mushi-dumb

[mushi-dumb]

there's no good feelings left in me anymore. just books. drowning, coming out to disappointments and sorrows, drown again. and once in a while painting, writing a few words, and trying not to go over the edge.

does it ever get easier?

#spilled heart #spilled thoughts #i hate everything #my thougts #books & libraries #the invisible library #painting

[mushi-dumb]

The Diary of Anaïs Nin, 1944–1947

[mushi-dumb]

In the end, you feel that your much-vaunted, inexhaustible fantasy is growing tired, debilitated, exhausted, because you're bound to grow out of your old ideals; they're smashed to splinters and turn to dust, and if you have no other life, you have no choice but to keep rebuilding your dreams from the splinters and dust.

But the heart longs for something different! And it is vain to dig in the ashes of your old fancies, trying to find even a tiny spark to fan into a new flame that will warm the chilled heart and bring back to life everything that can send the blood rushing wildly through the body, fill the eyes with tears--everything that can delude you so well!

- White Nights, Fyodor Dostoevsky

#fyodor dostoevsky #white nights #dreams #desired reality #spilled heart #spilled thoughts

[mushi-dumb]

"We have art in order not to die from the truth."-Nietzsche

[mushi-dumb]

creators shouldn't be allowed to make things as soul-shattering as normal people, fleabag, and one day. this should be a crime.

#one day #emma morley #dexter mayhew #fleabag #normal people #marianne sheridan #connell waldron #romance #devastating

[mushi-dumb]

for what it's worth, i believe i will always have love to give.

the overfilled heart in me always feel suffocating

with pain and sorrow. and love to give.

not to receive. never to receive.

maybe that's why i'm aggressive when i love.

how would i know how to give, if i'm yet to know how to receive?

#spilled heart #spilled thoughts #i hate everything #my thougts #spilled poetry #mind corruption

[mushi-dumb]

i am not my mother and i am not my father but a third worse thing

[mushi-dumb]

𝙵𝚎𝚋𝚛𝚞𝚊𝚛𝚢 𝟷, 𝟷𝟿𝟸𝟸 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙳𝚒𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝙾𝚏 𝙵𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚣 𝙺𝚊𝚏𝚔𝚊, 𝟷𝟿𝟷𝟺-𝟷𝟿𝟸𝟹

[ID: February 1. Nothing, merely tired. END ID]

[mushi-dumb]

Death doesn't scare me but you know what does, those, 'what if's' and 'maybe's'

[mushi-dumb]

“Our own selves make us most unhappy, and that’s why we’re so anxious to lose them, don’t you think?”

– The Secret History

[mushi-dumb]

I'm rereading OUABH for the one hundredth time because I'm desperate and I came across this:

Please let it come true 😭😭😭

[mushi-dumb]

[mushi-dumb]

🍋🍋🍋

THE FALL OF THE HOUSE OF USHER 1x03 - Murder in the Rue Morgue

[mushi-dumb]

at 22, im ancient.

I know it is my father's first time on this Earth, too. And I know He had it worse when he was little.

But I was little too.

— Franz Kafka, from letters to his father

[mushi-dumb]

“Life is boring, except for flowers, sunshine, your perfect legs. A glass of cold water when you are really thirsty. The way bodies fit together. Fresh and young and sweet. Coffee in the morning. These are just moments. I struggle with the in-betweens. I just want to never stop loving like there is nothing else to do, because what else is there to do?”

— Pablo Neruda, Twenty Love Poems and Song of Despair 

[mushi-dumb]

someone made a voice note of my favourite book boyfriend.

im officially a slut.

#books & libraries #book boyfriend #rhysand is the center of my world #rhys acotar #rhysand #acotar #sjm fandom

[mushi-dumb]

“So, if you are too tired to speak, sit next to me because I, too, am fluent in silence.”

— R. Arnold