kaijuscreech

[kaijuscreech]

i think i slept about 2.5 hours last night and i crashed when i got home but everything still feels awful. and i have the lurking thought that people are about to get tired of my bullshit if i can’t stop being a sad anxious mess

#vent #it's like everything is one extreme or the other #time passes unbearable slow or 'blink and you miss it' #i feel everything acutely or not at all. like being hollowed out #i'm tired and dunno what to do

[kaijuscreech]

some guy: uhhh there’s a leaf in your water

person who’s about to invent tea: oh haven’t you heard?

#ajkdlsf

[kaijuscreech]

Как приготовить тесто

#!!! #catbread

[kaijuscreech]

#ahaha #the vegetarian life #tagged for me #thanks :3

[kaijuscreech]

more practicing, portraits for the rest of the dnd party 

#kaiju draws #and now i must sleep -.-

[kaijuscreech]

some sketches, i honestly don’t know how to draw tabaxi even though i’ve been playing rin for a while now ;u; 

#MY BOY #kaiju draws

[kaijuscreech]

if i were a zombie i’d never eat your brain

back when i still went larping i had this plan for a looks-like-a-zombie character but i never got to play her ; ; it’s a damn shame because i really wanted to do the rot makeup 

#blood #gore #my characters #i thought about rebooting her as lich #along with my other two larp characters #cuz i think i could write them better now #also i heard this song recently and that's probably why i felt compelled to draw her #even though she's not really a zombie :x #kaiju draws #surprise i drew something not cute for the first time in a hundred years

[kaijuscreech]

self-confidence imploded today. it's been hours of body image bullshit and i feel like i can't function right now. gonna try to sleep and hopefully it will be okay in the morning

#vent #lots of things feel terrible and idk what to do about them #i'm exhausted #i feel like i should go running #it's maybe 20 degrees out #shit brain is like 'if you don't go out you could always purge' #can i just not have a physical form right now

[kaijuscreech]

i think i’ve reached some sort of anxiety equilibrium where yes everything is sort of piling up and katsu is in like 16 days and i still have 2 and a half props to finish and a wig to restyle and my time for doing this is limited to after work but....i’m somehow not super freaked out over it.  (check back in a week, things might be radically different)  today was a wash because i was exhausted coming home and i fell asleep til like 8pm and i can’t stay up too late tonight. but i think if i schedule everything out, and then really stick to it, i can get it done. my art discipline used to be pretty good about making deadlines

#kaiju screeching #health problems are still a concern #but if i start going to bed at a reasonable time then i should be able to get some crafting done after work #it sucks the sun goes down so early though. the only place i have to sand props is the porch

[kaijuscreech]

[kaijuscreech]

not feeling great this weekend, at first it was just tired and then it turned into tired and sad. a couple nights ago i had a dream where a former friend told me i’m a bad person and the reason why we’re not friends anymore. and i guess it was a really compelling argument because i woke up distressed and sorta convinced again. there’s other shit bothering me too, but it’s a lot of boring life shit. like wishing i could quit my job for art or at least switch to something else, but i have a lot of responsibility around here because bro’s job doesn’t pay as well so i’m afraid if i did that maybe we’d hit a point where we can’t make rent. i really do hope for the day i can change to a career i actually enjoy but for now i just gotta keep swimming

#vent #kaiju screeching #it's only 7:30 but i feel like i'm gonna fall asleep #and this is after sleeping til like noon #bluh

[kaijuscreech]

spent most of today on this because i am the slowest at working with fabric

#cosplay progress

[kaijuscreech]

imagine: magnus giving an Anime Protagonist Speech and the bad guy is like rolling their eyes bc yeah this seems like something he would do but in reality he’s buying time as merle and taako rob the dude blind and then knock them out from behind before the three of them bolt

#TAZ

[kaijuscreech]

Why are these chicken breasts fighting?

#!!!! #baby goblins #i love them

[kaijuscreech]

Whose idea was it to make mareep so dang hard to pet

#pokemon #MAREEP IS SO GOOD #when i first played gold i found one and caught her and took her all the way to the championship :3

[kaijuscreech]

#tagged for me #OMG #new favorite sport #it's so cute :3

[kaijuscreech]

お鼻おおきいさん。 横広がりで ふてぶてしいオスの顔になってて とてもかわいいです。

おはようございます。 Good morning from Tokyo Japan 🌧

#cat #a beautiful face