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sexuallyfrustratedirectioner · 11 years

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Mr Styles (part 3)

Title: Mr Styles

Pairing: Harry/Jillian

Word count: 3,840

Mr Styles part 1

Mr Styles part 2

obligatory smut warning

"I’ll see you later then,” Harry smiled. I got on my tip toes to kiss him goodbye. As I left his building and walked to my car, I thought about the blissful night I spent with him. It had been the first time I’d ever stayed the night with a guy. But Harry wasn't just a guy, he was a man. Oh, and he’d shown that each time he grasped my hips possessively and thrust into me. Just the memory of last night was enough to flush my cheeks.

As I unlocked my car and got inside, I checked the time on my phone. I had a voicemail from my parents and a text from Morgan, both from last night. Where the hell are you? God, you’re so lucky I covered for your ass. Uh oh. With my stomach churning, I listened to the voicemail.

“Jillie, Morgan just called here looking for you. I thought you were going to her house tonight? Please call us back as soon as you can, your father and I are worried. Love you.”

I felt guilty as I deleted the message. I should’ve come up with a better plan. If Morgan wasn’t as sneaky as she was, I’d be caught by now. I started my car and decided I needed to talk to Morgan as soon as possible.

“She’s probably still sleeping, but you can head up anyways,” Morgan’s mom said with a gentle smile. It was a cold day in hell if Morgan was awake before noon on the weekends. I entered her room without knocking, threw my purse on the ground and jumped into her bed next to her. She stirred a little, her duvet was pulled up to her head and only half of her face was visible. A little bit of drool hung from the corner of her mouth.

“Hey, wake up. I have to talk to you!” She grumbled but didn’t open her eyes. “It’s really, really important.” Still nothing. I sighed. “It’s about Mr. Styles.”

That did it. Her eye shot open and she sat up quickly, hair mussed from sleep. “What?!” she shrieked. I said nothing, but got up to close the door and lock it. “Tell me! Tell me tell me tell me,” she bounced excitedly. I smiled a small, secretive smile before returning to sit on her bed.

“First of all, what happened with my parents?”

“Oh my god, I called asking for you and your parents were like ‘Isn’t she already with you?’ and I was like ‘Uh, she’s not here yet that why I wanted to see if she was there’ and oh my god, I was so freaked out.” Morgan’s eyes were wide. “I called them back and told them you had just pulled in so they weren’t suspicious but where the hell were you?”

“I’m gonna tell you something, but you can’t tell anyone. Seriously, ANYONE,” I told her seriously. Morgan had been my best friend for years and I trusted her more than anyone, but I had to be absolutely sure. If rumors about Harry and I started, I could ruin everything for him.

“I promise. Scouts honor,” she saluted me. I rolled my eyes, but settled in to deliver the news.

“I was with Mr. Styles.” Her eyes widened and she stared at me in shock.

“You ARE sleeping with him! Holy shit, holy shit. I knew it. I knew it! I can’t even…” she gasped. “You have to tell me everything, Jill. I can’t believe this.”

So I told her everything, keeping the details to a minimum. When I was finished, she just stared at me in silence.

“Say something.” I felt uncomfortable under her gaze. Was she judging me?

“You. You are the luckiest girl ever. But you have to tell me…how big?” She wagged her eyebrows. I threw a pillow at her face and laughed but she caught it. “Come on, don’t hold out on me. I’m your best friend in the entire world.” She put her hands close together and started to slowly draw them apart. “Just tell me when.”

My cheeks were stained red as a buried my face in her duvet. “Seriously though. What am I going to do? Date a teacher?” Ever since the incident with Miss Sanders, I still had some doubts.

“What does it matter? You’re eighteen. We’re seniors. We graduate in like, three months. Just keep it under wraps until then and you’ll be fine.” She had a point. The earth had been thawing out and spring was here. Only a few more months before graduation.

“You know what? You’re right,” I smiled. “Hey, wanna do something today? We can go shopping and get our nails done or something. Let’s have a girl’s day.”

“Hell yes!”

After a day of shopping and pampering, we decided to see a movie and call it a night. It was just after six in the evening when we bought our popcorn and drinks and headed into the theatre. We went to our usual seats in the back of the theatre and settled into the soft, red clothed seats. We talked mindlessly about upcoming assignments and the newest drama taking place at school.

“You know Tyler Bradford? The football player?” she gossiped.

“Yeah? Isn’t he dating Amy?” I liked to stay out of drama, but that didn’t mean I didn’t like to hear about it.

“Well, they were dating. But at Brady’s party last weekend, Amy walked in on Tyler and her sister having sex.”

“No way! What did Amy do?”

“Apparently she threw her drink at them and told her sister to…what the fuck is that?” she gasped. I followed her gaze in confusion. What was she—then I saw it.

Harry was walking into the theatre. With Miss Sanders. She was laughing at something funny he said and he was smiling. I wanted to disappear right into my seat. Thankfully, he mustn’t have seen me, because they sat down a few rows in front of us. I was happy he didn’t see my humiliation.

“What the fuck is that?” Morgan repeated, looking at me. “Does that bitch not know when to stop? Didn’t you say he told her he was seeing someone?”

“He did,” was all I could muster.

“Then what the fuck is she doing?” Morgan cried in outrage.

“I don’t know, I—“ Just then, the previews began to play. “Let’s just watch the movie,” I whispered quietly.

I was one more giggle away from getting out of my seat and strangling this bitch. I let out an annoyed sigh and tried to focus on the movie. My jaw was set angrily and I saw Morgan look at me sympathetically out of the corner of my eye. The sooner this shitty movie was over, the better. I wanted to go home to my bed and never leave.

However, my eyes continued to drift towards the happy couple in front of me. Ugh. She was giggling. Again. I narrowed my eyes and watched her watching him watching the movie. Why was she staring at him like that? I felt jealous, possessive, but I didn’t care. He looked away from the screen and glanced at her before turning his attention back to the movie. I watched in outrage as she put her hand on his cheek and guided his lips to hers. I felt my blood pressure rise. Were Harry’s words last night nothing? I watched in disbelief has he kissed her back.

I couldn’t take this anymore. “I need to use the bathroom,” I whispered to Morgan.

“Do you want me to come with you?” It was almost a rule to bring your girlfriend to the bathroom with you, but honestly, I just needed to take a break from everyone. I shook my head and got out of my seat. I walked purposefully past Harry, but refused to look at him. I didn’t care if he saw me leave or not.

Bright lights blinded me as I pushed out the doors. The lobby of the cinema was nearly empty, except for one kid vacuuming the permanently dirty carpet. I took a left, walking down a dark hallway that led to the side exit. I needed air desperately. There were tears brimming in my eyes that I refused to let spill. Just as I was about to push out the exit, a hand grabbed my wrist.

“Jill, wait,” Harry pleaded. I pulled my wrist free and turned to face him. His face was dejected and his eyes pleaded with me to listen. I stared at him coldly.

“I don’t know what you could possibly say to me. I have eyes and I know what I saw. I’m not stupid.” I cringed a little as my voice broke at the end.

“I know you’re not stupid, love. Just listen, please. I swear to God it’s not what it looks like.” He reached for my hand but I pulled away. His face fell even more. “She asked if I would come with her tonight. I reminded her I was...involved,” he looked pointedly at me, “but again, she said it was just friendly.”

“Yeah, you two looked very friendly in there,” I said bitterly. I knew I sounded like a bitch, but I didn’t care.

“I couldn’t just push her off of me, Jill. She’s a coworker. I couldn’t humiliate her like that. Before I left to come get you, I told her again I was with someone and this couldn’t happen. I made sure I set her straight. I’m sorry you had to see that.” He looked pretty pathetic, with sorry eyes. His voice sounded strangled and genuine. “I’m sorry.”

Damn. My head was telling me to forget him, but my heart said otherwise. “Just…please don’t ever do that again,” I closed my eyes and exhaled. As much as I wanted to hate him, to push him away, I couldn’t. He stepped forward and wrapped me in his arms. This time I didn’t pull away. He pressed a kiss to my temple and I breathed in his masculine scent.

“I won’t, sweetheart,” he whispered. “Hey, I have to get back in there but…do you want to come over tonight? Please?” His smile would hopeful.

“Yeah, I’ll come over,” I agreed with a slow smile of my own.

“Great. I’ll see you tonight then.” He leaned down to give me a quick kiss on the lips but I had other ideas. My hands wrapped around his neck as I kissed him back hungrily. Just as his hands travelled to my hips, I pulled back and smiled, aware of how much of a tease I was being. I slipped out of his embrace and laughed at his bewildered expression as I walked back towards the theatre. “Plan to stay the night!” he called.

Back in the theatre, I returned to my seat next to Morgan. Her eyes were glued to the screen.

“Did I miss anything?”

I pulled into Morgan’s driveway just after eight. “I need you to do me a favor,” I began as I shut the car off.

“What?” she looked at me suspiciously.

“I kind of need you to cover for me again.” I cringed as she judged me with a hard stare. Before she could lecture me, I defended myself. “We talked about it and it was just a big misunderstanding. He wants me to come over tonight. Please do this for me.”

She sighed, looking out the window. “Alright. But be careful. Don’t get your heart broken, okay?”

“Okay. Thank you, Morg. You know I love you.”

“I know, I know, you can thank me later after your sexscapade!” She grinned as she got out of the car. “Have fun!” she called in a sing-song voice.

Within fifteen minutes I reached Harry’s apartment building. On my way up to his place I called my parents.

“Hi Mom.”

“Jill, there you are! Where are you? Did you get our voicemails?”

“Yeah, I got them. My phone died and I forgot to call you back. Me and Morgan went out shopping and to a movie today.”

“That’s fine, honey, but please remember to call you. We were worried.

“I know. I’m sorry.” I finally reached Harry’s door and paused for a moment before knocking. “I’m gonna stay at Morgan’s again tonight. She really wants to have a movie marathon thing tonight. Is that okay?”

“Okay, but be home early tomorrow.”

“I will, Mom. I gotta go. I love you.

“I love you too, sweetie. Have fun!”

I hung up just as Harry opened the door. He’d changed out of the jeans and button down plaid shirt he’d been wearing at the movies. Now he was clad in a pair of gray sweatpants and a white V-neck.

“Hey,” he smiled then pressed a hello kiss to my lips.

“Hey,” I replied as I stepped into his apartment.

Harry grimaced. “I got kinda lazy, as you can see,” he pointed to his clothes, “so I just figured we could watch a movie.”

“That sounds perfect actually. I’m gonna go set my stuff down and change into comfy clothes, okay?” I was relieved we were just hanging out. The scene earlier had emotionally worn me out.

“Hurry back,” he whispered as he kissed my cheek. I didn’t think I would ever get sick of his touch, of his kisses. Each one sweeter than the last. Quickly, I took my bag into his bedroom and shut the door. I hastily took my clothes off and threw on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, not even bothering to keep my bra on.

Emerging from his room, I padded into the living room where Harry was lounging on the couch. I flopped next to him and kissed his chest. “Hi.”

“Hi yourself,” he grinned lazily. His finger traced my cheek and pulled my face up close to his. We spent the next few minutes making out when I pulled away.

“I thought we were going to watch a movie,” I teased.

“I’d much rather watch you instead.” He moved to kiss me again but I got up instead, laughing at his corny line. He sighed in annoyance as I walked to his DVD collection, picked a random movie, and put it in to play. Walking back, he had his arms outstretched to welcome me back. With my back pressed up against his chest, his arm draped over my waist, we settled in to watch whatever it was I had selected.

As the title menu appeared, I groaned at the same moment Harry cheered. Instead of some romantic comedy, I had unknowingly chosen some sort of boring action film.

“Payback,” Harry whispered slyly in my ear.

“For what?”

“Getting up to get the movie while I was trying to kiss you and be smooth.” I could feel the smile on his lips as he spoke behind me. I tried to scowl but my lips upturned a little.

“Shut up and watch things explode.”

Thirty minutes into the film and I was already bored of it. Too many men in suits running around shooting at each other. However, Harry was entrapped. Each time the main character was shot at, he would squeeze my hip. It was kind of turning me on.

An idea formed in my head. As innocently as possible, I yawned and stretched my body. My ass rubbed against Harry’s crotch and I heard him suck in a breath. Once more, I rubbed my ass against him and he gripped my hip tightly. I could feel his hot erection against my back as I teased him.

In return, Harry’s hand slid beneath my shirt where he cupped my breast. He thumbed my nipple, making goosebumps break out on my skin. I let out a small, breathless sigh. I was enjoying this game. I took my hand from my side and reached behind me. Massaging Harry’s thigh, I slowly moved upwards until I could palm his large erection.

“You’re driving me crazy,” Harry said in a low, hoarse voice.

“Just wait until I’m done with you.” My voice was uncharacteristically sexy. Where did this confidence come from? It didn’t matter. I was going to take it and run with it.

With no warning, I slipped out of Harry’s grasp and stood up.

“Hey! What are yo—“ he began, sitting up quickly. I dropped to my knees swiftly in front of him. He swallowed thickly. “Oh.”

I pulled at the band of his sweatpants and his cock sprung free. Stroking up and down gently, I brought him to my mouth.

I started out very slowly, teasing and licking and sucking my way down and back up. Harry’s hands found their way into my hair, holding onto me in need. Finally, I took him in my mouth fully and as far as I could. Holding him there, I peaked up at him through my lashes.

Harry was looking at me with an amazed expression on his face. His eyes were hooded in pleasure, his mouth slightly open. I continued to watch as I bobbed my head up and down his shaft.

“Jesus Christ,” he moaned, screwing his eyes shut. The feeling of power surged through me. In that moment, I knew I had absolute control over Harry. “Jill, holy fuck.”

“Mmmm,” I moaned and took him out of my mouth. I jerked him off while my mouth trailed kisses along his inner thighs, then kissed my way back up his dick before putting him in my mouth once again with even more fervor.

“I’m going to come, oh God!” Harry howled just seconds before I felt his release. I swallowed all of him until the very last spasm. With one last sensual lick, I released him and returned to the couch.

“Come here, you,” Harry growled and pulled me to him. He claimed my mouth with his hot lips and when I gasped, his tongue darted into my mouth. Along with his roaming tongue, his hands tugged at my shirt. We broke only to discard both of our shirts before we resumed our primal kissing. His mouth moved down my throat and began sucking on one of my hard, sensitive nipples. I dug my nails into his shoulder and arched my back.

Suddenly, Harry pushed me back into the couch and yanked off my shorts, along with my panties. “So fucking wet for me,” he said before pressing a kiss just below my belly button. “Time for me to return the favor.” Harry winked and the heat in my belly burned. His tongue flicked my clit and my hips bucked so hard that Harry had to hold me down by my hips. I ran my fingers through his hair and held on. He continued flicking my sensitive bud before sucking it into his mouth. I whimpered loudly. My whimper turned into a full blown moan his tongue darted inside my folds.

“That feels so fucking good,” I gasped. He flicked my clit quickly with the flat of his tongue and that’s all it took for me to come undone. My orgasm quaked my body and left my legs weak. “Oh my God,” I closed my tired eyes as the last spasm left my body.

“Call me Harry,” the cocky bastard said.

“Or,” I ran a hand down his stomach, “I could call you Mr. Styles.” I watched his eyes darken as he watched me. “Mr. Styles, fucking his favorite student. Isn’t that right?” I knew what I was saying was dirty, but the look in Harry’s eyes made me want to continue.

In a quick motion, Harry picked me up and carried me behind the couch. “You’ve been a bad girl, Jillian. Bend over the back of the couch.” His voice made me shiver, full of raw, electric power. I did as I was told, bending over the couch. I quivered in anticipation as Harry’s eyed me.

He slid off his sweatpants and kicked them off. His hard cock stood proud as he reached to squeeze my ass. Then I felt a delicious sting as he spanked me.

“Fuck me, Mr. Styles,” I moaned loudly. “Fuck me hard.” I felt Harry spread my ass cheeks apart and slide into me. He filled me completely and I never got used to the feeling. I cried out as he began thrusting into me, setting a fast and rough pace. Harry was grasping onto my hips so hard I knew there would be bruises, proof of our passion. I met his thrusts with thrusts of my own. The only sound was our bodies meeting and our sounds of pleasure.

After a few more thrusts, Harry stopped and turned me over. Kissing me hard, he picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He pressed my back up against the wall and entered me again. Harry fucked me relentlessly against the wall and I couldn’t contain my moans. Over and over and over again, I yelled his name.

“Scream my name, baby. Let everyone know who’s going to make you come.” I scratched my nails down his muscular back, making him grunt.

“Harder, Harry. Harder!”

Still holding onto me tightly, he carried me over to the kitchen table and laid me down. He lifted my legs to rest on his shoulders and he entered me deeper, hitting that one sweet spot. He quickened his pace as I moaned encouragements. I began to rub my clit frantically, feeling my orgasm approaching. Our rhythm became uneven and sloppy as both of us reach the peak. Harry stilled when our orgasms hit, feeling my walls squeeze his cock. I moaned loudly as he resumed, slowly and gently thrusting until we stopped shaking. Exhausted, he rested his head on my chest, trying to catch his breath. I wrapped my arms around his neck, holding him to me.

“That was best sex I’ve had in,” he paused to think, “ever, actually.” We were both sweaty and tired as we regained our strength. Just then, there was a knock at the door. Harry groaned loudly and stood up, pulling on his sweatpants to go answer the door.

“Hello?” he opened the door. I stayed safely out of sight.

“Hey Harry,” a man said with a thick New York accent. “Look, I know you’re having sex. That’s great. Sex is great! But can you and ya girlfriend keep it down next time? I’m trying to get some sleep, buddy.”

“Uh,” Harry coughed. “Yeah, Frank. Sorry about that.”

“No problem, man. Hello lady friend!” Frank called out.

“Um. Hi,” I called back.

“Alrighty, well I’m going to bed. Night Harry!” Frank announced

“Bye Frank,” Harry said before shutting the door. I climbed off the table and grabbed Harry’s hand.

#harry styles #one direction #1D #harry styles fan fiction #harry styles smut #one direction smut #1D smut #mr styles #harry styles one shot

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sexuallyfrustratedirectioner · 11 years

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posting the new Mr. Styles in a little bit. keep an eye out ;)

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sexuallyfrustratedirectioner · 11 years

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YOU HAVE TO FINISH THE RECKLESS AND THE BRAVE!! YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME (AND MANY OTHER PEOPLE) HANGING!!!!!

i'll definitely try, i promise!

#anotherniallanator

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sexuallyfrustratedirectioner · 11 years

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please continue to update the reckless and the brave! i have been waiting for awhile for another chapter and would love to read some more of it. if thats not a bother with you of course! and i can wait some more if you like! and if you choose not to continue to update it, thats fine! thank you so much for writing such amazing fanfics, it was an honour reading it! i just hope that you please take this message into consideration :) thanksxx

omg thank you so much i love you

#alyssa-lopez17

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sexuallyfrustratedirectioner · 11 years

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I am so happy you're back! I've been waiting for a while and I can't wait to see what happens next. I just realized I haven't been liking the posts oops

aw thank so much :)

#Anonymous

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sexuallyfrustratedirectioner · 11 years

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hi everyone, it's katie!

i know, i know, i'm back from the dead. it's been a hectic year, i can tell you that. i just want to address a few things.

first of all, i hope jenna has kept you all entertained! her fics are seriously awesome.

second of all, i want to let you know that as of right now i will NOT be continuing the reckless and the brave. it's not a priority of mine and if i'm being honest, i'm rather disappointed with it. over the year, i've worked on my writing a lot and i'm just not very impressed. however, i'd like to know what you all think! send me an ask whether or not you want me to continue with it or work on another fic.

third, i WILL be writing and posting another installment of Mr. Styles. i've been thinking about it recently and i really enjoyed writing that, so as of now i will be returning to those, as well as writing little drabbles in my spare time.

it's good to be back! i'm sorry if i made anyone mad by leaving this blog for the school year, but i really needed to focus and i couldn't do that with so many people depending on me for fic updates. but as i said, i'm back for the summer and if i can prioritize, i will try to write throughout the year as well.

thank you guys for all your continued support! it means the WORLD to me!

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sexuallyfrustratedirectioner · 11 years

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Letters (Part 4)

A/N: this is the last part of letters, i hope you like it :)

word count: 405

written by jenna

It didn’t take long for Harry to get up off of the sofa. Louis was already gone, but Harry had a good chance of catching him if he ran fast enough. He picked up the journal from its place on the floor, wondering when this would all be over.

His brain was moving a thousand miles per minute, and his fatigued muscles were doing their best to keep up. He stormed down the flight of stairs and ran as fast as he could toward Louis.

When he arrived at the hotel his chest was rising and falling faster than ever. His breaths were insanely loud, gasping for air.

He sat down with the journal and began to write.

One time, I told you I’d write you letters while you were sick, one word at a time. Those words may be what got me into this mess, but they’re going to get me out of it, too.

He knocked on the door and slid his note through the mail slot. As soon as he let that one go, he began writing again.

I’d like to forget a lot of what’s happened between us these past few months, no pun intended.

He slid that one through the mail slot too. Not long after, he heard the paper crinkle as Louis picked it up from the other side of the door.

He continued to write until every page except one was written on and slid through the mail slot.

He carefully wrote down three more words, and then slowly ripped the page out of the book.

He slid it through the door, and listened until it fell softly to the floor. He heard the crinkle if paper when Louis picked it up, and the silence that followed.

Harry kept nervously blinking, waiting for an answer.

“I love you too, Harry.” Louis said quietly.

Harry smiled wide for the first time in ages.

“Open the door then.” He laughed.

Louis did, and both boys greeted each other with a smile and stood to their feet. It was like they were looking at each other for the first time.

Harry held out his hand.

“Hi, I’m Harry.” He said jokingly.

Louis chuckled before stepping out of the doorway. He grabbed Harry and held him close, pressing his lips to his own.

He pulled away and stared into Harry’s eyes.

“I know,” he whispered, leaning in closer to Harry. “I remember.”

#larry stylinson #imagine #one shot #fanfic #fanfiction

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sexuallyfrustratedirectioner · 11 years

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Letters (Part 3)

A/N: i am so sorry you guys. part three and four have been written and posted, i just kinda forgot to post them on here... i really apologize for not being on this blog as much.

word count: 5,394

written by jenna

Harry crawled out from under the covers and swung his feet off the side of his bed. He was about to stand up, but the sudden motion made him extremely dizzy. He closed his eyes and rested his head in his hands. As soon as his head stopped spinning, all of the memories from last night came rushing back.

When Louis had walked away, he punched a wall to deal with his built up anger. All that did was create more pain, so he turned to alcohol. He must’ve drunk a lot, because there was a collection of empty bottles littered throughout the flat.

Everything continued to spin, and only slightly stilled when he heard his phone beep - It was a text from Louis. He sobered up a bit to read it.

I’m at a hotel two blocks down - don’t try to bring me home, I’m not going to go. Don’t try to talk to me either; I’m not going to listen. I’m just letting you know, because I know you’d worry.

Harry ran his fingers through his tangled hair and sighed. His heart felt heavy, and he could feel it sinking even lower. Everything was just all too much to handle. He was clueless on how he was going to explain anything now - Louis wouldn’t even talk to him.

He knew it was probably a mistake, and it would probably upset Louis even more, but he had to do it. Living life without the love of his life wasn’t an option. Harry picked up his phone and hit the reply button.

I know you don’t want to hear from me - you’ve told me that. But regardless of what happens between us, I can’t let you go without explaining some things. Please open the door for me when I get there.

He hit send, and sighed. He stood up and got dressed, not bothering to pick up any of the bottles.

Harry knocked on the thick wooden door. He waited, but didn’t receive an answer.

“Louis, you have every right to angry.” He said. “But please Lou, to save a shred of my sanity, please, please just open the door.”

He waited, and once again was standing in silence.

He was about to knock again when he heard the handle twisting.

Louis opened the door without saying a word. He stepped back to let Harry in. The tension was so thick, but Harry tried to ignore it.

“Hi Louis, it’s um, it’s good to see you.” Harry said.

“Yeah.” Louis mumbled.

He wasn’t going to make the situation any easier.

“Alright, listen Louis.” Harry said. “If I tried to explain, you honestly wouldn’t believe me. So can I just take you somewhere?”

Louis hesitantly agreed, and they both walked out of the hotel room surrounded by a thick, awkward silence.

Harry walked toward the opening in the woods, his heart increasing its pace with every step he took. He began to hear the flow of waves crashing, and he turned around to make sure Louis was still following.

They reached the clearing and the ocean view was breathtaking.

“Wow.” Louis breathed.

Harry smiled slightly as a bit of tension left the air.

“So, why did you bring me here?” Louis asked unamused, remembering he was supposed to be angry.

“This is going to sound weird, but will you go in the water?” Harry asked.

Louis knit his eyebrows together.

“Please Louis; it’ll make everything easier to explain.”

“I don’t understand, though.” Louis said. “I don’t know why swimming would make anything easier to explain.”

“Just trust me, Louis,” Harry said. “It’s just an attempt to try to make you understand. Please believe me. Just get in…”

“Alright,” Louis said. “I’ll go.”

Harry let out a shaky breath. This was it.

Louis dove head first into the water, feeling his body temperature instantly decrease. The clear blue ocean enveloped his skin as his body fully submerged, transcending into another world. The gap between the rocky ocean floor and his head was quickly closing. Everything was happening too fast. He felt waves crash around him as Harry jumped in after him.

Louis couldn’t focus on anything that was happening. Time stopped, and he felt as if he was dreaming. His mind flashed back to a different time; the first time he had jumped into the water.

Louis remembered that he was yelling about something. It was a happy yell, shouting about something before he jumped into the water. He remembered feeling overwhelmed, amazed by the fact that he was legitimately happy for once. He had jumped head first into the water as butterflies floated inside his stomach. He remembered his head crashing through the cold water. The last thing he heard was Harry’s laugh; Harry was happy too.

They were both so happy.

He remembered his head crashing into the bottom of the ocean, and everything turning black. He was breathing in, but it wasn’t helping. He was gasping, but his lungs were in severe pain, begging for oxygen. He breathed in again, but couldn’t satisfy his lungs. He was inhaling water, but it felt as if he was choking on rocks. His whole body was aching. He felt paralyzed; his brain told his body to move, but it wouldn’t. He was scared, but everything was happening so fast. He remembered the pain that was pulsing through him, and he knew he would’ve given anything for it to end. Almost as if his mind had been read, the pain vanished. Everything stopped and he was able to breathe again. His body was relieved to be free of the torture, but in his brain, he knew something was wrong. He remembered feeling surprised by how calm he was. In his brain he told himself it was supposed to happen this way. It was his time to leave this world, and he was just glad he got to spend his last few seconds with Harry, being genuinely happy. He was dying.

Louis remembered the relief leaving his body as pain flooded over him again. His heart was speeding up as he felt Harry’s arms wrap around him and drag him to the surface. He could remember the fear and anger in Harry’s voice.

“Dammit Louis! Don’t do this to me!” he had cried.

Louis wanted to scream. He wanted to cry.

I’m here, Harry, I’m not going to leave you.

He remembered wanting to say it. He wanted Harry to be happy. He wanted him to breathe, to be calm. But he couldn’t talk. Almost paralyzed, he felt everything spin. Everything went black again.

The memories weren’t clear between the time he was pulled out of the water, until the time he was being carried into the ambulance. He remembered a couple paramedics lifting him onto a stretcher. They were talking about a lot of things.

He’s severely injured. He might not make it. It doesn’t look too good for him.

They had said.

He remembered feeling Harry’s presence. He couldn’t open his eyes to see him, or reach out to grab him, but he knew he was there. He remembered when Harry’s hand grabbed his own. There was nothing Louis had wanted more than to intertwine their fingers; to lean over to kiss Harry’s forehead, and whisper softly into his ear.

It’s going to be alright, Harry. I’ll be fine.

But he couldn’t. He couldn’t move. Couldn’t speak. And that, above everything else, was the most torturous.

Louis snapped out of his daydream. It’d felt like time had stopped for hours; he had been dreaming for so long. But in reality, it had only been a couple of seconds.

Harry grabbed onto Louis at the last second. If he waited any longer, Louis’ head would’ve smashed onto the bottom of the ocean again. Harry tugged at Louis’ torso, dragging him above the water.

“Louis!” Harry yelled. “What the hell were you thinking?!”

Louis looked up. “What?” he asked.

“You could’ve killed yourself.”

“Oh yeah, I um, I just…”

“Louis, are you alright?” Harry asked, concerned.

“No, I um, I mean everything’s ok, I mean…” Louis stopped talking.

The last line was so unbelievable that he didn’t bother to say it out loud. Instead, he whispered it to himself.

“I remembered.” He breathed.

“What was that?” Harry asked.

Louis didn’t answer. His vision was becoming blurred and his memories were slipping away.

“Louis,” Harry whispered. “Did you say that you remember?”

Again, Louis didn’t answer. Instead, he drifted off into another daydream. His head was spinning this time.

He sat down on the grass and rested his head on his hands.

“Louis, I’m talking to you.” Harry said. “I asked you if you remember.”

Louis broke out of his daze. The memories of the first day clashed with reality.

“Um, what? Sorry.” Louis said.

Harry sighed.

“Louis, you have to focus. I asked if you remember.”

Louis was trying to think. “I um…”

Harry was becoming impatient.

“Louis, it’s a simple answer. Yes or no?” He asked, gritting his teeth.

“No.” Louis whispered.

“That’s bullshit, Louis and you know it. We’ve been through enough. You were just in a trance… you can’t tell me you weren’t thinking anything; you can’t tell me you don’t remember. I’m tired of you being mad at me - Louis, you… You have to remember.” Harry sobbed.

Louis looked confused, but Harry couldn’t care less. He was in pain, and he was tired of hurting. He stood up and made his way from the ocean back to his flat. Maybe Louis would remember again tomorrow.

Harry woke up early and made his way to the hospital. He spotted Louis’ doctor the moment he walked in.

“Excuse me,” He said.

The doctor looked up for a second, but continued looking at her paperwork.

“I’m sorry sir; we run a tight schedule here. You’ll have to make an appointment.” she said.

“No, I just have a quick question.” He said.

She looked up at him. “Only if it’s quick.”

“Ok. Is it possible for a patient with memory loss to remember everything one moment, and forget everything the next?” he asked.

“Every patient is different. It depends. What patient are you talking about exactly?” she asked.

“Louis Tomlinson. He had severe head trauma and was in a coma. He was just let out of the hospital earlier this week.”

“Hmm. It’s highly unlikely.” she said.

“But it can’t be true.” Harry whispered. “He remembered me. I know he did.”

It took everything Harry had to not break down. He swallowed the lump in his throat that never seemed to disappear.

“Did he ever tell you he remembers anything?” the doctor asked.

“Well, uh… I, um… no, I guess not. But, but you don’t understand. I know he did. I could tell-” Tears silently slid down his cheeks as he held his head in his hands.

“You could tell what?” the doctor asked, beginning to become annoyed. “I’m sorry, but I can’t just take your word for it. You’re wasting my time, sir.”

He took a couple of breaths and stood up quickly. Tears continued to slide down his face as he looked at the doctor. Harry rarely got mad, but he couldn’t take any more bad news. This was it. He was done pretending everything was ok.

“You know what? I really don’t think you don’t understand.” Harry clenched his teeth. “I’ve been trying to hold this in, trying to be civil. You’re trying the best you can, and I get that. But I’m trying the best I can, too. I haven’t said anything about this for the past month, but I just can’t hold on any longer.”

He took another breath. The doctor looked up at him, anxious of what he was going to say.

“Louis wasn’t- isn’t my friend. Well, he is I suppose, but…” He breathed again. “But he’s a lot more than that. He’s my boyfriend. This wasn’t just a vacation for the two of us. It was supposed to a family vacation, and we to pick up our son from a foster home here.”

“Sir, I’m sorry,” the doctor said. “I didn’t know he was your boyfriend, and I didn’t know he meant that much to you. But it doesn’t make a difference, because if he doesn’t remember, then-“

Harry cut her off.

“I’m not done.” He said.

He took another deep breath, and continued.

“There’s a lot that went wrong, and I should’ve been paying closer attention to him. But right before Louis dove in the water for the first time, we kissed. It was the best moment of my life, knowing we were happy. Everything was right; no one was there to judge us. It’s so difficult to find that one person who means so much to you. But against all odds, I managed to find him.”

He looked up at the doctor, who seemed to be listening.

“I brought him back to the ocean yesterday, hoping it would strike his memory. I wanted him to remember. To remember me, remember our son. And he did. I don’t care if it can’t be proven, I know he remembered me. I assumed there was something was different when he came out of the water, but I couldn’t tell for sure. Then he wouldn’t respond to me - almost as if he was in a trance. I knew he remembered everything. I could just - tell. For the first time since the accident, I thought we were going to be ok. I need him to remember me. If he continues to forget, then it’s all useless.”

His voice cracked again as he sat back down in the chair. He was expecting to receive an earful from the doctor.

You’re wrong. She would say. He couldn’t have remembered you, it’s impossible.

But she didn’t.

She sat down on the chair next to him, and explained this the best she could. Knowing how much Harry loved Louis wouldn’t change the medical aspect of anything, but she could tell this had been wracking Harry’s brain. She had to give him a peace of mind.

“Sir,” she said, “Thousands of people experience memory loss each day. No matter how many individuals lose their memory, no case is the same. I suppose he may have remembered you. If that’s the case, it’s most likely a good sign. It means his memory is coming back. But you have to hold on. I know this is difficult, but he needs you to be patient. He is trying to get better. Stay strong. Keep trying.”

Harry sighed, picking his head up from his palms. It was nice to know him and Louis could actually have a future together.

“Thank you.” He breathed.

After his trip to the hospital, Harry was restored with a piece of confidence. Just as the doctor said, he had to stay strong. Had to keep trying. He walked over to Louis’ hotel and knocked on the door. Louis answered before there was time for a second knock.

“Hey, Harry.” Louis said simply.

“Hi.” Harry smiled.

There was a bit of silence as Louis waited for Harry to start talking.

“Louis, I need to talk to you.” Harry said. “A lot has happened between us that is literally impossible to explain. The only way it will make any sense is if you remember. So please Louis, just work with me. Help me restore your memory. I need this more than anything.”

Louis thought it over for a second.

“Under one condition.” He said. “No more lies, Harry.”

Harry sighed in relief, and nodded.

“Of course, Lou.” He said.

“Harry, I’m tired of being mad at you. You’re my best friend.” Louis said. “You don’t need to explain anything, but please, just stop it with the two sided stories.”

“I will, Louis.” Harry said with a smile.

The two boys wrapped each other up in their arms. Harry was happy just to be in Louis’ embrace again.

They backed away and smiled at each other.

“I’m still going to stay here in the hotel though.” Louis said. “It’ll be easier than moving all of my things again.”

Harry nodded.

“Sounds good.” He said.

He was just about to walk away, but he stopped for a second.

“Louis, I want you to remember everything as quickly as possible.” Harry said. “We need every second we can get, so will you meet me outside of my flat tonight?”

Louis agreed, and Harry smiled, finally feeling hopeful for the future.

Louis had done as Harry said, and met him outside of his flat minutes after the sun set.

“Louis?” Harry called out softly.

Simply saying his name, laying side by side in the darkness of the night made everything so realistic. It gave Harry hope that one day they could be normal again. They could have Thomas be part of their everyday life, they could lie next to each other every night, thinking back on the past, and hoping for an even better future.

“Yeah Harry?” Louis answered.

“Can I ask you something?” He asked.

“Well, you just did.” Louis responded.

Harry smiled, but became serious again.

“Louis, do you remember when I used to sing to you?” He asked.

“I um, I…” Louis struggled to find an answer.

“I’ll take that as a no.” Harry sighed.

Louis hesitated. “I’m sorry, Harry. I’m trying, I really am.”

Harry took a deep breath, and let it out slowly.

“I know you are Louis, I know. And thank you for that. It means a lot.” He said.

Things were silent for a while as they both tried to collect their thoughts.

“Harry, you should sing for me now.” Louis said.

Harry was surprised.

“What?”

“It just, maybe it will help me remember.” Louis said.

“Yeah, alright.” Harry nodded.

He took a breath. Louis remained quiet as Harry’s sweet voice broke the silence of the night.

“When the tears come streaming down your face, and you lose something you can’t replace. When you love someone but it goes to waste… Could it be worse?”

His voice cracked a little, so he stopped.

“Go on,” Louis said.

Harry took another breath - He felt strangely nervous.

“Lights will guide you home, and ignite your bones. And I will try to fix you.”

He looked over at Louis who was smiling gently and almost reached out to grab his hand. He stopped when he remembered it wasn’t the old Louis. Harry sighed, but continued to sing.

“And high up above or down below, when you’re too in love to let it go. But if you never try, you’ll never know just what you’re worth… Lights will guide you home, and ignite your bones. And I will try…”

Harry stopped singing when Louis cut him off.

His voice was soft; a whisper that sent chills down Harry’s spine.

“To fix you.”

Harry glanced over at Louis, trying to find the words to speak. His voice came out in just as shallow of a whisper.

“You remember the lyrics.” He breathed.

Louis continued to look up at the night sky.

“Fix You, by Coldplay.” Louis responded. His voice was quiet. “Your favorite.”

Harry swallowed his nervousness as Louis began to talk again.

“Harry, I…” He breathed in. “I, remember.”

Harry looked at him.

“Wh- what exactly do you remember?” Harry asked.

“I just… I remembered your favorite song.” Louis said. “I remembered it. It has to mean something, I know it does.”

“But, I mean, what do you remember about us?” Harry asked.

“What do you mean?” Louis asked. “You’ve already told me everything about us. We’re best friends. That’s all, right?”

“I um, yeah.” Harry said. “That’s it, Lou. That’s all it ever will be.”

He stood up, and took a deep breath.

“What’s wrong?” Louis asked.

“I’m sorry Louis…” Harry said. His voice was muffled by his sobs. “I- I can’t take it anymore. I’m sorry. I need to leave.”

He looked as if he was going to say something else, but he just wiped the tears from his eyes, muffled another apology, and then walked quickly inside his flat.

Harry didn’t turn around until made it inside the flat. When he peeked outside the window, he noticed Louis was still standing there, still confused. Soon, his confusion turned into anger, and he stormed towards Harry’s door.

He pounded on the heavy door, and started yelling.

“Why do you always do this?!” He screamed. “You never tell me both sides of the story, and you get emotional and walk away!”

Harry gulped. He could practically feel Louis’ anger through the door.

“You promised no more lies, and not telling both aspects of the story is a lie!” He said. “I know I’m the stupid mental patient and all and I forget a lot of stuff, but damn, Harry.”

Harry’s heart sank as Louis voice began to crack.

“I thought you knew me better than that.” Louis said. “I thought you were going to help me get through this.”

Harry didn’t even try to fight the tears. They began streaming down his face as Louis’ voice regained its anger.

“I know you can hear me, Harry!” He yelled through sobs. “I know you’re in there and you can damn well hear me!”

Harry was literally shaking as Louis’ voice turned into a whisper once more.

“I know you can hear me,” Louis cried. “And I hope you know I’m glad that I don’t remember a single part of our friendship.”

For the past hours, Harry had been drowning his sorrows in alcohol. Drinking is all he did lately. It made him feel less insane. Everything felt normal as the alcohol swirled within him.

He looked throughout the mess in his flat. Papers, clothes, dishes scattered everywhere. Harry looked at the mess again, and realized that the journal was becoming buried under all of the clutter. He was usually really good about picking up and making sure there was no clutter, but recently he saw no point in cleaning. The floor was still littered with the empty alcohol bottles from that night, two weeks ago when Louis left.

He walked over and picked up the journal. He flipped through the pages, and realized how stupid he’d been. Signing every page with “I love you,” silently hoping Louis would one day read it and recite it back to him.

He flipped to a clean page and grabbed a pen. Instead of his usual smooth and neat handwriting, there was angry, dark letters. Each mark punctured through three pages, but he couldn’t care less.

I’m being stupid. Hoping one day you’ll remember me. Well everything I’ve done, I realize I’ve tried too hard. I ruined anything we might’ve had. You’re talking to me now, but no matter how much I try to get you to remember, you can’t. You still think we’re best friends, and it’s killing me inside. By now, I realize I’m on the road to alcoholism. Drinking is the only thing that makes my thoughts clear. There’s something about making my head spin that lets me understand everything all of the sudden. And when I drink, everything makes sense. I realize that I need to let you go because you’ll never love me again. I need to give up. I need to learn to hate you. But the sad part is, is that I realize I can never truly hate you. But then, I come to the sudden realization that you’re not you. The person you are now isn’t Louis. I’m in love with the Louis you used to be. But this one, this man who pushed me too far, ran out of my life, and doesn’t remember me is the Louis you’ve become. It’s extremely difficult to love someone who can’t love you back. And sometimes, it makes me happy, because I realize it might not be so difficult to hate this new Louis. Maybe I can learn to hate the Louis you’ve become. I think with a combination of the alcohol I’m consuming and the demons inside my brain, I am slowly, thankfully, finally starting to hate you, Louis.

Harry took another swig of his alcohol and threw the journal across the room. He laughed slightly when it hit the wall and fell onto the floor with a loud thump. When it landed, the cover flew open and the pages were quietly ruffling in the breeze from the window.

Harry drank more of the alcohol and it took effect immediately, twisting his angry thoughts and making them compassionate again.

He looked over at the worn book lying there helplessly, surrounded by clutter on the floor. It obviously didn’t have feelings, but he felt sorry for it. The journal had so many memories, some good, and some bad. There were moments when he wrote in that journal, and swore he was talking to the old Louis. Almost as if the exact moment he wrote down his thoughts, the old Louis, wherever he may be, could hear them. That’s why he signed it with “I love you,” hoping the old Louis could somehow hear him.

The journal was also filled with those memories of hope. Hoping Louis would magically remember and everything was going to be ok. Well nothing was ok, and frankly it pissed him off that at one point he thought it could be. A force of anger overcame him as he walked over to the journal with every intention of throwing it away.

He roughly tore the journal from its place on the floor. He stopped breathing for a second as he realized what page it was on. The anger left his body as his finger shakily traced over the words:

I still can’t believe he’s mine.

He came to a realization. Not an alcohol realization, but a legitimate realization of how much of an idiot he had become. It wasn’t Louis’ fault he didn’t remember. It wasn’t anyone’s fault, it just happened.

He was overwhelmed with emotions as tears gathered in his eyes.

“I could never hate any part of you.” He breathed, clutching the book to his chest.

He curled up into a ball on the floor, and fell into a drunken sleep, still holding the worn journal close to his heart.

Harry woke up from the curled position on the floor. He didn’t even notice the hangover this time. He was so used to drinking that the alcohol barely affected his brain.

He opened the journal, tore out the page that Louis wrote on, and then pulled out the picture of Thomas that was tucked in the back cover. He folded up the papers and stuffed them in his back pocket.

He stepped outside and a cold breeze smothered his face. He shivered for two reasons. One, because of the sudden rush of cold air, and two, because of the sudden rush of cold air that made him realize summer was coming to an end. This was literally his last chance. If Louis still didn’t remember, they were going to have to fly back to London without Thomas. They would have to begin their separate lives, find new people to love, find a way to live without each other.

Making it to the door of Louis’ hotel room, he hesitated his knock.

He sighed, almost wondering if he should not waste his time. Despite his doubts, he knocked and waited.

Nothing.

He knocked again.

Still, nothing.

He was beginning to walk away when he heard a voice through the door.

“What do you want?” It called out.

“Louis, I have to give you something.” Harry said.

Louis slowly opened the door.

“What?” He asked annoyed.

Harry sighed.

“I have to give you one thing. It might help you remember.” He said. “Promise me you’ll read it.”

Louis’ eyes turned dark.

“Don’t you understand?” Louis responded. “You keep breaking your promises and then ask me to keep mine. These things go two ways, you know.”

“I understand, but I just- please read it.” Harry whispered.

“You said no more lies and you ran away again! You promised, Harry!” Louis said with anger.

“You think you understand, but you don’t, Louis. I’m not mad at you, I’m just upset…” Harry whispered.

“Why do you think you have a reason to be mad?” Louis yelled. “You swore you wouldn’t lie to me, and you did. Now you’re acting like you’re doing me a favor by not being angry!”

Harry was speechless.

“I- I know what you mean, but if you could please, please just read this…” Harry said, handing the journal.

“Don’t you get it?” Louis screamed. “I don’t want to read it. I don’t want you to beg at my doorstep. I just want you to leave me alone!”

Harry became just as angry. His deep voice bellowed, shaking the whole room.

“Fine then! Forget about everything! Everything you thought you knew, just forget about it!” He roared. “Mostly, I hope you damn well forget about me.”

He made his way towards the door, not stopping to look back. Not realizing that in his moment of anger, the photo and the paper fell out of his pocket, and onto the floor of Louis’ hotel room.

- The next day -

It was finally Louis’ turn to wait outside of the door.

He knocked, and Harry clearly heard him. He was lying on the sofa that was right next to the door, but he didn’t move.

Louis knocked again.

“Harry.” He called. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

He continued to knock, and Harry heard him lean his back against the door.

“I had no clue.” he said quietly. “No clue about anything.”

His back slowly slid down until he was sitting on the cement, ear pressed to the door.

“Do you want to know what I know now?” he asked. “I’ll pretend you’re the one who forgot.”

He took a deep breath in.

“So um, Harry, we were in love. We have a son, Thomas, who recently turned two. He has the best giggle in the world, and the prettiest brown eyes. He’s obviously not our biological child, but he looks like you. Not physically you know, his hair isn’t curly like yours, and he doesn’t have your dimples. But his eyes have that glimmer just like yours do, and he has the biggest heart. I didn’t get to spend much time with him yet, but I remember he’s so much like you. You’re so great with him. You treat him well, and talk about all of these adventures… He really loves you, Harry.”

Louis swallowed his pain.

“You never told me. You let me treat you horribly. You almost let me fall for you again, even though it could’ve messed everything up.”

Louis took a shaky breath, hoping Harry could hear him.

“You let yourself suffer. You wanted to make me happy. I’m not worth any of the pain I caused you. You put yourself through hell. Why’d you make yourself suffer?”

Harry didn’t answer out loud, but inside his head, the answers were racing.

You’d never believe me. It would’ve been too much pressure for you to compete with who you used to be. I wanted for you to recover before you were in a relationship.

The answers were literally endless. There were so many reasons why Harry did what he did, so many reasons as to why we was ok with breaking his own heart. It was all to save Louis’.

“Harry, I treated you horribly.” Louis continued. “Besides the fact that I couldn’t remember anything about our life, I got mad at you countless times. I thought you were lying to me, but really you were just protecting me the whole time.”

Harry held his breath.

“Harry, I just… I’m sorry. And even if you can’t find it in yourself to forgive me, I just want to let you know that I forgive you, I love you, I love Thomas, and I want you to have this.”

Harry picked his head up and wiped the tears out of his eyes. He saw the small leather journal fall through the mail slot, and heard Louis’ soft, forgiving footsteps walk quietly off the concrete and away.

#larry stylinson #one shot #imagine #fanfic #fanfiction

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sexuallyfrustratedirectioner · 11 years

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ARE YOU PEOPLES ALIVE???

HI ITS JENNA, I PROMISE WE'RE ALIVE AND I'M WRITING A FIC, BUT IT'S NOT POSTED YET AND IT'S GOING TO BE ON MY BLOG. THAT URL IS TATTOOSHIRE IF YOU WANT TO READ IT WHEN IT'S POSTED... why was that in caps idk.

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sexuallyfrustratedirectioner · 11 years

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Did you know that "The Reckless and the Brave" is a song by the amazingly talented pop-punk band All Time Low? Because it's really frustrating when directioners constantly use things from ATL (All Time Low) and claim them as theirs. Thanks! :)

this is jenna answering, and Katie is the writer of that fic. but I have talked to her about it before, and I can 374% promise you that she knew that, and that song is what she based the title off of.

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sexuallyfrustratedirectioner · 11 years

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Letters (part 2)

A/N: here's the second part to letters! dont be too mad at me, theres a 3rd part coming.

word count: 4,020

read part one here

written by jenna

It’s been six weeks since your accident. You’ve been checked out of the hospital, and for now, we’re staying in a small, two room flat. The rent is cheap, and it’s the closest place near the foster home - I’ve decided to keep Thomas at the home until we figure everything out. We visit him every day, but you’re still not remembering him. You’ll often refer to him as my brother, but I don’t correct you; I know you’re trying. I know you’ll remember us soon, and we can fly back to London, Thomas in our arms. I can’t wait. Another second without you will feel like an eternity. I love you, Louis.

“Louis, I’m back!” Harry called, walking through the front door of the flat.

Silence.

“Louis?” Harry called again.

Still silence.

Harry walked further into the flat, and heard slight sobs coming from Louis’ bedroom.

“Louis?” Harry called again, pushing the door open.

Louis avoided eye contact, trying to hide his swollen, tear stained cheeks.

“Louis, what’s the matter?” Harry asked, walking towards him.

“Nothing, nothing, I’m fine.” He replied.

“Well that’s obviously a lie.” Harry said. “Lou, tell me what’s wrong.”

“I’m fine.” Louis mumbled.

Harry walked over and grabbed his hand.

“Louis, you might’ve forgotten I can read you like a book. I’m your best friend. I know why you’re upset. Stop worrying, ok?” Harry said.

Louis voice was a little shaky.

“Ok, but what if I never get better?” He said in a hushed tone. “Best friends always have these great memories to reminisce on. I don’t remember any of those. I’m afraid that I never will, Harry.”

“Louis, I promise you will.” Harry grabbed Louis’ hand and squeezed it gently. “So maybe you don’t remember anything about our past. You don’t remember our – friendship. But I promise you. Promise you that you’ll remember eventually, ok?”

Louis looked down at their intertwined hands.

“Eventually has a lot of potential, Harry. Eventually could mean tomorrow, but it could also mean ten years.”

“Louis, look at me.” Harry said.

Their eyes met.

“Louis, everything I have to live for counts on you getting better. We can’t have a negative outlook on this. We have to believe you’ll be ok. I’m trying my best to convince myself, and in my heart I know you’ll recover. Please believe me, Louis. Please.”

Their eyes were still locked as Harry spoke. Still focused as Harry leaned in. Closer, closer. Their lips were centimeters apart when their eyes finally closed. Their lips finally connected, sharing a sweet, blissful kiss.

They we’re just about to sink further into the kiss when Harry realized what he was doing.

Louis’ lips were addictive. One kiss left Harry craving more. But he couldn’t continue. He pulled away, silently cursing at himself. Continuing the kiss would give Louis the wrong idea.

So he wiped his lips, and stood up.

“I’m sorry, Louis.” He said, staring at the ground. “I shouldn’t have done that. I um, I have to go.”

He walked out of the room before Louis could speak, and continued out of the flat before he could change his mind.

I need you to remember me. I can’t go on like this; I can’t even hold your hand without trying to take it further. I’m not trying to start a relationship between us yet, because you don’t even remember that we had on in the first place. But it’s difficult. It’s in my second nature to kiss you when you’re sad; comfort you when you’re hurt. But I can’t. I imagine this whole experience has been tough on you. Believe me, I understand. This has been the most difficult experience of my life – and I’m sure there’s still more to come. I love you.

Harry had been out the whole night, avoiding an awkward confrontation with Louis. This whole situation was so difficult. If Louis knew the truth, he’d understand why Harry had been denying their relationship. But Harry didn’t want to tell Louis the truth. He was afraid he’d feel obligated to make the relationship just how it used to be. Acting like someone he’s not would be so much pressure on Louis; Harry knew he couldn’t put him through that.

It was around midnight when Harry arrived back home. He walked into the flat, and was greeted by silence. Thankful Louis was asleep, Harry went to bed and hoped everything would make sense in the morning.

Harry woke up and looked at the clock. 8:42 a.m. He yawned and rolled back over, embracing the rays of sun that landed on his face. He stretched, and then got up.

He walked into the kitchen, and was surprised to see Louis already awake and eating. Louis was usually the later riser out of the two of them. That was the old Louis though; everything was different now.

Harry poured a glass of juice and sat down.

They sat there for a while, not talking. Louis was too interested in the paper he was reading.

“So, what do you have planned for today?” Harry asked, trying to avoid any awkwardness.

Louis looked up from the paper.

“Well, I haven’t really made any plans for today. But we’ve been pretty busy lately. Maybe we could stay home for the evening.” he said with a smile.

“I agree.” Harry said, smiling back. “Lazy day it is.”

Louis smiled, and returned to his paper. The two boys finished their breakfast in a more friendly silence.

Last time Harry and Louis had watched a movie together was before the accident. Harry had picked out the last movie, and they had made a deal to switch who could pick the movie each time. Technically, it was Louis’ turn to pick, so Harry insisted he did. It was a stupid idea since Louis didn’t remember the deal, but it made Harry feel better.

Louis had picked out a “hidden” movie. He explained it as the less popular movies that people don’t tend to watch. They aren’t played in the theater, and no one really talks about them. He always said you had to give those movies a chance; they were always underestimated, and when you found a good one, it was like your own little secret.

The way Louis talked about those movies made Harry smile. It was exactly something the old Louis would say, and it gave Harry hope of Louis recovering and remembering.

Harry pressed play and sat down on the couch, furthest away from Louis as he could.

They were watching the movie for a little while, and Harry kept glancing over at Louis to see his reaction. The movie was definitely not a good choice; it had zero plot lines and was extremely boring. He kept watching though, not wanting to disappoint Louis.

Both boys sighed lightly and reached their hand into the popcorn bowl.

“I think my hidden movie theory disappointed me this time.” Louis said.

Harry sighed in relief, happy to know he wasn’t the only one who thought so.

“I’d agree.” Harry laughed. “This is a horrible movie choice.”

“Hey, don’t doubt my movie choosing skills.” Louis said, throwing a piece of popcorn at Harry.

“I’ll do what I want.” Harry said, reaching into the bowl and throwing a handful at the older boy.

Soon, there was popcorn scattered throughout the whole room, stuck to their clothes, and tangled I their hair. Both boys were in hysterics as the movie continued to play in the background.

Their laughter died down and their eyes met. Harry was the first to advert his eyes, but he looked out of the corner of his eye and noticed Louis was still staring. Harry wasn’t sure if it was a friendly admiring look, or a look of lust. Harry was sure he was going to soon find out.

Louis moved closer. Although Harry was avoiding eye contact with him, his heart was racing. Louis inched closer until he was hovering above him.

“You know, Harry,” He whispered, “I’m not sure if that kiss yesterday was a mistake.”

Harry swallowed the lump that’d formed in his throat, and gazed up at Louis.

Definite lust. He thought.

Louis’ face was hovering centimeters above Harry’s.

“Just let me know if you want me to stop.” He said, moving in closer.

Harry tried to speak. He tried to use every ounce of power be had to move away, but the feelings in his heart were stronger than those in his brain. When Louis’ lips connected with his, he knew he shouldn’t continue. But regardless of his disapproving thoughts, he kissed him back. He’d missed the feeling of Louis’ lips on his own.

Despite the thoughts of doubt collecting in the back of his brain, Harry was unbelievably happy. He was finally kissing Louis again. Louis was finally kissing him again. Their lips continued to brush against one another’s, and they became comfortable with each other’s touch.

The kiss became more passionate. The movie had turned off by now, so the only sounds filling the room were gasps for air. Louis parted their bodies for a moment, taking time to stand up from the couch and lead Harry towards his bedroom.

Although the bedroom was just down the hallway, they couldn’t make it there before their lips were reconnected. Harry’s large hands were tousling through Louis’ hair, and Louis’ hands were resting on Harry’s hips as they stumbled into the room.

Louis’ lips moved down towards Harry’s neck, sucking on his delicate skin, instantly leaving marks. They began stripping off each other’s clothes, leaving a trail of garments in their path. When they finally made it to the bedroom, and collapsed onto the bed. Louis remained on top of Harry, and their gasps for breath became shaky; they were both nervous.

Both boys stripped off the rest of their clothes until they were only in their boxers. Louis continued the kiss, and grinded his hips down towards Harry’s. He could feel the younger boy’s erection grow beneath him, which only made him more aroused.

Louis trailed sloppy kisses down Harry’s torso. He continued kissing down the boy’s body, until he reached the elastic band of his boxers. He bit the thin material, and pulled it down to his ankles. Harry’s erection sprang up, and rested against his abs. Louis swallowed the lump that had formed into his throat, and brought his face back up to level with Harry’s.

“Well, this is going to be fun.” He whispered.

Harry squirmed under Louis, unable to contain his anxiety.

Louis smiled and leaned over to grab some lube from the drawer.

Louis grabbed Harry’s knees and propped them up with his elbows. He put some lube onto himself, and on his fingers.

“Ready?” he asked.

Harry nodded. Louis turned his attention back to Harry and slipped one finger in. Harry winced, but urged Louis to continue. When Louis added a second finger, Harry moaned.

Louis moved his fingers within him, waiting for him to adjust. When he finally did adjust, he couldn’t get enough.

“Louis, more, please.” Harry begged.

Louis pulled his fingers out and positioned himself in front of Harry’s entrance. He pushed in slowly, increasing Harry’s need.

“Hurry!” Harry cried out.

He gasped when Louis filled him up, forgetting how incredible it felt. Louis stopped moving, waiting for Harry to adjust again. When he did, Louis started thrusting. Slow and delicate at first, but then faster and harder with time.

Before their accident, Harry had usually been the dominant one. Letting Louis take control was all new to Harry. Being able to look up and see Louis taking the lead and being demanding was such a turn on. Louis thought the same; although he didn’t remember the old relationship, looking down and seeing Harry falling apart with pleasure beneath him was a great feeling.

Louis’ thrusts became more demanding and intense. His movements were quick, leaving Harry speechless beneath him.

“Louis… I’m…” Harry said.

Louis didn’t speak, but instead, compressed his lips onto Harry’s. Their tongues intertwined as their bodies pressed closer together.

Harry detached their mouths, and whispered Louis’ name.

“Okay, Harry,” Louis breathed, “Go ahead.”

Harry didn’t need to hear anything more. He released, cumming all over his stomach. Louis thrust into him a few more times before releasing as well. Louis gently fell onto Harry, trying to catch his breath.

After a moment, Louis pulled out. Harry winced a bit, but was too exhausted to move. Louis got up to get a wet cloth, then came back and cleaned Harry up. He crawled back under the covers, and kissed Harry’s forehead.

Louis sighed, feeling unbelievably happy. He rolled over, and they both drifted asleep.

Louis woke up, and checked the clock. 10:29 a.m. Without rolling over, he could tell someone was sleeping next to him; he could feel the weight in the bed. All of the thoughts of last night came rushing back. The movie, the kiss, the walk to the bedroom, the sex, right down to every last detail.

Louis smiled to himself, and turned over to face Harry. He tucked his head into the crook of Harry’s neck and breathed in, smelling the sweet cologne lingering on Harry’s body.

Harry stretched and opened his eyes.

“Last night was perfect, Harry. I just- I didn’t know I could feel that way with someone.” Louis said.

Harry scooted over so his body was no longer touching Louis’.

“Hey, come back.” Louis laughed, inching closer.

Harry climbed off the bed, and retrieved his shirt from a pile on the floor.

“What are you doing?” Louis asked more seriously.

“Louis, I’m sorry. I can’t do this. Last night was a mistake; I crossed boundaries I shouldn’t have. I need to go.” Harry said pulling his shirt on.

“What? I, I don’t understand,” Louis said quietly. “I thought-“

“I know what you thought, Louis, but it was a mistake.”

Louis stared at Harry with hurt in his eyes.

“I’m sorry Lou.” Harry said standing in the doorway. “You’re a good friend.”

He walked out of the room, leaving Louis confused and alone.

I want to break down. I want to cry. I want you to hold me, to love me, and to tell me everything will be fine. But you can’t. You’re Louis, but you’re not Louis. I got confused, and I took it too far. We can’t have a relationship yet; not like this. I can tell that I’m breaking your heart by rejecting you, and believe me, it’s breaking mine. But we have a son Louis. A son that you don’t even know is yours. I can’t bring him into our life when we haven’t figured anything out yet. I need the old Louis back before we can start a relationship again. Until I get the chance to properly explain everything to you, we have to stay just friends. I don’t want to make things more complicated than they already are. Please remember me soon, Louis, this is breaking my heart. I love you.

Harry felt the tears build up in his eyes. He tried to wipe them away, but he wasn’t quick enough. Before he could, a single tear escaped and landed on the page, smearing the freshly written ink.

Harry sighed, and closed the journal, wondering if their lives would ever be simple again. As much as he wanted to have a positive outlook on everything, it was difficult. He couldn’t help but think about their future – about Thomas. Nothing was supposed to work out this way; this was supposed to be the best vacation of their lives.

“I suppose nothing turns out the way you plan.” Harry whispered to himself.

Louis- I know you don’t remember this; even if you had your full memory back, there’s one thing you still wouldn’t know about me. I never told you. I never told anyone. But here it is; I’m horrible at explaining my feelings. It may not seem like a huge deal to you, but not being able to explain how I feel is really difficult. So, I tend to write things down. Whether it’s a journal entry or a song, it only makes sense if it’s written. To get to the point of this letter, I need to say I’m sorry. There are some things I’ve had to deal with, and at the moment, none of those are your concern. But there are some things I need to explain to you. Although it’d be easier to explain all of those things in a letter, I think it’s something you need to hear directly from me. But they’re things you definitely need to know. Please Louis, I know this may be awkward after everything that has happened, but I need to see you as soon as possible. Please meet me at 8:00 tonight. I’ll be waiting outside of our flat.

Out of habit, Harry wrote I love you, Louis at the bottom of the letter. He then crossed it out, and just signed his name. He stuck it under Louis’ bedroom door, waiting for 8:00 to come around.

The sun was nearly set; only a couple of golden rays were peeking above the trees, leaving the sky marked with a pink glow.

Harry sat outside of the flat, hoping Louis would walk out of the door soon.

Fifteen minutes passed, and Harry was becoming anxious. He lay down on the grass, and gazed up at the now-dark sky.

He must’ve been in a complete daydream, because he didn’t notice the door open and close until Louis was standing in front of him. Harry started to sit up, but Louis stopped him.

“Wait,” he said, “just stay there.”

Louis layed down on the grass next to Harry.

“Louis,” Harry began, “I need to explain a lot of things and-“

“Me first.” Louis cut him off.

Harry stopped talking to listen.

“Harry, this is all my fault. Don’t explain anything. I pushed things too far too fast, and I apologize for that. Like you said, It was a mistake.” He said. “Extremely fun, but nonetheless, a mistake.”

“But Louis, I need to explain-” Harry tried again.

Louis interrupted him a second time.

“Harry, can we please just put that whole thing behind us? He asked. “No more explaining, no more anything. We just need to forget about what we did, and we have to move on. I already apologized, and acknowledged what I did wrong. Please just forgive me. I need you to be my friend. I can’t go through this alone.”

“So, everything that’s happened the past couple of days is in the past?” Harry asked.

“Harry, you’ve been there since I woke up from my accident.” Louis said. “I don’t remember anything, but you haven’t given up on me. There’s nothing more important to our friendship.”

Harry shivered at the word friendship. Harry and Louis were definitely friends, but it was becoming more realistic that they may never me more than that again.

“Thank you for forgiving me, Lou.” Harry said, looking at the sky.

Louis turned his neck to look over at Harry.

“You’re welcome.” He said softly.

They both smiled at each other for a moment. Louis was the first to break the silence.

“I never realized how many tattoos you’ve got.” Louis said.

Harry smiled slightly.

“Yeah, I guess I’ve got quite the collection going.” Harry said, lifting his shirt up to admire the designs.

A spark surged through Harry’s body when Louis reached over and brushed his inked skin.

“I really like this one.” Louis said, pointing to the bird cage on his side. “What’s it mean?”

Harry’s throat became dry.

“It uh, it doesn’t really mean anything, just looks cool I suppose.” He replied.

“Aw, come on Harry, you’re lying.” Louis said gently. “Every tattoo has to mean something.”

“It’s just and empty cage.” Harry mumbled. “I don’t know.”

“No, I understand that.” Louis said. “But what does it mean? What’s the reason?”

Harry hated being tested. When he gave short, one word answers, it was a clue to leave him alone.

“C’mon, Harry.” Louis said. “There has to be at least one reason you got the cage.”

Harry’s voice became cold.

“Louis, listen. It’s just a bunch of damn wires strung together with nothing inside of it. You see, it’s so fucking ironic. A cage is made to protect. It’s given a bird; a small, fragile bird. The only job it has is to protect it. If the cage can’t protect that bird, then it’s useless. It’s simply a bunch of metal strung together; an abandoned home filled with memories of where everything went wrong.”

Louis eyebrows knitted together in confusion.

“Sorry Lou,” Harry said quietly. “I didn’t mean that. It’s um, it’s just a cage.”

Harry avoided eye contact as he pulled his shirt down and walked inside.

Louis wasn’t going to let him get away that easily. He stood up and followed Harry.

Harry quickly walked inside and upstairs. He was heading for the bathroom, so he could lock the door and not be bothered.

He heard Louis’ footsteps following close behind him. He started to run, but Louis was too quick. He pushed Harry away from the door, and against the wall. Each of his hands were on both sides of Harry’s body, not giving him any room to escape.

“Louis, move!” Harry yelled.

“No, tell me the truth.” Louis replied.

“Let me go! I need to go.” He said, trying to escape Louis’ trap.

“No you don’t, Harry.” Louis clenched his jaw.

“Move!” Harry yelled, trying to push Louis away.

“Listen!” Louis screamed pushing Harry roughly against the wall.

Harry stopped fighting.

“Harry, stop lying to me, dammit. You’re always playing these fucking mind games, and I’m sick of it. One night, we sleep with each other, and by the morning, you say it was a mistake. You say we’re just friends.”

“Louis,” Harry began, “It’s not like that.”

“Let me talk.” Louis spat. “One day we’re fine, the next we’re not. One second you’re yelling about your tattoo and the next it’s just a cage. What the hell is that, Harry? Everything has to be a mind game. You never seem to be honest, and I can’t be around someone like that. There are always two sides to your stories, Harry, and honestly, I don’t know what to think anymore.”

Harry stared at the ground and stayed silent.

“Oh, so now you’re silent, huh? No fucking two sided stories to lie to me about now?” He yelled.

“You wouldn’t understand!” Harry screamed, pushing Louis out of his way.

Louis grabbed his arm tight. “And why is that? Is it because I’m the idiot with the brain injury? You think I’m not capable of understanding anything?”

“Louis.” Harry’s voice shook. “You know that’s not true. I’d never hold that against you.”

“Then tell me why, dammit! Fucking tell me!” Louis roared. “If you can’t tell me the truth in five seconds, I’m leaving. I deserve to know the truth, Harry! You fucking know I deserve at least that.”

The seconds passed by, and Harry remained silent.

“Tell me.” Louis said weakly. His eyes were brimming with tears.

Harry stared at the floor. “It’s not something you just tell someone, Louis.”

Louis stared shaking again. “Of course it isn’t! Because it’s all lies! I should’ve known you didn’t want me. I should’ve damn well known.”

Louis walked into the bedroom and threw his belongings into the suitcase.

“Louis, don’t leave.” Harry cried. “Please.”

“You had your chance to stop me, Harry, don’t act like you didn’t.”

Louis zipped up the bag and walked past Harry standing in the doorway. He walked out of the flat without looking back.

Harry winced when the screen door slammed shut.

He bit the inside of his cheek, trying to fight back the tears. He stared out of the window as he watched his whole world, his best friend, his son’s father, walk down the street and out of his life.

#larry #larry stylinson #smut #larry one shot #larry fanfic #larry imagine

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sexuallyfrustratedirectioner · 11 years

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where be letters part 2??

i'm just about to post it :)

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sexuallyfrustratedirectioner · 11 years

Text

Early Morning

A/N: and here's some harry smut

word count: 1,238

Written by Jenna

(Your POV)

Harry decided to stay home for the night and take a break from the insane celebrity life. We were simply enjoying each other’s company while cuddling on the couch. It was an early autumn evening. The sun was sinking lower in the sky, just beginning to reach the height of the window. Golden rays peeked through the opening in the curtains, leaving the room in a picturesque glow. The soft beams of light and landed on my face, and as the sun lowered, the light was directly in my eyes. I closed my eyes to avoid the sun, and leaned back onto Harry’s chest. He gently brushed the hair out of my eyes, and kissed my forehead. I smiled, happy to be in his arms.

The time passed by quickly; before I knew it, the sun was completely set. We were still in the same position on the couch, still enjoying each other’s company. We were talking about nonsense, laughing often. Our eyelids grew heavier as the conversation drew on.

“Come on, (Y/N), I’m not lying!” Harry said, laughing.

“Well I can’t believe anything you say, I’ve never seen you play it before!” I said.

We were playfully arguing about Harry’s guitar playing skills. He swore that he could play it well and that he practiced a lot. I’m not trying to say I didn’t believe him; but all I’d ever see his guitar do was collect dust in the corner. Plus, I just liked seeing him get defensive when we didn’t agree. He’s cute when he’s angry.

“No I swear I can play it! You’ve seen me play it!” he said.

“Have not! I have never seen you play your guitar. I think you’re all talk.” I said, smiling.

“All talk, hmm?” He said.

He leaned over and grabbed his guitar from the floor. I sat up and started to climb off the couch.

“Hey, where are you going?” he asked.

I turned to look at him.

“If you’re going to play the guitar, I think I’d be in the way if I’m sitting in your lap.” I laughed.

“No, no. You’ll be fine, come on.” He said.

I snuggled back onto him as he wrapped his arms around me and held the guitar. He began to play it while singing softly in my ear.

Time flew by. Hours later, he was still singing to me, but the songs soon turned into mindless lyrics about who-knows-what. He was making up poems and rhymes, and we sat there giggling into the late hours of the night. I was laughing because of the jokes, and in hysterics because of the tiredness resting on my eyelids; everything’s funnier when you’re tired.

I was trying my best to stay awake, but my head kept sinking further into his chest. I felt my eyes slowly close, and I drifted off to sleep with a smile still resting on my face.

(Harry’s POV)

I looked down at her gently sleeping on my shoulder. I smiled to myself.

“You’re so beautiful.” I whispered.

I put the guitar on the floor, careful not to wake her. I laid back down, and wrapped my arms around her torso. I kissed her forehead, and drifted off to sleep.

(Your POV)

I woke up and checked the time on my phone. 3 a.m. I rubbed my eyes awake, and heard Harry breathing softly. I gently climbed off of the couch.

“Harry,” I called. “Harry, wake up.”

His eyes opened slightly.

“What’s the matter, (Y/N)?”

“Harry, it’s late. We should probably go to bed.”

We both stood up and walked up stairs. We climbed into bed, and his arms wrapped around me again. I closed my eyes and tried to fall asleep, but I didn’t feel tired anymore. I rolled over to face him.

“Not tired?” he asked.

I nodded.

“Me neither.” He said.

I snuggled my head closer into his neck, trying to go to sleep again. He sat up slightly and kissed my jaw, resting his hands on my hips. His hands slid under my shirt and traced up my torso.

“Well, if we’re not going to sleep for a while, we have some time to waste…” he mumbled.

His hot breath traced my neck as he kissed my jaw. He moved his face up, and pressed his lips to mine. He pulled my shirt off of my body and tossed it to the floor. His hands trailed down my side again, forming goose bumps on my skin.

Once his clothes were pulled off of his own body, he reconnected our lips. The pounding between my legs became more intense as the kiss did. I quickly pulled the rest of my clothes off, and then ran my fingers through his hair. He gently cupped his hands around my breasts and continued to kiss me.

I felt his erection hardening against my leg, and the nervousness grew inside me; the good kind of nervous, though. I took in a shaky breath as his hands moved lower and lower. I could feel him smirk against my lips as his thumb traced my clit. I moaned slightly, squirming under his touch.

He planted another row of kisses upon my collarbone, and brought his hand back further.

He lingered his lips close to my ear and whispered, “I love seeing you like this. Breathless. Shaky. Dazed.” he smirked. “It makes me crave your touch. I did this to you. I know how to drive you insane.”

My breath hitched in my throat as my face became hot.

“I think you should do something about it.” I breathed.

His emerald eyes filled with passion, almost dark.

“You know I will.” He said, kissing me again.

He interlaced one hand with mine, and used the other to align himself. He moved himself inside me, and quickened the pace. He continued to kiss my neck, and moans escaped my mouth. He quickened the pace and interlaced both of his hands with mine. I tried so hard not to fall apart under him, but it was difficult. My eyes squeezed shut.

“(Y/N), please open your eyes.” he breathed.

I forced them open, and my gaze locked with his. Our lips reconnected as he thrusted harder. He picked up my legs and wrapped them around his torso. I tried to breathe in steadily, but it was difficult. The nervousness in my stomach had turn into crazed passion. I was beginning to become weak.

“Harry, I, I can’t-” I mumbled.

“I know, I, just wait, (Y/N)-” he whispered.

He continued his pace, and I tried to steady my breaths. His lips smashed against mine again, intensifying everything.

“Harry I can’t wait any longer.” I said.

He thrusted once, and I bit my lip.

Twice, and I buried my hand in his hair.

Three times, and I tried my hardest not to scream.

On the fourth, that was it. I released, and he spilled inside me seconds after.

I rushed to catch my breath as he pulled out and collapsed beside me. Our bodies were shaking as he wrapped his arm around my torso. He was softly kissing the back of my neck and my stomach filled with butterflies. I loved him so much. I turned around to face him and snuggled my face into the crook of his neck. I sighed, finally feeling tired. I fell asleep quickly, a faint smile resting on my face.

#harry #smut #fanfic #imagine #one shot

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