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ladybuggirl123 · 11 months

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ladybuggirl123 · 11 months

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The Ultimate Comprehensive Taxonomy Of The Friendship Breakup

After my last post I promised I would write something less terminally online.

A running theme in literally anything i’ve ever created is adolescence/growing pains/late stage youth etc. 11 yr old me probably thought I would be somewhat done growing up by now, but -as cliche as it sounds, I’ve barely begun. (I know, I’m sorry)

The hardest part of acting my big age is letting go of situations and people that no longer serve me. I love to wallow in nostalgia. If I could live inside of a memory instead of experiencing new and unfamiliar horrors everyday I would. Unfortunately, nothing can remain as it is in the present forever, and the relationships, places and physical manifestations of myself I have grown accustomed to could cease to exist at any moment.

This is something I find pretty easy to make peace with as far as romantic relationships go, but a friendship breakup is a whole other beast. As a romantic, yet flighty, and emotionally immature 21 yr old teenage girl I’m pretty aware I can’t rely on any of my sexual or romantic entanglements to last forever. So much so to the point where I can be extremely avoidant or self-sabotogical in these situations. However, I find it almost too easy to blindly trust that my platonic friendships will last and fulfill me forever. Maybe this is unhealthy… maybe it’s fine… doesn’t matter because that’s not what we are here to discuss.

Ultimately sometimes your friends leave, or you have to leave your friends, or it turns out someone you thought was your friend was never your friend at all. These dynamics and more we will explore today in my taxonomy of the friendship breakup. 😁

BREAKUP #1 “The Robert Frost”

This is probably the least emotionally disregulative breakup. Sometimes the girlies grow apart, sometimes two roads diverge in a yellow wood and you simply cannot travel both. Usually in this situation bridges aren’t burned and you still get to cheer on your ex bestie from the sidelines (liking their instagram story), and maybe someday your paths may cross again….

BREAKUP #2 “The Jekyll and Hyde”

Sometimes overnight and without warning your OOMF turns into your OOME. Maybe you saw this coming, maybe you were completely blindsided like sandra bullock (idk i didn’t see the movie). Regardless, this friendship breakup can have you questioning everything. Did they see you as a close friend the same way you saw them? Should you be more choosy about the people you let in close? Will you ever get the money you dropped on Car Seat Headrest tickets back? Inconclusive.

The important thing to remember in this situation is that if this person is a genuine shithead, the only thing you’ll miss about this friendship is the qualities the other person brought out in you. The best part is now that you’ve been made aware of these qualities you can call them forward at anytime + you don’t have to have a dumb snatchwhore bringing down your ethereal vibes.

BREAKUP # 3 “The Dorian Gray”

Most frequently seen in friendships between the mentally ill, the Dorian Gray can occur when one party cannot keep up with the other’s debauched lifestyle. I cannot speak on the experience of Dorian Graying another person (although I’m sure I’ve done it to a boring bitch or two), but I have been through my own personal Dorian Grayification a few times.

At first you are drawn in by the nonchalance and carefree attitude of your new friend. “How do they relate so heavily to what I’ve been through all while seeming so much cooler and more put together than I ever could?”, you may ask yourself. The answer is sex, drugs, and rock and roll music.

You’ll hang around them more and more and become cooler by proxy. Until one day you wake up in the middle of a 2 month long kratom bender, your joints ache every time you sneeze, your coughing blood into a handkerchief like it’s 1895, and your fighting homeless people in the park for $50 a win every Thursday night. Meanwhile, your friend’s skin is clearer than ever, they just started contributing 40% of their income to their roth ira, and they recently took up barre method classes.

These people don’t die. There is something different about them. You however, are a mere mortal and need to run away as quickly as possible before your life story becomes the source material for the next Harmony Korine film.

BREAKUP #4 “The Horror Movie” alternatively “DONT FUCK UR FRIENDS AT 4am GONE WRONG. GONE SEXUAL. SHE CRIED??!!????!”

Oops!!! You accidentally s*cked ur friends d*ck, or l*cked their cl*t or a*e their a*s, NOW WHAT?

Unfortunately for me, I have found myself in this situation multiple times. Because -as my ex therapist put it- I need to “work on being less seductive in inappropriate situations”. Whatever. If you are well adjusted in anyway this could be the beginning of a beautiful romantic relationship, but if you are anything like me it is the beginning of the end.

Shit gets awkward. One, or both of you will pull away or completely detach from the friendship. All the while pretending everything is perfectly fine. All this pain and suffering created because you liked each other a little too much and you’re just a little too sexy.

The only advice I really have is to think really hard before sleeping with a close friend… I guess. Or don’t cause low key it’s fun but I didn’t have to tell you that.

Look- sometimes as human beings we are over taken by horny demons, but what separates us from chimpanzees is we can fight those demons. So stop chimping out and don’t take your friendships for granted you sexy little minx.

BREAKUP # 5 “The Radiohead” (udoit2urself) (sorry this is the only title idea i had)

Well it had to happen at some point. You can’t be the victim your whole life (just most of it). Sometimes the breakup is irrefutably your fault and you are the bad guy. At least you recognize it!! Maybe you won’t make the same mistake ever again or- maybe you will.

You basically have two choices: to let the friendship dissolve or to try and salvage it. You are already a huge asshole right now, so try to be completely unselfish for one moment in your miserable life. What’s best for the other party? What makes the most sense in the grand scheme of things?

If you are letting it be you again have two choices: to apologize or to not. Sometimes you are going to act like such a huge cunt that genuinely, for your ex friends peace, you should never speak to them again. Most of the time a well thought out apology goes a long way.

If you want to make things work again, it’s going to be on the other person’s terms. There’s a chance they won’t want to be your friend ever again, and if they do want to be your friend you’re not going to pick things up where they left off. It takes time to rebuild trust, it can sometimes take years to regain the closeness you had before.

On the bright side, a friendship empire that has fallen and been rebuilt is one of the strongest forces known to man. It provides pretty solid evidence that you have each other’s best interest in mind even when you disagree or don’t get along.

xxxxxxxxx

I’m not really sure how to close this. There isn’t a lot I could say to spin anyone leaving your life before you are ready to let go into a good thing. I think we all struggle to deal with the fact that we can’t control how other people perceive or treat us.

I guess over time your biggest interpersonal tragedies can turn into your funniest dinner party stories (or bits for your therapist [so you can win therapy by being their most hilarious client]), and all the good memories you have that sting to recall become more like snapshots of your past self as you continue to evolve and change. In the meantime… journal, listen to a podcast have a glass of wine (why do I sound like a millennial.. I’m sure I have the same coping skills as Lena Dunham) and listen to Supercut on repeat. Don’t feel ashamed of yourself for mourning a platonic breakup sometimes more deeply than a romantic one, you just have to ride it out bro. ur gonna be ok.

Much love,

Logan

#virgin suicides #pulp fiction #chloe sevigny #girl interrupted #girl blog #taxonomy #sadgirl #lana del rey #lordemusic

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ladybuggirl123 · 11 months

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Fascism/Flop Eras/The Art Of The Rebrand

If the tone of this post is completely different from last week it’s because my prozac just started working!! If i came off as obsessive and impulsive it’s because i was!! i’m working on it 😁

Alright, Where did we leave off?…

Emotional Terrorism I believe it was-

I now see how entirely dramatic this phrase is(tysm prozac). I probably need to watch my provocative language, I’ve never In my life been a chill or fun girlfriend.

If “emotional terrorist” is a fitting title for any of these people honestly who could blame them, i’m basically an emotional fascist. After my regime is overthrown I have to rebrand obviously.

Teenager’s (and me), are calling this “having an era” . A little google action reminded me this all started with the “Flop Era”

This is what a flop era looks like for the unfamiliar:

this is what getting ur emotionally fascist empire taken down by a emotional terrorist does to a mf

#bringbackcryingselfies

i think i almost bought a “flop era” tshirt in 2021 but i went with ironically hot instead

simpler times…lol

Anyway all the sudden everypony online was in their fleabag era or their reputation era. It’s 2023 Taylor Swift’s having her eras tour and now I barely remember who I was before it became a part of the cultural zeitgeist for a normal non celebrity girl to have definable eras.

here are a few favorites of mine:

i don’t endorse any of these eras also i think i probably do this to an unhealthy degree

bpd grrl era:

grunge post woke fleabag on vyvanse era:

the I ready theory (only lasch) era

looking like I play a [REDACTED] in a [REDACTED] era:

Rebranding isn’t a new thing at all but hyper specific digital language used to describe how you express yourself obviously is and this is a tired conversation at this point.

How is “I’m in my looksmaxxed bushwick kinderwhore era” a thing you could say and how did I get to a point in my life where i know exactly what that would mean. It’s internet buzzword salad and it feels like it’s too much information for my brain to be storing and holding onto at all times (is this where my ancestors kept the berry forageing knowledge? is this really what i’m using it for??)

quick grass touching break 4 u

whatever mental illness i have was designed to pick this shit apart for hours so sometimes this all drives me a little nuts but it’s ok cause i’m a mental health warrior💪🏼

When you feel it’s time for your new era you could sift through pinterest rabbit holes and tiktok echochambers trying to find the perfect niche that describes the new and improved you. You’ll probably find a corner of the internet with other people just like you who like all the same esoteric celebrities you do, who listen to the same underground bands and who all talk the same cool way. But they are all doing it a little better than you.

Then you wake up from the digital coma you slipped into from stemming from unsupervised internet access at a young age, and you realize this is the dumbest shit in the world and ur actually and literally a full ass adult..

🎀Here is my personal plan of action for a non internet poisoned rebrand:🎀

Step 1- The Transformational Event

This could be a breakup, a breakdown, a move, or just a general realization that challenges all ideas you previously had about yourself.

Step 1.5- Deep Emotional Pain

😁

Step 2- Get Ur Ass up

Envision the you that has moved on and no longer feels held down by the emotional weight of the situation. How do they spend their free time? What passions are they pursuing ? what kind of people do they surround themselves with? lastly how do they dress how would they adorn their space? Work from the inside out.

Instead of looking up glass skin healed french girl aesthetic on pinterest you could journal about this version of you or even make a physical vision board.

Step 3- Faking it

Initially you might feel like you are not mentally stable or cool enough or whatever to be this person. But the person is you and the only way you can become them is to just start.

Step 4- God and Faeries take over

Spoiler alert: what i referred to as “faking it” in the last step is also called vibrating at a higher frequency. As I type this out I’m aware that i only maybe half believe it but also this has always worked for me my whole life so……

The circumstances in your life will basically rise to meet you where you are. you’ll start to realize you have the types of friends the new version of you would, you’ll develop the habits you wanted to and you’ll realize you have faked it till you made it.

Step 5- You are sexier and doing better than you ever imagined!

As time goes by and you think back to yourself immediately after the initial transformational event you’ll realize you have become even cooler and happier and more grown up than you hoped you’d be

If u did this right you’ll also feel a little bit of gratitude for the transformational experience because it basically provided a short cut for ur prefrontal cortex development.

that’s all the knowledge i have on this phenomenon here’s a tiktok and a podcast episode that probably inspired me to write this

#Spotify #coquettestyle #girl interrupted #red scare #blokecore #bushwick #indie sleaze #2014 tumblr #rookie magazine #lana del ray aka lizzy grant #lana del rey #2014 nostalgia #girl blog #caroline polachek #blog #writeblr #writing

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ladybuggirl123 · 1 year

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not that i wld ever care about anything but i wrote all that at 2am so i’m gonna wake up and fix these typos

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ladybuggirl123 · 1 year

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We have to talk about how difficult it is to start a raw/snappy/confessional/generation defining blog in the year 2023.

That sounds hard as fuck.

I wish i lived inside an episode of girls. I wish I applied myself in school so I could be smart like lena dunham.

I moved here in august and I had a fucked up bob.

i don’t think i took photos of it w/out totally obscuring it because i felt ugly😁

Obviously I had a fucked up bob because I was sad about some guy idk if I need to explain that.

I worked at a coffee shop where this one time I let some random man who said he was a photographer take a bunch of photos of me because I felt too bad to say no. Then I went home and cried and called my mom.

Then in September I still wasn’t over my ex

-I’m lying i’ve never dated anyone

and It had been like 4 months, i took matters into my own hands and got over him the old fashioned way ( don’t worry about it ) . After this I think I subconsciously decided on some level that I needed to get my virginity back.

- I’m lying i’ve never had sex

Honestly it wasn’t that hard all you have to do is be rlly good and pray a lot :)

After I did this I rediscovered the power of true friendship. I spent a lot of nights sharing a bed with my best friend because the air mattress was kind of uncomfy. Sometimes it felt like we were twins in the womb. I’m starting to think I feel everything exclusively in extremes lol.

unfortunately and unbeknownst to me, In october the fairies started spinning their little webs and lying out the tracks for me to get emotionally terrorized by another random guy! but don’t worry i still have a few months of peace………

(imagine me smiling and kicking my feet while i wrote that cuz i was.)

bet u wanna hear what the fuck happens next. i’m gonna probably tell u soon.

genuinely i hope i put things on this blog that prevent me from ever working a job again.