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idiot seb moment #1: the humans will believe i’m fixing the manor by non-supernatural means if i carry around a new tool every 2.5 minutes (CH37)
it begins with a simple man and his log
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a man who knows what he’s doing.
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to begin he be brickin 
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softly grasp it
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we got three woods. three is enough.
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oh good spanner boy is here
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‘this will convince the humans i am normal like them’
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for my kuroshit/the good place AU!! tagging @freckles-deserved-better bc they indulged me in it
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I have utterly succeeded at this by coming down with a cold on Christmas Eve and I haven’t left my house since.
🤧
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Eugene gets me
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Ch 147 review: the ring
I'm really surprised neither twin has made a big deal of who has the Phantomhive Ring since they saw each other.
Considering it was a big enough deal to carve the complaint into Our Ciel's bedroom wall, I think it's weird that no one has mentioned it since.
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(ch 128 pg 14)
They've both explicitly claimed they are the rightful "Earl Ciel Phantomhive." If only the Earl is allowed to wear the ring, and if Real Ciel went to great lengths to keep it during their capture, why aren't they scuffling over it now? Shouldn't it be more important?
There was an entire section of the twins’ flashback in which Rachel Phantomhive explained to the older twin how special the ring is for the Earl. That backstory was revealed very recently, so it’s got to be important to the story now.
The older brother ought to have demanded its return before the younger brother was handcuffed and carted off by Scotland Yard. Instead, Our Ciel was still wearing it when he was handcuffed.
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(ch 144 pg 5)
But even though he still has it, Our Ciel isn't using it as part of the proof that he is the rightful Earl. He doesn't mention it as one of the reasons he deserves the title. He talks about how well he carried out his duties, how the queen conferred the title to him, and how well he kept the secret, but he doesn’t say anything about the ring.
It's not even being featured artistically. The ring is on Our Ciel's hand when he makes his claim, but it isn't part of the foreground in the drawing. You could easily miss it if you're not looking for it.
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(ch 147 pg 26)
So what's going on?
Maybe I'm just complaining too soon, and it will be a big deal in the next couple of chapters.
Or maybe the twins have both unconsciously realized the truth that metal and stone alone does not have real power to bestow a title. In that case, the complaint "who stole the candy from my tummy?" might be more a complaint about stealing, and less about the "candy" itself.
Or maybe someone other than the older brother carved that message into the wall? ... It's possible, but unlikely. Who else would even know enough to make that threat? And if it wasn't the older brother, then there wouldn't have been any reason for Soma to punch Ciel in the jaw on sight. So I'm not putting money on that one.
I'm putting my money on that first option. It's got to be important soon. I'm probably just jumping the gun.
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Ch 146 rant: telegraphy
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(Ch 146 pg 14)
Well, I guess Chlaus and Diedrich are never getting those telegrams.
Now that Lord Randall knows that Pitt assisted the Phantomhives in their flight, Scotland Yard should have him under constant surveillance until Ciel is recaptured, and should stop him from sending telegrams.
But what if Pitt can still get to a telegraph office and send one? Would it stand any chance of being useful?
No.
(I am kind of really into the history of early communications technology, so I'm using this as an excuse to rant a little bit. Please join me for a romp through telegraph history below the cut.)
Telegraph technology was inherently insecure because of the structure of telegraph networks. Telegraph services operated on huge networks of actual wires connecting human operators, and it's almost inevitable that a message would have to pass through multiple wires to reach its destination.*
To send a telegram, the message would be tapped out by a human in International Morse Code and received by another human on the other end of the wire, or printed to paper tape. That's already two people who have read your message. Then it would have to be routed to the next wire that would bring it closer to its destination. Entire departments could read your message before it reaches its destination.
And that's just within the telegraph service. Outside of the service, anyone with access to the wire can covertly tap into it to read the signal traveling across it. (This is the origin of the phrase "wiretapping"). (Literal wire tapping is still strategically important today. Check out Operation Ivy Bells from the Cold War.) 
Additionally, governments tended to have full access to all communications crossing international borders for good reasons, not the least of which was that international telegrams coming out of Britain had to pass through huge undersea cables, which were expensive and actually fairly new during the 1880s. 
Especially in the time of British Colonialism and just before World War I, telegrams to Germany would have been closely scrutinized and recorded for international intelligence.
So what do you do if you know your message is going to be read? You encrypt it.
It's not as simple as applying a cipher to your message though. Telegraph companies that served private citizens were not too keen on handling messages that were obviously encrypted, and they eventually restricted what kinds of messages could be sent, for good reason.
For one thing, governments didn't like the idea that they couldn't read all the communications passing through their lines, so governments discouraged overt encryption for civilian communication.
For another, heavily ciphered messages slowed down the telegraph operators. Operators became fluent in International Morse Code the same way we became fluent with Multi-Tap texting systems in the early 2000s. An operator could hear the morse code for a message and copy it quickly because they could understand the words in the language. However, since heavily ciphered messages don't sound like language, they take longer to transcribe. It would take more time and effort to hear and transcribe "pvry arrqf uryc" than "ciel needs help" because those letters don't make up familiar words.
Telegraph companies worked on volume, so anything that slowed down the operators cost money. They eventually cracked down on overtly coded messages for that reason.
(Which is not to say that telegraph operators didn't use abbrevs, bc they def did.)
(And it's not to say that private citizens didn't use cryptography either, because one of the primary uses of early telegraphy was to send stock market orders, and you can make more money if you're the only one who knows about a hot commodity.)
So the challenge for Pitt would have been to send a message to Diedrich and Chlaus that looks like an ordinary message, but uses a code they previously agreed on.
I would totally believe that the Villainous Nobles already have a code for telegraphed messages. They're pros. They'd have to.
I just don't think there's any way that a message sent from a known associate of Ciel Phantomhive to another known associate would stand any chance of being transmitted without being intercepted and stopped while Ciel is on the lam, because it was really easy for governments to intercept telegrams. 
Scotland Yard in Kuroshitsuji is a little inept, but they're not THAT inept.
--- *Remember how I said a telegraph would have to go through multiple wires to reach its destination? That's not really true in London at the peak of the telegraph. Before they figured out how to send multiple messages over the same wire at the same time**, demand for sending messages within the city outgrew the bandwidth of the system, so there were long waits to send messages. It got to the point that the wait time to send a telegram within London was longer than the time it would have taken to deliver an actual piece of paper with the message. So THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT THEY DID: the telegraph companies employed armies of boys as message runners to relieve the strain on the system. I love when manual systems outperform newer technology, so I think that's hilarious.
** That's a harmonic telegraph, which is the direct precursor to the telephone.
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Ch 146 review: Vincent’s photography studio
So here's a question: What did Vincent Phantomhive need photo studio for?
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(Ch 146 pg 12)
I had to double check the timeline of the history of photography to make sure it actually would have been a photo studio in his time, but that part totally works out:
We can assume Vincent worked as Queen's Watchdog in the period between Claudia Phantomhive's death in 1866 and his own death in 1885.
If nothing else, carte de visite were popular during that time. From Wikipedia:
The carte de visite was slow to gain widespread use until 1859, when Disdéri published Emperor Napoleon III's photos in this format. This made the format an overnight success. The new invention was so popular it was known as "cardomania" and it spread throughout Europe and then quickly to America and the rest of the world.
What would Vincent have done with a photo studio though? He was already a titled noble. He wouldn't have needed the income.
Maybe he used photographers the same way we've seen Ciel use a photograph against the Sphere Cult, to catch evil-doers redhanded and publish evidence of their crimes.
Maybe he was just fascinated with photography, and it was his "thing" in the same way that running a toy shop is Ciel Phantomhive's "thing." A fascination with chemistry and  invention is classic in the genre of Victorian mystery and crime-fighting heroes (a la Sherlock Holmes), so it would fit the mood of the story.
Maybe it was an excuse to have a hideout in London. Although that begs the question, what would Vincent have needed a hideout for? Our Ciel has very rarely needed a hideout, since again, he's a titled noble who can go where he pleases and doesn't need to run from the law (with rare exceptions). 
I suppose he commits a fair number of break-ins though, and probably needs a place to run when those don’t go well and he’s being chased by people with guns.
I think the most likely explanation is that he bought it at some point because it was convenient to his plans, the same way that Our Ciel starts businesses that serve his needs as Watchdog: - a new music hall to rival Sphere Music Hall - a new curry business to defeat Harold West and win the Royal Warrant
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Ch 146 context: The Great Stink
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The Great Stink was an event in central London in July and August 1858 during which the hot weather exacerbated the smell of untreated human waste and industrial effluent that was present on the banks of the River Thames. The problem had been mounting for some years, with an aging and inadequate sewer system that emptied directly into the Thames. The miasma from the effluent was thought to transmit contagious diseases, and three outbreaks of cholera before the Great Stink were blamed on the ongoing problems with the river.
The smell, and fears of its possible effects, prompted action from the local and national administrators who had been considering possible solutions for the problem. The authorities accepted a proposal from the civil engineer Joseph Bazalgette to move the effluent eastwards along a series of interconnecting sewers that sloped towards outfalls beyond the metropolitan area. [...]
Bazalgette's work ensured that sewage was no longer dumped onto the shores of the Thames and brought an end to the cholera outbreaks; his actions are thought to have saved more lives than the efforts of any other Victorian official. His sewer system operates into the 21st century, servicing a city that has grown to a population of over eight million. The historian Peter Ackroyd argues that Bazalgette should be considered a hero of London.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Stink
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Ch 146 review: Finny undercover
I’m so proud of Finny for being able to enter the Funtom store and keeping his cool long enough to scope out the place and make a purchase without blowing everyone’s cover.
He’s really grown as a capable Phantomhive servant.
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(ch 146 pg 5)
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Ch 146 review: Bitter Rabbit
Didn’t Yana Toboso recently occupy the Bitter Rabbit costume for a real life Kuroshitsuji promotional event? (link to @akumadeenglish ‘s translation of her tweets about it.)
Does that make this self-insertion? Because it’s definitely the same mascot. Check out the tag on the ear, almost hidden by the speech bubble.
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(Ch 146 pg 5)
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Real Ciel: I’m beside myself with excitement at the idea of a serious fight with my little brother!
Our Ciel: I’ll take on the ghost of my brother that’s arisen from his grave!
Me:
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seb’s reaction to ociel ordering him to kill a bunch of children:
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seb’s reaction to ociel furiously eating a whole duck whilst SCREAMING about his sibling and downing 500ml of soup:
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Ch 147 review: Does the new plan align with the contract?
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(Ch 147 pg 27)
At the end of chapter 147, Our Ciel resolves to defeat the "ghost" of his brother and reclaim the estate, manor, and title of Earl Phantomhive.
So here's my big question: Does that plan align with the contract?
The terms of the contract stipulate that Sebastian must obey and protect Ciel while he pursues vengeance against the "mastermind" who "attacked House Phantomhive" (ch 138 pg 30). If Our Ciel stops pursuing the mastermind, that's a breach of contract.
That's why I'm so interested in what Sebastian has to say when he pulls Ciel aside at the end of the chapter. How Sebastian handles this situation will be crucial to how I predict the plot turning.
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(ch 147 pg 28)
Sebastian might just be rebuking Ciel's table manors for now, but what will he do next? Will he pull him aside and repeat the same speech from the Green Witch arc, threatening to eat Ciel's soul on the spot unless he resumes his revenge? 
I think it's likely, considering he uses the same body language, even grabbing Ciel's face the same way he did when he threatened Ciel in Germany.
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(ch 147 pg 28)
Our Ciel might try to argue that he does need his Earldom in order to achieve revenge. His plan up until this point was to continue to operate as Watchdog and living in the manor so that his enemies would come to him.
I don't think that's a strong argument though. Ciel's strategy was fine in the beginning when the "mastermind" didn't know he was still alive, but we can safely assume that they know now. Our Ciel has the resources of a devil and his capable servants, and the "mastermind" must know he's still alive. He doesn't really need to title anymore to kill his enemy.
But what should we think if what if Sebastian doesn't pull Ciel aside and lecture him about the contract? What if Sebastian allows this to continue as though reclaiming his title is the same as achieving revenge?
I would take that as confirmation of one of two things:
Either Sebastian agrees that reclaiming the title is a decent way of discovering the "mastermind" and pursuing revenge ...
... or one of the people Our Ciel will need to defeat in order to reclaim the title is the mastermind.
(That might not be Real Ciel necessarily. It might be Undertaker, or someone else allied with them.)
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Oi I been living under a rock recently, how is Pitt (or Pete or whatever) and enemy to OC??
Pitt is willing to help the Phantomhive crew when they show up at his doorstep, but he’s not so loyal to them that he keeps their secrets.
He’s very clear that if he needs the money, he’ll sell the photo he took of Our Ciel Phantomhive when they entered the studio.
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(Ch 145 pg 13)
And he immediately gives up their location when Randall corners him.
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(Ch 145 pg 17)
Pitt might not be an enemy of Our Ciel in the sense that he would try to harm them.
But at this point, he’s not a helpful resource any more. When Our Ciel looks for allies to help him re-earn his Earldom, he should not look to Pitt for help. 
Maybe “enemy” was too strong of a term. He’s not an ally though. At best he’s a neutral third party.
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Ch 147 review: loyalties
Our Ciel complains that everyone turned their backs on him in this chapter. 
Is that really true though? How many of Ciel’s allies have actually turned their backs on him?
I made a chart.
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He hongry
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(Ch 141 pg 14)
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(Ch 147 pg 21)
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