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norosesmusic-blog · 7 years

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cognitive revolution

I've been thinking lately about the recent book I read(Sapiens: A Brief History of human kind) The book describes the evolution in how we think, imagine, and create. I can't remember the chapter, but one section describes how the creation of myths or imagined stories benefited our survival. Instead of "careful there's a lion," instead changed to "the lion is the guardian of this land" This belief has so much more ease, magic, and is full filling knowing a defiant back story about the lion. This revolution of being able to imagine or create stories or beliefs created a common goal and way of living for multiple humans. Others could trust each other better knowing they believe in the same guardian or god. More than a hundred humans could now live together in peace without tearing each other apart from trust issues, fear, lack of leadership, or whatever. Being able to trust one another better and in large numbers went a long way in surviving. The fact that religion or myths has been in human existence for thousands of years makes me wonder why I have no urge to believe in anything. I feel like life would be so much more relaxing, fun, and magical if I could believe everything is all figured out. Sometimes I think about getting into those crystals or rocks that "give powers" some people believe in just for the fun of it. Believing in fairy tails sounds silly to some, but come to think of it, life would be so so much more magical I feel like. though religion has caused other problems, I feel like it's almost written in our DNA to fully trust or believe in something. If religion dies out, would the internet become a religion or common belief? Would science, although having a lot of unanswered questions about everything, become the new common goal for everyone? Maybe exploring other solar systems and populating the universe would.become The population has risen to 7 billion. How the hell, with so many different cultures, beliefs, customs, and religions, co exist? I believe I'm starting to see thisfall today as the world slowly becomes more unified and beliefs start to collide. we all figure it out in the end...

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norosesmusic-blog · 7 years

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Attention

Something I’ve realized this past year is that I’ve lost the whole reason I’ve made music or other things. Sitting in my room when I was 10, I would dabble on the computer for hours. Staying up late, room lit with a blue computer light, and my head as close to the computer as possible, I found many things to play, download, and tools to get for my computer. I know many can relate. I’d learn all the things the internet could offer. I remember being so fascinated with animation and games when I was little. I remember downloading a program called endorphin on my parents home computer and learned how to make silly animations for my enjoyment. It was a 3D motion animation program that was pretty complicated for a 10 year old to learn. I would look up tutorials for hours just to make a man jump off a cliff and have his head cut off. I remember my mother not being to into what I was making. I would continue making animations and learn other more simplistic programs such as pencil, pivot, or flash. I remember getting into Minecraft as many would at that age too. I learned how to make servers with certain mods for players, and I would tweak files to make an immersive fantasy world for me, friends, and random strangers on the internet. I thought it was so cool. I learned all this naturally and just did it without worrying about how hard it would be, what others would think, and what I could get out of it. I just did it because my brain liked doing it. After my elementary school days of dabbling in animation/games, I picked up film making. My best friend at the time and I would make so many videos of us skating-they actually got quite good. I started to get attention from my videos through friends and the internet as I uploaded the videos to a youtube channel. I believe this is when I learned that it felt fucking amazing to get attention from things I made. I didn’t know people would be so impressed from what I created. So much time, effort, and fun I had dabbling in different programs, I wonder why I don’t have that today... When I went into highschool, I started to learn how to make music. I downloaded the program Ableton and slowly learned how to create different beats, sounds, and rythems. I obsessed over this so hard that I stopped going out. I really got into partying and socializing and not obsessing over programs on my computer. I learned through new friends that music was a big part in their lives. Smoking, drinking, and vibing to certain tunes to enhance the energy/party feel was so prevalent during times with friends. I found a lot more motivation to create something FOR my friends and not really me. I slowly started comparing myself to others, worrying about my soundcloud name, worrying about what I put out was good, and became a bit insecure as people were paying more attention to what I made. I often told myself and others,”I don’t care about the plays/views, I just do it because it’s fun,” This is very true because it is a lot of fun but deep down I still wanted people to see my stories I made. I started to preform for school events my senior year. Apparently, everyone was very into my performances. I started to think that I was special and awesome. Moving from my basement and not talking to anyone to being on stage mixing music for everyones enjoyment was a big change. I started obsessing over attention and not just making music. Over the past year, the whole essence of me creating music was to get attention-to show others my potential. I would then spend hours setting up my soundcloud page appearance/name and not learning anything new/ dabbling in different programs. I lost my inner nerd to try and become cool. What I’ve learned from a few of my favorite artists such as Getter or Austin Augie, is that being yourself is really what matters. What you love doing is what should matter and not what people think. I really enjoyed austin’s video about why he started vlogging and can really sum up everything. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tGVzumRIOts&t=3s

After highschool, I started art school. My whole time in highschool I found myself trying to be cool and hung out with the party crew and not my fellow “minecrafters” haha. Meeting other artists at art school, I learned that everyone was about creating a name for themselves though, too. It was all about making money from what they created. Their were many fake people, people who are very into themselves and their craft, and generally just very different people from what I was used to. I started to worry about getting a job in my field. Their were many who tried so hard for connections, attention, and money. I started to get a bit intimidated by all this and started to wonder if I should be doing the same thing.

As of now, being a sophomore at art school, I started to think about all this and what happened to my inner nerd. I believe that the the more socializing you do, the more anxiety/insecurities you’ll have to keep up with everyone else. I guess it really depends on the person, but this is what happened to me. In todays world, you need money. And to do something that you love to get that would be amazing and hard but I think it will slowly diminish it to being a job then something you like doing. Attention’s nice, but it also brings money.

I was told that writing down your thoughts can help give you more perspective on it so that is what I’m doing. I’m posting this to the internet in hopes that maybe this will apply to other artists. I need to learn to not worry about what others think because it really gets in the way of what I really want to do and what is fun. But if I want to make money, maybe I should worry about it a little. Worrying about it entirely(what I’ve been doing) is really not the way to go. Dedicating a lot of time to learn something to survive in this world is another thing, but when it’s a hobby, their shouldn’t be any worry on what people think. When it can become a job, I guess their should be a little effort to get attention? Sometimes I think about going full, and creating an image for myself to try and make money from what I do. But I believe this will hide or cover the fun of it. I’m pretty conflicted about this and I still need to learn what to do. Their’s a balance to everything, of course. But the scale of worrying about what is good for people and doing it because it’s just fun for you, I have to find that balance.

#rant

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norosesmusic-blog · 7 years

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