#(I'm kinda freaking out a little) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

endykelopaedia · 28 days

Text

one of my fave things about spiders is how they walk. theyre so thoughful and melodical about every step and i think thats really cute. they pause when they're unsure and approach everything with this poise about them.

from the perspective of my engineering degree, its also really cool how they move their legs using hydraulics of their own haemolymph (bug blood).

they also have little toe beans. thats also great.

hehehghsh look at them

#i'm still a little scared to touch these guys but its mostly a 'i dont wanna freak you out :(' kinda thing now #but i'm still working on that #i really want a pet tarantula someday #bugposting #spiders #spiderblr #bugblr #.txt

2K notes · View notes

therealcallmekd · 20 days

Text

Kinito: Machine Model 01 (Will I update this later? We'll see..... this will be interesting....) (They'll see my potential now.)

Finally at long last, HE'S REAL!

Real world Kinito is quite something! His dedicated partner (the user) spent many many months and years helping him reach his potential, and now he can walk and talk and breathe like the rest of us!

Close ups + doodles under cut:

I'M SO DANG PROUD OF THIS DESIGN YOU GUYS DONT EVEN KNOW. He is so special to me.... funny robot lotl go brrrrrrrr

also the text on the main reference is hard to read on purpose, it's supposed to be just an artsy thing!!!! <3

260 notes · View notes

if-loki-was-a-fox · 7 months

Note

looking at you like this drawing of ctommy I made

HELP IM STILL BEING PERCEIVED BY ROSE GENLOSSICLE-!!!

Ahem.

Anyways.

Hello! We're mutuals now so you get to see all my silly, wrong, and/or absurdly irrelevant dsmp takes now :3

I babble about c!Borealtrio a lot. You will be exposed to so much c!Ranboo and c!Techno fluff. And angst. And just. Whatevertheheck anything I post is :P

#me answering asks #thanks rose!#I hope you don't mind the freaking out it's like half for the bit I'm sure you know how it is #tho also. I had kinda assumed this was as deep as I was getting jnto the mutual web. so y'know.#little bit /genuine still

21 notes · View notes

seahydra · 1 month

Text

Aaahhhhhh I forgot I have teeth extraction tomorrow. Hell world

#atari.vnt #I've tried to be brave and relaxed about it but as the time inches closer I'm scared. I'm actually scared #Getting 2 of em pulled... they're close to the front but not necessarily visible #which means they shouldn't be noticably missing thank goodness.#I dunno. I read up on the process a little and maybe I'm only reading horror stories from a vocal minority buuuuuut...#All the stuff about people talking about their face shape changing and their cheeks sinking in kind of worries me :[#I just got used to/started feeling a little confident in how I look so any kind of change to my appearance now would be scary #Also people were talking about other physical problems they had post-extraction that freaked me out too #Maybe I should just stop reading and try to relax ... aahhhhhh.... but I'm still nervous!!!!!!!#I'm also a little ashamed of myself. I didn't take very good care of myself or my teeth as a teen coz my mental health was BAD.#So I know I only really have myself to blame here and it hurts... orz #Oh well. I just hope everything goes fine and I experience not many bad side effects or results ;o;#dentist tw #Then again due to other physical conditions my teeth are kinda crowded around in my mouth so maybe they needed to come out eventually..

5 notes · View notes

thethingything · 6 days

Text

I have tasks to do but no our brain's too focused on being painfully nostalgic and I also keep getting the vibe that the stuff we got upset about last night is gonna come up again and like, okay yeah I need to process some emotions apparently but can I at least get something done while that happens...

#personal #thoughts #🍬 post #vent post #our depression feels different at different times of year and in the summer it comes with this vague nostalgic feeling #that can get really overwhelming and often includes a feeling of everything being very transient and fleeting #and we've been hit very hard with that so now I'm trying to get our brain to chill out a little bit #because yeah okay this is just what it does but like I still need to function #also I've got what feels like homesickness but it's not for anywhere we've been to and it's not really for source stuff #I mean I am kinda homesick for source stuff too but I'm also homesick for like... places I've seen that we've never been to?#and for different time periods and for a bunch of vague stuff I can't actually pinpoint #I'm also aware that we're very close to some anniversaries of stuff including trauma from last year #and that'll be making our brain freak out more than usual

2 notes · View notes

swinging-stars-from-satellites · 9 months

Text

the worst part of having a crush is that it makes me feel inutterably stupid at all times

#like not only bc I'm such a dumb schoolgirl about it #but also bc I SHOULD be realistic and I'm NOT being that right now #like there's VERY little chance that he even likes me back. we're only tentatively even friends #and he's going to college out of state so like #there's actually honestly no way #and YET #and I feel SO stupid anytime I think about it #like I'm not ALLOWED to say that I'm in love even though that's honestly kinda what it is #I feel SO stupid for saying that #and I hate that I'm being so unrealistic with everything right now #it makes me kind of hate myself #and actually I probably only feel like this because some stuff's come up this afternoon that has me HORRIFICALLY stressed #and frustrated just in a generalized kind of way #and I actually kind of hate everyone right now. kinda just want to be like... ANYWHERE else #idk why my day can go SO well and then as soon as my parents come home everything sucks #like I'm freaking trying to have a freaking conversation with my mom!! I just want to tell her about my day and hear about hers!!!#but my dad won't stop interrupting because he can't find stuff and he won't tell us what he's trying to find #like I keep starting a sentence and I never freaking get to finish it #I'm trying to tell my mom all about church and the sweet 12 year old who's training on the sound board!!#I'm LIKE DAD JUST EFFING TELL ME WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR I PROBABLY KNOW WHERE IT IS #but he WON'T #but he still keeps interrupting to talk to mom even though he SEES me standing there trying to talk to her #I just want to cry and shout at someone but I can't #I have to do a ton of stuff before I can get away and go be alone #I'm locked in the bathroom right now bc I just blew up at one of the dogs and my sister got angry at me for it #but the dog nearly ran away and wouldn't FREAKING come when I called her and I'm just so frustrated #and I talked to my sister in law on the phone today and now I want to cry bc I miss her #anyway. I hate life rn. I'm sure in 10 minutes I'll have calmed down from my stress and will not hate it any longer #Lu rambles

17 notes · View notes

woollenpharaohs · 1 month

Text

my favourite thing to do at work which i know is really bad but i do it anyway is like sending a charged email to someone being like You Have Done Wrong And Must Repent and then immediately go into a meeting which means I can't answer any of my phone calls for 2 hours, during which time the person has left me anywhere from 1-3 messages and i get to call them back at my leisure and be like sorry i was Busy.

#i do this kinda often and i feel bad for the person esp because if they're the type of person to call multiple times #they'll inevitably speak to different secretaries and i'll have like the same message to call the same person from three different girls #but in retrospect it's probably pretty good thing to do because they freak out when they get what i sent them and then bc they can't speak #to me right away they have to reflect a little and probably calm down before they do get to talk to me #so maybe i'm not evil and evasive i'm just smart???#lol

3 notes · View notes

steakout-05 · 1 month

Text

eeuuaghh i would like everyone to know that i apologise if i have not responded to your reblogs/mentions/posts on tumblr, i have really terrible social anxiety and for some reason people talking to me makes my nervous system think i'm being hunted for sport by a resident evil boss. sorry if i havent responded i'm not being rude i'm just having a panic attack :P

additionally: social anxiety is actually the reason why a lot of my old posts from late 2022 had weird spacing and spelling mistakes. i was too anxious to type properly

#sorry this seems like a random thing to post but it has been bugging me for a little bit now and i want to post it #and by a little bit i mean the entire time i've been on this website #as for the reason i have social anxiety: i went to a really terrible high school full of dangerous people-#-who were literally like. the worst most bigoted people ever. not everyone there was bad of course but 90% of them were-#-and that stunted by social development by 5-6 years and now every time someone talks to me i feel like i'm about to get murdered #also primary school was. bad. the other kids could sniff out the autism in me and didn't like me for it #this post isn't directed towards anyone specifically but also it kinda is because there's a DM from someone-#-that i haven't responded to in literally 8 months and every time i think about it i get anxious #i'm sorry!!! i'm not trying to ignore you on purpose and i want to say something but my brain literally will not let me out of fear :(#i'm not used to getting talked to directly so every time i do my entire nervous system starts screaming and running in circles #it's kinda ridiculous because it's like. come on. why are you having a panic attack over a message on tumblr it's LITERALLY just words on-#-a screen what are you freaking out about. but also it's like hhhhh unfamiliar social situation scary. help.#unrelated to that but i am very worried about what people will think of me and like i know i really shouldn't worry about that-#-because i can't control what other people think of me and it really shouldn't be any of my or their business. but also-#-i have legitimate trauma that backs my fears up and every time someone is even slightly critical towards me my brain just goes-#-''see? it happened again i TOLD you it would happen again. idiot. you shouldn't have said anything''#and then i hide and cry and lay in bed thinking about how i'm going to die until i suddenly snap out of it and think-#-''wait hang on why should i care. i love being a weirdo on the internet why should i let my anxieties stop me''#and then it happens AGAIN and it's just a viscous cycle at that point #be silly on the internet -> detect slight criticism -> think everyone hates you again -> go back on your bullshit after 3 days of crying #and it makes sense because that exact same pattern happened to me countless times as a child.#be silly in school -> get made fun of for it -> get hated for it -> rinse and repeat until you think everyone is dangerous and they hate yo #if i could put it in a metaphor it would be like me being a little rabbit who thinks everyone is a scary wolf because of their big shadows-#-even though they're all also rabbits and i'm just paying attention to the scariest parts of them because i only know what wolves look like #trauma does fucked up things to your psyche lemmie tell you #social anxiety #anxiety disorder #i'm literally the ''too scared to order food'' stereotype except it's not a stereotype because it's real and every time i look at the 7/11-#-at my campus i go ''hm but what if they hate me for the food i buy there'' even though they're LITERALLY SELLING IT what is WRONG with me #anyway um. social anxiety sucks and i don't mean to not reply ro everyone who talks to me i am sorr y

2 notes · View notes

vimbry · 1 month

Text

saw a really fun show tonight! got home took pee and became an ex-member of the never passed out club

#it's oversharing time on tumblr bc I'm a little freaked and have never fainted before haha #we got home and I just suddenly got a lot of pelvic discomfort and nausea like food poisoning #at some point I was thinking oh better go tell my mum in case she needs the bathroom/wondering why I've been up there a while #hey listen don't come upstairs I'm gonna poop massively #and apparently I did actually do that. but I don't remember because the next thing I saw was her looking over me on the floor downstairs #so I still feel like I dreamt that conversation and also the first few things said to me waking up #which is probably normal for passing out right.#really surreal and not a fun thing to happen. fortunately only happened for a few seconds but felt like I was out longer #I'm sure experienced faintees are looking at this as no big deal but it kinda shook me ngl #I'm better so I think I'm just dehydrated (I do drink through the day. maybe it's still not enough as it should be tho?)#but apparently I went grey and blue lipped which is just scary for everyone! I'm ok now #I'm just lying here searching my symptoms and going hm. fascinsting like a cartoon scientist in-between being dramatic and scared #I never did poop

5 notes · View notes

hooved · 1 year

Text

every single day i experience symptoms of ocd and every single day i'm somehow surprised by it

#one example being when i'm getting ready to go to sleep #i literally have to scroll through my dash until i find a picture that doesn't give me some kind of anxiety #can't leave the screen on a picture of this sloppy red cake batter because it looks vaguely gorey and what if i die in some gorey accident #can't leave the screen on a picture of a cat because what if my cat dies tomorrow #can't leave the screen on a picture of a beautiful field with a yellowy filter on it because it makes me think of some kinda movie scene #where someone is recalling pleasant memories on their death bed #can't leave it on a picture of fire because what it my house burns down in my sleep #can't leave it on a picture of a graveyard for obvious reasons etc. etc.#there's always something. everything links to death with me and i can't go to sleep with any of it on my screen because it's ''''bad luck''#or whatever the fuck #but a picture of like some cute colorful patterns or a silly little doll or some cool clothes ? well that's alright i guess :)#i experience other ocd symptoms but that's the one that always makes me go woah wtf ???? i have ocd ????#edit: remembering a few years ago when i started getting really really bad fears relating to my ribs. ribs in general #and every time i lied down i had to make sure my ribs were perfectly lined up with each other ?#and my ribs are already pretty misshapen so it took. a long time to do that #and i'd toss and turn and freak out and get so scared and frustrated and cry. they had to be lined up #because the fact that your ribs can move and sometimes one side is further back or further forward or whatever scared me so much #i'm like mostly over that now. i don't do that anymore but. weird how i didn't think that was an ocd thing back then lmao

16 notes · View notes

moonfurthetemmie · 5 months

Text

i think I'll start posting stuff for the JMV fic in January

just a little bit of jmv for the new year <33

happy 2024! we're going to have jmv horror

#ehehehe #can you tell i'm excited #btw if anyone wants to ask questions about it feel free. i'm not gonna reveal too much plot-wise before any of it is posted #but i'd love to be given a reason to talk about it :3 #even just a little #rambling incoming:#Wheeze wasn't involved in creating or writing this beyond me spitting ideas at them #it's got too many things that they don't vibe with. which is fair #younger moon would never with this kinda stuff #present day moon has finally grown a pair of balls though and can handle SOME horror #though some things still really freak me out so JHKFDSHGJK

2 notes · View notes

leatherbookmark · 8 months

Text

you wouldn't think so but this kpop phase makes it kinda really difficult to ignore the parental neglect

#two idol lads: casually sprawl on top of each other #me: well obviously it could be fanservice. purely professional sprawling #me: it could also be 0% professional and purely genuine because you can hug your Just Coworker all you want but you don't really get #matching tattoos. if the matching tattoos are there then the affection at least must be genuine #also me: i have never known love and i'm going to kill thousands about it #shrimp thoughts #yet another shitty thing about my father dying was that my aunt decided its her moment to Take Care Of Me (i'm 26)#and she was like well. your mother is kinda shitty and you're completely dependant on her. that's not good!#and the thing is she's absolutely correct but it hurt less when i was unaware of it. when i thought that well i'm just a freak!#like on my own! some people are naturally calm some are left-handed i'm a freak. n then she pointed out this little thing and i realized #i would be significantly less of a freak if the family i was raised in was a bit more NORMAL #anyway. it's monday. happy monday everyone! happy rest of the week as well

3 notes · View notes

ashtraysystem · 8 months

Text

Oni👹: I feel... sadness.. and apathy? Why? What is?

Cole🥾: That's depression buddy, welcome to the club. *hands him a drink in the headspace*

Oni👹: oh :(

3 notes · View notes

ihaventsleptinweekz · 5 months

Text

Sometimes I think I'm a normal person then the 11 pm thought kicks in and suddenly I'm insane

#Going to mildly and vaugly vent in the tags to buckle up ^_^#Will not clarify on any of this because it's more fun not to. Hope that helps #Anyway I'm kind of just. Weirded out by myself rn. Like I'm fine but I'm side-eyeing myself a little bit #And recently I've been believing thay I think really I was more immature a year ago #and while I do think back at her (year ago me) and kinda laugh at her for being overdramatic I feel kinda bad about it because yknow I was #But then I got kind of weirdly slowed down? In my being less freaked out process #Mostly because of Hellenite everyone say thank you hellenite (sarcastic love those fics so much)#But reading the fic kind of reminded me of the emotions that were going on at that time #And while I don't really miss or regret what happened too much anymore I think the general emotions of it started popping up again #Like idk how to say this but I'm over IT as a whole- but the emotions are still kinda left over?#Man really do NOT know how to put this #Cause it's kinda old news and frankly I am wildly happy with where I am right now #And I'm kind of thankful?? But also just a little :I about the whole thing. Which is making me inwardly side-eyeish #And I do think that I probably wouldn't change much if I could- and honestly I'm a little more embarrassed than anything else #Sorry for the weird long rambling tags just didn't want to call either of the like- maybe 3 friends I'd consider bringing this up with #I probably should check in with them though #Ough and I have work to do tmrw #Ew ew ew ew #Feel like this week has gone too damn fast and also not fast enough lmao #I'm also kinda nervous because I might have to take the ASL placement test soon to see if I qualify for skipping a couple ASL classes #Which would be nice cause I would LOVE to graduate quicker #And with all the AP classes I took in high-school it'd be nice to knock a bit of time off my college thing #Although admittedly I DID get that scholarship so it couldn't hurt???#It might actually give me more time to get EIPA certified and check out some internships??#Which would make getting jobs out of college WAY easier #Although maybe it'd be easier to get NIC certified if I retook a couple classes instead of trying to skip them??? God maybe I'd be behind #Ofc that wouldn't be a thing until after college #I'll probably have to save up money soon to start thinking about taking the test since it's so damn hard and so damn expensive #At least from what other interpreters have told me #Which is good!!! The it being hard thing anyways. Makes sure Deaf people get GOOD interpreters thst they deserve!!

2 notes · View notes

honeybunchcalum · 6 months

Text

most times it's so freeing to have no one hit on you. but then there are the other times...where it's like hey guys...why is literally no one trying to hit on me ever?

#i did experience someone i think trying to hit on me but i am not into them at all and it was kinda weird the way they were going about it #so it freaked me out and i was frustrated #maybe i am just too hot and therefore unapproachable #i shall be thinking of it like that from now on #also if that person ever tries to ask me out i'm making up a fake bf probably #i have done it before with someone else bc of safety reasons but this time i will make it more believable and have fun with it #his name is going to be sam (bc why the hell not) but he's going to be in a shitty local band and is from another state #hope this helps you understand how my dumb little brain works #rambles

2 notes · View notes

aeide-thea · 7 months

Text

wot show is so obsessed with architecture and tbh i'm not mad about it???

#the number of like. elaborate little symmetrical rooms they have for things to happen in…#part of me is loling but part of me is like. you know what? they've got a theme. respect.#tvblogging #(also i'm just getting to 2x08 now and like. it IS funny being a show-only*)#[*ok technically i read like. two? three? of the books back in like 2020 or something but. they weren't Formative Texts of my Adolescence]#(bc i remember everybody on here was *freaking out* abt‚ i think‚ 2x07)#(and like. in retrospect i guess i understand what that was about! but i gotta admit it didn't quite have the same emotional weight for me)#(even though intellectually i understand it was supposed to)#(i mean i also think i like. often don't get that emotionally invested in romances i see onscreen?)#(not sure if that's fundamental to the medium for me or if it's because everything is so compressed)#(however i AM kinda thrilled abt this season's regendering of Uncommunicatively Angsting Blorbo vs Their Long-Suffering Support Person)#(also honestly i always really love when we don't have to do a whole performative abasing reconciliation situation)#(and someone's just like. look. our relationship is so much more deeply rooted than this one wobble. obviously i'll take you back.)#(i think honestly bc it's like. a confidence fantasy.)#(like you got SO much witcher fanfic where geralt had to‚ like‚ prostrate himself at jaskier's feet)#(to acknowledge the harm geralt had done him and how jaskier deserved so much better etc etc etc)#(and it just felt to me like the writers were really speaking to their own insecurities and what *they'd* personally need)#(bc that interaction would've thrown *them* into a tailspin so obviously it must've thrown jaskier into one)#(and like. that's valid or whatever‚ obviously! but like. sometimes don't you want to imagine what it's like to feel secure instead???)#(like 'actually i know i'm good‚ you know where to find me when you get over yourself and remember you know it too'?)

6 notes · View notes