#( i'll probably delete this in a minute )

[slowlydiving]

just a random thought but: I just couldn't help myself and rewatched that first round when donghun received the 'top tier' rank and I have tears in my eyes now, but also thinking about it, it's noticable (almost funny) that he shows his vulnerable side there while so often with the members he has this tsundere facade of dry humor

but I think it's because they naturally talk more deeply and sincerely off-camera and because they can read each other's hearts even without it being shown openly; and because in build up he gives it his all and is vulnerable by default due to being judged

#like I said #just a random thought #donghun #I'll probably delete this in five minutes haha

[dcviline]

h.otd is really the only fandom where you'll have people calling characters "narcissists" for making choices with their bodily autonomy that don't entirely align with what society demands of them

#᯽ ooc. ⊱ ── ❝ 𝘖𝘩 𝘯𝘰 𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘔𝘢𝘳𝘪. ❞ #the amount of insane shit I have seen today besties #I need to scream in the tags for a minute so look away if you don't wanna see fandom negativity #(not about the rpc but about a particular fandom on a broader scale) #I gotta be careful liking art or anything from this fandom bc one minute I'll like a piece of art about characters from the show #and then suddenly I have the most batshit misogynistic insane bullshit takes I have ever seen in my fyp #this is part of why I side eye the whole team vs team approach because while it can be fun #as long as we are all in collective agreement to be mature and not fucking weird about shit #this fandom as a whole cannot fucking behave when it comes to women and I say that with my full chest #and you will see people justifying misogyny and homophobia and femicide and all kinds of vile things #to woobify their favorite Bad Boys or project onto the person the fandom has decided is suddenly the most tragic lesbian in the world #bc people are obsessed with proving their favs are objectively right somehow (especially when they're NOT) #you don't . . . have to justify every single thing a character does?? to validate the fact that you like them????? #if you don't have the mental maturity to accept that characters in this fandom often do some pretty fucked up things with no justification #you . . . don't need to engage with this fandom. at all. #if you can't admit 'oh this thing my fav did was super fucked. they were wrong for that but I still like them' #this is not the fandom for you #bc you will blink and suddenly you are spewing violent misogyny YOURSELF to defend A FICTIONAL FUCKING CHARACTER #defending r*pe culture. defending misogyny. defending homophobia. #saying women in the story should kiss up to the patriarchy and uphold it because 'it's the right thing to do as a woman' #fuck outta here #also saying 'it's right because that's just how things are in this world' is missing the point entirely #YOU are not a fictional character living in this world. YOU are the reader who is supposed to judge this BY YOUR OWN MORALS #also the amount of people verbally attacking a black actress for speaking out for her character?? defending her character???? #to the point where the show had to issue a fucking statement on it???? #lot of people suddenly so comfortable being racist pieces of shit all over some fictional white boys #this is why I try not to engage with h.otd side of the fandom (rpc excluded) as a whole #bc the amount of nasty behavior is truly disproportionate #I'll probably delete this soon I just saw someone pull the 'narcissist' card #and saw another person say some racist shit about b.ethany a.ntonia again and I'm pissed about it

[megabuild]

i realised why this is getting me so badly btw it's because. i made a post a while ago saying that last life was painful as fuck for me to think about but it was manageable because etho doesnt get too hard into the roleplay and just sort of chills and laughs and doesnt show much signs of distress when bdubs is very clearly manipulating and dragging him into this toxic ass relationship. okay well now imagine me making that post and ethoslab seeing that and going im gonna fucking kill this guy

#mine #like he ISNT but hes. UGH. #this is a billion times worse in every way. its okay though. im sane now. #if this had happened like six months ago i probably would have done something drastic. #once again i must tap the sign. Traffic is not just a Minecraft series it's real life and I was there #This post makes like zero sense sorry I'll probably delete it in a minute my head hurts

[fairytales-and-folklore]

.

#are you serious #did I really just spend the past month dealing with a horrible cold #bookended by two horrible periods #only to catch ANOTHER ONE this morning #this is some bullshit #I have so many projects I want to work on 😭 #personal vent I'll probably delete later but I needed to shout into the void for a minute

[hellceo]

i'm lowkey thinking about pulling all my spn muses off my multi and making a small fandom-focused multi as either a sideblog to this one or another blog?? cause ... i have all the spn muse but i suck at dividing my attention

#;; & let's go take a howl at that moon. ( ooc ) #( why does tumblr make sideblogs so inefficient #i wish they'd just function as normal blogs #having multiple logins is my Achilles heel to running multiple blogs #but i don't like that i can't have a separate dash and send asks #SIGH ) #( i'll probably delete this in a minute )

[sineating]

just got so lonely i almost started howling at the moon through my window.

#not to be crazy on main but i have not been in a relationship in close to four years and i do not think that's going to change #i don't have any accessible friends + all my friends have friends they can see and like better #and i just want to feel like i am important or i am loveable or whatever is wrong with me is not too wrong #anyway i'll probably be consumed by shame in like 20 minutes and delete this

[fevertowrite]

Still thinking about the storyboard scene that gets cut THANKS TO NICKELODEON, where Donnie gets beaten by Feral Shredder and his brother assumes he's dead.

#I say in sarcasm #it was one of the final battles and donnie ends up alive and comes to the rescue to his bros last minute #ughh #what could've been #I think I screenrecorded the scene I'll probably post it on here #but #fever rambles #deleting later but just in my thoughts RN #probably will write a fanfic for this alt ending idk #rottmnt #donnie #tmnt #also this was supposed to take place in season 2 battle #not sure if the final but it would've been badass either way #ok bye

[dandyshucks-moving]

woah rare other system part sighting lmao, here's a Guz drawn by not-Juno

#I was working with the base they laid out so I had to fudge some shit because they'd laid out the neck and shoulder weirdly RIP #like the head is too far over to the right lmao but I didn't feel like erasing a bunch of it to fix that #the hand behind the wrestling box corner thing is also goofed lmao #turning rbs off but Juno (Dandy is vaguely a cross-system name so it feels weird calling them that) might post the art later better #I don't know how they edit their photos but I think I maybe got close lol #this guys fun to draw tbh love a rough n tumble boy lol he's got the same body type as one of my OCs except Stasis is mostly a robot LMAO #dandyshucks #dandy doodlebugs #<- I'll add these just in case ig ?? idk Juno do what u want with this even if it means deleting it lol hope this is fine for me to post #ALSO THIS WONT BE A REGULAR OCCURRENCE LMAO I was just super bored tonight and happened to switch in during Juno drawing this guy #probably won't ever happen again lol #our drawing styles arent super different I think but also this is using a base they laid out so I would've done it differently lmao #maybe it is different though - apparently I'm not a good judge of shit like this bc they say I write and play accordion differently somehow #but I thought I was doing a pretty good job the other day of doing it like they do lmaooo but nah they said it was all noticeably different #I'm chatty tonight sorry lol been a hot minute since I've had any time in front but I'll scoot off now #💜so good at being in trouble

[reddstardust]

[wip]

I'm so tired

#i made these in 5 minutes #I'll probably delete this post later #but right now #it's late #and i don't care #👍 #wip

[slicesofapple]

i keep seeing posts about how okay biden is (the old lesser of two evils argument) and honestly it's pretty depressing.

here is a list of questions that frames this issue in a more helpful way (to my mind), and also an article on the even more important question (the one that I think is at the heart of it all): who benefits?

#politics #political #caitlin johnstone #i think i'm ready for the hate #or more likely the indifference lmao #but maybe not #i'll probably delete this in 5 minutes #but biden is just as bad a warmonger as his predecessors and putting your faith in him is so dangerous in my opinion #US presidential election #biden is awful #yes trump is too

[nicojoe]

.

#this latest screening report (in 'the old guard' tag) has me really wondering how that first screening a month ago must've gone #the fact that there was no previous mention of there being so many unfinished/placeholder elements #but now all of a sudden they're everywhere?? #it's been more than a year since the movie began filming there's no WAY they're still that far behind #(unless they've made a TON of last minute changes since the 1st screening...) #regardless of the reason... this does not spark confidence #this is a rant feel free to ignore #i'll probably delete later #personal

[cerbreus]

it’s been a hellish last couple months dealing with being caught in the crossfire between incompetent rental car agency that is mad at me and incompetent car insurance company that didn’t tell me the person handling my claim fucking QUIT and MY CLAIM WENT FORGOTTEN FOR MONTHS and it still isn’t resolved in fact things have gotten worse and tbh, when i have major stressful setbacks in life, my body and brains’ response is to just. not. do anything. just shut down. intense fatigue, inability to focus on literally anything because the background level of stress is so high.

#bro im gonna cry #fucking got blacklisted from one of the largest rental car companies in this country and it is apparently #impossible to get off the 'do not rent' list #whats making me more upset is that i literally called them the day the windshield cracked i got things sorted out before i even dropped the #car off and still shit is so far out of my control and now i'm stuck with all these repercussions that shouldn't have happened if my #insurance that i pay a hell of a lot of money for wasn't so incompetent #bro apparently even my ROOMMATES can get blacklisted for sharing an address with me #worse yet payment has been sent out but the company is still going 'fuck you pay me killyourself never talk to us again once u pay this' #i can't get ahold of the DRU person in charge of my claim on their end to find out what happens #so it might end up going to collections anyway which will perma fuck up my credit score which i've been trying. so hard. to raise. #being an adult is a fucking nightmare i want to sleep i can't focus for longer than 5 minutes on anything before i start getting that dread #its so frustrating i can't enjoy my hobbies i can't enjoy my work (which is going well right now) bc i'm so stuck on this i need this to go #away so i can regain my brain's normal functioning and yes i have anxiety this is the worst it's been in a while though #anyway sry for the venting i'll be fine it'll be fine my insurance WILL pay for this and things will be fine (probably) once that goes thru #not that it didn't add to my stress enough that my bp probably took another year off my life lbr #personal stuff #delete later i think #DO NOT rent a car without taking the damage waiver it doesn't matter how much it costs or if you have insurance just take the damage waiver #don't be me

[britneyshakespeare]

why does scheduling my work days give me so much stress and anxiety

#i was supposed to do my first day at the high school today but i had literally so much anxiety i could not fall asleep last night no matter #what. i had so much dread. i took so much melatonin lol. #i could shut my brain off till i went into the application and deleted my schedule for the day #ive just been feeling so fatigued and exhausted since i got covid it's crazy. sometimes i'll have bursts of energy where im productive #but yesterday i was just so tired from loading the washing machine. just. fucking sorting clothes and putting them in #that i had to lie down on the floor for a few minutes in the middle of it #not my finest moment #tales from diana #i didn't have anything scheduled for tomorrow and i thought 'maybe if i feel better tonight ill call in' #but i dont feel. super better tonight. and the only thing that i could do tomorrow at my preferred school is kindergarten subbing #for like the main classroom teacher. which i havent done before so i figured 'yeah im not gonna get my anxiety up 2 days in a row' #i deserve to sleep tonight after all and i think if i committed to that i wouldnt be able to #but i am going into my elementary school on wed-thur-friday of this week. wednesday is only a half day but they'll probably find smth for me #to do in the afternoon. they usually do. and im fine w that. #idk im just much more comfortable in my elementary school. i guess bc ive worked there before and i went to school there #as a wittle student waaaay back in the day. like i know the building and it doesn't scare me and i know a good amount of kids there #and the staff don't intimidate me. so yeah. #i did schedule my first job at the high school FOR REAL THIS TIME and it's next friday. hopefully ill be doing better by then. #im working the thursday before it at the elementary so i'll be in the rhythm of that. idk how to explain it but it's harder to go back #to work when ive taken a day off. like that's also why im not going in tomorrow. #friday (4/07) was the first day i worked since i got covid and that was fine but also. i was so anxious just to go in. #and so so so so tired when i got home. and all weekend. #yeah i wasn't ready to start working at the high school today. that was nonsense. #hopefully all will go well on wednesday thursday and friday of this week. im trying to restore my energy and fix my sleep. thatll do wonders #i hope. i hope i hope i hope

[dust-rats]

therapist: sk8 the infinity spike wheel isn't real it can't hurt you

sk8 the infinity spike wheel:

#i spent like 20 minutes on that #i'll probably delete this in the morning but for now i am subjecting you to looking at spike wheel i made #it's 5am #this image has like 12 whole pixels

[jaerie]

My general interpretation is you have the theater and public bed with women representation of what he puts out as a performance for the public, all of the women in the bed adoring him are us as fans (since a majority ARE women but there are some men scattered in there) BUT they’re all being less than platonic with the other women as a nod to us queers who love him but don’t want to sleep with him, the woman holding him in bed sleeping are also us snuggling and protecting him platonically because who wouldn’t want to have a nice snuggly nap with harry?  proven fact he gives the best hugs, him supporting us again as officiating the lesbian wedding, and then the very brief glimpses we get of his real personal life in the date scene with the guy.  

#i'll probably delete this in a few minutes so no one tells me im stupid #but i have a lot of thoughts on this

[konstantya]

Sometimes I really miss the structure of network television.  Like, yes, I understand it’s cool shows don’t have to cut episodes down to a strict 45 minutes anymore, but at the same time, sometimes having rules/guidelines you have to adhere to can be a good thing?

#i'm talking about stranger things season 4 pfft #like i'm enjoying it i really am #but i do wish it was paced/cut differently #like if i'm going to watch something on a weeknight it's typically an episode of a show #because i generally don't have time for a full-length film #but when your episodes run 80-100 minutes long you are effectively making me watch a full-length film anyway #and ngl i kind of resent it #i'm cool with something going 53 minutes instead of 45 honest #but when you start hitting an hour-forty for a single episode i start thinking you don't know how to tell an episodic story #(but then is ''prestige television'' really episodic anymore anyway? #like yeah there might technically be episodes but so many things seem built for binging these days #such that the typical story structure often seems lost from episode to episode #like you'll have a series that doesn't view/read as a series so much as a 10-hour film that's been arbitrarily cut up into chunks #idk this probably qualifies as an ''old man yells at cloud'' post lololol #and maybe i'll delete it in the future but i just had to vent)