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jord-w-bush · 3 years

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Turn off the Dark: Chapter 5

I am so sorry. I have had serious writer's block. This chapter has been done for a while, but I don't want to post a chapter if the next one isn't finished. Anyway, here's chapter 5. As always, message me if you want to be added to the tag list. You guys are amazing.

*Boring disclaimer here*

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Peter wasn’t sure what he wanted to say. After he had finished telling his Aunt May what had happened between he and Josie all those years ago, she had encouraged him to try and make amends.

“Sweetheart, this isn’t something that can’t be fixed. You were kids. As kids we do stupid things that we regret. I know you and I know Josie. She wouldn’t just throw you out into the street. If this is something you want to make right, you can. And I know that she will hear you. Go over there now, before you lose the drive.” She had lightly shoved him toward the front door, and before he lost his nerve, he made the short walk back over to the Butler house.

And that’s how he had found himself, speechless and snuggled up under a blanket with his ex-best friend. She was looking at him expectantly, and he shrugged his shoulder.

“I have a lot to say, and at the same time, I have no words,” Peter started carefully. He had been trying since the moment Josie had walked away from him all those years ago to figure out a way to explain his behavior, without revealing he was Spider-Man.

“I’m sorry. That should come first. I know that I’ve said it to you a million times, but I am. I am so sorry for the way that I let our friendship, the way that I let you, slip through my fingers. It’s not an excuse for why I said what I said, or what I did what I did, but I was overwhelmed. I had still not really processed Uncle Ben dying, and then Captain Stacy. Gwen and I were getting kind of serious, and it was hard for me to balance a healthy relationship, high school, and still be the best friend I had always been for you.”

Peter remembered how he had felt after their “break-up” for a lack of a better term. Any time he saw Josie at school, he felt waves of guilt and sadness. He had done what he thought was best to protect her, but in doing so, he had just hurt her. He knew her well enough to know that even though she was smiling and chatting with people in the halls or in their classes, she wasn’t the same. She was absolutely heartbroken. Their bedroom windows had faced each other, which had made for some mischievous plans when they were growing up, and with his “spidey senses” he had been able to hear her crying for a few weeks after he had said what he did to her. It tore him up inside.

“I didn’t know how to handle myself. I was scared of losing you to all your fancy dreams, and that eventually you’d get tired of me trying to figure out the balance on my own, and that you’d get rid of me. So I guess I did it proactively? Which was wrong of me, and I know that now. I knew the minute those words left my mouth. But I was embarrassed and confused and young and stupid. So so stupid, Josie.” He grabbed her hand from where it was resting in her lap and held it between both of his. “If you still have it in your heart to forgive me, I promise to spend as long as I need to to prove to you that I am sorry. You’re my best friend, and I can’t keep doing life without you. And I can’t bare the thought of not sharing in your success and cheering you on in the front row anymore.”

Josie was stunned, to say the least. She hadn’t expected him to say what he had. And with such conviction and sincerity no less. She had been trying to convince herself for a while that she was over the hurt he had caused her, and that she had moved on. But she knew that those wounds had never truly healed. She missed him too. She hadn’t really put much effort into making new true friends that she trusted, since she knew none of them would compare to Peter. But she was still hesitant. He had hurt her. And he knew it. There was a part of her that was scared he’d do it again. So that’s what she told him.

“Peter, how can I trust you? How do I know you’re not just feeling guilty now, and that you won’t just drop off the face of the earth again in like a week?” She asked him, pulling her hand from his grasp.

He shook his head quickly. So quickly Josie was worried he’d give himself whiplash. “Josie, I swear, I mean it. From the bottom of my silly, sorry, desperate heart.”

Josie looked deep into his eyes and knew he meant what he said. She was hit with a feeling she had never really felt when regarding Peter Parker. She pushed it to the back of her mind quicker than it appeared. That’s something to sort out another time, she thought to herself. He smiled softly at her, and after a moment, a grin grew on her face.

“Okay.”

“Okay?” He asked, to be sure that he had heard her right.

“Okay. But, we have to reinstate Pizza Friday. This is non-negotiable.” Josie laughed lightly. Once the pair had been allowed to walk to school on their own, they would always stop at a little pizza parlor on their way home every Friday. They’d split a large pepperoni pizza and a soda, and work on homework and talk about everything and nothing. It was a tradition that had continued almost every week from sixth grade until their senior year.

“Yeah, yeah! I can do Pizza Fridays. That’s something I could definitely do!” Peter laughed happily and slung his arm around Josie’s shoulder’s lightly. “Although, now that you live in the Bronx, we’ll have to find a new pizza place. I’ve been to that place down the street from your apartment, and it’s garbage.”

Josie chuckled, but then quickly realized what he had said, “Wait a minute, how do you know I have a pizza place by my apartment? You’ve never been there.”

Peter froze. He had never been there as Peter Parker sure. But he probably trailed Josie there as Spider-Man a dozen times since she had moved in, and had even stopped in to the family owned pizza shop during his nightly rounds. Hey, superheroes got hungry too!

“Uh, no yeah I know, I uh… I think your dad mentioned it once. I went there while I was out in the field taking pictures, and he told me that it was near your place. Yeah, that’s it I think.” Peter floundered for some kind of response that didn’t make him seem creepy or crazy. Josie narrowed her eyes at his response and said nothing. There was no point in going too deep too fast.

“Oh, yeah that makes sense,” she said instead, but it was clear between the pair that that topic was not dealt with honestly.

The two sat in a slightly awkward silence for a few minutes, simply stewing in the conversation that had just transpired. After a few minutes, Peter cleared his throat and looked down at his watch.

“Oh gosh, it’s getting pretty late, huh? I don’t want to keep you up, I’m sure you’ve had a long day. Besides, your mom has been watching us from inside this whole time, and I’m sure she won’t let you go to bed until you’ve told her everything.” The pair laughed loudly at that. Josie smiled at Peter. It was like a heavy weight was already lifted off her shoulders. Everything had always been easy with Peter. Maybe it could be like that again.

Josie turned around slightly, and sure enough, she caught her mother ducking away from the back window. She chuckled to herself, “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea. She’s gonna ask me a million and one questions about all this, and that’s going to take a solid hour.”

The two stood up from the swing and Peter immediately wrapped Josie into a tight hug. She reciprocated with equal energy. He pulled away slightly and looked down at her. “Can I walk you home tomorrow? It’s totally okay if not. I’d just like to catch up on the past three years of your life. I’m sure there is a lot I missed.” She nodded at him enthusiastically before pulling away completely.

“Sure! I’d like that. I was planning on leaving here around 11 and going over to your place anyway to talk to your Aunt about my show…as you know” Josie tucked a piece of hair behind her ear in embarrassment, remembering her dramatic outburst at dinner. “We could leave from there?”

Peter nodded and headed toward the Butler’s small backyard. When they were kids, the pair had constructed a small staircase on both sides of the fence, so it was easier for them to access each other’s backyards. He planned on going back to his house that way, so he could easily disappear from Josie’s view and start his evening rounds. Before he got very far, Josie wrapped her fingers around his wrist, effectively stopping him in his tracks.

“Peter,” Josie began, hesitating slightly at the familiar sensation running through her body at the gesture. She chalked it up to nothing and shook it off, “I missed you.” She said simply before allowing him the freedom to continue down the stairs.

He smiled widely at her, and was gone.

Josie took a moment to recenter herself, before turning back toward her house. She smiled at her mom, who guilty avoided eye contact with her. Hopefully she caught most of that through her eavesdropping, Josie thought, I’d really like to go to bed.

Taglist: @judoon-on-da-moon @amazingspiderfield @onewithtoast @queenc-x @akilee @saroo-hawks

#the amazing spiderman #spiderman #spider man #peter parker x oc #peter parker fic #peter parker #andrew garfield #oc tag #fanficiton #fanfic #tasm #marvel

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jord-w-bush · 3 years

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Turn off the Dark: Chapter 4

Whaaaatttt a new chapter?? This is a shock! Sorry it took so long for me to update! I hope you enjoy! To make up for it, this is a long one! I promise we're gonna start getting into the meat of the story soon! As always let me know if you want to be tagged or if you are interested in being a Beta! Mwah!

*You know what's what by this point right?*

Masterlist

Chapter 3

Chapter 5

Josie sat on the porch swing in her parent’s backyard, swinging forward and back aimlessly. She stared off into the distance, not focusing on any one particular thing. After she had stormed out of the house, she had faintly heard the front door open and close, and the front door to the Parker household do the same. Peter and May must have left after her little outburst.

She had almost immediately regretted it, but if there had been one thing in her professional life she had learned, it was to "commit to the bit”. So she had continued her dramatic exit. Josie laughed to herself, but sobered back quickly. She was still having a hard time understanding what had happened between her and Peter. They had been fine until a few days after the giant lizard, who she later had found out was Gwen’s boss, when he started acting strange and kind of distant. And it had only gotten progressively worst.

She was startled by the back door opening. She turned her head to see her mom approaching her with a blanket of her own. Josie shifted over slightly to make room for Marian, and smiled slightly at her.

The two women sat in silence for a few minutes, before Josie finally broke it.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make a scene. I’m just…frustrated.” She said, putting her head on her mother’s shoulders, “I just don't understand what happened. One day, we were fine. And then suddenly, we weren’t?”

Marian sighed. She felt for her daughter. Peter had been the first friend she had made when they moved across the country. She remembered that day well.

“Josephine! Can you help your dad bring in those boxes from the back of the truck?” Marian was currently unpacking some kitchen supplies from their boxes. Luckily, everything seemed to have arrived intact, so far.

“Sure, mom!” Her nine year old daughter called from up the stairs. She heard her little feet stomping down the stairs, and then the front door pushing open. She was proud of Josie. She had taken their big move in stride, never complaining. She had said many times that she was excited to live in a new place and make new friends. Josie had always been a helpful child, always offering to assist her parents in taking care of her two little brothers, who at the time were 6 and 4. She was willing to take on a lot for a third grader. Marian’s heart swelled with pride when she peeked out the front window and saw Josie helping her father lift boxes out of the moving truck.

Mrs. Butler’s eyes widened in fear when Josie suddenly tripped over the curb and landed face first on the sidewalk. She stepped out onto the patio right as Josie started wailing in pain and grabbing her scraped knee. Before either of the Butler parents could reach their daughter, however, a streak of brown hair raced from the yard next door.

A young boy, about the same age as Josie, bent down and grabbed Josie’s knee. “Oh no! Are you okay? That was a scary fall!”

Josie nodded silently and continued to hold her injured knee. “I’m Peter Parker! I live next door with my Aunt May and Uncle Ben! I could bring you a cool Power Rangers band-aid! Do you want to be friends??”

The small girl smiled at the boy from next door and nodded, suddenly forgetting about her bloody limb, “Sure! I’m Josie! We just moved here from Arizona! My daddy got a cool new job, so we just packed up all our things and came here! I’m really excited. One day, I want to be on Broadway!”

Sam chuckled at the sight before him and approached the pair, “Hey, Peter! I’m Josie’s dad, Sam Butler. Josie, go inside and let mommy clean up your knee and then maybe you and Peter can keep playing in the yard? As long as it’s okay with your Aunt and Uncle of course!”

Josie nodded excitedly and rushed into the house, “Let me go ask them!!” Peter said hurriedly before sprinting back over to his house and bursting open the front door. The two parent’s made eye contact with each other from across the yard and smiled at the interaction that had just taken place. It seemed their little girl had made her first friend.

Brought back to the present, Marian frowned slightly when she felt her shoulder grow wet. “Josie, sweetie look at me,” when Josie didn’t look up at her, she gently lifted her head with her hand. As she suspected, her daughter had a few stray tears rolling down her cheeks. “Josephine. Why don’t you tell me what happened? Help me understand what happened between the two of you, so maybe we can try to fix it together. I hate to see you this sad over something that happened so long ago.” She brushed Josie’s stray curly hair away from her face, and wiped the tears from her cheeks.

Josie leaned back and looked at her mother doubtfully. “Mom, I don’t even really get what happened. I don’t think you will be able to either. It’s just…bizarre honestly.”

“Try me,” Marian responded, patting her daughter’s leg gently.

Josie took a deep breath before diving into the story.

4 years ago

It had been a couple weeks since Dr. Lizard had attacked New York. Everything was slowly getting back to normal. Josie tried to be there for both of her friends who had just lost their father figures in the span of a few months.

“Peter! Slow down! Pete, wait! Peter Parker, I know you can hear me!” Josie was trying to catch up with Peter on his walk home from school. They usually walked together, since it was a bit of trek, and today after school he ended had just left without her. He had been doing that since he and Gwen had split up actually, but this was the first time she hadn’t been able to catch up with him right away. She sighed in relief as he finally slowed his pace so she could catch up with him.

“Geez Peter, I wasn’t expecting a full work out today,” she breathed heavily, clutching her side in pain, “You might have to carry me the rest of the way, I’m tired.” She laughed at her own joke, but when she looked up at Peter, he wasn’t grinning like he normally would at her antics. “Peter? Are you okay?”

Peter nodded and looked at his best friend, “Yeah, I’m fine. Look, sorry I left without you, I just was in a rush because I’m supposed to have dinner with Aunt May tonight.”

Josie shrugged and adjusted her backpack, “And what about the other times?” She laughed humorlessly, “You know you can’t lie to me, Pete. What’s going on? You’ve been weird for a while. I know you and Gwen splitting up hasn’t been easy for you…and you still won’t tell me exactly what happened between the two of you. But I sort of feel like you’re trying to…dump me too.” Josie’s volume tapered at the end of her sentence. She was afraid to say how she was feeling out loud, out of fear that saying it would make it happen. Peter Parker was her best friend in the whole world. Sure, she loved Gwen, but if given the choice between the two, she’d choose Peter every time. It had come as a bit of a shock when she found out that Gwen and Peter were dating, but she had eventually come to accept it. Right when she had, they split. Gwen had been pretty vague about their breakup too, but she had at least said that Peter was the one who initiated it.

Peter looked at Josie. She was staring down at her feet, kicking rocks out her path as they continued down the sidewalk. He had been trying to distance himself from her ever since Captain Stacy had asked him to stay away from Gwen. He had been right. Being Spider-Man put the people he loved in danger, and he couldn’t protect them all. He would never forgive himself if something happened to Aunt May or Gwen…or Josie. He had already failed Uncle Ben and Captain Stacy. He couldn’t fail again. But he was having a hard time staying away. He was drawn to Gwen. And Josie, try as he might, he just couldn’t let her go.

“I just think I need some space,” Peter said painfully. He saw Josie’s eyes close and her shoulder’s immediately sag in defeat. She nodded and looked up at him.

“Yeah, okay, yeah that makes sense. I get it. You’ve gone through a lot these last few months. You need time and space to figure it out. Just know I’m here for you, Pete. Always.” The pair had arrived at their respective homes. Peter waved half-heartedly at Josie, and she waved back before darting into her house.

***

Several days passed, and Josie was just trying to keep her head low and ride out the rest of the school year. She and Peter were not really speaking, and neither were her and Gwen. Josie was sitting alone at a table in her Chemistry class waiting for class to start, when Peter walked into the room. She avoided eye contact with him, but felt her heart rate pick up slightly when she caught him moving toward her in her peripheral vision.

He plopped down beside her, but didn’t make any attempt to start a conversation. In every other class the two friends shared, which was all but Josie’s drama class and English, Peter had gone to great lengths to avoid interaction with her. He had chosen new seats that were on the opposite end of the room as her, he had asked other students to partner up with him during in class and out of school work, and he had even started arriving late to some of them, just to avoid the risk of walking in at the same time as her. But today, he seemed to have changed his mind.

Finally, the brunette girl could no longer take the tension, and broke the silence. “Uh, Peter? I thought you said you needed some space?” She turned to look at him and he was already staring at her. He smiled slightly and leaned closer to her with a shrug.

“Yeah, but it’s kind of lonely in space, don’t you think? All alone, in the vacuum of the universe, with nothing but your thoughts to comfort you?” He replied. His tone of voice held a bit of comedy to it, but in his eyes she could see that he really had missed her. She smiled at him and bumped her shoulders against his, before turning forward as the class began. Maybe everything would turn out okay for the two of them.

“So I don’t get it,” Aunt May said to her nephew after he had finished telling her what had happened between he and Josie. “It seems like everything worked out just fine between the two of you. You made up and everything was fine. So why the outburst? What aren’t you telling me, Peter?”

After her dramatic exit from the dining table, Peter had immediately been filled with guilt and regret. He had been a terrible friend to Josie. He had been selfish, cruel, and stupid. He hadn’t treated her the way she deserved to be treated. She had always shown him grace, and forgiven him whenever had had upset her as kids. He had never seen her react to a situation the way she had as she left the house. He couldn’t sit in the house any longer, knowing that he had been the cause of her mood shift.

He just hadn’t known how to react around her. Sure, she had texted him, telling him she hoped to see him at dinner, but that was just how Josie was. She was a peacemaker. She didn’t really have any true enemies. She wasn’t that kind of person. Whenever she was even mentioned, by Aunt May, Mr. Butler, or even the news, he always felt guilt crash over him in waves for the way he had just let their friendship end.

“Peter? Honey, please, I’m trying to help you two. It breaks my heart to know that you and Josie have been living with this, well whatever this is, alone for the past few years. It’s not healthy. And you two deserve closure at least. You don’t have to stay friends, but you at least owe it to yourselves to work this out.” Aunt May grasped her nephew’s hand in hers and met his eyes with a piercing gaze.

Peter breathed heavily, and hung his head in shame. “The thing is that’s not really where the story ends. Things were fine for a while…”

“So, I made sure to reserve seven seats! Enough for my parents and brothers, and three for you, Aunt May and Gwen. You can all sit together. And if you’ll allow me a moment to brag, I got you guys some pretty killer seats.” Josie and Peter were walking home from school in the spring of their senior year. The next evening was the opening night of the spring musical, and Josie was playing the lead. She was feeling mixed emotions about the event, but the one that stuck out the most was excitement. And anxiety. Apart from her family, the most important person in attendance was the NYFA musical theatre department director. He was coming to see the show to decide if she was going to be accepted into their conservatory program the following year. A lot was riding on this show, and it was important to her that all of her biggest supporters were there.

Peter nodded excitedly, “I can’t wait! You’re going to be amazing, like always. And Aunt May is probably going to cry, like always.” He chuckled and the pair stopped in front of Josie’s house.

“House opens at 6:30, Parker! You better not be late!” Josie stated as she backed toward her front door. Peter saluted in lieu of a response and continued the few feet to his own home.

***

Outside, it was pouring rain. Peter was sitting in front of the TV mindlessly flipping through the channels. He had dropped Gwen back at her apartment about thirty minutes before and had come home to an empty house. His aunt hadn’t left a note, so he assumed she was working late. Suddenly, there was a loud knock on the front door. Peter flipped the TV off, and stood up from the couch. Who would be knocking on his door this late? It was almost midnight. He opened the front door, and his confusion only grew.

“Josie?” Before he could say anything else, she was shoving a folded piece of paper into his hands. He looked down at the object she had given him and saw a playbill for Midtown High’s production of Anything Goes. It all suddenly fell into place. “Josie, I-“

“You know what? Just don’t.” Josie said in an eerily calm voice, “Don’t bother. I’m sick and tired of your lame ass apologies. You knew how important this was to me! You KNEW. I’ve dreamt of getting into that conservatory since we were eleven! I needed you there cheering me on. Do you know how humiliating and devastating it is to look out in the audience and see those seats empty? It’s almost worse knowing you missed it because you were out with Gwen. At least if she had been there, you could have blamed it on traffic, or laryngitis. But you both let me down. You keep letting me down, Peter. I’m not expecting you to spend every waking moment with me, we’re not nine anymore but Jesus, have a little respect.”

Peter looked at the girl before him. She was drenched, and so was the program he was currently clutching in his hands. She caught his line of thinking quickly. She understood him like that.

“Yeah. I almost didn’t come up here. I almost wanted you to just figure it out. I stood out in the rain looking at your front door for maybe 10 minutes before I came up these stairs. But I’m tired. I’m tired of you disappointing me again and again and again and getting away with it. I keep letting you get away with it. And for what? Because you’re my best friend?” She knew the real reason deep down, but wouldn’t allow herself to believe it. “Well, that’s not gonna work anymore. I’m done letting you walk all over me. Ever since everything went down last year, you’ve pulled further and further away from me. At first, I thought it was because you were just too enthralled with Gwen to care about me. But then we moved past that and you STILL pulled away. You have missed basically every major life event for me and my family for the past year, with no explanation. If you don’t want to be my friend anymore just say so! I think I deserve at least that much!”

In that moment, Peter knew he had a choice. She was giving him a way to cut her loose so he could protect her. Gwen was a lost cause. She knew too much, and he relied on her to understand what he was really going through. But Josie, she was blissfully unaware that the young man she was currently reaming was galavanting around in blue and red spandex with the sun went down. He could give her a reason to never want to speak to him again, and then maybe, just possibly, he could keep her safe, by having her at a distance. So that’s what he did.

He looked into Josephine Butler’s eyes and said the one thing he never expected himself to say to the woman he loved most in the world. “You’re right. I don’t want to be your friend. I tried to let you down easy, hoping you’d get the hint, but clearly that isn’t working.” He looked away from her in that moment. He couldn’t bare to see her face any longer, but he had to drive the last nail into the coffin. “I didn’t want to have to say it, Josie. But I just, I don’t think you and I are meant to be in each other’s lives anymore. You just kind of…annoy me.” He heard her sharp intake of breath, and he knew he had said enough.

Josie didn’t even bother replying. He heard the shuffling of her feet as she turned to walk down the steps of his porch, and out of his life. He looked up to see her standing in the pouring rain, just looking at him. Face wet with a mixture of tears and the weather from above. She opened her mouth to speak, and he braced himself internally for her words, but he wasn’t expecting to hear:

“Not that you care, but I just wanted you to know. I got in.” And without another glance in his direction, she trudged back to her house and slammed the door behind her.

Present Day

“And after that I just kind of was alone. He had Gwen and I had…myself. She talked to me sometimes, when he wasn’t around, but I really wanted nothing to do with either of them. We graduated and I was able to focus on other things. And then when Gwen died, I did what I always do and tried to make peace, but he wasn’t interested I guess. I think that’s when I really let it go.” Josie and Marian both had tears in their eyes. Josie had had time to heal from that night and was tearful mostly because of her mother’s reaction. Marian couldn’t believe what she had heard. The sweet and awkward boy from next door, who she always thought would be Josie’s perfect match had broken her heart, and she hadn’t even known.

“I’m so sorry, Josephine. If I had known that you two had parted ways in such a nasty way, I wouldn’t have tried so hard to get you two to talk again. I love Peter, but you are my daughter and you deserve to be treated like a rare treasure by everyone you know.” Marian cupped her daughter’s cheek gently and gave her a small smile.

“I didn’t tell you because part of me was embarrassed that I hadn’t seen the signs earlier and let it get to the point where he had to dump me like that. But I also knew that if I told you, you’d tell May, and the two of you would do what you always do and try to fix it. And I really just don’t think Peter wanted it to be fixed. I still don’t. I mean you saw the way he was at dinner.” Josie looked at her mother with her sad gaze and she swore her heart broke all over again.

“I wouldn’t have if that was what you wanted.” Marian assured her. “I-“

Before she could say anything else, Mrs. Butler was cut off by the backdoor being opened. Neither women expected Peter Parker to step out onto the back porch. Marian wrapped her arm around her daughter’s shoulder and looked at Peter with a look of disappointment, and it broke Peter’s heart. It was obvious that Josie had told her mom everything. He couldn’t blame her. He had just gotten the same look from his aunt.

“Hi. I’m sorry to interrupt, and so late. But, Josie, I was hoping you and I could talk?” He asked. He was speaking to Josie, but it was almost a question for the both of them. He knew that Marian would send him away if Josie even gave an inkling that she wasn’t interested in speaking to him.

Thankfully, she nodded her head, and kissed her mother on the cheek, “I’ll be in soon,” She said, as the Butler matriarch stood up and brushed past Peter on her way back into the house. She gave one last glance at the pair, before shutting the door behind her. Peter hesitated for a moment before sitting down next to Josie. Against her better judgment, she pulled her blanket over slightly and allowed him to slip underneath like they had done when they were kids and Peter couldn’t help but smile.

Josie’s face remained serious. “Okay, you wanted to talk. So talk.”

Taglist: @judoon-on-da-moon @amazingspiderfield @onewithtoast @queenc-x @akilee

#the amazing spiderman #spider man #peter parker x oc #peter parker fic #andrew garfield #oc #fanfiction #tasm #marvel

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