#(guy who ordered two hours ago from a McDonald's 7 minutes away only to have the dasher take a drop off pic and then steal the food voice)

[androdragynous]

maybe im coming out of left field with this one but I think it was better when "delivery driver" was a hired position for a specific restaurant and they were required to actually successfully and competently deliver the food and got paid for it and - this may be controversial - i think some random fuck with a car and an app and no consequences and no wage who can decide whether or not you actually deserve to recieve your food should not have replaced this system

#(guy who ordered two hours ago from a McDonald's 7 minutes away only to have the dasher take a drop off pic and then steal the food voice) #being disabled and being vaguely rural sucks ASSSSSSSS #patch me through to palaven command

[bloojayoolie]

Advice, Appalled, and Christmas: 因因西西图 5/3/2017 Easily the worst experience I have ever had with service and management and I can confidently say that me and my friends will never return to this establishment A few weeks prior, I had been to time and loved it so much that I wanted to bring some different friends out to introduce them to it. When I came the first time I arrived around 7, stayed for the band set, had some drinks with my date, and had a fantastic time. The next time around, I made reservations to ensure a seat for the band and agreed to be the designated driver for the night. My friends ordered a few beers and a meal, and I got a Diet Coke. After a few hours, one friend settled up and left. Shorty afterward we were approached by our waiter and a group of four men. We were told rudely (not asked) that we had to give up our table to this party of four and were to move to somewhere in the corner. In essence the request made sense. Clearly two people should be at a two person table, however, the server did not approach it politely, and it was the party of four who apologized and thanked us for moving for the first Very soon after moving, and without requesting it, we were served with our bill. My bill was a bit confusing- $6.00 for one Diet Coke. When I asked for clarification from our server I was rudely told that I was charged extra bc I had been sitting for a long time and hadn't ordered much. I felt pretty uncomfortable with this idea, as it seems a bit unethical to overcharge someone on the grounds of sitting in an establishment. I spoke with a much more reasonable female server who I was more comfortable with, and the problem was easily rectified. During the interaction however, our aggressive server came over and watched over me as I paid, shaking his head in disgust and whispering to the server that helped me. This left me deeply uncomfortable and I thought that I would let management know that we were not feeling the best about our server The manage approached me aggressively. I explained how things were handled and how displeased we were with service. She immediately became defensive and told us that our server was angry because he was losing money on our table, and that it could have been turned over four times by now. She told me they were a restaurant and we all needed to be ordering food, and that we had stayed too long without ordering enough. I was appalled that any manager would say these things to a paying customer, and told her we weren't aware of any of these policies and that she seemed like she was being quite confrontational. I thanked her for her time, stated that T didn't think that the conversation was going to end constructively and went back to my table, with nothing resolved actually saw me coming and Soon after, our aggressive server came with the machine, prompting us to settle our bill about 3 times within a minute. We were not ready to leave, as the band we came to see was still playing. After this, another server came to us and asked us to leave, claiming they had other customers that wanted our table. The party next to us saw this, and offered for us to sit with them so we could watch the last of the show. Then, something bizarre and infuriating happened. The manager/owner| came to the table with fistfuls of cash which she slammed down in front of me and my friend. She yelled that we could have our money back for our food and drinks, and that we needed to get out NOW, and she pointed to the door. We were appalled, confused and extremely frustrated. Interactions with people like this are rare, and hardly ever occur with managerial staff. I can't help but feel like there is something imbalanced with this woman, as such an irrational reaction was completely unwarranted and unjust Needless to say that will be the last time we ever go to I would advise people to avoid the the abhorrent service and management here. Good music is easy to find in dealing with the unstable owner. and it's not worth the headache of Funny 1 Cool Useful 3 Comment from Business Manager 5/4/2017- Hi the unstable owner. I already responded at length to the Tripadvisor review you had your friend (cute fake name though!), this is write for you a couple months ago. I assume that's what prompted this new rant eight weeks on. Glad you finally worked up the cajones to write your own review. Kudos! Once again here is my response: In the nine years publicly responded to a negative review, but your comments are of the "alternative fact" variety and I intend to defend myself. Part of me feels the pettiness of doing this, but a larger part of me needs to stand up for my staff and against the attitude of guests like you. Incidentally, I have also never asked a guest to leave my establishment (except that one guy who was puking on the dinner table at his company Christmas party, but that was for his own good). I stand 100% by my decision to do this with you and did so after I returned your money (all three dollars and fifteen cents of it) in full. You were rude, disrespectful, and above all, has been open I have never entitled Traditionally, when guests make dinner reservations, they are planning to, you know, come for dinner. For band view tables, we typically impose a 2.5 hour seating limit in order that other patrons can enjoy the show once the first wave of diners have finished their meals. More than 3 hours after your arrival, we asked if you would mind moving to a smaller table while we waited for you to pay since we had a lineup at the door. This was a pretty reasonable expectation since neither you nor your friend had ordered anything in over an hour. You begrudgingly moved, and we brought the bill. You weren't happy about not getting a free pop refill. You found a manager, complained, was apologized to, and had the second pop removed. Despite this, you then complained to the bar manager, then to me, about the "aggressive service" in moving you. I apologized for the fact that we should have been clearer over the phone about table times and dining and were in the wrong, but that perhaps that would explain some of the server's frustrations. None of these apologies were sufficient, and you let us know it. At 11pm, FOUR hours after arrival and 2.5 hours since anything had been ordered, you finally paid, then just sat and watched as we turned away table after table that came to the door. If you'd been treated so horribly why stay for hours afterward? Finally, my floor manager respectfully asked that you vacate the table to make way for other patrons. Instead, you then just moved over and intruded on another table. At that point l'd had enough. You were now inconveniencing other guests. I figured if I refunded your money, you would no longer be a paying customer, and I could then in good conscience ask you to leave. Which is what I did. Myself and my staff have put blood, sweat, tears and years into building this business in an effort to keep live music vibrant in Vancouver. We don't charge cover for our shows, but we do expect guests to have a basic awareness of the fact that we are running a business. I can understand that some people may not want to come for dinner, and I can understand that some people aren't big drinkers. But can't abide somebody living in such a self absorbed bubble that they don't realize why giving attitude over a three dollar bill is frustrating to service staff, and then judging US as being aggressive/unstable. Your server is one of the kindest and most generous people I know. The only aggressive one was you, and when it became clear to me that you thought it was your divine right to camp out for the evening and expect to be treated respectfully after being so blatantly disrespectful to my staff and spending three bucks, I asked you to leave. You're not at McDonald's honey. Did I handle myself as professionally as I could have? In the beginning, sure I did, but almost five hours in? Hells no. I was offended, irritated, and stunned that an adult would behave in such a childish manner. You can't come into my house and behave like that. I did not at any point yell or "slam fistfuls of cash" (how do you slam a fistful of $3? lol) but I did tell you to get out, and I didn't ask nicely. At some point, you have to defend your livelihood. For future reference,here's some advice on how to get free pop refills in restaurants: behave like a grownup, be nice to your server, and if you sit at a table for FOUR AND A HALF HOURS and order two diet cokes while enjoying a free show and then quibble over your $6 bill then you are probably going to be met with some frustrations by the time you have complained to four different people about it. Also, you may want to try an exercise called "self reflection" before hiding behind a fake name on the internet and branding somebody as unstable/imbalanced. Your behaviour was disgraceful and you should be embarrassed. Go take your pocket change and entitlement elsewhere. We're all good here, thanks! Trash restaurant cusomer

#funny #lol #humor #memes #meme #memehumor #dank memes #funny pics #rolf #lmao #Advice #Appalled #and

[welcome-to-mediocrity]

22/6/19 - 25/6/19

If you had asked me 2 weeks ago what my favourite holiday of my life was I would’ve told you the 5-6th of August 2017. Mainly for nostalgic reasons that was the weekend I went camping with all of my closest friends at the time. Shortly after that weekend though we all fell out. I’ve not had as close friends since. So it became a very special weekend for me. However my answer changed after the days mentioned above. Let me tell you why this long weekend is now the best days of my life, so far.

Saturday, 22nd June, 2019;

I woke up at 5:30am on Saturday because I was travelling down to London to see Billy Joel perform live at Wembley Stadium with my sister, Aimee. we are in love with billy Joel because our dad would always play his songs to us on the keyboard whenever I saw him. So it was a very special trip for us. My train was a 7 hour Journey from Aberdeen, Scotland to London, England. My sister was meeting up with me on the train half way there so I had half the journey to do myself. I met some interesting characters in that 4 hour period I must admit. A really nice couple across from me included me in their conversation after seeing I was alone. We played silly games they had with them and they shared food with me, they seemed like very genuine people indeed. The next was a lovely old lady sitting alone, much like myself, so I made an effort to talk to her (I normally wouldn’t do this but I was in a very good mood) she was a sweet old woman who was on her way to visit her grandchildren in London, she shared stories of her family and I shared stories of mine, it was nice. My sister then got on the train and we spent the next 3 hours talking about game of thrones, her life in Edinburgh and played silly games on our phones.**

**i don’t get to see my sister very often so we had a lot of catching up to do, which helped in making this weekend so special to me.

We eventually made it to London roughly about 5pm. The show started at 8. We got an Uber to our hotel, which was very nice by the way, we showered and got ready. When we came down to the hotel lobby all the taxis were booked up however this lovely couple, who seemed rather well off financially, offered to share their taxi as they were going to the show as well. We bonded over our love of billy Joel and spoke about the different shows they’ve been to and made small talk for about half an hour. They were a nice couple from Southampton. We shared the taxi (which they insisted on paying for, very much appreciated) and we made it to the show. We never saw that couple again. But it was the perfect start to a fantastic night. The Show itself was INCREDIBLE. everything I could’ve hoped for, Billy Joel played all my favourite songs of his and he was a just such a funny and laid back guy on stage, you could tell he belonged up there. After the show London was bustling with people it was actually a pretty cool sight. We got an Uber back to the hotel (after panicking because there was no taxis at all haha) and basically just collapsed in bed. What a cracker of a day.

Sunday, 23rd June, 2019;

We woke up about quite early as Aimee had a train to catch back up to Edinburgh, we made our way to kings X after having a somewhat mediocre breakfast. Her train was delayed so we had lunch at some cafe. She eventually caught her train and we parted ways. But not before she convinced me to crest an account on a website called ‘Tumblr’ so here we are. Thank you Aimee for a fantastic trip.

I made my way to Euston Train station as I was not heading home. Instead I was meeting up with all my mums side of the family (and a surprise guest, my best mate Cazi) in Blackpool fot my 18th Birthday! As I was waiting for the train I had about an Hour and a half to kill so I wrote the first post on here, ‘A letter to Dean’ it helped get my thoughts in order and I felt a lot more clear-headed afterwards. As I was boarding the train to Blackpool my other best mate. Ross, called me and we had a good catch up about what I missed the night before, you see, my third best mate (god I’m sick of saying best mate hahaha) William threw a huge party where a lot of people who had never met came together (the best way to describe it is like the endgame of parties haha) and a lot had happened, I’m not going to air out Ross’ dirty secrets on here but let’s say he didn’t have the best time or the most sober time haha he’s still dealing with the consequences today actually (1/7/19) so we spoke on the phone for about 20 minutes but then my phone was away to die and there was no chargers. This wouldn’t normally be a problem however my tickets, the only ones I had for my next train, were on my phone and I didn’t have any other copy. Big problem. I tried to make it last but 10 minutes before my train Preston (the changeover yo get my last one to Blackpool) my phone died. Cue panic. I flew around Preston looking for the timetables because stupid me didn’t check to look at the Blackpool train time as it was on my ticket. On my dead phone. I saw the next train and decided to just jump on. This was the wrong train. It was going to Blackpool sure enough but my ticket was for a later train. As the ticket man approached my heart stopped. I just had to tell truth. Or did I, just before he approached I read a sign that said ‘buy tickets online with our app!’ I was saved. I told the ticket man with the most believable tone that I had, in fact, bought a ticket online but my phone had now died and had no way of showing my ticket. He didn’t need to believe me, but he did. Phew. He explained that because he was getting off at Blackpool for a changeover anyway, he would walk me through all the necessary gates to get out Scott-free. I eventually made it to Blackpool and he did let me through by telling all the gate workers that he had seen my ticket but now my phone had died. He lied with me and I’ll never forget his kindness he truly helped me out. I finally got a taxi from the train station (Blackpool North) to the Calypso Hotel. All my family was there. Now it was time to celebrate.

We had a couple drinks in the 24hour bar in the hotel (mind you I was still 17 until the next day) so thanks to Mark who owns the Calypso for being a nice guy haha. We then headed to some casino/game centre/ arcade I don’t actually know what it was but it was fun, we played on a camel derby thing so that was cool we then went to Mcdonalds for lunch. We met up with the rest of my mums family here and headed back to the hotel after a glorious feast at McDonald’s! Haha

We played drinking games well into the night and as the middle-agers started dropping to bed around 1 us, as the teenagers there (me, 18, my two cousins, 17 and 21, and my best mate, 18) played until the day was new. Overall it was just the stepping stone into the best 18th to come.

Monday, 24th June, 2019

I was woken at around 8am with a Jäger bomb. (For those who don’t know it’s a type of shot) so immediately the drinking commenced. We got up and had breakfast as everyone was already up before us. They then surprised me with a couple gifts and a T-shirt with my face on it from YEARS ago. Mortified. in my recollection they began chanting for me to wear it out through the day but i’m dramatic so they probably just asked. I didn’t succumb to their peer pressure however and wore some new clothes i picked up at the shopping centre after breakfast. there was a problem however, one of the jumpers i bought had a stain on it. unforgiveable. After returning the jumper for money (they didn’t have a clean one I’m so pissed even now) we headed to Blackpool pleasure beach for the day, not much else to write about it other than it was a fun day with my family and Cazi, the memories will suffice. Around 3pm we left and the kids (cousins me and cazi) headed back to the hotel to change as we got wet on the Viking water ride. We met the family at a bar and the drinking commenced. Drink after drink it became blurry, fast. Loved every minute of it. We met an Australian and he became our best friend we bought 5 shots at a time which was the deal on at the time (5 for £5) and we got smashed. Lovely.

[rustyhyde]

D-Day and Beyond June 3rd

Today is a travel day.  Our plan is to travel by train to Portsmouth, catch a ferry across the English Channel to the Caen port in France, then a car/bus/mule to our rented house in Caen proper.

Being the Hyde’s/Payne’s, we decide to pre-walk the journey from the hotel to the train station. Google says its a 20 minute walk (1 mile).  We want to be sure we can do it.  After all, we’re a walking disaster of 5 adults/1 child with luggage traveling across cobblestones.

On our pre-walk, it appears that there are approximately one million steps up and down. ( London is hilly). With luggage, this is a non-starter.  Hannah, being the brains of the outfit set out to find a route that used more or less, ramps and elevators.  She was successful, though it might have added about 10 minutes to the journey.  The only problem was the “pee” elevator.  There was an elevator on our path that the homeless and/or drunks use as their personal urinal.  To say it stinks is an insult to stinky thinks.  The smell was literally breathtaking.  We agreed to making use of the “pee” elevator a game time decision. The picture below is the bridge across the Thames we take to get to the train station.

Our luggage for the trip is quite compact considering its for 6 people for two weeks.

We wake up and decide to go for breakfast. As it turns out, Londoners don’t eat breakfast at 7:00 am.  The only place open was McDonalds. Fine with me, frowny faces from the food purists.

Anyway, we make our way to the train station.  Yes, about half of us used the “pee” elevator.  I did not know I could hold my breath for 2 minutes and 19 seconds. Amazing.

We get to the Waterloo train station in 25 minutes. Way to plan, Hannah!.  As it turns out, it the biggest train station in London, quite impressive. Max, below, getting ready to board.

We’re way early but that’s our way of doing things.  I do think we were the first to board. I bought 1st class tickets ($5 more).  The ride to Portsmouth is about 2 hours and is a lovely ride.  I’ll post a separate video of it.

We arrive at Portsmouth and we’re about 2 miles from the ferry port. It a five minute taxi.  Again, we are WAAAAY early. There are maybe 10 people ahead of us for a 2,500 person ferry.  When I say ferry, I mean something akin to a cruise ship.  It has three restaurants, entertainment, shops, and all the fixins of a regular cruise ship.

I’ve said this before, but I do feel like Forest Gump when I travel.  I end up in some amazing situations with really interesting people.  This Ferry ride happen to have a bunch of WWII vets who fought on D-Day.  I met one of them. He earned the Victoria Cross, the UK’s highest military honor.  See Below.

Because of the vets we had a send off with a British frigate and other vessels.  I’ll post a video of that as well. During the cruise, they had a wreath laying ceremony for all the fallen soldiers. Quite moving.

The sailing was uneventful. We had a great dinner with wine and super conversation.

The approach to the beaches and port was stirring. I imagined what the allies thought and felt this time 75 years ago.  Tough.

Once we docked, all hell broke loose.  It was a mad dash off the ferry and into the cruise station.  Once off the boat, we had to board buses to take us to the cruise station.  They jammed us in there like sardines.  Welcome to France.  Once we arrived at the cruise station, we tried to arrange transportation to the house about 15 miles away.

Guess what.  Caen taxis don’t actually work.  You call, they don’t answer.  They show up, but they are waiting for someone else.  They have one Uber driver for all of Caen.  The buses weren’t running.  In all, a transportation disaster of 2,500 looking to leave the terminal.  We spent over an hour trying to get something to take us to the house in Caen.  Emma was working her french, Hannah and Liz working the phones, and me working the counter.  The desk lady said she could call a taxi but said she didn’t think they would show up.  I asked why the buses aren’t running.  She said, “this is France”. After an hour and a half, Emma called the guy we were renting the house from and asked if he could help.  He did. He found a taxi and they showed up having room for four people.  Another taxi was called and Andy and I waited.  A vehicle shows up and we get in and head to the house.  

On the way to the house, Emma calls me on the phone and asks if we are alright.  I said yes and why do you ask?  She said that her taxi driver said we didn’t get into an official tax and that that guy may kidnap and kill us!  Her taxi driver was on the phone with the police to get us assistance! I asked our driver straight up if he was a taxi and he said no. He said he was an Uber. Funny, I didn’t order an Uber. Emma wanted to stay on the phone with us until  a) the police arrive or b) we make it to the house.  Emma, overheard the conversation the driver had with the police. Apparently, the police weren’t getting too balled up over it.

We both make it to the house at the same time.  Both drivers jump out and start screaming at each other.  Pushing ensued.  We quickly made our way into the house. In the end I think it was a matter of the taxi folks hating on the Uber folks, a mini war if you will.  What’s even crazier is that the taxi guy showed back up to house around midnight and talked to us over the intercom about the other guy. I quickly shut down the conversation.  

What a day.

[shmittywerbenjagermanjenson]

Lol ok

So in honor of both Valentine’s Day and me finding out that the Actual Nazi I went on a date with a while ago was sentenced to 9 more years in prison, here’s a compilation of the complete dumpster fire that is my dating life. None of these are really long enough to make full stories, but are all gems that help summarize why my love life plan for the past 6 months has been to “die alone on a roof top wearing black surrounded by crows.”

If you think one of these points is about you, never underestimate the stupidity of men. But also it’s probably about you.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-A guy who invited me over to hang out and when I got there said, “We can only hang for a little bit, my sister’s coming over soon”

-An ex who wouldn’t let me come over to his house for the longest time. When I finally did, I learned that it was because essentially the entire house was being renovated and nothing worked. Only the left half of the fridge worked. Everything in the bathroom looked like it was stained with blood/rust/bodily fluids. There were multiple large holes in the floor so you could see straight through to the basement.

-I cleaned an ex’s room and it took four days. I found multiple bras and panties of varying sizes, a pair of leggings, and a woman’s jacket. In the process, the ex held up a thong and said, “Oh, you left this here,” to which I replied, “Uh... that is........ Not Mine”

-A guy who, while eating froyo with my best friend and I, said that he didn’t drink or do drugs, but did do cocaine “on the weekends”

-Same guy thought the wage gap was made up by the liberals

-A guy I had to bring to work with me once because I forgot I had work (I was a dorm receptionist with rotating shifts) until my coworker called and asked where I was and he didn’t have a car

-A guy who told me he was schizophrenic after knowing him for two days. He also kept calling me at 8 am to see if I wanted to get breakfast. I am never awake at 8 am. Good news is he left his belt at my house, so now I have a belt to wear at work

-A very white guy who texted me a picture of him at the gym saying he was going “greek god mode” that called me “lioness.” When I stopped texting him back he said, “Ok, ain’t nuthin but a G thang then.”

-He also told me Africa (the song) brought him down because he thought about how he wanted to sing it with me at karaoke

-A guy I’ve never met that just keeps sending me snapchats of him sighing in the early hours of the morning

-A guy who texted me at 2 am to come to Denny’s. when I texted him and said, “I’m not driving 20 minutes to go to Denny’s at 2 am” he replied, “Uber”

-A guy who had a fish tank filled with eels i think?

-A guy I invited over specifically because my roommate wanted me to. He [roommate] ran around cleaning the place, giving me wine, and spraying perfumes on me in preparation while I sat on the couch watching and enjoying the spectacle.

-The guy was on our rival school’s tennis team and got three hours of sleep the night before his match. You’re welcome, FSU tennis team.

-Made out with a cruise ship comedian once on the ship’s deck. It was fine, I just thought that was a funny sentence.

-A guy who’s last name was “Cumming.”

-A guy who followed me on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, bought one of my paintings, and sent me flowers all after our FIRST DATE

-The guy got mad when I wasn’t interested in him and texted me an angry review of our date ranking me a “7/10″ but the points he sent actually added up to a 9/10

-An ex who took me on a “nice birthday dinner” to a “small, family-owned restaurant” called  Bucca di Beppo

-An ex who ate almost exclusively ramen and spaghettio’s

-An ex who’s Pub Sub order was essentially chicken tenders, a ton of cheese, and multiple different types of mayo

-A guy I legitimately dated for three months who was genuinely surprised that I wanted to be in a relationship with him at the end of the three months

-On a double date at a buffet with my best friend and her boyfriend, the friend’s boyfriend at the time said he was both “impressed and disgusted” by the amount of food me and my guy friend ate. He said it was better than TV and kept encouraging us to eat more.

-One of my old teacher’s assistants matched with me on tinder and then asked me to help him fix his profile so other girls would like him (it worked, I’m great at fixing guy’s dating profiles)

-A guy who’d spent all night flirting with me at a frat party and then slammed his head into a ceiling fan on high  while recreating the parkour scene from The Office

I then had to spend the rest of the night holding a frozen bag of peas to his head

-A guy who I danced with at a party once and was afterward quoted saying, “I realized what a huge mistake I’d made when they turned on the lights”

-A guy who invited me over for brunch… and then made me cook him brunch. He then realized his bike had been stolen.

-This has actually happened a bunch of times. The guys inviting me over for brunch and then making me cook thing, not the stolen bike thing

-A guy who insisted on doing all of his grocery shopping at Whole Foods and then complained about finances

-Multiple times I’ve taken screen shots of conversations with guys and then accidentally sent them back to the guy instead of the friend I meant to send them too

-A guy who had a built in nook in his bedroom, but instead of having books (or normal things) on the shelf it was just… peanut butter. Like literally seven jars of peanut butter. And a few boxes of pasta.

-A guy I dated specifically because I liked his dog

-I told one of my ex’s that they were the best thing that had ever happened to me and a few months later he got drunk and told me that it was “the most awkward moment of his life”

-A guy who asked me what it would take for me to go on a date with him and i replied, “40 pineapples”

-I cooked dinner for a guy once and his roommate came in, ate a bunch without asking, and then complained because it was spicy and he didn’t like spicy food (????)

-The same guy thought I didn’t catch on to the fact that he was talking to his “friend” from college while also dating me. He started dating her instead of me but she dumped him and now we’re friends

-My prom date, who made plans to go with me as friends and then later in the day had a girl ask him to be her date VERY publicly so he had to say yes. At the actual prom, she showed up like two hours late and then ditched him so he ended up coming up to me and said “well… looks like you’re my date again”

-A guy who showed up at the karaoke bar I was at and BELTED out Stacy’s Mom and then came over and introduced himself as my date

-An adult who had an enormous collection of Pokemon cards who still competes in Pokemon tournaments

-An ex told me once about the famous shot at his local bar (that he had frequently) that was called “parrot shit” that was just TEQUILA AND MAYONNAISE

-A guy who wasn’t taking hints that I wasn’t in to him. Our date ended and I went to hang out with friends… and he followed. He told me he was super happy that I was so eager to “introduce him to my friends.” My friends asked me how the date was and I said, “Oh it was really boring, he just won’t leave.”

-A guy who I ran in to after we stopped dating. He’d started wearing earrings so I asked if he’d always had his ears pierced. He said, “Why, do they look bad??” and didn’t pick up that my “……………………no” was actually a yes.

-A guy who was lying in bed next to me, who when asked (by me) if he wears his glasses while he sleeps replied, “No, but I do fuck in them”

-A guy who travels around and gives speeches on the negative effects of watching porn

-One time I tweeted my conversation with a guy because it was funny but I forgot that he followed me on twitter

-That whole-ass nazi story

-A friend who’s not single who went on an angry rant that I wouldn’t hypothetically date him because he’s “too short”

-Multiple guys that I haven’t really been interested in but my friends have made me keep around so they can be on our bingo team

-An ex took me to Qdoba on Valentine’s Day because they have a BOGO burrito deal if you kiss someone at the register. He ate both burritos by himself while I watched, and this is still the nicest thing a guy’s done for me on Valentine’s Day

-It is also the only thing a guy’s done for me on Valentine’s Day

-An ex who got in a legitimate argument with me because he wanted to keep his cardboard cutout of the Dos Equis man in our LIVING ROOM and didn’t understand why I was mad

-A guy who lived kind of far away who offered to meet somewhere halfway to pick me up. His suggested meeting place was called something like “Big Daddy Liquor”

-A guy who hit on me in a Walmart once and then awkwardly left when my best friend came over and he thought I was dating her

-Multiple shorter men hitting on me by telling me they want to “climb [me] like a tree”

-Once dated a VERY christian guy who got a nosebleed during our first kiss (because he was so nervous about sinning)

-When one of my ex’s moved in with me, I discovered that he didn’t “trust the banks” and kept his money in a similar manner to Mr. Krabs (AKA cash hidden in his bedroom). We didn’t last long after that.

-Same guy’s big money making idea was to have a food truck named KFC. He never understood (despite my multiple attempts) why that wasn’t a viable career option

-A guy who expressed extreme interest in me and said he’d travel to see me, to which I replied: “Neat”

-An ex who was nicknamed “The Janitor” because he wore his keys on a carabiner on his belt. The belt was usually holding up khaki pants with a button down shirt tucked in. His other nickname was “McDonalds Manager” because if he put on a headset it’s what he looked like

-An ex who’s FAVORITE RESTAURANT WAS GOLDEN CORRAL

-A guy who told me that I was significantly more intelligent and funny than he anticipated (thanks??)

-A guy I went on a date with like two years ago. The date was totally normal but I left my sweater in his car. I matched with him again recently on a dating app and asked him if he still had my sweater. He said, “Is this the only reason you matched with me?”

-I didn’t get my sweater back

[lookatthedawn]

Leaving These Shores...

Tuesday, May 30th, 2017.  What a glorious day! Katrina is taking me to JFK airport in New York.  Trisha and JeanLuc, Daisy and Maggie are coming too.  I intend to finish two books on the way, which were things on my "Before Leaving" list that I was unable to do. I finish The Shoemaker's Wife and rush through the last pages of  Buddha and The Borderline.  There are only 10 pages left when we arrive at the airport and I have to go.  I'll definitely borrow it from the library again as soon as I get back.   Katrina is a beautiful driver.  Even more so when she is driving my economic Prius.  JeanLuc, Trisha, Daisy, and Maggie are excellent sleepers.  Really, I have pictures to prove it.  Arriving at JFK I recognize a beautiful woman being picked up by a black car.  When she looks at our direction I see that it’s Cindy Crawford!  She has a pleasant, down-to-earth demeanor, and an easy smile on her face. 

There are no tears at the airport because this is a joyous occasion. I'm living a dream!

Okay, a little problem: Just because my flight stops on Canadian territory, I must get Canadian authorization to board the plane.  That's because I'm Brazilian, traveling with a Brazilian passport. The whole process is done online and takes about forty-five minutes, cost me $7 and is valid for the next five years.  I think of Trudeau and pay with a smile on my face hoping he does some good with my money.   I don't even leave the plane in Vancouver, I just watch as it vomits most passengers but immediately fills its belly again.  Only the menu has changed, from Western to Eastern.  Passengers are speaking in different Oriental languages, none of which I can understand.  The flight attendants also speak Chinese (I guess), but they know enough English to remind me to order vegan meals twenty-four hours before departure next time. For this flight, I'll have the fruit salad and the bread. Hold the butter. Thank you!   For the next fourteen hours, I try to sleep.  Not being particularly successful, I give it up and read instead.  I (finally) finish The Warrior Woman and then sleep precious little, waking up often, before we land in Hong Kong.  I'm not ready, but planes usually are ready to land before I am.  Besides, I have a long layover in Hong Kong to which I'm not exactly looking forward.  All I want is to get some sleep, so I decide to get to my gate and wait until the time to board the plane to Vietnam.   Well, that's how naive I am.  My flight hasn't even been assigned a gate and they are not exactly in a hurry to do so.  Lack of sleep is getting to my head and I am deeply confused about the time.  Of course, I have World Clock on my phone, but when I start doing the math, taking into account the time I left Massachusetts, then New York, then Vancouver, then Hong Kong... I end up confused about how long had it been since I left home.  Here it's the morning of June first.  So, where did May 31st go?  Oh, yes I'll get that half day back when I return.  Good, I can use it. So, here I am, Hong Kong, June 1st.  The airport is packed.  I exchange money, turning a few dollars into millions of Vietnamese Dong.  I realize that until now I have taken the American perspective about wealth, thinking that in order to be a millionaire I had to have millions of dollars!  That's an absurd notion.  The word is "millionaire", people, not dollarnaire, or milliondollanaire.  If I have a million I'm a millionaire, and that's just what I have become in Hong Kong.  All it took was cross the Pacific to turn me into a millionaire many times over.  Had I known that, I'd have done that long time ago.  Well, now I know and so do you, that sometimes it's just silly to live by the notions of our own culture without seeing what else is out there.   I realize I should have exchanged some US Dollars into HK Dollars, but didn't think of that.  I charge my laptop and phone, connect with friends and family, and spend some time writing.  I'm suddenly terribly hungry and since I still haven't exchanged money, I use a credit card to eat some rather nice Hong Kong noodles.  There's a McDonald's in the HKIA, but I didn't come all this way to eat at McDonald's. The HKIA is huge and modern and they are still building around, possibly to expand it.  It's also busy with mostly Asians but enough Westerns to warrant the existence of places like Starbucks, Victoria Secret, and Seven Eleven.  Many airport workers are wearing anti-pollution masks. Pollution doesn't seem to be a problem in the airport per se so I ask a lady why she is wearing a mask and she replies, in broken English, 'many people sick'.  There isn't an epidemic or anything, but she sees people from all over the world and that exposes her to all kinds of viruses.  It makes sense. Most people at the HKIA speak English, at least a little.  There are a lot of teenagers traveling in groups. Some are color-coordinated and have some things written in their t-shirts that suggest an organization is behind their traveling experience. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that it's only two weeks before the end of the academic year or maybe they are coming back from a Dragon Boat Festival somewhere. They are no different than most American teenagers, they giggle a lot and take a million selfies, together and separated. They also have a great attitude; nobody seems tired, hungry or sleep deprived.   About two hours to board I decide to ask help.  I am told that Vietnam Airlines, the one I'm traveling with, operates from the other side of the terminal.  I am directed to take the train, turn this way and that, take the escalator and I will see the gate.  I do as I am told but don't find the gate.  I decide to ask for more help and am told to go back to where I was.  That was a train ride and three more escalators plus a lot of walk with all my luggage.  Did I mention the lack of sleep? At least I'm no longer hungry! Back to where I originally was, I ask help from the efficient-looking attendant who told me the gate would probably be assigned within the next half hour.  And it is.  She tells me where it is, and although it is a long way away, it is the right one.  A rude guard tells me "we're not boarding yet, take a seat over there!" and I do. Sometimes I let people be rude to me.  Only very rarely do I talk back.  It might not be very kind of me, but most of the time I let them live with their own rudeness.  I walk away and all they can remember is their own voices, not mine.  Sometimes I pity them because they must be an awful company to themselves. Anyway, there is a guy speaking in Portuguese on the phone and I want to say hello but he is talking earnestly to the person on the other end and I decide not to interrupt such passionate dialogue.  We are called to board and get in line but don't board right away.  They just want to see if we know how to queue.  I think we pass the test.  A guard came looking at all passports and boarding tickets.  He examines my ticket, checks my Brazilian passport, and tells me to go to the counter, where I am told that I can go on the business line.   I don't know why, because both lines go to the same place, namely, a bus.  I am surprised.  Nobody told me anything about riding a bus from Hong Kong to Hanoi, so what's going on?  The business line goes first, but there are no seats in this bus anyway, and then economy class comes and we are full.  This is all very unrefined, which is a stark contrast to the upper level of HKIA, with its Chanel and Calvin Klein stores.  It was unbearably hot inside the bus, and we just stand there, nicely packed under the 80+ Hong Kong weather.  The wait isn't long, it only seems so. The bus takes us to a point in the middle of the terminal where a small plane awaits.  We are quickly escorted in and fly to Hanoi in little over two hours.  The plane is small and simple, but even with such a short flight, they offer a nice meal.  The Vietnamese staff is also very pleasant, so I decide right then that I will like Vietnam.

#JFK #HKIA #Vietnam #traveling #internship #cindy crawford

[elevenhoursinfront-blog]

9th April 2017

Again, rubbish nights sleep. The new guy in our room speaks very little English. I think this is his first time in a hostel because he asked where he gets changed and hangs his washing... We said we don't mind where you change and his face was mortified. We suggested the toilet in that case. We also said on your bed frames for the washing... He now has his man knickers hanging on a hanger off his bunk. He folds them up and puts them away neatly. He also has his shoes in buckets. Nothing touches the floor. Not sure if he's OCD. Either way, we aren't going to get along. He keeps on turning the fans off and shutting the windows. It's far too hot and I'm getting annoyed. He turned one fan off by my head about midnight last night, so I waited until he was in his top bunk before turning it back on. Around 0200, I had to open the windows. People forget there's 6 bodies in a small room for 8+ hours. It gets smelly. Fresh air is nice. Besides, you can do a lot more when you're cold rather than hot. Put PJ's on, use your sheet and duvet. Not make this room a smelly sweat box. Around 0300, I woke up from a gory nightmare. It was the oddest thing I have ever experienced though. I was clearly extremely tired but half awake and asleep? I was about to be slaughtered in my nightmare but I knew it was a dream and woke myself up. Is that possible even though I was asleep? I couldn't keep my eyes open as I was too tired and kept falling asleep back into the same nightmare. This went on for what felt like 30 minutes before I had to properly wake myself up, go on my phone just so that I didn't go back into the nightmare. Strange. Around 0500, a thunderstorm began and it was really loud. It didn't keep me awake for long though. I naturally woke up around 0830. I was tired but I felt much more awake than I have done in awhile. Not sure why considering the amount I had woke up. Steve never wakes up and he's the light sleeper. Where am I going wrong here?! We went down for breakfast. As our hardcore diet starts tomorrow, I decided to have the pancakes for the last time. Probably not the last, let's be honest. But, I'll try. Steve has x4 toast everyday with peanut butter. After breakfast, Sophie and Lauren came over to join us. I really, really like Sophie (she's the Irish girl, in case you're completely lost with who these people are). Sophie is funny, clever and just seems genuine. I like talking to her. The hostel here plays music 24/7 in the kitchen/reception area. It's Sunday morning so the music was really chill. Quite depressing actually, felt like I was listening to mellow magic. God I love that station. We sat around singing along, drinking coffee talking about everything and anything. We were sat next to the pool table so we decided to have a game. It's free so why not. Steve and I, VS Sophie and Lauren. I'm completely and utterly useless at this game and if I hit the white ball, then I'm a winner. It was such an enjoyable morning chilling out in our pjs playing pool talking to people who were strangers less than 2 weeks ago. Somehow, I managed to pot 2 balls in a row which is going down in history. Get me on that TV programme where the men do nothing but play pool. Dunno what it's called though. Steve and I won, all thanks to me (definitely not). We played against two guys, one from France and one from Germany. They were exceptionally good so that was a pointless game. We lost. We went upstairs to get showered and motivated... Go team, go! I got back into bed. Obviously. We chilled out for a while longer before we washed and got dressed. By 1400, I was shaking and feeling like I was gonna pass out again. I think it's the pancakes. This didn't happen when I had muesli for breakfast... Strange. We went and grabbed some lunch before heading to the Crown Casino Sports Bar in Southbank. Steve and I was going to watch the F1 race. We walked along the yarra river. It was about 16 degrees, raining and windy. I was so cold. I was shivering, couldn't feel my fingers or nose. I must buy a winter coat regardless of the price before I freeze over. I'll have to leave it behind too which is annoying as there won't be any space in my backpack. We got to the bar and luckily, there were a few chairs spare. We sat in front of the TV playing the race and ordered a Pure Blonde. Pure Blonde is the 60% less fattening beer - it has very little calories. I think they've just brought out a lighter one too - only 60 calories. I wonder if you can get it at home because my brother would feel better drinking that. The race finished and Hamilton won. I was quite interested in it to be honest, now that I had seen it live and knew what was going on. We left and took the brutally freezing cold walk home. There's so many Ugg shops here and I absolutely love Ugg. The boots are ridiculously cheaper here too. I went into the shop as there was a sale on, just to torment myself really. I found the most gorgeous dressing gown on sale for $80 which is £40. I was devastated I couldn't buy it to take home with me. This is rubbish. The boots were on sale for $110 too. Stupid idea going into that shop. Stupid. Dressing gown was gorgeous. I died a little inside walking out without it. Cream and fluffy and warm and ugg and sale and oh... It was 1800 now and Mel had just got back from her weekend away. We went up to her room to speak to her. Lauren had moved rooms and was now in with Mel. Mel had a nasty girl called Fion who has managed to sleep with 14 people since arriving in Australia. She's been here 3 months. Mel was so glad to see the back of her. Good reason for it too. Steve and I chatted to Lauren and Mel for about 2 hours. We've decided to look at getting an Air BnB. Basically, we would be staying in someone else's apartment/house. They can be there and they can be living elsewhere. Either way, it's not a hostel and we'd be with people we like. The prices can be cheap and expensive so we'd all have to look together. I'm hoping it can happen because I'm sick to death of hostels. I'm not, I quite like the idea of them. I'm sick to death of stupid roommates. Especially the one from Bristol who slams the door every time he walks in or out. Steve and I went upstairs whilst Mel and Lauren had dinner. We weren't particularly hungry enough to cook anything so we skipped it. We looked through a few air bnb's and I think we will be better off. Some would even save us money. Fingers crossed this actually happens. I don't even care if us 4 share one room. It will be better than this. We FaceTimed my Dad and Ange for a while which was really nice. We also got to FaceTime Steve's mum - she even stopped sunbathing for us! We then FaceTimed Steve's nan and grandad. We love speaking to people back home. I think Sunday's are the easiest day to FaceTime. Just a shame I couldn't FaceTime my mum, she finished work at 1400 which was about 2300 here. I was far too tired by that point to FaceTime. I'll try again tomorrow. Luckily she's a shift worker. The door has been slammed roughly 8 times since I started writing this and one fan has been turned off. I'm so annoyed because it's the fan that hits my bed but it's above his bed so he doesn't like the noise. God. This is getting on my last nerve! Steve had also said that he is starving. I told him to go to sleep and it will be breakfast time before he knows it. According to Steve, his "Ramadan" starts tomorrow therefore, as it's just before midnight, he should demolish a McDonald's... He's going on a diet, not fasting, although he said it's the same thing.

[theliterateape]

Hope Idiotic | Part 37

By David Himmel

Hope Idiotic is a serialized novel. Catch each new part every week on Monday and Thursday.

OUTSIDE OF THE CONDO, he called Mark.

“You around?”

“Yeah, just eating a pizza and watching some documentary about some guy eating nothing but McDonald’s for a year. What’s up?”

“I’m coming over. Just walked out of Michelle’s place for good.”

“Great.”

Lou drove straight down Ashland Avenue to Mark’s Bucktown apartment running only one red light.

“You okay?” Mark asked.

“Nope. But it has nothing to do with her. Come on, we’re going to a bar. ”

“What bar?”

“Any bar. Closest one.”

Mark’s choice was only a block from his place. It used to be the usual spot for tired drunks, union guys and neighborhood folk in need of a shot and a beer. Recently, however, it was bought by two spoiled twenty-somethings using mom and dad’s money. Following the trend of irony being cool, the new owners turned the old dive bar into a new dive bar.

They rebranded Zigler’s Tavern as Zigler’s Dive Bar. There was a bit of media frenzy around it, thanks to the culture-shallow editors at The ChiEye and style-obsessed producers of local news. The things that make a bar a dive are not supposed to be the things that are celebrated as a way to attract new clientele. But because of the rotting wood bar, torn bar stools, slanted pool table with a missing 2-ball and a CD-spinning jukebox, Zigler’s was the latest and greatest dump in town. The new owners brought in a chef who not ironically referred to himself as a “tastemaker” to rebirth the long-unused kitchen turning it into a destination for what one reporter called, “must-have bar-and-grill chic.” It was gentrification for alcoholics. Zigler’s was no longer a familiar and charming neighborhood dump, having become a place for other trendy twenty- and thirty-something go-hards to flock south to and pat themselves on the back for slumming it at a bar that charged six bucks for a can of ordinary beer. All this style over substance and jacked-up prices, when what so many people really needed at that time was a quiet place to hide from the crumbling economy and drink their fears away, if only for a few hours. The new Zigler’s was an insult to the hard worker down on his or her luck.

Lou and Mark shuffled their way around a line of people, and Lou pulled open the door. A large bouncer pushed it shut in their faces.

“Line forms out there,” the bouncer said.

They turned and looked. “There’s a line? For what?” Mark asked.

“To get in,” the bouncer said.

Mark looked through the window next to the door. “But there’s plenty of space in there. There are even empty seats at the bar. What gives?”

“Line forms back there,” the bouncer said again with even more authority.

“What the fuck…” Mark said.

“You ever been to this place?”  Lou asked him.

“Yeah, maybe a year ago or so. Came here with some girl. Place was a total shithole. I don’t get it.”

“Fuck it. Let’s go somewhere else.”

“No. I want to see what all this is about.”

They waited in line another twenty minutes before finally reaching the door and the bouncer again.

“IDs,” the bouncer demanded.

“You’re new here, huh?” Mark said. “When did you start?”

The bouncer looked over the IDs then at the guys before handing the cards back and giving them the okay to enter by grunting, “Have a nice night.” They secured seats at the bar and ordered Miller Lites and shots of Jameson.

“Well, I have to say, although I’m not happy with this bouncer or these new prices, the girls in this place are far better-looking than before.”

“I’m not taking that shot,” Lou said.

“Shut up. You just broke up with your girlfriend. You deserve a shot.”

“I can’t do shots. You know that. My body won’t allow it. I’ll puke it up instantly.”

“You drink scotch and bourbon neat all the time. It’s the same thing.”

“I sip those.”

“I’ve seen you drink, Lou, you don’t sip. Come on. Sláinte!”

Mark gulped the whiskey down. Lou drank his slower and a moment later, spit up a mouthful of puke onto the floor.

“Jesus!” Mark said.

“I told you.”

Mark looked around. “You done? You’re lucky no one saw that.”

“I’m a professional puker. I can puke in public without ever getting noticed. Phantom puker.”

“We’re going to change that.” Mark ordered another round of shots.

After a couple hours of drinking beer and whiskey shots—with only the occasional vomit from Lou—and striking out with several of the pretty and prissy girls finding the broken pool table ever so charming, Lou and Mark decided to call it a night. Plus, Lou was barely keeping his faculties in check. If the adrenaline from the break-up hadn’t been at full throttle, he’d have passed out long ago.

“How much cash do you have on you?” he asked Mark as they walked back to the apartment.

“I dunno. Twenty, thirty bucks, why?”

“We’re going to an ATM. We’re buying whores.

“Shut up.”

“There, that 7-11. Let’s go there and get cash.”

“Dude, we’re not getting whores. There are no hookers in Chicago.”

“Gimme your iPhone.” Lou searched Chicago Escort Service, which resulted in a list of agencies and phone numbers. He pointed his find to Mark, then dialed the first hit. “Hello, I’d like to purchase an escort—no, two escorts for this evening. Yes, right away. An apartment in Bucktown. How about brunette and athletic. Yes, both of them, thank you. We can pay cash. How much? No problem. The address is—Hey, what’s your address?”

Mark relayed the address, adding,

“Okay, we’re looking forward to meeting the lovely ladies. Bye-bye.”

Lou gave the phone back to Mark with a disturbing amount of pride.

“Have you done that before?”

“Nope. First time.”

“How did you know?”

“There’s always a hooker at the ready, my friend. Now, let’s go get that money.”

“How much?”

“Cheap. Three hundred bucks.”

“Do you even have that much?”

“I need to borrow three hundred bucks.”

✶

AT THE APARTMENT, THEY EACH DRANK ANOTHER BEER and straightened the place up so that the hookers wouldn’t feel like they were dealing with scumbags. They turned the spare bedroom, which Mark had been using as the TV room, into Lou’s love palace by opening the couch that really was a sofa bed and throwing a few blankets and pillows on it. Lou found a large glass candle of Saint Casimir that Mark’s religious aunt had sent to him and used it as mood lighting.

When the escorts arrived, the guys were disappointed that they were not what had been promised. Both girls were brunette, but neither was athletic, and both had the dentistry of a 19th-century English servant. One was tall and thin with a flat chest and no ass; the other was short and squishy with enormous tits and a gigantic ass. Mark and Lou looked at each other.

“You take the tall one, since you’re taller than me,” Lou said.

“I can’t believe you’re making me do this.”

“And you paid for it.”

They paired off and went to their respective rooms.

“It’s very nice,” the girl said to Lou as she looked around the room. “What do you want to do tonight, sweetie?”

“What do you think?”

She laughed. “You’re cute. How do you want it. What do you want me to do for you?”

“Just pretend to care.”

All of the drinking made his dick numb, so they screwed for over an hour. Lou wept the entire time.

Across the apartment, Mark acted impressed with his girl’s trick of applying the condom with her mouth. She screamed like a bad actress in an even worse porno while faking an orgasm. Mark laughed a little. Because he wasn’t as drunk as Lou, his whiskey dick was more in tune with sensations, and he was done sooner. Plus, he just wanted to get it over with. He and his girl sat on the couch watching the rest of the documentary while the other two finished up.

Immediately after coming, Lou passed out. The girl emerged from his room and the other quickly stood up ready to leave. “Your friend is very said,” Lou’s girl said.

“Yeah. I know,” said Mark. “We’re working on that. You don’t happen to know whether your company is hiring any copywriters, do you?”

The girls giggled politely and left. Hearing the giggles, Mark wondered what they might have thought a copywriter was.

Part I Part II Part III Part IV Part V Part VI Part VII Part VIII Part IX Part X Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29 Part 30 Part 31 Part 32 Part 33 Part 34 Part 35 Part 36

#Bildungsroman #Hope Idiotic #Fiction #Chicago Fiction #David Himmel Fiction #David Himmel Novel #David Himmel Author #Dark Humor #Carbon Monoxide Poisoning

[the-final-straw-blog]

Prison Strike updates & pt2 of Guy Steward on Rojava

This week, we'll be featuring a short roundup of some of the events inside and outside of the prison walls during the beginning of the Prisoner Work Strike that started on September 9th in the United Snakes with the goal of ending Prison Slavery in U.S. prisons.  After that we'll hear the last half hour of Gil O'Teen's conversation with Guy McGowan Steel Steward, an American anarcho-communist about his joining the Rojava Revolution alongside Kurdish and other folks in Northern Syria.  This portion, they discuss nationalism and national identity in Rojava, the draft, the decision to adopt Federalization within Rojava and more. This is within the context of recent Turkish incursions into the Kurdish regions of northern Syria which have led to deaths among civilians and YPG/YPJ forces of the Kurdish Resistance.  These deaths include foreign fighters who've joined the Rojava struggle.  Happily, Guy is not among those dead.  There is an interesting discussion and an homage to american anarchist fighter Jordan MacTaggart, an interview with Rojava Solidarity NYC, plus much much more in the latest episode of The Ex-Worker podcast, available at crimethinc.com/podcast that I suggest folks check out and share with friends. Some further resources concerning the YJC and YCR. and Osman Evcan, Turkish anarchist prisoner who is starting a new hunger strike. To hear our interview on this matter, visit us here. International Brigade reactions to Turkish aggressions video. And 7 anarchists arrested and accused of being members of FAI. Additionally, other arrests around FAI-accused anarchists in news from Italy. National Prisoner Work Stoppage Background and Inside Resistance As many of you are probably aware, Friday September 9th kicked off the largest and most coordinated prisoner work stoppage in the US in all history, on the 45th anniversary of the Attica Prison uprising. Organized in conjunction with incarcerated members of the Free Alabama Movement (FAM) and the Incarcerated Workers Organizing Committee (IWOC), this work stoppage is turning a bright spotlight on the continuing condition of slavery in the United States, a slavery upon which this country's economy is cripplingly dependant. Prisoners are also forced to be responsible for running the actual prisons themselves, working in the laundry, cafeteria, and so on, pretty much in any non-administrative capacity you can think of. I don't think it should go without saying that much of this labor goes unwaged, though the on average 13 cents an hour that inmates get paid is nothing compared to the exorbitant costs of goods in prison stores. Friday kicked off the actual strike, but resistance from within prison got started well before then with fires being set at Lincoln Correctional Center in Lincoln, Nebraska on September 6th, a 4 dormitory wide riot at Holmes prison in Bonifay, Florida on the 7th which hopped from dorm to dorm in the facility keeping just ahead of the CO's attemts to quell the rebellion, creating a Whak-A-Mole type situation that I'm sure the prison officials just loved. Also on the 7th inmates at the infamous military detention center Guantanamo Bay remain on hunger strike to protest their indefinite detentions, many of whom were captured as part of the xenophobic and racist governmental response to September 11th, 2001, 15 years ago today.   September 9th at noon saw a complete work stoppage at Holman Correctional in Atmore, Alabama where our comrade Michael Kimble is held captive. There is no incidents yet from prison officials, and guards and COs were forced to perform all tasks. Sit down strikes and work stoppages were also held in Bonifay, FL in the aforementioned Holmes Prison, amid the ashes of the fires set only two days prior. In Troy VA, there was a work stoppage at a women's facility,  and all across this state of North Carolina prisoners refused to report to their jobs. At a women's facility in California 10 or so brave souls refused to work and effectively shut the whole prison down because of fear of a riot. Disturbances were reported at Gulf and Mayo prisons in Florida, and three guards were injured in scuffles at Tecumseh Prison in Nebraska. Yesterday saw a continuation of resistance in Nebraska at a women's facility, from all over South Carolina, and continuing resistance in Atmore. Solidarity from overseas has been flying in fast and furious, with statements from prisoners in Greece, Australia, Lithuania, and Sweden among many others.   Repression of those who are striking has mostly consisted of prison lockdowns and targeting of people who have been designated the "ringleaders". It will be very important for people to recieve solidarity from those on the outside in order for this resistance to continue. Keep your eyes on itsgoingdown.org and the live updates at maskmagazine.com for current info and calls for backup. You can visit the IWOC at iwoc.org for a list of concrete anti-repression tactics to share with those who are incarcerated and otherwise. Local Events, Arrests, and Donations to the Legal Fund Now, let's take a gander at some of the events we were able to find that took place outside of the prison walls, per se, around the U.S. and around the world. A full narrative of outside support events would take a very long time, which is a good thing, so we're going to read through some highlights starting local to get the attention of the folks locally on this.  We'll be giving precedence to two local struggles in which arrests occurred.  If folks from elsewhere have an experience they want to share, send us an email at [email protected] or add it to the growing lists of solidarity by emailing [email protected]. First off, let's begin with Western North Carolina. This text is from a fundraising site to cover legal costs : "In the early afternoon of Septmeber 9th, comrades held a banner outside of the Avery Mitchell Correctional Facility in Spruce Pine, North Carolina. This was an attempt to offer support to any of the 816 prisoners at the facility involved in prison functions who may have chosen to withhold their labor as part of the wider strike against prison society. 5 arrests were made and trespassing charges were issued. Later that afternoon in downtown Asheville, and following a #NoDAPL solidarity march and protest at TD Bank, there was a march through downtown in support of striking prisoners.  60-70 folks banged pots and pans, held banners and signs, passed out leaflets and chanted "Brick By Brick, Wall By Wall, We Will Make Your Prisons Fall" and other classics.  Police followed the march blaring requests to get out of the street and eventually attempted to push the marchers onto the sidewalk with their vehicles.  Attempts to engage the Friday night drum circle into hitting the pavement fell on deaf ears as folks made their way towards the Buncombe County Detention Facility.  While passing by the local Goombay festival, flyers were distributed and a group of folks backstage answered our chants of "Our Passion for Freedom..." with their own melodious note of "Freedom".  A few minutes later and a few blocks away, 3 of ours were arrested, accused of blocking traffic and one with an additional charge of resisting arrest.  By midnight the 3 were out. Everyone is out and no more money for bail is required, but support for legal defense, court fees and lawyers is necessary, and we are asking for your help At moments like these it is so crucial that we support people doing work to sustain the struggle for racial justice & prison abolition. This allows us to create stronger movements where we can all continue to be leaders in these fields and help a build stronger sense of community, especially in the south.  We are all in this together and we need to continuously show up for each other, not just in the streets but in ways that allow us to continue to sustain our lives and our passions for the movement. We believe that no one should go through this alone, especially marginalized folks who are brave enough to put themselves in these front lines. We are so proud of the North Carolina communities right now." You can connect to that fundraiser at: https://actionnetwork.org/fundraising/legal-support-for-wnc-sept-9-solidarity-activists -------------------------- Folks in Atlanta took the streets on Friday, September 9th, in the face of serious police repression. From atlblackcross.org comes this information: "Today marks the beginning of the national prison strike.  Prisoners all over the country are going on strike and refusing to cooperate with the unjust prison system.  They are demanding decent pay for work, decent food and living conditions, and an end to inhumane practices like solitary confinement. In Atlanta, supporters marched through Midtown and disrupted several corporations which profit from prison slavery.  Wendy’s, McDonalds, Aramark, and Starbucks all got a visit.  When the march got to Starbucks, police made several violent arrests, using pepper spray and slamming people to the pavement.  At one point, police even tried to run marchers over with a squad car. We are working hard to make sure all the protesters get free as soon as possible, so everyone can continue doing the important work of supporting the ongoing prison strike."  As of this morning, Sunday, September 11th (make a wish!), all defendants are out but are facing some stupidly hefty charges.  One demonstrator apparently was taken during their arrest to a police precinct women's bathroom and choke slammed against the wall for being a part of copwatch in Atlanta. FTP! More on the Atlanta cases and how to support them can be found at https://actionnetwork.org/fundraising/bail-out-prison-strike-supporters International Solidarity International solidarity with the strike has been tremendous, with banner drops, graffitti and actions ranging far and wide. Here are a few instances of international solidarity, this is by no means a complete list. You can see more information about this, plus photos and full statements at It's Going Down.       * Horgoš, Serbia: Banner drop in support of prison strike. * Brisbane, Australia: Solidarity action with US prisoners. *Melbourne, Australia: Info table with literature about US prisons and the prison strike, along with collected donations. * Melbourne, Australia: Anarchist demonstration outside US Consulate. * Malmö, Sweden: Solidarity demonstration. * Athens, Greece: Demonstration outside Korydallos women’s prison. * Leipzig, Germany: Rally outside US Consulate. * Montreal, Canada: Dinner and film screening in solidarity with prisoner rebellion. * Melbourne, Australia: Noise demo at youth jail. * Barcelona, Spain: Graffiti messages of support written on McDonald’s. Playlist is here: http://www.ashevillefm.org/node/17496

Check out this episode!

#anarchist #podcast #interview #feminist #antifa #anticapitalist

[soloshow131]

Updated show

Bring Back Chain mail -

Salterello music - 

Unit 1: Introduction 

Welcome to my castle.

My name is Thomas Paul Anthony Campe. That’s what I tell my family and friends. But I really identify as a medieval squire - squire Tom. . 

Unit 2: Self conscious 

Aye, I appreciate medieval culture. I like knights. In this day and age, I can become one! 

Unit 3: Premise 

Allow me, my lords, my ladies, to share with you the toils and triumphs, the highs and lows of my still ongoing quest of becoming a knight. 

Unit 4: A knights purpose

A knights purpose around the year 1000 wasn’t just to fight, but to serve. The word Knight itself comes from the Anglo Saxon word cniht, which means a servant – you may have noticed my dutious serving of (food) behavior before the dance. Bound to a king or lord by contract, in exchange for his loyalty, a cniht would be given lands; property on which he could grow and sell his crops. On this land, a cniht would produce heirs, the first born of whom would inherit this land and train as a squire to become a cniht! Ahh, the circle of life. 

Unit 5: My land 

My land is 1 Highfield Drive, Lexden road, Colchester, co3 3qa. My lord is the renowned sir Stephen Campe of Swansea. (Take out picture of Steve) Legendary pilot in his youth, and now a humble crafter of fibre optic cables.  

Unit 6: Cheeky

I’ve yet to produce any heirs yet, but give me time! I’ve fathered a bastard or two - you can ask any serving girl in ye olde playhouse about that.

Unit 7: Cleggy:

 They knight anyone these days. (Mock) 'Ser Nicholas Clegg', 'Bill Gates'  -  they knight Americans! They’re not even British! (Squint). Nay, I can't see them galloping into battle! Knighthood has been devalued!

Unit 8: Arthur

Where’s all the swords and chain mail? I’d grab my armour and join the queens army right away but firstly, I can’t afford any chain mail because I spent the last of my student loan on a pewter replica of Arthur and his round table - complete with all 14 original knights! And secondly, I disapprove of our military.

Unit 9: The Army:

They no longer want to get close and personal with our enemies. Everything is done with buttons or triggers from a distance. Where’s the respect?

Unit 10: Ned Stark: 

Ned Stark from game of thrones said that “If you would take a mans life, you owe it to him to look him in the eye and hear his final words, and if you cannot bear to do that, then perhaps he deserves to live.”  Forget missiles, bring back flails! Maybe if weapon technology wasn’t developing so rapidly, war would slow down - and we’d actually enjoy it more! nbsp;

Unit 11: Knife and Fork

(gesture out to them) Since a child,  I’ve been developing my own style of warfare. A Squire must be innovative - In close quarters, spontaneous. I ask ye all, at what time of the day are you most likely to be attacked? On the battlefield? Nay! When you eat! Three times a day, breaking your fast, supping your supper and... digesting your dinner - when better a time to have your gullet opened than when you’re hunched over a roasted hog, stuffing your guts - or sucking the bone marrow out of a honeyed Pigeon! Fortunately, we have by our sides two companions, often undervalued as basic eating utensils. The knife and fork. (say it as fuck). Or as I like to call them, instruments of war. Versatile and reliable; let their inconspicuous nature be your advantage. A range of vendors claim that theirs is the superior quality but - I recommend ye purchase from IKEA for a well balanced pair of arms. (show knife)  

I once stabbed straight through a gluttonous hand with this beauty... if your enemy happens to have his own utensils, fear not to engage in combat. To demonstrate the effectiveness of the knife and fork, I invite a lord or lady to the stage…

 Attempt to steal my Potato! And I’ll judge your worth. You have ten seconds. But first, safety (Hand them a glove) Bard! Some battle music if you will! Oh, curse you for a villain. That won't do – leave us! My lords, my ladies, I apologize. Pray, try to conjure up some imaginary music.  

Let us begin! (Do funny voice and taunt the opponent)  

En Garde, pre, parri!

Lunge, riposte, parry, counter stab, disarmed!

(We duel over a bowl of potatoes.)

 Haha! I am victorious - but humble. I will share with you the spoils of war.  

Unit 11: Fair Maidens:

But just as a knight needs his fork, he needs a sheath for it. Fair Maidens, they’re hard to come by in Colchester. All the best stock are taken and linger outside McDonald’s, their greasy hair just like mine, glistening in the sunlight. Lady Shanara Stone of Highwoods. I’ve had my eyes on her like a Hawk does its prey.. if only I could grasp her. 

Unit 12: Favour:

She gave me her favour. A token of her gratitude.. I’ve got it here. Sometimes, I can almost taste her.. 

Unit 13: Sonnets:

She is worthy of all the sweet sonnets and ballads there are, for through her stems all good virtues.

Unit 14: Tyler:

If only she wasn’t with that vile Sir Tyler of Greenstead Estate... Friends, dost thou scent that? Lynx aroma, and more than a hint of cannabis? Hah! I knew it. Ser Tyler. Dost thou insist to fill the world will foul qualities! After I’m through with you next is your mother. HEMA club taught me this one - historical european martial arts. nbsp;

Unit 15: Knights in White Satin:

 Oh Shanara.. why him! (song)

Part of the difficulty I have as a modern day squire is that I’m all alone. I cannot trust anyone… I need loyal companions, fellow squires who too seek to bring light to this dark plain we tread on. So.. (sigh) I’ve decided to create my own order, with fresh statutes, in the hope that they’ll tempt some of you lords and ladies into joining me on my adventures.

I researched some of the rules from knighthood orders in the past such as Williams the conquerors laws. On of them is ‘One God to be revered throughout the whole realm’. Now I understand that some of us here may worship different gods, some of us may not worship any god at all, some of us may be considering worshiping a god but need a little proof. Well fear not! (take out second chair character). One god to represent them all! Take your pick, hah! He’s not much of a talker, but most gods aren't - and this one is completely physical. Seeing is believing! He’s right here guys, you can’t deny it. What shall we call him? Great. I’ll leave him here, to watch over us.

Okay law two I found on the English defence league website and it’s to 'refuse to tolerate the intolerant’ right, now I thought this would be good rule to adopt as it’s ambiguous isn’t it? We all find people intolerant and as founder of this order, I don’t mind who you chose not to tolerate as long as you’re not violent towards them. That's all I've got for now, but I've left some parchment outside the inn so do ink down some of your own suggestions after.  

To symbolise our new community I have chosen our tools of warfare and defence - the knife and fork. Now, for the special part. The knighthood. Who will step forward? You will represent all the others. Kneel. Be without fear in the face of anything that has a face. Know that I love you as a brother, and shall throughout eternity. Speak the truth even if it leads to your imprisonment and a criminal record . Safeguard the helpless and bear your knife and fork with honour. That is your oath! Welcome brothers, sisters! To the order of the Knife and Fork!

Unit 15: Reflection:

Often I wonder, do I belong in this life, do I have a purpose? I strive to be a true knights and yet  am accused of being sexist or patronising. Yesterday morning, I broke my fast at university and held the door open for a fair maiden, despite her ingratitude I remained, my arm bearing the weight of that upright plank of wood while not one, by five others passed through my gateway of kindness. Still I stood strong as ten others passed, along with ten more minutes of my life. An hour gone and the whole room had emptied, save for but a young lad who gazed at me belligerently. 

Unit 16: Ungrateful 

(To Tyler) I do this twice a week! I don’t even lift! It never gets any easier and yet no one seems to care!

Joe comes on. Tom, can I go home now? I'm tired.

Go home? Retreat? Now? You'll stay here until the end of the congregation.

This is so pathetic. You're not a knight! You're a friendless nerd who doesn't wash and mum wants you to buy more tin foil because you've left it in a right state. I'm going now.

Nay, Joe. Come, this is folly!

Piss off Tom. (leaves)

Unit 17: Give up

Who am I kidding. I’m not a knight.. I’m not even a squire. I’m a student who can’t face up to his dull reality. I return home to my mother and fathers castle, not mine. I owe them for all that I have. So many years I’ve wasted, cocooned in history, reading about greater men than me, letting my hair and finger nails grow long, chasing a way of life that vanished hundreds of years ago.. only the folks at the medieval fair here in Colchester understand me and I can’t stay connected to them for I don’t agree with modern technology! This is all self indulgence. Romanticism. Chivalry, whatever it is.. is dead. nbsp;

Unit 18: Hope 

Phone call My lady? What? You really want to come? Well, it’s at castle park… they have archery and a hog roast… I could purchase you a broach if you like! Oh, brilliant, marvellous! I shall see you at 10:66! Oh, ten past six, right. Huzzah! nbsp;

Music

[travelinghermit]

August 7 - ALMA

What I thought was a hopeless situation last night ended up turning around in my favor this morning. Not on the Confirmed list nor the Waiting list to get on the bus to the free ALMA or Atacama Large Milimeter Array facilities tour but just the right number of people chose not to show up and so I the opportunist was very happy to be included along with all those who booked months ago.

I uncharacteristically slept in this morning until five before eight while dreaming about ordering Mcdonalds breakfast back home, seriously. I jumped out the bed, got changed, and ran out the door of my hotel frantically thinking the time of departure for the tour was at eight except it was really at nine. It took me some time asking locals where the meet up spot was for the tour so im glad I was wrong. Along with me were two Chilean guys we were the first people at the meet up spot and coincidentally were the only three who werent on any lists. Eventually more and more arrived as the time closed in on 9:00am and as more people showed the more my doubts grew. I was very hopeful but I was also fully prepared to watch that bus drive away. I was the last person to climb onto the bus and after high fiving the tour guide girl we were off and running.

It took the bus only fifteen or so minutes to drive to the outskirts beyond San Pedro to where the desert began ascending to the snow capped mountains seperating Chile from Argentina. In this baron middle area is where the main facilities of ALMA the world’s most technologically advanced and most expensive observatory currently operating in the world lies. To my surprise it only recently opened eight years ago and is the joint venture of the U.S., Japan, Canada, and Chile, with scientists from all over the globe venturing far in the Atacama desert to use its one of a kind telescopes. The main purpose of ALMA is to look far into deep space where there is no viewable light to take detailed photos of anything from the creation of planets to black holes depending on the project. Some serious questions being asked at this observatory and some being answered.

The tour first took us to a visitor center where they showed us how the giant telescopes get transported when they are needed in other areas of the 16km space where the 66 or so telescopes are positioned high in the mountains. Unfortunately this space is far too high up for visitors to see but I also think they dont want people up there potentially messing with million dollar telescopes. After we watched a movie on the creation and purpose of ALMA and then we were taken to the main base where the engineers work on repairs and such and then finally to the main control room where we only had maybe a ten minute description of what the computers in the control do and a few questions for the three Astronomers there. I really wanted to see it in action but no visitors for that. It really sucks how you really have to be an expert of experts to see any of the real deal cool stuff going on in action. Not just in astronomy at ALMA but in anything in life. All we normal people get is a brief 2 hour tour briefed only on the surphace area details. But thats life.

The final act of the tour was seeing a decomissioned Japanese telescope they have on the outside of the base to see it close up. Actually I imagined it quite bigger but fascinating to know just how far it can see into space from the images plastered around the tour. Their was a huge building behind the telescope almost like a warehouse and when I asked the tour guide what it was she pointed to the trailers infront of us and said “See these trailers are where the Japanese scientists work and that big building is where the Americans work.” “Makes sense” I replied humourously.

We were back in San Pedro by 12:30pm and I was starving. I walked instantly and got two empanadas and a coffee and had the rest of the day for myself. I would have also liked to do a star gazing tour tonight but unfortunately the dumb moon is full and the tour operator isnt running until Thursday. But I am just happy I got into the ALMA thats all I really came here to do and I succeeded. Tomorrow I ride back to Antofagasta for a few days and then continue on the journey.

[soloshow131]

Uniting

Salterello music - 

Unit 1: Introduction 

Welcome to my castle.

My name is Thomas Paul Anthony Campe. That’s what I tell my family and friends. But I really identify as a medieval squire - squire Tom. . 

Unit 2: Self conscious 

Aye, I appreciate medieval culture. I like knights. In this day and age, I can become one! 

Unit 3: Premise 

Allow me, my lords, my ladies, to share with you the toils and triumphs, the highs and lows of my still ongoing quest of becoming a knight. 

Unit 4: A knights purpose

A knights purpose around the year 1000 wasn’t just to fight, but to serve. The word Knight itself comes from the Anglo Saxon word cniht, which means a servant. Bound to a king or lord by contract, a cniht would be given lands; property on which he could grow and sell his crops. On this land, a cniht would produce heirs, the first born of whom would inherit this land and train as a squire to become a cniht! Ahh, the circle of life. 

Unit 5: My land 

My land is 1 Highfield Drive, Lexden road, Colchester, co3 3qa. My lord is the renowned sir Stephen Campe of Swansea. Legendary pilot in his youth, and now a humble crafter of fibre optic cables.  

Unit 6: Cheeky

I’ve yet to produce any heirs yet, but give me time! I’ve fathered a bastard or two - you can ask any serving girl in ye olde playhouse about that.

Unit 7: Bradley Wiggins:

 They knight anyone these days. Bradley Wiggins, Angelina Jolie - they knight Americans! They’re not even British! Knighthood has been devalued!

Unit 8: Arthur

 Where’s all the swords and chain mail? I’d grab my armour and join the army right away but one, I can’t afford any chain mail because I spent the last of my student loan on a pewter replica of Arthur and his round table - complete with all 14 original knights! And secondly, I disapprove of the army.

Unit 9: The Army:

 They no longer want to get close and personal with our enemies. Everything is done with buttons or triggers from a distance. Where’s the respect?

Unit 10: Ned Stark: 

Ned Stark from game of thrones said that “If you would take a mans life, you owe it to him to look him in the eye hear his final words, and if you cannot bear to do that, then perhaps he deserves to live.”  Forget missiles, bring back flails! Maybe if weapon technology wasn’t developing so rapidly, war would slow down and we’d actually enjoy it more. nbsp;

Unit 11: Knife and Fork

Since youth I’ve been developing my own style of warfare. A Squire must be innovative - In close quarters, spontaneous. I ask ye all, at what time of the day are you most likely to be attacked? On the battlefield? Nay! When you eat! Three times a day, breaking your fast, supping your supper and digesting your dinner - when better a time to have your gullet opened than when you’re hunched over a roasted hog, stuffing your guts - or sucking the bone marrow out of a honeyed Pigeon! Fortunately, we have by our sides two companions, often undervalued as basic eating utensils. The knife and fork, or as I like to call them, instruments of war. Versatile and reliable; let their inconspicuous nature be your advantage. A range of vendors claim that theirs is the superior quality but - I recommend ye purchase from IKEA for a well balanced pair of arms. (show knife)  

I once stabbed straight through a greedy hand with this beauty. If, however, your enemy happens to have his own utensils, fear not to engage in combat. To demonstrate the effectiveness of the knife and fork, I invite a lord or lady to the stage…

 Attempt to steal my Potato! And I’ll judge your worth. But first, safety. (Hand them a glove)  

 (Do funny voice and taunt the opponent)  

En Garde, pre, parri!

Lunge, riposte, parry, counter stab, disarmed!

(We duel over a bowl of potatoes.)

 Haha! I am victorious - but humble. I will share with you the spoils of war.  

Unit 11: Fair Maidens:

But just as a knight needs his sword, he needs a sheath for it. Fair Maidens, they’re hard to come by in Colchester. All the best stock are taken and linger outside McDonald’s, their greasy hair just like mine, glistening in the sunlight. Lady Shanara Stone of Highwoods. I’ve had my eyes on her like a Hawk does its prey.. if only I could grasp her. 

Unit 12: Favour:

She gave me her favour. A token of her gratitude.. I’ve got it here. Sometimes, I can almost taste her.. 

Unit 13: Sonnets:

She is worthy of all the sweet sonnets and ballads there are, for through her stems all good virtues.

Unit 14: Tyler:

If only she wasn’t with that vile Sir Tyler of Greenstead Estate. Dost thou insist to fill the world will foul qualities! After I’m through with you next is your mother. HEMA club taught me this one - historical european martial arts. nbsp;

Unit 15: Knights in White Satin:

 Oh Shanara.. (song)

Part of the difficulty I have as a modern day squire is that I'm all alone. I cannot trust anyone... I need loyal companions, fellow knights who too seek to bring light to this dark plain we tread on. So, I've decided to create my own order of statutes in the hope that they'll tempt some of you lords and ladies into joining me on my adventures.

I researched some of the rules from knighthood orders in the past such as Williams the conquerors laws. On of them is 'One God to be revered throughout the whole realm’. Now I understand that some of us here may worship different gods, some of us may not worship any god at all, some of us may be considering worshiping a god but need a little encouragment. Well fear not! For I have on my person a solution to our problem (take out second chair character). He’s not much of a talker, but not all gods are. Seeing is believing. He’s right here guys, you can’t deny it. What shall we call him? Sam? Great. I’ll leave him here, to watch over us. Okay so that's rule number one - Nicola dear, write these down please.

Okay law two I found on the English defence league website and it's to 'refuse to tolerate the intolerant' right, now I thought this would be good rule to adopt as it's ambiguous isn't it? We all find people intolerant and as founder of this order, I don't mind who you chose not to tolerate as long as you're not violent towards them. That leads me onto my next rule -

To symbolise our new community I have chosen our tools of warfare and defence - the knife and fork. Now if you'll all line up and kneel before me, I'll knight you.

Unit 15: Reflection:

Often I wonder, do I belong in this life, do I have a purpose? I strive to be a true knights and yet  am accused of being sexist or patronising. Yesterday morning, I broke my fast at university and held the door open for a fair maiden, despite her ingratitude I remained, my arm bearing the weight of that upright plank of wood while not one, by five others passed through my gateway of kindness. Still I stood strong as ten others passed, along with ten more minutes of my life. An hour gone and the whole room had emptied, save for but a young lad who gazed at me belligerently. 

Unit 16: Ungrateful 

(To Tyler) I do this twice a week! I don’t even lift! It never gets any easier and yet no one seems to care!

Unit 17: Give up

Who am I kidding. I’m not a knight.. I’m not even a squire. I’m a student who can’t face up to his dull reality. I return home to my mother and fathers castle, not mine. I owe them for all that I have. So many years I’ve wasted, cocooned in history, reading about greater men than me, letting my hair and finger nails grow long, chasing a way of life that vanished hundreds of years ago.. only the folks at the medieval fair here in Colchester understand me and I can’t stay connected to them for I don’t agree with modern technology! This is all self indulgence. Romanticism. Chivalry, whatever it is.. is dead. nbsp;

Unit 18: Hope 

Phone call My lady? What? You really want to come? Well, it’s at castle park… they have archery and a hog roast… I could purchase you a broach if you like! Oh, brilliant, marvellous! I shall see you at 10:66! Oh, ten past six, right. Huzzah! nbsp;

Music