iwannalivewannalive

[iwannalivewannalive]

I wish you all a happy new year. I am proud of me I can finally say that i am not depressed anymore and i recovered well i wish you the same <33

#new year #shtumblr #su1c1d3 #tw selfhate #thoughts

[iwannalivewannalive]

I swear i try to be better but i always come back here and i am close to relapse but idk i think the time i went to the hospital because i tried to kms something literally died in me.

I dont know how to explain it, all had happened so fast that my brain just stopped working idk.

A part of me died that day and it scares me. I want to bring back this part but if i do it would kill me.

Im messed up

#tw self destruction #tw selfhate #self h@rm #shtumblr #su1c1d3 #tw cvts #tw cvtting #tw depressing stuff #i wanna kms #self destruction #tw sui mention #tw sucidal thoughts #tw suicude #tw sucidal ideation #i hate my brain

[iwannalivewannalive]

Im literally so stressed rn because im going back to school in 9 hours and i know i wont be with all my friends in the same class but i dont want to be alone either im so scared

#tw self destruction #shtumblr #su1c1d3 #tw depressing stuff #i wanna kms #self destruction #stress #anxi4ty #anxious

[iwannalivewannalive]

Now i'll go to high school im so scared of losing my friends

[iwannalivewannalive]

Hi im sorry i didnt post but i got a new phone and i finally find my password 💀💀

Anyway i see a therapist since january and im clean of sh since few month. But honestly i dont know if im proud of myself. Because all of this happened so suddenly and everything.

I also passed my exams very well I really studied (and cried) but here i am !

I will continue to post here and i hope you all are okay <3

#tw self destruction #tw selfhate #self h@rm #shtumblr #su1c1d3 #thoughts #tw cvts #tw cvtting

[iwannalivewannalive]

I'm tired....not sleepy just tired of life in general

[iwannalivewannalive]

Pov : mental breakdown

#tw self destruction #tw selfhate #shtumblr #su1c1d3 #tw depressing stuff #i wanna kms #self destruction #tw self destructive behavior #kinda depressing #deppresion

[iwannalivewannalive]

I don't feel real, like I'm in a movie. Or as if everything revolved around me. I know it's weird

#self h@rm #tw self destruction #tw selfhate #shtumblr #su1c1d3 #tw depressing stuff #i wanna kms #self destruction #self mutalition #tw self destructive behavior #dereality #kinda depressing #deppresion #sorry for being depressing #tw s3lf harm

[iwannalivewannalive]

I think I passed my exams well I was really stressed but I think it went OK

[iwannalivewannalive]

I have exams tomorrow. Im so scared.

#tw self destruction #self h@rm #tw selfhate #shtumblr #su1c1d3 #tw depressing stuff #i wanna kms #self destruction #self mutalition #tw self destructive behavior

[iwannalivewannalive]

No im not crying because of my homeworks....ofc not

#self h@rm #tw self destruction #tw selfhate #shtumblr #su1c1d3 #tw depressing stuff #i wanna kms #self destruction #tw self destructive behavior #tw suicude #tw cvts #tw cvtting #tw s3lf harm #sad but true #kinda depressing #sorry for being depressing

[iwannalivewannalive]

OMG I FOUND MY BLADES IN MY PARENTS ROOM I THOUGHT THEY THROW THEM AWAY

[iwannalivewannalive]

Wait I have a question

Where do you find your blades if you don't buy it ?

I know you can sh with blades in sharpener, razor but what else ?

#fresh cvts #self h@rm #tw self destruction #tw selfhate #self mutalition #shtumblr #su1c1d3 #tw depressing stuff #i wanna kms #self destruction #tw self destructive behavior #tw sh #self half #selfharn #self harrrm #self h4rm #tw self half #tw suicude #tw cvts #tw cvtting #tw s3lf harm #tw vent #tw sh relapse

[iwannalivewannalive]

I only have a pair of scissors. I guess it's better than nothing. I'll try to find blades but last time they didn't have any.

I don't want to be better. It scares me. I want to stay here.

#self h@rm #tw self destruction #tw selfhate #self mutalition #shtumblr #su1c1d3 #tw depressing stuff #i wanna kms #self destruction #tw self destructive behavior #kinda depressing #self half #tw suicude #tw sui mention #tw sucidal thoughts

[iwannalivewannalive]

Long time no see

[iwannalivewannalive]

My parents saw everything I had on my phone. EVERYTHING. They took away my blades. Fuck. I'm so dumb. I will maybe buy a razor I can't stay like this

#self h@rm #tw self destruction #tw selfhate #self mutalition #shtumblr #su1c1d3 #tw depressing stuff #i wanna kms #self destruction #tw self destructive behavior

[iwannalivewannalive]

Im alive.