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i-will-be-forever-yours · 4 years

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Cuts Run Deep

A/N: This one is pretty close to my heart. I have struggled with cutting and anxiety and depression for a while now. Some days it get’s to be too much, and that’s okay. However, I want to tell any of you who are struggling with depression or anxiety, you are not alone. Don't discredit yourself, for you are SO special. If you ever need someone to talk to, don’t hesitate. I won’t judge you at all bc the truth is that this needs to be talked about more. We, as a society, need to normalize the need for help in the battle of mental illnesses. I’m here for you, as a person who has struggled themselves. It may seem like you are drowning, but there is a way out of this. I love you all. Thanks for reading.

Warnings: Couple curse words, talk of cutting and self harm and suicide. PLEASE don't read if this makes you uncomfortable. (TRIGGER WARNING)

Summary: Shawn and Y/n are so in love, but words can hurt and cuts run deep. Can Shawn bring her back and show how much he loves her???

Word Count: 2.5k

my masterlist

posted 4-4-20

not my gif

Shawn was in the studio this morning so Y/n thought she’d clean the house a bit. She had just gotten back from an overseas trip and was at home resting from all the lights and cameras. She was used to the photos being taken of her and the articles being written about her since she already had a name for herself in Hollywood, being an up and coming actress. That’s not to say that some of the articles about her didn’t sting, but she never thought she’d be so spitefully talked about when she started dating Shawn. The media truly had a field day at her expense, but she never told Shawn how she truly felt, wanting to spare his feelings because she knew how hurt he’d be if he found out what people were saying about her. Of course, he knew about the articles and tabloids, but he didn’t know of the snide comments she got from her coworkers or fans as she walked down the street. He didn’t understand how hurt she was, and she wanted to keep it that way. She couldn’t bear to unload her baggage on him, when he had so much he dealt with on a daily basis.

They met just under two years ago. It was pretty cliche, but to them it was truly was love at first sight. Rain was pouring down on the streets outside as Y/n ran to a small coffee shop to try and avoid the brewing storm. However, just as she was reaching for the door handle, she made contact with another hand. Pulling her hand back in surprise she looked up at this man. He had the warmest smile and the most beautiful eyes.

“I- uh,” she coughed, trying to clear her throat before continuing, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t see you there.”

Eyes shining bright, he said,chucking, “Well that makes two of us.” Holding the door open for her he followed her in. Once inside the safety of the cafe he introduced himself saying, “Hi, I’m Shawn,” while stretching out his hand to shake.

Looking at his outstretched hand and then back into his brown eyes she replied, “I know who you are. I’m a big fan of your music.” Slightly embarrassed, she took his hand and gave it a light shake before continuing. “My name is Y/n. Uh- Y/n Y/L/n.”

“No way! As in Y/n L/n the actress? I’ve seen a couple of your movies. You are so talented, especially in that murder thriller,” he gushed with flushed cheeks and a big smile adorning his face.

After ordering they sat down together and talked for over an hour, but it felt like a couple of seconds. Time flew by and next thing they knew they were exchanging numbers with the promise to meet up again. Now, almost two years later, they are living together and Shawn plans on proposing to her on their second anniversary. He has it all thought out, they are going to a romantic picnic and then going back to the coffee shop where they met. It will be there where he’ll drop to one knee and ask the question that’s been plaguing his thoughts for the past weeks.

However he is currently at the studio, as he’s been extremely busy finishing writing a song for her. It’s taken a toll on his stress, but he knows it’ll be worth it. He is really proud of the turnout and is ready to call it a day, after he finishes the last couple chords, to finally go cuddle with Y/n back home.

- At their shared home -

Y/n was content with the amount of cleaning she had done and decided to kick back and relax. She threw on one of Shawn’s shirts and sat in front of their large flatscreen in the living room. Lost in her thoughts after catching sight of the photo next to the tv. It was a picture of the two of them, looking at each other. They were completely smitten, and everyone knew it. Sure they had their disagreements, but so does every couple. Their love for each other was strong enough to know that they would always be there for each other. Even after the worst fights, in the end, they knew they’d be alright.

She was brought back when her twitter app notified her name being tagged in a tweet that was getting a lot of feedback. Opening up her phone she saw a hashtag trending that stated “#Mendes dump L/n”. She usually ignores things like this that pops up on her feed, but something prompts her to open it, and she later wishes she hadn’t.

It was just another thing that belittled Y/n and made her feel more insecure. It’s not the actual tweet which bothered her, but it was the comments from all the fans. So many people were jumping in and saying how ugly she was, or how she doesn’t deserve Shawn. She always grew up feeling like that. Never knowing if people were using her or whether people truly liked her or not. Since a very young age, she struggled with anxiety and inner demons. Her parents thought she made it up and constantly ignored her begging for medication to help her not feel like that anymore. She wanted something to calm her racing heart and needed relief from the anxiety that coursed through her veins, but no one heard her pleas. They fell to deaf ears. It got worse in high school when she started isolating herself. She would put up a mask to hide the depression and anxiety. It felt like no one saw who she truly was, but people liked the person she was with the mask. That mask started to become who she was.

It got so bad that she would cut herself. As the tears streamed down her face, she brought the razor to her wrist and would cut line after line into her soft flesh. She watched as the blood pooled out and felt a sense of calm, and now again she thought about it. She thought about the distraction and almost relief she felt from the pain that cutting brought. It felt like her problems left as the blood pooled out with the dark red. She wanted that relief again.

Getting up from the couch and going into the bathroom where she kept a razor, while in the back of her mind she told herself she was foolish for believing the lies that the people spewed, she held it with trembling hands. Then she remembered Shawn. The handsome man she’d fallen for, with a broad smile and the most generous heart. Then, remembering how he’d been spending more and more time at the studio. Maybe they were right and perhaps he needed someone more stable and beautiful by his side. Someone who could be confident with themselves, despite the dirt and shit people threw at her. Tears leaked from the corners of her eyes. So used to the emptiness, it felt like second nature to be in this position. It didn’t stop her from questioning her decision, but she knew she wanted the best for Shawn. Maybe, just maybe if she killed herself Shawn could find someone who made him happy, she thought.

Stripping out of her clothes and stepping into the shower with the razor in her hand, she let her tears mix with the pounding water. The water was burning her skin, but she didn’t even feel as it left her skin raw and burning. All Y/n felt at that moment was the emotional toll that years of scrutiny had left her. Her mind was cloudy and dazed and she held the sharp point to her wrist. Applying a little pressure, she winced when she dragged it across her skin. Blood almost immediately started to run out of the cut. Years of cutting left her with the knowledge of how deep to cut without leaving scars. Not starting off too deep was her plan, because she knew she had to build up to it. She cut again and again and watched as the blood escaped her tiny cuts. The cuts were light but her wounds ran deep. The pain was not external but was a raging storm within. It clouded her judgment and thoughts, to the point where she couldn’t feel anything but pain.

Her physical pain didn’t even phase her. She could only focus on the blood as it mixed with the water on the shower tile on the floor. Ragged, short breaths left her as Y/n thought about all the comments from the media and people. Falling back against the shower wall she clutched her wrist to her chest. She wanted it to end, the assault of the hateful words trashing in her head like a raging beast. Her thoughts were so overwhelming in her head that she didn’t hear Shawn calling her name.

- Shawn’s side-

Walking in the door, Shawn tosses his keys into the bowl by the entryway. Looking around he breathes out a deep sigh, letting out his stress. He was ready for this, ready to take the next step with the love of his life. So, as he made his way further into their shared home he wasn't even fazed when he heard the shower running. It brings about a sense of domesticity for him. However, his brows knit together when he hears cries coming from inside the bathroom. Calling out Y/n’s name with no response causes his heart rate to start picking up. Rushing in, he flings the door of the ensuite bathroom open and sees a sight that makes his heart break. There was Y/n, the love of his life, was sitting with her head down and her hands clutched to her chest. Moving closer, his heart pounds and his vision begins to spin at the sight red dripping down her left forearm.

Pulling open the shower door he stands dumbfounded as Y/n quickly looks up at him, with bloodshot eyes and a broken expression on her face. It wasn’t even her appearance that made his heart come to a crashing stop. No, it isn’t how her breath hitches in her throat or even the way she sits there on the floor of the shower looking up at him. It is what he sees in her hand, what he sees running down her arms. In those couple seconds, he realizes he needs to help her. So, grabbing the hand towel on the hook, he wraps it around her damaged wrists, careful to not cause too much pain in his attempt to catch the rapidly decreasing blood flow. Silence overtakes them as he dresses and tends to her arm. It’s a couple minutes before Shawn has the courage to speak up.

“I- uh, Love… Why did you do this?” he questions in a weak voice, once safely of the shower.

She doesn’t say anything, but instead falls into his body and cries. Wrapping another towel around her soaked frame, he wraps his arms around her to bring her closer. No words are spoken as he guides them to the bedroom and he holds her in his strong arms against his chest.

Y/n had her head against his chest, and something about the steady beat of his heart calms her. Just him being there calms the storm that rages war in her head. Her breathing has slowed and she feels better. Shawn looks down and sees she is now more relaxed. No longer are there tears or fear, but it has since been replaced with a look of emptiness.

With much trepidation, he speaks up saying, “Honey, tell me why. What made you do this? You know I love you so much. I-if I found y-you dead… I don’t know what I would do. You are the best thing to happen to me Y/n Y/l/n. Don’t forget that.”

Y/n looks at him, hearing the vulnerability in his voice. She nods into his chest and takes a few calming breaths before replying, “I just read a- some tweets that- um- that said you should break up with me. And I know it’s stupid and I shouldn’t read things like that. But something about it reminded me of what I’ve been told my whole life. I don’t know, I guess I started to believe them. I mean with you at the studio a lot lately.” She started to ramble, “and that’s fine! I am not trying to be clingy. I was just thinking maybe there is a better person-”

“Stop. No, don’t say that love. You are the only right person for me. I knew that when I met you in the coffee shop that day. I’ve loved you since then. Okay? Don’t listen to their lies. If they cannot see that you are so loved, then that’s on them. You are so amazing and beautiful, and I love you so much. There is no one that I would rather be with. Okay- uh so, I had a whole big plan for this but I cannot wait any longer. I need you to understand how much I love you.” he stated before getting up and moving to their shared closet. She hears him rummaging around before she sees him coming out again.

“Y/n Y/l/n, you are so special to me. Your smile brightens my day and leads me back home in the craziest storms. There’s not a moment when you aren’t on my mind, and I want to marry you-”

“Shawn what-” she gasped in shock, quickly sitting up and moving to the edge of the bed, with the towel still wrapped around her soaked frame.

Bending on one knee, he grabs her left hand, conscientious of the bandaging, and in a voice thick with emotion he asks, “Y/n Y/l/n, will you make me the happiest man in the world and marry me?”

“I- I, yes! I love you,” she cries. However, her tears are for a completely different reason. He stands up and places the ring on her finger and kisses her. The kiss is slow and deep. It’s not like any other kiss they’ve shared, not after coming home from a party turned on, or even the first kiss they shared. No, this kiss is so symbolic, and emotional, and it’s not until they break for air do they come back from that bliss.

Once again laying upon the bed, with Y/n in Shaw's arms he whispers, “Who’d've thought that we’d get engaged with you only in a towel and in our bedroom?” He has a cheeky grin on his face, and she knows what he is implying. She chuckled with him before he continued, “We are going to have proper engagement. You need to act surprised too. All our family will be there and want to see your reaction. For now, how about I take care of that towel. We have a lot to celebrate.”

She looks at him and smiles, ducking her head into his neck. Nodding her head in a silent agreement, she starts to place small kisses onto the underside of his chin. He tightens his grasp on her and flips her so he’s hovering atop her. A smirk plays on his lips as he slowly pulls either side of the towel from around her. Yeah, the night has just begun.

_________

Please reblog and let me know if you liked it or if you hated it. Talk to me, and let me know your ideas for writing. Love you guys!

#shawn mendes imagine #angst #writing #imagine #shawn angst

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i-will-be-forever-yours · 4 years

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You are my strength

A/N: So I know it’s been a little bit, but I finished it and I want to let you guys know that I changed the cancer to lymphoma from leukemia. It worked a little better since lymphoma is more common in men. Still occurs in women, just less likely. I hope you guys enjoy, and my medical knowledge is not the best...hopefully if I get into the medical program (fingers crossed) that I will be more precise. Thank you for reading! hope you enjoy, and feedback is always welcome! Also, I didn’t edit, so please excuse the errors.

Warnings: Talk of cancer, depression, and (barely) suicide attempt (please don’t read if this is upsetting) Mostly fluff, with a sprinkling of angst

Summary: Y/n and Shawn have struggled the past two years. Hardship and pain was the only thing seen. They were in a never-ending tunnel, that only led to more darkness. Is there any light in their future?

Word Count: kinda short.. 1.2K

posted 2-16-20

-not my gif-

“And where do you think you are going?” he said whilst grabbing her by the waist and pulling her back on top of him, before quickly flipping them over so he was on top of her pinning her down. They had been watching a movie on the couch together, and she thought that he was asleep and she could sneak away for a second.

“Shawn! I have to pee, babe come on! Let me go” y/n giggled as Shawn playfully held her down. “I actually really need to pee, so if you would please let me go” she tried again in the most serious voice she could muster while Shawn made funny faces. She goes to lightly slap away his hands when he suddenly jumps back smiling.

“Okay, okay! No need for physical violence” he chuckles and allows her to walk past him. “Please, go right on your way ma’am.”

Rolling her eyes, she makes her way to their shared master bedroom but stops when she hears a whimper. Quickly backtracking she quietly opens the door to the nursery just a door over.

It never fails to make her smile when she sees her two-month-old babies asleep in their cribs. It was unexpected, her pregnancy. She was told she could never have kids after what she went through, so when the inevitable feeling of nausea arose out of nowhere she was worried. Not only that but Shawn was worried. He was worried that she was getting sick again. She had just gotten over her last bout of sickness, and it took a toll on her body. Just over a year and a half ago she had been diagnosed with cancer. It was aggressive cancer, but they were going to fight this war with leukemia.

He watched her suffer through the treatments, and the depression. She wanted to give up, she wanted him to move on, but he stuck by her side. He loved her more than life itself. He wished he could go through it for her or at least with her, but since he couldn’t he was there for her every step of the way. When she got sick with the pregnancy however, he was worried beyond measures. What if she were sick again? He didn’t know if she could take that again because her body was so weak already.

However, they were greatly surprised when they got the news that she was pregnant. Not only that but pregnant with twins. This took a major toll on her body though. Y/n was in and out of the hospital. She struggled to carry them, due to her already weak state, but she wouldn’t change it for the world. Y/n was proud to say that she was a mother of two beautiful babies. When she was diagnosed, all those days ago, she lost hope in building a family with Shawn. She thought that she would never be able to give him the family that she knew he longed for.

- A year and a half Earlier -

“It’s okay, just breathe baby. We are going to take you in to see the doctor today. Okay? You’ve had this fever for over a week and you’re losing weight.” Shawn tried to reassure y/n but the tears continued to flow down her face. She was lying in his arms because she didn’t have the strength to get up. That’s what worried him the most. She had always been this independent person, who refused to show weakness, but here she was crying in his arms, too weak to stand.

After going in they were given life-altering news. Y/n had leukemia and needed to start treatment immediately. They barely had time to process, before they were met by the specialist. The Oncologist sat them down and told them that they were lucky enough to have caught it in the ‘infant’ stages. He explained the treatments and what they would be looking at.

They fought this together for the better part of a year. It took all the strength she had, both physically and mentally. There were times when she got back from a hematopoietic stem cell transplantation and truly thought about giving up. She wanted to be out of pain, and she wanted Shawn to move on. The guilt was almost overpowering. The thought of making him suffer, and constantly worry for her brought her to tears. That is where he found her, in the bath that he had filled for her. There was a razor to the side and her medication.

He rushed to her, getting in behind her and holding her shaking form against his broad chest. He consoled her until the water was too cold to sit in. He gently helped her out and paid no heed to his soaked clothes, but instead wrapped her in the fluffiest towel and led her to the bed. He quickly changed a laid with her, rubbing soothing circles on her back, while her head laid comfortable in the crook of his neck.

They got better, and soon enough they were walking out of the hospital doors, hand in hand, with a clip that said ‘I kicked leukemia’s ass’. That’s not to say it was a short walk in the park, because it felt like the longes fucking marathon of her entire life, but surrounded by people she loved gave her the strength to keep fighting. She fought it with all she had and came out on top.

- Present Time -

Now as Y/n looks down at her sleeping babies, she smiles. She doesn’t even see her husband walk in behind her until he slips his sting arms around her small frame. Kissing her lightly on the cheek he asks, “What are you doing in here babe? I thought he needed to pee.”

Lightly chuckling she replies, “I did, but I heard one of them whispering so I came to check on them.”

He hums in response while brushing his nose against the name of her neck, inhaling her unique scent. She smells like fresh lavender and baby lotion.

“Come back to bed with me babe, they are asleep now,” he whispers.

He gently turns her body around and leads her back into their room. Y/n walks into the attached bathroom, and when she comes back she is met with the cutest sight. She sees Shawn hugging her pillow, while his soft curls fall gently over his forehead. She makes her way closer before sliding in next to him. His arms immediately reach out to her and gently slide around her waist. She smiles while her back is pressed against Shawn’s broad chest. It’s quiet for a moment, before Shawn whispers, “Thank you for making me the happiest man alive, you made me a dad and a husband. You taught me how to live and how to be strong. I love you so much Y/n.”

Turning her head slightly, Y/n places a kiss on the corner of Shawn’s lips. They know that they will always be strong and lift each other when one feels weak. She replies in a soft, sleepy voice, “You are my strength.”

_______________________________________________________________________

Thank you for reading, and please let me know if you like it or have ideas that you want me to write. Love you guys

#shawn mendes #fluff #slight angst #reader insert #Female reader #kinda bad writing #repost please

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i-will-be-forever-yours · 4 years

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Hey guys! Sorry for not being too active lately...but I’m happy to say that I have something small for you guys in the works...it’s gonna be pretty fluffy! But if you have any ideas, I’d be more than happy to write you guys a story! I’m also here for advice and you all can talk to me about anything! 💕love you guys! Here’s a sneak peak

“And where do you think you are going?” he said whilst grabbing her by the waist and pulling her back on top of him, before quickly flipping them over so he was on top of her pinning her down. They had been watching a movie in the couch together, and she thought that he was asleep and she could sneak away for a second.

“Okay, okay! No need for physical violence” he chuckles and allows her to walk past him. “Please, go right on your way ma’am.”

Rolling her eyes, she makes her way to their shared master bedroom, but stops when she hears a whimper. Quickly backtracking she quietly opens the door to the nursery just a door over.

It never fails to make her smile when she sees her two month old babies asleep in their cribs. It was unexpected, her pregnancy. She was told she could never have kids after what she went through, so when the inevitable feeling of nausea arose out of no where she was worried. Not only that but Shawn was worried. He was worried that she was getting sick again. She had just gotten over her last bout of sickness, and it really took a toll on her body. Just over a year and a half ago she had been diagnosed with cancer. It was aggressive cancer, as well as rare, lymphoma, which occurs in less than 8,000 people a year.

However, they were greatly surprised when they got the news that she was pregnant. Not only that, but pregnant with twins. This took a major toll on her body though. Y/n was in and out of the hospital. She struggled to carry them, due to her already weak state, but she wouldn’t change it for the world.

And there’s more...have an idea how this should end? Let me know

#shawn x reader #shawn mendes #fluff #please give me feedback #any requests?#thank u

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i-will-be-forever-yours · 4 years

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Don’t Leave Us

A/N: Another Shawn x reader fic...please give me feedback about it! if you like it...give me your ideas too! I have limited ideas guys! Thanks for reading and I hope you all like it

Warnings: angst, pre-term labor (not detailed) fluff at the end

Summary: Shawn is going on tour, leaving his pregnant wife, and her neediness causes a fight. What happens when he leaves without a goodbye, and ignores her?

Word Count: Like 2.2k ish

posted 12-21-19

my masterlist

“Hey love, what’s that you’ve got there?” Shawn asks y/n, his thirty-two-week pregnant wife. He peeks over her shoulder to see her thumbing through their wedding album, and it warms his heart while bringing a smile to his face. She is sitting criss-cross in the middle of their bed, facing their floor to ceiling windows that open to the beautiful view of the Toronto skyline.

She looks over her shoulder to see the man she fell in love with, smiling like a child at Christmas. “I was just looking at this for old times sake,” she chuckles. “We’ll have to show this little one when they are older,” she says while rubbing random patterns on her midsection.

He sits behind her, causing the mattress to dip a little more with the added weight and hums into her neck, rubbing his nose in the spot he knew got to her. She giggles at the gesture and playfully shoves him away.

“Shaaaawn!!! Stop that, it tickles!” she laughs. However, he soon pushes her down on the mattress and moves the album out of her hands, only to start tickling her sides viciously. He was still very gentle, aware of the precious being within her, but makes a fierce assault nonetheless. When he could tell she was getting tired, he stills his assault to her sides and flops down on his side while facing her. He reaches his hand and ever so gently caresses the swell of her midsection.

She positions herself onto her side to face him and caresses his cheek. They were there for a couple of minutes before Shawn hears a small sniffle. He immediately looks down and sees tears forming at the edges of y/n’s eyes. Quickly, he brings the hand that was on her bump up to her face, to wipe the tears away.

“What’s wrong, love? Are you hurt...is it the baby?” he questions in a frantic voice, while hurriedly sitting up.

She chuckles before saying in a broken whisper, “no...it’s just that I’m gonna miss you. We’re going to miss you.”

He looks her in the eyes while saying, “I know y/n, and I’m gonna miss you both as well, but it’s only for a couple of weeks. I’ll be back before he decides to join us.”

Smiling, y/n just nods in response before falling asleep. Shawn kisses her on the temple before carefully getting out of bed and wrapping the covers around her. He then heads back into their home office/studio to finish up his last minute things before he has to leave.

It is nearing twelve when he hears the padding of feet. Looking up he sees his wife’s head pop in the cracked door. “What are you doing up honey?” she asks after yawning. He barely shrugs his shoulders before looking back at his laptop to finish up his tour plans.

She feels a little hurt at his action but merely shrugs it off before stating, “well, I’m going to the kitchen to get some strawberries and peanut butter.” Padding off into the kitchen she rummages around before coming up empty. She is able to find the strawberries fairly easily, but there seems to be no more peanut butter.

Finally, she decides to ask Shawn if he knows where any might be. Making her way into the office, she quietly knocks before entering. “Hey, hun...do you know where the peanut butter is?”

She is met with a huff and him pushing his hands against the desk, sending his chair into the wall while he stands. His hands meet his hair, while they start to aggressively run through them. He leans forward, while his hands grip tightly to the desk before he replies “y/n I don’t have time to find the fucking peanut butter. Can’t you just use the Nutella or somethin’?”

In a shocked state, she replies, “We were just, you know, kinda craving some peanut butter.”

“Arghh, will you please stop blaming everything on the fucking baby! The baby is making my back hurt, the baby is craving this, or the baby is doing that! Just stop, you are the problem, not some stupid baby!” he yells in an exasperated voice. As soon as the words come out, he can see the hurt on her face and realization kicks in. He knows what he said and quickly goes to comfort her but she is backing up from him, refusing to let him touch her.

“Baby, I didn’t mean that, ‘m just stressin over leaving…” he tries to explain, but she just shakes her head dejectedly.

With a sad smile, she just turns and lets the tears fall. In a small broken voice, she barely gets out “I think I’m just gonna go to bed now, and if you really feel that way you can go stay with Connor tonight. I know your bag is packed, so you can just go, we’ll be fine. Bye Shawn, I’ll talk to you later.”

He is just left standing there, not knowing if he should go, or leave and let her cool. He decides with the second option and leaves for Connor’s house. The next day he doesn’t even text her to let her know he left. Even after arriving in L.A he refuses to text his wife, not wanting to be rejected once again.

Back home y/n is broken. She thought for sure that Shawn would come home to make up with her before he left. That was not the case, and he just left, without a call or text. She knew from posts online that he made it, but her stubbornness refused to reach out to him. All she had wanted to say to him was ‘Don’t leave us’. It had been three days without contact, and after being overwhelmed with stress, y/n forgot to eat and take care of herself. She was consumed with worry for her relationship, and Shawn. The stress had caused the being inside her stress as well. So much stress that she went into labor, but she was still only thirty-three weeks along. To say she was panicking would be an understatement. Never had she imagined this would happen. She was not prepared for this, she thought she had more time. The nursery wasn’t even finished.

She immediately called Shawn when she felt the spasms in her midsection after calling the emergency services for help. However, her calls when straight to voicemail. Hysterically crying she calls Connor and when she hears his voice she cannot help but let out a relieved sigh. “Connor? Can you tell Shawn that I’m on my way to the hospital and to call me.”

There is a pause on the other end before he asks the inevitable, “why are you going to the hospital y/n?”

“Just tell Shawn for me?” she asks, and Connor can hear the sound of a door opening and the faint sounds of Y/n talking to the paramedics. There’s sounds of movement on the other end before she picks the phone up again and utters a incoherent goodbye. The call is ended and Connor is left standing there in shock and worry for a moment.

Since he met Y/n, he has had a soft spot for her. He could tell how happy she made Shawn and he’d be damned if anything happened to you. He also knew about her condition and that it was relatively early in the pregnancy and that worried him even more. It left his rushing until he was standing before Shawn’s door knocking wildly.

Shawn is lying on his bed when he sees his wife’s face fills his phone screen. He smiles at the picture but denies the call, not wanting to fix the issues over the phone, but waiting to do it in person. The picture was one when she had just woken up and had a soft, sleepy smile adorning her face. He is broken from his daze when he hears banging on his door and quickly jumps off the bed and strides to the door, only to see the red face of his friend Connor staring at him. “Buddy, I don’t know what the hell is going on between you and y/n but you need to get home to her. She really needs you right now Shawn, and I already texted Andrew and he’s going to send out a notice that you can’t perform the next shows.”

“I cannot go home yet, I still have to perform for a couple of weeks before I go on maternity leave.” he chuckles with a confused stare.

“No! You don’t understand! I spoke to Andrew and you are heading home in…” he looks at his watch, “in...less than two hours!”

“And why the hell would I do that Connor? You have no business coming here and telling me how I should fix my life. I can do that on my own, and I don’t need you in my business,” he replies, getting more annoyed and confused by the second.

“It’s because your wife called me when I’m guessing you didn’t answer and told me she was on her way to the hospital. And then I heard the emergency people talking to her and then she ended the fucking call!” he said without taking breaths.

Shawn just stared for a moment before running back into his room and throwing his suitcase on the bed and shoving everything he could grab into it. “Did she say why she was going to the hospital?” he yelled over his shoulder.

“No, ‘m sorry but when I asked she just told me to let you know.”

Nodding to himself, Shawn packed everything and ran to the lobby. Knowing everything would be taken care of he let his mind wander to why Y/n would be going to the hospital.

Shawn was a nervous wreck the entire flight, and various ideas flooded his head at the thought of y/n being taken to the hospital. Once he arrived he was like a bat out of hell and rushed through the airport with his security and into his awaiting uber. Finally arriving at the hospital, he ran to the room that he had been told she were in. However, what he saw made him want to cry.

There y/n was, with tubes up her nose and various ones sticking in her arms. What scared him most was that she was still, and there was no longer a swell to her midsection. He moved like a sloth, inching slowly to the side of the bed. Slowly he pulled up and chair and grabbed y/n’s hand in a vice grip, now and then kissing her hand and whispering for her to wake up.

It felt like hours, but in reality, it was only minutes when he saw the flutter of her eyes. She was staring at him, and that’s when he saw it. He saw that she had not been taking care of herself in what looked like days. “Oh baby, what happened?” he asked while leaning up and pressing a kiss to her forehead.

She let out a sob before she moved her hand to his soft curls, running her hands through them to soothe herself. She then moved her hands to her midsection, only to realize the swell that had been there was now gone. Her eyes went wide before a sob was released. “Shawn, the baby! What happened to my baby?”

Shawn could see the panic in her eyes and quickly called for a doctor before she slipped into hysterics. The doctor and nurse came running in and were pleased to see that she was awake, but alarmed when they saw Shawn struggling to hold down her trembling body from getting up.

“Oh, it’s good to see you awake Mrs. Mendes,” the doctor said. While motioning for the nurse to start the check up.

“Where’s my baby, I need to know where he is.” y/n cried to the doctor while fearing the worst news. She was no longer trying to get up while the nurse went through the list, but her heart still pounded in her chest.

“Well you see, since you were only thirty-three weeks into the pregnancy when you went into labor, there were some...complications. You unfortunatly had passed out on the way here, and when they brought you in, you were barely holding on to consciousness, so we had to do an emergency c-section. You didn’t have the strength to go though a natural labor ma’am.”

“That didn’t answer my damn question! Where. Is. My. Baby!” y/n yelled through gritted teeth, while Shawn sat at the edge of the bed clutching her hand in his trying to soothe her, but in reality he was terrified himself. He feared for his baby boy and also for Y/n and what would happen to his marriage if they had lost their baby boy.

“Yes, as I was saying, there were complications. There was some unexpected bleeding, and we had to fix that, but it’s okay now. But your baby...well all I can say that he is a fighter. He is very, very tiny being born so early, but he will make it. Right now he is in the nique and will have to stay there for a bit, but you can visit him and he will be good to go home very soon. You will also have to stay for a couple of days to make sure you recover properly as well.” the doctor smiles gently at the shaken couple.

Relieved sighs left their mouths as they both embraced each other and cried tears of joy. The doctor quietly stood as they embraced, and was about to leave when Shawn looked up and asked, “What caused her to go into preterm labor?”

“Well, it could be several things, but it seems that high blood pressure and added stress was a major factor. It also seems that Mrs. Mendes was a little malnourished and dehydrated, but that can all be fixed with a couple of days of rest and proper food intake.”

Shawn nodded and the doctor took his cue to leave. It was quiet for a while before Shawn broke the peacefulness by caressing y/n’s face and brushing away the tears with the pad of his thumb. “I’m sorry for neglecting your needs y/n. It’s my fault you went into labor, and we could’ve lost him because I failed to be the father and husband I’m supposed to be.”

“You are not the cause of this, and you are the best husband I could’ve ever wanted. I wouldn’t want to have a baby with anyone else. And he is okay, we didn’t lose him okay? I love you, Shawn.”

He smiled at her, and let the tears flow, before colliding his lips with hers. It was not the hungry kiss, nor was it a simple peck on the lips. It was a kiss that was like their first. It was meaningful.

Later that day they both saw their baby. y/n was pushed in a wheelchair because she was still weak after surgery. They saw their little boy through the glass, and their hearts felt complete. Never had they felt so much love for such a tiny being. They loved him with all they had, and they were a family. They were gonna be just fine.

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guyyyys......sooooo what did you think? if you liked hit please like it and repost!! give me your beautiful ideas...I think I'll add that requests are open! thank you so much for your time reading this

#shawn x reader #pregnant reader #angst to fluff #kinda bad writing #shawn mendes imagine

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i-will-be-forever-yours · 4 years

Text

Please Don’t Yell

A/N: This is another Shawn x Reader imagine...hope you all like! Feedback is always welcome, and feel free to share. (i have no life guys)

Warnings: some angst, yelling/fighting, cussing...but hey that’s just me...verbal abuse...descriptions of Panic Attack

Summary: Shawn and y/n have been together ever since he picked up the pieces when her last relationship left her broken. She flinched at any yelling and Shawn was very aware of that and respected that...but what happens when stress consumes him?

Word Count: 1.7k

posted 12-19-19

Broken. That’s what y/n was after their last relationship. It was a year of pain, verbally. They were belittled and abused through the sharp double-edged sword that is the tongue. It broke them little by little each day, making it harder and harder to pick up the scraps the next day and carry on. That’s how Shawn found her. They had been friends for so long, since the tender age of ten. They used to consider themselves to be best friends, but they drifted as all friends do when his fame arose. It was hard for her to lose him, for she felt isolated without his presence. After that nearly broken friendship she threw herself into work, but it just wasn’t fulfilling. She worked as a receptionist at a law firm to get her through college. Since her job felt so bland she chose to go out every week to bars and get drunk. It was a bad cycle, and she just seemed to be going in a never-ending circle.

It hurt, but she then met this man. A tall, muscular man who she fell hopelessly for. He asked her out and for a while, it seemed like a good relationship. After just two short months, she was leaving her small apartment and moving all her belongings to his condo. Soon though, the flaws and bad habits of this man started to come through. He was abusive in drinking and he was also abusive to y/n.

No, not abusive physically, but verbally he was brutal. Every day it seemed she lost a little of her self. “y/n you are so fucking stupid you bitch! what?! did you honestly think I loved you? you are nothing to me. I just kept you around for a good blow job!” That was the last time she saw him, before running out of his condo with only her essentials. She never went back, too scared to go back. She ran into the only place she felt safe now...a small coffee shop where she would always go with Shawn.

She was there in a corner booth with her head in her hands, tears streaming down her face when Shawn walked in. At first, he didn’t recognize her, for it had been 5 years. He looked closer and his breath hitched for a couple of reasons. Firstly because she was so beautiful, even more so than before and secondly because she was crying. He strode over and gently put his hand on her shoulder.

“y/n? is it really you?” he whispered.

She looked up from her hands and gasped. Not only had he grown up from his boyish looks, but he had built up muscle and grown his hair out a bit. All she could do was stare for a bit, but there were too many thoughts and emotions going on in her head to say anything. He sat down, a little apprehensively, cautious of her upset state. “what happened y/n? who did this to you?” he said while grabbing her hand.

She could only cry for what felt like hours, but she later opened up, telling him about her relationship. The beauty was that he listened. In her past relationship that had never happened. Shawn however listened and was there for her. It wasn’t for another six months before he asked her out. The answer was yes, but she moved with much caution.

He respected her and treated her with kindness and understanding. Now, three years into the relationship they are closer than ever. They are an envied couple and he even has a ring in his sock drawer but is just waiting for the right moment. Just waiting for the right opportunity to ask her. He knew from the moment in the coffee shop that he loved her. However, right now he is under a lot of stress. With his upcoming tour and everything that it entails. It has just pushed him into isolation and made others walk on eggshells around him. Always worried that they’ll be the one to make him snap. However, y/n hasn’t seen him in a couple of days since she was out of town on a business trip, and is unaware of her boyfriend's current mood and stress level.

When she walks into their shared condo, she expects a greeting from her boyfriend. She is assuming it will be a long night of showering each other with “love” for that usually occurs when one of them has been gone for some time. However, she is met with an eerie quiet, not even the strumming of a guitar was heard in the faint distance. She wandered the condo in search of her boyfriend and was about to all out for him when she saw a faint light coming out of the office that he used.

She walked in without knocking because that’s what she always has done, but today it was a bad idea. She saw the hunched-over figure of Shawn, typing quickly on his laptop. He doesn’t even look up when she walks in, so she slowly walks up behind him and wraps her arms delicately around his front, with her back pressed up against the chair he is sitting in. However, he just shrugs her off, which causes a little pain to ripple through her. Not physically but emotionally.

She stands off to the side hoping he will acknowledge her presence, but after five minutes of waiting, she is getting a little upset with his standoffish attitude. So she clears her throat before saying just above a whisper, “Hey Shawn, I missed you.”

With barely a nod in response, she decides to leave him in his peace and quiet. ‘Two can play at that game’ she thinks to herself. So she makes her way to their shared bedroom and changes into a sparkling blue dress with a sloping neckline that she was planning on saving for a special date but decides to wear it out of spite. She calls up her best friend Emily to let her know that she was going out to a club.

Thirty minutes later she is getting into Emily’s car, in her beautiful, short, blue dress and perfect makeup, ready to have fun after her time away. She doesn’t even bother to leave a note for Shawn, assuming he wouldn’t notice her absence anyway. However, she didn’t realize she had forgotten her phone in the bathroom, next to her makeup. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It was nearing three am when y/n returned to the condo, stumbling in the door after one too many shots. She was still sober enough to form thoughts and walk in a semi-straight line, but was just slightly foggy. However, she quickly sobered up when she saw the angry face of Shawn who had just turned around from pacing in the entryway.

With his hand to his temple and jaw clenched he asked, “Where the hell have you been y/n? I called you so many fucking times and texed you...until I realized that you left your damn phone here. What were you thinking going out all alone? Gosh dammit, why don’t you use your brain sometimes?!?” He picked up her phone a threw it past her head, shattering a picture of them from last summer.

She just stood there for a second, while her heart rate picked up speed. She started to sweat, and it felt like her airway was being constricted. This was all too familiar with her past relationships. It was starting to scare her, so much so that she backed up against a corner, and was now on the ground hugging her knees to her body.

Shawn didn’t seem to notice her scared look and yelled again. “Are you going to fucking answer me y/n? I don’t have all day for this!”

By now she was sobbing uncontrollably, and couldn’t get air into her lungs. The pain was like fire, and it was spreading throughout her. Her chest hurt, she was unable to breathe and slowly everything was becoming dark and blurry. It was then that Shawn noticed her distressed state and he started to worry. He could tell she was having a panic attack and needed to breathe.

He quickly crouched down and grabbed her by her shoulders. She flinched at the contact and it was breaking him. He did this to her, the woman he called his true love. “Hey, y/n, love...look at me” he tried to coax. “You are having a panic attack, okay? You need to breathe with me, babe. Come on, it’s okay.” By now he was on the ground too, holding her against his chest.

After nearly thirty minutes of them just sitting there, him whispering his love to her, he felt her breathing even out. He looked down to see her angelic face, with tear-stained cheeks, in a light sleep. Carefully, as not to wake her, he lifted her off the ground bridal style and made his way to their bedroom. He laid her down on the bed and started to take off her shoes when he saw her move.

y/n looked down at Shawn and saw his red puffy eyes. She signaled him over to her, which he did so immediately. Sitting on the edge of the bed near her head, he softly brushed some hair behind her ear. She smiled up at him, and although no words were spoken, he understood that she forgave him. They sat there is peace for a while before y/n made the effort of getting up. Shawn looked at her and quietly helped her up into a sitting position, before she leaned into him, hugging his torso. Lightly laying his head on hers, he slowly rubbed her back. “Shawn…”

Looking down he saw those deep y/e/c eyes looking up at him. Silently he nodded for her to continue. “I love you, you know that right?”

He simply smiled and nodded, and placed a kiss upon her temple. Finally, after minutes of comfortable silence, she said in a small, broken voice, “Please don’t yell, it scares me. I- uh I don’t know why...well I do but...uh..” she stuttered.

“Shh, shhh baby. I know I fucked up. I was just so worried that something might have happened to you. I didn’t mean to scare you, love. Will you forgive me?”

“Of course Shawn. No matter what, you are my one true love” she sighed and once again laid her head against Shawn’s broad chest.

“And you are mine” he whispered.

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Thanks for reading! Please like and if you want ...cough*reblog*cough... and also send in any ideas for me to write! Its Christmas break so I have time!

#shawn x reader #angst to fluff #female reader #panic attack #shawn mendes imagine

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i-will-be-forever-yours · 4 years

Text

Masterlist

I write for whoever really...if you have an idea I am open to writing it...thank you for reading The newest stuff is at the bottom. I will be posting something this weekend!

Updated as of 4-4-20

F: fluff

A: angst

S: smut

Shawn Mendes Imagines

Trust Issues Pt. I Pt. II F and A

Summary: Shawn and Y/n have been married for a year and a half and he seems to be drifting. Will trust put this marriage at risk?

Please Don't Yell A and F

Don’t Leave Us F and A

Summary: Shawn is going on tour, leaving his pregnant wife, and her neediness causes a fight. What happens when he leaves without a goodbye, and ignores her?

You are my Strength minor A but really F

Cuts Run Deep A and F

Summary: Shawn and Y/n are so in love, but words can hurt and cuts run deep. Can Shawn bring her back and show how much he loves her???

Harry Style Imagines

Their spot F

Summary: Harry is ready to take the next step and has the perfect way to ask y/n.

#masterlist

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i-will-be-forever-yours · 4 years

Text

Their Spot

A/N: Just wanted to post something really cute a fluffy...its unedited...feedback is always welcome. also i didn’t do his accent so...

Warning: FLUFF

Summary: Harry is ready to take the next step and has the perfect way to ask.

Word Count: Less than 1k

posted 12-11-19

Who’s gif is this? lmk

Perfect. That was the one word that y/n could use to describe her relationship with Harry. Yes, the one and only Harry Styles. Of course, like all couples, they had their disagreements, but it was a rare occasion when they fought. Usually over petty things that were forgotten or dismissed.

It wasn’t always this way. They had started out as just friends, each watching as the other’s heart got broken time and again by a dead-end relationship. It wasn’t until y/n’s sophomore year of college that Harry finally got the guts to ask y/n out. It was hard for him when y/n declined, saying she didn’t want to pursue a relationship. However, Harry was persistent and waited. Some force told him that she was worth fighting for. So he kept waiting, and finally, she agreed. That was three years ago and their relationship has only gotten stronger.

They only had eyes for each other, and everyone knew. Y/n was studying to be a nurse, while Harry was increasing in fame. Girls threw themselves at him daily, but he only had eyes for her. That brought him to this day, the day in which he was going to propose. He didn’t want it to be a huge, broadcasted ordeal, but rather an intimate thing between the two of them. He was a nervous wreck, but the butterflies in his stomach were due to his excitement.

He had it all planned out, up to the last detail. The idea was to recreate their very first date. Yes, it sounded kinda cliche, but for both of them, it was special. Not only was it the spot of their first date, but it was a recurring spot for major things in their relationship. It was there that they shared their first kiss, and also where they have cried and laughed together.

Flashback “Harry! Where are you taking me?” y/n giggled. She was blindfolded and completely clueless as to where they were. Only having trust in Harry to lead her safely.

“Don’t worry y/n, i know you will love it. Just be patient my love,” he stated. Him saying that sent shivers down her spine, and she couldn’t help the anxiousness and excitement that buried itself in her stomach. “Okay y/n, i’m gonna take the blindfold off is 3… 2… 1…”

Off it went, and as she looked around she was completely breath taken. They were in front of a small restaurant that had hanging lights strewn around the entryway. It was a very cozy place, serving Italian food. They laughed and talked for hours, as only close friends could.

-Time skip to the end of the date- Strolling outside the shops, y/n leans into Harry. “Thank you for tonight, it was amazing.” Looking up into his eyes she smiles, and his heart melts. He knows then and there that she is the one. He doesn’t reply but simply kisses her forehead. He walks her home, and leaves her with a kiss on her hand, wanting to savor the moment.

-end of flashback-

It was also there, where he cried with her. He was there for her when her mother found out she had cancer. He was there for her when she passed away only six months later. Never ceasing, he was her rock in the hardest times. She never would forget that, and it only grew their love for each other.

Finally, the time came. They were seated at the same table, with Harry’s hand holding onto y//n’s hand. Looking into her eyes he knew he was so madly in love with her, and his feelings were reciprocated fully.

Clearing his throat he said in a tone barely above a whisper, “y/n...uh...i have known you for most of my life. You were my partner in crime when we were younger and my best friend. You were a constant in my life y/n and picked up the pieces after many failed relationships. When i asked you out that one day and you said no i was devastated, but i knew you were worth the fight. I am so glad i never gave up because these past three years have been the best years of my life. You make me a better person y/n and for that i am grateful. I love you with all my heart and i cannot envision a life without you by my side.” He slowly stands up and wipes the tears from his eyes before reaching into his inside pocket to grab the black velvet box. Slowly bending to one knee he whispers, “y/n will you do me the honor of making me the happiest man on earth...will you marry me?”

She cannot believe it, and with tears in her eyes, she nods. At a complete loss of words. He reaches for her hand and places the ring on, the smile never leaving his face. He stands up and they crash their lips together. It is not a hungry kiss, but symbolic. It is an action for the words not said, but the emotions felt.

They were married exactly one year later, on the same date as their first date. This place always will be special for them and holds their best memories. They rented the small, cozy restaurant out for their wedding and reception. With only close family and friends. It is such a beautiful intimate wedding, and people could feel the love radiating off the couple.

Three years after they got married they were once again at the restaurant. She ordered water this time and gave Harry a bottle and onesie saying “daddy’s favorite baby”. They once again shared their happiness and joy here. Now, even to this day, y/n and Harry go on their anniversary to celebrate what the place means to them. Now they are accompanied by their three children. A place of happiness and love.

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Love you all! thanks for reading...lmk if you have an idea for an imagine... I really like angst...so hmu because my brain can only think of a few ideas

#harry styles #harry x reader #fluff #y/n #harry styles imagine

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i-will-be-forever-yours · 4 years

Text

Trust Issues Pt.II

A/N: Sorry it took so long...life if frickin insane. Anyway..love to all you who spent time reading. Sorry for the grammatical errors and spelling. Hope you like it and send me ideas for another story and with whom. reblog if you would like plzzzz

Part One Here

Warnings: Angst-Fluff, not much language...ummm yeah

Summary: Shawn and Y/n have been married for a year and a half and he seems to be drifting. Will trust put this marriage at risk?

Word Count: 1.2k

posted 12-4-19

If this is your gif..hmu so I can credit you!!!

Shawn looks down at his phone again. He has tried to call y/n over fifteen times in the past hour since he texted her to come home. Just as he is about to call again, a notification from his local news app pops up. Some gut instinct told him to click on the link, and sure enough, intuition was correct. The headline states, “Y/n L/N-Mendes has been in a serious accident.” He doesn’t even read the rest of the article before he’s rushing into their shared closet to put on some clothes and his shoes so he can rush out of the house.

In his haste, he kicks over some shoes of hers near the back of the spacious closet. He barely glances down but does a double-take when something catches the light and draws back his eyes. Looking closer he bends down to pick up three white plastic sticks. He turns them over and sees the word POSITIVE on all three. It doesn’t take a genius to know what this means.

He stumbles back out of the closet in a dazed manner and sits upon the edge of the bed with a thud. His mouth is agape and he cannot stop the flow of tears as he recalls the words he threw at her just a short while ago. He is even more worried for y/n and now his unborn child. Why did he have to be so stupid and rash he inwardly scolds. Those and other thoughts are crashing around his head. It feels like a hurricane and he is unable to reel back his raging thoughts and emotions. He’s on the verge of a breakdown, and the room starts to spin a little, while the edges of his vision get a little blurred together. However, he calms himself down by breathing in and out multiple times. There are more important things, and he has no time to waste time crying at home.

Knowing he needs to get to y/n as soon as he can he puts on his old white vans and a hoodie before he sprints out the door. He tries his best not to speed to the hospital but seems to hit every red light. “Gosh dammit! Move!” he yells at no particular car while hitting his steering wheel with his fist. Tears are pouring down his face as he thinks that his last words to his beautiful wife may have been him screaming at her to just fucking get out of his face. He doesn’t even notice that he has surpassed the speed limit until the sounds of sirens and flashing lights flood his senses behind him.

Looking in the rearview mirror he sees the officer trailing him. So, with much reluctance, he pulls off to the shoulder and puts the car into park. Still looking in the mirror, he sees the seemingly middle-aged officer get out of the car and approach his window. Rolling it down he waits for the officer to speak.

“Young man, are you aware that you were going 15 miles per hour over the posted speed limit? Care to enlighten me as to why you are in such a hurry?”

Shawn looks down at his lap to his fidgeting hands before saying, “Yes Officer, and it won’t happen again...i-it’s just that my wife is in the hospital and I-I just found out she’s pregnant. And I told her to leave the house a-and she wouldn’t have been in a crash if it weren’t for me. I’m the worst husband ever.” he stutters out, once again on the verge of tears.

The officer looks at him with pity and nods. “Well, we better get you to the hospital as soon as we can.”

Shawn’s head snaps up. “W-what!? Really! Thank you so much, officer! Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

Chuckling, he replies, “I can see the love and worry you have for her, it’s not every day that I see that much love and devotion in such a young man.”

Shawn made it to the hospital in record time with the officer leading the way. Once he parked he was out of his car, sprinting inside to the front desk. He was met by a rather short woman with a bright, friendly smile.

“I’m here to see Y/N Mendes.” he stated while fidgeting with his hands.

The bright lady smiled up at Shawn and nodded. She typed a few things into her computer, before stating, “yes..um she just got out of surgery a bit ago, and is in room 219.” He nodded and was about to turn around when he heard her say, “oh...and sir, it will be just fine, she’s going to be okay.”

He just gave a halfhearted smile and made his way to her room. Each step felt like a mile, but as the room neared he began to get nervous, not knowing how she was going to react after their last conversation.

Nearing the door he took a deep breath before pushing aside his worry. Peering in he saw the cut and bruised face of his beautiful wife Y/N. He slowly neared the bed and pulled up one of the chairs. He was quick to grab the hand that had no tubes or wires in it, and softly placed kisses on it.

“I love you so much Y/N, and I’m so sorry for yelling at you baby. You just need to wake up for me, and you can yell at me all you want okay?” he sniffled. He looked up at her face, and just let the tears flow. Laying his head by her stomach he stayed there for what could’ve been hours or minutes. The stress of the situation finally overtook him, and he was welcomed into a deep restless sleep. Darkness surrounded him, but he didn’t mind.

He was awoken by scratching on his head. Still slightly asleep he peered up at his wife. He didn’t expect to see her gleaming, y/e/c eyes staring back at him. Fully awake now he jumped up and gently grabbed her face. Before any words were spoken he leaned in for a kiss. It was a beautiful kiss, relaying all the emotions that couldn’t be said.

Finally breaking for air, Shawn moved in closer. They were startled by the door opening and a nurse walking in. He just sat there as the nurse carried out the examination. Few words were spoken, but that was okay with him.

The doctor come in a few minutes after the nurse took their exit. Speaking to Y/n he explained the procedure, and the recovery process. She also stepped closer while Shawn stepped out of the room to answer a call from his mother, so he could update her about Y/n. In his leave the doctor also talked about their unborn baby. She covered how they were perfectly fine and there were no complications. Leaving the room, it was another couple minutes before Shawn poked his head in.

After a couple of minutes of silence, Y/N spoke up. “Shawn...I-I uh…”

He waited for her to continue, but when she didn’t he too spoke up. “I’m sorry Y/N. I was such a- such a dick. I yelled at you and kicked you out, a-and I made you crash. It’s my fault Y/N. I- I am so sorry, will you e-”

Before he could finish, Y/N spoke up. “Hey, don’t take all the blame. I didn’t trust you as a wife should. Don’t be hanging yourself for this...okay? I’m okay. I need you to be competent for our baby Shawn.”

Up till that moment, Shawn had forgotten, or more like avoided the subject for fear that something had happened to his unborn child, but it all came rushing back. Tears gleamed at the corner of his eyes. “Y/N, we’re going to be parents...wow.” he chuckled through his tears. He leaned in so that his forehead was touching hers, “I love you so much, Mrs. Mendes, and I’ll never yell at you again. If I do, slap me one.”

Y/N just chuckled, and connected their lips once more before whispering “I love you too Shawn.”

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Thanks again for reading...send me ideas for a new story...and feedback? do I need to expand my vocabulary and writing skills? lmk

#shawn mendes x y/n #shawn mendes imagine #yn #pregnant reader #angst to fluff #shawn mendes

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i-will-be-forever-yours · 4 years

Text

Trust Issues

A/N This is my first writing...that has actually been posted so it might be pretty rough. anyway... feedback is welcome! thanks for reading

Warning: Angst, some language...umm idk what else

Summary: Shawn and Y/n have been married for a year and a half and he seems to be drifting. Will trust put this marriage at risk?

Word Count: 1.8k

posted 11-18-19

Don’t know who made this gif but if u did hmu so I can give you credit

Y/n breathed a sigh of relief when she walked into their two-story condo. The paparazzi decided that they would not leave her alone since the news of her marriage to Shawn Mendes, even eighteen months after the fact. For them it was like being a kid in a candy shop.

They had dated for just over two years when she found herself in front of a kneeling Shawn, velvet box in one hand. She was happy, to say the least, and let the tears flow as she nodded, being at a loss for words. However, prior to dating they had been friends since they were both young, and they couldn’t be happier. Their wedding was a romantic day one with only close friends and family. It was a special day, filled with laughter and tears of joy shared between the couple.

However, at just a year and six months of marriage, it was already hard. Of course, the first year was pure bliss, and they were very much newlyweds. However recently Shawn had been more distant and Y/n didn’t like it. For the better part of the last five years, they had been inseparable, but he seems to be drifting. Longer nights at the studio, early morning at the gym. Even when he was home, his mind wasn’t, and a part of Y/n felt like they were falling. She wasn’t sure where they were falling. Whether it be out of love, or falling deeper into confusion, she had no idea, but she knew that something needed to change.

Shawn was getting ready to go on tour again, but that was nothing new. They had been through a couple of his tours while they were friends and even while dating. However, something seemed off with this upcoming one.

Y/n tried to brush off the uneasy feeling that settled in her stomach when she thought of her husband, but it just wouldn’t go away. To take her mind off things she decided to scroll through her twitter feed. The first thing to pop up was a picture of her husband and Camila, with the caption saying “Shawn’s new lover?”. She knew not to believe rumors and tabloids and had even grown accustomed to these stories. However, with Shawn’s recent behavior, she wasn’t so sure. Her mind told her to just stop but nevertheless, she clicked on the link that was provided.

She didn’t expect to find a picture of her husband’s face nuzzling into the neck of Camila, while she laughed and smiled. There were a handful of pictures of the two holding hands and laughing. It reminded her of when they first started dating. Young and in love, only having eyes for each other.

Pain and numbness spread throughout her chest at the thought that her husband no longer loved her. These thoughts were interrupted however by the sudden urge to throw up.

Jumping off the bed, she made a quick dash to the connected bathroom. She emptied the contents of her stomach and sat there on the bathroom floor. Her breathing was ragged and she kept dry heaving into the toilet, while trying to suppress the urge to cry.

She looked like a mess, with her hair in disarray and makeup running down her face from her shed tears. Her brain couldn’t form coherent thoughts, and she felt the sudden desire to sleep for hours. However, she picked herself off the floor to examine herself in the mirror. Wiping off the makeup and putting her hair in a messy bun she decided to get back on her phone. They had plans to go to dinner tonight, so y/n decided to call Shawn.

However, before the second ring, the call was denied. Deciding then to text him, she texted, “Hey honey, are we still on for dinner?” As she waited for his response she decided to check her calendar for her upcoming appointments and plans. While looking through it she realized something was missing. She had not had her period in two months, almost three.

She sat there on her bed in a nervous panic. What if she were pregnant? She hadn’t had sex with Shawn recently due to his busy schedule at that time, but based on the last time they had it would make sense. They were always so careful. This couldn’t be happening. Maybe it was just her body being irregular like it sometimes tended to be. The logical part of her brain denied these excuses though, because that’s what they were, excuses.

She immediately put on some shoes and a hoodie and drove to the nearest drugstore to pick up some tests. She was lucky to make the trip there and back without anyone snapping any pictures. The downside to having a famous husband was the unwanted pictures, but she loved him, so she made it work.

Once back safely inside the master bathroom, she undid all three tests and took them. She waited the time and when her phone alarm went off she froze. What if she were pregnant and Shawn didn’t love her anymore?

No time to think about that. She had to be positive, maybe this was the jumpstart her marriage needed. Taking a deep breath she grabbed the tests. They all read POSITIVE. She sat there for nearly five minutes before the waterworks started. Tears were streaming down her face, but there were so many emotions going on. She was ecstatic, scared, and angry. Ecstatic because she already felt so much love for this baby, but also scared to be a mom. However, she was angry at Shawn, angry that he didn’t reply and angry that he wasn’t here to share her joy.

She moved back to their room and hid the tests in the closet in some old shoes. As she made it back into her room she saw a message from Shawn saying, “sorry love, can I cancel tonight? I’m just really busy here at the studio.”

She let out a sigh because she was hoping to talk to Shawn over dinner. It seems she’ll just be eating alone again as she has for the past couple weeks.

Y/n is lying in bed when she hears the slam of the door. Looking at the clock she read that it’s midnight. She waits until she hears the heavy footsteps of her husband before she decides to get up. However just as she’s about to she hears his hushed voice saying “No i don’t know how i will tell her. Well, she will just have to deal with it. I know, it’s just that she is so fucking clingy sometimes, always calling or asking to go to dinner or do this and that.” ... “yeah i will, okay goodnight.”

She decides to pretend to be asleep when he walks in. Usually Shawn takes care not to make noise, but tonight he is taking no care to be quiet. She can hear him move about the room until he finally goes into the connected bathroom to shower. Not until the water turns on does she let out her emotions. Tears yet again stream down her face as she thinks about what her husband was saying about her. In her misery, she doesn’t even hear the water turn off nor does she hear as Shawn comes back into the room until she hears his soft voice.

“Y/n, what’s wrong love? Why are you crying?” he asks while reaching out for her.

She turns around to see the concerned eyes of her husband. She almost gives in until she remembers the pictures and his earlier conversation. Instead she looks away and answers “I am fine Shawn, just go to bed.”

“No, tell me what’s the matter! Why are you crying y/n?”

She looks up at him and bluntly asks, “Do you still love me?”

He is a little taken back by her question but is quick to reassure her. “Of course I do, why are you asking?”

She has to scoff at this. “What do you expect me to believe when I see pictures of you and Camila laughing and looking in love? And that conversation earlier? hmm...I think your exact words were she’s so fucking clingy!” she spit out at him.

His confusion quickly slips into anger. “What do you mean “looking in love”? I kissed her cheek, y/n! That’s is! You should know how close we are by now and yes I said you were clingy because sometimes I just need some alone time...ever think about that huh! I thought relationships were supposed to be built on trust. I guess you don’t trust me. Is that what I’m hearing?” He yells.

Y/n is now backed up to the headboard is fear and shock. Not once in their years together has he blown up on her like this. Her hands immediately reach for her stomach, even though she isn’t showing. It is almost a comfort, even just finding out. A way to protect the unborn being that rest within her, relying on her to keep them safe.

“I don’t know what to believe! You don’t talk to me anymore! I love you, Shawn, please just talk to me.” She sobs in a defeated voice.

However, his anger just seems to build. “I need to get away from you sometimes! You never give me a break, and you always want to talk or cuddle or whatever shit it is.”

She is crying now and just wants this nightmare to be over. However, it has reached its climax. “Get the fuck out of my face y/n. I cannot handle this anymore. Just go stay somewhere else.”

In a state of shock, she sits there. Until she makes eye contact with Shawn and that’s when she knows he means it. She rushes out the door with her car keys in hand. Once she is driving away she finally breaks once again. With a hand on her still flat stomach, she drives. She has nowhere to go because all her family and friends are in the states. They had moved to Canada to be close to his side of the family and his hometown.

However, being distracted while driving is not good. Especially when she’s been on the road for over an hour and emotionally exhausted. She looks down to see a message from Shawn saying “sorry love, please come back home...we can talk when you get back” As she is reading this she doesn’t see the car that ran a red light and barrels into her car, causing her car to roll multiple times before coming to a halt when it came into contact it a pole..

All she can hear is the sound of her phone ringing with the picture of Shawn filling her screen. She soon hears sirens before she slips into the comfort of darkness that is pulling her deeper into the abyss.

#shawn mendes #shawn x reader #shawn mendes x y/n #shawn mendes imagine #reader insert

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