oyahwriteswords

[oyahwriteswords]

Regrets - PART 3

PART 3

Videocall ito:

E: (bumuntong hininga) A few weeks after ng break up namin ng ex kong siraulo….

F: He who must not be named. Char. Continue.

E: …diba parang lutang ako nun? Hanggang trabaho ko hindi ko na magawa nang tama. Tapos nilagay kami ni Jihoon sa iisang project. Eh, diba takot tayo sa kanya kasi nga akala natin masungit? Ang totoo niyan, ganun lang talaga siya kapag focused siya sa ginagawa niya. Kasi may goals siya. Pangarap niya maging manager so bigay todo siya sa work. Nung nalaman ko ‘yun nahiya ako kasi super wala ako sa huwisyo nu’n. Parang papasok lang para pumasok. Matulala. Iiyak sa cr.

F: Behhhh….

E: Oks na, beh. Tapos na. (smiles) Okay na ako. At kasama ka sa dapat kong pasalamatan. Kasi hindi mo ako sinukuan. Kahit bulag na bulag ako. Na pakiramdam ko ako pa mali. Na kasalanan ko kasi sumuko ako. Pero alam mo, laking tulong ni Jihoon kasi pina-realize niya sakin na ginagaslight ko lang pala sarili ko. Hindi ko kasi matanggap na nagkamali ako ng piniling tao na mamahalin.

F: So paano napunta ‘yung usapan ninyo from project to heart-to-heart talks?

E: Ayun na nga. One Friday night, after naming mag-OT, na kasalanan ko kasi halos ulitin niya work ko kasi walang kwenta ung output ko, niyaya ko siyang uminom. Umoo siya pero friend…. Huhu…. Hindi pala siya umiinom. Pulang-pula siya isang shot pa lang. Natakot ako. Huhu

F: Hala totoo? Bakit siya sumama????

E: Kasi daw deliks kung iinom ako mag-isa. Parang obvious naman kasi sa buong team na broken-hearted ako nun diba?

F: Duh! Kulang na lang placard, beh.

E: Grabeh sya…. Anyways, ayun nga. Samahan niya daw ako para may kasama ako pauwi kahit lasing ako. Lalo na at lasing ako. Sheeeettt……

F: Oh, bakit?

E: Now na binabalikan ko ‘to, narerealize ko na ang dense ko.

F: Yeah. Feeling ko nga, beh. Ako nga ni hindi nginingitian nun, eh. Pero sige, continue. May excuse ka. Wala ka huwisyo that time.

E: So ayun, nag-try siya isang shot tapos pulang-pula siya. Natakot ako akala ko allergic siya. Hindi naman daw pero super init ng katawan niya…. Gagah, alisin ang utak sa kanal…. Anyways, sabi niya iinuman niya lang ng tubig at itutulog pagkauwi niya. So, ako si manhid, tuloy ang inom habang umiiyak. Honestly hindi ko maalala lahat ng sinabi ko sa kanya pero feeling ko buong buhay ko nakwento ko na.

F: Feeling ko din. May talkshow ka lagi kapag lasing, eh.

E: Haha. Sorry na! Wait, parang alam ko na bakit hindi ka niya nginingitian. Sorry na friendddd!!!!

F: Baccla ka ng taon, ano sinabi mo?!

E: Hindi ba feeling ko lahat sinabi ko? So feeling ko pati ‘yung mga kalokohan mo dati kay Jun, na-share ko. Sorry na poooo.

F: Alam mo ikaw, kung hindi ko lang talaga utang itong happiness ko ngayon sa’yo.…

E: Haha. Don’t worry, babawi ako sa’yo. Kwento ako ng good traits mo kay Ji.

F: (tumaas kilay) Ji? Close? Ano tawag niya sa’yo eh ang ikli ng pangalan  mo? E? hahahahahhahaha

E: Uhmmmmmm….

F: Baduyyyyy!

E: Oi! At least hindi bebelabsh saka munchkin, noh! Umay kayo ni Jun kaya.

F: Inggit ka lang. haha. Char. Dali, continue na.

E: Ayun lang. After nun, hinatid niya ako hanggang labas ng village namin tapos after nun lagi na nya ako kinakamusta. Ang gaan niya kausap. Very mature. Walang judgment.

F: Pero ako hindi nginingitian.

E: Ka-judge-judge un past self mo, bhie.

F: K fine. Arrrrrray nemen. Pwede magbago?

E: Oo naman. Pareho tayo nag-grow this past year. Proud kaya ako sa atin. (smiles na parang maiiyak)

F: Huwag kang mag-emote hindi ka pa tapos magkwento.

E: Ayun na nga ‘yun. Parang nagging comfort zone ko siya outside sa’yo. Saka syempre may point of view din siya na walang bias kasi hindi naman niya kilala ‘yung ex ko. Tapos kahit nung ok na ako, kinakausap ko pa rin siya kasi parang nakahanap ako ng liwanag sa kanya. Korni ba? Ang dilim dilim kasi ng pinaggalingan ko, eh.

F: Ang puti nga niya, beh. Patanong naman ng skin care routine niya. Hahahaha. Joke lang. Ito naman. I know beh. I was there. Nakita ko kung paano mo kinuwestiyon buong pagkatao mo. Kung paano ka nagtago sa sarili mo. Na parang lahat ng mahawakan mo natatakot ka na masisira mo. Ni hindi ka pa nga rin nagda-drive. Kasi pinadama niyang ex mo na ikaw ang mali sa lahat. Na wala kang ginawang tama. Na lahat kasalanan mo. Kapag nakita ko talaga sa kalsada ‘yun….. Papasapak ko sa jowa ko. Haha

E: Haha. Oks na, beh. Hayaan na natin siya. Huwag na natin siya bigyan ng space sa isip natin.

F: Tama ‘yan! Wahhhh! Moving on ka na nga! Gusto kita i-hug. Saka si Jihoon. Huhu. Please pabanguhin mo pangalan ko sa kanya. Para BFFs na rin kami.

E: I will try. Haha. Basta beh, happy ako now. Pero takot ako. Kasi parang kapag naulit ung nangyari sa akin dati, baka hindi na ako makaahon.

F: Okay lang ‘yan. Take your time. If he deserves you, he deserves a you that is ready to deserve him, too.

E: Wah. Thanks, friend. (umiyak na nang tuluyan) Salamat talaga.

F: Always, friend. Basta wag ka na magrasyon ng kwento sa akin, ah. Deserve mo din naman ako as a friend. Kasi never mo ako sinukuan when I was at my worst. I love you, friend.

E: I love you too, friend. What if matulog na tayo. Alas dose na pala.

F: Hala ka. Maggu-goodnight pa ako sa bebelabsh ko.

E: Baduy! Haha. Nyt nyt, friend!

F: Nyt, Elle! 😊

#regrets

[oyahwriteswords]

Regrets - PART 2

PART 2

CHATBOX ito:

E: Hi, Ji!

JH: Hi, E! Sorry hindi na tayo nakapag-usap after ng lunch. Ako kasi faci sa meeting. Nawala sa isip ko. Haha

E: Oks lang. Salamat pala.

JH: Sa lunch? Wala ‘yun. So ano, pasado ba?

E: Hindi, salamat sa pakikinig these past months. Grabe, halos kalahating taon na pala kitang ginagambala sa drama ko. Mas matagal pa sa relasyon namin ng ex kong manloloko. Haha

E: Pero thanks din sa lunch. Pasado ‘ung resto. Ang sarap ng pasta nila. Sabihin ko nga kay Felicia try din nila ng jowa niya doon.

JH: I mean, ako pasado ba?

E: Saan? Sa pagiging faci ng meeting? Ok naman. Hindi halatang 5 mins ka lang naghanda. haha

JH: Hindi ‘yun ang ibig kong sabihin pero I’ll take that. Haha. Salamat sa reminder kanina, nakapaghanda ako kahit mabilisan. 😊 Sya, good night. And welcome. Hindi ka nakakapagod kausap at masaya ako na kahit paano nakatulong ako sa iyo.

E: Good night din. 😊

………………………………………………………………………………………

CHATBOX din ito:

**E sends screenshot of convo to Felicia.**

F: Friend, super talino mong tao pero minsan slow ka.

E: Hala inaano kita?

F: Hindi mo nagets un tinatanong ni Jihoon??? Pasado daw ba siya sayo?

E: Gets ko, shunga. Pero kasi natakot ako bigla.

F: Hayst. Heto na naman tayo sa rollercoaster pero sige take your time, beh. Andito lang ako. Pero nasasad ako kasi super hindi mo na pala kaya dati hindi mo nilabas sa akin.

E: Ano ka ba. Nilalabas ko naman sa’yo pero nire-ratio ko para naman hindi ka mabigatan. Kasi masaya ka, eh. Ayaw ko maging panira ng happiness mo kasi deserve mo din yan after everything you and Jun have been through.

F: Hala, beh. Naiiyak ako bigla. Pero never. Never ever ever ever think like that ever again. Potek, hindi mo kami sinukuan dati. Dalawa pa kaming sayo nagbubuhos tapos sinalo mo lahat.

E: Kasi beh, deserve niyo isa’t-isa pero mas maswerte ka sa kanya. Sana hindi mo kalimutan yan.

F: Haha. Yan ang never. Ang dami kong kagagahan noon. Buti hindi ninyo ako sinukuan. Pero beh, balik tayo sa’yo. Paano nagsimula yang kay Jihoon?

E: Feeling ko dapat videocall na ito…. Mahaba-haba ‘to.

……………………………………………………..

Videocall ito:

F: Hi, friend. Ang ganda mo talaga Kapag walang makeup.

E: Shonga, hindi ako nagme-make up, noh. Lip gloss lang ang need ng beauty ko.

F: Weh? Eh lately naka-mascara ka pa????

E: Ay halata ba? Hahahaha

F: Haha oo. Pero joke lang. Maganda ka either way. 😊

E: Ay hala, friend nga kita. Char.  So, ano? Magbobolahan tayo o magkukwento ako?

……………………………………………………………

#regrets

[oyahwriteswords]

Regrets

~Oyah~

………………………………………………………………………………………

CHATBOX ito:

“Sana hindi na lang ako nag-isip. Sana nagmahal na lang ako.”

“Hindi mo naman alam. Pinili mo kung anong akala mong tama noong panahong ‘yun.”

“Hindi rin ako sigurado sa totoo lang. Baka nga naduwag lang ako.”

………………………………………………………………………………………

JH = Jihoon

E = Elle

F = Felicia (friend/officemate nila JH and E)

………………………………………………………………………………………

1 week after nun convo nila sa taas.

CHATBOX ito:

JH: Good Morning! Na-miss kita. One week na since last tayo nagkausap. Kamusta ka?

E: Better. I guess? Salamat pala, ha? Kasi kahit ang drama-drama ko, nakikinig ka pa rin.

JH: Nukaba, ikaw pa ba? Basta ping me anytime if you need someone to talk to.

………………………………………………………………………………………

IRL:

F: Hi, Elle! How are you? Bakit parang hindi ka naman broken-hearted? Parang mas happy ka pa kesa sakin na in a long-term relationship? Umamin ka, kunwari lang ‘yun para magoyo mo  ko na manlibre ng SB, noh????

E: Gaga ka, Felicia, talaga! I wouldn’t wish that kind of pain on my worst enemy, noh. Tapos mag-prepretend ako? Takot ako sa karma noh!

Wait, wish ko pala un sa ex-bff ko nun HS na umagaw sa first crush ko. Char!

F: Dami sinabi! Pero kamusta ka? Oks ka na? Ganda ng ngiti mo kanina nung may ka-chat ka, eh…. Sino ‘yan? Gaga, bawal rebound ah.

E: Sabi nang naniniwala ako sa karma. Wala lang ‘yun. Happy lang ako na nakaka-move on na ako kahit paano….

F: Beh, happy ako for you. Pero hinay-hinay, please. Protect your heart. Kapagod ka kayang pakalmahin kapag broken ka.

E: Oo naman, beh. I’m just choosing to do things that make me happy, and to be with people that makes me smile. Na-miss ko ngumiti beh….

………………………………………………………………………………………

Time Skip (After 5 weeks)

CHATBOX ito:

E: Uhmmm, Ji. Hi!

JH: Oh, E! Hello! Kamusta? Nag-lunch ka na?

E: Actually, tatanungin nga sana kita kung may kasama ka kumain. Kasi itong si Felicia iniwan ako. Nag-Aura sila ng jowa niya.

JH: Wala ako kasama pero may baon ako. Sa pantry ako mag-lunch. Tara?

E: Ay, sa labas ako kakain sana kasi wala akong baon. Na-late ng gising. Haha

JH: Ahhhhh.

E: Oks lang. haha. Big girl na naman ako. Ano ako kinder? Hahahhha. Kaya ko kumain mag-isa.

JH: Actually, may gusto sana akong i-try na new resto sa High Street. Gusto mo?

E: Eh, may baon ka?

JH: Pwede naman ‘yun na lang dinner ko. Dali na. Libre kita. Para in case di mo magustuhan, hindi mo ako aawayin. Haha

E: Oke….

………………………………………………………………………………………

Sa resto:

JH: Pasta specialty nila dito. Sana kumakain ka ng pasta.

E: Oo naman. Hindi ako choosy. Lalo na’t ganitong libre. Haha. Oi, salamat ulit!

JH: No probs.

JH: Uhmmmmm.

E: Yes?

JH: Wag ka makornihan ah, pero mas bagay sa’yo nakangiti.

E: Hala siya. Lahat naman siguro mas bagay ung nakangiti.

JH: I mean specifically ikaw. Na-miss ko kasi ‘yan?

E: Oo korni nga…

JH: Ha?

E: Sabi mo kasi korni sasabihin mo. Korni ka nga.

JH: Haha. Sorry na.

………………………………………………………………………………………

CHATBOX ito:

E: Felicia, tengene mo! Ang lande mo! Nasaan ka na???? May kwento ako. Huhuhuhu

F: Wait. Bebe time nga. 1 hour nga lang. Pagbigyan.

E: Balik na! May expiry itong kwento ko. Bahala ka….

F: Ito na nga. Patapos na rin naman kami kumain. Kaloka ka. Magjowa ka na nga nang hindi ako ang kinukulit mo.

E: Eto na nga, eh! Basta huwag kang judger, please.

F: Ay hala sya! May kalandian ka na? Naka-move on na yarn?

E: Basta! Babalik ka o babalik ka?

F: Wait lang. Magbabayad pa kami ng bill. Ano gusto mo, takbuhan ko itong resto para lang sa kwentong lablife mo?

E: Basta dalian mo kasi may expiry nga itong kwento. Kasi may meeting tayo in 20 mins at hindi ko ito makukwento nang may ibang tao. Kasi, too close to home. ehem

F: OMG ka beh! Don’t tell me officemate natin???? Juicy chika! Sige, done na kami dito. OMW!

………………………………………………………………………………………

IRL (Back sa office)

F: (Hinihingal) Oi! 5 mins before meeting. Chika!

E: Hinaan mo boses mo baccla ka. Nahihiya ako.

F: Pero kinikilig ka rin?

E: Oo. Sheeet. Mali ba? Ang bilis ba?

F: Beh! Kalahating taon na ‘un. Pwede mag-move on. Dali, kwento!

E: Kasi nga dahil iniwan mo ako kanina para sa jowa mo na hindi ko alam paano mo nasungkit, niaya ko si Jihoon.

F: Wait? Jihoon? ‘Yung hindi ngumingiti, hindi nakikipag-usap nating teammate? Kelan pa kayo naging chummy chummy? Ano toh friend???? Sure ka, hindi panaginip ‘yan?

E: Gagsi, ngumingiti siya. Cute nga ng pangil niya pag nangiti. Up and Down. Haha

F: Ay si tanga. Kinikilig…. Kulang 5 mins. Kaloka ka. Mamaya mo ituloy ‘yan kasi 1 min na lang lalakad pa tayo papunta meeting room. Kaloka ka, bhie.

E: Haha. At least iisipin mo ako hanngang uwian. Tsismosa for life ka, eh. Haha

F: Bwisit ka. Tulak kita kay Jihoon, eh.

E: Ay, go. Feeling ko sasaluhin ako. Hahahhhaha

F: *nanlaki mata* Nasaan ‘yung broken-hearted kong friend? Ilabas mo siya!!!!

E: Tanga! Tara na sa meeting. Haha

F: Tara na. (biglang seryoso) Pero friend, bagay sayo ‘un ganyan. ‘Yung nakangiti.

E: I know! Sabi niya rin sakin ‘un, eh.

F: Apakalande!!!!!

………………………………………………………………………………………

#regrets

[oyahwriteswords]

Cannot

There are two versions of him that I know. One is the one that I liked. The other is the one that didn't like me back. I try everyday to see them both. At the same time. I cannot.

There are two versions of her that I know. One is the one that loves me. The other is the one that I couldn't love back. I try everyday to look at her. The same way she looks as me. I cannot.

#joy writes words #joywriteswords #joy writes #joyahwrites

[oyahwriteswords]

Door

She opens the door.

And sees.

[oyahwriteswords]

Codes

I am writing in codes again.

It has always been this same old cycle.

I feel something different, analyze and realize that whatever it is,

It is capable of making my heart smile. For me.

For a change.

  As in the old days, I’d be really happy at the starting point but then,

The kick-in-the-gut realization that I never believed in my ability

To give myself a chance

To fully embrace this without falling face-first flat on the ground,

Burdened by my decades-long, bred and fed, alive and kicking

Insecurities start to creep its way in.

  If only I stayed in that place I thought didn’t deserve me.

I’d probably not be this broken.

[oyahwriteswords]

Estimated Time of Arrival

"What time will the train be here?" I asked.

"In life, we never really know anything for sure," he answered. "Except for salvation, that is," he added after some thought.

"You are the only person I know who spouts words of wisdom about something as trivial as a train's arrival time."

"Well, if you ask the conductor, he will tell you that it should be here by ten in the evening."

"Okay. See you then."

That train never arrived. Like so many times before, he was right.

#words #joy writes words #unwritten book

[oyahwriteswords]

Break. Lull.

Yep. I haven't posted anything beyond Day 10. I have written bits and pieces on paper but not much. I feel bad that I am losing my passion for this challenge. But I committed. i must persist! Fight!

#lull #unmotivated #lazy #bad writer #500 words

[oyahwriteswords]

Big Words - Day 10

Writing – Day 10

Yes. I am uber late. I skipped writing again yesterday. To think that I already started late. I saw the 500 words challenge on Jan 2, started Jan 3 and instead of working hard to fill the gap, I am here now with my Day 10 when everyone’s in day 13.

Anyway, I might as well start this right now. Jeff’s prompt for day 10 was to write about writing. I say "was" because he gave that prompt 3 days ago! I hate myself. Arhggg.

I am also done with the list of prompts I posted a few posts down but I have a hidden list of prompts which I didn’t post. The next one is about big words inspired by fellow 500 worder, Linda’s comment, “Once again, I enjoy the honesty of your writing and the easy style. Very readable for me.” Since we are talking about writing, I will write about big words and how I don’t know them. I am just glad that this inability manifests as “honesty” and “easy style” as Linda said.

177 words already! That’s me. I can write without even writing yet. I talk a lot. I write a lot. I mumble and say stuff that doest even need to be written.

Like that last paragraph. Sigh.

BIG words.

Yeah, I don’t know them. I don’t understand them. I cannot write them. Except for random words like annihilate, subjugate and mundane. I got those from Animorphs and I try not to use them unless necessary. Other than that, I know nil about big words. I sometimes even forget simple words. Like “manifest” from the paragraph above. I had to think for 3 minutes to squeeze that word from my head.

Other than my inability to use them, I also dislike those who overuse them. For me there are two kinds of writers that do that.

First is the “dictionary-man”. That person who reads the dictionary too much and then use the words literally. For example, in using the word elementary in place of simple. “That is a very elementary problem.” I can’t even think of a decent example but you get the point.

The second is the “jargon-person”. These people can make you feel out of place just by reading their words. They will drop jargons after every word in their sentence. This is okay if you are writing for an audience that knows what you are talking about but if you are writing for everyone in general, you would just give your audience a headache. This I have no example of. I cannot think of anything right now but I have read them. I am sure you have too.

I have one extra type of writer that sometimes irks me. They are not that annoying and they will not give you a headache unlike the two mentioned above. The choice of topic and the audience play an important role that helps me decide if they are annoying or not. These are the really good writers who go out of their way to showcase their talent even though the circumstances don’t call for it. For example, an article that is trying to motivate people to join a cause. If you are honest in your endeavor to call people to support your cause, you don’t have to display your writing prowess in a manner that would give your readers a headache. Write it simply and from the heart. You would get better support, believe me.

I think it is this distaste for the complicated and my inability to use big words that lead me to settle for the simple style of writing. I am at best when I do this. Even when I was working in the medical world and was required to write reports, I try to write them as simple as I can avoiding the psychological jargons that we were trained to use. I want the patient to understand the report, not confuse them even more.

Of course I know that I have to improve my dictionary, to add better words, to learn new ways of explaining myself. But I would leave that to formal writing or application letters. I don’t have to to that in blogging. After all I am still amateur when it comes to the world of literature. I will just read, read and read. And write, write, write. Hopefully, I can become a better writer that way. Without losing the core, the simple, the ordinary. I work better that way. I will just sound awkward if I try to do otherwise.

Mundanity. Perplexed. Coherent. Blargh.

#bog words #writing #writer #500 words #joywriteswords #words

[oyahwriteswords]

Teach Something - Day 9

Day 9 – Teach Something

  Well, what is something I know that I can be confident enough to teach and share to the world? I know math but I am no expert in math. And that is so difficult to explain in words. I know how to solve the 3x3x3 Rubik’s cube but I am no master in that either. I know nail art but I think teaching that would be boring. I LOVE to draw. But do I really have what it takes to teach already? I have been reliant on tutorials up to now. How can teach something I have just started to learn?

I realized that it would be a good idea to write about how to draw a face. If there is one thing I learned about teaching, it is that the best way to learn something is to teach it. Sounds weird? It’s true. There has been countless times where I was forced to study and understand something because I have to teach it. After teaching, I would be 100% more knowledgeable than I was before.

Therefore if I was to learn more about drawing, I have to teach it. Good thing I have a few pictures of the last drawing I did.

I will share with you how I create a portrait. Not necessarily the best way to do it but this is how I do it.

You have to choose the medium you are most comfortable with. I have tried charcoal and watercolor. I decided I am still a beginner. Too early to use those. I am most comfortable with graphite pencils. If you choose this. Prepare the necessary one. I use H, HB and B pencils. H pencils are hard and make light lines. The bigger the number before H, the harder it is. B pencils are soft and make darker lines. These are easier to delete than H pencils. HB is something in between. F makes fine lines. I lost mine so I can’t use it. You can try to make lines out of the pencils you have and see which ones are your favorites. I usually use 2H, H, B, 3B, 5B and 6B pencils. I use the HB sometimes, too.

Choose the portrait you want to copy. I usually edit the picture to black in white to make it easier for me to see the shadows and the highlights.

The next step is the first step in drawing. You can start in a variety of ways. One is to use a grid as a guide in copying the outline of the photo. I tried this but had a hard time. You can also simply copy what you see into your drawing paper. You can use a ruler to measure the distances between the facial features. I did this with my first portrait. The last option is the lazy option. This is what I usually do. Although if you think of it, it really just like doing the second option. The third is tracing. Yes, it sounds like cheating but this usually does not do much for me except to act as guides to the shape of the face and the location of the other features. What I usually do is trace the outline using tracing paper then tracing that same outline at the back of the tracing paper. This way when I retrace this onto my drawing paper, the graphite will be transferred there. During this process, the lines may be drawn indifferently since there have been too many steps of retracing. It is always best to review the lines by comparing it to the original photo.

I will then draw the outline using an H pencil. I usually start with the shape of the face and the hair.

Then I will start with the eyes. My eyes are my favorite parts to draw. I have drawn all types of eyes since high school. It was also the first part of the face I really studied. After the eyes, I can start with the different parts of the face. Just simply putting lines where I see them.

I will then look for the darkest parts of the face and shade that. I blend the lines using a blending stump or a tissue.

I will continue to add shadows being careful to avoid the highlights. If a highlighted part was accidentally shaded, I will erase this using a kneaded eraser. Kneaded erasers are great because you can shape them anyway you want thus controlling the space you can erase.

I will add lines until I am comfortable that I have created the drawing in the same likeness as the one in the photo as best as I can.

Then, you can spray a fixative over your drawing to keep it from smudging. :)

I think I didn’t teach here. I just said described what I usually do. Hehehe. Well, if anyone learned from what I usually do, I’d be happy. I don’t really know that much about writing yet but if there are 2 advice I can give to any aspiring artist like me, it would be:

Draw what you see. Not what you think you see. What this means is, do not draw an eye. Draw the lines that make up an eye. Do not draw a mouth; draw lines that make up the mouth. If you think you are getting confused, turn your drawing upside down. This way you can focus on drawing lines instead of things you think you see.

Practice, practice, practice.

Every other tutorial will teach you these 2 tips.

So, if you want to learn to draw. Start practicing now! Study! There are plenty of tutorials online and believe me, they are really helpful! :)

#drawing #tips #teach something #500 words #day 9 #i am so left behind

[oyahwriteswords]

Tobias' Story - Day 6

The next one in my list of prompts is “sci-fi”. Jeff’s prompt for day 6 is “write about someone else’s story”. Again, it would be nice to incorporate both in a post.

Warning: The mood in this post will be totally different from the last one. The last one was written almost 20 hours ago so I have rested and recharged after all those emotions. J

I was thinking of writing about Paige Christian, the main character in Starlight Crystal, the first Christopher Pike book I have ever read but decided against it because I honestly do not remember much about her. Only the ones that I wrote on my own version of the books’ summary in a diary many, many years ago.

Today, I will write about Tobias. I wrote about him in a Multiply blog before. Luckily, I was able to save that post and transfer it here in Tumblr. The post was basically a copy of his Wikipedia page. Hehe. Sorry. :p Here is a link to that post. http://jay-ow-why.tumblr.com/post/35549451351/all-about-tobias-of-animorphs

So Tobias, or “Tobyas” as I used to read his name in my head before, is my favorite Animorphs character. I will just give a brief history on the Animorphs. I will do my very best not to say too much because that should be a different post.

So, the Animorphs were a group of five ordinary teenagers (Jake, Cassie, Marco, Rachel and Tobias)  who accidently got the ability to morph into any animal they touch. They can absorb an animal’s DNA when they touch it and then morph into that animal when they needed to. They were fighting a silent war against a group of aliens that look like slugs that get inside a human’s brain and take over that human’s life. They were later joined by Ax. A young Andalite cadet.

I don’t remember exactly which book I read first but I am guessing it were books 32 (Rachel’s POV) and 28 (Ax’s POV). I decided I liked Tobias because of how Rachel described him. He was both a bird of prey and a boy. It intrigued me that they seemed to like each other although he isn’t entirely human. Rachel also mentioned that he was Ax’s nephew. Ax is an Andalite, an alien. That intrigued me more. I decided I would read the other books to know more.

I got my first book, I think on December 30, 2011 2001. It was book 23, The Change. This story was told by Tobias. I will take this moment to explain the change in the books’ POV’s. The main characters alternate in telling their versions of the story. There are six of them. Each one would have his POV in 2 of every 10 books except Tobias and Ax. So Jakes started with books 1 and 6. Every book that ends with #s 1 and 6 would be told by Jake. Rachel tells those that ends with 2 and 7, Cassie for those with 4 and 9; and Marco for those ending in 5 and 0. Tobias tells those with 3 and Ax 8.

  My 2 favorite characters gets the least POV’s but that’s okay. As long as they are in the other books I am okay.

Back to book 23, I think that was the most emotional book except of course for those in the latter parts of the series. The last book was heartbreaking. Book 23 showed how Tobias realized who his real father was. It was in this book that they found out that Ax is his uncle. I have 3 copies of that book. The regular one, the Spanish version (though I didn’t understand anything) and the latest re-release version. :D

I love Tobias because he is so emotional and I am really into those kinds of characters. I guess it is in these king of emo characters that I get to release the emo side of me, being such a bubbly and happy girl as I am. I know that’s a bit weird. I think I got it the other way around. I tend to be too bubbly that I had to express the sad and emotional me through songs and real awkward characters. Well, we all have our own way of coping right?

Tobias has been a sad boy even before he became a hawk. He lost both parents to unknown (until you read book 23 and The Andalite Chronicles) reasons. He lived back and forth with an aunt and an uncle. He felt unwanted and he was bullied in school. He has always been awkward. Then book 3 happened and he became a nothlit. Someone stuck in morph after overstaying the two hour limit. See, the morphing power has a time limit. Stay more than a couple hours and you are stuck. (If Cinderella has this rule, she’d probably had overstayed. And missed the chance of winning his prince.)

So he was a sad boy who had the sorry luck to be a bird. Perfect, right? Well, he eventually got used to it (as if he had a choice). I guess, somehow, he got comfortable as a bird more than he ever was a boy. He wasn’t bullied as long as he doesn’t get into other bigger birds’ territories. He is free and away from the fake affection of his so-called relatives. He can be with himself and even get lost in the natural instinct of a bird. He developed a strong bond with Ax even before they found out that they were related. I think this is because they were both outcasts, freaks of nature, outsiders, alone with only each other’s company. They both have issues but I think Ax’s natural Andalite arrogance balances Tobias’ emotional nature.

What I love about him more than his emo moments is his decision to stay in the fight. Even though Tobias only tells his side of the war once in every 10 books, each of his stories are always eventful. In book 13, he met the Ellimist. The Ellimist brought him in front of his own self and let him acquire his DNA thus enabling him to morph into his own human body. He/it/they also gave him his morphing abilities back. See, a nothlit loses his ability to morph. That left him with a dilemma. He can choose to overstay his human morph and become a human nothlit. He will be human again. He can have hands to hold Rachel’s again. He can eat human food, not rodents. He can sleep in a bed without fear that anytime a bigger bird of prey can take over his territory. Or he can choose to stay hawk and stay in the game.

He stayed. His decision could have been life and death for the group. Because each one of them plays an integral part in the missions. Tobias is especially important because he serves as their eye in the sky. His original morph is naturally small, he wouldn’t have to go back to awkward human form in between morphs plus the added incentive of not having to worry about overstaying the time limit anymore since he’s done with that.

He is selfless and obedient. He respects everyone. He has formed unique relationships with each one of the other animorphs in spite of his natural shyness. I think he’s personality has even improved after he became a nothlit. I guess it helped that he didn’t have to worry or care anymore. Because, outside the animorphs, nobody does.

I like him because I relate to him in some ways. He doesn’t have to give a damn about the world anymore. He didn’t have to deal with people who only pretended to care. Plus it is so cool to be half alien, half human although biologically he is 100% human. Tobias is the emotion of the group for me. Cassie is more of the morals. Jake the decisions. Rachel the guts. Ax the brains and Marco the wits. As a whole, they complement one another.

That sci-fi. It seems cheesy and childish but the emotional trauma and emotions are very similar to those a raging teen encounters. The never-ending debate about morality, war and justice gives my mind the exercise it needed. I love sci-fi because it gives me a world to escape to when I feel consumed by the real world. Friends to be with when times proves to be too much. Sci-fi is my escape from this world without really leaving it and Tobias is my guide to that other world. He is my fictional soulmate if not my fictional self.

#tobias #tobias' story #500 words #books #animorphs #words #scici #\scifi #science fiction

[oyahwriteswords]

“Where are My Glasses?”

Prompt from Kathryn’s post, “Word from the unwise. If you wake up and have a thought, write it down! This morning, early, I lay in bed thinking and a blog idea popped in my head. It actually was a good one, I thought. That's it! I'll write on that today. Then I went back to sleep. The thought is GONE. I can't remember.”

I decided to follow my prompt list and the next one is “forgetfulness”.  I am writing this less than 12 hours after I did the last one because it is already 1am here and I don’t think I can wake up at 5am later.

I forget everything. My short term memory is so poor it can’t afford to remember. Because it has forgotten that it CAN remember. My brain is crazy like that. My aunt once told me, if my ear wasn’t attached to my head, I’d have lost it by now. If ears were replaceable, I’d probably hoard them to make sure I last a day without having none.

It has not been once that I stared at my name because I wanted to make sure I spelled it correctly. Who knows? I might have forgotten how to spell it. When someone asks me, “Do you know this person?” I usually answer, “I might have heard of him. I just don’t remember.” I don’t trust myself to say a simple yes or a simple no. Because I might have known that person but have just forgotten.

I lose things. A lot. I’d be carrying a bag while commuting and arrive at my destination holding nothing. I’ve been trying to fix that. I don’t want to lose things again. That’s why I double check everything before I step off a vehicle. But sometimes I forget to double check. Sigh.

I blame this from an accident I had when I was around 9 or 10. I fell from our bed and had to have stitches on my head. The anesthesia might have messed with my head. At least I have my head whole although my memories are not.

I use a lot of things to help me remember but those things don’t usually work if you forget to use them. Notebooks are helpful though. They are useful in writing down things I don’t have to remember but don’t want to forget. That is why I write. Because I have a lot of thoughts and ideas and those thoughts and ideas have really short lifespan. I have to put them down into writing as soon as I can least they fly away. And fly away they do. Lots of them already. I guess that discouraged me a bit from writing. Since I have forgotten what I wanted to write, I will just not write. Since it was so good in my head when I first gave birth to it in my mind, it would be futile to try to resuscitate it back to life. Nothing could be scarier and more embarrassing than having to face an idea zombie. An idea with a heart but no brain. It will just leave me with a broken heart and a headache. So best to just forget about it altogether and hope that next time a thought haunts me, I have pen and paper or a computer to write it down. Chances are that will not happen because I only have those resources when I am working and working requires my neurons a different kind of thought process and that process is far from creative writing.

I think I just contradicted myself there. See, as I said in another post, I dangle at the opposite ends of things. Extreme ends sometimes. So I better end this here before it gets worse. I think writing at this hour is not the best idea. My words are messy. The whole post is messy. I better remember not to do this again.

  Have I told you that I forget things? I also lose things. Oh! I did. See?

#totally forgot about the title. honestly. #forgetfulness #500 words #day 4

[oyahwriteswords]

Sometimes I stare into space thinking about how I am staring into space.

Not so great if you are already late or have tons to do.

#musings #words

[oyahwriteswords]

What to do

If I stop midstream, I risk stopping all together.

Now tell me what to do.

I didn't live to write.

I write to live.

#writing #priorities #joy writes words

[oyahwriteswords]

Mundane, Mundanity and Random Ramblings in Between

Mundane, Mundanity and Random Ramblings in Between

  Today, I plan to talk about my favorite word. Mundane. I’ve always liked this word.

  Dictionary.com defines this as:

1. of or pertaining to this world or earth as contrasted with heaven; worldly; earthly: mundane affairs.

2. common; ordinary; banal; unimaginative.

3. of or pertaining to the world, universe, or earth.

  For me, it means ordinary, everyday things. Things so routine we don’t even notice them anymore. Like waking up, breathing, a pillow, a cup of coffee or our personal space at work. These are the stuff that makes our day but because we encounter them each day, we tend to oversee them. These are the things that, when I allow myself to stop and feel and really appreciate, take my breath away. It may sound weird but I sometimes stop in the middle of doing something just because I realized how amazing my eyes are. How the only part of my face they can actually see in person is the tip of my nose. Or sometimes I start daydreaming because I just realized I am alive and breathing. This does not happen everyday, of course. But I love those moments although they leave me bothered/amazed/confused most of the time.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not that kind of woman that’s always staring into space and then talks to herself. Though I do that at times, too. :p

Most of the time, I’m just an ordinary girl doing mundane things, going through my own self-imposed routines everyday. I also jump at the first chance of excitement. Because, as much as I love mundanity, I also love excitement. Things that would differentiate today from tomorrow. Things that would make that moment memorable. Because my memory is not good and because I yearn to make the most of every moment of my life.

See, I defy myself each time. I don’t really give myself one definition because I tend to hang around both ends of almost every spectrum. As I define myself in my other sites:

  “Everything here may be a mixture of so many different things.

From pigs to coffee to books;

From music to fashion to art;

From movies to dramas to anime;

From sweet stuff to cool stuff to angsty stuff;

From pink to purple to black;

From girly to punk to rock;

From Japanese to Korean to Taiwanese actors and actresses;

ALL THESE THINGS ARE ME...♥”

“It has taken me years trying to understand me. I’m not even halfway there. It will take you forever. So don't sweat.”

“I am typical, ordinary but am not like anybody. I hate standing out but I enjoy attention from people that matter. I cannot describe myself fully because I never had one true self. I can be anything.”

  I have tried to define myself but end up confusing everyone in the end. Even myself. I’m not even sure if I’m an introvert or an extrovert. I tend to be both if that is even possible.

Wait. I am not defining myself here. I am trying to define mundanity.

See, as much as I yearn for excitement, it is the slow-paced everyday things that tend to amaze me more. How small, ordinary things make up bigger things that play important roles in our lives. I guess I started thinking that way when I realized how small and puny I am compared to the whole world, to the universe of chances that is all around me. If I cannot stop and appreciate the little things in life, how can the universe stop and appreciate someone as small as me.

I think it is my existence that amazes me most. See. I am so small and contained, no one can come inside my mind and see the whole world EXACTLY as I see it. Not even therapists or counselors. Only me. This knowledge amazes me but overwhelms me too. How can I get out? How can I make people understand and see what I see? A lot of time, I just give up and go on with life. Sometimes, I try. I really do try. I guess that’s why I hang onto art and writing and music just like a newborn cub hangs on to its mother. Because those things are my hope for survival. How else can I express the pent up emotions that threaten to overwhelm and even kill me most of the time?

Mundane things are also my anchors of hope every time I get wallowed up into deep thoughts and feelings I don’t understand enough to be able to express them through writing or art or songs.

I look at the ordinary things and bubble up to the surface of the everyday, the obvious, and the ordinary and breathe again.

Then I smile.

And go on with life.

Renewed.

Until the extraordinary kicks me under again and I swim for a while and enjoy and get overwhelmed again.

Then the cycle goes on.

That is my life.

I hope you don’t understand. Because I don’t. Fair enough.

  I said I PLAN to talk about my favorite word. I didn’t say I will.

#500 words #day 2 #mundane #mundanity #joy writes