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percyvquinniv · 2 years

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Every time I dive into OFMD analysis-es I find new angles that I hadn’t thought of before. I 100% squealed in recognition when I noticed the Candle Thing, but I’m loving the thought put into how that relates to his toxic masculinity- which is also something I unconsciously absorbed as a kid, being the only AFAB person in a huge group of male friends

A Fellow Masochist’s Perspective on Izzy

(I wasn’t going to write about Izzy anymore. But then of course I did, because I’m me. We just gotta do what we gotta do. FUCK.)

[This is like half meta about my views on Izzy as a masochist and half my attempt to explain why him being shown the way he is is so important to me on a personal level. I just can’t separate these two issues even though I know I’m getting way too emotional over this. I guess there’s not a lot of people who would be a target audience for this, but I need to get it out of my system.]

Soooooo… So. So so so so. I made this comment on Facebook about how Izzy being a sad little masochistic boy gave me feelings no other fandom has been able to give me in about a decade. Which was a joke, of course, we all laugh at Izzy’s pain kink. Ha ha. But then I realized it’s also very much not a joke. Because I can indeed remember the last time I felt like this and it was when I first watched Lawrence of Arabia. And that movie turns SIXTY this year.

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Let’s be clear. Izzy IS a masochist, plain and simple. I’ve already written about how I think he’s more into power play than pain itself, but then I do realize how often these seem too similar to be simply labeled as one or the other. These things are way too complex to be simply analyzed and quantified as often pain becomes a tool of power. And I don’t necessarily mean “power” as in a relationship between two people, it may also mean (and often does) power over one’s own body, and in a larger perspective, one’s life.

In episode 3 there’s this scene with Izzy back on the ship, giving Blackbeard a report on Stede. He comes into Edward’s cabin and tells him how Stede isn’t interested in meeting. And while doing that, he burns his hand on a candle. Edward has his back to him, so he’s probably unaware that Izzy is even doing it. So he’s not doing it for Ed (I’ve written about the power exchange dynamics between them here), he’s doing it for himself. Is he punishing himself for lying to Edward (’cause he didn’t tell Stede he was working for Blackbeard because he didn’t want them to meet)? Is it a way of proving to himself that he’s strong - unlike Stede - and therefore worthy of Edward’s attention? Does he even know why he’s doing it? I really don’t think he does, I think it might be something that he just does instinctivenly and without any deeper thought (especially seeing that he does the same thing in episode 7 while talking to Spanish Jackie and accounting for the fact that he’s not the type of person to analyze his feelings in general). And I absolutely adore it to bits.

It’s shown from a few different angles, so we’re being made aware that it’s important. But at the same time he’s talking to Ed about Stede, like him doing it wasn’t all THAT important. Like it’s just a thing that he happens to do while carrying on with his responsibilities as Blackbeard’s second-in-command. And yet the camera shows him burning his hand with nothing else happening visually. It goes on for about ten seconds, which is A LOT when it comes to movie editing. They’re coding it as something that is BOTH a crucial part of his identity AND just one of his many traits. (And it’s not just here that they’ve done this, the scene when Ed cuts off his toe with Avalanche playing in the background with its lyrics about conquering pain is just pure damn genius.) And honestly, when did that ever happen before?

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Now, I know there’s been a considerable and overall very positive move to normalize BDSM lifestyle and practices. (And I’m certainly NOT talking about the horrible abusive garbage like 50 Shades of Grey or 365 Days.) But it always seems to go one of two ways, neither of which makes me feel the way OFMD makes me feel.

So, on one hand we have the media meant to educate vanilla peope about the issue, while at the same time trying to build their capital on being somewhat naughty, with Netflix’s Bonding being the prime example. I’ll be the first person to say that the show was important in disspelling a number of popular misconceptions and trying to broker some deeper understanding between kinksters and the rest of the populace. Hell, I LOVED the talk about trust and boundaries Tiff is given by her boss in the second season. But its characters - those who are truly into the lifestyle and not just in it for the money - don’t really come off as fully fleshed characters. They are mostly just Tiff’s clients and are often characterised solely by their kinks. And that makes it impossible to relate to them.

Then we get the shows with well rounded characters who just happen to be more or less tangentially connected to BDSM, for whatever reason. Irene Adler being a dominatrix on BBC’s Sherlock. Kat doing the video dominatrix stuff in the first season of Euphoria. Joanna and Tyrell doing bondage on Mr. Robot. That whole fake-kidnapping-actual-s&m-roleplay thing on Cucumber. It happens more and more which is great. But it never really felt all that important to who any of these characters really are. It’s usually about money or just a simple way of quickly allievating boredom in the bedroom (which are both totally valid, to each their own, it just doesn’t feel like it’s something that is crucial to the core identity of any of these characters). Or worst of all, it’s just an embarrasing eccentricity intended as a pun. So of course I can’t really relate to any of it, even if I do appreciate it being shown in mainstream media at all.

If hard pressed for an answer about any representation I found compelling, I’d have to say that Transparent hit the closest to home with Sarah’s experiments with BDSM, but even that felt more like a three-episode-long subplot rather than an attempt to really make it an integral part of her character. And then I’m given Izzy. Izzy for whom his masochistic tendencies seem so deeply ingrained that they are crucial to who he is. And yet he isn’t at all reduced to being just the sad little masochistic boy, because there’s also so much more to him. No wonder I’m so drawn to him, because the only other piece of mainstream media that made me feel so seen is sixty years old.

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I’m not at all saying that what Izzy is doing is in any way healthy. His relationship with Edward - the only meaningful relationship in his life - is very toxic and right out mutually abusive. He’s so fixated on the balance of power which makes him feel safe that he’s willing to suffer a great deal to keep that balance - and willing to hurt Edward as well, even though he’s the closest thing to a friend Izzy has. A point has been made (here) about how he feels that he only deserves physical closeness when it’s justified by his own defeat. He clearly craves submission and yet he has to be forced into it - and I don’t mean “forced” in a fun, playful, BDSM-like way, I mean he literally needs things to be done to him without his consent. He doesn’t just need pain (which is fine), he needs abuse (which most definitely isn’t). Because Edward making this decision for him means he doesn’t have to acknowledge this need. Because acknowledging that he wants to submit to another man would shatter his self-image and make him feel weak, which he can’t afford. None of this is healthy.

But. Let’s imagine for a moment that he was to learn to let his guard down and let go of the toxic masculinity he’s so dedicated to - which would also very much help him stop seeing his need for submission as shameful (because it’s toxic masculinity, with its inherent homophobia, that tells him that no real man would be willing to submit to another). I’m not saying that it’s going to happen, I’m not even sure if I want it to happen. But let’s just imagine it. That wouldn’t stop him being a masochist. These needs don’t just go away, but you can learn to fulfill them in a safe and healthy (both physically and mentally) way. To find a healthy outlet for them. The feeling OFMD gives me is that everybody around Izzy would be 100% fine with him being like that. And THAT feeling is so very difficult to come by.

Why exactly does the Kraken cut off Izzy’s toe? Sure, it’s a punishment for threatening him and being disrespectful in general, Edward is full of rage and acting out. But I don’t believe he would necessarily do that if Izzy wasn’t the way he is. Blackbeard recognizes that in order to trust him again, Izzy NEEDS that punishment. It is fucked up for sure, because their whole relationship is fucked up, but there IS the act of recognition that this man needs pain (and humiliation of being made to eat the toe) to feel safe in the world. Edward ACKNOWLEDGES that Izzy needs this even though Izzy himself isn’t capable of acknowledging it. What Ed is doing here is that in his own twisted fucked up way he is actually showing respect for who Izzy is. (Then there is the confrontation between Jim and Spanish Jackie’s husband. Jim spits him in the face and he quite matter-of-factly tells them that he’s into that. And everyone around just accepts that, and I didn’t get any feeling that they judged him for that in any way.)

What OFMD was able to do that no other TV show has done for me before is to create a safe space for pretty much everyone (I do get the criticism of it glossing over the implications of Stede being a slave owner, but that’s quite a different conversation). We get multiple queer couples on the show, we get a non-binary representation, we get a huge and diverse POC representation, we get a wonderful discussion of toxic masculinity and a brilliant deconstruction of the stereotypical top/bottom dynamics in gay couples (in the fencing lesson scene, with Edward being the more experienced one and still being the one who gets penetrated by the virgin Stede). And for the first time in oh-so-many years (or maybe ever?) we get a world where I feel being an out masochist would be fully accepted by everyone and yet it wouldn’t get you reduced to just this one aspect of your identity in their eyes.

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As someone whose policy has always been total openness, over the years I’ve had people approach me and ask what the appeal was. Why did I enjoy getting hurt. And I really DO get the curiosity, because it’s very counter-intuitive for most people. It’s just that it’s so hard to explain it to someone who isn’t like that. Either you feel this way or you don’t, and if you don’t, understanding may be quite difficult.

So I’ve always used one of two things to try to explain how I feel about it: Bob Flanagan’s poem Why? or the opening scene from Lawrence of Arabia (the trick, William Potter, is NOT MINDING that it hurts), because these were the only pieces of media I could truly relate to. But then, one of these is just a short poem by a man who’s best known for being that guy from the music video for Happiness in Slavery by Nine Inch Nails, so it’s hardly mainstream media. And the other is a sixty-year-old movie - based on a ninetysomething-year-old book - which is deeply problematic in more than one way (from glossing over just how dishonest Lawrence was with the Arabs concerning their chances for actual independence to Alec Guinness playing an Arab prince which is just totally off-putting).

And then I’m given Izzy. Yes, he is a horrible and toxic man who’s both abusive towards everyone around him and dealing with his own needs in an extremely unealthy way that borders on being self-destructive. BUT. He’s being acknowledged for what he is, both by the characters within the show and the creators who make sure the viewers won’t miss it. And yet he’s not just that, he’s his own person, with his own motivations and feelings that go way beyond his proclivities. AND he exists in a world where him being like that would most probably be completely fine with people around him. No wonder I’m losing my mind over it. Because I was given a piece of modern mainstream media that makes me feel more seen and more validated than I even thought possible. And it’s a feeling I will treasure FOREVER.

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percyvquinniv · 2 years

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Hi there! I'm a mod for the JonElias Prompt Week Event @joneliasweek and we're just about to kickstart the event! Our prompts will be released 6/19 and the week itself will be 7/17-7/23. Our FAQ and schedule are up on the blog, and our askbox is always open for questions, so feel free to ask! Wanted to let you know this is happening, feel free to reblog if you'd like to support! -Mod Guess

Oh gawd, I’m like never logged on and totally missed this.... but I guess I’m prepped for JonElias prompts in two months now ^^;;;;

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percyvquinniv · 2 years

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Whoops, got a lost pirate all stuck up in the rigging~

I canNOT get away with posting this on my main account so here Tumblr, this is for you 💖 I for-sure have the gay pirate brain rot, and I’ve read some marvelous AO3 stories by ketchuppacket and Hymn. This isn’t particularly inspired by any one fic, I just wanted some practice w this pose and Izzy seemed as good a participant as any. 💖

#ofmd izzy #izzy hands #ofmd fanart #ofmd fic #AO3 fanfic #ao3 ofmd

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percyvquinniv · 2 years

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Rough couple weeks, here’s some vent art. This was part of a dream scene that mayyy end up on AO3 at some point.

#ao3 #dnd tiefling #tw vent #vent art

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percyvquinniv · 3 years

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Had kind of a shit night, sat down and wrote this. I was surprised I didn’t find too many MAG/D&D tags, so let me know if I missed anything and what I should tag it as!

Fandom: The Magnus Archives (Podcast) Rating: Not Rated Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Gerard Keay Additional Tags: Mary Keay's A+ Parenting, Gerry Week 2021 (The Magnus Archives), ADHD Gerry Keay, author is ADHD, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Doubt, rpg as therapy, Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition, Dungeons and Dragons, RPG, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Gerard Keay Lives Summary:

Gerry's had a rough day.

"...he picked up Horgrar’s journal, with his level-15 character sheet tucked neatly into its pages, and cuddled up with it beneath his thickest quilt. Gerry suspected it was the closest he could come to giving himself a hug."

#magnuspod #the magnus archives #The Archives crew plays dnd #This is really about Gerrys relationship to his character tho #goth kids play warlocks I dont make the rules #no beta we kayak like Tim #Jon is DMing and you KNOW the Archivist uses his best theater kid voice #dnd #dungeons and dragons

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percyvquinniv · 3 years

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the adventure jarchives

inspired by a comment earlier today where someone said they started listening to The Magnus Archives because they thought it was an Adventure Zone arc (Justin is DM'ing, because this game doesn’t exist) Griffin (Martin): I bring him some tea for +1 healing psychic damage. Justin: Jonny Jimbo Jarchivist, roll for insight. Clint: Still a one. Justin: Okay, so, you don’t think he’s trying to poison you – you can still drink your tea – but this guy is definitely still sus. Griffin: I go to my room and cry. – Justin: Roll for perception. Travis: Ha-ha! Melanie rolls an eighteen plus two. Justin: Yeah, that’s definitely not Sasha. Jarchivist, roll for perception. Clint: Still a one. Justin: You have no idea what she’s talking about. Clint: What do you mean, Melanie? That’s Sasha! Travis: Ooooooh I hate you so much right now. –

Clint: I shake her hand. Griffin: YOu WHAT Travis: That’s an Avatar of the desolation of the blackened earth, the lightless flame! You can’t shake her hand! Clint: I need that info! Griffin: The info doesn’t MATTER if you’re a PILE OF ASH Justin: Roll for damage. (waits) Huh. Okay, that doesn’t kill you, but your hand is pretty fucked. Clint: She said it wouldn’t hurt! Justin: Dude. (laughter interfering with his character voice). I’m evil. I lied.

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Justin: So, the archives is being attacked by a Flesh monster – Clint: What kind of flesh monster? Justin: Shut up, Dad, you’re dead. Clint: I’m not dead! I’m in a coma! I have infinite death saving throws, and one of them is going to work! Griffin: Jarck, don’t play with my heart like this. (to Justin) What kind of flesh monster? Justin: This dude is just. A brick house full of organ meat. (in deep, garbled character voice) Archivist! Come out come out wherever you are!

Travis: You sound like Jabba the Hutt. Justin: Oh I’m way bigger than Jabba. Jabba’s got nothin’ on this body.

Griffin: I run away screaming. (rolls)

Justin: You…successfully run away screaming.

Travis: I fly into a rage! Finally! I roll to do some sick moves with my knife. Justin: You do the sickest moves with your knife. He’s not dead though. Travis: I call to Helen for backup.

Justin: Oh, sweet. Roll for persuasion. (checks dice) Yeah, she’ll help you. Travis: Helen! Throw ‘em in the brig! By the brig I mean tunnels. – Travis: I hook up with Georgie from the ghost podcast. Justin: Yeah, you don’t need to roll for that. That’s just good storytelling.

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percyvquinniv · 3 years

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I’ve been listening to a lot of Rusty Quill Gaming and hear me out…. Martin as a GM is the same as Alex as a GM.

And yeah, sure, everyone expects Jon to get 20 on all his perception checks but he CONSTANTLY rolls really low and even though the beholding TELLS HIM EVERYTHING he is viciously against metagaming and plays cluelessness to a fault.

I vaguely remember a Magnus Q&A session where Johnny and Alex discussed their D&D classes, but I didn’t double check anything and just went with my gut. (Basira is a Paladin, Daisy is a Barbarian, Melanie is a Rogue, Georgie is a Cleric and Jon is a Wizard.)

And Martin is out to cause psychological trauma through excellent storytelling. >:)

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percyvquinniv · 3 years

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Just a little fire practice ^^; whaddya mean there used to be a forest there?

#dnd tiefling #dnd sorcerer #fireball is just too much fun ok #procreate #dnd 5e #d&d homebrew #dnd character #tyranny of dragons

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percyvquinniv · 3 years

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This is about Sci-Hub. yeah we get it.. gatekeep knowledge and protect the interests of capital…

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percyvquinniv · 3 years

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this painting came to me in a dream

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percyvquinniv · 3 years

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ALWAYS search the bookcase hehe <3 Very happy to have found this

Collection: I Search the Bookcase!

This 3-page collection of ideas for books on your in-game bookshelves should help you figure out what to say when one of your players goes to inspect the mad mage's books. Books are a great way to embed lore into your world and share it with your players. Additionally, some books may have been owned by magical creatures, or a wizard may have left a note or two in the margins, creating a whole new adventure for your players to chase after. Or maybe you'd rather make your own books? These tables will help you decide what it looks like, how it's written and what's so special about your books.

For better, full-page high quality imagery, take a look at the collection "I Search the Bookcase!" at the Homebrewery here!

#dnd homebrew #DnD 5e #I am a horrible book goblin both in and out of session

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percyvquinniv · 3 years

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Ooooooiiiiiiii the sleep mechanics spoke to me. I’ve been playing my character for longer than I’ve been diagnosed so there’s so many “personality traits” he has (like nearly-never sleeping) that I’m now aware of as ADHD traits and- yeah. Very nice.

homebrew autism & ADHD mechanics

been thinking about homebrewed disability mechanics for a while and thought i'd make a post with some suggestions based on my experience as a disabled self-advocate and disability coach. i've seen mechanics go around but i haven't seen them broken down by traits! also disclaimer: i am autistic but my experience with ADHD is through friends, family, and clients and i did consult to make the ADHD traits

**i recommend choosing 1-3 of these to emphasize mechanically for your character, and inhabit the rest of the neurotype through roleplay**

shared traits:

special interest/hyperfixation: choose 1-3 interests for your character. you make either intelligence OR wisdom checks about that interest with advantage. if taking an hour or more to engage with the interest, you gain the benefits of a short rest. if you must unwillingly disengage or move away from an interest topic, make a dc 10 intelligence saving throw. on a success, you are able to disengage. on a fail, you will do anything short of harming allies to stay with the special interest, and if there is a person or creature tied to your interest (such as a knowledgeable figure, celebrity, or particular species) you enter the charmed condition for them

time blindness: roll with disadvantage on wisdom and intelligence checks having to do with time, timed events, or order of events. if making an investigation check, you can lose track of time and trade one in-game hour for advantage on the check. add a free 'orb of time' to your inventory - you are unable to tell the time of day while indoors besides use of this item

sleeping issues: if going to bed before midnight, make a dc 10 constitution saving throw. on a success, you fall asleep normally. on a fail, roll 1d4. that is how many hours it will take to fall asleep. while waiting to fall asleep, you cannot be surprised by enemies. on a natural 1, you are unable to fall asleep that night and do not get the benefits of a long rest. you have advantage on saving throws against being put to sleep by magical effects, but may choose to fail them if you wish

sensory processing disorder: as decided by the dm, in busy, chaotic, or loud environments, your passive perception is knocked down by 5 and you have disadvantage on investigation and perception checks, and charisma saving throws. in quiet and calm environments, you get advantage on perception checks involving the senses and you cannot be surprised by enemies

executive dysfunction: **choose 2** 1) once per long rest, roll a dc 10 intelligence saving throw. on a fail, you lose one item from your starting pack. 2) if rolling to recall a list or instructions, make a dc 10 intelligence saving throw. on a fail, the dm may remove 1d4 of the items before telling you. 3) if making an investigation check that takes over an hour in-game, roll a dc 10 constitution saving throw. on a fail, you are too bored or frustrated to continue and auto-fail the investigation check. 4) when approaching a task that will take some time in-game, roll a dc 10 intelligence saving throw. if the check is failed, roll a d4. on a 1 or 2, you underestimate the time needed by one hour. on a 3 or 4, you overestimate the time needed by one hour. 5) prereq: spellcaster. when preparing spells for the day, roll a dc 10 intelligence saving throw. on a fail, use a random number generator to select one spell and take it off your prepared spells list. use the generator again to prepare a different spell at random

autism:

motor issues: choose between athletics and stealth, or acrobatics and sleight of hand. on one set you have advantage, and on the other disadvantage. you auto-fail dexterity saving throws while under the cover of the darkness spell or under the blinded condition

social: you have disadvantage on insight checks to tell if unfamiliar people are lying to you or using sarcasm. when telling an unfamiliar person a surprising truth, your persuasion check is instead treated in-game as a deception check. if you make a saving throw for a zone of truth spell, add 5 to the dc for only yourself. you may add one free language, or tool or weapon proficiency

meltdown/shutdown: make a list of triggers. when faced with a trigger, make a dc 10 wisdom saving throw. any character can use an action to grant advantage on the roll, including animal companions or familiars. on a success, nothing happens. on a failure, the player chooses between three consequences: meltdown, shutdown, or aggression. meltdown: you take on the 'fear' condition. shutdown: you take on the 'stunned' condition. aggression: you must use your action to attack - if the character is a non-combatant, it is a non-lethal unarmed strike. on any of the three consequences, a character can use their action to prompt another dc 10 wisdom saving throw. on a success, the condition is removed, but you take one level of exhaustion (if the condition is entered during a battle, the exhaustion is taken after the battle is over)

ADHD:

rejection sensitive dysphoria: at the trigger of rejection (real or perceived) make a dc 10 charisma saving throw. on a fail, you enter the stunned condition. you or an ally may use an action to prompt another saving throw to end the condition. when the condition is ended, you take one level of exhaustion (if stunned is entered during a battle, exhaustion is taken after the battle is over). the spell vicious mockery always prompts the RSD saving throw, and does max damage if the RSD saving throw has been failed in the same battle. you get max healing from healing word spells, and automatically get a 4 when under the effect of guidance

impulsivity: you auto-fail the saving throw for the suggestion spell. before rolling an attack, you may choose to subtract 5 from your attack roll in order to add your proficiency bonus to the damage. dash is a bonus action for you

focus: **choose 1** 1) inattention: if making an investigation check that takes more than 10 minutes in-game, first roll a dc 10 constitution saving throw - on a fail, you become bored and roll the investigation check with disadvantage. you roll with disadvantage to remember proper nouns. in a combat with 3 or more enemies, if more than one enemy is within your normal movement speed, you must pass a dc 10 wisdom saving throw to attack the same enemy multiple turns in a row. 2) hyperfocus: while making an investigation check, if you spend double the usual in-game time on the check, you will roll with advantage, but if you are interrupted before that time can pass, you roll with disadvantage. if engaged with a task, roll 1d4 - this is the amount of hours that will pass in-game if you are not interrupted - during this time your passive perception is knocked down by 5. in a combat with 3 or more enemies, you must pass a dc 10 wisdom saving throw to switch targets or take a disengage

if you enjoyed or are planning to use these mechanics, it would be totally cool to drop me a kofi but absolutely no pressure! if this post does well enough i'll probably end up making more cause this was super fun!!

#dnd homebrew #adhdnd

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