And one day we’ll wake up and brew a cup of coffee or two. And somehow everything will be back to normal. We might not even realise it. Still, everything will be alright again.
Ich hab Angst mich am Anfang schon so sehr fallen zu lassen, weil ich nicht wieder verletzt werden möchte.
I have a firm belief that your past does not define who you are, that it shouldn’t control you and that your daily actions and choices is who you are.
There is an exception, to an extent at least. I don’t think anyone can truly and completely let go of their past.
Our mistakes, awards, accomplishments, grievances shape us. It is important to understand that you have the ability to move forward while still recognizing the impact situations have had on you. It’s an important part of growth. It isn’t always, especially in the age of always being on the go, mostly consumed by technology. Self reflection is a beautiful, yet difficult way to discover where the foundation of yourself came from.
Personally, I am often in my own head and in my own thoughts, no matter what I am doing or where I am. Not even necessarily in a selfish way, I will think about others in my life, what I can do to help them, if things would be different if I would have said or done something differently. It is how I am wired and how I will always be. It’s why I write, to let the thoughts escape my head, so they have a new home.
I believe I let my past go ages ago. I think about it from time to time, not in the way that it brings back old feelings. It is usually after a very careless action or even a very thoughtful action. Any sort of action where someone will question why I do something like that. Kind or hurtful, whatever it may be. I take that time and I really put my rapid thoughts into finding the answer. I always do. It has become the greatest release for me. Recognizing behavioral patterns in myself has been a breakthrough in my last few years. It is how I can continue on with the good and how I can prevent the bad from occurring again. When it comes to a negative action this recognition allows me to stop and see that it isn’t a normal behavior and stop it in its tracks. Unfortunately, sometimes it is too late. Sometimes I am not allowed another chance or I can’t come to the realization in time. It’s a learning process but I feel so fortunate to be able to do this, as I don’t believe may can or do. The power of at least trying this is having the benefit to at the very least explain to someone what has happened. It may not erase the damage that has been done, it may not do anything in the moment or even at all, but perhaps at the very least it will plant the seed that you acknowledge the wrong doing to such a length that you took the time to figure out why. There is always a why.
As previously mentioned, the present choices and actions are the other part of what defines us. Self reflection and discovering the behavioral patterns are a part of our foundation where as the decisions we make day to day build us up. Picture that in whatever way you can relate to the best- a building, tree, flower, painting, but do picture it. Every day each word we speak, thought we have and activity we partake in, every way we handle various situations, despite how small they may seem, play a massive role into who we are define ourselves as currently.
The balance of it all is so important. It is delicate. The perfect amount of living in the now, being aware of your choices, acknowledging mistakes as they occur, finding the why and moving forward. It can feel like walking on a balance beam blind folded. It takes hard work to strive to be the best version of yourself, but why wouldn’t you want to be?
so I guess 4 more years of the orange man huh… greattt 🙃
A little review of a story of friendship and love…
NOTE: Art Requests Are Done for two reasons below this message:
1) I’m beginning to make pictures of my characters for content and not for intended requests anymore due to a lack of common askings, or projects, and collabs.
2) I’ve set a type of method during my drawing skills and experience, therefore I’ll toggle between Anthro and/or regular content including random character choices.
Conclusion: If you like my art and support my taste of content, that’s much-much appreciated and I can’t wait to release stories I’ve made in the past to support my characters all put together. Keep-In-Mind that some stories will not be shared in any aspect on my blog. Just a fair heads-up.