Incorrect 911 Quotes
incorrect118 · 3 hours ago
Buck: I know you want to keep me safe, but the only way to do that is to wrap me in bubble wrap and hide me in a cave.
Eddie: Believe me, I’ve considered it.
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incorrect118 · a day ago
*Buck cooking*
Maddie: Any chance that’s for me?
Buck: It’s for Eddie. I’m planning on making some bad choices tonight, and I need him on my side.
Chimney: I never realized the forethought that went into being a disappointment.
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incorrect118 · 2 days ago
Bobby, addressing the squad: And if you have any suggestions feel free to put them in the suggestion box.
Hen: But – that’s just a trash can.
Bobby: It sure is!
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incorrect118 · 3 days ago
Buck: What's for lunch?
Chimney: *eating* Food, naturally.
Buck: No, I mean what are you having?
Chimney: An unwanted conversation.
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incorrect118 · 4 days ago
Bobby: In the name of the father, son, and holy ghost-
Chimney: Head, shoulders, knees, and toes-
Hen: Turn up your nose and strike that pose-
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incorrect118 · 5 days ago
TK: What are you drinking?
Hen: Vodka.
Tk: Straight?
Hen: No, I’m gay.
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incorrect118 · 6 days ago
Buck: i might be a dumb blond with low self esteem and a dysfunctional family
Eddie: But....?
Buck: That’s it.
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incorrect118 · 7 days ago
Maddie: have I ever told you that you cook well?
Chimney: no you haven’t
Maddie: so why do you keep cooking
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incorrect118 · 8 days ago
Hen, talking to Chimney on the phone: Did you preheat the oven like I told you to?
Chimney: You bet!
Hen: At what temperature?
Chimney: 535.
Hen: That's the clock.
Chimney: 536.
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incorrect118 · 9 days ago
Eddie: Sorry, but you're under arrest for robbery.
Buck: What did I steal?
Eddie *trying not to cry*: My heart.
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incorrect118 · 10 days ago
Buck: I've been thinking a lot about the fact that defining unwed cohabitation as "domestic partnership" implies that "feral partnership" also exists, and I think I've found a new life goal...
Eddie: ...
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incorrect118 · 11 days ago
Bobby: I made a mistake. Now are you going to help me fix it or are you going to continue to berate me?
Athena: I am perfectly capable of doing both at the same time.
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incorrect118 · 12 days ago
Bobby: Anybody here ever heard of critical thinking?!
Chimney: I don't think so. What are some of their songs?
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incorrect118 · 13 days ago
Christopher: With great power comes great need to take a nap. Wake me up later.
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incorrect118 · 14 days ago
Hen: I actually have a black belt.
Chimney: In what, karate?
Hen: No, from Gucci.
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incorrect118 · 15 days ago
Bobby: While I’m gone, Buck, you’re in charge.
Buck: Yes!!!
Bobby, whispering: Eddie, you’re secretly in charge.
Eddie: Obviously.
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incorrect118 · 16 days ago
Michael: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming
David: ...
David: Does anyone in this godforsaken group ever think before they speak
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