ohnotheclownisback

[ohnotheclownisback]

bro i’ve had constant dysphoria for an entire month. what is this shit

#this is the worst it’s ever been #and i have no clue why #everything that normally brings euphoria doesn’t work anymore #i didn’t even feel anything when some guy i accidentally outed myself to said he thought i was a cis guy #it’s mostly the voice and chest but what the fuck #i want to unsubscribe from the dysphoria service please and thank you #but genuinely #if anyone knows anything that can help #please tell me #trans #transgender #vent #vent post #gender dysphoria #ftm dysphoria #help #please #if you can

[ohnotheclownisback]

what do americans call bin men?? they don’t have the word “bin” (as far as i’m aware) so what do they say? garbage guys?? trash takers?? please i have to know

#this is a genuine question #americans please tell me

[ohnotheclownisback]

you can’t demand change from someone while simultaneously putting them down

[ohnotheclownisback]

danger men at work please leave me alone i want to sleep

#help me #it’s been stuck in my head for so long #for the last few days every time i close my eyes it’s just #DANGERMENATWORK DANGERMENATWORK DANGERMENAT WORKDANGERMEN ATWORKDANGER MEN #every time #and. please. go away #the idea of sleeping is to REST

[ohnotheclownisback]

i was sat downstairs while my mum was watching grey’s anatomy and THERE WAS A TRANS GUY IN IT. PEOPLE RESPECTED HIM. WHAT

#i was desperately trying not to look interested #i was so scared but there!! was!! a!! RESPECTED!! trans!! guy!! #IN GREY’S ANATOMY!! #a mainstream tv show!! #the elation o felt considering i don’t even like the show was THROUGH the ROOF!! #trans #grey’s anatomy #transgender #also the guy hacked into the dmv because they refused to change his thingamajig to male #and the leader lady was PROUD of him #i am. feeling things

[ohnotheclownisback]

dude what

#spotify wrapped #spotify #holy crap #good for me i guess

[ohnotheclownisback]

“Adventures, they must be shared.” - The Stranger, The Rings of Power

-

“I’m looking for someone to share in an adventure.” - Gandalf, The Hobbit

[ohnotheclownisback]

so, a thing happened last night. when i was saying goodnight to the ghouls (something i joke about) something weird happened. it’s like someone dropped a moving picture into my head, and for a split second, i could understand it. then, it went, and me being me, i joked around and asked if the ghouls did that. this was all at about half past two in the morning, by the way.

now, i’m not much of a believer - if they exist, they exist, and if they don’t, they don’t. but this creeped the hell out of me.

the thing in my head is something i can’t describe, and i can’t draw it, but i’ll try. it’s something like capillaries covered in ink, but they’re not rounded, they look more like bones, structure-wise. it was mostly this blackish colour, and it moved almost like a sludge, as if it was breathing. there were also streaks of gold passing through it, although it wasn’t a normal gold - it was this bright kind of gold that i can’t recreate.

does this mean anything?? who should i be asking?? i ‘talk to’ these things when i’m home alone, or just in general - i usually ask them if they want a drink or food when i’m making it, or i’ll just talk about whatever’s on my mind as a way to get it out of my head. is there some sort of eldritch god living in my bedroom or am i just seeing things?? i’m so confused and any input from anyone would be great :’)

also, as a footnote: i’ve never had any ‘visions’ but something similar has happened before - i saw a creature for a millisecond, and then it was gone. when i tried to draw it, i couldn’t do it. that was a long time ago, and i have since named that particular entity Marty. i don’t know what i will call this one.

#i don’t know what tags to put #what would this count as? #a vision? #a hallucination? #imaginings from a tired person? #i don’t know #is it witchcraft? maybe some magic? #or am i just making a mountain out of a molehill? #what should i do #help #please

[ohnotheclownisback]

i feel like a mario loading screen

#stimming #echolalia #that’s fun to say #e c h o l a l i a #hehe #oh no

[ohnotheclownisback]

olms don’t look like olms

look at them!! that is not an olm

behaviour-wise, they are the embodiment of the trope where a wiseperson is going OOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMM but then is interrupted by the protagonist or a comic relief

looks-wise, they look like they would tap dance and make erratic jazzy movements. i would call them zazzdazzlehands

#olm #olms #what is the plural of olm #i do not know #oh i googled it #it is olms #did i create this account with the pure intention of putting my thoughts somewhere? #yes #obviously #olms are interesting and i could write a whole essay on them #in fact i might #fun fact: they can live for 58 years #and survive without eating for 10 #like damn that’s cool #anyway #toodle-pip