#//vent

[bananahkim]

GOD

Is it just me or is r/svtfoe so annoying? Almost all hateful or homophobic comments/messages I receive come from this sub. If it’s about anything other than starco, it either gets ignored or gets rude comments. If it’s about tomco, multiple aggressive messages about how Marco can’t be gay and I should delete my art fly into my DMs.

Why do these people not understand that they could just ignore my art if they hate it so much.

#svtfoe #//vent #creating art for hours and hours sacrificing my wrists and arms just to receive this? no thanks #I’m now leaving the subreddit. I should have a long time ago #I don’t deserve to be in a dying sub made of trashy shippers like them

[m0rtisxfuchs]

I have no idea wtf is up with me I am going through the horrors rn. Identity crisis, drawing blanks when writing randomly, my physical health is getting worse but my mom refuses to take me to the doctor or has a freak out over it, I’ve been going nonverbal constantly, and I just. Damn.

#//vent #i think i need a nap

[damnedrainbows]

freely ignore, this just the broken rambles of a burned out autistic. or maybe my fellow autistics can relate

I am just so tired of not being able to do…anything a normal person can do. or even what I could do a few year ago

I just wanted to work on my niffty doll, but I kept getting disoriented. I only managed to wrap her armature today, and I’ve been at this for a week

I just wanted to watch tv while I did it, but the tv was piercing and the flashing was too much

the light I had on to work on my doll with wore me down and felt too bright, even with my sunglasses

I had to put on my industrial earmuffs but they’re so tight and I can’t wear my sunglasses with it on

I tried to work on commissions, but the fan from my computer was too loud and the screen was too bright even on the lowest setting

my ipad is even too bright with the lights turned down but i don’t want to go to bed. i donkt want to do nothing

i’ll never get out of this burnout. I feel so broken. what happened to the artist that churned things out daily and the rper that was drawing icons like no tomorrow? what happened to when I could make a doll in a day? now I’m lucky if I can make my own dinner once a week

did I really lose everything that I am? I’m just. forever a sensory overloaded ball with severe chronic pain that I think might be elhers danlos (and not fibromyalgia), and able to do nothing but curl up in my sensory swing

I want my life back. im so tired. I’m so new to burnout, so new, only two years into this discovery of me. i don’t know what to do. I’ve lived with this my entire life without knowing anything other than just being different, odd, and quirky. and now I’m paying the price for masking.

please…does any fellow neurodivergents/autistics have advice?

#this is a bummer post….sorry #sometimes you just have to cry about the not fun parts of your brain #actually autistic #//vent #//negative #(salutations flesh skeletons | ooc)

[arrietty-rune]

Sometimes i feel useless and annoying

#//vent #my vent art is... normal sometimes like this one so okay to rb but idk might delete later or removing the tags #i use a lot the wilsons as confort ch actually #idk sometime i feel like i'm not that appreciated in the fandom idk despite my heart know it's wrong #i think it just bc i overthink about some tawog artists that i enjoyed giving support for months but they never interacted with me #and for one of them their art and cute doodles helped me in personal stuff + brought me back to tawog fandom #and i hoped to make them smile with my art but.. yeah they just... don't care after these months #I get sad and disappointed that now they art send just... /neg vibes so i unfollowed them #idk i just feel guit that i made them upset for... unknown reasons #sigh i should just don't care about that and keep to draw dor myself #cringy or not #i'm mostly an optimistic person but overthink a lot when i feel anxious haha #i'll be probably smile and enjoy life again tomorrow #if ppl wanna talk or sending cute ask ye you can #talking with ppl help me to confort so feel free

[mages-pandoras-box]

Little Rant

I've been watching a LOT of Philza Minecraft recently in the wake of all the crap that's happening in the MCYT community, and now I want to make a Origins/Dream/Q SMP crossover with Hazbin.

I've got SO many timelines in my head already for many of the creators based on the lore of all of those SMPs, but I don't know if it's a good idea due to what's happening in the community.

Of course, I wouldn't have certain creators in the AU, but I do want to take some of the lore and good storytelling from the Dream and Origins SMP. Still, I'm hesitant because both servers are associated with MCYTs who have been revealed to not be great people.

I don't know if the AU I'm slowly creating in my mind will EVER see the sunlight; I just needed to get my little vent off my chest because I honestly still love the MCYT community - I'm going to see Tommy's show in April - and would love to combine two things that I enjoy but might not get the chance to.

#//rant #//vent #mun speaks; the mage

[yushandholder]

You know I really wish that at least if people wanted to believe adachi is an incel they could at least not erase his complexity

The fact that they always have to say "he's JUST an incel"

Like he's not meant to be extremely multifaceted and complex :/

#//vent #Just to clarify i don't and will never see Adachi as an incel. #And I know it's petty to take it personally whenever people mischaracterize him because I should expect it #But #I'm very #Attached to him #tohru adachi #persona 4 #Thinking that maybe I should make some kind of Google doc on my interpretation of him?

[thestarfilledsea]

Hey guys.

personal stuff has finally taken a toll on me these past few months. even after my repeated efforts to get back into the swing of things I fall just short of a rhythm.

In all honesty I got burnt out and didn’t have anyone to talk to about lmk. Even though I’m still hyperfixated on it, I’m taking a break for now. I’m not really sure when I’ll come back.

Thank you for your patience. I’ll try and come back with a more optimistic attitude.

#ella’s ramblings #//vent #?? #hiatus eraaaa #idk man stuff just fell apart for me recently and im exhausted with being the odd one out #so haha #brb ig

[bornetoblood]

Just jotting down some Wren thoughts here, I guess. This isn’t addressed towards anyone in particular it’s just something that’s been bubbling over for me for a while.

I know it’s pretty easy for cis people to not care about transphobia, which is understandable because it doesn’t directly affect them. But I wish that like, as a default, cis people could recognise how that transphobia impacts trans people.

Like mutiple cis people have expressed confusion towards me for cutting someone off for or being weirded out (or frightened) by a person’s transphobic statements or actions, or for caring too much about transphobia. I’m being real here when I say I have been mocked for noticing transphobia where cis people don’t see it.

And it’s just... frustrating, I suppose. Expressing a fear to a person and having it dismissed as something that can be overlooked. Maybe you guys can but that’s not really an option for me.

#delete later #if person i was discussing this with sees this you rock btw thank you so much for #listening to me talk #its just been bagging at me a while i suppose how cis people can overlook stuff that is prettty damn #terrible to someone like me who is trans and very aware of the way transphobes talk about us #i guess #i dont know just please please please listen to trans people #i cannot express how unsafe having to put up with that kinda stuff makes me feel sometimes #//vent #the rat speaks #transphobia #like obviously i get why cis people dont notice it or care as much but it is #just a tad frustrating #ABSOLUTLY compounded by the current state of trans right holy HELL

[your-mystic-nymph]

why do they go away, one point or another it’s bright and then gone like a match. I wish these sweet memories would just fucking go along with them sometimes. it feels like my heart gets ripped out of my chest when it happens and I’m stuck meticulously putting it back together afterwards. is this what living is? knowing then leaving behind and finding something again? I believe there’s a reason for everything in some way but even so it’s so goddamn painful.

Is it selfish to want reliability? I’m not sure it’s healthy but It’s hard doing this alone.

#//life’s feeling more sucky than usual #//stuff happening in my personal life #//vent

[radcourier]

Venting in tags ignore

#//vent #i am really really exhauated of the mental and verbal abuse im experiencing #and i cant even get help cause its my mother and im in a third world country #i just feel so unsafe #and i just dont have where to go

[bananahkim]

If I were a very popular artist in a huge fandom, I would hate people I don’t even know complain about my art and ocs. I would hate them complaining that I post too much, that my interpretation of the canon characters are flat and boring, that they’re sick of seeing my art and only my art everywhere. I’d hate it when they talk shit behind my back and directly towards me, as if I’ll never know what they say about me because I’m not a real person and just a machine that prints out art that they consume in 5 seconds and then immediately get bored of it.

#personal #toh #//vent

[tv-mind]

The reason I'm so batshit insane is because of my boomer adoptive "parent." Idk why me explaining things sound like lies to this cunt? Sorry the only person you ever believed was your sicko husband who abused the kids he adopted! Die you miserable twat!

#personal #//vent #Throat is raw from yelling

[damnedrainbows]

I fucking…hate Easter.

Apart from it being attributed to the religion that’s traumatized me, I’ve had horrible Easter’s.

One Easter I found out one of Canada’s most prolific serial killers killed my aunt—how did I find that out? I watched a dramatization of the events in science class c: YEP! you read that right. I was 13.

the Easter after that I had a huge friendship ending fight with two friends, the one after that I had lice, and last Easter?

biggest melt down ever which at least finally led to my official autism discovery journey, but still.

mom always gives us gifts on Easter and it’s nice, but the gift I want from her is for her to stop brushing off my autism. To apologize for acting disgusted when Nana suggested I had autism, and to stop brushing aside the research papers I’ve written her and look disgusted when I mention it.

….I don’t know where this post was going but fuck Easter

#I…probably won’t contribute to easter celebrations on dash #or maybe I will to try and regain that resemblance of innocence #I know what I will be doing is getting stoned today and tomorrow and the next #used to love this holiday #now it borders on ptsd #//vent #/negative #/trauma

[little-shiny-sharpies]

*through gritted teeth* don’t trust how you feel about your life after 9 pm or during your monthly hell, don’t trust how you feel about your life after 9 pm or during your-

#//vent #I feel so alone #whenever I’m jittery and excited and I gotta talk to somebody there’s never anybody there #usually because of time zones #everybody posted about how quarantine affected them but that’s just literally how I’ve lived my entire life #I want to get a shit job at Joanne’s I’m not kidding deadass I want to experience the mundane life everyone else but me has lived #I only go to town once every 4 months or so and I RELISH it. There’s a whole world out there. Look at all these people with lives as rich #and complex as my own. What I wouldn’t give to small talk with every single person in Fred’s and learn their passions and how they live #all I do is wake up feed clean and water animals that’s all I’ve ever done #I remember being in HS and loving lunch bc I could watch everybody laugh and eat and live #I never got to stay after school for activities bc my mom hated picking me up #I never got to go to parties past 10 yrs old bc my family was more important and they fucking hated me orbiting them #my family is all I’ve ever known and they don’t even realize how starved I am for contact #ANYTHING #ANYTHING AT ALL #ILL TAKE SOME OLD WHITE MAN HURLING SLURS AT ME I NEED TO FEEL ALIVE #I need to feel the bitter sting of life and live #and I don’t even have online friends to play with like yeah I occasionally talk to my besties on here #but I can’t bring myself to ask for anything more

[mages-pandoras-box]

Vent under cut

I want to write out so many ideas. But as soon as I get home, my brain goes 'too tired, no.'

I hate this. I hate being so tired all the time. I hate that my sleep cycle is fucked six ways to Sunday. I hate that I need more sleep than the average person due to my chronic illness.

I hate waking up between 3 and 5 p.m. on the weekends and having to scramble to fix my cycle by Tuesday because I have to get up at 7:50 a.m.

I hate that Tuesdays (Monday nights) are usually all-nighters because I haven't found a way to fix said cycle. I hate working from 9 to 4 with 3 hours of sleep or less.

I just fucking hate this.

#//vent #mun speaks; the mage

[shadowcatzone]

why is cooking so fucking difficult

And why do i have to imagine a certain twink comforting me. Like no, stop. I wanna be angry. You're making me smile and i hate it.

#//reasons why having a comfort character is problematic no. 1 #i'm eating gilbird #genshin venti #//vent #//venting