lordhavemercer

[lordhavemercer]

[MELEE ATTACK] Grab him by the throat and drag him towards the sunlight coming through the window. [Difficulty class: 18]

[lordhavemercer]

Rating the birds in my backyard by tendency toward violence

Northern Cardinal, 4/10

I'm sometimes worried the male is sexually harassing the female but I'm pretty sure they're just doing some elaborate public pickup roleplay. The rest of us didn't agree to participate in your kink, guys.

American Robin, 1/10

Literally just some dude hanging out. Never bothered anyone but worms. Big fan of the way you just stand there in the middle of the grass like you forgot what you were supposed to be doing.

House Sparrow, 10/10

You're a gang. You're participating in gang violence. There's ten billion of you living in a single wood pile and it's been civil war for three years now. When will the bloodshed end?

Tufted Titmouse, 1/10

A shy baby. A pretty little guy. I saw you on the neighbor's garage roof and time stopped. There were anime sparkles around you. Come back.

European Starling, 9/10

Why is it always you? Listen, I know, I KNOW the sparrows are the problem, and YET. When the fighting starts, it's always you in the middle of it, provoking them and then screaming like you're an innocent bystander defending yourself. I'm onto you.

Carolina Wren, 3/10

This rating is not for physical violence, which you don't engage in, but for your role as an incurable narc. A tattle tale. I know they're fighting again, okay? I see it. Our yard has been a warzone for years, you don't have to make a big announcement every time someone misbehaves.

Eastern Wood-Peewee, 0/10

If this were "birds who think they're better than everyone else," you'd get 10/10.

Red-bellied Woodpecker, 6/10

It's a utility pole. It's not a tree. You're surrounded by trees that are full of bugs. But there you are, on the utility pole. Committing vandalism.

American Crow, unrated

For who am I to cast judgment on the actions of La Famiglia? I assume you are doing what is best for the neighborhood. If I could, though, without criticism, make a single observation. That when large numbers of you gather in the ominous dead cottonwood - no? No, you're right. None of my business.

Great Crested Flycatcher, 5/10

Frankly, I think you could be doing more. I think your name implies a great potential. I think you should massacre the insects. I think your beak should drip with viscera.

Stay tuned for more criminal activity!

[lordhavemercer]

fun fact about me is that when i was a kid id write capital E’s with as many of those little horizontal lines as possible and id call them ladder E’s and adults fucking hated them

[lordhavemercer]

when a dentist asks to show them your teeth

#critical role #sam riegel #asdfghjkl

[lordhavemercer]

#critical role #cast photos #matthew mercer #taliesin jaffe #travis willingham #laura bailey #marisha ray #sam riegel #ashley johnson #liam o'brien

[lordhavemercer]

Vox Machina & The Mighty Nein

#critical role #liam o'brien #ashley johnson #taliesin jaffe #laura bailey #matthew mercer #marisha ray #travis willingham #sam riegel #vox machina #the mighty nein #love these dudes

[lordhavemercer]

This week’s episode of Critical Role gave me everything I didn’t know I needed…So here’s tiefling Beau! Beaufling?

#critical role #mollymauk #tiefling #taliesin jaffe #cr fanart #critical role art #fanart #nice

[lordhavemercer]

Talks Machina: After Dark

#critical role #taliesin jaffe #yass #i love him

[lordhavemercer]

the many outfits (and faces) of Sam Riegel.

-plus, have a bonus Marisha because this screenshot deserves to be shared

#critical role #sam riegel #sams shirts #the madlad he actually did it #marisha ray

[lordhavemercer]

That smol Mercer is just. MY SON.

MY CHILD

Matt should do some TV stuff again :0

#critical role #matthew mercer #hes babby

[lordhavemercer]

Matt Mercer as Ethan the IT guy in “The Goreys”

bonus!GIF:(’cause he’s so pretty!)

#not critical role #matthew mercer #ethan #baby #babby

[lordhavemercer]

talks machina 97; matthew mercer finally loses faith in humanity

#critical role #matthew mercer #talks machina #the chaaaaair

[lordhavemercer]

#critical role #matthew mercer #talks machina #marisha ray

[lordhavemercer]

I n s t a n t  R e g r e t 

#critical role #travis willingham #candy #poor baby #tricked

[lordhavemercer]

My aesthetic is DMs looking sexy and secretive behind the screen.

#critical role #matthew mercer #marisha ray #dungeon master #yessss

[lordhavemercer]

Can u just imagine being Beau during Caleb’s backstory reveal tho. U just wanted to know ur friend was acting weird, maybe a lil concerned like maybe something was wrong, and then being told he fucking. Was brainwashed into setting his parents on fire. What the fuck Liam.

#critical role #beau #caleb #asdfghjkl #marisha ray #liam o'brien

[lordhavemercer]

She

#critical role #marisha ray #im!! #in love!!