The Family Next Door’ is a dark story. Anyone easily triggered by discussions of child abuse and neglect, I urge you not to read this book. 

This review, as most of mine, are a compilation of my thoughts and unofficially educated opinions from the case. I take the decades of true crime observations and make potentially obvious connections to the facts put forward. I agree it’s a jumble but helpful if you’re considering this book or want a peek into the case if you’re unfamiliar.

‘The Family Next Door’ is about the horrible abuses that 13 children faced behind closed doors, inflicted by their parents, Louise and David Turpin. From the beginning, rang bells of similarity to Gabriel Fernandez and his murder. Like the eight-year-old child, the growing thirteen Turpin children were kept away from the public but there were multiple chances for them to be saved if only people took their heads out of the sand. For neighbors, watching a dozen children pacing their house throughout the entire night, every night: What the hell did you think they were doing? You had enough brain cells to know those were children. You knew enough to go “huh that’s weird”.For the few teachers that Jennifer (the eldest child) had, a very dirty child was in your presence every day: Why weren’t there phone calls to the police? Where was your natural desire to give a shit for a child that obviously needed it? Unlike Gabriel’s case, no one died, but years of abuse could’ve been stopped. For anyone reading this who sees something suspicious or concerning repeatedly with children: it’s okay to call the police. The worst that could happen is you inconvenience them. The best is that you save a child.

The term “House of Horrors” is used to discuss this case. It’s not an original term and maybe it’s because I’ve seen it in other cases that I hate it’s been reused here. The most notable was for the 2013 case of Michelle Knight, Amanda Berry, and Gina DeJesus, who were held captive for eleven years. I won’t name their abuser. He doesn’t deserve it. But through some of the worst abuse I’ve ever heard and for all three of them to survive, “House of Horrors” fits. Maybe it has to do with my natural need to rank things in my brain.

I was familiar with this case. I was a teenager when the news broke. I couldn’t remember the details that were released. The abuse of thirteen children (ranging from 2 to 29 at the time of rescue) was senseless and uncomfortable. We’re used to hearing about sexual abuse and more vicious physical abuse. Yes, the Turpin children were physically abused and I take nothing away from their ability to survive. To build an image, it was repetitive “small” abuses that left children scared of their parents, probably waiting for someone to blow their gasket. Like when Louise Turpin (the main perpetrator of abuse in California) blew up, choking her daughter, Jordan and threatened her life for watching a Justin Bieber video.

If you’re familiar with what can lead to people committing crime, there are moments in a personal history where you can almost pinpoint the brain trauma or what leads to their future path. Louise Turpin, the children’s mother, was sexually abused by her maternal grandfather, John, her entire young life. She kept herself acting as his main target, shielding her younger sisters. It’s said that Louise had maternal behaviour with her younger sisters. Her mother, Phillis, was given money by her father for allowing the assaults. The girls knew their mother was being paid, being prostituted to their grandfather. When Louise was 14, her grandmother walked in during the abuse and in anger, delivered a blow to her husband’s head with a frying pan. This leads to the pair divorcing but you have to look at the situation with a question mark. It’s a logical assumption that her husband had abused their own daughters. So was she that naive to have never noticed or did she just ignore it? 

Transitioning from the sexual abuse, Louise was groomed from the age of ten by David Turpin, eight years her junior. He admits to first being attracted to her at that age. Just to make it blunt, David was eighteen. At her age of fifteen, they ran away and eloped. The couple wouldn’t return to their hometown until her parents promised not to press charges against David. Louise’s father, originally against the idea of his daughter dating a man, gave her up without a fight. Louise was repeatedly thrown to the wolves in her childhood. What made it worse was those wolves were supposed to be her protectors. It’s no wonder her concept of love was warped from such a young age.

The childhood of David Turpin was unremarkable other than his odd haircut, choice of clothing, and his extreme intellect that led to well paying jobs. His family was generational high within the church and that influence showed in how David raised his children. His brother became a reverend, writing a book about the importance of fasting to a relationship with god. It’s suggested David used this book as a loose foundation for his ideals of raising his kids.

When Louise and David had their first children Jennifer and Joshua, it was like a switch flipped inside of Louise. It was as if she realized she’d spent her childhood taking care of her sisters and now she had to do it again with her children. This time, she didn’t want to. Yes, Jennifer attended school until the third grade, but she was never clean or truly taken care of. 

In my personal opinion, I think with the unresolved childhood trauma and David’s religious manipulation, Louise dealt with postpartum psychosis. The more children the couple had, the worse her mental condition got. When they eventually got to trial (because, spoiler, they got caught), she was diagnosed with histrionic personality disorder. She perfectly fits the symptoms, but it makes me wonder if it evolved from PPP as her hypersexuality didn’t manifest until she turned forty. John Glatt, the author of the book, called it a “midlife crisis” which I don’t agree with. 

However, this is absolutely no excuse for the decades of abuse she inflicted on her children. 

During the preliminary trial in June of 2018, David Turpin’s defense lawyers did the obvious and tried to separate him from the abuse conducted by Louise. Their biggest argument was pointing out David was at work for most of the day. During the children’s police interviews, they were asked and said he didn’t inflict abuse while in California. It was noted by the prosecution that the children were just as terrified of their father as they were of their mother. Both Louise’s and David’s attorneys tried to get any evidence that was carried over from the family living in Texas dismissed. They claimed it was irrelevant, happening in a different state. From a nonbias perspective, it makes sense for the defense to try and get that evidence thrown out. Without that history, their clients, especially David, have a better chance at lesser sentences. Because let’s be honest, there was no way they were getting let go without punishment.

The only charge I thought had potential of being dropped was the lewd act committed by David Turpin against his daughter, Jordan. There was a very definitive story of what happened (other than if her pants were pulled down once or twice) but the defense made a compelling argument regarding unknowing what David’s intention was. We all know what his intention was, especially when remembering Jordan was the same age Louise was when they got married, but if the defense could put a question mark in the minds of the judge and a future jury, it would risk that verdict.

Reading the sections where the children had the ability to go on the internet made me wonder what kind of life they would’ve had if this case happened 35 years ago. Without the support of the internet friends she’d made, would Jordan have mustered the courage to call the police?

“The Family Next Door” is not a book I’d read again. Yes, it’s well researched with a lot of information coming from the preliminary trial and witnesses. I noticed information, like the ninth child James desiring to kill small animals, was talked about in the chronological timeline but  then repeated word for word during the prelim. I assume Glatt took the description from the witness statement and I wouldn’t ask him to change that, but something to make it a gentle reminder as opposed to how blunt it felt.

Most of the book reads like a script for a Youtube video. It’s on the dull side of learning facts. If there was another option to learn about this case, I’d take it. John Glatt is a notable true crime writer. I’ve never read anything else of his and I’m tempted to now, just to see if it’s similar. Is this one written in such a way because it’s a new case with little surrounding details. Would older cases feel less cold?

#book review #book blog #book recommendations #blog review #true crime #john glatt #house of horrors

[eg-writtenthoughts]

Another year gone and more books read. My goal was 24 books and I finished 25. I know that’s not a big difference, but it’s still past my goal. Due to my writing schedule, I wasn’t sure if I would divide my time enough to read them all. 

My 2023 Reading List:

The Naturals - Jennifer Lynn Barnes

Killer Instincts - Jennifer Lynn Barnes

All In - Jennifer Lynn Barnes

Bad Blood - Jennifer Lynn Barnes

Caraval - Stephanie Garber

Cry Wolf - Patricia Briggs

Alpha & Omega (Novella) - Patricia Briggs

Scarred - Patricia Briggs

Forsaken - Kelley Armstrong

Hunting Ground - Paticia Briggs

Spellbound - Kelley Armstrong

Fair Game - Patricia Briggs

Dead Heat - Patricia Briggs

Burn Bright - Patricia Briggs

Wild Sign - Patricia Briggs

Thirteen - Kelley Armstrong

Darker - E L James

Rule Breaker - Nikki Hall

Freed - E L James

The Deal - Elle Kennedy

Dirty Curve - Meagan Brandy

My Dark Vanessa - Kate Elizabeth Russell

Under Locke - Mariana Zapata

The Ritual - Shantel Tessier

The Sinner - Shantel Tessier

So, let’s talk about it. 

First, I’d like to point out there are a few rereads this year. Originally, I read The Naturals series by Jennifer Lynn Barnes in grade 12. A friend introduced them, knowing Criminal Minds is high on my mental shelf of favourites. At the time, only three books were available. The series was just as enjoyable during the second read. All four are easy to read, not too dark and gory that you can’t enjoy it on a sunny afternoon where you just want to get through a quick book. If I was to choose a least favourite from the four, it was Bad Blood. From my little blurb of a review (written in January), my issue was with the characters’ personal conflicts. I didn’t get the feeling the series was coming to an end. We’ll have to see if JLB decides to add more.

The other rereads was Darker and Freed by E L James. Like I said in my 2022 reads review, I liked Christian’s POV significantly more than the original. To be honest, the reason I reread them was because I was in the mood to read and they were the only books on my Kobo app.

Caraval by Stephanie Garber was one of the recommendations I read. I adored this book. The idea of a magical world inside any single building is such a fun concept. It gives me Coraline vibes, without the freaky bits. I think it would make an incredible movie, but only if it’s done right. I don’t want anyone half-assing it. I would love to see the visuals I see in my head. I might watch that movie a million times. I know there’s two more in the series, but I’m not a fan of changing POVs. I wish there was more of Scarlett and Julien’s story.

The Alpha and Omega series by Patricia Briggs filled most of my year. The series is currently six books and one novel long, with the option of more to be written. I initially found this series on Goodreads, looking at urban fantasy books. I read the synopsis of Cry Wolf (the first book) and it piqued my interest. I began reading it and was extremely confused. You meet the two main characters, Anna and Charles and they don’t know each other, but they’ve already been through something fairly traumatic. You have no idea what that is. The novella, Alpha and Omega, is 86 pages that I think should’ve been added to the first book. It would make Cry Wolf significantly less confusing. As a writer, I can understand why it’s not. The novella is its own story. I just wouldn’t have felt so lost in Cry Wolf. Over-all, I more than really liked these books. The concept of werewolves being almost immortal and the degradation of their sanity over time is new to me. My biggest issue with the series is the lack of flow. Each book is its own independent story and has time jumps that are barely mentioned. It’s like jumping from one pond stone to another. 

After taking an extremely long time, I finally finished the Women of the Otherworld series. I only needed to read Spellbound and Thirteen. Kelley Armstrong is hands down my favourite author. The two books didn’t disappoint. The consistent changing of POVs made the story flow beautifully. It didn’t butcher the plot like it can occasionally. Yes, I would love more of certain characters but the series isn’t Harry Potter. Not every book, every year, the same character has to go through chaos. I’ve decided to do a few rereads in 2024, and this series might be at the top of my list.

As I got farther into the year, I caved to my FOMO and read three sports romance books; The Dirty Curve, The Deal and Rule Breaker. And if you want to hear what I have to say about those, check out my blog post “Romance Books; Are they for me?”. Generally thought? I liked them, but they might not be the first thing I reach for.

Under Locke by Mariana Zapata is my first MC romance book. I really liked that there wasn’t a lot in the motorcycle club, it was more of a background piece to give the main male character a dark vibe. It wasn’t Sons of Anarchy. After reading this book, I could say that Charles Dexter Locke became my favourite male character and I would do anything for him.

My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell might be my top book of 2023. I’d seen the black and white cover everywhere, which stayed in my mind and when a coworker mentioned she had it, I knew the universe had fallen into place. It took me about a month to read and it’s because of how upset it can make you feel. If you want to hear more, read my post on the book.And finally, I began reading Shantel Tessier. This was originally a recommendation that I added to Goodreads TBR. I read The Ritual and The Sinner in 2023; I’ve already read The Sacrifice in 2024. Since I started looking into dark romance, The Ritual always popped up. I gave it a try and it’s one of the top books I read this year. I don’t want to go into the sexual themes since it’s very trigger warning heavy. If you’re looking at the books through a psychologist's eye, you’ll see how messed up the stories are, especially if you look at the romantic relationships. But if you just enjoyed it? You may like it. When I finish these books, I’m going to take a peak at Tessier’s other books.

#2023 reads #book review #romance books #book blogs #book recommendations

[eg-writtenthoughts]

Romance Books; Are They For Me?

I can say this with confidence, I don’t read romance novels. I grew up when Nicholas Sparks dominated bookshelves and movie theaters. I felt like they were overrated and that’s followed me all the way into my twenties. Now, don’t get me wrong. I love romance in my books. That fuzzy feeling you get from a good one liner couldn’t ruin a book for me. But the book has to have more, something happening around the romance. I prefer fantasy books that have romance.

In the last six months, we got a manager at work who loves to read, especially romance. But not the cheesy ones of the early 2000s. She reads the ones that are extremely popular right now, if you know what I mean (eyes emoji). My closest coworker reads them too, but also reads fantasy too. Well, now my two favourite coworkers are reading and discussing these books. I felt a little left out eventually. So, why not give them a try?

The experiment: I’d read three sports romance books, each one of a different sport and see what I think. I definitely intended on writing this post right after I read them so I had more to say. But I didn’t. So, please enjoy this extremely vague post.

I started with Rule Breaker by Nikki Hall. A football romance, which I thought would be perfect. In the end, I thought it was a cute book and that’s about it. Fake dating tropes are always fun. My main issue is that I felt like it was rushed and all happened a little too fast. Overall I thought it was fine.

The second read was The Deal by Elle Kennedy. This one came with a recommendation from my romance loving manager and unsurprisingly, she’s right. It’s hockey based and I realized that maybe, football isn’t the sport for me fictionally. This one was much better than Rule Breaker and it had to do with pacing. I enjoyed the boy falls first trope. It wasn’t perfect for me (I do know that I’m picky, especially in this instance where I’m trying a genre for the first time). However, Garrett Graham is great and I love him. There’s more books in the series and I don’t think I’m going to read them. I just don’t see myself reading them.

Third, Dirty Curve by Meagan Brandy. Baseball. Tutor and star of the team. Without talking about spoilers, I wondered the WHOLE time. It was shocking but meh. Maybe the easy answer was the better choice for that one. I liked that Dirty Curve was significantly slower than the other two. I should’ve realized this is something I’d want since I enjoy it in my other books. Out of the three books, it was the best.

My final thoughts? If I need a quick read or am on my period and in my feels, romance books might be what I reach for. If I don’t want to carry a book or don’t have the space, I’ll be using my Kindle app which has been stocked with all these goodies. Recently, I reached for a romance book after finishing a really heavy book and it was a great palette cleanser. Maybe one day I’ll figure out what my perfect (dark) romance book is.

#romance books #romance review #book review #nikki hall #meagan brandy #elle kennedy #blog review #book reccomendation

[eg-writtenthoughts]

First and Most important: Please understand there's a multitude of trigger warnings for one particular theme relating to children and abuse. Don't read this book and/or review if it's not for you.

I’m writing this minutes after finishing My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell. My first thought is that it’s a really good book. I was worried that I would still feel gross when I finished, but actually, I feel lighter. When I started reading this book, I never imagined thinking this might be one of the most well written, emotionally raw and revealing books I’ve read. Maybe it’s because I’ve experienced trauma that took me over ten years to work through enough to not let it define me and I became my own person. I resonate with that part of Vanessa.

The first half of the book made me feel gross. Gross is an overarching word for this book. Strane is a gross character, but I can’t say I hate him. I hate what he did to Vanessa, but I don’t hate him. And I think that might be from Russell’s writing in Vanessa’s perspective. Because Vanessa never truly accepts hatred towards Strane. You feel sorry for fifteen year old Vanessa. You understand just how vulnerable she is to him and everything he does. She sees him as good. He knows just the right things to say and how to make her feel like she’s consenting to him (which leaves a lasting impact on her mental state). Vanessa was Strane’s outlet for the final seventeen years of his life. She was what he channeled his disgusting needs and desires into, not truly caring how he destroyed her. He only cared that his lust wasn’t getting him into trouble and that she wouldn’t speak up. I get the impression that Vanessa was the first student he actually slept with. Because if he’d been “successful” with another student and was able to break and mold her to the point of sex, she would’ve been his obsession. Vanessa would’ve heard about her. But Taylor heard about Vanessa. He told his other victims about Vanessa. 

I can’t help but think about consent and the mental state that Strane’s manipulation left Vanessa in. At the time of her first rape, she was fifteen. Still ten years away from her brain being fully developed. Yes, Strane absolutely manipulated her into saying yes and believing she was giving consent. That’s something he drilled so deeply into her psyche, she believes it to the end of the book, even when she can admit it was rape. I like that there was never a real conclusion to that internal debate. Because it wouldn’t just happen. Strane died and I think that gave Vanessa breathing room. She was able to live and experience life without the constant cloud of him and his worries that she was going to tell. He lived inside her head, even when they only spoke to relive her trauma for his (and her mentally forced) pleasures.

The second half of the book, after Strane kills himself, is different. Yes, there is still so much ‘gross’ being said from Strane and what he inflicts on Vanessa as an adult. His delusion and obsession with her continued into her twenties. The fact they actually “dated” is wild to me. It fed into both of their delusions. She knew how to be what he wanted, yet she worried about getting older. Even though it sent her into a slow-burned self-destruction, Strane breaking up with her was the best thing he could do for her (apart from killing himself).

I liked that when Taylor (and the reporter) continuously contacted Vanessa, she didn't jump on the savior’s bandwagon. That’s untrue to her experience and what she believed. Vanessa just wants to live and not be drowned by Strane. Taylor wanted him and Browick to be held accountable. Both women felt frustrated with the other for their choices. I know people shouldn’t compare traumas, but in my opinion, what Vanessa went through was worse than Taylor. Strane “tried to be good” but if he’d been good in the first place, Vanessa might’ve become the person Strane claimed to see her at fifteen. Or maybe she was just a weak and easy victim as the stereotype leads us to believe. She fit his mold enough to pay attention in the first place. Russell writes the timeline so you aren’t able to psychologically analyze what Vanessa was like before the abuse began. The point being that it doesn’t matter, but maybe it does. You’re built by your parents and experiences. Maybe Vanessa was built to be Strane’s perfect victim. Maybe in some sick way, she saved Taylor and the other girls from experiencing everything she went through because Strane had her to play his fantasies to. She didn’t grow up and forget about him, like he said she would or his past victims seemed to. He touched those girls but she was the only one he had sex with. That’s dark to think about, but it’s likely true. 

I went through most of this book thinking it was gross. That was the best word to describe it. It wasn’t easy to read about a fifteen year old getting raped by her forty year old teacher. I had to take breaks to not continuously feel the sadness. But it was good enough to keep reading. I never considered stopping because of the darkness and sadness. In reality, there’s no happy ending to My Dark Vanessa. There’s a suggestion to one, an understanding she’s no longer under Strane’s shadow. He’s dead. He can’t continue to remind her that she consented or she asked for it or she could be the one to take his life away. He twisted the narrative enough to put red-tinted glasses over the truth. Vanessa can move away from that without the surprise risk of him pulling her back. 

Personally, I really liked the book. Again, that might be because I can relate to Vanessa and the gloom of living through trauma. I would recommend this book to anyone who could handle it. And if you can’t, that’s okay. There are other books to read. This isn’t something you should force yourself to finish. But I understand why my coworker read this book two years ago and still thinks about it today.

#book review #book recommendations #book blog #my dark vanessa #kate elizabeth russell #contemporary

[eg-writtenthoughts]

My 2022 Reads & Thoughts

As a writer, I don’t have the time to read as much as I’d like. Determined to not feel like I’m completely missing out on something else I love, I gave myself the goal of 12 books in 2022. I was able to meet that goal. At some points, I didn’t read one book a month. Some months, I didn’t read at all. Others, I read an entire series back to back. This post is coming almost a year late, making all of my comments based on memory (with a little Googling for characters I no longer remember).

The twelve books were, not in order:

Blood of Elves (The Witcher, book 1) - Andrzej Sapkowski

A Court of Thorns and Roses - Sarah J. Maas

Throne of Glass - Sarah J. Maas

Ugly Love - Colleen Hoover

A Court of Wings and Ruin - Sarah J. Maas

A Court of Mist and Fury - Sarah J. Maas

Grey (Fifty Shades of Grey as Told by Christian) - E L James

Darker (Fifty Shades as Told by Christian) - E L James

Freed (Fifty Shades as told by Christian) - E L James

These Hollow Vows - Lexi Ryan

These Twisted Bonds - Lexi Ryan

The Cruel Prince (The Folk of the Air, book 1) - Holly Black

At the bottom of my list, was The Cruel Prince by Holly Black. This is the first book  I put on my DNF list which broke my heart. Growing up I read The Spiderwick Chronicles by Black and Tony DiTerlizzi. It was my favourite series and what introduced me to Urban Fantasy. It was a pivotal point to my childhood because it really made a base for me. I went into The Cruel Prince fairly open minded, but I did have expectations. Fairy/Fae fantasy hasn’t been a genre that’s enticed me. I couldn’t tell you why. I love vampires, werewolves, witches, etc. Fairy/Fae hasn’t caught my attention in the same way. When I began The Cruel Prince, it didn’t draw me in. The main character, Jude was unlikable and I had a hard time finding a hook within it to grab. I always look for an unexpected romance but the abuse from Cardan just wasn’t worth wanting a change. And honestly, that’s all I remember. Maybe I’ll try to read it again one day, only because I hold Black on a podium in my head, but it won’t be in 2023.

Next, is Ugly Love by Colleen Hoover. I’m ignoring the controversy that’s come from Hoover and her personal life between the time I read this book and now. I know Hoover is at the peak of her writing career right now and Ugly Love is considered one of her must read books. But, I couldn’t stand it. From what I’ve been told, Hoover has a tendency to touch on heavy topics within her book. Just from this one book, I do not think she has the writing ability to execute these kinds of topics well or with dignity. With no spoilers, Ugly Love has a character trauma that Hoover writes the situation at an surface level of emotions. I didn’t feel anything while reading it. There was suspense of what happened to Miles as you read but it absolutely did not satisfy. It was like hitting a speed bump and for once, it blew out the tire of your car. This might be the only book I’ve returned after reading because of how disappointed I was. Thankfully, the employee at the bookstore agreed with me. I felt vindicated.

Blood of Elves by Andrzej Sapkowski is a book I enjoyed but have a very specific, personal thought about. When it comes to a series, I prefer each book to have its own storyline that also contributes to the overall story. For example, the Harry Potter saga. Blood of Elves however, felt like it was just the starting point of one storyline. It didn’t have a distinctive storyline that was for it alone. It felt long without a satisfying conclusion. The only reason I haven’t entirely put the book in my negative bookshelf in my mind is that I know Henry Cavill is a fan that led him to playing Geralt. So there must be something great about it. It’s also spun off a very successful video game series. I’d be willing to give Blood of Elves another chance, but I would need to be in a cottage, relaxing with the rest of the series with nothing to distract me.

Lumping the next together, is the duology These Hollow Vows and These Twisted Bonds by Lexi Ryan. If I was to rate the duology as one single book, out of five, I’d give it a 3. The first book, These Hollow Vows was a good book but felt like it was missing something. Maybe it had to do with Ryan’s desire to put the story into two books, the first one was just less. Until the end! The end was that amazing cliff hanger where the heroine is shown to be a badass. I loved These Twisted Bonds. It was a swell of the storyline and I felt like I was racing towards the end. The plot wasn’t fleshed out entirely, since I felt like the Queen wasn’t met enough to have her really feel like the villain. The conclusion was satisfying and truly, I didn’t know who the main character would end up with. I’d like to do a re-read just to enjoy the love triangle again.

At the top of my 2022 bookshelf, the books that surprised me the most were Grey, Darker, and Freed by E. L. James. I read the original trilogy (more than once) and I find it a guilty pleasure. It’s a quick read trilogy and decent enough to quiet my brain. It was the first romance only book(s) I’ve read. Similarly to Midnight Sun by Stephanie Meyers, the change of perspective, made the story significantly better and more appealing to me. The trauma Christian brings to the story is enticing in a way that naive Ana didn’t have. You genuinely root for Christian and his growth and success. I definitely will re-read this trilogy.

And finally, the first three ACOTAR books and Throne of Glass. I genuinely don’t remember much about Throne of Glass, other than the fact I fell to my urges and googled how the relationships go throughout the series. I’ll be the first to admit that spoilers don’t bother me 95% of the time. I wasn’t a fan of the results and that’s what stopped me from reading more. I plan on trying again to read them, most likely at the end of 2023 or in 2024. I will say, I’m displeased about the cover change. I own the first three books in the 2nd released covers, where Celaena Sardothien is featured. That’s too many for me not to want the rest in that cover. The new ones are nice, but I don’t want to have to re-buy them. 

A Court of Thorns and Roses may be the only Fae books I’ve ever immersed myself into. It’s been a very long time since I’ve fallen into a series/universe that I want to ingest over and over again, especially from a new author. Falling in love with characters (especially Azriel) is a happy and personal feeling. I cried during A Court of Wings and Ruin, from the comradery and love that the characters share, which I don’t do often. Yes, there was a hint of a love triangle in the beginning which always tugs at my attention, but Feyre and Rhys were beautiful. The demise of Tamlin was an incredible side plot that I could hear more about. Maas really knows how to keep her readers actively reading. ACOTAR being a Beauty and the Beast retelling was a great starting point for the series. I read A Court of Frost and Starlight this year and that review is to come. I haven’t read A Court of Silver Flames and that’s from pure stubbornness. I love Feyre’s point of view and yes, Nesta is incredible and her love story with Cassian is intense but I’m picky. From my own opinion, I don’t think this should’ve been a part of ACOTAR but its own independent series. Unless the entire series is jumping POVs, it makes it weird for me. I will definitely be re-reading this series again at some point. The fanfiction online satisfies me for now.

I’m not unhappy with my reading choices for 2022. There were a few that I didn’t like, but we all have to read stuff we don’t like. I know which author I don’t plan on reading again. As an author myself, it really opens my eyes to what audiences are reading and what I like. I know how to focus myself and my plot lines, not going off on wild adventures where I won’t be satisfied with the conclusion. 

#book review #book recommendations #book blog #acotar #ugly love #sarah j maas #holly black #the witcher #e l james #fifty shades of grey #reads of 2022

[eg-writtenthoughts]

Reading Update...

As I've made a dent in ‘When The Moon Turns to Blood’ by Leah Sottile, I realized it's not exactly what I was expecting. So, I will be finishing the book and putting a review up. It just won't be as thorough or with notes.

Instead, I'm moving to 'Wrongfully Convicted: Guilty Pleas, Imagined Crimes, and What Canada Must Do to Safeguard Justice' by Kent Roach.

#true crime #book review #reviews #book blog #goodreads

[eg-writtenthoughts]

While You're Waiting...

An intermediary post while I’m reading the next book... A plug for my favourite true crime podcast - True Crime and Cocktails. 

Produced by Art19, this podcast is hosted by Lauren Ash, most well known for her role as Dina in NBC’s hit show Superstore and her cousin/best friend Christy Oxborrow. 

What started out of a guest appearance on Lauren’s old podcast, became a lockdown passion project for the pair. Starting off with a running time around an hour and a half, the episodes got to the point much quicker than they do these days. Mainly, Christy researched the cases of Netflix's first season of the “new” Unsolved Mysteries. 

Now on their 132nd episode, the running time passes the two hour mark with at least one episode sitting at three hours. With enthusiasm and humour that’s made me snort in laughter a time or two, they discuss their lives and current or twenty year old pop culture to warm up their audience for half hour to forty-five minutes of the episode.

In my personal opinion, Christy Oxborrow might be the best researcher in audio media at the moment. I understand that on television shows or fancy network podcasts, like Dateline NBC or Crime Beat, their researchers must be more careful with what they say or where they look for details. Nobody wants to get sued. Christy however, will do an occasional social media search or a search of a town’s archives. It adds much more to the episodes, and gives credence to the moments when the pair essentially calls some of the suspects ‘idiots’ (in their own educated opinions).

Christy and Lauren are just as entertaining, even more revealing and connected to their invested listeners on their Patreon. True Crime and Cocktails is the first patreon I’ve ever subscribed to and I think it’s a worthy choice. They provide three tiers of content, all at different and reasonable prices. 

Many cases covered on the podcast are familiar, like Nicole Brown, Heaven’s Gate, or Whitey Bulger. A majority of the cases are a medium level familiarity for anyone who’s dabbled in true crime along with cases that are next to unknown. These tend to be Christy’s and Lauren’s specialty. A particular series I find unique is titled ‘Missing’. Christy presents Lauren and the audience with a range of cases with little information available. As there’s Unsolved Mysteries. 

Sticking to their roots, Lauren and Christy have covered the two newest seasons of Netflix’s Unsolved Mysteries. 

At the end of an episode, Lauren (and when they occasionally reverse positions, Christy) goes over the diligent notes she’s taken, often with the loving interruption of one or multiple pets. The pair spend half an hour discussing the case and theories they’ve come up with for the unsolved episodes. Lauren often gives her “psychologist’s hat” opinion. As she reminds the listeners, she does not have a degree, only a history of true crime fascination.

In conclusion, True Crime and Cocktails is a podcast anyone can listen to if they’re interested in getting more true crime into their brains. In my opinion, you won’t be able to listen to any other true crime podcast without feeling like you’d rather hear it from your Canadian, quirky friends. The oldest episodes may be a little rougher to get into especially if those are the ones you chose to start with, but soon enough, the two get their stride and have grown a podcast that I anxiously wait for every Tuesday morning. 

#true crime and cocktails #true crime #blog review #podcast #podcast review #lauren ash #canadian podcast #must listen

[eg-writtenthoughts]

'Scarred' Book Review & Thoughts

Scarred: The True Story of How I Escaped NXIVM, The Cult that Bound My Life

Sarah Edmonton (with Kristine Gasbarre); 2019

This is my first post, and what better book to start off with than Scarred by Sarah Edmonson? In 2017, Sarah was an integral part of the NXIVM whistleblowers. If you don’t recognize the name, NXIVM was a cult masquerading as a self-help company since the early 2000s. ‘Scarred’ solely focuses on Sarah’s story of being promoted through NXIVM and its Stripe Path while working on her “personal growth”. 

HBO’s ‘The Vow’ was my first real introduction to NXIVM. After bingeing the first season on my (ex)boyfriend’s couch, my interest had peeked. The directors perfectly set the stage by the end of the first episode, to make the audience, myself included, think ‘oh, it doesn’t sound that bad. I get why people tried it.’

‘Scarred’ is written to make the reader feel like Sarah is writing her story to you, a personal friend. The first chapter is when the reader is given a dose of discomfort. It tells of the day Sarah was branded under the watchful eye of her best friend, Lauren. This was filmed on Lauren’s phone and sent to Keith Raniere, the leader of NXIVM. It feels like Sarah is saying “this is the worst that happened. Here it is. Everything else you’ll read just leads up to my worst moment.” The chapter itself has the feeling you get when watching a horror movie, knowing the girl checking the empty bedroom where she heard the mysterious sounds coming from, is going to die. 

But then, as you’re about to be transported back to 2005 to start Sarah’s story, an image flashed through my mind. The moment in a movie where the crazy opening scene happens and the screen freezes on the main character’s warped face as the voice over says, “Hi there. Yep, that’s me. You’re probably wondering how I got here.”

‘Scarred’ has a cathartic feeling. As a reader, you understand that you’re reading a part of Sarah’s healing process. Some of her experiences are shared on camera in ‘The Vow’, but in ‘Scarred’, she lays it all out. You understand her thought process as to why she joined, allowed herself to spend the money/do a work exchange to learn more, and the decade of her life to be promoted up the Stripe Path (NXIVM’s company hierarchy) before opening her own education centre in Vancouver, British Columbia. 

While reading, I’d have loved more details. What sash did Nippy have when Sarah met him? Was Nancy’s home the one that every other senior leader copied? How long was David a member of NXIVM?  Did Sarah collect Air Miles? Did Sarah and Bonnie have a friendship? (Do any of these questions make sense if you haven’t read the book? No, which is why you should read it) It often felt like she gave the bare minimum of what happened in any situation. But I still read it, all 222 pages. If I didn’t make any notes while I read, it would’ve taken me two days to finish. 

The want for more information is a ‘me thing’. I always want to know more of somebody’s story if it’s out there. At the end of the day, I understand that Sarah (and her co-writer Kristine Gasbarre) could only share what’s important to her story. 

And if you’re wondering, NXIVM had its notes of wisdom. People wouldn’t have joined if it didn’t. Sarah was able to share those tidbits throughout her book. It’s how she could rationalise the strange things and behaviours she witnessed over twelve years within the company. Genuinely, they had sentences in their curriculum that could be applied to someone’s life to make them feel just a little lighter. And yes, I said sentences. Anything more, Raniere went WILD with confusing sentences. 

But of course, we know who created that curriculum. Every time I saw a sliver of sense, I thought “if it wasn’t NXIVM, this could be beneficial.”

Before I wrap up, I’d like to add that Sarah Edmonson is an absolute badass. I know she didn’t write this book to brag but holy crap, this woman has a work ethic and determination that I envy. The dedication she put into ESP (the company under the umbrella corporation NXIVM), to growing the first Canadian centre for ESP that she opened, to enrolling as many people as she could and helping them to expand their own personal growth, is admirable. I think she could run her own non-culty company any day.

But overall, this is a story Sarah could’ve kept in her drawer with her diary or in her therapist’s notebook. Her willingness to share her vulnerability with the anonymous audience is touching and admirable. In lamest terms, she’s warning everyone not to join a cult.

Do I think ‘Scarred’ is a good way to introduce people to the NXIVM story and crimes? As good as Sarah’s book is, no I don’t. I think if you want to know all of the details about NXIVM and the timeline leading up to the 2019 trial, you should watch ‘The Vow’ for that. 

Through HBO, ‘The Vow’, a docu-series was released in 2019. Sarah, her husband Anthony “Nippy” Ames, and other whistleblowers, Mark Vicente (who can be thanked for most of the in-the-moment NXIVM footage), Bonnie Piesse, and Catherine Oxobrough appear heavily in the first season. The second season focuses heavily on the trial of Keith Reniere, NXIVM’s creator and “Vanguard”. (I’d like to personally add that I cannot see the word vanguard now without being a little creeped out.)

After you watch the documentary series and pick your jaw off the ground, listen to ‘A Little Bit Culty’, Sarah’s and Nippy’s podcast (which I avidly listen to) and read ‘Scarred’. You read with Sarah’s empathy and wholesomeness in your head to know that she wasn’t your stereotypical person to fall for a cult. She was able to rationalise it and other than a few times, I don’t want to rip my hair out at just how obviously manipulative the people around her were.

My final note… ‘Coercive control’ is a term that’s becoming more familiar to the American legal system thanks to the NXIVM case. The United States Assistant Attorneys were able to show the 2019 jury that the women charged along with Raniere weren’t doing the horrible acts they committed because it’s what they wanted. They were manipulated (brainwashed, if you will), by Raniere, something he was highly talented at. Some of these women were under his influence for 20 years! Coercive control was recently mentioned in another high profile case; this time in Hollywood. Danny Masterson, of That 70s Show fame, was charged with the SA of three women. Masterson has been convicted at the time of writing this blog post.

#NXIVM #BLOG POST #TRUE CRIME #true story #sarah edmonson #book review #nonfiction #cults #tw cults

[eg-writtenthoughts]

Coming soon...

First thoughts dedicated to 'Scarred' by Sarah Edmonson (and Kristine Gasbarre), discussing her time with NXIVM

#sarah edmonson #nxivm #book review #book recommendations #book blog #thoughts