solllaris - Tumblr blog

solllaris · 3 months

Text

under the night | seven

pairing: joel miller x f!reader, set in jackson after tlou part I warnings/tags: [18+ minors DNI] description of injuries, violence, blood, discussions of death, nightmares, angst, non-explicit discussion of the death of a child, fluff. word count: 6.1k part six | series masterlist | main masterlist

Little bird…

Your hands around a throat, fingernails coated in dirt and dark blood.

Pressing down harder, harder, harder.

A man with a shaved head, bloodshot eyes bulging, thin lips pulled back to reveal crooked teeth as he gasped, desperately searching for air.

And then your own voice, a vicious snarl.

Are you afraid?

You woke with a start.

Remnants of the dream danced through your mind as you instinctively jerked your hand forward, attempting to wrench it away from the wall it was chained to. A harsh gasp tore from your mouth at the movement, scraping up through a painfully tight throat and escaping from chapped lips.

I’m okay, I’m okay, I’m oka-

Memories of the cold air, of the dirt and snow under your feet, rushed back to you, bringing hot tears to your eyes. You remembered Joel; his arms tightening around you while you beat against his chest, shoving him away. Joel. The muscles in your throat tightened with unshed emotion as you tried to sit up, but you cringed as your surroundings swam in your vision, and you collapsed back into the firm bed.

The room was too bright. Everything was a shade of off-white, and the yellow bulb on the ceiling flickered, irritating your eyes that had grown so accustomed to the darkness.

The pain was immense, radiating through your torso and legs, and an itchy blanket covered your body, tucked tightly underneath your armpits. You drew in air slowly, deeply, trying to regulate your breathing as you pushed the blanket down, and tried to push your legs off the side of the bed. A sharp stabbing pain rushed through your arm and you winced, noticing a canula injected into your forearm. Your eyes followed the attached tubing all the way up to the IV bag that hung beside the bed, filled with a clear fluid. Based on how dry your throat was, and the headache raging in your temples, they were trying to rehydrate you.

You were still contemplating a way to escape the scratchy bed when something else caught your eye.

She was asleep in a chair, her head tilted down awkwardly so her chin rested against her chest, little snores floating from her mouth. The heavy breaths escaping your lungs began to slow as you watched her, shoulders relaxing as the world around you solidified.

You were in the medical centre, you weren’t alone, and you certainly weren’t with him anymore.

Ellie looked so young while she slept; so innocent. Forehead smooth, lips parted slightly to make way for deep, heavy breaths. Momentarily, you allowed your eyes to drift away from her, inspecting the rest of the room. A side table with a mug of water on it, a tray at the end of the bed, a closed door on the wall behind the kid. Everything smelt like soap. So much fucking soap that you cringed to think what smells it was there to cover up.

With more care this time, you pushed the scratchy blanket further down your body. You still wore the same shirt, stained with dirt and blood. But a soft pair of shorts replaced the pants you’d worn for days, and the clean fabric brought a swell of relief. Most of your skin was on show, and it wasn’t a pretty sight. When you pulled up the hem of your shirt, a dark purple bruise staining the side of your ribcage was revealed. Your finger prodded it gently and you winced as a searing pain shot through the tender skin.

Next, your eyes caught sight of the thick bandage wrapped around the middle of one of your thighs.

Your eyebrows pinched together in a slight confusion, and you fingered the frayed edge of the bandage absentmindedly, trying to remember what had happened there. And in your moment of deep concentration, you didn’t notice the teenager waking up.

“He stabbed you,” Ellie’s voice tired came, and your head whipped to the side to see her awake, watching you closely.

“When?” you croaked, grimacing at how hoarse your voice was.

“At the end,” she said softly. “Tommy saw it happen when he got there… when you were on top of him.”

Lincoln’s face flashed in your memory; the gums of his smile lined with blood.

Are you afraid?

You blinked it away, shaking your head slowly as you attempted to piece together a succinct memory of what she was describing.

“I don’t…” Thick tears settled on your waterline once more, blurring the sight of Ellie in front of you. “How did he even find me?”

Ellie gripped her chair and pulled it closer to the bed, round blue eyes gazing intently at you. “He and Joel saw the smoke coming from Lincoln’s house. Tommy was the one that pulled you out.” Your heart skipped a beat at the mention of Joel’s name, but you blinked, looking down at the gauze again.

“Is he dead?” your whispered roughly.

“He will be.”

My little bird… I know you wouldn’t kill me.

Panic flared through you. “No, no, no,” you breathed frantically, chest aching as harsh breaths ripped in and out of your lungs. “He has to be dead, Ellie. He has to, he’s gonna find me, we have t-“

She was saying your name, over and over, standing up beside the bed. Her hands hovered in the air over your arms, hesitant to touch you but searching for a way to calm you down.

“Hey,” she said. “Hey, hey, it’s okay. They have him, he’s not gonna fucking touch you, okay? They’ve got him.”

“Joel and Tommy?”

“And Cal too,” she nodded. Ellie cleared her throat, staring at you warily. “He was… he was almost dead when they found you guys. They took him out past the gates, wouldn’t tell me where they were going though.”

You nodded slowly, a dull ache forming in your chest at the thought of the two men you cared about the most being outside those gates, with him.

Ellie’s lower lip wobbled, just for a split second, but you caught it. And it made you falter, because suddenly all you could think about was what this must have been like for her. You didn’t know much, but you knew that this kid had been through a hell of a lot. And you didn’t take lightly how hard it must’ve been for her; having the last time you saw her being when you almost strangled her, and then you’d just been… gone.

“Thank you,” you murmured earnestly. “For being here.”

Slowly, you turned your arm so that your hand was resting on the bed, palm facing up. A bandage was tied around that forearm – covering a burn, you surmised. Ellie looked at your hand and dropped hers onto it quickly, squeezing once.

“Cal said you probably wouldn’t want any of them in the room,” she admitted. “Said it would be better if it was me or Maria.”

“That’s true,” you began slowly. “But I’m also just glad that you’re here. I… I’m glad I get to see you, and tell you again how sor-“

“Stop,” she squeezed your hand again. “I don’t want to hear it. It doesn’t matter.”

“Ellie,” you warned lowly.

“No,” she shook her head. “I fucking mean it. Forget about it.”

And then there were two memories in your mind, side by side, making your stomach churn. One of Lincoln’s face, skin turning red as your hands gripped his neck. And another of Ellie, staring up at you in horror in Joel’s bed.

“I’m sorry,” the words tumbled from your mouth, a feeble repeated apology being all you could muster.

You nodded, eyes drifting to the wall beside her head so you didn’t have to look at her anymore. “I’m sorry,” the words tumbled from your mouth, a feeble repeated apology being all you could muster.

“You should sleep some more,” is all she said in response, gently raising the blanket back up to cover you. “I’ll wake you up when they get back.”

You woke up alone, to the sound of raised voices outside the room.

“Open the door.”

“Just wait a minute, Joel.”

“I’m done waitin’. I mean it, Maria. You open that godda-“

“Joel,” her voice was stern. “You better back off. I’m not letting you in there.”

“And why the hell not?”

And then Cal’s voice interjecting. “She needs rest.”

Slowly, you pushed yourself out of the bed, almost stumbling as your full body weight rested on your feet for the first time. Shock pulsed through you as you remembered your toe. Looking down, you cringed to see a sock covering that foot, clearly thickly padded with a bandage underneath. Standing on it hurt, and you cringed as you grabbed for the IV pole, careful not to tangle the tubing as you slowly padded toward the door.

The world around you tilted for a moment, and you caught yourself on the wall, breathing slowly as you waited for the dizzy spell to pass.

“You have to let me see her.”

“Joel-“

“Let me the fuck in that room.”

There was silence for a moment, and you strained your ears, trying to sense any kind of movement, anything you might be missing. And then his voice came again. Softer this time.

“Please.” You could hear the desperation in his voice. The fear. “Please, just let me see her.”

Gripping the door handle, you dragged the door open, eyes widening when you saw the scene laid out before you.

Tommy had his back to the doorway, Maria a step in front of him, holding her hands up in the air towards Joel, who towered over her in a show of intimidation. He looked like he’d hardly slept in days, with oily hair stuck to his forehead and facial hair grown out longer than you’d seen it in a long time. A thin shirt clung to his frame, and a dark red stain coloured the left sleeve.

Cal sat in a chair against the wall, head resting in his hands. Dark brown blood stained his fingers.

As soon as the door opened, their eyes were on you, and you looked between the group of them slowly. Cal stood up quickly, wide eyes darting over your figure, gaging your reaction to their presence.

And then…. those big brown eyes you’d come to love, so wide and devastated as they took in every detail of your face, raking over you like he was seeing you for the first time in years.

“Baby,” Joel exhaled, and you could see the way his shoulders slumped, as if the weight of the world had been taken off them.

“Joel,” Maria spoke in a low, warning tone.

“It’s okay,” you said, nodding once when she looked to you for reassurance.

Maria stepped to the side just in time for Joel to barrel towards you. The only thing that stopped him from taking you into his arms immediately was when he noticed the IV drip beside you. He hesitated, glancing between you and the canula in your arm for a moment, a tear spilling from his eye. You felt your eyes dampen in response, and you raised a hand to rest it on his face, thumb gently rubbing the skin below his eye. He sighed, nudging his cheek further into your palm.

He said your name oh so quietly, and your chest tightened painfully. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “Baby, I’m so-“

“Don’t,” you stopped him, shaking your head. A tear streaked down your cheek, and you wiped it away hastily. “Please don’t apologise.”

A sharp squeaking noise radiated through the room and your eyes flickered over Joel’s shoulder to where Cal had stepped towards the pair of you, eyebrows drawn tight across his forehead.

You were vaguely aware of Tommy and Maria leaving the room, quietly as possible, as you stared across the space at Cal.

“I’m okay,” you mouthed silently, and Joel’s head turned to see Cal standing there.

He cleared his throat awkwardly, and you could sense the battle raging inside of him, trying to convince himself to step back so that Cal could get closer, but being unable to tear himself away from you.

Suddenly though, your hand dropped from his face as you swayed a little on your feet, head swimming from standing for so long. The pair of them pushed forward, both gripping one of your elbows to steady you.

“Let’s get you back in bed,” Joel rushed out quietly, and the pair of them ushered you gently back into the room, toward the bed. You chuckled softly, but it quickly turned to a groan as pain seared through your chest. Cal noticed, eyes narrowing as he attempted to silently pinpoint where you were hurting the most.

“It’s okay,” you croaked out, sitting down gingerly on the edge of the bed. Your throat still ached whenever you spoke, and you swallowed, desperate to rectify the hoarse roughness of your voice. They stood side by side, staring down at you, as if frozen.

You took in Cal’s wild-eyed expression; his sallow cheeks and clenched fists.

“I was supposed to be home,” your friend spoke finally, his voice hollow. Joel’s head snapped to the side to stare the younger man, mouth slightly ajar.

“Don’t do this,” you begged, and his mouth twisted into a pained smile.

“I wasn’t there,” he whispered, raising a hand to shove the hair off his face.

“Cal, he’d been planning it,” you revealed, looking down to your lap. You frowned deeply, unable to watch their faces as you spoke. “It wasn’t… he was always going to find a way around you, around both of you.”

“Fuck,” you heard Joel growl suddenly, and you flinched at the sound.

“Watch it,” Cal snapped, and your eyes darted up to see him staring Joel down through wet eyes. Joel’s face was soft, clearly having noticed your reaction to his raised voice, and he nodded, his eyes screaming apologies at you.

“I’m okay,” you mumbled, and Cal stared at you. Slowly, he took a step back towards the open door.

“I need,” Cal’s voice broke, and he looked away, rubbing a hand over his eyes roughly. “I need a minute, just a minute.”

“Cal,” you whispered, holding out a hand to him. He pressed forward and caught it in the air, leaning down to kiss it. “Please, I don’t wan-“

“I love you so much,” he said firmly. “I just can’t be here like this. I need to… I need to get this blood off me, okay? I’m coming back, I’m not leaving, I promise. Just give me a minute.”

He left quickly, quietly, the door shutting with a soft click behind him. You stared at it for a moment, before the bed shifted with a new weight, as Joel rested beside you.

The side of his thigh brushed against yours, and you felt a slow warmth build inside of you. God you had missed him, missed being so close to him. It felt like an eternity had passed since you’d had this feeling.

Your head turned to the side and you caught his eye. Slowly, so you would see it coming, his hand came up to rest on the side of your head. Thick fingers brushed through your hair, smoothing it over your ear. Nuzzling into his touch, a thick sigh of unbridled relief escaped you.

He hesitated before asking quietly, “How bad does it all hurt?”

Too tired to lie, you told him the truth. That your chest was on fire, that it hurt to breathe, that your head swam when you stood up, that every part of your being ached. He didn’t seem to have an answer for that, and you didn’t blame him. You could see how hard he was trying to control his temper. In the way his mouth tightened, the muscle in his jaw jumping as he stopped himself from speaking. The way his thigh was tensed against yours.

A few beats of silence passed between you, and then you both spoke at the same time.

“I’m sorry for everything I said.”

“Whose blood is that?”

You frowned, pulling away from his hand. “What?”

“I’m sorry for everything I said,” he repeated, looking down at his lap, where his hands now fiddled together awkwardly. “That last day we saw each other. It’s been playin’ on my mind on fuckin’ repeat, and I jus- I don’t want to lose you. I never wanted that, and I feel like I pushed you away for something you can’t control, and I’m sorry.”

“Oh, Joel,” the corner of your mouth twitched upward into a small, sad smile as you finally understood what he was talking about. “I understood. Ellie comes first, always. You have to make sure she’s okay.”

“No,” he grunted in frustration. “It’s not about first or second. I don’t want it like that. I just want… I need you both safe. And I fuckin’ failed you.” His voice cracked as he spoke, face falling as he finally began to cry.

“I’m here,” you whispered, taking his hands in yours. “I’m here.”

“I fuckin’ knew,” he choked out, tears dripping off his chin. “I knew you were out there, and you were fightin’. You’re so strong, darlin’, I just knew you wouldn’t let that bastard win.”

At the mention of Lincoln your smile faded, and your eyes drifted down to the crimson patch on Joel’s shirt.

“Is that his blood?” you asked quietly, and Joel’s shoulders tensed, back straightening. He cleared his throat, trying to ignore the tears that continued to fall.

“We took care of it,” he said, with a tone of finality.

“Tell me.”

“Darlin’…”

“Joel,” you said firmly. “Tell me.”

He stared at you for a moment, eyes dancing across your features, down your body to note the bandages, the cuts and bruises.

“Ellie said you and Tommy saw th-the smoke…” you swallowed.

“We saw the smoke,” he repeated, voice low.

“And we went to find out what was burning so late, and it was Lincoln’s place, and it was bad. So Tommy goes in, guns blazin’, and I- I fuckin’ wait outside.” Joel stopped, sucking in a deep breath. You placed a hand on his knee, encouraging him to continue.

“And then I could hear him shoutin’. He was yellin’ my name in a way I haven’t heard in years, not since…” A pause. “And then you were there, and you were screamin’, baby. And there was so much blood, I couldn’t tell what was yours and what was his, and I just held you.”

“And you were out quick, y’just passed out,” he said, teeth gnawing on his bottom lip. You could practically see his brain whirring, replaying the memory in his mind. “I think your body shut down once you were out. And then I turn around, and Tommy’s fuckin’ pulled him out too,” he laughed bitterly. “I told him to leave him, you know? I said let that fucker burn alive in there. But Tommy wouldn’t; he said we were gonna deal with him properly.”

Your heart stuttered in your chest at the words, jaw clenched tightly as your patience waned, mentally screaming at him to please, please just say he is dead.

“I carried you here, while Tommy got Cal. And once I knew… once I knew you were alive, and you were gonna stay alive, we took him. Out past the gates, ‘bout an hour out. He was hurt bad; bleedin’ and hardly breathin’… we struggled to get him too far. And once we were sure nobody would come across him on a patrol run, we chained him to the biggest goddamn tree we could find. And that monster was beggin’ us. Beggin’ for us to just end it, to put him out of his misery, but… Cal stopped me.”

The air seemed to rush out of the room, and fear rose in your chest. “No,” you exhaled. “No, Joe-“

Joel hushed you, brushing the hair back off your face and soothing you quietly. “It’s okay, it’s okay,” he murmured. “We knew he didn’t have long. That fucker wanted us to end it and we refused. Decided it would be too merciful. If he survives his injuries, he’ll be savaged by infected within hours. The idea of lettin’ him go out from a bullet… I realised I couldn’t stomach letting him die that quickly. I’m sorry, baby.”

You let the words sink in. there was no way he would get back to Jackson. No way he would ever get back into the commune. You were safe, he was gone, and you decided that was enough for you. No more killing.

Nodding slowly, you waited for Joel to continue.

“And that’s it,” he sighed heavily. “He won’t get out of the chains, I made sure of it. He’ll freeze to death, or bleed out, or he’ll get fuckin’ destroyed by those things out there. I don’t know which idea I prefer.” The look on his face was murderous, and for a moment you wondered how he could’ve stopped himself. You certainly hadn’t been able to.

Silence filled the room as you absorbed his words, a picture forming in your head of Lincoln, freezing and alone, out there beyond the gates.

Are you afraid?

For once, you didn’t push the words away when they flared in your mind. The words you spoke over the man, as his life hung in your hands. You sat with them, owned them.

“Good,” you said, and Joel stared warily, seemingly desperate for your approval. “He’ll be dead, and that’s all that matters.” You watched him nod, shoulders sagging in exhaustion as he twisted his hands together in his lap.

“Darlin’,” he said softly, gripping your hand. “What… what happened in ther-“

You squeezed your eyes shut, fingernails digging into his hand accidentally. “No,” you gasped out. “Please don’t… I-I can’t.”

“I’m sorry,” Joel rushed out, pulling you into his chest. His head rested atop yours, his lips pressing soft kisses against your hairline.

“Not yet,” you murmured into his chest. “I can’t.”

“You don’t have to say anything, it’s okay, I’m sorry I asked,” he replied, kissing your head again. “But I’m here, alright? I… I know this ain’t gon be easy. But I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere, y’hear me? I’m staying right here, and I’ve got you.”

Tears trailed down your cheeks, dampening his t-shirt, but Joel just held you closer, hand gripping the back of your head. And for a while the two of you just sat there together, on the edge of that bed in the medical centre, holding each other.

You were calmer when Cal finally returned, but for him it was as though a floodgate opened. Not for years had you seen him even shed a tear, and yet that dayhe sobbed, gripping you tightly, uncaring about the bruises that littered your body as he wrapped his arms around you.

“Thought I’d lost you,” he sobbed into your hair, in between repetitive mumbles of “thank god, thank god, thank god.”

You clung to him for dear life, brushing the hair out of his face and reassuring him that you would never leave him. Returning to the people you loved that day felt like coming home, and you vowed that never again would anyone separate you from your home.

The weeks that followed were painful, and slow.

It took many attempts, and many failures, for you to finally divulge everything that had occurred in Lincoln’s house to Joel and Cal. Through time and patience on everyone’s part, there reached a day where everything was known, and you found yourself able to finally rest.

As Winter came to a slow, shivering end, your body had slowly but surely mended itself, after endless days spent in bed, being doted on by those closest to you. In time, those days turned into leaving the house, to going out more and going on walks around the commune again, until finally, you found yourself working at the stables, and re-joining a community that you had come to miss so deeply.

At first, the people of Jackson walked on eggshells around you. They hesitated before they spoke, before they held out a hand. You had always been too quiet for their taste, too firm. And returning to normal life reminded you painfully of the first few months you had lived in Jackson. But it showed you that you had come to love them all – the community of people who had welcomed you and Cal, who had accepted you as a part of their group. Jackson was your home, and to walk the streets safely again felt like the greatest luck you would ever experience.

The hardest day was the memorial service. Held on the final day of Winter, a sombre energy permeated the air all morning leading up to it. A candlelit vigil in the centre of town, where a plaque listing the names of four women had been erected.

Milena.

Claire.

Rebecca.

Leigh.

That night, wrapped in scarves and jackets, shivering against the harsh cold, the community had stood together in a hush, listening to the words of their loved ones. Families and friends shared stories about the women who had been lost. You had stood anxiously at the back of the crowd, chewing your bottom lip into a bloody mess and gripping Joel’s hand to steady yourself.

“You’re okay,” he’d whispered in your ear, nose brushing your eyebrow as he pressed a kiss to your temple. “I’ve got you.”

Everything inside of you had screamed to not go, to stay away from the people who grieved for lives that had been taken so cruelly, and yet you realised as you’d stood there, that it wasn’t about grief. It was about strength. A group of hundreds of people, standing together, to feel love and warmth in the face of such horror. An invisible weight lifted off your shoulders that day.

And when Spring arrived, it breathed new life into Jackson.

Ice thawed, and trees that had once been nothing but bark and sticks began to bloom small white flowers, pollen drifting through the air. No longer did you wake up to a thick layer of condensation covering the windows of your house. Rather, you rose to find the sun shining through the glass, warming your skin generously with its rays. The season changed, and brought with it an air of renewal, of rebirth, of permission for the people of Jackson to finally breathe clearer again.

Children roamed the streets, smiling and playing, the sounds of their laughter drifting in and out of open windows and doors. Large crowds filled the Tipsy Bison and the dining hall, where boisterous groups of friends shouted and laughed together, smiling wider than they had in months.

And at night, you found that your dreams had shifted. What were once nightmarish memories of being trapped beneath someone, helpless, had been replaced by reminders of your own viciousness. In the new dreams, you were the one on top, you were the instigator, you were the one to be feared.

But then one day, for seemingly no reason at all, they stopped.

At first, you didn’t trust the shift. You always slept better beside Joel, and yet time passed and they didn’t return. Sleep came easier, calmer, to you.

“It’s because you beat that fucker,” Ellie claimed one morning at the breakfast table. “You fucking won, and your brain knows it.”

You coughed around your mouthful of food, eyebrows raising in surprise at her response to what had been a casual comment about two weeks passing with no nightmares.

Joel gave her a stern look of warning, eyebrows drawn in tight. You heard a thump as he kicked her shin below the table.

“What?” she said defensively, glaring at him. But a small smile had drifted onto your face as your stared at the teenager. Slowly, she grinned back at you.

“Yeah,” you said then, eyes flicking to Joel. He watched you with a soft, wary expression on his face. “I beat that fucker.”

“That you did,” he agreed quietly. “That you did.”

And one quiet morning, as you and Joel laid in bed while the sun rose outside his window, limbs tangled together, lips brushing tenderly, he told you he wanted to tell you something.

“What is it?” you asked, arching an eyebrow curiously.

One of your fingers trailed over the hair smattered across his chest, delighting in all of the exposed skin at your disposal. He shivered under your touch and you smirked, fingers drifting down past his belly button, toward the band of his underwear. But Joel caught your hand gently, pulling it up to his mouth to place a gentle kiss against your palm. Wordlessly, he left the bed and walked across the room, taking something from atop his chest of drawers. When he returned, you realised that it was a picture frame. One of the ones he’d distracted you from looking at that very first night you’d been in his bedroom.

“You know,” he said quietly. “After all of these years, I’d kind of… resigned myself to knowing that I would be alone. Everyone always died, or left, and at a certain point I just accepted that it was the way things were. But I found Ellie. And then I found Tommy again, and he gave us a life here, together. And then, on some stroke of dumb fuckin’ luck, I found you.”

His hands tightened around the frame in his lap, and you smiled softly.

“Joel Miller,” you murmured. “Don’t tell me you’ve gone all soft.”

“Never,” he refuted the claim immediately, making you grin. “But I’m old, an-“

“Relax granddad,” you interrupted, rolling your eyes teasingly.

He scoffed, poking a finger into your side and laughing as you squirmed.

“Will you let me fuckin’ get this out?” he laughed. “Christ, woman.”

“Okay, okay,” you relented, miming the action of pulling a zip across your mouth and throwing away the key.

“What I’m trying to say, is that I think you might know me the best out of anyone,” he admitted, and your smile faded somewhat as you picked up on his serious tone. “But I want you to know all of me. I want you to know every part.”

Slowly, but without hesitation, he held the frame out towards you, and you accepted it carefully, turning it around so you could see the picture slotted inside. Silence fell over the room as you examined the picture behind the glass, eyes devouring every detail. He looked so young in it. Standing in a vast green field wearing a t-shirt and a huge, cheesy grin, with not a single grey hair in sight. And beside him… was a girl. Maybe ten or eleven years old, with the exact same grin slapped across her dimpled face.

Your body stilled. Joel took one of your hands in his and held it silently, allowing you the time to truly take in what he was showing you. After a while, you managed to drag your eyes off the picture and look at him again.

“What’s her name?”

Joel smiled, eyes radiating with love, and told you, “Her name is Sarah.”

For hours that morning, he shared stories about her. Rolling through memory after memory, detailing her mannerisms and idiosyncrasies, the way she would drive him and Tommy crazy, how she showed love, how smart she was, how kind. As he spoke, you found that your eyes drifted constantly drifted back to the picture, raking over her features, her clothes, the soccer trophy she gripped triumphantly in her small hand.

And your chest ached the whole time, knowing that you would never get to meet such a wonderful human being.

Joel cried when he told you about the day she died, and you cried with him, putting the frame down gently before pulling him into your arms, wishing that you could sew the broken pieces of his heart back together.

After a while, the only sounds that filled the room were of birds chirping outside, and the sound of your stomachs growling as you grew hungry. It was some time before he finally spoke again.

“So lucky,” he whispered, almost wistfully. “My daughters.”

“Daughters?” you asked tentatively, bracing yourself for a second bombshell.

Joel hummed in response, head lolling back against his pillow as he gave you a soft smile. “Sarah and Ellie,” he said quietly. “My girls.”

A grin stretched across your face and Joel’s eyes widened, his smile broadening in response. But before he could speak again your lips were on his, pressing firmly. He grunted in surprise but responded with a fervour that had heat licking at the base of your spine.

“What am I going to do with you,” you muttered against his skin, dragging a line down his neck with the tip of your nose before smattering kisses across his chest.

“I’ve got a few ideas,” he said breathlessly and you snorted, leaning back up to kiss him again.

He dragged the sheets up to cover both of you until nothing in the world existed except you and Joel, and your chest ached at the intense feeling of love that spread through your veins.

“Dingus.”

“Dingus?”

“Are you fucking serious?”

“There’s no way that counts as a real word.”

“Hey now, hey!” you hushed the three of them, waving your hands in the air. “It does too fucking count, now shut your traps. Sore fucking losers, the lot of you.”

“You asshole,” Ellie groaned. “Put that in a fucking sentence, I dare you.”

“Ellie,” Joel chided her, trying to hide the smirk that was creeping onto his face.

“Easy,” you interrupted, sparing a sly grin in Cal’s direction. “Dingus over there needs a haircut.”

“Hey!” Cal shouted, eyes wide. “What the fuck did I do?”

“You were a non-believer, like the rest of them,” you chastised, tutting quietly. “Aaaaand it’s worth 11 points. Plus! It’s on a triple word tile, so 33. Ellie, add that to the score card.”

Ellie groaned and scribbled down your score. Cal muttered something obscene under his breath as he stared glumly at the letters in front of him, plotting his next word. Satisfied, you leaned back in your chair and raised a forkful of your dinner to your mouth. Out of the corner of your eye you could see him staring, so you turned ever so slightly to stare back.

Joel was smiling. That soft, sweet close-lipped smile that he so often only reserved for you and Ellie. A calm smile. Like nothing in the world had ever, or could ever, be wrong, if only he continued to smile like that.

“Quit smiling old man, she’s beating you too,” Ellie sneered at him, and a laugh tumbled out of Joel’s mouth.

“She’s smarter than all of us, it’s not my fault you always suggest scrabble.”

“We’re playing cards after this,” Cal said through a mouthful of food, and Ellie turned her attack on him, beginning a shouting match over how he always cheated when they played cards anyway.

You listened to them yell at each other and felt your cheeks ache with the weight of you grin. The four of you were sat outside Joel’s house, surrounded by the glow of the setting sun, laughing and drinking and eating a delicious meal. And suddenly you were struck by a memory, one from months beforehand. A memory of you and Joel, sitting by the bonfire together at the beginning of November, talking about wanting.

It was true that you’d always thought that nothing good could come from wanting. From desiring more from the life you’d been given. You’d believed that only heartache and misery could come from yearning for love or friendship or anything other than what you could hold in your two hands at any given moment. But thinking back on those words you’d spoken made you shake your head, and you wished for a moment that the person you’d been when you arrived in Jackson all those months ago could see you now. Could see who you’d become, and what you’d overcome. Because that town, that community, had shown you a different path. One of light, of laughter, of kindness. A way where you could want, and yearn, and desire freely, without shame, and without fear of consequences.

For a moment you just watched them. The three people you had come to love the most in the world, happy and safe, full-bellied, and warm. From beside you, you could hear Joel laughing at something Cal had said, and you smiled, savouring the sound. A deep, baritone noise that tore out of his chest and soared through the air around you, soaking into your skin and warming you to the bone.

And you thought, as you reached for his hand and squeezed it between the two of your own, that you felt entirely comfortable wanting to hear that sound for the rest of your life.

tag list <3

@huffle-punk @ghostofjoharvelle @n7cje @sarahhxx03 @nrmnie @missgurrl @casa-boiardi @leeeesahhh @mari-poppins @mellymbee @mumma-moonchild @peqchsoup @zarahbronstein @unbotheredbeeeee @eddie-munson-dungeon-master @libraryofneith @chibimosa @stevie75

#OH MY GOSHJDKDNDJD #THIS WAS SO GOOD #😭😭😭😭#joel miller fic #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller series #fic recs #the last of us

327 notes · View notes

solllaris · 3 months

Text

'a fragile line' - masterlist

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female OC

Fic synopsis: three years ago, Juliet escaped her father's religious survivor camp, ending up in the Boston QZ. Juliet created a life for herself in Boston, desperate to forget the trauma of her upbringing. One day, Juliet arrives home to find a mysterious letter which forces her to return to her home town. Juliet can't travel the harsh post-apocalyptic landscape alone, so she enlists the help of the grumpy and, at times, frightening man she works alongside: Joel Miller.

Tags: extreme slow burn, age gap, older man/younger woman, protective joel, jealous joel, hurt/comfort, pov third person, mutual pining, angst, sexual tension, friends to lovers, canon-typical violence, feral joel, parental abuse, eventual smut.

—————————————————-

Inspired by ‘Strangers’ by Ethel Cain, ‘Haunted’ by Taylor Swift, and ‘Francesca’ by Hozier 🫀

—————————————————-

read on ao3 - currently 27 chapters (117k words) & usually updated every 1-2 weeks!

—————————————————

read on tumblr:

chapter 1 'Marked for death'

chapter 2 'Put it on me'

chapter 3 'Twice'

chapter 4 'Something in the way'

chapter 5 'Way down we Go'

chapter 6 'Hearing Damage'

chapter 7 'Slipped'

chapter 8 'Killer + The Sound'

chapter 9 'Carolina'

chapter 10 'Salt and the Sea'

chapter 11 'Tulsa Jesus Freak'

chapter 12 'The Night We Met'

chapter 13 'First Defeat'

chapter 14 'Who We Are'

chapter 15 'Bloodstream'

chapter 16 'Villain'

chapter 17 'NFWMB'

chapter 18 ‘Funny’

chapter 19 'Strangers'

chapter 20 'No Sound But The Wind'

chapter 21 'I'm Your Man'

chapter 22 ‘Running Up That Hill’

chapter 23 'My Tears Ricochet'

chapter 24 ‘Safe and Sound’

chapter 25 'House Song'

chapter 26 'My Body is a Cage'

#read later #joel miller series #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic

369 notes · View notes

solllaris · 3 months

Text

Damaged Goods Masterlist

pairing: joel miller x f!reader- post outbreak

rating: 18+ MDNI

summary: When Joel and Ellie rescue you from a group of male raiders and take you in, you have to learn to trust again as you travel with them to find Tommy.

a/n: (photos for mood only, reader's features aren't specified.) only partly canon, basically everything is the same up until the point when they find the cabin where the reader is. did my best with dates/ locations. i also didn’t have anyone else proofread lol but i did my best! i hope you enjoy it and i can't wait to post more

fic warnings/tags: (chapters will have specified warnings, but this is general) explicit smut (18+ MDNI), smut, language, canon-typical violence, alcohol use, age difference (reader is 20s, Joel is 50), slow burn, mutual pining, angst, trauma, SA referencing

Table of contents:

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

#read later #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #joel miller series

566 notes · View notes

solllaris · 3 months

Text

'somewhere to run' masterlist

Pairing: sheriff!Joel x f!reader

Series Summary: You move to a small town in the middle of Texas to escape your past and start over. You don't expect to fall for the town's handsome sheriff.

Series Warnings: no outbreak AU, language, angst, slow burn, smut (18+ MDNI), domestic violence (mostly just talked about or implied, nothing too descriptive, i will put a big warning on those chapters), implied SA (nothing descriptive), jealousy/possessiveness, alcohol use, drug use (not by Joel or reader), technical infidelity - more warnings will be stated for each chapter but these are the biggies

Status: in progress

1: a fresh start

2: book club

3: the statement

4: the carnival

5: first date

6: the confession

7: break the chain

lovely dividers by @saradika-graphics

Asks/BTS/Inspo/Extras:

Joel's Morning Routine

Police Station Layout

Love Languages

#read later #joel miller #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #joel miller series

2K notes · View notes

solllaris · 5 months

Text

A Safe Haven | Chapter Three (J. Miller)

Series Masterlist | Previous Chapter l Next Chapter

Summary: You and Joel get to know each other better and the two of you share a private moment out behind the barn under the stars; an unexpected guest shows up to the party; Tommy gives Joel a second and final warning about you.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader, Ellie Williams x Platonic Female Reader

Warnings/Tags: 18+ only, Minors DNI. (TW) more hints at a strained and abusive marriage, implication of domestic violence; reader and Joel yearning for each other, mostly soft Joel, hints of jealous and protective Joel here and there. *Canon storyline deviation, Maria has only now just discovered she’s pregnant.

Word Count 6.4k

A/N: Welp, here is the next installment! Not much to say except that I love every single damn trope I am throwing into this series and I am not even remotely close to being sorry for mixing them all together lmao. also the first half might be a bit slow but these details and reader’s interactions with Maria and Tommy are going to play an important role later on, which is why I included this scene. comments and reblogs are always very much appreciated and welcome, thank you for your sweet reading time!

Shall I stay

would it be a sin

if I can't help falling in love with you

About an hour later, after tossing back about three or four bottles of Seth’s crappy beer, you’d started feeling a lot livelier and a lot more like yourself. It was a glass of his delicious, oak barrel aged whiskey that you had wanted more than anything, but with Esther over at the bar openly flirting up a storm with Joel Miller, you pushed down the desire for scotch and settled for the bitter, sour lager instead.

It tasted god awful, but it did the job well enough. The best part was that the bottles of beer were all readily available in coolers all around the barn, and you didn’t need to go up to the bar to get one. The last thing that you’d wanted was to find out what was going on between Esther and Joel.

Whether or not she would succeed in getting him into her bed tonight, you didn’t want to know that either. Not if you could help it.

“And the next thing you know, poor John is being chased all around the chicken coop by a bunch of broody hens!” Martha finished her story, throwing her hands up in the air. “God, I wish I would’ve had a camcorder in hand! The funniest thing I ever did see in almost two damn decades.”

Everyone sitting around the table burst into a fit of loud, hearty laughter.

“Oh okay, so then that would probably explain why there weren’t many eggs in stock at the market the other morning,” You joked, only fueling the commotion.

John glared at you, and you shrugged innocently, fighting back another laugh. Six foot two with big, broad shoulders and arms, you found it both very difficult and amusing to picture the blonde haired, green eyed man being chased around by a flock of pissed off chickens.

“I’d really like to see any of you guys try and take a broody hen’s eggs away from her with ease!” John huffed out before taking a gulp of his beer. He was red in the face, and it was hard to tell if it was from the alcohol or the embarrassment. “Assholes.”

Martha leaned over, whispering, “See? I told you it would make him mad.”

You giggled, lightly shaking your head at her. “Talk about ruffling some feathers, huh?”

She snorted into her plate, jabbing her elbow into your side. “Let’s stop before he really gets all riled up or else we’re going to get an earful.”

“Oh come on, John. Lighten up,” You grinned over at him from across the table. “I know what’ll make you feel better. You guys want to hear a really, and I mean really embarrassing story?” You paused for a second or two, just long enough for everyone to nod eagerly. “Let me tell you about what Stella did to me the other day in her stall when I tried to take her temperature, it was absolutely awful—”

“Sorry to interrupt you folks, but do you all mind if we steal this sweet little lady here for just a minute or two?” The sound of Tommy’s smooth and deep voice caused you to stop abruptly and glance over your shoulder only to see him approaching you. He was closely followed by Maria, who had traded her usual patrol duty attire for a light blue denim dress that sat off of her shoulders, the flowing skirt falling to her knees. Her white cowboy hat matched her husband’s.

“C’mon, Miller! She was just about to tell a story!” Peter, Martha’s husband, exclaimed as he draped his arm around his wife’s shoulders.

Tommy chuckled, shaking his head. “I promise we won’t keep her too long, alright?”

You immediately noticed he was holding a drink in each hand, each glass filled almost to the top with a rich and bold, amber colored substance over ice. The only reason that you’d immediately known one of the two drinks was meant for you was because Maria had just found out that she was pregnant. It was still a secret that very few people knew about, but the minute she confirmed it with a pregnancy test earlier that month, she’d come running to your door to tell you. It was the reason she was avoiding booze and held a glass bottle of lemonade in her hand instead.

“Excuse me,” You nodded politely to the group of friends you’d been sitting with and stood up from the table. You followed Tommy and Maria over to a far corner of the barn where the three of you could talk somewhat privately. Accepting the glass from Tommy, you offered him a wide and grateful smile, happy that you’d gotten the drink you had wanted after all. “Thank you.”

“Of course.” He nodded and tipped the brim of his hat to you in his typical, gentleman-like manner.

He’d never lost an ounce of those Texas manners.

Maria looped her arm through his. “Well, it looks like tonight was a real success,” she stated as she glanced around the room, her pride written clearly across her face. “Wouldn’t you say so?”

“Absolutely,” You agreed without missing a single beat. You smiled again and lifted your glass to the couple as you toasted, “Another year and another success. Here’s to many, many more to come.”

“Cheers to that, little lady,” Tommy grinned and lifted up his glass, clinking the rim of it to yours before taking a generous drink, draining almost all of it at once in a single gulp. “Thanks for stoppin’ by earlier and helpin’ set the place up, by the way. We really appreciate it.”

You waved your free hand at him. “Oh, no need to thank me at all. You already know that I was more than happy to help out,” You told him as you took a careful sip of whiskey. The hard liquor burned its way down your throat in the sweetest way. Taking another sip, you turned to look at Maria, unable to help yourself from admiring her gorgeous, natural glow. “How are you feeling?”

“Not too bad,” Maria replied with a smile, placing her free hand over her flat stomach. At only a few weeks along, she still had quite a long way to go before she began to show. “Just a little bit of morning sickness here and there, but so far, so good.” She paused and leaned her body into Tommy. “I never thought I’d be having a baby in my forties,” she mused with a laugh. “I thought that train had left the station a long time ago. But I guess life had something else planned for me.”

“For us,” Tommy corrected, playfully nudging her.

“For us,” Maria echoed, giving him a loving kiss on his cheek. “Luke calls it a geriatric pregnancy, and he told me I’m automatically considered high risk, due to my age and all. But we’re hoping it’ll go smoothly.”

You could detect the genuine concern behind her optimistic smile and reached out, gently touching her arm. “I’m sure it will all turn out fine. You just have to make sure that you’re taking good care of yourself and getting plenty of rest.” You pointed a finger at her, wagging it back and forth. “So, that means no more patrol duties for you, Mrs. Miller.”

“Oh I know,” she laughed again. “I’m on light work duties starting next week and in a few months, it’ll be strict bed rest for me. At least, that’s what Luke recommended, but I’m hoping to stay on my feet for a little bit longer than that.” She paused, tilting her head curiously at you. “Speaking of Luke, is he around? We haven’t seen him at all tonight.”

You gripped your glass tightly, the corners of your mouth threatening to turn downward, but you still held your smile well enough.

At this point, you had pretty much lost track of the number times you’d been asked about Luke.

Where is he? Why isn’t he here with you? Do you think there’s a chance he’ll show up tonight? Can you go home and convince him to join us?

You just about loathed the way he was considered to be a hero in Jackson. The way that every single damn person in the community adored the man to pieces made you sick to your stomach—Luke was anything but a hero, but nobody knew that. Not a soul knew the real him, the monster that emerged behind closed doors when no one was around.

There had been an occasion or two where you had considered going to Tommy and Maria about it, to tell them all about the horrors that went on within the four walls of your home. But even when they’d point out a bruise on your arm or a scrape on your cheek, you would lose the courage and chalk it up to a clumsy accident or injuries sustained while on the job—hell, just a few months ago, you’d blamed an injured shoulder on Ranger, telling Tommy that his stallion had accidentally kicked you during one of your routine examinations. You wanted nothing more than to tell him that it hadn’t been his horse who put you in a sling for three weeks, it had been Luke. But how the hell could you do that?

Luke was the commune’s doctor, their only doctor. Besides the two older nurses who worked in the clinic with him, he was the only medically trained professional, and it often dawned on you that Jackson really did need him. If you went and told Tommy and Maria about everything that he’d done to you over the last two years, then you’d risk getting Luke locked up in the town jail or thrown out and exiled from the settlement. What would that mean for the people in the community who fell ill or became injured and needed a trained physician?

Maybe he wasn’t a hero to you, but to everybody else, he was. People could die without him and his medical knowledge. Hell, Maria would need Luke now more than ever now that she was pregnant.

For as much as you wanted to tell them the truth about him, you just couldn’t find the guts to do it, not when the decision would impact every single person in Jackson.

It would be too selfish.

So, you kept quiet. And you continued to just let it happen because what else could you do?

Nothing.

There wasn’t a damn thing you could do about it.

Tommy said your name, snapping you back out of your thoughts. “Hey, you alright?” he asked you as he gingerly touched your shoulder. “You zoned out on us for a minute there.”

You blinked. “Yeah sorry, I’m alright. Luke decided to stay at home and get some rest,” You replied as you shifted awkwardly from boot to boot, feeling a sudden heat flood your face. “He’s been working a lot of hours at the clinic and making house calls as well, so he’s just been really tired, you know?”

“Oh, well that’s too bad,” Maria frowned. “Tommy and I were hoping we could say this to the both of you together, but I suppose you’ll have to give him the message on our behalf when you get home to him later tonight.”

You shot her a puzzled look. “What is it?”

“We know we don’t say this as often as we should, but you and Luke do so much for us,” Tommy said, a sincere gratitude dripping from his tone. “We’re damn lucky to have the two of you in Jackson. Me and Maria, and everyone in this community, we’re all deeply indebted to both of you for all you do.”

You stared at him, almost blankly. “Everyone here works very hard, Tommy—”

“Now I ain’t saying they don’t,” he interrupted you, holding up his hand. “But let’s be honest here. Luke, he takes good care of all of our people, you take good care of all of our horses—people and horses, that’s what keeps this place goin’ and you know it just as well as we do. Without the both of you lookin’ after our two most important resources, I ain’t all too sure where the hell this place would be.”

Maria nodded in agreement with her husband and squeezed his arm. “Oh, don’t be so modest,” she’d remarked as soon as she saw the expression that crossed your face. “He’s right. And we need you to know how much we appreciate everything the two of you do for this community.”

Tommy grinned, raising his glass in a toast. “To you and Luke.”

Stomach turning, you flashed them your very best smile and lifted your own glass, clinking it against his and then to Maria’s bottle of lemonade. “Well, I will certainly give him the kind message.” You took a quick sip of your drink, an overwhelming feeling suddenly washing over you. The room felt hot, like it had been lit on fire and you were standing too close to the flames. “It’s starting to feel a bit warm in here. I’m going to go outside for a minute to get some fresh air. Excuse me.”

Before either of them could utter another single word to you, you spun around on your heel and made your way across the barn towards the exit. Even as you hurried out, you’d caught sight of Ellie sitting with Dina at one of the tables, digging into her plate full of barbecue. Dina had leaned over and whispered something into Ellie’s ear and Ellie let out a loud, obnoxious cackle through a mouthful of food.

Despite everything, you couldn’t help but smile—an actual, genuine smile this time around.

At least Ellie seemed to be having a good time.

That was more than enough for you.

Joel took a glimpse over Esther’s shoulder.

His eyebrows pulled together in a mixture of both confusion and concern as he watched you hastily leave the barn alone with a drink clutched in your hand and a strange expression on your face.

You seemed upset.

The blonde in front of him had been going on and on about where she was from, although he hadn’t quite been listening to her the entire time she had been talking—or at all. Had Esther said Vermont?

Or maybe it had been Virginia?

Joel wasn’t all too sure, but he didn’t care enough to ask her to clarify. Besides, his thoughts were far too busy preoccupied with someone else.

Someone he needed to make sure was alright.

“Listen, it’s been real nice talkin’ to you,” he stated as he offered the woman the best, and most polite smile he could possibly muster up for her. He tried to ignore the awkward way she’d pouted at him, a sad, disappointed look flashing in her eyes. “I have to go and take care of somethin’ for a minute. Will you excuse me?”

He didn’t even give Esther the chance to respond. Setting his drink down on the counter, he gave her a quick nod goodbye and stepped around her. He started towards the barn’s exit, but before leaving, he tossed a quick glance in Ellie’s direction just to make sure she’d been doing okay without him. He had been keeping a close and watchful eye on her from the bar the entire time. After a while, it soon became apparent to Joel that Ellie had been doing just fine. She was scarfing down another helping of bison and potatoes, grinning from ear to ear as she talked with Dina, who seemed to be enjoying her company.

He couldn’t have been more relieved at the sight.

Joel stepped outside into the night, doing his best to be as subtle as he could possibly be as he took a look around, searching for you among the small, scattered groups of people who stood mingling, a buzz of chatter filling the air.

You were nowhere to be found.

His dark brown eyes then fell to the ground.

He noticed a long trail of footprints left behind by what had to be a pair of cowboy boots, similar to the brown ones you’d been wearing. The odd way that they veered off in a random direction far away from the rest of the crowd tipped Joel off almost a bit too easily, letting him know they belonged to you. Without even giving it another thought, he started to follow them—the tracks led him all the way around to the back of the barn.

That’s where Joel found you, leaning against the wooden, paddock fence. You were turned around with your back to him, your head tilted upwards.

Your gaze seemed to be lost somewhere up in the velvet, purple night skies and you were swaying to the pretty country melody that could still be heard coming from inside the barn. Your movement was so subtle, so soft that Joel would have missed it if he’d blinked.

Turn around, a sound voice in the back of his mind tried to reason with him. Go go back inside.

He ignored it, his legs moving forward to close the distance between the two of you.

The sound of his own boots crunching on several rocks mixed in with the dirt as he drew closer and closer to you caused you to jump slightly. You let out a tiny gasp and whirled around, your free hand flying to your chest.

“Sorry! M’sorry,” Joel hastily apologized to you, holding up both his hands to show that he wasn’t a threat. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“Joel?” You were surprised to see him. “What are you doing out here?”

The area out behind the barn was just as dark as it was secluded, however, the moon that night was a full one, big and bright. Its silver glow illuminated each and every single one of your features in such a beautiful way that it made his throat go dry, just like it had earlier that evening when he’d first seen you in that little yellow dress.

“Well ain’t that funny. I was actually just ‘bout to ask you the same exact question.” He fell into step beside you, leaning back against the fence. “What are you doin’ out here all by your lonesome?”

“Oh, I just needed some fresh air is all,” You replied with a small, light shrug. You turned back around, leaning your forearms on top of the wooden fence, both hands wrapped around your glass of whiskey firmly. You’d been standing so closely to Joel that your shoulder touched his, though neither of you made a move to put space in between your bodies. “What’s your excuse?”

“Needed a breather from Esther,” he confessed.

It was partially the truth.

He couldn’t tell you he had really come outside to check on you.

“What do you mean? Didn’t you like her?”

“Don’t get me wrong, she’s nice and all,” Joel said, letting out a chuckle. He shook his head. “She just ain’t the kind of company I’m lookin’ for tonight.” He paused for just a brief second and crossed his arms over his chest, his sudden change in position causing his shoulder to press even closer against your own. “Tommy mentioned her to me when we were havin’ lunch together yesterday. He said he’d be willin’ to set us up, but I didn’t think his dumbass would actually follow through with it.”

Confused, your lips parted ever so slightly.

Joel had already known about Esther?

“I’d told him I wasn’t interested in meetin’ her, but Tommy’s always had a real habit of not listenin’ to me,” he remarked, shaking his head once again.

The question had escaped you before you could even think about trying to stop it. “Why aren’t you interested?” You cleared your throat and added in the most nonchalant tone, “Esther is gorgeous.”

“S’like I told you. She just ain’t the kind of company I’m lookin’ for tonight.”

“So then, what kind of company are you looking for?”

Joel hesitated, but answered honestly. “Yours.”

“Oh,” You breathed out, heart skipping a beat.

He tested the waters. “That alright to say?”

“Mhm,” was all you’d been able to utter. You were currently fighting to take a steady, even breath.

“Y’know, when I was on my way out here, I saw Ellie and Dina still sittin’ together,” Joel finally spoke up after a minute or two. “She honestly seems to be havin’ a real good time with her.” He nudged you with his shoulder, a hint of amusement in his voice as he’d turned to you and asked, “Now tell me why I have this strange little feelin’ that you had somethin’ to do with that?”

Your guilty expression prompted his grin.

You’d just been caught red handed.

“Okay, so I may or may not have talked to Dina earlier today while we were setting up the barn for the party. I asked if she could do me a favor and at least try and talk to Ellie tonight,” You admitted, sheepishly. “I told her about how much Ellie reminds me of her, and how I thought they would get along.” You felt his dark eyes fixed intently on you, and you felt the heat creep up to your cheeks as you continued to explain yourself to him. It had only just occurred to you that perhaps you should have ran the idea by Joel—he was her guardian and the last thing you’d wanted was to cross any kind of boundary. “It took a little convincing. Dina can still be quite shy sometimes but she’s a good girl, I promise.”

Joel raised an eyebrow at you, letting his arms fall down to his sides. “Really? You did that?”

“Yeah. I did.” You nervously took a long sip of your whiskey before adding, “I hope that’s okay?”

“I really appreciate you doin’ that for Ellie.” Joel’s soft gaze met yours, the sincerity swimming in his eyes. “I appreciate everythin’ that you’ve done for her. It means a lot to me, more than I can probably even explain.”

“I can tell how important she is to you.”

Joel nodded. “Ellie’s the most important thing in the world to me.” He stopped, releasing a long and heavy sigh. “She’s been through a whole lot, a hell of a lot more than anyone that age should have to go through.” He stopped momentarily and tried to keep his emotions in check. He swallowed harshly, and subconsciously leaned closer towards you as he dove in a little deeper. “Ellie, she ain’t my blood but she’s my daughter. For a long time, I thought I couldn’t take care of her. I thought that I didn’t have what it takes to protect her.”

“And what about now?”

“Now that we’re here, I feel real different ‘bout it all. I finally feel like I can keep Ellie safe. I can give her the life she deserves,” Joel stated, sounding a bit relieved, almost like he had just now made the realization.

Pulling yourself back from the fence, you glanced up at him with a curious expression. There were a thousand questions running through your mind at the moment, about him and about Ellie.

“Ellie hasn’t told me all that much about what she’s gone through—about what either of you have gone through.” You caught sight of the worry that flashed in his eyes and reassured him, “And I don’t plan on asking because it isn’t any of my business. But in the short time I’ve gotten to know Ellie, I’ve already seen it in her eyes, Joel. It’s all there.”

“What’s there?”

“Every bad thing that’s ever happened to her.”

Joel hung his head. “You see it too, huh?”

And just like that, he’d felt like a fucking failure all over again.

“I know that you’re worried about her, Joel. I don’t blame you, but you’re doing all that you can do,” You reminded him, the kindness in your voice causing a warmth to radiate throughout his body. “You’re here in the community now and she’s safe. That’s what’s important—all the rest is going to fall right into place soon enough. Just give her a bit of time and don’t put so much pressure on yourself.”

Joel sighed again. “I just want what’s best for her, y’know? Just like any normal parent would want for their kid.”

“And you are doing the best that you can, just like any normal parent would.” You reached out, gently placing your hand on his bare forearm. Your mere touch sent a tingle up his spine, and little did Joel know that the connection had sent one up yours too. “It’s easy to see how much you care about her. How much you love her.”

“I do love her,” he murmured. It felt almost foreign for him to say it out loud. Of course he loved Ellie, and although he was pretty certain she knew that and she loved him too, those three specific words had never been exchanged between them and he had the feeling they never would be. “All I want is to do right by her. After everythin’ that she’s been through, I just want her to finally be happy.”

“That says a lot about the kind of person you are.”

Joel shook his head, biting back a scoff. He didn’t want you thinking that he was a good person. You would be horrified if you knew about all the blood that stained his hands, about all of the things he’d done in the last twenty years to survive.

Your hand dropped from his arm, a lot sooner than either of you would have liked.

“So, what’s your story?” he asked, feeling a desire to switch the focus onto you in an effort to know a bit more about you. “How’d you end up in good ol’ Jackson, Wyoming?”

You took another sip of your drink. “Well, like I told you, I grew up in New Mexico on a horse ranch. It was me, my parents, and my little brother,” You’d started to explain. “After the outbreak happened, me and my family ended up in the Albuquerque QZ. We were there for quite some time, until there was a breach at one of the gates and the zone was overrun with infected.” You paused briefly as the memories came flooding back. “Me and my dad made it out alive, but my mom and my brother didn’t.”

Joel frowned. “Shit, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have asked—”

“It’s okay,” You assured him with a nod. “After me and my dad made it out of the zone, we found this group of people. It wasn’t long before everyone started to get picked off one by one—by infected, clickers, raiders, and even slavers. Somehow, we’d survived all that but we found ourselves alone. We were starving, had no shelter, and winter was just around the corner. We honestly didn’t know what we were going to do, and even though neither me or my dad ever said it, we thought we were going to die. But then Tommy and his patrol group came across us one night. Once we proved that neither of us were infected, he brought us in.”

“You’ve been through a lot,” Joel stated. He would have never guessed.

You just seemed so well put together.

“Haven’t we all?” You let out a humorless laugh.

A silence fell like a curtain over both of you, but it was comfortable.

Tranquil.

Although it had been a warmer night, it was now much later into the evening and a breeze found its way through the settlement, whisking its cool and crisp fingers through your hair. It caused the white daisy you’d been wearing in it to fall, and the flower fluttered to the ground, landing right in between Joel’s boots. Without giving it a second thought, he reached down and picked it up, being careful as he gingerly dusted the dirt off of the delicate petals. He turned to you, tucking the flower back behind your ear. As his hand fell away from you, his index finger accidentally grazed the soft skin of your cheek, causing every part of him to flood with the burning desire to feel more of you.

“M’sorry ‘bout that,” he mumbled sheepishly.

“It’s quite alright,” You assured him. You couldn’t remember the last time someone’s mere touch caused your insides to feel like they’d just gone up in blazing flames. You had been feeling cold and empty and numb for so long, and while all of the things that Joel was making you feel had become almost foreign, they were reigniting that spark of life inside of you that you’d lost long ago—and it was actually real, not part of the phony act that you put on for the entire community.

From inside the barn, the two of you could hear the band begin to play their cover of ‘Can’t Help Falling in Love’.

“Elvis, huh?” Joel mused, raising an impressed eyebrow.

You weren’t sure if all the alcohol had suddenly just kicked into full gear in your system or whether you really did lack any kind of common sense, but you found yourself looking up at him shyly through your thick, dark eyelashes as you asked him, “How about another dance?”

“To this song?”

Neck burning with embarrassment, you tightly gripping your glass. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked. It’s just that I really love to dance,” You sputtered out nervously, wishing you could teleport to another planet right about now. You only dug yourself further into the hole as you continued to ramble. “Luke doesn’t like to dance at all, he never wants to dance with me—”

That’s all Joel had needed to hear.

He reached for your glass, taking it from you. He set it down on top of the fence and held his hand out to you.

“I’ll dance with you.”

Looking at him in surprise, you accepted his hand in yours. His other hand found your waist and you two began swaying along to the music, causing a smile that could light up the entire town to break out onto your face. Joel didn’t know Luke, but he couldn’t fathom how the man you were married to wouldn’t do just about anything to see that smile.

“Wait, I thought you couldn’t dance,” You teased, noticing the way he was leading you.

Joel shrugged, flashing you a grin. “Guess the kid was right. I ain’t so bad for fifty six with creakin’ knees.”

Remembering Ellie’s words from earlier, you threw your head back and laughed.

His stomach somersaulted over and over again in a tangle of want, nerves, desire, and jitters.

You being married did nothing to fucking stop it.

For either of you.

Being in his arms, it was wrong.

But it felt so right.

Joel continued to lead you in the dance. He found himself singing along to the familiar lyrics, quietly, but just loud enough for you to hear the richness of his voice. “Like a river flows, surely to the sea,” he sang, subconsciously giving your hand a gentle squeeze in his. “Darlin’ so it goes, some things are meant to be.”

“Whoa,” You raised an eyebrow at him, looking and sounding impressed. “You’ve got a nice voice, Joel.”

“You think so?”

You nodded. “What, were you a singer in your first life or something?”

“Close.”

“Really? What did you do?

“I was a contractor,” Joel replied, grinning as he elicited another sweet laugh from you. “I did enjoy singin’ a lot though and playin’ the guitar too. But it was a hobby more than anythin’ since I don’t think music would’ve paid the bills.”

You smiled up at him. “Well, now you’re going to have to play the guitar for me sometime. Maybe even sing me a whole song?”

“I still owe Ellie a song,” he remembered, shaking his head. “But I don’t have a guitar, so it gets me out of it.”

“Well then, we’re going to have to find you one and when we do, you’ll have to play something for us,” You told him. “Deal?”

“Deal.” Joel agreed. He started singing along to the lyrics again. “Take my hand, take my whole life too—”

“But I can’t help falling in love with you.” You tried not to laugh again at the shock on his face as you finished for him.

“You’ve got a real nice voice yourself.”

“Oh, now you’re just being nice,” You accused him with another smile.

The song ended and neither of you made a move to let go of one another.

Joel’s eyes fell to your lips and it took every ounce of strength he had inside of him not to lean down and press his own lips against them.

Finally, he found it in himself to let go of you. He stepped back, clearing his throat. “I should, uh, I should go and find Ellie so I can get her home. It’s gettin’ kinda late.”

You nodded, your heart pounding inside of your chest. “Of course. I'll come along with you so I can say goodnight to her.”

As the two of you made your way around the barn and back towards the entrance, Joel noticed a tall man with short dark hair approaching. He’d called out your name and something in Joel’s brain just instantly clicked—he knew exactly who the man was before you’d even had a chance to open your mouth.

“Luke?” You nearly squeaked out his name. “What are you doing here?”

“There you are! I was about to come out and look for you.” He came up and immediately took your arm, pulling you from Joel’s side and over to his.

Luke was a bit younger than Joel, definitely closer in age to Tommy—somewhere around his mid to late forties. He seemed to be a lot more clean cut than most of the other men in the commune with his neatly kept hair and a near clean shaven face.

“What are you doing here?” You repeated.

“Now, is that really how a loving wife should greet her husband?” Luke laughed, holding you closer against his side.

Joel wasn’t all too fond of the way he held you.

Possessively.

“I decided to come and check it out. See what all the fuss is about,” Luke said. He glanced at Joel, his green eyes giving him a once over. “Don’t be rude, honey. Aren’t you going to introduce me to your new friend here?”

You spoke softly, almost too softly.

“Luke, this is Joel Miller.”

“Ah, Tommy’s brother, right?”

Joel did his best not to sound too curt. “That’s right.”

“Joel, this is Luke. He’s my husband.” You couldn’t even look him in the eye as you introduced him.

Luke extended a courteous hand. “It is a pleasure to meet you, Joel.” His other hand found and took yours. “I do hope that my wife here hasn’t been bothering you tonight. She can be quite the little chatterbox. Makes me wish she came with a mute button sometimes.”

Joel’s dark eyes briefly fell to Luke’s hand holding yours, taking note of the way he was gripping it so hard that his knuckles had gone white. Between that and the comment he’d just made, Joel had every right mind to connect his fist to the side of Luke’s face.

“Luke, please,” You whispered, throwing him a tiny glare.

“Oh come on now, honey. Where did your sense of humor go? You know I’m only joking,” Luke stated, squeezing your hand a little harder, causing you to squirm.

Something told Joel he wasn’t kidding around.

He’d meant what he had said.

“She hasn’t been a bother at all,” Joel spoke, his voice tight as he defended you. “Actually, I came out here to talk to her and to thank her for bein’ so kind to my kid, Ellie. Your wife here, she has been nothin’ but good to her since we arrived.”

“Well, as long as she wasn’t being a bother.” Luke glanced down at you. “If you’ll excuse us, there’s a few people that I still need to see and say hello to inside. Come along, honey.” He glanced at Joel, a strange glint in his eye as he told him, “Welcome to Jackson, Joel.”

Joel watched as he all but dragged you into the barn.

Nothing about Luke sat right with him.

The way he’d spoken to you, touched you, treated you.

And then there was you.

The way that you had instantly changed around him, the way the light left your eyes and you went silent as a mouse the second he came around.

Something wasn’t right.

A rough hand on his shoulder startled him out of his thoughts.

“Really, Joel? Really? What the fuck is wrong with you?” Tommy hissed, yanking him over to the side of the barn so nobody would overhear him. “What the fuck did I say yesterday in the mess hall?”

“What the hell are you talkin’ ‘bout?”

His brother glared at him. “I know that you ain’t as dumb as you look. What were you doin’ out here alone with her?”

Joel pursed his lips together tightly in silence.

What all had he seen?

Tommy had read his mind. “You were dancin’ with her you fuckin’ asshole? Did you fuckin’ forget that she’s a married woman?”

Joel rolled his eyes at him, shoving his hand off of his shoulder a little more aggressively than he had meant to. “We were just dancin’ together, alright? It ain’t like we were makin’ out, Tommy. Can you fuckin’ relax?”

“I don’t give a fuck, Joel! If I saw any man that wasn’t me dancin’ with Maria like that, I’d want to fuckin’ murder him, strangle him with my own two hands!” He nearly spat. “Her husband just showed up to the damn party. You’re lucky that it was me who saw you out there with her and not him. What if he’d seen you two? Then what?”

“Tommy, relax,” Joel tried to calm him. “It was just a dance, alright? It was nothin’ more than that.”

“You listen to me and listen to me good, because I ain’t fuckin’ gonna say it again, big brother. Don’t go gettin’ any ideas ‘bout her. I don’t need you to go around stirrin’ up any kind of trouble,” Tommy said, his voice firm. “We can’t have that kinda shit here. Maria won’t tolerate it, and you know what, I won’t either. Don’t cause problems. Got it?”

“I didn’t plan on it,” Joel muttered, bitterly.

Tommy narrowed his eyes at him.

“Just fuckin’ watch yourself, Joel,” he warned.

Lyrics: Can’t Help Falling In Love - Elvis Presley

I no longer have a taglist, for any updates on this series or any other of my works, please head on over to my writing blog @darkroastwrites and turn on notifications!

#screaming #screw u luke #joel miller series #joel miller fanfiction #fic recs #tlou #the last of us #joel miller

2K notes · View notes

solllaris · 5 months

Text

A Safe Haven | Chapter One (J. Miller)

Series Masterlist l Next Chapter

Summary: After the events in Salt Lake City, Joel and Ellie are back in Jackson, Wyoming to start a brand new life in the safe haven; Ellie has a difficult time fitting in and adjusting in the community, but she finds a friend in you; Joel meets you for the very first time and strange new feelings instantly take root.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader; Ellie Williams x Platonic Female Reader

Warnings/Tags: 18+ only, Minors DNI. Jackson Era Joel. AGE GAP (reader is 30 and Joel is 56) I have my own face claim for reader that I will share on the main masterlist, however in the series, there is NO PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION of reader. Canon language, married reader, Ellie is a prominent character in this series, mentions of minor TLOU Part II characters throughout the series, but no major spoilers for the game. No use of Y/N.

Word Count: 7.8k

I’ve seen hard times, bad luck, all that in between

sweetest of the sunflowers, you’re the sun to me

Jackson, Wyoming | June, 2024

Joel’s deep, dark brown eyes lingered on you from across the mess hall with curiosity.

It’s about half past twelve in the afternoon, the town’s designated lunch break hour, and the larger scale eatery, which for the last couple of years has been run by an older man named Seth and his two surviving adult sons, was buzzing loudly with obnoxious, overlapping chatter.

The hall was full, packed to the brim with several members of the steadily growing community who had stopped in for a quick bite to eat before having to resume their daily work duties around the settlement. Or at least, a majority of them had, anyway. Others tried shamelessly to milk their lunch hour for all that it was worth and more, dragging it out and extending their allotted free time for as long as they possibly could before having to return to their scheduled tasks around the commune. They floated about the place, socializing as if the mess hall had suddenly turned into The Tipsy Bison, the bar right across the road that was also owned and operated by Seth and his sons.

Somehow, by a stroke of sheer good luck, you’d managed to find yourself a smaller, unoccupied table nestled against the wall. The round table was tucked away over in the furthest corner of Jackson’s busy and bustling makeshift canteen, near where the aluminum double doors that led back to the kitchens were propped wide open for the mess hall staff who were coming in and out.

You were sitting at the table alone, your plastic lunch tray surrounded by an absurdly large number of open books that Joel had very little choice but to assume came from the town’s modest, but decently sized library that he’d seen nestled right between the schoolhouse and the old church. In between delicate bites of oven baked chicken and roasted garden vegetables, you would reach up and take the blunt, worn out yellow pencil tucked in the space behind your ear, using it to scribble down some notes into the notepad in your lap before putting the pencil back in its designated place. Although you were clearly working through your lunch break today, that didn’t stop you from being interrupted on several different occasions by numerous individuals—friends and familiar faces all approached you with hopeful expressions, eager to join you and keep you company.

With the number of available seats still left at the other partially occupied tables nearby, it became apparent to Joel that you were something of a hot commodity in Jackson. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but there was just something about you that reminded him of the sweet and popular small town girl his favorite country artists would sing about back in the day. The kind of girl with a magnetic presence and irresistible charm—the kind of girl that anyone could fall in love with in one way or another.

There was something almost endearing about the gracious way that you would offer up just the most saccharine smile and apologetic doe eyes as you pointed to your open books, politely declining every offer for companionship that came your way. Eventually, after a while, you had finally been left alone to bury yourself back into whatever it was that was keeping you occupied—you were so engrossed in the task, so lost in it that you hadn’t even noticed the older, dark haired newcomer who’d been blatantly staring at you from his table over on the opposite side of the room for the last several minutes.

It hadn’t been the first time Joel had seen you around. He still vividly remembered the moment when he’d first laid eyes on you several months ago during the winter.

It had been the morning after his heartbreaking fight with Ellie, after she confronted him and he’d been forced to finally fess up about his plans to hand her off to his younger brother, Tommy, so that he could get her to the Fireflies in Colorado. Joel’s mind had been in an all out raging war, his heart caught in between doing what he’d felt was best for Ellie and what he truly wanted, which was to remain by her side and get her to the Fireflies himself. But how the fuck could he do that when all he had managed to do in the few months prior was fail to protect her over and over again? Ellie might have been a teenager, but she was still a child. She needed somebody who could get her safely to where she needed to be and Joel had come to the conclusion that, as much as he wanted to be that person, he simply wasn’t. He feared he’d only end up getting her killed if she continued on with him, a scenario that he fucking refused to let happen at all costs. He wouldn’t hold another child’s dead body in his arms, not again.

Following a very long and sleepless night of tossing and turning, Joel had pulled himself out of bed just after sunrise that morning. After getting dressed, he’d quietly slipped out of the house and made his way down to the horse stables, hoping he could leave the commune as soon as possible and without notice from Tommy—and especially without notice from Ellie. It’s not that he had wanted to leave without saying goodbye to her, but Joel knew he wouldn’t have it in him to follow through with the decision he’d made about parting ways with her if he saw her face again, not a chance in fucking hell. And so there he’d been, in one of the stalls at the stables, saddling up the horse he planned to steal and take off on when you’d walked by, flashing him a warm and friendly smile.

Joel had just stared at you, almost blankly, lips pressed together into a tight, thin line on his hard, stony face.

Of course, you were nothing more than just a complete stranger who didn’t have the slightest clue as to what was going through his mind. You couldn’t possibly have even imagined what was happening to the tortured man you’d just encountered, the way his inner turmoil was one single thought away from tearing him apart from the inside out. You’d probably just thought he was rude as fuck for not smiling back, or at the very least offering you a courteous good morning.

He’d almost forgotten about you since then.

Almost.

It’d been difficult for him to forget all about the prettiest damn fucking face he’d ever seen since the world ended, not even after all of the events that followed that fateful morning.

The next time Joel had seen you was on his second or third day back in Wyoming. He and Ellie had gone down to the produce market to pick up some vegetables and jarred preserves to stock up the kitchen pantry of their new, permanent home. He’d caught sight of you as you made your way down one of the aisles towards the sweet potato bins with a brown, woven basket hanging from your arm. Before Joel even realized that he’d been staring, your kind gaze met his own from across the market and you smiled at him again.

Still just as warm, still just as friendly.

And you were still just as fucking beautiful as he remembered.

But just like that winter morning in the horse stables, Joel didn’t smile back at you.

Two for fucking two—surely you must have thought he was a fucking asshole at this point. He honestly wouldn’t blame you if you did.

Tommy, who had made it back from leading his morning patrol group just in time to join him for lunch, waved a hand in front of Joel’s face, looking thoroughly amused. “Maybe we should find you a goddamn camera,” he teased, letting out a small chuckle once he’d finally managed to garner the older Miller’s attention and snapped him out of his trance. “Y’know, so you can take a picture. It’ll last longer.”

Joel scowled at his brother, though he said nothing.

He couldn’t very well deny that he’d been caught openly gawking, now could he?

“Shut up,” was all he could come up with before taking a large bite of seasoned carrots, feeling a slight heat flood to his face. The way that Tommy looked at him reminded him of their younger days when he’d make it his mission to do anything that would cause Joel discomfort in typical, annoying younger sibling behavior.

“Hey, I don’t really blame you, y’know.” Tommy reached over for his glass of sweet iced tea and picked it up, taking a long and refreshing sip. Smacking his lips together, he casually shrugged his shoulders, shooting Joel a knowing smirk over the top the glass as he commented, “She’s certainly a sight for sore eyes, ain’t she, big brother?”

“Watch it. I don’t think Maria would appreciate you sayin’ that kinda thing ’bout another woman who ain’t her,” Joel warned, cocking an eyebrow at him. His brother hadn’t always been the most faithful of partners in his first life, but Tommy truly seemed to be head over heels in love with his wife. Hearing him talk about another woman made Joel wonder if perhaps remnants of his playboy ways still lingered behind even after twenty years. With Maria having just found out she was expecting his child, Joel certainly hoped that wasn’t the case.

Tommy shrugged again. “What? Ain’t no real harm in just takin’ a quick look every once in a while,” he mused, although there was a joking edge to his tone. Setting his glass of iced tea back down onto the table in front of him, he leaned back into his chair and glanced over at you. He let out a long, low whistle, another smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. “Oh I get it, Joel—hell, every single man around here gets it. She’s a real fuckin’ beauty, she is. But I should probably go ahead and warn you now that it’s best you don’t go gettin’ any ideas when it comes to that one.”

Before Joel could even stop himself, he found himself asking, “Why’s that?”

His reply was prompt.

“‘Cause she’s already spoken for, that’s why.”

“She’s got a boyfriend.” The words left Joel as a statement rather than a question.

“She’s got a husband,” Tommy corrected him. “She’s a married woman. And here’s the real fuckin’ kicker. She’s married to Jackson’s only doctor.”

Joel scoffed, rolling his eyes. “A real doctor? Or just some fuckin’ clueless prick who claims to be a doctor?” he questioned, shoving another forkful of his carrots into his mouth.

The younger man laughed at the bitter skepticism, knowing that it’d come from a place of envy more than anything. “Real, Joel. The guy’s around my age, give or take a couple years. He was finishin’ up his medical school residency when the outbreak first happened, at least that’s what Maria says,” he explained. He noticed the confusion flash across Joel’s face and continued, “Two of them go way back, went to the same college before she transferred out to another school for her law degree. Maria came across him and his group one day while out lookin’ for supplies. She said he still knew his stuff after all these years and decided to bring him in as the community’s physician. He looks after everyone around here. Delivers the babies, stitches up wounds. Hell, I broke my arm in a stupid ridin’ accident last summer and he set the bone right back into place, had me good as new within a few weeks.”

Joel glanced down at his plate, twiddling his fork between his thumb and his index finger. He would have been a goddamn dirty liar if he’d said that finding out you were married hadn’t bothered him.

And to a fucking doctor nonetheless.

That only made it sting a little harder.

Tommy immediately picked up on his brother’s displeasure in hearing the news about you being taken and softly kicked his shin with the toe of his boot underneath the table. “Y’know Joel, there’s plenty of other single women around here. Pretty ones, and real nice, too,” he informed him with a small smile. He paused and then offered. “If you’re interested, I could introduce you around. Maria has this friend, her name is Esther and she’s a real cute blonde—”

“That’s the last thing on my fuckin’ mind,” Joel grumbled out in reply. He tightly shook his head. “I just fuckin’ got here, Tommy. Besides, I’ve got Ellie that I need to take care of. We’re both just tryin’ to get used to this place after bein’ out there on the road for so long. We’re still in the middle of gettin’ ourselves settled. The kid’s my priority right now—my only fuckin’ priority. Not meetin’ someone.”

Not wanting to push him too far, Tommy went along with the subject change. “Speakin’ of Ellie, how’s she been doin’ by the way? Haven’t really seen much of her since you two got back.”

Joel hesitated, momentarily unable to meet Tommy’s eyes.

It’d been a couple of weeks now since the events that took place in Salt Lake City.

Since the hospital.

Since the Fireflies.

Joel had certainly thought once or twice about confiding in Tommy about what he had done. How he had ruthlessly and without a single ounce of mercy killed all of those people in the hospital, how he had shot Marlene dead at point blank range—how he had violently and single handedly stopped what had most likely been humanity’s only chance at potentially finding a cure for the cordyceps infection by preventing the Fireflies from operating on Ellie and performing a brain surgery that would have killed her. Joel didn’t regret any of it, nor did he regret the choice that he had made on Ellie’s behalf. He would do it all over again in a fucking heartbeat if it came down to it.

He didn’t carry guilt over having done what he did, but he did carry the guilt of lying to her about it after it was all said and done. He felt awful for looking her in her eyes and swearing to her that everything he’d said about the Fireflies was true when it wasn’t. Ellie claimed to believe him, but he knew better than that. She was too fucking smart for her own good. She might not have known the extent of it all, but she knew for certain that Joel wasn’t being entirely forthright about what had gone down in Salt Lake City while she’d been unconscious.

From that moment on the mountain, things had been quite tense between them. That conversation instantly caused a rift in their relationship, but Joel could tell she was doing her very best to force herself to fully believe that he was still a person she could trust, a person she could put her faith in. He took an odd sense of comfort in knowing that her forced efforts to keep believing in him had to have meant something good. She didn’t want to give up on him or on their relationship.

Joel let out a heavy sigh, finally answering the question. “Not too great,” he admitted, quietly. “I’m real worried ‘bout her, Tommy. It’s been a couple weeks now since we’ve been back and she still hasn’t made one single goddamn friend around here. She doesn’t fuckin’ talk to anyone, not even Maria.” He sighed again, tiredly rubbing the side of his face with his free hand. “She spends most of her time hidin’ out in the stables with the horses. She would rather be around them than other people. She can’t live the rest of her life like that. I try to tell her she needs to put in more effort on her part, but she won’t fuckin’ listen to me.”

“Just give her some more time, Joel. After everythin’ that poor kid’s been through in her life, it ain’t a big surprise that she’s strugglin’ a bit to fit in around here, y’know?” Tommy noticed the way his older brother’s jaw clenched and he offered him a look of sympathy. “Look, I know Ellie means a whole lot to you and if I were you, I would be real worried ’bout her too. But just give her a little more time to adjust. She’ll get there, I know she fuckin’ will. She’s a real strong kid, big brother.”

“Yeah, I know she is,” Joel murmured. “Hell of a lot stronger than someone her age should have to be.”

“She’ll be just fine,” Tommy reassured him. “She’ll find her place here, Joel. Just wait. You’ll see.”

“I sure as hell fuckin’ hope you’re right.”

You relished the feeling of warm sunlight hitting your face.

Summer was just beginning in Wyoming, and after a particularly long, cold and cruel winter that swept the western state this last year, you couldn’t have been more thrilled to see that warmer weather was well on its way.

At least, for now you were.

Winters in Jackson were awful, but summers could be just as brutal, if not worse.

Clutching the strap of your old, but sturdy brown leather satchel bag securely over your shoulder, you hurriedly made your way across the settlement from the mess hall and back towards the horse stables, the place you commonly referred to as your second home; it wasn’t all that much of a joke, seeing as you were there more often than you weren’t. It was after lunch hour and there was still plenty of work to be done before the end of the day rolled around, most of it which would undoubtedly trickle into the next day.

Being the only veterinarian in the community, there was always more than plenty of work to be done every day—way too much work to be done by one single person. Often, you found yourself feeling quite overwhelmed by it all. You felt like you were completely in over your head, and it left you wondering if you’d made the right decision by taking such an enormous responsibility into your hands.

Then again, it wasn’t like you’d really been given much of a choice.

In a way, it had been expected of you.

Prior to passing away from illness two summers ago, your father had been the veterinarian who looked after the animals. Even though you hadn’t been trained professionally like he had, your father decided to spend the final years of his life teaching you to the best of his ability and with what little resources he had available. After all, Jackson was going to need someone to step up and take care of the animals when he was gone—particularly the hoses. Even as his physical health worsened, he used every last ounce of strength he had left in him to prepare you to take over for him when he died. Thanks to him and all he’d done for you, you certainly knew a thing or two, but the job was still daunting, even after all this time of being in practice on your own without him there to guide you like before.

Keeping the horses healthy to begin with made your job a hell of a lot easier, but when a horse became sick or injured, that was when your knowledge and your skills were truly put to the test. Horses were how everyone traveled when in search of needed supplies, how patrolmen and women moved around while they were out and about on watch, keeping the community safe against the infected and against raiders. Horses were one of the most important resources the commune possessed. They kept everything going, everyone moving, and you’d be fucking lying if you said that being the sole person in charge of caring for them didn’t put a tremendous amount of pressure on your shoulders.

Sensing your doubt, Maria Miller often assured you that you were the best person for the role—the only person for the role. “The apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree,” she had complimented you over coffee at her place the morning after you had successfully removed a bullet lodged into the shoulder of one of the horses that had been injured while Tommy and his group were out on overnight patrol. They’d stumbled across violent and armed raiders, and luckily everyone had made it out unscathed with the exception of Tommy’s beloved black horse, Ranger. You recalled being pulled out of your bed in the middle of the night to tend to him, the first serious case you had to take care of without your father. Thankfully, the stallion’s injury hadn’t been life threatening, and you were able to patch him up within the hour. After just a few weeks of working with Ranger and putting him through physical therapy, the horse made a full recovery and both Maria and Tommy couldn’t have been more thrilled with your work.

Still, you sometimes continued questioning your own abilities, but it didn’t really matter in the end. Both Maria and Tommy decided to assign you as Jackson’s equine veterinarian, pulling you from your previous job, which had been helping Seth as the evening waitress at The Tipsy Bison.

You rushed into the stables, making a mental list with the names of all the horses that you still needed to check over for the day, including the group of horses that had just arrived back from that morning’s patrol. You made your way down to the very last stall which was serving as a temporary home to a stunning, chestnut brown pregnant mare.

“Hi there, Stella,” You cooed sweetly, beaming at the beauty. “Hi, my gorgeous girl. How are you doing today?”

“I would be a hell of a lot better if I could have one of those apples in your bag,” a voice answered, startling you slightly.

Peering around Stella’s body, you caught sight of Ellie laying down on a small bed of hay in the far corner of the stall. She’d made something of a pillow out of her backpack, and in her hands, she held her superhero comic book, flipping through it for what had to be the hundredth time. She offered you a silly, lopsided grin the minute she took a glimpse at the baffled look on your face.

“Ellie,” You sighed her name softly. “What in the world are you doing here?”

“Living my best life,” she deadpanned. “What else does it look like I’m doing?”

You tried but mostly failed, in hiding your laughter at her quick witted sense of humor. “Ellie,” You said her name again. “You can’t just hide out in here with the horses every single day, you know,” You pointed out, dropping your heavy satchel bag onto the ground.

“Wanna bet?” The teenager quipped with a small joking smirk as she sat up, tossing her comic book to the side beside her. Bits of hay stuck out of her brown hair, which she always kept in an adorably messy ponytail.

“Aren’t you supposed to be in school with the other kids?”

She rolled her eyes. “I already went to school. Back in the Boston QZ. FEDRA’s finest, dude.”

You didn’t know all that much about Ellie Williams—nor about the brooding older man that she was here with, Joel Miller. The only thing you did know was that Joel happened to be Tommy’s older brother and he acted as Ellie’s guardian. Initially, you’d thought he was her father, but Maria had told you that he had no familial relation to the girl, a fact that took you by complete surprise.

You remembered the first time they’d arrived in Wyoming during the winter, and by the following morning, the pair were gone, not to be seen again for several months until their return towards the end of spring just a couple of weeks ago.

Like everyone else in the tight knit community, you were curious about Ellie, and you were especially curious about Joel. You’d seen him around a couple of times before, but hadn’t had the chance to meet him yet. Still, even without having spoken a single word to him, you already knew he wasn’t anything like Tommy, or anyone else you’ve ever encountered, really. A man of very few words, he kept to himself, just like Ellie did. Still, Joel knew he needed to find his place and pull his weight in Jackson just like everyone else, and once he began working patrol alongside Tommy, he finally began engaging with other members of the town. Reluctantly so, but at the very least, he was trying.

Ellie, on the other hand, avoided everybody at all costs—everybody, that is, except for you.

Since their arrival, Ellie chose to spend her days in the stables. She’d hang out with the horses while reading her comic books or listening to tapes on some old Walkman she had permanently borrowed from Tommy. Despite a hectic schedule that kept you busy, you eventually started taking the time out of your day to talk to her. It had started off with light chatter about the most trivial things—how the day was going, whether or not the weather was nice outside, what had been served for lunch in the mess hall that afternoon. Ellie seemed almost annoyed with you at first, but after a couple of days, she’d quickly started warming up and by the end of the first week, she started following you around the stables, joining you wherever you needed to be. The girl had taken a liking to you, but she was still quite guarded and careful, as if she were still testing the waters.

You didn’t mind that, though. Little by little, simply by being kind to her and making a genuine effort to get to know her, you were slowly beginning to chip away at her layers. There was still quite a long way to go if you ever wanted the teenager to completely open up to you, but you didn’t mind that either.

You’d be as patient with her as you needed to be.

You walked over to her. “Listen Ellie, as much as I really enjoy having you around me all the time, you really do need to make friends.”

She blinked. “But you’re my friend.”

You couldn’t help but smile even as you rephrased yourself. “Friends your own age,” You remarked, tucking a loose lock of your hair that had fallen loose from your dutch braid behind your ear. “You know, my husband, he has a niece named Dina. She’s about your age. I could introduce you to her if you’d like?”

Ellie furiously shook her head. “No.”

“Ellie—”

“Everyone around here looks at me like I’ve got two fucking heads or something. She probably fucking will too,” she mumbled. She pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. “I’d have an easier time fitting in around here if I was a fucking clicker.”

Chuckling, you gently shook your head at her.

By now, you’d pretty much gotten used to her rich and colorful vocabulary.

You crouched down in front of her. “Look Ellie, I know how hard it is not to fit in with others.”

“You?” Ellie blew a loud raspberry in complete disbelief. “No fucking way. I don’t believe that.”

“Hey, in case you didn’t know this, I haven’t always been thirty years old,” You reminded her, lightly swatting at the side of her knee with your hand. “I was fifteen once too.”

“Yeah, and you were probably little miss fucking perfect, just like you are now.” She rolled her brown eyes at you in a teasing manner.

You slapped her knee again. “Oh, stop that. That couldn’t be any farther from the truth,” You replied, wondering where on earth this child had come up with the idea that you were free from any flaws. Perfect was the last thing you were. “I was still living in one of the quarantine zones with my family when I was your age, Ellie. We were living in the Alburquerque QZ for quite a while before it got overrun by the infected. They had schools and everything, just like Boston. My mother was a nurse, so she had the privilege of enrolling me in one of the better schools, a preparatory school—she had the hope that I’d become an officer so I could have a chance at a decent life.” You paused, noticing a strange glimmer in the girl’s eye, but when she said nothing, you continued on, “So I got the absolute pleasure of going to school with a bunch of kids whose parents were officers and important higher ups in the zone. And let me tell you something, the world may have gone to complete shit, but teenagers can still be fucking assholes.”

Ellie threw her head back and laughed loudly. “Whoa, I never thought I’d hear you curse! I thought you were way too fucking prim and proper for that.”

“Hey, I’m not all that prim and proper,” You countered, grinning at the way she continued to laugh. “Besides, spending all this time with you might just have me cursing like a fucking sailor by the end of the week.”

“Fuck yeah you will,” she agreed with a nod.

You grinned again, but when your eyes met Ellie’s, it faltered slightly.

Ellie hadn’t told you much of anything about her past, but one thing was for certain—the young girl had been through hell and back. You could see it written all over her face, even when she smiled and even when she laughed. The traces of terror, pain, and trauma were quite subtle, but they were very much present and in recent nights, you’d find yourself lying wide awake in bed wondering what all the poor child had gone through in her life. Thoughts about what Ellie had seen and who she had lost haunted you.

She was different.

What she’d been through made her different.

It pained you to know that she felt ostracized when you were willing to bet your life that whatever had happened to her, it hadn’t been her fault.

You hardly knew Ellie Williams and she certainly wasn’t your responsibility, but for some odd reason, you already found yourself caring about her, an inexplicable soft spot for her having found its way into your heart. If there was anything you could do to help ease her into this new way of life, you would gladly do it without any hesitation.

“So then,” Ellie finally said after a minute, looking up at you. “Is it alright if I keep coming to the stables to spend time with you and the horses?”

“Of course.” You rose to your feet and glanced at Stella. “But only on one condition. You have to help me out with the grooming. I’ve been really short handed lately and could use the help. Deal?”

She jumped up to her feet, eagerly nodding her head. “Deal.”

Joel dumped his plastic tray and used dishware into the designated bin before shoving his way through the doors of the dining hall. The air outside was still cool, crisp and fresh—but the temperatures were sure to get a hell of a lot warmer now that summer had officially arrived. Not that he minded.

He kept his sights fixed straight ahead of him, doing his best to avoid eye contact with anyone who so much as even glimpsed towards his direction.

People seemed to be getting used to him, but oftentimes, he still felt like an outcast. It was almost like he was some fucking feral stray cat that Jackson had adopted into its home, willing to tame him, but scared that he could start tearing shit up at any given moment if they didn’t keep a close eye on him. He could handle that, though. It was his Ellie he was worried about. Between the survivor’s guilt she’d been dealing with on a daily basis and the way she was looked at in the community by everyone, Joel feared for her. He could only hope that Tommy was right about her just needing time and that eventually, he would have the chance to give her the most normal life possible.

It’s the very least Joel could do for her after all she’d been through in the last year—after what he’d done, how he had lied straight to her face.

He fucking owed her that much.

Ellie deserved happiness, and he would do just about anything in his power to give it to her.

Joel arrived at the horse stables and made his way inside. “Ellie?” he called out her name. “Ellie, you in here?”

That’s when he heard her voice.

“Wait a minute, Stella is pregnant? I didn’t know that!”

Joel turned the corner into the very last stall and saw Ellie standing there, her small hand on the muzzle of a brown horse. In her opposite hand, he saw her holding a mane brush.

She wasn’t alone.

You stood there beside her, your hands planted on your hips. You wore a pair of light wash blue jeans that were dusted with a thin layer of dirt; the legs of your jeans were tucked into a pair of weathered, worn out brown riding boots, the soles completely caked with muck. Joel remembered you wearing an oversized, long sleeved red flannel shirt back in the mess hall, but it was now off and tied around your waist and you were left in a thin, cotton white tank top—the material fit snug on your frame, and Joel tried his hardest not to glance at the patch of bare skin that peeked between the hem of the shirt and the waistband of your jeans.

Christ.

It should have been a crime to be that effortlessly stunning.

“She sure is,” You replied with a wide grin. “We just found out about a week ago and believe she’s about a few weeks along. We’ll have a sweet new baby in a year.”

“What? No fucking way!” Ellie exclaimed, looking thoroughly excited, but bewildered by the fact. “Horses are pregnant for one year? Holy shit man, that’s fucking nuts!”

“Well, for eleven months,” You clarified for her, giving Stella a gentle, but firm pat on her neck. “This is Stella’s first one. We’re hoping for a smooth pregnancy that reaches full term, but sometimes babies decide to come a bit sooner than expected.”

Joel’s lips parted curiously, his dark eyes widening slightly.

He almost couldn’t fucking believe it.. Ellie hadn’t spoken a single word to anyone in two weeks and yet here she was, engaging with you so easily and so effortlessly, cracking the first genuine smile he’d seen since they had fed that giraffe back in Salt Lake City. More than that, he took notice of how Ellie was being herself, cursing up a storm and all, and you didn’t seem the slightest bit bothered by it, not like the other adults whose jaws would drop in complete horror at her use of such foul language.

Joel willed himself to move and stepped inside of the stall. He lightly cleared his throat. “Ellie.”

You and Ellie both turned around, glancing in his direction.

“Joel? What are you doing here?” she asked, her smile fading slightly.

“Lookin’ for you. It’s lunchtime. You need to go eat somethin’ kiddo.”

She held up the brush in her hand. “But we were just about to—”

He easily stopped her with a stern glare. “Lunch. Now. Go.”

“Fine,” Ellie huffed and rolled her eyes at him. Picking up her red and tan backpack from the ground, she handed you the mane brush and stomped out of the stall, roughly shoving into Joel’s shoulder as she walked past him without another word.

Joel glanced at you, a sudden wave of awkwardness washing over him. Just as he was about to politely excuse himself and leave, you spoke.

“You’re Tommy’s older brother, right? Joel?”

He nodded. “Yeah. I am.”

Stepping away from Stella, you walked over to Joel and introduced yourself, extending a hand for him to shake.

Your name was as goddamn beautiful as you were and it sounded heavenly when he repeated it, rolling smoothly off his tongue. He took your hand in his own and the contrast between the two was stark. Your hand was soft against his rough, small compared to his large, but somehow still an all too perfect fit.

“It’s nice to finally meet you, Joel.” Your eyes found his, meeting them in a way that made something inside of him that had been sleeping for decades now stir itself awake—come alive.

Realizing he’d been holding onto your hand longer than necessary, he dropped it and took a step back, lightly bumping his back against the stall door. “I’m, uh, I’m real sorry about Ellie,” Joel apologized to you after a minute. “I know she’s been spendin’ a lot of time in here. I hope she hasn’t been botherin’ you or gettin’ in the way of things. If she is, I’ll have a talk with her.”

“No, of course not. She hasn’t been bothering me at all,” You quickly assured him without missing a beat. “I’m usually in here alone, so it’s been really nice having her around. I enjoy her company a lot.”

“You do?”

You tossed him a puzzled, but amused look. “Is that strange?”

Joel placed his hands on his hips and leaned back against the stall door. “Ellie’s been havin’ a little trouble,” he found himself confessing to you. “Adjustin’ to life here and meetin’ people. She, uh, she ain’t like all the other kids.”

Your response was prompt. “I know.”

He raised his eyebrows—exactly how well had you and Ellie gotten to know each other already?

What all had she told you?

What did you know about her?

About him?

Joel tried to mask the concern on his face.

“I was just talking to her a little while ago. I told her I know how hard it is being a teenager and trying to fit it in with the crowd, even in a world like this one.” You let out a humorless laugh and shook your head, the ridiculousness of what you’d just said sounding sillier out loud than it had in your mind. “It’s even harder when you’re just so different.” You could detect the way that your statement triggered something of a negative response from Joel—the way his eyes darkened in a flash of anger and his nostrils flared slightly told you he didn’t take all too kindly to anyone talking negatively about his kid. Ellie being different was something that he already knew, of course, but hearing it from someone else wasn’t easy for him and it certainly wasn’t welcome. It put him right into protective mode and you didn’t blame him, not in the slightest. You held your hands up and reassured him, “There’s nothing wrong with being different, by the way.”

Joel could see the sincerity in your eyes that went hand in hand with your words and his defenses switched off almost as quickly as they’d switched on. “There isn’t,” he agreed with a careful nod of his head. “Nothin’ wrong with it at all.” He cleared his throat. “M’sorry, I didn’t mean to—it’s just that I don’t really like it when people start runnin’ their mouths ‘bout my kid, that’s all.”

“No need to apologize at all, Joel.”

As the seconds went on, he could feel himself relaxing bit by bit; taut and tense muscles that had been wound up for years and years were suddenly beginning to loosen up. All it was taking was being in your presence and talking to you. Joel suddenly understood why Ellie had taken such a quick liking to you. You were unlike anyone that either of them had ever met before.

You were bright and you brought about this warmth—a different kind of warmth Joel hadn’t felt in so fucking long. It felt like seeing the sun for the very first time after spending years trapped in a cold, dark snowstorm.

He looked around the stall. “So, uh, what’s the deal? You one of the stablehands around here or somethin’ like that?”

“Something like that,” You repeated after him, a tiny grin tugging at the corners of your mouth at the way he spoke with a heavy, but still incredibly charming Southern drawl. “I’m the veterinarian.”

Joel couldn’t help but chuckle. “Those still exist?”

“Sort of. My father used to be the veterinarian here,” You explained to him. “That was what he did for a living before the outbreak happened. We lived in New Mexico on a horse ranch when I was growing up—he started off as a stablehand and then he went back to school to become an equine veterinarian. When we got here a few years ago from one of the quarantine zones, he told Maria what he had done for a living before this and he was asked to care for the horses in exchange for a place here.”

“And you?” Joel couldn’t help but wonder out loud. You seemed to be quite young, you couldn’t have been older than your early thirties at most which would have made you a child when the outbreak had happened. “You seem a little bit too young to have gone to vet school before shit hit the fan.”

You laughed and the sound was like a gorgeous melody Joel could listen to on repeat for the rest of his goddamn life. “No, I definitely did not go to vet school. My dad actually taught me everything I know.” You spoke fondly of him as you continued to say, “He educated me. Well, as best as he could considering the circumstances and all. He gave me a ton of books that I could read and study from, but most of it was hands-on training. He tried to teach me all that he could before he died a couple of years ago.”

Joel suddenly frowned. “Oh. Sorry to hear ‘bout your dad.”

“It’s alright. You don’t have to be sorry.”

He peered at you, curiously wondering what had happened to him.

“He died of illness,” You said, as if having read his mind. “Cancer, we think it was, but we didn’t have the equipment for an accurate diagnosis. And before you say it again, you don’t have to be sorry.” You crossed your arms over your chest, tilting your head at him as you changed the subject and asked, “So how are you settling in?”

“S’been alright, I reckon. Real different from what I’m used to—from what we’re both used to,” Joel answered, referring to Ellie.

“I can imagine it is. It took me a while to get used to this place when I first got here too. It’s such a different way of life, especially when you lived under FEDRA control,” You empathized with him, sighing as you dropped your arms back down at your sides. “You stay just a couple houses down from Tommy and Maria, right?”

“Yeah, we’re two down in the brown and greenish lookin’ one.”

“I’m in the light blue and white cottage right across from them,” You informed him, your pretty eyes twinkling as you gave him a smile. “I guess that kind of makes us neighbors, doesn’t it?”

Joel’s stomach somersaulted.

If you didn’t stop smiling at him that way, there would be a problem.

“It does,” he managed to say. Remembering Tommy’s warning from earlier, he decided it would be best for him to leave—the quicker, the better because he was beginning to take notice of how fucking easy it was to fall under your spell. He pushed himself away from the stall door. “I should probably go. I’ve got afternoon patrol,” he told you. “I appreciate you spendin’ time with Ellie and bein’ so kind to her.” He gave you a small grateful nod and turned on the heel of his boot to leave the stall.

“Joel?”

He stopped dead in his tracks, his back stiffening ever so slightly.

The sound of your soft voice saying his name was sweet like pure, raw honey.

If he wasn’t careful, he’d become addicted to it—he feared he already was.

Swallowing harshly, Joel turned back around to face you. “Yeah?”

“We’re having this big get together tomorrow night in the barn that’s right across the way,” You said, jabbing a thumb over your shoulder. Through the small round window in the stall, he could see the very barn you were talking about. “We do it every single year on the first day of summer. We do it for the kids more than anything, but everyone comes out.” There was a subtle hint of shyness to your tone. “I’m not sure if Tommy or Maria have mentioned it to you yet, but there’s going to be a big barbecue, drinks, and even dancing. The whole nine yards.”

Joel had to bite back a small scoff of disbelief. “You serious?”

“Hey, the world might have ended, but people still know how to get down and party,” You joked. You noticed the genuinely perplexed look that crossed his face and giggled. “I know it must sound really bizarre. But it’s a lot of fun and it’s a great way to really get to know the folks around here. I think it would be great if you and Ellie both came.”

“Not sure if it’d be Ellie’s thing. Or mine,” he admitted, raking a hand nervously through his hair at the thought of it all.

“You won’t know unless you give it a shot, Joel.” You gifted him with another brilliant smile that just about made his heart stop inside his chest. Oh, there would definitely be a fucking problem if you didn’t cut that shit out. “Please?”

Joel hardly knew you.

Hell, up until five minutes ago, he hadn’t even known your fucking name, so how was it possible that he already found himself unable to say no to you?

He didn’t like the idea of having to interact with anyone outside of his patrol duties, but if going to this damn thing meant seeing you again, then he’d be willing to at least give it a shot.

“Maybe we’ll both stop by for a bit and check it out,” he finally replied, exhaling a sigh of defeat.

“Great!” You beamed happily. “I’ll see you tomorrow night, then!”

“I’ll see you tomorrow night,” Joel repeated, giving you one last nod before turning and leaving the stall.

As he left the stables, he couldn’t help but feel the way that the corners up his mouth were threatening to turn upwards at the mere thought of seeing you again.

Shit.

He was in fucking trouble.

Lyrics: Sun to Me - Zach Bryan

#LOVE THIS ALREADY #the majority of joel fics are so smutty #it’s hard to find one with an actual story #i love that this one seems to be different #super excited to continue reading!!!#joel miller fanfiction #joel miller series #joel miller #the last of us #tlou #fic recs

3K notes · View notes